Named characters

Major entities (proper, common)

FAC

87 home/their new place/the third Kent residence/here
85 the office/his office/Patrick ’s office/my office/my office on Bruton Street/the apartment/the place/The Life Building/his own office/the street/Jesse ’s office
81 The Manor/the Manor/a country mansion/the bar at The Manor/this huge house/the estate
80 the room/the summer room/the bathroom/the corridor/this room/a summer room/a corridor/a freshly plastered room/The rooms/These rooms/their bathroom/the vast room that I ’m so familiar with , my eyes falling on the gigantic , cream , marble bath dominating the centre of the room/The building/her immaculate room/the bedroom/the furthest room/a room/the extension rooms/this place/the house/The room/a function room/an immense , super luxurious , communal bedroom – The Communal Room/The Communal Room
70 the kitchen/the bathroom/a ridiculously large kitchen/the plush kitchen/the room/the impressive kitchen
65 the place/the house/the mansion/the room/The place/The communal room/the huge house that looms centrally/the magnificent building/the vast area/the grand , centrally position , curved staircase that leads up to the first floor/the Mansion/Mrs Kent ’s lovely new town house/this Kensington house/their third home/the building/the huge kitchen/here/this place/the kitchen/a function room/the function room/the communal room/the suite/a place where people go to have sex and he sometime joins in
55 the stairs/the wide staircase/the suite/the staircase
53 the bar/The room/The Blue Bar/the dance floor/bar/the restaurant
52 here/the apartment
34 the penthouse/the building/the lounge/the workout room/the master suite of the penthouse/The elevator/this Penthouse/The penthouse/Jesse ’s apartment

GPE

9 the city/The city
4 this place/This place
2 The Manor
1 The country sector
1 The place
1 this town
1 town
1 the big city
1 the UK
1 this state

LOC

10 the world
7 the island
3 the countryside
2 the slopes
2 the landline
2 this world
2 earth
2 the planet
2 the gravel
2 These shallow waters

PER

116 this man/This man/The man/the big guy/baby/lady/big guy/Big guy/this beautiful man/the one who seems to be off in his own little nirvana now , while I ’m becoming increasingly aware of my rising temperature/my man/a God/the man/the right person for this job/the poor man/the ultimate player/an older man/the scientist/Jesse ’s mate/the guy/good Lord/the cruel bastard/the mystery van buyer/My man/Carmichael ’s baby/The poor man/The idiot/The assistant/the assistant/Crazy man/a self - absorbed , unreasonable rogue/Matt ’s right hand man in all of his transgressions/my boss/a dear man/lads/a man that has my heart in a tangled mess/a shower man/a bath man/the first man/a man who swept me up in his intensity and blindsided me with his physical being/Sir/a physically powerful , passionate and captivating man , reduced to a drunken wreck/a stranger/a hurtful , cruel and merciless man
112 The man/the man/this man/lady/This man/baby/darling/My man/the biggest black man I ’ve ever seen/the big guy/this glorious man/magnificent man/a fool/the guy/one stubborn woman/an arrogant arse/a genius/an ignorant arse/this strange man/this captivating man that I ’m propped up against/the Lord/the one/That young/a mature business man/this beautiful , neurotic man/The poor man/Lazy bastard/a non - paying client/a brutal , demanding sex Lord/my Little Miss Stubborn knickers/Crazy man/this one/this man with no protection/The stall owner/a man of his word/the mystery man who answered my phone yesterday/that man who answered your phone/that man/This tall , lean , strapping man/The devastating man I fell I love with/the man that I thought/that nasty , drunken creature
45 baby/lady/The girl/the man/the big guy/girl/stupid woman/The modern woman/darling/the girl/this girl/The woman/this woman/a petite , blonde lady in the lobby/the stupid , stupid woman
32 someone/Someone/someone else/anyone else
31 lady/this woman/baby/Lady
18 a man/A man/this man/her man/The modern man/a prince of seduction
17 a woman/A woman/the girlfriend/the wife/the next lucky woman/A friend/My friend
17 anyone/anyone so full of themselves/Anyone
16 friends/Friends
15 the woman/The woman/the waitress/his wife/my girl/this woman/the wilting waitress/A dumpy lady/The poor woman

ORG

1 an established design company
1 a team who ’ll provide a six star hotel - style service
1 secondary school
1 a design consultation and/or project
1 the army

VEH

35 the car/my car/My car/his car/Sam ’s car/the Porsche
30 my car/My car/his car/my Mini
21 his car/my car/the car/a car/his semi - abandoned car/His car
12 the van/a twenty year old , hot pink VW camper van that spits and fires all over London on cake deliveries/a new delivery van/The van
6 my Mini/my car
6 the taxi/a taxi/The taxi
5 the boats/These rowing boats/boats
5 the bike
5 Jesse ’s car/my car
4 a taxi

Text

Chapter 1 [I]_2342-matt rifle through the piles and piles of paraphernalia that ’s sprawled all over [my]_2342-matt bedroom floor . [I]_2342-matt ’m going to be late . On a Friday , after being on time all week , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to be late . ‘ [Kate]_2557-kate ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt yell frantically . Where the hell are [they]_271-they ? [I]_2342-matt run out onto the landing and throw [myself]_2342-matt over the banister . ‘ [Kate]_2557-kate ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hear the familiar sound of a wooden spoon bashing the edges of a ceramic bowl as [Kate]_2557-kate appears at the bottom of [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} . [She]_2557-kate looks up at [me]_2342-matt with a tired expression . It ’s an expression [I]_2342-matt ’ve become use to recently . ‘ Keys ! Have [you]_273-you seen [my]_2342-matt car keys ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt puff at [her]_2557-kate . ‘ [They]_271-they ’re_[2342-matt] on the coffee table where [you]_273-you left [them]_271-they last night . ’ [She]_2557-kate rolls [her]_2557-kate eyes , taking [herself]_2557-kate and [her]_2557-kate cake mixture back to [[her]_2557-kate workshop]_{2322-her workshop} . [I]_2342-matt dart across the landing in a complete fluster and find [my]_2342-matt car keys under a pile of weekly glossies . ‘_[2342-matt] Hiding again , ’ [I]_2342-matt mutter to [myself]_2342-matt , grabbing [my]_2342-matt tan belt , heels and laptop . [I]_2342-matt make [my]_2342-matt way [downstairs]_{2323-downstairs} , finding [Kate]_2557-kate in [her]_2557-kate workshop spooning cake mixture into various tins . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_273-you need to tidy [that room]_{274-that room} , [Ava]_832-ava . It ’s a fucking mess . ’ [she]_2557-kate complains . Yes , [my]_{275-an interior designer} personal organisation skills are pretty shocking , especially since [I]_{275-an interior designer} ’m_{[275-an interior designer]} [an interior designer]_{275-an interior designer} , who spends all day coordinating and organising . [I]_2342-matt scoop [my]_2342-matt phone up from the chunky table and dunk [my]_2342-matt finger in [Kate]_2557-kate ’s cake mixture . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ca n’t be brilliant at everything . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Get out ! ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate bats [my]_2342-matt hand away with [her]_2557-kate spoon . ‘ Why do [you]_273-you need [[your]_273-you car]_{2324-your car} , anyway ? ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate asks , leaning down to smooth the mixture over , [her]_2557-kate tongue resting on [her]_2557-kate bottom lip in concentration . ‘ [I]_2342-matt have a first consultation in The [Surrey Hills]_{1-surrey hills} – [some country mansion]_{2325-some country mansion} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt feed [my]_2342-matt belt through the belt loops of [my]_2342-matt navy pencil dress , slip [my]_2342-matt feet into [my]_2342-matt tan heels and present [myself]_2342-matt to the wall mirror . ‘ [I]_2557-kate thought [you]_2557-kate stuck to [the city]_{2326-the city} ? ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate asks from behind [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ruffle [my]_2342-matt long , dark hair for a few seconds , flicking it from one side to another but give up , piling it up with a few grips instead . [My]_2342-matt dark brown eyes look tired and lack [their]_276-their usual sparkle . A result , no doubt , of burning the candle at both ends . [I]_2342-matt only moved in with [Kate]_2557-kate a month ago after splitting with [Matt]_2342-matt . [We]_277-we ’re behaving like [a couple of university students]_{2327-a couple of university students} . [My]_2342-matt liver is screaming for a rest . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do . [The country sector]_{278-the country sector} is [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s domain . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know how [I]_2342-matt got landed with this . ’ [I]_2342-matt sweep the wand of [my]_2342-matt gloss across [my]_2342-matt lips and smack them together . ‘_[2342-matt] One is not partial to old English and all things proper . ’ [I]_2342-matt give [Kate]_2557-kate a kiss on the cheek . ‘_[2342-matt] It ’s going to be painful , [I]_2342-matt know it . [Luv]_57-luv [ya]_57-luv ! ’ ‘_[58-ditto] [Ditto]_58-ditto , see [you]_57-luv later . ’ [Kate]_2557-kate laughs , without lifting [her]_2557-kate face from [[her]_2557-kate work station]_{2328-her work station} . ‘_[58-ditto] Do n’t forget [your]_57-luv P ’s and [Q]_59-q ’s ! ’ Despite [my]_58-ditto lateness , [I]_58-ditto drive [my]_58-ditto little Mini with [my]_58-ditto usual care and consideration to [[my]_58-ditto office on [Bruton Street]_{2-bruton street}]_{279-the office} . [I]_58-ditto ’m_[58-ditto] reminded why [I]_2342-matt tube it every day when [I]_2342-matt spend ten minutes driving around looking for a parking space . [I]_2342-matt burst into [the office]_{279-the office} and glance at the clock . Eight forty . Okay , [I]_2342-matt ’m ten minutes late , not as bad as [I]_2342-matt thought . [I]_2342-matt pass [Tom]_60-tom and [Victoria]_54-victoria ’s empty desks on the way to [my]_2342-matt own , spying [Patrick]_327-jesse in [[his]_327-jesse office]_{279-the office} as [I]_2342-matt land in [my]_2342-matt chair . Unpacking [my]_2342-matt laptop , [I]_2342-matt notice a package has been left for [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Morning , flower . ’ [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s low boom greets [me]_2342-matt as [he]_327-jesse perches on the edge of [my]_2342-matt desk , followed by the customary creak under [his]_327-jesse weight . ‘_[2342-matt] What have [you]_280-you got there ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Morning , it ’s the new fabric range from [Miller]_62-miller ’s . [You]_280-you Like ? ’ [I]_280-you stroke some of the luxurious material . ‘_[280-you] Wonderful , ’ [he]_327-jesse feigns interest . ‘_[280-you] Do n’t let [Irene]_363-irene clap [her]_363-irene eyes on it . [I]_2342-matt ’ve just liquidated most of [my]_2342-matt assets to fund the new soft furnishings at [home]_281-home . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , ’ [I]_2342-matt give [him]_327-jesse a sympathetic face . ‘_[2342-matt] Where is [everyone]_282-everyone ? ’ ‘_{[54-victoria]} [Victoria]_54-victoria has the day off and [Tom]_60-tom ’s having a nightmare with [Mr & Mrs Baines]_{64-mrs baines} . It ’s just [you]_280-you , [me]_2342-matt and [Sal]_54-victoria today , flower . ’ [He]_327-jesse takes [his]_327-jesse comb out of [his]_327-jesse inside pocket and runs it through [his]_327-jesse silver mop . ‘_[280-you] [I]_2342-matt ’ve got a midday appointment at [The Manor]_{3-the manor} , ’ [I]_2342-matt remind [him]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse ca n’t have forgotten . Country pads are supposed to be [his]_327-jesse realm . ‘_[2342-matt] Why am [I]_2342-matt going , [Patrick]_327-jesse ? ’ [I]_327-jesse have to ask . [I]_327-jesse ’ve never worked on [a country property]_{2329-a country property} before , and [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] not sure [I]_2342-matt have the insight for old fashioned and traditional . [I]_2342-matt ’ve worked for [Rococo Union]_{8-rococo union} for four years , and it was made clear that [I]_2342-matt was employed to expand the business into [the modern sector]_{283-the modern sector} . With [luxury apartments]_{284-luxury apartments} flying up all over [London]_5-london , [Patrick]_327-jesse and [Tom]_60-tom , with [their]_{284-luxury apartments} speciality of traditional design , were missing out . When it took off and the work load got too much for [me]_2342-matt , [he]_327-jesse employed [Victoria]_54-victoria . ‘ That would be because [they]_285-they asked for [you]_60-tom , flower . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse pushes [himself]_327-jesse to [his]_327-jesse feet , [my]_2342-matt desk creaking in protest again . [Patrick]_327-jesse ignores it , but [I]_2342-matt wince . [He]_327-jesse has to lose some weight or stop sitting on [my]_2342-matt desk . It wo n’t take the strain for much longer . So , [they]_285-they asked for [me]_2342-matt ? Why ever would [they]_285-they do that ? [My]_2342-matt portfolio holds nothing that will reflect traditional design – nothing at all . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help but think that this is a complete waste of [my]_2342-matt time . [Patrick]_327-jesse or [Tom]_60-tom should be going . ‘ Oh , [Lusso]_66-lusso launch , ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse tucks [his]_327-jesse comb away . ‘ [The developer]_{2330-the developer} is really pushing [the boat]_{2331-the boat} out with this party in [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} . [You]_327-jesse ’ve done an amazing job , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s eyebrows nod with [his]_327-jesse head . [I]_2342-matt blush . ‘ Thank [you]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m dead proud of [myself]_2342-matt and [my]_2342-matt work at [Lusso]_66-lusso , [my]_2342-matt greatest achievement in [my]_2342-matt short career . Based on [St Katharine Docks]_{6-st katharine docks} and with prices ranging from three million for [a basic apartment to ten million for [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse}]_{2333-a basic apartment to ten million for the penthouse} , [we]_2334-we ’re_[2342-matt] in [the super rich realm]_{286-the super rich realm} . The design specification is as the name suggests : Italian luxury . [I]_2342-matt sourced all materials , furniture and art from [Italy]_7-italy and enjoyed a week there organising the shipping schedule . Next Friday is the launch party , but [I]_2342-matt know [they]_287-they ’ve already sold [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} and [six other apartments]_{289-six other apartments} , so it ’s more of a showing off party . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ve cleared [my]_2342-matt diary so [I]_2342-matt can do the final checks once the cleaners are out . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt flick the pages of [my]_2342-matt diary to next Friday and scribble across the page again . ‘ [Good girl]_{2335-good girl} , [I]_2342-matt ’ve told [Victoria]_54-victoria to be there at five . It ’s [her]_{2335-good girl} first launch so [you]_{2335-good girl} need to give [her]_{2335-good girl} a heads up . [I]_2342-matt ’ll be there at seven with [Tom]_60-tom . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Sure . ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse returns to [[his]_327-jesse office]_{279-the office} , and [I]_2342-matt open [my]_2342-matt email , sifting through to delete or respond where necessary . At eleven o’clock , [I]_2342-matt pack [my]_2342-matt laptop up and poke [my]_2342-matt head around [[Patrick]_327-jesse ’s office]_{279-the office} door . [He]_327-jesse ’s engrossed with something on [his]_327-jesse computer . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] off now . ’ [I]_54-victoria say , but [he]_327-jesse just waves [his]_327-jesse hand in the air in acknowledgment . [I]_54-victoria walk through [the office]_{279-the office} to see [Sally]_54-victoria fighting with the photocopier . ‘_{[54-victoria]} See [you]_291-you later , [Sal]_54-victoria . ’ ‘_[832-ava] Bye , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [she]_832-ava replies , but [she]_832-ava ’s too busy removing the paper jam to acknowledge [me]_832-ava with [her]_832-ava face . [The girl]_832-ava ’s a calamity . [I]_832-ava walk out into the May sunshine and head for [[my]_832-ava car]_{2336-my car} . Friday mid - morning traffic is a nightmare , but once [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] out of [the city]_{2326-the city} , the drive onwards is pretty straightforward . The roof is down , [Adele]_67-adele is keeping [me]_2342-matt company and it ’s Friday . A little drive in [the countryside]_{293-the countryside} is a lovely way to finish [my]_2342-matt working week . [My]_2342-matt sat - nav instructs [me]_2342-matt to pull off of [the main road]_{294-the main road} and onto [a little lane]_{295-a little lane} , where [I]_2342-matt find [myself]_2342-matt in front of [the biggest pair of gates [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever seen]_{296-the biggest pair of gates i ’ve ever seen} . A gold plaque on a pillar states “ [The Manor ”]_{297-the manor ”} . Bloody hell ! [I]_2342-matt take [my]_2342-matt sunglasses off , looking past the gates and down [the gravel road]_{298-the lane} that seems to go for miles . There ’s no sign of [a house]_{299-a house} , just a tree lined road that [I]_2342-matt ca n’t see the end of . [I]_2342-matt get out of [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} and walk up to the gates , giving [them]_{296-the biggest pair of gates i ’ve ever seen} a little jiggle , but [they]_{296-the biggest pair of gates i ’ve ever seen} do n’t budge . [I]_2342-matt stand for a few moments , wondering what to do . ‘ [You]_2337-you need to press the intercom . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt nearly jump out of [my]_2342-matt skin when the low rumble of a voice comes from nowhere , stabbing at the silent country air . [I]_2342-matt look around [me]_2342-matt , but [I]_2342-matt ’m definitely on [my]_2342-matt own . ‘_[2342-matt] Hello ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Over here . ’ [I]_2342-matt do a full three sixty turn and see the intercom further down [the lane]_{298-the lane} . [I]_2342-matt drove straight past [it]_{298-the lane} . [I]_2342-matt run over , pressing the button to announce [myself]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [Ava O’Shea]_832-ava , [Rococo Union]_{8-rococo union} . ’ ‘_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt know . ’ [He]_2338-he does ? How ? [I]_832-ava look around and spot a camera installed on the gate , then the shift of metal breaks the countryside peace around [me]_832-ava . [The gates]_{2339-the gates} start opening . ‘_[832-ava] Give [me]_2342-matt a chance . ’ [I]_832-ava mutter as [I]_832-ava run back to [[my]_832-ava car]_{2336-my car} . [I]_832-ava jump in [[my]_832-ava Mini]_{2336-my car} and creep forward as the gates swing open , all the time wondering how [I]_832-ava ’ll remove the glass of port and cigar that are , quite clearly , wedged up that miserable sod ’s arse . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] looking less forward to this appointment by the minute . Posh country folk and [[their]_301-their posh country mansions]_{302-their posh country mansions} are not in [[my]_2342-matt area of expertise]_{303-my area of expertise} . Once the gates are fully opened , [I]_2342-matt drive through and continue on the tree lined , gravel driveway that seems to go on forever . With mature Elm trees lying on either side of [the lane]_{298-the lane} at regular and even intervals , [you]_305-you would think [they]_306-they had been strategically placed to conceal what lies beyond . After a mile or so of sheltered driving , [I]_2342-matt pull into [a perfectly round courtyard]_{307-the courtyard} . [I]_2342-matt take [my]_2342-matt sunglasses off and gape at [the huge house that looms centrally]_{308-the place} and demands attention . It ’s superb , but [I]_2342-matt ’m even more apprehensive now . [My]_327-jesse enthusiasm for this appointment is dampening further by the minute . The black doors – adorned with highly polished gold furniture – are flanked by four giant bay windows , with pillars in carved stone guarding [them]_{302-their posh country mansions} . Giant limestone blocks make up the structure of [the mansion]_{308-the place} , with lush bay trees lining the face . The fountain in the centre of [the courtyard]_{307-the courtyard} , spraying out jets of illuminated water , tops the sight off . It ’s all very imposing . [I]_327-jesse stop , cut the engine and fumble with the door release to get out of [[my]_327-jesse car]_{2336-my car} . Standing and holding on to the top of [my]_327-jesse car door , [I]_327-jesse look up at [the magnificent building]_{308-the place} and immediately think that this has to be a mistake . [The place]_{308-the place} is in amazing condition . The lawns are greener than green , [the house]_{308-the place} looks like it receives daily scrub downs and even the gravel looks like it receives a daily hoover . If the exterior is anything to go by , then [I]_327-jesse ca n’t imagine the inside needing any work . [I]_327-jesse look up at the dozens of sash bay windows , seeing plush curtains hanging at them all . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] tempted to call [Patrick]_327-jesse to check [I]_2342-matt ’ve got the right address , but it did say The Manor on the gates . And that miserable sod on the other end of the intercom was obviously expecting [me]_2342-matt . While [I]_2342-matt ’m pondering [my]_309-i next move , the doors open , revealing [the biggest black man [I]_309-i ’ve ever seen]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt saunters out to the top of the steps . [I]_309-i physically flinch at the sight of [him]_2342-matt , stepping back slightly . [He]_2342-matt has a black suit on – specially made for sure because that ’s no regular size – a black shirt and a black tie . [His]_2342-matt shaven head looks like it ’s been buffed to a shine , and wraparound sunglasses conceal [his]_2342-matt face . If [I]_309-i could build a mental image of who [I]_309-i would have expected to walk out of [them]_2343-them doors , [he]_2342-matt , most definitely , would not be it . [The man]_2342-matt is [a mountain]_2342-matt , and [I]_309-i know [I]_309-i ’m_[309-i] stood here gawking at [him]_309-i . [I]_2342-matt ’m suddenly slightly concerned that [I]_832-ava ’ve turned up at [some mafia control centre]_{2344-some mafia control centre} , and [I]_832-ava search [my]_832-ava brain trying to remember if [I]_832-ava transferred [my]_832-ava rape alarm to [my]_832-ava new handbag . ‘_[832-ava] [Miss O’Shea]_832-ava ? ’ [he]_2342-matt drawls . [I]_832-ava wilt under [his]_2342-matt massive presence , putting [my]_832-ava hand up in a nervous wave gesture . ‘_[832-ava] Hi . ’ [I]_832-ava whisper , [my]_832-ava voice laced with all of the apprehension [I]_832-ava truly feel . ‘_[832-ava] This way . ’ [he]_2342-matt rumbles deeply , giving a sharp nod of [his]_2342-matt head and turning to walk back into [the mansion]_{308-the place} . [I]_832-ava deliberate on cutting and running , but the daring and dangerous side of [me]_832-ava is curious of what lays beyond those doors . [He]_2342-matt ’s [no butler]_{2346-no butler} . [I]_832-ava grab [my]_832-ava bag , shut [my]_832-ava car door and check for [my]_832-ava rape alarm as [I]_832-ava walk towards [the house]_{308-the place} , only to find [I]_832-ava ’ve left it in [my]_832-ava other bag . [I]_832-ava carry on anyway . Pure curiosity has [me]_832-ava walking up the steps and crossing the threshold into [a huge entrance hall]_{2347-a huge entrance hall} . [I]_832-ava gaze around [the vast area]_{308-the place} , and [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] immediately impressed by [the grand , centrally position , curved staircase that leads up to the first floor]_{308-the place} . [My]_2342-matt fears are confirmed . [This place]_{308-the place} is immaculate . The décor is opulent , lush and very intimidating . Deep blues , taupe ’s with hints of gold and original woodwork , along with the rich mahogany parquet floor , makes [the place]_{308-the place} striking and massively extravagant . It ’s exactly how [I]_2342-matt would have expected it to be and nowhere near [my]_2342-matt design style . But then again , looking around , why [any interior designer]_{311-any interior designer} would be here is becoming more and more confusing . [Patrick]_327-jesse said [they]_312-they requested [me]_2342-matt personally , so [I]_2342-matt would be inclined to think that [they]_312-they want to modernise [the place]_{308-the place} , but that would ’ve been before [I]_2342-matt got a glimpse of the exterior and now the interior too . The décor suits [the period building]_{313-the period building} . It ’s in perfect condition . Why the hell am [I]_2342-matt [here]_314-here ? [Big guy]_{315-big guy} heads off to the right , leaving [me]_2342-matt to scuttle off after [him]_{315-big guy} . [My]_2342-matt tan heels clink on the parquet floor as [he]_{315-big guy} leads [me]_2342-matt past [the central staircase]_{316-the central staircase} , towards the back of [the Mansion]_{308-the place} . [I]_2342-matt hear the hum of conversation and glance to [my]_2342-matt right , noticing [many people]_{318-many people} sat at various tables eating , drinking and chatting . [Waiters]_319-waiters are serving food and drinks , and the distinct voices of [The Rat Pack]_{320-the rat pack} are purring in the background . [I]_2342-matt frown , but then [I]_2342-matt click . It ’s [a hotel]_{321-a hotel} – [a posh country hotel]_{321-a hotel} . [My]_2342-matt shoulders sag slightly in relief at concluding this , but it still does n’t explain why [I]_2342-matt ’m here . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] lead past [some toilets]_{322-some toilets} and then a bar . [A few men]_{323-a few men} are sat on bar stools cracking jokes and teasing [a young woman]_{324-a young woman} , who has , apparently , returned from the lavatory with toilet roll stuck to [her]_{324-a young woman} heel . [She]_{324-a young woman} playfully slaps the main instigator on the shoulder , scolding [him]_{324-a young woman} while laughing along with [them]_{323-a few men} . This is all beginning to make sense to [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt want to say something to the mountain of [a man leading [me]_2342-matt]_{325-a man leading me} , [God]_68-god only knows where , but [he]_68-god has n’t looked back once to check [I]_2342-matt ’m following . Although , the clink of [my]_68-god heels tells [him]_68-god [I]_68-god am . [He]_68-god does n’t say much , and [I]_68-god suspect [he]_68-god would n’t answer [me]_68-god if [I]_68-god did speak . [We]_2348-we continue past two more closed doors . Judging by the clanking of pots , [I]_68-god assume one to be [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . Then [he]_68-god leads [me]_68-god into [a summer room]_{2350-the room} – a massive , light , stunningly lavish space that ’s sectioned off into individual seating areas by the positioning of sofa ’s , big arm chairs and tables . Floor to ceiling bi - fold doors span the complete face of [the room]_{2350-the room} , leading to [a yorkstone patio]_{2351-a yorkstone patio} and a vast lawn area . It ’s really quite awe inspiring . [I]_68-god inwardly gasp when [I]_68-god spot [a glass building housing a swimming pool]_{2352-a glass building housing a swimming pool} . It ’s incredible . [I]_68-god shudder to think how much the nightly rate is . It has to be five stars – probably more . Once [we]_2348-we ’ve passed through [the summer room]_{2350-the room} , [I]_68-god ’m_[68-god] lead down [a corridor]_{2350-the room} until [big guy]_327-jesse stops outside a wooden panelled door . ‘ [[Mr Ward]_327-jesse ’s office]_{2353-mr ward ’s office} . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse rumbles , knocking the door , surprisingly gently given [his]_327-jesse mammoth size . ‘ [The Manager]_{2354-the owner} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . ‘ [The Owner]_{2354-the owner} , ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse replies , opening the door and striding through . ‘ Come in . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt hesitate on the threshold , watching as [the big guy]_327-jesse strides into [the room]_{2350-the room} ahead of [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt eventually force [my]_2342-matt feet into action , moving into [the room]_{2350-the room} , while gazing around at [the equally luxurious surroundings of [[Mr Ward]_327-jesse ’s office]_{2353-mr ward ’s office}]_{328-the equally luxurious surroundings of mr ward ’s office} . Chapter 2 ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse , [Miss O’Shea]_832-ava , [Rococo Union]_{8-rococo union} . ’_[327-jesse] [Big guy]_327-jesse announces . ‘ Perfect . Thanks , [John]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt ’m dragged from [my]_2342-matt awed like state , straight into high alert . [My]_2342-matt back straightens . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t see [him]_327-jesse , [he]_327-jesse ’s obscured by [the big guy]_327-jesse ’s massive frame , but that raspy , smooth voice has [me]_2342-matt frozen on the spot , and it certainly does n’t sound like it ’s coming from a cigar smoking , overweight , wax jacket wearing [Lord of [the Manor]_{2356-the manor}]_{2355-lord of the manor} . [Big guy]_327-jesse , or [John]_832-ava as [I]_2342-matt now know [him]_832-ava , moves to the side , giving [me]_2342-matt [my]_2342-matt first glimpse of [Mr Jesse Ward]_327-jesse . Oh good God . [My]_2342-matt heart crashes against [my]_2342-matt breast bone and [my]_2342-matt nervous breathing rockets to damn right dangerous levels . [I]_2342-matt suddenly feel light headed , and [my]_2342-matt mouth is ignoring [my]_2342-matt brains instructions to at least say something . [I]_2342-matt just stand there staring at [this man]_327-jesse , while [he]_327-jesse stares back at [me]_2342-matt . [His]_327-jesse husky voice halted [me]_2342-matt in [my]_2342-matt tracks , but the sight of [him]_327-jesse … well , that ’s just turned [me]_2342-matt into a non - responsive , quivering wreck . [He]_327-jesse rises from [his]_327-jesse chair , [my]_2342-matt gaze traveling up with [him]_327-jesse until [he]_327-jesse ’s stood at full height . [He]_327-jesse ’s very tall . [His]_327-jesse white shirt is casually rolled at the sleeves , but [he]_327-jesse still wears a black tie , loosely knotted and hanging down the front of a broad chest . [He]_327-jesse makes [his]_327-jesse way around [his]_327-jesse massive desk and slowly walks towards [me]_2342-matt . It ’s then that [I]_2342-matt take in the full impact of [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt gulp . [This man]_327-jesse is so perfect , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] almost in pain . [His]_330-he dirty blonde hair looks like [he]_330-he ’s half attempted to get it into some semblance of a style but given up . [His]_330-he eyes are sludgy green , but bright and way too intense , and the stubble covering [his]_330-he square jaw does nothing to conceal the handsome features beneath it . [He]_330-he ’s lightly tanned and just … Oh God , [he]_330-he ’s devastating . [Lord of [the Manor]_{2356-the manor}]_{2355-lord of the manor} ? ‘ [Miss O’Shea]_832-ava . ’_{[2355-lord of the manor]} [His]_{2355-lord of the manor} hand comes toward [me]_2342-matt , but [I]_2342-matt ca n’t persuade [my]_2342-matt arm to raise and clasp [his]_{2355-lord of the manor} outstretched offering . [He]_330-he ’s beautiful . When [I]_2342-matt do n’t offer [my]_2342-matt hand , [he]_330-he reaches forward and clasps both of [my]_2342-matt shoulders , then slowly leans in to kiss [me]_2342-matt , [his]_330-he lips brushing lightly over [my]_2342-matt burning cheek . [I]_2342-matt tense all over . [I]_2342-matt can hear [my]_2342-matt pulse throbbing in [my]_2342-matt ears , and even though it ’s completely inappropriate for a business meeting , [I]_2342-matt do nothing to stop [him]_330-he . [I]_2342-matt ’m all over [the place]_{308-the place} . ‘_[2342-matt] It ’s a pleasure , ’ [he]_330-he whispers in [my]_2342-matt ear , which only serves to make [me]_2342-matt moan slightly . [He]_330-he must feel [my]_2342-matt tenseness – it ’s not difficult , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] rigid – because [his]_330-he grip eases up and [he]_330-he lowers [his]_330-he face to [my]_2342-matt level , looking [me]_2342-matt directly in the eyes . ‘ Are [you]_330-he okay ? ’_[330-he] [he]_330-he asks , one side of [his]_330-he mouth lifting into a semblance of a smile . [I]_2342-matt notice a single frown line across [his]_330-he forehead . [I]_2342-matt snap [myself]_2342-matt out of [my]_2342-matt ridiculous inertness , suddenly aware that [I]_2342-matt ’ve still not said anything . Has [he]_330-he noticed [my]_2342-matt reaction to [him]_330-he ? What about [big guy]_327-jesse ? [I]_2342-matt glance over , seeing [the big guy]_327-jesse stood motionless , glasses still in place , but [I]_2342-matt know [his]_327-jesse eyes are on [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt mentally shake [myself]_2342-matt and step back , away from [Ward]_327-jesse and [his]_327-jesse potent grasp . [His]_327-jesse hands fall to [his]_327-jesse side . ‘ Hi , ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt cough to clear [my]_2342-matt throat . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava . [My]_2342-matt name is [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt offer [him]_327-jesse [my]_2342-matt hand , but [he]_327-jesse ’s unhurried in accepting it , like [he]_327-jesse ’s unsure whether it ’s safe to , but [he]_327-jesse does … eventually . [His]_327-jesse hand is clammy and slightly shaky as [he]_327-jesse squeezes [mine]_2342-matt firmly . Sparks fizz and a curious look flits across [his]_327-jesse stunning face . [We]_334-we both retract [our]_334-we hands in shock . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse ’s trying [my]_2342-matt name on [his]_327-jesse lips , and it takes all of [my]_2342-matt strength not to moan again . [He]_327-jesse should stop talking – immediately . ‘ Yes , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt confirm . [He]_327-jesse ’s [the one who seems to be off in [his]_327-jesse own little nirvana now , while [I]_2342-matt ’m becoming increasingly aware of [my]_832-ava rising temperature]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse suddenly seems to come to [his]_327-jesse senses , shoving [his]_327-jesse hands in [his]_327-jesse trouser pockets as [he]_327-jesse shakes [his]_327-jesse head slightly , retreating backwards . ‘_[832-ava] Thanks , [John]_832-ava . ’ [he]_327-jesse nods to [the big guy]_2342-matt , who smiles slightly , softening [his]_327-jesse hard features , then leaves . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] alone with [this man]_2342-matt , who has rendered [me]_2342-matt speechless , motionless and pretty much useless . [He]_2342-matt nods towards two brown leather couches , positioned opposite each other in the bay window , with a large coffee table sitting between [them]_336-them . ‘ Please , take a seat . Can [I]_2342-matt get [you]_832-ava a drink ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt drags [his]_2342-matt gaze from [mine]_2342-matt , walking towards a cabinet with various bottles of liquor lined up on top . [He]_2342-matt surely does n’t mean alcohol ? It ’s midday . Even by [my]_2342-matt standards it ’s too early . [I]_2342-matt watch as [he]_2342-matt hovers at the cabinet for a few moments before turning to face [me]_2342-matt again , looking at [me]_2342-matt expectantly . ‘ No , thank [you]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head as [I]_2342-matt speak , just in case the words do n’t come out . ‘ Water ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks , that smile playing at the corners of [his]_2342-matt mouth . Oh God , do n’t look at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Please . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile a nervous smile . [My]_2342-matt mouth is parched . [He]_2342-matt collects two bottles of water from the integrated fridge and turns back towards [me]_2342-matt . It ’s then that [I]_2342-matt persuade [my]_2342-matt shaky legs to carry [me]_2342-matt across [the room]_{2350-the room} to the sofa . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt voice rolls across [me]_2342-matt , causing [me]_2342-matt to falter en - route . [I]_2342-matt turn to face [him]_2342-matt . It ’s probably a bad idea . ‘ Yes ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt holds up a highball . ‘ Glass ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , please . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile . [He]_2342-matt must think [I]_2342-matt ’m so unprofessional . [I]_2342-matt settle [myself]_2342-matt on the leather couch , retrieve [my]_2342-matt folder and phone from [my]_2342-matt bag and place them on the table in front of [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt notice [my]_2342-matt hands shaking . [Christ]_72-jesus , [woman]_72-jesus . Get a grip ! [I]_2342-matt feign making notes as [he]_2342-matt strolls back over , placing [my]_2342-matt water and a glass on the table . [He]_2342-matt sits down on the sofa opposite and crosses one leg over the other , [his]_2342-matt ankle resting on [his]_2342-matt thigh . [He]_2342-matt stretches back . [He]_2342-matt ’s really making [himself]_2342-matt comfortable , and the silence that falls between [us]_338-i is screaming as [I]_2342-matt write anything and everything to avoid looking up at [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to look at [the man]_2342-matt and say something at some point , but all standard enquiry questions have run , screaming and shouting , from [my]_2342-matt brain . ‘_[2342-matt] So , where do [we]_338-i start ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks , forcing [me]_338-i look up and acknowledge [his]_2342-matt question . [He]_2342-matt smiles . [I]_338-i swoon . [He]_2342-matt ’s watching [me]_338-i over the rim of [his]_2342-matt bottle as [he]_2342-matt raises it to those lovely lips . [I]_338-i break the eye contact , reaching forward to pour some water into [my]_338-i glass . [I]_338-i ’m_[338-i] struggling to reign in [my]_2342-matt nerves , and [I]_2342-matt can still feel [his]_339-his eyes on [me]_2342-matt . This is truly awkward . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never been so affected by [a man]_{340-a man} . ‘ [I]_2342-matt guess [you]_{340-a man} should tell [me]_2342-matt why [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] here . ’ [I]_2342-matt speak ! [I]_2342-matt look back up at [him]_{340-a man} as [I]_2342-matt take [my]_2342-matt glass from the table . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh ? ’ [he]_{340-a man} says quietly . There ’s that frown line again . Even with that , [he]_{340-a man} ’s still beautiful . ‘_[341-you] [You]_341-you requested [me]_2342-matt by name ? ’ [I]_341-you press . ‘_[341-you] Yes . ’ [he]_{340-a man} replies simply . [He]_{340-a man} smiles again . [I]_341-you have to look away . [I]_341-you take a sip of [my]_341-you water to moisten [my]_341-you dry mouth , and clear [my]_341-you throat before returning [my]_341-you gaze to [his]_{340-a man} potent stare . ‘_[341-you] So , can [I]_2342-matt ask why ? ’ ‘_[341-you] [You]_341-you can . ’ [He]_{340-a man} uncrosses [his]_{340-a man} leg , leaning forward to place [his]_{340-a man} bottle on the table , resting [his]_{340-a man} forearms on [his]_{340-a man} knees , but [he]_{340-a man} says no more . Is [he]_{340-a man} not going to elaborate on that ? ‘_[341-you] Okay , ’ [I]_341-you struggle to maintain eye contact . ‘_[341-you] Why ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve heard great things about [you]_341-you . ’ [I]_2342-matt feel [my]_2342-matt face burning up . ‘_[2342-matt] Thank [you]_341-you . So , why am [I]_2342-matt [here]_310-whoever ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Well , to design . ’ [He]_{340-a man} laughs , and [I]_2342-matt feel stupid but slightly irritated as well . Is [he]_{340-a man} making fun of [me]_2342-matt ? ‘_[2342-matt] Design what exactly ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . ‘_[2342-matt] From what [I]_2342-matt ’ve seen , everything is pretty perfect . ’ [He]_{340-a man} surely does n’t want to modernise [this lovely place]_310-whoever . It may not be [my]_2342-matt forte , but [I]_2342-matt know class when [I]_2342-matt see it . ‘_[2342-matt] Thank [you]_341-you , ’ [he]_{340-a man} says softly . ‘_[341-you] Do [you]_341-you have [your]_341-you portfolio with [you]_341-you ? ’ ‘_[341-you] Of course , ’ [I]_341-you reply , reaching into [my]_341-you bag . Why [he]_{340-a man} wants to look at it is beyond [me]_341-you . It wo n’t reflect anything like [this place]_310-whoever . [I]_341-you place it on the table in front of [him]_{340-a man} and expect [him]_{340-a man} to drag it over to [his]_{340-a man} side , but to [my]_341-you horror , [he]_{340-a man} stands in one fluid movement and walks around to [me]_341-you , lowering [his]_{340-a man} lovely lean body onto the sofa next to [me]_341-you . Oh , [Jesus]_72-jesus . [He]_341-you smells divine – all fresh water and minty . [I]_341-you hold [my]_341-you breath . Leaning forward , [he]_341-you opens the folder . ‘_[341-you] [You]_341-you ’re very young to be such [an accomplished designer]_{2358-an accomplished designer} . ’_[341-you] [he]_341-you muses , slowly turning the pages of [my]_2342-matt portfolio . [He]_341-you ’s right , [I]_2342-matt am . It ’s only thanks to [Patrick]_327-jesse for giving [me]_2342-matt free reign on the expansion of [his]_327-jesse business . In four years , [I]_2342-matt ’ve fallen out of [college]_343-college , picked up a job in [an established design company]_{344-an established design company} – that had the financial stability but lacked the new freshness in modern ideas – and made a name for [myself]_2342-matt on the back of it . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been lucky , and [I]_2342-matt appreciate [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s faith in [my]_2342-matt capabilities . That , coupled with [my]_2342-matt contract at [Lusso]_66-lusso , is the only reason [I]_2342-matt ’m where [I]_2342-matt am at the age of twenty six . [I]_2342-matt look down at [his]_327-jesse lovely hand , [his]_327-jesse wrist adorned in a beautiful gold and graphite Rolex . ‘_[2342-matt] How old are [you]_345-i ? ’ [I]_345-i blurt . Oh , good God . [My]_345-i brain is like scrambled egg , and [I]_345-i know [I]_345-i ’ve just blushed a sharp shade of red . [I]_345-i should just keep [my]_345-i mouth shut . Where the hell did that come from ? [He]_345-i looks at [me]_345-i intently , [his]_345-i green eyes burning into [mine]_345-i . ‘_[345-i] Twenty one . ’ [he]_345-i answers , completely pokerfaced . [I]_345-i scoff mildly , and [his]_345-i eyebrows jump up questioningly . ‘_[345-i] Sorry . ’ [I]_345-i mutter , turning back to the table . [I]_345-i ’m_[345-i] feeling flustered . [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_345-i exhale heavily as [his]_345-i lovely hand reaches back down to [my]_2342-matt portfolio to start turning the pages again , [his]_345-i left hand resting on the edge of the table . [I]_2342-matt notice no ring . [He]_345-i ’s not married ? How can that be ? ‘ This , [I]_345-i like a lot . ’_[345-i] [He]_345-i points to the photographs of [Lusso]_66-lusso . ‘ [I]_345-i ’m_[345-i] not sure [my]_2342-matt works on [Lusso]_66-lusso would fit in here . ’ [I]_346-you say quietly . It ’s way too modern – luxurious , yes , but too modern . [He]_345-i looks up at [me]_346-you . ‘_[346-you] [You]_346-you ’re right , [I]_346-you ’m_[346-you] just saying … [I]_2342-matt really like it . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Thank [you]_346-you . ’ [I]_2342-matt feel [my]_2342-matt colour deepen as [he]_345-i studies [me]_2342-matt thoughtfully before returning to [my]_2342-matt portfolio . [I]_2342-matt make a grab for [my]_2342-matt water , resisting the temptation to chuck it down [my]_2342-matt front to cool [me]_2342-matt off , but very nearly do when [his]_345-i trouser clad thigh brushes against [my]_2342-matt bare knee . [I]_2342-matt shift quickly to break the contact , glancing out the corner of [my]_2342-matt eye to see a small smirk breaking at the edge of [his]_347-he mouth . [He]_347-he ’s doing this on purpose . It ’s too much . ‘_[2342-matt] Do [you]_346-you have a toilet ? ’ [I]_347-he ask as [I]_347-he place [my]_347-he glass back on the table and stand . [I]_347-he need to go and compose [myself]_347-he . [I]_347-he ’m_[347-he] a ruffled mess . [He]_347-he rises from the couch swiftly , moving back to let [me]_2342-matt pass . ‘ Through [the summer room]_{2350-the room} and on [your]_346-you left . ’_[347-he] [he]_347-he says with a smile . [He]_347-he knows [he]_347-he ’s affecting [me]_2342-matt . The way [he]_347-he ’s smiling at [me]_2342-matt , knowingly , [I]_2342-matt bet [he]_347-he has this sort of reaction from [women]_348-women all of the time . ‘ Thank [you]_346-you . ’_[347-he] [I]_2342-matt edge out of the small gape between the table and the sofa , [my]_2342-matt task hampered as [he]_347-he makes no attempt to give [me]_2342-matt more space . [I]_2342-matt have to virtually brush past [him]_347-he , and that has [me]_2342-matt holding [my]_2342-matt breath until [I]_2342-matt ’m clear of [his]_347-he body . [I]_832-ava walk towards the door . [His]_347-he eyes are on [me]_832-ava ; [I]_832-ava can feel them burning a hole through [my]_832-ava dress . [I]_832-ava roll [my]_832-ava neck to try and rid [myself]_832-ava of the goose bumps jumping onto [my]_832-ava nape . Stumbling out of [[his]_347-he office]_{279-the office} , [I]_832-ava head down [the corridor]_{2350-the room} before wandering through [the summer room]_{2350-the room} and staggering into the ridiculously posh lavatories . [I]_832-ava brace [myself]_832-ava over the sink and look in the mirror . ‘_[832-ava] Jesus , [Ava]_832-ava . Pull it together ! ’ [I]_{349-the lord} scorn [my]_{349-the lord} reflection . ‘_{[349-the lord]} Met [the Lord]_{349-the lord} , have [we]_350-we ? ’ [I]_{349-the lord} swing around and find [a very attractive business lady]_{349-the lord} , faffing with [her]_{349-the lord} hair at the other end of [the room]_{2350-the room} . [I]_{349-the lord} have no idea what to say , but [she]_{349-the lord} ’s just confirmed what [I]_{349-the lord} already suspected – [he]_347-he does have this affect on [all women]_{2362-all women} . When [my]_{349-the lord} brain fails to deliver on anything suitable to say , [I]_{349-the lord} just smile . [She]_{349-the lord} returns [my]_{349-the lord} smile , amused and knowing of the reason for [my]_{349-the lord} flustered state , before disappearing from [the toilets]_{2363-the toilets} . If [I]_{349-the lord} was n’t feeling so hot and nervous , [I]_{349-the lord} might be embarrassed at [my]_{349-the lord} obvious condition . But [I]_{349-the lord} am hot , and [I]_{349-the lord} ’m_{[349-the lord]} very nervous , so [I]_2342-matt brush off [my]_2342-matt humiliation , take some steady breaths and wash [my]_2342-matt clammy hands with the Noble Isle hand wash . [I]_2342-matt should have brought [my]_2342-matt bag . [I]_2342-matt could do with some Vaseline on [my]_2342-matt lips . [My]_2342-matt mouth is still dry and [my]_2342-matt lips are suffering as a consequence . Okay , [I]_2342-matt need to get back out there , get the specification and be gone . [My]_2342-matt heart is pleading for some let up . [I]_2342-matt ’m completely ashamed of [myself]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt re - pin [my]_2342-matt hair and exit [the toilets]_{2363-the toilets} , making [my]_2342-matt way back to [[Mr Ward]_327-jesse ’s office]_{2353-mr ward ’s office} . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know if [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to be able to work for [this man]_327-jesse ; [I]_2342-matt ’m just way too affected by [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt knock before [I]_2342-matt enter , finding [him]_327-jesse sat on the couch looking over [my]_2342-matt portfolio . [He]_327-jesse looks up and smiles , and [I]_2342-matt know now , [I]_2342-matt really have to leave . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t possibly work with [this man]_327-jesse . Every molecule of intelligence and brain power [I]_2342-matt possess has been zapped from [my]_2342-matt body by [his]_327-jesse presence . And worse of all , [he]_327-jesse knows it . [I]_2342-matt give [myself]_2342-matt a mental pep talk , making [my]_2342-matt way over to the table , ignoring the fact that [he]_327-jesse ’s following [my]_2342-matt every move . [He]_327-jesse leans back on the sofa in a gesture for [me]_2342-matt to squeeze past , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t . [I]_2342-matt take a seat on the opposite sofa , perching on the edge . [He]_327-jesse flicks [me]_2342-matt a questioning look . ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_352-you okay ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Yes , [I]_2342-matt ’m fine , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt answer shortly . [He]_2342-matt knows . ‘ Would [you]_352-you like to show [me]_2342-matt where [your]_352-you intended project is so [we]_2366-we can start discussing requirements ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt force the confidence into [my]_2342-matt voice . [I]_2342-matt ’m just following protocol now . [I]_2342-matt ’ve absolutely no intention of taking this contract on , but [I]_2342-matt ca n’t just walk out – as tempting as it is . [He]_327-jesse raises [his]_327-jesse eyebrows , clearly surprised by [my]_2342-matt change of approach . ‘_[2342-matt] Sure . ’ [He]_327-jesse gets up from the sofa , striding over to [his]_327-jesse desk to collect [his]_327-jesse mobile . [I]_2342-matt gather [my]_2342-matt things , stuff them into [my]_2342-matt bag and follow [his]_327-jesse gesture to lead the way . [He]_327-jesse quickly overtakes [me]_2342-matt , opening the door and performing an exaggerated gentlemanly bow as [he]_327-jesse holds it open . [I]_2342-matt smile politely – even though [I]_2342-matt know [he]_327-jesse ’s playing with [me]_2342-matt – and exit into [the corridor]_{2350-the room} , heading towards [the summer room]_{2350-the room} . [I]_2342-matt stiffen on a gasp when [he]_327-jesse places a hand at the small of [my]_2342-matt back to guide [me]_2342-matt . What ’s [he]_327-jesse playing at ? [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] trying [my]_2342-matt hardest to ignore it , but [you]_353-you would have to be dead not to notice the affect [this man]_327-jesse ’s having on [me]_2342-matt . And [I]_2342-matt know [he]_327-jesse knows it . [My]_2342-matt skin ’s burning all over – almost certainly warming [his]_327-jesse palm through [my]_2342-matt dress – [I]_2342-matt ca n’t get [my]_2342-matt breathing under control and walking is taking every bit of coordination and effort [I]_2342-matt possess . [I]_2342-matt ’m pathetic , and it ’s bloody obvious [he]_327-jesse ’s enjoying the reactions [he]_327-jesse ’s drawing from [me]_355-i . [I]_355-i must be quite amusing . Annoyed with [myself]_355-i , [I]_355-i walk a little quicker to break the contact of [his]_327-jesse hand from [my]_355-i back , stopping when [I]_355-i reach the point of two possible routes . [He]_327-jesse reaches [me]_355-i , pointing out across the lawns to [the tennis courts]_{2368-the tennis courts} . ‘_[355-i] Do [you]_355-i play ? ’ [I]_355-i actually laugh , but it ’s a comfortable laugh . ‘_[355-i] No , [I]_2342-matt do n’t . ’ [I]_355-i can run , but that ’s about it . Give [me]_355-i a bat , racket or a ball , then [you]_355-i ’re_[355-i] asking for trouble . The corners of [his]_2342-matt mouth twitch into a grin at [my]_2342-matt reaction , bolstering the green of [his]_2342-matt eyes and lengthening [his]_2342-matt generous lashes . [I]_2342-matt smile , shaking [my]_2342-matt head in wonder at [this glorious man]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [He]_2342-matt continues through to [the entrance hall]_{356-the entrance hall} , [me]_2342-matt following . ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t mind the odd game , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] more of [an extreme sports kinda guy]_{357-an extreme sports kinda guy} . ’ [He]_2342-matt stops , and [I]_{357-an extreme sports kinda guy} halt with [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt looks ridiculously fit and toned . ‘_{[357-an extreme sports kinda guy]} What sort of extreme sports ? ’ ‘_{[357-an extreme sports kinda guy]} Snow - boarding , mainly , but [I]_2342-matt ’ve tried [my]_2342-matt hand at white water rafting , bungee jumping and skydiving . [I]_2342-matt ’m a bit of an adrenalin junky . [I]_2342-matt like to feel the blood pumping . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt watches [me]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt speaks , making [me]_2342-matt feel scrutinised . [You]_358-you would have to anesthetise [me]_2342-matt before [you]_358-you got [me]_2342-matt doing any of [his]_2342-matt blood pumping pastimes . [I]_2342-matt ’ll stick to a run every so often . ‘ Extreme . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say , studying [this magnificent man of an age]_{359-this magnificent man of an age} [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . ‘ Very extreme , ’_{[359-this magnificent man of an age]} [he]_{359-this magnificent man of an age} confirms quietly . [My]_2342-matt breath catches again and [I]_2342-matt close [my]_2342-matt eyes , mentally yelling at [myself]_2342-matt for being such [a loser]_{360-a loser} . ‘ Shall [we]_2369-we continue ? ’_{[359-this magnificent man of an age]} [he]_{359-this magnificent man of an age} asks . [I]_2342-matt can hear humour in [his]_{359-this magnificent man of an age} voice . [I]_2342-matt open [my]_2342-matt eyes to be met by [his]_{359-this magnificent man of an age} penetrating , green stare . ‘ Yes , please . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt wish [he]_{359-this magnificent man of an age} would stop looking at [me]_2342-matt like that . [He]_{359-this magnificent man of an age} half smiles again and walks into [the bar]_{361-the bar} , greeting [the men [I]_2342-matt saw earlier by clapping [them]_{362-the men i saw earlier by clapping them on the shoulders} on the shoulders]_{362-the men i saw earlier by clapping them on the shoulders} . [The woman]_363-irene is no longer [here]_314-here . [The two men]_{365-the two men} are very attractive , young – probably late twenties – and perched on bar stools , drinking bottles of beer . ‘ Guys , this is [Ava]_832-ava . [Ava]_832-ava , this is [Sam Kelt]_1914-sam and [Drew Davies]_327-jesse . ’_{[365-the two men]} ‘ Good afternoon . ’_[327-jesse] [Drew]_327-jesse drawls . [He]_327-jesse ’s a bit miserable . [His]_327-jesse appearance – [he]_327-jesse ’s handsome in a rugged kind of way – and character , tell [me]_2342-matt [he]_327-jesse ’s smart , confident and [a business type]_{366-a business type} . [His]_327-jesse black hair is perfectly styled , [his]_327-jesse suit pristine , [his]_327-jesse eyes shrewd . ‘ Hi . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile politely . ‘ Welcome to [the pleasure dome]_{2370-the pleasure dome} , ’_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam laughs , raising [his]_327-jesse bottle . ‘ Can [I]_1914-sam buy [you]_1914-sam a drink ? ’_[1914-sam] [I]_2342-matt notice [Ward]_327-jesse shake [his]_327-jesse head lightly on an eye roll . [Sam]_1914-sam grins . [He]_327-jesse ’s the polar opposite of [Drew]_327-jesse – all casual and laid back , in old jeans , a Superdry T - shirt and converse . [He]_327-jesse has a cheeky face , complimented by one dimple on [his]_327-jesse left cheek . [His]_327-jesse blue eyes twinkle , adding to [his]_327-jesse cheekiness , and [his]_327-jesse mousey brown , shoulder length hair is all over the place . ‘ No , [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] fine , thanks . ’ [I]_327-jesse answer . [He]_327-jesse nods at [Ward]_327-jesse . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’ ‘_[327-jesse] No , [I]_2342-matt ’m good , [I‘m]_2342-matt just giving [Ava]_832-ava a tour of the extension . [She]_832-ava ’ll be working on [the interiors]_{2371-the interiors} . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse says , smiling at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt quietly scoff to [myself]_2342-matt . Not if [I]_2342-matt have anything to do with it . Anyway , [he]_327-jesse ’s jumping the gun a bit , is n’t [he]_327-jesse ? [We]_367-we ’ve not discussed rates , briefs or anything , for that matter . ‘ About time , there are never [any rooms available]_{2372-any rooms available} . ’_[327-jesse] [Drew]_327-jesse grumbles into [his]_327-jesse bottle . Why have [I]_2342-matt never heard of [this place]_310-whoever ? ‘ How was [the boarding in [Cortina]_9-cortina]_{2373-the boarding in cortina} , [[my]_1914-sam man]_327-jesse ? ’_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam asks . [Ward]_327-jesse perches on another stool . ‘ Amazing . The Italian way of skiing follows pretty closely to [their]_2374-their laid back lifestyle , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse smiles broadly , the first proper full beam smile since [I]_2342-matt ’ve laid eyes on [him]_327-jesse – all straight , white and lush . [This man]_327-jesse is [a God]_327-jesse . ‘ [I]_327-jesse got up late , found [a great mountain]_{2375-a great mountain} , ran [the slopes]_{370-the slopes} until [my]_327-jesse legs buckled , had a siesta , ate late and started all over again the next day . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse ’s addressing [us]_369-us all but staring at [me]_2342-matt . [His]_327-jesse passion for [the slopes]_{370-the slopes} is demonstrated in [his]_327-jesse wide smile . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help but return [his]_327-jesse beam . ‘ [You]_327-jesse ’re_[2342-matt] good ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask , because it ’s the only thing that comes to mind . [I]_2342-matt imagine [he]_327-jesse ’s good at everything . ‘_[2342-matt] Very , ’ [he]_327-jesse confirms quietly . [I]_2342-matt nod [my]_2342-matt approval , and for a few seconds , [our]_369-us eyes are locked . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] the first to break it . ‘ Shall [we]_369-us ? ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse asks , pushing [himself]_327-jesse up from the stool and gesturing towards [the exit]_{371-the exit} . ‘ Yes . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile . [I]_2342-matt ’m supposedly here to work , after all . All [I]_2342-matt ’ve achieved so far is a hot flush and an establishment of extreme sports . [I]_2342-matt feel like [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] in a trance . From the moment [I]_2342-matt pulled up to those gates , [I]_2342-matt knew it was n’t going to be an average day to day meeting , and [I]_2342-matt was right . In the four years [I]_2342-matt ’ve been visiting [people]_372-people in [[their]_372-people homes]_{373-their homes} , [work places]_{374-work places} and new builds , [I]_2342-matt ’ve never come across a [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt probably never will do again . It ’s undoubtedly a good job . [I]_2342-matt turn to [the two guys]_{375-the two guys} at [the bar]_{361-the bar} , smiling [my]_2342-matt goodbye , prompting [them]_{375-the two guys} to raise [their]_{375-the two guys} bottles before [they]_{375-the two guys} continue with [their]_{375-the two guys} conversation . [I]_2342-matt walk towards the door that leads back to [the entrance hall]_{356-the entrance hall} , feeling [him]_378-he close behind [me]_2342-matt . [He]_378-he ’s too close ; [I]_2342-matt can smell [him]_378-he . [I]_2342-matt close [my]_2342-matt eyes , sending a small prayer to [God]_68-god to get [me]_2342-matt through this quickly , with at least a bit of dignity intact . [He]_378-he ’s just way too intense and it ’s throwing [my]_2342-matt senses in a million different directions . ‘ So , now for the main feature , ’_[378-he] [He]_378-he begins to climb [the wide staircase]_{272-the stairs} . [I]_2342-matt follow [him]_378-he , gazing around the colossal void that leads to a huge gallery landing . ‘ These are [the private rooms]_{2376-the private rooms} . ’_[378-he] [he]_378-he says , pointing to various doors that lead off of [the landing]_{380-the landing} . [I]_2342-matt follow , admiring [his]_378-he lovely backside , thinking [he]_378-he possibly has the sexiest walk [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever had the privilege of seeing . When [I]_2342-matt drag [my]_2342-matt eyes from [his]_378-he tidy rear , [I]_2342-matt see that there are at least twenty doors , evenly spaced and leading into [rooms]_381-rooms beyond . [He]_378-he leads [me]_2342-matt until [we]_382-we reach [another grand staircase that stretches to another floor]_{383-another grand staircase that stretches to another floor} . At the foot of [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , there ’s a beautiful stained glass window and an archway leading to another wing . ‘ This is the extension , ’_[378-he] [He]_378-he guides [me]_2342-matt through to [a new section of [the mansion]_{308-the place}]_{384-a new section of the mansion} . ‘ This is where [I]_378-he need [your]_378-he help . ’_[378-he] [he]_378-he adds , halting at the mouth of a corridor that leads to [a further ten rooms]_{386-a further ten rooms} . ‘ This is all new ? ’_[378-he] [I]_2342-matt ask . ‘ Yes , [they]_{386-a further ten rooms} ’re_[2342-matt] all shells at the moment , but [I]_2342-matt ’m sure [you]_378-he ’ll remedy that . Let [me]_2342-matt show [you]_378-he . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m way past shocked when [he]_378-he takes [my]_2342-matt hand , tugging [me]_2342-matt down [the corridor]_{2361-the corridor} to the very last door . Inappropriate ! [His]_378-he hand is still clammy , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sure [mine]_2342-matt is trembling in [his]_378-he grip . The arched brow on a slight grin [he]_378-he flashes [me]_2342-matt , tells [me]_2342-matt [I]_2342-matt ’m right . There ’s some sort of super charged current flowing through [us]_2378-us – it ’s making [me]_387-i shudder . [He]_378-he opens the door , directing [me]_387-i into [a freshly plastered room]_{2350-the room} . It ’s vast , and the new windows are sympathetic to [the existing property]_{2380-the existing property} . [Whoever]_310-whoever built this did an excellent job . ‘_[387-i] Are [they]_387-i all this big ? ’ [I]_387-i ask , flexing [my]_387-i fingers until [he]_378-he releases [my]_387-i hand . Does [he]_378-he behave like this with [all females]_{2381-all females} ? It ’s really off putting . ‘_[387-i] Yes . ’ [I]_387-i walk into the centre of [the room]_{2350-the room} , looking around . It ’s a good size . [I]_387-i notice another door . ‘_[387-i] En - suite ? ’ [I]_387-i ask as [I]_387-i wander over and enter . ‘_[387-i] Yes . ’ [The rooms]_{2350-the room} are huge , especially by hotel standards . A lot could be done with [them]_{2350-the room} . [I]_387-i would be excited , if [I]_387-i was n’t so concerned with what ’s expected of [me]_387-i . This is no [Lusso]_66-lusso . [I]_387-i exit [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} , finding [Ward]_327-jesse leaning against the wall , [his]_327-jesse hands in [his]_327-jesse trouser pockets , [his]_327-jesse eyes all hooded and dark as [he]_327-jesse watches [me]_387-i . [[My]_387-i God]_2383-god , [the man]_327-jesse is sex on legs . [I]_387-i ’m_[387-i] almost disappointed that traditional does n’t feature in [my]_2342-matt design history . It ’s of no interest to [me]_2342-matt at all . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not sure [I]_2342-matt ’m [the right person for this job]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt sound regretful . That ’s okay , because [I]_2342-matt am . [I]_2342-matt ’m regretful that [I]_2342-matt ca n’t pull [myself]_2342-matt together . [He]_327-jesse looks at [me]_2342-matt , those sludgy eyes stabbing at [my]_2342-matt defenses , making [me]_2342-matt shift on [my]_2342-matt heels . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt think [you]_388-you have what [I]_2342-matt want . ’ [he]_327-jesse says quietly . WHOA ! ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve always dealt in modern luxury , ’ [I]_2342-matt look around [the room]_{2350-the room} again , slowly dropping [my]_2342-matt eyes back to [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sure [you]_388-you would be happier working with [Patrick]_327-jesse or [Tom]_60-tom . [They]_2385-they deal with [our]_2385-they period projects . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt considers [me]_2342-matt for a second , does that head shake thing and pushes [himself]_2342-matt away from the wall by [his]_2342-matt shoulder blades . ‘ But [I]_2342-matt want [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Why ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_2342-matt look like [you]_2342-matt ’ll be very good . ’_[2342-matt] An involuntary rush of breath escapes [my]_2342-matt lips at [his]_2342-matt words . [I]_2342-matt ’m not sure what to make of that statement . Does [he]_2342-matt mean for [my]_2342-matt design skills or something else ? The way [he]_2342-matt ’s looking at [me]_2342-matt , tells [me]_2342-matt it ’s the latter . [He]_2342-matt ’s a bit bloody confident . ‘_[2342-matt] What ’s [your]_389-i brief ? ’ [I]_389-i ask , because all other words fail [me]_389-i . [My]_389-i colour is rising again . A smile tickles the corners of [his]_2342-matt mouth . ‘_[389-i] Sensual , intimate , luxurious , stimulating , invigorating … ’ [He]_2342-matt pauses to gage [my]_389-i reaction . [I]_389-i frown . It ’s not the usual brief . Relaxing , functional or practical were not mentioned at all . ‘_[389-i] Okay , anything in particular [I]_2342-matt should allow for ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . Why am [I]_2342-matt bothering with these questions ? ‘_[2342-matt] A big bed and lots of wall hangings . ’ [he]_2342-matt states on a husk . ‘_[2342-matt] What sort of wall hangings ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Big , wooden ones . Oh , and the lighting needs to suit . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Suit what ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help the confusion in [my]_2342-matt tone . [He]_2342-matt smiles , and [I]_2342-matt dissolve on the spot in a hot pool of hormones . ‘_[2342-matt] Well , the brief , of course . ’ Oh God , [he]_2342-matt must think [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] something else . ‘ Yes , of course , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look up , seeing chunky beams spanning the ceiling . [The building]_{390-the building} is new , but they are no faux beams . ‘ Do all of [the rooms]_{2379-the rooms} have [them]_{2379-the rooms} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt return [my]_2342-matt eyes to [his]_327-jesse . ‘ Yes , [they]_{2379-the rooms} ’re_[2342-matt] essential . ’ [His]_327-jesse voice is low and seductive . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not sure how much more [I]_2342-matt can take . [I]_2342-matt grab [my]_2342-matt client briefing pad to start making notes . ‘ Are there any particular colours [I]_2342-matt should work to or against ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No , knock [yourself]_{2387-yourself} out . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt flick [my]_2342-matt head up to look at [him]_327-jesse . ‘ Excuse [me]_327-jesse ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse smiles . ‘ Go for it . ’_[327-jesse] Oh , well , [I]_2342-matt wo n’t be knocking [myself]_2342-matt out on anything because [he]_327-jesse wo n’t be seeing [me]_2342-matt [here]_314-here again . But [I]_2342-matt should get as much information as possible so [I]_2342-matt can pass it to [Patrick]_327-jesse or [Tom]_60-tom , with at least a bit of willingness . ‘ [You]_2388-you mentioned a big bed . [Any particular type]_{2389-any particular type} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask , trying to remain professional . ‘ No , just very big , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt falter mid - note , slowly looking up to find [him]_327-jesse watching [me]_2342-matt . It ’s making [me]_2342-matt stupidly nervous . ‘ What about soft furnishings ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , [lots]_2390-lots . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse starts walking towards [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_327-jesse like [your]_2388-you dress . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse whispers . Holy shit , [I]_2342-matt ’m out of [here]_314-here ! ‘_[2342-matt] Thanks , ’ [I]_2342-matt squeak , making for the door . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt have everything [I]_2342-matt need . ’ [I]_2342-matt do n’t , but [I]_2342-matt ca n’t stay [here]_314-here any longer . [This man]_327-jesse is like a sensory drain on [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll get some designs together . ’ [I]_2342-matt exit into [the corridor]_{2361-the corridor} , heading straight for [the gallery landing]_{2393-the gallery landing} . Bloody hell , when [I]_2342-matt woke up this morning , this was the last thing [I]_2342-matt expected . [Posh country mansion]_{2394-posh country mansion} – with [a painfully handsome owner]_{2395-a painfully handsome owner} to round the package off – is not part of [my]_2342-matt regular daily routine . [I]_2342-matt find [my]_2342-matt way to the top of [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , bolting down at a stupid rate , considering the tan stilettos [I]_2342-matt have on . [I]_2342-matt hit the parquet floor , wondering how the hell [I]_2342-matt got [here]_314-here . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] a mess . ‘ [I]_2342-matt look forward to hearing from [you]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt husky voice rolls over [my]_2342-matt flesh as [he]_2342-matt joins [me]_2342-matt at the bottom of [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , putting [his]_2342-matt hand out . [I]_2342-matt take it in [mine]_2342-matt for fear that if [I]_2342-matt do n’t , [he]_2342-matt may well clench [me]_2342-matt and place [his]_2342-matt lips on [me]_2342-matt again . ‘ [You]_2342-matt have [a lovely hotel]_{2398-a lovely hotel} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say genuinely . [I]_2342-matt ’m beginning to wish that [my]_2342-matt handbag contents consisted of spare knickers , a blind fold , ear plugs and some armor . [I]_2342-matt might have been more prepared . [His]_2342-matt eyebrows shoot up as [he]_2342-matt keeps hold of [my]_2342-matt hand and slowly shakes it . The buzz travelling through [our]_2399-our joined hands makes [me]_2342-matt tense all over . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt have [a lovely hotel]_{2398-a lovely hotel} . ’ [he]_2342-matt repeats thoughtfully . The buzz transforms to a full on jolt of electricity , and [I]_2342-matt retract [my]_2342-matt hand under reflex . [He]_2342-matt looks at [me]_2342-matt questioningly . ‘_[2342-matt] It really was nice to meet [you]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [He]_2342-matt emphasises the really . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt too , ’ [I]_2342-matt practically whisper . [I]_2342-matt watch as [his]_2342-matt eyes dart briefly and [he]_2342-matt starts chewing [his]_2342-matt bottom lip . [His]_2342-matt shifting body eventually moves over to the centre table of [the entrance hall]_{356-the entrance hall} . [He]_2342-matt pulls out a single calla lily from the huge spray that ’s dominating the piece of furniture . [He]_2342-matt studies it for a few moments before [he]_2342-matt holds it out to [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Understated elegance . ’ [he]_2342-matt says softly . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know why , maybe because [my]_2342-matt brain is mush , but [I]_2342-matt take it . ‘_[2342-matt] Thank [you]_2342-matt . ’ [He]_2342-matt puts [his]_2342-matt abandoned hand in [his]_2342-matt pocket , watching [me]_2342-matt closely . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt ’re more than welcome . ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt gaze travels from [my]_2342-matt eyes to [my]_2342-matt lips . [I]_2342-matt take a few steps back . ‘ There [you]_2342-matt are ! ’_[2342-matt] [A woman]_{395-a woman} walks out of [the bar]_{361-the bar} and towards [Ward]_327-jesse . [She]_{395-a woman} ’s attractive – all blonde , mid - length , layered hair and red , pouty lips . [She]_{395-a woman} kisses [his]_2342-matt cheek . ‘ Are [you]_2342-matt ready ? ’_{[395-a woman]} Okay , [I]_2342-matt ’m assuming this must be [the wife]_{395-a woman} . But there was no ring , so maybe it ’s [the girlfriend]_{395-a woman} ? Either or , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] completely stunned when [he]_2342-matt does n’t take [his]_2342-matt eyes off of [me]_2342-matt , making no attempt to answer [her]_{395-a woman} question . [She]_{395-a woman} turns to see what ’s stealing [his]_2342-matt attention and eyes [me]_2342-matt suspiciously . [I]_2342-matt do n’t like [her]_{395-a woman} instantly , and it has nothing to do with [the man [she]_{395-a woman} ’s draped all over]_{397-the man she ’s draped all over} . ‘ And [you]_{397-the man she ’s draped all over} are ? ’_{[395-a woman]} [she]_{395-a woman} purrs . [I]_2342-matt shift uncomfortably , feeling like [I]_2342-matt ’ve been captured doing something naughty . Well , [I]_2342-matt have . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been having extreme unwelcome reactions to [[her]_{395-a woman} boyfriend]_{398-her boyfriend} . An unreasonable pang of jealousy stabs at [me]_2342-matt . How ridiculous ! [I]_2342-matt smile sweetly . ‘ Just leaving . Goodbye . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt turn , practically running to the door and scuttling down the steps . [I]_2342-matt jump into [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} , letting out an almighty breath , and when [my]_2342-matt lungs have thanked [me]_2342-matt for the welcome air , [I]_2342-matt flop back in [my]_2342-matt seat and commence breathing regulating exercises . [I]_2342-matt ’m going to have to pass this to [Tom]_60-tom . But then [I]_2342-matt laugh at [my]_2342-matt stupid idea . [Tom]_60-tom ’s gay . [He]_60-tom ’ll be just as affected by [Ward]_327-jesse as [I]_2342-matt am . Even knowing [he]_60-tom ’s taken , [I]_2342-matt still could n’t work with [him]_60-tom . [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head in disbelief and start [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} . As [I]_2342-matt drive down [the gravel driveway]_{2402-the gravel driveway} , [I]_2342-matt look in [my]_2342-matt rear view mirror at [the imposing Manor]_{2403-the imposing manor} getting smaller and smaller behind [me]_2342-matt . And there , stood at the top of the steps watching [me]_2342-matt leave , is [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse . * * * ‘_[2342-matt] There [you]_400-you are . [I]_2342-matt was just going to call [you]_400-you , ’ [Kate]_2557-kate exclaims , without looking up from placing a figurine on the wedding cake [she]_2557-kate ’s decorating . [Her]_2557-kate tongue ’s hanging out , resting on [her]_2557-kate bottom lip . It makes [me]_2342-matt smile . ‘_[2342-matt] Do [you]_400-you fancy going out ? ’ [She]_2557-kate still does n’t look up . This is good . [I]_400-you ’m_[400-you] sure [my]_2342-matt face will give away any attempt to feign coolness . [I]_2342-matt ’m still slightly flustered after [my]_2342-matt lunchtime meeting with [a certain Lord of [the Manor]_{2356-the manor}]_{2404-a certain lord of the manor} . [I]_2342-matt do n’t have the energy to get ready and go out . ‘_[2342-matt] Shall [we]_401-i save [ourselves]_401-i for tomorrow ? ’ [I]_401-i try . [I]_401-i know this will mean a bottle of wine on the sofa , but at least [I]_401-i can put [my]_401-i PJ ’s on and chill out . After the day [I]_401-i ’ve had , winding down [my]_401-i racing mind is paramount . [I]_401-i ’ve got a headache and lacked the ability to concentrate all day . ‘_[401-i] Absolutely . Let [me]_2342-matt finish this cake , then [I]_2342-matt ’m all [yours]_65-ha . ’_[402-she] [She]_402-she swivels the fruit cake on the stand , dabbing edible glue onto the icing . ‘ How was [your]_65-ha day in [the countryside]_{293-the countryside} ? ’_[65-ha] [Ha]_65-ha ! What do [I]_2342-matt say ? [I]_2342-matt expected [a pompous country bumpkin]_{403-a pompous country bumpkin} , but [I]_2342-matt got a devastatingly handsome , suited [God]_68-god . [He]_{403-a pompous country bumpkin} requested [me]_2342-matt by name , [his]_{403-a pompous country bumpkin} touch turned [me]_2342-matt to molten lava , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t look in [his]_{403-a pompous country bumpkin} eyes for fear of passing out and [he]_{403-a pompous country bumpkin} liked [my]_2342-matt dress . Instead , [I]_2342-matt say , ‘ Interesting , ’_[402-she] [She]_402-she looks up . ‘ Do tell . ’_[402-she] [she]_402-she prompts , [her]_402-she eyes sparkling as [she]_402-she bends back down , [her]_402-she tongue popping out again . ‘ It was n’t what [I]_402-she expected . ’_[402-she] [I]_2342-matt flick a piece of imaginary lint off of [my]_2342-matt navy dress in an attempt to appear casual . ‘ Leave out what [you]_2407-you expected and tell [me]_402-she what [you]_2407-you got . ’_[402-she] [She]_402-she ’s stopped trying to fix [husband]_{2354-the owner} and [wife]_{2354-the owner} to the top of the cake . Instead , [her]_402-she eyes are narrowed on [me]_2342-matt . [She]_402-she has icing on the end of [her]_402-she nose , but [I]_2342-matt ignore it . ‘ [The owner]_{2354-the owner} , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shrug , fiddling with [my]_2342-matt tan belt . ‘ [The owner]_{2354-the owner} ? ’_[402-she] [she]_402-she asks , [her]_402-she lips twitching . ‘ Yes . [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse , [the owner]_{2354-the owner} . ’_[402-she] [I]_2342-matt flick more imaginary lint from [my]_2342-matt dress . ‘ [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse , [the owner]_{2354-the owner} . ’_[402-she] [she]_402-she mimics [me]_2342-matt , pointing to one of the flowery tub chairs in [[her]_402-she workshop]_{2322-her workshop} . ‘ Sit , now ! Why are [you]_406-you trying to sound cool ? [You]_406-you ’re_[402-she] failing miserably , by the way . [Your]_406-you cheeks are the colour of that icing . ’ [She]_402-she points to a fire engine cake on the metal shelf stand . ‘_[406-you] Why was [the owner]_{2354-the owner} , [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse , not what [you]_406-you expected ? ’ Because [he]_327-jesse was steaming hot ! [I]_327-jesse flop into the chair with [my]_327-jesse bag on [my]_327-jesse lap , while [Kate]_2557-kate stands tapping [her]_2557-kate palm with the handle of [her]_2557-kate spatula . [She]_2557-kate finally walks over , sitting in the chair opposite [me]_327-jesse . ‘_[327-jesse] Tell [me]_2342-matt . ’ [she]_2557-kate presses , knowing there ’s something to tell . [I]_2342-matt shrug . ‘_[2342-matt] [The man]_2342-matt ’s attractive and [he]_2342-matt knows it . ’ [I]_2342-matt see [her]_2557-kate eyes light up as the spatulas taps become faster on [her]_2557-kate hand . [She]_2557-kate wants more drama . [She]_2557-kate loves it . When [Matt]_2342-matt and [I]_2342-matt split up , [she]_2557-kate was the first on the scene to soak up the spectacle as [a supporting friend]_{2408-a supporting friend} . [She]_2557-kate need n’t have bothered . It was mutual , very amicable and really rather boring . No plates were flying and [no neighbours]_{2409-no neighbours} called [the police]_{2410-the police} . ‘_[2342-matt] How old ? ’ [she]_2557-kate asks keenly . Now , that one ’s got [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] still mortified that [I]_2342-matt blurted such an inappropriate question during a business meeting . [My]_2342-matt embarrassment was n’t even worthwhile as [he]_2342-matt was obviously playing with [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt shrug . ‘ [He]_2342-matt said twenty one , but [he]_2342-matt ’s at least ten years past that . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_2342-matt asked [him]_2342-matt ? ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate ’s jaw hits [her]_2557-kate lap . ‘ Yes , in a moment of pure brain to mouth filter malfunction , the question did slip . [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] not proud . ’ [I]_2342-matt mutter . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt made such a fool of [myself]_2342-matt , [Kate]_2557-kate . [A man]_{340-a man} ’s never done that to [me]_2342-matt before . But [this one]_{410-this one} , well , [you]_411-you would have been ashamed of [me]_2342-matt . ’ A sharp shot of laughter flies from [her]_2557-kate mouth . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt need to teach [you]_411-you some social skills ! ’ [She]_2557-kate falls back in [her]_2557-kate chair , starting to lick the icing from [her]_2557-kate spatula . ‘_[832-ava] Please do , ’ [I]_327-jesse grumble , putting [my]_327-jesse hand out to [her]_2557-kate . [She]_2557-kate passes [me]_327-jesse the spatula , and [I]_327-jesse start licking at the edges . [I]_327-jesse ’ve lived with [Kate]_2557-kate for a month and existed on wine , icing sugar and cake mixture . A loss of appetite after a break up , [I]_327-jesse do n’t have . ‘_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse was very self - assured . ’ [I]_327-jesse say between licks . ‘_[327-jesse] As in ? ’ ‘_[327-jesse] Oh , [this man]_327-jesse knew [he]_327-jesse was sparking a reaction in [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt must have been painful to watch . [I]_2342-matt was pathetic . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] That good ? ’ [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head in dismay . ‘_[2342-matt] Ridiculously , ’ ‘_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse ’s probably shit in bed , ’ [Kate]_2557-kate muses . ‘_[327-jesse] [All the hot ones]_{413-all the hot ones} are . What ’s [your]_414-your brief ? ’ ‘_[414-your] [Ten new bedrooms in the extension]_{415-ten new bedrooms in the extension} . [I]_2342-matt thought [I]_2342-matt was going to [a country mansion]_{2356-the manor} , but it ’s [a mega plush hotel]_{417-a mega plush hotel} come [spa]_418-spa . [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , have [you]_414-your heard of it ? ’ [Kate]_2557-kate ’s face screws up into a clueless expression . ‘_[414-your] Nope , ’ [she]_2557-kate replies , getting up to turn the oven off . ‘_[414-your] Can [I]_2342-matt come next time ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] No , [I]_2342-matt ’m not going back . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t work with that . Besides , [he]_2342-matt has [a girlfriend]_{2411-a girlfriend} . And [I]_2342-matt could never look [him]_2342-matt in the eye again , not after [my]_2342-matt performance . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt push [myself]_2342-matt up from the chair , throwing the spatula into the empty mixing bowl . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ve passed it over to [Patrick]_327-jesse . Wine ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ In the fridge , ’_[419-our] [We]_419-our make [our]_419-our way up to [the flat]_{420-the flat} and change into [our]_419-our PJ ’s . [I]_2342-matt dump [my]_2342-matt bag on [my]_2342-matt bed and it flops open , [the calla lily Ward]_{421-the calla lily ward} gave [me]_2342-matt making an appearance . Understated elegance . [I]_2342-matt pick it up and twirl it in [my]_2342-matt fingers for a few moments , then dump it in [my]_2342-matt wastepaper basket . Forgotten ... Once changed into [my]_2342-matt slob out clothes , [I]_2342-matt load the DVD player with the latest offering from [the local rental shop]_{422-the local rental shop} , jump on the couch with [Kate]_2557-kate and try to concentrate on the movie . It ’s impossible . [My]_2342-matt mind ’s eye is trampled with a tall , lean , dark blonde , green eyed male of a certain age , with a dribble worthy gait and bag loads of sex appeal . [I]_2342-matt doze off with the words “ But [I]_2342-matt want [you]_423-you ” pin - balling around [my]_2342-matt head . Not so forgotten … Chapter 3 After two progress meetings with [clients]_424-clients and stopping by at [[Mr Muller]_{77-mr muller} ’s new townhouse in [Holland Park]_{24-holland park}]_{425-mr muller ’s new townhouse in holland park} to drop off some samples , [I]_2342-matt ’m back in [the office]_{279-the office} listening to [Patrick]_327-jesse moan about [Irene]_363-irene . It ’s a normal Monday morning affair after [he]_327-jesse ’s endured a whole weekend away from [the office]_{279-the office} with [[his]_327-jesse wife]_363-irene . [I]_78-darling really have no idea how [the poor man]_327-jesse pokes up with [her]_363-irene . [Tom]_60-tom breezes in with the widest grin on [his]_60-tom face , and [I]_78-darling know immediately [he]_60-tom must have pulled over the weekend . ‘_[78-darling] [Darling]_78-darling , [I]_2342-matt ’ve missed [you]_78-darling ! ’ [He]_60-tom air kisses [me]_60-tom and turns to [Patrick]_327-jesse , who holds [his]_327-jesse hands up in a don’t - even - think - about - it gesture . [Tom]_60-tom rolls [his]_60-tom eyes , completely un - offended , and waltzes to [his]_60-tom desk . ‘_[60-tom] Morning , [Tom]_60-tom . ’ [I]_60-tom greet brightly . ‘_[60-tom] [I]_2342-matt ’ve had the most stressful morning . [Mr]_426-mr and [Mrs Baines]_{64-mrs baines} have changed [their]_427-their bloody minds for the thousandth time . [I]_2342-matt ’ve had to cancel all the orders and re - arrange [a dozen workmen]_{428-a dozen workmen} , ’ [He]_60-tom waves [his]_60-tom arms in the air in frustration . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt got a sodding parking ticket for not displaying a permit in [a resident]_{429-a resident} ’s zone and , to top it off , [I]_2342-matt snagged [my]_2342-matt new jumper on them hideous railings outside [Starbucks]_12-starbucks . ’ [He]_60-tom starts picking the stray wool from the hem of [his]_60-tom hot pink , [V]_79-v neck jumper . ‘_[68-god] [God]_68-god damn it , look ! It ’s a good job [I]_2342-matt got laid last night or [I]_2342-matt ’d be in the depths of despair . ’ [He]_60-tom grins at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt knew it . [Patrick]_327-jesse walks away , shaking [his]_327-jesse head . [His]_327-jesse attempts to tone [Tom]_60-tom ’s gayness down to more tolerable levels have proven ineffective . [He]_430-lovely ’s now given up . ‘_[2342-matt] Good night ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . ‘_[2342-matt] Wonderful , [I]_2342-matt met [the most divine man]_430-lovely . [He]_430-lovely ’s taking [me]_2342-matt to [the Natural History Museum]_{431-the natural history museum} at the weekend . [He]_430-lovely ’s [a scientist]_{432-a scientist} . [We]_433-we ’re [soul mates]_{2413-soul mates} , for sure . ’_[433-we] ‘ What happened to [the personal trainer]_{2414-the personal trainer} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . That was last week ’s soul mate . ‘ Do n’t , it was a disaster . [He]_430-lovely turned up at [[my]_2342-matt apartment]_{2415-my apartment} on Friday night with the Dirty Dancing DVD and an Indian takeout for two . Can [you]_430-lovely believe that ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_430-lovely ’m_[430-lovely] shocked . ’ [I]_2342-matt tease . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt bloody was . Needless to say , [I]_2342-matt wo n’t be seeing [him]_430-lovely again . What ’s happening with [you]_430-lovely , [darling]_430-lovely ? How ’s [that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of [yours]_430-lovely]_{434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours} ? ’ [He]_{434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours} winks . [Tom]_60-tom does n’t hide [his]_60-tom attraction to [Matt]_2342-matt , which makes [me]_{434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours} laugh but makes [Matt]_2342-matt extremely uncomfortable . ‘_{[434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours]} [He]_{434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours} ’s okay . [He]_{434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours} ’s still [the ex]_{435-the ex} and still straight . ’ ‘_{[434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours]} Damn shame . Let [me]_2342-matt know when [he]_{434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours} comes to [his]_{434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours} senses . ’ [Tom]_60-tom saunters off , tweaking [his]_{434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours} perfectly positioned blonde quiff . ‘_{[54-victoria]} [Sally]_54-victoria , [I]_2342-matt ’m emailing [you]_54-victoria a design consultation fee for [Mr Ward]_327-jesse . Can [you]_54-victoria make sure [you]_54-victoria send it today ? ’_{[54-victoria]} ‘ [I]_2342-matt will , [Ava]_832-ava . Seven day payment terms ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , thank [you]_54-victoria . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt turn back to [my]_2342-matt desk and resume colour matching , reaching over to grab [my]_2342-matt phone when it starts dancing around [my]_2342-matt desk . Glancing at [my]_2342-matt screen , [I]_2342-matt nearly fall off [my]_2342-matt chair when [I]_2342-matt see the name [Jesse]_327-jesse flashing up . After a few seconds of staring , [my]_2342-matt brain finally gets the shock message and [my]_2342-matt heart commences sprint in [my]_2342-matt chest . What the hell ? [I]_2342-matt never stored [his]_327-jesse number – [Patrick]_327-jesse never got round to passing it to [me]_2342-matt and after handing the project over to [him]_327-jesse on Friday , [I]_2342-matt no longer needed it . [I]_2342-matt would n’t be going back , and [I]_2342-matt meant it . And even so , [I]_2342-matt would n’t have saved [his]_327-jesse number under [his]_327-jesse first name . [I]_2342-matt hold [my]_2342-matt phone in [my]_2342-matt hand , scanning [the office]_{290-the office} to see if the continuous ringing has drawn any attention from [[my]_2342-matt colleagues]_{437-my colleagues} . It has n’t . [I]_2342-matt let it ring off . What does [he]_327-jesse want ? [I]_2342-matt make for [[Patrick]_327-jesse ’s office]_{290-the office} to ask if [he]_327-jesse ’s notified [Mr Ward]_327-jesse of the change in arrangements , but then it rings again , halting [me]_2342-matt in [my]_2342-matt tracks . [I]_2342-matt take a steady breath and connect the call . If [Patrick]_327-jesse has n’t advised [him]_327-jesse yet , then [I]_2342-matt will . And if it does n’t suit , it ’s bad luck . [I]_2342-matt make a rubbish job of convincing [myself]_2342-matt that [I]_2342-matt ’ve passed the contract over because [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s more suitable for [the project]_{438-the project} . [I]_2342-matt know damn well that ’s only half the reason . ‘ Hello . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say , stamping [my]_2342-matt foot a little for sounding apprehensive in [my]_2342-matt greeting . [I]_2342-matt was aiming for sure and confident . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[2342-matt] [His]_327-jesse husky voice has the same impact on [my]_2342-matt weak senses as it did on Friday . But at least over the phone [he]_327-jesse ca n’t see [me]_2342-matt physically trembling . ‘ Who ’s speaking ? ’_[327-jesse] There . That sounded better – professional , business - like and steady . [He]_327-jesse laughs lightly , and it throws [me]_2342-matt completely off guard . ‘ Now , [I]_327-jesse know [you]_832-ava already know the answer to that question because [my]_327-jesse name came up on [your]_832-ava phone , ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt cringe on the spot . ‘ Trying to play it cool ? ’_[2342-matt] Oh , the arrogant arse ! How does [he]_327-jesse know that ? But then realisation dawns on [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_832-ava added [yourself]_832-ava to [my]_2342-matt contacts list ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt gasp . When did [he]_327-jesse do that ? [I]_2342-matt mentally sprint through [our]_439-our meeting , settling on [my]_2342-matt visit to [the toilet]_{440-the toilet} when [I]_2342-matt left [my]_2342-matt portfolio and phone on the table . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]_327-jesse went through [my]_2342-matt phone ! ‘ [I]_327-jesse need to be able to get hold of [you]_441-you . ’_[327-jesse] Oh , no . [Patrick]_327-jesse , obviously , has n’t told [him]_327-jesse . Nevertheless , [you]_441-you do n’t go around snooping through strangers phones . [He]_327-jesse really is very self - assured . And storing it under [Jesse]_327-jesse ? That ’s a bit familiar . ‘ [Patrick]_327-jesse should have contacted [you]_441-you , ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt coolly inform [him]_327-jesse . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] afraid [I]_2342-matt ’m unable to assist [you]_441-you , but [Patrick]_327-jesse will be more than happy to help . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Patrick]_327-jesse has been in contact , ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse replies . [I]_2342-matt sag in relief but then frown . Why is [he]_327-jesse calling [me]_2342-matt then ? ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] sure [he]_327-jesse will be happy to help , but [I]_2342-matt ’m less than happy to accept it . ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt mouth gapes . Who does [he]_327-jesse think [he]_327-jesse is ? [He]_327-jesse ’s called to tell [me]_2342-matt [he]_327-jesse ’s not happy ? Oh , [this man]_327-jesse is way past arrogant . [I]_2342-matt close [my]_2342-matt gaping mouth . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sorry to hear that . ’ [I]_327-jesse sound less than sorry ; [I]_327-jesse sound irritated . ‘_[327-jesse] Are [you]_327-jesse ? ’ And [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] thrown again . No , [I]_2342-matt ’m not sorry . But [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not about to tell [him]_327-jesse that . ‘ Yes , [I]_2342-matt am . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt lie . [I]_2342-matt want to add that [I]_2342-matt could never work with an arrogant , good looking swine like [him]_327-jesse , but [I]_2342-matt refrain . That would n’t be very professional . [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_327-jesse sigh . ‘ [I]_327-jesse do n’t think [you]_442-you are , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [My]_2342-matt name sounds like velvet rolling from [his]_327-jesse lips , causing a familiar shudder to course through [me]_2342-matt . How does [he]_327-jesse know [I]_2342-matt ’m not sorry ? ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt think [you]_442-you ’re avoiding [me]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse adds . [I]_2342-matt ’m going to dislocate [my]_2342-matt jaw at this rate . [He]_327-jesse ’s right . [He]_327-jesse sparks some very unwelcome feelings in [me]_2342-matt , and the fact [I]_2342-matt know [he]_327-jesse ’s involved with [someone else]_{2416-someone else} has not helped [one iota]_{2417-one iota} . ‘_[2342-matt] Why would [I]_2342-matt do that ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask cockily . That should shut [him]_327-jesse up . ‘_[2342-matt] Well , because [you]_442-you ’re attracted to [me]_442-you . ’_[442-you] ‘ Excuse [me]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt splutter . [His]_327-jesse self - assuredness knows no bounds . Has [he]_327-jesse no shame ? The fact that [he]_327-jesse ’s bang on the money is way beside the point . [You]_443-you would have to be blind , deaf and numb not to be attracted to [this man]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse ’s the epitome of male perfection and , quite clearly , [he]_327-jesse knows it . [He]_327-jesse sighs . ‘ [I]_327-jesse said … ’_[327-jesse] ‘ Yes , [I]_2342-matt heard [you]_442-you , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt interrupt [him]_327-jesse . ‘ [I]_2342-matt just ca n’t believe [you]_442-you said it . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt slump in [my]_2342-matt chair . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never known anything quite like it . [I]_2342-matt ’m completely stunned . [The man]_2342-matt has a significant other , and [he]_2342-matt ’s flirting on the end of the phone with [me]_2342-matt ? What [a player]_{2418-a player} ! [I]_2342-matt need to turn this conversation back around to business and get off of the phone quickly . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt apologise for not being available to assist with [your]_445-your work . ’ [I]_327-jesse blurt and hang up , staring down at [my]_327-jesse phone . That was really quite rude and extremely unprofessional , but [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] completely staggered by [his]_327-jesse forwardness . Passing the contract over to [Patrick]_327-jesse is looking more and more sensible by the minute . A text arrives . [I]_2342-matt notice [you]_446-you did n’t deny it . [You]_446-you should know the feeling ’s mutual . Jx Shitting fucking hell ! [I]_2342-matt slap [my]_2342-matt hand over [my]_2342-matt lips to stop [my]_2342-matt mental explicit language from falling out of [my]_2342-matt mouth . No , [I]_2342-matt did n’t deny it . And [he]_327-jesse ’s attracted to [me]_2342-matt ? [I]_2342-matt ’m a bit young for [him]_327-jesse , or is [he]_327-jesse too old for [me]_{80-holy moses} ? A kiss ? What a cocky arse ! [I]_{80-holy moses} do n’t reply – [I]_{80-holy moses} have no idea what to say to that . Instead , [I]_{80-holy moses} throw [my]_{80-holy moses} phone in [my]_{80-holy moses} bag and go to meet [Kate]_2557-kate for lunch . ‘_{[80-holy moses]} [Holy Moses]_{80-holy moses} ! ’ [Kate]_2557-kate exclaims , staring down at [my]_{80-holy moses} phone . [Her]_2557-kate red hair is swinging from side to side in its ponytail as [she]_2557-kate shakes [her]_2557-kate head . ‘_{[80-holy moses]} Did [you]_{80-holy moses} reply ? ’ [She]_2557-kate looks up at [me]_{80-holy moses} expectantly . ‘_{[80-holy moses]} Christ , no . ’ [I]_{80-holy moses} laugh . What would [she]_2557-kate recommend [I]_{80-holy moses} say to that ? It ’s got [me]_{80-holy moses} completely stumped . ‘_{[80-holy moses]} And [he]_447-my ’s got [a girlfriend]_{2411-a girlfriend} ? ’ ‘_[447-my] Yes . ’ [I]_447-my nod , raising [my]_447-my eyebrows . [She]_2557-kate places [my]_447-my phone back on the table . ‘_[447-my] That ’s a shame . ’ Is it ? It actually makes things a lot easier . It totally trumps the looks and reactions [he]_447-my spikes in [me]_447-my . [Kate]_2557-kate ’s far more daring than [me]_447-my . [She]_2557-kate would have replied with something shocking and suggestive , and probably made [his]_447-my jaw drop . [That girl]_2557-kate would give [any bona - fide man - eater]_{2419-any bona - fide man - eater} a run for [their]_{2419-any bona - fide man - eater} money . Not slow in coming forward , [she]_2557-kate mostly scared [men]_2420-men off on the first date – only the strongest survive . [Kate]_2557-kate ’s long , red hair is as vibrant as [her]_2557-kate personality . [She]_2557-kate ’s confident , strong minded and determined . ‘_[447-my] Not really , ’ [I]_447-my muse , picking up [my]_447-my cheeky lunchtime wine and taking a sip . ‘_[447-my] Anyway , it ’s only been four weeks since [Matt]_2342-matt and [I]_2342-matt split up . [I]_2342-matt do n’t want [any men in [my]_2342-matt life]_{449-any men in my life} , not in any capacity . ’ [I]_2342-matt like the fact that [I]_2342-matt sound resolute . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m enjoying being single and carefree for the first time ever . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt add . And it really does feel like the first time ever . [I]_2342-matt was with [Matt]_2342-matt for four years and previous to that , [I]_2342-matt was in a three year relationship with [Adam]_81-adam . ‘ Have [you]_81-adam seen [the prick]_{2421-the prick} ? ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate face distorts into one of disgust at the mention of [[my]_2342-matt ex]_{450-my ex} ’s name . [She]_2557-kate ca n’t stand [Matt]_2342-matt and was delighted when [I]_2342-matt split up with [him]_2342-matt . [Kate]_2557-kate catching [him]_2342-matt at it with [a work colleague]_{451-a work colleague} in [a taxi]_{452-a taxi} only confirmed what [I]_2342-matt already knew . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know why [I]_2342-matt ignored it for so long . When [I]_2342-matt confronted [him]_2342-matt calmly , [he]_2342-matt fell apart with apologies and nearly fell over when [I]_2342-matt told [him]_2342-matt [I]_2342-matt was n’t bothered . [I]_2342-matt really was n’t , much to [my]_2342-matt own surprise . The relationship had run its course , and [Matt]_2342-matt was of the same opinion . It ’s all been very amicable , much to [Kate]_2557-kate ’s disgust . [She]_2557-kate wants flying plates and police intervention . ‘ No . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt confirm . ‘ [We]_454-we are having fun , are n’t [we]_454-we ? ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate grins as [the waitress]_{453-the waitress} approaches with [our]_454-we lunch . ‘ [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] just going to the loo . ’ [I]_2557-kate get up , leaving [Kate]_2557-kate dowsing [her]_2557-kate chips in mayonnaise . After using the toilet , [I]_2557-kate stand in the mirror re - applying [my]_2557-kate lip gloss and fluffing [my]_2557-kate hair . It ’s behaving today , so it ’s down and tumbling all over [my]_2557-kate shoulders . [I]_2557-kate brush down [my]_2557-kate black capri pants and pick a few hairs off [my]_2557-kate cream blouse . [My]_2557-kate phone rings as [I]_2557-kate make [my]_2557-kate way back to [the bar]_{361-the bar} . [I]_2557-kate drag it from [my]_2557-kate bag , rolling [my]_2557-kate eyes when [I]_2557-kate see it ’s [him]_327-jesse again . [He]_327-jesse ’s probably wondering where [my]_2557-kate reply to [his]_327-jesse inappropriate text message is . [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] not playing games with [him]_327-jesse . ‘ Reject . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt huff at [my]_2342-matt phone , stabbing at the red button and stuffing it in [my]_2342-matt bag as [I]_2342-matt continue down [the corridor]_{2361-the corridor} . ‘ Oh God , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] Sorry ! ’ [I]_2342-matt splutter , slamming straight into a chest . This chest is a very firm chest , and the intoxicating fresh water scent that ’s washing over [me]_2342-matt is way too familiar . [My]_2342-matt legs refuse to move , and [I]_2342-matt know what [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to see if [I]_2342-matt look up . [His]_327-jesse arm is already wrapped around [my]_2342-matt waist to steady [me]_2342-matt , [my]_2342-matt eyes level with the top of [his]_327-jesse chest . [I]_2342-matt can see [his]_327-jesse heart beating through [his]_327-jesse shirt . ‘ [Reject]_82-reject ? ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse says softly . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] wounded . ’ [I]_327-jesse push [myself]_327-jesse away from [his]_327-jesse grasp , attempting to regain [my]_327-jesse composure . [He]_327-jesse looks stunning , wearing a charcoal suit and crisp white shirt . [I]_327-jesse laugh at [myself]_327-jesse and [my]_327-jesse inability to get [my]_327-jesse eyes past [his]_327-jesse upper body for fear of being hypnotised by the potency of [this man]_327-jesse ’s sludgy gaze . ‘_[327-jesse] Is something funny ? ’ [he]_327-jesse asks . [I]_2342-matt suspect [he]_327-jesse ’s frowning at [my]_2342-matt random outburst , but because [I]_2342-matt refuse to look at [him]_327-jesse , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t confirm that . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry . [I]_2342-matt was n’t looking where [I]_2342-matt was going . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt side step [him]_2342-matt , but [he]_2342-matt grabs [my]_2342-matt elbow , halting [my]_2342-matt escape . ‘ Just tell [me]_2342-matt one thing before [you]_2342-matt leave , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt voice prickles at [my]_2342-matt senses , and [I]_2342-matt find [my]_2342-matt eyes travelling up the leanness of [his]_2342-matt body until [our]_457-our stares meet . [His]_2342-matt face is serious , but still stunning . ‘ How loud do [you]_2342-matt think [you]_2342-matt ’ll scream when [I]_2342-matt fuck [you]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] WHAT ? ‘ Excuse [me]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt manage to splutter around the lead that is [my]_2342-matt tongue . [He]_2342-matt half smiles at [my]_2342-matt shock , placing [his]_2342-matt index finger under [my]_2342-matt chin and pushing [my]_2342-matt gaping mouth shut . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll leave that one with [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt releases [my]_2342-matt elbow . [I]_2342-matt flash [him]_2342-matt a displeased scowl before [I]_2342-matt walk back to the table as steadily as [my]_2342-matt boneless legs will allow . Did [I]_2342-matt really just hear [him]_2342-matt right ? [I]_2342-matt slide [myself]_2342-matt onto the chair , immediately glugging down [my]_2342-matt wine to try and moisten [my]_2342-matt parched mouth . When [I]_2342-matt look up at [Kate]_2557-kate , [she]_2557-kate ’s openmouthed , exposing half chewed chips and bread . It ’s not attractive . ‘ Who the fuck is that ? ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate mumbles around [her]_2557-kate food . ‘ Who ? ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt look around , simulating unawareness . ‘ [Him]_2342-matt , ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate points with [her]_2557-kate fork . ‘ Look ! ’_[2557-kate] ‘ [I]_2342-matt saw , and [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt grate . Drop it ! ‘ [He]_2342-matt ’s coming over . [You]_2342-matt sure [you]_2342-matt do n’t know [him]_2342-matt ? Fuck , [he]_2342-matt ’s hot ! ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate looks at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt shrug . Please , go away . Go away , go away ! [I]_2342-matt pick up a stray piece of lettuce from [my]_2342-matt BLT and start nibbling at the edges . [I]_2342-matt ’m tense all over , and [I]_458-ladies know [he]_2342-matt ’s getting closer because [Kate]_2557-kate ’s gaze is lifting upwards to accommodate [his]_2342-matt height . [I]_458-ladies wish [she]_2557-kate would shut [her]_2557-kate bloody gaping mouth ! ‘_[458-ladies] [Ladies]_458-ladies , ’ [His]_2342-matt low , throaty voice prickles at [my]_458-ladies skin , doing nothing to relax [me]_458-ladies . ‘_[458-ladies] Hi , ’ [Kate]_2557-kate spits , chewing rapidly to rid [her]_2557-kate mouth of the obstruction to speech . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [he]_2342-matt prompts . [I]_832-ava wave [my]_832-ava piece of lettuce at [him]_2342-matt to acknowledge [his]_2342-matt presence but without having to look at [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt laughs lightly . Out the corner of [my]_832-ava eye , [I]_832-ava see [his]_2342-matt body slowly lowering until [he]_2342-matt ’s squatting at the table next to [me]_832-ava , but [I]_832-ava still refuse to look at [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt rests one arm on the table , and [I]_832-ava hear [Kate]_2557-kate cough and splutter on the remnants of [her]_2557-kate food . ‘_[832-ava] That ’s better , ’ [he]_2342-matt says . [I]_2342-matt can feel [his]_2342-matt breath on [my]_2342-matt cheek . Reluctantly , [I]_2342-matt look up through [my]_2342-matt lashes and find [Kate]_2557-kate gawking at [me]_2342-matt – all wide eyed and yes - he’s - still - there - talk - [you]_2342-matt - idiot ! [I]_2342-matt can think of nothing to say . Once again , [this man]_2342-matt has rendered [me]_2342-matt useless . [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_2342-matt sigh . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse , pleased to meet [you]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt see [his]_2342-matt hand reach across the table . [Kate]_2557-kate takes it eagerly . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate splutters . ‘ Oh ! [Jesse]_327-jesse , ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt can feel [her]_2557-kate glaring at [me]_2342-matt accusingly . ‘ [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate . [Ava]_832-ava mentioned [you]_2557-kate have [a posh hotel]_{459-a posh hotel} . ’ [I]_832-ava scowl across the table . ‘_[832-ava] Oh , [she]_2557-kate mentioned [me]_2342-matt ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks softly . [I]_2557-kate do n’t have to look at [him]_2342-matt to know [he]_2342-matt ’s displaying a smug , satisfied face at this news . ‘_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt wonder what else [she]_2557-kate ’s mentioned . ’ ‘_[2557-kate] Oh , this and that , ’ [Kate]_2557-kate flips casually , but it ’s too late to back track on [her]_2557-kate previous statement . [I]_2557-kate throw [her]_2557-kate [my]_2557-kate filthiest look . ‘_[2557-kate] This and that . ’ [he]_2342-matt counters softly . ‘_[2557-kate] Yes , this and that . ’ [Kate]_2557-kate affirms . [Fed]_83-fed up of the pointless little exchange that [they]_83-fed both seem to be enjoying , [I]_2557-kate take the situation into [my]_2557-kate own hands , turning [my]_2557-kate eyes onto [him]_2342-matt . ‘_[2557-kate] It was nice to see [you]_2342-matt , goodbye . ’ [Our]_2423-our eyes latch immediately , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] ruined by [his]_2342-matt sludgy green eyes , all hooded , dark and demanding . [I]_2342-matt can feel [his]_2342-matt breath waver and it draws [my]_2342-matt eyes away from [his]_2342-matt , but only to [his]_2342-matt mouth . [His]_2342-matt lips are moist , slightly parted , and [his]_2342-matt tongue slowly creeps out of [his]_2342-matt mouth , running a leisurely path across [his]_2342-matt bottom lip . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t take [my]_2342-matt eyes off [him]_2342-matt . Without any encouragement at all , [my]_2342-matt own tongue responds with a happy little adventure across [my]_2342-matt bottom lip . It betrays [my]_2342-matt effort to appear emotionless … unaffected . [I]_2342-matt ’m so affected . This is crazy . This … whatever this is … it ’s just crazy . [He]_2342-matt ’s over confident and arrogant , but probably has the right to be . [I]_2342-matt desperately do not want to be affected by [this man]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Nice ? ’ [He]_2342-matt leans forward , grasping [my]_2342-matt thigh , causing hot liquid lava to flood [my]_2342-matt groin . [I]_2342-matt shift [my]_2342-matt legs , squeezing [my]_2342-matt thighs together to restrict the pulsation that threatens to break out into a full , hard throb . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt could think of lots of words , [Ava]_832-ava . Nice is not [one of [them]_461-them]_{460-one of them} . [I]_2342-matt ’ll leave [you]_{462-good lord} to consider [my]_2342-matt question . ’ Oh , [good Lord]_{462-good lord} ! [I]_2342-matt gulp as [he]_2342-matt leans into [me]_2342-matt at half height , pressing [his]_2342-matt damp lips against [my]_2342-matt cheek , holding [his]_2342-matt kiss forever . [I]_2342-matt clench [my]_2342-matt teeth in an effort not to turn into [him]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Soon . ’ [he]_2342-matt whispers . It ’s a promise . [He]_2342-matt releases [my]_2342-matt tense thigh and rises . ‘_[2342-matt] It was nice to meet [you]_{462-good lord} , [Kate]_2557-kate . ’ ‘_[2557-kate] Hmmm , [you]_{462-good lord} too . ’ [she]_2557-kate responds thoughtfully . [He]_2342-matt strides off towards the back of [the bar]_{361-the bar} . Good God , [he]_2342-matt walks with purpose and it ’s sexy as hell . [I]_2342-matt close [my]_2342-matt eyes to mentally gather [my]_2342-matt wits , which are currently dispersed all over the bar floor . It ’s completely hopeless . [I]_2342-matt turn back to [Kate]_2557-kate , finding accusing bright blues gawking at [me]_2342-matt like [I]_2342-matt ’ve just sprouted fangs . [Her]_2557-kate eyebrows hit [her]_2557-kate hairline . ‘_[2342-matt] Fuck [me]_2342-matt , that was intense ! ’ [she]_2557-kate spits across the table . ‘_[2342-matt] Was it ? ’ [I]_{462-good lord} start pushing [my]_{462-good lord} sandwich around [my]_{462-good lord} plate . ‘_{[462-good lord]} [You]_{462-good lord} better stop with the blah - fucking - zay shit now , or [I]_2342-matt ’ll shove this fork so far up [your]_{462-good lord} arse , [you]_{462-good lord} ’ll be chewing metal . What question are [you]_{462-good lord} considering ? ’ [Her]_2557-kate tone is fierce . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know , ’ [I]_463-i brush [her]_2557-kate off . ‘_[463-i] [He]_463-i ’s attractive , arrogant and has [a girlfriend]_{2411-a girlfriend} . ’ [I]_463-i try for vague . [Kate]_2557-kate lets out a long , over amplified whistle . ‘_[463-i] [I]_2342-matt ’ve never experienced that before . [I]_2342-matt ’ve heard of it but never witnessed it . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] What are [you]_{462-good lord} on about ? ’ [I]_832-ava snap . [She]_2557-kate leans across the table , all serious . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , the sexual tension batting between [you]_{462-good lord} and [that man]_{465-that man} was so fucking super charged , even [I]_2342-matt was horny ! ’ [She]_2557-kate laughs . ‘_{[465-that man]} [He]_{465-that man} wants [you]_{462-good lord} bad . [He]_{465-that man} could n’t have made it any clearer if [he]_{465-that man} ’d have spread [you]_{462-good lord} on that pool table . ’ [She]_{462-good lord} points , and [I]_{462-good lord} actually look . ‘_{[462-good lord]} [You]_{462-good lord} ’re imagining things . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt snort . [I]_2342-matt know [she]_{462-good lord} ’s not , but what can [I]_2342-matt say ? ‘ [I]_{462-good lord} ’ve seen the text , and now [I]_{462-good lord} ’ve seen [the man in the flesh]_{2425-the man in the flesh} . [He]_{2425-the man in the flesh} ’s hot … for [an older guy]_{2426-my best friend} . ’_{[462-good lord]} [She]_{462-good lord} shrugs . ‘ [I]_{462-good lord} ’m_{[462-good lord]} not interested . ’ ‘_{[462-good lord]} Ha ! [You]_{462-good lord} keep telling [yourself]_{462-good lord} that . ’ [I]_2342-matt scowl across the table at [[my]_2342-matt best friend]_{2426-my best friend} . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt will . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Let [me]_2342-matt know how that works out for [you]_{462-good lord} . ’ [she]_{462-good lord} shoots back , rather flippantly . * * * [I]_{340-a man} return to [the office]_{279-the office} and spend the rest of the day achieving absolutely nothing . [I]_{340-a man} twiddle [my]_{340-a man} pen , visit [the toilet]_{440-the toilet} a dozen times and pretend to listen to [Tom]_60-tom harp on about Gay Pride and all things camp . [My]_{340-a man} phone has rung four times – all [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse – and [I]_{340-a man} ’ve rejected each and every call . [I]_{340-a man} ’m_{[340-a man]} staggered by [this man]_{340-a man} ’s persistence and confidence . How loud ? [I]_2342-matt ’m stunned ! [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] happy and enjoying [my]_2342-matt new found freedom , and [I]_2342-matt have no intention of derailing [my]_2342-matt plans to be single and carefree . [I]_2342-matt ’m not getting caught up with [a handsome stranger]_{2429-a handsome stranger} , no matter how handsome [he]_{2429-a handsome stranger} is . And oh , is [he]_{2429-a handsome stranger} mind meltingly delicious . Anyway , [he]_{2429-a handsome stranger} ’s way too old for [me]_2557-kate . And more importantly , [he]_{2429-a handsome stranger} ’s obviously taken . And that only reinforces the fact that [he]_{2429-a handsome stranger} ’s [an ultimate player]_{2429-a handsome stranger} . This is not the sort of man [I]_2557-kate need to be attracted to , damn [me]_2557-kate , especially after [Matt]_2342-matt and [his]_2342-matt infidelities . [I]_2557-kate need [a man]_{340-a man} , eventually , who ’ll be faithful , protective and look after [me]_2557-kate – preferably a bit nearer [my]_2557-kate age too . How old is [he]_{2429-a handsome stranger} ? [My]_2557-kate phone declares a text , making [me]_2557-kate jump and snapping [me]_2557-kate from [my]_2557-kate wandering thoughts . [I]_2557-kate already know who it is before [I]_2557-kate look . Being rejected is n’t very nice . Why wo n’t [you]_2430-you answer [my]_2557-kate calls ? Jx [I]_2557-kate laugh to [myself]_2557-kate , drawing the attention of [Victoria]_54-victoria , who ’s rummaging through the filing cabinet near [my]_2557-kate desk . [Her]_2557-kate perfectly plucked eyebrow arches . [I]_2557-kate do n’t suppose [he]_467-him is use to rejection . ‘_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate . ’ [I]_2557-kate offer , by way of an explanation . It seems to work , as [she]_2557-kate returns to sifting through the cabinet . It should be obvious why [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] not answering [my]_2342-matt bloody phone . [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to talk to [him]_467-him . [He]_467-him unnerves [me]_2342-matt , triggering too many reactions . And , quite frankly , [I]_2342-matt do n’t trust [my]_2342-matt body around [him]_467-him . It seems to respond to [his]_467-him presence with no prompt from [me]_2342-matt or [my]_2342-matt brain , and that could be very dangerous indeed . [My]_2342-matt phone rings again and [I]_2342-matt quickly reject it . Christ , give [me]_2342-matt a chance to reply ! Am [I]_2342-matt even going to reply ? [I]_2342-matt ’m never going to get rid of [him]_467-him . [I]_2342-matt need to be brutal . If [you]_2431-you need to discuss [your]_2431-you requirements , [you]_2431-you should be calling [Patrick]_327-jesse , not [me]_2342-matt . There . No sign off and definitely no kiss . [I]_2342-matt ’ve not said in so many words , but [he]_327-jesse should get the message . [I]_2342-matt put [my]_2342-matt phone down , all set on getting something done , but it chimes again . [I]_2342-matt pick it straight back up , grabbing [my]_2342-matt coffee with [my]_2342-matt spare hand as [I]_2342-matt do . [My]_2342-matt requirement is to make [you]_468-you scream . [I]_2342-matt do n’t think [Patrick]_327-jesse can help [me]_2342-matt there . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] gagging just thinking about it . That ’s a thought ... will [I]_2342-matt need to gag [you]_468-you ? [Jx]_84-jx [I]_2342-matt spray coffee all over [my]_2342-matt desk as [I]_2342-matt cough . The cheeky sod ! How brazen and unashamed can [a man]_{340-a man} be ? Does [he]_{340-a man} think [I]_2342-matt ’m easy or something ? [I]_{340-a man} switch [my]_{340-a man} phone to silent , chucking it down on [my]_{340-a man} desk in disgust . [I]_{340-a man} ’m_{[340-a man]} not even dignifying that with a response . Replying will only encourage [him]_{340-a man} . There ’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance , and [Jesse Ward triple]_327-jesse jumps that . [I]_2342-matt feel sorry for old pouty lips . Is [she]_470-she aware of [[her]_470-she man]_{340-a man} pursuing [young women]_{471-young women} ? [I]_2342-matt watch as [my]_2342-matt screen lights up again . [I]_2342-matt snatch it up , silencing it before it draws attention . [I]_2342-matt open [my]_2342-matt top drawer , drop it in and slam it shut on a huff . [He]_{340-a man} ’ll get the message . [I]_2342-matt make a meager attempt to carry on with some work , but [I]_2342-matt ’m far too distracted . Strange words – all having no place in work related correspondence – are appearing in [my]_2342-matt emails as [I]_2342-matt absentmindedly tap away at [my]_2342-matt keyboard . The office phone rings . Glancing up , [I]_2342-matt see [Sally]_54-victoria away from [her]_54-victoria desk , so [I]_2342-matt answer . ‘_[2342-matt] Good afternoon , [Rococo Union]_{8-rococo union} . ’ ‘_{[8-rococo union]} Do n’t hang up ! ’ [he]_{340-a man} blurts down the phone . [I]_832-ava sit up straight in [my]_832-ava chair . Even [his]_{340-a man} urgent voice prickles [my]_832-ava skin . Get the message , [he]_{340-a man} will not . [He]_{340-a man} ’s really quite thick skinned . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt ’m really very sorry . ’_[832-ava] ‘ [You]_832-ava are ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t hide the surprise in [my]_2342-matt voice . [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse does n’t look like the kind of man to offer apologies [willy - nilly]_{85-willy - nilly} . ‘ Yes , really , [I]_327-jesse am . [I]_327-jesse ’ve made [you]_832-ava feel uncomfortable . [I]_327-jesse ’ve overstepped the mark by a long shot . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse sounds sincere enough . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’ve distressed [you]_832-ava . Please accept [my]_327-jesse apology . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt would n’t say [I]_2342-matt was distressed by [his]_327-jesse bold behavior and comments . Shocked would be more apt . [Some people]_{472-some people} might even admire [his]_327-jesse confidence , [I]_2342-matt suppose . ‘ Oh , okay , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say hesitantly . ‘ So , [you]_832-ava do n’t want to make [me]_2342-matt scream or gag [me]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [you]_832-ava sound disappointed . ’_[327-jesse] ‘ Not at all , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blurt . There ’s a brief silence before [he]_327-jesse speaks again . ‘ Can [we]_2432-we start again ? [I]_327-jesse ’ll keep it professional , of course . ’_[327-jesse] Oh no . [He]_327-jesse might be sorry , but that does n’t extinguish the affect [he]_327-jesse has on [me]_2342-matt . And it does n’t escape [my]_2342-matt thoughts that this is just a ploy to get [me]_2342-matt back on side so [he]_327-jesse can re - commence pursuing [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [Mr Ward]_327-jesse , [I]_{69-the right person for this job} ’m_{[69-the right person for this job]} really not [the right person for this job]_{69-the right person for this job} , ’ [I]_2342-matt swivel in [my]_2342-matt chair to check if [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s in [[his]_327-jesse office]_{279-the office} . [He]_327-jesse is . ‘_[2342-matt] Can [I]_2342-matt transfer [you]_474-you to [Patrick]_327-jesse ? ’ [I]_327-jesse push , mentally pleading for [him]_327-jesse to take the hint . ‘_[327-jesse] It ’s [Jesse]_327-jesse . [You]_474-you make [me]_2342-matt feel old when [you]_474-you call [me]_2342-matt [Mr Ward]_327-jesse . ’ [he]_327-jesse grumbles . [I]_327-jesse slam [my]_327-jesse mouth shut when [my]_327-jesse lips part and that question nearly falls out . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] still intrigued on that subject , but [I]_2342-matt ’m not going to ask again . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , if it makes [you]_474-you feel better , [you]_474-you can deal with [John]_832-ava . What would be the next stage ? ’ Oh ? Would it make [me]_832-ava feel better ? [Big guy]_{315-big guy} has intimidation in equal measure to Wards boldness . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] not sure [I]_2342-matt would feel any more comfortable with [his]_832-ava offer to replace [himself]_832-ava with [John]_832-ava . But the fact [he]_832-ava ’s prepared to do this , tells [me]_2342-matt [he]_832-ava really does want [me]_2342-matt to do the designs and that , [I]_2342-matt suppose , is a compliment . [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} will be a great addition to [my]_2342-matt portfolio . ‘ [I]_2342-matt would need to measure [the rooms]_{2379-the rooms} and draw up some schemes . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt spit the words out impulsively . ‘ Perfect , ’_[832-ava] [He]_832-ava sounds relieved . ‘ [I]_832-ava can get [John]_832-ava to take [you]_832-ava around [the rooms]_{2379-the rooms} . [He]_832-ava can hold [your]_832-ava tape measure . Tomorrow ? ’_[832-ava] Tomorrow ? [He]_832-ava ’s keen . As it happens , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t . [I]_2342-matt ’ve got various appointments dotted across the day , and Wednesday ’s out too . ‘ [I]_832-ava ca n’t do tomorrow or Wednesday , [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] sorry . ’ ‘_[832-ava] Oh , ’ [he]_832-ava says quietly . ‘_[832-ava] Do [you]_476-you do evenings ? ’ Oh , do [I]_2342-matt ? Well , [I]_2342-matt do n’t like doing evenings , but [many clients]_{2436-many clients} work nine to five jobs and are unavailable during the working day . [I]_2342-matt prefer evenings to weekends . [I]_2342-matt never get dragged into weekend appointments . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt can do tomorrow evening . ’ [I]_2342-matt blurt , turning the page in [my]_2342-matt diary to tomorrow . [My]_2342-matt last appointment is at five with [Mrs Kent]_{86-mrs kent} . ‘_[2342-matt] Seven - ish ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask , already pencilling [him]_832-ava in . ‘_[2342-matt] Perfect . [I]_2342-matt would say that [I]_2342-matt ’ll look forward to it , but [I]_2342-matt ca n’t look forward to it because [I]_2342-matt wo n’t be seeing [you]_476-you . ’ [I]_2342-matt ca n’t see [him]_832-ava , but [I]_2342-matt know [he]_832-ava ’s probably grinning . [I]_2342-matt can hear it in [his]_832-ava tone . [He]_832-ava just ca n’t help [himself]_832-ava . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll let [John]_832-ava know to expect [you]_476-you at seven . ’ ‘_[832-ava] -ish , ’ [I]_832-ava add . [I]_832-ava do n’t know how long it ’ll take [me]_832-ava to get out of [the city]_{2326-the city} at that time of day . ‘_[832-ava] -ish , ’ [he]_832-ava confirms . ‘_[832-ava] Thank [you]_476-you , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ ‘_[476-you] [You]_476-you ’re welcome , [Mr Ward]_327-jesse . Goodbye . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hang up and commence tapping [my]_2342-matt fingernail on [my]_2342-matt front tooth . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse calls from [[his]_327-jesse office]_{279-the office} . ‘ Yes ? ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt swing [my]_2342-matt chair to face [him]_327-jesse . ‘ [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , [they]_2439-they want [you]_{86-mrs kent} , flower . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse shrugs , returning to [his]_327-jesse computer screen . No , [he]_327-jesse wants [me]_2342-matt . Chapter 4 [I]_2342-matt fly through Tuesdays appointments , leaving [[Mrs Kent]_{86-mrs kent} ’s lovely new town house]_{308-the place} at just past six . [Mrs Kent]_{86-mrs kent} is [the extremely high maintenance wife of [Mr Kent]_{87-mr kent}]_{86-mrs kent} – [MD of Kent Yacht Builders]_{88-md of kent yacht builders} – and [this Kensington house]_{308-the place} is [[their]_{308-the place} third home]_{308-the place} in four years . [I]_2342-matt ’ve re - designed the interior on all of [them]_{308-the place} . No sooner are the works completed , [Mrs Kent]_{86-mrs kent} decides [she]_{86-mrs kent} ca n’t envisage growing old there – [she]_{86-mrs kent} ’s seventy , if a day – so [the house]_{308-the place} is on [the market]_{479-the market} , sold and [I]_2342-matt ’m starting from scratch on [their]_{308-the place} new abode . [I]_2342-matt was slightly paranoid when [they]_{308-the place} up sticks , selling [the first home that [I]_2342-matt worked on only a month after works were completed]_{2440-the first home that i worked on only a month after works were completed} , especially as it was [my]_2342-matt first contract when [I]_2342-matt started working for [Patrick]_327-jesse . But [she]_{86-mrs kent} was soon scheduling an appointment for [me]_2342-matt to view [[their]_{308-the place} new place]_281-home , crooning down the phone , “ [Ava]_832-ava dear , it ’s not [you]_832-ava . It just did n’t feel like [home]_281-home . ” So , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] now on [the third Kent residence]_281-home , the specification being the same as [the last two houses , which is convenient because [I]_2342-matt do n’t]_{481-the last two houses , which is convenient because i do n’t} have to source any freestanding furniture . It also softens the blow on [Mr Kent]_{87-mr kent} ’s wallet . [I]_2342-matt jump in [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} , setting off for [The Surrey Hills]_{483-the surrey hills} . [I]_2342-matt did n’t divulge to [Kate]_2557-kate the reason why [I]_2342-matt ’m going to be [home]_281-home late . Telling [her]_2557-kate would only fuel [her]_2557-kate curiosity as to why [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] returning to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . [I]_2342-matt would , of course , lie and feed [her]_2557-kate the same crap that [I]_2342-matt ’ve fed [myself]_2342-matt – that the addition of [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} ’s works would benefit [my]_2342-matt portfolio . The magnet of lean loveliness has zero influence on [my]_2342-matt decision – none at all . [I]_2342-matt stop at the intercom this time , but as [I]_2342-matt press to release [my]_2342-matt window , the gates start opening . [I]_2342-matt look up to the camera and figure [John]_832-ava must be waiting . [I]_2342-matt did say seven - ish and its five past now . [I]_2342-matt drive through the gates , up [the gravel road]_{298-the lane} until [I]_2342-matt reach [the courtyard]_{307-the courtyard} . [John]_832-ava ’s waiting on the steps for [me]_2342-matt , filling the double doorway , sunglasses firmly in place . ‘ Good evening , [John]_832-ava . ’_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt greet , grabbing [my]_2342-matt folder and bag . Will [he]_832-ava speak today ? No , [he]_832-ava nods and turns , walking back into [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , leaving [me]_2342-matt to follow [him]_832-ava into [the bar]_{361-the bar} . It ’s busier than when [I]_2342-matt was last [here]_314-here . It ’s probably the time of day . ‘ [Mario]_89-mario ? ’_[832-ava] [he]_832-ava rumbles . [A little man]_{489-a little man} pops up from behind [the bar]_{361-the bar} . ‘ Yes ? ’_{[489-a little man]} ‘ Get [Miss O’Shea]_832-ava a drink , please . ’_[832-ava] [John]_832-ava turns [his]_832-ava concealed eyes back to [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_832-ava ’ll be back . [Jesse]_327-jesse wants a quick word . ’_[832-ava] ‘ With [me]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blurt , blushing slightly at [my]_2342-matt abruptness . ‘ No , with [me]_2342-matt , ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Is [he]_832-ava staying in [[his]_832-ava office]_{279-the office} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask nervously . [I]_2342-matt ’m asking too many questions about something so trivial , but [he]_832-ava assured [me]_490-girl [he]_832-ava would leave [me]_490-girl and [John]_832-ava to it . Even the thought of [the man]_832-ava reduces [me]_490-girl to a nervous wreck . [I]_490-girl never thought [I]_490-girl would think this , but [I]_490-girl do actually feel more comfortable with [the big guy]_832-ava . For a start , [I]_490-girl trust [myself]_490-girl with [him]_832-ava . [John]_832-ava ’s lips twitch , clearly trying to fight a smile . [I]_490-girl inwardly groan . [He]_832-ava knows . ‘_[490-girl] S’all good , [girl]_490-girl . ’ [He]_832-ava turns , giving [Mario]_89-mario a funny look , which [the little barman]_{2442-the little barman} acknowledges with a flick of [his]_832-ava cloth . What ’s that all about ? [John]_832-ava nods sternly before striding out , leaving [me]_490-girl with [Mario]_89-mario at [the bar]_{361-the bar} . [I]_490-girl gaze around , noticing [a woman laughing with [a middle aged man at a table nearby]_{2445-a middle aged man at a table nearby}]_{2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby} . It ’s [the woman [I]_490-girl saw in [the toilets]_{2363-the toilets} when [I]_490-girl was here last Friday]_{2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby} . [She]_{2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby} ’s wearing a black trouser suit and looks extremely professional . [She]_{2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby} must be staying a while – business , maybe ? The man accompanying [her]_{2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby} rises from the table , putting [his]_832-ava hand out politely . [She]_{2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby} accepts it with a smile as [she]_{2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby} stands , letting [him]_832-ava tuck [her]_{2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby} under [his]_832-ava arm and lead [her]_{2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby} out of [the bar]_{361-the bar} as [they]_2447-they chat and giggle . [I]_490-girl perch on a bar stool to wait for [John]_832-ava , taking [my]_490-girl phone out to check for messages and missed calls . ‘_[490-girl] [You]_491-you would like wine ? ’ [I]_2342-matt look up , finding [the little barman]_{2442-the little barman} smiling at [me]_2342-matt . [He]_{2442-the little barman} speaks with an accent , and [I]_2342-matt conclude that [he]_{2442-the little barman} ’s Italian . [He]_{2442-the little barman} ’s very short and rather sweet , with [his]_{2442-the little barman} mustache and receding black hair . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt could do with one , but [I]_2342-matt ’m driving . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Ah ! ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt exclaims . ‘ Just a small one , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt holds a small wine glass up , drawing a line across the middle with [his]_2342-matt finger . Oh , sod it ! [I]_2342-matt should n’t drink on the job , but [my]_2342-matt nerves are shot to bits . [He]_2342-matt ’s in [this building]_{492-this building} somewhere and that ’s unsettling enough . [I]_2342-matt nod on a smile . ‘ Thank [you]_493-you . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt holds up a bottle of Zinfandel . [I]_2342-matt nod again . ‘ [Your]_493-you dress is very , urhh … how [you]_493-you say ... striking ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt pours a little more than half a glass . In fact , it ’s full . [I]_2342-matt look down at [my]_2342-matt black , structured , figure hugging dress . Yes , [I]_2342-matt suppose striking would be a word [you]_493-you could use . It ’s [my]_2342-matt if - all - else - fails dress . [I]_2342-matt always feel nice in it . [I]_2342-matt ignore the little voice in [my]_2342-matt head asking [me]_2342-matt if [I]_2342-matt wore it in the hopes of seeing [Ward]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt snap a lid on that thought immediately and laugh at [Mario]_89-mario ’s careful choice of words , taking the glass as [he]_89-mario passes it over the bar on a smile . [I]_2342-matt think [he]_89-mario means tight . It shows every curve [I]_2342-matt have . Considering [I]_2342-matt ’m a size ten , there are not many , but if [I]_2342-matt live with [Kate]_2557-kate for much longer , that may change . ‘_[2342-matt] Thank [you]_493-you . ’ [I]_832-ava smile . ‘_[832-ava] Pleasure , [Miss O’Shea]_832-ava . [I]_2342-matt leave [you]_493-you in peace . ’ [He]_89-mario picks up [his]_89-mario cloth and starts wiping the granite counter under the optics . [I]_2342-matt sip [my]_2342-matt wine as [I]_2342-matt wait for [John]_832-ava . It goes down too well and before [I]_2342-matt know it , [I]_2342-matt ’ve drank the lot . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t wait to get [home]_281-home so [I]_2342-matt can dig into the bottle being kept chilled in the fridge . ‘_[2342-matt] Hello . ’ [I]_2342-matt swivel on [my]_2342-matt stool , coming face to face with [the woman]_363-irene that was draped all over [Ward]_327-jesse on Friday . [She]_363-irene smiles at [me]_2342-matt , but it ’s the most insincere smile [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever had the pleasure of receiving . ‘_[2342-matt] Hi . ’ [I]_54-victoria say politely . [I]_54-victoria see [Mario]_89-mario come rushing over with a panic stricken face , waving [his]_89-mario cloth in the air . ‘_{[54-victoria]} [Miss Sarah]_54-victoria ! No , please . No talk . ’ What ? ‘_{[54-victoria]} Oh , shut up [Mario]_89-mario ! [I]_2342-matt ’m not stupid . ’_{[54-victoria]} [she]_54-victoria spits . [Poor Mario]_89-mario flinches before returning to wiping the bar , keeping [his]_89-mario eyes on [Sarah]_54-victoria . [I]_2342-matt want to jump to [his]_89-mario defense , but just as [I]_2342-matt ’m contemplating doing exactly that , [she]_54-victoria puts out [her]_54-victoria hand . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m [Sarah]_54-victoria , [you]_54-victoria are ? ’_[2342-matt] Oh yes , the last time [she]_54-victoria asked [me]_2342-matt that [I]_2342-matt did n’t answer and left rather hastily . [I]_2342-matt accept [her]_54-victoria hand , shaking it lightly as [she]_54-victoria eyes [me]_2342-matt suspiciously . [I]_2342-matt can tell [she]_54-victoria does n’t like [me]_2342-matt . Perhaps [she]_54-victoria sees [me]_2342-matt as a threat . ‘ [Ava O’Shea]_832-ava . ’_{[54-victoria]} [I]_2342-matt offer , releasing [my]_2342-matt hold of [her]_54-victoria hand swiftly . ‘ And [you]_832-ava ’re_{[54-victoria]} here because ? ’ [I]_54-victoria laugh lightly . [I]_54-victoria ’m_{[54-victoria]} sure [she]_54-victoria knows exactly why [I]_2342-matt ’m here , which only serves to confirm that [she]_54-victoria ’s feeling threatened and going out of [her]_54-victoria way to make [me]_2342-matt feel uncomfortable . Sheath the claws , [lady]_54-victoria . [I]_2342-matt silently smile at the thought of telling [her]_54-victoria that it ’s because [[her]_54-victoria boyfriend]_54-victoria pleaded with [me]_2342-matt to be [here]_314-here . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m [an Interior Designer]_54-victoria . [I]_54-victoria ’m_{[54-victoria]} here to measure up [the new bedrooms]_{494-the new bedrooms} . ’ [She]_54-victoria arches an eyebrow , flicking [her]_54-victoria hand in the air to get [Mario]_89-mario ’s attention . [This woman]_54-victoria is something else , with aloofness in equal measure to Wards boldness . [Her]_54-victoria blonde , layered hair is flicking here and there , [her]_54-victoria lips the same pouty red as [they]_2452-they were on Friday , and [she]_65-ha ’s wearing a fitted , grey trouser suit . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] being unkind when [I]_2342-matt put [her]_65-ha at forty . [She]_65-ha ’s probably mid - thirties – far closer to [Ward]_327-jesse in age than [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt quickly reign in [my]_2342-matt wandering thoughts , mentally slapping [my]_2342-matt own desperate arse . ‘ Sloe gin and tonic , [Mario]_89-mario , ’_[65-ha] [she]_65-ha demands past [me]_2342-matt . No please and no smile . [She]_65-ha really is quite rude . ‘ [You]_497-you ’re_[65-ha] a bit young to be [an interior designer]_{275-an interior designer} , are n’t [you]_497-you ? ’ [Her]_65-ha tone is unfriendly , and [she]_65-ha does n’t look at [me]_2342-matt when [she]_65-ha speaks . [I]_2342-matt bristle . [I]_2342-matt really do n’t like [this woman]_65-ha . What does [Ward]_327-jesse see in [her]_65-ha , apart from over inflated , pouty lips and obvious breast implants ? ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt am . ’ [I]_2342-matt agree . [She]_65-ha feels threatened by [my]_2342-matt youth as well . Good . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] beyond relieved when [John]_832-ava appears in the doorway . [He]_832-ava pulls [his]_832-ava glasses down , giving [Sarah]_54-victoria a peculiar look before nodding at [me]_2342-matt . What ’s with all these looks being thrown around ? [I]_2342-matt do n’t dwell on it , though . [John]_832-ava ’s nod is the cue [I]_2342-matt need to escape [this woman]_65-ha . [I]_2342-matt place [my]_2342-matt empty glass on the bar more forcefully than [I]_2342-matt intend to . [Mario]_89-mario ’s head snaps up , and [I]_2342-matt smile an apology , lowering [myself]_2342-matt from the stool . ‘ Nice meeting [you]_65-ha , [Sarah]_54-victoria . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say pleasantly . It ’s a lie . [I]_2342-matt do n’t like [her]_65-ha , and [I]_2342-matt know the feeling ’s mutual . [She]_65-ha does n’t look at [me]_2342-matt . [She]_65-ha accepts the drink that [Mario]_89-mario hands [her]_65-ha , without so much as a thank [you]_499-you , and walks off to chat with [a male business type]_{500-a male business type} at the other end of [the bar]_{361-the bar} . When [I]_2342-matt reach [John]_832-ava , [he]_832-ava leads [me]_2342-matt up [the grand staircase]_{2361-the corridor} to [the gallery landing]_{2393-the gallery landing} and through to the new extension . ‘ [I]_832-ava ’ll be fine on [my]_832-ava own , [John]_832-ava . [I]_832-ava do n’t want to keep [you]_832-ava . ’_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt offer [him]_832-ava the chance to leave [me]_2342-matt to it as [he]_832-ava leads [me]_2342-matt down [the corridor]_{2361-the corridor} . ‘ S’all good , [girl]_832-ava . ’_[832-ava] [he]_832-ava rumbles , opening the door into [the furthest room]_{2379-the rooms} . [We]_505-we start measuring up , working [our]_505-we way back through [the rooms]_{2379-the rooms} . [John]_832-ava dutifully holds the tape measure for [me]_2342-matt , nodding every so often when [I]_2342-matt give direction . The phrase “ [A man of few words ”]_{506-a man of few words ”} was invented with [John]_832-ava in mind , [I]_2342-matt ’m sure . [He]_832-ava talks with [his]_832-ava nods , and even though [his]_832-ava eyes are covered with [his]_832-ava sunglasses , [I]_2342-matt can identify when [he]_832-ava ’s looking at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt make all the notes [I]_2342-matt need in [my]_2342-matt folder , ideas thrashing around in [my]_2342-matt head already . An hour later , [I]_2342-matt have all the measurements [I]_2342-matt need and [we]_2453-we ’re_[2342-matt] done . [I]_2342-matt follow [John]_832-ava ’s huge body back onto the gallery landing , as [I]_2342-matt search for [my]_2342-matt phone within [my]_2342-matt bag . [I]_2342-matt soon realise that in [my]_2342-matt desperation to get shot of [Sarah]_54-victoria , [I]_2342-matt left it on [the bar]_{361-the bar} . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ve left [my]_2342-matt phone in [the bar]_{361-the bar} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mutter to [John]_832-ava ’s back . ‘ [I]_832-ava ’ll make sure [Mario]_89-mario ’s picked it up . [Jesse]_327-jesse wanted [me]_832-ava to show [you]_327-jesse one of [the other rooms]_{2454-the other rooms} before [you]_327-jesse go . ’_[832-ava] [he]_832-ava informs [me]_2342-matt evenly . ‘ Why ? ’_[832-ava] ‘ So [you]_327-jesse get an idea of [your]_327-jesse brief . ’_[832-ava] [He]_832-ava puts a keycard in the slot , opens the door and ushers [me]_2342-matt in . Oh , okay . It ca n’t hurt , and [I]_2342-matt am interested . Wow ! [I]_2342-matt walk into the middle of [the room]_{2350-the room} . Well , mini - suite would better describe it . The floor space is probably bigger that [Kate]_2557-kate ’s flat . Hearing the door close behind [me]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt turn to see [John]_832-ava has left [me]_2342-matt to take it in on [my]_2342-matt own . [I]_2342-matt stand absorbing the opulent spender of the décor . [These rooms]_{2350-the room} are more lavish than the ones [downstairs]_{2323-downstairs} , if that ’s possible . A giant bed dominates [the room]_{2350-the room} , dressed in rich satin linen in deep purples and gold . The wall behind the bed is papered in an embossed , intense swirling of dull gold , and heavy thick curtains pool the thick , bouncy carpet . The lighting is dim and soft . One of [Ward]_327-jesse ’s key requirements was sensuality , and whoever designed [this room]_{2350-the room} has achieved it in abundance . Why does n’t [he]_832-ava just re - employ [this designer]_{510-this designer} ? [I]_2342-matt wander over to the huge , sash window and look out over [the rear grounds]_{511-the rear grounds} . The land [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} stands on is vast , the views tremendous and the lush greenness of [the Surrey countryside]_{513-the surrey countryside} is rolling for miles and miles beyond . It really is quite special . [I]_2342-matt walk over and run [my]_2342-matt palm across a lovely dark wooden chest of drawers . [I]_2342-matt place [my]_2342-matt folder and bag on the top before lowering [myself]_2342-matt onto the chaise lounge in the window . [I]_2342-matt sit and take in [my]_2342-matt surroundings . It ’s incredible and would undoubtedly rival [many of [the most famous hotels spread across [the world]_{516-the world} ’s biggest cities]_{515-the most famous hotels spread across the world ’s biggest cities}]_{514-many of the most famous hotels spread across the world ’s biggest cities} . A huge wall hanging grabs [my]_2342-matt attention . It ’s quite odd but beautifully made . It must be an antique . Half attached to the wall and drifting up onto the ceiling where the huge beams span , it ’s grid like in appearance , but there ’s no material or lighting adorning it . [I]_2342-matt tilt [my]_2342-matt head on a frown , but then fly up to standing position when [I]_2342-matt hear a noise coming from [the bathroom]_{2350-the room} . Oh shit . [He]_518-he ’s put [me]_2342-matt in [an occupied room]_{519-an occupied room} … or has [he]_518-he ? [I]_2342-matt ca n’t hear anything now . [I]_2342-matt keep [myself]_2342-matt still and quiet , trying to listen for movement , but there ’s nothing . [I]_2342-matt relax a little , but then [I]_2342-matt hear the door handle on the bathroom shift and [my]_2342-matt head snaps up . Oh , heck . [I]_2342-matt should be running to escape before [some poor sod]_{520-some poor sod} comes out of [[their]_{520-some poor sod} bathroom]_{2350-the room} , possibly naked , and finds [a strange woman]_{521-a strange woman} , standing like a complete plum , in the middle of [[their]_{520-some poor sod} posh suite]_{522-their posh suite} . [I]_2342-matt pelt towards the chest of drawers to retrieve [my]_2342-matt bag and swing around towards [the exit]_{371-the exit} . [I]_2342-matt gasp , dropping [my]_2342-matt bag to the floor . [I]_2342-matt ’m frozen on the spot and staring at [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse ’s standing in the doorway of [the bathroom]_{2350-the room} , wearing nothing but a pair of loose fitting jeans . Chapter 5 [He]_327-jesse remains silent as [I]_2342-matt look at [him]_327-jesse in shock , waiting for an explanation . [I]_2342-matt get nothing , except for [his]_327-jesse intense , green eyes gazing at [me]_2342-matt from across [the room]_{2350-the room} . [I]_2342-matt feel like [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] under a microscope , and that glass of wine is on spin cycle in [my]_2342-matt stomach , churning around and around as [I]_2342-matt shift nervously on [my]_2342-matt heels . ‘ Is this some kind of joke ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt half laugh . [I]_2342-matt ’m still waiting for enlightenment , but it ’s not forthcoming . [I]_2342-matt try to ignore the mass of [magnificent man]_2342-matt and frantically search [my]_2342-matt brain for guidance or instruction . It ’s useless . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not blind . [I]_2342-matt ’ll happily volunteer that [I]_2342-matt ’ve imagined [his]_2342-matt chest , more than once , and it exceeds even [my]_2342-matt highest imaginations and expectations . [This man]_2342-matt is way past perfect . What should [I]_2342-matt do ? [He]_2342-matt ’s just standing there , with [his]_2342-matt head slightly lowered , staring up at [me]_2342-matt through [his]_2342-matt long lashes . [His]_2342-matt eyes are piercing [me]_2342-matt , [his]_2342-matt mouth slack , and [I]_2342-matt can see the rise and fall of [his]_2342-matt incredible chest . There ’s some serious definition ; not too bulky , just clean … cut … perfection . If [he]_2342-matt ’s devastating fully clothed , then [he]_2342-matt ’s seizure worthy now . [I]_2342-matt take a deep breath . Oh God , [he]_2342-matt has the V. [His]_2342-matt heavy breathing is causing [his]_2342-matt muscles to roll and ripple , the increased swells putting the stoppers on [his]_2342-matt attempt to appear unaffected . [He]_2342-matt ’s really affected . What ’s [he]_2342-matt doing there like that ? [Stood]_90-stood with only a pair of jeans on , looking all freshly shaven , revealing even more beauty ? [I]_2342-matt mentally slap [myself]_2342-matt . It ’s obvious what [he]_2342-matt ’s playing at . [I]_2342-matt knew [I]_2342-matt should n’t have trusted [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt ’s unreal and so bloody forward – it ’s almost unattractive … almost . [I]_2342-matt laugh lightly to [myself]_2342-matt . It ’s not unattractive – not at all . [I]_2342-matt ’m a pooling mass of want . Was [I]_2342-matt hoping to see [him]_2342-matt ? Yes , [I]_2342-matt ’ll admit that . But like this ? Yes , actually , [I]_2342-matt was . [I]_2342-matt ’ve thought of little else since [I]_2342-matt laid eyes on [him]_2342-matt . [His]_2342-matt arms drape by [his]_2342-matt sides , but [his]_2342-matt stance is confident and determined . [He]_2342-matt ’s staring at [me]_2342-matt with complete intent , [his]_2342-matt look telling [me]_2342-matt [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] about to melt with pleasure . [I]_2342-matt should leave , but as much as [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt need to , as much as [I]_2342-matt ’m battling with [my]_2342-matt sensible side to run , [I]_2342-matt do n’t . Instead , [I]_2342-matt run [my]_2342-matt eyes down [his]_2342-matt jean clad thighs , noticing the bulge at [his]_2342-matt groin . [He]_2342-matt ’s absolutely turned on , and judging by the coiled pang of desire that has just sprung into [my]_2342-matt stomach , so am I. [My]_2342-matt body clams up with panic , battling between [my]_2342-matt conflicting sides – the sensible side , telling [me]_2342-matt to get the hell out of here , and [my]_2342-matt dangerous side , pleading with [me]_2342-matt to stay and take what [he]_2342-matt wants to give . This is wrong . [I]_2342-matt was just chatting to [[his]_2342-matt girlfriend]_{2455-his girlfriend} [downstairs]_{2323-downstairs} . Well , not chatting . Chatting would imply that it was a friendly converse – it was n’t . [My]_2342-matt debating brain has got [me]_2342-matt shifting [my]_2342-matt position as [I]_2342-matt part [my]_2342-matt lips to draw a steadying breath . [I]_2342-matt flex [my]_2342-matt neck . ‘_[2342-matt] Relax , [Ava]_832-ava , ’ [he]_2342-matt soothes [me]_832-ava quietly . ‘_[832-ava] [You]_832-ava know [you]_832-ava want this . ’ [I]_832-ava almost laugh . Who would n’t ? Look at [him]_2342-matt . [I]_832-ava stand motionless , the only visible movement is [my]_832-ava heart hammering out of [my]_832-ava chest , and it increases tenfold when [he]_2342-matt slowly begins to walk towards [me]_832-ava , [his]_2342-matt eyes fixed on [mine]_832-ava . When [he]_2342-matt ’s a few feet away , [his]_2342-matt fresh , minty scent engulfs [my]_832-ava nose , sending [my]_832-ava body involuntarily rigid . [I]_832-ava do n’t know how [I]_832-ava manage it , but [I]_832-ava keep [my]_832-ava eyes to [his]_524-his , lifting them to maintain contact as [he]_524-his nears , until [he]_524-his ’s standing before [me]_832-ava . [He]_524-his ’s as close as [he]_524-his can be without physically touching [me]_832-ava . If there ’s a Def - Con One version of high alert for the human body , then [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] in it now . ‘ Turn around . ’_[524-his] [he]_524-his orders gently . [I]_2342-matt conform without even a thought or hesitation , slowly turning away from [him]_524-his as [I]_2342-matt puff [my]_2342-matt cheeks out and clench [my]_2342-matt eyes shut . What am [I]_2342-matt doing ? [I]_2342-matt did n’t falter in the slightest . [My]_2342-matt shoulders are tensing , anticipating [his]_524-his touch , and no amount of mental encouragement to relax is paying off . The only sound breaking the screaming silence is the heavy breathing coming from [both of [us]_{525-both of us}]_{525-both of us} . [I]_2342-matt stand for a few moments , then go to turn and face [him]_524-his again , but [I]_2342-matt ’m stopped in [my]_2342-matt tracks when two firm , warm , slightly shaky hands rest on [my]_2342-matt shoulders , keeping [me]_2342-matt from following through on [my]_2342-matt intent . [His]_524-his touch makes [me]_2342-matt flinch , and [he]_524-his releases one hand slowly , as if to ensure [I]_2342-matt ’ll stay still . [My]_2342-matt loose hair is gathered into [his]_524-his hand and released to fall down [my]_2342-matt front . In [my]_2342-matt own private darkness , [I]_2342-matt can hear [my]_2342-matt head demanding [I]_2342-matt run away , but [my]_2342-matt body has a whole other agenda . It ’s defiantly ignoring any instructions from [my]_2342-matt brain . [His]_524-his hand returns to [my]_2342-matt shoulder and slowly massages [my]_2342-matt tense muscles . The feeling is divine , [my]_2342-matt head rolling in appreciation as a small sigh escapes [my]_2342-matt lips . The pressure increases , and [I]_2342-matt soak up the delicious movements of [his]_524-his talented hands as [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_524-his hot minty breath getting closer to [my]_2342-matt ear . [I]_2342-matt shudder , moving [my]_2342-matt face towards the source . [I]_2342-matt know this is inviting , but right at this moment , [I]_2342-matt ’ve lost all sense . [I]_2342-matt want more . ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t stop this . ’ [he]_526-he whispers , the vibrations of [his]_526-he voice propelling shockwaves throughout [my]_2342-matt body . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] physically shaking . It ’s way beyond [my]_2342-matt control . [My]_2342-matt breath catches at the back of [my]_2342-matt throat . ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to . ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt voice is unrecognisable . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]_526-he ’s captured [me]_2342-matt like this ; [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [I]_2342-matt ’m accepting this . ‘_[2342-matt] It ’s a good job . [I]_2342-matt do n’t think [I]_2342-matt ’d let [you]_527-you . ’ [He]_526-he presses [his]_526-he entire front against [my]_2342-matt back , [his]_526-he mouth dropping to [my]_2342-matt ear . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m going to take [your]_527-you dress off now . ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt nod of agreement is almost non - existent , but [he]_526-he catches it and answers by nipping [my]_2342-matt earlobe , which only assists in raising the relentless pressure in [my]_2342-matt already throbbing core . ‘ [You]_832-ava ’re_[832-ava] too fucking beautiful , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_526-he purrs , skimming [his]_526-he lips across [my]_832-ava ear . ‘_[832-ava] Oh god , ’ [I]_832-ava lean back into [him]_526-he , [his]_526-he erection throbbing through [his]_526-he jeans , pulsing into [my]_832-ava lower back . ‘_[832-ava] Do [you]_832-ava feel that ? ’ [He]_526-he circles [his]_526-he hips . [I]_2342-matt moan . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m going to have [you]_832-ava , [lady]_832-ava ’_[526-he] [His]_526-he words are spoken with absolute conviction . [I]_2342-matt ’m [a complete slave]_{2457-a complete slave} to [them]_348-women . [I]_2342-matt know [he]_526-he ’s bound to have had practice in [this area]_{2458-this area} ; [he]_526-he must have the gift of seduction down to a fine art . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not in denial . [Women]_348-women must be falling at [his]_526-he feet on a daily basis . [He]_526-he ’s [a well - trained master]_{529-a well - trained master} , seeing and taking what [he]_526-he wants , but it does n’t bother [me]_2342-matt in the slightest . Right now , [I]_2342-matt ’m here for the taking , with no conscience and no indecisiveness . Caution has been wholly and absolutely thrown to the wind . What harm can it do ? [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_526-he index finger start at the base of [my]_2342-matt back , trailing a slow , definite stroke up the centre of [my]_2342-matt spine , causing [my]_2342-matt head to roll freely . [I]_2342-matt plead with [my]_2342-matt hands to remain at [my]_2342-matt sides , when all [I]_2342-matt want to do is turn and devour [him]_526-he , but [he]_526-he ’s already stopped [me]_2342-matt from turning to face [him]_526-he once . [He]_526-he clearly likes to be in control . As [he]_526-he reaches the very top of [my]_2342-matt dress , [he]_526-he grasps the zip and places [his]_526-he hand on [my]_2342-matt hip . [I]_2342-matt jerk . It ’s [my]_2342-matt ultimate tickle spot and any friction on [my]_2342-matt hip bone , or the hollow above it , sends [me]_2342-matt through the roof . Squeezing [my]_2342-matt eyes shut , [I]_2342-matt use every ounce of willpower [I]_2342-matt possess to disregard the contact . It ’s hard , but the sheer size of [his]_526-he hand splayed across [my]_2342-matt hip grounds [me]_2342-matt , keeping [me]_2342-matt immobile . The zip of [my]_2342-matt dress slowly lowers and [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_2342-matt gasp at the exposure of [my]_2342-matt bare skin . [He]_2342-matt removes [his]_2342-matt hand from [my]_2342-matt hip , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] stunned when [I]_2342-matt miss the heat immediately . But then [I]_2342-matt feel both hands slide under the material of [my]_2342-matt dress and rest on [my]_2342-matt bare shoulders . [His]_2342-matt fingers flex as [he]_2342-matt pushes [my]_2342-matt dress away from [my]_2342-matt front before slowly dragging it down [my]_2342-matt body , letting it fall to the floor . [His]_2342-matt breath catches , and [I]_2342-matt thank everything holy that [I]_2342-matt put on decent underwear . [I]_2342-matt ’m stood in [my]_2342-matt bra , knickers and heels , and at the complete mercy of the Adonis looming behind [me]_2342-matt . What the hell am [I]_2342-matt doing ? ‘_[2342-matt] Hmmm , lace . ’ [he]_2342-matt whispers . [My]_2342-matt waist is griped and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] lifted out of the pooling dress before being turned to face [him]_2342-matt . In these heels , [my]_2342-matt eyes are level with [his]_2342-matt chin and with a little flick upwards , [I]_2342-matt ’m focused on [his]_2342-matt full , beautiful lips and wishing [he]_2342-matt would lay them on [mine]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] swiftly losing [my]_2342-matt self - control and [my]_2342-matt conscience has long left [the building]_{390-the building} . [I]_2342-matt ’m wanton , and with [this man]_2342-matt , easy . [He]_2342-matt lifts a hand to [my]_2342-matt breast and circles [my]_2342-matt nipple through [my]_2342-matt bra with [his]_2342-matt thumb , [his]_2342-matt gaze focused on [his]_2342-matt movements . [My]_2342-matt nipples tingle at the contact , lengthening behind the material of [my]_2342-matt bra . A small smile plays at the corners of [his]_2342-matt lips . [He]_2342-matt knows the affect [he]_2342-matt ’s having on [me]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt introduces [his]_2342-matt index finger and tweaks the stiff nub , causing [my]_2342-matt breasts to throb , becoming heavy , aching mounds . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] completely rapt by this man studying [me]_2342-matt so closely , working [me]_2342-matt up into a shaking , desperate mess . [I]_2342-matt still ca n’t believe [I]_2342-matt ’m doing this , but damn , can [I]_2342-matt stop it ? [I]_2342-matt watch as [he]_2342-matt brings [his]_2342-matt other hand up to palm [my]_2342-matt other breast . [I]_2342-matt can no longer keep [my]_2342-matt hands off of [him]_2342-matt . [My]_2342-matt arms lift and [my]_2342-matt palms settle on [his]_2342-matt chest . The warmness and firmness hitches [my]_2342-matt breath . [I]_2342-matt start to trail [my]_2342-matt finger down the void between [his]_2342-matt pecs , smiling to [myself]_2342-matt when [I]_2342-matt feel [him]_2342-matt flinch under [my]_2342-matt touch and groan low in [his]_2342-matt throat . Before [I]_2342-matt can make the most of the access to [his]_2342-matt body , [he]_2342-matt turns [me]_2342-matt back around , and [I]_2342-matt want to cry inside . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt want to see [you]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt breathe . ‘_[2342-matt] Shhhh . ’ [He]_2342-matt hushes [me]_2342-matt , unclasping [my]_2342-matt bra and running [his]_2342-matt hands under the straps . [He]_2342-matt lowers them down [my]_2342-matt arms , letting it drop to the floor , before [his]_2342-matt hands find [my]_2342-matt breasts and knead deliberately . [He]_2342-matt continues to breathe hot , heavy breaths in [my]_2342-matt ear . ‘_[2342-matt] You.and.me . ’ [he]_2342-matt growls and spins [me]_2342-matt around , crashing [his]_2342-matt lips against [mine]_2342-matt , robbing [me]_2342-matt of breath . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] back to where [I]_2342-matt want to be . [His]_2342-matt tongue skims [my]_2342-matt bottom lip , seeking entry , and [I]_2342-matt do n’t deny [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt accept [him]_2342-matt into [my]_2342-matt mouth , [our]_531-our tongues dueling , [his]_2342-matt mouth hot , [his]_2342-matt tongue lax but severe . [I]_2342-matt fling [my]_2342-matt arms over [his]_2342-matt shoulders to pull [him]_2342-matt closer as [he]_2342-matt presses [his]_2342-matt groin into [my]_2342-matt lower stomach . [His]_2342-matt erection is as hard as steel and bidding for escape from the confines of the denim encasing it . Every part of [him]_2342-matt feels perfect . It ’s everything [I]_2342-matt imagined . A low moan escapes [his]_2342-matt mouth as both of [his]_2342-matt hands drift up [my]_2342-matt back to cup [my]_2342-matt head , [his]_2342-matt fingers splayed around the back , the heel of [his]_2342-matt palms resting on [my]_2342-matt cheek bones . [He]_2342-matt breaks the kiss and [I]_2342-matt whimper at the loss . [His]_2342-matt shoulders are rising and falling with the deep breaths [he]_2342-matt ’s struggling to get into [his]_2342-matt lungs , and [he]_2342-matt rests [his]_2342-matt forehead against [mine]_2342-matt with [his]_2342-matt eyes clenched shut . [He]_2342-matt looks in pain . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to get lost in [you]_532-you . ’ [he]_2342-matt breathes , [his]_2342-matt hand traveling back down the curve of [my]_2342-matt spine to the rear of [my]_2342-matt thigh . With one gentle tug , [he]_2342-matt pulls [my]_2342-matt leg up to rest against [his]_2342-matt hip , cupping [my]_2342-matt bum with [his]_2342-matt other . [He]_2342-matt searches [my]_2342-matt eyes desperately . ‘_[2342-matt] There ’s something here , ’ [he]_2342-matt whispers . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not imagining it . ’_[2342-matt] No , [he]_2342-matt ’s not . [I]_2342-matt think back to Friday , when [I]_2342-matt first laid [my]_2342-matt eyes on [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt felt like [I]_2342-matt ’d been electrocuted , all sorts of strange reactions firing off in [my]_2342-matt mind and body . That was n’t normal , and [I]_2342-matt ’m so relieved that [I]_2342-matt was n’t [the only one to feel it]_{2459-the only one to feel it} . ‘_[2342-matt] There ’s something . ’ [I]_2342-matt confirm quietly , watching as [his]_2342-matt eyes change from uncertainty to complete satisfaction . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] stood on one leg , semi draped around [his]_2342-matt waist , ready to jump the gun and wrap [my]_2342-matt other leg around [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt need to feel all of [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt need [his]_2342-matt lips on [mine]_2342-matt . As if reading [my]_2342-matt mind , [he]_2342-matt tilts [his]_2342-matt head and lowers [his]_2342-matt mouth to [mine]_2342-matt , but this time [he]_2342-matt ’s calmer as [he]_2342-matt gently brushes [his]_2342-matt lips over [mine]_2342-matt at the most dreamy pace . [He]_2342-matt tilts [his]_2342-matt pelvis into [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt instantly recognise the start of a huge build - up of pressure in [my]_2342-matt groin . [I]_2342-matt ’m powerless to control it ; [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to control it . Grinding [his]_2342-matt hips against [me]_2342-matt , [he]_2342-matt continues to take [my]_2342-matt mouth slowly , the combined sensation having [me]_2342-matt tinkering on the edge . One touch and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] likely to explode . [His]_2342-matt kiss hardens , the grinding of [his]_2342-matt hips increasing . ‘ Oh , [Jesus]_72-jesus , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt mumbles against [my]_2342-matt lips . ‘ Do n’t ruin this . ’_[2342-matt] Do n’t ruin this ? Why is [he]_2342-matt pleading with [me]_2342-matt , or is [he]_2342-matt pleading with [himself]_2342-matt ? But then it all becomes clear when [I]_2342-matt hear someone calling [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s name . [I]_2342-matt recognise the cold , unfriendly voice as [Sarah]_54-victoria ’s . And just like that , [my]_2342-matt building pleasure dies of death , retreating faster than it came . Fuck off , fuck off , fuck off ! [I]_2342-matt ’m screaming it repeatedly in [my]_2342-matt head . [My]_2342-matt languid , worked up body suddenly stiffens , [my]_2342-matt fingers digging into [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s shoulders . What am [I]_2342-matt doing ? [[His]_327-jesse girlfriend]_{398-her boyfriend} is prowling around , possibly outside , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] shacked up in here with [[her]_54-victoria boyfriend]_{398-her boyfriend} ’s hands all over [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m hideous ! [He]_{398-her boyfriend} deepens the kiss , pushing onto [my]_2342-matt lips to the point of pain , [his]_{398-her boyfriend} tongue invading [my]_2342-matt mouth with urgency . [I]_2342-matt know [he]_{398-her boyfriend} ’s trying to keep [me]_2342-matt in the game . [He]_{398-her boyfriend} releases [my]_2342-matt thigh and brings [his]_{398-her boyfriend} hands to [my]_2342-matt hips to keep [me]_2342-matt still . [He]_2342-matt thinks [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to run . [I]_2342-matt am going to run . [He]_2342-matt releases [my]_2342-matt lips , [my]_2342-matt head dropping automatically . ‘ The door ’s locked . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt assures [me]_2342-matt quietly . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t carry on with this now ! [I]_2342-matt may not like [the woman]_363-irene , but [I]_2342-matt ’m not [a home wrecker]_{2460-a home wrecker} . [I]_2342-matt ’ve done some damage , but [I]_2342-matt can stop this progressing to the point of no return . [He]_2342-matt brings one hand up to seize [my]_2342-matt jaw , tilting [my]_2342-matt head up and holding it firm as [he]_2342-matt focuses [his]_2342-matt green pools straight on [me]_2342-matt . [His]_2342-matt frown line is clear as [he]_2342-matt searches [my]_2342-matt eyes for something – hope , [I]_2342-matt think . ‘_[2342-matt] Please . ’ [he]_2342-matt mouths . [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head slightly in [his]_2342-matt grasp , [my]_2342-matt gaze plummeting to [his]_2342-matt chest , [my]_2342-matt eyes squeezing shut . [His]_2342-matt hand tightens on [my]_2342-matt hip and [he]_2342-matt shakes [my]_2342-matt jaw slightly in a desperate attempt to drag [me]_2342-matt out of the shell [I]_2342-matt ’ve crawled into . ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t run . ’ [He]_2342-matt almost grinds the words out , making it sound more like an order . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t do this . ’ [I]_327-jesse whisper , feeling [his]_2342-matt hands drop away from [me]_327-jesse on a frustrated growl . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’ [I]_327-jesse hear [Sarah]_54-victoria ’s voice again , but closer this time . In a complete daze , [I]_327-jesse scoop [my]_327-jesse dress up from the floor before running into [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} , slamming the door behind [me]_327-jesse and flipping the lock . [I]_327-jesse lean against the back of the door , virtually naked , trying to control [my]_327-jesse erratic breathing . [I]_327-jesse look up to the ceiling in an attempt to prevent the tears from falling . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] so disappointed with [myself]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt hear the sound of muffled voices coming from [the bedroom]_{2382-the bathroom} , and [I]_2342-matt try to stabilise [my]_2342-matt breathing so [I]_2342-matt can listen to what ’s going on . But , there ’s nothing . No noise , no talking … nothing . Damn [me]_2342-matt for being half naked so [I]_2342-matt ca n’t escape . Instead , [I]_2342-matt ’ve resorted to fleeing into [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} , hiding like the desperate tart that [I]_2342-matt am . [I]_2342-matt ’m not comfortable with these feelings . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] truly ashamed of [myself]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been cheated on plenty of times , and [I]_2342-matt ’ve annihilated all of [those women who ’ve intruded on [my]_2342-matt relationships]_{536-those women who ’ve intruded on my relationships} . Over many a bottle of wine , [I]_2342-matt ’ve condemned [them]_{536-those women who ’ve intruded on my relationships} , bad mouthed [them]_{536-those women who ’ve intruded on my relationships} and wished [them]_{536-those women who ’ve intruded on my relationships} some truly merciless reprisals . Now , [I]_2342-matt ’m [one of [them]_{536-those women who ’ve intruded on my relationships}]_{460-one of them} . [I]_2342-matt groan , smacking the heel of [my]_2342-matt hand on [my]_2342-matt forehead . [Tart]_91-tart ! When [I]_2342-matt hear a door shut , [I]_2342-matt stiffen . Is that [him]_91-tart leaving , or is [he]_91-tart coming back ? Either way , [I]_2342-matt need to get dressed . [I]_2342-matt search for [my]_2342-matt bra within the bunching material of [my]_2342-matt dress that ’s gathered in [my]_2342-matt hands – no bra . Shaking [my]_2342-matt dress out frantically , [I]_2342-matt pray for its appearance but still … nothing . [I]_2342-matt sigh and step into [my]_2342-matt dress , pulling it up [my]_2342-matt body and reaching around to fasten the zip . [I]_2342-matt ’ll have to do without because [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] certainly not attempting to retrieve it from [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} . [I]_2342-matt walk over to the mirror to inspect [myself]_2342-matt . It ’s as [I]_2342-matt suspected ; [I]_2342-matt look dreadful . [My]_2342-matt eyes are swimming with unshed tears , [my]_2342-matt lips swollen and red , and [my]_2342-matt cheeks are flushed . [I]_2342-matt look harassed ; [I]_2342-matt am harassed . [I]_2342-matt try in vain to straighten [myself]_2342-matt out , so [I]_2342-matt can at least exit with a bit of dignity in tack , but there ’s no escaping the distraught look [I]_2342-matt ’m displaying . This will be the ultimate walk of shame . [I]_832-ava flinch when there ’s a knock on the door . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [I]_832-ava keep quiet . Oh God , [he]_{538-a disappointed man blocking my escape} sounds almost angry . [I]_832-ava pull [my]_832-ava fingers through [my]_832-ava hair and dab [my]_832-ava eyes with tissue to soak up the tears . [I]_832-ava look no better , but [I]_832-ava know [I]_832-ava ’ll feel better when [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] out of here . Geeing [myself]_2342-matt up to face the music that ’s [a disappointed man blocking [my]_2342-matt escape]_{538-a disappointed man blocking my escape} , [I]_2342-matt gingerly unlock the door . It flies open , nearly knocking [me]_2342-matt off of [my]_2342-matt feet , and [Jesse]_327-jesse is filling the doorway . [He]_327-jesse is angry . And [he]_327-jesse ’s blocking [my]_2342-matt path . [I]_2342-matt look past [him]_327-jesse into [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} , finding [we]_540-me ’re alone . [He]_327-jesse must be a bloody convincing liar because [he]_327-jesse ’s still shirtless , and there ’s no [Sarah]_54-victoria trying to rip [my]_540-me hair out . As if [he]_327-jesse has the right to look at [me]_540-me all disapproving and make [me]_540-me feel like a letdown . [I]_540-me push past [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[540-me] Where the hell are [you]_541-you going ? ’ [he]_327-jesse shouts after [me]_832-ava . [I]_832-ava do n’t respond . [I]_832-ava keep [my]_832-ava pace up , grabbing [my]_832-ava bag and stalking out onto [the gallery landing]_{2393-the gallery landing} , hearing [Jesse]_327-jesse curse as [I]_832-ava make [my]_832-ava escape . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava ! ’ [he]_327-jesse yells . [I]_832-ava take [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} fast , glancing up as [I]_832-ava go , spotting [Jesse]_327-jesse flying out of [the suite]_{272-the stairs} , fighting to get [his]_327-jesse t - shirt on . Detouring into [the bar]_{361-the bar} to collect [my]_832-ava phone , [I]_832-ava find [Mario]_89-mario serving [some gentlemen]_{2465-some gentlemen} . [My]_832-ava good manners prevent [me]_832-ava from demanding it immediately , so [I]_832-ava stand patiently and wait , fidgeting and flustering the whole time . ‘_[832-ava] Did [you]_542-i get what [you]_542-i came for ? ’ [Sarah]_54-victoria ’s cold voice stabs at [my]_542-i flesh . Oh [God]_68-god , does [she]_54-victoria know ? Is there a double meaning there ? [I]_542-i turn , plastering on a false smile . ‘_[542-i] [You]_542-i mean measurements ? Yes . ’ [She]_54-victoria looks [me]_542-i over , [her]_54-victoria elbow resting on [her]_54-victoria hip , with [her]_54-victoria sloe gin and tonic suspended in front of [her]_54-victoria face . [She]_54-victoria knows . Oh , this is awful . [Jesse]_327-jesse races into [the bar]_{361-the bar} , skidding to a stop in front of [us]_2467-us . [I]_542-i look at [him]_327-jesse in horror . Could [he]_327-jesse be any more obvious ? [I]_542-i glance at [Sarah]_54-victoria to gage [her]_54-victoria reaction to this little scene , finding [her]_54-victoria looking thoughtfully at [us]_2467-us both . [She]_54-victoria definitely knows . [I]_542-i need to leave , right now . [I]_542-i turn back towards [the bar]_{361-the bar} . Thank God , [Mario]_89-mario spots [me]_542-i . ‘_[542-i] [Miss O’Shea]_832-ava , here , [you]_832-ava must try . ’ [He]_327-jesse hands [me]_542-i a short of some sort . ‘_[542-i] Do [you]_832-ava have [my]_2342-matt phone , [Mario]_89-mario ? ’ ‘_[832-ava] [You]_832-ava try . ’ [he]_327-jesse demands . In [my]_832-ava desperation to get out of here , [I]_832-ava knock the whole thing back in one foul gulp . It burns the back of [my]_832-ava throat , continuing the burn as it makes its way down [my]_832-ava throat and into [my]_832-ava stomach . [My]_832-ava mouth forms an O as [I]_832-ava squeeze [my]_832-ava eyes shut . ‘_[832-ava] Wow ! ’ ‘_[832-ava] It is good ? ’ [I]_832-ava blow out a long , hot breath , handing the glass back to [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[832-ava] Yes . It ’s very good . ’ [I]_91-tart begin to get the aftertaste of … cherries ? [He]_327-jesse takes the glass , winks and hands [me]_91-tart [my]_91-tart phone . [I]_91-tart smooth [my]_91-tart dress , taking a deep breath , before turning back to face [the two people [I]_91-tart never want to see again]_{2468-the two people i never want to see again} . [I]_91-tart ’m_[91-tart] sure there ’s a gigantic , neon sign saying [Tart]_91-tart flashing on [my]_2342-matt forehead . ‘ [You]_327-jesse left this [upstairs]_{2469-upstairs} . ’_[91-tart] [Ward]_327-jesse hands [me]_2342-matt [my]_2342-matt folder but does n’t release it when [I]_2342-matt tug gently . ‘ Thank [you]_327-jesse , ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt frown at [him]_327-jesse as [he]_327-jesse stares at [me]_2342-matt , [his]_327-jesse brow completely furrowed as [he]_327-jesse chews [his]_327-jesse bottom lip . [He]_327-jesse finally lets it go , and [I]_2342-matt tuck it in [my]_2342-matt bag . ‘ Goodbye . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt leave [them]_543-them both in [the bar]_{361-the bar} , making [my]_2342-matt way to [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2340-my mini} . [He]_327-jesse ca n’t pursue [me]_2342-matt with [Sarah]_54-victoria there to bear witness and that is a major relief . [I]_2342-matt get in and start [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2340-my mini} , ignoring the voice in [my]_2342-matt head screaming “ [You]_546-i ’re probably over the limit ! ” This is so irresponsible of [me]_546-i , but desperation leaves [me]_546-i with no alternative . [I]_546-i reverse out of the space and see [Jesse]_327-jesse come bounding out of the doors . [He]_327-jesse ca n’t be serious ? Why does n’t [he]_327-jesse just come out and tell [her]_54-victoria exactly what just happened ? Frantically , [I]_546-i shift into first gear , pulling off sharply and leaving a cloud of dust in [my]_546-i wake . [I]_546-i ’ve never drove [[my]_546-i Mini]_{2340-my mini} so erratically . As the fog of dust clears behind [me]_546-i , [I]_546-i see [Jesse]_327-jesse in the rear view mirror , throwing [his]_327-jesse arms around in the air like [some raving lunatic]_{2470-some raving lunatic} . [I]_546-i speed down [the tree covered driveway]_{2471-the tree covered driveway} , [my]_546-i head spinning – a mixture of drink and distress – trying to block everything out of [my]_546-i mind and concentrate on [the road ahead of [me]_546-i]_{2472-the road ahead of me} . [I]_546-i ’m_[546-i] in no state to be driving . All [my]_2342-matt senses are dulled , the drink only a minor contributing factor to [my]_2342-matt hysterical state of mind . Glancing down at the dashboard , [I]_2342-matt note [I]_2342-matt ’m driving stupidly fast and without the headlights or [my]_2342-matt seatbelt on . [My]_2342-matt head is all over [the place]_{308-the place} . The gates come into view and [I]_2342-matt release the accelerator . ‘_[2342-matt] Open , please , open . ’ [I]_2342-matt plead as [I]_2342-matt pull to a standstill . ‘_[2342-matt] Open ! ’ [I]_2342-matt thump the steering wheel in frustration and the horn screams , sending [me]_2342-matt on a startled jump in [my]_2342-matt seat . The sound of [a car]_{2474-a car} approaching drags [my]_2342-matt eyes to the rearview mirror . The headlights are getting closer . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , fucking hell ! ’ [I]_2342-matt curse . It skids to a stop behind [me]_2342-matt and the door flies open . [Jesse]_327-jesse gets out and strides forward at a leisurely rate , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not trying to kid [myself]_2342-matt that [he]_547-he does n’t look fuming . Just because [he]_547-he did n’t get [his]_547-he rocks off ? [I]_2342-matt dramatically slump [my]_2342-matt arms and head onto the steering wheel , feeling completely flattened . [My]_2342-matt aim to escape , no questions asked or explanations given , has been well and truly dashed – not that [I]_2342-matt owe [him]_547-he any explanations . The situation , in all its hideousness , speaks for itself . The driver door is yanked open and [he]_547-he grabs [my]_2342-matt arm , gently pulling [me]_2342-matt from [the car]_{548-the car} and taking [my]_2342-matt keys from the ignition . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , ’_[547-he] [He]_547-he looks at [me]_2342-matt all disapproving . [I]_2342-matt want to yell at [him]_547-he , but [he]_547-he gets in first . ‘ [You]_549-you ’re_[547-he] half pissed ! [I]_2342-matt swear to [God]_68-god , if [you]_549-you ’d of hurt [yourself]_549-you … ’ [I]_549-you wince at [his]_547-he words , mentally scolding [myself]_549-you for being so reckless . [I]_549-you stand in front of [him]_547-he , soaking up [his]_547-he displeasure , feeling humiliated and pathetic . [He]_547-he grasps [my]_549-you jaw in [his]_547-he hand to look down at [me]_549-you . [He]_547-he ’s moving in for a kiss , [I]_549-you can see it in [his]_547-he eyes . Oh , please . [I]_549-you really do n’t need this . [I]_549-you pull [my]_549-you face from [his]_547-he grip . ‘_[549-you] Are [you]_549-you okay ? ’ [he]_547-he asks softly , reaching for [me]_2342-matt again . [I]_2342-matt brush [him]_547-he off . ‘_[2342-matt] Funnily enough , no , [I]_2342-matt ’m not . Why did [you]_549-you do that ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Is n’t it obvious ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_549-you want [me]_2342-matt , ’_[2342-matt] ‘ More than anything , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt states flatly . ‘ What ? [I]_2342-matt ’ve never met [[anyone]_2475-anyone so full of [themselves]_2475-anyone]_2475-anyone . Did [you]_549-you plan this ? When [you]_549-you rang [me]_2342-matt yesterday , was this [your]_549-you intention all along ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt admits . There ’s absolutely no apology in [his]_2342-matt tone . ‘ [I]_2342-matt want [you]_549-you . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt have no idea how to deal with this . [He]_2342-matt wants [me]_2342-matt , so [he]_2342-matt took [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Can [you]_549-you open the gates , please ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt start walking towards [them]_550-i , but [they]_550-i ’re still unmoving by the time [I]_550-i reach [them]_550-i . [I]_550-i swing around in the most threatening manner [I]_550-i can muster . ‘_[550-i] Open the damn gates ! ’ ‘_[550-i] [You]_551-you honestly think [I]_2342-matt ’m going to let [you]_551-you go wandering aimlessly out there when [you]_551-you ’re_[2342-matt] miles from [home]_281-home ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll call [a cab]_{553-a cab} . It ’s not [your]_551-you concern . Open the gates . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Absolutely not , [I]_2342-matt ’ll take [you]_551-you . ’ [I]_2342-matt look at [[his]_2342-matt car]_{2476-his car} . It ’s [an Aston Martin]_{122-aston martin} – all black , shiny and beautiful – it figures . ‘_[2342-matt] Just open the fucking gates ! ’ [I]_2342-matt scream at [him]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Watch [your]_551-you fucking mouth ! ’ Watch [my]_2342-matt mouth ? Watch [my]_2342-matt bloody mouth ? [I]_2342-matt want to thump [him]_2342-matt , fall to [my]_2342-matt knees and cry in frustration , proper howl at the moon wails . [I]_2342-matt feel such [a fool]_{2477-a fool} – humiliated and ashamed . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not prepared to be a notch on [[your]_551-you busy bedpost]_{2478-your busy bedpost} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt spit . [I]_2342-matt have a little more self - respect than that … kind of . ‘ [You]_551-you actually believe that ? ’_[554-he] [He]_554-he ’s really very puzzled . Give [me]_2342-matt strength . [This man]_327-jesse is [the ultimate player]_327-jesse , seeing and taking what [he]_327-jesse wants , when [he]_327-jesse wants it . Who does [he]_327-jesse think [he]_327-jesse is ? [Our]_556-our confrontation is interrupted when [his]_327-jesse mobile starts ringing . It ’s swiftly removed from [his]_327-jesse pocket . ‘ [John]_832-ava ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse turns and starts pacing . ‘ Yeah … okay . ’_[327-jesse] The call is ended quickly . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’ll take [you]_327-jesse [home]_281-home . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse holds [his]_327-jesse hand out . ‘ No , please . Just open the gates . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m pleading , and it was n’t the tone [I]_2342-matt was aiming for . ‘_[2342-matt] No , [I]_2342-matt ’m not letting [you]_327-jesse out there on [you]_327-jesse own , [Ava]_832-ava . End of . [You]_327-jesse ’re_[2342-matt] coming with [me]_2342-matt . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , [you]_327-jesse are . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt snap [my]_2342-matt head up when [a car]_{2476-his car} pulls off [the main road]_{294-the main road} . ‘ Fuck ! ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse roars , yanking [his]_327-jesse phone back out of [his]_327-jesse pocket , at the same time trying to make a grab for [me]_2342-matt . The gates start to open and [I]_2342-matt run to grab [my]_2342-matt bag from [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2476-his car} . ‘ [John]_832-ava , do n’t open the fucking gates . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse yells into [his]_327-jesse phone . ‘ Well , tell [Sarah]_54-victoria not to ! ’_[327-jesse] As soon as the opening is big enough to allow , [I]_2342-matt squeeze through , just as [they]_559-they start closing again . [I]_2342-matt see [Jesse]_327-jesse run to [[his]_327-jesse car]_{2476-his car} , bashing something on the dash board . The gates start opening again . [Wo]_92-wo n’t [the man]_2342-matt just give it a rest ? [I]_2342-matt get [my]_2342-matt phone out and dial a cab number as [I]_2342-matt start walking down [the lane]_{298-the lane} . The call connects and [I]_2342-matt go to speak , but the wind is knocked clean out of [me]_2342-matt when [I]_2342-matt ’m grabbed around [my]_2342-matt waist . ‘_[2342-matt] What ! ’ [I]_2342-matt scream as [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] hoisted from [my]_2342-matt feet , spun around and tossed over [his]_327-jesse shoulder . ‘ [You]_327-jesse ’re_[2342-matt] not wandering around on [your]_327-jesse fucking own , [lady]_65-ha . ’ [he]_2342-matt grates , [his]_2342-matt tone full of authority , making [me]_65-ha feel younger , or [him]_2342-matt older – [I]_65-ha ’m_[65-ha] not sure ‘ What ’s it got to do with [you]_327-jesse ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt spit . [I]_2342-matt ’m boiling mad and bobbing up and down as [he]_2342-matt strides back to [[his]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} . ‘_[2342-matt] Apparently , nothing , but [I]_2342-matt do have a conscious . [You]_563-you ’re not leaving [here]_314-here unless it ’s in [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} . Do [you]_563-you understand [me]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt places [me]_2342-matt on [my]_2342-matt feet , grasps [my]_2342-matt elbow and guides [me]_2342-matt into [[his]_2342-matt car]_{2476-his car} before slamming the door and getting into [[my]_2342-matt Mini]_{2340-my mini} to move it to the side of [the driveway]_{567-the driveway} . [I]_2342-matt smirk as [I]_2342-matt watch [him]_2342-matt yank the lever to slide the seat back as far as it will go , but even at its furthest away from the wheel , [he]_2342-matt still struggles to cram [his]_2342-matt tall , lean body in . [He]_2342-matt looks pretty stupid . [I]_2342-matt want to yell at [him]_2342-matt some more when [he]_2342-matt wheel spins and skids to a stop . [[My]_2342-matt poor Mini]_{2340-my mini} has never been so ill - treated . [He]_2342-matt huffs [his]_2342-matt way back and throws [himself]_2342-matt in [his]_2342-matt car , giving [me]_2342-matt a ferocious scowl before [he]_2342-matt starts [the car]_{548-the car} and roars off . The journey [home]_281-home is painfully silent and frighteningly fast . [The man]_2342-matt is a menace on [the roads]_{570-the roads} , and [I]_2342-matt wish [he]_2342-matt would at least put the radio on to rid [the car]_{548-the car} of the awkward silence . [I]_2342-matt begrudgingly admire the interior of [his]_2342-matt DBS . [I]_2342-matt ’m cradled in the seat , with acres of black , quilted leather surrounding [me]_832-ava , as [I]_832-ava stare out of the window the whole way [home]_281-home . [I]_832-ava feel [his]_2342-matt eyes fixed on [me]_832-ava every so often , but [I]_832-ava ignore it . Instead , [I]_832-ava concentrate on the guttural roar of the engine as it eats up [the road]_{2482-the road} ahead . What has just happened ? [He]_2342-matt pulls up outside [Kate]_2557-kate ’s , after [I]_832-ava direct [him]_2342-matt in with short , sharp instructions , and [I]_832-ava let [myself]_832-ava out . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [I]_832-ava hear [him]_2342-matt call [me]_832-ava , but [I]_832-ava shut the car door and race up the path to [the house]_{308-the place} , cursing out loud when [I]_832-ava realise [he]_2342-matt ’s got [my]_832-ava bloody car keys . [I]_832-ava turn to make [my]_832-ava way back down [the path]_{2482-the road} , but [I]_832-ava hear the roar of [his]_2342-matt engine burning off down [the road]_{2482-the road} . [I]_832-ava screw [my]_832-ava face up in [my]_832-ava own private disgust . [He]_2342-matt ’s done that on purpose so [I]_832-ava have to call [him]_2342-matt . Well , [he]_2342-matt ’ll be waiting a long time . [I]_832-ava would rather go without [[my]_832-ava car]_{2336-my car} . [I]_832-ava traipse back up [the path]_{2482-the road} and bash on the door . ‘_[832-ava] Where are [your]_571-your keys ? ’ [Kate]_2557-kate asks when [she]_2557-kate answers the door . [I]_832-ava think quickly . ‘_[832-ava] [[My]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} ’s having some new brakes . [I]_2342-matt forgot to remove [my]_2342-matt house keys . ’ [She]_2557-kate accepts [my]_2342-matt excuse with no further questions . ‘_[2342-matt] There ’s a spare door key in the pot by the kitchen window . ’ [She]_2557-kate runs back up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} and [I]_2342-matt follow , immediately opening a bottle of wine before rummaging through the fridge for something to eat . Nothing takes [my]_2342-matt fancy . Wine will do . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes , please . ’ [Kate]_2557-kate comes breezing back into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . [She]_2557-kate ’s already jimmy - jammed up , and [I]_2342-matt ca n’t wait to join [her]_2557-kate . [I]_2342-matt pour [her]_2557-kate a glass , while trying to morph [my]_2342-matt face into anything other than the shocked expression that [I]_2342-matt know is still visible . ‘_[2342-matt] Good day ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . [She]_2557-kate collapses into one of the mismatching chairs around the chunky , pine table . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt spent most of the day collecting cake stands . [You]_573-you would think [people]_372-people would be kind enough to return [them]_372-people . ’ [She]_2557-kate takes a sip of [her]_2557-kate wine , gasping in appreciation . [I]_573-you join [her]_2557-kate at the table . ‘_[573-you] [You]_573-you need to start asking for a deposit . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt know . Hey , [I]_2342-matt have a date tomorrow night . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] With who ? ’ [I]_{410-this one} ask , wondering if [this one]_{410-this one} will make it past the first . ‘_{[410-this one]} [A very yummy client]_{410-this one} . [He]_{410-this one} stopped by to collect a cake for [[his]_{410-this one} niece]_{576-his niece} ’s first birthday – a Jungle Junction cake . How sweet is that ? ’ ‘_{[410-this one]} Very sweet , ’ [I]_{410-this one} agree . ‘_{[410-this one]} How did that come about ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt asked [him]_{410-this one} . ’ [She]_2557-kate shrugs . [I]_2342-matt laugh . [Her]_2557-kate confidence is charming . [She]_2557-kate must hold the world record for first dates . The only long term relationship [she]_2557-kate ’s ever had was with [[my]_2342-matt brother]_{2486-my brother} , but [we]_2487-we do n’t talk about that . Since [they]_2487-we split and [Dan]_93-dan moved to [Australia]_14-australia , [Kate]_2557-kate has been on endless dates , [none of [them]_2487-we]_{2488-none of them} progressing past the first . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m going to get changed and give [[my]_2342-matt Mum]_577-mum a call , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt get up , taking [my]_2342-matt wine with [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll meet [you]_2557-kate on the sofa soon . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Cool , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt really need to speak to [[my]_2342-matt Mum]_577-mum . [Kate]_2557-kate ’s [[my]_2342-matt best friend]_2557-kate , but [you]_2557-kate ca n’t beat [[your]_2557-kate Mother]_577-mum when [you]_2557-kate just want comfort . Not that [I]_2342-matt can tell [her]_2557-kate why [I]_2342-matt need comforting . [She]_2557-kate would be horrified . Once [I]_2342-matt ’m changed into [my]_832-ava baggy pants and a vest top , [I]_832-ava flop onto [my]_832-ava bed and dial [my]_832-ava Mum . It rings once before [she]_2557-kate answers . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [Her]_2557-kate voice is shrill , but still soothing . ‘_[577-mum] Hi , [Mum]_577-mum . ’ ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava ? [Ava]_832-ava ? [Joseph]_95-joseph , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t hear [her]_2557-kate . Am [I]_2342-matt doing it right ? [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m here , [Mum]_577-mum . Can [you]_2342-matt hear [me]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ? [Joseph]_95-joseph , it ’s broken . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t hear anything . [Ava]_832-ava ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hear [[my]_2342-matt Dad]_{578-my dad} ’s mumbled moans in the background before [he]_{578-my dad} comes on the line . ‘ Hello ? ’_{[578-my dad]} ‘ Hi , [Dad]_581-dad , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt yell . ‘ [You]_581-dad do n’t have to bloody shout ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [She]_832-ava could n’t hear [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ That ’s because [she]_832-ava had the bloody thing upside down , [stupid woman]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hear [[my]_2342-matt Mum]_{578-my dad} laugh in the background , followed by a slapping sound that is , without doubt , [her]_{578-my dad} walloping [[my]_2342-matt Dad]_{578-my dad} ’s shoulder . ‘ Is [she]_{578-my dad} there ? Can [you]_581-dad hear [her]_{578-my dad} ? Give [me]_{578-my dad} it here . ’_{[578-my dad]} There ’s a little scuffle before [she]_{578-my dad} ’s back on the line . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ? Are [you]_832-ava there ? ’_{[578-my dad]} ‘ Yes ! ’_[2342-matt] Why did n’t [I]_2342-matt just ring [the landline]_{579-the landline} ? [She]_{578-my dad} insisted [I]_2342-matt ring [her]_{578-my dad} new mobile so [she]_{578-my dad} can get the hang of it , but good [God]_68-god , [she]_{578-my dad} ’s hard work . [She]_{578-my dad} ’s only forty seven , but a complete techno - phobic . ‘ Ah . That ’s better , [I]_{578-my dad} can hear [you]_577-mum now . How are [you]_577-mum ? ’_{[578-my dad]} ‘ Good . [I]_577-mum ’m_[577-mum] good , [Mum]_577-mum . [You]_577-mum ? ’ ‘_[577-mum] Yes , everything ’s fine . Guess what ? [We]_580-we have exciting news , ’ [She]_{578-my dad} does n’t give [me]_580-we a chance to guess . ‘_[580-we] [[Your]_577-mum brother]_{578-my dad} ’s coming [home]_281-home to visit ! ’ [I]_{578-my dad} sit up in excitement . [Dan]_93-dan ’s coming [home]_281-home ? [I]_{578-my dad} ’ve not seen [[my]_{578-my dad} brother]_{578-my dad} for six months . [He]_{578-my dad} ’s living the dream on [the Gold Coast]_{15-the gold coast} as [a surf instructor]_{2489-a surf instructor} and only comes [home]_281-home once or twice a year . [We]_583-we were so close . [Kate]_2557-kate ’s going to freak out over this news , and not in a good way . ‘_{[578-my dad]} When ? ’ [I]_{578-my dad} demand . ‘_{[578-my dad]} Next Sunday . Is n’t it exciting ? [I]_2342-matt was only saying to [[your]_577-mum Dad]_{578-my dad} last week that [we]_583-we should fly out to see [him]_{578-my dad} , but [he]_{578-my dad} wo n’t get on [a plane]_{584-a plane} . [You]_585-you know what [he]_{578-my dad} ’s like . ’ [[My]_585-you Dad]_{578-my dad} ’s fear of flying is highly frustrating to [[my]_585-you poor Mum]_{578-my dad} , who has to endure a two day drive to [Spain]_16-spain every year . ‘_[585-you] Do [you]_585-you know what [his]_{578-my dad} plans are ? ’ [I]_{578-my dad} press . ‘_{[578-my dad]} [He]_{578-my dad} ’s flying into [Heathrow]_17-heathrow , coming straight down to [Cornwall]_18-cornwall for the week to see [me]_2342-matt and [Dad]_581-dad , and then [he]_{578-my dad} ’s making [his]_{578-my dad} way back up to [London]_5-london . Will [you]_585-you come with [him]_{578-my dad} ? [You]_585-you ’ve not visited in weeks . ’ [I]_585-you suddenly feel rotten . [I]_585-you ’ve not seen [[my]_585-you parents]_{2490-my parents} for nearly eight weeks . ‘_[585-you] [I]_2342-matt ’ve been so busy at work , [Mum]_577-mum . [I]_2342-matt ’ve got the Lusso launch , it ’s hectic . [I]_2342-matt ’ll try [my]_2342-matt best , okay ? ’ ‘_[78-darling] [I]_2342-matt know , [darling]_78-darling . How ’s [Kate]_2557-kate ? ’ [she]_2557-kate asks . [Mum]_577-mum still loves [Kate]_2557-kate . [She]_2557-kate was as devastated as [I]_2557-kate was when [she]_2557-kate and [Dan]_93-dan called it quits . ‘_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate ’s great . ’ ‘_[2557-kate] Good . Have [you]_78-darling heard from [Matt]_2342-matt ? ’ [she]_2557-kate asks tentatively . [I]_2342-matt know [she]_2557-kate ’s hoping it ’s a big resounding NO . [She]_2557-kate was n’t as devastated when [Matt]_2342-matt and [I]_2342-matt split up . [He]_2342-matt was n’t [[Mum]_577-mum ’s favourite person]_{2491-mum ’s favourite person} . Come to think of it , [Matt]_2342-matt was n’t [many peoples favourite person]_{2492-many peoples favourite person} . [We]_2493-we ’ve talked since [we]_2493-we split , but [Mum]_577-mum does n’t need to know that . ‘_[2342-matt] No , [I]_2342-matt ’m just getting on with things . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt inform [her]_2557-kate , hearing [her]_2557-kate sigh in relief . [I]_2342-matt wo n’t volunteer exactly what [I]_2342-matt have been getting on with . [I]_2342-matt ’m too ashamed of [myself]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Okay . [Joseph]_95-joseph , get the door , will [you]_95-joseph ? [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to go . [Sue]_97-sue ’s here to pick [me]_2342-matt up for yoga . ’ ‘_[97-sue] Okay , [Mum]_577-mum . [I]_2342-matt ’ll ring next week . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Okay . Good luck for [your]_95-joseph launch and have some fun ! ’ [she]_577-mum orders . [I]_577-mum know [she]_577-mum thinks [I]_577-mum ’ve wasted seven years on two worthwhile relationships . [She]_577-mum ’s right . [I]_577-mum have . ‘_[577-mum] Bye , [Mum]_577-mum . ’ [I]_577-mum hang up . [Dan]_93-dan ’s coming [home]_281-home . Well , that ’s cheered [me]_577-mum up a little . And [I]_577-mum always feel better when [I]_577-mum ’ve spoken to [[my]_577-mum Mum]_577-mum . [They]_586-they ’re_[577-mum] miles away and [I]_2342-matt miss [them]_586-they like crazy , but [I]_2342-matt ’m comforted by the fact that [they]_586-they ’ve escaped the rat race of [London]_5-london , taking early retirement in [Newquay]_19-newquay after [Dad]_581-dad ’s heart attack scare . [My]_2342-matt phone starts ringing and [I]_2342-matt look at the screen , expecting to see [my]_2342-matt Mothers number – [she]_577-mum ’s probably forgot to lock the keypad and sat on it – but it ’s not . It ’s [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse . Ughhhhhhhhh ! ‘_[2342-matt] Reject . ’ [I]_2342-matt huff as [I]_2342-matt red button [him]_581-dad and throw [my]_2342-matt phone on [my]_2342-matt bed . [I]_2342-matt leave [[my]_2342-matt bedroom]_{2495-my bedroom} to go and join [Kate]_2557-kate on the sofa , hearing it ring again as [I]_2342-matt walk down [the hall]_{2496-the hall} . [I]_2342-matt ignore it . [The man]_581-dad is relentless . At least [I]_2342-matt do n’t have to see [him]_581-dad again . [He]_581-dad ’s given [me]_2342-matt the perfect reason to flatly refuse designing anything for [him]_581-dad . Chapter 6 ‘_[2342-matt] Morning , ’ [I]_2342-matt sing to [Tom]_60-tom as [I]_2342-matt sashay past [his]_60-tom desk on Thursday . [He]_60-tom looks up at [me]_2342-matt over [his]_60-tom thick framed spectacles – a blatant fashion statement and [Tom]_60-tom ’s effort to be taken more seriously . [I]_2342-matt should tell [him]_60-tom to lose the canary yellow dress shirt and grey trousers that are verging on leggings . That would do the trick . ‘_[2342-matt] Did [someone]_587-someone get laid ? ’ [He]_60-tom smirks . ‘_{[587-someone]} Join [the club]_{588-the club} , [I]_2342-matt ’m exhausted ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No ! [Tom]_60-tom , [you]_60-tom ’re_[2342-matt] such a tart . ’ [I]_2342-matt feign a disgusted look as [I]_2342-matt throw [my]_2342-matt bag down by [my]_2342-matt desk . ‘_[2342-matt] Anything to report ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask to divert the conversation from [Tom]_60-tom ’s sexcapades . ‘_[2342-matt] Nope , [I]_2342-matt ’m just going over to [Mrs Baines]_{64-mrs baines} to give [her]_{64-mrs baines} a cuddle . [You]_{64-mrs baines} know , [she]_{64-mrs baines} rang [me]_2342-matt at eleven last night to ask if [she]_{64-mrs baines} could expect [the electricians]_{2497-the electricians} in this morning . Interrupted [me]_2342-matt right in the middle of … ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Enough ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hold [my]_2342-matt hands up . ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to know . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt sit down , swinging [my]_2342-matt chair around to face [him]_2342-matt . ‘ Apologies , [darling]_2342-matt . It was really good though ! ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt winks . ‘ Anyway , [she]_{64-mrs baines} ’s in a panic because [her]_{64-mrs baines} summer ball is scheduled for July and [she]_{64-mrs baines} wants all the works completed in time . There ’s not a hope , [darling]_2342-matt ! If [she]_{64-mrs baines} would just stop changing [her]_{64-mrs baines} bloody mind , then [we]_2498-we might get somewhere . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt springs up from [his]_2342-matt chair and air kisses [me]_2342-matt from ten feet away . ‘ Au Revoir , [darling]_2342-matt ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Bye . Oh , where ’s [Victoria]_54-victoria ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout after [him]_2342-matt . ‘ Appointments . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt calls , shutting the door behind [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt turn to face [my]_2342-matt desk as [Sally]_54-victoria places a coffee in front of [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt pick it up immediately , taking a sip while [she]_54-victoria hovers at [my]_2342-matt desk nervously . ‘ [Patrick]_327-jesse called to remind [you]_327-jesse that [he]_327-jesse ’s not in today . ’_{[54-victoria]} [she]_54-victoria says . ‘ Thank [you]_327-jesse , [Sally]_54-victoria . Did [you]_327-jesse have a good weekend ? ’_{[54-victoria]} [She]_54-victoria smiles , nodding enthusiastically as [she]_54-victoria pushes [her]_54-victoria glasses up [her]_54-victoria nose . ‘ [I]_54-victoria did , thank [you]_327-jesse for asking . [I]_54-victoria finished [my]_54-victoria cross - stitch and cleaned all the windows , inside and out . It was wonderful . ’_{[54-victoria]} [she]_54-victoria says dreamily as [she]_54-victoria scurries off to file some invoices . Cleaning windows ? Wonderful ? [The girl]_54-victoria is sweet , but good [Lord]_589-lord , [she]_54-victoria ’s as dull as dish water . [I]_2342-matt spend a few hours working through [my]_2342-matt email to clear [my]_2342-matt inbox . [I]_2342-matt check the final clean - up of [Lusso]_66-lusso is complete and grab [my]_2342-matt phone when it starts dancing across [my]_2342-matt desk . [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes when [I]_2342-matt see who ’s illuminating [my]_2342-matt screen . [He]_590-he just will not give up . Yesterday was a relentless bombardment of calls – all of which [I]_2342-matt rejected – and [he]_590-he ’s still at it . [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to speak to [the man]_2342-matt eventually . [He]_590-he has something that [I]_2342-matt need … [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} . At one o’clock , [I]_2342-matt leave [the office]_{279-the office} to meet [Kate]_2557-kate for lunch . ‘ Are there [any decent men left in [the world]_{516-the world}]_{2499-any decent men left in the world} ? ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate asks thoughtfully , dabbing [her]_2557-kate mouth with a napkin . ‘ [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] losing the will to live . ’ ‘_[2557-kate] It was n’t that bad , was it ? ’ [I]_832-ava ask . [Her]_2557-kate date yesterday evening was a failure . When [she]_2557-kate walked into [the apartment]_{279-the office} at nine thirty , [I]_832-ava knew it could n’t be good news . [She]_2557-kate drops [her]_2557-kate napkin on [her]_2557-kate empty plate , pushing it away . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , when [a man]_{340-a man} gets a calculator out at the end of a meal to work out what [you]_595-you owe , it ’s usually not a good sign . ’ [I]_832-ava laugh . No , this is not a good sign ; it ’s equality gone mad . [The modern man]_{340-a man} needs to catch on to the fact that [women]_348-women want to be treated as equals , but only when it suits [us]_2502-we . [The modern woman]_832-ava ’s fierce need for independence does n’t mean [we]_2502-we want to pay for [our]_2502-we half of a meal , or that [we]_2502-we do n’t want [a man]_{340-a man} to hold a door open for [us]_2502-we . [We]_2502-we still want to be looked after , but on [our]_2502-we terms . ‘_[832-ava] So , [you]_595-you wo n’t be seeing [him]_{340-a man} again ? ’ [She]_832-ava scoffs . ‘_[832-ava] No , the bill saga was bad enough . When [he]_{340-a man} dropped [me]_2342-matt [home]_281-home in [the taxi]_{597-the taxi} and accepted the twenty [I]_2342-matt offered [him]_{340-a man} , it finished [me]_2342-matt off . ’ ‘_[595-you] [You]_595-you were a cheap date . ’ [I]_595-you giggle . ‘_[595-you] Yeah . ’ [She]_832-ava picks up [her]_832-ava phone and starts tapping away at the screen , holding it up to show [me]_595-you . ‘_[595-you] One BLT and [two waters]_{598-two waters} , [you]_595-you owe twelve quid . ’ [We]_2503-we both have a little laugh at [Kate]_2557-kate ’s failed date . [I]_595-you love that [she]_2557-kate can be so lighthearted about it . [Kate]_2557-kate maintains that it will happen when it happens . [I]_595-you ’m_[595-you] with [her]_599-her on this . ‘ When will [[your]_595-you car]_{2324-your car} be ready ? ’_[599-her] [she]_599-her asks . [Crap]_98-crap ! [She]_599-her ’s supposed to be borrowing it to visit [her]_599-her Nan in [Yorkshire]_20-yorkshire on Saturday , and it ’s Thursday already . [I]_2342-matt need to sort this out . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll give [the garage]_{2505-the garage} a ring later . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt assure [her]_599-her . ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t mind taking [the van]_{600-the van} . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No , it ’s fine . [I]_599-her do n’t think [Margo]_1052-margo will get [you]_{600-the van} there . ’_[599-her] [She]_599-her ’s [a twenty year old , hot pink VW camper van that spits and fires all over [London]_5-london on cake deliveries]_{600-the van} . [Kate]_2557-kate ’s carbon footprint must be huge . [My]_2342-matt phone shouts and [Kate]_2557-kate leans over to see who ’s calling [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt whip it off the table , far too hastily . But it ’s too late . [I]_2342-matt look at [her]_2557-kate nervously as [I]_2342-matt red button [him]_{600-the van} again , before placing it back on the table as casually as [I]_2342-matt can . [My]_2342-matt jumpy reaction does n’t get past [Kate]_2557-kate . Not much does . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse , ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate says with an arched brow . ‘ What would [he]_{600-the van} want ? ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt ’ve not shared any of the hideous events of Tuesday with [Kate]_2557-kate . [I]_2342-matt ’m too ashamed . [I]_2342-matt shrug . ‘_[2342-matt] Who knows ? ’ ‘_[2557-kate] Have there been any more suggestive texts ? ’ Oh , more than texts . There have been endless phone calls and the fact that [he]_{600-the van} tricked [me]_2342-matt into going back to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} on the pretense that [I]_2342-matt was designing , only to have [me]_2342-matt trapped in one of [[his]_{600-the van} hotel suites]_{2507-his hotel suites} so [he]_{600-the van} could seduce [me]_2342-matt . [Kate]_2557-kate would thrive on [my]_2342-matt misfortune , which is exactly why [I]_2342-matt ’ve not told [her]_2557-kate . If [I]_2342-matt do n’t hear the words out loud , then [I]_2342-matt can almost pretend it did n’t happen … almost . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] [a fool]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’ve thought of little else , and [he]_2342-matt ’s not helping [me]_2342-matt in [my]_2342-matt attempt to eradicate [him]_2342-matt from [my]_2342-matt mind with all [his]_2342-matt calls . [I]_2342-matt do n’t need to be getting involved with [anyone]_2475-anyone , especially [someone who ’s already involved with someone else]_{603-someone who ’s already involved with someone else} . Besides , [I]_2342-matt ’m just a mission for [him]_2342-matt to accomplish . [The man]_2342-matt ’s [a playboy]_{2508-a playboy} and not the sort of man [I]_2342-matt need to be getting involved with . [He]_2342-matt quite obviously has commitment issues . [I]_2342-matt do n’t like [Sarah]_54-victoria , but [I]_2342-matt do feel sorry for [her]_54-victoria . ‘_[2342-matt] No . ’ [I]_2342-matt answer on a sigh . [She]_54-victoria looks at [me]_2342-matt questioningly , making [me]_2342-matt feel like [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] under examination . [I]_2342-matt am . [I]_2342-matt ’m twiddling [my]_604-i hair . [I]_604-i release it on a huff . ‘_[604-i] [You]_604-i deserve some fun . ’ [she]_54-victoria says thoughtfully . Fun ? [I]_604-i do n’t call getting tied up with [an involved man]_{2509-an involved man} fun by any stretch of the imagination . [I]_604-i call it stupid ! ‘_[604-i] After [Matt]_2342-matt , [you]_2342-matt definitely deserve some fun . ’ [I]_604-i ’m_[604-i] keen not to get into a conversation about [Matt]_2342-matt . [Kate]_2557-kate does n’t know that [he]_2342-matt still calls [me]_2342-matt now and then . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know why [he]_2342-matt does . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to get back to work , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt lean over , giving [Kate]_2557-kate a peck on the cheek . ‘ Luv [ya]_2510-ya . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yeah , ditto . [I]_2557-kate ’ll be late tonight . There ’s a cake convention at [The Hilton]_{2511-the hilton} . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate gets up , waving [me]_2342-matt away when [I]_2342-matt try to give [her]_2557-kate some money for lunch . ‘ It ’s [my]_2342-matt turn . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt put [my]_2342-matt money back in [my]_2342-matt purse . ‘ Okay , but it ’s [my]_2342-matt shout next time . ’_[2342-matt] [We]_605-we leave [each other]_{606-each other} outside [the bar]_{361-the bar} , [Kate]_2557-kate heading back to [[her]_2557-kate workshop]_{2322-her workshop} , [me]_2342-matt back to [the office]_{279-the office} . * * * [I]_2342-matt collapse onto the sofa when [I]_2342-matt get [home]_281-home . [I]_2342-matt need an early night . Tomorrow will be a long day at [Lusso]_66-lusso and [I]_2342-matt need to be on form . [My]_2342-matt phone rings . [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes as [I]_2342-matt look at the screen , but it ’s not who [I]_2342-matt expected it to be . It ’s [Matt]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt groan to [myself]_2342-matt . When will [my]_2342-matt phone ring and it be someone that [I]_2342-matt actually want to speak to ? ‘ Hi , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt all but groan . ‘ All right ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt greets , with [his]_2342-matt usual confident tone . ‘ Yeah , and [you]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt know [he]_2342-matt ’s fine . [I]_2342-matt ’ve heard [he]_2342-matt ’s out almost every night , catching up on lost time . Not that [our]_611-our relationship prevented [him]_2342-matt from living exactly how [he]_2342-matt wanted to anyway . ‘ All good . [I]_2342-matt was ringing to wish [you]_2342-matt luck for tomorrow . It ’s tomorrow , right ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m surprised [he]_2342-matt remembered . [He]_2342-matt never really took an interest in [my]_2342-matt career . ‘_[2342-matt] Yeah , thanks . [I]_2342-matt was just thinking about getting an early night . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , okay , [I]_2342-matt wo n’t keep [you]_2342-matt then , ’ [He]_2342-matt sounds disappointed . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve boxed up the rest of [your]_2342-matt things . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , right , ’ ‘_[2342-matt] There ’s no rush , ’ [he]_2342-matt adds . ‘_[2342-matt] If [you]_2342-matt ’re free sometime , it would be nice to catch up . ’_[2342-matt] It would ? Catch up on what ? How many women [he]_2342-matt ’s slept with since [I]_2342-matt left ? It ’s nice that [we]_611-our ’re still on talking terms , [I]_2342-matt did spend four years with [the guy]_2342-matt , but [he]_2342-matt ’s taking the whole “ let ’s be [friends]_2512-friends ” role a bit too far , treating [me]_2342-matt like one of [[his]_2342-matt mates]_{2513-his mates} and filling [me]_2342-matt in on all of [his]_2342-matt latest conquests . [I]_2342-matt do n’t care , but [I]_2342-matt also do n’t want to hear about it . ‘_[2342-matt] Sure , [I]_2342-matt ’ll ring [you]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt suggest . ‘_[2342-matt] Make sure [you]_2342-matt do , [I]_2342-matt miss [you]_2342-matt . ’ WHOA ! Where did that come from ? Is [he]_{612-the friend} drunk ? ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt do ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . The shock in [my]_2342-matt voice is quite clear . [He]_{612-the friend} laughs . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do . Good luck tomorrow . ’ [I]_2342-matt hang up and sit wondering if it ’s time to collect [my]_2342-matt things and sever all ties . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not so sure [the friend]_{612-the friend} ’s scenario is going to work with [us]_613-us . Does it ever work ? [My]_2342-matt phone rings again , but it ’s a number that [I]_2342-matt do n’t recognise . ‘ [Ava O’Shea]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt announce down the line , but there ’s no reply . ‘ Hello ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Are [you]_832-ava alone ? ’_[2342-matt] The voice hits [me]_2342-matt like a sledgehammer to the gut . Oh , fucking hell . [I]_2342-matt stand up and sit back down again . Visions of [him]_{612-the friend} stood half naked before [me]_2342-matt , pleading to [me]_2342-matt with [his]_{612-the friend} eyes , start to assault [my]_2342-matt mind ’s eye . This is exactly why [I]_2342-matt ’ve been avoiding [his]_{612-the friend} calls . The affect [he]_{612-the friend} has on [me]_2342-matt is unsettling and most unwelcome . Why did n’t [his]_{612-the friend} name come up on [my]_2342-matt phone ? ‘ No . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt lie , a sweat breaking out across [my]_2342-matt brow . [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_{612-the friend} sigh . It ’s a loud sigh . ‘ Why are [you]_{612-the friend} lying to [me]_{612-the friend} ? ’_{[612-the friend]} [I]_2342-matt jump back up from the sofa . How does [he]_{612-the friend} know ? Darting across [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} , [my]_2342-matt wine swishing out of [my]_2342-matt glass , [I]_2342-matt look out of the window to [the road]_{2482-the road} , but [I]_2342-matt ca n’t see [[his]_{612-the friend} car]_{2476-his car} . How does [he]_{612-the friend} know [I]_2342-matt ’m alone ? In a panic and with a lump in [my]_{612-the friend} throat , [I]_{612-the friend} hang up . It rings again immediately . [I]_{612-the friend} chuck [my]_{612-the friend} phone onto the couch and let it ring off . And then it rings again . ‘_{[612-the friend]} Go away ! ’ [I]_2342-matt pace [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} , biting [my]_2342-matt nails and swigging [my]_2342-matt wine . Tuesday ’s events flood back into [my]_2342-matt mind , but not the bad stuff . Oh , no … it ’s all the bloody good stuff . How [he]_{612-the friend} made [me]_2342-matt feel , how [his]_{612-the friend} hands felt on [me]_2342-matt . Everything before [I]_2342-matt heard the shrill , cold voice of [[his]_2342-matt girlfriend]_{2455-his girlfriend} . [I]_2342-matt slam a lid on [my]_2342-matt thoughts immediately . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] a pawn in [his]_2342-matt sexual exploits , and [he]_2342-matt ’s probably feeling hard done by after [I]_2342-matt pulled the plug on [his]_2342-matt charade . [My]_2342-matt phone declares a text message . [I]_2342-matt creep cautiously towards the sofa , like [my]_2342-matt phone might launch itself upwards and bite [me]_2342-matt . For [God]_68-god ’s sake , [I]_2342-matt ’m being pathetic . [I]_2342-matt grab [my]_2342-matt phone and open the text . Answer [your]_2342-matt phone ! It rings again in [my]_2342-matt hand , making [me]_2342-matt jump , even though [I]_2342-matt completely expected it . [He]_2342-matt ’s relentless . [I]_2342-matt let it ring off again and , quite childishly , text back , No [I]_2342-matt pace some more , up and down , swigging wine and clutching [my]_2342-matt phone . It ’s not long before another text arrives . Fine , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] coming in . ‘ What ? Oh no ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout at [my]_2342-matt phone . It is one thing ignoring the phone , but it ’s a whole other level of resistance trying to repel [him]_2342-matt when [he]_2342-matt ’s flesh and blood and looking right at [me]_2342-matt . Shit , shit , shit ! [I]_2342-matt frantically pull up [my]_2342-matt call log to call [him]_2342-matt . It rings once . ‘ Too late , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt drawls down the line . [I]_2342-matt stare at [my]_2342-matt phone in uncertainty , and then the banging starts . [I]_2342-matt run onto the landing , leaning over the banister as [he]_2342-matt hammers on the door . ‘ Open the door , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt bangs again . What ’s [he]_2342-matt thinking ? Is [he]_2342-matt that desperate ? Bang , bang , bang ! ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not going anywhere until [you]_617-you talk to [me]_2342-matt , please . ’ Bang , bang , bang ! ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve got [your]_617-you keys , [Ava]_832-ava . [I]_2342-matt ’ll let [myself]_2342-matt in . ’ Oh shit . [He]_2342-matt would as well . Okay , [I]_2342-matt ’ll let [him]_2342-matt in , listen to what [he]_2342-matt has to say , and then [he]_2342-matt can leave . Anyway , [I]_2342-matt need [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} back . [I]_2342-matt ’ll just have to keep as far away from [him]_2342-matt as possible , keep [my]_2342-matt eyes closed and hold [my]_2342-matt breath so [I]_2342-matt ca n’t smell [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt must not let [him]_2342-matt breach [my]_2342-matt defences . [I]_2342-matt put [my]_2342-matt glass down on the console table at the top of [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} and look at [myself]_2342-matt in the mirror . [My]_2342-matt hairs piled up on top of [my]_2342-matt head , but at least [I]_2342-matt have n’t taken [my]_2342-matt make up off yet . It could be worse . Wait … why am [I]_2342-matt worried , anyway ? The worse [I]_2342-matt look the better , surely ? [He]_327-jesse needs telling to back off . [Bang]_100-bang , bang , bang ! [I]_2342-matt storm down [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} in confident and determined strides , opening the door in a huff . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] doomed . [I]_2342-matt keep underestimating – or forgetting – the affect [this man]_327-jesse has on [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m trembling already . [His]_327-jesse hands are braced on the door frame as [he]_327-jesse looks up at [me]_2342-matt through hooded lids , panting and looking really quite pissed . [His]_327-jesse blonde hair is all disheveled , [he]_327-jesse has [his]_327-jesse stubble back and [his]_327-jesse pale pink shirt is undone at the collar , tucked into grey trousers . [He]_327-jesse looks delicious . [He]_327-jesse punches holes into [me]_2342-matt with [his]_327-jesse sludgy eyes . ‘_[2342-matt] Why did [you]_327-jesse stop it ? ’ [His]_327-jesse breathing is laboured . ‘_[327-jesse] What ? ’ [I]_327-jesse ask impatiently . [He]_327-jesse ’s here to ask [me]_327-jesse that ? Is n’t it obvious ? [He]_327-jesse grits [his]_327-jesse teeth . ‘_[327-jesse] Why did [you]_327-jesse run out on [me]_2342-matt ? ’ ‘_[327-jesse] Because it was a mistake , ’ [I]_327-jesse grate , through equally gritted teeth . [My]_327-jesse irritation at [his]_327-jesse audacity is overpowering the other more unwelcome affect [he]_327-jesse ’s having on [me]_327-jesse . ‘_[327-jesse] It was n’t a mistake , and [you]_327-jesse know it , ’ [he]_327-jesse grinds . ‘_[327-jesse] The only mistake was [me]_2342-matt letting [you]_327-jesse go . ’ What ? Oh , [I]_327-jesse ca n’t do this . [I]_327-jesse go to push the door shut , but [his]_327-jesse hand slams against the other side to stop it . ‘_[327-jesse] Oh , no [you]_327-jesse do n’t . ’ [He]_327-jesse pushes against [me]_327-jesse , easily overpowering [me]_327-jesse , and steps into [the hallway]_{2517-the hallway} , slamming the door behind [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[327-jesse] [You]_327-jesse ’re not running this time . [You]_327-jesse ’ve done it to [me]_327-jesse twice already , not again . [You]_327-jesse ’re_[327-jesse] going to face the music . ’ With bare feet , [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] almost a foot shorter than [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt feel small and weak as [he]_327-jesse towers over [me]_2342-matt , still breathing hard . [I]_2342-matt back away , but [he]_327-jesse walks forward , keeping the distance between [us]_620-us minimal . [My]_2342-matt plan to maintain space is failing fast , and [he]_327-jesse smells divine in all [his]_327-jesse minty , fresh water magnificence . ‘ [You]_327-jesse need to leave . [Kate]_2557-kate will be [home]_281-home in a minute . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse stops [his]_327-jesse approach , scowling at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Stop lying , ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse snaps , slapping [my]_2342-matt hand away from [my]_2342-matt hair . ‘ Quit the bullshit , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt have no idea what to say to [him]_327-jesse . Defence is n’t working – maybe disinterest . [He]_327-jesse ’s incredibly thick skinned and obviously use to getting what [he]_327-jesse wants . [I]_2342-matt turn away to walk back up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} . ‘ Why are [you]_2519-you [here]_314-here ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask , but before [I]_2342-matt make it very far , [he]_327-jesse ’s behind [me]_2342-matt and grabbing at [my]_2342-matt wrist . [I]_2342-matt ’m spun around to face [him]_327-jesse , the contact putting [me]_2342-matt on instant red alert . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] on dangerous ground here . Just being near [this man]_327-jesse turns [me]_2342-matt into [a reckless , irrational fool]_{622-a reckless , irrational fool} . This is plain kamikaze territory . Why did [I]_2342-matt let [him]_327-jesse in ? ‘ [You]_327-jesse know why . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse spits . ‘ Do [I]_327-jesse ? ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt ask incredulously . [I]_2342-matt do , actually . Well , [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt do . [He]_327-jesse wants to pick up where [we]_623-we left off . [He]_327-jesse wants mission accomplished . ‘ Yes , [you]_327-jesse do . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse says simply . [I]_2342-matt yank [my]_2342-matt wrist from [his]_327-jesse grip , backing up until [my]_2342-matt butt hits the wall behind [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Because [you]_327-jesse want to hear how loud [I]_2342-matt ’ll scream ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No ! ’_[327-jesse] ‘ [You]_327-jesse are , undeniably , the most arrogant arsehole [I]_72-jesus ’ve ever met . [I]_72-jesus ’m_[72-jesus] not interested in becoming a sexual conquest . ’ ‘_[327-jesse] Conquest ? ’ [he]_327-jesse snorts , turning away and commencing pointless pacing . ‘_[327-jesse] What fucking planet are [you]_624-you on , [woman]_72-jesus ? ’ [I]_72-jesus stand there in utter shock . How dare [he]_327-jesse come here and start shouting the odds at [me]_72-jesus . [I]_72-jesus feel [my]_72-jesus unease disappear and [my]_72-jesus earlier irritation convert into boiling rage . The urgent need to defend [myself]_72-jesus , to put [him]_327-jesse straight , has [my]_72-jesus jaw clenched to aching point . [His]_327-jesse opinion of [me]_72-jesus is very low if [he]_327-jesse thinks [I]_72-jesus ’ll just jump into bed with [any man [I]_72-jesus meet]_{2521-any man i meet} . But then , [I]_72-jesus do n’t have to answer to [him]_327-jesse . The fact that [he]_327-jesse has [a girlfriend]_{2411-a girlfriend} is immaterial at this point . [He]_327-jesse thinks [he]_327-jesse can just take what [he]_327-jesse wants or throw a wobbly if [he]_327-jesse meets some resistance . ‘_[72-jesus] Get out ! ’ [He]_327-jesse stops pacing and looks at [me]_72-jesus . ‘_[72-jesus] No ! ’ [he]_327-jesse yells , recommencing [his]_327-jesse marching . [I]_72-jesus start thinking of how to get [him]_626-him out of [the house]_{308-the place} . [I]_72-jesus ’m_[72-jesus] never going to be able to manhandle [him]_626-him and touching [him]_626-him would be a massive mistake . ‘ [I]_72-jesus ’m_[72-jesus] not fucking interested ! Now , get out . ’ [My]_72-jesus shaky voice lets down [my]_72-jesus cool front , but [I]_72-jesus stand firm . ‘_[72-jesus] Watch [your]_627-me fucking mouth ! ’ Oh , the cheek . ‘_[72-jesus] Get out ! ’ ‘_[72-jesus] Okay , ’ [he]_327-jesse says simply , quitting the marching to hammer [me]_72-jesus with [his]_327-jesse stare . ‘_[72-jesus] Look [me]_2342-matt in the eyes and tell [me]_2342-matt [you]_627-me do n’t want to see [me]_2342-matt again , and [I]_2342-matt ’ll go . [You]_627-me ’ll never have to lay eyes on [me]_2342-matt again . ’ Okay , that should be relatively easy , but to [my]_627-me utter shock , the thought of not seeing [him]_626-him again actually sends a nasty ache to [my]_627-me stomach , which is , of course , completely ridiculous . [He]_626-him ’s [a virtual stranger to [me]_627-me]_{2524-a virtual stranger to me} , but [God]_68-god does [he]_628-his spark a reaction in [me]_627-me . [He]_628-his makes [me]_627-me feel ... [I]_627-me ’m_[627-me] not sure exactly what it is . But even now , when [I]_2342-matt ’m raging at [his]_628-his damn nerve , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] fighting to control the unwanted reactions [he]_628-his sparks in [me]_2342-matt . When [I]_2342-matt say nothing , [he]_628-his starts advancing towards [me]_2342-matt , [his]_628-his long , even strides having [him]_628-his directly in front of [me]_2342-matt in just a few paces . There ’s barely an inch between [us]_629-our . ‘ Say it . ’_[628-his] [he]_628-his breathes . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t get [my]_2342-matt mouth to function . [I]_2342-matt ’m aware of [my]_2342-matt shallow breathing , pounding heart and a dull throb in [my]_2342-matt groin . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] alert to similar reactions emanating from [him]_628-his . [I]_2342-matt can see [his]_628-his heart hammering under [his]_628-his pale pink shirt . [I]_2342-matt can feel [his]_628-his heavy , minty breath on [my]_2342-matt face . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t vouch for the throb , but [I]_2342-matt suspect it ’s there . The sexual tension ricocheting between [our]_629-our close bodies is tangible . ‘ [You]_2525-you ca n’t , can [you]_2525-you ? ’_[628-his] [he]_628-his whispers . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t ! [I]_2342-matt ’m trying . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] trying really hard , but the bloody words wo n’t come out . The proximity of [our]_629-our bodies and [him]_628-his breathing on [me]_2342-matt is re - establishing all of those incredible feelings . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been catapulted back to [our]_629-our previous encounter , except this time there ’s no risk of being interrupted by unfriendly girlfriends . Nothing to stop [me]_2342-matt , apart from [my]_2342-matt conscience , but that ’s drowning in desire right now , so it ’s of no help to [me]_2342-matt , whatsoever . [He]_628-his places the tip of [his]_628-his finger on [my]_2342-matt shoulder , [his]_628-his touch sending an inferno racing through [me]_2342-matt , and slowly , lightly , [he]_628-his drags [his]_628-his finger up the column of [my]_2342-matt neck until it rests at the sensitive pressure point under [my]_2342-matt ear . [My]_2342-matt heart goes into overdrive . ‘ Boom … boom … boom , ’_[628-his] [he]_628-his breathes . ‘ [I]_628-his can feel it , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[628-his] [I]_2342-matt go rigid , pushing [myself]_2342-matt further into the wall . ‘ Please , leave . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt barely get the words out . ‘ Put [your]_2342-matt hand over [my]_628-his heart . ’_[628-his] [he]_628-his whispers , grabbing [my]_2342-matt hand and placing it on [his]_628-his chest . [He]_628-his need n’t have done that . [I]_2342-matt can see [his]_628-his heart going ten to the dozen under [his]_628-his shirt . [I]_2342-matt did n’t need to feel it . ‘ What ’s [your]_2342-matt point ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask quietly . [I]_2342-matt know exactly what [his]_628-his point is . [He]_628-his ’s just as affected by [me]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt am by [him]_628-his . ‘ [You]_2342-matt are [one stubborn woman]_2342-matt . Let [me]_628-his ask [you]_2342-matt the same question . ’_[628-his] ‘ What do [you]_2342-matt mean ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask quietly , still not looking at [him]_628-his . ‘ [I]_2342-matt mean , why are [you]_2342-matt trying to stop the inevitable ? What ’s [your]_2342-matt point , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[2342-matt] Wrapping [his]_628-his fingers around [my]_2342-matt neck , [he]_628-his tilts [my]_2342-matt face up so [I]_2342-matt meet [his]_628-his eyes . [I]_2342-matt ’m immediately consumed by [them]_2526-them . [His]_628-his lips are parted and moist , [his]_628-his minty breath invading [my]_2342-matt nose , [his]_628-his blazing eyes staring down at [me]_2342-matt . [His]_628-his long lashes are fanning [his]_628-his cheek bones as [he]_628-his leans down so [his]_628-his lips brush [my]_2342-matt ear . [I]_2342-matt release a quiet gasp . ‘_[2342-matt] There it is , ’ [he]_628-his murmurs as [he]_628-his trails feathery light kisses down the side of [my]_630-he throat . ‘_[630-he] [You]_630-he feel it . ’ [I]_630-he do . [I]_630-he ’m_[630-he] incapable of stopping this . Any rational thinking has been besieged . [I]_2342-matt ’m completely immobilised . [My]_2342-matt brain has shut down and [my]_2342-matt body is taking over . As [his]_628-his mouth works its way across [my]_2342-matt jaw , [I]_2342-matt reside [myself]_2342-matt to the fact that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] lost – to [him]_630-he , [I]_2342-matt am lost . But then [I]_2342-matt hear the sound of a mobile phone ringing . It ’s not [mine]_2342-matt , but the interruption is enough to snap [me]_2342-matt out of the trance [he]_630-he sends [me]_2342-matt into . Oh God , it ’s probably [Sarah]_54-victoria . [I]_2342-matt raise [my]_2342-matt hands to [his]_630-he firm chest and shove [him]_630-he away . ‘ Stop , please ! ’_[630-he] [He]_630-he pulls away , yanking [his]_630-he phone from [his]_630-he pocket . ‘ Fuck ! ’_[630-he] [He]_630-he rejects the call and looks at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_630-he still have n’t said it . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m staggered at [my]_2342-matt inability to utter some very simple words . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not interested . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt whisper . [I]_2342-matt sound desperate , and [I]_2342-matt know it . ‘ [You]_630-he have to stop this . Whatever [you]_630-he think [you]_630-he felt , what [you]_630-he think [I]_2342-matt felt , [you]_630-he ’re_[2342-matt] mistaken . ’ [I]_2342-matt do n’t mention [Sarah]_54-victoria because that would be admitting that [I]_2342-matt can feel something , that [she]_54-victoria ’s the only reason [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] stopping this . It ’s not , of course . There ’s the obvious age gap , the fact that [he]_630-he has heartbreaker written all over [him]_630-he , and the even more important part … [he]_630-he ’s [a cheater]_{631-a cheater} . [He]_630-he laughs a proper amused laugh . ‘ Think ? [Ava]_832-ava , do n’t [you]_832-ava dare try and pass this off as a figment of [my]_630-he imagination . Did [I]_630-he imagine that ? Just then , was that [my]_630-he imagination ? Give [me]_630-he some credit . ’_[630-he] ‘ [You]_832-ava give [me]_630-he some fucking credit ! ’_[630-he] ‘ Mouth ! ’_[630-he] [he]_630-he shouts . ‘ [I]_2342-matt told [you]_832-ava to leave . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say calmly . ‘ And [I]_630-he told [you]_832-ava , look [me]_630-he in the eyes and tell [me]_630-he [you]_832-ava do n’t want [me]_630-he . ’_[630-he] [He]_630-he stares at [me]_2342-matt expectantly , like [he]_630-he knows [I]_2342-matt ca n’t say it . ‘ [I]_630-he do n’t want [you]_832-ava . ’_[630-he] [I]_2342-matt murmur , looking straight into [his]_630-he green pools . It actually causes [me]_2342-matt physical pain . [I]_2342-matt ’m shocked . [He]_630-he inhales sharply , looking wounded . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t believe [you]_2342-matt . ’ [he]_630-he says softly , flicking [his]_630-he eyes to [my]_2342-matt twiddling fingers . [I]_2342-matt remove them instantly . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt should . ’ [I]_2342-matt define the words clearly , and it takes every bit of strength [I]_2342-matt have . [We]_2527-we stare at [each other]_{606-each other} for what seems like an eternity , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] the first to look away . [I]_2342-matt can think of nothing more to say , and [I]_2342-matt silently implore [him]_630-he to leave before [I]_2342-matt take the dangerous path [I]_2342-matt know [he]_630-he ’ll be . [He]_630-he runs [his]_630-he hands through [his]_630-he hair in frustration , curses and stalks out . When the front door slams behind [him]_630-he , [I]_2342-matt allow air to rush into [my]_2342-matt lungs as [I]_2342-matt sag against the wall . That was , irrefutably , the most difficult thing [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever done , which is crazy , because by reason , it should have been the easiest . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t even begin to understand the why s and wherefores of it . [His]_630-he wounded expression when [I]_2342-matt conformed to [his]_630-he demands to deny that [I]_2342-matt wanted [him]_630-he had nearly crippled [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt wanted to scream , “ [I]_2342-matt felt it too ! ” but where would that have got [me]_2342-matt ? [I]_2342-matt know exactly where – against the wall with [Jesse]_327-jesse buried deep inside [me]_2342-matt . And while the thought of that makes [me]_2342-matt shiver with pleasure , it would be a gargantuan mistake . [I]_2342-matt feel riddled with guilt already at [my]_2342-matt deplorable behavior . [The man]_327-jesse is a cheating arse . An Adonis to boot , but a cheating arse , nonetheless . Everything about [this man]_327-jesse screams trouble . And [he]_327-jesse ’s still got [my]_2342-matt fucking keys . [I]_2342-matt shudder and head for a shower , content that [I]_2342-matt ’ve done the right thing . [I]_2342-matt ’ve put [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse in [[his]_327-jesse place]_327-jesse and saved [myself]_2342-matt another boat load of guilt . [I]_2342-matt shall ignore the painful ache in [my]_2342-matt gut because acknowledging it would be as good as admitting out loud , to [myself]_2342-matt and [Jesse]_327-jesse , that … yes , [I]_2342-matt felt it too . Chapter 7 [I]_2342-matt ’m wide awake and [my]_2342-matt alarm has n’t even gone off yet . On a long , drawn out sigh , [I]_2342-matt drag [myself]_2342-matt out of bed and head for [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} to take a shower . [I]_2342-matt ’ve got a busy day at [Lusso]_66-lusso ahead of [me]_2342-matt so [I]_2342-matt may as well get started . [I]_2342-matt ’ve not slept for shit , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] completely ignoring the reason why . [I]_2342-matt ’m going to be on [my]_2342-matt feet all day , traipsing around [the complex]_{2530-the complex} ensuring everything is just right , so [I]_2342-matt chuck on some baggy ripped jeans – [I]_2342-matt ca n’t bear to throw them away – a white burnt out t - shirt and [my]_2342-matt flip flops . [I]_2342-matt scrape [my]_2342-matt hair into a loose , messy up - do and pray it behaves later when [I]_2342-matt pin it up for the evening . [I]_2342-matt doubt [I]_2342-matt ’ll have time to come [home]_281-home and shower , so [I]_2342-matt get [my]_2342-matt mini suitcase and load it with everything [I]_2342-matt ’ll need to shower at [Lusso]_66-lusso later . [I]_2342-matt retrieve a suit bag and put [my]_2342-matt knee length , cherry red pencil dress in , smoothing it neatly and quietly hoping it does n’t crease . Lastly , [I]_2342-matt grab black suede heels , [my]_2342-matt black onyx studs and check [my]_2342-matt work case is loaded with everything [I]_2342-matt ’ll need at [Lusso]_66-lusso . It ’s going to be a ball ache lugging it all on the tube , but [I]_2342-matt have little other option with [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} still being kept captive by [a certain hot headed , arrogant male]_{2533-a certain hot headed , arrogant male} . [Kate]_2557-kate might well be taking [Margo]_1052-margo to [Yorkshire]_20-yorkshire . As [I]_2342-matt walk down [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , [I]_2342-matt see [my]_2342-matt car keys lying on the door mat . So , [the man]_2342-matt ’s seen sense and freed [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} . Does this mean [he]_2342-matt ’s also seen sense and given up pursuing [me]_2342-matt ? Has [he]_2342-matt got the message ? Perhaps [he]_2342-matt has , because there have been no calls or texts since [he]_2342-matt steamed out last night . Am [I]_2342-matt disappointed ? [I]_2342-matt do n’t have time to consider this . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m off , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout through to [Kate]_2557-kate . ‘ [[My]_2557-kate car]_{2336-my car} ’s back . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate pokes [her]_2557-kate head around the door of [[her]_2557-kate workshop]_{2322-her workshop} . ‘ Great , good luck . [I]_2557-kate ’ll be there later to drink all the expensive champagne . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ Oh , yes . See [you]_2557-kate later . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt run down [the path]_{2482-the road} , halting when [I]_2342-matt see a cheap mobile phone smashed to pieces in the middle of the pavement . [I]_2342-matt know where that ’s come from . [I]_2342-matt kick it into the gutter and continue to [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} . Oh , it ’s good to have [her]_2557-kate back . [I]_2342-matt load [my]_2342-matt things into the boot and jump into the driver seat , only to find [myself]_2342-matt miles away from the steering wheel . Laughing , [I]_2342-matt shift the seat forward so [my]_2342-matt feet reach the pedals . [I]_2342-matt start [her]_2557-kate up and jump out of [my]_2342-matt skin when the stereo blasts Blur around [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} . [Christ]_72-jesus , is [his]_72-jesus lack of hearing an indication to [his]_72-jesus age ? [I]_2342-matt turn it down , faltering when the words of the track register . It ’s [Country house]_{636-country house} . [I]_2342-matt fight the small part of [me]_2342-matt that wants to laugh at [his]_72-jesus little joke and remove the disc from the stereo . [I]_2342-matt do n’t think [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever come across [anyone]_2475-anyone so conceited in all [my]_2342-matt life . [I]_2342-matt replace the unwanted CD with a Ministry of Sound Chill out Session and head for [St Katharine Docks]_{6-st katharine docks} . When [I]_2342-matt pull up outside [Lusso]_66-lusso , [I]_2342-matt present [my]_2342-matt face to the camera and the gates open immediately . [I]_2342-matt park up and see [the caterers]_{638-the caterers} unloading crockery and glasses as [I]_2342-matt get [my]_2342-matt work case from the boot and head into [the building]_{308-the place} . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been [here]_314-here a million times , but [I]_2342-matt ’m still completely stunned by the pure extravagance of [the place]_{308-the place} . As [I]_101-clive walk into [the foyer]_{2536-the foyer} , [I]_101-clive see [Clive]_101-clive , one of [the concierges]_{2537-the concierges} , playing with the new computer equipment . [He]_101-clive ’s part of [a team who ’ll provide a six star hotel - style service]_{2538-a team who ’ll provide a six star hotel - style service} , organising anything from [grocery shopping and theatre tickets]_{2539-grocery shopping and theatre tickets} , to helicopter charters and dinner reservations . [I]_101-clive cross the marble floor , which has been polished to within an inch of its life , and head towards [Clive]_101-clive ’s huge , curved concierge desk . [I]_101-clive spot dozens of black vases and hundreds of Italian red roses , placed carefully to the side . At least [I]_101-clive wo n’t have to chase the delivery of those . ‘_[101-clive] Good morning , [Clive]_101-clive . ’ [I]_832-ava say , approaching [his]_101-clive desk . [He]_101-clive looks up from one of the screens , the panic on [his]_101-clive friendly face clear . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt ’ve read this manual four times in a week and [I]_2342-matt ’m still clueless . [We]_2540-we never had anything like this at [The Dorchester]_{2541-the dorchester} . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ It ca n’t be that difficult , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt soothe [the old boy]_101-clive . ‘ Have [you]_101-clive asked [the surveillance team]_{2542-the surveillance team} ? ’_[101-clive] [He]_101-clive throws [his]_101-clive glasses down on the desk in exasperation , rubbing [his]_101-clive eyes . ‘ Yes , three times now . [They]_641-they must think [I]_101-clive ’m_[101-clive] daft . ’ ‘_[101-clive] [You]_101-clive ’ll be fine , ’ [I]_101-clive assure [him]_101-clive . ‘_[101-clive] When do [they]_641-they start moving in ? ’ ‘_[641-they] Tomorrow . Are [you]_101-clive all set for tonight ? ’ ‘_[101-clive] Ask [me]_2342-matt again this afternoon . [I]_2342-matt ’ll see [you]_101-clive in a bit . ’ [He]_101-clive smiles . ‘_[2342-matt] Okay , love . ’ [He]_101-clive turns [his]_101-clive attention back to [his]_101-clive instruction manual , muttering under [his]_101-clive breath . [I]_2342-matt traipse across the floor and punch in the code for [the penthouse elevator]_{390-the building} . It ’s private and the only one that goes to the top floor . [I]_2342-matt set about transporting and spreading the vases and flowers between the fifteen floors of [the building]_{390-the building} . Arranging these will keep [me]_2342-matt busy for a while . At ten thirty , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] back in [the foyer]_{2536-the foyer} and arranging the last of [my]_2342-matt flowers on the console tables that line [the foyer]_{2536-the foyer} . ‘ [I]_2342-matt have flowers for a [Miss O’Shea]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look up , seeing [a young girl gazing around at [the impressive lobby]_{2536-the foyer}]_{643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby} . ‘ Sorry ? ’_{[643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby]} [She]_{643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby} points to [her]_{643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby} clipboard . ‘ [I]_{643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby} have a delivery for [Miss O’Shea]_832-ava . ’_{[643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby]} [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes . Do n’t tell [me]_2342-matt [they]_644-they ’ve duplicated an order of over four hundred Italian red roses . That really would take incompetence to a whole new level . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ve already taken delivery of the flowers . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say tiredly , walking towards [her]_{643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby} . [I]_2342-matt notice [the van]_{600-the van} outside , but it ’s not the florist [I]_2342-matt ordered through . ‘ Have [you]_832-ava ? ’_{[643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby]} [She]_{643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby} looks a bit panicky as [she]_{643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby} flicks through the papers on [her]_{643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby} clipboard . ‘ What have [you]_832-ava got ? ’_{[643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby]} [I]_2342-matt ask . ‘ A bouquet of calla lilies for [Miss]_832-ava … ’_{[643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby]} [She]_{643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby} looks at [her]_{643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby} clipboard again . ‘ [Miss Ava O’Shea]_832-ava . ’_{[643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby]} ‘ [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] [Ava O’Shea]_832-ava . ’ ‘_[832-ava] Cool , [I]_2342-matt ’ll be two seconds . ’ [She]_{643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby} runs off , returning swiftly . ‘_[2342-matt] [This place]_310-whoever is like [Fort Knox]_{22-fort knox} ! ’ [she]_{643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby} exclaims . [She]_{643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby} hands [me]_2342-matt the biggest spray of calla lilies [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever seen – stunning , white , clean flowers surrounded by stacks of deep green foliage . Understated elegance . [My]_2342-matt stomach does a few cartwheels as [I]_2342-matt sign [the delivery girl]_{2544-the delivery girl} ’s paperwork and take the flowers from [her]_{2544-the delivery girl} , finding the card among [the forest of green]_{2545-the forest of green} . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] so sorry . Forgive [me]_2342-matt , please . [X]_102-x Is [he]_102-x ? [He]_102-x already apologised for [his]_102-x inappropriate behavior and look where that got [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt start to wonder how [he]_102-x ’d know [I]_2342-matt ’m here , but then [I]_101-clive remember [him]_102-x picking out [Lusso]_66-lusso in [my]_101-clive portfolio . It would n’t take a lot of effort to find out the launch date and figure [I]_101-clive would be [here]_314-here . [My]_101-clive contentment of yesterday evening , after [Jesse]_327-jesse left [the house]_{308-the place} , is slowly dissipating . [He]_102-x ’s never going to give up , is [he]_102-x ? Well , [he]_102-x can knock [himself]_102-x out . [I]_101-clive smile to [myself]_101-clive . Knock [himself]_102-x out ? Where did that … [I]_101-clive flatten that thought immediately . [I]_101-clive place the flowers on the concierge desk . ‘_[101-clive] Here , [Clive]_101-clive . Let ’s pretty up all this black marble . ’ [He]_102-x looks up briefly before returning to scratching [his]_102-x head , looking overwhelmed . [I]_2342-matt leave [him]_102-x to it , getting on with [my]_2342-matt walk through to ensure everything is in place and ready . [Victoria]_54-victoria turns up at five thirty , looking [her]_647-her usual immaculate self – all blonde hair , blue eyes and overdone . ‘_[2342-matt] Sorry [I]_2342-matt ’m late . [The traffic]_{2548-the traffic} ’s a nightmare and there ’s nowhere to [park]_2549-park . ’_[647-her] [She]_647-her gazes around . ‘ [They]_648-guests ’re_[647-her] all reserved for [guests]_648-guests . What can [I]_2342-matt do , [I]_2342-matt ’m so excited ! ’_[647-her] [she]_647-her sings at [me]_2342-matt , while stroking the walls of [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} . ‘ [I]_647-her ’m_[647-her] all done . [I]_2342-matt just need [you]_650-you to do a walk through to make sure there ’s nothing that [I]_2342-matt ’ve missed . ’ [I]_2342-matt lead [her]_647-her into the main space . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh [my]_2342-matt God , [Ava]_832-ava , it looks amazing ! ’ ‘_[832-ava] It ’s great , is n’t it ? [I]_2342-matt ’ve never had such a colossal budget . It was fun spending so much of [someone else]_{2416-someone else} ’s money . ’ [We]_2550-we giggle together . ‘_{[2416-someone else]} Have [you]_650-you seen [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve not seen it complete . [I]_2342-matt bet it ’s incredible . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] It is , go and take a look . [I]_2342-matt ’m going to get [myself]_2342-matt ready in [the spa]_{2551-the spa} . [I]_2342-matt ’ve done everything in [the other apartments]_{2552-the other apartments} so concentrate up here . This is where the action will be . Make sure all the cushions are plumped and in place . [I]_2342-matt want the peppers on the chopping boards shiny . Use Pledge ! [The mini Dyson]_{23-the dyson} is here . [Hoover]_103-hoover up any stray bits on the bedroom carpets , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hand [her]_832-ava the fully charged , hand held hoover . ‘ Just use [your]_2342-matt initiative . If there ’s anything [you]_2342-matt ’re_[832-ava] not sure of , make a note . Okay ? ’ [She]_832-ava grabs the hoover from [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt love these things . ’ [she]_832-ava revs [the Dyson]_{23-the dyson} , posing like a cowboy in a standoff . ‘_[2342-matt] How old are [you]_2342-matt ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask on an eye roll . [She]_832-ava screws [her]_832-ava face up , grins and sets off to follow through on [my]_2342-matt instructions . An hour later , after utilising all of [[Lusso]_66-lusso ’s fancy spa facilities]_{2553-lusso ’s fancy spa facilities} , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] ready . [My]_2342-matt dress is creaseless and [my]_2342-matt hair is behaving . [I]_2342-matt take a little wander around . This will be [my]_2342-matt last time here , and it will soon be crowded with [business people and high society]_{653-business people and high society} , so [I]_2342-matt make the most of [my]_2342-matt last opportunity to savour the sheer magnificence of [the place]_{308-the place} . It ’s mind - blowing . [I]_2342-matt still ca n’t believe this is [my]_2342-matt work . [I]_2342-matt smile to [myself]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt stand in the colossal open space on the first floor . Bi - folding doors lead to [an L shaped terrace]_{655-an l shaped terrace} , with limestone paving , [a decked area]_{656-a decked area} , sun loungers and a huge Jacuzzi . There ’s [a study , dining room]_{657-a study , dining room} , [a huge archway leading into [a ridiculously large kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , and a back - lit onyx staircase that rises to [the four en - suite bedrooms]_{660-the four en - suite bedrooms} and [a massive master suite]_{661-a massive master suite}]_{658-a huge archway leading into a ridiculously large kitchen , and a back - lit onyx staircase that rises to the four en - suite bedrooms and a massive master suite} . [The spa , fitness centre and swimming pool]_{662-the spa , fitness centre and swimming pool} , on the ground floor of [the building]_{2332-the penthouse} , are exclusive to [the residents of [Lusso]_66-lusso]_{664-the residents of lusso} , but [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} boasts [[its]_{2332-the penthouse} own gym]_{665-its own gym} . It ’s stunning . [Whoever]_310-whoever ’s brought [this place]_310-whoever definitely likes the finer things in life and for a cool ten million , [they]_666-they ’ve got it . [I]_2342-matt make [my]_2342-matt way back to [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} and find [Victoria]_54-victoria , still armed with [the Dyson]_{23-the dyson} . ‘ All done , ’_{[54-victoria]} [she]_54-victoria declares as [she]_54-victoria hoovers up a stray crumb on the marble worktop . ‘ Well , let ’s drink . ’_{[54-victoria]} [I]_2342-matt smirk and pick up two glasses of champagne , handing one to [Victoria]_54-victoria . ‘ Here ’s to [you]_54-victoria , [Ava]_832-ava . Stylish in body and in mind , ’_{[54-victoria]} [She]_54-victoria giggles , raising [her]_54-victoria glass in a toast . [We]_667-we both swig and sigh . ‘ Wow ! This is good . ’_{[54-victoria]} [She]_54-victoria looks at the bottle . ‘ [Ca’Del Bosco]_{105-ca’del bosco} , [Cuvée Annamaria Clementi]_{106-cuvée annamaria clementi} , 1993 . It ’s Italian , of course . ’_{[54-victoria]} [I]_2342-matt raise [my]_2342-matt brow and [Victoria]_54-victoria giggles again . [I]_2342-matt hear chatter coming from [the entrance hall]_{356-the entrance hall} , so [I]_2342-matt wander out of [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , finding [Tom]_60-tom gawping like a goldfish and [Patrick]_327-jesse smiling proudly . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , this is some serious special , [darling]_832-ava ! ’_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom runs at [me]_2342-matt , throwing [his]_60-tom arms around [my]_2342-matt body . [He]_60-tom pulls back , looking [me]_2342-matt up and down . ‘ Love the dress . Very tight . ’_[60-tom] [I]_2342-matt wish [I]_2342-matt could say the same for [Tom]_60-tom , who takes colour clash to extreme levels . [I]_2342-matt squint at [his]_60-tom bright blue shirt and red tie combo . ‘ Put [the girl]_832-ava down , [Tom]_60-tom . [You]_2342-matt ’ll crease [her]_832-ava , ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse grumbles , gently shoving [him]_327-jesse aside and leaning down to peck [me]_2342-matt on the cheek . ‘ [I]_670-flower ’m_[670-flower] very proud of [you]_2342-matt , [flower]_670-flower . [You]_2342-matt ’ve done a marvelous job , and between [me]_2342-matt and [you]_2342-matt – ’ [He]_327-jesse leans into [my]_{2330-the developer} ear and whispers . ‘_{[2330-the developer]} [The developer]_{2330-the developer} has hinted [they]_672-they want [you]_2342-matt on board for [the next project in [Holland Park]_{24-holland park}]_{673-the next project in holland park} . ’ [He]_327-jesse winks at [me]_{2330-the developer} , [his]_327-jesse wrinkled face wrinkling further . ‘_{[2330-the developer]} Now , where ’s that champagne ? ’ ‘_{[2330-the developer]} This way , ’ [I]_{2330-the developer} lead [them]_672-they into [the huge kitchen]_{308-the place} , hearing more cooing from [Tom]_60-tom . [The place]_{308-the place} really is that special . ‘_{[2330-the developer]} Cheers ! ’ [I]_{2330-the developer} chant , after handing them all a glass of champagne . ‘_{[2330-the developer]} Cheers ! ’ [They]_672-they all raise [their]_672-they glasses . [I]_{2330-the developer} spend a few hours being introduced to high society and explaining [my]_{2330-the developer} inspiration behind the design . Journalists from architecture and interior magazines swan around taking photographs and generally poking about . Much to [my]_{2330-the developer} displeasure , [they]_672-they hustle [me]_{2330-the developer} onto velvet chaise lounge for a shot . [Patrick]_327-jesse drags [me]_{2330-the developer} from pillar to post , proclaiming [his]_327-jesse pride and insisting , to [anyone that will listen]_{2555-anyone that will listen} , that [I]_{2330-the developer} ’ve single handedly put [Rococo Union]_{8-rococo union} on the designers map . [I]_{2330-the developer} blush profusely , repeatedly playing down [his]_327-jesse declarations . [I]_{2330-the developer} ’m_{[2330-the developer]} thankful when [Kate]_2557-kate shows up . [I]_2342-matt usher [her]_2557-kate into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , thrusting a glass of champagne in [her]_2557-kate hand and take another for [myself]_2342-matt . ‘ Bit posh , eh ? ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate muses , gazing around [the plush kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . ‘ It makes [my]_2557-kate place look like a cluttered mess . ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt laugh at the referral to [[her]_2557-kate cute , homely town house that looks like [Cath Kidston]_{107-cath kidston}]_{675-her cute , homely town house that looks like cath kidston} has vomited , sneezed and coughed all over it . ‘ [You]_{107-cath kidston} mean impressive , [I]_{107-cath kidston} ’m_{[107-cath kidston]} sure . ’ ‘_{[107-cath kidston]} Yes , that too . [I]_2342-matt could n’t live here though . ’ [she]_2557-kate says with no shame at all . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not offended . While [I]_2342-matt ’m proud of the finished result , the sheer vastness of the place intimidates [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [Me]_2342-matt either . ’ [I]_2342-matt concur . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt saw [Matt]_2342-matt earlier . ’ [She]_2557-kate downs [her]_2557-kate champagne , immediately scooping up another from a tray as [a waiter]_{2556-a waiter} passes . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , [I]_2342-matt bet that was nice for [you]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt tease , imagining [Kate]_2557-kate hissing and spitting like a cat at poor [Matt]_2342-matt . It ’s no less than [he]_2342-matt deserves . ‘_[2342-matt] No , it was n’t . The part where [he]_2342-matt told [me]_2342-matt that [you]_2342-matt were going out for dinner with [him]_2342-matt was particularly unpleasant . ’ [She]_2557-kate purses [her]_2557-kate lips at [me]_832-ava . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , what are [you]_832-ava thinking ? [I]_2342-matt ’m here to threaten [you]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Oh , and there was [me]_2342-matt thinking [you]_832-ava ’d come to support [[your]_832-ava friend]_2557-kate in [her]_832-ava working triumph . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt raise [my]_2342-matt eyebrows . ‘ [Pah]_108-pah ! [Your]_108-pah working life is not [an area in which [you]_108-pah need support]_{2558-an area in which you need support} . On the other hand , [your]_108-pah personal life is very interesting lately . ’_[832-ava] [She]_832-ava jiggles [her]_832-ava eyebrows up and down suggestively . [I]_2342-matt know what [she]_832-ava ’s getting at , and [she]_832-ava ’s not heard the half of it . [Damn Matt]_2342-matt as well . [We]_676-we ’re not even together anymore and [he]_2342-matt still ca n’t resist winding [her]_832-ava up . [I]_677-you feign a hurt face . ‘_[677-you] [You]_677-you need n’t worry . [I]_2342-matt assure [you]_677-you , [I]_2342-matt ’m not going back to that . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] enjoying being [man]_678-man free , and that is n’t going to change anytime soon . Anyway , for the record , [Matt]_2342-matt ’s winding [you]_677-you up . ’ [I]_2342-matt sip [my]_2342-matt champagne . ‘_[2342-matt] Not even for tall , handsome , slightly older blondes ? ’ [She]_2557-kate grins . [I]_2342-matt narrow [my]_2342-matt eyes on [her]_2557-kate . ‘_[2342-matt] Not even then . ’ [I]_2342-matt confirm . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , do n’t be such a bore . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Excuse [me]_2342-matt ? ’ This time , [my]_2342-matt hurt expression is n’t feigned . Boring ? [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not boring . [Kate]_2557-kate ’s Wild ! [I]_2342-matt look at [her]_2557-kate in disbelief , genuinely hurt by [her]_2557-kate harsh remark . [I]_2342-matt wait for [her]_2557-kate to back track , but [she]_2557-kate does n’t . Instead , [she]_2557-kate ’s looking over [my]_2342-matt shoulder with the biggest smirk on [her]_2557-kate face . Impatient and quite pissed off with [her]_2557-kate , [I]_2342-matt swing around to find out what ’s caught [her]_2557-kate amused attention . Oh no ! ‘ [He]_679-he ’s like a bad penny , is n’t [he]_679-he ? ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate remarks coolly . Chapter 8 Oh , [she]_2557-kate has no idea . [I]_2342-matt ’ve not even filled [her]_2557-kate in on any of the developments since [she]_2557-kate met [him]_679-he at lunch . And here [he]_679-he is again , stood chatting with [the acting estate agent]_{680-the acting estate agent} , wearing a navy suit and pale blue shirt , one hand in [his]_679-he pocket and the other holding a file . [He]_679-he looks , as always , like [a fucking God]_{681-a fucking god} . And as if [he]_679-he can sense [me]_2342-matt staring , [he]_679-he looks up and [our]_682-our eyes meet . ‘ Shit ! ’_[679-he] [I]_2342-matt curse , turning back to [Kate]_2557-kate . [She]_2557-kate drags [her]_2557-kate gaze from [Ward]_327-jesse and onto [me]_2342-matt , [her]_2557-kate eyes dancing with delight . ‘ [You]_2557-kate know , [I]_2557-kate was going to go [home]_281-home and cry into [my]_2557-kate [Haagen - Dazs]_{25-haagen - dazs} , [Bridgette Jones]_{109-bridgette jones} style , but [I]_2557-kate think [I]_2557-kate ’ll just hang around for a bit . [You]_2557-kate mind ? ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate sips [her]_2557-kate drink through [her]_2557-kate grin , while [I]_2342-matt snarl at [her]_2557-kate . ‘ This is not the behavior of [someone]_587-someone , supposedly , unmoved by [a certain someone]_{2561-a certain someone} , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate teases . ‘ [I]_2342-matt went to [The Manor]_2342-matt on Tuesday and nearly slept with [him]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blurt . ‘ What ! ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate splutters , grabbing a napkin to mop up the trail of champagne that ’s dripping down [her]_2557-kate chin . ‘ [He]_2342-matt apologised for the text [he]_2342-matt sent . [I]_2557-kate went back to [The Manor]_2342-matt and [he]_2342-matt had [the big guy]_327-jesse lock [me]_2557-kate in [a room]_{2564-a room} . [He]_2342-matt was waiting for [me]_2557-kate half naked ! ’_[2557-kate] ‘ Get out ! Oh [[my]_2557-kate God]_2383-god . Who ’s [the big guy]_327-jesse ? ’_[2557-kate] ‘ Well , [he]_2342-matt ’s not [a butler]_{2566-a butler} . [I]_2557-kate ’ve no idea what role [he]_2342-matt plays . [Trapping women for [Ward]_327-jesse]_{2567-trapping women for ward} , maybe . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ Why have n’t [you]_2568-you told [me]_2557-kate this ? ’_[2557-kate] ‘ It was a disaster . [I]_2557-kate ran out when [I]_2557-kate heard [[his]_2342-matt girlfriend]_{2455-his girlfriend} calling [him]_2342-matt . [Ward]_327-jesse screwed and turned up at [the house]_{308-the place} last night making demands . ’_[2557-kate] The urgency to bring [Kate]_2557-kate up to speed has [me]_2342-matt spitting out the basic facts in a rush . ‘ Fuck ! What sort of demands ? ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate ’s shocked . [She]_2557-kate should be . It ’s shocking . ‘ [I]_2557-kate do n’t know . [The man]_2342-matt ’s [an arrogant arse]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt asked [me]_2557-kate how loud [I]_2557-kate ’d scream when [he]_2342-matt fucks [me]_2557-kate . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate spits more champagne . ‘ [He]_2342-matt what ? Fuck , [Ava]_832-ava , [he]_2342-matt ’s coming over , [he]_2342-matt ’s coming over ! ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate shifts on the spot , [her]_2557-kate eyes still skipping with amusement . Why is [he]_{683-the master of light} [here]_314-here ? [I]_2342-matt start planning [my]_2342-matt escape , but before [my]_2342-matt brain can even instruct [my]_2342-matt legs to move , [I]_2342-matt can feel [him]_{683-the master of light} stood behind [me]_2342-matt ; [I]_2342-matt can smell [him]_{683-the master of light} . ‘ Nice to see [you]_{683-the master of light} again , [Kate]_2557-kate . ’_{[683-the master of light]} [he]_{683-the master of light} drawls . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_{[683-the master of light]} [I]_2342-matt remain with [my]_2342-matt back to [him]_{683-the master of light} , knowing all too well that if [I]_2342-matt turn to acknowledge [him]_{683-the master of light} , [I]_2342-matt ’ll be hauled into the hazardous place that is [[Jesse Ward]_327-jesse ’s realm]_327-jesse – a place where [I]_2342-matt struggle to maintain any rational thinking . [I]_2342-matt drained [my]_2342-matt reserve tank of strength last night , and [I]_2342-matt ’ve not had a chance to replenish it yet . This is not good news . [He]_{683-the master of light} said [I]_2342-matt would n’t have to see [him]_{683-the master of light} again . If [I]_2342-matt told [him]_{683-the master of light} what [he]_{683-the master of light} did n’t want to hear , then [I]_2342-matt would never have to see [him]_{683-the master of light} again . [I]_2342-matt met the terms of [his]_{683-the master of light} demand , so why is [he]_{683-the master of light} not keeping to [his]_{683-the master of light} end of the bargain ? [Kate]_2557-kate ’s eyes are darting between [us]_685-us , waiting for [one of [us]_685-us]_{686-one of us} to say something . [I]_2342-matt certainly wo n’t be . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] [She]_2557-kate nods at [him]_{683-the master of light} . ‘ Excuse [me]_2557-kate . [I]_2557-kate need to powder [my]_2557-kate nose . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate places [her]_2557-kate empty on the worktop and beats feet . [I]_2342-matt mentally curse [her]_2557-kate arse to Hell . [He]_{683-the master of light} circles around [me]_2342-matt so [he]_{683-the master of light} ’s stood before [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_2342-matt look stunning . ’_{[683-the master of light]} [he]_{683-the master of light} murmurs . ‘ [You]_2342-matt said [I]_2342-matt would n’t have to see [you]_2342-matt again . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt challenge [him]_{683-the master of light} , ignoring [his]_{683-the master of light} compliment . ‘ [I]_2342-matt did n’t know [you]_2342-matt would be here . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look at [him]_{683-the master of light} tiredly . ‘ [You]_2342-matt sent [me]_2342-matt flowers . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Oh , so [I]_{683-the master of light} did . ’_{[683-the master of light]} A smile tickles the edge of [his]_{683-the master of light} lips . [I]_2342-matt do n’t have time for [his]_{683-the master of light} games . [He]_{683-the master of light} ’s really met [his]_{683-the master of light} match in [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Please , excuse [me]_{683-the master of light} . ’_{[683-the master of light]} [I]_2342-matt go to side step [him]_{683-the master of light} , but [he]_{683-the master of light} moves with [me]_2342-matt , effectively blocking [my]_2342-matt path . ‘ [I]_{683-the master of light} was hoping for a tour . ’_{[683-the master of light]} ‘ [I]_{683-the master of light} ’ll get [Victoria]_54-victoria . [She]_54-victoria ’ll be happy to show [you]_54-victoria around . ’_{[683-the master of light]} ‘ [I]_{683-the master of light} would prefer [you]_54-victoria . ’_{[683-the master of light]} ‘ [You]_54-victoria do n’t get a fuck with a tour . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt snap . [He]_{683-the master of light} frowns . ‘ Will [you]_54-victoria watch [your]_54-victoria mouth ? ’_{[683-the master of light]} ‘ Sorry , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mutter indignantly . ‘ And put [my]_{683-the master of light} seat back when [you]_54-victoria drive [[my]_{683-the master of light} car]_{2336-my car} . ’_{[683-the master of light]} [He]_{683-the master of light} grin ’s a real boyish grin , and [I]_2342-matt ’m even more furious with [myself]_2342-matt when [my]_2342-matt heart speeds up . [I]_2342-matt must n’t let [him]_{683-the master of light} see the affect [he]_{683-the master of light} has on [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] And leave [my]_2342-matt music alone ! ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry . ’_{[683-the master of light]} [His]_{683-the master of light} eyes flicker with mischievousness . It ’s so bloody sexy . ‘ Are [you]_2342-matt okay ? [You]_2342-matt look a little shaky . ’_{[683-the master of light]} [He]_{683-the master of light} reaches out , softly running [his]_{683-the master of light} finger down [my]_2342-matt bare arm . ‘ Is something affecting [you]_2342-matt ? ’_{[683-the master of light]} [I]_2342-matt jerk away . ‘ Not at all , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt need to get off this line of conversation . ‘ Did [you]_2342-matt want a tour ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_{683-the master of light} would love a tour . ’_{[683-the master of light]} [He]_{683-the master of light} looks pleased with [himself]_{683-the master of light} . On a huff , [I]_2342-matt lead [him]_{683-the master of light} out of [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} and into [the massive living space]_{688-the massive living space} . ‘ Lounge , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt wave [my]_2342-matt hand about in the general space around [us]_689-we . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’ve seen [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say over [my]_2342-matt shoulder as [I]_2342-matt walk through the open space and onto [the terrace]_{690-the terrace} . ‘ View , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt maintain [my]_2342-matt tired tone , hearing [him]_{683-the master of light} laugh lightly behind [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt lead [him]_{683-the master of light} back through [the lounge]_{2332-the penthouse} to [the workout room]_{2332-the penthouse} , not saying a word as [we]_689-we trek through [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} . [Jesse]_327-jesse shakes hands , greeting [various people on [our]_689-we travels]_{692-various people on our travels} , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t pause to allow [him]_{683-the master of light} time to stop and chat . [I]_2342-matt march on in a bid to get this over with as soon as possible . Damn this place for being so big . ‘ Gym , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt state , walking in and abruptly leaving again when [he]_{683-the master of light} enters . [I]_2342-matt head for [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , hearing [him]_{683-the master of light} laugh behind [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt take the back - lit , onyx staircase , proceeding to open and shut doors , one at a time , while declaring what lies beyond . [We]_689-we reach the pièce de résistance , [the master suite]_{694-the master suite} , and [I]_2342-matt wave [my]_2342-matt hand round at [the dressing room and en - suite bathroom]_{695-the dressing room and en - suite bathroom} . [The place]_{308-the place} really does deserve more passion and time than [I]_2342-matt ’m devoting . ‘_[697-you] [You]_697-you ’re [an expert tour guide]_{2572-an expert tour guide} , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_{[683-the master of light]} [he]_{683-the master of light} teases , regarding one of [my]_2342-matt favourite pieces of art . ‘ Care to enlighten [me]_{683-the master of light} on [the artist]_{2573-the artist} ? ’_{[683-the master of light]} ‘ [Guiseppe Cavalli]_{110-guiseppe cavalli} , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt toss the name at [him]_{683-the master of light} , folding [my]_2342-matt arms over [my]_2342-matt chest . ‘ It ’s good . Is there any particular reason why [you]_2574-you chose [this artist]_{2573-the artist} ? ’_{[683-the master of light]} [He]_{683-the master of light} ’s blatantly trying to temp [me]_2342-matt into conversation . [I]_2342-matt stare at [his]_{683-the master of light} broad , suit covered back , [his]_{683-the master of light} hands resting lightly in [his]_{683-the master of light} trouser pockets , [his]_{683-the master of light} lean legs slightly spread . [My]_2342-matt eyes are very pleased , but [my]_2342-matt brain is in a jumbled mess . [I]_2342-matt sigh and decide , wisely or not , to indulge [him]_{683-the master of light} . [Guiseppe Cavalli]_{110-guiseppe cavalli} most definitely deserves [my]_2342-matt time and enthusiasm . [I]_2342-matt drop [my]_2342-matt arms and walk over to join [him]_{683-the master of light} in front of the piece . ‘ [He]_{683-the master of light} was known as [the master of light]_{683-the master of light} , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say , and [he]_{683-the master of light} looks at [me]_2342-matt with genuine interest . ‘ [He]_{683-the master of light} did n’t think that the subject was of any importance . It did n’t matter what [he]_{683-the master of light} photographed . To [him]_{683-the master of light} , the subject was always the light . [He]_{683-the master of light} concentrated on controlling it . See ? ’_{[683-the master of light]} [I]_2342-matt point to the reflections on [the water]_{698-the water} . ‘ [These rowing boats]_{2575-the boats} , as lovely as [they]_{2575-the boats} are , are just [boats]_{2575-the boats} , but see how [he]_{683-the master of light} manipulates the light ? [He]_{683-the master of light} did n’t care for [the boats]_{2575-the boats} . [He]_{683-the master of light} cared for the light surrounding [the boats]_{2575-the boats} . [He]_{683-the master of light} makes inanimate objects interesting , makes [you]_699-you look at the photograph in a different … well , a different light , [I]_2342-matt suppose . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt tilt [my]_2342-matt head and observe the picture . [I]_2342-matt never tire of it . As simple as it seems , the more [you]_699-you look at it , the more [you]_699-you get it . After a few moments silence , [I]_2342-matt rip [my]_2342-matt eyes away from the canvas , finding [Jesse]_327-jesse staring at [me]_2342-matt . [Our]_700-our eyes meet . [He]_327-jesse ’s chewing [his]_327-jesse bottom lip . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt wo n’t be able to say no again if [he]_327-jesse pushes this . [I]_2342-matt ’m all out of willpower . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never felt so desired than when [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] with [him]_327-jesse , and [I]_2342-matt keep trying to fool [myself]_2342-matt that the feeling is unwanted . ‘ Please do n’t . ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt voice is barely audible . ‘ Do n’t what ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_699-you know what . [You]_699-you said [I]_2342-matt would n’t have to see [you]_699-you again . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_327-jesse lied , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse ’s not ashamed . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ca n’t stay away from [you]_699-you , so [you]_699-you do have to see [me]_327-jesse again … and again … and again . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse finishes the last part of [his]_327-jesse declaration slowly and clearly , leaving [no room]_{701-no room} for misunderstanding . [I]_2342-matt gasp , instinctively backing away from [him]_327-jesse . ‘ [You]_699-you persistently fighting this is only making [me]_327-jesse more determined to prove that [you]_699-you want [me]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse starts slowly pursuing [me]_2342-matt , taking slow , cautious steps forward , maintaining [his]_327-jesse deep eye contact as [he]_327-jesse does . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] making it [my]_2342-matt mission objective . [I]_2342-matt ’ll do anything . ’ [I]_2342-matt stop [my]_2342-matt retreat when [I]_2342-matt feel the bed at the back of [my]_2342-matt knees . In two more strides , [he]_327-jesse ’ll be upon [me]_2342-matt , and the thought of imminent contact in enough to snap [me]_2342-matt out of the trance [he]_327-jesse sends [me]_2342-matt into . ‘_[2342-matt] Stop , ’ [I]_2342-matt hold [my]_2342-matt hand up in front of [me]_2342-matt , halting [him]_702-i in [his]_702-i tracks . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_702-i do n’t even know [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_702-i blurt , in a desperate attempt to make [him]_702-i see how crazy this is . ‘_[702-i] [I]_2342-matt know [you]_702-i ’re impossibly beautiful , ’_[702-i] [He]_702-i starts towards [me]_2342-matt again . ‘ [I]_702-i know what [I]_702-i feel , and [I]_702-i know that [you]_702-i ’re_[702-i] feeling it too . ’ [We]_2576-we ’re_[2342-matt] body to body now , and [my]_2342-matt heart is hammering in [my]_2342-matt throat . ‘ So , tell [me]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . What have [I]_2342-matt missed ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt try to control [my]_2342-matt rushed breaths , but with [my]_2342-matt chest heaving and [my]_2342-matt body physically shaking , [I]_2342-matt ’m struggling . [I]_2342-matt drop [my]_2342-matt head , ashamed at the tears gathering in [my]_2342-matt eyes . Why am [I]_2342-matt crying ? Is [he]_2342-matt enjoying reducing [me]_2342-matt to tears ? This is hideous . [He]_2342-matt ’s so desperate to bed [me]_2342-matt , [he]_2342-matt ’s resorting to stalking [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] crying because [I]_2342-matt ’m so weak . [He]_2342-matt makes [me]_2342-matt weak , and [he]_2342-matt has no right to . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_2342-matt hand slide under [my]_2342-matt chin , and the warmth would be welcome , if [I]_2342-matt did n’t think [he]_2342-matt was such an arsehole right now . [He]_2342-matt tugs at [my]_2342-matt jaw to raise [my]_2342-matt head . When [our]_2577-our eyes meet , [he]_2342-matt winces at [my]_2342-matt tears . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt whispers softly , sliding [his]_2342-matt hand around to cup [my]_2342-matt cheek , slowly stroking the rolling tears away with [his]_2342-matt thumb . [His]_2342-matt expression is pure torment . Good . It should be . [I]_2342-matt find [my]_2342-matt voice . ‘ [You]_2342-matt said [you]_2342-matt would leave [me]_2342-matt alone . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look at [him]_2342-matt questioningly as [he]_2342-matt continues to smooth [his]_2342-matt thumb over [my]_2342-matt face . Why is [he]_2342-matt chasing [me]_2342-matt like this ? [He]_2342-matt ’s clearly unhappy in [his]_2342-matt relationship , but it does n’t make this right . ‘ [I]_2342-matt lied , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sorry . [I]_2342-matt told [you]_703-you , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t stay away . ’ ‘_[703-you] [You]_703-you already said that [you]_703-you ’re sorry , but here [you]_703-you are again . Am [I]_2342-matt to expect flowers tomorrow ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t hide [my]_2342-matt sarcasm . [His]_2342-matt thumb pauses and [he]_2342-matt drops [his]_2342-matt head . Now [he]_2342-matt ’s ashamed . But then [his]_2342-matt head lifts , [our]_704-our eyes connect and [his]_2342-matt gaze drops to [my]_2342-matt lips . Oh , no . Please , no . [I]_2342-matt ’ll never be able to stop this . [He]_2342-matt begins searching [my]_2342-matt eyes , looking for any sign that [I]_2342-matt ’m going to block [him]_2342-matt . Am [I]_2342-matt ? [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt should , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t think [I]_2342-matt can . [His]_2342-matt lips part and [they]_2578-they slowly start lowering to [mine]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt hold [my]_2342-matt breath . As [our]_704-our lips brush , only very lightly , [my]_2342-matt body gives way , prompting [my]_2342-matt hands to fly up and bunch [his]_2342-matt jacket in [my]_2342-matt fists . [He]_2342-matt growls [his]_2342-matt approval as [he]_2342-matt moves [his]_2342-matt hands to the base on [my]_2342-matt spine and pushes [my]_2342-matt body closer to [him]_2342-matt , [our]_704-our lips hovering over each other , [our]_704-our breaths mingling . [We]_704-our both shake uncontrollably . ‘_[2342-matt] Have [you]_705-you ever felt like this ? ’ [he]_2342-matt breathes , running [his]_2342-matt lips across [my]_2342-matt cheek to [my]_2342-matt ear . ‘_[2342-matt] Never , ’ [I]_2342-matt answer honestly . [My]_2342-matt short , gasping breath is unrecognisable . [He]_2342-matt grips the lobe of [my]_2342-matt ear between [his]_2342-matt teeth and tugs gently , letting the flesh drag through [his]_2342-matt bite . ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_705-you ready to stop fighting it now ? ’ [he]_2342-matt whispers , tracing down the edge of [my]_2342-matt ear with the tip of [his]_2342-matt tongue , working [his]_2342-matt way back up and brushing [his]_2342-matt lips lightly over the sensitive flesh under [my]_2342-matt ear . [His]_2342-matt hot breath causes a rush of heat to crash between [my]_2342-matt thighs . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t fight this anymore . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh God , ’ [I]_2342-matt breathe , and [his]_2342-matt lips return to [mine]_2342-matt to hush [me]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt takes them gently , and [I]_2342-matt accept it , letting [our]_2579-our tongues roll and lap together at a steady , non - urgent pace . It ’s too good . [My]_2342-matt whole body is on fire , and [I]_2342-matt realise [my]_2342-matt hands are aching from gripping [his]_2342-matt jacket too hard . [I]_2342-matt release them , moving them to the back of [his]_2342-matt neck to stroke the dark blonde hair on [his]_2342-matt nape . [He]_2342-matt moans , releasing [my]_2342-matt mouth . ‘_[2342-matt] Is that a yes ? ’ [He]_2342-matt fixes [me]_2342-matt with [his]_2342-matt sludgy eyes . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] supposed to answer here . ‘ Yes . ’_[327-jesse] Nodding [his]_327-jesse head , only very slightly , [he]_327-jesse kisses [my]_2342-matt nose , [my]_2342-matt cheek , [my]_2342-matt forehead and returns to [my]_2342-matt mouth . ‘ [I]_2342-matt need to have all of [you]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . Say [I]_2342-matt can have all of [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] All of [me]_2342-matt ? What does [he]_327-jesse mean by all of [me]_2342-matt ? Mind ? [Soul]_111-soul ? But [he]_327-jesse does n’t mean that , does [he]_327-jesse ? No , [he]_327-jesse wants all of [my]_2342-matt body . And right now , [my]_2342-matt conscience has completely failed [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt need to get [this man]_327-jesse out of [my]_2342-matt system . [He]_327-jesse needs to get [me]_2342-matt out of [his]_327-jesse system . ‘ Take [me]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt say quietly against [his]_327-jesse lips . ‘ Oh , [I]_2342-matt will . ’_[2342-matt] Keeping [his]_327-jesse lips firmly against [mine]_2342-matt , [he]_327-jesse wraps one arm around [my]_2342-matt waist and splays the other across the back of [my]_2342-matt head . Lifting [me]_2342-matt from [my]_2342-matt feet , [he]_327-jesse deepens [his]_327-jesse kiss and walks [me]_2342-matt across [the room]_{2350-the room} until [my]_2342-matt back is against a wall . [Our]_708-our tongues dance together wildly , [my]_2342-matt hands moving down [his]_327-jesse back . [I]_2342-matt want closer contact . [I]_2342-matt grab the front of [his]_327-jesse jacket and start pushing it off of [his]_327-jesse shoulders , forcing [him]_327-jesse to release [his]_327-jesse hold of [me]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse keeps [our]_708-our lips locked , stepping back slightly to give [me]_2342-matt space to rid [him]_327-jesse of the obstruction to [his]_327-jesse body . [I]_2342-matt toss it on the floor , grab [his]_327-jesse shirt and yank [him]_327-jesse towards [me]_2342-matt , all [my]_2342-matt previous battling of conscious long forgotten . [I]_2342-matt have to have [him]_327-jesse . [Our]_708-our bodies smash together and [he]_327-jesse pushes [me]_2342-matt up the wall , devouring [my]_2342-matt mouth . ‘ Fucking hell , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse pants through strangled breaths . ‘ [You]_832-ava make [me]_327-jesse crazy . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse rolls [his]_327-jesse hips , pushing [his]_327-jesse erection into [me]_2342-matt , milking a small cry from [my]_2342-matt lips . [I]_2342-matt fist [my]_2342-matt hands in [his]_327-jesse hair , moaning in invitation . This is way past stoppable now . [My]_2342-matt body has gone into cruise control , the stop button lost somewhere in [the land of lust]_{709-the land of lust} . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_327-jesse palms rest on the front of [my]_2342-matt thighs , [my]_2342-matt dress bunched in [his]_327-jesse fists and pulled up over [my]_2342-matt waist in one swift tug . [His]_327-jesse hips roll again and [I]_2342-matt whimper . [I]_2342-matt need more . Christ , [I]_2342-matt do n’t know how [I]_2342-matt ’ve resisted this . [He]_327-jesse bites [my]_2342-matt bottom lip and releases [me]_2342-matt , pulling [his]_327-jesse face away and looking [me]_2342-matt straight in the eyes . [He]_327-jesse rolls [his]_327-jesse hips again , grinding hard against [my]_2342-matt core . [My]_2342-matt head falls back on a deep moan , giving [him]_327-jesse open access to [my]_2342-matt throat , which [he]_327-jesse takes full advantage of , licking , sucking and lapping at the hollow . [I]_2342-matt could weep with pleasure . But then [I]_2342-matt hear voices coming from outside of [the room]_{2350-the room} and reality comes crashing down around [me]_2342-matt . What am [I]_2342-matt doing ? [I]_2342-matt ’m in [the master suite of [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse}]_{2332-the penthouse} , with [my]_327-jesse dress around [my]_327-jesse waist and [Jesse]_327-jesse at [my]_327-jesse throat . There are hundreds of people milling about down stairs . [Someone]_587-someone could walk in at any moment . [Someone]_587-someone will walk in at any moment . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , ’ [I]_327-jesse pant , trying to get [his]_327-jesse attention . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , [people]_372-people are coming , [you]_372-people have to stop . ’ [I]_2342-matt wriggle a little , causing [his]_327-jesse erection to hit [me]_2342-matt in just the right spot . [I]_2342-matt bang [my]_2342-matt head against the wall to try and halt the stab of pleasure it causes . [He]_327-jesse groans , long and low . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not letting [you]_372-people go , not now . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [We]_2582-we need to stop . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse growls . Oh , flipping heck . [Anyone]_2475-anyone could walk through that door . ‘ [We]_2582-we ’ll do this later . ’_{[2475-anyone]} [I]_2342-matt try and pacify [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt need to get [him]_327-jesse off of [me]_2342-matt . ‘ That leaves [you]_372-people too much time to change [your]_372-people mind . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse nibbles [my]_2342-matt neck . ‘ [I]_327-jesse wo n’t change [my]_327-jesse mind , ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt grip [his]_327-jesse jaw , pulling [his]_327-jesse face to [mine]_2342-matt so [we]_713-we ’re nose to nose . [I]_2342-matt look [him]_327-jesse squarely in [his]_327-jesse sludgy pools of green . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt will not change [my]_2342-matt mind . ’ [He]_327-jesse scans [my]_2342-matt eyes , looking for the reassurance [he]_327-jesse needs , but [I]_2342-matt could n’t be any more resolute . [I]_2342-matt want this . Yes , [I]_2342-matt might have time to evaluate the situation , but right now , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] certain [I]_2342-matt ’ll see this through . [He]_327-jesse ’s just way too tempting to resist , and [God]_68-god [I]_2342-matt ’ve tried . [He]_327-jesse kisses [me]_2342-matt hard on the lips and pulls away . ‘ Sorry , [I]_327-jesse ca n’t risk it . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse scoops [me]_2342-matt up into [his]_327-jesse arms and stalks towards [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} . ‘ What ? [They]_2583-they ’ll want to see in there too . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse ca n’t be serious ? ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’ll lock the door . No screaming . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse looks at [me]_2342-matt on a small smirk . [I]_2342-matt ’m shocked , but [I]_715-you laugh . ‘_[715-you] [You]_715-you have no shame . ’ ‘_[715-you] No . [My]_2342-matt cock has been aching since last Friday , [I]_2342-matt finally have [you]_715-you in [my]_2342-matt arms and [you]_715-you ’ve seen sense . [I]_2342-matt ’m going nowhere and neither are [you]_715-you . ’_[2342-matt] Chapter 9 [He]_327-jesse kicks the door shut behind [him]_327-jesse , placing [me]_2342-matt between the sinks on the marble vanity unit before returning to lock the door . [My]_2342-matt dress is still bunched around [my]_2342-matt waist , [my]_2342-matt legs and knickers completely exposed . [I]_2342-matt gaze around [the vast room that [I]_2342-matt ’m so familiar with , [my]_716-my eyes falling on the gigantic , cream , marble bath dominating the centre of [the room]_{2350-the room}]_{2350-the room} . [I]_716-my smile , remembering the trauma of having to organise a crane to lift it in through the windows . It was a nightmare , but it does look spectacular . The double , open ended shower on the back wall is made up of a floor to ceiling sheeted glass and beige Travertine tiles , and the vanity unit that [I]_716-my ’ve been placed on is cream , Italian marble , with two sunken sinks and large waterfall taps . A thick , gold framed , intricately carved mirror spans the entire width of the unit , and a chaise lounge sits at an angle in the window . It really is luxury embodied . [I]_716-my hear the lock click into place , snapping [me]_716-my from admiring [my]_716-my work and pulling [my]_716-my eyes to the door , where [Jesse]_327-jesse is watching [me]_716-my closely . As [he]_327-jesse saunters towards [me]_716-my , [he]_327-jesse slowly starts unbuttoning [his]_327-jesse shirt . [I]_716-my watch [him]_327-jesse gain on [me]_716-my , [his]_327-jesse mouth lax , [his]_327-jesse eyes hooded . Anticipation has [my]_716-my stomach churning and [my]_716-my thighs clenching shut . [This man]_327-jesse is absolutely stunning . With [his]_327-jesse final button unfastened , [he]_327-jesse stands before [me]_716-my with [his]_327-jesse shirt draped open . [I]_716-my ca n’t resist reaching up and running [my]_716-my finger down the centre of [his]_327-jesse hard , tanned chest . [He]_327-jesse looks down to follow [my]_716-my trail , placing [his]_327-jesse hands on either side of [my]_716-my hips , nudging [his]_327-jesse way between [my]_716-my thighs . As [he]_327-jesse looks at [me]_716-my , [his]_327-jesse lips tip at the edges and [his]_327-jesse eyes sparkle , the slight creases at the corner softening the usual intensiveness of them . ‘_[716-my] [You]_716-my ca n’t escape now . ’ [he]_327-jesse teases . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Good . ’ [he]_327-jesse mouths , dragging [my]_2342-matt eyes to [his]_327-jesse lovely lips . [I]_2342-matt trail [my]_2342-matt finger back up [his]_327-jesse chest , working [my]_2342-matt way past [his]_327-jesse throat until [my]_2342-matt finger rests on [his]_327-jesse bottom lip . [He]_327-jesse opens [his]_327-jesse mouth , biting [my]_2342-matt finger playfully . [I]_2342-matt smile , continuing upwards and running [my]_2342-matt hand through [his]_327-jesse hair . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt like [your]_716-my dress . ’ [He]_327-jesse drags [his]_327-jesse eyes down [my]_2342-matt front . [I]_2342-matt follow [his]_327-jesse stare to the bunched up material around [my]_2342-matt waist . ‘_[2342-matt] Thank [you]_716-my . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] It ’s a bit restrictive . ’ [He]_327-jesse tugs at a piece of material . ‘_[2342-matt] It is . ’ [I]_2342-matt agree . The anticipation is killing [me]_2342-matt . Rip off the dress ! ‘_[2342-matt] Shall [we]_717-we remove it ? ’ [He]_327-jesse cocks a brow at [me]_717-we , the corners of [his]_327-jesse mouth twitching . [I]_717-we smile . ‘_[717-we] If [you]_716-my like , ’ ‘_[717-we] Or maybe , [we]_717-we leave it on ? ’ [He]_327-jesse breaks into a full on smile as [he]_327-jesse holds [his]_327-jesse hands up . [I]_717-we melt all over the vanity unit . [He]_327-jesse slides [his]_327-jesse hands around [my]_717-we back . ‘_[717-we] But then again , [I]_2342-matt have firsthand knowledge of what ’s under this lovely dress , ’ [He]_327-jesse reaches up , grasping the zipper , breathing into [my]_2342-matt ear as [he]_327-jesse does . ‘_[2342-matt] And it ’s far superior to the dress . ’ [he]_327-jesse whispers , pulling it down slowly , teasingly . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] panting hard and desperate . ‘ [I]_718-he think [we]_2585-we ’ll get rid of it . ’_[718-he] [He]_718-he lifts [me]_2342-matt off of the counter , placing [me]_2342-matt on [my]_2342-matt feet before pulling [my]_2342-matt dress away from [my]_2342-matt body and letting it drop to the floor . [He]_718-he kicks it to the side without taking [his]_718-he eyes off of [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt frown at [him]_718-he . ‘ [I]_2342-matt like that dress . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt could n’t give a toss about the dress . [He]_718-he could have ripped it off and cleaned the windows with it , for all [I]_2342-matt care . ‘ [I]_718-he ’ll buy [you]_718-he a new one . ’_[718-he] [He]_718-he shrugs as [he]_718-he places [me]_2342-matt back on the counter , resuming position between [my]_2342-matt thighs . [He]_718-he presses [his]_718-he body up against [me]_2342-matt and grabs [my]_2342-matt bum , pulling [me]_2342-matt in towards [him]_718-he so [we]_719-we ’re locked tight together . [He]_718-he grinds [his]_718-he hips while staring at [me]_718-he . The throb at [my]_718-he core is bordering on painful , and [I]_718-he ’m_[718-he] at serious risk of falling apart if [he]_718-he continues with that alone . [I]_2342-matt want to tell [him]_718-he to hurry up ; [I]_2342-matt ’m struggling to control [myself]_2342-matt here . Reaching behind [me]_2342-matt , [he]_718-he unclasps [my]_2342-matt bra , pulling the straps down [my]_2342-matt arms and flinging it behind [him]_718-he . [I]_2342-matt lean back on [my]_2342-matt hands , exposing [my]_2342-matt breasts to [him]_718-he . Looking into [my]_2342-matt eyes , [he]_718-he lifts [his]_718-he hand and places it , palm down , under [my]_2342-matt throat . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt can feel [your]_2342-matt heart hammering . ’ [he]_718-he says quietly . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt ’re so affected by [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not going to challenge [him]_718-he on that statement . [He]_718-he ’s right , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not even bothering to try and fight it anymore . [He]_2342-matt glides [his]_2342-matt palm down between [my]_2342-matt breasts until it rests on [my]_2342-matt stomach , as [he]_2342-matt looks at [me]_2342-matt – all smoldering and delicious . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] too fucking beautiful , [lady]_65-ha ’ [he]_2342-matt grinds firmly . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt ’ll keep [you]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt arch [my]_2342-matt back , thrusting [my]_2342-matt chest forward , and [he]_2342-matt smiles before lowering [his]_2342-matt mouth and taking [my]_2342-matt nipple deep , sucking hard . When [he]_2342-matt brings [his]_2342-matt hand up to massage [my]_2342-matt other breast , [I]_2342-matt moan , letting [my]_2342-matt head fall back against the mirror . Oh , good God . [The man]_2342-matt is [a genius]_2342-matt . [His]_2342-matt arousal is as hard as lead , pressing between [my]_2342-matt thighs , causing [me]_2342-matt to roll [my]_2342-matt hips to ease the throb on a long , drawn out moan . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know what to do with [myself]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt want to soak up the pleasure because it ’s so good , but the need to have [him]_2342-matt is getting the better of [me]_2342-matt , the pressure in [my]_2342-matt groin near exploding point . As if reading [my]_2342-matt mind , [he]_2342-matt skates [his]_2342-matt hand up the inside of [my]_2342-matt thigh , finding the edge of [my]_2342-matt knickers . One finger breaches the barrier , lightly brushing the tip of [my]_2342-matt clit . ‘_[2342-matt] Shit ! ’ [I]_65-ha cry , throwing [myself]_65-ha up to grab [his]_2342-matt shoulders , digging [my]_65-ha nails into [his]_2342-matt strained muscles . ‘_[65-ha] Language , [lady]_65-ha . ’ [he]_2342-matt tusks , then slams [his]_2342-matt lips against [mine]_65-ha , plunging two fingers into [me]_65-ha . [My]_65-ha muscles grab onto [him]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt works them in and out . [I]_65-ha might , literally , die of pleasure . [I]_65-ha feel the fast buildup of an impending orgasm , and [I]_65-ha know it ’s going to blow [me]_65-ha apart . Holding onto [his]_2342-matt shoulders for dear life , [I]_65-ha moan into [his]_2342-matt mouth as [he]_2342-matt continues [his]_2342-matt assault on [me]_65-ha . Oh , here it is . ‘_[65-ha] Come . ’ [he]_2342-matt commands , applying more pressure to the top of [my]_65-ha clit . [I]_65-ha fall apart in an explosion of stars , releasing [his]_2342-matt mouth and tossing [my]_65-ha head back in a complete frenzy . [I]_65-ha cry out . [He]_2342-matt grabs [my]_65-ha head , yanking it forward to tackle [my]_65-ha mouth , catching the tail end of [my]_65-ha cries . [I]_65-ha ’m_[65-ha] in pieces . [I]_2342-matt ’m panting , shaking and boneless as [I]_2342-matt disintegrate all over [him]_2342-matt , completely inhibited and unashamed of what [he]_2342-matt does to [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] delirious with pleasure . [His]_2342-matt kiss softens and [his]_2342-matt thrusts slow , easing [me]_2342-matt gradually down as [he]_2342-matt scatters tender kisses all over [my]_2342-matt damp , warm face . Too good , just too , too good . [I]_2342-matt feel [him]_2342-matt brush a stray tendril of hair from [my]_2342-matt face and [I]_2342-matt open [my]_2342-matt eyes , meeting a sludgy green , satisfied stare . [He]_2342-matt plants a soft kiss on [my]_2342-matt lips . [I]_2342-matt sigh . [I]_2342-matt feel like a life ’s time of pent up pressure has been extinguished , just like that . [I]_2342-matt ’m relaxed and sated . ‘_[2342-matt] Better ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks , sliding [his]_2342-matt fingers out of [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Hmmm . ’ [I]_2342-matt hum . [I]_2342-matt have no energy for speech . [His]_2342-matt fingers drag across [my]_2342-matt bottom lip and [he]_2342-matt leans into [me]_2342-matt , watching [me]_2342-matt closely as [he]_2342-matt runs [his]_2342-matt tongue across [my]_2342-matt mouth , licking the remnants of [my]_2342-matt orgasm away . [His]_2342-matt eyes burn straight through [me]_2342-matt as [we]_2586-we gaze at [each other]_{606-each other} in silence . [My]_2342-matt hands , instinctively , reach up to cup [his]_2342-matt face , smoothing down [his]_2342-matt freshly shaven face . [This man]_2342-matt is beautiful , intense and passionate . And [he]_2342-matt could break [my]_2342-matt heart . [He]_2342-matt smiles lightly , turning [his]_2342-matt face to kiss [my]_2342-matt palm before returning [his]_2342-matt eyes to [mine]_2342-matt . Oh [Lord]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] in trouble . [We]_722-we ’re both cruelly snatched from the intensity of the moment when the door handle of [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} is jiggled from the other side . [I]_2342-matt gasp and [Jesse]_327-jesse slaps [his]_327-jesse palm over [my]_2342-matt mouth , looking at [me]_2342-matt in amusement . [He]_327-jesse finds this funny ? ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t hear anything . ’ A strange voice comes through the door , followed by another rattle of the handle . [My]_2342-matt eyes bulge in horror . [He]_327-jesse removes [his]_327-jesse hand , replacing it with [his]_327-jesse lips . ‘_[2342-matt] Shhhhhh . ’ [he]_327-jesse mumbles against [my]_2342-matt mouth . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh God , [I]_2342-matt feel cheap . ’ [I]_723-i whine , leaving [his]_327-jesse lips and dropping [my]_723-i head to [his]_327-jesse shoulder . How am [I]_723-i going to walk out of [this place]_310-whoever without burning bright red and looking as guilty as sin ? ‘_[723-i] [You]_723-i ’re not cheap . Talk crap like that , [I]_2342-matt ’ll be forced to kick [your]_723-i delicious backside all over [[my]_2342-matt bathroom]_{2590-my bathroom} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt snap [my]_2342-matt head up from [his]_2342-matt shoulder , looking at [him]_2342-matt in confusion . ‘ [[Your]_723-i bathroom]_{2590-my bathroom} ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , [[my]_2342-matt bathroom]_{2590-my bathroom} , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt smirks at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt wish [they]_2591-they would stop [strangers]_{2592-strangers} roaming around [[my]_2342-matt home]_{2593-my home} . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt muses . ‘ [You]_2342-matt live [here]_{308-the place} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m puzzled . [He]_2342-matt ca n’t live here . [No one]_{2594-no one} lives here . ‘_[2342-matt] Well , [I]_2342-matt will do as of tomorrow . Tell [me]_2342-matt . Is all this Italian shit worth the outrageously expensive price tag [they]_724-i attached to [this place]_{308-the place} ? ’ [He]_2342-matt looks at [me]_724-i expectantly . Does [he]_2342-matt actually want [me]_724-i to answer that ? ‘_[724-i] Italian shit ? ’ [I]_724-i splutter , completely insulted . [He]_2342-matt laughs , and [I]_724-i think [I]_724-i might slap [him]_2342-matt . Italian shit ? [The man]_2342-matt is [an ignorant arse]_2342-matt . Italian shit ? ‘_[724-i] [You]_726-his should n’t have brought [the place]_{308-the place} if [you]_726-his do n’t like the shit that ’s in it . ’ [I]_724-i fire at [him]_2342-matt , completely outraged . ‘_[724-i] [I]_2342-matt can get rid of the shit . ’ [he]_2342-matt quips . [My]_65-ha eyebrows shoot up in a , [you]_726-his - didn’t - just - say - that expression . [I]_65-ha ’ve spent months breaking [my]_65-ha back sourcing all of this Italian shit and [this unappreciative swine]_{2595-this unappreciative swine} is just going to get rid ? [I]_65-ha ’ve never been so insulted , or pissed off . [I]_65-ha try to wriggle [my]_65-ha hands from under [his]_2342-matt , but [he]_2342-matt tightens [his]_2342-matt grip . [I]_65-ha shoot [him]_2342-matt a scowl . [He]_2342-matt grins . ‘_[65-ha] Unravel [your]_726-his knickers , [lady]_65-ha . [I]_2342-matt would n’t get rid of anything in [this apartment]_{728-this apartment} , ’ [He]_726-his kisses [me]_726-his hard . ‘_[726-his] And [you]_726-his ’re in [this apartment]_{728-this apartment} . ’_[726-his] [He]_726-his ’s taking [my]_2342-matt mouth again , possessively , greedily . [I]_2342-matt wo n’t read into that statement too much . [My]_2342-matt libido has just jumped to attention and [I]_2342-matt ’m happy to comply . [I]_2342-matt attack [him]_726-his with equal force , thrusting [my]_2342-matt tongue into [his]_726-his mouth , circling [his]_726-his with [mine]_2342-matt as [he]_726-his lifts [his]_726-his grip from [my]_2342-matt hands . [They]_726-his impulsively fly to those taut , rippling shoulders that [I]_2342-matt love so much . Wrapping [his]_726-his arm around [my]_2342-matt middle , [he]_726-his releases [my]_2342-matt lips and lifts [me]_2342-matt up from the counter , leaving [me]_2342-matt hovering above the surface as [his]_726-his other hand finds [my]_2342-matt knickers and yanks them down [my]_2342-matt legs . [He]_726-his rests [me]_2342-matt back down , removing [my]_2342-matt shoes and letting [them]_726-his tumble to the tiled floor on a loud clatter . [I]_2342-matt join [him]_726-his in [his]_726-his stripping party , reaching up and pushing [his]_726-his shirt down [his]_726-his broad shoulders , revealing [his]_726-his bare chest in all of its glory . [He]_726-his ’s cut to complete perfection . [I]_2342-matt want to lick every square inch of [him]_726-his . As [I]_2342-matt trace [my]_2342-matt eyes down , [I]_2342-matt recoil slightly at a nasty scar that ’s running across [his]_726-his stomach and rounding onto [his]_726-his left hip . [I]_2342-matt never noticed it before . The light at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} was dim , but that is one hefty scar . It ’s slightly faded but bloody big . How did [he]_726-his get that ? [I]_2342-matt elect to not enquire . It could be a sensitive issue , and [I]_2342-matt do n’t want anything to upset this moment . [I]_2342-matt could just sit here and gawp at [him]_726-his forever , even with the scar that looks so sinister , [he]_726-his ’s still beautiful . [I]_2342-matt scrunch [his]_726-his shirt up between [my]_2342-matt hands and chuck it on top of [my]_2342-matt dress . [He]_726-his raises [his]_726-his eyebrows at [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll buy [you]_729-you a new one . ’ [I]_2342-matt shrug . [He]_726-his smirks and leans forward , bracing [himself]_726-his on the counter and capturing [my]_2342-matt lips – all brooding and careful . [I]_2342-matt reach for [his]_726-his trousers and begin unfastening [his]_726-his belt , whipping it out of [his]_726-his loop holes in one swift pull , instigating a snapping sound to erupt around [us]_2597-us . [He]_726-his pulls back on an arched brow . ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_729-you going to whip [me]_2342-matt ? ’ Huh ? ‘_[729-you] No , ’ [I]_729-you answer uncertainly . Does [he]_726-his like that sort of stuff ? [I]_729-you throw [his]_726-his belt to join the pile on the floor and slide [my]_729-you hand between [his]_726-his tight narrow hips and the waistband of [his]_726-his trousers . [I]_729-you wrench [him]_726-his forward so [we]_2597-us ’re_[729-you] nose to nose . ‘ Of course , if [you]_729-you want [me]_2342-matt to … ’_[2342-matt] Did [I]_2342-matt just say that ? ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll bear that in mind . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says on a half - smile . Obviously , [I]_2342-matt did . What ’s got into [me]_2342-matt ? Keeping [my]_2342-matt eyes firmly on [his]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt start to undo the button on [his]_2342-matt trousers , [my]_2342-matt knuckles brushing over [his]_2342-matt solid erection , causing [him]_2342-matt to jerk . [He]_2342-matt squeezes [his]_2342-matt eyes shut . [I]_2342-matt slowly undo [his]_2342-matt fly , sliding [my]_2342-matt flat hand into [his]_2342-matt boxers , grazing across the mass of dark blonde hair . [He]_2342-matt shudders , looking up to the ceiling . The muscles on [his]_2342-matt chest are rolling and undulating , and [I]_2342-matt ca n’t resist leaning forward and flicking [my]_2342-matt tongue up the centre of [his]_2342-matt chest bone . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [you]_832-ava should know that once [I]_2342-matt ’ve had [you]_832-ava , [you]_832-ava ’re_[2342-matt] [mine]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] too drunk on lust to take any notice of that statement . ‘ Hmmm . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mumble against [his]_2342-matt skin , circling [his]_2342-matt nipple with [my]_2342-matt tongue and withdrawing [my]_2342-matt hand from [his]_2342-matt boxers . [I]_2342-matt grasp the waist band and ease them down over [his]_2342-matt tidy , narrow hips . [His]_2342-matt cock springs free . [My]_2342-matt God , it ’s huge ! The head is swollen , moist and pointing right at [me]_2342-matt . The involuntary gasp that escapes [my]_2342-matt mouth is an indication of [my]_2342-matt shock . Flicking [my]_2342-matt eyes to [his]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt find a small smile tickling the corner of [his]_2342-matt mouth , which is all the mortifying evidence [I]_2342-matt need to tell [me]_2342-matt that [he]_2342-matt ’s picked up on [my]_2342-matt reaction . [He]_2342-matt steps back , kicking [his]_2342-matt shoes and socks off before removing [his]_2342-matt trousers and boxers . [I]_2342-matt ’m instantly drawn to [his]_2342-matt powerfully lean thighs . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] dribbling at the magnificence stood before [me]_2342-matt in all of its naked glory . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help it . Gathering some of [my]_2342-matt shattered confidence , [I]_2342-matt reach forward slowly , and gently circle [my]_2342-matt thumb over [his]_2342-matt tip , watching [him]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt watches [my]_2342-matt hand explore [him]_2342-matt . When [I]_2342-matt tentatively wrap [my]_2342-matt hand around the base , [I]_2342-matt see [him]_2342-matt struggle with the contact . ‘ Shit , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt gasps , resting [his]_2342-matt hands on [my]_2342-matt hips . [I]_2342-matt jerk , and [he]_2342-matt smiles . ‘ [Ticklish]_112-ticklish ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Just there . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt gasp . Oh , it drives [me]_2342-matt mad ! ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll remember that . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says , taking [my]_2342-matt lips and working [my]_2342-matt mouth urgently as [I]_2342-matt begin slow , even strokes of [his]_2342-matt hardness , increasing the pace when [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_2342-matt mouth getting firmer against [mine]_2342-matt . [His]_2342-matt hand disappears between [my]_2342-matt legs , and with one skim of [his]_2342-matt thumb over [my]_2342-matt beating clitoris , [I]_2342-matt ’m suddenly catapulted to [Central Jesse Cloud Nine]_113-jesse . [I]_730-my gasp into [his]_2342-matt mouth . [He]_2342-matt bites [my]_730-my lip . ‘_[730-my] [You]_730-my ready ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks urgently . [I]_730-my nod , because speech has completely evaded [me]_730-my . [He]_2342-matt rips [his]_2342-matt hand from the apex of [my]_730-my thighs and knocks [me]_730-my away from [his]_2342-matt throbbing arousal . In one measured movement , [he]_2342-matt moves [his]_2342-matt hands to [my]_730-my backside , lifts [me]_730-my and impales [me]_730-my onto [his]_2342-matt waiting length . [OUCH]_114-ouch ! Oh [my]_730-my God and fucking hell ! ‘_[730-my] Okay ? ’ [he]_2342-matt pants . ‘_[730-my] Are [you]_730-my okay ? ’ ‘_[730-my] Two seconds . [I]_2342-matt need a few seconds . ’ [I]_2342-matt wrap [my]_2342-matt legs around [him]_2342-matt , crying out at the mixture of pleasure and pain . [I]_2342-matt know [he]_2342-matt ’s not even all of the way in . [Jesus]_72-jesus , but [the man]_2342-matt is enormous . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] swung around and thrust up against the wall , the coldness of the tiles not bothering [me]_2342-matt in the slightest as [I]_2342-matt try to adjust [myself]_2342-matt to [Jesse]_113-jesse ’s hugeness . [He]_2342-matt rests [his]_2342-matt forehead against [mine]_2342-matt , [my]_2342-matt hands slipping over [his]_2342-matt sweat drenched back as [he]_2342-matt holds still for a few moments , giving [me]_2342-matt time to adapt to the intrusion . [He]_2342-matt pants as [he]_2342-matt slowly withdraws from [me]_2342-matt , re - entering on a deliberate , steady thrust . This time [he]_2342-matt ’s in further and the fullness is making [my]_2342-matt head spin . ‘ Can [you]_2598-you take more ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks urgently . More ? How much more is there ? [I]_2342-matt can do this , [I]_2342-matt can do this . [I]_2342-matt repeat the mantra over and over as [I]_2342-matt adjust to [his]_2342-matt size , taking some calming breaths . When [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt ’ve got a handle on it , [I]_2342-matt kiss [him]_2342-matt slowly , arching [my]_2342-matt back and pushing [my]_2342-matt breasts into [his]_2342-matt chest . [I]_2342-matt thrust [myself]_2342-matt forward , deepening the connection . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , tell [me]_2342-matt [you]_832-ava ’re_[2342-matt] ready . ’ [he]_2342-matt breathes . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m ready . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve never been more ready for anything in [my]_2342-matt life . With [my]_2342-matt prompt , [he]_2342-matt extracts [himself]_2342-matt and drives back inside of [me]_2342-matt more forcefully . [I]_2342-matt sigh , tilting [my]_2342-matt hips forward in acceptance as [he]_2342-matt growls in appreciation and repeats [his]_2342-matt swift thrusts , again and again . ‘ [You]_832-ava ’re_[2342-matt] [mine]_2342-matt now , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_2342-matt breathes on a deep , delicious plunge . [My]_832-ava head drops forward to rest on [his]_2342-matt . ‘_[832-ava] All [mine]_2342-matt . ’ In one fast move , [he]_2342-matt pulls back and pounds [home]_281-home . [I]_832-ava scream . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] full to capacity and loving every wonderful bit of it . [I]_2342-matt grip [his]_2342-matt shoulders as [he]_2342-matt increases [his]_2342-matt thrusts , slamming into [me]_2342-matt , hitting [my]_2342-matt womb every time . [I]_2342-matt yelp in pleasure when [he]_2342-matt finds [my]_2342-matt lips , plunging [his]_2342-matt tongue into [my]_2342-matt mouth in a desperate claim as [our]_732-our damp , sweat riddled bodies clash and slide together . [I]_2342-matt ’m about to splitter into a million pieces . Holy shit ! [I]_733-i ’ve never come during penetrative sex ! ‘_[733-i] [You]_733-i ’re going to come ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt gasps against [my]_2342-matt mouth . ‘ Yes ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout , sinking [my]_2342-matt teeth into [his]_2342-matt bottom lip . [He]_2342-matt moans . It ’s animalistic , but [I]_2342-matt ’m losing control here . ‘_[2342-matt] Wait for [me]_2342-matt . ’ [he]_2342-matt demands , pounding harder . [I]_832-ava scream , desperately clenching [my]_832-ava muscles around [him]_2342-matt to try and hold off , but it ’s not working . How long will [he]_2342-matt be ? [I]_832-ava ca n’t hold on . After three more hard strikes , [he]_2342-matt shouts , ‘_[832-ava] Now , [Ava]_832-ava ! ’ And [I]_832-ava burst at [his]_2342-matt command , throwing [my]_832-ava head back and screaming [his]_2342-matt name as [I]_832-ava feel hot liquid shoot into [me]_832-ava . [He]_2342-matt grips [me]_832-ava hard , pulling [me]_832-ava as close as [he]_2342-matt can get [me]_832-ava and holding [me]_832-ava there , burying [his]_2342-matt face in [my]_832-ava exposed throat . ‘_[832-ava] Oh , fucccckkkkk ! ’ [he]_2342-matt groans against [my]_832-ava neck . The long , satisfied moan falling from [my]_832-ava own lips is symbolic of how [I]_832-ava feel right now . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] totally satisfied . [He]_734-he slows [his]_734-he thrusts to ease [us]_735-us both down from [our]_735-us incredible highs , and [I]_2342-matt hold [him]_734-he tight , [my]_2342-matt inner muscles contracting around [him]_734-he as [he]_734-he lazily circles [his]_734-he hips . ‘ Look at [me]_734-he . ’_[734-he] [he]_734-he orders softly . [I]_2342-matt pull [my]_2342-matt head down to look at [him]_734-he , sighing happily as [he]_734-he searches [my]_2342-matt eyes . [He]_734-he rolls [his]_734-he hips again and plants a kiss on the end of [my]_2342-matt nose . ‘ Beautiful . ’_[734-he] [he]_734-he says simply , cupping the back of [my]_2342-matt head and pushing [me]_2342-matt towards [him]_734-he so [my]_2342-matt cheek rests against [his]_734-he shoulder . [I]_2342-matt could stay like this forever . [My]_2342-matt back peels away from the cold wall behind [me]_2342-matt and [I]_2342-matt ’m carried to the vanity unit with [Jesse]_113-jesse still buried deep inside [me]_2342-matt , pulsating and twitching . [He]_734-he slips out and settles [me]_2342-matt on the counter , clasping [his]_734-he palms on either side of [my]_2342-matt face and bending to kiss [me]_2342-matt , [his]_734-he lips lingering on [mine]_2342-matt in a total display of affection . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt did n’t hurt [you]_734-he , did [I]_2342-matt ? ’ [he]_734-he asks , [his]_734-he frown line appearing on [his]_734-he forehead . [I]_2342-matt dissolve on the spot . [I]_2342-matt want to smother [him]_734-he in [my]_2342-matt arms , so [I]_2342-matt do . [I]_2342-matt wrap [my]_2342-matt whole body around [him]_734-he , arms and legs , and cling on to [him]_734-he like [my]_2342-matt life depends on it . [He]_734-he buries [his]_734-he face in [my]_2342-matt neck and strokes [my]_2342-matt back . It ’s the most calming sensation [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever felt . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t even muster up the energy to feel guilty . [Sarah]_54-victoria who ? [We]_2600-we remain entwined , a bundle of arms and legs , breathing heavy and holding each other for an age . [I]_2342-matt want to stay exactly where [I]_2342-matt am . [We]_2600-we could – it is [[his]_734-he bathroom]_{2601-his bathroom} . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]_734-he ’s brought [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} . After far too short a time , [he]_734-he leans back , running the back of [his]_734-he knuckles down the side of [my]_2342-matt face . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt did n’t use a condom , ’ [he]_734-he says with genuine regret in [his]_734-he eyes . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry , [I]_2342-matt got so carried away . [You]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] on birth control , right ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Yes , but the pill does n’t protect [me]_2342-matt from [STD]_115-std ’s . ’ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] such a numb - nut . [This man]_2342-matt is a God with some serious moves . [I]_2342-matt dread to think of how [many women [he]_2342-matt ’s slept with]_{737-many women he ’s slept with} . [He]_2342-matt smiles at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt ’ve always used a condom , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt leans forward , kissing [my]_2342-matt forehead . ‘ Except with [you]_738-i , ’_[2342-matt] Huh ? ‘ Why ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt pulls away and has a little chew on [his]_2342-matt bottom lip . ‘ [I]_738-i do n’t see straight when [I]_738-i ’m_[738-i] near [you]_738-i . ’ [He]_2342-matt puts [his]_2342-matt boxers and trousers on , and then reaches over [me]_738-i to grab a washcloth from the shelf . [I]_738-i ’m_[738-i] about to protest , but then [I]_2342-matt remember … it ’s [his]_2342-matt . Everything in here is [his]_2342-matt , except for [me]_2342-matt . Well , not according to [him]_2342-matt , but that ’s just an impending orgasm talking . The throws of passion can make [you]_739-you say some funny things . [He]_2342-matt does n’t see straight ? That makes [two of [us]_741-us]_{740-two of us} . [He]_2342-matt runs the tap , passing the cloth under it and returns to stand before [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt feel exposed , sat here completely naked . This is n’t equal ground . [I]_2342-matt close [my]_2342-matt legs to conceal [myself]_2342-matt , suddenly uncomfortable with [my]_2342-matt state of undress , but [he]_2342-matt looks at [me]_2342-matt , a perplexed look flitting across [his]_2342-matt handsome face as [he]_2342-matt pouts , reaches between [my]_2342-matt legs and spreads them gently . ‘ Better . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt mutters , lifting [my]_2342-matt arms from [my]_2342-matt lap and placing them on [his]_2342-matt shoulders . [He]_2342-matt rests the warm , damp cloth on the inside of [my]_2342-matt thigh and begins sweeping it up and down , cleaning the remnants of [him]_2342-matt away from [me]_2342-matt . It ’s a tender act and extremely intimate . [I]_2342-matt watch [his]_2342-matt face in fascination , noticing the slight crease across [his]_2342-matt forehead as [he]_2342-matt concentrates with [his]_2342-matt procedure of cleaning [me]_2342-matt up . [He]_2342-matt gazes up at [me]_2342-matt , [his]_2342-matt green eyes soft and twinkling . ‘ [I]_2342-matt want to toss [you]_2342-matt in that shower and worship every inch of [you]_2342-matt , but this will have to do . For now , anyway . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt leans in and kisses [me]_2342-matt , lingering briefly . [I]_2342-matt do n’t think [I]_2342-matt could ever tire of those simple , affectionate kisses . [His]_2342-matt lips are so soft , [his]_2342-matt scent divine . ‘ Come on , [lady]_2342-matt . Let ’s get [you]_2342-matt dressed . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt lifts [me]_2342-matt from the counter and helps [me]_2342-matt into [my]_2342-matt underwear and dress before zipping [me]_2342-matt up . [My]_2342-matt entire body convulses when [he]_2342-matt rests [his]_2342-matt lips on the nape of [my]_2342-matt neck , [his]_2342-matt warm , soft mouth having the hairs on [my]_2342-matt neck rising . [I]_2342-matt do n’t think [he]_2342-matt ’s out of [my]_2342-matt system – not at all . This is bad news . [I]_2342-matt pick [his]_2342-matt pale blue shirt up from floor and shake it out before handing it to [him]_2342-matt . ‘ There really was n’t any need to screw it up , was there ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt flicks [me]_2342-matt a grin as [he]_2342-matt pulls it on , fastening the buttons and tucking it into [his]_2342-matt navy trousers . ‘ [Your]_2342-matt jacket will cov … ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt abruptly remember tossing that on the floor in [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} . ‘ Oh , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt whisper , all wide eyed . ‘ Yes . Oh , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt arches a brow as [he]_2342-matt snaps [his]_2342-matt belt , making [me]_2342-matt flinch and [him]_2342-matt grin . ‘ Okay , [you]_2342-matt ready to face the music , [lady]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt holds [his]_2342-matt hand out to [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt take it without a thought . [The man]_2342-matt is a magnet . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’d say quite loud , would n’t [you]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt gape at [him]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt gives [me]_2342-matt a full on dazzling smile . [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head , quickly glancing in the mirror . Oh , [I]_2342-matt ’m flushed . [My]_2342-matt lips are distended and pink , [my]_2342-matt hair is still up but with random strands curling down all over the place , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] creased . [I]_2342-matt need five minutes to sort [myself]_2342-matt out . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] perfect . ’ [he]_2342-matt reassures [me]_2342-matt , as if sensing the panic rising in [me]_2342-matt . Perfect ? Perfect would n’t be a word [I]_2342-matt would use . [I]_2342-matt look thoroughly fucked ! [He]_2342-matt tugs [me]_2342-matt to the door , unlocks it and strides out , devoid of wariness , while [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] more cautious . What if [[our]_743-we visitors]_{744-our visitors} where still hanging around ? [I]_2342-matt see [his]_2342-matt jacket still sprawled on the floor , and [he]_2342-matt scoops it up as [we]_743-we pass . When [we]_743-we hit the curving staircase , [I]_2342-matt suddenly register [my]_2342-matt hand still in [his]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt try to ease it from [his]_2342-matt grasp , but [he]_2342-matt squeezes it tighter , flashing [me]_2342-matt a scowl . Shit ! [He]_2342-matt has to let go . [[My]_2342-matt boss]_{745-my boss} and [colleagues]_{746-colleagues} are down here . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t go prancing through [them]_{746-colleagues} holding hands with [this strange man]_2342-matt . Well , [he]_2342-matt ’s not very strange to [me]_2342-matt now , but that ’s beside the point . [I]_2342-matt attempt to free [my]_2342-matt hand again , but [he]_2342-matt refuses to let it go . ‘ [Jesse]_113-jesse , let go of [my]_2342-matt hand . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt shoots back , short and firm , and without even looking at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt stop , abruptly , half way down [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} and scan [the room below]_{748-the room below} . [No one]_{2594-no one} is looking at [us]_750-us , thank [God]_68-god , but it wo n’t be long before [someone]_587-someone clocks [us]_750-us . [Jesse]_113-jesse turns , looking up at [me]_2342-matt from a few steps below . ‘ [Jesse]_113-jesse , [you]_113-jesse ca n’t expect [me]_113-jesse to parade through here holding [your]_113-jesse hand . That ’s not fair . [Please]_116-please , let [me]_113-jesse go . ’_[113-jesse] [He]_2342-matt looks at [our]_750-us hands locked together , suspended between [our]_750-us bodies . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not letting [you]_752-you go , ’ [he]_2342-matt murmurs sullenly . ‘_[2342-matt] If [I]_2342-matt let [you]_752-you go , [you]_752-you might forget how it feels . [You]_752-you might change [your]_752-you mind . ’ There is absolutely no chance of [me]_752-you forgetting how [we]_750-us feel flesh on flesh , but that ’s not the part of [his]_2342-matt statement that ’s bothering [me]_752-you . ‘_[752-you] Change [my]_2342-matt mind about what ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask , totally perplexed . ‘_[2342-matt] [Me]_2342-matt . ’ [he]_2342-matt says simply . What about [him]_2342-matt ? [My]_2342-matt mind has n’t been made up on anything , so there ’s nothing to change . [I]_2342-matt need to focus [my]_2342-matt attention on persuading [him]_2342-matt to release [my]_2342-matt hand before [someone]_587-someone spots [us]_750-us . [I]_2342-matt ’ll file that comment , just like [I]_2342-matt ’ve filed the other strange comments [he]_2342-matt made [upstairs]_{690-the terrace} . Holy shit ! [I]_2342-matt nearly fall down [the stairs]_{690-the terrace} when [I]_2342-matt see [Sarah]_54-victoria breezing across [the terrace]_{690-the terrace} . Reality has just come crashing down around [me]_2342-matt . Surely when [he]_2342-matt sees [her]_54-victoria [he]_2342-matt ’ll stop being such [an unreasonable fool]_{2605-an unreasonable fool} . [She]_54-victoria ’s heading back inside . [I]_2342-matt do n’t have time to fuck about . [I]_2342-matt narrow [my]_2342-matt eyes on [him]_2342-matt and use brute force to yank [my]_2342-matt hand from [his]_2342-matt , nearly dislocating [my]_2342-matt shoulder in the process , but it works . [He]_2342-matt scowls at [me]_2342-matt , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t hang around long enough to take much notice . [I]_2342-matt take [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} fast , down to the vast openness of [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} . Even if [she]_54-victoria spots [us]_2608-us together , [she]_54-victoria ’ll be suspect . [The woman]_54-victoria has made it obvious that [she]_54-victoria dislikes [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt can hardly blame [her]_54-victoria . [She]_54-victoria saw [me]_2342-matt as a threat and as it turns out , [her]_54-victoria fear was warranted . [I]_2342-matt hit the bottom of [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} and see [Tom]_60-tom come running through [the crowd of people]_{2609-the crowd of people} , waving [his]_60-tom arms about frantically . ‘_[2342-matt] There [you]_753-you are ! Where have [you]_753-you been ? [Patrick]_327-jesse has been looking for [you]_753-you everywhere . ’ [He]_327-jesse clasps [my]_327-jesse shoulders , checking [me]_327-jesse up and down , ever the drama queen . Noting [my]_327-jesse disheveled state , [he]_327-jesse eyes [me]_327-jesse suspiciously . [I]_327-jesse feel the heat rise in [my]_327-jesse cheeks . ‘_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt was giving [Mr Ward]_327-jesse a tour . ’ [I]_78-darling offer , rather unconvincingly , while waving [my]_78-darling hand over [my]_78-darling shoulder in the general direction of [Jesse]_327-jesse . [I]_78-darling know [he]_327-jesse ’s close behind [me]_78-darling ; [I]_78-darling can still feel [him]_327-jesse brooding . And [I]_78-darling can smell [him]_327-jesse too . Mind [you]_327-jesse , that could be [his]_327-jesse scent all over [me]_78-darling . [I]_78-darling feel like [I]_78-darling ’ve been marked … or claimed , even . With [his]_327-jesse hands still clasped on [my]_78-darling shoulders , [Tom]_60-tom looks past [me]_78-darling . [He]_60-tom gasps , yanking [me]_78-darling closer , so [his]_60-tom mouth is at [my]_78-darling ear . ‘_[78-darling] [Darling]_78-darling , who is that divine being growling at [me]_2342-matt ? ’ [he]_60-tom asks , sniffing [me]_60-tom . [I]_60-tom struggle out of [his]_60-tom hands and turn to see [Jesse]_327-jesse drilling holes into [Tom]_60-tom . [I]_60-tom roll [my]_60-tom eyes at [his]_60-tom pathetic behavior . [Tom]_60-tom ’s [the gayest gay man in [London]_5-london]_60-tom . [He]_60-tom ca n’t possibly be threatened by [him]_60-tom . Not that [he]_60-tom should be feeling threatened by [anyone]_2475-anyone . ‘_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom , this is [Mr Ward]_327-jesse . [Mr Ward]_327-jesse , [Tom]_60-tom . [He]_60-tom ’s [a colleague]_{754-a colleague} . [He]_60-tom ’s also gay . ’ [I]_60-tom add the last bit sarcastically . [Tom]_60-tom wo n’t care – not that it is n’t bloody obvious anyway . [I]_60-tom look at [Tom]_60-tom , who ’s grinning widely , then cast [my]_60-tom eyes over to [Jesse]_327-jesse , who ’s stopped growling but does n’t look any less pissed . [Tom]_60-tom prances forward , grabs [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s shoulders and air kisses [him]_60-tom . [I]_60-tom stifle a laugh , watching as [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s eyes bulge and [his]_327-jesse shoulder tense . ‘_[60-tom] It really is a pleasure , ’ [Tom]_60-tom sings in [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s face while stroking down [his]_60-tom biceps . ‘_[2342-matt] Tell [me]_2342-matt , do [you]_60-tom work out ? ’ A burst of laughter falls from [my]_60-tom mouth and , rather immaturely , [I]_60-tom decide to leave [Jesse]_327-jesse to cope with [Tom]_60-tom ’s outrageous flirting on [his]_60-tom own . [I]_60-tom catch [his]_60-tom eyes as [I]_60-tom turn to leave , seeing [I]_60-tom ’m_[60-tom] being thrown daggers . [I]_2342-matt could n’t care less . [He]_755-he ’s being stupidly unreasonable . [I]_2342-matt find [Patrick]_327-jesse in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , chatting with [the developer]_{2330-the developer} . [He]_755-he waves [me]_2342-matt over and hands [me]_2342-matt a glass of champagne . It looks like [the car]_{548-the car} will be staying [here]_314-here tonight . ‘ Here [she]_{548-the car} is , ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse announces , draping [his]_327-jesse arm around [my]_2342-matt shoulder and hugging [me]_2342-matt against [his]_327-jesse big body . ‘ [This girl]_{548-the car} has transformed [my]_327-jesse company . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] so proud of [you]_760-you , flower . Where have [you]_760-you been ? ’ [he]_755-he asks , [his]_755-he blue eyes twinkling brightly and [his]_755-he cheeks bright red – a clear sign that [he]_755-he ’s had too much to drink . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve been giving a few tours . ’ [I]_2342-matt lie , smiling sweetly as [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] squeezed against [him]_327-jesse . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’ve just been talking about [you]_760-you . [Your]_760-you ears must have been burning , ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse says . No , not [my]_2342-matt ears ! ‘ [I]_{117-mr van der haus} was just saying to [Mr Van Der Haus]_{117-mr van der haus} , [you]_{117-mr van der haus} ’ll be more than happy to assist on [their]_{762-all tall and white blonde , with a bespoke suit and dress shoes} new venture . ’_{[117-mr van der haus]} [Mr Van Der Haus]_{117-mr van der haus} ? Oh , [he]_{117-mr van der haus} ’s [the other partner]_{761-my partner} . [I]_2342-matt ’ve not met [him]_{117-mr van der haus} . ‘ [[My]_2342-matt partner]_{761-my partner} insisted on it . ’_[2342-matt] [Van Der Haus]_{117-mr van der haus} says , smiling broadly . [He]_{117-mr van der haus} ’s very classy – [all tall and white blonde , with a bespoke suit and dress shoes]_{762-all tall and white blonde , with a bespoke suit and dress shoes} . [He]_{117-mr van der haus} ’s quite handsome … for [a mid - forties man]_{763-a mid - forties man} – [Another older man]_{764-another older man} . [I]_2342-matt blush . ‘ [I]_2342-matt would be delighted , [Mr Van Der Haus]_{117-mr van der haus} . What have [you]_{117-mr van der haus} got in mind for the next project ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask eagerly . ‘ Please , call [me]_{117-mr van der haus} [Mikael]_118-mikael . [The building]_{2350-the room} is nearly complete , ’_{[117-mr van der haus]} [He]_{117-mr van der haus} broadens [his]_{117-mr van der haus} smile . ‘ [We]_765-we have settled on traditional Scandinavian . [We]_765-we ’re_{[117-mr van der haus]} going back to [our]_765-we roots . ’ [His]_{117-mr van der haus} mild Danish accent is really sexy . Traditional Scandinavian ? Okay , this most definitely panics [me]_{117-mr van der haus} . Does this mean [I]_{117-mr van der haus} ’ll be hijacking [Ikea]_119-ikea ? Should n’t [they]_2612-they employ [someone Scandinavian]_{2613-someone scandinavian} for this ? ‘_{[117-mr van der haus]} It sounds exciting . ’ [I]_2342-matt say , turning to place [my]_2342-matt glass on [the worktop]_{2614-the worktop} , spotting [Jesse]_327-jesse across [the room]_{2350-the room} with [Sarah]_54-victoria as [I]_2342-matt do . Oh God . [He]_327-jesse ’s drilling holes into [me]_2342-matt , and [Sarah]_54-victoria ’s stood right bloody there . [I]_2342-matt swivel back to face [[my]_2342-matt audience]_{2615-my audience} . The panic must be clear on [my]_2342-matt burning face . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt think so , ’ [Mikael]_118-mikael agrees . ‘_[2342-matt] Once [I]_2342-matt ’ve discussed a favourable fee with [Patrick]_327-jesse , ’ [He]_327-jesse points [his]_327-jesse champagne glass at [[my]_2342-matt boss]_{745-my boss} . ‘_[2342-matt] [We]_766-we can start building a specification , then [you]_{767-an exceptionally talented young woman} can get started on some designs . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look forward to it . ’ [I]_768-i shift on the spot . [I]_768-i can still feel [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s eyes burning into [my]_768-i back . ‘_[768-i] [She]_768-i wo n’t disappoint [you]_{767-an exceptionally talented young woman} , [Mikael]_118-mikael . ’ [Patrick]_327-jesse chirps . [He]_327-jesse smiles . ‘_[118-mikael] [I]_2342-matt know [she]_768-i wo n’t . [You]_{767-an exceptionally talented young woman} ’re [an exceptionally talented young woman]_{767-an exceptionally talented young woman} , [Ava]_832-ava . [Your]_{767-an exceptionally talented young woman} vision is impeccable . Now , if [you]_{767-an exceptionally talented young woman} ’ll excuse [me]_2342-matt , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt feel the colour deepening in [my]_2342-matt face as [he]_769-he shakes [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s hand and then [mine]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_769-he will be in touch . ’_[769-he] [he]_769-he says , holding [my]_2342-matt hand in [his]_769-he , a little longer than necessary , before releasing it , strolling off and greeting [an Arab man]_{770-an arab man} . [I]_2342-matt ’m still tucked tightly under [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s arm as [Victoria]_54-victoria approaches [us]_2617-us and leans against the worktop on a huff . ‘_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt feet are killing [me]_2342-matt . ’ [she]_54-victoria exclaims . In unison , [Patrick]_327-jesse and [I]_2342-matt look down at [her]_54-victoria six inch leopard print platforms with blood red piping . [They]_2618-they ’re_[2342-matt] ridiculous . [Patrick]_327-jesse looks at [me]_2342-matt , shaking [his]_327-jesse head , before releasing [his]_327-jesse hold and declaring [his]_327-jesse departure . ‘ [Irene]_363-irene will be waiting for [me]_327-jesse [downstairs]_{2323-downstairs} . [I]_327-jesse ’ve got all the photographs , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse waves [his]_327-jesse camera at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’ll see [you]_327-jesse on Monday morning . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse kisses [each of [us]_772-us]_{771-each of us} . ‘ [You]_327-jesse ’ve both worked hard tonight . Well done . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse takes [his]_327-jesse big body out of [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , staggering slightly as [he]_327-jesse does . Worked hard ? [I]_2342-matt cringe . ‘ Oh , [I]_54-victoria nearly forgot , ’_{[54-victoria]} [Victoria]_54-victoria drags [my]_2342-matt eyes away from [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s swaying body , back to [her]_54-victoria . ‘ [Kate]_2557-kate said [she]_2557-kate could n’t wait around for [you]_327-jesse anymore , something about ice cream . ’_{[54-victoria]} [She]_54-victoria shrugs . ‘ [She]_54-victoria said that [she]_54-victoria hopes [you]_327-jesse ’ve had fun and [she]_54-victoria ’ll see [you]_327-jesse at [home]_281-home . ’_{[54-victoria]} Hopes [I]_2342-matt ’ve had fun ? Sardonic cow ! ‘ Thanks , [Victoria]_54-victoria . Listen , [I]_54-victoria think [we]_2621-we ’re_{[54-victoria]} done here . ’ [I]_2342-matt pick up one more glass of champagne as [the waiter]_{2622-the waiter} passes . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t drive , so [I]_2342-matt may as well make the most of it . And damn , [I]_2342-matt need it . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m heading [home]_281-home . Go when [you]_327-jesse ’re_[2342-matt] ready . [I]_2342-matt ’ll see [you]_774-you on Monday . ’ [I]_2342-matt kiss [her]_775-her cheek . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m going to hang around for a bit with [Tom]_60-tom . [He]_60-tom wants to go to [Route Sixty]_{26-route sixty} for a dance . ’_[775-her] [She]_775-her shakes [her]_775-her bum . ‘ Be prepared for a late one . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt warn . Once [Tom]_60-tom ’s on the dance floor [you]_776-you need [a bulldozer]_{777-a bulldozer} to get [him]_60-tom off . ‘ No ! [I]_60-tom told [him]_60-tom , [I]_60-tom ca n’t stay late . [I]_60-tom ’ve got too much to do tomorrow . And [I]_60-tom can hardly walk in these stupid shoes . ’_[60-tom] ‘ Good luck with that . Say bye to [Tom]_60-tom for [me]_775-her . ’_[775-her] ‘ [I]_775-her will when [I]_775-her find [him]_60-tom . ’_[775-her] [She]_775-her limps off in [her]_775-her ridiculous heels , leaving [me]_2342-matt to finish [my]_2342-matt last glass of champagne . [I]_2342-matt glance around [the kitchen]_{308-the place} , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t see [Jesse]_327-jesse or [Sarah]_54-victoria . [I]_2342-matt ’m relieved . [I]_2342-matt do n’t think [I]_2342-matt could look [Sarah]_54-victoria in the eye . [I]_2342-matt need to go and kick [my]_2342-matt loser arse around [the house]_{308-the place} for being so weak and easy . [I]_2342-matt reach [the penthouse elevator]_{2543-the penthouse elevator} and punch in the code . It ’ll be changed tomorrow for [the new owner]_{2624-the new owner} . [I]_2342-matt huff a little burst of laughter . Of course , [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse is [the new owner]_{2624-the new owner} . It ’s been one hell of a day . And now that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] alone , [I]_2342-matt can feel the foreseeable guilt begin to tumble over [me]_2342-matt . Oh , what [a foolish , desperate woman]_{779-a foolish , desperate woman} [I]_2342-matt am . ‘ Leaving so soon ? ’_{[779-a foolish , desperate woman]} [My]_2342-matt shoulders raise and [I]_2342-matt wince at the cold , unfriendly voice of [Sarah]_54-victoria . Straightening [my]_2342-matt expression , [I]_2342-matt turn to face [her]_54-victoria . ‘ It ’s been a long and tiring day . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt offer , inwardly cringing at [my]_2342-matt own double meaning statement . If only [she]_54-victoria knew how long and tiring . [She]_54-victoria sips [her]_54-victoria champagne while eyeing [me]_2342-matt suspiciously . ‘ [You]_54-victoria ’re_{[54-victoria]} quite a surprise . ’ [she]_54-victoria purrs . [She]_54-victoria seems genuine . Is that a compliment ? Oh God , do n’t be nice to [me]_54-victoria . [I]_54-victoria ’ve just screwed [[her]_54-victoria boyfriend]_{398-her boyfriend} in [[his]_{398-her boyfriend} new bathroom]_{2626-his new bathroom} , and now [she]_54-victoria ’s being nice ? Or is it [[her]_54-victoria bathroom]_{2626-his new bathroom} as well ? Oh heck ! [I]_54-victoria want to crawl inside [myself]_54-victoria and die . [I]_54-victoria ’m_{[54-victoria]} deplorable . [I]_2342-matt really do n’t know what to say . ‘ Thank [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt utter , turning back to [the elevator]_{780-the elevator} when it opens . [I]_2342-matt need to get out of [this place]_310-whoever . ‘ It was n’t a compliment , ’_[782-she] [she]_782-she says categorically . ‘ [I]_2342-matt did n’t think it was . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt retort , without looking at [her]_782-she . Obviously , [I]_2342-matt was mistaken . ‘ [You]_2342-matt know [Jesse]_327-jesse owns [this place]_310-whoever , right ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt want to ask [her]_782-she if [she]_782-she ’ll be living here too , but , of course , [I]_2342-matt do n’t . ‘ [He]_327-jesse mentioned it . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say casually , stepping into the lift and punching the code in . ‘ It was nice to see [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know why [I]_2342-matt said that , it was n’t nice at all . [I]_2342-matt still do n’t like [her]_782-she , and [she]_782-she ’s made it perfectly clear how [she]_782-she feels about [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t blame [her]_782-she . The doors close and [I]_2342-matt fall back against the mirrored wall . Shit ! Chapter 10 What ever happened to the simple , single life for [me]_2342-matt ? [I]_2342-matt ’m such a fuck up . After collecting [my]_2342-matt things from [the changing rooms of [the spa]_{2551-the spa}]_{2627-the changing rooms of the spa} , [I]_2342-matt dump them in [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} and wander down to [the docks]_{2630-the docks} , sitting [myself]_2342-matt on a bench . The hustle and bustle of [the docks]_{2630-the docks} is in full swing as [people]_372-people come and go , all looking happy and content . The flowers are in bloom on the elaborate lampposts , spilling over the baskets and cascading down the ornate iron , and the lights from [the building]_{390-the building} all flicker and glow across [the docks]_{2630-the docks} , dancing off of the rippling waves . [I]_2342-matt sigh and close [my]_2342-matt eyes , listening to the sound of the water lightly lapping at the sides of [the boats]_{2575-the boats} . It ’s rhythmic and relaxing , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t think anything will make [me]_2342-matt feel better at the moment . [I]_2342-matt get [my]_2342-matt phone out of [my]_2342-matt bag to call [Kate]_2557-kate . After letting it ring off , [I]_2342-matt leave a message . ‘_[2342-matt] Hey , it ’s [me]_2342-matt , ’ [I]_2557-kate know [I]_2557-kate sound forlorn , but [I]_2557-kate ca n’t feign chirpiness when [I]_2557-kate really do n’t feel it . [I]_2557-kate groan . ‘_[2557-kate] Oh , [Kate]_2557-kate … [I]_2342-matt ’ve made a monumental fuck up . [I]_2342-matt ’ll be [home]_281-home soon . ’ [I]_2342-matt drop [my]_2342-matt hand to the bench and resolve to the fact that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] pretty damn stupid . What was [I]_2342-matt thinking ? [My]_2342-matt phone jumps to life in [my]_2342-matt hand , and [I]_2342-matt connect the call without looking at the display , assuming it will be [Kate]_2557-kate . ‘ Hey . ’_[784-he] ‘ Where are [you]_2557-kate ? ’_[784-he] [He]_784-he speaks softly down the phone . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know whether [my]_2342-matt heart sinks because it ’s not [Kate]_2557-kate , or just because it is [Jesse]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know anything . [My]_2342-matt life was resuming rather well , [man]_678-man free and commitment free , and now this is going to play on [my]_2342-matt conscience . [I]_2342-matt ’m [a firm believer in [Karma]_120-karma]_{2634-a firm believer in karma} , in which case , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] in big trouble . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] at [home]_281-home . ’ [I]_2342-matt lie again . It ’s coming naturally these days . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] twiddling [my]_2342-matt hair , a sure sign of [my]_2342-matt Pinocchio behavior . ‘ Okay . ’_[784-he] [he]_784-he whispers and hangs up . Oh ? Well , that was easier than [I]_2342-matt contemplated . After [I]_2342-matt did n’t comply with hand holding orders and abandoned [him]_784-he with the gayest of the gay mauling [him]_784-he , [I]_2342-matt had expected pissed off . So , [he]_784-he ’s got what [he]_784-he wanted and that ’s it . [I]_2342-matt ’m not sure why [I]_54-victoria feel so neglected . It ’s what [I]_54-victoria had expected , and it ’s no less than [I]_54-victoria actually deserve . [His]_784-he persistence had worn [me]_54-victoria down , but now it ’s out of [my]_54-victoria system . Now , [I]_54-victoria can get back to [me]_54-victoria and [my]_54-victoria life . And if [I]_54-victoria ’m_{[54-victoria]} lucky , [Sarah]_54-victoria wo n’t ever find out about this mild indiscretion . Mild ? It was far from mild . Nevertheless , [Jesse]_327-jesse can continue with [his]_327-jesse serial seductions and move on to [the next lucky woman]_{395-a woman} , for all [I]_2342-matt care . [I]_2342-matt ’m sure [Sarah]_54-victoria will find out soon enough , just not now . [A woman]_{395-a woman} scorned and after [my]_2342-matt blood is the last thing [I]_2342-matt need . After sitting and musing for a while , [I]_2342-matt reluctantly get up to go and hail [a cab]_{553-a cab} . There ’s only so long [you]_2636-you can sit feeling sorry for [yourself]_2636-you . [I]_2342-matt need to put tonight behind [me]_2342-matt fast . [I]_2342-matt need to forget about it , eradicate it from [my]_2342-matt memory and put it down to experience . [He]_327-jesse ’s hazardous . [I]_2342-matt know it . As [I]_2342-matt turn and look up , [Jesse]_327-jesse is stood a few feet away , quietly watching [me]_2342-matt . How the hell am [I]_2342-matt going to achieve any of [my]_2342-matt objectives if [he]_327-jesse stalks [me]_2342-matt ? Where ’s [Sarah]_54-victoria ? [We]_2637-we face each other , still and silent , [his]_327-jesse face impassive as [he]_327-jesse studies [me]_2342-matt . And then [I]_2342-matt burst into tears . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know why , but [I]_2342-matt put [my]_2342-matt face in [my]_2342-matt hands and [I]_2342-matt sob . [God]_68-god only knows what [he]_327-jesse must be thinking . But then [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_327-jesse warm body swathe [me]_2342-matt and [my]_2342-matt head rests in the crevasse of [his]_327-jesse neck , [my]_2342-matt arms , on reflex , reaching under [his]_327-jesse to cling onto [him]_327-jesse . [We]_2637-we say nothing for a long time . [We]_2637-we just stand there in each other ’s arms , silent while [he]_327-jesse massages the back of [my]_2342-matt head with the palm of [his]_327-jesse big hand , keeping [me]_2342-matt tucked tightly against [his]_327-jesse body . There is only a small part of [me]_2342-matt wondering where [Sarah]_54-victoria is , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t dwell on it . [I]_2342-matt feel sheltered and safe , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] only mildly alert to the fact that [I]_2342-matt should be running away from these arms , not into [them]_788-them . [I]_2342-matt should be treating [them]_788-them with caution , not accepting the comfort [they]_788-them ’re giving [me]_788-them . Why ca n’t [I]_788-them run ? ‘_[788-them] How long have [you]_327-jesse been stood here ? ’ [I]_327-jesse ask when [my]_327-jesse sobs have finally abated . ‘_[327-jesse] Long enough , ’ [he]_327-jesse murmurs . ‘_[327-jesse] What ’s all this about a monumental fuck up ? ’ [He]_327-jesse squeezes [me]_2342-matt tighter . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hope to [God]_68-god [you]_327-jesse were n’t referring to [me]_2342-matt . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt was . ’ [I]_327-jesse do n’t beat around [the bush]_{2638-the bush} . It would be pointless . ‘_[327-jesse] [You]_327-jesse were ? ’ [he]_327-jesse sounds surprised and a little pissed , but then a few moments later [he]_327-jesse follows it up with , ‘_[327-jesse] Will [you]_327-jesse come [home]_281-home with [me]_2342-matt ? ’ [I]_327-jesse feel [him]_327-jesse tense slightly . [I]_327-jesse ’ve just told [him]_327-jesse that [he]_327-jesse ’s [my]_327-jesse monumental fuck up , and [he]_327-jesse wants to take [me]_327-jesse [home]_281-home ? What about [Sarah]_54-victoria ? [They]_2639-they obviously do n’t live together then . ‘_[327-jesse] No . ’ [I]_832-ava answer . What [I]_832-ava ’ve done already is bad enough . ‘_[832-ava] Please , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ ‘_[832-ava] Why ? ’ [I]_832-ava ask . [I]_832-ava need to know what [his]_327-jesse fascination is with [me]_832-ava , because if [I]_832-ava spend any more time with [this man]_327-jesse , [I]_832-ava may be in even more trouble . [I]_832-ava ca n’t be getting caught up in sordid affairs with [older , unavailable men]_{2640-older , unavailable men} . Although , exactly how old is still to be determined . There is something about [this man]_327-jesse , and it ’s screaming bad news . [He]_327-jesse pulls back to look down at [me]_832-ava , [his]_327-jesse beautiful brow furrowed . ‘_[832-ava] It feels right . [You]_791-you belong with [me]_2342-matt . ’ [He]_327-jesse says it like it ’s the most natural thing in [the world]_{516-the world} . ‘_[832-ava] So , who does [Sarah]_54-victoria belong with ? ’ ‘_{[54-victoria]} [Sarah]_54-victoria ? What ’s [she]_54-victoria got to do with anything ? ’ [He]_327-jesse looks really confused now . ‘_{[121-girlfriend]} [Girlfriend]_{121-girlfriend} , ’ [I]_{121-girlfriend} remind [him]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse really has no regard for [the poor woman]_{121-girlfriend} . [His]_327-jesse eyes bulge . ‘_{[121-girlfriend]} Oh , please do n’t tell [me]_2342-matt [you]_{121-girlfriend} ’ve been ignoring [my]_2342-matt calls and running away because [you]_{121-girlfriend} thought … ’ [He]_327-jesse releases [me]_{121-girlfriend} . ‘_{[121-girlfriend]} [You]_{121-girlfriend} thought [me]_2342-matt and [Sarah]_54-victoria were … ’ [He]_327-jesse steps back . ‘_{[121-girlfriend]} Oh , fucking hell , no ! ’ ‘_{[121-girlfriend]} Yes ! ’ [I]_54-victoria exclaim . ‘_{[54-victoria]} [She]_54-victoria ’s not ? ’ Oh , now [I]_54-victoria ’m_{[54-victoria]} really confused . [The woman]_54-victoria could n’t have made [her]_54-victoria claim any clearer if [she]_54-victoria ’d have pissed all over [him]_{121-girlfriend} . Who the hell is [she]_54-victoria then ? Oh , [I]_2342-matt really do n’t like [her]_54-victoria now . [His]_{121-girlfriend} hands delve into [his]_{121-girlfriend} hair . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , whatever made [you]_832-ava think that ? ’_{[121-girlfriend]} Is [he]_{121-girlfriend} winding [me]_2342-matt up ? ‘ Oh , let [me]_2342-matt see , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile sweetly . ‘ Maybe it was the kiss in [the hallway of [The Manor]_{2356-the manor}]_{2642-the hallway of the manor} . Or when [she]_54-victoria came looking for [you]_832-ava in [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} . Or it could be [her]_54-victoria frosty reception to [me]_2342-matt , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt draw breath . ‘ Or , perhaps , it ’s the fact that [she]_54-victoria ’s with [you]_832-ava every time [I]_2342-matt see [you]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe this . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been beating [myself]_2342-matt up about this , and over [a woman that [I]_2342-matt really do n’t like]_{792-that woman} . What a waste of conscience ! ‘ Who is [she]_{792-that woman} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask , completely riled . [He]_2342-matt holds [my]_2342-matt hands , leaning down so [his]_2342-matt eyes are level with [mine]_2342-matt . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [she]_832-ava ’s a little friendly . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Friendly ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scoff . ‘ [That woman]_{792-that woman} is not friendly ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [She]_{792-that woman} ’s [a friend]_{2645-a friend} . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says soothingly . [I]_2342-matt do n’t want soothing . No , [I]_2342-matt want to pop some pouty red lips ! [She]_{792-that woman} knew exactly what [she]_{792-that woman} was doing . [She]_{792-that woman} , clearly , wants to be more than [friends]_2512-friends . [He]_2342-matt brushes [his]_2342-matt palm down [my]_2342-matt cheek . ‘ Now [we]_2646-we ’ve clarified [Sarah]_54-victoria ’s position in [my]_2342-matt life , can [we]_2646-we talk about [yours]_795-you ? ’_[2342-matt] What ? [I]_2342-matt recoil . ‘ What do [you]_795-you mean ? ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt previous comments suddenly embed [themselves]_{794-themselves} into [my]_2342-matt mind . All of the , [you]_795-you ’re [mine]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt ’ll keep [you]_795-you and [you]_795-you ’ll change [your]_795-you mind . [He]_2342-matt smirks . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mean in [my]_2342-matt bed and under [me]_2342-matt . ’ [He]_2342-matt yanks [me]_2342-matt into [his]_2342-matt chest , and [I]_2342-matt resume nuzzle , sagging with relief . That sounds good to [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’ve just added a steaming hot affair with [an older man]_327-jesse to [my]_2342-matt bucket list , just so [I]_2342-matt can tick it off . No commitment , no tying down . This suits [me]_2342-matt fine . Although , [I]_2342-matt doubt [I]_2342-matt would get either of the aforementioned from [this man]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] At [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . It ’s quite a drive . ‘_[2342-matt] No , [I]_2342-matt ’ve [an apartment]_{797-an apartment} behind [me]_2342-matt , but [I]_2342-matt ca n’t move in until tomorrow . [I]_2342-matt ’m renting [a place on [Hyde Park]_{27-hyde park}]_{2648-a place on hyde park} . [You]_799-you ’ll come . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t hesitate , but [I]_2342-matt ’m aware that it was n’t a question . And [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] also mindful of [his]_798-his previous comments , especially [his]_798-his last one : [You]_799-you belong with [me]_2342-matt . Is that [his]_798-his decision , or [mine]_2342-matt ? [He]_798-his sighs , applying more pressure to [my]_2342-matt head and back . Yes , proceed with extreme caution , [Ava]_832-ava . [We]_800-we travel in silence , except for the low tones of [Massive Attack ’s Teardrops]_{28-massive attack ’s teardrops} filtering out of [his]_798-his car sound system . How fitting after [my]_2342-matt sobbing fit . [I]_2342-matt spend most of the journey deliberating on [my]_2342-matt decision to come [home]_281-home with [Jesse]_327-jesse , while [he]_327-jesse repeatedly draws breath , as if intending to say something but deciding against it . [He]_327-jesse pulls [his]_327-jesse Aston [Martin]_{122-aston martin} into [a gated car park]_{802-a gated car park} , and [I]_2342-matt let [myself]_2342-matt out . Popping [his]_327-jesse boot and grabbing [my]_2342-matt bags , [he]_327-jesse takes [my]_2342-matt hand and leads [me]_2342-matt into [the building]_{390-the building} . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] on the first floor . [We]_804-we ’ll take the stairs , it ’s quicker . ’ [He]_327-jesse guides [me]_327-jesse through a grey fire door , into [the stairwell]_{390-the building} and up a flight of stairs . [We]_804-we exit into [a narrow corridor]_{2649-a narrow corridor} . It looks like [a specialist hospital facility]_{2650-a specialist hospital facility} . [Jesse]_327-jesse unlocks the only other door in the long expanse of white and grey , ushers [me]_327-jesse in , and [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] immediately stood in a large open plan area . It ’s white from top to bottom , with black furniture and a black kitchen , monochrome to the absolute maximum – [a real guy]_{805-a real guy} ’s pad . It looks empty , cold and clinical . [I]_2342-matt hate it . ‘ It ’s [a pit stop]_{2651-a pit stop} . [I]_2342-matt bet [you]_806-i ’re_[2342-matt] really offended . ’ [His]_327-jesse eyes glow and [he]_327-jesse smiles , no doubt at [my]_2342-matt critical face . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt prefer [your]_806-i new place . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [Me]_2342-matt too , ’ [I]_2342-matt wander further into [the apartment]_314-here , scrutinising the lack of warmth and cosiness . How does [he]_327-jesse live [here]_314-here ? There are no personal touches , no paintings or photographs . [I]_2342-matt notice a snowboard propped up in the corner , with various skiing equipment piled around [it]_314-here . On the side board , where [I]_2342-matt would expect to see vases or ornaments , there ’s a motorcycle helmet and some leather gloves . That ’s a surprise . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t keep alcohol . Do [you]_806-i want some water ? ’ [He]_327-jesse strolls over to the huge , black fridge and pulls it open . ‘_[806-i] Please . ’ [I]_806-i join [him]_327-jesse in the [kitchen area]_{2653-the island} , pulling out a black bar stool from under the black granite worktop of [the island]_{2653-the island} . [Jesse]_327-jesse removes [his]_327-jesse suit jacket and perches on the adjacent stool , turning to face [me]_806-i and handing [me]_806-i a glass of water before [he]_327-jesse unscrews the cap of a bottle for [himself]_327-jesse . [His]_327-jesse long , muscled legs are straining against [his]_327-jesse trousers , [his]_327-jesse feet flat on the floor , but [his]_327-jesse legs considerably bent , considering the height of the stool . [My]_806-i feet are propped on the footrest . [He]_327-jesse sips [his]_327-jesse water , looking at [me]_806-i over the bottle , while [I]_806-i fiddle with [my]_806-i glass . [I]_806-i feel incredibly uncomfortable . [I]_806-i should n’t have come . Things have become awkward and [I]_806-i ’m_[806-i] not sure why . There is one reason and one reason alone why [he]_807-he ’s brought [me]_2342-matt here . And like [the idiot that [I]_2342-matt am]_{808-the idiot that i am} , [I]_2342-matt ’ve gone along with it . [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_807-he sigh . [He]_807-he places [his]_807-he bottle down before [he]_807-he takes [my]_2342-matt glass from [my]_2342-matt hand and puts it on [the island worktop]_{809-the island worktop} . Grasping the seat of [my]_2342-matt stool , [he]_807-he drags it closer to [his]_807-he , turning it to face [him]_807-he , resting [his]_807-he palms on [my]_2342-matt knees . [He]_807-he leans in . ‘ Why did [you]_810-you cry ? ’_[807-he] [he]_807-he asks . ‘ [I]_807-he do n’t know . ’_[807-he] [I]_2342-matt answer honestly . The whole episode caught [me]_2342-matt off guard , if [I]_2342-matt ’m honest . There ’s no reason for [me]_2342-matt to be blubbering all over [him]_807-he . [I]_2342-matt feel pretty stupid . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes , [you]_810-you do . Tell [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt consider what [I]_2342-matt should say , while [his]_807-he eyes probe [mine]_2342-matt , waiting for [me]_2342-matt to answer . The light crease appears across [his]_807-he brow , and [I]_2342-matt realise now that it ’s a concentration slash concern frown . What should [I]_2342-matt tell [him]_807-he ? That [I]_2342-matt ’ve just come out of a four year relationship with [a bloke who persistently cheated on [me]_2342-matt]_{2654-a bloke who persistently cheated on me} ? That over the last four weeks , since calling it a day , [I]_2342-matt ’ve re - established [my]_2342-matt identity and [I]_2342-matt do n’t want [a man]_{340-a man} to rob it again ? That [my]_2342-matt trust in [men]_2420-men is zero and the fact that [he]_{340-a man} is , quite clearly , [a prince of seduction]_{340-a man} spells trouble for [me]_2342-matt ? Oh , and finally , [I]_2342-matt know deep down that this could all end very messily for [me]_2342-matt – not [him]_807-he . But [he]_807-he wo n’t want to hear any of that girly nonsense . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . ’ [I]_2342-matt repeat [myself]_2342-matt instead . [He]_807-he sighs , [his]_807-he frown morphing into a scowl as [he]_807-he taps [his]_807-he fingers on the granite a few times . [I]_2342-matt can , quite literally , see the cogs of [his]_807-he mind grinding as [he]_807-he looks at [me]_2342-matt , chewing [his]_807-he bottom lip . ‘_[2342-matt] Would [I]_2342-matt be right in saying that [your]_811-your misinterpretation of [mine]_2342-matt and [Sarah]_54-victoria ’s relationship was n’t the only reason [you]_812-you were avoiding [me]_2342-matt ? ’ [he]_807-he asks , but it ’s more like a statement than a question . [He]_807-he unclasps [his]_807-he Rolex and slides it onto the worktop . ‘_[2342-matt] Probably , ’ [I]_2342-matt look away from [him]_807-he , a little ashamed – [I]_2342-matt do n’t know why . How does [he]_807-he know that , anyway ? ‘_[2342-matt] That ’s disappointing . ’ [he]_807-he states conclusively , but [I]_2342-matt ca n’t hear the disappointment in [his]_807-he voice . All [I]_2342-matt hear is annoyance . [I]_2342-matt do n’t need to tell [him]_807-he that [I]_2342-matt could , very possibly , fall hard for [him]_807-he . [Women]_348-women must fall hard for [him]_807-he on a daily basis . [I]_2342-matt recoil slightly when [he]_807-he grabs [my]_2342-matt jaw and tugs [my]_2342-matt face back to [his]_807-he . The hollow at [his]_807-he cheekbones confirm [my]_2342-matt thoughts . [He]_807-he ’s gritting [his]_807-he teeth . [He]_807-he ’s angry ? What did [he]_807-he bloody expect ? For [me]_2342-matt to drop to [my]_2342-matt knees and kiss [his]_807-he feet ? [He]_807-he ’s obviously use it to . It was just sex , was n’t it ? [We]_2658-we both needed to get each other out [our]_2658-we systems , and there was an opportunity to do just that . [We]_2658-we took the opportunity , that ’s all . [He]_807-he ’s not out of [your]_813-your system ! Oh bloody hell . [I]_2342-matt do n’t think [he]_807-he will be any time soon either – if ever . [He]_807-he ’s already under [my]_2342-matt skin . ‘_[2342-matt] What did [you]_813-your want [me]_2342-matt to say ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . [He]_807-he releases [my]_2342-matt jaw , letting out a frustrated sigh , and before [I]_2342-matt know what ’s hit [me]_2342-matt , [he]_807-he grabs [me]_2342-matt and tosses [me]_2342-matt onto [the worktop]_{2614-the worktop} , sending [my]_2342-matt glass of water crashing to the tiled floor . The glass shatters loudly around [us]_2660-us . [My]_2342-matt legs are spread with [his]_807-he thighs , causing [my]_2342-matt dress to ride up , and [he]_807-he attacks [my]_2342-matt mouth with [his]_807-he inexorable tongue , plunging deep and meaningfully . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] slightly taken aback by [his]_814-his impulsive assault , but [I]_2342-matt ’m powerless to stop [him]_814-his , in physical strength and in mental strength . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] instantly plagued by blazing goose bumps and hot wetness at [my]_2342-matt core , as [he]_814-his thrusts [his]_814-his hips hard while consuming [my]_2342-matt mouth . [He]_814-his cups [my]_2342-matt bum , pulling [me]_2342-matt closer , keeping [his]_814-his groin tight against [me]_2342-matt . Oh , holy shit ! [I]_2342-matt groan as [his]_814-his hips roll , unashamed for [him]_814-his to know that [I]_2342-matt ’m turned on like a thousand watt light bulb . Releasing [my]_2342-matt lips , [he]_814-his stares at [me]_2342-matt , breathing hard with brazen hunger shining from [his]_814-his green pools . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] certain [my]_2342-matt eyes are matching [his]_814-his . ‘ Let ’s establish some things here , ’_[814-his] [he]_814-his pants through short breaths . [He]_814-his pulls [me]_2342-matt off of the worktop so [I]_2342-matt ’m straddling [his]_814-his waist . [He]_814-his stares at [me]_{815-a shit liar} . ‘_{[815-a shit liar]} [You]_{815-a shit liar} ’re [a shit liar]_{815-a shit liar} . ’_{[815-a shit liar]} Yes , this [I]_2342-matt know . [[My]_2342-matt Mum]_577-mum and [Dad]_581-dad tell [me]_2342-matt all the time . [I]_2342-matt twiddle [my]_2342-matt hair when [I]_2342-matt lie . It ’s involuntary – [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help it . What else are [we]_817-we establishing because [I]_2342-matt ’m burning up on pleasure here ? [He]_{815-a shit liar} leans in and kisses [my]_{815-a shit liar} lips , softly stroking [my]_{815-a shit liar} tongue with [his]_{815-a shit liar} . ‘_{[815-a shit liar]} [You]_{815-a shit liar} ’re [mine]_{815-a shit liar} now , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_{[815-a shit liar]} [He]_{815-a shit liar} rolls [his]_{815-a shit liar} hips , causing [me]_2342-matt to shift upwards and tense to relieve [myself]_2342-matt of the relentless buzzing at [my]_2342-matt core . [We]_817-we ’re face to face . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m keeping [you]_{815-a shit liar} forever . ’_{[815-a shit liar]} [he]_{815-a shit liar} informs [me]_2342-matt on a thrust of [his]_{815-a shit liar} hips . [I]_2342-matt close [my]_2342-matt arms around [his]_{815-a shit liar} shoulders and kiss [him]_{815-a shit liar} on [his]_{815-a shit liar} lush , moist lips , [my]_2342-matt way of saying , okay . [I]_2342-matt ’m desperate for [him]_{815-a shit liar} all over again . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] in so much trouble . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to possess every.single.part.of.you , ’ [He]_{815-a shit liar} punctuates each word clearly and sharply . ‘_[2342-matt] There will be nowhere on this beautiful body that wo n’t have had [me]_2342-matt in it , on it or over it . ’ [His]_{815-a shit liar} voice is carnal and deadly serious , which only serves to increase [my]_{815-a shit liar} heart rate a little more . Every single bit , though ? Should [I]_{815-a shit liar} look further into that ? [I]_{815-a shit liar} do n’t get a chance to . [I]_{815-a shit liar} ’m_{[815-a shit liar]} lowered to [my]_2342-matt feet and spun around before [he]_{815-a shit liar} yanks the zipper of [my]_2342-matt poor , mistreated dress down . [My]_2342-matt bra is removed and tossed aside just as quickly . Leaning down , [he]_{815-a shit liar} kisses the nape of [my]_2342-matt exposed neck , blowing [his]_{815-a shit liar} cool , minty breath across it , instigating a delightful shiver from the mixture of heat from is tongue and the coolness of [his]_{815-a shit liar} breath . Christ , [I]_2342-matt ’m buzzing all over . [I]_2342-matt flex [my]_2342-matt neck , rolling [my]_2342-matt shoulder blades to alleviate the tingles that are riddling [my]_2342-matt entire body . [He]_{815-a shit liar} moves [his]_{815-a shit liar} mouth to [my]_2342-matt ear . ‘_[2342-matt] Face [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt do as [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] told , turning back around to look at [him]_{815-a shit liar} , finding an expression of pure determination as [he]_{815-a shit liar} lifts [me]_2342-matt back onto [the island]_{2653-the island} . [I]_2342-matt rest [my]_2342-matt hands on [his]_{815-a shit liar} shoulders , but [he]_{815-a shit liar} grasps them , and [I]_2342-matt reluctantly let [him]_{815-a shit liar} guide them down to the worktop so [I]_2342-matt ’m gripping the edge . ‘_{[815-a shit liar]} The hands stay here . ’ [he]_{815-a shit liar} says firmly as [he]_{815-a shit liar} releases them , backing up [his]_{815-a shit liar} demand with that confident tone . [He]_{815-a shit liar} hooks [his]_{815-a shit liar} fingers in the top of [my]_{815-a shit liar} knickers and tugs at [them]_2661-them . ‘_{[815-a shit liar]} Lift . ’ [I]_2342-matt push [my]_2342-matt weight onto [my]_2342-matt arms , lifting [my]_2342-matt backside off of the worktop so [he]_{815-a shit liar} can draw them down [my]_2342-matt legs , lowering [myself]_2342-matt back down when [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] free from the constraints of [my]_2342-matt underwear . [I]_2342-matt ’m stark naked , and [he]_{815-a shit liar} ’s still fully dressed . And [he]_{815-a shit liar} does n’t look like [he]_{815-a shit liar} has any intention of removing [his]_{815-a shit liar} clothes anytime soon . [I]_2342-matt want to see that chest . [I]_2342-matt move [my]_2342-matt hands from the edge of the counter to the hem of [his]_{815-a shit liar} shirt . [He]_{815-a shit liar} steps back , shaking [his]_{815-a shit liar} head slowly . ‘_[2342-matt] Hands , ’ [I]_2342-matt pout , returning [my]_2342-matt hands to the worktop edge . [I]_2342-matt want to see [him]_{815-a shit liar} , feel [him]_{815-a shit liar} . This is not fair . [He]_{815-a shit liar} positions [his]_{815-a shit liar} hands on [his]_{815-a shit liar} top button . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_819-you want [me]_2342-matt to remove [my]_2342-matt shirt ? ’ [His]_{815-a shit liar} low , husky voice is playing havoc with [my]_2342-matt discipline . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes . ’ [I]_2342-matt breathe . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes , what ? ’ [he]_{815-a shit liar} smirks at [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt narrow [my]_2342-matt eyes on [him]_{815-a shit liar} . ‘_[2342-matt] Please . ’ [I]_2342-matt grate , in a long drawn out breath , well aware that [he]_{815-a shit liar} ’s getting a thrill from making [me]_2342-matt beg . [He]_{815-a shit liar} smiles as [he]_{815-a shit liar} slowly unbuttons [his]_{815-a shit liar} shirt , keeping [his]_{815-a shit liar} eyes fixed firmly on [me]_2342-matt . It takes every bit of effort not to reach forward and yank it open . Why is [he]_{815-a shit liar} making such a meal of this ? [He]_{815-a shit liar} knows what [he]_{815-a shit liar} ’s doing . [He]_{815-a shit liar} ’s making [me]_2342-matt wait . It ’s torturous . When [he]_{815-a shit liar} finally gets to the last button , [he]_{815-a shit liar} rolls [his]_{815-a shit liar} shoulders , pulling [his]_{815-a shit liar} shirt off . For the briefest moment - when both arms are flexed back , [his]_{815-a shit liar} muscles bulging and rippling with [his]_{815-a shit liar} movement - [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt might pass out . [He]_{815-a shit liar} kicks [his]_{815-a shit liar} tan [Grensons]_123-grensons off and removes [his]_{815-a shit liar} socks . [He]_{815-a shit liar} ’s naked except for [his]_{815-a shit liar} trousers . [I]_2342-matt run [my]_2342-matt eyes over [his]_{815-a shit liar} perfect physic , [my]_2342-matt mouth watering , until [I]_2342-matt see that vicious mar on [his]_{815-a shit liar} abdomen . [My]_2342-matt eyes pause on it momentarily , but [he]_{815-a shit liar} positions [himself]_{815-a shit liar} back between [my]_2342-matt legs , snapping [me]_2342-matt from [my]_2342-matt curiosity . [I]_2342-matt fight the urge to grab [him]_{815-a shit liar} . The pressure on [my]_2342-matt core has [me]_2342-matt shifting on the counter to ease the immense spasms searing through [me]_2342-matt . And [he]_{815-a shit liar} ’s not unaffected [himself]_{815-a shit liar} . [His]_{815-a shit liar} huge erection is straining against the front of [his]_{815-a shit liar} trousers , pressing hard into [my]_2342-matt thigh . [He]_{815-a shit liar} rests [his]_{815-a shit liar} hands so they span the tops of [my]_2342-matt legs , [his]_{815-a shit liar} thumbs on [my]_2342-matt inside thigh slowly circling , millimetres from [my]_2342-matt aching core . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] raw with pure lust , [my]_2342-matt rapid breathing becoming increasingly difficult to regulate . [He]_820-he squeezes [my]_2342-matt thighs . ‘ Where to start ? ’_[820-he] [he]_820-he muses , lifting one hand and running [his]_820-he thumb across [my]_2342-matt bottom lip . ‘ Here ? ’_[820-he] [he]_820-he asks . [My]_2342-matt lips part . [He]_820-he watches [me]_2342-matt as [he]_820-he slides [his]_820-he thumb into [my]_2342-matt mouth , and [I]_2342-matt circle it with [my]_2342-matt tongue , [his]_820-he lips lifting at the corners in a diminutive smile . [He]_820-he withdraws [his]_820-he thumb , running it across [my]_2342-matt cheek , then , very slowly , [he]_820-he strokes [his]_820-he flat palm down [my]_2342-matt neck and onto [my]_2342-matt pumping chest before cupping [my]_2342-matt breast possessively . ‘ Or here ? ’_[820-he] [His]_820-he husky voice is betraying [his]_820-he calm façade as [he]_820-he raises a questioning eyebrow at [me]_2342-matt , circling [my]_2342-matt nipple with [his]_820-he thumb . [I]_2342-matt gasp . If [he]_820-he ’s expecting [me]_2342-matt to talk , then [he]_820-he can forget it . Speech has totally eluded [me]_2342-matt , being replaced with short , sharp breaths . ‘ These are [mine]_2342-matt . ’_[820-he] [He]_820-he gently kneads [my]_2342-matt breast for a few moments before recommencing [his]_820-he hand stroke down [my]_2342-matt sensitive skin . [He]_820-he spends a few seconds making big circles on [my]_2342-matt stomach before [he]_820-he continues downwards . As the heat of [his]_820-he hand reaches the inside of [my]_2342-matt thigh , [I]_2342-matt force [myself]_2342-matt to breathe . [I]_2342-matt ’m struggling and feeling dizzy with lust Just when [I]_2342-matt think [he]_820-he ’s going to claim [me]_2342-matt with [his]_820-he fingers , [he]_820-he swiftly changes direction , running [his]_820-he hand around [my]_2342-matt hip , causing [me]_2342-matt to jerk . [He]_820-he cups [my]_2342-matt arse . ‘_[2342-matt] Or here ? ’ [He]_820-he ’s completely serious . [I]_832-ava go rigid . ‘_[832-ava] Every single inch , [Ava]_832-ava , ’ [he]_820-he breathes . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] holding [my]_2342-matt breath , [my]_2342-matt lungs burning , as [he]_821-he smiles a little , [his]_821-he hand starting to drift back around to [my]_2342-matt front . [He]_821-he does n’t mess about – [he]_821-he cups [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_821-he think [I]_821-he ’ll start here . ’_[821-he] [I]_2342-matt release [my]_2342-matt breath in a thankful rush , relief swamping [my]_2342-matt entire being . [He]_821-he taps [his]_821-he finger under [my]_2342-matt chin so [I]_2342-matt ’m forced to look up into [his]_821-he sludgy eyes . ‘_[821-he] But [I]_2342-matt did mean every inch . ’ [he]_821-he affirms coolly , before placing [his]_821-he hand on the worktop besides [my]_821-he thigh , [his]_821-he other hand still cupping [my]_821-he core . Fuck ! [I]_821-he ’m_[821-he] not sure if [I]_2342-matt ’m up for that . [Matt]_2342-matt had tried a few times . It was a flat no fucking way ! More pleasurable route , [I]_822-you think [he]_821-he said – yes , for [him]_821-he ! [I]_822-you do n’t have long to mood over it . [I]_822-you feel [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s finger run up the centre of [my]_822-you core , generating flashes of pleasure that jet off in a million different directions around [my]_822-you body . [I]_822-you slump forward , resting [my]_822-you forehead on [his]_822-you shoulder as [my]_822-you upper body rolls up and down in time to [my]_822-you thumping heartbeat . ‘_[822-you] [You]_822-you ’re drenched , ’_[822-you] [he]_822-you rumbles low in [my]_2342-matt ear as [he]_822-you plunges a finger into [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt immediately tighten [my]_2342-matt muscles around it . ‘ You.want.me . ’_[822-you] [he]_822-you states firmly , withdrawing and spreading the wetness over [my]_2342-matt clit before surging forward again with two fingers . [I]_2342-matt cry out . ‘ Tell [me]_2342-matt [you]_822-you want [me]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt want [you]_822-you . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt pant against [his]_822-you shoulder . [I]_2342-matt hear a groan of satisfaction . ‘ Tell [me]_2342-matt [you]_822-you need [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt would tell [him]_822-you anything [he]_822-you wants to hear at this point – absolutely anything . ‘ [I]_2342-matt need [you]_822-you . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_822-you ’ll always need [me]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to make sure of it . Now , let ’s see if [we]_823-me can fuck some sense into [you]_824-you . ’ Sense ? What ’s [he]_822-you on about ? [He]_822-you withdraws [his]_822-you fingers from [me]_823-me and pulls [me]_823-me down from [the worktop]_{2614-the worktop} , turning [me]_823-me slowly in [his]_822-you arms . [My]_823-me hands find the flat surface of the granite . [I]_823-me ’m_[823-me] not happy with this position . ‘ [I]_2342-matt want to see [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt moan , although [I]_2342-matt do n’t fancy [my]_2342-matt chances . [He]_2342-matt seems like the dominant type . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_2342-matt body closing in on [me]_2342-matt , the heat pouring out of [him]_2342-matt and into [me]_2342-matt . When the firmness of [his]_2342-matt chest presses up against [my]_2342-matt back , [I]_2342-matt lean on [him]_2342-matt , the back of [my]_2342-matt head resting on [his]_2342-matt shoulder . [He]_2342-matt turns [his]_2342-matt mouth into [my]_2342-matt ear . ‘ Shut up and soak up the pleasure . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt pushes [his]_2342-matt hips into the small of [my]_2342-matt back and slowly grinds into [me]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt reaches forward , placing [his]_2342-matt hands on [my]_2342-matt wrists . ‘ No talking unless [I]_2342-matt tell [you]_{825-a man who likes to be in control} . [You]_{825-a man who likes to be in control} got that ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt nod . This is definitely [a man who likes to be in control]_{825-a man who likes to be in control} . [He]_2342-matt begins a slow , languid jaunt up [my]_2342-matt arms with [his]_2342-matt talented fingers , leaving [my]_2342-matt skin prickling in [their]_826-their wake , spreading fire through [my]_2342-matt veins . [My]_2342-matt breasts ache for [his]_2342-matt touch as [he]_2342-matt reaches the tops of [my]_2342-matt arms and moves onto [my]_2342-matt shoulders . [I]_2342-matt clamp [my]_2342-matt lips together , but a moan escapes . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help it , not when [he]_2342-matt ’s making [me]_2342-matt feel like this . [His]_2342-matt hands span [my]_2342-matt shoulders entirely , and [he]_2342-matt begins circling [his]_2342-matt thumbs into the base of [my]_2342-matt neck , working out the stiffness that ’s looming there . The feeling is out of [this world]_{827-this world} . [My]_2342-matt body is relaxed and [my]_2342-matt mind serene . Lowering [his]_2342-matt mouth to [my]_2342-matt neck , [he]_2342-matt brushes [his]_2342-matt lips over [my]_2342-matt skin before kissing [me]_2342-matt gently . ‘ [Your]_2342-matt skin is addictive . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Hmmm . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt purr . That ’s not talking . [He]_2342-matt laughs softly . ‘ This good ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks , trailing feather soft kisses up and down [my]_2342-matt jaw . [I]_2342-matt turn [my]_2342-matt face in towards [him]_2342-matt , meeting [him]_2342-matt square in the eye . [I]_2342-matt nod again . [He]_2342-matt soaks up [my]_2342-matt gaze for a few seconds , [his]_2342-matt expression contented , before planting a soft kiss on [my]_2342-matt lips and letting [his]_2342-matt hands work [their]_828-their way down to [my]_2342-matt hips . [I]_2342-matt clench [my]_2342-matt eyes shut , trying [my]_2342-matt hardest not to jolt forward . ‘ Keep [your]_2342-matt hands where they are . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt orders firmly , releasing [his]_2342-matt hold of [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt hear the sounds of [his]_2342-matt trousers being removed before [his]_2342-matt hands are back on [my]_2342-matt hips . [He]_2342-matt ’s steps back from [me]_2342-matt , slowly taking [my]_2342-matt hips with [him]_2342-matt . [My]_2342-matt pulse accelerates and [I]_2342-matt shift [my]_2342-matt grip on the worktop to support [myself]_2342-matt in [my]_2342-matt braced position . [I]_2342-matt flinch when [his]_2342-matt hand cups the base of [my]_2342-matt neck , feeling [his]_2342-matt erection nudging at [my]_2342-matt opening . In an attempt to stabilise [my]_2342-matt breathing , [I]_2342-matt draw a long breath , trying to relax as [I]_2342-matt linger on the brink of penetration . This is the worst kind of torture . [He]_2342-matt leans forward , [his]_2342-matt warm , wet tongue connecting with [my]_2342-matt back , licking a straight line up the centre of [my]_2342-matt spine , finishing with a soft kiss on the base of [my]_2342-matt neck . ‘ Are [you]_2663-you ready for [me]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks against [my]_2342-matt skin , the vibration of [his]_2342-matt lips sending tremors of pleasure straight to [my]_2342-matt core . ‘ [You]_832-ava can answer . ’_[2342-matt] Despite [my]_2342-matt breathing exercises , [I]_2342-matt ’m still short of breath . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes . ’ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] virtually panting . The rush of air that escapes [his]_2342-matt mouth is thorough appreciation . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_2342-matt hand brush against [my]_2342-matt bum as [he]_2342-matt positions [himself]_2342-matt , then , very slowly , [he]_2342-matt breaches [my]_2342-matt pulsing void , plunging in smoothly and controlled . [His]_2342-matt breathing is laboured , and [I]_2342-matt want to scream in pleasure , but [I]_2342-matt ’m not sure that it ’s allowed . Oh , this is good . What will [he]_2342-matt do if [I]_832-ava disobey [him]_2342-matt , anyway ? [My]_832-ava loss will be [his]_2342-matt loss too . [He]_2342-matt repositions [his]_2342-matt hand back on [my]_832-ava hip and stills . [My]_832-ava grip tightens on the counter until [my]_832-ava knuckles are bloodless , and [I]_832-ava find [myself]_832-ava pushing back against [him]_2342-matt , taking [him]_2342-matt to the hilt . ‘_[832-ava] Fuck , [Ava]_832-ava , [you]_832-ava turn [me]_2342-matt inside out . ’ [he]_2342-matt groans , [his]_2342-matt hand tightening around [my]_832-ava neck , holding [me]_832-ava in place , [his]_2342-matt other leaving [my]_832-ava hip and reaching around to cup [my]_832-ava breast . ‘_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t do this slow . ’ [he]_2342-matt pants as [he]_2342-matt moulds [me]_327-jesse . [He]_2342-matt withdraws slowly and advances , hard and fast , in one swift lash , jolting [me]_327-jesse forward . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse ! ’ [I]_327-jesse cry . There is not a chance in Hell [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] going to be quiet if [he]_327-jesse continues with that . [[My]_2342-matt God]_2383-god , [this man]_327-jesse is powerful . [He]_327-jesse withdraws slowly . ‘ Quiet , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse grates and strikes again , knocking [my]_2342-matt breath right out of [my]_2342-matt lungs . [I]_2342-matt adjust [my]_2342-matt grip , but it ’s hard when [my]_2342-matt hands are sweaty , causing them to slide on the granite . [I]_2342-matt rid [myself]_2342-matt of the flex in [my]_2342-matt arms to prevent [him]_327-jesse shoving [me]_2342-matt forward again , just about managing to stabilise [myself]_2342-matt in time for [his]_327-jesse assault . [He]_327-jesse hammers back into [me]_2342-matt tirelessly , leaving no recovering space between hard , relentless pounds . [He]_327-jesse ’s unforgiving . Shifting [his]_327-jesse hands from [my]_2342-matt neck and breast , [he]_327-jesse takes a firm hold of [my]_2342-matt hips and pulls [me]_2342-matt back to meet [his]_327-jesse every hard thrust , slamming into [me]_2342-matt to the absolute maximum . [I]_2342-matt ’ve lost all sense of realism . Nothing else exists , except for [Jesse]_327-jesse , [his]_327-jesse brutal drive and [my]_2342-matt body ’s craving for it . This is mind bending stuff . [My]_2342-matt stomach coils as [I]_2342-matt feel [my]_2342-matt impending orgasm battle its way forward , assisted rapidly by [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s ruthless momentum . ‘ Not yet , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse warns . How does [he]_327-jesse know ? [I]_2342-matt ca n’t sustain this for much longer . [I]_2342-matt ’m going to explode at any moment . [I]_{830-a slave} can hear [our]_2664-our sweaty bodies colliding on loud blows , along with [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s throaty grunts rolling over [me]_{830-a slave} . [I]_{830-a slave} concentrate on quenching the raw need to let it go , the pleasure verging to the point of pain . But with [my]_{830-a slave} thoughts in a million places , except [my]_{830-a slave} brain , [I]_{830-a slave} ’m_{[830-a slave]} [a slave]_{830-a slave} to [my]_2342-matt body ’s need . And then [he]_327-jesse pulls out , and [I]_2342-matt ’m left hanging . What ’s [he]_327-jesse doing ? [I]_327-jesse whimper as [my]_327-jesse impending release retreats . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] about to yell at [him]_327-jesse , but then [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_327-jesse finger slide down the centre of [my]_2342-matt backside . [I]_2342-matt tense from top to bottom . Oh no ! ‘ [You]_327-jesse can do this , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse slides [his]_327-jesse fingers down between [my]_2342-matt thighs and into [me]_2342-matt , collecting the wetness and slowly dragging it back up to [my]_2342-matt bum . ‘ Relax , [we]_2665-we ’ll take it slow . ’_[327-jesse] Relax ? [I]_2342-matt ca n’t relax ! [He]_327-jesse circles [my]_2342-matt opening slowly , every muscle in [my]_2342-matt backside clenching , automatically rejecting the invasion . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , relax . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse stresses the words . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] fucking trying . ’ [I]_327-jesse grate . ‘_[327-jesse] Give [me]_2342-matt time , damn it ! ’ [He]_327-jesse can fuck right off if [he]_327-jesse thinks [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] keeping quiet now ! [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_327-jesse laugh softly as [he]_327-jesse takes [his]_327-jesse fingers back down to [my]_2342-matt clit , rolling them around , causing spikes of pleasure to bolt through [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Watch [your]_832-ava mouth . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse warns . [I]_2342-matt focus of taking deep , controlled breaths . ‘ Do n’t [you]_832-ava need some lubricant or something ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt pant . ‘ [You]_832-ava ’re_[832-ava] soaking , [Ava]_832-ava . That ’s enough . [You]_832-ava ’re not very good under instruction , are [you]_832-ava ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse penetrates [my]_2342-matt opening with [his]_327-jesse thumb , and [I]_2342-matt sink [my]_2342-matt teeth into [my]_2342-matt lip . ‘ Relax , [woman]_72-jesus ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Oh God , this is going to hurt , is n’t it ? ’_[327-jesse] ‘ Yes , at first . [You]_832-ava have to relax . Once [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] in , [you]_832-ava ’ll love it , trust [me]_2342-matt . ’ Oh , bloody hell ! [He]_327-jesse continues the massaging of [my]_832-ava opening as [I]_832-ava drop [my]_832-ava head , panting and sweating with nerves . [I]_832-ava feel [his]_327-jesse hand wrap around the nape of [my]_832-ava neck and gently massage at [my]_832-ava tense muscles . As [I]_832-ava give [myself]_832-ava a mental pep talk , [his]_327-jesse hand leaves [my]_832-ava neck and lands [my]_832-ava backside . [He]_327-jesse gently eases [me]_832-ava open until [I]_832-ava feel the moist head of [his]_327-jesse erection nudging at [my]_832-ava opening . Oh , fuck ! ‘_[832-ava] Easy , [lady]_832-ava . Let it happen . ’ [he]_327-jesse murmurs , slowly rolling [his]_327-jesse wetness around [my]_832-ava entrance . Breathe , breathe , breathe . Then [he]_327-jesse advances , the immense pressure on [my]_832-ava opening causing [me]_832-ava to impulsively jolt forward . [His]_327-jesse hand comes up to rest over [my]_832-ava shoulder , holding [me]_832-ava in place , [his]_327-jesse other continuing to guide [himself]_327-jesse into [me]_832-ava . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] physically shaking as the pressure builds and builds . ‘ That ’s it , [Ava]_832-ava . [We]_2667-we ’re_[832-ava] nearly there . ’ [His]_327-jesse voice is jagged and strained , [his]_327-jesse palm wet on [my]_832-ava shoulder as [his]_327-jesse fingers flex . And then [he]_327-jesse surges forward on a strangled growl , breaching [my]_832-ava muscles and sliding deep into [my]_832-ava forbidden place . ‘_[832-ava] Shit ! ’ [I]_832-ava cry . That fucking hurts ! ‘_[832-ava] Oh God , [you]_831-you ’re so tight ! ’_[831-you] [he]_831-you chokes . ‘ Stop fighting , [Ava]_832-ava . Relax ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt pant as [I]_2342-matt ’m thrown into a place between pleasure and agony . The fullness [I]_72-jesus feel is indescribable , the pain great , but the pleasure … Oh God , the pleasure is beyond description and completely unanticipated . The tightness of [my]_72-jesus muscles around [him]_72-jesus has [me]_72-jesus feeling every pulsing vein and rolling ripple of [his]_72-jesus erection . [My]_72-jesus body releases a little of the tension that it ’s built up , and in its place … pure pleasure attacks [me]_72-jesus . ‘_[72-jesus] [Jesus]_72-jesus , that feels good . [I]_2342-matt ’m going to move now , okay ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt nod , inhale a deep breath and firm up [my]_2342-matt grip of the worktop . [His]_72-jesus hand leaves [my]_2342-matt shoulder and trails down [my]_2342-matt back to join [his]_72-jesus other on [my]_2342-matt hips , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t jerk or jolt when [he]_72-jesus grips [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m too busy preparing [myself]_832-ava for what ’s to come . ‘_[832-ava] Real slow , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_72-jesus moans , slowly pulling out of [me]_72-jesus . ‘_[72-jesus] [Jesus]_72-jesus , [Jesse]_327-jesse ! ’ If [he]_72-jesus tells [me]_2342-matt to shut up , [I]_2342-matt ’ll get real angry . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt know . ’ [He]_72-jesus starts working [himself]_72-jesus in and out in slow , measured strokes . [I]_72-jesus ’m_[72-jesus] falling apart under [him]_72-jesus . [I]_2342-matt never imagined this . [I]_2342-matt never thought this would feel anything but smutty and wrong . But it does n’t . [He]_72-jesus ’s making love to [me]_2342-matt , and it feels so good . [I]_2342-matt ’m stunned . The power of [him]_72-jesus claiming [me]_72-jesus has the ache in [my]_72-jesus stomach in knots . One touch of [my]_72-jesus core will have [me]_72-jesus on the ceiling . ‘_[72-jesus] [You]_72-jesus feel amazing , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_72-jesus rumbles deep in [his]_72-jesus throat as [he]_72-jesus drives forward again . ‘_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt could stay here all fucking night , but [I]_2342-matt ’m losing it . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt find [myself]_2342-matt pushing back on to [his]_72-jesus level strokes , inviting [him]_72-jesus to increase [his]_72-jesus pace . The unexpected pleasure is unreal , and [I]_2342-matt ’m fast on [my]_2342-matt way to a furious climax . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] staggered that [I]_2342-matt ’m even doing this . [I]_2342-matt need more . ‘_[2342-matt] Keep going . ’ [I]_832-ava utter the words [I]_832-ava never thought [I]_832-ava would . ‘_[832-ava] Yes , [baby]_832-ava . Are [you]_832-ava close ? ’ ‘_[832-ava] Yes ! ’ [I]_832-ava cry , ramming back onto [him]_72-jesus . [I]_832-ava hear [his]_72-jesus gasps as [he]_72-jesus moves one hand to [my]_832-ava shoulder and the other to stroke [my]_832-ava inside thigh . ‘_[832-ava] Harder ! ’ [I]_832-ava scream . [I]_832-ava need this . ‘_[832-ava] Oh fuck , [Ava]_832-ava ! ’ [he]_2342-matt yells , pounding forward , clamping onto [my]_2342-matt shoulder and cupping [my]_2342-matt mound , [his]_2342-matt finger rolling over [my]_2342-matt pulsating clitoris . [I]_2342-matt throw [my]_2342-matt head back . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m there ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt cry . ‘ Wait ! ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt shouts . [I]_2342-matt turn lightheaded , feeling [his]_2342-matt cock swell and jerk as [he]_2342-matt powers on . [I]_2342-matt ’m delirious on pleasure , and just when [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt might collapse , [he]_2342-matt bellows , ‘_[2342-matt] Now ! ’ And [I]_2342-matt let go . [The room]_{361-the bar} starts spinning and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] lost . [I]_2342-matt collapse forward onto [the bar]_{361-the bar} , [my]_2342-matt arms spread above [my]_2342-matt head , taking [Jesse]_327-jesse with [me]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt ’s a weight , but [I]_2342-matt ’m numb from pleasure . All [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] aware of is [his]_2342-matt hard , wet chest pressing [me]_2342-matt into the granite , [his]_2342-matt hot heavy breaths in [my]_2342-matt hair and [his]_2342-matt pulsating cock still buried deep inside [me]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt spasms above [me]_2342-matt . [My]_2342-matt muscles contract on every beat [I]_2342-matt feel from [him]_2342-matt , draining every last drop of [his]_2342-matt seed , as [he]_2342-matt lazily thrusts the last pieces of [my]_2342-matt orgasm out of [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m floating away . Chapter 11 ‘_[834-you] Are [you]_834-you okay ? ’ [he]_2342-matt whispers in [my]_2342-matt ear . ‘_[2342-matt] Am [I]_2342-matt allowed to speak ? ’ [He]_2342-matt pushes forward and squeezes [my]_2342-matt hip bone , sending [me]_2342-matt on a little jolt across the worktop . ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t be smart . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m well and truly fucked . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt sigh . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , please watch [your]_832-ava mouth . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt cautions . [He]_2342-matt lifts [his]_2342-matt arms and lays them over [mine]_2342-matt , softly stroking up and down . ‘ [I]_2342-matt am , though . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve never been so misused , but it was incredible . ‘ [I]_2342-matt know , but [you]_834-you do n’t have to swear . [I]_2342-matt hate [you]_834-you swearing . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt frown to [myself]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt have to endure [your]_834-you blue language . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [My]_2342-matt language is only blue , [lady]_65-ha , when [you]_834-you make [me]_2342-matt see red . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt sigh . ‘ Okay . ’_[2342-matt] [We]_835-we lay replete for an age , regaining [our]_835-we breath . [I]_2342-matt ’m pinned under [his]_836-he heavy body , splattered on the granite work surface . The coolness under [my]_2342-matt cheek is a welcome sensation as [I]_2342-matt watch [my]_2342-matt hot breath skim the shiny granite , causing it to fog . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] adrift from reality and drowning in a rush of sentiment . [I]_2342-matt ’m depleted , physically and emotionally , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] in even more trouble now . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Hmmm ? ’_[836-he] ‘ How old are [you]_327-jesse ? ’_[836-he] [He]_836-he squeezes [my]_2342-matt arms . ‘ Twenty two , ’_[836-he] [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes to [myself]_2342-matt . If [he]_836-he ’s twenty two , then [I]_2342-matt ’m [Mother Teresa]_{124-mother teresa} reincarnated . [I]_2342-matt smile to [myself]_2342-matt . After what [I]_2342-matt have just partaken in , it ’s not bloody likely . [I]_2342-matt feel [him]_836-he pull away from [me]_2342-matt a fraction , a hollow , empty feeling attacking [me]_2342-matt when [he]_836-he slips out . [He]_836-he leans down , kisses [my]_2342-matt back and slowly separates [us]_2669-us , [his]_836-he skin peeling away from [mine]_2342-matt gradually . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] cold . ‘ Come here . ’_[836-he] [he]_836-he whispers , grasping [my]_2342-matt waist . [I]_2342-matt notice that it ’s not [my]_2342-matt hips . [I]_2342-matt brace [my]_2342-matt flat palm on the granite and lift [myself]_2342-matt with [his]_836-he slow persuasion . Christ , it ’s like taking a plaster off . When [I]_2342-matt ’ve finally separated [my]_2342-matt body from the breakfast bar , [I]_2342-matt turn and face [him]_836-he . [My]_2342-matt eyes widen when [I]_2342-matt see [he]_836-he ’s hard again . Already ? [I]_2342-matt ’m knackered ! [He]_836-he lifts [me]_2342-matt onto the counter and muscles between [my]_2342-matt thighs , picking [my]_2342-matt arms up and draping them over [his]_836-he shoulders before resting [his]_836-he hands on [my]_2342-matt waist . [He]_836-he searches [my]_2342-matt eyes . ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_837-you okay ? ’ [I]_2342-matt smile at [his]_836-he handsome face . Is n’t it a bit late to be asking that ? ‘_[2342-matt] Yes . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Good . ’ [He]_836-he leans in and wraps [his]_836-he arms around [me]_2342-matt tightly , inhaling in [my]_2342-matt neck . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not finished with [you]_837-you yet . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt curl [my]_2342-matt legs around [his]_2342-matt tight waist , squeezing with [my]_2342-matt thighs . ‘ [I]_2342-matt noticed . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt ’s unendurable . It ’s a good job this is casual sex because [I]_2342-matt could n’t deal with this on a full time basis . [I]_2342-matt ’d be walking dead – if walking at all . ‘ [You]_837-you have this affect on [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt tells [me]_2342-matt on a shrug . It ca n’t be just [me]_2342-matt , but [I]_2342-matt ’ll take the compliment . [I]_2342-matt bury [my]_2342-matt face in the side of [his]_2342-matt neck and nuzzle . [He]_2342-matt smells so good . ‘ Are [you]_837-you hungry ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks , pulling back and running [his]_2342-matt knuckles down [my]_2342-matt cheek . [I]_2342-matt ’m not really , even though [I]_2342-matt ’ve not had time to eat all day . [I]_2342-matt bypassed the canapés in favour of champagne , not wanting to get caught with a mouth full of food in case [someone]_587-someone decided that [they]_587-someone wanted a chat at [Lusso]_66-lusso . ‘_[2342-matt] -ish , ’ [I]_2342-matt shrug . ‘_[2342-matt] -ish , ’ [he]_2342-matt mouths , the corner of [his]_2342-matt lips twitching . [His]_2342-matt eyes twinkle , and [I]_2342-matt grin . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_838-my have a cheeky grin , [I]_2342-matt love it . ’ [He]_2342-matt kisses the corner of [my]_838-my mouth . ‘_[838-my] Shit ! ’ As soon as the word falls from [my]_838-my mouth , [I]_838-my wince . [He]_2342-matt leans back , eyes wide . ‘_[838-my] Mouth ! ’ [he]_2342-matt grinds , [his]_2342-matt lips forming a straight line . ‘_[838-my] What ’s the matter ? ’ ‘_[838-my] [I]_2342-matt told [Kate]_2557-kate [I]_2342-matt ’d be [home]_281-home . ’ [I]_2342-matt blurt . [She]_2557-kate has n’t called , or if [she]_2557-kate has [I]_2342-matt ’ve not heard [my]_2342-matt phone . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt better call [her]_2557-kate . [She]_2557-kate needs [[my]_2342-matt car]_{548-the car} to visit [her]_2557-kate Gran in [Yorkshire]_20-yorkshire . ’ Shit ! Fuck , fuck , fuck ! [I]_2557-kate can swear as much as [I]_2557-kate like in [my]_2557-kate head . Damn it . [[My]_2557-kate car]_{548-the car} ’s at [Lusso]_66-lusso and [I]_2557-kate ’ve had too much champagne to collect it now . Maybe [Kate]_2557-kate can get it in the morning with the spare keys ? No , [she]_2557-kate ca n’t . The spare keys are at [my]_2557-kate old flat with [Matt]_2342-matt . Oh , for [God]_68-god ’s sake ! [I]_2557-kate must get round there to collect [my]_2557-kate stuff . [I]_2557-kate ’ll have to get [a taxi]_{452-a taxi} back to [Kate]_2557-kate ’s to give [her]_2557-kate [my]_2557-kate keys . [She]_2557-kate can get [the car]_{548-the car} from [Lusso]_66-lusso in the morning . [I]_2557-kate wriggle to free [myself]_2557-kate , and [he]_2672-he begrudgingly lets go on a frown . Retrieving [my]_2557-kate bag from by the front door , [I]_2557-kate rummage through , finding [my]_2557-kate phone to text [Kate]_2557-kate and explain the plan , adding a P.S on the end to inform [her]_2557-kate that there ’s [no girlfriend]_{2673-no girlfriend} . [I]_2557-kate pull [my]_2557-kate jeans out of [my]_2557-kate overnight bag . ‘_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to go . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Go ? ’ [he]_2672-he booms . [I]_2342-matt flinch . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve got one set of car keys and [Kate]_2557-kate needs [them]_841-them . ’ [I]_2557-kate explain . [I]_2557-kate shake [my]_2557-kate jeans out . [I]_2557-kate wo n’t bother with underwear , [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] only flying [home]_281-home . [I]_2342-matt thrust one leg into [my]_2342-matt jeans and hop around to position [myself]_2342-matt for the next leg . [He]_843-his ’s moving so fast , [I]_2342-matt do n’t have time to catch the look on [his]_843-his face . ‘ Oh ! ’_[843-his] [I]_2342-matt yelp as [he]_843-his propels [me]_2342-matt into the air and over [his]_843-his shoulder . ‘ What are [you]_327-jesse doing ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m staring straight at [his]_843-his firm , tanned arse as [he]_843-his turns , without a word , and starts stalking across [the apartment]_{593-the apartment} . ‘_[2342-matt] Shit ! [Jesse]_327-jesse , put [me]_2342-matt down ! ’ [He]_843-his yanks [my]_327-jesse jeans off of the one leg [I]_327-jesse managed to get them on , throws them aside and slaps [my]_327-jesse arse . ‘_[327-jesse] Ouch ! ’ ‘_[327-jesse] Mouth ! ’ [I]_327-jesse hear the door hit plaster , after being kicked open , and [we]_2675-we ’re_[327-jesse] in [a bedroom]_{844-a bedroom} . [I]_2342-matt notice it ’s all black and white in here too . What the hell is [he]_843-his doing ? Has n’t [he]_843-his had enough of [me]_2342-matt ? Have [I]_2342-matt had enough of [him]_843-his ? [You]_845-you would think so . [I]_2342-matt ’m hauled off of [his]_843-his shoulder , with minimal effort , and flying through the air before landing in [a sea of luxurious , white cotton]_{2676-a sea of luxurious , white cotton} . The first thing [I]_2342-matt notice is that it smells divine . It smells like [him]_843-his – all fresh water and yummy . [I]_2342-matt do n’t have time to get over [my]_2342-matt disorientation . [He]_843-his ’s between [my]_2342-matt thighs in a nanosecond , [his]_843-his erection nudging at [my]_2342-matt opening , [his]_843-his hands pinning [my]_2342-matt wrists on either side of [my]_2342-matt head . [His]_843-his arms are ram - rod straight , supporting [his]_843-his upper body . [Jesus]_72-jesus , [the man]_2342-matt can move fast . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] still not quite sure where [I]_2342-matt am and how [I]_2342-matt got here . [I]_2342-matt do , however , recognise that coiling anticipation lingering deep inside [me]_2342-matt . Clearly , [I]_2342-matt ’ve not had enough of [him]_2342-matt . The slippery head of [his]_2342-matt arousal tickles [my]_2342-matt entrance , having [my]_2342-matt heart sprinting in [my]_2342-matt chest , while [I]_2342-matt focus on [his]_2342-matt eyes above [mine]_2342-matt , gazing down at [me]_2342-matt with a mixture of anger and shock . [He]_2342-matt ’s mad ? ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] not fucking going anywhere . ’ [he]_2342-matt growls , shifting [his]_2342-matt hips and plunging full length into [me]_2342-matt , stretching [me]_2342-matt to the most incredible level . [We]_2677-we both yell in unison at the penetration . [He]_2342-matt ’s so deep , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] instantly griping onto every inch of [him]_2342-matt inside [me]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt holds still for a few seconds , [his]_2342-matt head hanging and [his]_2342-matt mouth lax . All thoughts of [car]_846-car collecting have made way for the anticipation of what ’s to come . [I]_2342-matt really ca n’t get enough of [him]_2342-matt . Once [he]_2342-matt ’s gathered [himself]_2342-matt together , [he]_2342-matt lifts [his]_2342-matt gaze to [mine]_2342-matt and slowly withdraws before ramming straight back in on a loud yell . [I]_2342-matt throw [my]_2342-matt head back on a scream . ‘ Look at [me]_2342-matt ! ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt voice is a carnal growl , not to be ignored . [I]_2342-matt return [my]_2342-matt eyes to [his]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt holds [himself]_2342-matt deep inside [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m panting like a dehydrated dog . ‘_[2342-matt] That ’s better . Now , do [you]_847-you need a reminder ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks . A reminder ? If [he]_2342-matt means a reminder of how good [he]_2342-matt feels inside [me]_2342-matt , then the answer is yes ! [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt hips to try and get some contact . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] raging and burning like a wanton hussy . [He]_2342-matt stares down at [me]_2342-matt expectantly . ‘ Answer the question , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Please . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt breathe . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [I]_2342-matt ’m begging for [him]_2342-matt . Well , [I]_848-i can , actually . [He]_2342-matt can do what [he]_2342-matt likes to [me]_848-i , demand anything . [He]_2342-matt smiles a knowing , cocky smile , then [he]_2342-matt lets rip , powering forward . ‘_[848-i] [Your]_848-i mine , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_2342-matt grunts . [I]_848-i shut [my]_848-i eyes on a yell of pleasure . ‘_[848-i] Open [your]_848-i fucking eyes ! ’ Oh , [I]_72-jesus do n’t have the energy . [I]_72-jesus drag them open as [he]_2342-matt pounds in and out at an inexcusably hard and forceful pace . It ’s amazing . [Our]_2678-our sweat ridden bodies are colliding and [my]_72-jesus breath hitching as [I]_72-jesus try to control the build - up of pressure that ’s gathering in [my]_72-jesus groin . Even amid the disorder of [our]_2678-our frantic body movements , [his]_2342-matt eyes never stray from [mine]_72-jesus . [I]_72-jesus wrap [my]_72-jesus legs around [his]_2342-matt waist , tilting [my]_72-jesus hips slightly , sending [him]_2342-matt deeper and [my]_72-jesus bordering detonation closer . The coils of pleasure are tightening to breaking point with [his]_2342-matt persistent charging forward . [I]_72-jesus do n’t know what to do with [myself]_72-jesus . ‘_[72-jesus] [Jesus]_72-jesus , [Ava]_832-ava . [You]_72-jesus okay ? ’ [He]_2342-matt forces the words from [his]_2342-matt mouth between gruff shouts . [My]_72-jesus wrists are freed from [his]_2342-matt heavy grip , and [I]_72-jesus feel the thud of [his]_2342-matt fists punching into the mattress . ‘_[72-jesus] Do n’t stop ! ’ [I]_72-jesus scream , flinging [my]_72-jesus hands up to grab [his]_2342-matt slippery biceps . [I]_72-jesus dig [my]_72-jesus nails in to try and find some grip , prompting [him]_2342-matt to yell some more and pound harder . [I]_72-jesus throw [my]_72-jesus head back in despair . The power and control [he]_2342-matt has is beyond comprehension . ‘_[72-jesus] Damn it , [Ava]_832-ava . Look at [me]_2342-matt ! ’ [My]_327-jesse head falls back down and [our]_2679-our eyes meet . [His]_2342-matt pupils are huge and glazed , nearly cancelling out the greenness of [his]_2342-matt stare . [I]_327-jesse notice [his]_2342-matt frown deepen and sweat dripping down [his]_2342-matt temples . Shifting [my]_327-jesse hands to the back of [his]_2342-matt head , [I]_327-jesse fist [my]_327-jesse hands in [his]_2342-matt saturated hair , pulling [his]_2342-matt head down so [our]_2679-our lips collide and [our]_2679-our tongues clash , while [he]_2342-matt continues [his]_2342-matt punishing blows . [I]_327-jesse ca n’t hold back any more . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , [I]_2342-matt ’m going . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt pant against [his]_327-jesse lips . The tips of [my]_2342-matt fingers are numb from [my]_2342-matt stupidly fierce grasp of [him]_327-jesse . ‘ Fuck ! Together , okay ? ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse grates through [his]_327-jesse clenched teeth , driving harder a few more body blowing , mind numbing times , before yelling , ‘ Now ! ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt let it go – all of the pent up heaviness in [my]_2342-matt groin , the weight in [my]_2342-matt lungs and the fire in [my]_2342-matt belly . It all comes out on a massive rush of pressure and a very loud scream . ‘ Jesus Christ ! ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse cries , thrusting one last , powerful time before stilling over [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_327-jesse scorching release shoot deep inside [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt sag all around [him]_327-jesse , closing [my]_2342-matt eyes in exhaustion . [He]_327-jesse collapses to [his]_327-jesse forearms , breathless and soaking wet , as [he]_327-jesse withdraws fractionally , pushing deep and high a few more times in long , measured strokes . [My]_2342-matt muscles contract around [him]_327-jesse , milking every last bit of [his]_327-jesse release . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t think straight . [This man]_327-jesse has given [me]_2342-matt four , incomprehensibly , powerful orgasms in less than four hours . That ’s one an hour ! [I]_2342-matt ’m never going to be able to walk tomorrow . [I]_2342-matt lay there sated and limp , panting and aching from the exertion . [My]_2342-matt eyes are growing heavy . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_327-jesse forehead rest against [mine]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt open [my]_2342-matt eyes to see that [his]_327-jesse are clenched shut . [I]_2342-matt wriggle under [him]_327-jesse to get [his]_327-jesse attention , feeling [his]_327-jesse semi erection twitch inside [me]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse drags is eyes open , lifting [his]_327-jesse head so [he]_327-jesse can focus on [me]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse searches [my]_2342-matt face , settling on [my]_2342-matt mouth , and leans down to plant the gentlest kiss on [my]_2342-matt abused lips . [I]_2342-matt sigh as [he]_327-jesse drops [his]_327-jesse torso down to lay flush on [my]_2342-matt body , [his]_327-jesse hard chest heavy , but so wanted . [I]_2342-matt welcome the burden and reach around to faintly trace [my]_2342-matt fingers over [his]_327-jesse back as [I]_2342-matt rest [my]_2342-matt chin on [his]_327-jesse shoulder and stare up at the ceiling . [He]_327-jesse shivers lightly and buries [his]_327-jesse face in [my]_2342-matt neck , resting [his]_327-jesse lips against [my]_2342-matt pulsing vein . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never felt so content in all of [my]_2342-matt life . [I]_2342-matt know it ’s only sex and the after effects , but this is the finest feeling in [the world]_{516-the world} . It has to be . [This man]_2342-matt ’s fierceness is addictive , [his]_2342-matt tenderness sweet and [his]_2342-matt body beyond perfection . [He]_2342-matt ’s the perfect mix of maleness . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] in some serious deep , deep shit . [I]_2342-matt lay , still tracing [my]_2342-matt finger across [his]_2342-matt back , [my]_2342-matt lids so heavy . [His]_2342-matt weight is a burden and [my]_2342-matt finger tips are numb from the friction of stroking [him]_2342-matt . [His]_2342-matt breathing is steady and even against [my]_2342-matt neck . [He]_2342-matt ’s asleep , and [I]_2342-matt ’m trapped under [his]_2342-matt solid body . [I]_2342-matt stop caressing [his]_2342-matt back and [he]_2342-matt shifts [his]_2342-matt hips , slowly pulling out of [me]_2342-matt , leaving a massive empty void . The feeling is unwelcome , and leaves [me]_2342-matt wishing [I]_2342-matt had of sustained [his]_2342-matt weight for longer – maybe forever . [He]_2342-matt pushes [himself]_2342-matt up on [his]_2342-matt elbows and stares down at [me]_2342-matt . Picking up a loose piece of [my]_2342-matt hair , [he]_2342-matt studies the shiny , mahogany lock , watching as [he]_2342-matt twirls it around [his]_2342-matt index finger and thumb . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_849-he sent [me]_2342-matt to sleep . ’ [His]_2342-matt voice is rough . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt did . ’ ‘_[849-he] [You]_849-he ’re too beautiful . ’_[849-he] [he]_849-he whispers , returning [his]_849-he gaze to [mine]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt stare into [his]_849-he sleepy eyes and reach up to run [my]_2342-matt thumb across [his]_849-he frown line , fanning [my]_2342-matt fingers in [his]_849-he hair . ‘ So are [you]_849-he . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say softly . [He]_849-he really is very beautiful . [He]_849-he offers a half smile , lowers [his]_849-he head and nuzzles between [my]_2342-matt breasts . ‘ Consider [yourself]_849-he reminded , [lady]_65-ha . ’_[65-ha] [Ha]_65-ha ! [I]_2342-matt knew it . It was a reminder fuck after the sense fuck failed . Well , it did n’t fail . Although , [I]_2342-matt would be more inclined to say that [he]_849-he fucked [me]_2342-matt senseless . Slowly peeling [himself]_849-he away from [my]_2342-matt body , [he]_849-he rests back on [his]_849-he heels . The cold rush of air that instantly invades [me]_2342-matt has [me]_2342-matt wanting to yank [him]_849-he back down . Yep , [I]_2342-matt ’ve been reminded all right . [He]_849-he offers [me]_2342-matt both of [his]_849-he hands and [I]_2342-matt take them , letting [him]_849-he pull [me]_2342-matt up to straddle [his]_849-he thighs . Wrapping one arm around [my]_2342-matt back , [he]_849-he cradles [me]_2342-matt to [him]_849-he as [he]_849-he turns , maneuvering [his]_849-he body so [he]_849-he ’s sitting up with [his]_849-he back resting against the headboard , [me]_2342-matt facing [him]_849-he . [He]_849-he rests [his]_849-he hands on [my]_2342-matt waist and circles [his]_849-he thumbs on [my]_2342-matt hips bones . It triggers a shudder to race through [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt throw [my]_2342-matt hands over [his]_849-he to still [his]_849-he movements . [He]_849-he smirks at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Spend the day with [me]_849-he tomorrow . ’_[849-he] Pardon ? [I]_2342-matt thought this was just sex ? Maybe [he]_849-he wants to spend all day in bed with [me]_2342-matt . [Christ]_72-jesus , after tonight , [I]_2342-matt need a week to recover - maybe longer . [I]_2342-matt am , quite literally , fucked . ‘ [I]_2342-matt have things planned . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say warily . [I]_2342-matt ’m being sensible here . [I]_2342-matt need to keep it casual , or maybe not see [him]_849-he again at all . [He]_849-he ’s the epitome of [bad boy]_{2681-bad boy} , if slightly older . [He]_849-he ’s hazardous , enigmatic and completely addictive . [I]_2342-matt know all of this , but [I]_2342-matt fear [I]_2342-matt might be hooked . ‘_[2342-matt] What things ? ’ [he]_849-he asks on a slight pout . [I]_2342-matt do n’t actually have things planned . [I]_2342-matt have one thing planned – to sort [[my]_2342-matt room]_{2682-my room} out . It ’s a shocker , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] restricted on space and overrun with personal effects . [I]_2342-matt should probably start looking for alternative arrangements , but [I]_2342-matt ’m having such fun with [Kate]_2557-kate . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt need to sort [my]_2342-matt stuff out . ’ [I]_2342-matt clamp [my]_2342-matt hands down when [I]_2342-matt feel [him]_2342-matt try to move [his]_2342-matt thumbs again . ‘_[2342-matt] What stuff ? ’ [He]_2342-matt looks confused . ‘_[2557-kate] [[Kate]_2557-kate ’s place]_850-there is [temporary accommodation]_850-there . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been [there]_850-there for four weeks , everything is everywhere . [I]_2342-matt need to sort it out for when [I]_2342-matt get [[my]_2342-matt own place]_850-there . ’ ‘_[851-you] Where were [you]_851-you four weeks ago ? ’ ‘_[851-you] With [Matt]_2342-matt . ’ [He]_2342-matt recoils . ‘_[851-you] Who the fuck is [Matt]_2342-matt ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Calm down . [He]_2342-matt ’s [[my]_2342-matt ex - boyfriend]_{852-my ex - boyfriend} . ’ ‘_{[852-my ex - boyfriend]} [Ex]_{852-my ex - boyfriend} ? ’ ‘_{[852-my ex - boyfriend]} Yes , Ex . ’ [I]_327-jesse confirm , seeing a wave of relief travel across [his]_2342-matt face . What ’s the matter with [him]_2342-matt ? ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , [I]_2342-matt need to get [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} . ’ [I]_327-jesse press . [I]_327-jesse ca n’t leave [Kate]_2557-kate to drive [Margo]_1052-margo all the way to [Yorkshire]_20-yorkshire . [She]_2557-kate rattles and shakes all over [the place]_{308-the place} ; [Kate]_2557-kate will have piles by the time [she]_2557-kate gets there . [She]_2557-kate has to secure [her]_2557-kate cakes in boxes with polystyrene and straps , and reduce [her]_2557-kate speed to five miles an hour over speed humps . ‘_[327-jesse] Do n’t worry . [I]_2342-matt ’ll take [you]_327-jesse to get it in the morning . ’ Oh , so [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] staying then ? ‘ [She]_2557-kate ’s leaving at eight - ish . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse might not be so keen if [I]_2342-matt ’m dragging [him]_327-jesse out of bed at the crack of dawn on a Saturday . ‘_[2342-matt] -ish . ’ [he]_327-jesse mouths on a smirk . [I]_2342-matt mirror [his]_327-jesse smirk , gripping [his]_327-jesse hands and moving them up to [my]_2342-matt waist before [I]_2342-matt reach up to [my]_2342-matt head , feeling for the grips keeping [my]_2342-matt hair in place . [They]_2684-they ’re_[2342-matt] giving [me]_2342-matt a headache . [I]_2342-matt start pulling at them , and [he]_327-jesse looks up at [me]_2342-matt with narrowed eyes . [I]_2342-matt pause . ‘ What ? ’_[327-jesse] ‘ [You]_2685-you refuse to spend the day with [me]_327-jesse , and then thrust those fabulous boobs in [my]_327-jesse face . That ’s not playing fair , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse reaches up and flicks a nipple , causing it to immediately pucker into a tight bud . [I]_2342-matt yelp , grabbing [my]_2342-matt breast . ‘ Hey ! [I]_2342-matt need to take [my]_2342-matt grips out . [They]_2684-they ’re_[2342-matt] digging into [my]_2342-matt head . ’ [I]_2342-matt remove a grip and pop it in [my]_2342-matt mouth . [He]_327-jesse watches [me]_2342-matt with interest , then leans up , takes the grip with [his]_327-jesse teeth and spits it out on the bed . [His]_327-jesse face plummets , nestling between [my]_2342-matt boobs . [I]_2342-matt smile to [myself]_2342-matt and smooth [my]_2342-matt hands through [his]_327-jesse damp hair , ignoring the voice in [my]_2342-matt head telling [me]_2342-matt not to get too contented . [He]_2342-matt breathes in deeply before pulling back and planting a soft kiss on each nipple . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] turned around in [his]_2342-matt lap . ‘ Let [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt raises [his]_2342-matt knees so [I]_2342-matt ’m cradled between them , [my]_2342-matt forearms resting on [his]_2342-matt knee caps . [He]_2342-matt begins running [his]_2342-matt fingers through [my]_2342-matt hair to locate the grips , pulling them out and handing them over [my]_2342-matt shoulder for [me]_2342-matt to take . ‘_[2342-matt] How many have [you]_854-you got in here ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks as [he]_2342-matt massages [my]_2342-matt scalp and finds another stray grip . ‘_[2342-matt] A few , ’ [I]_2342-matt take the grip . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt have a lot of hair to keep up . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] A few hundred ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks doubtfully . ‘_[854-you] [You]_854-you ’re like a voodoo doll . There , [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt got them all . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt takes the grips from [my]_2342-matt hand and puts them on the bedside table before sliding [his]_2342-matt hands over [my]_2342-matt shoulders and pulling [me]_2342-matt back so [I]_2342-matt ’m against [his]_2342-matt chest , the outside of [my]_2342-matt bent legs resting against the insides of [his]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt ’s so comfortable , and [my]_2342-matt eyes are incredibly heavy . [I]_2342-matt ’ve had a stupidly busy day , and [I]_2342-matt ’ve just finished it off on a marathon of sex with [this captivating man that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] propped up against]_2342-matt . Maybe [I]_2342-matt should go now . It will eradicate the risk of the morning awkwardness that ’s guaranteed to descend on [us]_855-us come dawn . But then [I]_2342-matt feel [him]_2342-matt wrap [his]_2342-matt forearms around [my]_2342-matt upper chest and [my]_2342-matt head automatically rolls back against [his]_2342-matt shoulder . [I]_2342-matt ’m so comfortable and so sleepy , [I‘m]_2342-matt not going anywhere . With [him]_2342-matt breathing steadily in [my]_2342-matt ear and planting random kisses every now and then in [my]_2342-matt hair , it ’s not long before [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] hypnotised by the sound of [his]_2342-matt steady breaths and [my]_2342-matt eyelids are heavy . [I]_2342-matt reach down and start stroking the outside of [his]_2342-matt legs . ‘ How old are [you]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mumble , feeling [myself]_2342-matt drifting off . [His]_2342-matt chest jolts a little , indicating [his]_2342-matt quiet laugh . ‘ Twenty three . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt sleepily snort [my]_2342-matt disbelief , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t have the energy to challenge [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m [a slave]_{830-a slave} to sleep and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] gone . Chapter 12 [I]_2342-matt wake up in the exact same position that [I]_2342-matt fell asleep in , except [the duvet]_{856-the duvet} has been pulled up over [my]_2342-matt waist . [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s arms are still wrapped around [my]_2342-matt upper chest , [my]_2342-matt hands resting on [his]_327-jesse forearms . The pungent scent of sex is in the air . [I]_2342-matt need a wee . [I]_2342-matt scan [the room]_{2350-the room} , looking for a clock . What time is it ? [I]_2342-matt hear [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s soft , level breathing in [my]_2342-matt ear . [I]_2342-matt ’m reluctant to move and wake [him]_2342-matt , but [I]_2342-matt really need the loo . And [I]_2342-matt could leave before [he]_2342-matt wakes up and kicks [me]_2342-matt out . [I]_2342-matt set about gently peeling [his]_2342-matt arms away from [my]_2342-matt sticky body . [He]_2342-matt moans a few times in [his]_2342-matt sleep , and [I]_2342-matt smile to [myself]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] surprised at [my]_2342-matt lack of regret . [I]_2342-matt ’ve woken with no feelings of remorse or mortification , whatsoever . [This man]_327-jesse is dangerous to [my]_2342-matt hearts health , [I]_2342-matt realise that , but there ’s something about [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt should be repulsed by [his]_327-jesse persistence , but [I]_2342-matt ’m not . [I]_2342-matt ’ve no regrets , at all . But [I]_2342-matt also have no desire to outstay [my]_2342-matt welcome . Oh no , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] definitely keeping the upper hand here . Just when [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt ’ve made good progress , [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_327-jesse arms clamp around [me]_2342-matt like a vice , effectively immobilising [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Do n’t even think about it , [lady]_2342-matt . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse growls , [his]_327-jesse voice raspy with sleep . [I]_2342-matt grip [his]_327-jesse forearms with [my]_2342-matt hands , trying to loosen [his]_327-jesse grip of [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt need to use [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Tough . Hold onto it . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] comfy . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not letting go of [you]_2342-matt . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse states it as a fact , nudging [my]_2342-matt hand away with a flick of [his]_327-jesse forearm while maintaining [his]_327-jesse hold on [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt flop [my]_2342-matt head back against [his]_327-jesse shoulder in exasperation . [His]_327-jesse lips turn into [my]_2342-matt cheek , kissing it sweetly , [his]_327-jesse overnight stubble grazing [me]_2342-matt . It feels good , but it was n’t the morning reaction [I]_2342-matt was expecting . Once [I]_2342-matt feel [he]_327-jesse ’s relaxed [his]_327-jesse grip slightly and is busy nuzzling [my]_2342-matt cheek , [I]_2342-matt make [my]_2342-matt move , but no sooner have [I]_2342-matt tensed [my]_2342-matt muscles to make [my]_2342-matt escape , [I]_2342-matt ’m flipped onto [my]_2342-matt back , [my]_2342-matt thighs parted and [my]_2342-matt wrists pinned on either side of [my]_2342-matt head . [He]_327-jesse looks down at [me]_2342-matt , [his]_327-jesse eyes bright and skipping with enjoyment . Oh yes , [he]_327-jesse ’s deeply satisfied with [himself]_327-jesse , and [he]_327-jesse looks bloody glorious , with [his]_327-jesse disheveled hair and dark blonde stubble . [His]_327-jesse morning erection is prodding at [my]_2342-matt willing opening , seeking entrance . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] defenseless . [My]_2342-matt body responds to [him]_2342-matt without [me]_2342-matt even thinking , and the pain in [my]_2342-matt bladder is soon replaced by a distressed ache in [my]_2342-matt groin , [my]_2342-matt heart somewhere between [my]_2342-matt breast bone and [my]_2342-matt throat . [His]_2342-matt daybreak smell is a mixture of clean sweat and that heady fresh water scent [I]_2342-matt love so much . [I]_2342-matt ’m high on it and not ignorant to the fact that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] breathless . [He]_2342-matt must think [I]_2342-matt ’m so easy . Well , [I]_2342-matt am ... with [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt rubs [his]_2342-matt nose over [mine]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Sleep well ? ’ [He]_2342-matt wants a chat now ? [Sparks]_125-sparks are flying off all over [the place]_{308-the place} down below and [he]_2342-matt wants to chat ? ‘_[2342-matt] Very . ’ [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt hips suggestively . [His]_2342-matt eyebrows rise , [his]_2342-matt lips twitch . ‘_[2342-matt] [Me]_2342-matt too , ’ [I]_2342-matt wait , uncomplaining , for [him]_2342-matt to lower [his]_2342-matt face to [mine]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt wants to do this slowly , and that ’s fine by [me]_2342-matt . If [he]_2342-matt would just hurry up ! [He]_2342-matt watches [me]_2342-matt closely as [he]_2342-matt slowly drops [his]_2342-matt face to [mine]_2342-matt , and when [his]_2342-matt lush lips finally brush over [mine]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt moan , opening [my]_2342-matt mouth invitingly . [I]_2342-matt involuntarily tremble when [he]_2342-matt skims [his]_2342-matt tongue gently across [mine]_2342-matt , taking [his]_2342-matt time , slowly seducing [my]_2342-matt mouth and pulling back every so often to kiss [my]_2342-matt lips gently before [he]_2342-matt resumes exploring . Oh , [I]_2342-matt like gentle Jesse very much . This is a million miles away from the dominant sex Lord [I]_2342-matt was faced with yesterday . When [he]_2342-matt ’s happy [he]_2342-matt ’s got [me]_2342-matt enthralled , [he]_2342-matt releases [my]_2342-matt wrists and leisurely strokes down the side of [my]_2342-matt body with the tip of [his]_2342-matt index finger . It ’s enough to have [me]_2342-matt convulsing and rolling [my]_2342-matt hips as the pressure in [my]_2342-matt tummy spirals down to [my]_2342-matt core . [His]_2342-matt touch is addictive , [he]_2342-matt is addictive . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] totally addicted . [I]_2342-matt reach around to seize [his]_2342-matt rock - solid arse in [my]_2342-matt palms , and apply a little pressure , deliberately pressing [his]_2342-matt hips into [mine]_2342-matt . [We]_859-we both whimper in harmony against [each other]_{606-each other} ’s mouths . ‘ [I]_2342-matt completely lose [myself]_2342-matt in [you]_2342-matt , [lady]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt mumbles against [my]_2342-matt lips . [He]_2342-matt pulls away , watching [my]_2342-matt face as [he]_2342-matt sinks slowly and purposely into [me]_2342-matt , inch by perfect inch , sending [my]_2342-matt hands flying to [his]_2342-matt back and [my]_2342-matt eyes squeezing shut . [I]_2342-matt ’m full to the hilt . [He]_2342-matt remains motionless , letting [me]_2342-matt adjust around [him]_2342-matt , [his]_2342-matt back tense , [his]_2342-matt breathing shallow . [I]_2342-matt know it must be taking everything out of [him]_2342-matt to be so still . ‘_[2342-matt] Look at [me]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_2342-matt whispers . [I]_861-he peel [my]_861-he eyes open , immediately finding [his]_2342-matt . [His]_2342-matt face confirms [my]_861-he thoughts . [His]_2342-matt jaw is tense , [his]_2342-matt light frown line deeper than usual , and [his]_2342-matt green eyes are blazing . [I]_861-he roll [my]_861-he hips a fraction to signal [I]_861-he ’m_[861-he] okay , and on [my]_2342-matt invitation , [he]_861-he slowly draws back until [I]_2342-matt ’m sure [he]_861-he ’s going to pull out , but then , bit by bit , [he]_861-he plunges straight back in to the deepest part of [me]_861-he – in and out , in and out . ‘_[861-he] Hmmm . ’ [I]_2342-matt moan on a long exhale . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt love sleepy sex with [you]_2342-matt . ’ [he]_861-he breathes . The deliberate , measured strokes are playing havoc with [my]_2342-matt self - control , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] pushing [my]_2342-matt hips up to meet [his]_861-he penetrations , sending [him]_861-he deeper and [me]_2342-matt higher . The feeling is extraordinary . [I]_2342-matt ’m not going to be long if [he]_861-he keeps this up . ‘_[2342-matt] Is that good , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [he]_861-he asks quietly . [He]_861-he knows it is . [His]_861-he gaze is still locked on [mine]_2342-matt , and [I]_832-ava surprise [myself]_832-ava that [I]_832-ava can maintain the intimacy . [I]_832-ava find it natural , with none of the expected awkwardness , discomfort or uneasiness . It ’s like [we]_2689-we ’re_[832-ava] supposed to be this way . How stupid . ‘ Yes . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt breathe . ‘ Faster ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No , just like this , please , just stay like this . ’_[327-jesse] This is just perfect . The hard , powerful and commanding [Jesse]_327-jesse is amazing , but right now , this is absolutely perfect . [His]_327-jesse eyes swim as [he]_327-jesse regards [me]_2342-matt , continuing [his]_327-jesse measured dives in and out of [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m on the edge . [I]_2342-matt want [him]_327-jesse to kiss [me]_2342-matt , but [he]_327-jesse seems content with just looking at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt link [my]_2342-matt legs around [his]_327-jesse lower back and run [my]_2342-matt hands up and down [his]_327-jesse arms in light , feathery strokes . On a slow withdraw , [he]_327-jesse pauses , momentarily appearing to gather [himself]_327-jesse , [his]_327-jesse eyes probing [mine]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Enough of the sleepy sex . ’ [he]_327-jesse murmurs as [he]_327-jesse surges forward , thrashing [me]_2342-matt in the deepest recesses of [my]_2342-matt body , not giving [me]_2342-matt a moment to adjust . [He]_327-jesse cries out and retreats before repeating the delectable move again and again , slowly withdrawing and striking hard . The pleasure washes over [me]_2342-matt like an aggressive storm , sending [my]_2342-matt mind into orbit . [His]_327-jesse drives are controlled and exact . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] reaching [my]_2342-matt limit . [I]_2342-matt fist [my]_2342-matt hands in is hair , pulling [his]_327-jesse lips down to [mine]_2342-matt , running [my]_2342-matt tongue over [his]_327-jesse bottom lip and biting it lightly , letting it drag through [my]_2342-matt teeth as [I]_2342-matt pull away . [He]_327-jesse bursts forward again , [his]_327-jesse face tense as [he]_327-jesse finds [my]_2342-matt lips and kisses [me]_2342-matt passionately . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] never letting [you]_863-you go . ’ [he]_327-jesse informs [me]_327-jesse around [our]_2690-our kiss . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] so overwhelmed . [He]_327-jesse ’s the most potent aphrodisiac to [me]_2342-matt . Unfamiliar feelings are flooding [my]_2342-matt mind and heart for [this man]_327-jesse . ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t want [you]_863-you to . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt reply against [his]_327-jesse lips . Something has just landed in [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt ’m confused by it all . [He]_327-jesse freezes suddenly , stopping the rhythmic drives that had [me]_2342-matt set to disintegrate in [his]_327-jesse arms . [I]_2342-matt wince at the lack of movement , [my]_2342-matt orgasm lying in limbo . [He]_327-jesse ’s still buried balls deep inside [me]_2342-matt as [he]_327-jesse pulls [his]_327-jesse head up and looks at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] snapped out of [my]_2342-matt confusing thoughts immediately by the look of displeasure on [his]_327-jesse face . Crap , wrong thing to say ? [I]_2342-matt got caught up in the moment , that ’s all . [I]_2342-matt look away from [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt ’ve ruined it . ‘ Look at [me]_327-jesse now , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse demands , and [I]_2342-matt reluctantly return [my]_2342-matt eyes to [his]_327-jesse , finding [his]_327-jesse face has softened slightly . ‘ [We]_2691-we ’re_[864-you] going to have this conversation when [you]_864-you ’re sound minded and not crazy with lust . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse draws back to the very tip of [his]_327-jesse thick erection and hovers over [me]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse ’s right , [I]_2342-matt ’m not sound minded when [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] around [him]_327-jesse , especially when [he]_327-jesse has [me]_2342-matt like this . [He]_327-jesse cripples [me]_2342-matt with pleasure , and now [he]_327-jesse ’s got [me]_2342-matt saying crazy shit . [His]_327-jesse tongue sweeps [his]_327-jesse bottom lip and [he]_327-jesse pants through parted lips as [he]_327-jesse pushes forward , dragging [my]_2342-matt dormant orgasm back to life . [My]_2342-matt skin blazes as [he]_327-jesse pumps slow and hard , and as deep as [he]_327-jesse can get . Smoothing [my]_2342-matt palms through [his]_327-jesse hair , [I]_2342-matt pull [him]_327-jesse back down to [my]_2342-matt lips and devour [him]_327-jesse , while [he]_327-jesse continues with [his]_327-jesse deliberate drives , pushing [me]_2342-matt closer and closer to yet another orgasmic orgasm . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] going to come , ’ [he]_327-jesse mumbles . ‘_[327-jesse] Come with [me]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . Give it to [me]_2342-matt . ’ And with three more strikes , [my]_832-ava mind goes blank and fireworks start exploding in [my]_832-ava head . [I]_832-ava burst beneath [him]_327-jesse on a loud cry . ‘_[832-ava] That ’s it , [baby]_832-ava . ’ [He]_327-jesse strains the words , joining [me]_832-ava in [my]_832-ava pleasure as [I]_832-ava rein in [my]_832-ava shouts , and moan , long and low . [His]_327-jesse hardness expands , jerking within [me]_832-ava , before releasing round after round of [his]_327-jesse hot , wet seed deep inside [me]_832-ava . [He]_327-jesse collapses on top of [me]_832-ava , pushing [his]_327-jesse hips hard against [me]_832-ava , ensuring [he]_327-jesse empties every last bit of [himself]_327-jesse . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] obliterated . [We]_865-we both lay entangled , panting and struggling for breath . ‘ [I]_866-he do n’t know what to say , ’_[866-he] [he]_866-he whispers against [my]_2342-matt ear . [I]_2342-matt ’m only just cognitive , still recovering from [my]_2342-matt orgasm , but [I]_2342-matt heard that loud and clear , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not quite sure what to make of it . [I]_2342-matt think [we]_865-we ’ve both said too much already . [My]_2342-matt own little declaration has made [me]_2342-matt a bit uncomfortable . That ’s what happens when [you]_867-you get caught up in the moment . Lust , want and passion take over , and before [you]_867-you know it , ridiculous words are flying out of [your]_867-you mouth . After a few minutes silence , [I]_2342-matt ’m beyond uncomfortable , so [I]_2342-matt shuffle a bit under [him]_866-he . ‘_[2342-matt] Can [I]_2342-matt use [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} now ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . [He]_866-he sighs , long and deliberately , so wanting [me]_2342-matt to be aware of [his]_866-he frustration . [I]_2342-matt ’ve no idea what [he]_866-he ’s frustrated about , though . [He]_866-he ’s had [me]_2342-matt plenty . [He]_866-he slides out and heaves [himself]_866-he off of [me]_2342-matt , making a huge , exaggerated effort of flopping back on the bed . [I]_2342-matt peel [myself]_2342-matt from the covers , without a word , and pad across the white carpet into [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} , shutting the door behind [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt know [he]_866-he watched [my]_2342-matt every step . [I]_2342-matt could feel [his]_866-he eyes hammering into [my]_2342-matt naked back . The inevitable awkwardness has been delayed , but it ’s here now . And it ’s here with a vengeance . [I]_2342-matt use the loo , wash [my]_2342-matt hands and take a few moments to psych [myself]_2342-matt up before [I]_2342-matt open the door . [He]_866-he ’s still sprawled on [his]_866-he back , unapologetically naked , staring straight at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know what to do . Eventually , [I]_2342-matt turn back into [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} , grab a soft , white bath sheet from the tall towel rail and wrap [myself]_2342-matt in it , tucking the end in under [my]_2342-matt arm . [I]_2342-matt exit [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} , head straight to the bedroom door and out into [the large living area]_{2692-the large living area} . [I]_2342-matt spot the shattered glass all over the kitchen floor , and it promptly reminds [me]_2342-matt of last night when [he]_866-he unexpectedly pounced on [me]_2342-matt . It was always going to happen , whether [he]_866-he jumped [me]_2342-matt or not , but the easiness of [our]_2693-our joined bodies has completely diminished , leaving space for only one thing … awkwardness [I]_2342-matt find [my]_2342-matt bags by the front door and rummage through to get [my]_2342-matt phone . Holy shit ! It ’s seven thirty . [Kate]_2557-kate ’s leaving in half hour – or supposed to be . [I]_2342-matt sent [her]_2557-kate a text to tell [her]_2557-kate that [I]_2342-matt was on [my]_2342-matt way [home]_281-home and [I]_2342-matt have n’t turned up . [She]_2557-kate has n’t bloody called to find out where [I]_2342-matt am , though . [Charming]_126-charming ! ‘_[2342-matt] Fucking hell ! ’ [I]_2342-matt curse under [my]_2342-matt breath , spinning round and finding [Jesse]_327-jesse – still naked , looking really rather angry . What the hell has [he]_866-he got to be angry about ? It riles [me]_2342-matt instantly . ‘_[2342-matt] Mouth ! ’ [he]_866-he growls at [me]_2342-matt on a scowl . [He]_866-he ’s really mad . Well , so am [I.]_2342-matt With [myself]_2342-matt ! [I]_2342-matt scoop [my]_2342-matt bag up and head for [[his]_866-he bathroom]_{535-the bedroom} , collecting [my]_2342-matt discarded clothes on [my]_2342-matt way . ‘_[2342-matt] Can [I]_2342-matt use [your]_2342-matt shower ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] No ! ’ [he]_866-he snaps . [I]_2342-matt laugh . ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t be [a child]_{869-a child} , [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’ [My]_327-jesse tone is condescending , and [I]_327-jesse give [him]_866-he an extra wide berth , passing [him]_866-he swiftly on [my]_327-jesse way back to [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} . [I]_327-jesse need not to be touching [him]_866-he . [I]_327-jesse go to shut the door , but [he]_866-he slams [his]_866-he shoulder into it , all but barging in behind [me]_327-jesse . [I]_327-jesse make a point of glaring at [him]_866-he before [I]_327-jesse move away to turn the shower on . Is [he]_870-he mad about [my]_327-jesse crazy pillow talk ? [I]_327-jesse ca n’t blame [him]_870-he . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] pretty mad with [myself]_2342-matt . [He]_870-he ’s absolutely right ; [I]_2342-matt should keep quiet during sex . Come to think of it , so should [he]_870-he . [He]_870-he said some pretty crazy shit too . [I]_2342-matt dig through [my]_2342-matt bag to get yesterday ’s t - shirt , drop [my]_2342-matt flip flops to the tiled floor , throw [my]_2342-matt make - up bag by the sink and brush [my]_2342-matt teeth , and the whole time , [Jesse]_327-jesse stands there festering . When [the room]_{2350-the room} is full of steam , [I]_2342-matt drop the towel , totally brazen – [I]_2342-matt ’m pissed , [I]_2342-matt could n’t give a flying fuck – open the shower door and get in to wash off four rounds of [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse . If [I]_2342-matt was n’t so sticky , with sweat and cum all over [me]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt would n’t bother . [I]_2342-matt would be gone already . The water is divine and relaxing , despite [my]_2342-matt scowling spectator , as [I]_2342-matt wash [my]_2342-matt hair , letting the water fall over [me]_2342-matt for the briefest of moments . But [I]_2342-matt ’ve not got time to take full advantage of the soothing water . [I]_2342-matt open [my]_2342-matt eyes and the shower door is flung open , the cool air attacking [my]_2342-matt wet , naked body . [Jesse]_327-jesse is snarling at [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt ’re not going anywhere ! ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt barks . [I]_2342-matt look at [him]_2342-matt , completely exasperated , [my]_2342-matt jaw hitting the shower tray . [He]_2342-matt ’s made the most of [me]_2342-matt while [I]_2342-matt ’ve been [here]_314-here . Is [he]_2342-matt still not happy ? ‘ Yes , [I]_2342-matt bloody am ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No , [you]_327-jesse ’re_[2342-matt] not ! ’ ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , what ’s [your]_327-jesse problem ? ’ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] stood in the shower , hot water pounding [me]_2342-matt , cold air blasting [me]_2342-matt , and facing a brooding hunk of [a male]_{874-a male} . ‘ [YOU]_327-jesse ! ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt yells . ‘ [Me]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] Oh , [the man]_2342-matt has a nerve . [I]_2342-matt turn the water off and push [my]_2342-matt way past [his]_2342-matt big body , ignoring the sparks that fly off of [me]_2342-matt from the contact . Does [he]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt ’m an object [he]_2342-matt can fuck at will and order about ? [I]_2342-matt wrap a towel around [me]_2342-matt , flinging one on [my]_2342-matt head , roughing it all over to expel the water . [I]_2342-matt ’ve not got time to dry it , and [I]_2342-matt doubt [Mr Unreasonable]_327-jesse [here]_314-here has a hairdryer . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_327-jesse hand wrap around the top of [my]_2342-matt arm . [I]_2342-matt brusquely yank it out of [his]_327-jesse grasp , carrying on with getting [my]_2342-matt underwear , jeans and top on . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t want [you]_875-you to leave . ’ [His]_327-jesse voice has softened . ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t be stupid , [Jesse]_327-jesse . [You]_875-you ca n’t keep [me]_2342-matt here as [a sex slave]_{876-a sex slave} . [You]_875-you ’ve got [many willing women falling at [your]_875-you feet]_{877-many willing women falling at your feet} , go and busy [yourself]_875-you with [one of [them]_{877-many willing women falling at your feet}]_{460-one of them} . ’ [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe how harsh [I]_2342-matt sound . The thought of [him]_{460-one of them} with [another woman]_{2697-another woman} makes [me]_2342-matt want to attack . [I]_2342-matt catch [his]_{460-one of them} eyes in the mirror . [They]_{877-many willing women falling at your feet} are narrowed right on [me]_2342-matt , burning [my]_2342-matt skin . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t want [other women]_{879-other women} . [I]_2342-matt want [you]_875-you . ’ [I]_2342-matt pause , mid cream application . ‘_[2342-matt] Have n’t [you]_875-you had [me]_2342-matt enough ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask , a massive part of [me]_2342-matt wanting [him]_2342-matt to say no , but knowing it ’s only going to end badly if [he]_2342-matt does . [He]_2342-matt reaches up , brushing [his]_2342-matt knuckles down [my]_2342-matt cheek . [I]_2342-matt unconsciously nuzzle into it , closing [my]_2342-matt eyes . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says softly . [He]_2342-matt wraps [his]_2342-matt spare arm around [my]_2342-matt waist , pulling [me]_2342-matt to [his]_2342-matt chest , resting [his]_2342-matt lips against [my]_2342-matt ear . ‘ Forgive [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] Oh God , what am [I]_2342-matt doing ? [This man]_2342-matt is a magnet . [He]_2342-matt sucks all rationality right out of [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt turn [my]_2342-matt face to [his]_2342-matt , letting [him]_2342-matt take [my]_2342-matt mouth gently and hesitantly , [his]_2342-matt hand moving from [my]_2342-matt cheek to the back of [my]_2342-matt head , [his]_2342-matt fingers threading through [my]_2342-matt wet hair . [He]_2342-matt strokes [my]_2342-matt tongue and skims [my]_2342-matt lips worshipfully . [I]_2342-matt ’m lost in [him]_2342-matt again - completely lost . [He]_2342-matt releases [my]_2342-matt mouth . ‘_[2342-matt] That ’s better . ’ [He]_2342-matt plants a chaste kiss on [my]_2342-matt nose . ‘_[2342-matt] Do [you]_880-you still want a ride ? ’ [I]_2342-matt raise [my]_2342-matt eyebrows on a grin . ‘_[2342-matt] To [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} ? ’ [He]_2342-matt presses [his]_2342-matt lips to [mine]_2342-matt and hums . ‘_[128-cheeky] [Cheeky]_128-cheeky . Give [me]_2342-matt ten minutes . ’ [He]_2342-matt turns the shower back on and grabs a fresh towel from the warmer . ‘_[2342-matt] Can [I]_2342-matt get some water ? ’ [I]_832-ava ask . ‘_[832-ava] Knock [yourself]_880-you out , [baby]_832-ava . ’ [He]_2342-matt slaps [my]_832-ava bum and jumps in the shower . Chapter 13 [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] on [my]_2342-matt knees , gingerly plucking up pieces of glass from the kitchen floor , when [Jesse]_327-jesse strolls in from [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} . [I]_2342-matt glance up . Oh , that gait of [his]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse rocks up to [me]_2342-matt wearing heavy , beige board shorts , a white Ralph Lauren Polo shirt – collar turned up – and blue converse . The blonde hairs on [his]_327-jesse muscled legs are bleached , highlighted by [his]_327-jesse slight tan . [He]_327-jesse ’s not shaved , but [his]_327-jesse blonde stubble does n’t conceal [his]_327-jesse handsome features . [I]_2342-matt ’m on [my]_2342-matt knees , lips parted , looking deprived . [He]_327-jesse stops in front of [me]_2342-matt , looking down with a grin on [his]_327-jesse face . [He]_327-jesse looks younger . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m afraid [you]_2342-matt have [me]_2342-matt at a disadvantage . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt tease . [His]_327-jesse eyes sparkle with delight as [he]_327-jesse squats in front of [me]_2342-matt . ‘ It would seem [your]_2342-matt disadvantage would be [my]_327-jesse complete advantage . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse winks . [I]_2342-matt want to jump [him]_327-jesse , but with a hand full of glass shards , [us]_884-us both fully dressed and late , [I]_2342-matt shall resist . ‘ Here , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse holds both [his]_327-jesse hands out in front of [him]_327-jesse for [me]_2342-matt to transfer the glass . ‘ [You]_2342-matt should have left it , [you]_2342-matt could have cut [yourself]_2342-matt . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse moans at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt tip the glass into [his]_327-jesse palms and heave [myself]_2342-matt up from the floor , while [he]_327-jesse empties [his]_327-jesse hands , tipping the glass into the sink . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’ll sort it later . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse slips [his]_327-jesse Wayfarer ’s on , collects [his]_327-jesse keys and [my]_2342-matt bags , before grabbing [my]_2342-matt hand to lead [me]_2342-matt to the door . ‘ Are [you]_2342-matt working today ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . ‘ No , not much goes on at [The Manor]_{3-the manor} during the day . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse winks at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt melt . [He]_327-jesse ’s all roguish , and [I]_2342-matt love it . [He]_327-jesse opens the door and [we]_885-we ’re immediately met by [a couple of scruffy looking men with clipboards]_{2698-a couple of scruffy looking men with clipboards} , wearing blue overalls . The embroidered print on [their]_{2698-a couple of scruffy looking men with clipboards} uniforms reads , “ B&C Removals ” . ‘_[327-jesse] [Mr Ward]_327-jesse ? ’ The one that looks like [a trucker]_{2699-a trucker} asks , [his]_327-jesse yellow teeth indicating at least fifty cigarettes and twenty cups of coffee a day . ‘_[327-jesse] The boxes in [the spare room]_{886-the spare room} go first . [[My]_2342-matt housekeeper]_{887-my housekeeper} will be here shortly to assist with the rest . ’ [He]_327-jesse pulls [me]_{887-my housekeeper} through [the corridor]_{2361-the corridor} , leaving [the trucker type]_{2701-the trucker type} and [[his]_327-jesse lanky apprentice]_{2702-his lanky apprentice} to get on with things . ‘_{[887-my housekeeper]} Be careful with the ski and bike equipment . ’ [he]_327-jesse yells behind [him]_327-jesse . ‘_{[887-my housekeeper]} [You]_888-you have [a housekeeper]_{889-a housekeeper} ? ’ [I]_{889-a housekeeper} ask , completely stunned . [I]_{889-a housekeeper} do n’t know why . [The man]_327-jesse ’s brought [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} at [Lusso]_66-lusso for a cool ten million . Why is this only just sinking in ? [He]_{889-a housekeeper} ’s really rich . ‘_{[889-a housekeeper]} [She]_{889-a housekeeper} ’s [the only woman [I]_2342-matt could n’t live without]_{889-a housekeeper} , ’ [he]_327-jesse replies flippantly . ‘_{[889-a housekeeper]} [She]_{889-a housekeeper} ’s off to [Ireland]_30-ireland next week to visit [[her]_{889-a housekeeper} family]_{890-her family} . It ’ll all fall apart then . ’ [I]_{889-a housekeeper} make it to [[my]_{889-a housekeeper} car]_{2336-my car} in record time , after [Jesse]_327-jesse dipped and weaved through the early morning traffic . [Fellow drivers]_{2705-fellow drivers} seem to be more accommodating to an [Aston Martin]_{122-aston martin} and a few hand gestures . [He]_327-jesse loads [my]_{889-a housekeeper} bags into the back of [[my]_{889-a housekeeper} car]_{2336-my car} , while [I]_{889-a housekeeper} check [my]_{889-a housekeeper} phone . Ten past eight . Okay , [I]_{889-a housekeeper} ’m_{[889-a housekeeper]} late . [I]_2342-matt fire a quick text to [Kate]_2557-kate to tell [her]_2557-kate [I]_2342-matt ’m on [my]_2342-matt way and look up , finding [him]_327-jesse staring at [me]_2342-matt . Even through [his]_327-jesse Wayfarer ’s – which [he]_327-jesse looks tremendous in – [I]_2342-matt can feel that potent , green gaze blazing [my]_2342-matt skin . [I]_2342-matt open [the driver]_{2706-the driver} ’s door of [[my]_2342-matt Mini]_{2340-my mini} , jump in and start the engine . [Jesse]_327-jesse is crouched down by [my]_2342-matt side before [I]_2342-matt can close the door . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll take [you]_2342-matt for lunch . ’ [he]_327-jesse informs [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt told [you]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt ’ve got stacks to get done . ’ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not being sidetracked by roguish [Jesse]_327-jesse , although [he]_327-jesse is very distracting . ‘ Dinner then , ’_[327-jesse] ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll ring [you]_2342-matt later . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve spent the whole night with [him]_327-jesse , [he]_327-jesse ’s fucked [me]_2342-matt into oblivion , and [I]_2342-matt need some recovery time . [His]_327-jesse shoulders sag and [he]_327-jesse scowls heavily . ‘ Are [you]_2342-matt refusing [me]_327-jesse ? ’_[327-jesse] ‘ No , [I]_2342-matt ’ll call [you]_2342-matt later . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say on a frown . ‘ Fine , ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse snaps . ‘ Make sure [you]_2342-matt do . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse leans in , resting [his]_327-jesse palm on [my]_2342-matt jean clad thigh , and plants a deliberately scorching hot kiss on [my]_2342-matt lips . [He]_327-jesse knows what [he]_327-jesse ’s doing . [He]_327-jesse pulls back , leaving [me]_2342-matt slightly breathless . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’ll wait for [your]_65-ha call . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse says , strolling away , enhancing that bloody gait . That was a look - what - [your]_65-ha - missing kiss . It worked . ‘ How old are [you]_65-ha , [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout after [him]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse turns , walking backwards with a fraction of a grin tickling [his]_327-jesse lips . ‘ Twenty four , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt drop [my]_2342-matt shoulders , exhaling a long , exhausted breath . ‘ How many times have [I]_2342-matt got to ask [you]_65-ha before [we]_2708-we get to [your]_65-ha real age ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Quite a few , [lady]_65-ha . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse lifts [his]_327-jesse glasses up a touch and winks before turning away and resuming sexy stride . Everything [this man]_327-jesse does is effortless and sexy as hell , the way [he]_327-jesse carries [himself]_327-jesse , all confident and virile . It ’s no wonder [women]_348-women fall at [his]_327-jesse feet . [He]_327-jesse ’s [sex personified]_{893-sex personified} . And [I]_2342-matt can more than vouch for that . The engine rumbles to life and [he]_327-jesse roars off like [a teenage rally driver]_{894-a teenage rally driver} . Maybe [he]_327-jesse is twenty four . [He]_327-jesse certainly acts it sometimes . [I]_2342-matt fly through the front door and up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , finding [Kate]_2557-kate drying [her]_2557-kate hair on the landing . [She]_2557-kate looks flustered , which means [she]_2557-kate ’s running late . When [she]_2557-kate spots [me]_2342-matt , [she]_2557-kate turns the dryer off and grins from ear to ear . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt ’m blushing from head to toe . It ’s not going to help [me]_2342-matt if [I]_2342-matt choose to go on the defensive . ‘_[2342-matt] Good night ? ’ [she]_2557-kate asks on an arched brow . [She]_2557-kate does n’t seem in much of a rush now . [Her]_2557-kate eyes are dancing in delight , and [I]_2557-kate ca n’t help the smile breaking out across [my]_2557-kate own face . ‘_[2557-kate] It was okay . ’ [I]_2557-kate shrug , reflexively grabbing a tendril of hair . What an understatement . Try mind - blowing , drop dead worthy . ‘_[2557-kate] Ha ! ’ [she]_2557-kate cries . ‘_[2557-kate] Do tell . ’ [She]_2557-kate bats [my]_{896-the new owner of the penthouse} twiddling fingers away from [my]_{896-the new owner of the penthouse} hair , looking at [me]_{896-the new owner of the penthouse} expectedly . ‘_{[896-the new owner of the penthouse]} Yeah , [he]_{896-the new owner of the penthouse} ’s [a God]_{74-a god} . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t lie to [you]_898-you . [He]_{896-the new owner of the penthouse} ’s [the new owner of [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse}]_{896-the new owner of the penthouse} . ’ ‘_{[896-the new owner of the penthouse]} Fuck off ! [He]_{896-the new owner of the penthouse} ’s delicious and super rich ! ’ Yes , it would seem so . ‘_{[896-the new owner of the penthouse]} Were n’t [you]_898-you worried about [me]_2342-matt ? [I]_2342-matt left a message on [your]_898-you phone . ’ [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [she]_{896-the new owner of the penthouse} ’s not been worried about [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve not checked [my]_2342-matt phone . Anyway , the way [he]_{896-the new owner of the penthouse} was looking at [you]_898-you , the only thing [I]_2342-matt was worried about was [you]_898-you not being able to walk this morning , ’ [She]_900-her starts laughing as [she]_900-her chucks [her]_900-her dryer on the floor and makes [her]_900-her way into [[her]_900-her super tidy bedroom]_{2709-her super tidy bedroom} . ‘_[898-you] And , if [I]_2342-matt ’m not mistaken , there ’s a limp . ’_[900-her] [she]_900-her calls back . [I]_2342-matt am a bit sore , actually . Four rounds of [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse has taken its toll on [my]_2342-matt body . [I]_2342-matt follow [her]_900-her in , flopping on [her]_900-her perfectly made bed . ‘ [Jesus]_72-jesus , [Kate]_2557-kate . [The man]_2557-kate has experience . ’_[2342-matt] That sudden thought reminds [me]_2342-matt of all the many conquests that would have come before [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt screw [my]_2342-matt face up in disgust . ‘ [You]_72-jesus wanted uncomplicated fun . It looks like [you]_72-jesus ’ve got it . High five ! ’_[2342-matt] [She]_900-her air slaps [me]_2342-matt and leaves [the room]_{2350-the room} . ‘ And there ’s [no girlfriend]_{2673-no girlfriend} ? ’_[900-her] Did [I]_2342-matt want uncomplicated fun ? Will this be uncomplicated fun ? ‘ No , but [she]_900-her wants [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt ’ve worked that much out . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Oh well , unlucky for [her]_900-her . [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to beat feet . [I]_2342-matt ’ll be back tomorrow afternoon . What are [you]_72-jesus up to while [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] gone ? ’ [I]_2342-matt roll off [her]_900-her bed and smooth the covers before leaving [[her]_900-her immaculate room]_{2350-the room} , shutting the door behind [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m going to sort [my]_2342-matt stuff out . Have [we]_2711-we got any bin bags ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Hurrah]_129-hurrah ! [They]_2711-we ’re_[2342-matt] under the sink , ’ [She]_902-she grabs [her]_902-she bag from the top of [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} and makes [her]_902-she way down to the door . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt ’re more than welcome to borrow [Margo]_1052-margo . ’_[902-she] Is [she]_902-she kidding [me]_2342-matt ? [I]_2342-matt ’d have to complete a ten month leg muscle workout programme to build up the strength to use that clutch . [I]_2342-matt ’ve got cramp just thinking about it . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not going anywhere . Drive safe . ’ By six o’clock , [I]_902-she ’m_[902-she] sat in the middle of [[my]_2342-matt room]_{2682-my room} surrounded by bin bags . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been brutal . Clearly , [my]_2342-matt last sort out was half - hearted because [I]_2342-matt ’ve accumulated four sacks of clothes for [the charity shop]_{904-the charity shop} . If [I]_2342-matt ’ve not worn it in the last six months , then it ’s in one of those four bags . All of [my]_2342-matt remaining clothes have been washed and ironed , and are now folded neatly in an organised manner . [I]_2342-matt feel cleansed . [I]_2342-matt empty [my]_2342-matt waste paper basket into a rubbish sack . The calla lily that [Jesse]_327-jesse gave [me]_2342-matt tumbles out . It ’s all shriveled and discoloured . [I]_2342-matt should have put it in some water , but back then , [I]_2342-matt did n’t plan on seeing [the man]_2342-matt again . [I]_2342-matt wanted to forget about [him]_2342-matt . Impossible . [I]_2342-matt smile to [myself]_2342-matt , tying the sack and carting it out to the bin . [I]_2342-matt collapse on the sofa with a bottle of wine and a family size bar of chocolate to catch up on Saturday night , crappy television . A few hours later , [I]_2342-matt ’m staring at the last cube of chocolate and feeling slightly nauseous . [I]_2342-matt really need to start buying a regular size . [I]_2342-matt pop it in and chomp lazily as [I]_2342-matt flick the channels repeatedly . The sound of [my]_2342-matt phone drags [me]_2342-matt from the sofa , [my]_2342-matt heart giving a little skip . It could be [Jesse]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt groan . It ’s [Matt]_2342-matt . What does [he]_2342-matt want ? It ’s Saturday night and [he]_2342-matt ’s newly single to do what [he]_2342-matt pleases . Not that [our]_2713-our relationship ever stopped [him]_2342-matt from doing exactly that anyway . ‘_[2342-matt] Hello ? ’ ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [you]_832-ava okay ? ’ [He]_2342-matt does n’t sound drunk . ‘_[832-ava] Yeah , are [you]_832-ava ? ’ What does [he]_2342-matt want ? ‘_[832-ava] Good , how did yesterday go ? ’ [My]_832-ava wine glass halts on its way to [my]_832-ava lips . Why do [I]_832-ava feel interrogated all of a sudden ? It ’s just a friendly question . What should [I]_832-ava say ? [I]_832-ava had sex in [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} with [the new owner]_{2624-the new owner} ; [I]_832-ava went [home]_281-home with [him]_2342-matt ; [he]_2342-matt fucked [me]_832-ava up the arse ; [he]_2342-matt ’s older , [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] not sure how much older , but an absolute Adonis ; [I]_2342-matt ca n’t walk properly today … ‘ Really good , thanks . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say instead . ‘ Great , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt chirps , but then there ’s a long pause . Why all the sudden interest in [my]_2342-matt career ? When [I]_2342-matt told [him]_2342-matt that [I]_2342-matt ’d won the Lusso contract , [he]_2342-matt ’d asked [me]_2342-matt what [I]_2342-matt ’d done for dinner . [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_2342-matt draw breath . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , do [you]_832-ava fancy lunch on Tuesday ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt does n’t sound right . [He]_2342-matt sounds all nervous and timid , not the usual conceited , sure [Matt]_2342-matt that [I]_2342-matt know . What ’s [he]_2342-matt doing in on a Saturday night ? ‘ Sure , is everything okay ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Not really . [I]_2342-matt ’ll speak to [you]_832-ava Tuesday , yeah ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Okay . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt reply hesitantly . [I]_2342-matt hope nothing dreadful has happened . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll meet [you]_832-ava at [Baroque]_130-baroque at one o’clock . Is that okay ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Of course , [I]_2342-matt ’ll see [you]_832-ava then . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hang up . [He]_2342-matt really does n’t sound good . [He]_2342-matt might be [an arrogant , cheating rat]_{906-an arrogant , cheating rat} , and [I]_2342-matt might be well shot of [him]_2342-matt , but [you]_907-you do n’t just stop caring . [I]_2342-matt flick the television off and take [myself]_2342-matt to [[my]_2342-matt newly cleansed bedroom]_{908-my newly cleansed bedroom} , retreating hastily under [my]_2342-matt duvet . [I]_2342-matt ’m completely whacked . Being tucked up in bed at this time on a Saturday night is new territory for [me]_2342-matt these days , but after [my]_2342-matt recent exertions , the sleep is most welcome . * * * [I]_2342-matt come awake to music and stretch in [my]_2342-matt bed . It ’s a lovely satisfied stretch that tells [me]_2342-matt [I]_2342-matt ’ve had a very restful sleep . [I]_2342-matt sit up . What is that ? It takes a while for [my]_2342-matt brain to kick into awake mode , but when it ’s does , [I]_2342-matt can still hear music . [I]_2342-matt brush [my]_2342-matt hair from [my]_2342-matt face . The music stops . Huh ? Is [Kate]_2557-kate back already ? [I]_2342-matt glance at [my]_2342-matt clock . Nine o’clock ? Christ , [I]_2342-matt ’ve not slept this late in years . [I]_2342-matt flop back on [my]_2342-matt pillow with a smile . It would seem that [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse is good for [my]_2342-matt sex life and [my]_2342-matt sleep . There ’s that music again . The familiar sound of [Noel Gallagher]_{131-noel gallagher} ’s Sunday Morning Call penetrates [my]_2342-matt ear drums . [I]_2342-matt love that track . [I]_2342-matt frown , reaching for [my]_2342-matt phone and see [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s name flashing on the screen . [I]_2342-matt smile as [I]_2342-matt connect the call . ‘_[2342-matt] How did [you]_909-you do that ? ’ [My]_2342-matt voice is husky from sleep . ‘_[2342-matt] Do what ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks . [I]_909-you ca n’t see [him]_2342-matt , but [I]_909-you know [he]_2342-matt ’s grinning that cocky , sexy grin . ‘_[909-you] [You]_909-you rigged [my]_2342-matt phone . ’ [I]_909-you accuse . ‘_[909-you] Where are [you]_909-you ? ’ ‘_[909-you] In bed . ’ Recovering from [you]_909-you ! ‘_[909-you] Naked ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks – all low and husky . Oh no ! [I]_909-you ’m_[909-you] not getting into sleazy phone sex . [I]_2342-matt know where this is going . [His]_2342-matt voice does things to [me]_2342-matt . ‘ No , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt could remedy that . ’ [I]_2342-matt shudder at the thought . How can [he]_2342-matt spark such reactions by being on the end of the phone ? ‘_[2342-matt] How ’s [[your]_909-you new apartment]_{910-your new apartment} ? ’ [I]_909-you need to change the direction of conversation quickly . ‘_[909-you] Full of Italian shit . ’ ‘_[909-you] Funny . Where are [you]_909-you ? ’ [He]_2342-matt sighs . ‘_[909-you] At [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , [you]_909-you said [you]_909-you would call . ’ [He]_2342-matt sounds slighted . Yes , [I]_909-you did say [I]_909-you would call , but it ’s only been twenty four hours – ish , and [I]_909-you ’m_[909-you] majorly uncomfortable with the fact that [I]_2342-matt really , really wanted to call [him]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt got carried away sorting [[my]_2342-matt room]_{2682-my room} out . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt did . And it ’s a good job done . [I]_2342-matt ’m ignoring the fact that [I]_2342-matt purposely kept [myself]_2342-matt busy . ‘_[2342-matt] What are [you]_909-you doing today ? [I]_2342-matt want to see [you]_909-you . ’ What ? Just like that ? [Christ]_72-jesus , has n’t [he]_2342-matt had enough of [me]_2342-matt ? Obviously not , but is this a good Idea ? Damn , [I]_2342-matt want to see [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] much too young for [him]_2342-matt . And [I]_2342-matt would n’t trust [him]_2342-matt as far as [I]_2342-matt can throw [him]_2342-matt . With [his]_2342-matt looks , confidence and talent in [the pleasure department]_{912-the pleasure department} , [he]_2342-matt ’s a sure fire way to a broken heart . [I]_2342-matt need [a reliable , trustworthy man]_{913-a reliable , trustworthy man} – [a man who ’ll look after [me]_2342-matt and walk on hot coals for [me]_2342-matt]_{913-a reliable , trustworthy man} . [I]_2342-matt silently laugh . [My]_2342-matt expectations are ridiculously high , but given [my]_2342-matt last two relationships , [I]_2342-matt ’m sticking to the plan . If [Jesse]_327-jesse wants to see [me]_2342-matt , it should be on [my]_2342-matt terms . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t be seen to be desperate . ‘_[2342-matt] No can do , ’ [I]_2342-matt say dismissively . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m super busy . ’_[2342-matt] Doing sweet fuck all ! Damn , [I]_2342-matt want to see [him]_2342-matt . ‘ Busy doing what ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt ’s shocked . Why would n’t [I]_2342-matt be busy ? [I]_2342-matt have a life . ‘ All sorts . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Are [you]_2342-matt fiddling with [your]_2342-matt hair , by any chance ? ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt voice is full of humour . [I]_2342-matt pause , mid - twiddle . How has [he]_2342-matt cottoned on to that ? ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll call [you]_2342-matt tomorrow . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt inform [him]_2342-matt . Will [I]_2342-matt ? [I]_2342-matt ’m just about to hang up when [I]_2342-matt hear that cold , unfriendly voice [I]_2342-matt hate so much . What the bloody hell is [she]_914-she doing there ? [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] uncomfortable with how uncomfortable that makes [me]_2342-matt feel . Why should [I]_2342-matt care ? ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , wait a minute . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt must cover [his]_2342-matt phone because the voices become muffled , but it ’s definitely [her]_914-she . [I]_2342-matt bristle all over , which is crazy stupid . ‘ [Sarah]_54-victoria , just give [me]_2342-matt a second , will [you]_54-victoria ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt sounds slightly pissed . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , are [you]_54-victoria there ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt should just hang up . ‘ Yeah , ’_[2342-matt] Damn [me]_2342-matt ! ‘ [You]_54-victoria ’ll call tomorrow . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says . It‘s a statement , not a question . ‘ [I]_2342-matt will . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hang up quickly . That was not how [I]_2342-matt wanted to end the conversation . [He]_2342-matt pretty much told [me]_2342-matt to call , and [I]_2342-matt agreed . That is not being on the front foot . [I]_2342-matt huff [my]_2342-matt way out of bed and take [myself]_2342-matt to [the shower]_{915-the shower} . What am [I]_2342-matt going to do all day , anyway ? [Kate]_2557-kate ’s not [home]_281-home and [the house]_{308-the place} is spick and span , as usual . [I]_2342-matt need something to divert [my]_2342-matt unreasonable , jealous frame of mind . Chapter 14 ‘ Fucking hell ! ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate ’s stood in [my]_2342-matt bedroom doorway , open mouthed and wide eyed . ‘ What happened ? ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt tuck [my]_2342-matt black shirt into [my]_2342-matt capri pants and marvel at how easily [I]_2342-matt locate [my]_2342-matt black , suede heels and gold belt . [I]_2342-matt really am very organised this morning . ‘ How ’s [your]_2342-matt Gran ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask , feeding [my]_2342-matt belt through the loops of [my]_2342-matt trousers . ‘ Still senile . What did [you]_919-you get up to while [I]_2557-kate was gone ? ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate starts plumping a pillow on [my]_2342-matt bed . [I]_2342-matt gesture around [the room]_{2350-the room} , with a what - do - [you]_919-you - think look , leaving out the fact that [Matt]_2342-matt called and [I]_2342-matt agreed to meet [him]_2342-matt . Oh , [I]_2342-matt ’ll also omit [the Jesse]_327-jesse call that resulted in [me]_2342-matt sulking for the best part of yesterday . How ridiculous ! ‘ What time did [you]_919-you get back ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [I]_2342-matt ’d given up waiting and pigged [Kate]_2557-kate ’s half of the wine after [I]_2342-matt called and discovered that [she]_2557-kate was stuck at [junction nineteen of [the M1]_{31-the m1}]_{920-junction nineteen of the m1} . ‘ Ten . [All of the commuters returning to [the city]_{2326-the city}]_{2718-all of the commuters returning to the city} were clogging [the roads]_{570-the roads} . [I]_2557-kate ’ll do [the train]_{2721-the train} next time . Can [I]_2557-kate borrow [you]_919-you after work ? ’_[2557-kate] ‘ Sure , what for ? ’_[2557-kate] ‘ [I]_2557-kate ’ve got a cake delivery [I]_2557-kate need some help with . ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate says . ‘ No worries . Pick [me]_2557-kate up from [the office]_{279-the office} at six . ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt grab [my]_2342-matt black bag from [[my]_2342-matt newly organised bag cupboard]_{921-my newly organised bag cupboard} and start transferring [my]_2342-matt things from last week ’s bag . ‘ Will do , have [you]_919-you heard from [the God]_{2723-the god} ? ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt head snaps up , and [I]_2342-matt find [Kate]_2557-kate grinning from ear to ear as [she]_2557-kate folds up [my]_2342-matt bed throw . [I]_2342-matt narrow [my]_2342-matt eyes on [her]_2557-kate before presenting [myself]_2342-matt to the mirror to put [my]_2342-matt gloss on . ‘ [You]_919-you mean [the Lord]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt called . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt disclose casually , popping [my]_2342-matt lips and catching [her]_2557-kate reflection . [She]_2557-kate ’s still grinning . ‘ What ? ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt gasp . ‘ Have [we]_2725-we established an age ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scoff . ‘ No , [I]_2342-matt keep asking and [he]_2342-matt keeps lying . It ’s obviously an issue . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Well , [the man]_2342-matt ’s landed [himself]_2342-matt a hot bird of twenty six . [He]_2342-matt probably ca n’t believe [his]_2342-matt luck . [He]_2342-matt ’s thirty five , maximum . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [He]_2342-matt has n’t landed [me]_2342-matt . It ’s just sex . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt correct [her]_2557-kate , rather unconvincingly . [I]_2342-matt collect [my]_2342-matt bag , leaving [Kate]_2557-kate tweaking [my]_2342-matt bed covers as [I]_2342-matt head to [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , pour [myself]_2342-matt some orange juice and take [my]_2342-matt phone off charge . [Kate]_2557-kate waltzes in as [I]_2342-matt ’m feeding [myself]_2557-kate [my]_2557-kate pill . [She]_2557-kate flicks the kettle on . ‘_[2557-kate] [You]_923-you ca n’t beat a good screw with an Adonis to get [you]_923-you over a relationship . [He]_924-he ’s [your]_923-you rebound fuck . ’ [I]_924-he laugh . Yes , that ’s exactly what [he]_924-he is . Not that [I]_924-he needed any distractions to get over [Matt]_2342-matt . That was pretty easy . ‘_[924-he] Correct , ’ [I]_2342-matt agree . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll see [you]_923-you after work . ’ [She]_2557-kate leans over the banister as [I]_2342-matt run down [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} . ‘_[2342-matt] Six o’clock ! ’ It ’s a usual Monday morning again , but most unusual is that [everyone]_282-everyone is here . There ’s always at least one of [us]_2728-us out of [the office]_{279-the office} on [site]_2730-site visits or appointments . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} with [Patrick]_327-jesse , filling [him]_327-jesse in on [[Mrs Kent]_{86-mrs kent} ’s new house]_{926-mrs kent ’s new house} . ‘ Have [you]_923-you ever asked [her]_{86-mrs kent} if [she]_{86-mrs kent} would change the theme ? It may influence whether it feels like [home]_281-home . It would potentially save [Mr K]_{132-mr k} a fortune , ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse laughs . ‘ Not that [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] complaining , of course . [She]_{86-mrs kent} can move every year for the rest of [her]_{86-mrs kent} life , for all [I]_2342-matt care , as long as [she]_{86-mrs kent} keeps contracting [you]_927-you to jazz the place up . ’ [I]_{86-mrs kent} frown . ‘_{[86-mrs kent]} Jazz ? [I]_2342-matt do more than jazz the place up , [Patrick]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . [She]_{86-mrs kent} insists on modern everything , but [I]_2342-matt ’m not sure it ’s really [her]_{86-mrs kent} thing . [I]_2342-matt think [she]_{86-mrs kent} gets bored . That or [she]_{86-mrs kent} loves having [the workmen]_{2732-the workmen} around . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt raise [my]_2342-matt eyebrows on a laugh . ‘ Now , there ’s a thought , ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse laughs with [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [The old goat]_{2733-the old goat} is seventy , if a day . Maybe [she]_{86-mrs kent} should get [a toy - boy]_{2734-a toy - boy} . [God]_68-god knows , [Mr K]_{132-mr k} has plenty on young scrumpet scattered around [the globe]_{2735-the globe} . [I]_327-jesse have that straight from a very reliable source . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse winks at [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt smile fondly at [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt know [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s referring to [[his]_327-jesse wife]_{63-his wife} , [Irene]_363-irene . If it ’s happening in [this town]_{929-this town} , [Irene]_363-irene knows about it . [She]_363-irene ’s [a self - confessed busy body]_{930-a self - confessed busy body} , know - it - all and gossip . If [she]_363-irene does n’t know about it , then it is n’t worth knowing about . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know how [Patrick]_327-jesse puts up with [her]_363-irene . It must be exhausting to be subjected to [her]_363-irene oral cavity on a daily basis . Luckily , [she]_363-irene only swings by [the office]_{279-the office} once a week before [her]_363-irene wash and set . Nodding and concurring is manageable for the half hour [she]_363-irene spends bringing [us]_932-us up to date on [her]_363-irene hectic social life , and that of [others]_933-others . [I]_2342-matt try [my]_2342-matt very hardest to arrange appointments for a Wednesday around noon , when [I]_2342-matt know [she]_363-irene ’ll be in . [Patrick]_327-jesse is friendly and jolly ; [I]_2342-matt love [him]_327-jesse . [Irene]_363-irene is terrifying ; [she]_363-irene scares the crap out of [me]_2342-matt . ‘ How is [Irene]_363-irene ? ’_[363-irene] [I]_2342-matt ask politely . [I]_2342-matt really do n’t care . [He]_327-jesse throws [his]_327-jesse hands up in despair . ‘ [She]_363-irene drives [me]_327-jesse insane . [The woman]_363-irene has the attention span of [a toddler]_{2736-a toddler} . [She]_363-irene ’s ditched playing bridge and has now informed [me]_327-jesse that [she]_363-irene ’s enrolled in some Kumba dancing nonsense . [I]_327-jesse ca n’t keep up with [her]_363-irene . ’_[327-jesse] ‘ [You]_363-irene mean [Zumba]_133-zumba ? ’_[327-jesse] ‘ That ’s the one , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse points [his]_327-jesse chocolate digestive at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ It ’s all the rage , apparently . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt chuckle at the thought of [Irene]_363-irene in a leopard print leotard , jigging [her]_363-irene over generous rump all over [the place]_{308-the place} . ‘ Oh , [Van Der Haus]_118-mikael wants to meet [you]_118-mikael on Wednesday , ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse winks . ‘ [They]_2737-they really want [you]_118-mikael , flower . ’_[327-jesse] ‘ Really ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse laughs . ‘ [You]_118-mikael ’re_[327-jesse] too modest , [[my]_2342-matt girl]_363-irene . [I]_2342-matt checked [your]_363-irene diary and pencilled in twelve thirty . [He]_327-jesse ’s at [the Royal Park]_{935-the royal park} . Is that okay ? ’ ‘_[327-jesse] Absolutely , ’ [I]_2342-matt do n’t need to check because [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s already took the liberty of doing that for [me]_2342-matt . And damn if it is n’t going to get [me]_2342-matt out of enduring this week ’s update from [Irene]_363-irene . [I]_2342-matt push [myself]_2342-matt away from the kitchen worktop by [my]_2342-matt bum and head for [my]_2342-matt desk . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m going to finalise some drawings and email [some contractors]_{2738-some contractors} . ’_[327-jesse] [His]_327-jesse mobile starts ringing . ‘ What does [she]_363-irene want now ? ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_327-jesse grumble . As [I]_2342-matt ’m getting ready to run over to [the deli]_{2739-the deli} to grab some lunch , [Tom]_60-tom prances up to [my]_2342-matt desk . ‘_[2342-matt] Delivery for [Ava]_832-ava ! ’ [he]_327-jesse screeches at [me]_832-ava , placing a box on [my]_832-ava desk . What ’s this ? [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] not expecting any catalogues . ‘ Thanks , [Tom]_60-tom . Did [you]_60-tom have a good night on Friday ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse gasps on a grin . ‘ [I]_327-jesse met [the scientist]_327-jesse . Oh [my]_327-jesse , but [the man]_{465-that man} is divine ! ’_[327-jesse] Not as divine as [mine]_2342-matt ! [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head in shock at [my]_2342-matt own wayward thoughts . Where did that come from ? ‘ So , that would be a yes ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt confirm . ‘ Yes . Tell [me]_327-jesse who [that man]_{465-that man} was ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse plants [his]_327-jesse hands on [my]_2342-matt desk , leaning in towards [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [What man]_{465-that man} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blurt , far too quickly . [I]_2342-matt retreat in [my]_2342-matt chair to get some distance from the interrogating presence of [[my]_2342-matt nosey , gay friend]_{936-my nosey , gay friend} . ‘ [Your]_60-tom reaction speaks volumes . ’_[327-jesse] [His]_327-jesse eyes narrow on [me]_2342-matt as [my]_2342-matt face burns up . ‘ [He]_60-tom ’s just [a client]_{2741-a client} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shrug . [Tom]_60-tom ’s scrutinising stare moves to [my]_2342-matt fingers that are currently playing with a lock of [my]_2342-matt hair . [I]_2342-matt release it , quickly picking up a pen . [I]_2342-matt need to work on this lying business . [I]_2342-matt ’m truly rubbish at it . [His]_60-tom tongue moves into [his]_60-tom cheek as [he]_60-tom straightens [himself]_60-tom and walks away from [my]_{134-giuseppe cavalli} desk . What ’s wrong with [me]_{134-giuseppe cavalli} ? So what ! [I]_{134-giuseppe cavalli} ’ve been fucking [a handsome , thirty - something man]_{2742-a handsome , thirty - something man} . Or is it forty - something ? [He]_60-tom ’s [my]_{134-giuseppe cavalli} rebound fuck . [I]_{134-giuseppe cavalli} yank the box open , finding a single calla lily on top of a book that ’s wrapped in tissue paper . ‘_{[134-giuseppe cavalli]} [Giuseppe Cavalli]_{134-giuseppe cavalli} . 1936 - 1961 ’ Oh ? [I]_{937-a normal mid - twenties girl} open the cover . A note slips out . [Ava]_832-ava , To [me]_{937-a normal mid - twenties girl} , [you]_832-ava are a book [I]_{937-a normal mid - twenties girl} have opened . [I]_{937-a normal mid - twenties girl} ca n’t put it down . [I]_{937-a normal mid - twenties girl} need to know more . Jx Holy shit ! What does [he]_{134-giuseppe cavalli} want to know ? There ’s absolutely nothing to know . [I]_{937-a normal mid - twenties girl} ’m_{[937-a normal mid - twenties girl]} just [a normal mid - twenties girl]_{937-a normal mid - twenties girl} . [He]_{134-giuseppe cavalli} could start with telling [me]_2342-matt a few things , like how old [he]_{134-giuseppe cavalli} is , for a start . Is it normal to send gifts to [someone]_587-someone [you]_939-she ’re fucking ? Maybe it is for [a mature man]_{2743-a mature man} . [I]_939-she do n’t have time to think about this at the moment . [I]_939-she ’ve got a heap of emails to respond to and furniture deliveries to chase . [I]_939-she throw the book in [my]_939-she bag , pop the lily in [my]_939-she top drawer and dart over to [the deli]_{2739-the deli} for lunch , before cracking on . At six o’clock , [Margo]_1052-margo hisses and bangs up to [the pavement]_{2745-the pavement} to pick [me]_939-she up . [I]_939-she battle with the rusty handle and finally climb in , pushing a dozen cake magazines and empty Starbucks cups to the floor before [I]_939-she can settle [myself]_939-she on the seat . ‘_[939-she] [You]_939-she need [a new delivery van]_{600-the van} . ’ [I]_939-she grumble . Considering how [crazy tidy Kate]_2557-kate is at [home]_281-home , [Margo]_1052-margo is [the pits]_1052-margo . ‘_[939-she] Shhhh , [you]_939-she ’ll hurt [her]_939-she feelings . ’ [She]_939-she grins . ‘_[939-she] Good day ? ’ [She]_939-she eyes [me]_2342-matt warily . [My]_2342-matt shoulders slump spectacularly . [I]_2342-matt got zero work done . Instead , [I]_2342-matt spent all day thinking about a certain stunning creature of an age [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . [I]_2342-matt get the book and note out of [my]_2342-matt bag and hand it to [her]_939-she across [the van]_{600-the van} . [She]_939-she takes it from [me]_2342-matt , uncertainty marring [her]_939-she pretty , pale features , as [she]_939-she opens the front sleeve and the note slips onto [her]_939-she lap . [She]_939-she picks it up , scans the words and gapes at [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt know . ’ [I]_2342-matt say in agreement to [her]_939-she stunned face . [She]_939-she reads the note again , [her]_939-she gaped mouth closing and turning into a grin . ‘_[2342-matt] Yikes ! [The Lord]_{349-the lord} is deep . ’ [She]_939-she thrusts the book back at [me]_{349-the lord} and pulls into the traffic . ‘_{[349-the lord]} [He]_{349-the lord} is . ’ [I]_{349-the lord} start thinking about pillow talk , but just as fast , [I]_{349-the lord} stop thinking about pillow talk . ‘_{[349-the lord]} Just how good in bed are [we]_942-we talking [here]_314-here ? ’ [Kate]_2557-kate asks casually , keeping [her]_2557-kate eyes on [the road]_{2482-the road} . [My]_{349-the lord} head snaps to the side to look at [her]_2557-kate , but [she]_2557-kate wo n’t return [my]_{349-the lord} stare . ‘_{[349-the lord]} Very . ’ [I]_{349-the lord} reply . The best , amazing , mind blowing ! [I]_{349-the lord} want to do it again and again and again ! ‘_{[349-the lord]} Will this be a pin - ball rebound ? ’ [I]_{349-the lord} sigh . ‘_{[349-the lord]} Yes , [I]_2342-matt think it will . And not just because of the sex . ’ [She]_2557-kate reaches over and squeezes [my]_{349-the lord} knee , smiling thoughtfully . [She]_2557-kate knows what ’s happening here . [We]_942-we slow at the entrance of [a residential street]_{2748-a residential street} , and [Kate]_2557-kate brings [Margo]_1052-margo to a stop . ‘_{[349-the lord]} Right , get in the back . ’ [she]_832-ava orders . ‘_{[349-the lord]} What ? ’ ‘_[832-ava] Get in the back , [Ava]_832-ava ! ’ [She]_832-ava reinforces [her]_832-ava instructions with a batting of [my]_832-ava knee . ‘_[832-ava] Why ? ’ [I]_832-ava know [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] frowning heavily . Why on [earth]_944-earth does [she]_832-ava want [me]_2342-matt in the back ? [She]_832-ava points down [the street]_{945-the street} and realisation dawns on [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt look at [her]_832-ava , completely wide eyed . [She]_832-ava has the decency to look a little apologetic . ‘ [I]_832-ava ’ve strapped , padded and cushioned , but [this street]_{945-the street} is a fucking nightmare . That cake took [me]_832-ava two weeks to finish . If it goes over , [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] fucked . ’ [I]_832-ava turn [my]_832-ava gaped mouth away from [Kate]_2557-kate and look down the tree lined street , with [parked cars]_{2749-parked cars} on both sides and [room]_2750-room for one line of traffic down the middle . That ’s not what ’s bothering [me]_832-ava , though . It ’s the vicious , black , rubber speed humps dotted every twenty yards that have [my]_832-ava attention . Oh God , [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] going to be tossed about like a penny in a tumble dryer . ‘ Ca n’t [we]_2751-we carry it ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask desperately . ‘ It ’s five tiers and it weighs a ton . Just hold onto the box . It ’ll be fine . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt exhale , unclipping [my]_2342-matt seatbelt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [you]_2342-matt ’ve got [me]_2342-matt doing this , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt grumble , climbing into the back of [the van]_{600-the van} and wrapping [my]_2342-matt arms around the tall cake box . ‘ Could n’t [you]_2342-matt assemble it on site ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Nope , ’_[947-she] ‘ Why ? ’_[947-she] ‘ [I]_947-she just could n’t . Hold the fucking cake ! ’_[947-she] [she]_947-she yells impatiently . [I]_2342-matt tighten [my]_2342-matt grip , spreading [my]_2342-matt legs to keep [my]_2342-matt balance , and lay [my]_2342-matt cheek against the box . [We]_948-we ’re positioned at the mouth of [the road]_{2482-the road} , engine revving and looking like something out of a comedy sketch . ‘_[948-we] Ready ? ’ [she]_947-she calls back . [I]_948-we hear [Margo]_1052-margo crunch into gear . ‘_[948-we] Just bloody get on with it , will [you]_949-you ? ’ [I]_949-you snap . [She]_947-she ’s giggling as [she]_947-she slowly starts creeping forward . [A car horn]_{2753-a car horn} starts honking impatiently from behind . ‘_[949-you] Fuck off , [you]_949-you tosser ! ’ [Kate]_2557-kate yells as [we]_948-we hit [our]_948-we first speed hump . [I]_949-you ’m_[949-you] propelled into the air , [my]_2342-matt face squishing against the box , [my]_2342-matt heels sliding from under [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [Kate]_2557-kate ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt screech , landing on [my]_2342-matt arse . ‘ Do n’t let go of that box ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scramble back to [my]_2342-matt feet , grabbing the box , just as the back wheels jolt down the other side of the hump . ‘ Will [you]_949-you take it easy ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_950-she need a run up , else [she]_950-she wo n’t make it over ! ’_[950-she] [she]_950-she exclaims , hitting another hump . ‘ Bloody hell ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m catapulted into the air , landing with an almighty thud . ‘_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate ! ’ [She]_950-she ’s laughing hard now , only serving to piss [me]_2557-kate off more . ‘_[2557-kate] Sorry ! ’ [she]_950-she gasps . ‘_[2557-kate] No , [you]_2557-kate ’re not . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt grate , pulling [myself]_2342-matt up again . [I]_2342-matt kick [my]_2342-matt heels off to try and get a better balance . ‘ Oh , no , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blow [my]_2342-matt hair out of [my]_2342-matt face . ‘ What ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not reversing mister ! ’ [she]_950-she hisses . [I]_2342-matt spot a Jaguar driving at [us]_2754-us and with only enough width for [one vehicle]_{2755-one vehicle} and no space to pull in , it ’s a standoff . A string of loud car horns start singing out around [us]_2754-us as [Kate]_2557-kate proceeds forward , knocking [me]_2342-matt all over the place in [the back of [Margo]_1052-margo]_{2756-the back of margo} . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll ram [you]_2557-kate , ’ [she]_950-she warns [Mr Jaguar]_{135-mr jaguar} , smacking [her]_950-she horn repeatedly . ‘_[2342-matt] Is the cake okay ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Yes ! Do n’t [you]_2557-kate dare let [him]_951-him win , ’ [I]_2557-kate yell , landing on [my]_2557-kate backside again . ‘_[2557-kate] Shit ! ’ ‘_[2557-kate] Hang on , only two more to go . ’ ‘_[2557-kate] Oh God ! ’ Two jolts later and probably another two more bruises on [my]_2557-kate behind , [we]_953-we ’re_[2557-kate] double parked and unloading the stupid five tier cake . [Mr Jaguar]_{135-mr jaguar} is honking , cursing and throwing hand gestures all over [the place]_{308-the place} , but [we]_953-we ignore [him]_{135-mr jaguar} . [My]_2342-matt feet are still bare as [I]_2342-matt help [Kate]_2557-kate out with the cake , delivering it into [the massive kitchen of [Mrs Link]_{136-mrs link}]_{954-the massive kitchen of mrs link} , who ’s throwing a sweet sixteen for [[her]_2557-kate daughter]_{955-her daughter} . [I]_2342-matt leave [Kate]_2557-kate to sort the rest and go back to [Margo]_1052-margo to wait for [her]_{955-her daughter} , ignoring the car horns as [I]_2342-matt look for [my]_2342-matt shoes in the back . [They]_956-they could be anywhere . [Noel Gallagher]_{131-noel gallagher} invades [my]_2342-matt eardrums , singing Sunday Morning Call from the front seat and [my]_2342-matt heart – which is currently hammering through exhaustion – starts hammering an excited drum in [my]_2342-matt chest . [I]_2342-matt abandon shoe searching to scramble to the front and answer , ignoring the reasons for [my]_2342-matt keenness to speak to [him]_{131-noel gallagher} . ‘ Hey , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt puff down the phone , jumping out and slumping against the side of [Margo]_1052-margo . [I]_2342-matt ’m fucking knackered ! ‘_[2342-matt] Okay . Now , [I]_2342-matt know it ’s not [me]_2342-matt that ’s worn [you]_957-you out , so do [you]_957-you mind telling [me]_2342-matt who has [you]_957-you puffing and panting like [you]_957-you ’ve been fucked into next week ? ’ [I]_957-you smile . Oh , [his]_957-you voice is a welcome distraction from the fiasco of the last twenty minutes . ‘_[957-you] What ’s with all the car horns ? ’ [he]_{959-an overweight , balding , middle aged businessman approaching with a face like thunder} asks . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m delivering a cake with [Kate]_2557-kate , [we]_2757-we ’re_[2342-matt] blocking [the road]_{2482-the road} . ’ [I]_2342-matt explain , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] distracted by [an overweight , balding , middle aged businessman approaching with a face like thunder]_{959-an overweight , balding , middle aged businessman approaching with a face like thunder} . ‘ Move [the van]_{600-the van} , [you]_{959-an overweight , balding , middle aged businessman approaching with a face like thunder} stupid fucking cow ! ’_{[959-an overweight , balding , middle aged businessman approaching with a face like thunder]} [he]_{959-an overweight , balding , middle aged businessman approaching with a face like thunder} bellows at [me]_2342-matt , waving [his]_{959-an overweight , balding , middle aged businessman approaching with a face like thunder} arms about . Oh shit . [Kate]_2557-kate , hurry up ! ‘ Who the FUCK is that ? ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse yells down the phone . ‘ [No one]_{2594-no one} , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blurt . [Big baldy]_{137-big baldy} kicks [Margo]_1052-margo ’s tyre . ‘ Move it , [bitch]_2557-kate ! ’_{[137-big baldy]} Oh hell , [he]_{137-big baldy} ’s [a mad middle aged , balding man]_{960-a mad middle aged , balding man} . [I]_2342-matt hear [Jesse]_327-jesse growl . ‘ Tell [me]_327-jesse [he]_{137-big baldy} did n’t just say that . ’_[327-jesse] [His]_327-jesse voice is sadistic . ‘ It ’s fine . [Kate]_2557-kate ’s coming now . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt lie on a squeak . ‘ Where are [you]_2557-kate ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t know , somewhere in [Belgravia]_32-belgravia . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt did n’t really take much notice . [I]_2342-matt was too busy being flung around in the back of [Margo]_1052-margo to take notes of street names . [Big baldy]_{137-big baldy} shoves [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Are [you]_2557-kate fucking deaf , [[you]_2557-kate stupid bitch]_2557-kate ? ’_{[137-big baldy]} Oh shit , [he]_{137-big baldy} ’s going to crack [me]_2342-matt one . [I]_2342-matt can hear [Jesse]_327-jesse hyperventilating down the phone , but then [he]_{137-big baldy} ’s gone . [I]_2342-matt glance at [my]_2342-matt screen and see the call has ended . Snapping [my]_2342-matt head up , [I]_2342-matt look towards the steps that lead to [[Mrs Link]_{136-mrs link} ’s house]_{961-mrs link ’s house} , but the front door is still firmly closed . [I]_2342-matt ’m shoved in the back again by [Baldy]_{137-big baldy} . ‘_[2342-matt] Please , give [me]_2342-matt five minutes . ’ [I]_2342-matt plead with the irate twat . If [Kate]_2557-kate was here , [he]_{137-big baldy} would be on [his]_{137-big baldy} arse by now . ‘_[2342-matt] Just move [the fucking shed]_{962-the fucking shed} , [you]_963-you dopey cow ! ’ [he]_{137-big baldy} roars in [my]_2557-kate face , making [me]_2557-kate recoil . [I]_2557-kate run onto [the pavement]_{2745-the pavement} , stepping on every stray stone on [my]_2557-kate way , and up the steps to [Mrs Link]_{136-mrs link} ’s front door . ‘_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate ! ’ [I]_2557-kate knock frantically , turning and smiling sweetly at [Mr Baldy Jag]_{138-mr baldy jag} , earning [myself]_2557-kate another torrent of abuse . [This guy]_{138-mr baldy jag} needs anger management . ‘_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate ! ’ [I]_2557-kate shout , banging again . Car horns are blaring all around , [I]_2557-kate ’ve got the angriest man [I]_2557-kate ’ve ever encountered hurling abuse at [me]_2557-kate , [my]_2557-kate arse is sore and [my]_2557-kate feet are being stabbed by fucking stones ! ‘_[2557-kate] [KATE]_2557-kate ! ! ! ’ [My]_2557-kate throat is bloody sore now too . But then [I]_2557-kate have a thought . Has [she]_2557-kate left the keys in [Margo]_1052-margo ? [I]_2557-kate gingerly run down the steps , back onto [the street]_{945-the street} to check [Margo]_1052-margo ’s ignition , going around the back to avoid baldy . It would seem that [he]_{138-mr baldy jag} ’s not so willing to let [me]_2557-kate evade [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} , though , and [I]_2557-kate collide with [his]_{138-mr baldy jag} fat , sweaty body as [I]_2557-kate reach [the driver]_{2706-the driver} ’s door . ‘_[2557-kate] Oh ! ’ [I]_2557-kate cry , getting a waft of stale body odour . [He]_{138-mr baldy jag} grabs the top of [my]_2557-kate arm , squeezing hard . ‘_[2557-kate] If [you]_2557-kate do n’t move that fucking thing now , [I]_2342-matt ’ll slap [your]_2557-kate skinny arse all over [this street]_{945-the street} . ’ [I]_2342-matt lean back against [the van]_{600-the van} as [he]_{138-mr baldy jag} tightens [his]_{138-mr baldy jag} hold on [my]_2342-matt arm to a point , so painful , [I]_2342-matt want to cry out . [He]_{138-mr baldy jag} ’s [a fucking psycho]_{138-mr baldy jag} ! [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to be bludgeoned on [a posh , leafy residential street in [posh Belgravia]_32-belgravia]_{965-a posh , leafy residential street in posh belgravia} and be plastered all over tomorrow morning ’s news . [I]_2342-matt ’m never going to talk to [Kate]_2557-kate again . [I]_2342-matt feel [my]_2342-matt eyes welling up with panicky tears as [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] pinned to the side of [Margo]_1052-margo with not a clue what to do . This is [an aggressive type]_{966-an aggressive type} – [a wife beater]_{967-a wife beater} , for sure . ‘ Get [your]_2764-your fucking hands off [her]_2557-kate ! ’_{[967-a wife beater]} The roar that pierces the air around [me]_2342-matt , blocking out all car horns and [London]_5-london traffic , makes [my]_2342-matt knees buckle with relief . [I]_2342-matt turn towards the direction of the most welcome voice [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever heard and see [Jesse]_327-jesse running down the middle of [the road]_{2482-the road} , in [his]_327-jesse suit , looking murderous . Oh , thank God ! [I]_2342-matt do n’t know where [he]_327-jesse ’s come from , and [I]_2342-matt could n’t care less . The relief that washes over [me]_2342-matt is overwhelming . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never been so glad to see anyone in [my]_2342-matt life , and the fact that it ’s [a man [I]_2342-matt ’ve known barely a week]_{969-a man i ’ve known barely a week} should be telling [me]_2342-matt something . [Mr Baldy Jag]_{138-mr baldy jag} ’s fat , ugly head snaps up in [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s direction , a deep look of panic instantly invading [his]_{138-mr baldy jag} sweaty features . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_{138-mr baldy jag} grip ease up . Letting go of [me]_2342-matt and stepping back from [Margo]_1052-margo , [he]_{138-mr baldy jag} starts weighing up the mountain of lean tallness that ’s running at full pelt towards [us]_970-us . The intention to scarper is clear on [his]_{138-mr baldy jag} ugly face . [He]_{138-mr baldy jag} does n’t get the chance to , though . [Jesse]_327-jesse charges [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} before [he]_{138-mr baldy jag} sets [his]_{138-mr baldy jag} short legs to work , taking [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} clean from [his]_{138-mr baldy jag} feet and sending [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} crashing to the tarmac . [[My]_2342-matt God]_2383-god ! [I]_2342-matt was wrong . [Baldy]_{138-mr baldy jag} is n’t [the angriest man [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever seen]_{972-the angriest man i ’ve ever seen} . [I]_2342-matt watch as [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s fist collides with [Baldies]_139-baldies face before [he]_{138-mr baldy jag} kicks [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} in the gut , causing [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} to cry out . ‘ Get off [your]_327-jesse fat arse and apologise , ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse yanks [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} up from [the road]_{2482-the road} , presenting [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} to [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [Apologise]_{140-apologise} ! ’_{[138-mr baldy jag]} [he]_{138-mr baldy jag} roars . [I]_2342-matt look at [Baldy]_{138-mr baldy jag} , who ’s huffing and puffing , [his]_{138-mr baldy jag} nose clearly broken , blood dripping down [his]_{138-mr baldy jag} slimy suit . [I]_2342-matt would feel sorry for [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} , if [he]_{138-mr baldy jag} was n’t such [a nasty bastard]_{974-a nasty bastard} . What sort of [man]_678-man does that to [a woman]_{395-a woman} ? ‘ [I]_{138-mr baldy jag} … [I’m]_{138-mr baldy jag} s … sorry . ’_{[138-mr baldy jag]} [he]_{138-mr baldy jag} stutters , looking completely dazed . [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s fisted hand in Baldies jacket shakes [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} . ‘ Lay a finger of [her]_{395-a woman} again , [I]_{138-mr baldy jag} ’ll rip [your]_{138-mr baldy jag} fucking head off , ’_{[138-mr baldy jag]} [His]_{138-mr baldy jag} voice is menacing . ‘ Now , fuck off . ’_{[138-mr baldy jag]} [He]_{138-mr baldy jag} shoves the crumpled heap of a man out of [his]_{138-mr baldy jag} hands and grabs [me]_2342-matt , yanking [me]_2342-matt into [his]_{138-mr baldy jag} chest . [I]_2342-matt fall apart . [I]_2342-matt ’m a stupid blubbering wreck as [I]_2342-matt sob all over [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s expensive suit , while [he]_327-jesse holds [me]_2342-matt in [his]_327-jesse hard , warm chest . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt should have finished [the bastard]_{138-mr baldy jag} off , ’ [he]_327-jesse grumbles . ‘_[2342-matt] Hey , stop the tears , [I]_2342-matt ’ll get crazy mad . ’ [He]_327-jesse spreads [his]_327-jesse palm over the back of [my]_2342-matt head and sighs in [my]_2342-matt hair . ‘_[2342-matt] Where did [you]_{138-mr baldy jag} come from ? ’ [I]_{138-mr baldy jag} mumble into [his]_327-jesse chest . [I]_{138-mr baldy jag} do n’t care , [I]_{138-mr baldy jag} ’m_{[138-mr baldy jag]} just glad [he]_{138-mr baldy jag} ’s here . ‘ [I]_{138-mr baldy jag} was n’t far , and [you]_{138-mr baldy jag} were n’t hard to find . It ’s anarchy back there . Where ’s [Kate]_2557-kate ? ’_{[138-mr baldy jag]} Yes , where is [Kate]_2557-kate ? [Mayhem]_141-mayhem has broken out and [she]_2557-kate ’s still nowhere to be seen . [I]_2342-matt ’m going to kill [her]_2557-kate ! After [I]_2342-matt ’ve had [my]_2342-matt fix of [Jesse]_327-jesse , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to kill [her]_2557-kate . ‘ Hey , what ’s going on ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt emerge from [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s chest and see [Kate]_2557-kate stood at the front of [Margo]_1052-margo , looking rather bewildered . ‘ [I]_327-jesse think [you]_327-jesse need to move [[your]_327-jesse van]_{2765-your van} , [Kate]_2557-kate . ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse advises diplomatically . [He]_327-jesse ’s not even broke a sweat . ‘ Oh , okay . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate shrugs , completely oblivious . [Jesse]_327-jesse pulls back , running [his]_327-jesse eyes down [my]_2342-matt body . ‘ Where are [your]_327-jesse shoes ? ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse asks on a frown , [his]_327-jesse eyes darkening with rage again , clearly thinking [I]_2342-matt lost [them]_977-they in the ruckus with baldy . ‘ [They]_977-they ’re_[327-jesse] in the back of [Margo]_1052-margo , ’ [I]_327-jesse sniffle . ‘_[327-jesse] [The van]_{600-the van} , ’ [I]_2342-matt elaborate , when [his]_327-jesse brow knits in confusion . [He]_327-jesse picks [me]_2342-matt up and carries [me]_2342-matt around to the pavement , sitting [me]_2342-matt on a wall outside [[Mrs Link]_{136-mrs link} ’s house]_{961-mrs link ’s house} . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not even going to ask how [they]_977-they got there . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2557-kate ’ll get them , ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate shouts . [She]_2557-kate bloody should as well . [She]_2557-kate comes running over with [my]_2342-matt heels . ‘ What happened ? ’_[2557-kate] ‘ Where were [you]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask shortly . [She]_2557-kate rolls [her]_2557-kate eyes . ‘ [I]_2557-kate got dragged [upstairs]_{2469-upstairs} for a showing of the party dress . It was way too small and pretty painful to watch . It took them ten minutes to stuff [her]_2557-kate in the thing . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate glances over at [Jesse]_327-jesse , who ’s grabbing [my]_2342-matt bag from [the front seat of [Margo]_1052-margo]_{979-the front seat of margo} . ‘ What happened ? ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate asks again on a whisper . ‘ [He]_327-jesse looks fuming . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ [I]_2342-matt got roughed up by [Mr Jaguar]_{135-mr jaguar} , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt brush the gravel from the bottom of [my]_2342-matt sore soles and put [my]_2342-matt heels on . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse called as it kicked off . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know where [he]_327-jesse came from . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] sorry . ’ [She]_2557-kate sits on the wall and puts an arm around [me]_2557-kate . ‘_[2557-kate] Thank God for [the Lord]_{349-the lord} , ah ? ’ [I]_2557-kate can detect the suggestion in [her]_2557-kate tone . ‘_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate , [you]_{349-the lord} need to shift [that van]_{981-that van} before war breaks out . ’ [He]_327-jesse strolls over with [my]_2342-matt bag , and [I]_2342-matt get to [my]_2342-matt feet . Damn , [they]_{981-that van} hurt . [I]_2342-matt rest [my]_2342-matt bum back down on the wall again . [I]_2342-matt wince . Oh , [my]_2342-matt arse hurts too . [Jesse]_327-jesse frowns when [he]_2342-matt catches [me]_2342-matt flinching . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m taking [Ava]_832-ava with [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt watches [me]_2342-matt shift [my]_2342-matt aching backside on the wall . ‘ [You]_2342-matt are ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blurt . [He]_2342-matt raises [his]_2342-matt eyebrows . ‘ Yes , [I]_2342-matt am , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt retorts in a tone that dares [me]_2342-matt to object . ‘ It ’s fine . [I]_2342-matt can go with [Kate]_2557-kate . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt suggest , anyway . [I]_2342-matt ’ve probably disrupted whatever [he]_2342-matt was doing , with [my]_2342-matt Monday evening drama . ‘ No , [you]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] coming with [me]_2342-matt . ’ [He]_2342-matt spells the words out , [his]_2342-matt lips pressing into a straight line . Yeah , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not arguing with [him]_2342-matt on this . [Kate]_2557-kate does a tennis spectator impression , looking to and fro between [us]_982-us , eventually getting up . ‘ [I]_2557-kate ’ll see [you]_2342-matt at [home]_281-home . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate kisses [my]_2342-matt temple and plants a big kiss on [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s cheek , making [his]_327-jesse eyes bulge and [my]_2342-matt jaw drop . What ’s that all about ? As [she]_2557-kate strolls off towards [Margo]_1052-margo , with absolutely no urgency , [she]_2557-kate looks back , grins and winks . [I]_2342-matt flick a warning stare that [she]_2557-kate completely ignores . [I]_2342-matt look up at the tall , handsome beast in front of [me]_2342-matt – looking edible in [his]_2342-matt grey suit and crisp white shirt – and find sludgy green eyes narrowed on [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Why are [you]_2342-matt flinching ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks . [I]_2342-matt stand up , wincing again when [my]_2342-matt feet take [my]_2342-matt full weight . ‘ [My]_2342-matt backside hurts , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt rub [my]_2342-matt battered bum and reach to take [my]_2342-matt bag from [him]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt was holding [Kate]_2557-kate ’s cake up in the back of [Margo]_1052-margo . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_2557-kate did n’t have a seatbelt on ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No , [you]_2557-kate do n’t get seatbelts in the back of vans , [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt shakes [his]_2342-matt head and picks [me]_2342-matt up , cradling [me]_2342-matt in [his]_2342-matt strong arms , before striding off down [the street]_{945-the street} . [I]_2342-matt sigh heavily and let [him]_2342-matt do [his]_2342-matt thing , resting [my]_2342-matt head against [his]_2342-matt shoulder and wrapping [my]_2342-matt arms around [his]_2342-matt neck . ‘ [You]_2342-matt did n’t call [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt told [you]_2342-matt to call . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt grumbles accusingly . [I]_2342-matt sigh . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sorry . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] So am [I.]_2342-matt ’ [he]_2342-matt says quietly . ‘_[2342-matt] What are [you]_2342-matt sorry for ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] For not being here sooner , ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt were n’t to know . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Well , if [you]_2342-matt had of called , then [I]_2342-matt would have of known [you]_2342-matt planned on doing something so stupid . [I]_2342-matt would have stopped [you]_2342-matt . Do what [you]_2342-matt ’re told next time . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt frown into [his]_2342-matt shoulder and [he]_2342-matt looks down at [me]_2342-matt , as if sensing [my]_2342-matt response to [his]_2342-matt scold . [He]_2342-matt grins , brushing [his]_2342-matt lips on [my]_2342-matt forehead . [My]_2342-matt eyes close . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t ignore it . There ’s definitely something here . And it ’s knocked the wind right out of [my]_2342-matt singleton sails . When [we]_984-we reach the end of [the street]_{945-the street} , [I]_2342-matt look up and see [Jesse ’s Aston Martin]_2342-matt abandoned at an angle , from where [he]_2342-matt clearly could n’t get through the traffic . [A few passersby]_{986-a few passersby} are floating around , admiring [the deserted car]_{987-the deserted car} . [He]_2342-matt drops [me]_2342-matt in the passenger seat and shuts the door before striding around to the front , sliding in behind the wheel and razzing off , leaving the chaos behind [us]_984-we . [I]_2342-matt sit happily admiring [his]_2342-matt profile as [he]_2342-matt dips and weaves through the traffic . [He]_2342-matt ’s just dropped everything and come running to rescue [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’d be lying if [I]_2342-matt said [his]_2342-matt actions were unwelcome . [He]_2342-matt glances over and places [his]_2342-matt hand on [my]_2342-matt knee . ‘ [You]_2342-matt okay , [baby]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile . [I]_2342-matt can feel [myself]_2342-matt slipping more with every minute [I]_2342-matt spend with [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m not sure if that ’s a good or a bad thing . Damn [you]_2342-matt , [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse , of an age [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . [He]_327-jesse pulls up outside [Kate]_2557-kate ’s . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not surprised that [Margo]_1052-margo ’s not arrived [home]_281-home yet . [The man]_2342-matt drives like a loon . [I]_2342-matt let [myself]_2342-matt out of [the car]_{548-the car} , but [I]_2342-matt ’m soon scooped up and carried up [the path]_{2482-the road} to the front door . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt can walk . ’ [I]_2342-matt complain , but [he]_2342-matt ignores [me]_2342-matt , taking [my]_2342-matt keys from [my]_2342-matt hand when [we]_2770-we reach the door and opening it [himself]_2342-matt before kicking it shut behind [us]_2770-we . [I]_2342-matt wriggle and [he]_2342-matt places [me]_2342-matt on [my]_2342-matt feet , [his]_2342-matt hand wrapping around [my]_2342-matt waist , pulling [me]_2342-matt into [him]_990-his . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] lifted so [my]_2342-matt feet leave the ground and [my]_2342-matt lips meet [his]_990-his . [I]_2342-matt sigh , linking [my]_2342-matt arms around [his]_990-his neck , letting [his]_990-his tongue roll around [my]_2342-matt mouth slowly and calmly . [I]_2342-matt ’m screwed if [I]_2342-matt even think [I]_2342-matt can resist [him]_990-his . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] totally fucking screwed . ‘ Thank [you]_991-you for the book . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say against [his]_990-his lips . [He]_990-his leans back , gazing at [me]_2342-matt , [his]_990-his green eyes twinkling with pleasure . ‘ [You]_991-you ’re_[990-his] more than welcome . ’ [He]_990-his drops a chaste kiss on [my]_990-his lips . ‘_[990-his] Thank [you]_991-you for saving [me]_2342-matt . ’ [He]_990-his smiles that cheeky , roguish smile . ‘_[832-ava] Anytime , [baby]_832-ava . ’ The front door flies open and [Kate]_2557-kate bowls in , larger than life , clocking [us]_2771-us in [our]_2771-us embrace . ‘_[832-ava] Sorry . ’ [she]_2557-kate mouths , hastily retreating [upstairs]_{2469-upstairs} to [the flat]_{420-the flat} . [Jesse]_327-jesse laughs lightly and rolls [his]_327-jesse hips into [me]_832-ava , unearthing a delightful drum deep in [my]_832-ava stomach . [My]_832-ava breath hitches as [his]_327-jesse forehead meets [mine]_832-ava . [He]_327-jesse sighs long and hard , [his]_327-jesse minty breath invading [my]_832-ava nose . ‘_[832-ava] If [we]_993-we were alone , [you]_832-ava would be against that wall and [I]_2342-matt would be fucking [you]_832-ava stupid . ’ [He]_327-jesse rolls again , dragging a whimper from [me]_2342-matt as the drumming moves into [my]_2342-matt core . [I]_2342-matt mentally curse [Kate]_2557-kate to Hell . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt can be quiet , ’ [I]_2342-matt whisper . ‘_[2342-matt] Gag [me]_2342-matt if [you]_832-ava must . ’ [He]_327-jesse smirks . ‘_[2342-matt] Trust [me]_2342-matt , [you]_832-ava ’ll be screaming . No gag will stifle it . ’ [My]_2342-matt body convulses . ‘_[2342-matt] Now , tomorrow , ’ [he]_327-jesse says assertively . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’d like to make an appointment . ’ Huh ? An appointment to fuck [me]_2342-matt ? Hey , no appointment necessary ! [He]_327-jesse must catch [my]_2342-matt confusion because [he]_327-jesse starts laughing . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt want [you]_832-ava back at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} so [you]_832-ava can take the details [you]_832-ava really need to start working on some designs . ’ [My]_2342-matt mouth forms an O and [he]_327-jesse leans down , plunging [his]_327-jesse tongue in , attacking [me]_2342-matt with passion . [I]_2342-matt let [him]_327-jesse take [me]_2342-matt with everything [he]_327-jesse has , [my]_2342-matt knees buckling when [he]_327-jesse rolls those damn , delectable hips again . [He]_327-jesse breaks away panting , [his]_327-jesse eyes clenched shut . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t make appointments to fuck [you]_832-ava , [Ava]_832-ava . [I]_2342-matt ’ll be doing that when [I]_2342-matt please . ’ Oh , okay . [He]_327-jesse seems to summon some sort of strength from somewhere before releasing [me]_2342-matt , leaving [me]_2342-matt to stand on [my]_2342-matt own . [I]_2342-matt feel abandoned and weak . [He]_327-jesse removes [his]_327-jesse hooded eyes from [mine]_2342-matt and glances up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , and [I]_2342-matt know [he]_327-jesse ’s cursing [Kate]_2557-kate for being [home]_281-home too . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]_327-jesse ’s just teased [me]_2342-matt with a few delicious thrusts , and now [he]_327-jesse ’s going . [I]_2342-matt ’ve gone from playing it cool , to mentally begging for it . ‘_[2342-matt] [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} at noon . ’ [he]_327-jesse states , reaching up and running [his]_327-jesse finger down [my]_{2335-good girl} cheek . [I]_{2335-good girl} nod . ‘_{[2335-good girl]} [Good girl]_{2335-good girl} . ’ [He]_327-jesse smiles , pushes [his]_327-jesse lips against [my]_{2335-good girl} forehead , turns and strides out . [I]_{2335-good girl} sag against the wall , trying to catch [my]_{2335-good girl} breath . ‘_{[2335-good girl]} Hey , has [the Lord]_{349-the lord} gone ? ’ [I]_{349-the lord} look up to see [Kate]_2557-kate hanging over the banister waving a bottle of wine . Oh , yes . That [I]_{349-the lord} need . Chapter 15 The next morning , [I]_{349-the lord} land in [the office]_{279-the office} with an almighty crash – quite literally . [I]_{349-the lord} ’m_{[349-the lord]} sprawled across the wooden floor , surrounded by boxes , with [Tom]_60-tom ’s running towards [me]_2342-matt , horror plastered all over [his]_60-tom baby face . ‘ Oh God . Are [you]_{349-the lord} okay ? ’_[60-tom] [He]_60-tom reaches down to help [me]_2342-matt up , brushing down [my]_2342-matt black , fitted skirt before beginning on [my]_2342-matt sleeveless blouse . ‘ [I]_60-tom ’m_[60-tom] so sorry . [I]_2342-matt was just moving them into storage . ’ [He]_60-tom flaps around [me]_60-tom like [a mother hen]_{2777-a mother hen} , babbling about health and safety and accident books . ‘_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom , [I]_2342-matt ’m fine . Now , get [your]_60-tom hands off [my]_60-tom tits ! ’_[60-tom] [He]_60-tom quickly withdraws [his]_60-tom flapping hands from [my]_2342-matt breasts , giggling . ‘ Oh , and what lovely breasts they are , [Red Riding Hood]_{142-red riding hood} ! ’_[60-tom] ‘ If [you]_60-tom were n’t gay , [I]_2342-matt would have slapped [you]_60-tom by now . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt warn [him]_60-tom . ‘ Ah , but [I]_60-tom am gay . ’_[60-tom] [he]_60-tom says proudly as [he]_60-tom starts shifting boxes around . ‘ What ’s in the boxes ? ’_[60-tom] ‘ Samples , [Sally]_54-victoria took delivery of [them]_2778-them . [You]_60-tom would ’ve thought [she]_54-victoria ’d have put them in the cupboard . [The girl]_54-victoria ’s useless . ’_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom moans . [I]_2342-matt scan [the office]_{279-the office} and see [Sally]_54-victoria fighting with the photocopier . [She]_54-victoria really is in [a world of]_{999-a world of} [her]_54-victoria own . ‘ Morning , ’_{[54-victoria]} [I]_2342-matt hear [Victoria]_54-victoria before [I]_2342-matt see [her]_54-victoria . ‘ [Tom]_60-tom , [I]_54-victoria ’m_{[54-victoria]} never going out with [you]_1000-i again . ’ [she]_54-victoria hisses at [him]_60-tom , perching [herself]_54-victoria on [her]_54-victoria chair . [I]_54-victoria look to [each of [them]_{2779-each of them}]_{2779-each of them} in turn , waiting for an explanation , but it ’s not forthcoming from either of [them]_{2779-each of them} . ‘_{[54-victoria]} What ’s going on ? ’ [I]_1000-i ask . [Tom]_60-tom shrugs guiltily as [Victoria]_54-victoria takes a long breath , ready to launch into an inch by inch account of [her]_54-victoria grievance . ‘_[1000-i] [He]_1000-i dumped [me]_2342-matt again ! ’ [She]_54-victoria narrows [her]_54-victoria eyes on [Tom]_60-tom accusingly . [I]_1000-i drop [my]_1000-i bag by [my]_1000-i desk and watch as [Victoria]_54-victoria fires all sorts of accusations at a very guilty looking [Tom]_60-tom . ‘_[1000-i] Do n’t ask [me]_2342-matt to come out with [you]_2342-matt ever again , ’ [she]_54-victoria spits , pointing [her]_54-victoria pen at [him]_{1003-the same man} . ‘_[1000-i] Friday , [you]_2342-matt cleared off with [the scientist]_{56-the scientist} , and last night [you]_2342-matt did n’t even have the decency to go [home]_281-home with [the same man]_{1003-the same man} ! ’ ‘_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom ! ’ [I]_60-tom gasp sarcastically . ‘_[60-tom] [I]_2342-matt thought [the scientist]_{56-the scientist} was [[your]_2342-matt soul mate]_{56-the scientist} ? ’ ‘_{[56-the scientist]} [He]_{56-the scientist} still might be , ’ [Tom]_60-tom defends [himself]_{56-the scientist} in a high pitched voice . ‘_{[56-the scientist]} [I]_2342-matt ’m just sampling what ’s on offer before [I]_54-victoria decide on what to invest in . ’_{[54-victoria]} [Victoria]_54-victoria scoffs and swivels [her]_54-victoria chair around , effectively blanking [him]_{56-the scientist} out . [I]_2342-matt sit gingerly , wincing as [my]_2342-matt butt comes to rest on the soft , padded seat that feels more like iron . [I]_2342-matt get [my]_2342-matt phone from [my]_2342-matt bag and find a text from [Kate]_2557-kate . Left early , did n’t want to wake [u]_1004-u in case [u]_1004-u were dreaming of all things [Lord]_1005-lord like ;-) Baroque at 1 ? Have to be back for 2:30 xxx Yes . And daydreams too . [I]_2342-matt start to text back a big , resounding NO to [Kate]_2557-kate ’s lunch offer – [I]_2342-matt ’m seeing [a God]_{74-a god} – but then freeze mid - type . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] supposed to be meeting [Matt]_2342-matt for lunch . [I]_2342-matt slump in [my]_2342-matt chair . [My]_2342-matt mind ’s all over [the place]_{308-the place} at the moment , and [I]_2342-matt ’m not going to try and kid [myself]_2342-matt as to why that is . [I]_2342-matt sit drumming [my]_2342-matt nail on [my]_2342-matt front tooth , trying to work out how [I]_2342-matt can get around this . [My]_2342-matt conclusion ? [I]_2342-matt ca n’t , so [I]_2342-matt text [Kate]_2557-kate first . Sorry , busy busy busy . C u at [home]_281-home . [Ax]_143-ax [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sat twiddling [my]_2342-matt hair as [I]_2342-matt text a lie . [She]_1007-she would go loopy if [she]_1007-she knew [I]_2342-matt had arranged to meet [Matt]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt recommence the drumming of [my]_2342-matt tooth , struggling to decide which man [I]_2342-matt ’m going to be letting down . [Matt]_2342-matt sounded really low and said [he]_2342-matt was n’t okay . [Jesse]_327-jesse wants [me]_2342-matt back at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} to commence design , with the possibility of [some added extras]_{2783-some added extras} . [My]_2342-matt thighs squeeze together at the prospect . [I]_2342-matt pick [my]_2342-matt phone up to call [Matt]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Hey , ’ [he]_2342-matt greets [me]_2342-matt , sounding happier than [I]_2342-matt thought [he]_2342-matt would . Probably not for long , though . ‘_[2342-matt] Hey , listen , something ’s come up . Can [we]_1008-i rearrange ? ’ [I]_1008-i hold [my]_1008-i breath , sinking [my]_1008-i teeth into [my]_1008-i bottom lip as [I]_1008-i wait for [his]_2342-matt response , and yes , [I]_1008-i ’m_[1008-i] twiddling [my]_2342-matt hair . [I]_2342-matt ’m not even really lying . Something has come up . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , please ! ’ [he]_2342-matt begs . [I]_832-ava drop [my]_832-ava lock of hair immediately . The sure , arrogant [Matt]_2342-matt ’s gone again , being replaced with [an uncertain , timid stranger]_{2784-an uncertain , timid stranger} . ‘_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt really need to see [you]_832-ava . ’ [I]_832-ava slump back in [my]_832-ava chair , completely defeated . How can [I]_832-ava not go when [he]_2342-matt hits [me]_832-ava with that ? There must be something seriously wrong . ‘_[832-ava] Sure , ’ [I]_2342-matt sigh . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll see [you]_832-ava at [Baroque]_130-baroque . ’ ‘_[144-brill] [Brill]_144-brill , see [you]_832-ava then . ’ [His]_144-brill self - assured tone has returned . [I]_144-brill busy [myself]_144-brill with emails and checking up on contractor progress . At the same time , [I]_144-brill ’m_[144-brill] thinking of all sorts of excuses [I]_2342-matt can feed [Jesse]_327-jesse . Thank God [I]_2342-matt do n’t have to face [him]_327-jesse , because with [me]_2342-matt and [my]_2342-matt twiddling fingers , [I]_2342-matt ’d be rumbled instantly . [Patrick]_327-jesse comes rolling in at eleven with [Starbucks]_12-starbucks . [I]_2342-matt could kiss [him]_327-jesse . ‘ [Cappuccino]_{146-cappuccino} , extra shot , no sugar or chocolate for [you]_327-jesse , flower . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse clucks [my]_2342-matt cheek , placing [my]_2342-matt coffee on [my]_2342-matt desk . ‘ Do n’t forget [your]_327-jesse appointment with [Mikael]_118-mikael tomorrow . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse perches on [my]_2342-matt desk , and [I]_2342-matt hold [my]_2342-matt breath as it creaks . ‘ No , [I]_2342-matt have n’t . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt push [my]_2342-matt diary across [my]_2342-matt desk for [Patrick]_327-jesse to see the big , bold print . ‘ [Good girl]_{2335-good girl} . How did [you]_{2335-good girl} get on at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blush instantly . [I]_2342-matt did n’t tell [Patrick]_327-jesse about [my]_2342-matt second appointment , but [he]_327-jesse only has to flick through [my]_2342-matt diary to see – which [he]_327-jesse obviously has . ‘ Fine , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt squeak , [my]_2342-matt voice a few notes higher than [my]_2342-matt normal tone , [my]_2342-matt face burning up . [I]_2342-matt will [him]_327-jesse to accept [my]_2342-matt one word , abrupt answer and leave [me]_2342-matt alone . ‘ Jolly good . Keep [me]_327-jesse posted . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse lifts [himself]_327-jesse up from [my]_2342-matt desk and goes about handing out the rest of the coffees . [I]_2342-matt instinctively check underneath for splintered wood or loose screws , puffing [my]_2342-matt cheeks out in relief for both [his]_327-jesse lack of interrogation and for [my]_2342-matt desk ’s wellbeing . With all of [my]_2342-matt distractions , [I]_2342-matt had n’t considered the possibility of [Patrick]_327-jesse finding out about [my]_2342-matt extracurricular activities with [Mr Ward]_327-jesse . This could be tricky . [My]_2342-matt phone alerts [me]_2342-matt of a text . [I]_2342-matt snatch it up quickly , finding a reply from [Kate]_2557-kate . Get the wine xxx [I]_2342-matt look at the clock on [my]_2342-matt computer . Eleven fifteen . [I]_2342-matt would be leaving for [my]_2342-matt noon appointment with [Mr Ward]_327-jesse about now . [I]_2342-matt bite the bullet and pull [his]_327-jesse number up , but instead of calling [him]_327-jesse , [I]_2342-matt ’m a complete shit bag and [I]_2342-matt text [him]_327-jesse . Something important has come up . [We]_2787-we ’ll re - arrange . Ring u later Ax No sooner have [I]_2342-matt placed [my]_2342-matt phone back on [my]_2342-matt desk and untangled [my]_2342-matt finger from [my]_2342-matt hair , the office door opens and a spray of calla lilies are carted in . It ’s [the delivery girl from [Lusso]_66-lusso]_{2788-the delivery girl from lusso} . [I]_2342-matt see [Tom]_60-tom point to [my]_2342-matt desk , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] instantly flooded with guilt . [I]_2342-matt re - slump in [my]_2342-matt chair . [I]_2342-matt ’ve just stood [him]_327-jesse up and [he]_327-jesse ’s sent [me]_2342-matt flowers . Well , [I]_2342-matt ’ve not technically stood [him]_327-jesse up . [I]_2342-matt ’m rearranging a business meeting . [He]_327-jesse ’ll understand . [I]_2342-matt accept the flowers , signing [the delivery girl]_{2544-the delivery girl} ’s paperwork before finding the card . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] looking very forward to [my]_2342-matt appointment . [You]_1009-you should be too . [Jx]_84-jx [I]_2342-matt drop [my]_2342-matt arms on the desk and bury [my]_2342-matt head in them , feeling like a hundred tons of shit . [He]_327-jesse went to all that trouble yesterday , pounding on [Mr Baldy Jag]_{138-mr baldy jag} , rescuing [me]_2342-matt from certain assault , and what do [I]_2342-matt do ? [I]_2342-matt ’m [a complete loser]_{2790-a complete loser} and ditch [him]_327-jesse for [[my]_{1010-a goner} ex]_{462-good lord} . [I]_{1010-a goner} need help . [Good Lord]_{462-good lord} , if [Kate]_2557-kate finds out , [I]_{1010-a goner} ’m_{[1010-a goner]} [a goner]_{1010-a goner} . [I]_2342-matt need to tell [him]_327-jesse to lay off on the flower deliveries to [[my]_2342-matt office]_{1011-my office} , though . It wo n’t be long before [Patrick]_327-jesse starts asking questions . [I]_2342-matt leave at twelve forty five to go and meet [Matt]_2342-matt , after being even more of a shit bag and ignoring ten missed calls from [Jesse]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt ’ve made things worse for [myself]_2342-matt , but [I]_2342-matt gathered , after [I]_2342-matt missed [his]_327-jesse first call due to a genuine toilet break , [his]_327-jesse second because [I]_2342-matt was on [the landline]_{579-the landline} and then it proceeded to persistently ring thereafter , that [he]_327-jesse ’s not very happy . And now [I]_2342-matt ’m also thoroughly fed up with one of [my]_832-ava all - time favourite tracks . When [I]_832-ava arrive , [the bar]_{361-the bar} is busy , but [I]_832-ava spot [Matt]_2342-matt in the corner with drinks already on the table . [He]_2342-matt jumps up when [he]_2342-matt spots [me]_832-ava , smiling brightly . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava ! ’ [He]_2342-matt grabs [me]_832-ava , squeezing [me]_832-ava to [his]_2342-matt chest , throwing [me]_832-ava out completely . [He]_2342-matt ’s never hugged [me]_832-ava like this , even when [we]_2793-we were together . [He]_2342-matt pulls away and plants a kiss on [my]_832-ava cheek , lingering longer than is necessary . ‘_[832-ava] Thanks for coming . [I]_2342-matt got [you]_832-ava a wine , [your]_832-ava favourite . Is that okay ? ’ ‘_[832-ava] Sure , ’ [I]_832-ava smile . A small one wo n’t hurt . [I]_832-ava break away from [him]_2342-matt and settle on a chair opposite . ‘_[832-ava] Is everything okay ? ’ [I]_832-ava ask nervously , [my]_832-ava voice laced with all of the apprehension [I]_832-ava really feel . ‘_[832-ava] [You]_832-ava look nice , ’ [he]_2342-matt says cheerfully on a smile . ‘_[832-ava] Did [you]_832-ava want something to eat ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] No , [I]_2342-matt ’m fine , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt frown at [him]_2342-matt . ‘ [Matt]_2342-matt , what have [you]_832-ava got to tell [me]_2342-matt ? [You]_832-ava said [you]_832-ava were n’t okay . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt ’s acting shifty and nervous , and it ’s making [me]_2342-matt incredibly uncomfortable . [I]_2342-matt take a sip of [my]_2342-matt wine , watching [him]_2342-matt over [my]_2342-matt glass as [he]_2342-matt fidgets and plays with the rim of [his]_2342-matt pint . What ’s eating [him]_2342-matt ? [He]_2342-matt eventually draws a deep breath and leans across the table , placing [his]_2342-matt hand over [mine]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt halt mid - sip , looking down at [his]_2342-matt hand . Realisation hits . Oh , no ! [I]_2342-matt widen [my]_2342-matt eyes on [him]_2342-matt and prey [he]_2342-matt ’s going to tell [me]_2342-matt that [Henry]_147-henry , [the goldfish]_{1013-the goldfish} , is dead . Please be that , instead of what [I]_2342-matt think ’s coming . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt want [you]_832-ava back . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says , firmly and concisely . Well , [I]_2342-matt did n’t see that coming – not until about ten seconds ago . What the hell is wrong with [him]_2342-matt ? [My]_2342-matt glass is still hovering at [my]_2342-matt lips as [he]_2342-matt continues . ‘ [I]_2342-matt was a total twat . [I]_2342-matt do n’t deserve any second chances ... ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scoff . ‘ Second chance ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt drops [his]_2342-matt head in defeat . ‘ Yeah , okay . [I]_2342-matt take [your]_2342-matt point . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt lifts [his]_2342-matt head , [his]_2342-matt face all genuine and soppy . ‘ It would never happen again , [I]_2342-matt promise [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] Is [he]_2342-matt having [me]_2342-matt on ? How many times have [I]_2342-matt heard the same old bullshit ? [He]_2342-matt ’s [a serial cheater]_{1014-a serial cheater} . ‘ [Matt]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sorry , but it ’s never going to happen . ’ [I]_1015-i tell [him]_2342-matt evenly and calmly . [His]_2342-matt eyes widen with surprise . [I]_1015-i shake [my]_1015-i head lightly to re - affirm [my]_1015-i statement . In the space of three seconds , [his]_2342-matt face turns from all sorrowful and hurt , to black and suspicious . ‘_[1015-i] It ’s [her]_1015-i , is n’t it ? ’ [he]_2342-matt spits across the table . It does n’t take [a rocket scientist]_{2794-a rocket scientist} to figure out who [her]_1015-i is . ‘_[1015-i] [She]_1015-i opens [her]_1015-i fat trap and [you]_1016-you listen . When are [you]_1016-you going to start thinking for [yourself]_1016-you ? ’ [I]_1015-i ’m_[1015-i] stunned . In actual fact , [Kate]_2557-kate kept [her]_2557-kate trap shut for four years . [She]_2557-kate made it clear that [she]_2557-kate did n’t like [Matt]_2342-matt , but it never interfered with [our]_1017-our friendship . [I]_2342-matt just kept [them]_1017-our apart . [She]_2557-kate never tried to influence [me]_2342-matt . [She]_2557-kate was just there , like [a true friend]_{1018-a true friend} , when things went tits up . And [they]_1017-our did … often . [I]_2342-matt pull [my]_2342-matt hand from under [his]_{1018-a true friend} and take another calming sip of [my]_2342-matt wine . [He]_{1018-a true friend} does n’t deserve [my]_2342-matt time . [He]_{1018-a true friend} ’s wasted four years of it already , and [I]_2342-matt ’m damned if [he]_{1018-a true friend} ’s robbing [me]_2342-matt of any more . [I]_2342-matt can not believe [I]_2342-matt ’ve dropped [Jesse]_327-jesse for this . ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_1019-you not going to say anything ? ’ [he]_{1018-a true friend} hisses , [his]_{1018-a true friend} eyes beady and harbouring all sorts of contempt . It makes [me]_2342-matt boil a little on the inside . [I]_2342-matt manage to retain [my]_2342-matt temper . ‘_[2342-matt] [Matt]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt ’ve said all [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to say . Was that all [you]_1019-you dragged [me]_2342-matt [here]_314-here for ? ’ [He]_{1018-a true friend} recoils , [his]_{1018-a true friend} eyebrows hitting [his]_{1018-a true friend} hairline . ‘_[1019-you] [You]_1019-you ’re not prepared to give it another try ? ’_[1019-you] ‘ No . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt reply simply . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never made such an easy decision . [He]_2342-matt jumps up from the table in a temper , knocking [his]_2342-matt drink over in the process . ‘ [You]_1019-you ’ll need [me]_2342-matt before [I]_2342-matt need [you]_1019-you . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt laugh in [his]_2342-matt face . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll need [you]_1019-you ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt gather [my]_2342-matt hysteria . ‘ Yeah , that ’s why [you]_1019-you ’re_[2342-matt] here begging [me]_2342-matt to come back , and [I]_2342-matt ’ve told [you]_1019-you where to go . What ’s the matter , [Matt]_2342-matt ? Ran out of birds to shag ? ’ [I]_2342-matt watch as [he]_2342-matt rearranges [his]_2342-matt cheap , black suit and straightens [his]_2342-matt brown , floppy hair . Funny , [I]_2342-matt do n’t find [him]_2342-matt attractive anymore . Actually , [he]_2342-matt makes [my]_2342-matt skin crawl . What did [I]_2342-matt ever see in [him]_2342-matt ? [He]_2342-matt was a habit , that ’s all [he]_2342-matt was – a very bad habit . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt knew it ! ’ [Kate]_2557-kate ’s high pitched screech makes [my]_2342-matt shoulders tense . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt knew [you]_1019-you were seeing [him]_1019-you ! ’ [I]_2342-matt turn and see [her]_2557-kate pretty , pale face is bright red with anger . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , [she]_1021-she ’s come to join the party , ’ [Matt]_2342-matt shoots over [my]_1021-she head . ‘_[1021-she] [You]_1019-you just ca n’t keep [your]_1019-you fucking nose out , can [you]_1019-you ? ’ [I]_1022-i glance around [the bar]_{361-the bar} and notice that [people]_372-people are starting to stare at the little exchange going on , [their]_372-people attention drawn by [Matt]_2342-matt ’s flying pint glass . If [I]_1022-i get the opportunity , [I]_1022-i ’ll save [Kate]_2557-kate the wasted breath and tell [her]_2557-kate exactly what just happened . But [I]_1022-i suppose , after four years of keeping [her]_2557-kate fat trap shut , [I]_1022-i should let [her]_2557-kate have [her]_2557-kate moment . [She]_2557-kate strolls up to [him]_2342-matt , all confident and cocky , [Matt]_2342-matt ’s lips curling into a snarl as [she]_2557-kate gets up close and personal with [him]_2342-matt . ‘_[1022-i] [She]_1022-i does n’t want [you]_1023-you , [you]_1023-you useless sack of shit . ’ [Her]_1022-i tone is controlled and penetrating . ‘_[1022-i] [She]_1022-i ’s got [someone else]_{2416-someone else} , so go and crawl back into the hole [you]_1023-you came from . ’ Oh shit ! Why did [she]_1022-i have to say that for ? [I]_1022-i watch as [Matt]_2342-matt flicks [his]_2342-matt eyes to [me]_1022-i for confirmation , but [I]_1022-i do n’t offer any . [He]_2342-matt hisses and spits a few times before stomping out of [the bar]_{361-the bar} . [Kate]_2557-kate plonks [herself]_2557-kate in the chair opposite [me]_1022-i , narrowing [her]_2557-kate bright blue eyes on [me]_1022-i . [I]_1022-i ’m_[1022-i] immediately on the defense . ‘ [He]_2342-matt said [he]_2342-matt was n’t okay . [I]_1025-i thought [someone]_587-someone had died ! ’_[1025-i] [She]_1025-i shakes [her]_1025-i head . ‘ [I]_1025-i ’m_[1025-i] really mad with [you]_1026-you . ’ [I]_2342-matt scoff and grab [my]_2342-matt wine for a welcome slurp . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m mad at [myself]_1025-i . [I]_1025-i did n’t need [you]_1026-you to say that . Why did [you]_1026-you say that ? ’_[1025-i] [She]_1025-i grins . ‘ Because it was funny . Did [you]_1026-you see [his]_2342-matt face ? ’_[1025-i] Yes , it was a classic . But still , [she]_1025-i ’s throwing around statements that are simply not true . [I]_2342-matt have n’t got [anyone else]_{2416-someone else} ; [I]_2342-matt ’m fucking [someone else]_{2416-someone else} . There ’s a big difference . [My]_2342-matt phone starts ringing , and [I]_2342-matt fish it from [my]_2342-matt bag , finding call number eleven from [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] Who ’s that ? ’ [Kate]_2557-kate asks , cocking [her]_2557-kate head up so [she]_2557-kate can get a glimpse of the screen . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’ [She]_2557-kate frowns . ‘_[327-jesse] Are n’t [you]_327-jesse going to answer ? ’ [I]_2342-matt lean back in [my]_2342-matt chair , letting it ring off . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt cancelled [him]_327-jesse to meet [Matt]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_832-ava grumble . [Kate]_2557-kate ’s jaw drops open . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [you]_832-ava really are very dim at times . And do n’t take this personally , but when [you]_832-ava were with [Matt]_2342-matt , [you]_832-ava dialed down the fun factor so much , [I]_2342-matt was considering breaking up with [you]_832-ava . ’ [I]_2342-matt recoil at [her]_2557-kate speech . ‘_[2342-matt] That ’s a bit harsh , is n’t it ? ’ [She]_2557-kate laughs . ‘_[2342-matt] The truth hurts , does n’t it ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Yes , it does . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_832-ava ’ve been dragged through [the mill]_{1028-the mill} good and proper , so [I]_2342-matt ’m willing to let it go . ’_[832-ava] [She]_832-ava leans forward . ‘ Have some fun . And anyway , [I]_832-ava like [him]_2342-matt . ’_[832-ava] Well , [she]_832-ava made that pretty obvious , and [he]_2342-matt is fun . But [I]_2342-matt know this can only end in tears . [A member of staff]_{1029-a member of staff} approaches with a dust pan and brush , and [I]_2342-matt offer a small apologetic smile , but [I]_2342-matt ’m distracted when [my]_2342-matt phone starts to shout . [I]_2342-matt ignore it … again . [I]_2342-matt need time to think about this . [I]_2342-matt was so overwhelmed yesterday , [I]_2342-matt let a firm chest , hypnotising voice and soft lush lips derail [my]_2342-matt cognitive thinking . Who am [I]_2342-matt kidding ? Every time [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] with [this man]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt ’m derailed and distracted . [He]_2342-matt overwhelms [me]_2342-matt with [his]_2342-matt intensity , knocking all rationality right out of [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Hello , hotty at three o’clock ! Oh , and [he]_2342-matt ’s looking . How ’s [my]_2342-matt hair ? Have [I]_2342-matt got any icing on [my]_2342-matt face ? ’ [Kate]_2557-kate starts frantically brushing [her]_2557-kate cheeks with [her]_2557-kate palms . [I]_1030-i turn to three o’clock and see the guy from [the bar at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor}]_{2356-the manor} . Which one was it ? [Drew]_327-jesse ? No , [Sam]_1914-sam . [He]_1914-sam has a big smile on [his]_1914-sam cheeky face as [he]_1914-sam raises [his]_1914-sam bottle of beer to [me]_1030-i . [I]_1030-i raise [my]_1030-i hand and turn back to [Kate]_2557-kate . ‘_[1030-i] [You]_1030-i know [him]_1030-i ? ’ [she]_2557-kate asks incredulously . ‘_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam , [he]_1030-i was at [The Manor]_310-whoever . [He]_1030-i ’s [a friend of [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s]_{1032-a friend of jesse ’s} . ’ ‘_[1030-i] Fucking hell ! [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s [a member of [the hot gang]_{1033-the hot gang}]_{1032-a friend of jesse ’s} . ’ [She]_2557-kate giggles , [her]_2557-kate eyes widening with excitement . ‘_[327-jesse] Why have [I]_2342-matt never heard of [this place]_310-whoever ? ’ [she]_1034-she asks . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m coming to [your]_2342-matt next site visit . ’_[1034-she] [she]_1034-she ’s says determinedly , and [I]_2342-matt know [she]_1034-she ’s not joking . ‘ Hey , [he]_{1032-a friend of jesse ’s} ’s coming over . Introduce [me]_1034-she , please ! ’_[1034-she] [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head at [her]_1034-she . It ’s one more first date for [her]_1034-she to get [her]_1034-she teeth into . Wait … [I]_2342-matt suddenly panic . Did [he]_{1032-a friend of jesse ’s} see [me]_2342-matt with [Matt]_2342-matt ? Hang on … why am [I]_2342-matt worried about that ? ‘ Hi , [Ava]_832-ava , how are [you]_832-ava ? ’_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam reaches the table , still smiling and flashing that dimple . [He]_1914-sam really is very cute , with [his]_1914-sam unkempt hair and twinkling eyes . [He]_1914-sam ’s in jeans and a t - shirt again . Casual must be [his]_1914-sam thing . ‘ [I]_1914-sam ’m_[1914-sam] good , [Sam]_1914-sam , [you]_1914-sam ? ’ [I]_1914-sam finish [my]_1914-sam wine off . [I]_1914-sam could do with another , but [Patrick]_327-jesse wo n’t appreciate [me]_1914-sam returning to [the office]_{279-the office} half pissed . ‘_[1914-sam] Been [here]_314-here long ? ’ [I]_1914-sam ask casually . ‘_[1914-sam] No , just got here . How ’s [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’ [he]_327-jesse enquires on a grin . Why would [he]_327-jesse think [I]_327-jesse know that ? Has [Jesse]_327-jesse told [him]_327-jesse ? [I]_327-jesse feel [my]_327-jesse face blush , even though [I]_327-jesse ’ve reached the swift conclusion that [he]_327-jesse ’s playing with [me]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse ’s [[Jesse]_327-jesse ’s mate]_327-jesse , [he]_327-jesse should know how [he]_327-jesse is . [I]_327-jesse shrug , because [I]_327-jesse really do n’t know what to say . And , in actual fact , [I]_327-jesse have no idea how [Jesse]_327-jesse is because [I]_327-jesse did n’t turn up for [our]_2801-our appointment . When [I]_327-jesse left [him]_327-jesse yesterday , [he]_327-jesse was firing on all sexual cylinders , and [I]_327-jesse was panting like [a desperate , wanton loser]_{2802-a desperate , wanton loser} . Now , [I]_327-jesse expect , [he]_327-jesse ’s slightly irate that [I]_327-jesse ’ve cancelled [our]_2801-our meeting . [Ha]_65-ha ! What ’s [he]_327-jesse going to do ? Sack [me]_327-jesse ? [He]_327-jesse probably should . It will save [me]_327-jesse all of this brain ache and turmoil . [I]_327-jesse feel a sharp crack on [my]_327-jesse shin and look up to see [Kate]_2557-kate scowling at [me]_327-jesse . ‘_[327-jesse] Oh , [Sam]_1914-sam , this is [Kate]_2557-kate . [Kate]_2557-kate , meet [Sam]_1914-sam . ’ [I]_2557-kate wave [my]_2557-kate hand between [the two of [them]_{2803-the two of them}]_{2803-the two of them} , watching as [Kate]_2557-kate turns all angelic , putting [her]_2557-kate hand out to [Sam]_1914-sam , who grins before clasping it . ‘_[2557-kate] Nice to meet [you]_1914-sam , [Kate]_2557-kate . ’ [he]_1914-sam says smoothly , maintaining [his]_1914-sam grin and running [his]_1914-sam free hand through [his]_1914-sam mousey waves . ‘_[1914-sam] [You]_1914-sam too . ’ [She]_2557-kate arches a brow . [She]_2557-kate ’s a brazen hussy ! [She]_2557-kate ’s flirting with [him]_1914-sam . [She]_2557-kate giggles as [Sam]_1914-sam compliments [her]_2557-kate on [her]_2557-kate wild , red hair , [their]_2804-their hands still linked . [My]_65-ha phone declares a text . To escape the blatant flirting exchange going on in front of [me]_65-ha , [I]_65-ha pick it up and open the message with one eye closed . There better be a GOOD fucking reason for [you]_1914-sam standing [me]_65-ha up . [Someone]_587-someone had better be dying . [I]_65-ha ’m_[65-ha] going out of [my]_2342-matt fucking mind , [lady]_65-ha . NO KISS Ah , [he]_1037-he ’s worried ! [My]_2342-matt heart does an unexpected skip of approval , but then [I]_2342-matt snap [myself]_2342-matt out of [my]_2342-matt pathetic bubble of contentment , reminding [myself]_2342-matt that [I]_2342-matt ’m not answerable to [him]_1037-he . [He]_1037-he certainly likes compliance . Besides , [I]_327-jesse did n’t stand [him]_1037-he up ; [I]_327-jesse delayed a business meeting . [My]_327-jesse poor bloody brain feels like it could explode . What ’s happening to [me]_327-jesse ? [I]_327-jesse put [my]_327-jesse phone on the table and look up to see [Kate]_2557-kate performing the best flirting act [I]_327-jesse ’ve ever witnessed . [She]_2557-kate ’s such a tart , and [their]_2806-their hands are still clasped . [She]_2557-kate drags [her]_2557-kate attention away from [Sam]_1914-sam to look at [me]_327-jesse . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’ [she]_2557-kate asks unashamedly . [I]_327-jesse kick [her]_2557-kate under the table , feeling [Sam]_1914-sam ’s eyes on [me]_327-jesse . [I]_327-jesse ’ll kill [her]_2557-kate . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’ [Sam]_1914-sam asks . ‘_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse just called . [He]_327-jesse ’ll be here in a minute . ’ What ? [Kate]_2557-kate starts laughing like a hyena , earning [her]_2557-kate another boot under the table . Did [Sam]_1914-sam tell [him]_327-jesse [I]_327-jesse was here ? ‘_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt ’d better be off , ’ [I]_2557-kate go to stand . ‘_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate , ’ [I]_2557-kate smile sweetly as [she]_2557-kate gets [her]_2557-kate laughter under control . ‘_[2557-kate] Have n’t [you]_2557-kate got a two thirty appointment ? ’ ‘_[2557-kate] Nope . ’ [She]_2557-kate smiles back , trumping [my]_2557-kate sweetness level . [She]_2557-kate ’s a pain in the fucking arse . [I]_2557-kate narrow [my]_2557-kate eyes on [her]_2557-kate , picking up [my]_2557-kate bag and phone . ‘_[2557-kate] Well , [I]_2342-matt ’ll see [you]_2557-kate later then . It was nice to see [you]_2557-kate again , [Sam]_1914-sam . ’ [He]_1914-sam releases [Kate]_2557-kate ’s hand and kisses [me]_1914-sam on the cheek . ‘_[1914-sam] Yeah , and [you]_2557-kate , [Ava]_832-ava . Keep it real . ’ [I]_2557-kate turn to leave , but swing back around , all straight faced and cool . ‘_[2557-kate] Oh , [Kate]_2557-kate . [Dan]_93-dan ’s back next week . ’ [I]_93-dan toss it into the air like a grenade and wait for the explosion . It takes just a nanosecond for [her]_2557-kate jaw to drop , like a huge lump of lead , to the table . [Ha]_65-ha ! [I]_93-dan fling [her]_2557-kate a don’t - mess - with - [me]_93-dan look and turn on [my]_93-dan heels with immense satisfaction . [My]_93-dan smugness is short lived , though . [Jesse]_327-jesse is stood behind [me]_93-dan , glaring at [me]_93-dan like a rabid dog . [I]_93-dan shrink on the spot ‘_[93-dan] Who ’s dead ? ’ [he]_327-jesse barks . [He]_327-jesse ’s really mad . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt was at work . ’ [I]_2342-matt defend [myself]_2342-matt nervously . [He]_327-jesse scowls at [me]_2342-matt , good and proper . ‘_[2342-matt] And that renders [you]_1038-you incapable of answering [your]_1038-you phone , does it ? ’ [His]_327-jesse voice is dripping with displeasure . Oh yes , [me]_2342-matt not answering [his]_327-jesse calls might be a contributing factor to [his]_327-jesse annoyance . [I]_2342-matt turn and find [Kate]_2557-kate and [Sam]_1914-sam silently observing [our]_2807-our little altercation . [Kate]_2557-kate starts looking anywhere and everywhere but [our]_2807-our direction , and [Sam]_1914-sam struggles to regain control of [his]_1914-sam raised eyebrows , doing a really rubbish job of looking uninterested . [I]_2342-matt sigh , turning back to [Jesse]_327-jesse , who still looks like [he]_327-jesse ’s about to hit something . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt have to get back to work . ’ [I]_2342-matt say , sidestepping [him]_327-jesse and leaving [the bar]_{361-the bar} . This is beyond an over - reaction and dangerously in the realms of controlling and manipulating . Neither of which [I]_2342-matt want . [I]_2342-matt walk out onto [Piccadilly]_{35-piccadilly} and into [the lunchtime crowd]_{2809-the crowd} . [I]_2342-matt know [he]_327-jesse ’s following [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt can feel [his]_327-jesse penetrating green eyes stabbing at [my]_2342-matt back . As [I]_2342-matt turn into [Berkeley Street]_{36-berkeley street} , [the crowd]_{2809-the crowd} thins out , and [I]_2342-matt glance back , finding [him]_327-jesse stalking behind [me]_2342-matt , [his]_327-jesse eyes full of fury . [He]_327-jesse does look delicious in [his]_327-jesse charcoal suit and pale blue shirt , though . [I]_2342-matt huff to [myself]_2342-matt and increase [my]_2342-matt pace . If [I]_2342-matt can make it to [[my]_2342-matt office]_{1011-my office} , [I]_2342-matt ’ll be safe from [his]_327-jesse wrath . There ’s no way [he]_327-jesse would cause a scene at [[my]_2342-matt office]_{1011-my office} , would [he]_327-jesse ? [He]_327-jesse did n’t seem to give two hoots about scolding [me]_2342-matt in front of [Kate]_2557-kate and [Sam]_1914-sam . Can [I]_2342-matt risk it ? [The man]_327-jesse ’s so volatile . Why is [he]_327-jesse behaving like this , anyway ? [I]_2342-matt ’ve only had sex with [the guy]_327-jesse , not married [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt quicken [my]_2342-matt pace , making it through the office door , but no sooner have [I]_2342-matt got to [my]_2342-matt desk , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] hauled from [my]_2342-matt feet on a squeal , and [I]_2342-matt ’m on [my]_2342-matt way back out . ‘_[2342-matt] What the bloody hell are [you]_1039-you doing ? ’ [I]_327-jesse shout at [him]_327-jesse , but [he]_327-jesse ignores [me]_327-jesse , carrying on with [his]_327-jesse long , even strides out of [[my]_327-jesse office]_{279-the office} . [I]_327-jesse brace [my]_327-jesse hands at the bottom of [his]_327-jesse back and look up to see [Tom]_60-tom , [Victoria]_54-victoria and [Sally]_54-victoria , all gawping at [me]_327-jesse being manhandled into [the street]_{945-the street} . Oh God , please let [Patrick]_327-jesse be out of [the office]_{279-the office} . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , fucking hell ! Put [me]_2342-matt down now ! ’ [He]_327-jesse lets [me]_327-jesse slide down [his]_327-jesse front – purposely slow so [I]_327-jesse feel every hard muscle of [his]_327-jesse delicious chest – stopping [me]_327-jesse before [my]_327-jesse feet hit the ground . [He]_327-jesse holds [me]_327-jesse around [my]_327-jesse waist so [my]_327-jesse lips are level with [his]_327-jesse , [his]_327-jesse blatant erection rubbing [me]_327-jesse in just the right spot . [He]_327-jesse ’s mad and turned on ? A treacherous moan escapes [my]_327-jesse lips as [he]_327-jesse pushes [himself]_327-jesse against [me]_327-jesse , breathing [his]_327-jesse hot , minty breath on [my]_327-jesse lips . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] supposed to be bloody mad here . Instead , [I]_2342-matt ’m being held against [my]_2342-matt will – kind of – and wanting to strip [my]_2342-matt captor in front of all of [[my]_2342-matt colleagues]_{437-my colleagues} , who are all squashed at [the office]_{279-the office} door , fighting for the best view . ‘_[2342-matt] Mouth . [You]_1040-you stood [me]_2342-matt up . ’ [He]_327-jesse presses [his]_327-jesse lips to [mine]_2342-matt before [he]_327-jesse pulls away , [his]_327-jesse sludgy eyes softening as [he]_327-jesse looks at [me]_2342-matt expectantly . [I]_2342-matt can hardly tell [him]_327-jesse why [I]_2342-matt cancelled now . [I]_2342-matt imagine [he]_1041-he ’ll go up the wall . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt sigh . Will [he]_1041-he accept that ? [I]_2342-matt need to get back into [the office]_{279-the office} and sort [my]_2342-matt head out . No , [I]_2342-matt need to go [home]_281-home and sort [my]_2342-matt head out , preferably with a bottle of wine . [He]_1041-he shakes [his]_1041-he head mildly , and then [he]_1041-he attacks [my]_2342-matt mouth purposely , right in the middle of [Bruton Street]_{2-bruton street} . [My]_2342-matt fingers thread through [his]_1041-he hair as [I]_2342-matt surrender to [his]_1041-he impossibly addictive mouth , without much thought at all . [He]_1041-he ’s unashamed and oblivious to the hustle and bustle of lunch time pedestrians passing and , quite probably , staring as [he]_1041-he completely consumes [me]_2342-matt . [He]_1041-he swallows [me]_2342-matt up every time . [He]_1041-he thrusts [his]_1041-he groin forward aggressively , coaxing a moan to escape [my]_2342-matt mouth . This is a look - what - [you]_1044-you - missed kiss , and [I]_2342-matt ’m beginning to damn [Matt]_2342-matt to Hell . ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t do it again . ’ [he]_1041-he orders , in a tone that dares [me]_2342-matt to challenge [him]_1041-he . [He]_1041-he releases [me]_2342-matt from [his]_1041-he grip and [my]_2342-matt feet hit the ground , the loss of support causing [me]_2342-matt to stagger forward . [He]_1041-he grabs the top of [my]_2342-matt arm to steady [me]_2342-matt , causing a slight stab of pain to radiate through [me]_2342-matt , snapping [me]_2342-matt out of [my]_2342-matt spellbound state on a sharp inhale . [He]_1041-he drops [my]_2342-matt arm and stands back from [me]_2342-matt , [his]_1041-he soft eyes raging and focused on the scatter of bruises at the top of [my]_2342-matt arm , courtesy of [Mr Baldy Jag]_{138-mr baldy jag} . [His]_1041-he jaw starts ticking , [his]_1041-he chest puffing , as [he]_1041-he stares at [my]_2342-matt arm . All [I]_2342-matt can think about is how lucky [Mr Baldy Jag]_{138-mr baldy jag} is that these bruises were n’t present yesterday . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m fine , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt cover [my]_2342-matt arm with [my]_2342-matt palm in the hope that concealing the offending area might snap [him]_2342-matt out of [his]_2342-matt fuming state . [He]_2342-matt looks positively homicidal . Is [he]_2342-matt mad because [I]_2342-matt have a few bruises ? ‘ [I]_2342-matt need to get back to work . ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt voice is small , nervous even . [He]_2342-matt drags [his]_2342-matt stare from [my]_2342-matt arm , back to [my]_2342-matt eyes , looking at [me]_2342-matt like [I]_2342-matt ’m the offending object . A flash of irritation passes over [his]_2342-matt handsome face as [he]_2342-matt reaches up to rub [his]_2342-matt temples with [his]_2342-matt fingertips . It ’s an obvious sigh of stress . [He]_2342-matt eventually shakes [his]_2342-matt head lightly and stalks off , without another word , leaving [me]_2342-matt standing on [the pavement]_{2745-the pavement} wondering what in [the world]_{516-the world} just happened . [I]_2342-matt look down to the ground , [my]_2342-matt eyes darting about , like [I]_2342-matt might find the answer written in chalk on the slabs . Is that it ? Is it over ? The look on [his]_2342-matt face said it is . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not sure how [I]_2342-matt feel about that . One second [he]_2342-matt ’s thrusting [his]_2342-matt hips into [me]_2342-matt on a moan , the next [he]_2342-matt ’s looking at [me]_2342-matt in pure irritation . What am [I]_2342-matt supposed to make of this ? [I]_2342-matt really do n’t know . [I]_2342-matt shake [myself]_2342-matt out of [my]_2342-matt reverie and head back into [the office]_{279-the office} . The silence is awkward , [everyone obviously pretending to look busy]_{1046-everyone obviously pretending to look busy} . ‘ [You]_{1046-everyone obviously pretending to look busy} okay ? ’_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom asks , slowly passing [my]_2342-matt desk . [I]_2342-matt look up , seeing [his]_60-tom usual nosey expression is dotted with concern . ‘ [I]_60-tom ’m_[60-tom] fine . Not a word to [Patrick]_327-jesse . ’ It comes out harsher than [I]_2342-matt intended . ‘_[2342-matt] Of course , [I]_2342-matt ’ll say no more . ’ [He]_60-tom holds [his]_60-tom hands up in defense . Fuck ! All [I]_2342-matt need is [Patrick]_327-jesse to find out that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] caught up with [a client]_{2741-a client} . [I]_2342-matt should have been stronger and resisted [his]_{2741-a client} advances . [I]_2342-matt ’m really not very comfortable with how [I]_1048-i feel right now . [I]_1048-i think … [I]_1048-i think it ’s somewhere in the realms of … abandonment ? Chapter 16 [I]_1048-i practically crawl through the front door in an exhausted heap . [I]_1048-i find [Kate]_2557-kate in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , hanging out of the window having a cheeky fag . ‘_[1048-i] [You]_1048-i need to pack that in . ’ [I]_2342-matt scorn [her]_2557-kate . [She]_2557-kate does n’t smoke much , just a couple here and there , but it ’s a bad habit , nevertheless . [She]_2557-kate takes a last drag and throws it out of the window before hastily climbing down from [the worktop]_{2614-the worktop} . ‘_[2342-matt] It helps [me]_2342-matt think . ’ [She]_2557-kate defends [herself]_2557-kate . Yes , [she]_2557-kate claims this whenever [I]_1049-she catch [her]_2557-kate having a sneaky puff . Now , [I]_1049-she ’m_[1049-she] supposed to ask what [she]_1049-she ’s thinking about , but [I]_2342-matt already know the answer to that question . ‘ Where ’s the wine ? ’_[1049-she] [She]_1049-she grabs [my]_2342-matt bag from [me]_2342-matt , pulling it open , before looking at [me]_2342-matt in disgust . [I]_2342-matt ’ve just committed a cardinal sin – [I]_2342-matt forgot the wine . [I]_2342-matt shrug . [I]_2342-matt ’ve had other things on [my]_2342-matt mind . ‘ Sorry . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_1049-she ’ll go to [the shop]_{2819-the shop} , [you]_1049-she get changed . [Fish]_148-fish and chips ? ’_[1049-she] [She]_1049-she grabs [her]_1049-she purse from the table as [she]_1049-she shoves [her]_1049-she feet in [her]_1049-she flip flops . ‘ Just chips . ’_[1049-she] [I]_2342-matt make [my]_2342-matt way down [the hall]_{2496-the hall} to [[my]_2342-matt bedroom]_{2495-my bedroom} . [I]_2342-matt feel completely deflated . [I]_2342-matt sit with [Kate]_2557-kate on the couch , picking at the chips on [my]_2342-matt plate . [I]_2342-matt have absolutely no appetite , and [I]_2342-matt ’m only half watching the re - run of [Friends]_2512-friends . [My]_2342-matt mind is all over [the place]_{308-the place} , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] so furious with [myself]_2342-matt for letting it be . ‘ Come on then , spit it out . ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate demands . [I]_2342-matt turn to face [[my]_2342-matt fiery friend]_1052-margo with a chip half way to [my]_2342-matt mouth . [I]_2342-matt was an idiot if [I]_2342-matt thought [I]_2342-matt could get away with mooding in peace . [I]_2342-matt give [her]_2557-kate a non - committal shrug , popping the chip in [my]_2342-matt mouth and chewing lazily . Talking about it will only emphasise the fact that [I]_2342-matt am actually mooding over it – “ it ” being [a man]_{340-a man} . ‘ [You]_{340-a man} like [him]_{340-a man} . ’_{[340-a man]} Yes , [I]_2342-matt do . [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to , but [I]_2342-matt do . ‘ [He]_{340-a man} ’s bad news . [You]_{340-a man} saw [him]_{340-a man} today . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt grumble . [She]_2557-kate makes a dramatic display of rolling [her]_2557-kate eyes and throwing [herself]_2557-kate back on the sofa . ‘ [You]_{340-a man} stood [him]_{340-a man} up for [[your]_{340-a man} ex - boyfriend]_{2822-your ex - boyfriend} , ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate puts [her]_2557-kate plate on the coffee table in front of the sofa . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , what did [you]_832-ava expect ? ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt frown at [her]_2557-kate . ‘ [He]_{340-a man} did n’t know why [I]_2342-matt stood [him]_{340-a man} up . As far as [he]_{340-a man} ’s concerned , [I]_2342-matt just stood [him]_{340-a man} up . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Well , [he]_{340-a man} does n’t like being stood up then , does [he]_{340-a man} ? [She]_2557-kate laughs . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , by the way , [I]_2342-matt ’m seething with [you]_832-ava . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate turns all serious . What have [I]_2342-matt done ? Oh , yes . [She]_2557-kate must be talking about [my]_2342-matt little Dan grenade . ‘ Would [you]_832-ava have preferred it if [I]_2557-kate had n’t of told [you]_832-ava ? ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt ask . ‘ [You]_832-ava ’ve not left [me]_2557-kate much time to leave [town]_2823-town ! ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate wails at [me]_2342-matt . Oh , the drama ! ‘ [You]_832-ava ’re_[2557-kate] overreacting . [You]_1054-he do n’t have to see [him]_1054-he . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] No , [I]_2342-matt do n’t . And [I]_2342-matt wo n’t ! ’ ‘_[2342-matt] That ’s okay then , is n’t it ? ’ [I]_1914-sam go for subject change . ‘_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam ? ’ [I]_1054-he raise [my]_1054-he eyebrows . ‘_[1054-he] Is n’t [he]_1054-he yummy ? [Jesse]_327-jesse came back to [the bar]_{361-the bar} – with a face like thunder , by the way – so [I]_2342-matt left [them]_{361-the bar} to it . [He]_1054-he took [my]_2342-matt number . ’ ‘_[1914-sam] [You]_1914-sam ’re a tart [Kate Matthews]_2557-kate ! ’_[1914-sam] ‘ [I]_1056-she know ! ’_[1056-she] [she]_1056-she shrieks . ‘ How were things left with [the Lord]_2557-kate ? ’_[1056-she] [She]_1056-she looks at [me]_2342-matt carefully , weighing up [my]_2342-matt reaction to [her]_1056-she question . ‘ [He]_1054-he was still mad , [he]_1054-he stormed off . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shrug . [She]_1056-she smiles . ‘ [He]_1054-he ’s pretty intense . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt start laughing . ‘ Pretty ? [I]_1054-he lose all cognitive thought when [I]_1054-he ’m_[1054-he] around [him]_1054-he . When [he]_1054-he touches [me]_2342-matt , it ’s like [I]_2342-matt hand over all control of [my]_2342-matt mind and body to [him]_1054-he . It ’s frightening . ’ ‘_[1054-he] Wow . ’ ‘_[1054-he] Yes , it ’s pretty wow . ’ [She]_1056-she turns back to the television . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt like [him]_1054-he , ’ [she]_1056-she says quietly , almost like [she]_1056-she ’s afraid to admit it , like it ’s wrong to like [him]_1054-he . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m just saying . ’_[1056-she] [She]_1056-she shrugs but does n’t look at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [He]_1054-he ’s rich , steaming hot and obviously well into [you]_2342-matt . [A man]_{340-a man} does n’t behave like that when [he]_1054-he ’s just fucking about , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[1056-she] Well , that may be so , but it does n’t change the fact that [he]_1054-he ’s cleared off and [my]_2342-matt phone has n’t rang since . It ’s probably a good thing . ‘ Do [you]_2342-matt fancy a proper night out on Saturday ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . It ’s a stupid question that [I]_2342-matt already know the answer to . The look [she]_1056-she fires [me]_2342-matt is mischievous . [I]_2342-matt grin back at [her]_1056-she . The next day , [I]_2342-matt breeze into [the Royal Park hotel]_{1057-the royal park hotel} at twelve fifteen , all set for [my]_2342-matt appointment with [Mikael Van Der Haus]_118-mikael . [I]_2342-matt ’m directed into a snug sitting area with plush sofas . Gilded frames swamp the walls and a carved fire place dominates [the room]_{2350-the room} . It ’s typically regal . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] offered tea which [I]_2342-matt decline in favour of water . It ’s bloody hot , and [my]_2342-matt black pencil dress is clinging to [me]_2342-matt . Twenty minutes later , [Mr Van Der Haus]_{117-mr van der haus} enters looking impeccable . [He]_{117-mr van der haus} ’s really very handsome . [He]_{117-mr van der haus} smiles brightly at [me]_2342-matt , revealing a perfect row of white teeth . What is it with [me]_2342-matt and [older men]_{1058-older men} at the moment ? [I]_2342-matt hastily bat away [my]_2342-matt wayward thoughts . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , please accept [my]_2342-matt apologies . [I]_2342-matt never like to keep [a lady]_{2826-a lady} waiting . ’_[2342-matt] [His]_{117-mr van der haus} mild Danish accent is only just detectable but really sexy . Stop ! [I]_2342-matt rise from [my]_2342-matt seat as [he]_{117-mr van der haus} approaches , putting [my]_2342-matt hand out to [him]_{117-mr van der haus} with a smile . [He]_{117-mr van der haus} takes [my]_2342-matt hand , but shocks [me]_2342-matt when [he]_{117-mr van der haus} leans forward and kisses [me]_2342-matt on the cheek . Okay , that ’s slightly inappropriate , but [I]_2342-matt ’ll go with it . Maybe it ’s a Danish thing . [Ha]_65-ha ! [I]_2342-matt would do well to remember what happened that last time [a male client]_{1059-a male client} kissed [me]_2342-matt on a first meeting . ‘ [Mr Van Der Haus]_{117-mr van der haus} , it ’s not a problem . [I]_2342-matt ’ve not long arrived [myself]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt reassure [him]_{117-mr van der haus} . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , this is [our]_2827-our second project together . [I]_{117-mr van der haus} know [you]_{117-mr van der haus} dealt with [[my]_{117-mr van der haus} partner]_{761-my partner} on [Lusso]_66-lusso , but [I]_{117-mr van der haus} will be involved in [The Life Building]_{2829-the life building} a lot more , so please , call [me]_{117-mr van der haus} [Mikael]_118-mikael . [I]_{117-mr van der haus} hate formality . ’_{[117-mr van der haus]} [He]_{117-mr van der haus} takes a seat in the chair opposite [me]_2342-matt , crossing [his]_{117-mr van der haus} long legs . ‘ So , [I]_{117-mr van der haus} ’m_{[117-mr van der haus]} looking forward to going through ideas with [you]_1060-you soon . ’ Huh ? Is n’t that why [I]_{117-mr van der haus} ’m_{[117-mr van der haus]} here now ? ‘ Yes , [I]_{117-mr van der haus} have n’t really had the opportunity to research the development yet . [I]_{117-mr van der haus} was hoping [you]_1060-you would give [me]_{117-mr van der haus} a brief and a week to get some ideas rolling . ’_{[117-mr van der haus]} ‘ Of course ! ’_{[117-mr van der haus]} [he]_{117-mr van der haus} laughs . ‘ [I]_{117-mr van der haus} ’m_{[117-mr van der haus]} being very rude dragging [you]_1060-you [here]_314-here at such short notice , but [I]_2342-matt ’m flying back to [Denmark]_37-denmark on Friday . [I]_{117-mr van der haus} have [your]_1060-you email . [I]_{117-mr van der haus} shall send [you]_1060-you the specific requirements . [You]_1060-you did such a good job at [Lusso]_66-lusso . It really does lighten the pressure when [you]_1060-you work with [proficient people]_{2830-proficient people} . ’_{[117-mr van der haus]} [He]_{117-mr van der haus} smiles . Is n’t [he]_{117-mr van der haus} going to give [me]_2342-matt the specifics now ? That ’s why [I]_2342-matt ’m here , is n’t it ? ‘_[2342-matt] [We]_1062-we could have a quick chat now . ’ [I]_832-ava prompt . [He]_{117-mr van der haus} sits for a while , regarding [me]_832-ava quietly , before leaning forward in [his]_{117-mr van der haus} chair . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt hope [you]_832-ava do n’t think [I]_2342-matt ’m being audacious , [you]_832-ava see … well , how can [I]_{117-mr van der haus} put it ? ’_{[117-mr van der haus]} [He]_{117-mr van der haus} drums [his]_{117-mr van der haus} fingers on [his]_{117-mr van der haus} chin . [I]_2342-matt ’m a little worried . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m afraid [I]_{117-mr van der haus} ’ve brought [you]_832-ava here under false pretenses . ’_{[117-mr van der haus]} [He]_{117-mr van der haus} laughs nervously , shifting in [his]_{117-mr van der haus} chair . ‘ Oh , how so ? ’_{[117-mr van der haus]} [I]_2342-matt ask baffled . And then it hits [me]_2342-matt . Oh , no ! Oh , no , no , no ! [I]_2342-matt lean back in [my]_2342-matt chair , instantly tensing from top to toe , and mentally beg [the Lord Almighty]_{149-the lord almighty} to talk some sense into [him]_{149-the lord almighty} before [he]_{149-the lord almighty} says what [I]_2342-matt think [he]_{149-the lord almighty} ’s going to say . ‘ [I]_{149-the lord almighty} would like to ask [you]_832-ava to join [me]_{149-the lord almighty} for dinner . ’_{[149-the lord almighty]} [He]_{149-the lord almighty} looks at [me]_2342-matt expectantly , and [I]_2342-matt ’m sure [my]_2342-matt face must resemble that of complete horror . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] burning up . ‘ Tomorrow evening , if it ’s convenient with [you]_832-ava , of course . ’_{[149-the lord almighty]} [he]_{149-the lord almighty} adds . Shit ! What do [I]_2342-matt say ? If [I]_2342-matt say no , [he]_{149-the lord almighty} might withdraw [his]_{149-the lord almighty} business from [Rococo Union]_{8-rococo union} , and [Patrick]_327-jesse will go spare . What is it with [men]_2420-men suddenly falling at [my]_2342-matt feet ? [Older men]_{1058-older men} in particular ? [He]_{149-the lord almighty} ’s way past [Jesse]_327-jesse in terms of age . At least , [I]_2342-matt think [he]_{149-the lord almighty} is . [He]_{149-the lord almighty} ’s very good looking , but good [God]_68-god , [he]_{149-the lord almighty} ’s got to be twenty years older than [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt inwardly laugh . At least [he]_{149-the lord almighty} has n’t got [me]_2342-matt locked in [a suite]_{1065-a suite} [upstairs]_{2469-upstairs} . How do [I]_2342-matt play this ? ‘ [Mr Van Der Haus]_{117-mr van der haus} … ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Mikael]_118-mikael , please . ’_{[149-the lord almighty]} [he]_{149-the lord almighty} interrupts [me]_2342-matt with a smile . ‘ [Mikael]_118-mikael , [I]_{149-the lord almighty} ’m_{[149-the lord almighty]} not sure mixing business with pleasure is a good idea . It ’s kind of a rule for [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m very flattered . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt laugh at [my]_2342-matt own audacity . Since when has that been an issue of late ? And why did [I]_2342-matt say pleasure ? [I]_2342-matt ’ve assumed , and suggested , that it would be pleasurable to have dinner with [him]_{149-the lord almighty} . It might not be , or it very well could be . Oh God ! [I]_2342-matt mentally throw [myself]_2342-matt into the lovely fireplace . ‘ Oh , that is a shame , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_{[149-the lord almighty]} [he]_{149-the lord almighty} sighs . ‘ Yes , it is . ’_{[149-the lord almighty]} [I]_2342-matt agree , re - launching [myself]_2342-matt back into the hearth when [he]_{149-the lord almighty} looks up in surprise . [He]_{149-the lord almighty} leans forward . ‘ [I]_{149-the lord almighty} admire [your]_832-ava professionalism . ’_{[149-the lord almighty]} ‘ Thank [you]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m bloody blushing again . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hope this wo n’t affect [our]_1067-our business relationship , [Ava]_832-ava . [I]_2342-matt very much look forward to working with [you]_832-ava . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m looking forward to working with [you]_832-ava too , [Mikael]_118-mikael . ’_{[149-the lord almighty]} [He]_{149-the lord almighty} lifts [himself]_{149-the lord almighty} from the couch , approaching [me]_2342-matt with [his]_{149-the lord almighty} hand stretched out . Thank God ! [I]_2342-matt take it , letting [him]_{149-the lord almighty} gently shake it . Did [he]_{149-the lord almighty} really just drag [me]_2342-matt [here]_314-here to ask [me]_2342-matt to dinner ? [He]_{149-the lord almighty} could have called [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_{149-the lord almighty} shall endeavor to email [you]_832-ava at [my]_{149-the lord almighty} earliest opportunity . Once [I]_{149-the lord almighty} return from [Denmark]_37-denmark , [I]_{149-the lord almighty} would like to show [you]_832-ava around [the building]_{390-the building} . Until then , [you]_832-ava can draft some schemes . [I]_{149-the lord almighty} ’ve had the drawings sent to [[your]_832-ava office]_{2832-your office} , and [I]_{149-the lord almighty} ’ll email [you]_832-ava the specifics . ’_{[149-the lord almighty]} ‘ Thank [you]_832-ava , [Mikael]_118-mikael . Enjoy [your]_832-ava trip . ’_{[149-the lord almighty]} ‘ Goodbye , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_{[149-the lord almighty]} [His]_{149-the lord almighty} long legs take [him]_{149-the lord almighty} out of the snug . Well , that was uncomfortable . [I]_2342-matt sit and finish [my]_2342-matt water while deliberating over [my]_2342-matt current emotional turmoil . If [Jesse]_327-jesse was as gracious as [Mikael]_118-mikael , then [I]_2342-matt would n’t be feeling so shitty right now . Never mixing business and pleasure has never been a rule because [I]_2342-matt ’ve never had to make one . In the space of two weeks , [I]_2342-matt ’ve had [two wealthy and very handsome clients]_{1069-two wealthy and very handsome clients} pursue [me]_2342-matt . One [I]_2342-matt ’ve declined , the other [I‘ve]_1070-i‘ve caved in on . And , as a result , [I]_2342-matt ’m all over [the place]_{279-the office} . Not mixing business and pleasure is now a firm rule and one [I]_2342-matt intend to stick to . Not that [I]_2342-matt need to reinforce it . [Mikael]_118-mikael took [my]_2342-matt decline rather graciously and [Jesse]_327-jesse has n’t called since abandoning [me]_2342-matt . Abandoning ? By two thirty , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] back in [the office]_{279-the office} . [I]_2342-matt do n’t mention to [Patrick]_327-jesse the strangeness of [my]_2342-matt meeting with [Mikael Van Der Haus]_118-mikael , mainly because [I]_2342-matt ’m concerned that , in the name of business , [he]_327-jesse ’ll demand [I]_2342-matt go to dinner with [him]_327-jesse . [Patrick]_327-jesse will assume it would be a business dinner , but [Mikael]_118-mikael made it perfectly clear that there would be no business involved . Instead , [I]_2342-matt just mention emails , drawings and [his]_327-jesse intention to show [me]_2342-matt [the building upon [his]_327-jesse return from [Denmark]_37-denmark]_{2833-the building upon his return from denmark} . This seems to keep [him]_327-jesse happy . [I]_2342-matt get [my]_2342-matt phone from [my]_2342-matt bag , noting no missed calls . [I]_2342-matt ignore the pang of disappointment and start making a few notes on Scandinavian design . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt ’ll be basing [my]_2342-matt design around clean , white , easy living , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] comforted by the fact that it will be tranquil and warm , not sparse and cold . [My]_2342-matt phone rings and [I]_2342-matt grab it , way too hastily . It ’s [Kate]_2557-kate . ‘ Hi . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt greet in an over the top , chirpy voice . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know why [I]_2342-matt bother . [She]_2557-kate sees straight through it . ‘ [Faking detachment]_{2834-faking detachment} , are [we]_{2834-faking detachment} ? ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate asks . ‘ Yes . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ [I]_2557-kate thought so . Have [you]_2557-kate not heard from [him]_{2834-faking detachment} ? ’_[2557-kate] ‘ No . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ Liking monosyllables today , huh ? ’_[2557-kate] ‘ Yes . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate sighs heavily down the phone . ‘ Whatever . Have [you]_2557-kate asked [Victoria]_54-victoria and [Gayboy]_150-gayboy if [they]_2835-they ’re_[2557-kate] up for Saturday night ? ’ ‘_[2557-kate] No . [I]_2342-matt will , though . [I]_2342-matt ’ve just got back from a very strange meeting . ’ [I]_2342-matt open [my]_2342-matt top drawer to grab a paperclip , noticing the calla lily squished down the side of [my]_2342-matt stapler . ‘_[2342-matt] Strange how ? ’ [She]_2557-kate ’s intrigued . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt went to meet [the developer of [Lusso]_66-lusso]_{460-one of them} , well , [one of [them]_{460-one of them}]_{460-one of them} . [He]_{460-one of them} asked [me]_2342-matt to dinner . It was really uncomfortable . ’ [I]_{460-one of them} grab the lily and chuck it in the bin quickly . [She]_2557-kate laughs down the phone at [me]_{460-one of them} . ‘_{[460-one of them]} How old is [this one]_{410-this one} ? ’ [I]_{410-this one} bristle at [her]_2557-kate insinuation . [He]_{460-one of them} ’s much older than [Jesse]_327-jesse . How much older is unknown , but [he]_{460-one of them} ’s definitely older . [I]_{410-this one} ’ll probably never know now , though . ‘_{[410-this one]} Mid - forties [I]_2342-matt guess , but extremely handsome , in a Scandinavian kinda way . ’ [I]_1074-you shrug to [myself]_1074-you while guiding [my]_1074-you mouse aimlessly around the screen . [He]_{460-one of them} ’s nowhere near [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s league , but [he]_{460-one of them} ’s handsome , nonetheless . ‘_[1074-you] [You]_1074-you ’re like [a mature man magnet]_{2836-a mature man magnet} at the moment . Are [you]_1074-you going ? ’_[1074-you] ‘ No ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt screech . ‘ Why would [I]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Why not ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t see [her]_1075-she , but [I]_2342-matt know [she]_1075-she has a questioning eyebrow arched . ‘ No , [I]_1075-she ca n’t , because [I]_1075-she have a new rule … no mixing business with pleasure . ’_[1075-she] ‘ MOVE ! ’_[1075-she] [she]_1075-she screams , making [me]_2342-matt jump at [my]_2342-matt desk . ‘ Sorry , some prat just cut [me]_1075-she up . No mixing business with pleasure , ah ? ’_[1075-she] ‘ Yes . Are [you]_1074-you driving and talking on [your]_1074-you mobile , [Miss Matthews]_{151-miss matthews} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt challenge [her]_1075-she . [I]_2342-matt know [Margo]_1052-margo does n’t have a hands free kit . ‘ Yeah , [I]_2342-matt ’d better beat feet . See [you]_1074-you at [home]_281-home . And do n’t forget to tell [Gay boy]_{2838-gay boy} and [Victoria]_54-victoria the plans for Saturday . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ What are the plans ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blurt before [she]_1075-she hangs up . ‘ Get drunk , [Baroque]_130-baroque , eight o’clock . ’_[1075-she] Get drunk . Yes , that ’s a very good plan . [I]_2342-matt leave [the office]_{279-the office} at six with [Tom]_60-tom and [Victoria]_54-victoria . ‘ Saturday night , [Guys]_2839-guys ? ’_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom stops abruptly , dramatically putting [his]_60-tom palms out with a shocked expression on [his]_60-tom smooth , baby face . ‘ Oh [my]_54-victoria God , yes ! [I]_54-victoria brought the most amazing coral shirt at lunch time . It ’s divine ! ’_{[54-victoria]} [Victoria]_54-victoria giggles , slapping [his]_60-tom arse to push [him]_60-tom onwards . ‘ Where are [we]_2839-guys going ? ’_[1075-she] [she]_1075-she asks . ‘ Baroque at eight . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt answer . ‘ [We]_2839-guys ’ll see where the night takes [us]_2839-guys . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_1075-she ’m_[1075-she] in ! ’ [Victoria]_54-victoria sings at [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] But no gay joints , [Tom]_60-tom . It ’s [my]_2342-matt turn to pull . ’ [she]_1075-she grumbles [Tom]_60-tom frowns . ‘_[2342-matt] What about [me]_2342-matt ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt ’ve had [your]_2342-matt feed . It ’s [my]_2342-matt turn , ’ [she]_1075-she spits , ‘_[2342-matt] Besides , what about [the scientist]_{56-the scientist} ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt know , science is actually very boring . ’ [he]_{56-the scientist} grumbles . [We]_2839-guys say [our]_2839-guys goodbyes at [Green Park Station]_{38-green park station} . [I]_2342-matt take [Jubilee]_152-jubilee to [Central]_39-central , while [Victoria]_54-victoria and [Tom]_60-tom hop on [Piccadilly]_{35-piccadilly} . Chapter 17 ‘_[2342-matt] Morning , ’ [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt sound like a miserable cow , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] trying really hard not to be . [Tom]_60-tom looks up from [his]_60-tom copy of [Interiors Weekly]_{153-interiors weekly} and lowers [his]_60-tom glasses to the end of [his]_60-tom nose . ‘ [Darling]_78-darling , why the long face ? ’_[60-tom] [he]_60-tom asks . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t even muster up the energy to plaster on a fake smile . [I]_2342-matt slump in [my]_2342-matt chair , and [Tom]_60-tom ’s sprawled across [my]_2342-matt desk , like mature ivy , within a second . ‘ Here , this will cheer [you]_78-darling up . ’_[60-tom] [He]_60-tom presents [me]_2342-matt with a feature in the magazine [he]_60-tom ’s reading and there , sat casually on the velvet chaise lounge at [Lusso]_66-lusso , is [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Wonderful , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt sigh . [I]_2342-matt do n’t even bother reading it . [I]_2342-matt need to eradicate all things relating to [Lusso]_66-lusso from [my]_2342-matt mind . ‘ Man trouble ? ’_[60-tom] [He]_60-tom gives [me]_2342-matt a look of sympathy . No , [not man]_{1078-not man} trouble – there ’s [no man]_{1079-no man} to be having trouble with . [I]_2342-matt sulk . [I]_2342-matt knew it would be the last time [I]_2342-matt saw [him]_60-tom . When [he]_60-tom stalked off , [I]_2342-matt knew deep down that [I]_2342-matt would n’t see [him]_60-tom again . [I]_2342-matt ’ve not been checking [my]_2342-matt phone every ten minutes , [I]_2342-matt ’ve not been mooding over it and [I]_2342-matt ’m not twiddling [my]_2342-matt hair as [I]_2342-matt think this . [I]_2342-matt reluctantly admit … [I]_2342-matt really miss [him]_60-tom . How ridiculous . [He]_60-tom was a rebound fuck . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m fine , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt find the strength to slap a smile on [my]_2342-matt face . ‘ It ’s Friday , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] looking forward to getting plastered tomorrow night . ’ [I]_154-fabulous need a good night out . ‘_{[154-fabulous]} Are [we]_1080-we really getting plastered ? [Fabulous]_154-fabulous ! ’ [My]_154-fabulous attention is turned to [the office entrance]_{2840-the office entrance} when [I]_154-fabulous hear the high pitched screech of [Victoria]_54-victoria . ‘_{[154-fabulous]} Oh … [my]_2342-matt … God ! [You]_2342-matt will not believe what [I]_2342-matt just saw . ’ [She]_363-irene ’s on the verge of passing out . [Tom]_60-tom and [I]_2342-matt both look at [her]_363-irene blankly . ‘_[2342-matt] What ? ’ [we]_1080-we ask in unison . ‘_[2342-matt] So , [I]_2342-matt was in [Starbucks]_12-starbucks , waiting for [my]_2342-matt double shot cappuccino with extra chocolate , and [this guy]_{138-mr baldy jag} walks in – [I]_2342-matt recognise [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} from somewhere . [I]_2342-matt ’m not sure where , but [he]_{138-mr baldy jag} ’s one hot piece of [man]_678-man . Anyway , [he]_{138-mr baldy jag} ’s just stood there , minding [his]_{138-mr baldy jag} own , and [this woman]_363-irene comes strutting in and tips a frappuccino all over [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} , ’_[1082-her] [She]_1082-her pauses to draw breath . ‘ So , [the woman]_363-irene starts screaming at [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} , calling [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} a lying , selfish arsehole , and then just walks out , leaving [him]_{138-mr baldy jag} dripping in frozen coffee and cream . It was all very dramatic . ’_[1082-her] [I]_2342-matt sit and watch as [Victoria]_54-victoria recovers from [her]_1082-her two breath commentary about the happenings of Starbucks on a Friday morning . Nothing like that ever happens when [I]_2342-matt ’m in there . ‘_[2342-matt] It sounds like [someone]_587-someone ’s been [a naughty boy]_{1084-a naughty boy} , ’ [Tom]_60-tom smirks . ‘_{[1084-a naughty boy]} How hot was [he]_{1084-a naughty boy} ? ’ [I]_1085-we roll [my]_1085-we eyes . No doubt [Tom]_60-tom would have flown to [his]_60-tom rescue . [Victoria]_54-victoria hands come up in front of [her]_1082-her , palms forward . ‘_[1085-we] [We]_1085-we ’re talking [Men]_2420-men ’s Vogue . ’_[1085-we] ‘ No ! ’_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom takes [his]_60-tom glasses off . ‘ Is [he]_60-tom still there ? ’_[1082-her] [She]_1082-her screws [her]_1082-her pretty little face up . ‘ No . ’_[1082-her] Oh , this is ridiculous . [Patrick]_327-jesse comes barrelling into [the office]_{279-the office} . ‘ [Guys]_2839-guys , have [we]_1085-we any work to do , or is it fart around Friday ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse passes [us]_1085-we swiftly , heading into [[his]_327-jesse office]_{279-the office} and shutting the door behind [him]_327-jesse . ‘ [You]_327-jesse two , let ’s get on with some work , shall [we]_1085-we ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shoo them away from [my]_2342-matt desk . ‘ Oh , [I]_60-tom forgot . ’_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom swings around . ‘ [Van Der Haus]_118-mikael called to say [he]_60-tom ’ll be back in [London]_5-london on Monday . [He]_60-tom ’ll call [you]_327-jesse upon [his]_60-tom return . [He]_60-tom ’s emailing [you]_327-jesse the specifics and had these sent over . Is [he]_60-tom hot ? ’_[60-tom] [His]_60-tom eyebrows jump up suggestively as [he]_60-tom hands [me]_2342-matt an envelope . [He]_60-tom ’s the biggest gay tart , but [I]_2342-matt ’ll humour [him]_60-tom . ‘ Very . ’_[60-tom] [I]_2342-matt take the drawings , widening [my]_2342-matt eyes for affect . [He]_60-tom screws [his]_60-tom face up . ‘ How come [you]_327-jesse get [all the dishy clients]_{2845-all the dishy clients} ? ’_[60-tom] [He]_60-tom walks back to [his]_60-tom desk . ‘ What [I]_60-tom would n’t give to have an Adonis walk in [here]_314-here and throw [me]_60-tom over [his]_60-tom shoulder . ’_[60-tom] [I]_2342-matt wince at [Tom]_60-tom ’s referral to [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s performance the last time [I]_2342-matt saw [him]_60-tom and pull [my]_2342-matt phone out of [my]_2342-matt bag when it starts bleeping with a calendar reminder . Oh , [my]_2342-matt hairdresser ’s appointment , tomorrow at noon . [I]_2342-matt forgot about that . Well , that ’s improved [my]_2342-matt mood slightly . And [I]_2342-matt ’ll be nicely groomed for [our]_1087-our big night out . Perfect . [I]_2342-matt work [my]_2342-matt way through heaps of quotations , delivery schedules and contractor requirements , before calling [[my]_2342-matt live clients]_{1088-my live clients} to check all is well . It is , apart from [Mrs Peters]_{155-mrs peters} swags and tails drama . An email lands from [Mikael]_118-mikael . [I]_2342-matt scan it quickly , deciding to look at it in more detail on Monday . [Sally]_54-victoria comes scuttling up to [my]_2342-matt desk with a delivery . ‘ [Urm]_156-urm … [I]_54-victoria think this may be for [you]_156-urm , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_{[54-victoria]} [She]_54-victoria shifts from side to side with a box in [her]_54-victoria hand . ‘ Do [you]_156-urm want it ? What ? Yes , [I]_54-victoria want it . If it ’s a delivery for [me]_54-victoria , then [I]_54-victoria guess [I]_54-victoria want it . Oh , [this girl]_832-ava is painfully anxious . [I]_54-victoria take the box from [her]_832-ava hands . ‘_{[54-victoria]} Thank [you]_1089-you , [Sally]_54-victoria . Will [you]_1089-you make [Patrick]_327-jesse a coffee ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt did n’t know [he]_327-jesse wanted one . ’ Oh , the panic on [her]_832-ava face has [me]_2342-matt wanting to make [her]_832-ava a coffee . ‘_[2342-matt] Well , [he]_327-jesse does n’t look right . Let ’s look after [him]_327-jesse . ’ ‘_[327-jesse] Is [he]_327-jesse okay ? [He]_327-jesse ’s not ill , is [he]_327-jesse ? ’ ‘_[327-jesse] No , but [I]_2342-matt think [he]_327-jesse could do with a coffee . ’ [I]_2342-matt press , trying [my]_2342-matt hardest not to lose [my]_2342-matt patience . ‘_[2342-matt] Of course . ’ [She]_832-ava scuttles off , [her]_832-ava brown plaid skirt swishing around [her]_832-ava court shoes . [I]_327-jesse could n’t even hazard a guess at [her]_832-ava age . [She]_832-ava looks about forty , but intuition tells [me]_327-jesse [she]_832-ava ’ll shock [me]_327-jesse and be nearer [my]_327-jesse age . [I]_327-jesse open the box and find all of the material swatches [I]_327-jesse ordered for [The Life Building]_{2829-the life building} . [I]_327-jesse throw the box under [my]_327-jesse desk . [I]_327-jesse ’ll deal with [them]_2848-them on Monday too . As six o’clock approaches , [I]_327-jesse pop [my]_327-jesse head around [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s door . [He]_327-jesse really does n’t look right . ‘_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse , [I]_2342-matt ’m off . Are [you]_327-jesse okay ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse looks up from [his]_327-jesse computer and smiles , but [his]_327-jesse eyes do n’t sparkle like usual . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] just feeling a little peaky , flower . ’ ‘_[327-jesse] [You]_327-jesse should go [home]_281-home . ’ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] worried . ‘ [I]_327-jesse think [I]_327-jesse will . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse heaves [his]_327-jesse big body up from behind [his]_327-jesse desk and turns [his]_327-jesse computer off . ‘ [Bloody woman]_{2849-bloody woman} ’s fed [me]_327-jesse something dodgy . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse mutters as [he]_327-jesse picks up [his]_327-jesse briefcase . ‘ Everything ’s been turned off . [You]_2850-you just need to set the alarm . ’_[327-jesse] ‘ That ’s good . Have a good weekend , flower . [I]_327-jesse ’ll see [you]_2850-you on Monday . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse wipes the back of [his]_327-jesse hand over [his]_327-jesse sweating brow . There ’s definitely something wrong . ‘ Okay , see [you]_2850-you on Monday . ’_[327-jesse] * * * [I]_2342-matt stand in [[my]_2342-matt bedroom]_{2495-my bedroom} ready to go . [My]_2342-matt hair is behaving – happy that it ’s been blow dried into tumbling waves , courtesy of [Philippe]_157-philippe , [my]_2342-matt hairdresser – and the new dress [I]_2342-matt picked up from [Selfridges]_{158-selfridges} was a panic buy to make [me]_2342-matt feel better but fits perfectly . It ’s black , short and very tight . With dramatic , smudged eyes and nude lips , [I]_2342-matt ’m looking pretty sultry . [I]_2342-matt walk into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , finding [Kate]_2557-kate hanging out of the window having a sneaky fag . What ’s [she]_2557-kate thinking about now ? [She]_2557-kate looks [her]_2557-kate usual lovely self , in a cream backless dress . ‘_[2342-matt] Wow ! ’ [she]_2557-kate blurts . ‘_{[587-someone]} [Someone]_587-someone ’s out to impress tonight . ’ [She]_2557-kate jumps down from [the worktop]_{2614-the worktop} , slipping [her]_2557-kate feet into [her]_2557-kate gold heels . ‘_{[587-someone]} Short enough ? ’ [I]_159-pot arch an eyebrow at [her]_2557-kate , running [my]_159-pot eyes down [her]_2557-kate dress . ‘_[159-pot] [Pot]_159-pot … ’ [She]_2557-kate laughs [her]_2557-kate carefree laugh that never fails to bring a smile to [my]_159-pot own face . ‘_[159-pot] Here . ’ [She]_2557-kate hands [me]_159-pot a glass of wine . [I]_159-pot take it gratefully , pretty much necking it . It ’s very welcome . ‘_[159-pot] [The taxi]_{597-the taxi} ’s here . ’ [I]_159-pot dump [my]_159-pot empty on the side and follow [Kate]_2557-kate out to [the taxi]_{597-the taxi} . [I]_159-pot ’m_[159-pot] looking forward to [my]_2342-matt recovery night , but ignoring the fact that [my]_2342-matt recovery night is to recover from a few steamy encounters with [a steamy male]_{1094-a steamy male} , and not to recover from the breakdown of [my]_2342-matt four year relationship with [Matt]_2342-matt . It ’s ironic . [I]_2342-matt never felt the need to go out and get steaming drunk after [my]_2342-matt break up with [Matt]_2342-matt . [We]_1095-we walk into [Baroque]_130-baroque , spotting [Tom]_60-tom and [Victoria]_54-victoria at [the bar]_{361-the bar} immediately . ‘ What the hell ? ’_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom exclaims , running [his]_60-tom eyes up and down [my]_2342-matt black clad body on a grin . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [you]_832-ava look lethal ! ’_[60-tom] ‘ Really good , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_{[54-victoria]} [Victoria]_54-victoria adds . It ’s just a dress . ‘ Thanks , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shrug , pulling the hem down . ‘ What are [you]_832-ava having ? ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate asks . Well , [I]_2342-matt ’ve already had a glass of wine , so [I]_2342-matt guess [I]_2342-matt should stick . [I]_2342-matt did say [I]_2342-matt was going to have a good drink . ‘ [Rose]_160-rose , but make sure it ’s [Zinfandel]_{161-zinfandel} , please . ’_[2342-matt] [Kate]_2557-kate orders the drinks , and [we]_1097-we make [our]_1097-we way to a tall table near [the DJ]_{1098-the dj} . [Tom]_60-tom ’s wearing [his]_60-tom new coral shirt and too tight jeans – [he]_60-tom may as well have gay tattooed on [his]_60-tom forehead , and [Victoria]_54-victoria looks as pretty as always . [Everyone]_282-everyone ’s really made an effort tonight , [me]_2342-matt included . Why is that ? As the wine flows down , [my]_2342-matt troubled thoughts flow away . [We]_1097-we ’re laughing and chatting , and [I]_1097-we ’m_[1097-we] beginning to feel normal again . [I]_2342-matt feel foot loose and fancy free . [I]_2342-matt like it . [[My]_2342-matt Mum]_577-mum has always said “ [Alcohol]_162-alcohol makes for loose lips and loose lips sink ships ” . This , [I]_2342-matt have just discovered , is most certainly true because [I]_2342-matt ’m totally lit up , and [I]_2342-matt ’ve filled [everyone]_282-everyone in on recent events . Considering [I]_2342-matt wanted to forget about it , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] doing a bloody good job of hanging on to the memories . [Tom]_60-tom is thrilled about all of the rebound sex [I]_2342-matt ’ve had . ‘ So , [he]_60-tom just stalked off and [you]_2853-you have n’t seen [him]_60-tom since ? ’_[60-tom] [he]_60-tom asks critically . [Victoria]_54-victoria pipes up . ‘ That ’s really un - cool . ’_{[54-victoria]} [Kate]_2557-kate rolls [her]_2557-kate eyes , looking at [the pair]_{1101-the pair} like [they]_{1101-the pair} ’re a sandwich short of a picnic . ‘_{[1101-the pair]} Is n’t it obvious ? ’ [she]_2557-kate huffs . [Tom]_60-tom and [Victoria]_54-victoria look at each other , then to [me]_{1101-the pair} . [I]_{1101-the pair} shrug . Is what obvious ? [Kate]_2557-kate shakes [her]_2557-kate head . ‘_{[1101-the pair]} [You]_1102-you lot are dense . It ’s simple … [he]_60-tom wants [her]_2557-kate . [No man]_{1079-no man} behaves like that over a quick screw . [I]_2342-matt ’ve told [you]_1102-you this , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ ‘_[60-tom] Why would [he]_60-tom disappear then ? ’ [Victoria]_54-victoria leans in , truly captivated by [Kate]_2557-kate ’s explanation for [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s behaviour . ‘_[60-tom] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know ! [I]_2342-matt ’m just saying . [I]_2557-kate ’ve witnessed the chemistry . It ’s way off the scales . ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate flops back on [her]_2557-kate tall chair in complete exasperation . [I]_2342-matt laugh . [I]_2342-matt ’m not sure if it ’s too much wine , but that ’s just … funny . ‘_[2342-matt] It does n’t matter . [He]_60-tom was a rebound fuck and that ’s it . ’ [My]_60-tom explanation does n’t seem to satisfy because [they]_2854-they all carry on studying [me]_60-tom with doubtful looks on [their]_2854-they faces . [I]_60-tom do n’t even think [I]_60-tom ’m_[60-tom] satisfied with [my]_2342-matt explanation , but it ’s been four days and [I]_2342-matt ’ve resisted the overwhelming temptation to call [him]_60-tom . Besides , [he]_60-tom has n’t called [me]_2342-matt or made any further appointments , so that pretty much says it all . [I]_2342-matt ’m moving on . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] just massively pissed off with [myself]_2342-matt for relenting to [his]_60-tom persistence , putting [him]_60-tom in the position to drop [me]_2342-matt – and [he]_60-tom has . ‘ Oh , can [we]_2855-we change the subject , please ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt snap . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] out to enjoy [myself]_2342-matt , not to analyse the details of [my]_2342-matt rebound fuck . ’ [Tom]_60-tom stirs [his]_60-tom pina colada . ‘_[1104-your] [You]_1104-your know , everything happens for a reason . ’ ‘_[1104-your] Oh , do n’t start with all that airy fairy crap ! ’ [Kate]_2557-kate chides [him]_60-tom . ‘_[1104-your] It does . [I]_2342-matt ’m a firm believer in it . [Your]_1104-your rebound fuck is a stepping stone to the love of [your]_1104-your life . ’_[60-tom] [He]_60-tom winks at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ And [Matt]_2342-matt was a four year stepping stone . ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate points out . ‘ To stepping stones , ’_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom sings . [Kate]_2557-kate joins the toast . ‘ And shots ! ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt finish [my]_2342-matt wine and raise [my]_2342-matt glass in agreement . ‘ Yes , shots ! ’_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom shouts , dancing off to [the bar]_{361-the bar} . [We]_1106-we sway down [the road]_{2482-the road} to [[our]_1106-we next destination]_{1108-our next destination} , [The Blue Bar]_{361-the bar} . [We]_1106-we make it past [the doormen]_{1109-the doormen} , although [one]_1110-one does eye [Tom]_60-tom ’s shirt suspiciously . [Tom]_60-tom and [Victoria]_54-victoria charge for the dance floor when [they]_1111-they hear [Flo Rida]_{163-flo rida} and [Sia]_164-sia singing about [Wild Ones]_{165-wild ones} , leaving [Kate]_2557-kate and [I]_2342-matt to get the drinks . [I]_2342-matt order a round and take [Tom]_60-tom and [Victoria]_54-victoria ’s over , putting [them]_1111-they on a ledge nearby under [their]_1111-they instruction . The dancing is that serious ; [they]_1111-they could be some time . When [I]_2342-matt join [Kate]_2557-kate back at [the bar]_{361-the bar} , [she]_2557-kate ’s talking to [a man]_{340-a man} . [She]_2557-kate does n’t know [him]_{340-a man} . [I]_2342-matt can tell because [she]_2557-kate ’s notched up [her]_2557-kate flirting by a few gears . As [I]_2342-matt approach , [she]_2557-kate raises [her]_2557-kate voice over the music . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , this is [Greg]_166-greg . ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt smile , putting [my]_2342-matt hand out politely . [He]_{340-a man} looks normal enough . ‘ Hi , nice to meet [you]_832-ava , ’_{[340-a man]} ‘ Yeah , and [you]_832-ava . This is [[my]_{340-a man} mate]_166-greg , [Alex]_167-alex . ’_{[340-a man]} [He]_{340-a man} signals to [a cute , dark haired guy next to [him]_{340-a man}]_{1114-a cute , dark haired guy next to him} . ‘ Hi , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout . [He]_{340-a man} smiles confidently . ‘ [You]_832-ava wanna drink ? ’_{[340-a man]} ‘ No , thanks , [I]_2342-matt ’ve just got one . ’_[2342-matt] Rule number one : Never accept drinks from [strangers]_{2592-strangers} . [Dan]_93-dan ’s drilled it into [me]_2342-matt since [I]_2342-matt started going out . ‘ Nah problem , ’_{[340-a man]} [He]_{340-a man} shrugs . [Kate]_2557-kate and [Greg]_166-greg move away from [us]_1116-us , leaving [me]_2342-matt and [Alex]_167-alex to make conversation . [I]_2342-matt did n’t really want this . [I]_2342-matt came out to be rid of [men in general]_{1117-men in general} . Now [I]_2342-matt ’ve been lumbered with one . ‘ What do [ya]_2856-ya do ? ’_[167-alex] [Alex]_167-alex asks [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Interior design , [you]_167-alex ? ’_[167-alex] ‘ [Estate agent]_{2857-estate agent} , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt inwardly groan . [I]_2342-matt have [an aversion to estate agents]_{1118-an aversion to estate agents} – [cocky , over confident , gold plated salesmen]_{1119-cocky , over confident , gold plated salesmen} . [Alex]_167-alex is all of these , with the added bonus of a dodgy cockney accent . ‘ Nice . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say , because [he]_167-alex ’s just lost all of [my]_2342-matt interest , not that there was any in the first place . ‘ Yeah , got [myself]_167-alex a few grand bonus taday . Give [me]_167-alex a shit pit and [I]_167-alex ’ll sell it , nah problem . [I]_167-alex ’m_[167-alex] living it large in [Landon]_168-landon and laving it . ’ Oh God , slime ball ! ‘_[1120-my] [Ya]_1120-my fancy going out samtime ? ’ NO ! ‘_[2342-matt] Thanks , but [I]_2342-matt ’m in a relationship . ’_[2342-matt] It ’s a good job [Cockney]_169-cockney does n’t know [me]_2342-matt and [my]_2342-matt bad habit . [I]_2342-matt ’m twiddling [my]_1120-my hair frantically . ‘_[1120-my] [Ya]_1120-my sure ? ’ [he]_167-alex asks , inching closer and stroking [my]_1120-my arm . [I]_1120-my pull away , planning [my]_1120-my escape . ‘_[1120-my] Positive . ’ [I]_1120-my smile sweetly , looking around for [Kate]_2557-kate . Within the space of time it takes [me]_1120-my to raise [my]_1120-my glass to [my]_1120-my lips , [Cockney]_169-cockney quickly disappears from [my]_1120-my line of vision . It takes [me]_1120-my a few seconds to piece together the events that are unfolding before [my]_1120-my eyes , but when [I]_1120-my do , [I]_1120-my ’m_[1120-my] appalled . [Jesse]_327-jesse has [Cockney]_169-cockney in a firm grip around [his]_327-jesse neck and pinned up against a pillar . Chapter 18 ‘ Keep [your]_2858-your fucking hands to [yourself]_2858-your . ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse snarls at a poor , startled [Cockney]_169-cockney . [He]_327-jesse does n’t know what ’s hit [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt feel bad ; [he]_327-jesse was only trying [his]_327-jesse luck . [I]_2342-matt would have dealt with it . Where did [he]_327-jesse come from ? This is all [I]_2342-matt need on [my]_2342-matt night out , supposedly free from [arrogant men]_{1121-arrogant men} . Or not so , it would appear . [He]_327-jesse ’s left [me]_2342-matt for four days wondering what happened , and now [he]_327-jesse ’s turned up , out of the blue , raging like a wild bull . Has [he]_327-jesse even calmed down from Tuesday ? ‘ [I]_{1122-sorry mate} ’m_{[1122-sorry mate]} [sorry mate]_{1122-sorry mate} . [I]_2342-matt did n’t mean any offence . [[Your]_1123-your girlfriend]_{1124-your girlfriend} and [I]_2342-matt were just chatting about shit , [ya]_1125-ya know . ’ [Cockney]_169-cockney explains , completely panicked . [Girlfriend]_{121-girlfriend} ? Oh ! [I]_{1124-your girlfriend} want to advise poor cockney that [I]_{1124-your girlfriend} ’m_{[1124-your girlfriend]} not even [the girlfriend of the maniac]_{1124-your girlfriend} pinning [him]_{1124-your girlfriend} up by [his]_{1124-your girlfriend} throat , but judging by [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s obvious mood , [I]_2342-matt ’ll decline at the risk of pissing [him]_{1124-your girlfriend} off further . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse , let go of [him]_{1124-your girlfriend} , [he]_{1124-your girlfriend} was n’t doing anything . ’_{[169-cockney]} [Cockney]_169-cockney looks at [me]_2342-matt gratefully . [He]_{1124-your girlfriend} knows [I]_2342-matt ’m stretching the truth . A few more seconds , and [I]_{1124-your girlfriend} ’m_{[1124-your girlfriend]} pretty sure [I]_2342-matt would have been throwing a drink over [him]_{1124-your girlfriend} . [I]_2342-matt gently stroke [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s arm in an attempt to calm [him]_{1124-your girlfriend} down , ignoring [his]_{1124-your girlfriend} warm firmness . [He]_{1124-your girlfriend} looks like [he]_{1124-your girlfriend} could explode with anger . [I]_2342-matt ’m pissed . How dare [he]_{1124-your girlfriend} turn up and trample all over [my]_2342-matt recovery night . ‘_[2342-matt] What ’s going on ? ’ [Kate]_2557-kate arrives next to [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Nothing , ’ [I]_327-jesse snap . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , let [him]_{1124-your girlfriend} go . ’ [He]_{1124-your girlfriend} does n’t appear to be listening . What am [I]_327-jesse supposed to do with this ? [I]_327-jesse do n’t want to see [him]_{1124-your girlfriend} . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] feeling derailed already , and [he]_{1124-your girlfriend} has n’t even looked at [me]_2342-matt yet . [I]_2342-matt can hardly walk away and leave [poor Cockney]_169-cockney to bear the brunt of [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s unjustified rage . Where the bloody hell has [he]_{1124-your girlfriend} been for four days ? [I]_2342-matt ’m beyond relieved when [Sam]_1914-sam turns up on the scene . ‘_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam , please sort [your]_1126-your twat of [a friend]_{2645-a friend} out , ’ [I]_1914-sam turn towards [Kate]_2557-kate . ‘_[1914-sam] Come on . ’ [Kate]_2557-kate ’s eyes light up like The Blackpool Illuminations at [Sam]_1914-sam ’s unexpected arrival . [I]_1914-sam hear [Sam]_1914-sam calmly coaxing [Jesse]_327-jesse from [Cockneys]_170-cockneys throat as [I]_1914-sam drag [Kate]_2557-kate away , heading for [the dance floor]_{2859-the dance floor} . ‘_[1914-sam] What was all that about ? ’ [she]_2557-kate asks . ‘_[1914-sam] Do n’t . What happened to [Greg]_166-greg ? ’ ‘_[166-greg] [He]_166-greg was a total dick . Come on , let ’s dance . ’ [Tom]_60-tom and [Victoria]_54-victoria welcome [us]_2860-us with waving arms as [we]_2860-us join [them]_2860-us on [the dance floor]_{2859-the dance floor} . [I]_166-greg ’ve been thrown off guard by [Jesse]_327-jesse turning up . Is this a coincidence , or did [he]_166-greg know [I]_166-greg would be [here]_314-here ? How could [he]_166-greg know ? [I]_166-greg was having a great night , not having thought about [him]_166-greg for at least an hour . That ’s a record for the last four days . Damn it ! [I]_166-greg push [Jesse]_327-jesse out of [my]_166-greg mind and soon let [The Source]_{2862-the source} & [Candi Staton]_{171-candi staton} take [me]_166-greg to a better place . [I]_166-greg love this track . After half an hour and a string of some great tracks , [I]_166-greg have n’t seen or heard from [Jesse]_327-jesse . [Sam]_1914-sam must have ejected [him]_166-greg , or maybe [the doormen]_{1109-the doormen} did . Either way , [I]_166-greg ’m_[166-greg] free to resume the great night it had been up until [Jesse]_327-jesse crashed in . [I]_2342-matt signal to [Kate]_2557-kate that [I]_2342-matt ’m going to [the toilet]_{440-the toilet} , smiling when [she]_2557-kate acknowledges with a shimmy and a laugh . As [I]_2342-matt exit [the cubicle]_{2865-the cubicle} , [I]_2342-matt fish [my]_2342-matt nude lipstick out of [my]_2342-matt bag to re - apply , and check [my]_2342-matt phone to find ten missed calls from [Jesse]_327-jesse . What ? Oh , [he]_327-jesse ’s angry all right . But what on [earth]_944-earth has [he]_327-jesse got to be mad about ? Any pangs of [Jesse]_327-jesse withdrawal have been extinguished by [his]_327-jesse unreasonable behaviour . Who does [he]_327-jesse think [he]_327-jesse is ? [I]_2342-matt do n’t dwell on it , though . [I]_2342-matt clear the missed calls , making [my]_2342-matt way back to [the dance floor]_{361-the bar} , only to find the others making [their]_2868-their way to [the bar]_{361-the bar} . ‘_[2342-matt] Drink ! ’ [Tom]_60-tom clenches [his]_60-tom throat in an exaggerated signal of thirst . It ’s [Victoria]_54-victoria ’s round . As [I]_2342-matt wait for [her]_54-victoria to get served , a wave of unease washes over [me]_2342-matt . [He]_{1128-that guy} ’s still here . [I]_2342-matt know it . [She]_54-victoria hands [me]_2342-matt [my]_2342-matt drink , [her]_54-victoria mouth gaping open . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh … [my]_2342-matt … God ! ’ [I]_2342-matt take [my]_2342-matt wine . ‘_[2342-matt] What ? ’ ‘_{[1128-that guy]} [That guy]_{1128-that guy} , the one in Starbucks [I]_2342-matt was telling [you]_{1128-that guy} about , ’ [she]_54-victoria explains , nodding over [my]_{1128-that guy} shoulder . ‘_{[1128-that guy]} There [he]_{1128-that guy} is . [I]_2342-matt told [you]_{1128-that guy} [he]_{1128-that guy} was yummy . ’ [I]_2342-matt turn in the direction of [Victoria]_54-victoria ’s stare and find [her]_54-victoria looking at [Sam]_1914-sam . But that ’s not what catches [my]_2342-matt attention . Every fine air on the back of [my]_2342-matt neck prickles when [I]_2342-matt see [Jesse]_327-jesse leaning against the very pillar [he]_327-jesse had [poor Cockney]_169-cockney pinned up against , not an hour ago . [His]_327-jesse severe stare is piercing [me]_2342-matt , while [Sam]_1914-sam and [the other guy from [The Manor]_{2356-the manor}]_{2869-the other guy from the manor} , [Drew]_327-jesse , are busy chatting and drinking . [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s not engaging in the conversation , though . No , [he]_327-jesse ’s stood there looking as angry as [he]_327-jesse did earlier , drilling holes right into [me]_2342-matt . [Victoria]_54-victoria ’s information suddenly filters into [my]_2342-matt brain . [I]_2342-matt turn back to [her]_54-victoria . ‘_[2342-matt] What happened ? ’ [She]_54-victoria looks vague as [she]_54-victoria hands drinks to [Kate]_2557-kate and [Tom]_60-tom . [They]_2871-they accept , swiftly returning to the floor . ‘_[2342-matt] What happened where ? ’ [she]_54-victoria asks on a frown . [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes . [She]_54-victoria ’s so dim sometimes . ‘_[2342-matt] Starbucks , what happened ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Oh . ’ [She]_54-victoria ’s back in the game . ‘_[1129-she] [She]_1129-she just walked in , started screaming and shouting , and lobbed a coffee over the poor bloke . ’ ‘_[1129-she] What did [she]_1129-she say ? ’ ‘_[1129-she] Oh , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t remember . [She]_1129-she called [him]_1130-he a selfish , cheating something or other . ’ [she]_1129-she flips casually . [Sam]_1914-sam has [a girlfriend]_{2411-a girlfriend} ? [I]_1129-she ’ll have to warn [Kate]_2557-kate , [she]_2557-kate seems to like [him]_{1131-the guy who hoofed you out of the office} . ‘_[1129-she] Hey , [he]_1130-he ’s with [the guy who hoofed [you]_1132-you out of [the office]_{279-the office}]_{1131-the guy who hoofed you out of the office} . ’ ‘_[1130-he] Yeah , listen , keep that to [yourself]_1132-you , okay ? ’ [She]_1129-she frowns at [me]_1130-he . ‘_[1130-he] What ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mean the flying coffee . And while [we]_1134-we ’re at it , not a word to [Patrick]_327-jesse about the hoofing either . ’_[1129-she] [She]_1129-she shrugs . ‘ Whatever . Oh , [I]_1129-she love this song . [Ava]_832-ava , come on . ’_[1129-she] [I]_2342-matt watch as [Victoria]_54-victoria dances [her]_1129-she way back through [the crowd]_{2809-the crowd} , but [I]_2342-matt ca n’t move . [I]_2342-matt can feel [his]_1130-he eyes burning into [my]_2342-matt back . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt should just walk away , but the magnet affect [he]_1130-he has on [me]_2342-matt sets [me]_2342-matt turning towards [him]_1130-he instead . [He]_1130-he has [his]_1130-he phone in [his]_1130-he hand , and [he]_1130-he waves it in the air in a kind of look gesture . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know why [I]_2342-matt do , but [I]_2342-matt do . [I]_2342-matt get [my]_2342-matt phone from [my]_2342-matt bag , and not so much to [my]_2342-matt surprise , [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s name is illuminating [my]_2342-matt screen . [I]_2342-matt glance back up , seeing [him]_327-jesse put [his]_327-jesse phone to [his]_327-jesse ear . [He]_327-jesse wants [me]_2342-matt to answer it . The loud music around [me]_2342-matt fades out into a dull base , pulsing in [my]_2342-matt ears , and the hum of laughing and chatting diminishes into a low mumble of sound around [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m being swallowed up by [his]_327-jesse eyes . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] completely immobilised . [My]_2342-matt senses are assaulted by the presence of [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse , the sight of [him]_327-jesse triggering all the memories of [his]_327-jesse voice , [his]_327-jesse smell , [his]_327-jesse touch . The unforgiving power [he]_327-jesse holds over [me]_2342-matt is playing [the Devil]_{1136-the devil} ’s advocate with [my]_2342-matt intelligence , and [my]_2342-matt heart is hammering a wild , uneven beat in [my]_2342-matt ears . [I]_2342-matt watch as [he]_327-jesse lowers [his]_327-jesse phone from [his]_327-jesse ear , shaking [his]_327-jesse head . [He]_327-jesse starts towards [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt see [Sam]_1914-sam look in [my]_2342-matt direction as [Jesse]_327-jesse leaves [[their]_1137-their group]_{1138-their group} , [Drew]_327-jesse flipping [his]_327-jesse eyes up too . [They]_1137-their both look uneasy at [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s obvious target . [I]_2342-matt momentarily recapture [my]_2342-matt senses when [Sam]_1914-sam grabs [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s arm to pull [him]_1914-sam back , but gets shoved out of the way . The music and activity crashes back into [my]_2342-matt brain . [I]_2342-matt plead with [my]_2342-matt legs to listen to the sensible side of [my]_2342-matt brain and take [me]_2342-matt away from here before [my]_2342-matt stupid side allows [me]_2342-matt to fall victim to [his]_327-jesse physical magnetism again . [I]_2342-matt abandon [my]_2342-matt drink on [the bar]_{361-the bar} and kick [my]_2342-matt legs into action , bolting through [the crowd]_{2809-the crowd} , knocking [people]_372-people out of the way , as [my]_2342-matt retreat becomes fraught with the need to make it to the safety of [the toilets]_{2363-the toilets} . No contact and no derailment . [Hazardous]_{172-hazardous} does n’t quite cover it . [He]_{172-hazardous} ’s proved tonight exactly why [I]_2342-matt need to avoid [him]_{172-hazardous} like the plague . [I]_2342-matt throw the cubicle door shut , fighting to secure the latch as [he]_{172-hazardous} pushes against the other side , hindering [my]_2342-matt attempts to keep [him]_{172-hazardous} away . [My]_2342-matt adrenalin is pumping . For the briefest of moments , [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt ’ve managed to block [his]_{172-hazardous} access because the resistance on the other side eases , but not enough to for [me]_2342-matt to get the lock engaged . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_1143-you ’m_[1143-you] coming in or [you]_1143-you ’re coming out . [I]_{172-hazardous} do n’t want to hurt [you]_1143-you , but if [you]_1143-you do n’t stop fighting [me]_{172-hazardous} , [I]_{172-hazardous} ’ll break the fucking door down . ’_{[172-hazardous]} [His]_{172-hazardous} breathing is heavy . Resting [my]_2342-matt back against the door , [I]_2342-matt try to get some air into [my]_2342-matt lungs . [I]_2342-matt look up around [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m cornered . [You]_1143-you would think [I]_832-ava would be safe in [the ladies]_{2873-the ladies} . [I]_832-ava ca n’t look at [him]_{172-hazardous} , [I]_832-ava ’ll cave if [he]_{172-hazardous} gets is hands on [me]_832-ava . [I]_832-ava need not to be in this fucking position ! How did [I]_832-ava get [myself]_832-ava in the situation ? [I]_832-ava jump when the bang of a fist on the door resonates through [me]_832-ava . ‘_[832-ava] God damn it , [Ava]_832-ava ! ’ Bang ! ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , please . ’ [I]_832-ava repeatedly jolt forward under the thumps of [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s fist . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] screwed . ‘ Go away , please ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout . [His]_2342-matt fist collides with the door again . ‘ No , fuck . [Ava]_832-ava ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt just have to leave . [He]_2342-matt wo n’t restrain [me]_2342-matt in such a public place . [I]_2342-matt need to walk away . Block it out … block [him]_2342-matt out . There ’s silence . [I]_2342-matt hold [my]_2342-matt breath . Has [he]_2342-matt gone ? [I]_2342-matt stand quietly for a few minutes , [my]_2342-matt eyes darting around the small cubicle , constantly looking up to check [he]_2342-matt ’s not coming over the top . [He]_2342-matt ’s gone . [I]_2342-matt stupidly relax against the door . Within in two seconds flat , [I]_2342-matt ’m thrust forward and [he]_2342-matt ’s in . When [I]_2342-matt turn around , there ’s less than a foot between [us]_2874-us , and the first thing [I]_2342-matt notice is [his]_2342-matt rapid breathing , [his]_2342-matt black shirt lifting with the rise and fall of [his]_2342-matt chest . [I]_2342-matt stare at [his]_2342-matt jeans . If [I]_2342-matt look up at [his]_2342-matt handsome face , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] at an instant disadvantage . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , look at [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt demands harshly . [I]_2342-matt clap [my]_2342-matt hands over [my]_2342-matt ears , lowering [myself]_2342-matt to the toilet seat . [I]_2342-matt need to block it all out . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , why are [you]_832-ava doing this ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks . Oh , how long have [I]_2342-matt got to sit here and block it all out ? [I]_2342-matt start humming in [my]_2342-matt head as [I]_2342-matt stare down at the floor . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_2342-matt hands clap around [my]_2342-matt wrists , pulling [my]_2342-matt hands away from [my]_2342-matt ears . [His]_2342-matt touch heats [my]_2342-matt skin . Why does [he]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt ’m doing this ? ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to do this in [the toilets of [a bar]_{1145-a bar}]_{1144-the toilets of a bar} , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ ‘_[832-ava] Then do n’t . ’ [I]_832-ava try to regain possession of [my]_832-ava hands but , as usual , [he]_2342-matt overpowers [me]_832-ava . ‘_[832-ava] Please , just let [me]_2342-matt walk away . ’ [He]_2342-matt slowly crouches down in front of [me]_832-ava , still holding [my]_832-ava wrists . ‘_[832-ava] Never . ’ [he]_2342-matt whispers . The tears in [my]_832-ava eyes spill over , splashing the top of [my]_832-ava bare knees . ‘_[832-ava] Why are [you]_1146-you doing this to [me]_2342-matt ? ’ [He]_2342-matt clenches [my]_832-ava jaw , pulling it up so [I]_832-ava have no choice but to look at [him]_2342-matt . [His]_2342-matt eyes are glazed . ‘_[832-ava] Doing what ? ’ Oh , the arsehole . [His]_2342-matt impudence knows no bounds . [I]_832-ava use [my]_832-ava free hand to roughly brush the dampness away from [my]_832-ava cheeks , suddenly horrified that [I]_832-ava am , yet again , crying all over [him]_2342-matt . ‘_[832-ava] [You]_1146-you persistently pursued [me]_2342-matt , bombarded [me]_2342-matt with calls and texts , fucked [me]_2342-matt into oblivion and threw a wobbly when [I]_2342-matt re - arranged [our]_1147-our meeting . [You]_1148-you stormed off four days ago , and [I]_2342-matt ’ve not heard from [you]_1148-you since ! ’ [I]_2342-matt pull [my]_2342-matt other hand from [his]_2342-matt grasp . ‘_[2342-matt] Now , [you]_1148-you turn up , trampling all over [my]_2342-matt recovery night . ’ [He]_2342-matt ’s [the one]_2342-matt to look away now , [he]_2342-matt ’s ashamed . ‘_[1148-you] Watch [your]_1148-you mouth . ’ [he]_2342-matt murmurs . Watch [my]_327-jesse mouth ? After all that , [he]_2342-matt tells [me]_327-jesse to watch [my]_327-jesse mouth ? [He]_2342-matt ’s impossible ! ‘_[327-jesse] Fuck off , [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’ [I]_327-jesse spit . [His]_327-jesse head snaps up . ‘_[327-jesse] Mouth ! ’ [I]_327-jesse look at [him]_327-jesse in shock , and [he]_327-jesse scowls at [me]_327-jesse , [his]_327-jesse frown line deep on [his]_327-jesse forehead . [I]_327-jesse ca n’t cope with this . [I]_327-jesse ’ve had four days to put [my]_327-jesse encounters with [this man down to experience and rebound fucking]_{2875-this man down to experience and rebound fucking} . [I]_327-jesse was well on [my]_327-jesse way to forgetting [him]_327-jesse – kind of . Why is [he]_327-jesse here refreshing it all for [me]_327-jesse ? [I]_327-jesse knew [I]_327-jesse should ’ve stayed away . [I]_327-jesse could kick [myself]_327-jesse . [I]_327-jesse stand up in front of [him]_327-jesse , leaving [him]_327-jesse crouching , but [he]_327-jesse reaches up and clasps behind [my]_327-jesse bare legs . The fear of [his]_327-jesse evocative touch is completely warranted . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] immediately on guard . The heat emanating from [his]_1149-he palms is spreading like wild fire through [my]_2342-matt blood stream , and there is no way to free [myself]_2342-matt from [it]_1150-it . [The toilet]_{440-the toilet} is behind [me]_2342-matt and [he]_1149-he ’s blocking the door . ‘ Let [me]_2342-matt go , [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt grate , with all the firmness [my]_2342-matt quivering vocal cords will allow . [He]_1149-he looks up at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ No . ’_[1149-he] ‘ [You]_327-jesse seemed to manage just fine on Tuesday . ’_[1149-he] [He]_1149-he pushes [himself]_1149-he up to [his]_1149-he feet , sliding [his]_1149-he palms up the backs of [my]_2342-matt legs as [he]_1149-he does . It sparks a vicious bang between [my]_2342-matt legs . ‘ [I]_1149-he was mad . ’_[1149-he] [he]_1149-he says quietly as [he]_1149-he looms over [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_1152-you ’re_[1149-he] still mad . Did [you]_1152-you know [I]_2342-matt would be here ? ’ [I]_1149-he ask . [He]_1149-he stares down at [me]_1149-he , but [he]_1149-he does n’t answer . ‘_[1149-he] [You]_1152-you knew [I]_2342-matt would be here , did n’t [you]_1152-you ? ’ [I]_1914-sam push . ‘_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam . ’ [he]_1149-he offers , completely unashamed . ‘_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam ? ’ [His]_1149-he face is poker straight . ‘_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam rang [Kate]_2557-kate . ’ ‘_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate never said ! ’ [I]_2342-matt cry in despair . [The devious cow]_2557-kate ! [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [she]_2557-kate ’s done this to [me]_2342-matt . There will be some seriously strong words exchanged when [I]_2342-matt get [my]_2342-matt hands on [her]_2557-kate . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m going to kiss [you]_2342-matt now . ’_[2342-matt] It ’s that tone , and [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt ’m doomed . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt ’re lucky , because if [I]_2342-matt had [you]_2342-matt anywhere else , [you]_2342-matt would be getting a reminder ... right ... about ... now . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt gasp as [he]_1914-sam takes the one step forward that ’s needed to close the gap between [us]_1153-us . With the toilet behind [me]_2342-matt , there ’s no retreating space . ‘ [I]_1914-sam like [your]_2342-matt dress , ’_[1914-sam] [he]_1914-sam murmurs , stroking [my]_2342-matt bare arm with [his]_1914-sam finger tip . ‘ It ’s too short , but [I]_1914-sam like it . ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam leans down , nuzzling [my]_2342-matt neck on a groan . [My]_2342-matt knees buckle . Damn [him]_1914-sam . And damn [me]_2342-matt too . [My]_2342-matt eyes close without command , [my]_2342-matt head turning into [his]_1914-sam hot breath on [my]_2342-matt neck , [my]_2342-matt willpower scattered to the wind , just like that . It ’s impossible . [He]_1914-sam ’s impossible . [I]_2342-matt feel [him]_1914-sam crouch slightly , [his]_1914-sam arm creeping under [my]_2342-matt backside , and with one effortless pull , [he]_1914-sam straightens [his]_1914-sam legs and lifts [me]_2342-matt from the floor . [I]_2342-matt ’m secure against [his]_1914-sam chest and looking down into [his]_1914-sam eyes . Game over . In a tiny toilet cubicle , [I]_2342-matt ’ve absolutely no hope . ‘_[2342-matt] Do [you]_1154-you have any idea what [you]_1154-you do to [me]_2342-matt ? ’ [His]_1914-sam husky voice breaks as [he]_1914-sam looks up at [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m a fucking mess . ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam ’s a mess ? That ’s rich ! [He]_1914-sam releases [his]_1914-sam grip on [me]_2342-matt slightly , causing [me]_2342-matt to slide down [his]_1914-sam body until [our]_1155-our lips meet . [He]_1914-sam swings [me]_2342-matt around , pinning [me]_2342-matt up against the back of the door . [I]_2342-matt do n’t have time to be concerned by [our]_1155-our location ; [I]_2342-matt ’m too busy searching for the willpower to stop this . [His]_1914-sam tongue brushes across the seam of [my]_2342-matt closed lips , tempting them open , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] furious with [myself]_2342-matt for responding . But [I]_2342-matt should know by now … it ’s unavoidable . [I]_2342-matt open to [him]_1914-sam like [I]_2342-matt always do , meeting [his]_1914-sam tongue with [mine]_2342-matt , clamping [my]_2342-matt hands in [his]_1914-sam hair . Groaning deep and low in [his]_1914-sam throat , [he]_1914-sam locks [his]_1914-sam free hand around the base of [my]_2342-matt neck to hold [me]_2342-matt in place as [he]_1914-sam pushes [his]_1914-sam body further into [mine]_2342-matt . [Our]_1156-our mouths are fused and [our]_1156-our tongues colliding , rolling and stabbing together . This is a possessive , demanding kiss , and [I]_2342-matt ’m back to square one . With just one kiss , [I]_2342-matt ’ve surrendered . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] weak and desperate . [He]_1914-sam breaks away , leaving [me]_2342-matt panting and feeling the violent rise of [his]_1914-sam chest pressing against [my]_2342-matt breast bone . [His]_1914-sam forehead meets [mine]_2342-matt and [my]_2342-matt nostrils are instantly invaded with [his]_1914-sam minty breath . ‘ There [she]_2876-she is . ’_[1914-sam] [he]_1914-sam pants surely . ‘ Yes , [you]_2342-matt got [me]_1914-sam again . ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam smiles slightly , circling [his]_1914-sam nose with [mine]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_1914-sam missed [you]_2342-matt , [baby]_2342-matt . ’_[1914-sam] ‘ Why did [you]_2342-matt go then ? ’_[1914-sam] ‘ [I]_1914-sam ’ve no idea . ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam plants a lingering kiss on [my]_2342-matt lips and lets [me]_2342-matt slide down [his]_1914-sam body . [I]_2342-matt feel the undeniable hard ridge of an arousal as [I]_2342-matt slip past [his]_1914-sam groin . [He]_1914-sam ’s being very reasonable , especially considering [his]_1914-sam current hard condition . [I]_2342-matt look up at [him]_1914-sam , finding a dark smile playing at the corners of [his]_1914-sam lips . ‘ [I]_1914-sam should force [you]_1914-sam to sort this out . ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam places [his]_1914-sam hand over [his]_1914-sam crotch and [my]_2342-matt eyes widen in shock . Fuck , [I]_2342-matt probably would as well . [He]_1914-sam bashes down all of [my]_2342-matt defences and tramples [my]_2342-matt rational thinking . [He]_1914-sam has a frightening effect on [me]_2342-matt . ‘ But [I]_1914-sam ’m_[1914-sam] not having [you]_1157-you on [your]_1157-you knees in here . [We]_1158-we ’ll make [friends]_2512-friends properly later . ’ [I]_1158-we ’m_[1158-we] not sure if [I]_2342-matt ’m disappointed or relieved . [He]_1914-sam opens the door , manoeuvring so [I]_2342-matt can leave . [I]_2342-matt walk out to be immediately confronted by [two wide eyed women]_{2877-two wide eyed women} . [They]_{2877-two wide eyed women} start talking about anything and everything , looking anywhere and everywhere , except at [me]_2342-matt . But then [Jesse]_327-jesse makes an appearance and [they]_{2877-two wide eyed women} ca n’t hide [their]_{2877-two wide eyed women} blatant interest . [They]_{2877-two wide eyed women} both stand with [their]_{2877-two wide eyed women} lipsticks half way to [their]_{2877-two wide eyed women} lips , gawking in the reflection of the mirror at [the magnificent male who has emerged from the cubicle behind [me]_2342-matt]_{2878-the magnificent male who has emerged from the cubicle behind me} . [I]_2342-matt turn to [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt need to sort [my]_2342-matt face out . [I]_2342-matt ’ll see [you]_1160-he out there . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_1160-he face is perfect as it is . ’ [he]_1160-he reassures [me]_2342-matt softly . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help but smile . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt wo n’t be long . ’ With no regard for [the women still gawping at [him]_1160-he]_{2879-the women still gawping at him} , [he]_1160-he walks over and kisses [my]_458-ladies forehead , looking at [the dumbstruck women in the mirror]_{2880-the dumbstruck women in the mirror} . ‘_[458-ladies] [Ladies]_458-ladies , ’ [He]_1160-he nods , [they]_458-ladies swoon , and then [he]_1160-he ’s gone . [I]_458-ladies shuffle over to the mirror to sort [my]_458-ladies face out , the silence painful as [I]_458-ladies re - apply face powder , eye liner and lipstick . In other words , [I]_458-ladies basically re - do [my]_458-ladies whole face ; it ’s a tear stained mess . [I]_458-ladies do all of this in an uncomfortable silence , as [the two women]_{606-each other} shoot [each other]_{606-each other} questioning glances every so often . When [I]_458-ladies ’m_[458-ladies] done , [I]_2342-matt wash [my]_2342-matt hands , smile sweetly and leave , hearing [them]_1162-them coo and melt all over [the ladies bathroom]_{1163-the ladies bathroom} . [I]_2342-matt escape and find [Jesse]_327-jesse waiting for [me]_2342-matt outside . [He]_327-jesse holds [his]_327-jesse hand out on a smile . Of course , [I]_2342-matt take it , letting [him]_327-jesse lead [me]_2342-matt to [the bar]_{361-the bar} . [I]_2342-matt scan the dance floor as [he]_327-jesse pushes [his]_327-jesse way through [the crowd]_{2809-the crowd} , making a clear path by holding [his]_327-jesse spare arm out . [I]_2342-matt see [Kate]_2557-kate , [Tom]_60-tom and [Victoria]_54-victoria , all still busting [their]_1162-them moves . ‘ What do [you]_60-tom want to drink ? ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse asks , tucking [me]_2342-matt under [his]_327-jesse arm and getting [the bar man]_{1166-the bar man} ’s immediate attention . ‘ [Zinfandel]_{161-zinfandel} , please , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt inch closer to [him]_{1166-the bar man} . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t get near enough . [He]_{1166-the bar man} gives [me]_2342-matt a quick scan over with [his]_{1166-the bar man} enquiring eyes , pursing [his]_{1166-the bar man} lips . ‘ [[Your]_60-tom friends]_{2882-your friends} ? ’_{[1166-the bar man]} ‘ Oh , [Kate]_2557-kate ’s a wine , vodka and tonic for [Victoria]_54-victoria and a pina colada for [Tom]_60-tom . ’_{[1166-the bar man]} [His]_{1166-the bar man} eyes widen . ‘ [Tom]_60-tom ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile . ‘ [Gayboy]_150-gayboy , [you]_150-gayboy ’ve met [him]_{1166-the bar man} . ’_[2342-matt] Realisation dawns on [his]_{1166-the bar man} handsome face . [He]_{1166-the bar man} shakes [his]_{1166-the bar man} head in dismay , releasing [me]_2342-matt and turning back to [the barman]_{1167-the barman} , who ’s waiting patiently for [Jesse]_327-jesse to order the drinks . [Kate]_2557-kate and [Tom]_60-tom approach [us]_1168-us , laughing and eyeing [me]_2342-matt up . [I]_2342-matt flash [Kate]_2557-kate a filthy look , but [she]_2557-kate just points [her]_2557-kate finger at [her]_2557-kate own chest in a moi gesture . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse ordered [your]_2883-your drinks . ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt inform [them]_1168-us , while keeping [my]_2342-matt accusing scowl fixed right on [Kate]_2557-kate . [She]_2557-kate ignores [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Oh … [a God]_{74-a god} and [a gentleman]_{2885-a gentleman} , ’_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom gushes , blatantly eyeing up [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s arse . [I]_2342-matt do n’t blame [him]_60-tom ; it is a very attractive jean clad arse . [Jesse]_327-jesse presents the drinks to [Kate]_2557-kate and [Tom]_60-tom , and [I]_2342-matt watch in stunned silence as [Kate]_2557-kate leans in to give [Jesse]_327-jesse a kiss on [his]_327-jesse cheek . What is wrong with [that woman]_{792-that woman} ? [I]_2342-matt ’m even more shocked when [Jesse]_327-jesse smiles brightly at [her]_{792-that woman} before whispering something in [her]_{792-that woman} ear . What ’s going on ? [She]_{792-that woman} turns , winks at [me]_2342-matt and leads [Tom]_60-tom back to [the dance floor]_{2859-the dance floor} as [Jesse]_327-jesse hands [me]_2342-matt [my]_2342-matt wine , opening a bottle of water for [himself]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse slips [his]_327-jesse free arm around [my]_2342-matt waist to pull [me]_2342-matt close . [I]_2342-matt look up at [him]_327-jesse questioningly . What was that ? Are [they]_2887-they working in cahoots ? ‘_[2342-matt] Hey , [[my]_2342-matt man]_{74-a god} , ’ [Sam]_1914-sam comes barrelling over with [Drew]_327-jesse , both taking the beers that [Jesse]_327-jesse hands [them]_2887-they . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , where ’s the love ? ’ [He]_327-jesse leans down so [I]_2342-matt can peck [his]_327-jesse cheek , flashing [me]_2342-matt [his]_327-jesse cute dimple as [he]_327-jesse does . [He]_327-jesse ’s cheeky , sweet and terribly good looking , but given [Victoria]_54-victoria ’s revelation , [I]_2342-matt need to be wary on [Kate]_2557-kate ’s behalf . [Drew]_327-jesse holds [his]_327-jesse bottle up as [his]_327-jesse hello , ever the shrewd , standoffish one . [I]_2342-matt smile and lean up to [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s ear . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m going to join [the others]_{2888-the others} . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt ’s with [[his]_2342-matt mates]_{2513-his mates} and this is supposed to be a girly night out – [Tom]_60-tom does n’t count . [He]_60-tom turns [his]_60-tom face into [my]_2342-matt neck and steals a cheeky nuzzle , taking full advantage of [my]_2342-matt position . ‘ [I]_60-tom ’ll be watching . ’_[60-tom] [he]_60-tom warns in [my]_2342-matt ear , nipping [my]_2342-matt lobe and slapping [my]_2342-matt backside . The soreness has abated , but there ’s still evidence of [my]_2342-matt tumble around in the back of [Margo]_1052-margo . [I]_2342-matt pull away and pout playfully , earning [me]_2342-matt a huge smile and a wink . Is [he]_60-tom watching for [possible Cockneys]_170-cockneys , or is [he]_60-tom watching [me]_2342-matt ? Leaving [him]_60-tom at [the bar]_{361-the bar} , [I]_2342-matt find the others on the dance floor , all happily lapping up the music and drinks . [I]_2342-matt laugh at [Tom]_60-tom , who ’s in a world of [his]_60-tom own , and as [[Justin Timberlake]_{173-justin timberlake} ’s [Lovestoned]_{174-lovestoned}]_{1173-justin timberlake ’s lovestoned} comes through the speakers , [I]_2342-matt ’m welcomed to the dance floor with gasps and whoops . In [my]_2342-matt semi - drunken state , [I]_2342-matt stupidly down [my]_2342-matt wine and discard [my]_2342-matt glass on the designated drinks ledge . If there was ever a track to pull [me]_2342-matt out of [my]_2342-matt despair , even if it ’s just for a few moments , it would be this one . The timing is impeccable . All bags are thrown , unceremoniously , into the middle , [Justin]_{173-justin timberlake} shouts “ Hey ” and [the crowd]_{2809-the crowd} is thrown into a delirious frenzy . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] happily enjoying some moves and laughs with [Kate]_2557-kate , when [I]_2342-matt ’m grabbed by the waist and spun around . [I]_60-tom find [Sam]_1914-sam grinning at [me]_60-tom and nodding over [my]_60-tom shoulder . ‘_[60-tom] Here [he]_60-tom comes . [I]_2342-matt hope [you]_1174-you ’re ready for this . ’_[60-tom] [he]_60-tom says . ‘ What ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout over the music . [Sam]_1914-sam ’s grin widens , displaying [his]_1914-sam dimple at its deepest . ‘ [He]_1914-sam thinks [he]_1914-sam owns [JT]_175-jt . ’_[1914-sam] [I]_2342-matt have no idea what [he]_1914-sam ’s talking about . [He]_1914-sam clasps [my]_2342-matt shoulders , rotating [me]_2342-matt on the floor , and [I]_2342-matt spot [Jesse]_327-jesse striding towards [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m suddenly worried that [he]_1914-sam ’s going to cause a scene and drag [me]_2342-matt from the floor . For what , [I]_2342-matt do n’t know , but [he]_1914-sam ’s famous for flinging [me]_2342-matt over [his]_1914-sam shoulder as [he]_1914-sam pleases . [I]_2342-matt watch [him]_1914-sam nearing , slowing [my]_2342-matt movements down as [I]_2342-matt concentrate on [his]_1914-sam approach . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not sure what to make of this . [His]_1914-sam expression is dark and hungry , and [I]_2342-matt ’m completely engrossed by [his]_1914-sam tall , lean body getting closer . That bloody gait does serious things to [me]_1175-me . By the time [he]_1914-sam ’s stood before [me]_1175-me , as close as [he]_1914-sam can get but without touching [me]_1175-me , [I]_1175-me ’ve stopped moving completely . [My]_1175-me breathing is heavy . [He]_1914-sam snakes [his]_1914-sam arm around [my]_1175-me waist and hauls [me]_1175-me up to [his]_1914-sam body , prompting [my]_1175-me hands to fly up and grasp [his]_1914-sam flexing biceps as [he]_1914-sam rests [his]_1914-sam forehead against [mine]_1175-me . ‘_[1175-me] [You]_1175-me ’re going to get [a lot of men]_{2890-a lot of men} dropped if [you]_1175-me keep dancing like that . [You]_1175-me like a bit of [JT]_175-jt ? ’_[1175-me] ‘ Yes . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt breathe . [He]_2342-matt smiles that delicious , melt worthy smile , reserved only for [women]_348-women . ‘ [Me]_2342-matt too , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt drops a kiss on [my]_2342-matt lips , then , to [my]_2342-matt utter shock , [he]_2342-matt grasps [my]_2342-matt hand and flings [me]_2342-matt out on a spin before yanking [me]_2342-matt back into [his]_2342-matt arms . [He]_2342-matt ’s not going to dance , surely ? ‘ And it ’s the extended version . ’_[2342-matt] Is it ? What does that mean ? [I]_2342-matt look at [Sam]_1914-sam , who rolls [his]_2342-matt eyes on a shrug , then back to [Jesse]_327-jesse , who has the biggest self - assured smirk on [his]_2342-matt face . [He]_2342-matt is going to dance . Well , this should be interesting . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know if it ’s the fact that [I]_2342-matt ’ve drank [my]_2342-matt own body weight in wine , or if it ’s [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s cock sure demeanour – it ’s probably the former – but whichever , it ’s got [me]_2342-matt performing an indecent shimmy down [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s body , while [my]_2342-matt palms drag , damn right obscenely , from [his]_327-jesse chest , all the way down to [his]_327-jesse thighs . There [I]_2342-matt am , squatting in front of [him]_327-jesse with [my]_2342-matt palms partly spanning the front of [his]_327-jesse magnificent thighs , looking up at [the most handsome man [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever laid [my]_2342-matt eyes on]_{1177-the most handsome man i ’ve ever laid my eyes on} . [My]_2342-matt dress is probably riding up [my]_2342-matt bum cheeks in the crudest fashion , but [I]_2342-matt ’m oblivious . All of [my]_2342-matt attention is on the God like creature staring down at [me]_2342-matt , with a filthy , promising look on [his]_327-jesse face . [I]_2342-matt smile boldly , making a point of smoothing [my]_2342-matt palms closer to [his]_327-jesse groin area , before slowly pushing [myself]_2342-matt up [his]_327-jesse body , ensuring maximum contact between [us]_2891-us . As [my]_2342-matt face passes [his]_327-jesse groin , [I]_2342-matt run [my]_2342-matt nose up the fly of [his]_327-jesse jeans , feeling [him]_327-jesse shudder and jerk before [he]_327-jesse reaches down , grabs [my]_2342-matt arms and hauls [me]_2342-matt up the rest of the way . [My]_2342-matt heart is hammering as [he]_327-jesse breathes in [my]_2342-matt ear – long , hot , heavy breaths . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt should bend [you]_1178-you over here and fuck [you]_1178-you until [you]_1178-you scream . That dress is absurd . ’ [I]_2342-matt do n’t have time to say , yes , please ! [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] spun out , and [I]_2342-matt watch as [Jesse]_327-jesse makes a mockery of [Mister JT [himself]_327-jesse]_{1179-mister jt himself} . [I]_2342-matt ’m completely astonished at what ’s unfolding before [me]_2342-matt . [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse can dance - and dance well . How old is [he]_327-jesse ? [He]_327-jesse moves around [me]_2342-matt , [his]_327-jesse rhythm flawless , drawing the attention of [many delighted women]_{2892-many delighted women} . [I]_2342-matt snatch quick glances at [the others]_{2888-the others} , all sharing in [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s delight , and [I]_2342-matt laugh . [I]_2342-matt laugh at the sexy , confident , fluid movements that have come as such a pleasant surprise . [This man]_327-jesse does n’t only have moves in [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} . Does [he]_327-jesse do anything badly ? Leaning into [me]_2342-matt , [he]_327-jesse gives [me]_2342-matt a teasing circle of [his]_327-jesse hips before [he]_327-jesse sends [me]_2342-matt on a full three sixty spin under [his]_327-jesse arm , pulling [me]_2342-matt back into [his]_327-jesse chest and thrusting [his]_327-jesse hips into [my]_2342-matt lower stomach . [His]_327-jesse erection is still evident . [I]_2342-matt cheekily reach down to stroke [his]_327-jesse jean clad crotch , raising [my]_2342-matt eyebrows when [he]_327-jesse shakes [his]_327-jesse head in warning . Clearly , [his]_327-jesse boldness is rubbing off on [me]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse proceeds to lower [himself]_327-jesse down [my]_2342-matt body , grinning as [he]_327-jesse clasps [my]_2342-matt hips and [I]_2342-matt jerk . [I]_2342-matt look at [him]_327-jesse watching [me]_2342-matt as [he]_327-jesse drifts down , landing on [his]_327-jesse knees in front of [me]_2342-matt , and moving [his]_327-jesse glorious hips in time to the beat . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] being flung around the dance floor , worshipped and adored . All of [his]_327-jesse attention is on [me]_2342-matt and [me]_2342-matt alone , and nothing or [no one else]_{1181-no one else} exists , just [me]_2342-matt and [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt like it . [I]_2342-matt love that [he]_327-jesse has no misgivings ; [he]_327-jesse does n’t care what [anyone]_2475-anyone thinks . [He]_327-jesse ’s confident , masculine and unashamed . It ’s refreshing , and [I]_2342-matt ’m not ignorant to the fact that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] falling . [I]_2342-matt ’m falling really hard for [this man]_327-jesse . And [I]_2342-matt do n’t think there ’s much [I]_2342-matt can do about it , especially when [he]_327-jesse wo n’t let [me]_2342-matt walk away . Do [I]_2342-matt even want to ? [I]_2342-matt glance at [the others]_{2888-the others} , to see [Sam]_1914-sam flinging [Kate]_2557-kate around the floor – [I]_2342-matt ’ll deal with that conniving cow later – and [Drew]_327-jesse is homing in on [Victoria]_54-victoria . [Drew]_327-jesse , in all [his]_327-jesse smart finery , seems a bit too up [his]_327-jesse own backside for sassy – sometimes a bit dense – [Victoria]_54-victoria , but drink has clearly loosened [him]_327-jesse up because [he]_327-jesse ’s laughing and the suit jacket ’s been removed . [Tom]_60-tom is just being [Tom]_60-tom , throwing [himself]_60-tom around like a deranged maniac . [I]_2342-matt turn [my]_2342-matt attention back to [Jesse]_327-jesse when [he]_327-jesse grasps [my]_2342-matt hips . [He]_327-jesse plants a long languid kiss on [my]_2342-matt stomach , gazing straight into [my]_2342-matt eyes before springing to [his]_327-jesse feet in front of [me]_2342-matt and dropping [his]_327-jesse lips to [mine]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt wrap [my]_2342-matt arms around [his]_327-jesse neck , sighing into [his]_327-jesse mouth . ‘_[2342-matt] It seems [I]_2342-matt have competition , ’ [he]_327-jesse mumbles against [my]_2342-matt lips . ‘_[2342-matt] No , [you]_2342-matt win . ’ [He]_327-jesse pulls back , hitting [me]_2342-matt with [his]_327-jesse roguish grin . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve won all right , [lady]_2342-matt . ’ [He]_327-jesse releases [me]_2342-matt and [I]_2342-matt toss [my]_2342-matt hair over [my]_2342-matt shoulder , letting [him]_327-jesse take [me]_2342-matt on the floor . [We]_2896-we move in complete harmony together . It ’s perfect . [He]_327-jesse ’s perfect . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t even remember why [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] mad - am [I]_2342-matt mad ? But then the energetic beat slows down , drifting into the smooth , powerful drones of violins and a slow intense beat . [I]_2342-matt ’m short of breath and swathed in [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s body . [He]_327-jesse thrusts [his]_327-jesse thigh between [my]_2342-matt legs and sways [us]_2896-we both to the echoes of the extended piece . [I]_2342-matt look up at [his]_327-jesse beautiful face as [he]_327-jesse sings to [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt have a frightening moment of pure lucidity . [I]_2342-matt ’ve already fallen . Holy shit , [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt love [this man]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse has a flashing , neon sign the size of [London]_5-london on [his]_327-jesse forehead , saying , [RUN]_176-run . But [I]_2342-matt ca n’t . [He]_327-jesse wo n’t let [me]_2342-matt , for a start . Besides , [I]_2342-matt do n’t think [I]_2342-matt want to . [He]_327-jesse disappeared for four days but [he]_327-jesse ’s back , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] really glad . [Good Lord]_{462-good lord} , with a stomach full of wine , this is not the time to be contemplating such complex and risky issues . [I]_2342-matt feel like [I]_2342-matt ’m navigating very dangerous waters here . [I]_2342-matt know nothing about [this man]_327-jesse . Well , apart from [his]_327-jesse extreme wealth , extreme intensiveness and the fact that [he]_327-jesse owns [a massively plush hotel]_{2897-a massively plush hotel} , but other than that … nothing . [I]_2342-matt do n’t even know how old [he]_327-jesse is . But despite [my]_2342-matt lack of knowledge , [he]_327-jesse ’s completely taken [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt lean up and place [my]_2342-matt lips on [his]_327-jesse , and within a few seconds , when [he]_327-jesse ’s moaned into [my]_2342-matt mouth and tightened [his]_327-jesse grip on [me]_2342-matt , [we]_1185-our ’re_[2342-matt] entwined in a deep , passionate embrace . Oh dear , [he]_1184-he ’s trampled into [my]_2342-matt life and stole [my]_2342-matt heart , and there is nothing [I]_2342-matt can do about it . The music starts to fade out , drifting into another track , and [I]_2342-matt start leaning back in [his]_1184-he arms . [He]_1184-he bends with [me]_2342-matt , supporting [my]_2342-matt back and refusing to break the contact of [our]_1185-our lips . Moaning disapprovingly , [he]_1184-he reluctantly releases [me]_2342-matt but keeps [me]_2342-matt suspended in [his]_1184-he arms . It ’s not uncomfortable ; [he]_1184-he ’s holding all of [my]_2342-matt weight , like [I]_2342-matt ’m no more than a feather . [His]_1184-he sludgy green eyes twinkle as [they]_2898-they penetrate [my]_832-ava heart and soul , and [he]_1184-he lowers [his]_1184-he face to [mine]_832-ava so [our]_1185-our lips brush lightly . ‘_[832-ava] [You]_832-ava ’ve got [me]_2342-matt , [baby]_832-ava . ’ Well … that statement is just playing havoc with [my]_832-ava drunken mind . Chapter 19 [I]_832-ava make [my]_832-ava way from the dance floor with [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s palm placed in the small of [my]_832-ava back , guiding [me]_832-ava as [he]_327-jesse moves [people]_372-people out of the way with [his]_327-jesse spare arm . [He]_327-jesse leads [me]_832-ava over to a tall table , but all the stools have been claimed elsewhere . ‘_[832-ava] Wait here , ’ [He]_327-jesse positions [me]_832-ava by the table and wraps [his]_327-jesse palm around [my]_832-ava neck , pulling [me]_832-ava in and planting a kiss [my]_832-ava forehead . ‘_[832-ava] Do n’t move , ’ [I]_327-jesse dump [my]_327-jesse clutch on the table , watching [him]_327-jesse as [he]_327-jesse disappears into [the crowd]_{2809-the crowd} . [I]_327-jesse do n’t have much time with [my]_327-jesse thoughts – it ’s probably a good thing because [I]_327-jesse have no idea what to make of [them]_{2809-the crowd} – [Kate]_2557-kate and [the others]_{2888-the others} come crashing through [the crowd]_{2809-the crowd} , laughing and sweating , with [Sam]_1914-sam and [Drew]_327-jesse in tow . [Sam]_1914-sam eyes [me]_327-jesse on [my]_327-jesse own . ‘_[327-jesse] Where ’s [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’ [I]_327-jesse frown . ‘_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . ’ [I]_327-jesse point in the direction that [Jesse]_327-jesse left in , just as [he]_327-jesse reappears back through the mass of [people]_372-people carrying a bar stool over [his]_327-jesse head . [He]_327-jesse places it down on the ground . ‘_[327-jesse] Sit . ’ [he]_327-jesse commands , lifting [me]_327-jesse onto the stool . It ’s a relief , [my]_327-jesse feet are killing [me]_327-jesse . ‘_[327-jesse] Drinks ? ’ [he]_327-jesse asks . [Everyone]_282-everyone nods , throwing [their]_282-everyone orders [his]_327-jesse way , leaving [him]_327-jesse looking slightly harassed as [he]_327-jesse leans in to listen to what [everyone]_282-everyone wants . [Sam]_1914-sam steps up to the plate . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll give [you]_2342-matt a hand . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Yeah , [I]_2342-matt ’m coming . ’_[327-jesse] [Drew]_327-jesse follows [Jesse]_327-jesse and [Sam]_1914-sam to [the bar]_{361-the bar} , leaving the three remaining pairs of eyes on [me]_2342-matt . ‘ What ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [I]_2342-matt know what . [My]_2342-matt head is suddenly swimming in wine . [Kate]_2557-kate arches a well plucked eyebrow at [me]_2342-matt , folding [her]_2557-kate arms over [her]_2557-kate chest . [She]_2557-kate can get lost . It ’s [her]_2557-kate fault [he]_1188-he ’s here . ‘ Looking a bit cosy . ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate fires . [Tom]_60-tom strokes the oversized lapels of [his]_60-tom coral shirt . ‘ [Cosy]_178-cosy ? No , no , no . That was n't cosy . That was guaranteed hot sex tonight , [darling]_2557-kate ! ’_[60-tom] [He]_60-tom raises both hands , and [Kate]_2557-kate and [Victoria]_54-victoria comply , slapping a hand each in unison . [I]_2342-matt scowl at [Kate]_2557-kate . ‘ [Me]_2342-matt and [you]_2342-matt , later . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt threaten . [She]_2557-kate inhales sharply . ‘ Oh , feisty ! [I]_2557-kate love everything [this man]_327-jesse brings out in [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2557-kate] Yes , [she]_2557-kate ’s made it perfectly obvious that [she]_2557-kate loves [this man]_327-jesse , and [I]_2342-matt want to know what was going on in that little exchange . ‘ Did [you]_2342-matt see [him]_60-tom move ? ’_{[54-victoria]} [Victoria]_54-victoria pipes up . ‘ [He]_60-tom were n’t bad . ’_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom pouts . Oh dear , [someone]_587-someone ’s stolen [Tom]_60-tom ’s dance floor thunder . [Jesse]_327-jesse may well have made [a lifelong enemy]_{1191-a lifelong enemy} . ‘ So – ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m firing this right back at [Kate]_2557-kate . ‘_[2342-matt] Talking of cosy ? ’ [I]_2342-matt nod at [Sam]_1914-sam as [he]_1914-sam walks back through [the crowd]_{2809-the crowd} , balancing three drinks between [his]_1914-sam hands . ‘_[2342-matt] A bit of fun . ’ [she]_2557-kate shrugs . [God]_68-god , [I]_1192-i hope so . Do [I]_1192-i tell [her]_2557-kate what [Victoria]_54-victoria saw ? ‘_[1192-i] And [you]_1192-i ? ’ [I]_2342-matt look at [Victoria]_54-victoria . [She]_2557-kate looks shocked . ‘_[2342-matt] [Me]_2342-matt ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Yes , [I]_2342-matt saw [you]_1192-i shaking [your]_1192-i thing at [Drew]_327-jesse . ’ [Tom]_60-tom throws [his]_60-tom hands up in the air in exasperation . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m a huffing raspberry ! [I]_2342-matt want to go to [Route Sixty]_{26-route sixty} , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt turns to [Victoria]_54-victoria . ‘ [Darling]_78-darling , please ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No ! ’_{[54-victoria]} [she]_54-victoria exclaims , and [I]_2342-matt do n’t blame [her]_54-victoria . It makes a change for [Victoria]_54-victoria to be having the male attention , possibly the action too . [Sam]_1914-sam plants the drinks on the table and [Drew]_327-jesse follows suit , brushing suspiciously close to [Victoria]_54-victoria . [She]_54-victoria giggles , fluffing [her]_54-victoria hair . [She]_54-victoria needs to lay off the fake tan . [Sam]_1914-sam grins . ‘ Wine for [Kate]_2557-kate , ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam bows as [he]_1914-sam hands [her]_54-victoria the glass . ‘ Vodka for [Victoria]_54-victoria and [I]_1914-sam ’ve no idea what this is , but it looks camp , so it must be [yours]_2904-yours . ’_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam hands [Tom]_60-tom a pina colada on a wink . [Tom]_60-tom blushes a bright shade of red and flops a limp wrist at [Sam]_1914-sam . [I]_2342-matt do n’t believe it . For the first time in [his]_60-tom life , [Tom]_60-tom is rendered shy . Oh , this is too good an opportunity to miss . ‘ [Tom]_60-tom , [your]_60-tom face is clashing with [your]_60-tom shirt ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt splutter , through a helpless fit of laughter . [Everyone]_282-everyone turns to stare at [Tom]_60-tom , only serving to intensify [his]_60-tom blush and , subsequently , [his]_60-tom mortification . An eruption of howling laughter breaks out , prompting [Tom]_60-tom to huff a few times and storm off . ‘ What ’s so funny ? ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse asks when [he]_60-tom reaches [us]_1193-my , placing [my]_2342-matt wine and a bottle of water on the table . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t talk . [I]_2342-matt ’m still recovering from [my]_1193-my fits of giggles . [I]_1193-my wipe [my]_1193-my eyes . ‘_[1193-my] [We]_1193-my ’ve just found [Tom]_60-tom ’s Achilles heel . ’ [Kate]_2557-kate volunteers when [she]_2557-kate sees [I]_60-tom ’m_[60-tom] no closer to composure . [Jesse]_327-jesse looks perplexed as [he]_327-jesse looks around at the recovering hyenas that [he]_327-jesse ’s returned to . [I]_2342-matt see [Sam]_1914-sam shrug , swigging [his]_1914-sam beer . ‘ [Sam]_1914-sam . ’_[1914-sam] [I]_2342-matt offer , through [my]_2342-matt abating giggles . ‘ [Sam]_1914-sam ? ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse frowns . [Victoria]_54-victoria jumps in . ‘ [Tom]_60-tom fancies [Sam]_1914-sam ! ’_{[54-victoria]} [she]_54-victoria cries cheerfully . [Jesse]_327-jesse shakes [his]_327-jesse head and reaches for [his]_327-jesse water , undoing the screw cap and taking a swig . ‘ Here , have some . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse trusts the bottle under [my]_2342-matt nose . ‘ No , ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt screw [my]_2342-matt face up , pushing it away . ‘ Have some water , [Ava]_832-ava . [You]_832-ava ’ll thank [me]_2342-matt in the morning . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_327-jesse do n’t want any water . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse scowls at [me]_2342-matt , thrusting the water in [my]_2342-matt face again . ‘ Have it ! ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse growls . [I]_2342-matt glance around , seeing [everyone]_282-everyone looking at [our]_1195-our little exchange . [I]_2342-matt ’m definitely not having it now . [I]_2342-matt shove [his]_327-jesse outstretched arm away from [my]_2342-matt face and pick up [my]_2342-matt wine , raising [my]_2342-matt glass to [him]_327-jesse before taking a swig . Actually , [I]_2342-matt down [the lot]_{2905-the lot} . [I]_2342-matt make a point of placing [my]_2342-matt glass down precisely before [I]_2342-matt look up at [Jesse]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse ’s proper brooding , [his]_327-jesse lips pressed into a straight line as [he]_327-jesse shakes [his]_327-jesse head at [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] No . ’ [I]_2342-matt state firmly , enhancing [my]_2342-matt point . [He]_327-jesse ’s already trampled on [my]_2342-matt recovery night . [He]_327-jesse ’s not dictating what [I]_2342-matt drink too . ‘_[2342-matt] There goes [your]_1196-your action tonight . ’ [Sam]_1914-sam smirks and [Kate]_2557-kate bursts into fits of laughter . ‘_[1914-sam] Fuck off , [Sam]_1914-sam . ’ [Jesse]_327-jesse warns , in a rather deadly tone . [He]_327-jesse ’s not happy , but [I]_1914-sam ’m_[1914-sam] drunk and rebellious , so [I]_2342-matt do n’t care . [Sam]_1914-sam raises [his]_1914-sam hands , backing off immediately . At the same time , [Kate]_2557-kate clenches [her]_2557-kate lips shut to suppress [her]_2557-kate laughter , giving [me]_2342-matt the eyes . [I]_2342-matt shrug . [I]_2342-matt wonder if [she]_2557-kate likes demanding , commanding [Jesse]_327-jesse as much as [she]_2557-kate likes [white knight [Jesse]_327-jesse]_{1197-white knight jesse} . [Drew]_327-jesse and [Victoria]_54-victoria move off to the side , out of every ones ear shot , after a little nod from [Drew]_327-jesse . Usually confident and a little standoffish , [Drew]_327-jesse looks a little shy as [Victoria]_54-victoria chats buoyantly to [him]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse takes [his]_327-jesse phone from [his]_327-jesse pocket , punching in digits as [Victoria]_54-victoria reels them off , holding it up for [her]_2557-kate to check when [he]_327-jesse ’s done . That is not the actions of [a man not prepared to call]_{1198-a man not prepared to call} . This is interesting . [I]_2342-matt ’m vaguely aware of conversation going on around [me]_65-ha , but [my]_65-ha head is suddenly very foggy . That was the last drink [you]_2906-you should never have had . And all just to prove a childish point . [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s right , damn [him]_327-jesse . [I]_65-ha will regret it in the morning . The voices begin to muffle and double vision sets in . Yep , mission accomplished … [I’m]_65-ha plastered ! [I]_65-ha feel [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s hand at the base of [my]_65-ha neck , massaging [me]_65-ha over [my]_65-ha hair as [he]_327-jesse chats to [Sam]_1914-sam . [I]_65-ha close [my]_65-ha eyes , absorbing [his]_327-jesse firm touch as [he]_327-jesse works [my]_65-ha muscles . It feels so nice . [I]_65-ha might fall asleep if [he]_327-jesse keeps it up . When [I]_65-ha open [my]_65-ha eyes , [Jesse]_327-jesse isJesse leaning down , looking into [my]_65-ha drunken eyes and shaking [his]_327-jesse head . ‘_[65-ha] Come on , [lady]_65-ha . [I]_2342-matt ’m taking [you]_65-ha [home]_281-home . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt throw a disorientated arm at [him]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] fine . ’ [He]_2342-matt ’s not ruining [my]_2342-matt recovery night . [I]_2342-matt hear [Kate]_2557-kate and [Jesse]_327-jesse exchange a few words , and then [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] hoist up from the stool to [my]_2342-matt feet . ‘ Can [you]_65-ha stand ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks . ‘ Of course , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not that drunk . ’ [I]_2342-matt am . And it would seem [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] argumentative too . [I]_2342-matt ’m presented to [everyone]_282-everyone in turn , all of [them]_282-everyone planting a kiss on [my]_2342-matt cheek , while [Jesse]_327-jesse props [me]_2342-matt up . How pathetic . Once [he]_2342-matt ’s ensured [I]_2342-matt ’ve said all of [my]_2342-matt goodbyes , [he]_2342-matt guides [me]_2342-matt out of [the bar]_{361-the bar} . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] ashamed to admit it , but if [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s arm was n’t wrapped around [my]_2342-matt waist holding [me]_2342-matt up , [I]_2342-matt would be flat on [my]_2342-matt face . The fresh air hits [me]_2342-matt , causing [me]_2342-matt to stagger slightly , but [I]_2342-matt ’m swiftly scooped up from [the pavement]_{2745-the pavement} , feeling the familiar comfort of [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s chest against [my]_{578-my dad} cheek as [he]_{578-my dad} carries [me]_{578-my dad} to [[his]_{578-my dad} car]_{2476-his car} . ‘_{[578-my dad]} [You]_{578-my dad} ’re not going to throw up on [me]_{578-my dad} , are [you]_{578-my dad} ? ’_{[578-my dad]} [he]_{578-my dad} asks . ‘ No . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scoff . ‘ Are [you]_{578-my dad} sure ? ’_{[578-my dad]} [He]_{578-my dad} laughs , and [I]_2342-matt feel the vibrations from [his]_{578-my dad} chest pass through [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_{578-my dad} ’m_{[578-my dad]} fine . ’ [I]_{578-my dad} garble against [his]_{578-my dad} shirt . [He]_{578-my dad} sounds like [[my]_{578-my dad} Dad]_{578-my dad} . Is [he]_{578-my dad} old enough to be [[my]_{578-my dad} Dad]_{578-my dad} ? No , there ’s not [a father on [the planet]_{2913-the planet} that dances like [Jesse]_327-jesse or fucks like [Jesse]_327-jesse]_{2912-a father on the planet that dances like jesse or fucks like jesse} . Oh , [my]_{578-my dad} drunken thoughts are filthy ! ‘_{[578-my dad]} Okay , a few seconds warning would be nice , though . [I]_2342-matt ’m putting [you]_{578-my dad} in [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2476-his car} now . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not going to throw up . ’ [I]_1201-you insist . [I]_1201-you feel [myself]_1201-you being lowered into [[his]_{578-my dad} car]_{2476-his car} and the sensation of cold leather on the back on [my]_1201-you legs as [I]_1201-you come to rest in the seat . [He]_{578-my dad} leans in over [me]_1201-you and fastens [my]_1201-you seat belt , [his]_{578-my dad} fresh water smell and minty breath invading [my]_1201-you nostrils . [I]_1201-you recognise it , even in [my]_1201-you inebriated state . As [he]_{578-my dad} pulls back , hovering in [my]_1201-you line of sight , there are [two of [him]_{578-my dad}]_{2915-two of him} . [I]_1201-you try to focus , eventually homing in on a huge smile . ‘_[1201-you] [You]_1201-you ’re adorable , even when [you]_1201-you ’re_[1201-you] legless , ’ [He]_{578-my dad} leans in , giving [me]_1201-you a chaste kiss on [my]_1201-you lips . ‘_[1201-you] [You]_1201-you ’re coming [home]_281-home with [me]_1201-you . ’_[1201-you] It would seem that all functions have ceased , except for the drunken , argumentative part of [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_1201-you ’m_[1201-you] not coming to [yours]_1201-you . ’ [I]_1201-you slur . ‘_[1201-you] Yes , [you]_1201-you are . ’ [he]_{578-my dad} asserts . [I]_2342-matt still recognise [his]_{578-my dad} stern tone , even in [my]_2342-matt drunken stupor . Not that [I]_2342-matt ’ll take much notice of it , though . The passenger door shuts firmly and [he]_{578-my dad} ’s soon behind the wheel . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not , [you]_1201-you can take [me]_2342-matt [home]_281-home . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Forget it , [Ava]_832-ava . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not leaving [you]_1201-you in this state on [your]_1201-you own . End of . ’ ‘_[1201-you] [You]_1201-you ’re bossy , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt complain . ‘ [I]_2342-matt want to go [home]_281-home . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt actually do n’t know what [I]_2342-matt want to do . Does it matter where [I]_2342-matt sleep tonight ? No , it does n’t , but [my]_2342-matt drunken need to remain defiant is hijacking any reasonableness that ’s left in [my]_2342-matt wine drenched brain . [I]_2342-matt want to go [home]_281-home and that ’s it ! [He]_1203-he laughs . ‘ Get use to it . ’_[1203-he] ‘ No ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt flop [my]_2342-matt head back on the head rest and close [my]_2342-matt eyes . [I]_2342-matt understood that statement enough to challenge it . [I]_2342-matt ’m surprised [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] still coherent . ‘ [You]_1201-you ’re_[1201-you] adorable , but [you]_1201-you ’re also a pain in the arse when [you]_1201-you ’re_[1201-you] drunk . ’ [he]_1203-he grumbles . ‘_[1201-you] Good . ’ [I]_327-jesse say haughtily . [He]_1203-he starts [the car]_{548-the car} and the vibrations from the engine instantly play havoc with [my]_327-jesse wine filled stomach . [I]_327-jesse hear [him]_1203-he laugh to [himself]_1203-he . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’ ‘_[832-ava] Yes , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ ‘_[832-ava] How old are [you]_327-jesse ? ’ What a ridiculous question . Even if [he]_1203-he did relent on this obsession with keeping [his]_1203-he age a classified , [I]_832-ava would n’t remember in the morning . [He]_1203-he sighs . ‘_[832-ava] Twenty five , ’ [I]_832-ava really am very drunk and [car]_846-car spin is beginning to set in , even though [my]_832-ava eyes are closed . ‘_[832-ava] It does n’t matter how old [you]_1201-you are . ’ [I]_832-ava mumble . ‘_[832-ava] It does n’t ? ’ ‘_[832-ava] No , it does n’t . Nothing matters – [I]_2342-matt still love [you]_1201-you . ’ [I]_2342-matt hear a sharp intake of breath before [I]_2342-matt pass out . Chapter 20 Ouch ! [I]_2342-matt squint at the bombardment of light that ’s hammering at [my]_2342-matt sensitive eyes and snap them shut again . Oh , that hurts . Shuffling onto [my]_2342-matt side , [I]_2342-matt immediately realise that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not in [my]_2342-matt own bed . [My]_2342-matt eyes fly open , and [I]_2342-matt sit up . Oh , ouch ! [My]_2342-matt hands grip [my]_2342-matt head to try and ease the pain . It does n’t work . Short of shooting [my]_2342-matt brain out , nothing is going to alleviate the thumping . This is a non - curable hangover . [I]_2342-matt know it . [I]_2342-matt gaze around [the room]_{2350-the room} , recognising [my]_2342-matt surroundings immediately . [I]_2342-matt ’m in [the master suite of [Lusso]_66-lusso]_{2920-the master suite of lusso} . Okay , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] at a total loss at how [I]_2342-matt come to be [here]_314-here . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never been so drunk that [my]_2342-matt memory has failed [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt try retracing [my]_2342-matt night , instantly remembering [Jesse]_327-jesse roughing up [poor Cockney]_169-cockney . Then [I]_2342-matt remember dancing . [I]_2342-matt also remember arguing with [Jesse]_327-jesse in [the toilets]_{2363-the toilets} . And then [I]_2342-matt remember dancing again . Oh , and [I]_2342-matt remember [Tom]_60-tom having a hissy fit , but then … nothing . [I]_2342-matt would ask [myself]_2342-matt how [I]_2342-matt come to be [here]_314-here , but [I]_2342-matt really do n’t need to ask that question if [Jesse]_327-jesse was in [the bar]_{361-the bar} . [I]_2342-matt grasp the bedding , lifting the sheets to look under the covers . Well , [I]_2342-matt have [my]_2342-matt bra and pants on , so [I]_2342-matt ca n’t imagine any [Jesse]_327-jesse style fucking went down . [I]_2342-matt smile to [myself]_2342-matt . Oh Lord , [I]_2342-matt need a toothbrush and some water , pronto . [I]_2342-matt gingerly push [myself]_2342-matt up , untangling [myself]_2342-matt from the bedding as [I]_2342-matt go , reveling in the waft of [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s scent as it hits [my]_2342-matt nostrils . Every slight movement crashes into [my]_2342-matt poor head . When [I]_2342-matt ’m on [my]_2342-matt feet , stood in just [my]_2342-matt underwear , [I]_2342-matt stagger . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] still drunk . ‘ And how is [[my]_2342-matt lady]_{2921-my lady} lush this morning ? ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt voice is smug . Why did n’t [he]_2342-matt stop [me]_2342-matt drinking ? [He]_2342-matt saunters over to [me]_2342-matt , looking too fucking delicious in [his]_2342-matt tight , white boxer shorts and with [his]_2342-matt morning messy hair . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt probably look awful , with [my]_2342-matt loose hair and crusty make - up . ‘ Terrible . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt confess moodily . Was that [me]_2342-matt speaking ? [I]_2342-matt ’m throaty . [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_2342-matt chuckle to [himself]_2342-matt . If [I]_2342-matt could coordinate [my]_2342-matt movements , [I]_2342-matt would swing at [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_2342-matt arms wrap around [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] thankful for the support . [I]_2342-matt bury [my]_2342-matt head in [his]_2342-matt chest and could , quite easily , drift back off to sleep . ‘ Do [you]_2342-matt want some breakfast ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks , stroking [my]_2342-matt hair . Even [his]_2342-matt soft rubs against [my]_2342-matt skull are unbearably loud , and [I]_2342-matt nearly vomit at the thought of food . [He]_2342-matt must feel [my]_2342-matt dry heaves and body jerks because [he]_2342-matt laughs again . ‘ Just some water then ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Please . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mumble into [his]_2342-matt chest . ‘ Come here . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt scoops [me]_2342-matt up and carries [me]_2342-matt [downstairs]_{2323-downstairs} to [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , placing [me]_2342-matt on the worktop gently . ‘ Oh ! ’_[2342-matt] Shit , that ’s cold ! [He]_2342-matt laughs , easing [his]_2342-matt grip away slowly , like [he]_2342-matt ’s afraid [I]_2342-matt might fall off . [I]_2342-matt might do , [I]_2342-matt feel [God]_68-god awful . [I]_2342-matt grab the edge of [the worktop]_{2614-the worktop} to steady [myself]_2342-matt and watch , through half open eyes , as [Jesse]_327-jesse opens almost every cupboard in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} before [he]_2342-matt finds the one with the glasses in . ‘ [You]_2922-you do n’t know where [you]_2922-you keep [your]_2922-you own glasses ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt rummages through a drawer , pulling out a white sachet . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] learning . [[My]_2342-matt housekeeper]_{887-my housekeeper} tried to tell [me]_2342-matt , but [I]_2342-matt was a little distracted . ’ [He]_2342-matt rips the sachet open and tips it into a glass . The muscles of [his]_2342-matt back roll as [he]_2342-matt gets a bottle of water from the fridge , filling the glass quickly , before walking back over to [me]_{179-alka - seltzer} . ‘_{[179-alka - seltzer]} [Alka - Seltzer]_{179-alka - seltzer} . It ’ll sort [you]_1212-you out within half an hour . Drink , ’ [I]_{179-alka - seltzer} reach to take it from [him]_2342-matt , but [my]_{179-alka - seltzer} arms wo n’t liaise with [my]_{179-alka - seltzer} brain . Without a word , [he]_2342-matt moves between [my]_{179-alka - seltzer} thighs and lifts the glass to [my]_{179-alka - seltzer} lips for [me]_{179-alka - seltzer} . [I]_{179-alka - seltzer} guzzle the lot . ‘_{[179-alka - seltzer]} More ? ’ [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m never drinking again . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mumble , falling forward onto [his]_2342-matt chest . ‘ That would please [me]_2342-matt so much . [You]_1212-you ’re_[2342-matt] very argumentative when [you]_1212-you ’re drunk . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt strokes [my]_2342-matt back . ‘ [I]_2342-matt am ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t remember . ‘ Yes , promise [me]_2342-matt [you]_1212-you wo n’t get in that state when [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not around to look after [you]_1212-you . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Did [we]_1213-we argue ? ’ [I]_1213-we ask . [I]_1213-we remember the toilet dispute , but [we]_1213-we were [friends]_2512-friends after that . [He]_2342-matt sighs . ‘_[1213-we] No , [I]_2342-matt submitted power temporarily . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] That must have been a challenge . ’ [I]_2342-matt reply dryly . [He]_2342-matt reaches up , snapping [my]_2342-matt bra strap . ‘_[2342-matt] It was , but [you]_1212-you ’re worth the effort . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt turns [his]_2342-matt face into [me]_2342-matt , kissing [my]_2342-matt hair before pulling back and focusing [his]_2342-matt stare on [my]_2342-matt semi - naked state . ‘ [I]_2342-matt love [you]_1212-you in lace . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says softly , tracing the top of [my]_2342-matt knickers . ‘ Shower ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt nod against [his]_2342-matt shoulder , wrapping [my]_2342-matt arms and legs around [him]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt slides [me]_2342-matt from the counter . [I]_2342-matt ’m carried back through [the penthouse]_{2382-the bathroom} , [upstairs]_{2469-upstairs} into [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} and put on [my]_2342-matt feet outside the shower . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] left briefly as [he]_2342-matt turns the shower on . [I]_2342-matt feel wobbly . As soon as [he]_2342-matt ’s in front of [me]_2342-matt again , [I]_2342-matt flop forward onto [his]_2342-matt chest . ‘ [You]_2342-matt are feeling sorry for [yourself]_2342-matt , are n’t [you]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt picks [me]_2342-matt up and places [me]_2342-matt on the vanity unit . ‘ [I]_2342-matt have fond memories of [you]_2342-matt sat exactly here . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt frown to [myself]_2342-matt , but then realise … [our]_1214-our first sexual encounter happened in here on the launch night of [Lusso]_66-lusso . [I]_2342-matt look up into hazy , green eyes staring down at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_2342-matt finally got [me]_2342-matt where [you]_2342-matt wanted [me]_2342-matt , did n’t [you]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt cups [his]_2342-matt hand on [my]_2342-matt cheek . ‘ It was always going to happen , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt grabs [his]_2342-matt toothbrush , squirts some toothpaste on and runs it under the tap . ‘ Open . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt orders . [He]_2342-matt sets about brushing [my]_2342-matt teeth gently , holding [my]_2342-matt jaw in [his]_2342-matt free hand . [I]_2342-matt watch [him]_2342-matt concentrate on [his]_2342-matt small , circling movements around [my]_2342-matt mouth as [my]_2342-matt dance floor revelation comes back to [me]_2342-matt – the moment that [I]_2342-matt finally admitted to [myself]_2342-matt that [I]_2342-matt have , most definitely , fallen in love with [this man]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt was n’t so drunk when that little realisation crashed into [my]_2342-matt wine drenched brain . [My]_2342-matt aim to avoid exactly this has been well and truly trampled . [I]_2342-matt ’ve fallen in love with this arrogant , forceful , God like creature . [Bollocks]_180-bollocks ! [I]_2342-matt reach up to cup [his]_2342-matt stubbled cheek in [my]_2342-matt hand , and [his]_2342-matt eyes jump to [mine]_2342-matt , [his]_2342-matt lips parted ever so slightly . [He]_2342-matt stops brushing and turns [his]_2342-matt face into [my]_2342-matt palm , kissing it tenderly . Yep , [I]_2342-matt love [him]_2342-matt . Oh God , what am [I]_2342-matt going to do ? ‘ Spit . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says quietly against [my]_2342-matt hand . [I]_2342-matt drop [my]_2342-matt hand from [his]_2342-matt face and lean over the sink to rid [my]_2342-matt mouth of toothpaste before returning to face [him]_2342-matt . Running [his]_2342-matt thumb across [my]_2342-matt lip , [he]_2342-matt collects some stray paste and slides [his]_2342-matt thumb in [his]_2342-matt mouth to clean off what [he]_2342-matt ’s swept up . ‘ Thank [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt utter through [my]_2342-matt cracked voice . The corner of [his]_2342-matt mouth cocks into a half smile . ‘ It ’s just as much for [my]_2342-matt benefit as it is for [yours]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt smiles , leaning in and kissing [me]_2342-matt soft and slow on the lips , [his]_2342-matt tongue sweeping through [my]_2342-matt mouth tenderly . [I]_2342-matt sag on a sigh . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] rubbish at hangovers . Is there anything [I]_2342-matt can do to make it better ? ’ [He]_2342-matt pulls [me]_2342-matt off of [the unit]_{2926-the unit} , so [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] stood before [him]_2342-matt , and reaches around to clinch [my]_2342-matt bum , effectively holding [me]_2342-matt up . ‘ Have [you]_2342-matt got a gun ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask [him]_2342-matt seriously . That would cure [my]_2342-matt pounding head . [He]_2342-matt laughs a proper belly laugh . ‘ That bad , huh ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , why is it so funny ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ It ’s not , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sorry . ’ [He]_2342-matt straightens [his]_2342-matt face and runs [his]_2342-matt middle finger down the side of [my]_2342-matt cheek . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m going to make it all better now . ’_[2342-matt] Oh ? Alcohol , quite clearly , has not killed off [my]_2342-matt libido because every dehydrated nerve ending has just sprung to life . [I]_2342-matt must look hideous , and [he]_2342-matt ’s getting all fresh with [me]_2342-matt ? [We]_1215-we ’re not on even ground here . [He]_2342-matt ’s fierce and [God]_68-god damn delectable in [his]_2342-matt morning roguishness , smelling all musky , mixed with fresh water . [I]_1216-his , on the other hand , have a hangover from Hell and must resemble something like a scarecrow , but [he]_2342-matt does n’t seem to be bothered . [He]_2342-matt reaches around [my]_1216-his back , unclasps [my]_1216-his bra and removes it before leaning down and giving each one of [my]_1216-his nipples a quick peck . [They]_2927-they harden instantly under the brief contact from [his]_2342-matt lips , [my]_1216-his breasts becoming heavy burdens on [my]_1216-his chest . [My]_1216-his body has been completely distracted from the after affects of alcohol and is now buzzing all over in anticipation of [his]_2342-matt touch . As [his]_2342-matt head raises and [his]_2342-matt lips find [mine]_1216-his , [my]_1216-his hands slide up [his]_2342-matt arms and delve into [his]_2342-matt soft , blonde mass of hair . Oh God [I]_1216-his ’ve missed this . It ’s only been four days , but [I]_1216-his ’ve missed it so much , it frightens [me]_1216-his . ‘_[1216-his] [You]_1216-his ’re addictive , ’_[1216-his] [he]_1216-his breathes against [my]_2342-matt mouth . ‘ [We]_1218-we ’re_[1216-his] going to make [friends]_2512-friends properly now . ’ ‘_{[2512-friends]} Are [we]_1218-we not [friends]_2512-friends ? ’ [I]_832-ava ask . [My]_832-ava voice is breathy and desperate . ‘_[832-ava] Not properly , but [we]_1218-we will be soon , [baby]_832-ava . ’ A wave of tremors fly through [me]_832-ava as [he]_1216-his kisses [my]_832-ava nose gently and drops to [his]_1216-his knees in front of [me]_832-ava , spanning [my]_832-ava hips with [his]_1216-his big palms , hooking [his]_1216-his thumbs into the top of [my]_832-ava knickers . [I]_832-ava tense and wait , but [he]_1216-his makes no attempt to remove them . [I]_832-ava look down at [him]_1216-his and watch [him]_1216-his kneeling there , [his]_1216-his forehead resting on [my]_832-ava stomach , as [I]_832-ava weave [my]_832-ava fingers through [his]_1216-his dark blonde hair . [We]_2928-we remain like that for an eternity , trapped in [our]_2928-we own little dream state , just [me]_832-ava watching [him]_1216-his as [he]_1216-his rolls [his]_1216-his forehead across [my]_832-ava tummy , back and forth . [He]_1216-his eventually takes a deep breath and leans in , placing [his]_1216-his lips below [my]_832-ava bellybutton and letting them linger there for a few seconds before slowly dragging [my]_832-ava knickers down [my]_832-ava legs . [He]_1216-his taps [my]_832-ava ankle – a wordless instruction to lift – and repeats the same on [my]_832-ava other foot . [I]_832-ava look down at [him]_1216-his knelt before [me]_832-ava , [his]_1216-his head lowered , and [I]_832-ava know something ’s playing on [his]_1216-his mind . [I]_832-ava tug on [his]_1216-his hair to snap [him]_1216-his out of [his]_1216-his daydream , and [he]_1216-his turns [his]_1216-his face up to [me]_832-ava , [his]_1216-his eyes meeting [mine]_832-ava . [His]_1216-his frown line is heavy on [his]_1216-his forehead as [he]_1216-his reaches up , spreads [his]_1216-his palms on [my]_832-ava backside and dips [his]_1216-his head , kissing [my]_832-ava stomach again . [He]_1216-his ’s behaving peculiarly . ‘_[832-ava] What ’s wrong ? ’ [I]_832-ava ca n’t keep [my]_832-ava concern to [myself]_832-ava any longer . [He]_1216-his looks up at [me]_832-ava and smiles , but it does n’t reach [his]_1216-his eyes . ‘_[832-ava] Nothing . ’ [he]_1216-his says unconvincingly . ‘_[832-ava] Nothing ’s wrong . ’ No sooner am [I]_832-ava preparing to challenge [him]_1216-his , [his]_1216-his face is buried in the apex of [my]_832-ava thighs and [my]_832-ava legs have buckled . ‘_[832-ava] Ohhhhh ! ’ [My]_832-ava head flies back and [my]_832-ava grip on [his]_1216-his hair tightens . In one foul lick , [he]_1216-his has [me]_832-ava lock stock , and the niggling urge to press [him]_1216-his is forgotten . [He]_1216-his moves [his]_1216-his grip to [my]_832-ava hips , causing [me]_832-ava to jerk wildly . [He]_1216-his ’s the only thing holding [me]_832-ava up . [I]_832-ava feel [his]_1216-his hot , skillful tongue circle [my]_832-ava hypersensitive nub of nerves , rounding with slow , precise movements before delving deep into [my]_832-ava core . There is not a single bit of [me]_832-ava [he]_1216-his ’s not exploring . ‘_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt need a shower , ’ [I]_2342-matt complain . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt need [you]_2342-matt , ’ [he]_1216-his mumbles against [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sent into a melting mess as [he]_2342-matt increases the pressure , digging [his]_2342-matt fingers into [my]_2342-matt hips . [I]_2342-matt grind against [his]_2342-matt mouth , it ’s only a matter of seconds before [I]_2342-matt ’m falling to pieces , the surging pressure crashing down into [my]_2342-matt groin having [me]_2342-matt holding [my]_2342-matt breath , with [my]_2342-matt heart jumping into [my]_2342-matt throat . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt taste incredible . Tell [me]_2342-matt when [you]_2342-matt ’re close . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] close ! ’ [I]_2342-matt gasp on a long rush of breath . Holy shit , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] close ! ‘ [Someone]_587-someone ’s keen this morning . ’_[2342-matt] A hand is removed for [my]_2342-matt hip and two fingers plunge into [me]_2342-matt , sending [me]_2342-matt into orbit . ‘ Oh , shit ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout . ‘ Please ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt must be ripping [his]_2342-matt hair out . ‘ Watch … [your]_2342-matt … fucking … mouth . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt scorns [me]_2342-matt , between powerful , even strokes . [He]_2342-matt ca n’t tell [me]_2342-matt off for swearing during these moments . It ’s [his]_2342-matt fault for putting [me]_2342-matt through this . [He]_2342-matt stretches [my]_2342-matt opening with [his]_2342-matt fingers , circling and thrusting , while working [my]_2342-matt clit with [his]_2342-matt thumb and lapping at [my]_2342-matt sensitive lips with [his]_2342-matt tongue . It ’s a torturous pleasure that [I]_2342-matt could endure forever , if it was n’t for the increasing pressure weighing down on [me]_2342-matt , demanding release . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout desperately . With a few more measured strokes of [his]_2342-matt fingers , thumb and tongue , [I]_2342-matt ’m hurled off the edge of [a cliff]_{2930-a cliff} and freefalling into nothing , the banging of [my]_2342-matt dehydrated brain replaced with sparks of pleasure . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] cured . [He]_2342-matt laps and sucks , slowly and gently , easing [me]_2342-matt down at a steady rate , [my]_2342-matt body relaxing and [my]_2342-matt heart rate leveling out . [I]_2342-matt keep [my]_2342-matt palms on [his]_2342-matt head , tracing slow , light circles in [his]_2342-matt hair . ‘ [You]_1220-you ’re_[2342-matt] the best hangover cure . ’ [I]_1220-you exhale , on a long satisfied breath . ‘_[1220-you] [You]_1220-you ’re the best everything cure . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt counters . [His]_2342-matt tongue traces up the middle of [my]_2342-matt stomach , between [my]_2342-matt breasts as [he]_2342-matt rises to [his]_2342-matt feet . [He]_2342-matt continues the trail up [my]_2342-matt neck , tilting [my]_2342-matt head on a groan as [he]_2342-matt laps up [my]_2342-matt taut throat . ‘ Hmmm , now , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt kisses [my]_2342-matt chin softly . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to fuck [you]_2342-matt in the shower , ’ [He]_2342-matt tugs [my]_2342-matt chin so [my]_2342-matt head comes back down . [He]_2342-matt kisses [my]_2342-matt lips . ‘_[2342-matt] Deal ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Deal , ’ [I]_2342-matt agree . What a stupid question . [I]_2342-matt ’ve not had [him]_2342-matt for four days . Where was [he]_2342-matt ? [I]_2342-matt elect not to ask . [I]_2342-matt doubt [I]_2342-matt would get a straight answer anyway . Instead , [I]_2342-matt take [my]_2342-matt time running [my]_2342-matt palms down [his]_2342-matt lovely chest , settling [my]_2342-matt eyes on [his]_2342-matt evil scar – something else [I]_2342-matt doubt [he]_2342-matt ’ll divulge . ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t even ask . How ’s [your]_1221-i head ? ’ [I]_1221-i snap [my]_1221-i eyes from [his]_2342-matt scar , back up to [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt ’s looking at [me]_1221-i with a warning look . Yeah , [I]_1221-i wo n’t be challenging that tone , or that face . ‘_[1221-i] Better . ’ [I]_1221-i answer . [I]_1221-i am . [His]_2342-matt face softens , and [he]_2342-matt looks down at [his]_2342-matt boxers . [I]_1221-i take the hint , slipping [my]_1221-i hand into the waist band , brushing [his]_2342-matt hair with the back of [my]_1221-i hand and skimming over [his]_2342-matt morning erection . [I]_1221-i flick [my]_1221-i eyes to [his]_2342-matt and find them regarding [me]_1221-i carefully . When [I]_1221-i move in closer , [he]_2342-matt takes the opportunity to lower [his]_2342-matt forehead onto [mine]_1221-i , blessing [me]_1221-i with [his]_2342-matt signature minty breath . [We]_1222-we ’re_[1221-i] surrounded by steam now , condensation settling all over [us]_1222-we , and [I]_2342-matt can see [his]_2342-matt chest hair dampening , gripping to [his]_2342-matt skin as [I]_2342-matt slip [my]_2342-matt hands around the back of [his]_2342-matt boxers , smoothing [my]_2342-matt palms over [his]_2342-matt tight , extraordinary arse . ‘ [I]_2342-matt love this . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt whisper , molding [my]_2342-matt palms over [his]_2342-matt cheeks . [He]_2342-matt rolls [his]_2342-matt forehead against [mine]_2342-matt . ‘ It ’s all [yours]_2342-matt , [baby]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile [my]_2342-matt approval and smooth [my]_2342-matt palms back to the front , grasping [his]_2342-matt thick , pulsing arousal at the base . ‘ [I]_2342-matt really love this . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt groans in appreciation , swooping down to claim [my]_2342-matt lips , raiding [my]_2342-matt mouth possessively , forcing [me]_2342-matt to release [my]_2342-matt grip of [his]_2342-matt hard length and take [my]_2342-matt hand back to [his]_2342-matt arse . [I]_2342-matt ’m yanked into [his]_2342-matt chest , getting a full impact blow of [his]_2342-matt hardness pushed into [my]_2342-matt groin . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] already commencing build up . The urgent need to have [him]_2342-matt inside [me]_2342-matt has [me]_2342-matt breaking [our]_1223-our kiss and tugging at [his]_2342-matt boxers to get them down [his]_2342-matt long , lean legs . [He]_2342-matt releases one hand from [my]_2342-matt bum to assist , [his]_2342-matt boxers soon rid of , [his]_2342-matt massive erection pointing straight at [me]_2342-matt . It ’s twitching , it wants in . And the drop of moisture that ’s beading on the tip tells [me]_2342-matt this is going to be a shock and awe moment . [I]_2342-matt ’m right . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] swiftly grabbed around the waist and pulled upwards against [his]_2342-matt heaving body . ‘ Get [your]_2931-your thighs around [my]_2342-matt waist . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt growls against [my]_2342-matt neck , as [he]_2342-matt sucks and bites at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt comply without a thought , wrapping [my]_2342-matt legs around [his]_2342-matt waiting body when [he]_2342-matt lifts [me]_2342-matt , [his]_2342-matt arousal slipping over [my]_2342-matt swollen entrance , causing a desperate cry to escape [my]_2342-matt mouth . ‘ Oh God , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt gasp . [He]_2342-matt crashes [his]_2342-matt lips against [mine]_2342-matt , moaning as [our]_1224-us tongues perform a ceremonial dance in [our]_1224-us mouths . [My]_2342-matt hands smooth down [his]_2342-matt stubble as [he]_2342-matt holds [me]_2342-matt with one arm wrapped around [my]_2342-matt waist and walks [us]_1224-us into the open ended shower . [I]_2342-matt ’m immediately pinned against the tiles , [his]_2342-matt palm slapping into the wall above [my]_2342-matt head as [he]_2342-matt worships [my]_2342-matt mouth , hot water raining down all around [us]_1224-us . ‘_[2342-matt] This is going to be hard , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_2342-matt warns . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_832-ava can scream . ’ Oh , [Lord]_832-ava , help [me]_832-ava . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] burning all over , and it has nothing to do with the hot water pouring all over [us]_1224-us . [I]_2342-matt move [my]_2342-matt hands around to grip [his]_2342-matt back when [I]_2342-matt feel [him]_2342-matt rear back , ready to enter [me]_2342-matt , [my]_2342-matt thighs relaxing to give [him]_2342-matt room . Bringing [his]_2342-matt hand down from the wall , [he]_2342-matt guides [himself]_2342-matt to [my]_2342-matt entrance , looking straight into [my]_2342-matt eyes as the head of [his]_2342-matt erection probes at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt shiver . ‘ [You]_2342-matt and [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says as [he]_2342-matt lowers [his]_2342-matt lips to [mine]_2342-matt , kissing [me]_2342-matt ravenously . ‘ Let ’s not fight it anymore . ’_[2342-matt] And on a sharp shift of [his]_2342-matt hips , [he]_2342-matt thrusts upwards , filling [me]_2342-matt to the absolute hilt , slamming [his]_2342-matt hand back into the wall beside [my]_2342-matt head on a roar . ‘ God ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scream . ‘ No , [baby]_832-ava , that ’s [me]_2342-matt , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt strains between powerful thrusts , pushing [me]_2342-matt further up the tiled wall . ‘ Feels good , does n’t it ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt claw at [him]_2342-matt , trying to get some grip , but the pounding water at [his]_2342-matt back is making it impossible to hold [him]_2342-matt . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt throw [my]_2342-matt head back , panting and crazy with pleasure , as with each hard strike [he]_2342-matt pushes [me]_2342-matt further towards absolute ecstasy . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_2342-matt lips close around [my]_2342-matt exposed throat , the water making them skim and slide over [my]_2342-matt flaming skin . ‘ [You]_2342-matt feel so fucking perfect , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt groans against [my]_2342-matt throat , continuing with [his]_2342-matt strong , voracious tempo . ‘ Remember yet ? ’_[2342-matt] Oh , this is a reminder fuck ! [He]_2342-matt has no need to worry . There ’s not a chance [I]_2342-matt could ever forget . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , have [you]_832-ava remembered yet ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt barks , making a point of slamming out each word . ‘ [I]_2342-matt never forgot ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt cry , helpless to [his]_2342-matt punishing crashes against [my]_2342-matt body . [I]_2342-matt release [his]_2342-matt back , knowing [he]_2342-matt ’ll hold [me]_2342-matt in place , and pull [his]_2342-matt face up to [mine]_2342-matt , [my]_2342-matt hands brushing away the pouring water that ’s trailing down [his]_2342-matt face . [His]_2342-matt eyes lift to find [mine]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt never forgot . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt cry through hard slams . Feeling [him]_2342-matt move inside [me]_2342-matt , feeling [him]_2342-matt tremble with the intensity of [our]_1225-our joined bodies moving together , has [my]_2342-matt emotions tackling [me]_2342-matt from every angle . [He]_2342-matt gasps , tilting [his]_2342-matt head to claim [my]_2342-matt lips . It ’s a kiss of significance . [I]_2342-matt melt into it . This is not helping [me]_2342-matt with [my]_2342-matt attempts to rein in [my]_2342-matt emotions . [He]_2342-matt moans into [my]_2342-matt mouth as [I]_2342-matt hold onto [his]_2342-matt face , soaking up the passion radiating from every pore of [his]_2342-matt body . [He]_2342-matt pounds on , hard and fast . As [our]_1225-our mutual hunger assails [us]_1225-our and [I]_2342-matt reach the point of no return , [I]_2342-matt lock [my]_2342-matt thighs around [his]_2342-matt narrow hips , every muscle in [my]_2342-matt body bracing for the snap and release that ’s on the horizon . [He]_2342-matt shudders , mumbling incoherent words against [my]_2342-matt lips . Oh , fucking hell ! [He]_2342-matt throws [his]_2342-matt head back . ‘ Jesus fucking Christ ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse , please ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt cry . This is bordering on unbearable . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know what to do with [myself]_2342-matt . It ’s too much . [He]_2342-matt brings [his]_2342-matt eyes back down to [mine]_2342-matt . [They]_1226-they ’re dark and hooded . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] slightly concerned . ‘ Harder , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[1226-they] What ? Oh God , [he]_2342-matt ’s going to rip [me]_2342-matt in half . ‘ Answer the question . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt demands . ‘ Yes ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scream . Can this get any harder ? [He]_2342-matt growls deep in [his]_2342-matt throat , increasing [his]_2342-matt thrusts to an even more determined , purposeful pace – a pace that [I]_2342-matt would never have thought possible . [I]_2342-matt tighten [my]_2342-matt thighs to the point of pain , but that just increases the friction and , subsequently , [my]_2342-matt pleasure . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m thrown over the threshold , erupting around [him]_327-jesse on a scream . The loud groan that bursts from [his]_327-jesse lips signals [he]_327-jesse ’s with [me]_2342-matt as [he]_327-jesse holds [himself]_327-jesse deep inside [me]_2342-matt , [his]_327-jesse big body jerking against [mine]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse bellows [my]_2342-matt name , and [I]_2342-matt feel the warm sensation of [his]_327-jesse release within [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt drop [my]_2342-matt head to [his]_327-jesse shoulder , [my]_2342-matt heart beating a fast staccato in [my]_2342-matt chest . Oh [my]_2342-matt God ! [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] held in place with one arm , the forearm of [his]_1227-his other resting against the wall , [his]_1227-his face buried in [my]_2342-matt neck . [He]_1227-his ’s breathless , and [my]_2342-matt muscles are naturally bonding to [his]_1227-his beating length as [he]_1227-his rocks gently into [me]_2342-matt . The shower is pouring down on [us]_1228-us , but [I]_2342-matt can still hear [our]_1228-us ragged breaths over the pounding water . ‘ Holy shit . ’_[1227-his] [he]_1227-his whispers through [his]_1227-his suppressed breathing . [I]_2342-matt sigh . Yes , holy shit , indeed . That was beyond intense . [My]_2342-matt mind is like jelly , and [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt wo n’t be able to stand if [he]_1227-his tries to put [me]_2342-matt down . As if reading [my]_2342-matt mind , [he]_1227-his turns [us]_1228-us so [his]_1227-his back is against the tiles and slides down the wall , taking [me]_2342-matt with [him]_1227-his so [I]_2342-matt ’m straddling [his]_1227-his lap on the shower floor . [My]_2342-matt face is planted on [his]_1227-his chest , and [I]_2342-matt can still feel [him]_1227-his pulsing inside [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] totally wrecked . [My]_2342-matt hangover has been chased away , but it ’s been replaced with complete exhaustion . [He]_1227-his had better be set to stay [here]_314-here for a while because [I]_2342-matt ’m going nowhere . [I]_65-ha close [my]_65-ha eyes as [I]_65-ha lay peacefully , stuck to [his]_1227-his sharp body . ‘_[65-ha] [Lady]_65-ha , [you]_65-ha ’re [mine]_65-ha forever . ’_[1227-his] [he]_1227-his says softly as [he]_1227-his strokes [my]_2342-matt wet back with both hands . [My]_2342-matt eyes open and many thoughts invade [my]_2342-matt recuperating brain , but [the loudest one]_{1231-the loudest one} is screaming … [I]_2342-matt want to be . [I]_2342-matt do n’t say it , though . [I]_2342-matt ’m mindful that [we]_2933-we ’re_[2342-matt] having amazing sex , and [he]_1227-his wants to keep [me]_2342-matt for exactly that , which would be fine by [me]_2342-matt , if [I]_2342-matt was n’t so sure that this eventually has to end . Sex on this scale is unfathomable to [me]_2342-matt . It could n’t possibly last forever . It ’ll wear out and that will be that . But now , after having [my]_2342-matt realisation , [I]_2342-matt ’m petrified [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to be left restoring a broken heart . [My]_2342-matt damn willpower sucks , but [I]_2342-matt ca n’t resist [him]_1227-his . ‘ Are [we]_2933-we friends ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask , resting [my]_2342-matt lips on [his]_1227-his chest and kissing [my]_2342-matt way around [his]_1227-his nipple . ‘ [We]_2933-we ’re_{[2512-friends]} [friends]_2512-friends , [baby]_832-ava . ’ [I]_2342-matt smile into [his]_1227-his chest . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m glad . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Me]_1227-his too . ’_[1227-his] [he]_1227-his says quietly . ‘ So glad . ’_[1227-his] ‘ Where have [you]_1227-his been ? ’_[1227-his] ‘ It ’s does n’t matter , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[1227-his] ‘ It matters to [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt argue quietly . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] back . That ’s all that matters . ’ [He]_1227-his clinches [my]_2342-matt bum and pulls [me]_2342-matt closer to [him]_1227-his . Yes , it is . But it does n’t make [me]_2342-matt any less curious . And the fact that [he]_1227-his wo n’t tell [me]_2342-matt is just fueling [my]_2342-matt curiosity . Where has [he]_1227-his been ? ‘_[2342-matt] Tell [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_832-ava push . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , leave it . ’ [His]_1227-his voice is stern . [I]_832-ava sigh and peel [myself]_832-ava from [his]_1227-his chest , lifting [my]_832-ava heavy eyes to [his]_1227-his . ‘_[832-ava] Fine . [I]_2342-matt need to wash [my]_2342-matt hair . ’ [He]_1227-his pushes [my]_2342-matt wet locks away from [my]_2342-matt face and drops a gentle kiss on [my]_2342-matt lips . ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_832-ava hungry yet ? ’ [I]_2342-matt am actually . Hangover sex has built [me]_2342-matt up an incredible appetite . ‘_[2342-matt] Very . ’ [I]_2342-matt climb off of [him]_1227-his , reaching for the shampoo . ‘_[2342-matt] Is this it ? ’ [I]_{1234-no conditioner} look at the shampoo , then to [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘_{[1234-no conditioner]} [No conditioner]_{1234-no conditioner} ? ’ ‘_{[1234-no conditioner]} No , sorry . ’ [He]_1227-his pushes [himself]_1227-his up from the shower floor , taking the bottle from [my]_2342-matt hand and squeezing some into [my]_2342-matt hair . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt want to do it . ’ [I]_2342-matt relinquish hair washing duties , letting [him]_1227-his laver up [my]_2342-matt hair , [his]_1227-his big palms gently sweeping over [my]_2342-matt head . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to have to wash it again when [I]_2342-matt get [home]_281-home . [No conditioner]_{1234-no conditioner} spells trouble , but it smells of [him]_{1234-no conditioner} , so [I]_2342-matt really do n’t care . [I]_2342-matt close [my]_2342-matt eyes , let [my]_2342-matt head fall back and absorb the rhythmic movements of [his]_{1234-no conditioner} hands . All too soon , [he]_{1234-no conditioner} ’s positioning [me]_2342-matt under the shower to rinse away the suds . ‘ What the fuck are [they]_2934-they ? ’_{[1234-no conditioner]} [he]_{1234-no conditioner} splutters . ‘ What ? ’_{[1234-no conditioner]} [I]_2342-matt turn to find out what [he]_{1234-no conditioner} ’s talking about . [I]_2342-matt catch a glimpse of a shocked expression as [he]_{1234-no conditioner} grabs [me]_2342-matt , turning [me]_2342-matt so [my]_2342-matt back is to [him]_{1234-no conditioner} again . ‘ [Them]_2934-they ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look over [my]_2342-matt shoulder , finding [him]_{1234-no conditioner} gawking at [my]_2342-matt bum and the faded bruises from [my]_2342-matt little jaunt in the back of [Margo]_1052-margo . With the look of horror on [his]_{1234-no conditioner} face , [you]_1236-you would think [I]_2342-matt had a skin eating disease . [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes . ‘ [I]_2342-matt fell over in the back of [Margo]_1052-margo . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ What ? ’_{[1234-no conditioner]} [he]_{1234-no conditioner} snaps impatiently . ‘ [I]_2342-matt was holding up the cake in the back of [Margo]_1052-margo , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt remind [him]_{1234-no conditioner} . ‘ [I]_2342-matt got chucked about a bit . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ A bit ? ’_{[1234-no conditioner]} [he]_{1234-no conditioner} gasps , running [his]_{1234-no conditioner} palm across [my]_2342-matt bum . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [you]_832-ava look like [you]_832-ava ’ve been used as a rugby ball . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt laugh . ‘ It does n’t hurt . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No more cake propping , ’_{[1234-no conditioner]} [he]_{1234-no conditioner} demands . ‘ [I]_{1234-no conditioner} mean it . ’_{[1234-no conditioner]} ‘ [You]_832-ava ’re_[2342-matt] overreacting . ’ [He]_{1234-no conditioner} grumbles some inaudible words and kneels , planting [his]_{1234-no conditioner} soft lips on each on [my]_2342-matt cheeks . [I]_2342-matt close [my]_2342-matt eyes and sigh . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll be having a word with [Kate]_2557-kate too . ’ [he]_{1234-no conditioner} adds , and [I]_2342-matt highly suspect [he]_{1234-no conditioner} will . Standing again , [he]_{1234-no conditioner} turns [me]_2342-matt back around to face [him]_{1234-no conditioner} , sweeping the water from [my]_2342-matt face . [I]_2342-matt open [my]_2342-matt eyes , finding [him]_{1234-no conditioner} staring down at [me]_2342-matt , [his]_{1234-no conditioner} face expressionless , but [his]_{1234-no conditioner} eyes tell a different story . [He]_{1234-no conditioner} ’s mad because of a few bruises ? The last time [he]_{1234-no conditioner} got mad over a few bruises , [I]_2342-matt did n’t see [him]_{1234-no conditioner} for four days . [He]_{1234-no conditioner} leans down and rests [his]_{1234-no conditioner} lips on [my]_2342-matt collar bone before running [his]_{1234-no conditioner} tongue up [my]_2342-matt neck and clamping [his]_{1234-no conditioner} teeth on [my]_2342-matt earlobe , tugging gently . [His]_{1234-no conditioner} hot breath in [my]_2342-matt ear has [me]_2342-matt shuddering . Bloody hell , [I]_2342-matt could go again ! ‘_[2342-matt] Later , ’ [he]_{1234-no conditioner} whispers , and [I]_2342-matt moan in disappointment . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t get enough of [him]_{1234-no conditioner} . ‘_[2342-matt] Out . ’ [he]_{1234-no conditioner} demands , turning [me]_2342-matt and clenching [my]_2342-matt waist from behind to guide [me]_2342-matt from the shower . [I]_2342-matt stand quietly , letting [him]_{1234-no conditioner} run the towel all over [my]_2342-matt body and through [my]_2342-matt hair to soak up the excess water . [He]_{1234-no conditioner} ’s being so attentive and caring . [I]_2342-matt like it . In fact , [I]_2342-matt like it way too much . ‘_[2342-matt] All done , ’ [He]_{1234-no conditioner} wraps the towel around [his]_{1234-no conditioner} waist without drying [himself]_{1234-no conditioner} . [I]_2342-matt really want to lean up and lick off the beads of water that are dripping over [his]_{1234-no conditioner} shoulders , but [my]_2342-matt hand is grasped and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] pulled back into [the bedroom]_{2350-the room} before [I]_2342-matt can follow through on [my]_2342-matt intent . [I]_2342-matt look around [the room]_{2350-the room} . Where ’s [my]_2342-matt dress ? [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to do the walk of shame in [my]_2342-matt short , black number . [My]_2342-matt eyes return to [Jesse]_327-jesse after [I]_2342-matt ’ve scanned [the room]_{2350-the room} . [I]_2342-matt drawl , watching [him]_327-jesse pull on some jeans . ‘ No boxers ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [He]_327-jesse tucks [himself]_327-jesse in and gingerly zips [himself]_327-jesse up on a dark grin . ‘ No , [I]_327-jesse do n’t want any unnecessary obstructions . ’_[327-jesse] [His]_327-jesse tone is suggestive and very confident . [I]_2342-matt frown . ‘ Obstructions ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse pulls a crisp white t - shirt over [his]_327-jesse wet hair and down [his]_327-jesse rippling abdominals . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt ’m gawping . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes , obstructions , ’ [he]_327-jesse confirms in a low husk . [He]_327-jesse strides over to [my]_2342-matt naked form and wraps [his]_327-jesse palm around the nape of [my]_2342-matt neck to pull [my]_2342-matt face close to [his]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] Get ready . ’ [he]_327-jesse whispers , pressing [his]_327-jesse lips hard on [mine]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse ’s got to stop this if [he]_327-jesse ’s not going to see [me]_2342-matt through . ‘_[2342-matt] Where ’s [my]_2342-matt dress ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask against [his]_327-jesse lips . [He]_327-jesse releases [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . ’ [he]_327-jesse says dismissively , casually striding out of [the room]_{2350-the room} . What ? [He]_327-jesse must have taken it off because [I]_2342-matt was in no fit state to coordinate a strip . [I]_2342-matt go into [the bathroom]_{2349-the kitchen} to get [my]_2342-matt underwear , at least [I]_2342-matt know where that is … no , [I]_2342-matt do n’t . [My]_2342-matt bra and knickers are gone . Okay , [he]_327-jesse ’s playing games . [I]_2342-matt go to [his]_327-jesse walk - in - wardrobe and find – what [I]_2342-matt expect to be – the most expensive shirt on the rail . [I]_2342-matt slip it on and make [my]_2342-matt way [downstairs]_{2323-downstairs} , finding [him]_327-jesse in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . [He]_327-jesse ’s sat at [the island]_{2653-the island} , dipping [his]_327-jesse finger in a jar of peanut butter . [His]_327-jesse smile dazzles [me]_2342-matt as [he]_327-jesse looks up , [his]_327-jesse lips wrapped around a peanut butter covered finger . ‘_[2342-matt] Come here . ’ [he]_327-jesse orders . [I]_2342-matt stand in [the archway]_{2939-the archway} , naked except for a white dress shirt , and frown at [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] No . ’ [I]_2342-matt decline , watching as [his]_327-jesse smile dulls into a straight line . ‘_[2342-matt] Come … here . ’ [He]_327-jesse punctuates the words slowly . ‘_[2342-matt] Tell [me]_2342-matt where [my]_2342-matt dress is . ’ [I]_2342-matt challenge . [He]_327-jesse narrows [his]_327-jesse eyes at [me]_2342-matt and places [his]_327-jesse jar of peanut butter , calmly and precisely , on the work surface . [Those cogs]_{2940-those cogs} are working hard again and [his]_327-jesse finger is tapping ferociously on the worktop as [he]_327-jesse stares [me]_2342-matt down . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_1238-you have three seconds . ’ [he]_327-jesse declares , [his]_327-jesse voice dark , [his]_327-jesse face straight . [I]_1238-you raise [my]_1238-you eyebrows . ‘_[1238-you] Three seconds for what ? ’ ‘_[1238-you] To get [your]_1238-you arse over here . ’ It ’s that fierce tone . ‘_[1238-you] Three , ’ [My]_1238-you eyes widen . Is [he]_327-jesse serious ? ‘_[1238-you] What happens if [you]_1238-you make it to zero ? ’ ‘_[1238-you] Do [you]_1238-you want to find out ? ’ [He]_327-jesse remains completely impassive . ‘_[1238-you] Two , ’ What ? Do [I]_1110-one want to find out ? Fucking hell , [he]_327-jesse ’s not given [me]_1110-one much time to run this over . ‘_[1110-one] [One]_1110-one , ’ Shit ! [I]_2342-matt bolt towards [his]_327-jesse outstretched arms , colliding against [his]_327-jesse hard body . There was no mistaking the dark look of satisfaction [I]_2342-matt got a glimpse of before [my]_2342-matt head was buried in [his]_327-jesse neck . [I]_2342-matt do n’t even know what happens on zero , but [I]_2342-matt do know how much [I]_2342-matt love [his]_327-jesse arms around [me]_2342-matt , so it ’s a no brainer really . Oh , that feels good . As [my]_2342-matt face nuzzles between [his]_327-jesse pecs and [I]_2342-matt trace [my]_2342-matt fingers over [his]_327-jesse back , [I]_2342-matt can hear [his]_327-jesse heartbeats slow under [my]_2342-matt ear . [He]_327-jesse exhales and stands , placing [me]_2342-matt on [the island]_{2653-the island} , working [his]_327-jesse way between [my]_2342-matt thighs . [He]_327-jesse rests [his]_327-jesse palms on the tops of [my]_2342-matt legs . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt like [your]_2342-matt shirt . ’ [He]_327-jesse skates [his]_327-jesse palms over [my]_2342-matt thighs . ‘_[2342-matt] Is it expensive ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask on a pout . ‘_[2342-matt] Very , ’ [He]_327-jesse smirks . [He]_327-jesse knows [my]_2342-matt game . ‘_[2342-matt] What do [you]_2342-matt remember about last night ? ’ Oh ? Yes , [I]_2342-matt was ridiculously drunk , shockingly brazen on the dance floor , and [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt might have admitted to [myself]_2342-matt that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] in love with [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt does n’t need to know the last revelation . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_{[1240-a good dancer]} [a good dancer]_{1240-a good dancer} . ’ [I]_{1240-a good dancer} say instead . ‘_{[1240-a good dancer]} What can [I]_2342-matt say ? [I]_2342-matt ’m a sucker for [JT]_175-jt , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt shrugs it off swiftly . ‘ What else do [you]_2342-matt remember ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Why ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask on a frown . [He]_2342-matt sighs . ‘ At what point do [you]_2342-matt draw a blank ? ’_[2342-matt] Where is [he]_2342-matt going with this ? ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t remember getting [home]_281-home , if that ’s what [you]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] getting at . [I]_2342-matt do realise [I]_2342-matt was stupidly drunk and highly irresponsible . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_1241-you do n’t remember anything after the bar ? ’ ‘_[1241-you] No . ’ [I]_1241-you admit . That ’s never happened to [me]_1241-you before . ‘_[1241-you] That ’s a shame . ’ [His]_2342-matt sludgy eyes search [mine]_1241-you for something , [I]_1241-you ’ve no clue what . ‘_[1241-you] What ’s a shame ? ’ ‘_[1241-you] Nothing , ’ [He]_2342-matt leans down , kissing [me]_1241-you tenderly on the lips , smoothing [his]_2342-matt palms over [my]_1241-you face . ‘_[1241-you] How old are [you]_1241-you ? ’ [I]_1241-you ask as [I]_1241-you look [him]_2342-matt straight in the eye . [He]_2342-matt dips [his]_2342-matt lips to [mine]_1241-you again , coaxing them open and slowly swirling [his]_2342-matt tongue around [my]_1241-you mouth before biting [my]_1241-you bottom lip and tugging gently . ‘_[1241-you] Twenty six . ’ [he]_2342-matt whispers , planting soft , skimming kisses all over [my]_1241-you mouth . ‘_[1241-you] [You]_1241-you missed twenty five . ’ [I]_1241-you mumble , closing [my]_1241-you eyes in complete contentment . ‘_[1241-you] No , [I]_2342-matt did n’t . [You]_1241-you just ca n’t remember asking [me]_2342-matt . ’ ‘_[1241-you] Oh . After the bar ? ’ [He]_2342-matt rubs [his]_2342-matt nose against [mine]_1241-you . ‘_[1241-you] Yes , after the bar . ’ [He]_2342-matt pulls back and runs [his]_2342-matt thumb across [my]_1241-you bottom lip . ‘_[1241-you] [You]_1241-you feeling better ? ’ ‘_[1241-you] Yes , [you]_1241-you need to feed [me]_2342-matt . ’ [He]_2342-matt laughs , planting a chaste kiss on [my]_1241-you lips . ‘_[1241-you] Are [you]_1241-you making demands ? ’ ‘_[1241-you] Yes , ’ [I]_1241-you say haughtily . ‘_[1241-you] Get [me]_2342-matt [my]_2342-matt clothes . ’ [He]_2342-matt narrows [his]_2342-matt eyes on [me]_1241-you , making a play for [my]_1241-you hip bone , squeezing it hard and sending [me]_1241-you jolting across the worktop on a squeal . ‘_[1241-you] Who has the power , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ ‘_[832-ava] What are [you]_1241-you talking about ? ’ [I]_2342-matt laugh around [his]_2342-matt torturous squeezes . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m talking about how much easier [we]_2943-we ’ll get along if [you]_1241-you accept who holds the power . ’_[2342-matt] Oh , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t bear it anymore . ‘ [You]_1241-you do ! ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt releases [me]_2342-matt immediately . ‘ [Good girl]_{2335-good girl} . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt grabs [my]_2342-matt hair and yanks [me]_2342-matt forward , landing [me]_2342-matt with a hard , forceful kiss . ‘ Do n’t forget it . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt melt into [him]_2342-matt , absorbing [his]_2342-matt so called power on a long drawn out sigh . All too soon , [he]_2342-matt leaves [me]_2342-matt on [the worktop]_{2614-the worktop} and returns a few minutes later with [my]_2342-matt underwear , dress , shoes and bag . [I]_2342-matt scowl at [him]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt take them . ‘ Do n’t look at [me]_2342-matt like that , [lady]_2342-matt . [You]_2342-matt wo n’t be wearing that dress again , [I]_2342-matt can assure [you]_2342-matt . Put the shirt over it . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt gives the dress a disapproving look before leaving [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} to take a call . [I]_2342-matt laugh to [myself]_2342-matt . Who holds the power ? [Me]_2342-matt , that ’s who ! [Control freak]_{1244-control freak} ! [I]_2342-matt throw [my]_2342-matt clothes on and rummage through [my]_2342-matt bag to try and find [my]_2342-matt contraceptive pills , but [they]_1245-i ’re nowhere to be seen . [I]_1246-i tip out the entire contents of [my]_1246-i clutch onto the worktop and rifle through the crap that [I]_1246-i harbour in [my]_1246-i bag , only to find [I]_1246-i did n’t put them in . ‘_[1246-i] [You]_1246-i ready ? ’ [I]_1245-i turn to see [Jesse]_327-jesse in the archway to [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} with [his]_327-jesse hand held out . ‘_[1245-i] Two seconds . ’ [I]_1245-i stuff [my]_1245-i things back in [my]_1245-i bag and walk over , taking [his]_327-jesse outstretched hand . ‘_[1245-i] Lost something ? ’ [he]_327-jesse asks , leading [me]_1245-i out of [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} . ‘_[1245-i] No , [I]_2342-matt must have left [them]_1245-i at [home]_281-home . ’ [He]_327-jesse looks down at [me]_2342-matt with a questioning look . ‘_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt pills , ’ [His]_327-jesse eyebrows rise . ‘_[2342-matt] It ’s a good job [Cathy]_181-cathy is n’t [here]_314-here . [You]_1249-you would give [her]_181-cathy a heart attack in that dress . ’ ‘_[181-cathy] [Cathy]_181-cathy ? ’ ‘_{[887-my housekeeper]} [[My]_2342-matt housekeeper]_{887-my housekeeper} , ’ [He]_327-jesse looks down at [my]_{887-my housekeeper} dress disapprovingly and sets about fastening the buttons of [his]_327-jesse shirt . ‘_{[887-my housekeeper]} Better . ’ [he]_101-clive concludes on a small satisfied smile . [We]_1252-we exit [the elevator]_{780-the elevator} and [I]_66-lusso ’m_[66-lusso] pulled through [the foyer of [Lusso]_66-lusso]_{1251-the foyer of lusso} , [Clive]_101-clive doing a double take as [we]_1252-we pass . ‘ Morning , [Mr Ward]_327-jesse . ’_[101-clive] [he]_101-clive greets cheerfully . ‘ [You]_101-clive look better this morning , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse nods at [Clive]_101-clive but does n’t slow [his]_101-clive long strides . [I]_2342-matt blush profusely , smiling sweetly as [I]_2342-matt scuttle along , keeping up with [Jesse]_327-jesse . How embarrassing . [I]_2342-matt seriously doubt [I]_2342-matt look better than last night . [My]_2342-matt hair is damp , [I]_2342-matt ’ve not a scrap of make - up on and [I]_2342-matt ’m wearing last night ’s clothes with [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s shirt over the top . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] bundled into [the Aston Martin]_{1253-the aston martin} and drove [home]_281-home at the usual hair raising speed , while [Ian Brown]_327-jesse soothes [my]_2342-matt ears . Outside [Kate]_2557-kate ’s , [I]_2342-matt let [myself]_2342-matt out of [[his]_327-jesse car]_{2476-his car} and meet [him]_327-jesse on [the pavement]_{2745-the pavement} . [His]_327-jesse eyes follow [me]_2342-matt until [I]_2342-matt ’m stood before [him]_327-jesse and [he]_327-jesse ’s looking down at [me]_{830-a slave} with those glorious , green eyes . [I]_{830-a slave} do n’t want [him]_327-jesse to go . [I]_{830-a slave} want [him]_327-jesse to take [me]_{830-a slave} back to [[his]_327-jesse tower]_{2947-his tower} in the sky and hide [me]_{830-a slave} there forever , in [his]_327-jesse bed – with [him]_327-jesse in it too . [I]_{830-a slave} ’m_{[830-a slave]} [a slave]_{830-a slave} to [this man]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been completely and utterly taken . [I]_2342-matt step forward , pushing [my]_2342-matt front into [his]_327-jesse chest , tilting [my]_2342-matt head up to [him]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse stands casually , with [his]_327-jesse hands resting lightly in [his]_327-jesse jean pockets , [his]_327-jesse twinkling eyes watching [me]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt reach up on [my]_2342-matt tiptoes and brush [my]_2342-matt lips over [his]_327-jesse . That ’s all it takes for [him]_327-jesse to remove [his]_327-jesse hands from [his]_327-jesse pockets and heave [me]_2342-matt to [his]_327-jesse chest , plunging [his]_327-jesse tongue into [my]_2342-matt mouth , fiercely taking whatever [he]_327-jesse wants . It ’s totally fine . [He]_327-jesse can have it . [My]_2342-matt arms find [their]_1258-their way around [his]_327-jesse neck , and [I]_2342-matt absorb it all as [he]_327-jesse rolls and laps at [my]_2342-matt mouth , completely consuming [me]_2342-matt . Trouble … so much bloody trouble . Once [he]_327-jesse ’s taken what [he]_327-jesse wants , [he]_327-jesse pulls away on a long exhale , leaving [me]_2342-matt breathless and wanting so much more . [I]_2342-matt turn on [my]_2342-matt unsteady legs , taking [myself]_2342-matt up the path to [Kate]_2557-kate ’s front door . [I]_2342-matt should smile , [I]_2342-matt ’m quite happy with [myself]_2342-matt and all the sex [I]_2342-matt ’ve had , but the ache in [my]_2342-matt gut is a screaming indictor that [I]_2342-matt ca n’t ignore . [I]_2342-matt turn to watch [him]_327-jesse drive off but find [him]_327-jesse close behind , looking down at [me]_2342-matt . [My]_2342-matt brow furrows . What ’s [he]_{74-a god} doing ? If [he]_{74-a god} ’s come for another goodbye kiss , then [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] game . ‘ What are [you]_{74-a god} doing ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] coming in to wait for [you]_{74-a god} . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Where am [I]_2342-matt going ? ’ ‘_{[74-a god]} [You]_{74-a god} ’re coming to work with [me]_{74-a god} , ’_{[74-a god]} [he]_{74-a god} replies , like [I]_2342-matt should know this . [He]_{74-a god} ’s going to work ? Of course , hotels do n’t close on weekends , but what am [I]_2342-matt going to do while [he]_{74-a god} ’s working ? Do [I]_2342-matt care as long as [I]_2342-matt ’m with [him]_{74-a god} ? ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_{74-a god} just kissed [me]_2342-matt goodbye . ’ A smile plays at the corners of [his]_{74-a god} mouth . ‘_[832-ava] No , [Ava]_832-ava . [I]_2342-matt just kissed [you]_{74-a god} . ’ [He]_{74-a god} brushes a damp lock of hair from [my]_2342-matt face . ‘_[2342-matt] Get ready . ’ Oh , okay . [He]_{74-a god} orders [me]_2342-matt about all over [the place]_{308-the place} and [I]_2342-matt comply , mostly without a second thought . [I]_2342-matt really am [a slave]_{830-a slave} to [him]_{74-a god} . [I]_2342-matt walk into [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} , with [Jesse]_327-jesse in tow , to find [Kate]_2557-kate and [Sam]_1914-sam sprawled across the sofa , a tangle of semi - naked arms and legs , eating cornflakes . [Neither of [them]_{2951-neither of them}]_{2951-neither of them} makes any urgent attempt to cover up . ‘_[2342-matt] Hey , [[my]_2342-matt man]_{74-a god} , ’ [Sam]_1914-sam exclaims when [he]_1914-sam looks up and sees [Jesse]_327-jesse . [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s eyes travel over [Sam]_1914-sam ’s half nakedness , a look of disapproval clear on [his]_327-jesse face . ‘_[2342-matt] How are [you]_{74-a god} feeling , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [he]_327-jesse asks . [I]_832-ava roll [my]_832-ava eyes . Yes , [I]_832-ava was steaming drunk , but as it happens , [I]_832-ava feel fine now – [Jesse]_327-jesse has fucked [me]_832-ava better . ‘_[832-ava] Good . ’ [I]_2342-matt answer , glancing at [Kate]_2557-kate with a get - in - [[my]_2342-matt - room]_{2682-my room} - NOW look . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll be as quick as [I]_2342-matt can . ’ [I]_587-someone leave [Jesse]_327-jesse in [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} and retreat to [[my]_587-someone room]_{2682-my room} , pacing while waiting for [Kate]_2557-kate . [Victoria]_54-victoria ’s disclosure comes back into [my]_587-someone mind , and now [I]_587-someone do n’t know what to do . [She]_2557-kate swans in , looking all roughed up . ‘_{[587-someone]} [Someone]_587-someone looks thoroughly fucked ! ’ [she]_2557-kate laughs . [I]_587-someone narrow [my]_587-someone eyes on [her]_2557-kate . There ’s one more thing [I]_587-someone need to clear up first . ‘_{[587-someone]} Why did [you]_1261-you tell [Sam]_1914-sam where [I]_2342-matt was ? ’ [I]_1261-you spit accusingly . [She]_2557-kate recoils . ‘_[1261-you] [You]_1261-you ’re mad at [me]_1261-you ? ’_[1261-you] ‘ Yes … no … a little bit . ’_[2342-matt] Oh , [I]_2342-matt ’m not mad in the slightest . [I]_2342-matt was a bit last night , but not now . [She]_2557-kate gives [me]_2342-matt a mischievous grin . ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t look at [me]_2342-matt like that [Kate Matthews]_2557-kate . What ’s going on with [you]_1261-you and [Sam]_1914-sam ? ’ ‘_[1914-sam] Adorable , is n’t [he]_1914-sam ? ’ [She]_2557-kate winks . ‘_[1914-sam] It ’s just a bit of fun . ’ Well , fun or not , [she]_2557-kate needs to know . ‘_[1914-sam] [You]_1261-you should know that [Victoria]_54-victoria saw [him]_1914-sam being doused in a frappuccino by [some irate woman in [Starbucks]_12-starbucks]_{1262-some irate woman in starbucks} . ’ [I]_2342-matt pull [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s shirt and [my]_2342-matt dress over [my]_2342-matt head , flinging them both to the floor . [Kate]_2557-kate rolls [her]_2557-kate eyes and scoops them up , placing them on [my]_2342-matt bed before flopping down on [my]_2342-matt duvet , [her]_2557-kate red hair fanning around [her]_2557-kate pale face . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt know . It ’s [the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} . ’ ‘_{[1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend]} [He]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} told [you]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} ? ’ [I]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} ca n’t keep the shock from [my]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} voice . ‘_{[1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend]} Yeah , it ’s no big shakes . ’ ‘_{[1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend]} Oh , ’ [I]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} ca n’t believe how laid back [she]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} is . Ever [the calm and collective one]_{2954-the calm and collective one} , nothing fazes [her]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} . [She]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} looks up at [me]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} . ‘_{[1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend]} [You]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} ’re not the only one getting a good seeing to , ’_{[1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend]} [she]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} says seriously . [I]_2342-matt gape at [her]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} . ‘ It ’s written all over [your]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} face , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] going to work with [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’ [I]_327-jesse grab [my]_327-jesse dryer to try and salvage the damp mess that is [my]_327-jesse hair . ‘_[327-jesse] Have fun . ’ [I]_2342-matt hear [her]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} chant as [she]_{1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend} sashays out of [[my]_2342-matt room]_{2682-my room} . [I]_2342-matt flip [my]_2342-matt head upside down and rough dry [my]_2342-matt mass of brunette hair , ignoring the fact that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] rushing to get back to [Jesse]_327-jesse . When [I]_2342-matt flick [my]_2342-matt head back up to the mirror , an image of [Jesse]_327-jesse , propped up against [my]_2342-matt headboard , smacks [me]_2342-matt in the face . [His]_327-jesse arms are casually braced behind [his]_327-jesse head . [He]_327-jesse practically fills [my]_2342-matt double bed . [I]_2342-matt flick [my]_2342-matt dryer off , turning to face green eyes burning holes into [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt want to crawl up that bed and into [him]_327-jesse . ‘ Hey , [baby]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse looks [me]_2342-matt up and down . ‘ Hey , [yourself]_327-jesse , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt grin . ‘ Comfortable ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse bounces [himself]_327-jesse lightly . ‘ No , [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] only comfortable with one thing under [me]_2342-matt these days . ’ [His]_327-jesse eyebrows raise suggestively . That look and those words have [my]_327-jesse knees quivering and coils of craving springing into every crevice of [my]_327-jesse body . [I]_327-jesse watch as [he]_327-jesse pushes [himself]_327-jesse up from [my]_327-jesse bed and walks slowly over to [me]_327-jesse , turning [me]_327-jesse to face [my]_327-jesse wardrobe . Reaching over one of [my]_327-jesse shoulders , [he]_327-jesse flicks through the rails of clothes , pulling out [my]_327-jesse cream shirt dress . ‘_[327-jesse] Put this on , ’ [he]_327-jesse breathes in [my]_327-jesse ear . ‘_[327-jesse] And make sure there ’s lace underneath it . ’ [I]_327-jesse clench [my]_327-jesse eyes shut . [I]_327-jesse was thinking more along the lines of jeans and a t - shirt , but [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] more than happy to go with that . [I]_2342-matt reach forward , taking the hanger from [him]_1264-his , moaning when [his]_1264-his hand falls down and brushes over [my]_2342-matt breast , [his]_1264-his hips rolling forward into [my]_2342-matt lower back . Oh , good Lord , STOP ! ‘ Be quick . ’_[1264-his] [He]_1264-his slaps [my]_2342-matt bum lightly and stalks out , leaving [me]_2342-matt a wobbly mess and holding onto [my]_2342-matt cream dress for support . [I]_2342-matt shake [myself]_2342-matt back to life , shiver on a little gasp and finish getting [myself]_2342-matt ready . Pulling out every handbag [I]_2342-matt own , [I]_2342-matt proceed to search for [my]_2342-matt pills , but [they]_1265-i ’re nowhere to be found . [I]_1265-i find [Kate]_2557-kate in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} making tea , still in just a t - shirt . ‘_[1265-i] Have [you]_1266-you seen [my]_2342-matt pills ? ’ [I]_1265-i rummage through the junk drawer in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , housing everything from batteries and phone chargers to lipsticks and nail polish . ‘_[1265-i] Are n’t they in [your]_1266-you bag ? ’ ‘_[1265-i] No , ’ [I]_1265-i slam the drawer on a frown . ‘_[1265-i] Have [you]_1266-you checked all [your]_1266-you bags ? ’ [Kate]_2557-kate asks , walking out of [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} with two mugs of tea . ‘_[1265-i] Yes , ’ [I]_1265-i proceed to delve through every other drawer in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , even though [I]_1265-i know [they]_2957-they ca n’t possibly be in among the cutlery or utensils . ‘_[1265-i] Problem ? ’ [I]_2342-matt look up , finding [Jesse]_327-jesse filling the doorway . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t find [my]_2342-matt pills . ’ [I]_2342-matt try , in complete vain , searching through [my]_2342-matt bag again , but [they]_2957-they ’re_[2342-matt] definitely not there . ‘ Find [them]_2957-they later , come on . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt puts [his]_2342-matt hand out . ‘ [I]_2342-matt like [your]_2342-matt dress . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says softly , running [his]_2342-matt gaze up and down [me]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt walk towards [him]_2342-matt . Of course [he]_2342-matt does ; [he]_2342-matt picked it . [He]_2342-matt reaches under the hem to run [his]_2342-matt forefinger up the inside of [my]_2342-matt thigh , watching [me]_2342-matt as [my]_2342-matt lips clamp together and [my]_2342-matt hands fly up to [his]_2342-matt chest . [He]_2342-matt smirks dirtily and sweeps [his]_2342-matt finger under [my]_2342-matt knickers seam , brushing [my]_2342-matt sex softly . [I]_2342-matt sigh . ‘ Wet . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt whispers , circling [me]_2342-matt slowly . [I]_2342-matt could weep with pleasure . ‘ Later . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt withdraws [his]_2342-matt finger and licks it clean . [I]_2342-matt scowl at [him]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_2342-matt have to stop doing that . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Never , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt grins , yanking [me]_2342-matt out of [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . ‘ Say goodbye to [[your]_2342-matt friend]_2557-kate . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Bye ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout . ‘ [She]_2557-kate ’s [[your]_2342-matt friend]_2557-kate too , is n’t [she]_2557-kate ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt have n’t hit [him]_2342-matt with the little exchange [he]_2342-matt and [Kate]_2557-kate had in [the bar]_{361-the bar} last night . [He]_2342-matt looks at [me]_2342-matt , [his]_2342-matt frown line skipping across [his]_2342-matt forehead . ‘ At the bar , whispering in [her]_2557-kate ear . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt add casually . [He]_2342-matt opens the front door , ushering [me]_2342-matt out . ‘ [She]_2557-kate gave [me]_2342-matt a dig for fucking off , and [I]_2342-matt apologised . [I]_2342-matt do n’t offer apologies very often , so do n’t push it . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt laugh . [I]_2342-matt do n’t expect [he]_2342-matt does . But [he]_2342-matt did – for [me]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt still has n’t explained where [he]_2342-matt disappeared to , though . Chapter 21 [We]_1269-we drive out of [the city]_{2326-the city} , towards [the Surrey Hills]_{1-surrey hills} . [I]_2342-matt catch a glimpse of [him]_2342-matt , every now and then , watching [me]_2342-matt instead of [the road]_{2482-the road} . Each time , [he]_2342-matt smiles and squeezes [my]_2342-matt knee , which has had [his]_2342-matt palm spread on it for most of the journey . [I]_2342-matt start thinking about how little [I]_2342-matt know about [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt ’s intense , quite volatile , incredibly self - assured and extremely rich . Oh , and [he]_2342-matt ’s wild in [the sex department]_{1272-the sex department} . But that ’s all [I]_2342-matt know . [I]_2342-matt do n’t even know how old [he]_2342-matt is . ‘ How long have [you]_2958-you owned [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [He]_2342-matt throws [me]_2342-matt a curious , arched eyebrow and turns down the music via the controls on [his]_2342-matt steering wheel . ‘ Since [I]_2342-matt was twenty one , ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [That young]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blurt , [my]_2342-matt tone clearly displaying [my]_2342-matt shock at [his]_2342-matt answer . [He]_2342-matt smiles brightly at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt inherited The Manor from [[my]_2342-matt Uncle [Carmichael]_327-jesse]_{2960-my uncle carmichael} . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [He]_2342-matt died ? ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt smile disappears . ‘ Yes . ’_[2342-matt] Okay , now [I]_2342-matt really want to know more . ‘ How old are [you]_2342-matt , [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Twenty seven . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says , completely impassive . [I]_2342-matt sigh . ‘ Why wo n’t [you]_2342-matt tell [me]_2342-matt how old [you]_2342-matt are ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt looks over at [me]_2342-matt , grinning . ‘ Because , [you]_2342-matt might think [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] too old for [you]_1273-you and run a mile . ’ [I]_2342-matt eye [him]_2342-matt suspiciously across [the car]_{548-the car} . [He]_2342-matt ca n’t be that old . [I]_2342-matt want to scream at [him]_2342-matt that [I]_2342-matt wo n’t be running anywhere . ‘_[2342-matt] Okay , how many times have [I]_2342-matt got to ask [you]_1273-you before [we]_1274-we get to [your]_1273-you real age ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ’ve tried this before and got nowhere . [He]_2342-matt grins . ‘_[2342-matt] A few , ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m twenty six . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt try for a bit of give and take as [I]_2342-matt watch [him]_2342-matt closely . [He]_2342-matt glances at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt know . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ How ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Your]_2342-matt licence , ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_2342-matt went through [my]_2342-matt bag as well as [my]_2342-matt phone ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt cry incredulously , but [he]_2342-matt just shrugs . [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head in dismay . It ’s an unwritten rule . [This man]_2342-matt really does n’t have any manners . ‘ Do [you]_2342-matt think [you]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] too old for [me]_2342-matt ? ’ Given what [he]_2342-matt has done to [me]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] guessing the answer is no , but as it seems like such an issue , it ’s worth an ask . ‘ No , [I]_2342-matt do n’t . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt keeps [his]_2342-matt eyes on [the road]_{2482-the road} . ‘ [My]_2342-matt issue is [your]_2342-matt issue . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt frown . ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t have an issue . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt turns [his]_2342-matt handsome face towards [me]_2342-matt , all smoky eyed and glorious . ‘ Then stop asking [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt rest [my]_2342-matt head back against the seat on a huff , watching [the countryside]_{293-the countryside} pass [us]_1277-we by . [His]_2342-matt age does n’t bother [me]_2342-matt in the slightest – not now , anyway . [I]_2342-matt do n’t think there ’s anything that could change [my]_2342-matt mind on this . [I]_2342-matt turn towards [him]_2342-matt . ‘ What about [[your]_2342-matt parents]_{2962-your parents} ? ’_[2342-matt] The straight line [his]_2342-matt lips form has [me]_2342-matt immediately regretting the question . ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t see [them]_{2962-your parents} . ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt tone is dismissive . [I]_2342-matt sit back and say no more . [His]_2342-matt contemptuous approach makes [me]_2342-matt all the more curious , but it also makes [me]_2342-matt shut [my]_2342-matt trap . [We]_1277-we pull up at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} and [Jesse]_327-jesse flips a switch on the dash , opening the gates . As [we]_1277-we approach [the courtyard]_{307-the courtyard} , [I]_2342-matt see [Big John]_832-ava getting out of [[his]_832-ava Range Rover]_{42-his range rover} , in [his]_832-ava usual black suit and wraparound sunglasses . [He]_832-ava nods in greeting as [I]_2342-matt get out of [the car]_{548-the car} and walk around to [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s side . ‘ What ’s happening , [John]_832-ava ? ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse asks , taking [my]_2342-matt hand and leading [me]_2342-matt up the steps to [[The Manor]_{3-the manor} ’s entrance]_{1281-the manor ’s entrance} . [I]_2342-matt shiver , thinking about the last time [I]_2342-matt was here . [I]_2342-matt did [a runner]_{1282-a runner} , and [I]_2342-matt never thought [I]_2342-matt would be back . But here [I]_2342-matt am . [I]_2342-matt look up at [Jesse]_327-jesse as [he]_327-jesse claps hands with [Big John]_832-ava . [He]_327-jesse ’s turned all business like . ‘ S’all good , ’_[832-ava] [John]_832-ava rumbles , allowing [Jesse]_327-jesse and [me]_2342-matt to pass before following [us]_1283-us through to [the restaurant]_{1284-the restaurant} . [I]_2342-matt ’m surprised how quiet it is for ten o’clock on a Sunday morning in [a hotel]_{321-a hotel} . Is n’t it breakfast time ? [Jesse]_327-jesse stops , turning to face [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] What would [you]_1285-you like to eat ? ’ [He]_327-jesse ’s even talking to [me]_2342-matt all business like . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not fussed . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shrug . [I]_2342-matt ’m feeling uncomfortable and beginning to wish [I]_2342-matt stayed on the sofa with a huge mug of coffee and a duvet . What am [I]_2342-matt going to do while [he]_327-jesse works , anyway ? [His]_327-jesse expression softens . ‘_[2342-matt] What do [you]_1285-you really fancy ? ’ Oh , well , that ’s really easy . ‘_[1285-you] Smoked salmon , ’ ‘_[184-bagel] [Bagel]_184-bagel ? ’ [he]_327-jesse asks , and [I]_184-bagel nod . ‘_[184-bagel] Coffee ? ’ ‘_[184-bagel] Please , ’ ‘_[184-bagel] How do [you]_1285-you take [your]_1285-you coffee ? ’ ‘_{[146-cappuccino]} [Cappuccino]_{146-cappuccino} , extra shot . No chocolate or sugar . ’ ‘_{[146-cappuccino]} [You]_1285-you ’ll eat in [[my]_2342-matt office]_{1011-my office} , ’ [I]_2342-matt shrug . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m easy . ’_[2342-matt] As soon as the words fall from [my]_2342-matt mouth , [I]_2342-matt snap [my]_2342-matt eyes up , discovering twinkling , green pools of delight and a very dirty smirk . ‘ Not a word . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt warn . ‘ It was n’t a question , [Ava]_832-ava . [John]_832-ava , give [me]_2342-matt twenty . [Pete]_185-pete , did [you]_185-pete get that ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt certainly did , [Sir]_185-pete . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Good . Bring [Ava]_832-ava ’s breakfast to [[my]_2342-matt office]_{279-the office} . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt gives [his]_2342-matt orders out while staring at [me]_2342-matt with blazing green eyes . [My]_2342-matt hand is grabbed , and [I]_2342-matt ’m hauled through [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} to [[his]_2342-matt office]_{279-the office} . [I]_2342-matt jog to keep up with [him]_2342-matt , and no sooner has the door to [[his]_2342-matt office]_{279-the office} shut , [my]_2342-matt bag is tossed to the floor and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] thrust up against the back of it , [my]_2342-matt dress around [my]_2342-matt waist . Fucking hell ! Is n’t [he]_2342-matt here to work ? [He]_2342-matt buries [his]_2342-matt face straight in [my]_2342-matt neck , [my]_2342-matt arms flying up to grip [his]_2342-matt t - shirt . [I]_2342-matt knew what was coming . When [he]_2342-matt focused those blazing eyes on [me]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt knew what [he]_2342-matt was thinking . But [I]_2342-matt ’m still caught off guard by [his]_2342-matt ferociousness . Slow , prepared build up , or hard , fast pounce – the affect is still the same . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sucking in short , sharp breaths and ready to beg . ‘ [I]_2342-matt knew it was a bad idea bringing [you]_2966-you here . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to get nothing done . ’ [His]_2342-matt husky voice drums against [my]_2342-matt throat as [he]_2342-matt sucks greedily , [his]_2342-matt palms stroking up either side of [my]_2342-matt body , resting on [my]_2342-matt breasts and kneading through the material of [my]_2342-matt dress . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll go then . ’ [I]_2342-matt breathe . ‘_[2342-matt] Shit ! ’ The sharp thrust of [his]_2342-matt hips tells [me]_2342-matt that was the wrong thing to say . The pressure of [his]_2342-matt body pushing [me]_2342-matt up against the door increases and [his]_2342-matt mouth crashes to [mine]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Watch [your]_2342-matt fucking mouth . ’ [he]_2342-matt grates between strong , swift strokes of [his]_2342-matt tongue . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt ’re going nowhere , [lady]_2342-matt , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt bites [my]_2342-matt lip . ‘ Ever . Are [you]_2342-matt wet ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt pant , grappling at [his]_2342-matt t - shirt . [I]_2342-matt only have to look at [him]_2342-matt and [I]_2342-matt ’m turned on . [His]_2342-matt hands leave [my]_2342-matt breasts , disappearing south , and [I]_2342-matt hear the sound of [his]_2342-matt fly zipper being undone , [his]_2342-matt no obstruction comment now perfectly clear . [My]_2342-matt knickers are yanked to the side . [I]_2342-matt have no time to brace [myself]_2342-matt for the hard and fast that ’s coming . [He]_2342-matt tugs one of [my]_2342-matt legs up to [his]_2342-matt waist , positions [himself]_2342-matt and slams into [me]_2342-matt , thrusting [me]_2342-matt up the door on a loud shout . [I]_2342-matt scream . ‘_[2342-matt] Quiet . ’ [he]_2342-matt barks . [He]_2342-matt gives [me]_2342-matt no time to adjust . [He]_2342-matt pounds into [me]_2342-matt repeatedly , punishingly , over and over , sending [me]_2342-matt skyward in pleasure . [I]_2342-matt press [my]_2342-matt lips together to refrain from shouting out , dropping [my]_2342-matt head onto [his]_2342-matt shoulder in delirious despair . ‘_[2342-matt] Do [you]_1287-you feel [me]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [he]_2342-matt grinds through gritted teeth . [Lord]_832-ava give [me]_832-ava strength , [I]_832-ava think [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] going to pass out . [He]_1288-he ’s working into [me]_2342-matt like [a mad man]_{1289-a mad man} , urgently thrusting and gasping . ‘ Answer the question ! ’_[1288-he] [he]_1288-he ’s shouts . How come [he]_1288-he can shout ? ‘ Yes ! [I]_1288-he feel [you]_1287-you . ’_[1288-he] [He]_1288-he hammers on , pushing [me]_2342-matt further and further into a mind spinning despair . [I]_2342-matt ’m a second from bursting , the one leg [I]_2342-matt was stood on now off the floor from being pushed up the door . ‘_[2342-matt] Does it feel good ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Oh God , yes ! ’ [I]_2342-matt scream as all breath leaves [my]_2342-matt lungs and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] assaulted by [his]_1288-he greedy mouth . ‘ [I]_1288-he said , quiet . ’_[1288-he] [He]_1288-he bites at [my]_2342-matt lip , the pressure bordering on painful . The blazing fire attacking [my]_2342-matt core cracks , fizzles and ruptures , pushing [me]_2342-matt into a fevered bliss as [I]_2342-matt climax on a loud cry , [his]_1288-he mouth capturing [my]_2342-matt screams as [my]_2342-matt mind goes blank . [I]_2342-matt shake uncontrollably against [him]_1288-he , but [he]_1288-he drives on , shouting on [his]_1288-he own explosion , [his]_1288-he erection pulsing and jerking as [he]_1288-he spills [himself]_1288-he deep inside [me]_2342-matt . Oh , [good Lord]_327-jesse , that was way hard and way fast . [My]_2342-matt head is spinning wildly . [I]_2342-matt ’m in complete awe of what [this man]_327-jesse does to [me]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse ’s a bloody genius . And in [[his]_327-jesse office]_{279-the office} ? ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt might bring [you]_327-jesse to work every day . ’ [he]_327-jesse breathes against [my]_2342-matt neck as [he]_327-jesse slowly pulls out of [me]_2342-matt , letting [me]_2342-matt slide down the door . ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_327-jesse okay ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t let go of [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt mumble into [his]_327-jesse shoulder . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t find [my]_2342-matt balance . [He]_327-jesse laughs lightly , wrapping [his]_327-jesse arm around [my]_2342-matt waist to steady [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt blow [my]_2342-matt hair out of [my]_2342-matt face and find [his]_327-jesse stunning eyes in [my]_2342-matt field of vision . [I]_2342-matt smile . ‘_[2342-matt] Hi . ’ ‘_[1291-me] [She]_1291-me ’s back . ’ [He]_327-jesse presses [his]_327-jesse lips to [mine]_2342-matt and picks [me]_1291-me up , carrying [me]_1291-me to the sofa and placing [me]_1291-me down before [he]_327-jesse sets about tucking [himself]_327-jesse in and refastening [his]_327-jesse flies . While [he]_327-jesse collects [my]_1291-me bag from the floor , [I]_1291-me rearrange [my]_1291-me dress and flop back on the sofa , a smile tickling the corners of [my]_1291-me lips . The contrast of [his]_327-jesse persona , from wild and demanding to tender and attentive , is a real brain burner . But [I]_1291-me love both sides . [He]_327-jesse ’s just way too good . [He]_327-jesse comes and sits next to [me]_1291-me , pulling [me]_1291-me in under [his]_327-jesse arm . ‘_[1291-me] [I]_2342-matt thought [you]_65-ha could go up to the extension and start drafting some ideas . ’ ‘_[1291-me] [You]_65-ha still want [me]_2342-matt to design ? ’ [I]_2342-matt sound confused . That ’s okay , because [I]_2342-matt am . [I]_2342-matt thought it was all a ploy to get [me]_2342-matt into bed . ‘_[2342-matt] Of course [I]_2342-matt do . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt thought [you]_65-ha just wanted [me]_2342-matt for [my]_2342-matt body . ’ [I]_2342-matt tease , earning [myself]_2342-matt a flicked nipple . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt want [you]_65-ha for a lot more than [your]_65-ha body , [lady]_65-ha . ’ [He]_2342-matt does ? Like what ? ‘_[65-ha] It ’s Sunday , ’ [I]_65-ha pull away from [his]_2342-matt embrace . ‘_[65-ha] [I]_2342-matt do n’t work on Sundays . Anyway , [I]_2342-matt do n’t have any of [my]_2342-matt kit with [me]_2342-matt . ’ [His]_2342-matt frown line jumps onto [his]_2342-matt forehead as [he]_2342-matt reaches over and yanks [me]_2342-matt onto [his]_2342-matt lap on a slight scowl . ‘_[2342-matt] A pencil and a piece of paper ? ’ [He]_2342-matt nips [my]_2342-matt ear playfully . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sure [I]_2342-matt can provide [you]_2342-matt with those , but [I]_2342-matt ’ll be deducting it from [your]_2342-matt final bill . ’_[2342-matt] Essentially , yes , a few pieces of paper and a pencil is all [I]_2342-matt need at the moment , but its Sunday . [I]_2342-matt can think of a million other things [I]_2342-matt could be doing and would prefer to do . Besides , [I]_2342-matt do n’t need to be sitting in the extension to start pulling ideas together . But then [I]_2342-matt consider the possibility that [he]_1293-his wants [me]_2342-matt out of [[his]_1293-his office]_{279-the office} . [He]_1293-his ’s got [his]_1293-his rocks off and now [I]_2342-matt ’m in the way . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t even get in [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} and go . [I]_2342-matt remove [myself]_2342-matt from [his]_1293-his lap as the door knocks . ‘_[2342-matt] Come in . ’ [he]_1293-his instructs , [his]_1293-his questioning eyes resting on [me]_185-pete . [I]_185-pete ignore [them]_2969-them . The grey haired chap from [the restaurant]_{1284-the restaurant} walks in with a tray and places it on the coffee table . ‘_[185-pete] Thanks , [Pete]_185-pete . ’ [His]_185-pete probing eyes stay on [me]_185-pete . ‘_[185-pete] [Sir]_185-pete , ’ [He]_185-pete nods at [Jesse]_327-jesse and flicks a friendly smile in [my]_185-pete direction before leaving . ‘_[185-pete] Can [I]_2342-matt have some paper ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask , picking the tray up and throwing [my]_2342-matt bag over [my]_2342-matt shoulder . ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_185-pete going to eat [your]_185-pete breakfast ? ’ [He]_185-pete stands , [his]_185-pete brow still furrowed . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll take it [upstairs]_{2469-upstairs} . ’ [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to get under [your]_185-pete feet ! ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , okay . ’ [He]_185-pete walks over to [his]_185-pete desk . [I]_2342-matt try [my]_2342-matt hardest to ignore [his]_185-pete perfect , jean clad arse as [he]_185-pete bends and opens a drawer , pulling out an art pad and a tin of drawing pencils . What ’s [he]_327-jesse got those for ? [They]_2971-they ’re_[2342-matt] not [your]_185-pete average stationary essentials . [He]_327-jesse walks back over , handing them to [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt accept , tucking them under the tray and making [my]_2342-matt way to the door . ‘ Hey , are n’t [you]_185-pete forgetting something ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt turn , finding [his]_327-jesse questioning look has morphed into more of a glare . ‘ What ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [I]_2342-matt know what , but [I]_2342-matt ’m not in the mood to stroke [his]_327-jesse ego . ‘_[2342-matt] Get [your]_185-pete arse over here . ’ [He]_327-jesse flicks [his]_327-jesse head . [My]_2342-matt shoulders drop slightly . It ’s just easier , all round , if [I]_2342-matt give [him]_327-jesse what [he]_327-jesse wants and get out of [his]_327-jesse hair . [I]_2342-matt reach [him]_327-jesse , trying [my]_2342-matt hardest to put on a cheerful face . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] failing miserably . ‘ Kiss [me]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse orders , [his]_327-jesse hands draped casually in [his]_327-jesse jean pockets . [I]_2342-matt reach up on tiptoes and push [my]_2342-matt lips against [his]_327-jesse , ensuring [I]_2342-matt make it more than a peck . [He]_327-jesse does n’t respond . ‘ Kiss [me]_327-jesse like [you]_327-jesse mean it , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse ’s not buying [my]_2342-matt half - hearted attempt to satisfy [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt sigh . [I]_2342-matt ’ve got a tray in [my]_2342-matt hands , [my]_2342-matt bag over [my]_2342-matt shoulder and a pad and pencil buried under the tray . This is proving to be tricky , especially when [he]_327-jesse ’s not assisting . [I]_2342-matt place the tray and drawing equipment on [his]_327-jesse desk and delve [my]_2342-matt hands into [his]_327-jesse hair , pulling [his]_327-jesse face down to [mine]_2342-matt . It takes a nanosecond for [him]_327-jesse to respond . Once [our]_1297-our lips meet , [he]_327-jesse takes [me]_2342-matt completely , [his]_327-jesse arms snaking around [my]_2342-matt waist as [he]_327-jesse bends slightly to accommodate [our]_1297-our height difference . [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to enjoy it , but [I]_2342-matt do – way too much . ‘ Better , ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse says against [my]_2342-matt lips . ‘ Never hold out on [me]_327-jesse , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse releases [me]_2342-matt , leaving [me]_2342-matt feeling slightly dizzy and disorientated . [Someone]_186-someone knocks on the door . ‘ Go . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse nods at the door . [I]_2342-matt collect [my]_2342-matt things and leave without a word . [I]_2342-matt ’ve got a proper sulk on . [I]_2342-matt ’m on stupidly dangerous ground here , and [I]_2342-matt know it . [This man]_327-jesse has broken heart written all over [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt open the office door and find [Big John]_832-ava waiting for [me]_2342-matt . [He]_832-ava nods , taking up position beside [me]_2342-matt to escort [me]_2342-matt [upstairs]_{2469-upstairs} . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt know where [I]_2342-matt ’m going , [John]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt offer . [He]_327-jesse does n’t have to flank [me]_2342-matt all of the way . ‘ S’all good , [girl]_490-girl . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse rumbles , continuing [his]_327-jesse long strides besides [me]_2342-matt to [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} . When [we]_1299-we reach the stained glass window at the bottom of the stairs to [the third floor]_{1300-the third floor} , [I]_2342-matt glance up the wide staircase . At the top , there ’s a set of wooden doors with pretty circle symbols calved into the wood . [They]_1301-they ’re closed and quite intimidating . What ’s up there ? It could be [a function room]_{2974-a function room} . [I]_1301-they ’m_[1301-they] distracted from the imposing vastness of wood when [I]_2342-matt hear a door open . [I]_2342-matt look over the landing , seeing [a man walking out of [a guest suite]_{1303-a guest suite}]_{0-the one} doing [his]_{0-the one} flies up . [He]_{0-the one} looks up , catching [me]_2342-matt staring . [My]_2342-matt face flames as [I]_2342-matt look at [John]_832-ava , who ’s eyeing up [the guy]_{0-the one} , shaking [his]_{0-the one} head menacingly . A wave of worry washes over [the guests]_{1304-the guests} face , and [I]_2342-matt scuttle off through the archway that leads to the extension to try and escape the embarrassing situation . [John]_832-ava did not look impressed . Why [men]_2420-men think it ’s acceptable to [exit toilets]_{1306-exit toilets} and [hotel rooms]_{1307-hotel rooms} still arranging [themselves]_{1307-hotel rooms} is beyond [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt let [myself]_2342-matt into [the furthest room]_{2350-the room} . With the lack of furniture , [I]_2342-matt slide down the wall to [my]_2342-matt bum . [John]_832-ava pokes [his]_832-ava head around the door . ‘ [Ring Jesse]_327-jesse if [you]_2975-you need anything . ’_[832-ava] [he]_832-ava grunts . ‘ [I]_832-ava can go find [him]_832-ava . ’_[832-ava] ‘ No , ring [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’_[832-ava] [he]_832-ava affirms , closing the door . So , if [I]_2342-matt need [the toilet]_{440-the toilet} , have [I]_2342-matt got to ring [Jesse]_327-jesse then ? [I]_2342-matt should have stayed at [home]_281-home . Gazing around the shell of [a room]_{2350-the room} , [I]_2342-matt start nibbling at the salmon bagel , which [I]_2342-matt reluctantly admit is lovely . [I]_2342-matt try to recall [my]_2342-matt specification . What did [he]_832-ava say ? Oh , yes – sensual , stimulating and invigorating . It ’s not [my]_2342-matt normal brief , but [I]_2342-matt can work with it . [I]_2342-matt pick up the pad , slide a pencil out of the tin and begin sketching large , lavish beds and sumptuous window dressings . Losing [myself]_2342-matt in some sketching is the perfect way to divert [my]_2342-matt mind from the more troubling thoughts that are currently swamping [my]_2342-matt poor brain . A few hours later , [my]_2342-matt arse is dead and [I]_2342-matt have a rough draft of [an amazing bedroom]_{1311-an amazing bedroom} . [I]_2342-matt flick the pencil over the paper , shading and blending here and there . Okay , now that ’s sensual . [He]_832-ava said a big bed was essential , and the huge four - poster , positioned in the middle of [the room]_{2350-the room} , screams luxury and sensuality . [I]_2342-matt study the picture , blushing at [my]_2342-matt own work . [Jesus]_72-jesus , it ’s almost erotic . Where has that come from ? Maybe it ’s all the incredible sex [I]_2342-matt ’ve been having . The bed dominating [the room]_{2350-the room} is a replica of one that [I]_2342-matt spotted at [a reclamation yard]_{1312-a reclamation yard} a few months ago . With massive , chunky , wooden posts and a lattice style canopy , it ’ll look amazing with gold silk dressing it . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know what to put on the walls because [Jesse]_327-jesse did n’t elaborate further than large , wooden wall hangings – probably something resembling what [I]_2342-matt saw in [the other suite]_{1313-the other suite} when [Jesse]_327-jesse cornered [me]_2342-matt . [My]_2342-matt line of thought is interrupted when the door opens and [I]_2342-matt ’m presented with [Sarah]_54-victoria ’s pouty face . [I]_832-ava inwardly groan . [The woman]_832-ava is everywhere – everywhere [Jesse]_327-jesse is . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , what a pleasant surprise , ’ [Liar]_187-liar ! [She]_832-ava shuts the door softly behind [her]_832-ava and walks into the middle of [the room]_{2350-the room} . [My]_54-victoria unkind thoughts have [me]_54-victoria wishing [she]_832-ava would take a tumble in those ridiculous heels . [I]_54-victoria really do n’t like [this woman]_832-ava . [She]_832-ava brings out [[my]_54-victoria inner bitch]_{2976-my inner bitch} better than anyone [I]_54-victoria ’ve ever known before . ‘_{[54-victoria]} [Sarah]_54-victoria . It ’s nice to see [you]_54-victoria . ’ [I]_54-victoria clasp a lock of [my]_54-victoria hair and start fiddling with it , as [I]_54-victoria consider [her]_832-ava motives for paying [me]_54-victoria a visit . [She]_832-ava looks down at [me]_54-victoria sat on the floor . [I]_54-victoria notice [her]_832-ava pouty , red lips look super inflated today . [She]_832-ava ’s definitely had work there . [My]_54-victoria sitting position , in relation to [her]_832-ava standing position , has [me]_54-victoria feeling inferior to [her]_832-ava . [I]_54-victoria ’d get up , if [my]_54-victoria backside was n’t numb and [I]_54-victoria could be sure [I]_54-victoria would n’t crumble back down to the floor in a heap . ‘_{[54-victoria]} Working on a Sunday , ’ [she]_832-ava muses as [she]_832-ava gazes around [the empty room]_{2977-the empty room} . ‘_{[54-victoria]} Do all of [[your]_1314-you clients]_{1315-your clients} get the same special treatment [you]_1314-you offer [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’ Oh , what [a bitch]_{2978-a bitch} ! [Her]_832-ava motive is suddenly very clear . ‘_[327-jesse] No , ’ [I]_327-jesse smile , ‘_[327-jesse] Just [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’ [My]_327-jesse unkind thoughts are justified . [She]_832-ava really dislikes [me]_327-jesse , as opposed to just disliking [me]_327-jesse . [She]_832-ava could possibly even hate [me]_327-jesse . Why ? ‘_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse ’s a bit mature for [you]_1314-you , is n’t [he]_327-jesse ? ’ [She]_1316-her folds [her]_1316-her arms under [her]_1316-her ample chest , and [I]_327-jesse conclude that [she]_1316-her ’s probably had those done too . [I]_327-jesse do n’t want [her]_1316-her to know that [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] unaware of [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s age . [She]_1316-her undoubtedly knows . And the fact that [she]_1316-her does and [I]_2342-matt do n’t , really bristles [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_1316-her do n’t think so . ’_[1316-her] [I]_2342-matt retort sweetly . [I]_2342-matt really want to get up from the floor so the nasty bit of work is n’t looking down at [me]_2342-matt . What ’s it got to do with [her]_1316-her ? [Her]_1316-her pouty face displays an abundance of displeasure at [me]_2342-matt being [here]_314-here and that , strangely , has [me]_2342-matt feeling displeased about being [here]_314-here too . [I]_2342-matt should have stayed at [home]_281-home . [I]_2342-matt do n’t need this ‘ So , what is it about [my]_{1319-my jesse} [Jesse]_327-jesse that has [you]_{1319-my jesse} giving up [your]_{1319-my jesse} free time to work ? ’_{[1319-my jesse]} [[My]_2342-matt Jesse]_{1319-my jesse} ? ‘ [I]_{1319-my jesse} ’m_{[1319-my jesse]} not sure what business that is of [yours]_{1319-my jesse} . ’ ‘_{[1319-my jesse]} Maybe , it ’s [his]_{1319-my jesse} money ? ’ [She]_{1320-this horrible woman} raises [her]_{1320-this horrible woman} already stupidly arched eyebrow . [Botox]_188-botox ! ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not interested in [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s wealth . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt retaliate shortly . [I]_2342-matt ’m in love with [him]_327-jesse ! ‘_[2342-matt] Of course , [you]_2342-matt ’re not . ’_{[1320-this horrible woman]} [She]_{1320-this horrible woman} wanders over to the window , casually and cockily , before turning back to face [me]_2342-matt , [her]_{1320-this horrible woman} face as cold as [her]_{1320-this horrible woman} voice . ‘ [Be]_189-be warned , [Ava]_832-ava . [Jesse]_327-jesse is not [the sort of man [you]_2342-matt build [your]_2342-matt dreams on]_{2979-the sort of man you build your dreams on} . ’_{[1320-this horrible woman]} [I]_2342-matt stare [her]_{1320-this horrible woman} straight in the eye , trying to mimic [her]_{1320-this horrible woman} cold face and tone . It ’s not hard – it comes naturally with [this horrible woman]_{1320-this horrible woman} . ‘ Thank [you]_{1320-this horrible woman} for the warning , but [I]_{1320-this horrible woman} think [I]_{1320-this horrible woman} ’m_{[1320-this horrible woman]} grown up enough to decide who [I]_2342-matt build [my]_2342-matt dreams on . ’ [My]_{1320-this horrible woman} heart has taken a nose dive into [my]_{1320-this horrible woman} stomach . [She]_{1320-this horrible woman} scoffs mildly . It ’s in pity . It makes [me]_{1320-this horrible woman} feel crap . ‘_{[1320-this horrible woman]} [Little girl]_{1320-this horrible woman} , jump out of [your]_{1320-this horrible woman} fairy tale and open [your]_{1320-this horrible woman} e … ’ The door opens and [Jesse]_327-jesse strides in . [He]_327-jesse looks at [me]_{1320-this horrible woman} slumped on the floor and at [Sarah]_54-victoria stood at the window . ‘_{[1320-this horrible woman]} All right ? ’ [he]_327-jesse asks [Sarah]_54-victoria . [I]_{1320-this horrible woman} recoil on the inside . Why the hell is [he]_327-jesse asking [her]_{1320-this horrible woman} for ? [She]_{1320-this horrible woman} ’s fine , stood over there throwing [her]_{1320-this horrible woman} warnings out . It ’s [me]_{1320-this horrible woman} , sat here with a dead arse , [he]_327-jesse ought to be asking . [I]_{1320-this horrible woman} ’m_{[1320-this horrible woman]} even more stunned when [she]_{1320-this horrible woman} plasters on a ridiculously fake smile and walks over to [him]_1321-him – all straight backed with [her]_{1320-this horrible woman} chest thrust forward . ‘ Yes , [sweetie]_1322-sweetie . [Ava]_832-ava and [I]_{1320-this horrible woman} were just discussing [the new rooms]_{2980-the new rooms} . [She]_{1320-this horrible woman} has some fabulous ideas . ’_{[1320-this horrible woman]} [She]_{1320-this horrible woman} rubs [his]_1321-him shoulder . [I]_2342-matt want to prize [her]_{1320-this horrible woman} fake nails off of [her]_{1320-this horrible woman} fingers . [The bloody lying bitch]_1322-sweetie ! [He]_1322-sweetie ’s not going to fall for that , surely ? The satisfied smile [he]_1322-sweetie gives [her]_{1320-this horrible woman} , before turning it on [me]_2342-matt , tells [me]_2342-matt [he]_1322-sweetie has . The blind twat ! ‘ [She]_1322-sweetie ’s good . ’_{[1322-sweetie]} [he]_1322-sweetie says proudly . [He]_1322-sweetie ’s making [me]_2342-matt feel like [a fucking kid]_{1323-a fucking kid} . ‘ Yes , very talented . ’_{[54-victoria]} [Sarah]_54-victoria purrs , smiling slyly at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_54-victoria ’ll leave [you]_54-victoria to it . ’_{[54-victoria]} [She]_54-victoria leans up and kisses [his]_1322-sweetie cheek . [I]_2342-matt burn with rage . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , it was lovely to see [you]_54-victoria again . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt muster up the decency to smile at the beast . ‘ And [you]_54-victoria , [Sarah]_54-victoria . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hope [she]_54-victoria detects the insincerity in [my]_2342-matt tone ; [I]_2342-matt ’ve never been more insincere in [my]_2342-matt life . [She]_54-victoria leaves [the room]_{2350-the room} and [me]_2342-matt alone with [Jesse]_327-jesse . Why did [I]_2342-matt come here , and what role does [that woman]_54-victoria play in [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s life ? [She]_54-victoria ’s been [here]_314-here every time [I]_2342-matt have . And [she]_54-victoria was at the Lusso launch too . Will [I]_2342-matt ever escape the wily cow ? [She]_54-victoria wants [me]_2342-matt gone , and there is only one reason [she]_54-victoria would want that … [she]_54-victoria wants [Jesse]_327-jesse . The thought of [him]_327-jesse being with [anyone else]_587-someone makes [my]_2342-matt heart constrict in pain , makes [me]_2342-matt want to hurt [someone]_587-someone . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never been [the jealous type]_{1327-the jealous type} , nor clingy or needy . But [I]_2342-matt can feel all of these new feelings racing to the surface , swamping [my]_2342-matt entire being . [I]_2342-matt ’m not comfortable with it . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] in big trouble here – big , fucking , shitting trouble . [She]_54-victoria said [Jesse]_327-jesse is n’t [the sort of man [you]_1329-you build [your]_1329-you dreams on]_{2979-the sort of man you build your dreams on} . [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt already know that . ‘ Let ’s have a look then , [lady]_54-victoria . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse slides down the wall next to [me]_2342-matt , reaching over for the pad . ‘ Wow ! [I]_327-jesse love that bed . ’_[327-jesse] ‘ So do [I.]_2342-matt ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt admit sullenly . The enthusiasm for [my]_2342-matt idea has been sucked right out of [me]_2342-matt . ‘ What ’s all this ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse points to the canopy on the bed . ‘ It ’s a lattice design . All the wooden beams overlap to form a grind like affect . ’_[327-jesse] ‘ So [you]_1329-you can hang things from [them]_2981-them ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse looks at [me]_2342-matt inquisitively . ‘ Yes , like material , or lights , maybe . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shrug . [His]_327-jesse mouth forms an O as [he]_327-jesse grasps [my]_2342-matt concept . ‘ What colours did [you]_1329-you have in mind ? ’_[327-jesse] ‘ Black and gold , ’_[327-jesse] ‘ [I]_327-jesse love it , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse brushes [his]_327-jesse hand over the drawing . ‘ When can [we]_2982-we start ? ’_[327-jesse] Huh ? ‘ It ’s only a draft . [I]_2342-matt have to do some mood boards , scale drawings , lighting plans , that sort of thing . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know if [I]_2342-matt ’ll be doing any of those things . [I]_2342-matt ’ve fallen into a deep state of depression after being ejected from [[his]_327-jesse office]_{279-the office} and warned off by [Sarah]_54-victoria . [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to seriously re - think what [I]_2342-matt ’m doing here . ‘_[2342-matt] Will [you]_1331-you take [me]_2342-matt [home]_281-home ? ’ [His]_327-jesse head shoots up , [his]_327-jesse green eyes laced with concern . ‘_[1331-you] Are [you]_1331-you okay ? ’ [I]_2342-matt push [my]_2342-matt numb backside up from the floor , using every ounce of strength [I]_2342-matt have to plaster a smile – as fake as [Sarah]_54-victoria ’s – onto [my]_2342-matt face . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m fine . [I]_2342-matt ’ve got some work stuff to sort out for tomorrow . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smooth [my]_2342-matt dress down . ‘ [I]_2342-matt thought [you]_1331-you did n’t work on weekends ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ It ’s only work - ish . ’_[1333-he] ‘ -ish ? ’_[1333-he] [He]_1333-he looks up at [me]_2342-matt with a small smile . [I]_2342-matt could cry . ‘ Yes , [ish]_1333-he , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shrug . Take [me]_2342-matt [home]_281-home so [I]_2342-matt can think without [you]_1331-you there to distract [me]_2342-matt with [your]_1331-you beautiful face and body . ‘ Okay , ’_[1333-he] [He]_1333-he gets up from the floor with ease and hands [me]_2342-matt back the pad . ‘ Are [you]_1331-you sure [you]_1331-you ’re_[1333-he] okay ? ’ [he]_1333-he presses . [I]_2342-matt maintain [my]_2342-matt fake smile . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m fine , why would n’t [I]_2342-matt be ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt fight [my]_2342-matt hand back to [my]_2342-matt side when it reaches up to grab a piece of hair . [He]_1333-he eyes [me]_2342-matt suspiciously . ‘ Come on then . ’_[1333-he] [He]_1333-he takes [my]_2342-matt bag and fills [my]_2342-matt empty hand with [his]_1333-he . ‘ The tray , ’_[1333-he] ‘ [Pete]_185-pete will get it . ’_[1333-he] [He]_1333-he dismisses [my]_2342-matt concern and leads [me]_2342-matt out of [the room]_{2350-the room} , back [downstairs]_{2323-downstairs} . [I]_2342-matt want to release [my]_2342-matt hand from [his]_1333-he , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to give [him]_1333-he any reason to suspect [I]_2342-matt ’m anything other than fine . It ’s hard , especially when [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] the furthest away from fine that [I]_2342-matt could possibly be . The more [I]_2342-matt touch [him]_1333-he , the more attached to [him]_1333-he [I]_2342-matt ’m becoming . As [we]_2983-we land in [the entrance hall]_{356-the entrance hall} , [Jesse]_327-jesse glances around nervously . ‘_[2342-matt] Wait here , [I]_2342-matt need to get [my]_2342-matt phone and keys . Actually , go and get in [the car]_{548-the car} . It ’s open . ’ [I]_1322-sweetie frown as [he]_1333-he ushers [me]_1322-sweetie out of the door before [he]_1333-he jogs off towards [[his]_1333-he office]_{279-the office} . [I]_1322-sweetie take [myself]_1322-sweetie down the steps of [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , across [the gravel]_{2987-the gravel} to [the DBS]_{43-the dbs} . Before [I]_1322-sweetie make it to [the car]_{548-the car} , [I]_1322-sweetie hear the laughing of a certain acid tongued , pouty faced beast . [I]_1322-sweetie tense from top to toe and swivel on [the gravel]_{2987-the gravel} , only to find [her]_1322-sweetie stood at the top of the steps with [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘_{[1322-sweetie]} Okay , [sweetie]_1322-sweetie . See [you]_1322-sweetie later . ’ [She]_1322-sweetie reaches up and kisses [his]_1333-he cheek . [I]_1322-sweetie heave . ‘_{[1322-sweetie]} Hope to see [you]_1322-sweetie again , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [she]_1322-sweetie calls . [Her]_1322-sweetie icy stare penetrates [me]_832-ava as [Jesse]_327-jesse approaches and gives [me]_832-ava [my]_832-ava bag before taking [my]_832-ava hand again . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] put in [the car]_{2476-his car} , and as soon as the engine is started , [my]_2342-matt ears are invaded with [Radiohead]_{190-radiohead} ’s Creep . [I]_2342-matt smile to [myself]_2342-matt . Yes , why [I]_2342-matt ’m here , is a damn good question . Chapter 22 [I]_2342-matt leave [Jesse]_327-jesse with a chaste kiss and a look of trepidation all over [his]_327-jesse stunning face . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll call [you]_1322-sweetie . ’ [I]_2342-matt say casually , jumping out of [[his]_327-jesse car]_{2476-his car} . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t get away quick enough . [I]_2342-matt shut the car door and hurry up the path to [[Kate]_2557-kate ’s house]_{2988-kate ’s house} . [I]_2342-matt do n’t look back , shutting the door swiftly behind [me]_2342-matt and sagging against it . ‘_[2342-matt] Hey ! ’ [Kate]_2557-kate appears at the top of [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} with a towel wrapped around [her]_2557-kate . ‘_{[1322-sweetie]} [You]_1322-sweetie okay ? ’ [I]_1322-sweetie ca n’t plaster the fake smile on anymore . ‘_{[1322-sweetie]} No , ’ [I]_1322-sweetie admit . [I]_1322-sweetie ’m_{[1322-sweetie]} way past being okay . [She]_1322-sweetie looks at [me]_2342-matt with a mixture of confusion and sympathy . ‘ Tea ? ’_{[1322-sweetie]} [I]_2342-matt nod , peeling [myself]_2342-matt from the door . ‘ Please do n’t be too nice to [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt warn . Tears are threatening , and [I]_2342-matt ’m willing [myself]_1914-sam to keep [them]_{272-the stairs} under control . [I]_1914-sam knew this would happen . Not this soon , but this nasty aching heart business was inevitable . [She]_1322-sweetie smiles , knowingly , and jerks [her]_1322-sweetie head . [I]_1914-sam drag [myself]_1914-sam up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , finding [her]_1322-sweetie in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} making tea . [I]_1914-sam collapse in one of the mismatching chairs . ‘_[1914-sam] Has [Sam]_1914-sam gone ? ’ [She]_1322-sweetie spoons three sugars into [her]_1322-sweetie mug , and even though [her]_1322-sweetie back is turned away from [me]_1914-sam , [I]_1914-sam know [she]_1322-sweetie ’s grinning . ‘_[1914-sam] Yeah . ’ [she]_1322-sweetie says , way too casually . ‘_[1914-sam] Good night ? ’ [She]_1322-sweetie turns , narrowing [her]_1322-sweetie bright blues on [me]_2342-matt before [she]_1322-sweetie grins . ‘_[2342-matt] [The man]_2342-matt ’s an animal ! ’ [I]_2342-matt scoff at [her]_1322-sweetie description of [Sam]_1914-sam . There ’s [a certain someone else [I]_2342-matt]_{2992-a certain someone else i} could nail that descriptor to . ‘_[2342-matt] Good ? ’ [She]_1322-sweetie pours boiling water into the mugs and adds milk . ‘_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt ’s all right . ’ [She]_1322-sweetie shrugs . ‘_[2342-matt] That ’s enough about [me]_2342-matt . Why did [you]_2342-matt leave this morning looking like [you]_2342-matt ’d had a similar night to [me]_2342-matt , and return a few hours later looking like [you]_2342-matt ’ve been slapped ? ’ [She]_1341-she takes a seat , handing [me]_2342-matt [my]_2342-matt tea . [I]_2342-matt sigh . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not going to see [him]_2342-matt again . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Why ? ’_[1341-she] [she]_1341-she cries . [I]_2342-matt look up at a shocked , pale face . Why is [she]_1341-she so stunned by [my]_2342-matt declaration ? ‘ Because [Kate]_2557-kate , without a shadow of a doubt , [I]_1341-she ’m_[1341-she] going to get stung really nastily . [He]_2342-matt ’s hazardous . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] How do [you]_2342-matt know that ? ’ [she]_1341-she asks incredulously . Well , that ’s easy . ‘_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt ’s [a mature business man]_2342-matt , way beyond rich and confident . [I]_2342-matt ’m just a little play thing to [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt ’ll get bored , toss [me]_2342-matt away and move onto [someone else]_{2416-someone else} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt huff sarcastically . ‘ Trust [me]_2342-matt … there will not be a shortage of [women]_348-women throwing [themselves]_348-women at [his]_2342-matt feet . [I]_2342-matt ’ve seen the reaction [he]_2342-matt draws , [I]_2342-matt ’ve experienced it . [He]_2342-matt ’s incredibly fierce in [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} – and bloody good with it – and that tells [me]_2342-matt [he]_2342-matt ’s not short of sexual conquests . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt draw breath , while [Kate]_2557-kate looks at [me]_2342-matt agape . ‘ [He]_2342-matt ’s [a woman magnet]_{2996-a woman magnet} , possibly [a womaniser]_{2997-a womaniser} . [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] already getting a reaction from [Sarah]_54-victoria . ’ [I]_54-victoria slump back in [my]_54-victoria chair , grabbing [my]_54-victoria mug of tea . ‘_{[54-victoria]} Who ’s [Sarah]_54-victoria ? ’ ‘_{[395-a woman]} [A friend]_{395-a woman} , the one who [I]_2342-matt thought was [the girlfriend]_{395-a woman} . [She]_{395-a woman} does n’t like [me]_2342-matt , and [she]_{395-a woman} ’s made it perfectly clear . ’ ‘_{[54-victoria]} [You]_54-victoria ’re not seriously jumping [ship]_2998-ship because of a few bitchy words from [a woman]_{395-a woman} scorned ? Tell [her]_{395-a woman} to fuck off ! ’_{[54-victoria]} ‘ No , it ’s not just that , although [I]_{395-a woman} really do n’t need claws digging in [my]_{395-a woman} back . ’_{[395-a woman]} [She]_{395-a woman} rolls [her]_{395-a woman} eyes . ‘ [[My]_{395-a woman} friend]_{395-a woman} , [you]_{395-a woman} ’re_{[395-a woman]} blind ! ’ ‘_[2342-matt] No [I]_2342-matt ’m not . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sensible , ’ [I]_2342-matt defend [myself]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] And [you]_54-victoria ’re bias . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt spit . [She]_{395-a woman} ’s made it perfectly obvious [she]_{395-a woman} likes [Jesse]_327-jesse , but why oh why , [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . ‘ Why do [you]_54-victoria like [him]_327-jesse so much ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_{395-a woman} do n’t know . ’_{[395-a woman]} [She]_{395-a woman} shrugs . ‘ There ’s just something about [him]_327-jesse , is n’t there ? ’_{[395-a woman]} ‘ Yes , and it ’s dangerous . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No , it ’s the way [he]_327-jesse looks at [you]_54-victoria , like [you]_54-victoria ’re_[327-jesse] the centre of [his]_327-jesse universe of something . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t be stupid ! [I]_2342-matt ’m the centre of [his]_327-jesse sex life . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt correct [her]_{395-a woman} , suddenly considering the fact that [I]_2342-matt could , quite possibly , be [one of many women [he]_327-jesse ’s showing a good time to]_{1343-one of many women he ’s showing a good time to} . The thought is painful and another reason to walk away while [I]_2342-matt ’m still partly intact . Oh , who am [I]_2342-matt kidding ? [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] already in pieces , but it ’s only going to get worse the longer [I]_2342-matt let this go on . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [you]_832-ava ’re_{[1344-the master of denial]} [the master of denial]_{1344-the master of denial} . ’ [she]_{395-a woman} scorns [me]_2342-matt lightly . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not in denial . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , [you]_832-ava are , ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate states firmly . ‘ [You]_832-ava ’ve fallen in love with [him]_{1344-the master of denial} . It ’s easy to see why . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ [I]_{1344-the master of denial} ’m_{[1344-the master of denial]} not in denial . ’ [I]_{1344-the master of denial} affirm , because [I]_{1344-the master of denial} do n’t know what else to say to that . Is it that obvious ? [I]_{1344-the master of denial} ’m_{[1344-the master of denial]} denying it all the way . It should make this painful process easier to bear . ‘ [I]_{1344-the master of denial} ’m_{[1344-the master of denial]} going to lie down . ’ [I]_{1344-the master of denial} push [my]_{1344-the master of denial} chair away from behind [my]_{1344-the master of denial} legs and it scraps along the wooden floor . [I]_{1344-the master of denial} wince at the piercing sound . The hangover ’s back with a vengeance . ‘_{[1344-the master of denial]} Okay . ’ [Kate]_2557-kate sighs . [I]_{1344-the master of denial} leave [her]_2557-kate in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} to retreat to the sanctuary of [[my]_{1344-the master of denial} room]_{2682-my room} , flopping on the bed and pulling a pillow over [my]_{1344-the master of denial} head . [I]_{1344-the master of denial} hate to admit it , but [that pouty bitch]_{3002-that pouty bitch} is right . [I]_{1344-the master of denial} ca n’t build [my]_{1344-the master of denial} dreams of [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse . The thought is like a knife through [my]_{1344-the master of denial} splitting heart . * * * [I]_{1344-the master of denial} walk into [the office]_{279-the office} for a fresh week , feeling anything but fresh . [I]_{1344-the master of denial} did n’t sleep a wink , and [I]_{1344-the master of denial} ’m_{[1344-the master of denial]} under no illusion as to why that is . ‘ Morning , flower , ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse calls from [[his]_327-jesse office]_{279-the office} . [He]_327-jesse sounds better . ‘ Hi . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt try to sound chirpy but fail miserably . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t even muster up the strength to feign cheerfulness . [I]_2342-matt throw [my]_2342-matt bag by [my]_2342-matt desk and sit down to fire up [my]_2342-matt computer . Within five seconds , [my]_2342-matt desk is screaming in protest as [Patrick]_327-jesse takes [his]_327-jesse usual pew . [He]_327-jesse looks much better as well . ‘ What ’s the state of play with [Van Der Haus]_118-mikael ? ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse asks . This will be a project that [Patrick]_327-jesse will keep a keen interest in . [I]_2342-matt reach under [my]_2342-matt desk to retrieve the small box of material samples that [I]_2342-matt abandoned on Friday . ‘ These came on Friday , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say , laying some on [my]_2342-matt desk . ‘ [He]_327-jesse ’s emailed [me]_327-jesse the specifics and sent the drawings over . ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse flicks through the pile of swatches – all in neutral tones of beige and creams , some patterned , some not . ‘ [They]_1346-they ’re_[1346-they] a bit boring , are n’t [they]_1346-they ? ’ [he]_327-jesse grunts disapprovingly . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t think so , ’ [I]_2342-matt pull out a lovely , thick striped piece . ‘_[2342-matt] Look . ’ [He]_327-jesse turns [his]_327-jesse nose up . ‘_[2342-matt] Not [my]_2342-matt cup of tea . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] It does n’t have to be . ’ [I]_2342-matt remind [him]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse ’s not going to be buying [a posh apartment in [The Life Building]_{2829-the life building}]_{2829-the life building} . ‘_[2342-matt] [Mr Van Der Haus]_{117-mr van der haus} is back from [Denmark]_37-denmark today . [He]_{117-mr van der haus} said [he]_{117-mr van der haus} would call about a site visit . [I]_2342-matt ’m going to crack on , if [you]_3004-you do n’t mind . ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse stands , and [I]_2342-matt perform [my]_2342-matt usual wince as the desk creaks . ‘ Yes , [you]_2342-matt carry on , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse eyes [me]_2342-matt suspiciously . ‘ Tell [me]_327-jesse to mind [my]_327-jesse own if [you]_2342-matt like , but [you]_2342-matt do n’t seem [yourself]_2342-matt . Is there anything the matter ? ’_[327-jesse] ‘ No , [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] fine , honestly . ’ [I]_327-jesse lie . ‘_[327-jesse] Are [you]_2342-matt sure ? ’ No ! ‘_[327-jesse] Yes , [Patrick]_327-jesse . ’ [I]_327-jesse try , and fail terribly , to sound sure . [My]_327-jesse phone starts jumping around [my]_327-jesse desk and [Sam Sparro]_1914-sam ’s Black and [Gold]_192-gold blares around [the office]_{279-the office} . [I]_327-jesse frown , picking it up to see [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s name flashing on the screen . [He]_327-jesse ’s been messing with [my]_327-jesse phone again . [My]_327-jesse heart flutters and not in a good way . [I]_327-jesse ca n’t speak to [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt ’ll let [you]_2342-matt get that , flower . Keep that pretty little chin up . That ’s an order ! ’ [Patrick]_327-jesse leaves [me]_327-jesse as [I]_327-jesse silence [my]_327-jesse phone , but no sooner has it stopped , it starts replaying again . [I]_327-jesse push the button to shut it up , placing it on [my]_327-jesse desk and throwing [myself]_327-jesse into some work . [I]_327-jesse find the email from [Mikael]_118-mikael . It ’s brief , but there ’s enough information for [me]_327-jesse to start compiling [my]_327-jesse designs . Fifteen minutes later , [my]_327-jesse phone is still ringing and [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] getting sick of the track and sick of reaching over to shut the damn thing up . [I]_2342-matt was delusional if [I]_2342-matt thought [he]_1347-he was going to make this simple for [me]_2342-matt . [My]_2342-matt text alert starts chiming , but instead of deleting it – which would be the sensible option – [I]_2342-matt open it . ANSWER [YOUR]_1348-your PHONE ! Oh , here [we]_1349-we go . [Sam Sparro]_1914-sam starts playing up again , and [I]_2342-matt silence [my]_2342-matt phone … again . [I]_2342-matt ’m never going to get any work done at this rate . Then there ’s another text . [Ava]_832-ava , speak to [me]_2342-matt , please . What have [I]_2342-matt done ? [I]_2342-matt pop it in [my]_2342-matt top draw and try to forget about [him]_1347-he . What has [he]_1347-he done ? Nothing really , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sure , if [I]_2342-matt give [him]_1347-he the opportunity , [he]_1347-he will . Or will [he]_1347-he ? Oh , [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . But instinct tells [me]_2342-matt to walk away . ‘ [Sal]_54-victoria , if [anyone]_2475-anyone calls [the office]_{279-the office} [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] on [my]_2342-matt mobile , okay ? ’ [I]_832-ava know that will probably be [his]_1347-he next move . ‘_[832-ava] Okay , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [I]_832-ava start cracking on with [my]_832-ava mood boards and drawings for [Mikael]_118-mikael . [I]_832-ava ’ve not even seen [the apartments]_{3008-the apartments} yet , but [I]_832-ava have a good idea of where [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] going with this and , surprisingly to [me]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt ’m quite excited . [I]_2342-matt pop to the deli at lunch time to grab a sandwich , returning to [the office]_{279-the office} to eat it . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] informed by [Sally]_54-victoria that [a man called while [I]_2342-matt was out]_{1350-a man called while i was out} , but [he]_{1350-a man called while i was out} did n’t leave a message . Of course , [I]_2342-matt know who it is , but [I]_2342-matt ’m on a roll and [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to interrupt [my]_2342-matt momentum , so [I]_2342-matt disregard [his]_{1350-a man called while i was out} persistence . With [Victoria]_54-victoria and [Tom]_60-tom out of [the office]_{279-the office} all day on various appointments , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not being side tracked with drama from [Victoria]_54-victoria and seedy stories from [Tom]_60-tom . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t let [Jesse]_327-jesse distract [me]_2342-matt either . [I]_2342-matt persistently ignore [my]_2342-matt phone , except when [Mikael]_118-mikael calls to arrange a meeting for tomorrow . [He]_{1350-a man called while i was out} ’s stuck in [Denmark]_37-denmark for the rest of the week , so [I]_2342-matt ’m meeting [his]_{1350-a man called while i was out} PA at [The Life Building]_{2829-the life building} at nine in the morning . As six o’clock hits , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] satisfied with [my]_2342-matt productive day and glad [I]_2342-matt knuckled down . The day has flown by . Crawling through the front door , [I]_2342-matt find [an empty house]_{1351-an empty house} . [I]_2342-matt ’m absolutely shattered . It ’s a combination of the after effects from [my]_2342-matt Saturday night blow out and the Jesse saga . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] rubbish at hangovers . [They]_1352-they last longer than the average day for [me]_2342-matt . [My]_2342-matt Monday night cheeky glass of wine will not be happening tonight . [I]_2342-matt take [myself]_2342-matt to [[my]_2342-matt room]_{2682-my room} and strip down to shower , gazing up at the ceiling for strength when [my]_2342-matt phone starts ringing again . [This man]_327-jesse is not going to make this easy on [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt know it . But then [I]_2342-matt realise … it ’s not [Black]_193-black and Gold . [I]_2342-matt ’ve endured the damn track all bloody day , knocking [my]_2342-matt phone to silent each time . [I]_2342-matt ’m pleasantly surprised when [I]_2342-matt see “ Mum Mobile ” flash up . [I]_2342-matt listen to [her]_3012-her for twenty minutes as [she]_3012-her gives [me]_2342-matt the full itinerary of [Dan]_93-dan ’s journey from [Australia]_14-australia to [Heathrow]_17-heathrow . Bottom line … he’ll arrive next Monday morning , spend the week in [Newquay]_19-newquay and return to [London]_5-london on the Saturday . After checking all is well in [Newquay]_19-newquay , [I]_2342-matt go to take a shower . [Sam Sparro]_1914-sam starts shrieking about Black and Gold again , and [I]_2342-matt turn [my]_2342-matt phone to silent … again . If [I]_2342-matt ca n’t hear it ring , then [I]_2342-matt wo n’t be tempted to answer the thing . After [my]_2342-matt shower , [I]_2342-matt fall into bed and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] asleep as soon as [my]_2342-matt head hits the pillow . ‘ Wake up sleepy head ! ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate ’s shrill voice stabs at [my]_2342-matt eardrums . [I]_2342-matt roll over and look at [my]_2342-matt clock . In a blind panic , [I]_2342-matt clamber out of bed and try to gain a bit of composure . It ’s eight O fucking clock ! [I]_2342-matt ’ve slept for thirteen hours . Christ , [I]_2342-matt must have needed that . ‘ Why did n’t [you]_{44-mikael ’s pa} wake [me]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt yell as [I]_2342-matt hot foot it across the landing to the shower . [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to be at [The Life Building]_{2829-the life building} in an hour to meet [Mikael ’s PA]_{44-mikael ’s pa} . ‘ [I]_2557-kate was asleep [myself]_2557-kate . ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate replies , all happy and fresh . Why is [she]_2557-kate so bright eyed and bushy tailed ? [I]_2342-matt soon find out when [I]_2342-matt collide with [Sam]_1914-sam ’s half naked body coming out of [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} . ‘ [Easy chick]_{3013-easy chick} ! ’_[1914-sam] [he]_1914-sam laughs , steadying [me]_2342-matt with [his]_1914-sam hands . [I]_2342-matt rip [my]_2342-matt eyes away from [his]_1914-sam fine physic . ‘ Sorry ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blurt , highly embarrassed . Does [the man]_1914-sam always wander around [[women]_348-women ’s apartments semi clothed]_{1358-women ’s apartments semi clothed} ? [His]_1914-sam infectious grin reveals [his]_1914-sam cute dimple as [he]_1914-sam steps to the side and bows . ‘ It ’s all [yours]_3014-yours . ’_[1914-sam] [I]_2342-matt dart in and slam the door to hide [my]_2342-matt red face , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t have time to dwell on [my]_2342-matt embarrassment . [I]_2342-matt jump in the shower and wash [my]_2342-matt damp hair , peg it across the landing in [my]_2342-matt towel to the safety of [[my]_2342-matt room]_{2682-my room} and fly around in a frenzy getting ready . It ’s now that [I]_2342-matt ’m glad [I]_2342-matt had such a good sort out , finding everything [I]_2342-matt need at first look . [I]_2342-matt throw on [my]_2342-matt blush dress , nude heels and rough dry [my]_2342-matt hair before piling it up . A quick sweep of powder , blusher and mascara , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] all set . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never got ready so quickly . [I]_2342-matt take [my]_2342-matt phone off charge and clear the forty two missed calls from [Jesse]_327-jesse before throwing it in [my]_2342-matt bag . Flying into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , [I]_2342-matt find [Sam]_1914-sam and [Kate]_2557-kate sat at the table . Has [no one else]_{1181-no one else} got work today ? [Sam]_1914-sam looks up from [his]_1914-sam bowl of cornflakes and grins . ‘ Seen [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’_[1914-sam] [he]_1914-sam asks . [I]_2342-matt halt , mid - frenzy , and look at [him]_1914-sam . [He]_1914-sam ’s still grinning at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ No , why are [you]_2342-matt asking [me]_1914-sam ? ’_[1914-sam] ‘ Have [you]_2342-matt been in [your]_2342-matt pit all night ? ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate asks , completely confused . ‘ Yes , [I]_2557-kate got in from work about six thirty and collapsed into bed . And [you]_2342-matt ca n’t call it a pit anymore . ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt correct [her]_2557-kate proudly . ‘ Why ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt watch as [Kate]_2557-kate looks at [Sam]_1914-sam , and [Sam]_1914-sam looks at [Kate]_2557-kate , then [they]_1362-they both look at [me]_2342-matt . [They]_1362-they both look confused and slightly worried . ‘ [You]_2557-kate ’ve not seen or spoken to [him]_1914-sam ? ’_[1362-they] [Sam]_1914-sam asks , [his]_1914-sam spoon hovering in mid - air on its way to [his]_1914-sam mouth . ‘ No ! ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt tone is impatient . What ’s the matter with [them]_1362-they ? [I]_2342-matt do n’t plan on seeing or speaking to [him]_1914-sam ever again . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not stitched to [his]_1914-sam hip . ’ [I]_1914-sam spit harshly . ‘_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam rang [me]_2342-matt five times last night , looking for [you]_2342-matt , ’ [Kate]_2557-kate explains . ‘_[1914-sam] [Me]_2342-matt ten ! ’ [Sam]_1914-sam interrupts . [Kate]_2557-kate looks truly concerned . ‘_[1363-i] [We]_1363-i got in about eight and assumed [you]_2342-matt were still at work . [He]_1914-sam was frantic , [Ava]_832-ava . [We]_1363-i tried calling [you]_2342-matt . ’ Oh , [I]_1363-i ’ve not got time for this . What does [he]_1914-sam think ’s happened to [me]_1363-i ? [The man]_1914-sam is neurotic , and [I]_1363-i ’m_[1363-i] certainly not [his]_1914-sam concern . ‘ [My]_1363-i phone was on silent . Anyway , as [you]_2342-matt can see , [I]_1363-i ’m_[1363-i] alive and well so if [he]_1914-sam rings again [you]_2342-matt can tell [him]_1914-sam so . ’ [I]_2342-matt huff shortly . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m going , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] late . ’ [I]_2342-matt turn to leave [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . ‘_[2342-matt] When [he]_1914-sam stopped calling , [I]_2342-matt assumed [you]_2342-matt were with [him]_1914-sam . ’ [Kate]_2557-kate calls to [my]_2342-matt back as [I]_2342-matt leave . ‘_[2342-matt] Well , [I]_2342-matt was n’t . ’ [I]_2342-matt shout on [my]_2342-matt way down [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} . [I]_2342-matt arrive at The Life Building bang of time , in a bit of a fluster , to meet [a petite , blonde lady in [the lobby]_{3017-the lobby}]_832-ava . [She]_832-ava ’s middle aged and very pixie looking , with sharp features and cropped hair . [Her]_832-ava plain black business suit does nothing for [her]_832-ava pale complexion . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt must be [Miss O’Shea]_832-ava , ’ [She]_832-ava holds [her]_832-ava pasty hand out to [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m [Ingrid]_194-ingrid . [Mikael]_118-mikael advised [you]_194-ingrid that [I]_832-ava would be here , yes ? ’_[832-ava] [Her]_832-ava Danish accent is very strong . ‘ [Ingrid]_194-ingrid , call [me]_832-ava [Ava]_832-ava , please . ’_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt take [her]_832-ava hand , shaking it lightly . [She]_832-ava looks so fragile . [She]_832-ava smiles and nods . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , of course , ’_[832-ava] ‘ [Mikael]_118-mikael called [me]_832-ava yesterday to tell [me]_832-ava [he]_118-mikael ’s held up in [Denmark]_37-denmark . ’_[832-ava] ‘ Yes , [he]_118-mikael is . [I]_832-ava ’ll give [you]_832-ava the tour . Works are not quite finished so [you]_832-ava ’ll need to put these on . ’_[832-ava] [She]_832-ava hands [me]_2342-matt a yellow hard hat and hi - visibility vest . [I]_2342-matt slip on the safety kit , while considering what [I]_2342-matt must look like in [[my]_2342-matt lady]_{2921-my lady} - like , blush dress and this get up . [I]_2342-matt panic for a moment , worried that [she]_{2921-my lady} might make [me]_2342-matt put on some steel toe cap boots , but [she]_{2921-my lady} presses the button for [the elevator]_{780-the elevator} and [my]_2342-matt worries disappear . ‘ [We]_1366-we ’ll start in [the penthouse]_{780-the elevator} . It ’s very similar to the layout of [Lusso]_66-lusso . ’_{[2921-my lady]} [The elevator]_{780-the elevator} arrives and [we]_1366-we step inside . ‘ [You]_1367-you ’re_{[2921-my lady]} familiar with [Lusso]_66-lusso , of course . ’ [She]_{2921-my lady} smiles , revealing a mouth full of straight teeth . [I]_{2921-my lady} like [her]_{2921-my lady} . ‘_{[2921-my lady]} Yes , [I]_2342-matt ’m familiar with [Lusso]_66-lusso . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt return [her]_66-lusso friendly smile . More familiar than [you]_1367-you know ! [I]_2342-matt snap a lid on [my]_2342-matt drifting thoughts immediately . [I]_2342-matt must not think about [him]_1368-him . [I]_2342-matt must not think about [him]_1368-him . [I]_2342-matt repeat the mantra all the way to [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} , while [Ingrid]_194-ingrid explains the minor differences between [Lusso]_66-lusso and [The Life Building]_{2829-the life building} . There are not many . [The elevator]_{2332-the penthouse} opens straight into [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} ; this is one of the differences . [Lusso]_66-lusso has [a Penthouse foyer]_{1371-a penthouse foyer} . [The underground parking]_{1372-the underground parking} is the other . ‘ Here [we]_3018-we are . After [you]_1373-you , [Ava]_832-ava , ’_[194-ingrid] [I]_2342-matt take [her]_194-ingrid direction , walking into a vastness [I]_2342-matt ’m familiar with . The size of [this Penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} must be almost exact to [Lusso]_66-lusso . It looks bigger at the moment , standing an empty shell , but [I]_2342-matt recall [Lusso]_66-lusso feeling the same . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_1373-you can see [we]_1374-we used oak here . All of the windows and doors are bespoke and made using sustainable wood . [I]_2342-matt ’m sure [Mikael]_118-mikael has advised [you]_1373-you of this part of the specification in the email [he]_118-mikael sent [you]_1373-you . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt glance at [her]_194-ingrid . [She]_194-ingrid must catch [my]_2342-matt blank expression because [she]_194-ingrid laughs , shaking [her]_194-ingrid head . ‘ [He]_118-mikael did n’t mention it in [his]_118-mikael email ? ’_[194-ingrid] ‘ No , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt reply , praying that [I]_2342-matt read it properly , and in full . ‘ [You]_1373-you ’ll have to forgive [him]_1375-him . [He]_1375-him ’s slightly sidetracked with [his]_1375-him divorce . ’_[2342-matt] Divorce ? Oh , is that what ’s held [him]_1375-him up in [Denmark]_37-denmark ? [I]_2342-matt think it slightly inappropriate that [she]_194-ingrid ’s told [me]_2342-matt such a private part of [Mikael]_118-mikael ’s personal life . [Everyone]_282-everyone is being so open and honest these days . Or am [I]_2342-matt just being closed and guarded ? ‘ Consider [me]_2342-matt advised . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile . Over the next few hours , [Ingrid]_194-ingrid walks [me]_2342-matt through [the entire building]_{2829-the life building} . [I]_2342-matt take photographs of [the spaces]_{1377-the spaces} , making notes en - route . [The Life Building]_{2829-the life building} houses the same luxuries [Lusso]_66-lusso offers to [[its]_{2829-the life building} residents]_{1378-its residents} – [a luxury health club]_{1379-a luxury health club} , a twenty four hour concierge and the latest security systems . The list goes on . [Mikael]_118-mikael and [[his]_118-mikael partner]_{1380-his partner} certainly know how to deliver on modern , luxury living . The views over [Holland Park]_{24-holland park} and [the city]_{2326-the city} are incredible . [We]_1382-we find [ourselves]_1382-we back in [the main foyer]_{1383-the main foyer} . ‘ Thank [you]_832-ava for the tour , [Ingrid]_194-ingrid . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt remove [my]_2342-matt fetching hat and vest . ‘ [You]_832-ava ’re_[832-ava] welcome , [Ava]_832-ava . Do [you]_832-ava have everything [you]_832-ava need ? ’ ‘_[832-ava] Yes , [I]_2342-matt ’ll wait to hear from [Mikael]_118-mikael . ’ ‘_[118-mikael] [He]_118-mikael said [he]_118-mikael would call [you]_832-ava on Monday . ’ [she]_832-ava says as [she]_832-ava shakes [my]_118-mikael hand . [We]_1382-we say [our]_1382-we goodbyes , and [I]_118-mikael leave [Ingrid]_194-ingrid and [The Life Building]_{279-the office} , heading back to [the office]_{279-the office} . [I]_118-mikael call [[my]_118-mikael doctors]_{3020-my doctors} surgery on [my]_118-mikael way ; [I]_118-mikael need to replace [my]_118-mikael pills . Where [they]_{3020-my doctors} have gone is a bloody mystery . [I]_118-mikael get an appointment for four o’clock today , which is a relief . Not that [I]_118-mikael plan on having much sex anytime soon . [I]_118-mikael ’ve had enough lately to see [me]_118-mikael through for a while . ‘_[118-mikael] Afternoon , ’ [I]_195-oppsie sing to [Tom]_60-tom and [Victoria]_54-victoria as [I]_195-oppsie walk into [the office]_{279-the office} . [Tom]_60-tom frowns and glances at the clock . ‘_[195-oppsie] [Oppsie]_195-oppsie ! [I]_2342-matt ’m late for [Mrs Baines]_{64-mrs baines} . [She]_{64-mrs baines} ’ll be having kittens ! ’_[195-oppsie] [He]_195-oppsie jumps up from [his]_195-oppsie desk , straightens [his]_195-oppsie yellow and blue , stripy tie – which would n’t be so bad if [he]_195-oppsie was n’t sporting an orange shirt – and tweaks [his]_195-oppsie blonde quiff . ‘ [I]_195-oppsie ’ll be back after [I]_195-oppsie ’ve pacified the loopy old bird . ’_[195-oppsie] [he]_195-oppsie chants , collecting [his]_195-oppsie man - bag and dancing out of [the office]_{279-the office} . ‘ Bye . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt call , landing at [my]_2342-matt desk . ‘ [You]_2342-matt okay , [Victoria]_54-victoria ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [She]_1385-she ’s daydreaming . ‘ Hello ? ’_[1385-she] [I]_2342-matt call . ‘ Huh ? Oh , sorry . [I]_2342-matt was miles away . What did [you]_2342-matt say ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Are [you]_2342-matt okay ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt prompt . [She]_1385-she smiles brightly , flicking [her]_1385-she long blonde locks over [her]_1385-she shoulder . ‘ [I]_1385-she could n’t be better . ’_[1385-she] Of course . [I]_2342-matt wonder if [her]_1385-she good mood has something to do with [a certain standoffish , smart suited man called [Drew]_327-jesse]_{1386-a certain standoffish , smart suited man called drew} . [I]_2342-matt have n’t seen [her]_1385-she since Saturday night , but from what [I]_2342-matt recall – before drunkenness rendered [me]_2342-matt stupid – [she]_1385-she and [Drew]_327-jesse were looking rather friendly . Is [everyone]_282-everyone getting it on at the moment ? ‘ And why is that ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask on a raised brow . [She]_1385-she giggles like [a little girl]_{1388-a little girl} . ‘ [I]_1385-she have a date with [Drew]_327-jesse on Friday night . ’_[1385-she] [I]_2342-matt knew it , although [I]_2342-matt still ca n’t wrap [my]_2342-matt brain around ditsy [Victoria]_54-victoria and serious [Drew]_327-jesse . ‘ Anywhere nice ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [She]_1385-she shrugs . ‘ [He]_1385-she did n’t say . [He]_1385-she just asked if [he]_1385-she could take [me]_1385-she out . ’_[1385-she] [Her]_1385-she mobile rings and [she]_1385-she excuses [herself]_1385-she by waving it at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt turn [my]_2342-matt attention to [my]_2342-matt computer , silencing [my]_2342-matt phone when it starts blurting Black and Gold . It ’s becoming automatic to just reach over and press the button on the side without even looking . After it ’s shouted at [me]_2342-matt three times on the bounce , [I]_2342-matt turn the sound off altogether . [The man]_2342-matt is a persistent pain in the arse . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] off , ’ [Victoria]_54-victoria calls , getting up from [her]_1385-she desk . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll be back about four . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt wo n’t see [you]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’ve [a doctor]_{1390-a doctor} ’s appointment at four . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Oh ? ’ [She]_1385-she glances over on [her]_1385-she way out . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt lost [my]_2342-matt pills . ’ [I]_2342-matt offer . [She]_1385-she pulls a face that tells [me]_2342-matt [she]_1385-she ’s been there and done that . It makes [me]_2342-matt feel slightly better for being so careless . [I]_2342-matt start filtering through [my]_2342-matt emails and take some copies of drawings to send to [[my]_2342-matt contractors]_{3022-my contractors} . When it hits three o’clock , [I]_2342-matt go to make the coffee . [Sally]_54-victoria always does it , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] relieved to ease [my]_2342-matt eyes from [my]_2342-matt bright computer screen . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hear [Sally]_54-victoria call [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt poke [my]_2342-matt head around the kitchen door , seeing [her]_54-victoria waving the office phone . ‘ [A man on the phone for [you]_{3023-a man on the phone for you}]_{3023-a man on the phone for you} , [he]_{3023-a man on the phone for you} wo n’t say who [he]_{3023-a man on the phone for you} is . ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt heart jumps into [my]_2342-matt throat . [I]_2342-matt know damn well who it is . ‘ Is [he]_{3023-a man on the phone for you} on hold ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , shall [I]_2342-matt put [him]_{3023-a man on the phone for you} through ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt yell , and [poor nervous Sally]_54-victoria flinches . ‘ [I]_54-victoria ’m_{[54-victoria]} sorry . Tell [him]_185-pete [I]_2342-matt ’m out of [the office]_{279-the office} . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Oh , okay . ’_{[54-victoria]} [She]_54-victoria looks all wide eyed and confused as [she]_54-victoria pushes a button on the phone that will connect [her]_54-victoria back to [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘ [I]_185-pete ’m_[185-pete] sorry , [Sir]_185-pete . [Ava]_832-ava is out of the offi … ’ [She]_832-ava jumps a metre into the air , dropping the phone onto [her]_832-ava desk with a loud clatter . [She]_832-ava scrambles to pick it up again . ‘_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt … [I]_2342-matt … I’m … [I’m]_2342-matt … sor … sorry , [Sir]_185-pete … ’ [She]_832-ava ’s stuttering and stammering all over [the place]_{308-the place} , a good indication that [Jesse]_327-jesse is yelling down the phone at [her]_832-ava . [I]_185-pete feel riddled with guilt for putting [her]_832-ava through this . ‘_[185-pete] [Sir]_185-pete , please … [I]_2342-matt … [I]_2342-matt assure [you]_185-pete … she’s … [she]_832-ava ’s not here . ’ [I]_832-ava watch as [she]_832-ava freaks out at [her]_832-ava desk , looking at [me]_832-ava wide eyed and stunned as [she]_832-ava ’s verbally assaulted by [Mr Neurotic]_{196-mr neurotic} . [I]_832-ava smile apologetically . [I]_832-ava ’ll buy [her]_832-ava some flowers . [She]_832-ava drops the phone back into the cradle , looking at [me]_832-ava in shock . ‘_[832-ava] Who was that ? ’ [she]_832-ava asks . [She]_832-ava ’s going to cry . ‘_{[54-victoria]} [Sally]_54-victoria , [I]_2342-matt ’m so sorry . ’_{[54-victoria]} [I]_2342-matt quickly grab the coffees from [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} – the only peace offering [I]_2342-matt can lay [my]_2342-matt hands on at the moment – and drop [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s on [his]_327-jesse desk , exiting sharply before [he]_327-jesse can strike up a conversation . [I]_2342-matt take [Sally]_54-victoria ’s coffee to [her]_54-victoria desk and place it on [her]_54-victoria coaster . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] so sorry . ’ [I]_587-someone hope [I]_587-someone sound as guilty as [I]_587-someone feel . [Sally]_54-victoria blows out a long exasperated breath . ‘_{[587-someone]} [Someone]_587-someone needs a cuddle ! ’ [She]_54-victoria starts giggling . [I]_587-someone ’m_{[587-someone]} completely stunned on the spot . [I]_2342-matt was expecting tears and a nervous breakdown . Instead , dull as dish water [Sally]_54-victoria has just cracked a joke . [I]_2342-matt look at the mousey , plain [Jane]_197-jane chuckling , and [I]_2342-matt start laughing too – a proper bend over , tears in [my]_2342-matt eyes , stomach cramping belly laugh . It feels so good . [Sally]_54-victoria joins [me]_2342-matt in [my]_2342-matt hysteria as [we]_1394-we both fall apart all over [the office]_{279-the office} . ‘ What ’s going on ? ’_{[54-victoria]} [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s voice calls from [his]_327-jesse desk . [I]_2342-matt wave [my]_2342-matt hand in the air to [him]_327-jesse and [he]_327-jesse rolls [his]_327-jesse eyes , returning to [his]_327-jesse computer on an exasperated head shake . [I]_2342-matt could n’t tell [him]_327-jesse , even if [I]_2342-matt was in a fit state to talk . [I]_2342-matt leave [Sally]_54-victoria crying and head for [the toilet]_{440-the toilet} to sort [myself]_2342-matt out . Oh , that feels so good . [I]_2342-matt ’ve seen [Sally]_54-victoria in a whole new light . [I]_2342-matt like sarcastic [Sally]_54-victoria . When [I]_2342-matt ’ve gathered [myself]_2342-matt together and dabbed [my]_2342-matt running mascara , [I]_2342-matt let [Patrick]_327-jesse know that [I]_2342-matt ’m off for [a doctor]_{1390-a doctor} ’s appointment . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry , [Sally]_54-victoria , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t look at [you]_54-victoria ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt splutter as [I]_2342-matt pass [her]_54-victoria desk and leave [the office]_{279-the office} , hearing [her]_54-victoria laughing again . [I]_2342-matt compose [myself]_2342-matt and make [my]_2342-matt way to the tube . Chapter 23 After receiving a lecture about carelessness from [Doctor Monroe]_{198-doctor monroe} , [[our]_1398-our life - long family doctor]_{1399-our life - long family doctor} , [she]_54-victoria gave [me]_2342-matt a prescription for [my]_2342-matt pills and sent [me]_2342-matt on [my]_2342-matt way , but not before checking how [Mum]_577-mum and [Dad]_581-dad are getting on in [Newquay]_19-newquay . With [Dad]_581-dad ’s health being the main reason for [their]_1400-their winding down from [the big city]_{1401-the big city} , [she]_54-victoria was keen to hear all is well . [I]_2342-matt stop off at [the chemist]_{1402-the chemist} on the way [home]_281-home , rolling in the door at just before six . It makes a change to be [home]_281-home so early . [I]_2342-matt ’m surprised to find [Kate]_2557-kate is n’t [home]_281-home , but [Margo]_1052-margo is parked up outside so [she]_2557-kate ’s not delivering cakes . [I]_2342-matt shower , change into [my]_2342-matt shorts and vest , and blow - dry [my]_2342-matt hair roughly . When [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] done , [I]_2342-matt grab [my]_2342-matt phone from [my]_2342-matt bag and roll [my]_2342-matt eyes at the twenty missed calls and , rather sensibly , delete the five texts without reading [them]_1404-them . It starts silently flashing in [my]_2342-matt hand as [I]_2342-matt walk through to [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . [Wo]_92-wo n’t [the man]_{465-that man} just give up ? [He]_{465-that man} ’s clearly not use to rejection , and [he]_{465-that man} clearly does n’t like it . [My]_2342-matt wine bottle clatters against [my]_2342-matt glass , mid - pour , when [I]_2342-matt jump out of [my]_2342-matt skin at an almighty bang on the front door . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Oh God , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mutter to [myself]_2342-matt . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ! ’_{[465-that man]} [he]_{465-that man} roars , banging again . [I]_2342-matt hurry through to [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} , looking out of the blind to see [Jesse]_327-jesse staring up at the window . [He]_{465-that man} looks frantic . What ’s wrong with [that man]_{465-that man} ? [He]_{465-that man} can stay out there all night , if [he]_{465-that man} likes , [I]_2342-matt ’m not answering the door . Being face to face with [him]_{465-that man} will be a huge mistake . [I]_832-ava watch as [he]_{465-that man} holds [his]_{465-that man} phone to [his]_{465-that man} ear and [mine]_832-ava starts flashing in [my]_832-ava hand again . [I]_832-ava reject it and look on as [he]_{465-that man} glances at [his]_{465-that man} phone in disbelief . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava ! Answer the fucking door ! ’ ‘_[832-ava] No . ’ [I]_2557-kate snap , watching [him]_{465-that man} pace down the path to [the road]_{2482-the road} . [I]_2557-kate nearly have heart failure when [I]_2557-kate spot [Sam]_1914-sam pull up in [[his]_1914-sam Porsche]_{3028-his porsche} . [Kate]_2557-kate gets out . Shit ! [She]_2557-kate approaches [Jesse]_327-jesse , who ’s waving [his]_327-jesse arms around like a loon , as [Sam]_1914-sam joins [them]_3029-them on [the pavement]_{2745-the pavement} and rubs [his]_327-jesse shoulder in a gesture of comfort . [They]_3029-them talk for a few moments before [Kate]_2557-kate leads [them]_3029-them up the path to the front door . ‘_[2557-kate] No , [Kate]_2557-kate ! ’ [I]_2557-kate shout at the window . ‘_[2557-kate] Fuck , fuck , fuck , fuck ! ’ That ’s it , [our]_3031-our friendship is over ! [I]_2557-kate stand like a complete lemon in [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} , hearing the front door swing open , smashing against the wall behind it , and then the stamping of heavy feet flying up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} . [He]_1914-sam crashes through the lounge door , the anger on [his]_1914-sam face turning to relief before reverting back to pure fury again . [His]_1914-sam grey suit looks perfectly smooth and unaffected , unlike [his]_1914-sam disheveled hair and sweaty brow . ‘_[2557-kate] Where the FUCK have [you]_2557-kate been ? ’ [He]_1914-sam blasts [me]_2557-kate with [his]_1914-sam shout , [his]_1914-sam breath , literally , breezing past [my]_2557-kate ears . ‘_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt ’ve been pulling [my]_2342-matt fucking hair out ! ’ Yes , [I]_2342-matt can see that . [I]_2342-matt stand staring at [him]_2342-matt , completely dumb struck . [I]_2342-matt have no idea what to say . Is [he]_2342-matt under some sort of illusion that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] answerable to [him]_2342-matt ? [Kate]_2557-kate and [Sam]_1914-sam approach behind [him]_2342-matt , all quiet and apprehensive . [I]_2342-matt look at [Kate]_2557-kate , shaking [my]_2342-matt head . [I]_2342-matt ’m dying to ask [her]_2557-kate if [she]_2557-kate likes this [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘_[1408-we] [We]_1408-we ’re just gon na pop down The Cock for a drink . ’_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam says quietly , grabbing [Kate]_2557-kate ’s hand and pulling [her]_2557-kate down the landing . [She]_2557-kate does n’t try to stop [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt watch [them]_1409-them leave , mentally cursing [their]_1409-them chicken arses for leaving [me]_2342-matt alone to deal with [crazy man]_{1410-crazy man} here . [He]_{1410-crazy man} seems to take a few calming breaths , looking up at the ceiling in weariness , before returning [his]_{1410-crazy man} blazing gaze to [mine]_2342-matt . It penetrates [me]_2342-matt deeply . ‘ Does [someone]_587-someone need a reminder ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt must have a carpet burn on [my]_2342-matt chin because [my]_2342-matt jaw has just plummeted to the rug . It really is all about sex to [him]_2342-matt . [His]_2342-matt self - assuredness is shocking and [his]_2342-matt opinion of [me]_2342-matt inexcusable . ‘ No ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout , steaming past [him]_2342-matt into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . [I]_2342-matt need that drink ! [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_2342-matt follow [me]_2342-matt , watching as [I]_2342-matt chuck [my]_2342-matt phone on the worktop and yank the bottle of wine up . ‘ [You]_{1412-a complete bastard} ’re_{[1412-a complete bastard]} [a complete bastard]_{1412-a complete bastard} ! ’ [I]_{1412-a complete bastard} yell , pouring [my]_{1412-a complete bastard} wine with shaky hands . [I]_{1412-a complete bastard} ’m_{[1412-a complete bastard]} boiling mad . [I]_2342-matt swing around and fire [him]_2342-matt [my]_2342-matt most evil look . [He]_2342-matt actually winces slightly , which fills [me]_2342-matt with immense satisfaction . ‘ [You]_{1412-a complete bastard} ’ve got what [you]_{1412-a complete bastard} wanted . So have [I.]_2342-matt Let ’s not fuck about . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt spit . [I]_2342-matt have n’t got what [I]_2342-matt wanted , not in the least bit , but [I]_2342-matt ignore the voice in [my]_2342-matt head screaming that at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt need to stop this before [I]_2342-matt get dragged any further into the intensity that is [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse . ‘ Watch [your]_{1412-a complete bastard} fucking mouth ! ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt shouts . ‘ What are [you]_{1412-a complete bastard} talking about ? [I]_2342-matt have n’t got what [I]_2342-matt wanted . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_{1412-a complete bastard} want more ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt quickly swig [my]_2342-matt wine . ‘ Well , [I]_2342-matt do n’t , so stop hounding [me]_2342-matt , [Jesse]_327-jesse . And stop shouting at [me]_2342-matt ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt go for brutality , but [I]_2342-matt fear [I]_2342-matt probably sound pretty pathetic in [my]_2342-matt attempt . Something ’s got to work . [I]_2342-matt take another huge gulp of [my]_2342-matt wine , jumping when it ’s swiped from [my]_2342-matt hand and tossed in the sink . [I]_2342-matt wince at the shattering of glass that cracks through the air . ‘ [You]_3035-you do n’t have to drink like [a fucking fifteen year old]_{3036-a fucking fifteen year old} . ’_[1413-his] [he]_1413-his yells . [My]_2342-matt fists ball at [my]_2342-matt sides as [I]_2342-matt use all of [my]_2342-matt willpower to calm [myself]_2342-matt down . ‘ Get out ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scream . [My]_2342-matt attempts are failing miserably . [I]_2342-matt ’m becoming frantic – desperate . [I]_2342-matt shrink when [he]_1413-his roars in frustration , throwing [his]_1413-his fist into the kitchen door , leaving a huge dent in the wood . Oh , shit ! [I]_2342-matt stand there , eyes bulging and lips sealed firmly shut as [I]_2342-matt watch [his]_1413-his fierce reaction to [my]_2342-matt rejection . [He]_1413-his turns to face [me]_2342-matt , shaking [his]_1413-his hand a little , and looks [me]_2342-matt square in the eyes , [his]_1413-his sludgy stare attacking [me]_2342-matt . Fuck [me]_2342-matt , that ’s got ta hurt . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] about to go to the freezer to get some ice , but [he]_1414-his starts to stalk towards [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt brace [my]_2342-matt hands behind [me]_2342-matt on the edge of the worktop and watch [him]_1414-his gain on [me]_2342-matt until [we]_1415-we are front to front . [He]_1414-his leans forward , placing [his]_1414-his hands over [mine]_2342-matt , effectively trapping [me]_2342-matt . Breathing heavily in [my]_2342-matt face , [he]_1414-his scowls at [me]_2342-matt , and then smashes [his]_1414-his lips onto [my]_2342-matt mouth . [My]_2342-matt breath is literally sucked out of [me]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt writher under [him]_1414-his , trying to free [myself]_2342-matt . What ’s [he]_1414-his doing ? Actually , [I]_2342-matt know exactly what [he]_1414-his ’s doing . [He]_1414-his ’s going to hit [me]_2342-matt with a reminder fuck . [I]_2342-matt ’m so screwed . [He]_1414-his pushes [his]_1414-his lips harder against [mine]_2342-matt , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t accept [his]_1414-his kiss . [I]_2342-matt keep telling [myself]_2342-matt that this is bad , so bloody wrong . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to hurt even more if [I]_2342-matt accept this , [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt will . [I]_2342-matt half - heartedly try to free [myself]_2342-matt , but [he]_1414-his growls low in [his]_1414-his throat , [his]_1414-his hands tightening on [mine]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m not going anywhere . [My]_1414-his desperate attempts to halt this are being seriously hindered by [his]_1414-his sheer determination to break [me]_1414-his down . [His]_1414-his tongue skims [my]_1414-his bottom lip as [I]_1414-his continue to deny [him]_1414-his access , shuddering in an attempt to fight off the reactions [he]_1414-his ’s drawing from [me]_1414-his . [I]_1414-his know if [he]_1414-his gains entry , it will be game over , so [I]_1414-his stubbornly keep [my]_1414-his lips locked shut while mentally pleading for [him]_1414-his to give up . When [he]_1414-his releases one of [my]_1414-his hands , [I]_1414-his instantly grab [his]_1414-his bicep to push [him]_1414-his away , but it ’s no good . [He]_1414-his ’s a powerhouse of [a man]_{340-a man} and [a determined one at that]_{3038-a determined one at that} . [He]_1414-his ’s not affected in the slightest by [my]_1414-his meager attempts to free [myself]_1414-his . [He]_1414-his grabs [my]_1414-his hip tightly and [I]_1414-his jerk under [him]_1414-his , but [I]_1414-his ’m_[1414-his] pressed back into [the worktop]_{2614-the worktop} . [I]_2342-matt ’m completely trapped , but [I]_{1417-stubborn woman} still defiantly reject [his]_1414-his kiss , keeping [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} lips shut tight . [I]_{1417-stubborn woman} turn [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} head away when [he]_1414-his eases up a bit . ‘_{[1417-stubborn woman]} [Stubborn woman]_{1417-stubborn woman} . ’ [he]_1414-his mutters , pressing [his]_1414-his lips against [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} neck , licking and nibbling [his]_1414-his way down to the hollow , circling long , wet strokes before working [his]_1414-his way up to [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} ear and biting at [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} lobe . [I]_{1417-stubborn woman} squeeze [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} eyes shut , pleading with [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} self - control to resist [his]_1414-his irresistible touch . [My]_{1417-stubborn woman} fingernails are digging into [his]_1414-his tense upper arm and [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} lips are locked shut for fear of letting out a cry of pleasure . [His]_1414-his hand leaves [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} hip and moves slowly across [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} stomach , skimming the waistband of [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} shorts . ‘_{[1417-stubborn woman]} Please . Please , stop . ’ [I]_{1417-stubborn woman} cry . ‘_{[1417-stubborn woman]} [You]_{1417-stubborn woman} stop , [Ava]_832-ava . Just stop . ’ Slipping [his]_1414-his index finger under the material , [he]_1414-his traces left to right , in slow , soft , measured strokes while continuing the invasion of [his]_1414-his lips on [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} ear and neck . [I]_{1417-stubborn woman} could cry with frustration . The warm friction buckles [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} knees , sending violent quivers over [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} entire body . [I]_{1417-stubborn woman} hear [him]_1414-his laugh lightly , deep at the back of [his]_1414-his throat , sending vibrations down [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} spine and a slow steady beat to [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} core . [I]_{1417-stubborn woman} clamp [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} thighs together , moving [my]_{1417-stubborn woman} hand from [his]_1414-his arm to [his]_1414-his chest and pushing in total vain . [I]_{1417-stubborn woman} do n’t even know why [I]_{1417-stubborn woman} ’m_{[1417-stubborn woman]} bothering now . [I]_2342-matt ’m a heartbeat away from surrendering to [him]_1414-his . [He]_1414-his ’s persistently pursuing [me]_2342-matt in lust , and [I]_2342-matt ’ve fallen hard for [him]_1414-his – really hard . [My]_2342-matt head feels like it could explode , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not sure if it ’ll be in pleasure or confusion . [I]_2342-matt ’m so bloody confused . When [his]_1414-his lips reach [mine]_2342-matt again , [I]_2342-matt still resist , trying [my]_2342-matt hardest to block it all out . [My]_2342-matt poor brain is being thrown a million different commands – fight [him]_1414-his ; resist [him]_1414-his ; accept [him]_1414-his ; kiss [him]_1414-his ; knee [him]_1414-his in the bollocks . And then [his]_1414-his hand is delving into [my]_2342-matt knickers , [his]_1414-his fingers separating [me]_2342-matt , causing electricity to spark violently through [me]_2342-matt . [He]_1414-his brushes over [my]_2342-matt clitoris , so very gently . [I]_2342-matt jerk , [my]_2342-matt mouth opens and [I]_2342-matt let out a cry of pleasure . [He]_1414-his takes full advantage of [my]_2342-matt lapse in willpower , thrusting [his]_1414-his tongue into [my]_2342-matt mouth , exploring and lapping every corner , [his]_1414-his thumb slowly circling [my]_2342-matt burning core . [I]_2342-matt kiss [him]_1414-his back . ‘_[2342-matt] Let [my]_2342-matt hand go . ’ [I]_2342-matt pant , flexing the muscles in [my]_2342-matt arm . [He]_1414-his must know that [he]_1414-his ’s got [me]_2342-matt because [my]_2342-matt hand is released on a moan and [he]_1414-his ’s griping the nape of [my]_2342-matt neck immediately . [I]_2342-matt throw [my]_2342-matt arms around [his]_1414-his neck to pull [him]_1414-his closer to [me]_2342-matt – just like that . [His]_1414-his hips thrust against [his]_1414-his hand , increasing the pressure of [his]_1414-his assault on [my]_2342-matt core and [his]_1414-his fingers enter [me]_2342-matt . [My]_2342-matt muscles grip [him]_1414-his hard . [I]_2342-matt moan . [He]_1414-his pulls away from [me]_2342-matt , gasping and heaving , looking at [me]_2342-matt through [his]_1414-his hooded , glazed eyes . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt thought so . ’ [he]_1414-his says , [his]_1414-his husky tone pushing [my]_{830-a slave} building orgasm higher . [He]_1414-his crashes [his]_1414-his lips back on [mine]_{830-a slave} , and [I]_{830-a slave} accept it - all of it . Once again , [I]_{830-a slave} ’m_{[830-a slave]} [a slave]_{830-a slave} to [this beautiful , neurotic man]_{830-a slave} . [My]_2342-matt willpower has diminished and [my]_2342-matt weaknesses have been weakened . [I]_2342-matt run [my]_2342-matt hands across [his]_{830-a slave} suited back , [my]_2342-matt fingers delving into [his]_{830-a slave} dirty blonde hair as [he]_{830-a slave} continues [his]_{830-a slave} excruciatingly slow , controlled drives with [his]_{830-a slave} fingers . [I]_2342-matt could cry with pleasure and frustration , but how can [I]_2342-matt resist this ? [I]_2342-matt ’ll never escape [him]_{830-a slave} . Now that [I]_2342-matt ’ve stopped fighting [him]_{830-a slave} , [his]_{830-a slave} tongue is working [my]_2342-matt mouth at a calmer , steadier rate . The hotness of [our]_1419-our combined mouths feels natural and absolute . [My]_2342-matt thighs tighten with the building climax threatening to attack [me]_2342-matt from every direction , and [my]_2342-matt grip of [his]_{830-a slave} hair increases . [He]_{830-a slave} gets the message , hardening [his]_{830-a slave} kiss , the strokes of [his]_{830-a slave} fingers and thumb becoming firmer as [I]_2342-matt ’m bulldozed by pleasure and rocketed skyward . [My]_2342-matt mind goes blank , except for the bliss of release riding through [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt bite [his]_{830-a slave} lip . [He]_{830-a slave} groans . Holy fucking shit ! [His]_{830-a slave} strokes ease up , and [I]_2342-matt release [his]_{830-a slave} lip from [my]_2342-matt clenched teeth . [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt can taste blood , but [my]_2342-matt eyes wo n’t open to confirm it . It would serve [him]_{830-a slave} right . ‘_[2342-matt] Remember yet ? ’ [he]_{830-a slave} whispers softly against [my]_2342-matt lips . [I]_2342-matt sigh , pulling [my]_2342-matt heavy eyes open to meet [his]_{830-a slave} green gaze . [I]_2342-matt do n’t answer [him]_{830-a slave} ; [he]_{830-a slave} knows the answer to that question . But as always , [I]_2342-matt never forgot . [He]_{830-a slave} does n’t demand an answer . [He]_{830-a slave} just leans down , dropping a gentle kiss on [my]_2342-matt mouth , [my]_2342-matt tongue sweeping across [his]_{830-a slave} bottom lip , licking away the small drop of blood that [I]_2342-matt ’ve drawn . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve made [you]_1420-you bleed . ’ ‘_[199-savage] [Savage]_199-savage . ’ [he]_{830-a slave} breathes , pulling [his]_{830-a slave} fingers slowly out of [me]_199-savage and sliding them into [my]_199-savage mouth . [He]_{830-a slave} watches [me]_199-savage closely as [I]_199-savage run [my]_199-savage tongue over them , a small smile playing at the corner of [his]_{830-a slave} mouth . [He]_{830-a slave} ’s got want [he]_{830-a slave} wants again – [me]_199-savage , surrendering to [him]_{830-a slave} . [I]_199-savage ’m_[199-savage] lifted onto the worktop . ‘ Why do [you]_{830-a slave} keep running away from [me]_199-savage ? ’_[199-savage] [His]_2342-matt eyes search [mine]_1421-mine as [he]_2342-matt rests [his]_2342-matt hands on either side of [my]_2342-matt thighs , bending [his]_2342-matt body , leaning in . [I]_2342-matt drop [my]_2342-matt head . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t look at [him]_2342-matt . What can [I]_2342-matt tell [him]_2342-matt ? That [I]_2342-matt ’ve fallen in love with [him]_2342-matt ? Perhaps [I]_2342-matt should – [he]_2342-matt might freak out and leave [me]_2342-matt alone . [I]_2342-matt shrug instead . [He]_2342-matt places [his]_2342-matt index finger under [my]_2342-matt chin and tips [my]_2342-matt head back up so [I]_2342-matt ’m forced to confront [his]_2342-matt achingly handsome face . [He]_2342-matt raises [his]_2342-matt eyebrows at [me]_2342-matt expectantly . ‘_[2342-matt] Talk to [me]_2342-matt , [baby]_2342-matt . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . ’ [He]_2342-matt rolls [his]_2342-matt eyes and slaps [my]_2342-matt hand away from the piece of hair [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] coiling around [my]_2342-matt finger . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_{[815-a shit liar]} [a shit liar]_{815-a shit liar} , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ ‘_{[815-a shit liar]} [I]_2342-matt know . ’ [I]_2342-matt huff . [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to sort that bad habit out quickly . ‘_[2342-matt] Tell [me]_2342-matt , now . ’ [he]_2342-matt demands softly . [I]_2342-matt sigh . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt ’re distracting [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to get hurt . ’_[2342-matt] There , [I]_2342-matt ’m not lying . That ’s true . [I]_2342-matt just left out the minor , major detail of [my]_2342-matt feelings for [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt look at [him]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt chews [his]_2342-matt bottom lip , the cogs of [his]_2342-matt mind going into overdrive . [He]_2342-matt does n’t know what to say to that . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] so glad [I]_2342-matt did n’t hit [him]_2342-matt with the love bomb . ‘ [I]_2342-matt see . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says flatly . Is that it ? [I]_2342-matt see ? ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] a distraction ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes . ’ [I]_2342-matt scowl . The worst kind ! [He]_2342-matt pouts . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt like distracting [you]_2342-matt . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt like [you]_2342-matt distracting [me]_2342-matt too . ’ [I]_2342-matt mumble sulkily . [I]_2342-matt notice [he]_2342-matt ignores the hurt comment , homing straight in on the distraction tactics . ‘_[2342-matt] What am [I]_2342-matt distracting [you]_2342-matt from ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Being sensible , ’ [I]_2342-matt reply quietly . The intoxicating affect [he]_2342-matt has on [my]_2342-matt body is setting deeper into [my]_2342-matt mindset . [He]_2342-matt said [he]_2342-matt would make [me]_2342-matt need [him]_2342-matt , and [he]_2342-matt ’s keeping true to [his]_2342-matt word . [He]_2342-matt smiles , completely satisfied , [his]_2342-matt eyes dark and promising again . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m going to distract [you]_2342-matt some more now . [We]_3039-we need to make [friends]_2512-friends . ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt low voice is sparking off [my]_2342-matt desire for [him]_2342-matt all over again as [he]_2342-matt grabs [me]_2342-matt under [my]_2342-matt bum and slides [me]_2342-matt off of the worktop to straddle [his]_2342-matt waist . ‘ Did n’t [we]_1423-we just make [friends]_2512-friends ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Not properly . [We]_1423-we need to make [friends]_2512-friends properly . It ’s the sensible thing to do . [We]_1423-we do n’t run anymore , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile and wrap [my]_2342-matt arms around [his]_2342-matt back as [he]_2342-matt walks [us]_1423-we out of [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , into [[my]_2342-matt bedroom]_{2495-my bedroom} , kicking the door shut behind [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt places [me]_2342-matt on the end of the bed , pulling [my]_2342-matt vest up over [my]_2342-matt head , [my]_2342-matt bra - free breasts springing free . [He]_2342-matt smiles , looking down into [my]_2342-matt eyes and tossing [my]_2342-matt vest on the floor . [He]_2342-matt starts pulling at the waist band of [my]_2342-matt shorts , encouraging [me]_2342-matt to lift [my]_2342-matt bum so [he]_2342-matt can draw them down [my]_2342-matt legs , taking [my]_2342-matt knickers with them . ‘ Stay there . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt orders , reaching up and pulling at [his]_2342-matt tie . Sparks of anticipation ricochet all around [my]_2342-matt body as [I]_2342-matt watch [him]_2342-matt slowly undress in front of [me]_2342-matt . [His]_2342-matt jacket follows [his]_2342-matt tie , then [he]_2342-matt slowly unbuttons [his]_2342-matt shirt . Hurry up ! The flex of [his]_2342-matt ripped chest has [me]_2342-matt virtually dribbling as [he]_2342-matt stands before [me]_2342-matt , taking painfully long to undress . [My]_2342-matt eyes are automatically drawn to the sight of [his]_2342-matt scar . [I]_2342-matt ’m desperate to know where it came from . ‘_[832-ava] Look at [me]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [My]_832-ava eyes fly straight to [his]_2342-matt , those sludgy pools of green watching [me]_832-ava carefully as [he]_2342-matt removes [his]_2342-matt shoes , socks and trousers , before finally dragging [his]_2342-matt boxers down [his]_2342-matt legs . [His]_2342-matt erection springs free . It ’s at eye level to [me]_832-ava . If [I]_832-ava reach forward and open [my]_832-ava mouth , [I]_832-ava ’ll have the upper hand . That would make a nice change . [I]_832-ava glance up at [him]_2342-matt , catching a wicked grin and blazing eyes . ‘_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt ’m desperate to be inside [you]_2342-matt after looking for [you]_2342-matt for the last two days , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says darkly . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll look forward to fucking [your]_2342-matt mouth later . [You]_2342-matt owe [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] A powerful thud crashes into [my]_2342-matt core as [he]_2342-matt leans down and curls [his]_2342-matt arm around [my]_2342-matt waist before crawling up the bed above [me]_2342-matt and placing [me]_2342-matt down gently beneath [him]_2342-matt . [My]_2342-matt thighs are spread by [his]_2342-matt knee , and [he]_2342-matt cradles [himself]_2342-matt between them , resting [his]_2342-matt forearms on either side of [my]_2342-matt head as [he]_2342-matt looks down at [me]_2342-matt with soft eyes . [I]_2342-matt could weep . Any plans [I]_2342-matt had of walking away before it ’s too late are totally obliterated . It ’s already too late , and [his]_2342-matt determination to have [me]_2342-matt , as and when [he]_2342-matt pleases , is not doing [me]_2342-matt any favours . ‘ [You]_2342-matt wo n’t run away from [me]_2342-matt again . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says softly but firmly . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt have to answer this . [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head and reach up to [his]_2342-matt shoulders . ‘ [You]_2342-matt need to answer [me]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt whispers . [I]_2342-matt feel the broad head of [his]_2342-matt erection pushing at [my]_2342-matt entrance , causing a ridiculous amount of heat to plague [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt wo n’t . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt confirm . [He]_2342-matt nods , holding [my]_2342-matt gaze as [he]_2342-matt slowly draws back and drives forward , plunging deeply into [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt moan and adjust [my]_2342-matt grip on [his]_2342-matt shoulders , shifting under [him]_2342-matt . The fullness is incredible , and [I]_2342-matt ’ve fast become use to [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt blows out a long controlled breath of air . The concentration frown flickering across [his]_2342-matt brow is shiny with sweat and heavy on [his]_2342-matt forehead . [I]_2342-matt resist the urge to contract around [him]_2342-matt – [he]_2342-matt needs a moment . [His]_2342-matt eyes close , [his]_2342-matt long lashes fanning , [his]_2342-matt head dropped to [mine]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt battles to compose [his]_2342-matt erratic breathing . [I]_2342-matt wait patiently for [him]_2342-matt to sort [himself]_2342-matt out , running [my]_2342-matt hands up and down [his]_2342-matt firm upper arms , more than happy to lay here looking at [this beautiful , neurotic man]_2342-matt so closely . [He]_2342-matt knows [I]_2342-matt need gentle [Jesse]_327-jesse right now . After a few moments , [he]_2342-matt gathers [himself]_2342-matt together and lifts [his]_2342-matt head back up to look at [me]_2342-matt . [My]_2342-matt heart constricts in [my]_2342-matt chest . [I]_2342-matt ’m so in love with [this man]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] This is what happens when [you]_1426-you deny [me]_2342-matt . Do n’t do it again . ’ [He]_2342-matt lifts [his]_2342-matt upper body to brace [his]_2342-matt arms , then lazily drags back and gradually drives forward . [I]_1426-you purr . Oh , good God . [He]_2342-matt repeats the delectable move , over and over , watching [me]_1426-you the entire time . ‘_[1426-you] [You]_1426-you need to think about this , [Ava]_832-ava . When [you]_1426-you ’re tempted to run again , think about how [you]_1426-you feel right now . Think about [me]_1426-you . ’_[1426-you] ‘ Yes . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt breathe , struggling to dampen down a fast buildup of pressure . [I]_2342-matt want to carry on like this forever . [I]_2342-matt want to feel like this forever . This is exactly why [I]_2342-matt ’ve been avoiding [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m weak and feeble in [my]_2342-matt attempts to brush [him]_2342-matt off . Or is [he]_2342-matt just determined ? Well , either way , [I]_2342-matt always end up at square one again … giving [myself]_2342-matt to [this man]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt rock [my]_2342-matt hips up to meet [his]_2342-matt every thrust , and [he]_2342-matt lowers [his]_2342-matt mouth to [mine]_2342-matt , taking [my]_2342-matt lips leisurely and lazily , matching [his]_2342-matt blazing hip rhythm with [his]_2342-matt tongue . [I]_2342-matt whimper , digging [my]_2342-matt nails into [his]_2342-matt arms . [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to stop marking [him]_2342-matt and drawing blood . [The poor man]_2342-matt is mistreated almost every time . [He]_2342-matt drives slowly forward , circles deeply and withdraws lazily , time and time again . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t hold out for much longer . How does [he]_2342-matt do this to [me]_2342-matt ? ‘_[2342-matt] Does that feel good ? ’ [he]_2342-matt whispers . ‘_[2342-matt] Too good , ’ [I]_2342-matt gasp on a lazy grind . ‘_[2342-matt] It does . Are [you]_1427-you there , [lady]_832-ava ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks against [my]_2342-matt lips . [I]_2342-matt nip [his]_2342-matt tongue . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m there . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ve got [you]_2342-matt , [baby]_832-ava . Let it go . ’_[2342-matt] The racking shudder that courses through [my]_2342-matt body has [me]_2342-matt clenched around [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s arousal , shaking wildly against [him]_327-jesse as [I]_2342-matt moan [my]_2342-matt release into [his]_327-jesse mouth . The last , deep thrust , followed by a jerk and hot sensation flooding [me]_2342-matt , signals [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s release . [He]_327-jesse holds [himself]_327-jesse deep and clenches [his]_327-jesse eyes shut , while paying loving attention to [my]_2342-matt mouth , moaning long and low . The pulsating of [him]_327-jesse is triggering [my]_2342-matt muscles to tense around [him]_327-jesse , all in time to [his]_327-jesse throbs . [I]_2342-matt ’m draining [him]_327-jesse dry . ‘_[68-god] [God]_68-god , [I]_2342-matt ’ve missed [you]_68-god . ’ [he]_327-jesse whispers , burying [his]_327-jesse face in the crook of [my]_68-god neck and nuzzling before rolling onto [his]_327-jesse back . [He]_327-jesse holds [his]_327-jesse arm up , and [I]_68-god move into [his]_327-jesse warm , firm chest , resting [my]_68-god cheek on [his]_327-jesse pec . [I]_68-god ’m_[68-god] so screwed – totally fucking screwed . ‘ [I]_2342-matt love sleepy sex with [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt muse dreamily . ‘ That was n’t sleep sex , [baby]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt brushes [my]_2342-matt hair from [my]_2342-matt face with [his]_2342-matt spare hand . It was n’t ? ‘ What was is then ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt kisses [my]_2342-matt forehead gently . ‘ That was catching up sex . ’_[2342-matt] Oh , a new one . ‘ [I]_2342-matt like catching up sex then . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Do n’t like it too much . It wo n’t happen very often . ’_[2342-matt] A stab of disappointment pierces [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Why ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Because , [lady]_2342-matt , [you]_2342-matt wo n’t be running away from [me]_2342-matt again , and [I]_2342-matt do n’t plan on being away from [you]_2342-matt very often either . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt inhales in [my]_2342-matt hair . ‘ If ever , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile to [myself]_2342-matt , throwing [my]_2342-matt leg over [his]_2342-matt thighs . [He]_2342-matt clasps [my]_2342-matt knee , rubbing circles over [my]_2342-matt skin with [his]_2342-matt thumb , while [I]_2342-matt trace [my]_2342-matt fingers across the surface of [his]_2342-matt scar . [I]_2342-matt ’m compelled to know how [he]_2342-matt got it . [He]_2342-matt has n’t mentioned it , except to warn [me]_2342-matt off asking , but it ’s not like it can be overlooked . [I]_2342-matt need to know more about [him]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] How did this happen ? ’ [I]_832-ava ask as [I]_832-ava follow the line around to [his]_2342-matt side . [He]_2342-matt inhales tiredly . ‘_[832-ava] How did what happen , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [His]_2342-matt words leave [no room]_{701-no room} for movement or interrogation on the matter . [He]_2342-matt does n’t want to talk about it . ‘_[832-ava] Nothing , ’ [I]_832-ava whisper softly , making a mental note not to ask again . ‘_[832-ava] What are [you]_1429-you doing tomorrow ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks in a blatant change of subject tactic . ‘_[832-ava] It ’s Wednesday , [I]_2342-matt ’m working . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Take the day off . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ What , just like that ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt feel [him]_2342-matt shrug . ‘ Yes , [you]_1429-you owe [me]_2342-matt two days . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt makes everything sound so straight forward . It ’s okay for [him]_2342-matt , with [his]_2342-matt own business and [no one]_{2594-no one} to answer to . [I]_2342-matt , on the other hand , have [clients]_424-clients , [a boss]_{1432-a boss} and a pile of work to do . ‘ [I]_2342-matt have too much to do . Besides , [you]_1429-you abandoned [me]_2342-matt for four days . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt remind [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt still has n’t explained [himself]_2342-matt . Will [he]_2342-matt now ? ‘ Come with [me]_2342-matt now then . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt squeezes [me]_2342-matt in a little bit more . [I]_2342-matt notice [I]_2342-matt get nothing of an explanation . ‘ Where ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to shoot over to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , sort a few things out with [John]_832-ava . [You]_832-ava can have some dinner while [you]_832-ava wait for [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] Not a chance ! [I]_2342-matt ’m not going to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not waiting for [him]_2342-matt in [the restaurant]_{1284-the restaurant} while [he]_2342-matt sees to business and [I]_2342-matt ’m not risking bumping into old pouty lips . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt ’ll stay here , [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to get in [your]_1434-you way . ’ [I]_2342-matt say quietly , hoping [he]_2342-matt does n’t push this . Another standoff with [Sarah]_54-victoria will not be a good way to end the day , the devious , interfering cow . What has [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s personal life got to do with [her]_54-victoria ? [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] rolled onto [my]_2342-matt back with [my]_2342-matt wrists pinned to the side of [my]_2342-matt head as [Jesse]_327-jesse looms over [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_1434-you wo n’t ever be in [my]_2342-matt way . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt rests [his]_2342-matt lips between [my]_2342-matt breasts and trails kisses across to [my]_2342-matt nipple . ‘ [You]_1434-you ’ll come . ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt nipple lengthens under [his]_2342-matt gentle , swirling tongue , [my]_2342-matt breathing fluttering . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll see [you]_1434-you tomorrow . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt force the words through pants . [His]_2342-matt teeth clamp lightly onto [my]_2342-matt nipple as [he]_2342-matt looks up at [me]_2342-matt , grinning . ‘ Hmmm , sense fuck ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt offers , through a mouth full of breast . Oh , no . [I]_2342-matt ’ll take the fuck , but [I]_2342-matt ’m still not going to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . Although , if [he]_2342-matt starts fucking [his]_2342-matt so called sense into [me]_2342-matt , then [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] screwed in more than one way . [He]_2342-matt can make [me]_2342-matt say anything . Well , [he]_2342-matt can do that pretty much all of the time , but especially during a sense fuck . [I]_2342-matt hear the front door crash open and the laughter of [Kate]_2557-kate and [Sam]_1914-sam coming up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} . [I]_2342-matt look down at [Jesse]_327-jesse still clamped around [my]_2342-matt nipple , the frustration marring [his]_2342-matt face having [me]_2342-matt secretly pleased . While [I]_2342-matt ’d take a sense fuck anytime , the sense [he]_2342-matt aims on fucking into [me]_2342-matt , on this particular occasion , makes no sense at all . Why would [I]_2342-matt want to set [myself]_2342-matt up for a verbal spar with [Sarah]_54-victoria ? [He]_2342-matt huffs childishly , releasing [my]_2342-matt nipple . ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t suppose [you]_2342-matt can keep [your]_2342-matt mouth shut while [I]_2342-matt fuck some sense into [you]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt raise [my]_2342-matt eyebrows . [He]_2342-matt knows that ’s impossible . ‘ For fucks sake . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt grumbles , pushing [himself]_2342-matt up , making a point of brushing [his]_2342-matt knee up the inside of [my]_2342-matt thigh and over [my]_2342-matt moist centre . The friction has [me]_2342-matt wanting to yank [him]_2342-matt back down to [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt do n’t want [him]_2342-matt to go . [He]_2342-matt leans down and kisses [me]_2342-matt hard and purposefully . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to go . When [I]_2342-matt call [you]_2342-matt tomorrow , [you]_2342-matt ’ll answer the phone . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt will . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt confirm obediently . [God]_68-god help [me]_2342-matt if [I]_2342-matt do n’t . [He]_2342-matt smiles darkly and grabs [my]_2342-matt hip . [I]_2342-matt squeal like [a little girl]_{1388-a little girl} and flip [myself]_2342-matt onto [my]_2342-matt front . Then [I]_2342-matt feel the sting of [his]_2342-matt palm meeting [my]_2342-matt backside . ‘ Ouch ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Sarcasm does n’t suit [you]_2342-matt , [lady]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] The bed shifts as [he]_2342-matt gets up . When [I]_2342-matt turn over , [his]_2342-matt shirt is on [his]_2342-matt back and [he]_2342-matt ’s working the buttons . ‘ Will [Sarah]_54-victoria be at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blurt , before [my]_2342-matt brain filters the stupid question . [He]_2342-matt pauses briefly before picking up [his]_2342-matt boxers and stepping into them . ‘ [I]_2342-matt hope so , [she]_54-victoria works for [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] What ? ‘ [You]_2342-matt said [she]_54-victoria was [a friend]_{2645-a friend} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt sound whinny . [I]_2342-matt mentally slap [myself]_2342-matt for it . [He]_2342-matt frowns . ‘ Yes , [she]_54-victoria ’s [a friend]_{2645-a friend} and [she]_54-victoria works for [me]_{200-marvelous} . ’_{[200-marvelous]} [Marvelous]_{200-marvelous} . [I]_2342-matt roll out of bed and find [my]_2342-matt vest and shorts . No wonder [she]_{200-marvelous} ’s always loitering about . Should [I]_2342-matt tell [him]_2342-matt that [she]_{200-marvelous} ’s warned [me]_2342-matt off ? No , [he]_2342-matt probably would n’t appreciate immature , petty jealousies . [God]_68-god , [I]_2342-matt hate [that woman]_{792-that woman} . [I]_2342-matt yank [my]_2342-matt vest and shorts on , and turn to find [Jesse]_327-jesse pulling [his]_327-jesse suit jacket on . [He]_327-jesse ’s watching [me]_2342-matt thoughtfully . Does [he]_327-jesse know what [I]_2342-matt ’m thinking ? ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_1438-you going to put some clothes on ? ’ [he]_327-jesse asks , looking [me]_2342-matt up and down . [I]_2342-matt look down at [my]_2342-matt shorts and vest combo and back up to [him]_327-jesse . [His]_327-jesse eyebrows are raised . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m at [home]_281-home . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , and [Sam]_1914-sam ’s out there . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Sam]_1914-sam does n’t seem to think anything of walking around in [his]_327-jesse pants . At least [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] covered . ’ ‘_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam ’s [an exhibitionist]_{1439-an exhibitionist} . ’ [he]_327-jesse grumbles , walking over to [my]_{1439-an exhibitionist} wardrobe and flicking through the rails . ‘_{[1439-an exhibitionist]} Here , put this on . ’ [He]_327-jesse hands [me]_{1439-an exhibitionist} a chunky knit , oversized , cream jumper . ‘_{[1439-an exhibitionist]} No ! ’ [I]_{1439-an exhibitionist} splutter in disgust . [I]_{1439-an exhibitionist} ’ll pass out of overheating ! [He]_327-jesse thrusts it closer to [me]_{1439-an exhibitionist} with a determined , dirty look . ‘_{[1439-an exhibitionist]} Put the jumper on . ’ ‘_{[1439-an exhibitionist]} No . ’ [I]_{1439-an exhibitionist} say it slowly and concisely . [He]_1914-sam ’s not dictating [my]_{1439-an exhibitionist} wardrobe , especially not when [I]_{1439-an exhibitionist} ’m_{[1439-an exhibitionist]} at [home]_281-home . [I]_2342-matt snatch the jumper from [him]_1914-sam and throw it on the bed , watching as [he]_1914-sam follows its path through the air . [He]_1914-sam looks at it sprawled on the bed , then slowly returns [his]_1914-sam eyes to [mine]_2342-matt . [His]_1914-sam teeth are going ten to the dozen , chewing [his]_1914-sam bottom lip . ‘ Three , ’_[1914-sam] [he]_1914-sam grates . [My]_2342-matt eyes widen . ‘ Are [you]_2342-matt winding [me]_1914-sam up ? ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam ignores [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Two , ’_[1914-sam] [I]_2342-matt still do n’t know what happens at zero , but it looks like [I]_2342-matt ’m going to find out . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not putting the jumper on . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ One , ’_[1914-sam] [His]_1914-sam lips press into a straight line of displeasure . ‘ Do what [you]_2342-matt like , [Jesse]_327-jesse . [I]_1914-sam ’m_[1914-sam] not putting that jumper on . ’ [His]_1914-sam eyes narrow . ‘_[1914-sam] Zero , ’ [We]_3048-we stand opposite each other , [him]_1914-sam with an expression of genuine fury mixed with a bit of delight , and [me]_327-jesse wondering what the hell [he]_1914-sam ’s going to do now that [he]_1914-sam ’s reached zero . [I]_327-jesse scan [the room]_{2350-the room} , looking for an escape , but there ’s only one , and [I]_327-jesse have to get past [Jesse]_327-jesse to make it there . What are the chances of that ? [He]_1914-sam shakes [his]_1914-sam head , exhaling a long , lung full of air , and then [he]_1914-sam makes [his]_1914-sam move . [I]_327-jesse dart across the bed to escape , getting caught up in the mountain of sheets and squealing when [I]_327-jesse feel [his]_1914-sam warm palm wrap around [my]_327-jesse ankle . [He]_1914-sam yanks [me]_327-jesse across the bed . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse ! ’ [I]_327-jesse cry as [he]_1914-sam flips [me]_327-jesse over and straddles [me]_327-jesse , pinning [my]_327-jesse arms under [his]_1914-sam knees . ‘_[327-jesse] Get off ! ’ [I]_327-jesse blow [my]_327-jesse hair out of [my]_327-jesse face , finding [him]_327-jesse looking down at [me]_327-jesse , [his]_327-jesse face deadly serious . ‘_[327-jesse] Let ’s clear something up . ’ [He]_327-jesse removes [his]_327-jesse jacket , throws it on the bed and picks up the jumper . ‘_[327-jesse] If [you]_1441-you do what [you]_1441-you ’re told , [our]_3050-our lives will be a lot easier . All this … ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse strokes [his]_327-jesse palms over [my]_2342-matt torso and pinches [my]_2342-matt nipples through [my]_2342-matt vest . [I]_2342-matt yelp . ‘ is for [my]_2342-matt eyes only . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_327-jesse moves [his]_327-jesse hands behind [him]_327-jesse and digs [his]_327-jesse fingers into the hollow above [my]_2342-matt hips bone . ‘ NO ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scream . ‘ Please , no ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt start laughing . Oh God , [I]_2342-matt ’ll pee [myself]_2342-matt ! [He]_327-jesse continues with the digs and squeezes , sending [me]_2342-matt on a wild bucking mission . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t breathe . [I]_2342-matt ’m between laughter and crying at the torturous assault , [my]_327-jesse bladder set to burst . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , [I]_2342-matt need [the toilet]_{440-the toilet} ! ’ [I]_2342-matt half laugh , half cry . All [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] aware of is the agonising suffering [he]_327-jesse ’s inflicting on [me]_2342-matt , [the cruel bastard]_327-jesse . And all because [I]_2342-matt wo n’t put a stupid jumper on ? ‘ That ’s better . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_327-jesse say through [my]_2342-matt bucking frenzy . [I]_2342-matt feel [my]_2342-matt hair being brushed away from [my]_2342-matt face , then [his]_327-jesse lips pressed hard on [mine]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_327-jesse could have saved [us]_3051-us both a lot of trouble if [you]_327-jesse ’d have just put … [the … fucking … jumper]_{3052-the … fucking … jumper} … on . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt look up at [him]_327-jesse and scowl as [he]_327-jesse lifts [his]_327-jesse heavy weight from [me]_2342-matt and puts [his]_327-jesse jacket back on . [I]_2342-matt sit up , finding [I]_2342-matt ’m wearing the stupid jumper . How did [he]_327-jesse manage that ? [I]_2342-matt turn [my]_2342-matt fierceness onto [him]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse ’s regarding [me]_2342-matt intently , not a hint of amusement on [his]_327-jesse face . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll just take it off . ’ [I]_2342-matt spit . ‘_[2342-matt] No , [you]_2342-matt wo n’t . ’ [he]_327-jesse assures [me]_2342-matt , and [he]_327-jesse ’s probably right . [I]_2342-matt get off the bed , heading for [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} in the ridiculous jumper . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt ’re an unreasonable arse . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mutter , slamming the door behind [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt go for a wee and make a mental note , never to let [him]_2342-matt get to zero again . That was [my]_2342-matt worst nightmare . [I]_2342-matt rub [my]_2342-matt poor abused hips , the sensitive flesh above [my]_2342-matt bones still tingling . When [I]_2342-matt ’m done , [I]_2342-matt find [Jesse]_327-jesse in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} with [Sam]_1914-sam and [Kate]_2557-kate , who both run [their]_3055-their eyes over [my]_2342-matt jumper clad body . [I]_2342-matt shrug , pouring [myself]_2342-matt another wine . ‘_[2342-matt] Made up ? ’ [Kate]_2557-kate asks , perching on [Sam]_1914-sam ’s lap . [He]_1914-sam separates [his]_1914-sam thighs , causing [Kate]_2557-kate to slip between [his]_1914-sam legs on a squeal . [She]_2557-kate playfully slaps [him]_1914-sam before looking at [me]_2342-matt for an answer . ‘_[2342-matt] No , ’ [I]_2342-matt mutter , throwing [Jesse]_327-jesse a disgruntled look . ‘_[2342-matt] And if [you]_1443-your ’d like to know who has put a hole in [your]_1443-your kitchen door , look no further . ’ [I]_1444-i point [my]_1444-i glass at [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘_[1444-i] [He]_1444-i also smashed [your]_1443-your wine glass . ’ [I]_1444-i add , like the pathetic snitch [I]_1444-i am . [I]_1444-i watch as [Jesse]_327-jesse reaches in [his]_327-jesse pockets , palms off a pile of twenties and slaps them on the table in front of [Kate]_2557-kate . ‘_[1444-i] Let [me]_2342-matt know if it ’s anymore . ’ [he]_1444-i says , keeping [his]_1444-i eyes firmly on [me]_1444-i . [I]_1444-i look down at the table . There must be at least five hundred quid there . And [I]_1444-i notice [he]_1444-i did n’t apologise , the arrogant arse . [Kate]_2557-kate shrugs and scoops the money up . ‘_[1444-i] That should cover it . ’ [Jesse]_327-jesse shoves [his]_327-jesse hands back in [his]_327-jesse pockets , saunters over to [me]_2342-matt and bends so [his]_327-jesse face is level with [mine]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt like [your]_2342-matt jumper . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Fuck off . ’ [I]_2342-matt mouth , before taking a huge swig of wine . [He]_2342-matt grins , kissing [my]_2342-matt nose . ‘_[2342-matt] Mouth , ’ [he]_2342-matt warns . [He]_2342-matt grasps the back of [my]_2342-matt head , bunching [my]_2342-matt hair in [his]_2342-matt fist and pulls [me]_2342-matt forward so [we]_3056-we ’re_[2342-matt] nose to nose . ‘ Do n’t drink too much . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt orders , and then lands [me]_2342-matt with a searing hot kiss . [I]_2342-matt try to resist … a little . When [I]_2342-matt ’m free from [his]_2342-matt lips and [I]_2342-matt ’ve regained [my]_2342-matt senses , [I]_2342-matt scoff , taking another glug . [He]_2342-matt shakes [his]_2342-matt head mildly , inhaling deeply , before turning away from [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt work here is done . ’ [he]_2342-matt says smugly as [he]_2342-matt leaves . ‘_[2342-matt] Bye . ’ [Kate]_2557-kate sings on a laugh . [I]_2342-matt throw [her]_2557-kate a filthy look . ‘_[2342-matt] [[My]_2342-matt man]_2342-matt , ’ [Sam]_1914-sam holds [his]_2342-matt hand up on a grin . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , where ’s the love ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Up [his]_2342-matt arse ! ’ [I]_2342-matt snap , discarding [my]_2342-matt wine glass and collecting [my]_2342-matt phone before storming out of [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , back to [[my]_2342-matt room]_{2682-my room} . [The man]_2342-matt is impossible . [I]_2342-matt hear [Sam]_1914-sam and [Kate]_2557-kate laughing as [I]_2342-matt crawl into bed with [my]_2342-matt jumper on . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] pretending the only reason [I]_2342-matt ’m pissed is because [Jesse]_327-jesse has just manhandled [me]_2342-matt into a jumper . The fact that [he]_2342-matt ’s on [his]_2342-matt way to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , and [a certain pouty lipped witch]_{3060-a certain pouty lipped witch} is sure be there , has nothing to do with [my]_2342-matt bad mood – nothing at all . As [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] dozing off , [my]_2342-matt phone starts singing The Stone Roses , This is the One . [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes , reaching for it from [my]_2342-matt bedside table . [I]_2342-matt need to teach [that man]_{465-that man} some phone manners . ‘ What ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt snap . ‘ Who do [you]_65-ha think [you]_65-ha ’re_[65-ha] talking to , [lady]_65-ha ? ’ ‘_{[1447-an unreasonable arse]} [An unreasonable arse]_{1447-an unreasonable arse} ! ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll ignore that . Have [you]_65-ha still got the jumper on ? ’ [I]_2342-matt want to say no . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes . ’ [I]_2342-matt grumble . Would [he]_{465-that man} come back and torture [me]_2342-matt some more if [I]_2342-matt did say no ? ‘_[2342-matt] Is that all [you]_65-ha rang for ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] No , [I]_2342-matt wanted to hear [your]_65-ha voice . ’ [he]_{465-that man} says softly . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m having [Ava]_832-ava withdrawal . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt melt a little on a sigh . [He]_{465-that man} can be so domineering , bossy and unreasonable , and in the next breath , completely soppy and lovely . ‘ [You]_65-ha ’ve been messing with [my]_2342-matt phone again . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt accuse . ‘ [You]_65-ha ’re_[2342-matt] not going to hear [me]_2342-matt call if it ’s on silent , are [you]_65-ha ? ’ ‘_[65-ha] No , but how did [you]_65-ha know it was on silent ? ’ [I]_65-ha ask , although [I]_65-ha already know . [I]_65-ha need to put a PIN lock on it . ‘_[65-ha] Anyway , it ’s rude . And [you]_65-ha need to apologise to [Sally]_54-victoria . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry . Who ’s [Sally]_54-victoria ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No , [you]_65-ha ’re_[2342-matt] not . [Sally]_54-victoria is the waif like creature in [[my]_2342-matt office]_{1011-my office} who [you]_65-ha verbally attacked . ’ ‘_{[54-victoria]} Oh , [I]_2342-matt ’ll take care of it . Make sure [you]_65-ha dream of [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt smile . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt will . Goodnight . ’ ‘_[832-ava] Oh , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ ‘_[832-ava] What ? ’ ‘_[832-ava] [You]_832-ava ’re the one , [baby]_832-ava . ’_[1449-he] [He]_1449-he hangs up , and [my]_2342-matt heart jumps up into [my]_2342-matt throat . What is the one ? Does [he]_1449-he mean what [I]_2342-matt think [he]_1449-he means ? [I]_2342-matt start chewing [my]_2342-matt thumb nail and drift off to sleep considering [his]_1449-he coded statement . Am [I]_2342-matt [The One]_{0-the one} ? Is [he]_1449-he [The One]_{0-the one} ? Oh , hell . [I]_2342-matt really want [him]_1449-he to be . Chapter 24 [I]_2342-matt sit at [my]_2342-matt desk in a complete daydream , [my]_2342-matt mind racing with thoughts of The One and fuckings of various degrees . If – in [my]_2342-matt perfect little world – [I]_2342-matt end up in a relationship with [Jesse]_327-jesse , would this be how it is all of the time ? [Jesse]_327-jesse making [his]_327-jesse commands and [me]_2342-matt who obeys ? It ’s that or receiving some sort of fuck , or being subjected to some kind of countdown and torture until [I]_2342-matt relent , or [he]_1449-he manhandles [me]_2342-matt into complying . [I]_2342-matt ’m not denying the certain element of fun in the fucking side of things , but there has to be give and take . And [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] not sure [Jesse]_327-jesse knows how to give – unless it ’s one of [his]_327-jesse varying degrees of fucking . [He]_327-jesse ’s so good at it , though . [I]_2342-matt bristle when [I]_2342-matt conclude that it is , undoubtedly , because [he]_327-jesse ’s had plenty of practice . [My]_2342-matt pencil snaps in [my]_2342-matt hand . What ? [I]_2342-matt look at the splintered wood in [my]_2342-matt grasp . Oh … dear . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [you]_832-ava ’re_[2342-matt] here early . ’ [Sally]_54-victoria walks into [the office]_{279-the office} , and [I]_2342-matt immediately giggle to [myself]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt saw [Sally]_54-victoria in a different light yesterday . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes , [I]_2342-matt woke up early . ’ [I]_2342-matt say , wanting to add that it ’s because [a neurotic arse]_{3062-a neurotic arse} made [me]_2342-matt wear a winter jumper in bed , causing [me]_2342-matt to wake up in a pool of sweat . [She]_{3062-a neurotic arse} settles [herself]_{3062-a neurotic arse} at [her]_{3062-a neurotic arse} desk . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt tried calling [you]_1451-you yesterday after [you]_1451-you left . ’ ‘_[1451-you] [You]_1451-you did ? ’ [I]_1451-you frown , but then realise that [I]_1451-you probably cleared [Sally]_54-victoria ’s missed call with [the dozens of others from [Jesse]_327-jesse]_{3063-the dozens of others from jesse} . ‘_[1451-you] Yes , [that angry man]_{1452-that angry man} came into [the office]_{279-the office} shortly after [you]_1451-you left . ’ ‘_{[1452-that angry man]} [He]_{1452-that angry man} did ? ’ [I]_{1452-that angry man} should have known . ‘_{[1452-that angry man]} [He]_{1452-that angry man} did . And [his]_{1452-that angry man} mood had not improved . ’ [she]_{3062-a neurotic arse} says dryly . [I]_{1452-that angry man} can imagine . [I]_{1452-that angry man} smile . ‘_{[1452-that angry man]} Did [you]_1451-you give [him]_{1452-that angry man} a cuddle ? ’ [Sally]_54-victoria snorts , flopping back in [her]_54-victoria chair in another fit of laughter . [I]_327-jesse join [her]_54-victoria , laughing helplessly as [I]_327-jesse watch [Sal]_54-victoria fall apart all over [her]_54-victoria desk . [Patrick]_327-jesse walks in and looks at [both of [us]_{525-both of us}]_{525-both of us} in exasperation before making [his]_327-jesse way to [[his]_327-jesse own office]_{279-the office} , shutting the door behind [him]_327-jesse . Oh , shit ! ‘_[327-jesse] Was [Patrick]_327-jesse here ? ’ [I]_327-jesse ask . [She]_54-victoria takes [her]_54-victoria glasses off and starts cleaning them with the hem of [her]_54-victoria brown , polyester blouse . ‘_[327-jesse] What ? When [the lunatic]_{1454-the lunatic} came in ? No , [he]_{1454-the lunatic} was collecting [Irene]_363-irene from [the train station]_{1455-the train station} . ’ [I]_{1454-the lunatic} let out a sigh of relief . What ’s [Jesse]_327-jesse thinking ? [He]_{1454-the lunatic} ’s [a client]_{2741-a client} . [He]_{1454-the lunatic} ca n’t come into [[my]_{1454-the lunatic} office]_{279-the office} and start throwing [his]_{1454-the lunatic} weight around . [I]_{1454-the lunatic} can hardly pass off [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s temper as [a normal client]_{3067-a normal client} grievance scenario . [He]_{1454-the lunatic} ’s already heaved [me]_{1454-the lunatic} out of [the office]_{279-the office} once . The office door opens and [the flower delivery girl]_{3068-the flower delivery girl} – [Lusso girl]_{3068-the flower delivery girl} again – trundles in with two lavish sprays . ‘_{[1454-the lunatic]} Flower deliveries for [Ava]_832-ava and [Sally]_54-victoria ? ’ [I]_{1456-the smooth bastard} watch as [Sally]_54-victoria nearly passes out at [her]_54-victoria desk . [I]_{1456-the smooth bastard} bet [she]_54-victoria ’s never had flowers brought for [her]_54-victoria . [I]_{1456-the smooth bastard} already know who [they]_3069-they ’re_{[1456-the smooth bastard]} from , though . [The smooth bastard]_{1456-the smooth bastard} . ‘ [Me]_{1456-the smooth bastard} ? ’_{[1456-the smooth bastard]} [Sally]_54-victoria gushes , grabbing the colourful bouquet from [the delivery girl]_{792-that woman} and shooing [her]_{792-that woman} towards [my]_2342-matt desk . ‘ Thanks . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile , taking the simple spray of calla lilies before signing on behalf of [Sally]_54-victoria and [myself]_2342-matt . [Sal]_54-victoria looks like [she]_{792-that woman} might be in a daydream for the rest of the day . ‘ What does the card say , [Sal]_54-victoria ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt call , watching [her]_{792-that woman} eyes dart from left to right across the words . [She]_{792-that woman} leans back , placing [her]_{792-that woman} hand over [her]_{792-that woman} heart . ‘ It says … “Please accept [my]_{792-that woman} apologies . [That woman]_{792-that woman} makes [me]_{792-that woman} crazy ” Oh , [Ava]_832-ava ! ’_{[792-that woman]} [She]_{792-that woman} looks up at [me]_2342-matt all soppy . ‘ [I]_{792-that woman} would love to make [a man that crazy]_{3070-a man that crazy} ! ’_{[792-that woman]} [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes , retrieving the card from [my]_2342-matt own flowers . [I]_2342-matt bet [I]_2342-matt do n’t have an apology . And [Sally]_54-victoria would n’t be saying that if [she]_{792-that woman} was on the receiving end of [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s unreasonable , neurotic behavior . [I]_2342-matt make [him]_327-jesse crazy ? What a joke . [I]_2342-matt open [my]_2342-matt card . [You]_1458-i ’re the one [I]_1458-i ’ve been waiting for … Jx [My]_1458-i soppy side swoons slightly , but then the sensible side of [my]_1458-i brain – the part that ’s not completely consumed with [Jesse]_327-jesse – is screaming that [The One]_{0-the one} is actually [someone who drops to [their]_{0-the one} knees and obeys [his]_{0-the one} every command , demand and instruction]_{0-the one} . While [I]_1458-i ’m_[1458-i] fully aware that [I]_2342-matt ’ve done exactly that , on numerous occasions , [I]_2342-matt also need to keep a hold of [my]_2342-matt identity and [my]_2342-matt mind . It ’s bloody hard when [I]_2342-matt ’m so affected by [this man]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse ’s already got [my]_2342-matt body – or claimed it , more like . [My]_2342-matt phone starts ringing . [I]_2342-matt ignore the pang of disappointment at hearing the standard ringtone , but [I]_2342-matt ca n’t ignore the pang of panic when [I]_2342-matt see [Matt]_2342-matt ’s name flashing up on the screen , though . What does [he]_2342-matt want ? ‘_[2342-matt] Hello ? ’ [I]_832-ava greet as bored as [I]_832-ava intended it to be . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt did n’t think [you]_832-ava would answer . ’ [His]_2342-matt voice is cautious , and it should be after the stunt [he]_2342-matt pulled . [I]_832-ava do n’t know why [I]_832-ava even answered . ‘_[832-ava] Why would [you]_832-ava think that , [Matt]_2342-matt ? ’ The sarcasm is dripping from [my]_2342-matt voice . The worm has a nerve after what [he]_2342-matt said and how [he]_2342-matt behaved . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry , [Ava]_832-ava . [I]_2342-matt was bang out of line . Everything got on top of [me]_2342-matt . [[My]_2342-matt boss]_{745-my boss} told [me]_2342-matt that redundancies are going to be happening … and … it … urm … well , it put [me]_2342-matt on edge . ’_[2342-matt] Oh , lovely . So [he]_2342-matt thought [he]_2342-matt ’d try to get [me]_2342-matt back on that basis ? Does [he]_2342-matt want financial security if [he]_2342-matt happens to lose [his]_2342-matt job ? [Cheeky]_128-cheeky twat ! Does [he]_2342-matt realise what [he]_2342-matt ’s just said ? ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sorry about that . ’ [I]_2342-matt reply flatly . ‘_[2342-matt] Thanks . It just brought things [home]_281-home . [I]_2342-matt ’ve lost [you]_1460-you , and now [I]_2342-matt might be losing [my]_2342-matt job . It ’s all gone tits up . ’ [His]_2342-matt voice is quivering with emotion . [I]_2342-matt sigh . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sure [you]_1460-you ’ll be fine . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt assure [him]_2342-matt in [my]_2342-matt best calming tone . ‘ [You]_1460-you ’re_[2342-matt] good at [your]_1460-you job . ’ [He]_2342-matt really is . [He]_2342-matt has the confident – a bit too confident – attitude required of [a sales person]_{3073-a sales person} . ‘_[1460-you] Yeah , [I]_2342-matt just wanted to make amends with [you]_1460-you , though . ’ That ’s okay with [me]_1460-you , as long as [he]_2342-matt does n’t hit [me]_1460-you with another “ [I]_1460-you want [you]_1460-you back ” speech . What was [he]_2342-matt thinking ? ‘_[1460-you] It ’s fine , do n’t worry . [I]_2342-matt ’ll see [you]_1460-you about , okay ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Yeah , [we]_1461-we could do lunch again , ’ [he]_2342-matt adds quickly . ‘_{[2512-friends]} As [friends]_2512-friends … of course , [I]_2342-matt still have these boxes with the last of [your]_1460-you stuff . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll pick [them]_2512-friends up next week . Take care , [Matt]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt ignore [his]_2342-matt lunch suggestion . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt too , ’ [I]_2342-matt hang up , tossing [my]_2342-matt phone onto [my]_2342-matt desk . As much as [he]_2342-matt ’s a twat , [I]_2342-matt do n’t wish unemployment on [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt ’ll be fine . [I]_2342-matt put [Matt]_2342-matt out of [my]_2342-matt head and concentrate on getting some work done . [I]_2342-matt pretend not to check [my]_2342-matt phone every ten minutes to make sure it ’s on and the volume is up . Why has n’t [he]_2342-matt called ? [I]_2342-matt walk down [[our]_3074-our street]_{3075-our street} after picking up a bottle of wine and see [Kate]_2557-kate in the distance , jumping around in the middle of [the road]_{2482-the road} like the red headed nutter that [she]_2557-kate is . As [I]_2342-matt near , [I]_2342-matt do a double take . Parked up next to [Margo]_1052-margo is [another bright pink van]_1052-margo , but [this one]_1052-margo ’s brand spanking new . So , [Kate]_2557-kate ’s finally invested in some new wheels . It ’s about time . ‘_[2342-matt] Nice wheels . ’ [I]_2342-matt say as [I]_2342-matt approach . [She]_2557-kate spins around , [her]_2557-kate blue eyes dancing , [her]_2557-kate pale cheeks flushed . ‘_[2342-matt] Do [you]_1463-you know anything about this ? ’ [Me]_2342-matt ? ‘_[2342-matt] Why would [I]_2342-matt ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt just got [home]_281-home and it was parked [here]_314-here . [I]_2342-matt admired it for a bit , walked through the front door and trod on the keys . Look . ’ [She]_2557-kate thrusts the keys under [my]_2342-matt nose , prompting [me]_2342-matt to look at the note attached to a piece of string on the key ring . ‘_[2342-matt] No more bruised butts , please . ’ No ! [He]_1914-sam would n’t have , surely ? [I]_2342-matt think back to [his]_1914-sam fierce reaction to [my]_2342-matt battered bottom . ‘_[2342-matt] Have [you]_1463-you spoken to [Sam]_1914-sam ? ’ [I]_1914-sam ask . ‘_[1914-sam] Yep , [he]_1914-sam said [I]_2342-matt should speak to [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’ ‘_[1914-sam] Why would [he]_1914-sam say that ? ’ [I]_1914-sam ask shortly . ‘_[1914-sam] Well , obviously , because [he]_1914-sam thinks [Jesse]_327-jesse is [the mystery van buyer]_327-jesse . ’ [She]_2557-kate rolls [her]_2557-kate eyes . ‘_[1914-sam] If [the Lord]_{349-the lord} has brought [me]_2342-matt a van so [you]_1467-you do n’t bruise [your]_1467-you arse again , then [I’ll]_201-i’ll … well , [I]_2342-matt ’ll love the fact that [you]_1467-you bruise like a peach ! ’ This ca n’t be right . ‘_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate , [you]_1467-you ca n’t accept it . ’ [She]_2557-kate looks at [me]_2557-kate in disgust , and [I]_2557-kate know that there ’s not a hope in Hell of [her]_2557-kate returning [the van]_{600-the van} . [I]_2557-kate can see it in [her]_2557-kate delighted eyes . ‘_[2557-kate] No fucking way ! Do n’t [you]_1467-you dare make [me]_2342-matt give it back , [I]_2342-matt ’ve already christened [her]_2557-kate . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] What ? ’ [My]_1052-margo tone is seriously lacking patience . [She]_2557-kate spreads [her]_2557-kate long , pale fingers over the bonnet . ‘_[1052-margo] Meet , [Margo Junior]_1052-margo . ’ [She]_2557-kate lays [her]_2557-kate torso down on the bonnet of [Margo Junior]_1052-margo , caressing the pink metal . [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head in exasperation , stomping up the path to [the house]_{308-the place} . No doubt [she]_2557-kate loves the impossible prat even more now . What ’s [his]_3079-his game , with flowers for [Sally]_54-victoria and [a van for [Kate]_2557-kate]_{3080-a van for kate} ? Oh , and tossing [the Queen]_{3081-the queen} ’s currency on the kitchen table like it ’s a tea towel ? ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m taking [her]_2557-kate for a spin ! ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate yells up the path to [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt do n’t reply . Instead , [I]_2342-matt take [myself]_2342-matt up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} and straight into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} to put [my]_2342-matt flowers in a vase and crack open [my]_2342-matt bottle of wine . [I]_2342-matt finish [my]_2342-matt first glass and go for a shower . [He]_1470-he brought [Kate]_2557-kate a van ? [I]_2342-matt take [my]_2342-matt time washing the day away and leaving [[my]_2342-matt conditioner]_{1471-my conditioner} in for five minutes while [I]_2342-matt shave . As [I]_2342-matt turn the water off , [I]_2342-matt hear the Stone Roses track [I]_2342-matt ’ve been desperate to hear all day and nearly break [my]_2342-matt neck scrambling out of the shower to sprint across the landing . The phone rings off , the screen clearing to reveal eight missed calls . Oh , no . [He]_1470-he ’ll be ripping [his]_1470-he hair out again . [I]_2342-matt dial [him]_1470-he as [I]_2342-matt walk across [the landing]_{380-the landing} and into [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} , looking out of the window to see if [Kate]_2557-kate ’s back . [She]_2557-kate ’s not , but [Jesse]_327-jesse is pacing up and down [the garden path]_{1474-the garden path} , looking [his]_327-jesse usual Godly self , in jeans and a thin knitted , navy jumper . [I]_2342-matt smile , tingling from top to toe at the sight of [him]_1470-he . [He]_1470-he ’s frantically punching buttons on [his]_1470-he phone and , just like [I]_2342-matt knew it would , [my]_2342-matt mobile lights up in [my]_2342-matt hand . Ah ! ‘ Hello ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say , all cool and casual . ‘ Where the hell are [you]_2342-matt ? ’_[1470-he] [he]_1470-he barks down the phone . [I]_2342-matt ignore [his]_1470-he tone . ‘ Where are [you]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt counter . Of course , [I]_2342-matt know damn well where [he]_1470-he is . [I]_2342-matt stand at the window , watching [him]_1470-he rake [his]_1470-he hand through [his]_1470-he hair , but then [he]_1470-he disappears from view into the recess of the front door . ‘ [I]_1470-he ’m_[1470-he] outside [Kate]_2557-kate ’s kicking the door down , ’ [he]_1470-he snaps , ‘_[2557-kate] Is it too much to ask that [you]_1475-him answer [your]_1475-him phone the first time [I]_2342-matt call [you]_1475-him ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt was otherwise engaged . Why have n’t [you]_1475-him called all day ? ’ [I]_832-ava ask , making [my]_832-ava way down to the front door . ‘_[832-ava] Because , [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt do n’t want [you]_1475-him to feel hounded ! ’ [He]_1475-him ’s completed exasperated , making [me]_2342-matt smile . [I]_2342-matt love every crazy element of [him]_1475-him . ‘_[2342-matt] But [you]_1475-him ’re still shouting at [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt remind [him]_1475-him . [I]_2342-matt look out of the viewer , dissolving on the spot when [I]_2342-matt see [him]_1475-him leaning against the wall in the open porch way . ‘ [I]_1475-him am , ’_[1475-him] [he]_1475-him says softly . ‘ [You]_1475-him make [me]_1475-him crazy . Where are [you]_1475-him ? ’_[1475-him] [I]_2342-matt watch [him]_1475-him slide down the wall until [his]_1475-him arse hits the floor , knees bent , head dropped . Oh , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t see [him]_1475-him like that . [I]_2342-matt open the door . ‘ Here , ’_[1475-him] [He]_1475-him looks up and drops [his]_1475-him phone from [his]_1475-him ear , but makes no attempt to get up . [He]_1475-him just looks at [me]_2342-matt , relief flooding [his]_1475-him handsome face . [I]_2342-matt step out and slide down the wall opposite [him]_1475-him so [we]_1476-we ’re sat across from each other , knee to knee . [I]_2342-matt half expect [him]_1475-him to throw [me]_2342-matt inside because of [my]_2342-matt half naked state , but [he]_1475-him does n’t . Instead , [he]_1475-him reaches forward and places [his]_1475-him big hand on [my]_2342-matt exposed knee . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] less than surprised when it sends hot sparks of fire flying off all over [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt was in the shower . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Well , take [your]_2342-matt phone next time . ’_[1475-him] [he]_1475-him orders . ‘ Okay . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt salute [him]_1475-him . ‘ Where are [your]_2342-matt clothes ? ’_[1475-him] [He]_1475-him runs [his]_1475-him green eyes over [my]_2342-matt towel clad body . Ha ! [I]_2342-matt would n’t have dared kept [him]_1475-him waiting while [I]_2342-matt got dressed . [I]_2342-matt probably would ’ve found [him]_1475-him dead of a seizure . ‘ In [my]_2342-matt wardrobe , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt answer dryly . [His]_1475-him hand disappears under [my]_2342-matt towel , clasping [me]_2342-matt above [my]_2342-matt hip bone , prompting a jerk and the loosening of [my]_2342-matt towel . ‘ [[My]_2342-matt man]_327-jesse ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look down [the path]_{2482-the road} and see [Sam]_1914-sam walking up . When [I]_2342-matt return [my]_2342-matt eyes to [Jesse]_327-jesse , [he]_327-jesse looks like [he]_327-jesse may , very well , have a seizure now . [His]_327-jesse eyes are wide as [he]_327-jesse jumps to [his]_327-jesse feet and yanks [me]_2342-matt up , doing a spectacular job of keeping [me]_2342-matt covered by the towel . ‘ [Sam]_1914-sam , do n’t fucking move ! ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse yells . [I]_2342-matt ’m scooped up and bundled through the door at breakneck speed , hearing [Sam]_1914-sam laughing as [Jesse]_327-jesse jogs up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} with [me]_2342-matt in [his]_327-jesse arms , muttering about ripping prying eyes out . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] tossed on the bed . ‘ Get dressed , [we]_3083-we ’re_[2342-matt] going out . ’ [I]_2342-matt snap [my]_2342-matt head up . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not going to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . [I]_2342-matt get up from the bed , minus one towel , and go to [my]_2342-matt dressing table . ‘ Where ? ’_[327-jesse] [His]_327-jesse gaze travels down [my]_2342-matt naked form . ‘ Well , it occurred to [me]_327-jesse when [I]_327-jesse was out running that [I]_327-jesse ’ve not taken [you]_3084-you for dinner yet . [You]_3084-you have the most incredible legs . Get dressed . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse nods at [my]_2342-matt wardrobe . If [he]_327-jesse means dinner at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , then [I]_2342-matt ’m not game . [I]_2342-matt ’ll avoid that place at all costs if [she]_3085-she ’s there . And the chances are – now [I]_2342-matt ’ve established that [she]_3085-she works for [him]_327-jesse – [she]_3085-she will be . ‘_[2342-matt] Where ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask again as [I]_2342-matt start rubbing coco butter into [my]_2342-matt legs . ‘_[2342-matt] A little Italian place [I]_2342-matt know . Now , get dressed before [I]_2342-matt collect on [my]_2342-matt debt . ’ [I]_2342-matt stand , slowly massaging [my]_2342-matt cream in . ‘_[2342-matt] Debt ? ’ [His]_2342-matt eyebrows rise . ‘_[1479-you] [You]_1479-you owe [me]_2342-matt . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do ? ’ [I]_2342-matt frown , but [I]_2342-matt know exactly what [he]_2342-matt ’s talking about . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , [you]_1479-you do . [I]_2342-matt ’ll wait outside at the risk of cashing in sooner , ’ [He]_2342-matt gives [me]_2342-matt [his]_2342-matt roguish grin . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt would n’t want [you]_1479-you to think this was all about sex . ’ [He]_2342-matt leaves [me]_2342-matt with that little comment before stalking out . Oh , it ’s not all about the sex ? Those few words have just made [my]_2342-matt day . Maybe tonight [I]_2342-matt ’ll find out what goes on in that beautiful , complex mind of [his]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] suddenly filled of hope . After much deliberation on what to wear – [I]_2342-matt ’m shocked the decision has n’t been made for [me]_2342-matt – [I]_2342-matt settle on [my]_2342-matt beige capri pants , a nude , silk shirt and cream ballet pumps . [I]_2342-matt make sure [I]_2342-matt put [my]_2342-matt coral lace underwear on – [he]_2342-matt loves [me]_2342-matt in lace . [I]_2342-matt rough [my]_2342-matt hair up and smoke [my]_2342-matt eyes out . Nude gloss finishes [me]_2342-matt off . [I]_2342-matt walk onto [the landing]_{380-the landing} , finding an irritable [Jesse]_327-jesse pacing up and down . [I]_2342-matt frown . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt did n’t take that long . ’ [He]_2342-matt looks up , giving [me]_2342-matt [his]_2342-matt glorious smile , reserved only for [women]_348-women , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] reassured again . As [I]_2342-matt approach [him]_2342-matt , [he]_2342-matt looks [me]_2342-matt up and down with satisfaction , and as soon as [I]_2342-matt ’m close enough , [he]_2342-matt yanks [me]_2342-matt into [his]_2342-matt muscled body . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt ’re impossibly beautiful . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt breathes in [my]_2342-matt hair . ‘ So are [you]_2342-matt . Where ’s [Sam]_1914-sam ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Kate]_2557-kate ’s giving [him]_2342-matt a tour of [the van]_{600-the van} . ’_[2342-matt] Oh , [I]_2342-matt almost forgot about [Margo Junior]_1052-margo . [I]_2342-matt pull back , giving [him]_2342-matt a suspicious glare . ‘ [You]_2342-matt brought [Kate]_2557-kate a van ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt smirks . ‘ Are [you]_2342-matt jealous ? ’_[2342-matt] What ? ‘ No ! ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt face straightens . ‘ Yes , [I]_2342-matt brought [the van]_{600-the van} . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Why ? ’_[2342-matt] Does n’t [he]_2342-matt think it ’s a bit weird ? Is [he]_2342-matt trying to buy [[my]_2342-matt friend]_{1342-my friend} so [she]_{1342-my friend} overlooks [his]_{1342-my friend} unreasonable behavior ? ‘ Because , [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt do n’t want [you]_832-ava being tossed about in [that shed]_{3089-that shed} on wheels , that ’s why . And [I]_2342-matt do n’t have to explain [myself]_2342-matt to [you]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt huffs , standing back from [me]_2342-matt with [his]_2342-matt arms folded across [his]_2342-matt chest . [I]_2342-matt actually laugh . ‘ [You]_832-ava brought [[my]_2342-matt best friend]_{2426-my best friend} [a van]_{3091-a van} so [I]_2342-matt wo n’t get injured holding a cake up ? ’_[2342-matt] Oh , this is laughable . [He]_2342-matt scowls at [me]_2342-matt good and proper . ‘ Like [I]_2342-matt said , [I]_2342-matt do n’t have to explain [myself]_2342-matt to [you]_832-ava . Let ’s go . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt grabs [my]_2342-matt hand , leading [me]_2342-matt down to [the car]_{548-the car} . ‘ [You]_832-ava made [Sally]_54-victoria ’s day today . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say , virtually jogging to keep up with [his]_2342-matt long strides . ‘ Who ’s [Sally]_54-victoria ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ The waif like creature in [[my]_2342-matt office]_{1011-my office} , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt remind [him]_2342-matt , while considering if [his]_2342-matt lack of memory is an indication of [his]_2342-matt age too . ‘ Oh , has [she]_2557-kate forgiven [me]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Undoubtedly , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mutter . [Kate]_2557-kate spots [us]_1482-us and launches [herself]_2557-kate at [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘ Thank [you]_2342-matt ! ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate sings it repeatedly in [his]_2342-matt face . [Jesse]_327-jesse holds on to [her]_2557-kate with [his]_2342-matt one free arm as [she]_2557-kate continues to screech excitedly in [his]_2342-matt ear . [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes at [her]_2557-kate , spotting [Sam]_1914-sam shaking [his]_1914-sam head . [I]_2342-matt ’m comforted by the fact that [Sam]_1914-sam seems to find this all a bit over the top too . ‘_[2342-matt] It ’s for [my]_2342-matt benefit , [Kate]_2557-kate , not [yours]_2557-kate . ’ [he]_1914-sam says . [She]_2557-kate releases [him]_1914-sam . ‘_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt know ! ’ [She]_2557-kate grins , turning [her]_2557-kate bright blues onto [me]_2342-matt and mouthing , ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt love [him]_1914-sam ! ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Hey ! Where ’s the love ? ’ [Sam]_1914-sam calls . [She]_2557-kate skips off to throw [her]_2557-kate arms around [Sam]_1914-sam . [I]_{1483-crazy people} roll [my]_{1483-crazy people} eyes . [I]_{1483-crazy people} ’m_{[1483-crazy people]} surrounded by [crazy people]_{1483-crazy people} . [We]_1484-we pull up outside [a small Italian restaurant in [the West End]_{1486-the west end}]_{1485-a small italian restaurant in the west end} . [I]_2342-matt get out of [the car]_{548-the car} , and [Jesse]_327-jesse comes to collect [me]_2342-matt , grabbing [my]_2342-matt hand and pulling [me]_2342-matt into , what can only be described as , [a sitting room]_{1488-a sitting room} . Dimly lit and with Italian paraphernalia in every nook and cranny , it ’s like [I]_2342-matt ’ve stepped back in time to [the eighties in [Italy]_7-italy]_{1489-the eighties in italy} . ‘ [Sir Jesse]_202-jesse , how very good it is to see [you]_202-jesse . ’_{[1490-a small italian man]} [A small Italian man]_{1490-a small italian man} approaches . [He]_{1490-a small italian man} has a naturally happy face . [Jesse]_202-jesse clasps [his]_{1490-a small italian man} hand . ‘ [Luigi]_203-luigi , good to see [you]_202-jesse too , ’_[202-jesse] ‘ Come , come . ’_[203-luigi] [Luigi]_203-luigi gestures [us]_1491-us further into [the room]_{2350-the room} . [He]_{1490-a small italian man} settles [us]_1491-us at a little table in the corner . The table cloth is cream and embroidered with the Italia Turrita . It ’s very pretty . ‘ [Luigi]_203-luigi , this is [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[202-jesse] [Jesse]_202-jesse introduces [us]_1491-us . [Luigi]_203-luigi bows at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Ah , a beautiful name for [a beautiful lady]_{3093-a beautiful lady} , yes ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m a bit embarrassed by [his]_202-jesse forwardness . ‘_[2342-matt] What would [Sir Jesse]_202-jesse like ? ’ ‘_[202-jesse] May [I]_2342-matt ? ’ [Jesse]_202-jesse asks , nodding at the menu . [He]_202-jesse ’s asking [me]_2342-matt ? ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt usually do . ’ [I]_203-luigi mutter . [His]_202-jesse eyebrow arches as [he]_202-jesse puffs [his]_202-jesse lips slightly , in a don’t - push - it gesture . [I]_203-luigi let [him]_202-jesse get on with it . [He]_202-jesse obviously knows what ’s good on the menu . ‘_[203-luigi] Okay , [Luigi]_203-luigi . [We]_1491-us ’ll have two of the fettuccine , with yellow squash , parmesan and lemon cream sauce , a bottle of [the Famiglia Anselma Barolo 2000]_{1493-the famiglia anselma barolo 2000} , and some water . [You]_2342-matt got that ? ’ [Luigi]_203-luigi scribbles frantically on [his]_202-jesse pad , backing away . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes , yes , [Sir Jesse]_202-jesse . [I]_2342-matt go now . ’ [Jesse]_202-jesse smiles fondly . ‘_[2342-matt] Thank [you]_202-jesse , [Luigi]_203-luigi . ’ [I]_203-luigi gaze around [the cluttered restaurant]_{3094-the cluttered restaurant} . ‘_[203-luigi] Now , this is what [you]_202-jesse call Italian shit . ’ [I]_203-luigi murmur thoughtfully . [I]_203-luigi find a smiling face around a chewed lip when [my]_203-luigi eyes reach [Jesse]_202-jesse . ‘_[203-luigi] [You]_202-jesse come here often ? ’ [I]_203-luigi ask . [His]_203-luigi smile broadens into knee trembling territory . ‘_[203-luigi] Are [you]_202-jesse trying to chat [me]_2342-matt up ? ’ ‘_[203-luigi] Of course , ’ [I]_89-mario smile as [he]_203-luigi shifts in [his]_203-luigi chair . ‘_[89-mario] [Mario]_89-mario , [the head barman at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor}]_{1494-the head barman at the manor} , insisted [I]_2342-matt try it , so [I]_2342-matt did . [Luigi]_203-luigi ’s [[his]_203-luigi brother]_{1496-his brother} . ’ ‘_[203-luigi] [Luigi]_203-luigi and [Mario]_89-mario ? ’ [I]_2342-matt snort , rather rudely . [Jesse]_202-jesse raises [his]_203-luigi eyebrows at [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry , that ’s really tickled [me]_2342-matt ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_{1496-his brother} can see that . ’_{[1496-his brother]} [He]_{1496-his brother} frowns as [Luigi]_203-luigi returns with the drinks . [Jesse]_202-jesse pours [me]_2342-matt some wine and [himself]_{1496-his brother} some water . ‘ [You]_203-luigi did n’t get a whole bottle for [me]_202-jesse ? ’_[202-jesse] [I]_2342-matt blurt . ‘ Are [you]_203-luigi not having any ? ’_[2342-matt] Christ , [I]_2342-matt ’ll be on [my]_2342-matt back . ‘ No , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] driving . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] And [I]_2342-matt ’m allowed ? ’_{[1496-his brother]} [His]_{1496-his brother} lips press into a straight line , but [I]_2342-matt can see [he]_{1496-his brother} ’s trying to suppress a smile at [my]_2342-matt cheekiness . ‘ [You]_203-luigi may . ’_{[1496-his brother]} [I]_2342-matt grin , picking up [my]_2342-matt glass and sipping carefully as [he]_{1496-his brother} watches [me]_2342-matt . It ’s lovely . As [I]_2342-matt look over the table at [the beautiful , neurotic man , who has fucked [my]_2342-matt plans right up]_{1497-the beautiful , neurotic man , who has fucked my plans right up} , [my]_2342-matt brain is suddenly bombarded with questions . ‘ [I]_2342-matt want to know how old [you]_203-luigi are . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt state confidently . This whole age thing is really quite stupid . [He]_{1496-his brother} circles the rim of [his]_{1496-his brother} glass with the tip of [his]_{1496-his brother} finger as [he]_{1496-his brother} watches [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Twenty eight . Tell [me]_{1496-his brother} about [[your]_203-luigi family]_{3095-your family} . ’_{[1496-his brother]} Huh ? Oh , no , no , no ! ‘ [I]_{1496-his brother} asked first . ’_{[1496-his brother]} ‘ And [I]_2342-matt answered . Tell [me]_2342-matt about [[your]_203-luigi family]_{3095-your family} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head in despair and resign [myself]_2342-matt to the fact that [I]_2342-matt ’m in love with [a man of an age [I]_2342-matt do n’t know and , quite possibly , never will do]_{3096-a man of an age i do n’t know and , quite possibly , never will do} . ‘_[2342-matt] [They]_1498-they retired to [Newquay]_19-newquay a few years back , ’ [I]_1498-they sigh , ‘_[1498-they] [Dad]_581-dad ran a construction firm , [Mum]_577-mum was [a house wife]_577-mum . [[My]_2342-matt Dad]_581-dad had a heart attack scare so [they]_1498-they took early retirement to [Cornwall]_18-cornwall . [[My]_2342-matt brother]_{2486-my brother} is living the dream in [Australia]_14-australia . ’ That ’s pretty much it in a nutshell . ‘_{[2486-my brother]} Why do [you]_1500-you not speak to [[your]_1500-you parents]_{2962-your parents} ? ’ [I]_{2486-my brother} ask . [I]_{2486-my brother} know [I]_{2486-my brother} ’m_{[2486-my brother]} on dodgy ground here , especially after [his]_{2486-my brother} last response to that very question . [I]_2342-matt watch carefully , almost apprehensively , for [his]_{2486-my brother} reaction . [I]_2342-matt ’m more than shocked when [he]_{2486-my brother} takes a sip of water , then launches into [his]_{2486-my brother} answer . ‘_[1498-they] [They]_1498-they live in [Marbella]_45-marbella . [[My]_2342-matt sister]_{1502-my sister} ’s there too . [I]_2342-matt ’ve not spoken to [them]_1498-they for years . [They]_1498-they did n’t approve when [Carmichael]_327-jesse left [me]_2342-matt [The Manor]_{3-the manor} and all of [[his]_327-jesse estate]_{3-the manor} . ’ Oh ? ‘_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse left it all to [you]_327-jesse ? ’ [I]_327-jesse can see why that might cause a family feud , especially if there ’s [a sister in the picture]_{3097-a sister in the picture} . ‘_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse did . [We]_1503-we were close , and [he]_327-jesse did n’t talk to [[my]_2342-matt parents]_{2490-my parents} . [They]_{2490-my parents} did n’t approve . ’ ‘_{[2490-my parents]} [They]_{2490-my parents} did n’t approve of [your]_327-jesse relationship ? ’ ‘_{[2490-my parents]} No , [they]_{2490-my parents} did n’t . ’ [He]_327-jesse starts chewing [his]_327-jesse lip . ‘_{[2490-my parents]} What was not to approve of ? ’ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] completely intrigued now . [He]_327-jesse sighs . ‘ As soon as [I]_327-jesse left [college]_343-college , [I]_327-jesse spent all of [my]_327-jesse time with [Carmichael]_327-jesse . [Mum]_577-mum , [Dad]_581-dad and [Amalie]_204-amalie moved to [Spain]_16-spain , and [I]_327-jesse refused to go . [I]_327-jesse was eighteen and having the time of [my]_327-jesse life . [I]_327-jesse stayed with [Carmichael]_327-jesse when [they]_3099-they left . [They]_3099-they were n’t happy about it . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse shrugs . ‘ Three years later , [Carmichael]_327-jesse died and [I]_327-jesse was left to run [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse tells the story with no emotion . [He]_327-jesse takes another swig of water . ‘ The relationship was strained after that . [They]_3099-they demanded [I]_72-jesus sell [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} but [I]_72-jesus could n’t . It was [[Carmichael]_327-jesse ’s baby]_327-jesse . ’_[72-jesus] [Christ]_72-jesus . [I]_2342-matt ’ve found out more about [this man]_327-jesse in five minutes than [I]_2342-matt have since [I]_2342-matt ’ve known [him]_327-jesse . Why is [he]_327-jesse so talkative tonight ? [I]_2342-matt decide to take advantage – [I]_2342-matt do n’t know when [I]_2342-matt ’ll get another chance . ‘ What do [you]_2342-matt do for fun ? ’_[327-jesse] [His]_327-jesse green eyes flash black and [he]_327-jesse grins wickedly . ‘ Fuck [you]_2342-matt . ’_[327-jesse] [My]_2342-matt eyes widen at [his]_327-jesse crass answer , and [I]_2342-matt cave on the inside . [He]_327-jesse sees [me]_2342-matt as [his]_327-jesse current fun ? Now [I]_2342-matt just feel shitty . [I]_2342-matt shift in [my]_2342-matt seat and break the eye connection , taking a sip of wine . [I]_2342-matt hate this regular plummeting feeling that [I]_2342-matt ’m getting of late . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] on [Central Jesse Cloud Nine]_{46-central jesse cloud nine} one moment , then one comment brings [me]_2342-matt crashing down to reality . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t cope with all these mixed signals . ‘ [You]_2342-matt like power in [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt state without a trace of a blush . [I]_2342-matt ’m proud of [myself]_2342-matt . [His]_327-jesse skill and influence on [my]_2342-matt entire being has [me]_2342-matt nervous . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do . ’ [His]_327-jesse face is completely impassive when [I]_2342-matt return [my]_2342-matt eyes to [his]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_1505-you a dominant ? ’ [I]_832-ava blurt , and then mentally stab [myself]_832-ava with the fancy , silver fork at [my]_832-ava place setting . Where did that come from ? [He]_327-jesse coughs , nearly spitting [his]_327-jesse water all over [me]_832-ava . Why did [I]_832-ava ask that for ? Placing [his]_327-jesse glass down , [he]_327-jesse picks up [his]_327-jesse cloth napkin to wipe [his]_327-jesse mouth as [he]_327-jesse shakes [his]_327-jesse head on a half - smile . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt do n’t need that sort of arrangement to get [a woman]_{395-a woman} to do what [I]_2342-matt want [her]_{395-a woman} to do in [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} . [I]_2342-matt have n’t got the time or inclination for crap like that . ’ [I]_2342-matt sag slightly . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_1508-you seem to be committing a lot of time to [me]_2342-matt . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt suppose [I]_2342-matt am . ’ [He]_{1509-that one} gazes past [me]_1508-you thoughtfully . ‘_[1508-you] [You]_1508-you ’re very controlling . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt state coolly , observing the swirling of [my]_2342-matt wine . [I]_2342-matt ’ll get [that one]_{1509-that one} out there too . ‘ Look at [me]_{1509-that one} . ’_{[1509-that one]} [he]_{1509-that one} demands softy , and like the slave to [him]_{1509-that one} that [I]_2342-matt am , [I]_2342-matt look . [His]_{1509-that one} green eyes have softened as [he]_{1509-that one} sits back , relaxed in [his]_{1509-that one} chair . ‘ Only with [you]_1508-you , ’_{[1509-that one]} ‘ Why ? ’_{[1509-that one]} ‘ [I]_{1509-that one} do n’t know . ’_{[1509-that one]} [He]_{1509-that one} has a quick chew of [his]_{1509-that one} lip . ‘ [You]_1508-you make [me]_{1509-that one} crazy . ’_{[1509-that one]} What ? Well , that clears things up no end . Does [he]_{1509-that one} think [I]_2342-matt need [some sort of father figure]_{1510-some sort of father figure} ? [I]_2342-matt ’m beyond confused . [I]_2342-matt sigh wearily into [my]_2342-matt wine glass . [I]_2342-matt make [him]_{1509-that one} crazy ? Right back attcha , [Ward]_327-jesse ! ‘_[2342-matt] Here ’s [your]_1511-your pasta . ’ [he]_{1509-that one} says . [I]_{1512-lovely people} look up and see [Luigi]_203-luigi singing as [he]_{1509-that one} approaches . [I]_{1512-lovely people} ’ve completely lost [my]_{1512-lovely people} appetite . ‘_{[1512-lovely people]} [Lovely people]_{1512-lovely people} , ’ [he]_{1509-that one} places two considerable bowls in front of [us]_3102-us . ‘_{[205-buon appetito]} [Buon appetito]_{205-buon appetito} ! ’ ‘_{[205-buon appetito]} Thank [you]_1511-your , [Luigi]_203-luigi . ’ [Jesse]_327-jesse smiles politely . [He]_327-jesse flicks [me]_203-luigi a questioning look , but [I]_203-luigi ignore it and smile [my]_203-luigi thanks at [Luigi]_203-luigi . [He]_327-jesse ’s just like [Mario]_89-mario . [I]_203-luigi stir the pasta with [my]_203-luigi fork , it smells heavenly , but [my]_203-luigi stomach is now a knot of confusion . [I]_203-luigi play with it for a few moments , then try a bit . ‘_[203-luigi] Good ? ’ [Jesse]_327-jesse asks . [I]_203-luigi nod lamely , even though it is very good . [We]_3103-we eat in silence for a while , occasionally tossing stares at each other . The food is wonderful , and [I]_203-luigi ’m_[203-luigi] feeling guilty for not enjoying it as much as it deserves . ‘ When did [you]_3104-you buy [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [He]_2342-matt pauses with [his]_2342-matt fork half way to [his]_2342-matt mouth . ‘ March . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt answers , taking [his]_2342-matt last mouthful of food and pushing [his]_2342-matt bowl away before picking up [his]_2342-matt water . ‘ [You]_3104-you never told [me]_2342-matt why [you]_3104-you requested [me]_2342-matt personally to work on the extension of [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt give up on [my]_2342-matt pasta , pushing it away . [Jesse]_327-jesse looks at the half eaten dish and returns [his]_327-jesse eyes to [mine]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_327-jesse brought [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} and loved what [you]_3104-you did with it . [I]_327-jesse can assure [you]_3104-you , [I]_327-jesse did n’t expect [you]_3104-you to come rocking up , with [your]_3104-you perfect figure , olive skin and big brown eyes . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse shakes [his]_327-jesse head , as if shaking off the memory . [I]_2342-matt feel somewhat better knowing [he]_327-jesse was as shocked to see [me]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt was to see [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt scoff . ‘ [You]_3104-you were n’t exactly [the Lord of [the Manor]_{2356-the manor} [I]_2342-matt was expecting]_{3108-the lord of the manor i was expecting} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do [my]_2342-matt own little shudder when [I]_2342-matt recall the affect [he]_327-jesse had on [me]_2342-matt ; the affect [he]_327-jesse still has on [me]_2342-matt . ‘ How did [you]_3104-you know where [I]_327-jesse was on that Monday lunchtime when [I]_327-jesse bumped into [you]_3104-you at [the bar]_{361-the bar} ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse shrugs . ‘ [Lucky]_206-lucky guess , ’_[327-jesse] ‘ Of course , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scoff . Followed [me]_2342-matt , more like . [I]_2342-matt look up and see a smile tickling the edge of [his]_327-jesse luscious lips . ‘ [I]_2342-matt could n’t think of anything else after [you]_3104-you left [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ So [you]_3104-you pursued [me]_2342-matt relentlessly . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt retort quietly . ‘ [I]_2342-matt had to have [you]_3104-you . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ And now [you]_3104-you have . Do [you]_3104-you always take what [you]_3104-you want ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse watches [me]_2342-matt across the table , [his]_327-jesse face completely straight as [he]_327-jesse leans forward . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ca n’t answer that , [Ava]_832-ava , because [I]_327-jesse ’ve never wanted anything enough to pursue it so relentlessly . Not like [I]_327-jesse wanted [you]_327-jesse . [I]_327-jesse notice [he]_327-jesse uses past tense . ‘_[327-jesse] Do [you]_327-jesse still ? ’ [He]_327-jesse sits back in [his]_327-jesse chair and studies [me]_327-jesse , stroking [his]_327-jesse glass of water . ‘_[327-jesse] More than anything , ’ A little gush of air escapes [my]_327-jesse mouth . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] not sure if it ’s relief or desire . [I]_2342-matt know nothing anymore . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] [yours]_327-jesse . ’ [I]_832-ava say resolutely . That ’s it . [I]_832-ava ’ve just thrown [my]_832-ava heart on the table for [this man]_327-jesse . [His]_327-jesse tongue slowly sweeps across [his]_327-jesse bottom lip . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [you]_327-jesse ’ve been [mine]_327-jesse since [you]_327-jesse turned up at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Have [I]_2342-matt ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Yes . Will [you]_327-jesse spend the night with [me]_2342-matt ? ’ ‘_[327-jesse] Are [you]_327-jesse asking or demanding ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m asking , but if [you]_327-jesse give [me]_2342-matt the wrong answer , then [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sure [I]_2342-matt can think of something to change [your]_327-jesse mind . ’ [He]_327-jesse smiles slightly . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll spend the night with [you]_327-jesse . ’ [He]_327-jesse nods in approval . ‘_[2342-matt] Tomorrow night ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Yes . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Take the day off . ’ [he]_327-jesse demands . ‘_[2342-matt] No . ’ [His]_327-jesse eyes narrow . ‘_[2342-matt] What about Friday evening ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve arranged to go out with [Kate]_2557-kate on Friday night . ’ [I]_2342-matt inform [him]_327-jesse , resisting the temptation to reach up and twiddle [my]_2342-matt hair . [He]_327-jesse ca n’t assume [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] there at [his]_2342-matt demand . [I]_2342-matt hope [she]_2557-kate ’s free . [His]_2342-matt narrowed eyes instantly darken . ‘ [Cancel]_207-cancel . ’_[2342-matt] Now , this is something [I]_2342-matt do need to clear up , pronto – [his]_2342-matt neurotic unreasonableness . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going out to have a few drinks . [You]_1514-you ca n’t stop [me]_2342-matt from seeing [[my]_2342-matt friends]_{1515-my friends} , [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’ ‘_[327-jesse] How many is a few drinks ? ’ [I]_2342-matt can feel [my]_2342-matt brow knitting . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . That depends on how [I]_2342-matt feel . ’ [I]_2342-matt look at [him]_327-jesse accusingly . [I]_2342-matt suspect [I]_2342-matt might be gagging by Friday if [he]_327-jesse keeps up with [his]_327-jesse crazy behaviour . [He]_327-jesse ’s giving [me]_2342-matt brain ache as well as body ache . [He]_327-jesse starts chewing [his]_327-jesse bottom lip again , and [I]_2342-matt can see the cogs of [his]_327-jesse mind going into overdrive . [He]_327-jesse ’s trying to work out how [he]_327-jesse ’s going to get around this . [I]_2342-matt have n’t done [myself]_2342-matt any favours by getting in such a state last Saturday . That was [his]_327-jesse fault . Should [I]_2342-matt tell [him]_327-jesse that ? ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t want [you]_1516-you out drinking without [me]_2342-matt . ’ [he]_2342-matt says firmly . ‘_[2342-matt] Well , that ’s a bit of bad luck , is n’t it ? ’ [God]_68-god , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] being rather brave . What percentage is this wine ? ‘ [We]_1517-we ’ll see . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt muses to [himself]_2342-matt . [We]_1517-we sit quietly , looking at each other across the table , [him]_2342-matt scowling , [me]_2342-matt hiding a small smile . After a few moments , [he]_2342-matt leans back casually in [his]_2342-matt chair at a slight angle , [his]_2342-matt eyes rapt with intention . [I]_2342-matt do n’t shy away from [his]_2342-matt concentrated stare . [I]_2342-matt meet it with equal intent , in a barefaced come on . [I]_2342-matt want [him]_2342-matt desperately , despite [his]_2342-matt challenging ways . [Luigi]_203-luigi comes over and clears [our]_1517-we plates , intruding on [our]_1517-we moment . ‘ [You]_203-luigi like ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt sings . [Jesse]_327-jesse does n’t fracture the connection . ‘ Great , [Luigi]_203-luigi . Thank [you]_203-luigi . ’_[327-jesse] [His]_2342-matt voice is throaty and [he]_2342-matt ’s tapping the table with [his]_2342-matt middle finger . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_2342-matt leg brush against [mine]_2342-matt , and that ’s all it takes to hitch [my]_2342-matt breath up several notches and spring [my]_2342-matt nerve endings to life . [I]_2342-matt ’m blazing from head to toe ... and [he]_2342-matt knows it . ‘_[203-luigi] The bill , please , [Luigi]_203-luigi . ’ [he]_2342-matt demands , [his]_2342-matt friendly tone altering into one of urgency . [Luigi]_203-luigi seems to get the message because [he]_203-luigi does n’t offer [us]_1518-we the dessert menu . [He]_203-luigi just scuttles off , returning , almost immediately , carrying a black plate filled with mints and a piece of paper . Without looking at the bill , [Jesse]_327-jesse stands and pulls a wad of notes from [his]_327-jesse jean pocket , slapping some down on the table . [He]_327-jesse reaches over and seizes [my]_1518-we hand . ‘_[1518-we] [We]_1518-we ’re going . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m hauled from [my]_2342-matt chair , leaving [me]_2342-matt to grab [my]_2342-matt bag and throw [my]_2342-matt napkin on the table as [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] rushed to the door . ‘ Are [you]_3112-you in a hurry ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask as [I]_2342-matt ’m guided to [the car]_{548-the car} by [my]_2342-matt elbow . [He]_2342-matt makes no attempt to slow down . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes . ’ When [we]_1518-we reach [the car]_{548-the car} , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] whirled around and shoved up against the door . [His]_2342-matt forehead meets [mine]_2342-matt , [our]_1518-we heavy breaths merging together in the small space between [our]_1518-we mouths . [His]_2342-matt erection is painfully hard against [my]_2342-matt lower stomach . Oh God , [I]_2342-matt want [him]_2342-matt to take [me]_2342-matt here and now . Damn [anyone who wants to watch]_{1519-anyone who wants to watch} . ‘ [I]_1520-you ’m_[1520-you] going to fuck [you]_1520-you until [you]_1520-you ’re seeing stars , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt voice is harsh as [he]_2342-matt grinds [his]_2342-matt hips against [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt whimper . ‘ [You]_1520-you wo n’t be going to work tomorrow because [you]_1520-you wo n’t be able to walk . Get in [the car]_{548-the car} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt would , but [I]_2342-matt already ca n’t walk . [Suspense]_208-suspense has rendered [me]_2342-matt immobile . After a few seconds have passed and [I]_2342-matt ’ve still not convinced [my]_2342-matt legs to shift , [he]_2342-matt pulls [me]_2342-matt out of the way , opens the door and gently shoves [me]_2342-matt into [the passenger seat]_{548-the car} . Chapter 25 [Our]_1522-our journey back to [Lusso]_66-lusso is the longest [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever endured . The sexual tension bouncing around in [[his]_2342-matt car]_{548-the car} is excruciating , and [Jesse]_327-jesse is almost violent when [he]_327-jesse gets stuck behind [a Sunday driver]_{1524-a sunday driver} . ‘ [Some people]_{472-some people} should n’t be allowed on [the fucking road]_{3115-the fucking road} . MOVE ! ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse performs a highly illegal manoeuvre , overtaking [the car]_{548-the car} on [a single carriageway]_{1525-a single carriageway} . [He]_327-jesse frequently adjusts [his]_327-jesse groin area , and in the dim light of [the DBS]_{43-the dbs} , [I]_2342-matt see a shimmer of sweat across [his]_327-jesse brow . Oh , [he]_327-jesse ’s [a man on a mission]_{1526-a man on a mission} . [He]_327-jesse skids to a halt outside [the electronic gates of [Lusso]_66-lusso]_{1527-the electronic gates of lusso} and presses a remote to open [them]_{1527-the electronic gates of lusso} , [his]_327-jesse hand drumming on the steering wheel as [he]_327-jesse waits impatiently for [them]_{1527-the electronic gates of lusso} to shift . [I]_2342-matt smile . ‘ [You]_832-ava ’re_[2342-matt] going to have a seizure if [you]_1528-you do n’t calm down . ’ [He]_327-jesse pauses with the drumming and looks at [me]_832-ava , all smoky . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt ’ve had a fucking seizure every day since [I]_2342-matt met [you]_832-ava . ’ ‘_[832-ava] [You]_832-ava ’re swearing a lot . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt muse as the gates open and [he]_327-jesse pulls into [the car park]_{1529-the car park} , fast and carelessly . ‘ And [you]_832-ava ’re_[327-jesse] going to be screaming a lot , ’ There is no humour in [his]_327-jesse tone . ‘_[327-jesse] Out . ’ [he]_327-jesse orders . [I]_327-jesse ’ve no doubt [I]_327-jesse will be , but [I]_327-jesse do love it when [he]_327-jesse ’s in these frenzies . [I]_327-jesse take [my]_327-jesse time getting out of [the car]_{548-the car} , and when [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] finally vertical , [I]_2342-matt glance up and find [he]_327-jesse ’s stood in front of [me]_2342-matt , with a very irked look on [his]_327-jesse face . ‘ What are [you]_327-jesse doing ? ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse asks incredulously at [my]_2342-matt leisurely pace . [I]_2342-matt gaze around at the black night - time sky and down to [the docks]_{2630-the docks} . ‘ Do [you]_327-jesse fancy a walk ? ’_[327-jesse] [His]_327-jesse mouth drops open . ‘ Do [I]_327-jesse fancy a walk ? ’_[327-jesse] ‘ Yes , it ’s a lovely evening . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt return [my]_2342-matt gaze to [him]_327-jesse , doing a rubbish job of hiding [my]_2342-matt smug smile . ‘ No , [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_327-jesse fancy fucking [you]_832-ava until [you]_832-ava beg [me]_327-jesse to stop . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse bends , grabs [me]_2342-matt around the back of [my]_2342-matt thighs and hoists [me]_2342-matt over [his]_327-jesse shoulder , kicking shut the door of [[his]_327-jesse ridiculously expensive car]_{1531-his ridiculously expensive car} . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse ! ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt stomach catapults into [my]_2342-matt mouth at the swift movement . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’ll walk ! ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse starts striding into [the foyer of [Lusso]_66-lusso]_{1251-the foyer of lusso} . ‘ Not fast enough . Good evening , [Clive]_101-clive . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt brace [my]_2342-matt hands on [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s lower back , craning [my]_2342-matt head up to find [Clive]_101-clive observing [me]_2342-matt draped over [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s shoulder . What must [he]_327-jesse think of [me]_2342-matt ? The last time [I]_2342-matt entered [Lusso]_66-lusso [I]_2342-matt was being carried too . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not drunk ! ’ [I]_2342-matt yell , watching [Clive]_101-clive disappear from sight as [Jesse]_327-jesse carries [me]_2342-matt into [the elevator]_{780-the elevator} and punches the code in harshly . In [my]_2342-matt sassy state , [I]_2342-matt slide [my]_2342-matt hands beneath [his]_327-jesse jeans , onto [his]_327-jesse fantastic , tight arse , to feel the tense and swell of [his]_327-jesse muscles and smooth , warm skin as [he]_327-jesse strides out of the lift . ‘_[2342-matt] No fucking about . [I]_2342-matt want inside [you]_65-ha now . [You]_65-ha fuck about , [I]_2342-matt swear to [God]_68-god ... ’ [He]_65-ha ’s deadly serious . ‘_[65-ha] [You]_65-ha ’re so romantic . ’_[65-ha] ‘ [We]_1534-we ’ve got all the time in [the world]_{516-the world} for romance , [lady]_65-ha . ’_[1534-we] Have [we]_1534-we ? [He]_65-ha barges into [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} , slamming the door behind [him]_65-ha . [I]_2342-matt ’m a touch disorientated when [he]_65-ha lowers [me]_65-ha to [my]_65-ha feet in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . [I]_65-ha stand before [him]_65-ha , [my]_65-ha hands resting on [his]_65-ha shoulders , trying to get [my]_65-ha bearings . ‘_[65-ha] [You]_65-ha know , [you]_65-ha ’re really not going to be in a fit state to work tomorrow . ’_[65-ha] [His]_65-ha hot breath is leaving condensation on [my]_2342-matt face . ‘ [Strip]_210-strip , now . ’_[65-ha] [I]_2342-matt ’m shaking – visibly shaking . [I]_2342-matt demand [my]_2342-matt hands to remove [themselves]_{3120-themselves} from [his]_65-ha shoulders , but [they]_{3120-themselves} ’re_[2342-matt] having none of it . [I]_2342-matt try to pull [myself]_2342-matt together , but it ’s impossible when [he]_65-ha ’s looking at [me]_2342-matt like that . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_65-ha hands lay over [mine]_2342-matt and peel them away from [his]_65-ha shoulders . [He]_65-ha places them on [my]_2342-matt stomach . ‘ Start with the shirt . ’_[65-ha] [His]_65-ha voice is throaty , tinged with a bit of desperation . [I]_2342-matt can do this ; [I]_2342-matt can be audacious . ‘ So , am [I]_2342-matt in charge ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask , inwardly bracing [myself]_2342-matt for [his]_65-ha scoff . It does n’t come . [He]_65-ha looks at [me]_2342-matt , the slight surprise at [my]_2342-matt question clear , but [he]_65-ha does n’t laugh . [He]_65-ha ca n’t be in control all of the time . ‘ If it makes [you]_3121-you happy , ’_[65-ha] [He]_65-ha unclasps [his]_65-ha Rolex and slides it onto [the island]_{2653-the island} . Oh , it does . [I]_2342-matt give [myself]_2342-matt a mental pep talk . [I]_2342-matt can do this , [I]_2342-matt can do this . [I]_2342-matt take a deep breath and , staring [him]_65-ha boldly in the eye , raise [my]_2342-matt hands to [my]_2342-matt top button , willing [my]_2342-matt fingers to co - operate . Every button [I]_2342-matt undo , [his]_65-ha face strains harder , and [I]_2342-matt become bolder . If this is n’t fucking about , then [I]_2342-matt do n’t know what is . [I]_2342-matt release [my]_2342-matt shirt , letting it hang open , and watch as [he]_65-ha scrapes [his]_65-ha eyes down [my]_2342-matt torso , [his]_65-ha tongue running across [his]_65-ha parted bottom lip . Liking this response [I]_2342-matt ’m getting , [I]_2342-matt take [my]_2342-matt hands to [my]_2342-matt shoulders and pull [my]_2342-matt shirt away , accentuating the slow push forward of [my]_2342-matt breasts when [I]_2342-matt lower it down [my]_2342-matt arms . Like the wanton sex fiend that [I]_2342-matt am , [I]_2342-matt hold it out to [my]_2342-matt side for a few seconds while [his]_65-ha eyes travel back up [my]_2342-matt body . Then , when [our]_3122-our eyes meet again , [I]_2342-matt dramatically open [my]_2342-matt palm and let it fall to the floor , leaving [my]_2342-matt arm outstretched and hovering at [my]_2342-matt side for a few seconds . [His]_65-ha eyes are blazing , [his]_65-ha forehead damp . Oh , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] really doing this well . ‘ [I]_1537-his love [you]_1537-his in lace . ’_[1537-his] [he]_1537-his whispers . [I]_2342-matt smile . [I]_2342-matt ’m really into [my]_2342-matt stride now . [I]_2342-matt lower [my]_2342-matt steady hands to the fly of [my]_2342-matt trousers and lazily undo one button at a time as [he]_1537-his watches . [His]_1537-his panting is increasing by the second , and the drain on [his]_1537-his self - control has [him]_1537-his chewing [his]_1537-his lip to the point of drawing blood . Once all the buttons are undone and [my]_2342-matt trousers are gaping open , [I]_2342-matt stand with [my]_2342-matt hands tucked in the front , ready to drag [them]_3123-them down [my]_2342-matt legs , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] too enthralled by [his]_1537-his reaction to [my]_2342-matt shameless strip . [I]_2342-matt like this role reversal . [He]_1537-his looks up at [me]_2342-matt , [his]_1537-his eyes blazing and desperate . ‘ [I]_1537-his could rip them off in two seconds flat . ’_[1537-his] ‘ But [you]_1538-you wo n’t . ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt voice is husky and alluring . [I]_2342-matt ’m stunned by [my]_1538-you own brashness . ‘_[1538-you] [You]_1538-you ’ll wait . ’ [I]_1538-you kick [my]_1538-you shoes off , sending them flying a few yards across [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . [He]_1537-his follows [their]_3125-their course before looking back at [me]_1538-you with raised eyebrows . ‘_[1538-you] Taking this a bit far , are n’t [you]_1538-you ? ’ [I]_{0-the one} smile sweetly as little by little , inch by inch , [I]_{0-the one} slide [my]_{0-the one} capri pants down [my]_{0-the one} legs and kick them off . [I]_{0-the one} ’m_{[0-the one]} stood in [my]_2342-matt coral lace underwear before [this glorious man]_{0-the one} , and [I]_2342-matt ’ve lost all [my]_2342-matt inhibitions . It ’s an eye - opener . Who would have thought [I]_2342-matt could be so brash ? [I]_2342-matt like being in charge ! [He]_{0-the one} lifts [his]_{0-the one} hand to stroke [my]_2342-matt chest . ‘ No . ’_{[0-the one]} [I]_2342-matt utter firmly , [his]_{0-the one} hand floating over [my]_2342-matt breast bone . It ’s not touching [me]_2342-matt , but the heat emanating from it has [me]_2342-matt nearly hyperventilating . Here ’s [me]_2342-matt telling [him]_{0-the one} to wait , and [I]_2342-matt ’m as desperate as [he]_{0-the one} is . [My]_1540-you self - control is wavering , but [I]_1540-you really love this power . ‘_[1540-you] Fuck [you]_1540-you . ’ [he]_{0-the one} mumbles , dropping [his]_{0-the one} hand . ‘_[1540-you] Please do . ’ [He]_{0-the one} smirks . ‘_[1540-you] Beg . ’ Beg ? How did this turn around so quickly ? [I]_2342-matt do n’t think so . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt would rather go without . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Leave [your]_1540-you hair alone , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [His]_{0-the one} eyes darken further . [I]_1540-you drop [my]_1540-you hair , while [he]_{0-the one} drops [his]_{0-the one} eyes . ‘_[1540-you] [You]_1540-you ’re still wearing [your]_1540-you underwear . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt glance down . ‘ What are going to do about that ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to do nothing , ’ [he]_{0-the one} shrugs . ‘_[2342-matt] Unless [you]_1540-you beg , ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t think so . ’ [I]_2342-matt say coolly . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not backing down . ‘ [We]_3126-we might be here a while then . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [We]_3126-we might . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt agree . ‘ Maybe longer than Friday , ’_{[74-a god]} [He]_{74-a god} ’s pokerfaced . Oh , the sly sod ! [He]_{74-a god} just ca n’t let it drop , can [he]_{74-a god} ? [I]_2342-matt narrow [my]_2342-matt eyes at [him]_{74-a god} as [he]_{74-a god} raises [his]_{74-a god} eyebrows at [me]_2342-matt . So , [we]_1542-we ’re in a stand - off , [neither one of [us]_1542-we]_{3127-neither one of us} wanting to make the first move . [He]_{74-a god} should ! [He]_{74-a god} ’s [the one who declared [he]_{74-a god} wanted no fucking about , so help [him]_{74-a god} God]_{74-a god} … What to do ? What to do ? And then it comes to [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t fuck about . [I]_2342-matt have work tomorrow . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt turn to leave , hearing that familiar growl [I]_2342-matt love so much , [his]_{74-a god} arm scooping around [my]_2342-matt waist and lifting [me]_2342-matt from [my]_2342-matt feet . [I]_2342-matt crumble in half over [his]_{74-a god} forearm . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help it ... [I]_2342-matt laugh . [He]_{74-a god} paces towards [the kitchen island]_{1543-the kitchen island} and flips [me]_2342-matt around , sitting [me]_2342-matt on [the cold granite]_{1544-the cold granite} . [His]_{74-a god} eyes are full of displeasure at [my]_2342-matt little joke . ‘ When will [you]_{74-a god} fucking listen , [lady]_{74-a god} ? [You]_{74-a god} ’re_{[74-a god]} not going anywhere , ’ [He]_{74-a god} nudges [my]_{74-a god} thighs apart , edging between [them]_3128-them with [his]_{74-a god} hands on [my]_{74-a god} waist , [his]_{74-a god} face deadly serious . [I]_{74-a god} ’m_{[74-a god]} still recovering from [my]_2342-matt laughing fit , but it soon subsides when [he]_{74-a god} pulls [me]_2342-matt forward to meet [his]_{74-a god} groin , [his]_{74-a god} erection rubbing [me]_2342-matt in just the right spot . [I]_2342-matt moan , placing [my]_2342-matt hands around [his]_{74-a god} neck . ‘ And watch [your]_{74-a god} mouth . ’_{[74-a god]} [he]_{74-a god} grumbles , [his]_{74-a god} concentration slash concern frown , not so light on [his]_{74-a god} forehead . It ’s concern this time . Is [he]_{74-a god} really serious about [me]_2342-matt never going anywhere ? What ? Ever ? ‘ [I]_{74-a god} ’m_{[74-a god]} sorry . ’ [I]_1545-i say genuinely . [I]_1545-i should n’t play with [him]_{74-a god} like that . It ’s obvious [he]_{74-a god} has issues with non - conformity . ‘_[1545-i] [You]_1545-i really know how to rub [me]_2342-matt up the wrong way , ’ [he]_{74-a god} mutters . ‘_[1545-i] [We]_1546-my do things [my]_2342-matt way from now on . ’ ‘_[1546-my] [We]_1546-my always do things [your]_1545-i way . ’ [I]_1546-my sulk on a pout . ‘_[1546-my] Correct . Get use to it . ’ [He]_{74-a god} stands before [me]_1546-my , pulling [his]_{74-a god} jumper up over [his]_{74-a god} head , kicking [his]_{74-a god} Grensons off , before making quick work of [his]_{74-a god} jeans and boxers . [I]_1546-my sit patiently , more than happy to watch [him]_{74-a god} undress . [This man]_{74-a god} is [a God]_{74-a god} . [I]_1546-my drag [my]_1546-my eyes down the full loveliness of [him]_{74-a god} , briefly faltering on [his]_{74-a god} scar and settling on [his]_{74-a god} thick , pulsing erection . ‘_[1546-my] It ’s rude to stare . ’ [he]_{74-a god} says softly . [My]_1546-my eyes jump to [his]_{74-a god} , uncertain as to whether [he]_{74-a god} ’s referring to [me]_1546-my looking at [his]_{74-a god} scar or [[his]_{74-a god} beautiful manhood]_{3129-his beautiful manhood} . [He]_{74-a god} does n’t elaborate . [He]_{74-a god} moves back into [me]_1546-my , reaching around [my]_1546-my back to unhook [my]_1546-my bra , slowly drawing it down [my]_1546-my arms and tossing it behind [him]_{74-a god} . Resting [his]_{74-a god} hands on the edge of the worktop , [he]_{74-a god} watches [me]_1546-my as [he]_{74-a god} leans down and takes a nipple in [his]_{74-a god} mouth , slowly swirling and flicking it with [his]_{74-a god} tongue . In pure , unashamed bliss , [I]_1546-my sigh , reaching up to lace [my]_1546-my fingers in [his]_{74-a god} hair as [he]_{74-a god} divides [his]_{74-a god} attention between each of [my]_1546-my breasts . [My]_1546-my head falls back and [I]_1546-my close [my]_1546-my eyes , absorbing [his]_{74-a god} attentive mouth . [I]_1546-my really do n’t mind letting [him]_{74-a god} take control . In fact , [I]_1546-my love it . [His]_{74-a god} tongue starts a lazy trail up the centre of [my]_1546-my body , finishing with a soft kiss on [my]_1546-my chin . ‘_[1546-my] Lift . ’ [he]_2342-matt commands , grasping [my]_2342-matt knickers . [I]_2342-matt brace [myself]_2342-matt up on the worktop , letting [him]_2342-matt pull them down [my]_2342-matt legs . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll be back . [I]_2342-matt ’m a bit peckish . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt reluctantly release [his]_2342-matt hair and [he]_2342-matt wanders , boldly and with poise , over to the fridge - freezer , completely butt naked . [I]_2342-matt sit rapt by the tremendous view of [his]_2342-matt impossibly taut arse , long , lean legs and powerful , smooth back . [His]_2342-matt gait is all the better when [he]_2342-matt ’s naked . ‘ Enjoying the scenery ? ’_[2342-matt] Looking up , [I]_2342-matt see [him]_2342-matt stood watching [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know how long [I]_2342-matt was daydreaming . [I]_2342-matt could watch [him]_2342-matt forever . [He]_2342-matt holds up a can of squirty cream , grinning , before taking the lid off , giving it a little shake and squirting some in [his]_2342-matt mouth . [I]_2342-matt watch [him]_2342-matt carefully . [He]_2342-matt looks very pleased with [himself]_2342-matt . ‘ And that ’s a staple food in [your]_3130-your world ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [He]_2342-matt saunters back towards [me]_2342-matt , shaking the can . ‘ Absolutely , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says seriously , replacing [himself]_2342-matt between [my]_2342-matt legs , nudging [my]_2342-matt chin upwards with the tip of [his]_2342-matt finger . ‘ Open . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt open [my]_2342-matt mouth , and [he]_2342-matt rests the funnel on [my]_2342-matt tongue , watching [me]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt presses the notch , releasing a blob of cream into [my]_2342-matt mouth . [I]_2342-matt lick [my]_2342-matt lips , the cream disintegrating in [my]_2342-matt mouth instantly . [I]_2342-matt place [my]_2342-matt hands behind [me]_2342-matt and lean back as [he]_2342-matt runs [his]_2342-matt eyes down [my]_2342-matt front . ‘ Do [your]_2342-matt worst , [Mr Ward]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt tease . [His]_2342-matt eyes sparkle and [he]_2342-matt grins that roguish grin . ‘ This might be a little cold . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt warns , as [he]_2342-matt squirts a long trail straight down [my]_2342-matt middle . [I]_2342-matt inhale quickly at the initial shock of the freezing cold cream , running from the hollow of [my]_2342-matt throat , all the way down to the juncture of [my]_2342-matt thighs . [He]_2342-matt smirks , squirting a little extra where it counts . [I]_2342-matt look down at the long path of white puffs , feeling [my]_2342-matt nipples pucker tighter at the chilliness close by . [He]_2342-matt stands back , [his]_2342-matt eyes dancing with delight . ‘ It ’s a bit if a cliché , is n’t it ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look at [his]_2342-matt satisfied face . [He]_2342-matt squirts some in [his]_2342-matt own mouth . ‘ The old ones are the best . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt starts walking away again . Where ’s [he]_2342-matt going ? [I]_2342-matt sit on the breakfast bar coated in cream , watching as [he]_2342-matt rifles through cupboards . ‘ Here it is . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt declares . Here ’s what ? [He]_2342-matt opens a drawer , pulls out a spatula and walks back over , tapping a jar of chocolate spread mischievously . As [he]_2342-matt arrives back between [my]_2342-matt legs , [he]_2342-matt unscrews the lid and tosses it on the marble counter . [I]_2342-matt arch a brow at [him]_2342-matt , questioningly , even though [I]_2342-matt know damn well what [his]_2342-matt intent is . [He]_2342-matt twirls the spatula in the jar , scoops out a big dollop and abruptly slaps it onto [my]_2342-matt breast . ‘ Ouch ! ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt boob stings from the smack . [He]_2342-matt smirks as [he]_2342-matt starts circling the chocolate around [my]_2342-matt nipple , the sting mixed with the rhythmic swirls having [me]_2342-matt purring deep in [my]_2342-matt throat . [His]_2342-matt frown line makes its appearance as [he]_2342-matt begins to chew [his]_2342-matt lip , working the chocolate spread all the way up [my]_2342-matt body on both sides of the cream , swirling and smearing as [he]_2342-matt goes . When the jar is completely empty and [he]_2342-matt ’s satisfied [he]_2342-matt covered every part or [my]_2342-matt torso , [he]_2342-matt puts [his]_2342-matt instruments down and stands back to admire [his]_2342-matt handiwork . The smile that spans [his]_2342-matt handsome face makes [me]_2342-matt want to dive on [him]_2342-matt and tackle [him]_2342-matt to the floor . [He]_2342-matt looks thoroughly thrilled with [himself]_2342-matt . ‘ [My]_2342-matt very own [Ava]_832-ava éclair . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt declares , licking [his]_2342-matt lips . [I]_2342-matt look down at [my]_2342-matt coated body and back up to [his]_2342-matt dancing eyes . ‘ [I]_2342-matt guess , now [you]_2342-matt ’ve had [your]_2342-matt fun , [I]_2342-matt should go take a shower . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt make to move and [he]_2342-matt ’s on [me]_2342-matt in a flash , grasping [me]_2342-matt in [his]_2342-matt arms as [I]_2342-matt knew [he]_2342-matt would be . [I]_2342-matt ’m locked to [his]_2342-matt chest , sliding all over [the place]_{308-the place} . [I]_2342-matt give a little shimmy on a laugh , just to rub it in . And not in a smug way . ‘_[2342-matt] Sneak . ’ [he]_2342-matt mutters , pulling away , the chocolate and cream stringing between [our]_3132-our bodies . [He]_2342-matt takes [my]_2342-matt hands , gently pushing [me]_2342-matt back until [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] flat on [my]_2342-matt back and looking up at [him]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ve not even started with the fun part , [lady]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt grin . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] filthy . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , [I]_2342-matt love that grin . [You]_1547-my wo n’t be filthy for long . ’ [He]_2342-matt leans over [me]_1547-my , rubbing [his]_2342-matt erection against [my]_1547-my core , scooping a trail of chocolate from [my]_1547-my nipple with [his]_2342-matt index finger and keeping [his]_2342-matt eyes firmly on [mine]_1547-my as [he]_2342-matt slides it between [his]_2342-matt lips and licks it off in the most spectacular fashion . ‘_[1547-my] Hmmm , chocolate , cream and sweat . ’ [he]_2342-matt says hoarsely . [I]_1547-my shudder under [his]_2342-matt piercing eyes , the light throb of [my]_1547-my sex kicking in to high gear , as [I]_1547-my writhe on the bar under [his]_2342-matt intoxicating stare . [I]_1547-my reach up to pull [him]_2342-matt down onto [me]_1547-my . [I]_1547-my need contact . [He]_2342-matt lets [me]_1547-my take [him]_2342-matt , dropping [his]_2342-matt lips to [mine]_1547-my and resting [his]_2342-matt chest on [me]_1547-my so [we]_3133-we slip and slide all over again . The warmness of [his]_2342-matt body all over [mine]_1547-my catapults [me]_1547-my straight to [Central Jesse Cloud Nine]_{46-central jesse cloud nine} . [I]_1547-my gently coax [his]_2342-matt tongue from [his]_2342-matt mouth with small butterfly flicks , smiling against [his]_2342-matt lips as [he]_2342-matt moans deep in [his]_2342-matt throat . [His]_2342-matt arm snakes under [my]_1547-my lower back and tugs [me]_1547-my up from the counter , supporting [me]_1547-my as [he]_2342-matt suspends [me]_1547-my and claims [my]_1547-my mouth . [My]_1547-my arms remain around [his]_2342-matt neck , working [my]_1547-my fingers through [his]_2342-matt hair as [he]_2342-matt continues to ravish [me]_1547-my , and [I]_1547-my continue to writhe . Straying away from [my]_1547-my lips , [he]_2342-matt begins kissing [his]_2342-matt way up [my]_1547-my cheek to [my]_1547-my ear , making a point of grinding [his]_2342-matt ever loving hips against [me]_1547-my , instigating the familiar heaviness to weigh down in [my]_1547-my groin . [I]_1547-my moan , long and low , as [my]_1547-my fingers curl tightly in [his]_2342-matt hair and [he]_2342-matt bites [my]_1547-my lobe , slowly dragging it through [his]_2342-matt teeth . Oh hell , [I]_1547-my ’m_[1547-my] soaring on pleasure here . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt pant , arching [myself]_2342-matt into [him]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt know . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt hums against [my]_2342-matt ear . ‘ [You]_2342-matt want [me]_2342-matt to take care of it ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt cry . [He]_2342-matt drops a tender kiss on the hollow of [my]_2342-matt ear , easing [me]_2342-matt down onto [my]_2342-matt back . With [his]_2342-matt upper body braced on one arm at the side of [me]_2342-matt , [he]_2342-matt gently brushes the hair from [my]_2342-matt face . [I]_2342-matt watch as [he]_2342-matt studies [me]_2342-matt thoughtfully , [his]_2342-matt green pools swimming , the cogs of [his]_2342-matt mind turning . ‘ Everything is so much more bearable with [you]_2342-matt around , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says softly , [his]_2342-matt eyes searching [mine]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt absorb [his]_2342-matt words , completely stunned by [his]_2342-matt confession . What ’s more bearable ? [I]_2342-matt ca n’t cope with the vagueness of this statement , especially not now . There is more than meets the eye with [this man]_2342-matt – not just confident and wealthy , possessive and gentle , controlling and dominate . [I]_2342-matt could go on forever . But there ’s more . [I]_2342-matt gaze up at [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt want to ask questions , but as [I]_2342-matt draw breath to speak , [he]_2342-matt drops [his]_2342-matt head to [my]_2342-matt breast , flicking [his]_2342-matt tongue over [my]_2342-matt already taut nipple , circling it and licking the chocolate away . [I]_2342-matt buck when [his]_2342-matt teeth clamp over [my]_2342-matt tight bud , the sharp stab arching [my]_2342-matt back and pushing [my]_2342-matt breast up further , forcing [him]_2342-matt to pull away slightly to accommodate [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Feel good ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks . ‘ Yes ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_2342-matt want more of [my]_2342-matt mouth ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Jesus]_72-jesus , [Jesse]_327-jesse ! ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt hums in satisfaction , spreading [his]_2342-matt attention between [my]_2342-matt breasts , lapping , nipping and sucking the chocolate , gradually and meticulously away . [I]_2342-matt moan . [I]_2342-matt ’m a sweating mess . [My]_2342-matt fingers are clawed in [his]_2342-matt hair as [I]_2342-matt squirm under [his]_2342-matt expert tongue . One touch of [my]_2342-matt core and [I]_2342-matt ’ll be propelled into a despairing stupor . ‘_[2342-matt] All clean . ’ [he]_2342-matt drawls as [he]_2342-matt lifts [his]_2342-matt body , [his]_2342-matt eyes locking with [mine]_2342-matt . ‘_[1548-she] But [she]_1548-she wants more of [my]_2342-matt mouth . ’ [He]_2342-matt licks [his]_2342-matt lips and backs away from [me]_832-ava , [my]_832-ava stomach performing a full three sixty spin . Oh , [Christ]_72-jesus . [I]_832-ava wo n’t last a second . [He]_2342-matt looms over [me]_832-ava , looking straight down to the apex of [my]_832-ava thighs . [He]_2342-matt eases [his]_2342-matt palms onto [my]_832-ava thighs and slowly pulls them further apart . ‘_[832-ava] Fuck , [Ava]_832-ava . [You]_832-ava ’re weeping . ’_[1549-his] [He]_1549-his breathes in deep , and [I]_2342-matt see the rise and fall of [his]_1549-his chest speed up . [He]_1549-his flicks one last gaze up at [me]_2342-matt before [his]_1549-his head drifts down , slowly and provocatively . [I]_2342-matt clamp [my]_2342-matt eyes shut , tensing [my]_2342-matt whole body , as [I]_2342-matt wait for that first dash of contact . And there it is . One long sweep of [his]_1549-his tongue , straight up the centre of [my]_2342-matt core , with a little dance on [my]_2342-matt clit to finish off . ‘ Oh … [God]_68-god ! ’_[1549-his] [I]_2342-matt groan , and [I]_2342-matt ’m rewarded with two fingers thrust straight in to maximum capacity . [I]_2342-matt buck and writher involuntarily as [Jesse]_327-jesse lays an arm across [my]_2342-matt stomach to hold [me]_2342-matt down . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_1550-you want [me]_2342-matt to stop ? ’ [he]_1549-his asks . [His]_1549-his voice is gravel , [my]_2342-matt reaction violent . [He]_1549-his swiftly returns to [my]_2342-matt sex , plunging [his]_1549-his fingers in deep while lightly stroking [my]_2342-matt clitoris with [his]_1549-his tongue . In seconds , [I]_2342-matt feel the peak of an explosion on the horizon , and with one last casual sweep up the very centre of [my]_2342-matt most sensitive place , [I]_2342-matt burst apart under [him]_1551-his . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] lost . [I]_2342-matt thrash [my]_2342-matt head from side to side , a rush of breath escaping [my]_2342-matt burning lungs on a long peaceful sigh , as [my]_2342-matt thumping heart works its way back down to a steady , safe rate . [He]_1551-his laps gently , helping [me]_2342-matt ride out the pulses of [my]_2342-matt orgasm , letting [me]_2342-matt drift delicately down as [I]_2342-matt moan in pure satisfaction . [He]_1551-his has the most incredible mouth . In [my]_2342-matt subliminal state , [I]_2342-matt feel [him]_1551-his shift from between [my]_2342-matt legs , reaching up to slip [his]_1551-his fingers into [my]_2342-matt mouth so [I]_2342-matt can lap up the moisture of [my]_2342-matt release . ‘ See how good [you]_1551-his taste , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[1551-his] [he]_1551-his hums , swirling [his]_1551-his finger around [my]_2342-matt mouth , then sliding them into [his]_1551-his own , ensuring every last piece of [me]_2342-matt is savoured by [his]_1551-his tongue . [His]_1551-his head drops and [he]_1551-his hovers over [my]_2342-matt face , looking into [my]_2342-matt eyes before resting [his]_1551-his lips gently on [mine]_2342-matt , brushing from side to side . ‘ [You]_1552-you ’re_[1551-his] amazing . [I]_2342-matt need to be inside [you]_1552-you . ’ [He]_1551-his shifts quickly , and in one measured movement , [he]_1551-his yanks [me]_2342-matt forward and impales [me]_2342-matt on [his]_1551-his waiting arousal . [I]_2342-matt cry out at the shock invasion , [my]_2342-matt abating climax resurrected . [Jesus]_72-jesus ! ‘_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt turn , ’ [he]_1551-his gasps , pulling out and firing forward again . [I]_832-ava cry out , throwing [my]_832-ava arms over [my]_832-ava head as [he]_1551-his clamps onto [my]_832-ava thighs tightly , pulling [me]_832-ava back and forth on the marble to match [his]_1551-his momentum . [I]_832-ava peel [my]_832-ava eyes open and find [him]_1551-his sweating , [his]_1551-his jaw clenched . The remnants of the cream and chocolate has [me]_832-ava sliding to meet [him]_1551-his with ease , tingling sensations attacking [me]_832-ava between [my]_832-ava thighs , the delicious full drives of [his]_1551-his powerful body set to blow [my]_832-ava brain clean out of [my]_832-ava head . Fucking hell ! ‘_[832-ava] Does that feel good , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [he]_1551-his shouts over [my]_832-ava cries . ‘_[832-ava] God , yes ! ’ ‘_[832-ava] [You]_832-ava wo n’t run away from [me]_2342-matt again , will [you]_832-ava ? ’ ‘_[832-ava] No ! ’ Never ! [I]_1553-his ’m_[1553-his] hauled up onto [his]_1553-his body and swung around to meet the wall , [my]_2342-matt back crashing against it , causing a shocked yell to burst from [my]_2342-matt mouth . [I]_2342-matt lied . [I]_2342-matt ’m not use to [him]_1553-his , at all . And [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not sure [I]_2342-matt ever will be . [He]_1553-his ’s so incredibly powerful , forceful and large . [I]_2342-matt endure [his]_1553-his determined , unrelenting pounds as [I]_2342-matt ’m pushed up the wall on cry after cry . In [my]_2342-matt desperation to control [my]_2342-matt rolling orgasm , [I]_2342-matt find [his]_1553-his shoulder and latch on with [my]_2342-matt mouth , sinking [my]_2342-matt teeth into [his]_1553-his flesh . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , FUCK ! ’ [he]_1553-his roars . [I]_72-jesus hear [his]_1553-his forehead collide into the wall behind [me]_72-jesus , [his]_1553-his hips powering forward . That ’s it . [I]_72-jesus release [his]_1553-his shoulder , throw [my]_72-jesus head back on a harsh cry and erupt into a splintering follow up orgasm . [He]_1553-his stills suddenly , [his]_1553-his breathing ragged and violent , and then [he]_1553-his thunders forward one last , powerful time . ‘_[72-jesus] [Jesus]_72-jesus ! ’ [he]_1553-his barks , jerking against [me]_72-jesus , inside and out . [I]_72-jesus ’m_[72-jesus] convulsing in [his]_72-jesus arms with [my]_2342-matt own fitful breathing , trying to gulp down some valuable air into [my]_2342-matt overworked lungs . Shock and awe . Wow ! [I]_2342-matt clench [my]_2342-matt arms and legs tighter around [him]_72-jesus , close [my]_2342-matt eyes and melt into [his]_72-jesus body . [I]_2342-matt ’m only dimly aware of being transported back to the kitchen island in [his]_72-jesus arms , the movement causing [his]_72-jesus semi - erection to stroke the wall of [my]_1554-i uterus as [I]_1554-i cling onto [him]_72-jesus , revelling in [his]_72-jesus heat . [I]_1554-i lay back as [he]_72-jesus lowers [me]_1554-i , feeling the comfort of [his]_72-jesus solid chest rest onto [mine]_1554-i . Instinctively , [I]_1554-i curl [my]_1554-i arms around [his]_72-jesus back as [he]_72-jesus showers [my]_1554-i face with tender kisses . Oh God , [I]_1554-i feel so overwhelmed . [I]_1554-i ’ve never felt so needed or wanted . [My]_1554-i time with [Jesse]_327-jesse , good and bad , strops and affection , has blasted any other feelings [I]_1554-i ’ve had , well and truly , out of the water . [I]_1554-i open [my]_1554-i eyes , knowing [he]_72-jesus ’s looking at [me]_1554-i . ‘_[1554-i] [You]_1554-i and [me]_2342-matt . ’ [he]_72-jesus whispers , gazing down at [me]_1554-i . [I]_1554-i close [my]_1554-i heavy lids and pull [his]_72-jesus head down to bury [my]_1554-i face in [his]_72-jesus neck , completely losing [myself]_1554-i in [him]_72-jesus . ‘_[1554-i] [We]_1555-we need a shower . ’ [I]_1554-i drag [my]_1554-i eyes open . [I]_1554-i ’m_[1554-i] being lifted from the breakfast bar , [I]_2342-matt ’m wrapped around [Jesse]_327-jesse and [I]_2342-matt have no intention of letting go . ‘_[2342-matt] Let ’s stay . ’ [I]_1554-i murmur dreamily . [I]_1554-i ’m_[1554-i] so tired . [He]_1554-i chuckles . ‘ Just hold on . [I]_1554-i ’ll do all the work . ’_[1554-i] So [I]_2342-matt do . [I]_2342-matt hold on tight , [my]_2342-matt legs wrapped around [his]_1554-i waist , [my]_2342-matt arms around [his]_1554-i shoulders , as [he]_1554-i carries [me]_2342-matt through [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} , up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} and into [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} . ‘ Put [me]_2342-matt in bed . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt gripe as [he]_1554-i deposits [me]_2342-matt on the vanity unit . ‘ [Your]_832-ava sticky , [I]_1554-i ’m_[1554-i] sticky . Let [me]_2342-matt wash [us]_1559-us both , then [we]_1559-us can get in bed and snuggle . Deal ? ’ [He]_1554-i goes to turn the shower on . [I]_2342-matt look up at [him]_1554-i through sleepy eyes . ‘_[2342-matt] No , put [me]_2342-matt in bed . ’ [I]_832-ava grumble . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [you]_832-ava ’re adorable when [you]_832-ava ’re_[832-ava] sleepy . ’ [He]_1554-i scoops [me]_2342-matt up from [the unit]_{2926-the unit} and carries [me]_2342-matt into the shower . [I]_2342-matt rest [my]_2342-matt head in the crook of [his]_2342-matt neck , making no attempt to free [myself]_2342-matt from [his]_2342-matt warm body . The water is blissful . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m going to put [you]_832-ava down , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says . [I]_2342-matt tighten [my]_2342-matt grip around [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt laughs . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ca n’t wash [you]_832-ava down without any free hands . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt want to stay stuck to [you]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt sighs , leaning [his]_2342-matt back against the tiled wall with [me]_2342-matt still clutched to [him]_2342-matt . Turning [his]_2342-matt face into [mine]_2342-matt , [he]_2342-matt drops a tender kiss on [my]_2342-matt forehead , humming against [my]_2342-matt skin . [I]_2342-matt acknowledge the contact through [my]_2342-matt sleepy state by nuzzling [his]_2342-matt neck , humming [my]_2342-matt own little sigh of contentment . One arm releases [me]_2342-matt , [his]_2342-matt knee rising to meet [my]_2342-matt backside , while [he]_2342-matt leans over and grasps the shower gel from the shelf , dropping it to the floor before doing the same with the shampoo . [He]_2342-matt lowers [his]_2342-matt knee , slips [his]_2342-matt arm back under [my]_2342-matt bent legs and slowly slides down the wall , holding tightly onto [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt feel the firmness of the shower floor beneath [him]_2342-matt as [we]_1560-we come to rest on the floor . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt ’m restricting [him]_2342-matt with [my]_2342-matt arms clenched around [his]_2342-matt neck , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t move them , and [he]_2342-matt does n’t complain . [He]_2342-matt works around [me]_2342-matt , holding [me]_2342-matt with one arm , washing and rinsing [my]_2342-matt hair with [his]_2342-matt free hand as best as [I]_2342-matt ’ll allow . [His]_2342-matt task is unhurried as [he]_2342-matt cleans away the leftovers of cream and chocolate from [my]_2342-matt body , [his]_2342-matt hand gliding over [me]_2342-matt tenderly in slow , careful circles , wheedling [me]_2342-matt into a slumber . [I]_2342-matt keep [my]_2342-matt hold of [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to ever let go . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt want to look after [you]_1561-you forever . ’ [he]_2342-matt whispers , pressing [his]_2342-matt lips against [my]_2342-matt temple . [I]_2342-matt release a hand from [his]_2342-matt neck , brushing down [his]_2342-matt chest to [his]_2342-matt abdominals , slowly circling [his]_2342-matt belly button . ‘_[2342-matt] Okay , ’ [I]_2342-matt agree . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] more than happy with that . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t think of anything more natural to [me]_2342-matt – [I]_2342-matt doubt [I]_2342-matt ever will . [He]_2342-matt lets out a long , tired breath . ‘ Come on , let ’s get [you]_2342-matt out . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt pull [myself]_2342-matt away from [him]_2342-matt , struggling to [my]_2342-matt feet . [I]_2342-matt feel utterly shattered . [I]_2342-matt put [my]_2342-matt hand out and [he]_2342-matt accepts it willingly , although [I]_2342-matt ’m of no assistance in actually heaving [him]_2342-matt to [his]_2342-matt feet . [I]_2342-matt notice the remnants of some chocolate on [his]_2342-matt chest so [I]_2342-matt dip and pick up the shower gel , squirting some in [my]_2342-matt hands . [He]_2342-matt watches [me]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt work up a lather in [my]_2342-matt hands and place [my]_2342-matt palms against [his]_2342-matt chest , [his]_2342-matt gaze fixed on [my]_2342-matt hands while [they]_3135-they work over [him]_2342-matt , [his]_2342-matt light dusting of hair stuck to the solid muscle beneath . When [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] done , [I]_2342-matt lean in to drop a chaste kiss on the centre of [his]_2342-matt chest . [I]_2342-matt look up at [him]_2342-matt and find [his]_2342-matt eyes are squeezed shut , [his]_2342-matt face turned up towards the ceiling . [I]_2342-matt reach up and kiss [his]_2342-matt throat to get [his]_2342-matt attention , but a few seconds pass before [he]_2342-matt brings [his]_2342-matt face down to [mine]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt smile at [him]_2342-matt , and [he]_2342-matt offers a little one in return . It ’s not convincing , and it has [me]_2342-matt wondering what ’s causing [his]_2342-matt anguish . ‘ What ’s wrong ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask nervously . ‘ Nothing ’s wrong . Everything is right . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt cups [my]_2342-matt cheeks in both of [his]_2342-matt hands , giving [me]_2342-matt a half smile , [his]_2342-matt eyes running all over [my]_2342-matt face before [he]_2342-matt turns the shower off and steps out , wrapping a towel around [his]_2342-matt narrow waist . [I]_2342-matt walk out behind [him]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt ’m immediately engulfed in a soft bath sheet . [He]_2342-matt rubs [me]_1562-you from top to toe , working the excess water from [my]_1562-you hair . ‘_[1562-you] [You]_1562-you want [me]_2342-matt to carry [you]_1562-you ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks . [I]_1563-i actually do . How lazy of [me]_1563-i . [I]_1563-i nod and [he]_2342-matt smiles approvingly , scooping [my]_1563-i naked body up into [his]_2342-matt arms and carrying [me]_1563-i to the bed . [I]_1563-i crawl under the sheets , inhaling deeply as [my]_1563-i head rests on the pillow , the delicious waft of [Jesse]_327-jesse swamping [my]_1563-i senses . Oh , [I]_1563-i ’ll sleep well here . [He]_2342-matt drops [his]_2342-matt towel . [I]_1563-i open the covers in invitation and as soon as [he]_2342-matt ’s close enough , [I]_1563-i crawl into [his]_2342-matt chest , burying [my]_1563-i face under [his]_2342-matt chin , [my]_1563-i hot breath ricocheting off [his]_2342-matt neck , back into [my]_1563-i face . [I]_1563-i draw [my]_1563-i leg up , resting [my]_1563-i upper leg between [his]_2342-matt thighs . [I]_1563-i ’m_[1563-i] completely swathed in [him]_1563-i , and it ’s the most soothing place in [the world]_{516-the world} . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[1563-i] too comfy . ’ [I]_2342-matt garble into [his]_2342-matt throat . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt am ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt are . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Good . Go to sleep , [baby]_65-ha . ’ [He]_2342-matt drops a kiss on top of [my]_65-ha head and squeezes [me]_65-ha to [him]_2342-matt . There is no space welcome between [us]_3136-us . Chapter 26 [I]_65-ha regain consciousness with [Jesse]_327-jesse lying between [my]_65-ha thighs , rubbing [his]_327-jesse nose against [mine]_65-ha . [I]_65-ha force [my]_65-ha eyes open . ‘_[65-ha] Morning , [lady]_65-ha . ’ [I]_65-ha groan , extending [my]_65-ha arms above [my]_65-ha head in a long , satisfying stretch . Oh , [I]_65-ha slept very well . As [I]_65-ha settle back down , [I]_65-ha feel [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s morning hard on nuzzling between [my]_65-ha thighs , a flicker of a smile playing at the sides of [his]_327-jesse mouth . [I]_65-ha wiggle under [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[65-ha] Morning , [yourself]_65-ha , ’ In one swift movement , [he]_327-jesse drives deep into [me]_65-ha , and it ’s already a great day . [I]_65-ha hold onto [his]_327-jesse tight biceps as [he]_327-jesse rests on [his]_327-jesse forearms and works up into a firm , steady rhythm . [He]_327-jesse opens [his]_327-jesse eyes . ‘_[65-ha] [I]_2342-matt love sleepy sex with [you]_65-ha . ’ [I]_2342-matt stare into [his]_327-jesse calm , peaceful face and let [him]_327-jesse take [me]_2342-matt to paradise , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] abruptly snapped out of [my]_2342-matt dreamy state when [Jesse]_327-jesse rolls [us]_1566-us both over , keeping [us]_1566-us connected , so [I]_2342-matt ’m straddling [him]_327-jesse . The sudden gravity sensitises [me]_832-ava to [his]_327-jesse invasion . ‘_[832-ava] Ride [me]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [His]_327-jesse voice is raspy , [his]_327-jesse hunger filled eyes glistening in the morning light . [He]_327-jesse grasps [my]_2342-matt thighs , and [I]_2342-matt plant [my]_2342-matt palms on [his]_327-jesse pecs . [I]_2342-matt look down at [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m in charge ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt grins . ‘ Do [your]_2342-matt worst , [baby]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt flicks [his]_2342-matt hips up , prompting [me]_2342-matt to instigate some movement . Right ! Staring [him]_2342-matt squarely in [his]_2342-matt sludgy , sleepy eyes , [I]_2342-matt slowly and carefully rise from [his]_2342-matt hips , bracing [myself]_2342-matt up for a few seconds , teasing and watching [his]_2342-matt face blaze for friction . Then slowly , [I]_2342-matt lower [myself]_2342-matt back down with equal precision , forcing [myself]_2342-matt down , grinding as far as possible until [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_2342-matt arousal hit [my]_2342-matt womb . It sends [him]_2342-matt into a tailspin . [He]_2342-matt throws [his]_2342-matt head back , moaning so loud it echoes around [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} . [I]_2342-matt smile to [myself]_2342-matt . This is [my]_2342-matt opportunity to regain the power and [I]_2342-matt ’m going to make the most of it . ‘_[2342-matt] Again ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask confidently . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to love this . ‘ Fuck , yes ! ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt pants . ‘ Mind [your]_2342-matt language , please . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt taunt [him]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt slowly rise again , falling with complete precision , grinding [myself]_2342-matt against [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt repeat the tortuous move again and again , watching as [he]_2342-matt crumbles beneath [me]_2342-matt . [His]_2342-matt hands shoot up to cup [my]_2342-matt breasts , [his]_2342-matt thumbs working small circles around [my]_2342-matt tight nipples . [I]_2342-matt rise again , pausing at [my]_2342-matt peak . [His]_2342-matt eyes are skipping , [his]_2342-matt mouth parted . [I]_2342-matt ’m struggling to keep control above [him]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Down ? ’ [I]_2342-matt tease . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh God , yes . ’ [I]_2342-matt descend again , seeing [his]_2342-matt face distort , clear evidence of [his]_2342-matt suffering . [He]_2342-matt wo n’t endure this for much longer . [I]_2342-matt can see the strain carved in [his]_2342-matt tense jaw and creased forehead . [He]_2342-matt groans , holding [my]_2342-matt breasts tighter , sending a sharp , shooting pain directly to [my]_2342-matt core . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not going to be able to endure this for long . [I]_2342-matt ’m on the crest of release , and [I]_72-jesus need [him]_2342-matt to be there when [I]_72-jesus fall . [I]_72-jesus lift [myself]_72-jesus up , watching as [he]_2342-matt expects [me]_72-jesus to slowly lower [myself]_72-jesus . [I]_72-jesus do n’t . Instead , [I]_72-jesus knock the wind right out of [him]_2342-matt and crash down , completely impaling [myself]_72-jesus on [him]_2342-matt . [I]_72-jesus grind down hard . ‘_[72-jesus] [Jesus fucking Christ]_72-jesus ! ’ [he]_72-jesus roars , sweat instantly breaking out across [his]_72-jesus brow . [I]_72-jesus roll [my]_72-jesus hips , ensuring optimum penetration , forcing [myself]_72-jesus down onto [him]_2342-matt . Yes , [you]_2342-matt ’ll beg . ‘_[72-jesus] Fuck , fuck , fuck . [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt ’m going to come ! ’_[832-ava] ‘ Wait . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt demand . [His]_2342-matt eyes snap open in shock , desperation filling [them]_1568-them . [I]_2342-matt roll again , watching as [he]_2342-matt squeezes [his]_2342-matt eyes shut , [his]_2342-matt frown line the deepest [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever seen it . This is taking everything out of [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt just need one more … ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt pleads . ‘ Shit ! Wait . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Watch [your]_2342-matt mouth ! ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt yells , [his]_2342-matt eyes still closed in concentration . It ’s killing [him]_2342-matt . ‘ Fuck off , [Jesse]_327-jesse ! ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt eyes fly back open in warning at [my]_2342-matt crass words , but [I]_2342-matt could n’t give a damn . [I]_2342-matt clamp [my]_2342-matt hands over [his]_2342-matt and use [my]_2342-matt leg muscles to lift [myself]_2342-matt again , hovering above [him]_2342-matt and crashing down so [he]_2342-matt completely spears [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt lift again . ‘ Now ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt cry , smashing back down . [My]_2342-matt body explodes , sending [me]_2342-matt soaring right into orbit . [I]_2342-matt ’m vaguely aware of [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s strangled moans as [I]_2342-matt feel hot moisture invade [me]_2342-matt , warming [my]_2342-matt entire being . [I]_2342-matt collapse onto [his]_327-jesse chest in an exhausted heap – job done . [I]_2342-matt lay sprawled across [him]_327-jesse , melting into the rhythm of [his]_327-jesse fingers circling [my]_2342-matt back , [his]_327-jesse semi - erection drumming steadily inside [me]_2342-matt . [Our]_3137-our heartbeats are clashing together between [our]_3137-our chests as [we]_3137-our try to regulate [our]_3137-our breathing . [We]_3137-our ’re_[2342-matt] both totally replete . ‘ [I]_2342-matt love sleepy sex with [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt murmur . [He]_2342-matt kisses the top of [my]_2342-matt head . ‘ Except for [your]_2342-matt filthy mouth . ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt voice is full of scorn . [I]_2342-matt laugh and look up at [him]_2342-matt , reaching to run [my]_2342-matt fingers down [his]_2342-matt stubbly cheek . [I]_2342-matt love [his]_2342-matt stubble . [He]_2342-matt turns [his]_2342-matt face into [my]_2342-matt touch , kissing [my]_2342-matt fingers and returning [my]_2342-matt smile . ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t think [we]_3138-we can call that sleepy sex , [baby]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No . [We]_3138-we ’ll think of a new name for [that one]_{1509-that one} . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Okay . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt agree , completely contented . [I]_2342-matt rest [my]_2342-matt cheek back onto [his]_2342-matt chest and trace small circles around [his]_2342-matt golden nipple . ‘ How old are [you]_2342-matt , [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Twenty nine , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scoff , but it occurs to [me]_2342-matt , very suddenly , that [I]_2342-matt wo n’t have a clue when [we]_1569-we finally reach [his]_2342-matt real age . [I]_2342-matt ’m plumping for thirty four . That ’s eight years past [me]_2342-matt – [I]_2342-matt can live with that . [I]_2342-matt sigh . ‘_[2342-matt] What ’s the time ? ’ [I]_2342-matt could do with another hour . [He]_2342-matt shifts [me]_2342-matt from [his]_2342-matt chest . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt left [my]_2342-matt watch [downstairs]_{2323-downstairs} . [I]_2342-matt ’ll go take a look . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_1571-you need a clock in here . ’ [I]_2342-matt grumble as [he]_2342-matt gets out of bed , leaving [me]_2342-matt cold and bare without [him]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll put in a complaint to [the designer]_{1572-the designer} . ’ [he]_2342-matt replies dryly . [I]_2342-matt ignore [him]_2342-matt , turning over to snuggle down , making do with the pillow . This bed is the most comfortable [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever slept in . [I]_2342-matt did well here . ‘_[2342-matt] Seven thirty . ’ [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_2342-matt shout from [downstairs]_{2323-downstairs} . [I]_2342-matt bolt upright in bed . ‘_[2342-matt] Shit ! ’ [I]_2342-matt jump out and race [downstairs]_{2323-downstairs} to [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_1571-you ’ll have to drop [me]_2342-matt at [home]_281-home . ’ [He]_2342-matt sits , dead cool and casual on the bar stool , completely bare arsed naked , scooping peanut butter from a jar with [his]_2342-matt finger . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m a bit busy this morning . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says without looking at [me]_2342-matt . Oh , the irritating pig ! This is , without a doubt , a ploy to keep [me]_2342-matt [here]_314-here . After all , [he]_2342-matt did say [I]_2342-matt would n’t be walking , and [I]_2342-matt am . [I]_2342-matt ’ll get the tube , it ’s no bother . [I]_2342-matt scan the floor where [I]_2342-matt dropped [my]_2342-matt clothes – no clothes . ‘ Where are [my]_2342-matt clothes , [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt sticks [his]_2342-matt peanut butter covered finger into [his]_2342-matt mouth , sucking it off and pulling it slowly from [his]_2342-matt mouth on a little pop . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ve no idea . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says , completely straight faced and unaffected . Where has [he]_2342-matt hid them , the little shit ? [They]_1575-they ca n’t be far . [I]_2342-matt stalk around [[his]_2342-matt apartment]_{1576-his apartment} , huffing and puffing , pulling open cupboard doors and looking behind furniture . [I]_2342-matt march back into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , finding [him]_2342-matt still sitting there , looking infuriatingly naked and handsome , and completely unaffected by [my]_2342-matt frenzy . Oh , [I]_2342-matt ’ve not got time for this . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t be late for work . ‘ Where are [my]_2342-matt fucking clothes ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout . ‘ Watch [your]_2342-matt fucking mouth ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head at [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt ’ll have a bar of soap in [my]_2342-matt mouth next . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse , [I]_2342-matt never swore out loud before [I]_2342-matt met [you]_2342-matt … funny , huh ? [I]_2342-matt need to get [home]_281-home so [I]_2342-matt can get ready for work . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt know [you]_2342-matt do . ’_[2342-matt] And in goes another peanut butter covered finger . ‘ So , where are [my]_2342-matt clothes ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt try calm , but if [he]_2342-matt does n’t give [me]_2342-matt [my]_2342-matt clothes now , [I]_2342-matt ’ll soon revert back to [mad woman]_{1578-mad woman} . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t be late . ‘ [They]_3143-they are … somewhere . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt grins around [his]_2342-matt finger . ‘ Where is somewhere ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask , while thinking about how much [I]_2342-matt dislike [roguish Jesse]_327-jesse today . ‘ If [I]_{1578-mad woman} tell [you]_327-jesse , [you]_327-jesse have to give [me]_{1578-mad woman} something in return . ’_{[1578-mad woman]} [I]_2342-matt feel [mad woman]_{1578-mad woman} coming on ! ‘ What ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt yell . ‘ Do n’t drink tomorrow night . ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt face is deadpan . [I]_2342-matt scowl at [him]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt watch [him]_2342-matt fighting to control a smirk from breaking out . [The conniving pig]_{1579-the conniving pig} ! [He]_2342-matt ’s got [me]_2342-matt cornered , naked , late for work and in need of a lift . [I]_2342-matt stand , pondering [his]_2342-matt trade . If [I]_2342-matt ’m honest , [I]_2342-matt was n’t planning on getting particularly drunk , especially after [my]_2342-matt performance on Saturday . [I]_2342-matt ’ve not even asked [Kate]_2557-kate if [she]_2557-kate ’s free yet , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t want [Mr Control Freak]_327-jesse thinking [he]_327-jesse can dictate [my]_2342-matt every move . Give [him]_327-jesse an inch and all that . ‘_[2342-matt] Fine ! ’ How will [he]_327-jesse know if [I]_2342-matt have a drink , anyway ? [He]_327-jesse looks shocked . ‘_[2342-matt] That was easier than [I]_2342-matt thought . What about lunch later ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Okay , get [my]_2342-matt clothes ! ’ ‘_[832-ava] Who holds the power , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [he]_327-jesse asks . [I]_832-ava do n’t have time to challenge [him]_327-jesse on that . ‘_[832-ava] [You]_65-ha do , get [my]_2342-matt clothes ! ’ ‘_[65-ha] Correct . ’ [He]_327-jesse struts over to the fridge – with a little extra swagger for [my]_65-ha benefit – and opens the door . ‘_[65-ha] Here [you]_65-ha are , [lady]_65-ha . ’ [They]_65-ha were in the fridge ? Well , [I]_65-ha would never have looked in there . [I]_65-ha snatch them from [his]_1581-he hand , and [he]_1581-he raises a warning brow at [me]_65-ha . [I]_65-ha do n’t care . [I]_65-ha ’m_[65-ha] going to be so late . [He]_1581-he watches [me]_2342-matt frantically yank [my]_2342-matt capri pants on and laughs as [I]_2342-matt hop around gasping when the freezing cold material rests on [my]_2342-matt skin . ‘ Have [I]_1581-he got time for a shower ? ’_[1581-he] [he]_1581-he asks seriously . ‘ NO ! ’_[1581-he] [He]_1581-he laughs , slaps [my]_2342-matt bum and saunters out of [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . [Jesse]_327-jesse drives [me]_2342-matt [home]_281-home in [his]_1581-he usual driving style – frighteningly fast and ever impatient , but today [I]_2342-matt ’m grateful . [He]_1581-he waits for [me]_2342-matt in [the car]_{548-the car} , making a few calls , while [I]_2342-matt shower and get ready in record time . [I]_2342-matt shove on some black , fitted ankle grazers , a white shirt and [my]_2342-matt red Dune ballet pumps . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] dressed for speed today . [My]_2342-matt hair is having a strop for not being blow dried last night , so [I]_2342-matt pin it into a messy up do . [I]_2342-matt ’ll put [my]_2342-matt make - up on in [the car]_{548-the car} . As [I]_2342-matt rush across the landing , [I]_2342-matt collide with [a half - naked Sam]_{1585-a half - naked sam} . Has [he]_{1585-a half - naked sam} moved in ? Put some clothes on ! ‘ [You]_{1585-a half - naked sam} ’re_[1586-chick] always in a rush , [chick]_1586-chick . ’ [He]_{1585-a half - naked sam} laughs . [I]_1586-chick side step [him]_{1585-a half - naked sam} , darting into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} to get a glass of water and swallow [my]_1586-chick pill . ‘_[1586-chick] Good night ? ’ [I]_2557-kate nod over [my]_2557-kate glass as [he]_{1585-a half - naked sam} stands , bold as brass in the kitchen doorway , looking all roughed up . [I]_2557-kate wo n’t ask if [he]_{1585-a half - naked sam} ’s had a good night . That much is obvious . ‘_[2557-kate] Where ’s [Kate]_2557-kate ? ’ [I]_2557-kate ask . [He]_{1585-a half - naked sam} grins . ‘_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt ’ve tied [her]_2557-kate to the bed . ’ [My]_2557-kate eyes widen . [I]_2557-kate have no idea if [he]_{1585-a half - naked sam} ’s serious or not . [He]_{1585-a half - naked sam} ’s such [a joker]_{3145-a joker} . ‘_[2557-kate] Tell [her]_2557-kate [I]_2342-matt ’ll call [her]_2557-kate later . ’ [I]_1587-i wait for [Sam]_1914-sam to budge and let [me]_1587-i out . ‘_[1587-i] See [ya]_1587-i . ’ [I]_1587-i call , running down [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} . ‘_[1587-i] Hey , tell [Jesse]_327-jesse [I]_2342-matt ’m not running today . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse shouts after [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt run down [the path]_{2482-the road} and onto [the street]_{945-the street} , where [Jesse]_327-jesse is illegally parked and flipping off a traffic warden from [[his]_327-jesse driver]_{1590-his driver} ’s seat . [I]_2342-matt wait for [the warden]_{1591-the warden} to finish lecturing [Jesse]_327-jesse , but [he]_327-jesse seems to be on a roll . ‘ Move so [the lady]_{3147-the lady} can get in [the car]_{548-the car} . ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse growls . [The warden]_{1591-the warden} ignores [him]_{1591-the warden} , launching into a speech on verbal abuse and lack of consideration for [other road users]_{1592-other road users} . ‘ Excuse [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt prompt , trying for polite as appose to [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s aggressiveness . [I]_2342-matt get ignored . Damn , [I]_2342-matt ’m going to be super late . ‘_[2342-matt] For fucks sake ! ’ [Jesse]_327-jesse swings [his]_327-jesse door open and strides around [the car]_{548-the car} to meet [the warden]_{1591-the warden} on [the pavement]_{2745-the pavement} . [The poor man]_327-jesse visibly shrinks at [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s presence , moving away hastily . [He]_327-jesse opens the door , deposits [me]_1593-me in [the car]_{548-the car} before slamming it , cussing some more and sliding back behind the wheel . [We]_1593-me roar off down [[my]_1593-me street]_{3150-my street} , way too fast . ‘_[1593-me] [They]_1593-me ’re just doing a job , [you]_2342-matt know . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt flip the mirror down to sort [my]_2342-matt make - up out . ‘ Power hungry failures that did n’t make [cops]_3151-cops , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt grumbles . [He]_2342-matt looks at [me]_2342-matt and smiles . ‘ [You]_2342-matt look lovely . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt snort . ‘ Watch [the road]_{2482-the road} . Oh , [Sam]_1914-sam said [he]_2342-matt ca n’t make [your]_2342-matt run . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Lazy bastard]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt ’s still there then ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks , overtaking [a taxi]_{452-a taxi} . [I]_2342-matt grab the side of [my]_2342-matt seat . [My]_2342-matt make - up is going to be everywhere . ‘ [He]_2342-matt ’s got [Kate]_2557-kate tied to the bed . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mumble , flicking [my]_2342-matt lashes with [my]_2342-matt mascara wand . ‘ Probably , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt swing [my]_2342-matt head around with [my]_2342-matt wand half way to [my]_2342-matt eyes . ‘ [You]_2342-matt do n’t sound shocked . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ That ’s because [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not . ’ [He]_2342-matt looks at [me]_2342-matt out the corner of [his]_2342-matt eye . [He]_2342-matt ’s not ? So , [Sam]_1914-sam ’s into kinky shit ? ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to know . ’ [I]_2342-matt mutter , returning to the mirror . ‘_[2342-matt] No , [you]_2342-matt do n’t . ’ [he]_2342-matt says quietly . [We]_3153-we pull up near [[my]_2342-matt offices]_{3154-my offices} , but far enough away so [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not spotted getting out of [Jesse ’s Aston Martin]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m still trying to figure out how [Patrick]_327-jesse might react to all of this . [Jesse]_327-jesse has n’t mentioned the extension since Sunday , and [I]_2342-matt ca n’t imagine a pleasant reaction from [[my]_2342-matt boss]_{745-my boss} if [I]_2342-matt tell [him]_{745-my boss} that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not designing for [Mr Ward]_327-jesse , [I]_2342-matt ’m fucking [him]_{745-my boss} instead . ‘_[2342-matt] What time ’s [your]_2342-matt lunch ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks . [He]_2342-matt strokes [my]_2342-matt thigh , generating the familiar stabs of pleasure . Now is not the time to get horny , and that touch does it for [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] One , ’ [I]_2342-matt squeak . [He]_2342-matt rubs circles on [my]_2342-matt thigh . [I]_2342-matt stiffen slightly . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll be here at one then . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Right here ? ’ [I]_2342-matt breathe . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes , right here . ’ [His]_2342-matt hand drifts between [my]_327-jesse thighs . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , stop . ’ [I]_327-jesse close [my]_327-jesse eyes , trying to fight off the sparks of pleasure . [He]_2342-matt runs [his]_2342-matt hand up [my]_327-jesse centre , over [my]_327-jesse trousers . [I]_327-jesse whimper . ‘_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t keep [my]_2342-matt hands off [you]_327-jesse , ’ [he]_2342-matt says in that low hypnotising voice – the one that knocks all sense and reason out of [me]_327-jesse . ‘_[327-jesse] And [you]_327-jesse ’re not going to stop [me]_2342-matt , are [you]_327-jesse ? ’_[2342-matt] No , damn [me]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt ’m not ! Leaning over , [he]_2342-matt wraps [his]_2342-matt hand around the back of [my]_2342-matt neck and pulls [me]_2342-matt towards [him]_2342-matt , increasing the strokes of [my]_2342-matt core . When [his]_2342-matt lips find [my]_2342-matt mouth , [I]_2342-matt moan . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] being worked up into a blissful rhythm as [he]_1595-his caresses [my]_2342-matt tongue with [his]_1595-his , slowly and surely , guaranteeing optimum pleasure . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [I]_2342-matt ’m letting [him]_1595-his do this in [[his]_1595-his car]_{2476-his car} in broad daylight , but [he]_1595-his ’s triggered something now , and [I]_2342-matt ca n’t walk into [that office]_{3157-that office} with the ache of an abandoned orgasm lurking inside [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt need relief , or [I]_2342-matt wo n’t concentrate all day . Coils of craving spread out and build up , [my]_2342-matt concern at the possibility of being captured indecently disappear , just like that . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] all over [him]_1595-his . [He]_1595-his just does it for [me]_2342-matt in so many earth shattering ways . ‘ Let it go , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[1595-his] [he]_1595-his says into [my]_2342-matt mouth . ‘ [I]_1595-his want [you]_832-ava in [that office]_{3157-that office} thinking of what [I]_1595-his can do to [you]_832-ava . ’_[1595-his] [I]_2342-matt hit [my]_2342-matt climax , crying out as [he]_1595-his presses [his]_1595-his lips harder on [mine]_2342-matt , stifling [my]_2342-matt moans and alleviating the pressure of [his]_1595-his hand to slowly work [me]_2342-matt down again . [I]_2342-matt sigh against [his]_1595-his lips . ‘ Better ? ’_[1595-his] [he]_1595-his asks as [he]_1595-his pecks light kisses over [my]_2342-matt mouth . Oh yes , much better . The irritating , roguish and pouting [Jesse]_327-jesse of an hour ago has faded away completely . ‘ [I]_2342-matt can work in peace . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt sigh . [He]_1595-his laughs and releases [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Well , [I]_1595-his ’m_[1595-his] going [home]_281-home to think of [you]_1597-you and sort this out . ’ [He]_1595-his cups [himself]_1595-his where [his]_1595-his running shorts are tenting . [I]_2342-matt smile , leaning into [him]_1595-his , kissing [him]_1595-his chastely on the lips . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt could do that for [you]_1597-you . ’ [I]_832-ava offer , reaching down and grazing [my]_832-ava palm over [his]_1595-his arousal . [His]_1595-his eyes widen , sparkling with pleasure as [I]_832-ava reach into [his]_1595-his shorts and release [his]_1595-his throbbing length , squeezing the base and drawing a couple of lazy strokes . [His]_1595-his head falls back against the head rest . ‘_[832-ava] Oh , fuck , [Ava]_832-ava . That feels so good . ’ It does feel good , but in [my]_832-ava mouth it would feel better . What has got into [me]_832-ava ? [I]_832-ava continue with a few more controlled strokes , the tip glistening as [he]_1595-his shifts and moans in [his]_1595-his seat . [He]_1595-his must be close . [I]_832-ava lower [my]_832-ava head into [his]_1595-his lap and flick [my]_832-ava tongue across the pulsing head of [his]_1595-his glorious cock , tracing slow circles on [his]_1595-his wet tip . [His]_1595-his hips buck and [he]_1595-his grabs the steering wheel . How long will [he]_1595-his last ? [He]_1595-his moans deep , long and low . [He]_1595-his ’s definitely close . [Lazily]_211-lazily , [I]_832-ava slide [my]_832-ava wet tongue down [his]_1595-his shaft , causing [him]_1595-his to buck some more before [I]_832-ava wrap [my]_832-ava lips around [his]_1595-his head and slowly take it all the way to the back of [my]_832-ava throat . [He]_1595-his gasps . ‘_[832-ava] That ’s it , [baby]_832-ava . Take it all the way . ’ [I]_832-ava pause , feeling the throb beating against [my]_832-ava tongue , and on a slow exhale , [I]_832-ava work slowly back to the top . [He]_1595-his sighs in pure gratification . ‘_[832-ava] Keep going , just like that . ’ [He]_1595-his encourages [me]_832-ava , running [his]_1595-his hand over the back of [my]_832-ava neck . [I]_832-ava grin around [him]_1595-his , releasing [his]_1595-his erection from [my]_832-ava mouth , letting it spring against [his]_1595-his tight stomach . [His]_1595-his eyes widen as [I]_832-ava straighten up in [my]_832-ava seat and wipe [my]_832-ava mouth . ‘_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt ’d love to , but [you]_832-ava already made [me]_2342-matt late for work . ’ [I]_832-ava jump out of [the car]_{2476-his car} , yelping when [he]_1595-his makes a grab for [me]_832-ava . ‘_[832-ava] What the fuck ? [Ava]_832-ava ! ’ [I]_832-ava cross [the road]_{2482-the road} quickly , suddenly considering the possibility of [him]_1595-his chasing [me]_832-ava and tossing [me]_832-ava over [his]_1595-his shoulder . Would [he]_1595-his ? [I]_832-ava turn around when [I]_832-ava reach [the pavement]_{2745-the pavement} , seeing [him]_1595-his stood by [[his]_1595-his car]_{2476-his car} rubbing [his]_1595-his groin , a dark smile on [his]_1595-his face . [I]_832-ava feel untold relief . ‘_[832-ava] How old are [you]_832-ava , [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’ [I]_327-jesse shout across [the road]_{2482-the road} . ‘_[327-jesse] Thirty . That was n’t very nice , [you]_832-ava little temptress . ’ [I]_832-ava blow [him]_1595-his a kiss and courtesy sweetly , watching as [he]_1595-his puts [his]_1595-his hand out to catch it , that dark smile ever present . [I]_832-ava can see those cogs flying around from here . [I]_832-ava turn on [my]_832-ava heels and sashay off down [the road]_{2482-the road} , feeling rather pleased with [myself]_832-ava – for now , anyway . After all , [he]_1595-his holds the power . Chapter 27 ‘_[832-ava] Meeting at twelve , ’ [Victoria]_54-victoria calls as [she]_54-victoria totters out of [[Patrick]_327-jesse ’s office]_{279-the office} . [I]_54-victoria start sifting through [[my]_54-victoria current clients]_{3163-my current clients} , making notes on current statuses . [Our]_3164-our fortnightly progress meetings are a relaxed affair to keep [Patrick]_327-jesse abreast on current projects and to advise [Sally]_54-victoria of any paperwork that needs to be completed . It ’s also an hour of scoffing cream cakes and drinking tea continuously . [I]_54-victoria must go for a run tonight . ‘_{[54-victoria]} [Sally]_54-victoria ? ’ [I]_54-victoria call down [the office]_{279-the office} . [She]_54-victoria looks up from [her]_54-victoria computer screen , acknowledging [me]_54-victoria by removing [her]_54-victoria glasses . ‘_{[54-victoria]} Can [I]_2342-matt have a list of payment statuses on [clients]_424-clients , please ? ’ ‘_[832-ava] Of course , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , and [me]_2342-matt , ’ [Victoria]_54-victoria shouts . [Sally]_54-victoria looks at [Tom]_60-tom , who nods too . It ’s rare to have to chase payment , but highly embarrassing when [you]_832-ava do . [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s [a stickler]_{3165-a stickler} for payment deadlines . [I]_2342-matt get lost in [my]_2342-matt work for a few hours , chasing orders and replying to emails . At twelve , [Sally]_54-victoria places a box on [my]_2342-matt desk . ‘_[2342-matt] This came for [you]_832-ava . ’ Oh ? [I]_2342-matt did n’t hear the door . ‘_[2342-matt] Thanks , [Sal]_54-victoria . ’ [I]_54-victoria look down at the white box . Of course , [I]_54-victoria know who it ’s from . [I]_54-victoria open the box , secretly excited , while glancing around [the office]_{290-the office} to make sure no attention is aimed in [my]_54-victoria direction . Inside is a chocolate éclair . [I]_54-victoria laugh out loud , and [Tom]_60-tom ’s head whips up from [his]_60-tom desk . [I]_54-victoria wave [my]_54-victoria hand in a dismissive gesture . [He]_60-tom rolls [his]_60-tom eyes , returning to [his]_60-tom sketching . [I]_54-victoria grab the note and open it . Revenge is sweet . Jx [I]_54-victoria smile , pick up the éclair and sink [my]_54-victoria teeth in as [I]_54-victoria grab [my]_54-victoria folder and head for [[Patrick]_327-jesse ’s office]_{290-the office} . [Sally]_54-victoria follows behind with a tray full of tea and cakes . ‘_{[54-victoria]} Wait for [us]_1600-us ! ’ [Tom]_60-tom whines , watching [me]_2342-matt pop the last piece of éclair into [my]_2342-matt mouth . [He]_60-tom gives [me]_2342-matt a disgusted look as [I]_2342-matt wipe a lump of cream from the corner of [my]_2342-matt mouth . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt want one of them , [Sal]_54-victoria . ’ [He]_60-tom diverts [his]_60-tom attention to the tray that [Sally]_54-victoria has placed on [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s desk . [Sally]_54-victoria flicks a glance in [my]_54-victoria direction , frowning . ‘_{[54-victoria]} [I]_2342-matt got vanilla slices . ’ ‘_{[54-victoria]} Do n’t offer [me]_2342-matt any ! ’ [Victoria]_54-victoria barks , settling in one of the four tub chairs arranged around [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s huge , mahogany desk . ‘_{[54-victoria]} Do n’t tell [me]_2342-matt [you]_54-victoria ’re dieting again ? ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse grumbles . ‘ Yes , but [this one]_{410-this one} ’s working . ’_{[54-victoria]} [she]_54-victoria declares happily . Honestly , [the girl]_54-victoria is waif to the point of disappearing and on a different diet every week . [I]_2342-matt take a seat next to [her]_54-victoria , and [Tom]_60-tom joins [us]_1601-us as [Sally]_54-victoria hands out a spread sheet of clients invoice statuses before pouring the tea and settling down . [I]_2342-matt scan the list of invoices – all marked “ Paid ” or “ Not due ” and run [my]_2342-matt finger across the page when [I]_2342-matt come across the highlighted “ Overdue ” section . There ’s [one client in the column]_{1602-one client in the column} – just one . What ? [I]_2342-matt inwardly cringe . Any hope [I]_2342-matt had of evading any reference to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} and [Mr Ward]_327-jesse has just been spectacularly dashed . [The idiot]_327-jesse has n’t paid [his]_327-jesse initial consultation fee . What ’s [he]_327-jesse thinking ? [I]_2342-matt glance up , seeing [Patrick]_327-jesse running through the same list as [me]_2342-matt , along with [Victoria]_54-victoria and [Tom]_60-tom , who both look up at [me]_2342-matt in unison with the same expression . It ’s an , oh dear look . [I]_2342-matt sag in [my]_2342-matt chair , waiting for it . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [you]_832-ava need to contact [Mr Ward]_327-jesse and give [him]_327-jesse a nudge . What ’s the current position ? ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse asks . Oh .... dear . [I]_2342-matt ’ve completed [no client]_{1604-no client} forms – apart from the initial briefing sheet – [I]_2342-matt ’ve sent no quotations , [I]_2342-matt ’ve not established [my]_2342-matt role in the project , whether it be to design or design and manage . [I]_2342-matt ’ve done nothing . Well , [I]_2342-matt have , but nothing [you]_1605-you can class as work related . [I]_2342-matt ’ve not even submitted an invoice request for the second so called meeting that had [me]_2342-matt running away without [my]_2342-matt bra . That ’s a point … where is that bra ? Oh , [I]_2342-matt ’ve spent a few hours sketching a design , sat on [my]_2342-matt arse in the extension on a Sunday , but [I]_2342-matt can hardly put a bill in for that . [I]_2342-matt do n’t work on Sundays , and [Patrick]_327-jesse only has to look at [my]_2342-matt diary to see no appointment with [Mr Ward]_327-jesse . The only things [I]_2342-matt ’ve established , concerning [Mr Ward]_327-jesse , are not of a professional capacity . Oh , fucking hell . [I]_2342-matt clear [my]_2342-matt throat . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] compiling the consultation breakdown and quotation as [we]_1606-we speak . ’ [He]_327-jesse looks up at [me]_2342-matt , frowning in disapproval . ‘_[2342-matt] [Your]_1607-your first meeting was nearly two weeks ago and [you]_1607-your ’ve had a second since . What ’s taking so long , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [I]_327-jesse break into a cold sweat . A list of [my]_327-jesse fee structure is a simple task to complete , according to individual contracts , and usually done before the second meeting . [I]_327-jesse have absolutely no excuse . [I]_327-jesse can feel [Tom]_60-tom and [Victoria]_54-victoria staring at [me]_327-jesse . ‘_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse ’s been away . ’ [I]_327-jesse blurt . ‘_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse asked [me]_2342-matt to hold off with any correspondence . ’ ‘_[327-jesse] When [I]_2342-matt spoke to [him]_327-jesse last Monday , [he]_327-jesse was very keen to get cracking . ’ [Patrick]_327-jesse counters as [he]_327-jesse checks [his]_327-jesse diary . Damn [him]_327-jesse for making notes on everything ! [I]_327-jesse shrug . ‘_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt think it was a last minute business thing . [I]_2342-matt ’ll give [him]_327-jesse a call . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_1608-you do that . And [I]_2342-matt do n’t want [you]_1608-you spending any more time on it until [he]_327-jesse ’s coughed up . Now , what ’s the current status with [Mr Van Der Haus]_{117-mr van der haus} ? ’ [I]_327-jesse exhale in relief , launching into an enthusiastic update on [The Life Building]_{2829-the life building} , glad to be off the subject of [The Lord of [the Manor]_{2356-the manor}]_{3169-the lord of the manor} . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] going to kill [him]_327-jesse ! [I]_2342-matt walk out of [[Patrick]_327-jesse ’s office]_{279-the office} and [Tom]_60-tom nudges [my]_2342-matt shoulder , giggling as [he]_60-tom passes . ‘ Do n’t ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt warn . ‘ That could have been worse , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_{[54-victoria]} [Victoria]_54-victoria comments . [She]_54-victoria ’s right . It could have been a disaster . [I]_2342-matt leave [the office]_{279-the office} and walk down [the street]_{945-the street} to where [Jesse]_327-jesse dropped [me]_2342-matt off this morning . As [I]_2342-matt approach [Berkeley Square]_{47-berkeley square} , [I]_2342-matt ’m scared half out of [my]_2342-matt skin by some prat on a motorbike screeching past [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt compose [my]_2342-matt racing heart and carry on , coming to a stop and leaning against a wall . [I]_2342-matt pull [my]_2342-matt phone out of [my]_2342-matt bag to check [my]_2342-matt messages . There are two from [Kate]_2557-kate . [I]_2342-matt need some help . Can [u]_3171-u pop [home]_281-home & untie [me]_2342-matt plz ? [I]_2342-matt gape at [my]_2342-matt phone , quickly looking at the message details and noting it was sent at eleven . Is [she]_2557-kate still there ? [I]_2342-matt open the next . Do n’t panic ! [Sam]_1914-sam ’s being a knob . [I]_2342-matt would love 2 c [your]_3173-your face . Xxx Oh yes , [Sam]_1914-sam [the comedian]_1914-sam . But a small part of [me]_2342-matt wonders if there ’s an element of truth in [his]_1914-sam joke . [Jesse]_327-jesse was n’t at all surprised when [I]_2342-matt mentioned it to [him]_1611-he . Fun , [Kate]_2557-kate said . Hmmm . [I]_2342-matt bet . [I]_2342-matt look at the time . It ’s five past one . Okay , [he]_1611-he ’s late and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] offended . How long should [I]_2342-matt wait ? [I]_2342-matt ponder how desperate [I]_2342-matt am by standing here and glance up to be confronted with the handsome face [I]_2342-matt love so much . [He]_1611-he ’s straddling the screeching motorbike that [I]_2342-matt want to smash into a million pieces . [I]_2342-matt feel [my]_2342-matt lips curve into a semi grin as [I]_2342-matt push [myself]_2342-matt away from the wall and walk over to [him]_1611-he . [He]_1611-he ’s just beyond sexy on [that death trap]_{1612-that death trap} . ‘ Good afternoon , [lady]_65-ha . ’_[1611-he] [He]_1611-he sits on [the bike]_{1613-the bike} with [his]_1611-he helmet resting between [his]_1611-he thighs , wearing no leather , just jeans and a white t - shirt . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help but think how irresponsible it is . [He]_1611-he looks delicious , though . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[1611-he] a menace . ’ [I]_2342-matt scorn , coming to a stop in front of [him]_1611-he . ‘_[2342-matt] Did [I]_2342-matt scare [you]_2342-matt ? ’ [He]_1611-he secures [his]_1611-he helmet on the handle bars of [his]_1611-he bike . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes . That thing needs a noise risk assessment . ’ [I]_2342-matt complain . ‘_[2342-matt] This thing is a Ducati 1098 . Watch [your]_2342-matt mouth . ’ [He]_1611-he slips [his]_1611-he arms around [my]_2342-matt waist and yanks [me]_2342-matt onto [his]_1611-he lap . ‘_[2342-matt] Kiss [me]_2342-matt . ’ [he]_1611-he breathes . [He]_1611-he claims [my]_2342-matt lips , making a dramatic display of possessing [my]_2342-matt mouth for all to see . [I]_2342-matt hear [jeers]_3175-jeers and taunts from passersby , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t care . [I]_2342-matt wrap [my]_2342-matt arms around [his]_1611-he neck and let [him]_1611-he have [me]_2342-matt . It ’s only been a few hours , but [I]_2342-matt ’ve missed [him]_1611-he . Suddenly , it occurs to [me]_2342-matt that [we]_3176-we ’re_[2342-matt] a hundred yards from [[my]_2342-matt office]_{1011-my office} and [Patrick]_327-jesse could breeze out at any moment . If [he]_327-jesse sees [me]_2342-matt cavorting with [Mr Ward]_327-jesse , [he]_327-jesse ’ll jump to the obvious conclusion : [I]_2342-matt ’m giving special treatment at the expense of [his]_327-jesse profitability . After that meeting , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] already skating on wafer thin ice . [I]_2342-matt wriggle to free [myself]_2342-matt , but [he]_327-jesse just increases [his]_327-jesse hold on [me]_2342-matt , pressing [his]_327-jesse lips harder to [mine]_2342-matt . [My]_2342-matt attempted escape becomes fraught and desperate the tighter [he]_327-jesse holds [me]_2342-matt . Placing [my]_2342-matt hands into [his]_327-jesse chest , [I]_2342-matt push against [him]_327-jesse , and [he]_327-jesse eventually frees [my]_2342-matt lips , but not [my]_2342-matt body . [He]_327-jesse narrows fierce eyes . ‘ What do [you]_1616-you think [you]_1616-you ’re_[327-jesse] doing ? ’ ‘_[327-jesse] Let [me]_2342-matt go . ’ [I]_327-jesse strain against [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[327-jesse] Hey . Let ’s get one thing straight , [lady]_65-ha . [You]_1616-you do n’t dictate when and where [I]_2342-matt kiss [you]_1616-you , or for how long . ’ [He]_327-jesse ’s deadly serious . Self - assured control freak ! [I]_65-ha use all [my]_65-ha strength to free [myself]_65-ha , failing miserably . [I]_65-ha ’m_[65-ha] out of breath . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse , if [Patrick]_327-jesse sees [me]_65-ha with [you]_327-jesse , [I]_65-ha ’m_[65-ha] in all kinds of shit . Let [me]_2342-matt go ! ’ To [my]_2342-matt utter shock , [he]_1617-he releases [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt scramble onto [the pavement]_{2745-the pavement} to straighten [myself]_2342-matt out . When [I]_2342-matt look up , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] met with the filthiest scowl [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever encountered . [He]_1617-he ’s proper glaring at [me]_2342-matt . It makes [me]_2342-matt mad . And what ’s all that about kisses where ever , however and for as long as [he]_1617-he pleases ? That ’s taking [his]_1617-he controlling tendencies to a whole new level . ‘ What the fuck are [you]_1618-you talking about ? ’_[1617-he] [he]_1617-he shouts . ‘ And watch [your]_1618-you mouth ! ’_[1617-he] ‘ [You]_1618-you , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt start accusingly , ‘ have not paid [your]_1618-you bill , and now [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] supposed to be giving [you]_1618-you a polite reminder . [I]_2342-matt was forced to give some spiel about [you]_1618-you being away . ’ Could a full on kiss be considered a polite reminder ? [Jesse]_327-jesse would probably think so . ‘_[2342-matt] Consider [me]_2342-matt reminded . Now , get [your]_1618-you arse here . ’ Oh , if looks could kill . ‘_[2342-matt] No ! ’ [I]_2342-matt say incredulously . [He]_327-jesse really does n’t like being defied . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not risking [my]_2342-matt job security , just so [I]_2342-matt do n’t upset [Mr Control Freak]_327-jesse [here]_314-here . [He]_327-jesse looks at [me]_2342-matt in complete disbelief , dismounting [his]_327-jesse bike in the most spectacular fashion , [his]_327-jesse jeans stretching tightly over [his]_327-jesse magnificent thighs . [I]_2342-matt shift on [my]_2342-matt feet . [I]_2342-matt ’m way too affected by [this man]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse glares at [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Three , ’ [I]_2342-matt gape . [He]_327-jesse would n’t ? Not in the middle of [Berkeley Square]_{47-berkeley square} . It would look like [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] being abducted , raped and murdered all at once ! Obviously , [I]_2342-matt know different , but it wo n’t look good to [an outsider]_{1620-an outsider} , and [I]_2342-matt hate to think what [Jesse]_327-jesse is capable of if [someone]_587-someone tries to pull [him]_327-jesse off [me]_2342-matt . [His]_327-jesse lips spread into a straight line of displeasure , while [he]_327-jesse drills holes into [me]_2342-matt with [his]_327-jesse hard stare . ‘ Two , ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse grates through gritted teeth . Think , think , think . [I]_2342-matt huff . ‘ Oh , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not getting into a row with [you]_1622-you in [the middle of [Berkeley Square]_{47-berkeley square}]_{1623-the middle of berkeley square} . [You]_1622-you ’re [a child]_{869-a child} sometimes ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt pivot and start walking away . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know why [I]_2342-matt ’m doing this , [he]_327-jesse ’s like an unexploded bomb , but [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to hold [my]_2342-matt own here . [He]_327-jesse ’s being stupidly unreasonable , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] putting [my]_2342-matt foot down . [I]_2342-matt feel [him]_327-jesse close behind [me]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt stalk towards [Bond Street]_{49-bond street} , but [I]_2342-matt charge on . There ’s a cute boutique up [here]_314-here . [I]_2342-matt ’ll escape in there . ‘ [One]_1110-one ! ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse yells . [I]_2342-matt carry on walking . ‘ Fuck off ! [You]_1625-you ’re_[2342-matt] being unreasonable and unfair . ’ [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] pushing [my]_2342-matt luck now , swearing and disobeying , but [I]_2342-matt ’m that mad ! ‘_[2342-matt] MOUTH ! What ’s so unreasonable about wanting to kiss [you]_1625-you ? ’ Good grief . Is [he]_327-jesse that self - absorbed ? ‘_[1625-you] [You]_1625-you know damn well what ’s unreasonable about it . And it ’s unfair because [you]_1625-you ’re trying to make [me]_2342-matt feel shitty about it . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt enter [the store]_{2819-the shop} , leaving [him]_327-jesse pacing up and down on [the pavement]_{2745-the pavement} , looking through the window every now and then . [I]_2342-matt knew [he]_327-jesse would n’t come in . [I]_2342-matt ’m not oblivious to the fact that [he]_327-jesse looks raging mad and [I]_2342-matt have to leave [the shop]_{2819-the shop} at some point , but [I]_2342-matt need a few moments alone to collect [myself]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt start mooching about . An overdressed , over made up girl approaches [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Can [I]_2342-matt help [you]_1625-you ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m just browsing , thanks . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ This section is all new season stock , ’_[1628-she] [She]_1628-she runs [her]_1628-she arm along a suspended rail of dresses . ‘ [We]_3180-we have some beautiful dresses . Please , just ask if [you]_1625-you need another size . ’_[1628-she] [She]_1628-she smiles . ‘ Thank [you]_1625-you . ’_[1628-she] [I]_2342-matt start cruising through the rails , spotting some truly gorgeous dresses – albeit stupid prices , but gorgeous nevertheless . [I]_2342-matt pick up a fitted , cream silk , sleeveless affair . It ’s shorter than [I]_2342-matt usually wear , but lovely . ‘ [You]_1625-you ’re_[2342-matt] not wearing that ! ’ [I]_2342-matt snap [my]_2342-matt head up and see [Jesse]_327-jesse stood in the doorway , looking at the dress like it could spit poison . Oh , how embarrassing ! [The sales assistant]_{3181-the sales assistant} looks wide eyed at [Jesse]_327-jesse and back to [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt half smile at [her]_1625-you . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] horrified . Who the bloody hell does [he]_1629-he think [he]_1629-he is ? [I]_2342-matt throw [him]_1629-he [my]_2342-matt dirtiest look , mouth fuck off and watch as the proverbial steam fires out of [his]_1629-he ears . [I]_2342-matt turn to [the assistant]_{1630-the assistant} . ‘ Have [you]_2342-matt anything shorter . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask sweetly . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ! ’_[1629-he] [he]_1629-he barks . ‘ Do n’t push [me]_1629-he . ’_[1629-he] [I]_2342-matt ignore [him]_1629-he , keeping [my]_2342-matt eyes on [the assistant]_{1630-the assistant} expectantly . [The poor girl]_{1631-the poor girl} looks like [she]_{1631-the poor girl} could have a panic attack , [her]_{1631-the poor girl} gaze flicking , very nervously , from [me]_2342-matt to [Jesse]_327-jesse and back again . ‘ No , [I]_{1631-the poor girl} do n’t think so . ’_{[1631-the poor girl]} [she]_{1631-the poor girl} says quietly . Okay , now [I]_2342-matt ’m feeling sorry for [her]_{1631-the poor girl} . [I]_2342-matt should n’t be dragging [her]_{1631-the poor girl} into this pathetic disagreement over a dress . ‘_[2342-matt] Okay , [I]_2342-matt ’ll take this one . ’ [I]_212-urh smile , handing [her]_{1631-the poor girl} the dress . [She]_{1631-the poor girl} looks at [me]_212-urh , then at [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘_[212-urh] [Urh]_212-urh … is this the correct size for [you]_212-urh ? ’ ‘_[212-urh] It ’s a ten ? ’ [I]_212-urh ask . [I]_212-urh can literally feel [the shop]_{2819-the shop} shaking under [his]_212-urh wrath . ‘_[212-urh] It is , but [I]_2342-matt would recommend that [you]_212-urh try it on , [we]_1632-me do n’t offer refunds . ’ [she]_{1631-the poor girl} advises [me]_1632-me . Well , [I]_1632-me was going to risk it not fitting , but at that price , maybe not . [She]_{1631-the poor girl} shows [me]_1632-me to [a changing room]_{3183-a changing room} , hanging the dress on a fancy hook for [me]_1632-me . ‘_[1632-me] Just call if [you]_212-urh require any help . ’ [She]_{1631-the poor girl} smiles , pulling the velvet curtain across , leaving [me]_327-jesse and the dress alone . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] being as pathetic as [Jesse]_327-jesse by doing this ; [I]_2342-matt ’m purposely pushing [him]_{1633-the man who made me sleep in a winter jumper in the middle of spring} . [We]_3184-we ’re_[2342-matt] talking about [the man who made [me]_2342-matt sleep in a winter jumper in the middle of spring]_{1633-the man who made me sleep in a winter jumper in the middle of spring} because [another male]_{1634-another male} was in the flat . Is this necessary ? [I]_2342-matt decide it is – [he]_{1633-the man who made me sleep in a winter jumper in the middle of spring} ca n’t behave like this . [I]_2342-matt fight [my]_2342-matt way into the dress , struggling with the zipper where it meets the seam on the bust line . [I]_2342-matt ’m not giving up . [I]_72-jesus know if [I]_72-jesus can just get it over that line of stitching , it ’ll be just fine . [I]_72-jesus smooth down the front of the dress . It feels lovely . Pulling the curtain across , [I]_72-jesus stand back from the floor length mirror to take a good look . Wow ! This dress really does it for [me]_72-jesus . It compliments [my]_72-jesus olive skin and dark hair perfectly . ‘_[72-jesus] Oh , [Jesus]_72-jesus , [Mary]_213-mary and [Joseph]_95-joseph ! ’ [I]_72-jesus swivel , finding [Jesse]_327-jesse gripping [his]_327-jesse hair , pacing up and down . [He]_327-jesse looks like [he]_327-jesse ’s been [Taser gunned]_{214-taser gunned} . [He]_327-jesse stops , looks at [me]_72-jesus , opens [his]_327-jesse mouth , snaps it shut and starts with the pacing again . [I]_72-jesus ’m_[72-jesus] quite amused . [He]_1635-he stops stalking and looks at [me]_2342-matt , all wide eyed and traumatised . ‘ [You]_1636-you ’re_[1635-he] not ... [you]_1636-you … [you]_1636-you can’t ... [Ava]_832-ava … [baby]_832-ava … oh , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t look at [you]_1636-you ! ’ [He]_1635-he walks out adjusting [his]_1635-he groin , muttering some crap about [an intolerable female]_{3185-an intolerable female} and heart attacks . Then [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] alone with the dress again . [The assistant]_{1630-the assistant} approaches with caution . ‘ The dress looks incredible . ’_{[1630-the assistant]} [she]_{1630-the assistant} says quietly , looking over [her]_{1630-the assistant} shoulder for [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s whereabouts . ‘ Thank [you]_1636-you , [I]_{1630-the assistant} ’ll take it . ’_{[1630-the assistant]} The dress is easier to remove than it is to get on . [I]_2342-matt hand it over to [the assistant]_{1630-the assistant} and get [myself]_2342-matt dressed . When [I]_2342-matt exit [the changing rooms]_{1638-the changing rooms} , [Jesse]_327-jesse is inspecting some very high heels . The look of mystification on [his]_327-jesse beautiful face makes [me]_2342-matt melt slightly , but then [he]_327-jesse spots [me]_2342-matt , shoves them back and scowls at [me]_2342-matt . And [I]_2342-matt remember … [I’m]_215-i’m furious with [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt get [my]_2342-matt purse from [my]_2342-matt bag and hand [my]_2342-matt credit card over . Five hundred quid for a dress ? It is way too extravagant , but [I]_2342-matt ’m being defiant . And [I]_2342-matt called [him]_327-jesse [a child]_{1631-the poor girl} ? This is ridiculous . Where did [he]_327-jesse get the idea that [he]_327-jesse has the right to call the shots of [my]_2342-matt wardrobe choice ? [The assistant]_327-jesse begins wrapping the dress in all sorts of fancy tissue paper . [I]_2342-matt want to tell [her]_{1631-the poor girl} to shove it in a bag and be done with it , before [Jesse]_327-jesse resorts to ripping it apart . But [I]_2342-matt fear [the poor girl]_{1631-the poor girl} might lose [her]_{1631-the poor girl} job if [she]_{1631-the poor girl} did something as common as that . So , [I]_2342-matt resign [myself]_2342-matt to shutting up and waiting patiently while [she]_{1631-the poor girl} does [her]_{1631-the poor girl} thing . After an age of wrapping , folding , tucking in and punching in [my]_2342-matt pin number , [the assistant]_327-jesse hands [me]_2342-matt the bag . ‘_[2342-matt] Enjoy the dress , [Madam]_216-madam . It really did look lovely on [you]_216-madam . ’ [She]_216-madam flicks a cautious glace at [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘_[216-madam] Thank [you]_216-madam , ’ [I]_2342-matt smile . Now , how to get out of [the store]_{1626-the store} ? [I]_2342-matt turn , finding [Jesse]_327-jesse filling the doorway , still scowling and still brooding . [I]_2342-matt walk with purpose , [I]_2342-matt do n’t really feel , and stop in front of [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] really crapping [myself]_2342-matt , but [I]_2342-matt wo n’t let [him]_327-jesse see that . ‘ Excuse [me]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse looks at [me]_2342-matt , then at the bag . ‘ [You]_216-madam ’ve just wasted hundreds of pounds . [You]_216-madam ’re_[327-jesse] not wearing that dress . ’ [he]_327-jesse says emphatically . ‘_[2342-matt] Excuse [me]_2342-matt , please . ’ [I]_2342-matt accentuate the please . [His]_327-jesse lips press into a straight line as [he]_327-jesse shifts [his]_327-jesse tall , lean body to the side , leaving a gap for [me]_2342-matt to pass . Stepping out onto [the street]_{279-the office} , [I]_2342-matt head towards [the office]_{279-the office} . [I]_2342-matt ’ve only had forty minutes , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not spending the rest of [my]_2342-matt lunch break arguing over touching in public and [my]_2342-matt wardrobe choice . Today started so well … when [I]_2342-matt was complying . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_327-jesse hot breath on [my]_2342-matt neck . ‘ Zero , ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt yelp as [I]_2342-matt ’m yanked into [an alleyway]_{3189-an alleyway} and shoved up against a wall . [His]_327-jesse lips smash to [mine]_2342-matt , [his]_327-jesse hips grinding against [my]_2342-matt lower stomach , [his]_327-jesse raging arousal evident beneath the button fly of [his]_327-jesse jeans . [He]_327-jesse ’s turned on by getting cranky over a dress ? [I]_2342-matt suppose it ’s better than being tortured . [I]_2342-matt try and resist the invasion of [his]_327-jesse tongue … a little . Ah … it ’s no good . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] instantly consumed by [him]_327-jesse and the need to have [him]_327-jesse all over [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt link [my]_2342-matt arms around [his]_327-jesse neck , accepting [him]_327-jesse willingly , absorbing [his]_327-jesse intrusion and meeting [his]_327-jesse tongue , stroke for stroke . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not going to let [you]_1640-you wear that dress . ’ [he]_327-jesse moans into [my]_1640-you mouth . ‘_[1640-you] [You]_1640-you ca n’t tell [me]_2342-matt what [I]_2342-matt can and ca n’t wear . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Stop [me]_2342-matt . ’ [he]_327-jesse challenges . ‘_[2342-matt] It ’s just a dress . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] It ’s not just a dress on [you]_1640-you , [Ava]_832-ava . [You]_1640-you ’re not wearing it . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse pushes [his]_327-jesse groin into [my]_2342-matt lower stomach , a clear demonstration of what the dress does to [him]_327-jesse , and [I]_2342-matt know [he]_327-jesse ’s thinking [other men]_{1641-other men} will have the same reaction . [Crazy man]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt exhale wearily . Buying the dress is one thing . Putting it on and making it to [the pub]_{1642-the pub} , is another challenge entirely . [I]_2342-matt ’m twenty six years old , and [he]_327-jesse said [himself]_327-jesse [I]_2342-matt have great legs . [I]_2342-matt decide [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not going to get anywhere with this . Not now , anyway . [I]_2342-matt do , however , intend to discuss , in full detail , [his]_327-jesse illusions that [he]_327-jesse has control over [my]_2342-matt wardrobe . In fact , [we]_1643-we need to talk about [his]_327-jesse unreasonableness full stop – but not now . [I]_2342-matt only have twenty minutes left of [my]_2342-matt lunch break , and [I]_2342-matt highly expect that conversation to take considerably longer . ‘ Thank [you]_2342-matt for the cake . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say as [he]_327-jesse kisses every inch of [my]_2342-matt face . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[327-jesse] welcome . Did [you]_2342-matt eat it ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Yes , it was delicious . ’ [I]_2342-matt kiss the corner of [his]_327-jesse mouth , rubbing [my]_2342-matt cheek up [his]_327-jesse stubble . A low rumble escapes [his]_327-jesse lips as [I]_2342-matt hum in [his]_327-jesse ear and nuzzle into [his]_327-jesse neck , inhaling [his]_327-jesse lovely fresh water scent . [I]_2342-matt just want to crawl inside [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not supposed to be spending any more time on [you]_2342-matt until [you]_2342-matt ’ve settled [your]_2342-matt bill . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hold onto [him]_327-jesse , squeezing a little tighter as [he]_327-jesse nibbles at [my]_2342-matt ear lobe . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’ll trample [anyone who tries to stop [me]_327-jesse]_{3190-anyone who tries to stop me} . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse licks up the edge of [my]_2342-matt ear , triggering a shiver to ride through [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’ve no doubt [he]_327-jesse will . [The man]_327-jesse is crazy beyond crazy . Why is [he]_327-jesse like this ? ‘ Why are [you]_327-jesse so unreasonable ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse pulls back and looks at [me]_2342-matt , surprise at [my]_2342-matt question evident on [his]_327-jesse stunning , stubbled face . [His]_327-jesse frown line jumps into position . ‘ [I]_327-jesse do n’t know . Can [I]_327-jesse ask [you]_327-jesse the same question ? ’_[327-jesse] [My]_2342-matt mouth falls open . [Me]_2342-matt ? [This man]_327-jesse is crazy delusional . [His]_327-jesse list of misdemeanours goes on and on . [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head on a frown . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’d better get back to [the office]_{279-the office} . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse sighs . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’ll walk [you]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] ‘ Half way , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t be seen to be entertaining [clients]_424-clients for lunch without [Patrick]_327-jesse knowing , especially [ones in debt]_{3193-ones in debt} , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt grumble . ‘ Pay [your]_327-jesse bill ! ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse rolls [his]_327-jesse eyes . ‘ [God]_68-god forbid [Patrick]_327-jesse should find out that [you]_327-jesse ’re_[327-jesse] having [your]_1644-your brain fucked out by [a non - paying client]_2342-matt . ’ A small smirk breaks the corners of [his]_327-jesse mouth as [I]_1646-i gasp in shock at [his]_327-jesse crude summary of [our]_1646-i relationship . ‘_[1646-i] Shall [we]_1646-i ? ’ [He]_327-jesse waves [his]_327-jesse arm in the direction of [the alley entrance]_{3194-the alley entrance} on a smirk . [Fucked]_217-fucked ? Well , [we]_1646-i had , [I]_1646-i suppose . But hearing the statement from [him]_327-jesse hits a nerve . [We]_1646-i walk towards [[my]_1646-i office]_{1011-my office} , and the silence is uncomfortable – for [me]_1646-i , anyway . [I]_1646-i ’m_[1646-i] totally wounded by [his]_2342-matt statement . Is that how [he]_2342-matt sees [me]_2342-matt ? Like a little play thing [he]_2342-matt gets to fuck and control ? [I]_2342-matt wilt on the inside and , yet again , contemplate the agony that [I]_2342-matt ’m setting [myself]_2342-matt up for . [The man]_2342-matt throws off so many mixed signals ; [my]_2342-matt poor ego ca n’t keep up . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_2342-matt hand brush against [mine]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt automatically pull it away . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] really sulking . On a slight growl , [he]_2342-matt tries again . [I]_2342-matt say nothing but pull [my]_2342-matt hand away . [I]_2342-matt ’m in a mood and want [him]_2342-matt to know it . [He]_2342-matt ’ll get the message . [He]_2342-matt does n’t . [He]_2342-matt grabs [my]_2342-matt hand again , holding it in a vice grip , to the point of pain . It ’s what [I]_2342-matt would have expected . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] beginning to read [this man]_327-jesse like a book . [I]_2342-matt flex [my]_2342-matt fingers , looking up to see [his]_327-jesse fixed glower fade into contentment , as [I]_2342-matt give up fighting and let [him]_327-jesse keep hold of [me]_2342-matt . Let [him]_327-jesse ? Like [I]_2342-matt have any other option . At this exact moment , [the fates]_{1648-the fates} thought it would be riotously funny to send [[Matt]_2342-matt ’s friend]_{1649-matt ’s friend} , [James]_218-james , bowling around [the corner]_{1650-the corner} and down [the street]_{945-the street} towards [us]_1652-us . [I]_2342-matt try [my]_2342-matt damnedest to free [my]_2342-matt hand , but [he]_327-jesse just increases the pressure around it . ‘ Shit ! That ’s [[Matt]_2342-matt ’s friend]_{1649-matt ’s friend} . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt spit urgently . [His]_327-jesse scowl is back when [he]_327-jesse whips [his]_327-jesse face to [mine]_2342-matt . ‘ Mouth , [[your]_2342-matt ex]_{1649-matt ’s friend} ? ’_[327-jesse] ‘ Yes , let go . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt try to prize [his]_327-jesse fingers off , but it ’s useless . After [Matt]_2342-matt ’s “ [I]_2342-matt want [you]_2342-matt back ” plea , [his]_327-jesse subsequent “ [I]_2342-matt ’m so sorry ” speech and general crappy situation at the moment , it would be unfair for [me]_2342-matt to rub [his]_327-jesse face in it . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt told [you]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . [I]_2342-matt ’ll trample . ’ [he]_327-jesse warns , looking straight ahead at [James]_218-james , [his]_327-jesse face completely unaffected and determined , [his]_327-jesse grip harsh . [I]_2342-matt try holding [him]_327-jesse back , giving [me]_2342-matt time to get [myself]_2342-matt free and avoid the impending disaster that would be [James]_218-james clocking [me]_2342-matt hand in hand with [another man]_{3196-another man} . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not one to cause [anyone]_2475-anyone any unnecessary hurt , and this is completely unnecessary . [Matt]_2342-matt is feeling crappy enough , without [Kate]_2557-kate ’s snipe being confirmed . [I]_2342-matt continue to struggle and [Jesse]_327-jesse continues to be a complete twat . [I]_2342-matt am , quite literally , dragged closer and closer to [James]_218-james . It ’s only seconds before [he]_218-james looks up from [his]_218-james phone and spots [me]_2342-matt . [He]_218-james might not look up . Maybe [we]_1654-we ’ll pass on [the street]_{945-the street} and that will be it . Oh , [I]_2342-matt hope so , because there ’s not a chance of [me]_2342-matt shaking [Jesse]_327-jesse off , and an even lesser chance of [him]_327-jesse being reasonable and letting [me]_2342-matt go . As [we]_1654-we near , [I]_2342-matt resolve to stop struggling and drawing attention to [myself]_2342-matt . [James]_218-james is pretty wrapped up doing something on [his]_218-james phone , the chances of [him]_218-james looking up getting slimmer by each step [we]_1654-we take towards [him]_218-james . [I]_2342-matt mentally send a string of explicit language to [Jesse]_327-jesse , jerking [my]_2342-matt hand to reinforce [my]_2342-matt anger , but [he]_218-james just looks straight ahead , continuing with [his]_218-james purposeful strides . ‘ [Trample]_219-trample . ’_[218-james] [he]_218-james growls . Just as [we]_1654-we ’re passing on [the pavement]_{2745-the pavement} , [I]_218-james start to relax . [We]_1654-we ’re_[218-james] nearly past [James]_218-james , but then [Jesse]_327-jesse speaks . ‘ [You]_218-james got the time ? ’_[327-jesse] WHAT ? [The fucking stupid , stupid man]_{1656-the fucking stupid , stupid man} ! [I]_2342-matt die a thousand deaths on the spot as [I]_2342-matt ’m forced to stand there holding hands with [Jesse]_327-jesse , right in front of [James]_218-james . [I]_2342-matt want to point to the dirty great big Rolex on [his]_327-jesse wrist , or yank it up and tell [him]_327-jesse the bloody time [myself]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse really is [a self - absorbed , unreasonable rogue]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] Yeah , sure it ’s ... [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [James]_218-james looks at [me]_218-james , [his]_218-james brow completely furrowed . [My]_218-james brain ’s in complete meltdown , trying to figure out what message it should be sending to [my]_218-james mouth . ‘_[218-james] [James]_218-james , ’ [I]_218-james just about manage . [James]_218-james does a tennis spectator performance , [his]_218-james eyes flicking from [me]_218-james to [Jesse]_327-jesse and back again . ‘_[218-james] Urhhhh … are [you]_218-james okay ? ’ ‘_[218-james] Yes . ’ [My]_218-james voice is high pitched and squeaky . [He]_327-jesse regards [me]_218-james disapprovingly , which is bloody rich , considering [he]_327-jesse was [[Matt]_2342-matt ’s right hand man in all of [his]_327-jesse transgressions]_327-jesse . [I]_218-james do n’t even know why [I]_218-james ’m_[218-james] bothering to get [my]_2342-matt knickers in such a twist . After everything [Matt]_2342-matt has done , what do [I]_2342-matt care if [he]_2342-matt receives confirmation of [me]_2342-matt seeing [another man]_{3196-another man} ? Now , [I]_2342-matt just feel furious with [Jesse]_327-jesse for taking it upon [himself]_{3196-another man} to decide when and how things play out . ‘ Time ? ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse prompts shortly . [I]_2342-matt hope [I]_2342-matt ’m [the only one who can detect the hostility emanating from [him]_327-jesse]_{3196-another man} . [James]_218-james turns [his]_218-james stare on [Jesse]_327-jesse , giving [him]_327-jesse the once over , faltering when [he]_327-jesse clocks the Rolex . [I]_2342-matt mentally plead for [him]_327-jesse to give [Jesse]_327-jesse the time and not poke the rattle snake . [James]_218-james can be as cocky as [Matt]_2342-matt , and upsetting [Jesse]_327-jesse would be a huge mistake . ‘_[2342-matt] Yeah , ’ [He]_218-james glances down at [his]_218-james phone . ‘_[2342-matt] It ’s ten to two , [mate]_1658-mate . ’ [Jesse]_327-jesse does n’t thank [him]_327-jesse . Instead , [he]_327-jesse releases [my]_1658-mate hand , throws [his]_327-jesse arms around [my]_1658-mate shoulder and pulls [me]_1658-mate into [his]_327-jesse side , placing [his]_327-jesse lips gently on [my]_1658-mate temple . [I]_1658-mate look up at [him]_327-jesse , shaking [my]_1658-mate head in dismay . [He]_327-jesse ’s trampling . [His]_327-jesse upper body is puffing , and short of banging [his]_327-jesse fist on [his]_327-jesse chest , [he]_327-jesse may as well be pissing up the side of [my]_1658-mate leg . [James]_218-james watches , all wide eyed , as [Jesse]_327-jesse leads [us]_1660-we away from [him]_218-james . [I]_1658-mate ’m_[1658-mate] completely speechless . [He]_327-jesse ’s just made reference to [our]_1660-we relationship as little more than fucking , and now [he]_327-jesse ’s marking [his]_327-jesse territory . [I]_2342-matt ’m so confused by all of this . If [I]_327-jesse had the courage , [I]_327-jesse would just come outright and ask [him]_327-jesse . Why ca n’t [I]_327-jesse do that ? [I]_327-jesse know why . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] worried about what [he]_327-jesse might say . [These shallow waters]_{1661-these shallow waters} are becoming trickier to navigate the more time [I]_2342-matt spend with [this man]_327-jesse . As [we]_1660-we near [[my]_2342-matt office]_{1011-my office} , [he]_327-jesse stops and gently presses [me]_2342-matt up against the wall with [his]_327-jesse body . [He]_327-jesse lowers [his]_327-jesse face to [mine]_2342-matt , [his]_327-jesse hot , minty breath warming [my]_2342-matt cheeks . ‘ Why would [you]_327-jesse not want [[your]_327-jesse ex]_{1649-matt ’s friend} to know [you]_327-jesse ’re_{[3196-another man]} fucking [another man]_{3196-another man} ? ’ There [we]_1660-we are . Fucking ! ‘_{[3196-another man]} No reason , it ’s just not necessary . ’ [I]_{3196-another man} say quietly . [He]_327-jesse reaches up , grasping [my]_{3196-another man} wrist to pull [my]_{3196-another man} hand down from [my]_{3196-another man} hair . ‘_{[3196-another man]} Now , tell [me]_2342-matt the truth . ’ [he]_327-jesse demands softly . How has [he]_327-jesse picked up on [my]_832-ava bad habit so quickly ? [I]_832-ava ’ve known [[my]_832-ava Mum]_577-mum , [Dad]_581-dad and [[my]_832-ava brother]_{2486-my brother} all of [my]_832-ava life , and [Kate]_2557-kate since [secondary school]_{3201-secondary school} . [They]_3202-they ’ve earned the right to this knowledge . ‘_[832-ava] Answer [me]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt asked [me]_2342-matt to get back together with [him]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt drop [my]_2342-matt eyes . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t look at [him]_2342-matt . Not that [I]_2342-matt should care . After all , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] only fucking [him]_2342-matt . ‘ When ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt grinds the words through clenched teeth . ‘ It was weeks ago . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_2342-matt hand tighten around [my]_2342-matt wrist as [my]_2342-matt muscles flex to raise [my]_2342-matt fingers to [my]_2342-matt hair . [I]_2342-matt ’m so bad at lying . [He]_2342-matt tips [my]_2342-matt chin up with [his]_2342-matt free hand so [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] forced to look at [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m not at all comfortable with the blackness burning in [his]_2342-matt eyes . ‘_[2342-matt] When ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Last Tuesday . ’ [I]_2342-matt whisper . [His]_2342-matt eyes narrow as [he]_2342-matt starts chomping on [his]_2342-matt bottom lip . What ’s [he]_2342-matt thinking ? ‘_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt was [your]_2342-matt something important that came up , was n’t [he]_2342-matt ? ’ Oh … dear . [He]_2342-matt ’s going to go spare . [I]_2342-matt watch as [his]_2342-matt chest puffs in and out , slowly and controlled . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not frightened – [I]_2342-matt know [he]_2342-matt wo n’t hurt [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’ve seen [his]_2342-matt reaction and subsequent prevention methods to a few bruises on [my]_2342-matt arse , but [he]_2342-matt ’s just so intense in [his]_2342-matt reactions and approaches . ‘ Yes . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt admit quietly . [I]_2342-matt physically feel the ice air emanate from [him]_2342-matt at [my]_2342-matt answer . ‘ [I]_2342-matt need to get back to work . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt add . [I]_2342-matt need to remove [myself]_2342-matt from this situation . [His]_2342-matt sludgy eyes bore into [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_2342-matt wo n’t see [him]_2342-matt again . ’_[2342-matt] It ’s another demand . This lunch hour has been a massive eye opener . [He]_2342-matt wants complete control of [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt get absolutely no say in it – none at all . Is this what [I]_2342-matt want ? [My]_2342-matt head is a riot of mixed feelings and doubts . Why did [I]_2342-matt have to go and fall in love with the ultimate , unreasonable , challenging control freak ? [I]_2342-matt wait patiently for [him]_2342-matt to release [me]_2342-matt from [his]_2342-matt grasp . [I]_2342-matt have no idea what to say . Is [he]_2342-matt waiting for [my]_2342-matt confirmation to [his]_2342-matt demand ? Should [I]_2342-matt give it ? [I]_2342-matt ’m not likely to see [Matt]_2342-matt again , not after [his]_2342-matt performance , but should [I]_2342-matt have to give [my]_2342-matt word to a man that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] , apparently , fucking ? [He]_2342-matt watches [me]_2342-matt carefully for a considerable amount of time before [his]_2342-matt forehead meets [mine]_2342-matt and [his]_2342-matt lips move up , pressing against [my]_2342-matt brow . ‘ Go to work , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt steps back . [I]_2342-matt do n’t hang about . [I]_2342-matt leave [him]_2342-matt on [the pavement]_{2745-the pavement} and walk back to [[my]_2342-matt office]_{1011-my office} as fast as [my]_2342-matt shaky legs will carry [me]_2342-matt . Pushing [my]_2342-matt way through the office door , [I]_2342-matt ’m met by [Tom]_60-tom and [Victoria]_54-victoria ’s inquisitive faces . [I]_832-ava must look as terrible as [I]_832-ava feel . [I]_832-ava hope [they]_3203-they do n’t start asking questions about [Mr Ward]_327-jesse , or about anything , actually . [I]_832-ava think [I]_832-ava ’ll fall apart . [I]_832-ava shake [my]_832-ava head at [them]_3203-they both as [I]_832-ava make [my]_832-ava way to [my]_832-ava desk . [Sally]_54-victoria walks out of [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} with a tray full of coffees . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt did n’t realise [you]_832-ava were back . Do [you]_832-ava want a tea or coffee ? ’ [I]_54-victoria want to ask [her]_832-ava if [she]_832-ava has any wine stored away in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , but [I]_54-victoria refrain . ‘_{[54-victoria]} No , thank [you]_832-ava , [Sal]_54-victoria . ’ [I]_54-victoria murmur , earning [me]_54-victoria a what - the - hell - is - going - on look from [Tom]_60-tom and [Victoria]_54-victoria . [I]_54-victoria focus [my]_54-victoria full attention on [my]_54-victoria computer screen , trying to ignore the ache dwelling deep inside [me]_54-victoria . [Jesse]_327-jesse has some serious issues with control – or power , as [he]_327-jesse calls it . [I]_54-victoria ca n’t do this – [I]_54-victoria ca n’t expose [myself]_54-victoria to guaranteed heartbreak . That ’s exactly where this is heading . [My]_54-victoria mobile rings and [I]_54-victoria ’m_{[54-victoria]} grateful for the distraction from [my]_2342-matt turmoil . It ’s [Mr Van Der Haus]_{117-mr van der haus} . Is [he]_{117-mr van der haus} back ? ‘ Hello ? ’_{[117-mr van der haus]} [His]_{117-mr van der haus} light Danish accent rolls down the telephone . ‘ Hello , [Ava]_832-ava . How did [you]_832-ava find [The Life Building]_{2829-the life building} ? [Ingrid]_194-ingrid has advised [me]_{117-mr van der haus} [your]_832-ava meeting went very well . ’_{[117-mr van der haus]} [He]_{117-mr van der haus} ’s ringing from [Denmark]_37-denmark to ask [me]_2342-matt this ? Could it not wait until [he]_{117-mr van der haus} ’s back ? ‘ Yes , very well . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know what else to say . ‘ [I]_2342-matt do hope that lovely little head of [yours]_832-ava is swimming with ideas . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] looking forward to meeting upon [my]_2342-matt return to [the UK]_{1666-the uk} . ’ [He]_{117-mr van der haus} ’s called [me]_2342-matt from [Denmark]_37-denmark . [He]_{117-mr van der haus} ’s referring to [my]_2342-matt head as pretty . Oh , please do n’t bless [me]_2342-matt with [another inappropriate client]_{3206-another inappropriate client} . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] having a hard enough time dealing with the one [I]_2342-matt ’ve got . ‘ Yes , [I]_2342-matt got [your]_2342-matt email too . [I]_2342-matt ’ll have some schemes ready for [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve practically finished the mood boards and drawings . It just came to [me]_2342-matt all of a sudden – at a moment when [my]_2342-matt brain was n’t consumed with [a certain other client]_{1667-a certain other client} . ‘ Excellent ! [I]_2342-matt shall be back in [London]_5-london next Friday . Can [we]_3207-we meet ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , of course . Any particular day ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt will have [Ingrid]_194-ingrid contact [you]_2342-matt . [She]_194-ingrid arranges [my]_2342-matt diary . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt pout to [myself]_2342-matt . How lovely to have [one person dedicated to organising [your]_1669-your life]_{1668-one person dedicated to organising your life} . [I]_2342-matt would benefit from one of those at the moment . ‘ Okay , [Mr Van Der Haus]_{117-mr van der haus} . ’_{[1668-one person dedicated to organising your life]} [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_{1668-one person dedicated to organising your life} tut . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , please . It ’s [Mikael]_118-mikael . Goodbye . ’_{[1668-one person dedicated to organising your life]} ‘ Goodbye , [Mikael]_118-mikael . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hang up and sit at [my]_2342-matt desk , tapping [my]_2342-matt tooth with [my]_2342-matt fingernail . [I]_2342-matt really do n’t know if [he]_{1668-one person dedicated to organising your life} ’s just being super friendly or super friendly . [He]_{1668-one person dedicated to organising your life} took [my]_2342-matt decline to dinner pretty well , so am [I]_2342-matt reading too much into this ? This is [Jesse Wards]_{220-jesse wards} fault , or do [I]_2342-matt have easy written on [my]_2342-matt forehead ? [I]_2342-matt instinctively reach up and rub [my]_2342-matt head . Christ , [I]_2342-matt ’m a mess . [I]_2342-matt retrieve [my]_2342-matt drawings for [The Life Building]_{2829-the life building} , spread them out on [my]_2342-matt desk , and grabbing [my]_2342-matt pencil , [I]_2342-matt start making notes . [I]_2342-matt hear [the office]_{279-the office} door open in the background , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t look up . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] on a roll with additional ideas . It ’s a welcome , and very needed , distraction . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , ’_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom calls . ‘ It ’s [someone]_587-someone for [youhoo]_3211-youhoo ! ’_[60-tom] [I]_2342-matt look up , nearly falling off [my]_2342-matt chair when [I]_2342-matt see [Jesse]_{220-jesse wards} stood , bold as brass , at the front of [the office]_{279-the office} . Oh , good [God]_68-god , what is [he]_68-god doing ? [He]_68-god walks , with complete confidence , over to [my]_2342-matt desk – all godly in [his]_68-god faded jeans , white t - shirt and ruffled hair . [I]_2342-matt notice [Tom]_60-tom and [Victoria]_54-victoria tapping [their]_1671-their pens casually on [their]_1671-their desks as [they]_1671-their follow [his]_68-god path to [me]_2342-matt . Even [Sal]_54-victoria has paused mid - fax , looking slightly confused . [He]_68-god lands at the foot of [my]_2342-matt desk , [my]_2342-matt eyes travelling up [his]_68-god body to meet [his]_68-god green gaze , the semblance of a smug , satisfied smile tickling the corners of [his]_68-god mouth . [I]_2342-matt ’m not sure what to make of this . [He]_68-god left [me]_832-ava , not half an hour ago , with shaky legs and a mind racing in confusion . The shakes have returned , except [my]_832-ava whole body is trembling now , and [my]_832-ava mind ’s a disorder of chaos and uncertainty . What ’s [he]_68-god trying to prove here ? ‘_[832-ava] [Miss O’Shea]_832-ava . ’ [he]_68-god says softly . ‘_[327-jesse] [Mr Ward]_327-jesse . ’ [I]_327-jesse greet hesitantly . [I]_327-jesse look at [him]_68-god questioningly , but [he]_68-god ’s giving nothing away . [I]_327-jesse glance across [the office]_{279-the office} , spotting three pairs of eyes flicking towards [me]_327-jesse at regular intervals . ‘_[327-jesse] Are n’t [you]_832-ava going to ask if [I]_2342-matt would like a seat ? ’ [I]_2342-matt snap [my]_2342-matt eyes back to [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] Please , ’ [I]_2342-matt indicate one of the black tub chairs on the other side of [my]_2342-matt desk . [He]_68-god pulls one out , lowering [himself]_68-god slowly into the chair . ‘_[2342-matt] What are [you]_832-ava doing ? ’ [I]_2342-matt hiss , leaning across [my]_2342-matt desk . [He]_68-god smiles that self - assured , melt - worthy smile . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m here to settle an invoice , [Miss O’Shea]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Oh , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt lean back in [my]_2342-matt chair . ‘ [Sally]_54-victoria ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt call . ‘ Can [you]_832-ava deal with [Mr Ward]_327-jesse , please ? [He]_327-jesse would like to settle [his]_327-jesse outstanding account . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt watch as [Jesse]_327-jesse shifts in [his]_327-jesse chair slightly , throwing [me]_2342-matt a critical look . [I]_2342-matt ’m not being defiant . It ’s not [my]_2342-matt job to take payment ; [I]_2342-matt would n’t know where to start . ‘_[2342-matt] Of course , ’ [Sally]_54-victoria calls . [I]_54-victoria see realisation hit [her]_54-victoria . Yes ! It ’s [the same man that screamed at [you]_54-victoria down the phone , bulldozed [the office]_{279-the office}]_{3213-the same man that screamed at you down the phone , bulldozed the office} and sent [you]_54-victoria flowers . Apparently , [I]_54-victoria drive [him]_327-jesse crazy ! [I]_54-victoria throw [her]_54-victoria a don’t - ask - just - do look , prompting [her]_54-victoria to scuttle off towards the filing cabinet . ‘_{[54-victoria]} [Sally]_54-victoria will look after [you]_54-victoria , [Mr Ward]_327-jesse . ’ [I]_54-victoria smile politely . [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s eyebrows shoot up , [his]_327-jesse frown line jumping into position . ‘_{[54-victoria]} Only [you]_54-victoria . ’ [he]_327-jesse says softly , for [my]_832-ava ears only . [He]_327-jesse makes no attempt to remove [himself]_327-jesse from [my]_832-ava desk . [He]_327-jesse just sits there – all casual and relaxed , regarding [me]_832-ava closely as [Sally]_54-victoria farts around at the filing cabinet . Hurry up ! [I]_832-ava nearly snap [my]_832-ava pencil when [I]_832-ava hear the familiar thump of [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s heavy feet from behind [me]_832-ava . This day just keeps getting better and better . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ Glancing nervously up , [I]_327-jesse see [Patrick]_327-jesse stood at the side at [my]_327-jesse desk , looking at [me]_327-jesse expectantly . [I]_327-jesse wave [my]_327-jesse pencil in the general direction of [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse , this is [Mr Ward]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse owns [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . [Mr Ward]_327-jesse , meet [Patrick Peterson]_327-jesse , [[my]_2342-matt boss]_327-jesse . ’ [I]_327-jesse throw [Jesse]_327-jesse a pleading look . ‘_[327-jesse] Ah , [Mr Ward]_327-jesse , [I]_2342-matt know [your]_2342-matt face . ’ [Patrick]_327-jesse puts [his]_327-jesse hand out . ‘_[327-jesse] [We]_1673-i met briefly at [Lusso]_66-lusso . ’ [Jesse]_327-jesse says as [he]_327-jesse stands and clasps [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s hand . Did [they]_1673-i ? [I]_1673-i see the pound signs ping into [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s delighted , pale blue eyes . ‘_[1673-i] Yes , [you]_2342-matt brought [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} . ’ [he]_327-jesse chirps joyfully . [Jesse]_327-jesse nods [his]_327-jesse confirmation . [I]_1673-i notice [Patrick]_327-jesse is n’t so worried about [his]_327-jesse outstanding bill now . [Sally]_54-victoria approaches with a copy of [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s invoice and jumps a mile when [Patrick]_327-jesse snatches it from [her]_54-victoria dainty , pasty hand . ‘_[1673-i] Have [you]_2342-matt offered [Mr Ward]_327-jesse a drink ? ’ [he]_327-jesse asks a stunned [Sally]_54-victoria . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m fine , thank [you]_2342-matt . [I]_327-jesse ’ve just come to settle [my]_327-jesse account . ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s husky tones reverberate through [me]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt sit , stuck like [velcro]_221-velcro to [my]_2342-matt chair , watching the polite exchange going on before [me]_2342-matt . How can [he]_327-jesse be so calm and collective ? [I]_2342-matt ’m sat here , tense from top to toe , twiddling [my]_2342-matt pencil nervously in [my]_2342-matt hand and keeping [my]_2342-matt mouth firmly shut . It must be obvious that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] uncomfortable , but [Patrick]_327-jesse seems oblivious . [Patrick]_327-jesse waves [Sally]_54-victoria away . ‘ [You]_54-victoria should n’t have rushed in just for this . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse flaps the outstanding invoice in the air . [I]_2342-matt scoff , following it up with a cough to disguise [my]_2342-matt reaction to [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s casualness regarding the invoice [he]_327-jesse huffed about , only a few hours ago . [He]_327-jesse ’s changed [his]_327-jesse tune . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’ve been away . [[My]_327-jesse staff]_{3215-my staff} overlooked it . ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse explains . [I]_2342-matt release a thankful rush of air . ‘ [I]_327-jesse knew there would be a perfectly reasonable explanation . Was it business or pleasure ? ’_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse sounds genuinely interested . [I]_2342-matt know different . [He]_327-jesse ’s mentally calculating how much money [he]_327-jesse might be able to make out of [Jesse]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse ’s [a dear man]_327-jesse , but [he]_327-jesse ’s mad about turnover . [Jesse]_327-jesse turns [his]_327-jesse eyes on [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Oh , definitely pleasure . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse says categorically . [I]_2342-matt shrink further into [my]_2342-matt swivel chair , feeling [my]_2342-matt face turning a thousand shades of red . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t even look [him]_327-jesse in the eye . What is [he]_327-jesse trying to do to [me]_2342-matt ? ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’d like to make some appointments with [Miss O’Shea]_832-ava while [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] here . [We]_1675-i need to get a quick turn around on this . ’ [he]_327-jesse adds surely . [Ha]_65-ha ! [I]_1675-i very nearly remind [him]_327-jesse that [he]_327-jesse , supposedly , does n’t make appointments to fuck [me]_1675-i . But if [I]_1675-i did that , [I]_1675-i suspect [I]_1675-i would firstly get the sack , and secondly , receive a sense fuck to [rival all others]_{3216-rival all others} . So , [I]_1675-i keep [my]_1675-i mouth firmly shut . Appointments ? [This man]_327-jesse is impossible . ‘_[1675-i] Absolutely , ’ [Patrick]_327-jesse rumbles . ‘_[1675-i] Are [you]_1676-you looking for a design , or [a design consultation and/or project]_{1677-a design consultation and/or project} manage ? ’ [I]_1675-i roll [my]_1675-i eyes . [I]_1675-i know the answer to this question . After [my]_1675-i perfectly exasperated eye roll is executed , [I]_1675-i lift [my]_1675-i eyes to [Jesse]_327-jesse and find [him]_327-jesse watching [me]_1675-i , clearly struggling to maintain [his]_327-jesse serious face . ‘_[1675-i] The whole package . ’ [he]_327-jesse answers . What the hell does that mean ? ‘_[222-super] [Super]_222-super ! ’ [Patrick]_327-jesse claps [his]_327-jesse hands together . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll leave [you]_1676-you with [Ava]_832-ava . [She]_832-ava ’ll take good care of [you]_1676-you . ’ [Patrick]_327-jesse offers [his]_327-jesse hand and [Jesse]_327-jesse takes it , keeping [his]_327-jesse eyes right on [me]_832-ava . [I]_832-ava ’ve never been in a more difficult situation in [my]_832-ava life . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] sweating , fidgeting and sat so far back in [my]_2342-matt chair , [I]_2342-matt ’m probably blending in with the leather . ‘_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt know [she]_832-ava will , ’ [He]_327-jesse smiles , turning [his]_327-jesse green pools back to [Patrick]_327-jesse . ‘_[832-ava] If [you]_1676-you give [me]_2342-matt [your]_1676-you company bank details , [I]_2342-matt ’ll arrange an immediate bank transfer . [I]_2342-matt ’ll also make an advanced payment on the next stage . It will save any future delays . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll get [Sally]_54-victoria to note them down for [you]_1676-you . ’ [Patrick]_327-jesse leaves [us]_3217-us , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t relax . [Jesse]_327-jesse sits back down in front of [me]_2342-matt , [his]_327-jesse irritatingly handsome face displaying an abundance of joy at [my]_2342-matt nervousness . The full package ? Definitely pleasure ? [I]_2342-matt should bash [him]_327-jesse around the head with [my]_2342-matt paper weight ! Dragging [myself]_2342-matt out of [my]_2342-matt dumbstruck state , [I]_2342-matt shift all of the drawings that are littering [my]_2342-matt desk and pull [my]_2342-matt diary over . ‘_[2342-matt] When are [you]_1676-you free ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt sound highly unprofessional and terse , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t care . [He]_2342-matt ’s taking [his]_2342-matt power trip too far now . ‘_[2342-matt] When are [you]_1676-you ? ’ [I]_2342-matt look up , finding a green , satisfied stare . [I]_2342-matt lean in . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not talking to [you]_1676-you . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt spit , rather immaturely . ‘ What about screaming for [me]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt eyes widen in shock . ‘ Neither . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ That may make business a little tricky . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt pouts , [his]_2342-matt lips dancing at the corners . ‘ Will it be business , [Mr Ward]_327-jesse , or pleasure ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Pleasure , all the way . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt answers darkly . ‘ [You]_1676-you do realise that [you]_1676-you ’re_[2342-matt] paying for [me]_2342-matt to have sex with [you]_1676-you , ’ [I]_2342-matt whisper on a hiss . ‘_[2342-matt] That , in effect , makes [me]_2342-matt a hooker ! ’ [I]_832-ava watch as a flash of anger passes over [his]_2342-matt face and [he]_2342-matt shoots forward in [his]_2342-matt chair . ‘_[832-ava] Shut up , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_2342-matt warns . ‘_[832-ava] And just so [you]_1676-you know , [you]_1676-you will be screaming later , ’ [He]_2342-matt leans back again . ‘_[832-ava] When [we]_1678-we make [friends]_2512-friends , ’ [I]_2512-friends sigh heavily . It would be better , all - round , if [I]_2512-friends dropped this contract , right now . [Patrick]_327-jesse will keel over with shock , but either way , [I]_2512-friends ’m_{[2512-friends]} totally knackered . Continue like this , [I]_2342-matt ’m bound to be rumbled . Then [he]_327-jesse really will get to fuck [me]_2342-matt when [he]_327-jesse pleases . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] losing control here . Losing control ? [I]_2342-matt laugh to [myself]_2342-matt . Have [I]_2342-matt ever had control since [this beautiful man]_327-jesse trampled into [my]_2342-matt life ? ‘ Is something funny ? ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse asks seriously . [I]_2342-matt make a meal of flicking though the pages of [my]_2342-matt diary harshly . ‘ Yes , [my]_2342-matt life , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mutter . ‘ When shall [I]_2342-matt pencil [you]_2342-matt in ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_327-jesse do n’t want to be pencilled in anywhere , pencil can be erased . ’_[327-jesse] [His]_327-jesse tone is smooth and confident . [I]_2342-matt look up from [my]_2342-matt diary and find a large , permanent , black marker pen being waved under [my]_2342-matt nose . ‘ Every day . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse states calmly . ‘ Every day ? Do n’t be so stupid ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blurt a bit too loudly . [He]_327-jesse gives [me]_2342-matt [his]_327-jesse roguish grin as [he]_327-jesse removes the lid from the marker . Reaching over , making a point of brushing [his]_327-jesse fingers over [my]_2342-matt hand , [he]_327-jesse pulls [my]_2342-matt diary away from [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt shiver , and [he]_327-jesse gives [me]_2342-matt that knowing look . Turning to tomorrow ’s page in [my]_2342-matt diary , [he]_327-jesse coolly runs a line through the middle , writing “ [Mr Ward]_327-jesse ” across the page in big , black letters . [He]_327-jesse then skims past the weekend . ‘ [You]_327-jesse ’re_[2342-matt] [mine]_2342-matt then , anyway . ’ [he]_327-jesse muses to [himself]_327-jesse . What ? Am [I]_2342-matt ? Who says ? [He]_327-jesse arrives at Monday ’s page and finds [my]_2342-matt ten o’clock appointment with [Mrs Kent]_{86-mrs kent} . Locating an eraser from [my]_2342-matt desk tidy , [he]_327-jesse slowly rubs it out , looking up at [me]_2342-matt when [he]_327-jesse leans down to blow the fragments of rubber from the page . [He]_327-jesse ’s really enjoying this , while [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sat back in [my]_2342-matt chair watching [him]_327-jesse trample all over [my]_2342-matt work diary , at the same time trying to gage how serious [he]_327-jesse is . [I]_2342-matt fear [he]_327-jesse ’s completely serious . [He]_327-jesse proceeds to put a big , black line through Monday as well . What is [he]_327-jesse doing ? [I]_2342-matt glance around [the office]_{279-the office} , noticing [[my]_2342-matt colleagues]_{437-my colleagues} have got bored of [the Jesse]_327-jesse and [Ava]_832-ava show , knuckling down with some work instead . ‘ What are [you]_1683-you doing ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask calmly . [He]_327-jesse pauses , looking up at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] making [my]_2342-matt appointments . ’ ‘_[1683-you] [You]_1683-you ’re not happy enough controlling the social aspect of [my]_2342-matt life ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m surprised at how calm [I]_2342-matt sound . [I]_2342-matt feel completely ram raided . [This man]_327-jesse has untold front and confidence . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt thought [you]_1683-you did n’t make appointments to fuck [me]_2342-matt ? ’ ‘_[1683-you] Watch [your]_1683-you mouth , ’ [he]_327-jesse cautions [me]_1683-you . ‘_[1683-you] [I]_2342-matt ’ve told [you]_1683-you before , [Ava]_832-ava . [I]_2342-matt ’ll do whatever it takes . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] For what ? ’ [My]_2342-matt voice is barely a whisper . ‘_[2342-matt] To keep [you]_1683-you , ’ [He]_327-jesse wants to keep [me]_2342-matt ? What ? For sex or more ? [I]_2342-matt do n’t ask that , though . ‘_[2342-matt] What if [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to be kept ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask instead . ‘_[2342-matt] But [you]_1683-you do , by [me]_2342-matt . This is why [I]_2342-matt ’m having such a hard time trying to figure out why [you]_1683-you keep fighting [me]_1684-he off . ’_[1684-he] [He]_1684-he returns [his]_1684-he attention to [my]_2342-matt diary and sets about putting a line through every day for the rest of the academic year . When [he]_1684-he reaches the end , [he]_1684-he slams it shut and stands . [His]_1684-he confidence knows no bounds . And how does [he]_1684-he know [I]_2342-matt want to be kept by [him]_1684-he ? Maybe , [I]_2342-matt do n’t . [Christ]_72-jesus , [I]_2342-matt ’m trying to lie to [myself]_72-jesus now . [I]_72-jesus ’m_[72-jesus] going to have to buy a new dairy . [I]_2342-matt mentally applaud [myself]_2342-matt for backing up [my]_2342-matt appointments on [my]_2342-matt email calendar , a precautionary measure in case [I]_2342-matt lost [my]_2342-matt diary , not because [some unreasonable control freak]_{1685-some unreasonable control freak} might erase [them]_{1685-some unreasonable control freak} all from [[my]_2342-matt planner]_{1686-my planner} . ‘ What time will [you]_1684-he be finished work ? ’_[1684-he] [he]_1684-he asks . ‘ Six - ish , ’_[1684-he] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [I]_2342-matt ’ve just answered that without a second ’s hesitation . ‘ -ish , ’_[1684-he] [he]_1684-he mouths , putting [his]_1684-he hand out over [my]_2342-matt desk . [He]_1684-he wants [me]_2342-matt to shake [his]_1684-he hand ? [I]_2342-matt reach up , mentally demanding [my]_2342-matt hand not to tremble , and place it gently in [his]_1684-he . The familiar fizzle flies through [me]_2342-matt when [our]_1687-our hands connect , [his]_1684-he fingers brushing gently over [my]_2342-matt wrist as [he]_1684-he slowly strokes down the centre of [my]_2342-matt palm . [My]_2342-matt eyes fly up to [his]_1684-he . ‘ See ? ’_[1684-he] [he]_1684-he whispers , before pulling away and striding out of [[my]_2342-matt office]_{1011-my office} , collecting an envelope from [Sally]_54-victoria ’s outstretched hand on the way . Holy fucking hell ! [My]_2342-matt heart is convulsing in [my]_2342-matt chest , and [I]_2342-matt ’m breaking out in an uncomfortable sweat as [I]_2342-matt sit at [my]_2342-matt desk , frantically fanning [my]_2342-matt burning face with [my]_2342-matt coffee coaster . How does [he]_1684-he do these things to [me]_2342-matt ? [Tom]_60-tom looks over at [me]_2342-matt with wide eyes and a whoa stare . [I]_2342-matt blow out a long , lung full of air in an attempt to regulate [my]_2342-matt hammering heart . [He]_1684-he wants to keep [me]_2342-matt ? What ? Keep [me]_2342-matt and control [me]_2342-matt , keep [me]_2342-matt to love [me]_2342-matt or keep [me]_2342-matt to fuck [me]_2342-matt senseless ? [He]_1684-he ’s already fucked [me]_2342-matt pretty senseless . [He]_1684-he must have , because [I]_2342-matt keep going back for more . No , [I]_2342-matt do n’t keep going back . [I]_2342-matt keep getting forced back . Is [he]_1684-he forcing [me]_2342-matt , or do [I]_2342-matt go willingly ? Oh , [I]_2342-matt do n’t even know anymore . Oh Lord , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] a fucking mess ! [I]_2342-matt start folding away [my]_2342-matt drawings of [The Life Building]_{2829-the life building} before pulling [my]_2342-matt email calendar up so [I]_2342-matt can start transferring [my]_2342-matt appointments back into [my]_2342-matt diary . Oh , [I]_2342-matt ’m in some major deep shit . But [he]_1690-him ’s totally right ... [I]_2342-matt do want to be kept by [him]_1690-him . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] completely addicted . [I]_2342-matt need [him]_1690-him . Chapter 28 [I]_2342-matt ’m the last to leave [the office]_{390-the building} . [I]_2342-matt set the alarm , lock the office door behind [me]_2342-matt and jump out of [my]_2342-matt skin when [I]_2342-matt hear the familiar scream of a high powered engine . [I]_2342-matt turn around , seeing [Jesse]_327-jesse pull up to the kerb on [his]_327-jesse bike . [I]_2342-matt sigh , [my]_2342-matt shoulders slumping dramatically . [I]_2342-matt do n’t even know if [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] pissed anymore . Mental exhaustion has engulfed [me]_2342-matt . But [I]_2342-matt do know that [I]_2342-matt ’m grateful [Patrick]_327-jesse has already left [the building]_{390-the building} . [He]_327-jesse takes [his]_327-jesse helmet off , dismounts from [his]_327-jesse bike and approaches [me]_2342-matt looking like [he]_327-jesse ’s had a perfectly normal day . [I]_2342-matt feel defeated as [I]_2342-matt look up at [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] Good day at work ? ’ [he]_327-jesse asks . [I]_2342-matt gape . [He]_327-jesse ’s so thick skinned . ‘_[2342-matt] Not really . ’ [I]_2342-matt answer on a frown , [my]_2342-matt tone dripping with sarcasm . [He]_327-jesse observes [me]_2342-matt for a while , chewing [his]_327-jesse bottom lip , the cogs kicking into action . [I]_2342-matt hope [he]_327-jesse ’s thinking about how unreasonable [he]_327-jesse ’s been . ‘_[2342-matt] Can [I]_2342-matt make it better ? ’ [he]_327-jesse asks as [he]_327-jesse reaches for [my]_2342-matt arm and slides [his]_327-jesse warm palm down until [he]_327-jesse ’s clasping [my]_2342-matt hand . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know , can [you]_2342-matt ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt definitely can . ’ [He]_327-jesse smiles , and [I]_2342-matt drop [my]_2342-matt head . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll always make it better , remember that . ’ [he]_327-jesse adds confidently . [I]_2342-matt give [myself]_2342-matt whiplash when [I]_2342-matt snap [my]_2342-matt head up to look at [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] But [you]_2342-matt made it shitty in the first place ! ’ [He]_327-jesse pouts , hanging [his]_327-jesse head . [I]_2342-matt think [he]_327-jesse ’s ashamed . Good . [He]_327-jesse should be . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help it . ’ [He]_327-jesse shrugs guiltily . ‘_[2342-matt] Of course [you]_2342-matt can ! ’ [I]_2342-matt exclaim . ‘_[2342-matt] No , with [you]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help it , ’ [he]_327-jesse states in a matter - of - fact tone – a tone that suggests [he]_327-jesse completely gets it . [I]_2342-matt , however , never will . ‘_[2342-matt] Come here . ’ [He]_327-jesse pulls [me]_2342-matt over to [his]_327-jesse bike and presents [me]_2342-matt with a large paper bag . ‘_[2342-matt] What ’s this ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask , looking into the bag . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt ’ll need [them]_1691-them . ’ [He]_327-jesse reaches into the bag and pulls out a pile of black leather . Oh , no ! ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , [I]_2342-matt ’m not getting on that thing . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse ignores [me]_2342-matt , unfolding the trousers and kneeling in front of [me]_2342-matt , holding them open for [me]_2342-matt to step into . [He]_327-jesse taps [my]_2342-matt ankle . ‘ On . ’_[327-jesse] ‘ No ! ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse can give [me]_2342-matt a sense fuck or the countdown all [he]_327-jesse likes – it ’s not happening . No way . Hell will freeze over . [He]_327-jesse ’s trampled all over [my]_2342-matt day , and now [he]_327-jesse wants to kill [me]_2342-matt on that death trap ? [He]_327-jesse heaves a tired breath and rises to [his]_327-jesse feet . ‘ Listen to [me]_327-jesse , [lady]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse cups [my]_2342-matt cheek with [his]_327-jesse palm . ‘ Do [you]_327-jesse honestly think [I]_327-jesse would let anything happen to [you]_327-jesse ? ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt look at [his]_327-jesse soft eyes , clearly trying to reassure [me]_2342-matt . No , [I]_2342-matt do n’t think [he]_327-jesse would let anything happen to [me]_2342-matt , but what about all of the other road users ? [They]_1692-they do n’t give a toss about little old [me]_2342-matt on the back of [that death trap]_{1612-that death trap} . [I]_2342-matt ’ll fall off , [I]_2342-matt know it . ‘ [They]_1692-they scare [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt admit . [I]_2342-matt ’m such [a baby]_{3219-a baby} . [He]_327-jesse bends down , getting nose to nose with [me]_2342-matt , [his]_327-jesse minty breath soothing [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Do [you]_2342-matt trust [me]_2342-matt ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Yes . ’ [I]_2342-matt answer immediately . [I]_2342-matt trust [him]_327-jesse with [my]_2342-matt life . It ’s [my]_2342-matt sanity [I]_2342-matt do n’t trust [him]_327-jesse with . [He]_327-jesse nods , dropping a kiss on the end of [my]_2342-matt nose before kneeling back down in front of [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt lift [my]_2342-matt foot when [he]_327-jesse taps [my]_2342-matt ankle , [my]_2342-matt heart flickering with nervousness as [he]_327-jesse removes [my]_2342-matt ballet pumps , feeds [my]_2342-matt feet into the trousers and pulls the leathers up [my]_2342-matt body , fastening them swiftly . Next , [he]_327-jesse collects a fitted , leather jacket and takes [my]_2342-matt bag before putting the jacket on [me]_2342-matt , followed by a pair of boots . ‘_[2342-matt] Take the pins out [your]_1694-your hair . ’ [he]_327-jesse orders , putting [my]_1695-he pumps and [my]_1695-he new taboo dress in [my]_1695-he oversized work bag . [I]_1695-he ’m_[1695-he] surprised [he]_1695-he did n’t throw it to the ground and trample all over it . [I]_2342-matt reach up and start removing [my]_2342-matt grips . ‘ Where are [your]_1694-your leathers ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_1695-he do n’t need [them]_3220-them . ’_[1695-he] ‘ Why , are [you]_1694-your indestructible ? ’_[1695-he] [He]_1695-he holds the helmet above [my]_2342-matt head . ‘ No , [lady]_65-ha , self - destructible . ’_[1695-he] Huh ? ‘ What does that mean ? ’_[1695-he] ‘ Nothing , ’_[1695-he] [He]_1695-he dismisses [my]_2342-matt question and pushes the helmet onto [my]_2342-matt head , effectively shutting [me]_2342-matt up . [He]_1695-he starts adjusting the chin strap , leaving [me]_2342-matt feeling like [my]_2342-matt head ’s been squeezed into a condom . [I]_2342-matt flex [my]_2342-matt neck from side to side , and [he]_1695-he flips the visor up . ‘ [You]_1695-he should wear protective clothing . ’_[1695-he] [I]_2342-matt admonish [him]_1695-he . ‘ [You]_1695-he ’re_[2342-matt] making [me]_2342-matt . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not prepared to take any risks with [you]_1695-he . Anyway ... ’_[1695-he] [He]_1695-he smacks [my]_2342-matt arse , ‘ [you]_1695-he look fucking hot . ’_[1695-he] [He]_1695-he lengthens the strap on [my]_2342-matt bag , putting it across [my]_2342-matt body and around [my]_2342-matt back . ‘ When [I]_1695-he ’m_[1695-he] on , put [your]_1696-your left foot on the peg and swing [your]_1696-your right leg over , okay ? ’ [I]_2342-matt nod , and [he]_1695-he puts [his]_1695-he own helmet on . [I]_2342-matt watch , admiringly as [he]_1695-he swings [his]_1695-he long leg over , starts [the bike]_{1613-the bike} and stands it up between [his]_1695-he powerful thighs . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] shitting [myself]_2342-matt . [He]_1695-he looks at [me]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt stand on [the pavement]_{2745-the pavement} and nods [his]_1695-he instruction for [me]_2342-matt to climb on . [I]_2342-matt reluctantly step forward , place [my]_2342-matt hand on [his]_1695-he shoulder and follow through on [his]_1695-he instructions , vaulting [my]_2342-matt right leg over , soon finding [myself]_2342-matt straddling [his]_1695-he waist . ‘ [I]_1695-he feel too high . ’_[1695-he] [He]_1695-he turns [his]_1695-he head . ‘ [You]_1698-your ’re_[1695-he] fine . Now , hold on around [my]_2342-matt waist but not too tight . When [I]_2342-matt lean , gently lean with [me]_2342-matt and do n’t put [your]_1698-your feet down when [I]_2342-matt stop . Keep them on the pegs . Clear ? ’ [I]_2342-matt nod . ‘_[2342-matt] Okay . ’ Oh shit , what am [I]_2342-matt doing ? ‘_[2342-matt] Put [your]_1698-your visor down . ’ [he]_1695-he orders , flipping [his]_1695-he own into position . [I]_2342-matt do as [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] bid and lean forward , hugging [my]_2342-matt arms around [his]_1695-he chest and squeezing [my]_2342-matt knees on either side of [his]_1695-he hips . [I]_2342-matt feel like [a national hunt jockey]_{1699-a national hunt jockey} . [My]_2342-matt nerves are all over [the place]_{308-the place} , but there ’s a little excitement lingering somewhere . The vibrations of the engine travel through [me]_2342-matt as [Jesse]_327-jesse revs the engine , backing onto [the road]_{2482-the road} with [his]_327-jesse feet . Then slowly and smoothly , [he]_327-jesse pulls into the traffic . [My]_2342-matt heart is hammering in [my]_2342-matt chest , [my]_2342-matt thighs gripping [his]_327-jesse hips stupidly hard . [I]_2342-matt loosen [my]_2342-matt clench slightly when [my]_2342-matt arms and legs begin to ache . [I]_2342-matt ’m not ignorant to the fact that [he]_327-jesse ’s obviously taking it easy with [me]_2342-matt on board , and [I]_2342-matt love [him]_327-jesse all the more for it . [He]_327-jesse brakes lightly , takes corners smoothly and [I]_2342-matt find [myself]_2342-matt naturally mimicking the bikes movements . [I]_2342-matt love it . This is a complete surprise ; [I]_2342-matt ’ve always hated motorbikes . As [we]_3223-we break the city limits , [I]_2342-matt have no idea where [we]_3223-we ’re_[2342-matt] going , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t care . [My]_2342-matt arms and legs are wrapped around [my]_2342-matt solid hunk of male , and with the rush on air speeding past [me]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt feel completely exhilarated . Until [I]_2342-matt recognise [the road leading to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor}]_{1702-the road leading to the manor} . [My]_2342-matt joy instantly dampens . After the day [I]_2342-matt ’ve had , it would be just perfect for it to end on a helping of old pouty lips . [I]_2342-matt give [myself]_2342-matt a mental pep talk , telling [myself]_2342-matt to rise above [her]_1704-her obvious jealousy and bitterness . What [I]_2342-matt would like to know most , though , is why [she]_1704-her ’s behaving like this ? Has [Jesse]_327-jesse had a relationship with [her]_1704-her ? The iron gates at the entrance of [the grounds]_{1705-the grounds} open as [Jesse]_327-jesse pulls off of [the main road]_{294-the main road} and proceeds down [the gravel driveway]_{2402-the gravel driveway} to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , braking gently until [we]_1708-we come to a stop . [He]_327-jesse flips [his]_327-jesse visor up . ‘ Off [you]_3224-you get . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt swing [my]_2342-matt leg over , rather elegantly , and land on the gravel to the side of [the bike]_{1613-the bike} . [Jesse]_327-jesse kicks the stand down and shuts [the bike]_{1613-the bike} off before dismounting with complete ease and taking [his]_327-jesse helmet off , [his]_327-jesse blonde hair all rough and dishevelled from the friction . [He]_327-jesse runs [his]_327-jesse hands through it and places [his]_327-jesse helmet on the seat before taking [mine]_2342-matt off . [He]_327-jesse looks at [me]_2342-matt hesitantly when [my]_2342-matt face is revealed . [He]_327-jesse ’s worried [I]_2342-matt did n’t like it . [I]_2342-matt grin , launching [myself]_2342-matt at [him]_327-jesse , wrapping [my]_2342-matt legs around [his]_327-jesse waist and [my]_2342-matt arms around [his]_327-jesse neck . [He]_327-jesse laughs . ‘ There ’s that grin . Did [you]_327-jesse enjoy that ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse holds [me]_2342-matt with one arm , placing [my]_2342-matt helmet next to [his]_327-jesse , then clasps [me]_2342-matt with both hands . [I]_2342-matt lean back to get [his]_327-jesse face in [my]_2342-matt line of vision . ‘ [I]_2342-matt want one . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Forget it ! Not a fucking chance in Hell . Never , no way , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse shakes [his]_327-jesse head , [his]_327-jesse expression pure dread . ‘ Only ever with [me]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] ‘ [I]_2342-matt loved it . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt tighten [my]_2342-matt grip around [his]_327-jesse neck , pulling [myself]_2342-matt back into [him]_327-jesse and lowering [my]_2342-matt lips to [his]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse moans approvingly as [I]_2342-matt coax [his]_327-jesse mouth open , landing [him]_327-jesse with a deep , moist and passionate kiss . ‘ Thank [you]_65-ha . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse bites lightly on [my]_2342-matt bottom lip . ‘ Hmmm . [You]_65-ha ’re_[65-ha] more than welcome , [baby]_65-ha . ’ [I]_65-ha ’ve completely lost sight of [my]_65-ha doubts . When [he]_327-jesse ’s like this , it kind of trumps [his]_327-jesse unreasonable , controlling ways . It ’s crazy . ‘_[65-ha] Why are [we]_1711-we here ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help the pang of disappointment at ending [my]_2342-matt amazing bike ride at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve got a few things to sort out . [You]_1712-you can have something to eat while [we]_1711-we ’re [here]_281-home . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse lowers [me]_2342-matt to the ground . ‘ Then [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] taking [you]_1712-you [home]_281-home , [lady]_65-ha . ’ [He]_327-jesse brushes [my]_65-ha hair from [my]_65-ha face . ‘_[65-ha] [I]_2342-matt ’ve got nothing with [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_1914-sam ’ll need to shoot [home]_281-home and pick some things up . ‘_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam ’s here . [He]_1914-sam brought some of [your]_1712-you stuff from [Kate]_2557-kate ’s . ’ [He]_1914-sam grabs [my]_1914-sam hand , pulling [me]_1914-sam towards [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . [Sam]_1914-sam brought [my]_1914-sam stuff ? That was very forward thinking of [him]_1914-sam . Oh , please tell [me]_1914-sam that [Kate]_2557-kate packed it . The thought of [Sam]_1914-sam ’s cheeky grin as [he]_1914-sam ploughs through [my]_1914-sam underwear drawer has [me]_1914-sam blushing on the spot . [Jesse]_327-jesse leads [me]_1914-sam up the steps , through the doors into [the entrance hall]_{356-the entrance hall} . It sounds busy tonight , with laughter and chatter coming from [the restaurant]_{1284-the restaurant} and [bar]_3229-bar . [We]_1714-we bypass both , heading straight for [[Jesse]_327-jesse ’s office]_{3230-jesse ’s office} . [I]_1914-sam ’m_[1914-sam] relieved . Avoiding a certain acid tongued pout is top of [my]_2342-matt list of things to achieve this evening . As [we]_1714-we pass through [the summer room]_{2350-the room} , [a few groups of [people]_372-people]_{1716-the women} are gathered , relaxing on the plush sofas , drinks in hand . [I]_2342-matt ’m not ignorant to the fact that all conversation halts as soon as [they]_{1716-the women} spot [us]_1714-we . [The men]_{1716-the women} raise [their]_{1716-the women} drinks , and [the women]_{1716-the women} smooth [their]_{1716-the women} hair , straighten [their]_{1716-the women} backs and plaster ridiculous smiles on [their]_{1716-the women} faces . The smiles soon disappear when [they]_{1716-the women} direct [their]_{1716-the women} stares on [me]_2342-matt , fully clad in leather , being pulled behind [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt feel scrutinised . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] placing [my]_2342-matt bets that [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} is not [every female]_{1719-every female} ’s preference simply because of [the luxurious accommodation]_{1720-the luxurious accommodation} and surroundings . ‘ Good evening . ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse nods as [we]_1721-we pass swiftly . A chorus of greetings flood [my]_2342-matt ears , all of the men acknowledging [me]_2342-matt with a smile or a nod , but [all of [the women]_{1716-the women}]_{1716-the women} throwing suspicious glares . [I]_2342-matt feel like public enemy number one . What ’s [their]_{1716-the women} problem ? ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse , ’_{[1716-the women]} [I]_2342-matt hear [Big John]_832-ava ’s low rumble up ahead . [I]_2342-matt drag [my]_2342-matt eyes from [the crowd of [angry women]_{1724-angry women}]_{1723-the crowd of angry women} , giving [me]_2342-matt the once over , to find [John]_832-ava coming out of [[Jesse]_327-jesse ’s office]_{279-the office} . [He]_832-ava nods at [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt find [myself]_2342-matt nodding back . What role does [he]_832-ava play here ? [He]_832-ava looks like [the mafia personified]_{1726-the mafia personified} . ‘ Any problems ? ’_[832-ava] [Jesse]_327-jesse asks , leading [me]_2342-matt into [[his]_327-jesse office]_{279-the office} . [John]_832-ava follows and shuts the door behind [him]_832-ava . ‘ Small issue in [the communal room]_{1727-a communal room} , now resolved . ’_[832-ava] [His]_327-jesse deep voice is monotone . ‘ [Someone]_587-someone got a bit excited . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt frown , looking at [Jesse]_327-jesse . What ’s [a communal room]_{1727-a communal room} ? [I]_2342-matt see [Jesse]_327-jesse mildly shake [his]_327-jesse head at [John]_832-ava before flicking cautious eyes to [me]_2342-matt . ‘ S’all good , [I]_327-jesse ’ll be in [the surveillance suite]_{3232-the surveillance suite} . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse turns and leaves . ‘ What ’s [a communal room]_{1727-a communal room} ? ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t keep the interest from [my]_2342-matt tone . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never heard of such a thing . [He]_327-jesse yanks [me]_2342-matt towards [him]_327-jesse by the collar of [my]_2342-matt leather jacket and removes [my]_2342-matt bag , taking [my]_2342-matt mouth possessively , completely distracting [me]_2342-matt from [my]_2342-matt question . ‘ [I]_327-jesse like [you]_327-jesse in leather , ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse muses as [he]_327-jesse unzips the jacket , pushing it down [my]_2342-matt arms slowly and chucking it on the sofa . ‘ But [I]_327-jesse love [you]_327-jesse in lace . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse undoes the zipper of the leather trousers as [he]_327-jesse circles [my]_2342-matt nose with [his]_327-jesse . ‘ Always in lace , ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt watch [his]_327-jesse hands work the fastener , [my]_2342-matt pulse quickening . ‘ [I]_2342-matt thought [you]_327-jesse have work to do . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt whisper . [He]_327-jesse picks [me]_2342-matt up , walks [me]_2342-matt over to [his]_327-jesse big desk and places [me]_2342-matt on the edge . Both boots are removed and tossed on the sofa before [he]_327-jesse bends down , braces [his]_327-jesse hands on the edge and leans forward so [our]_1728-our faces are close . [His]_327-jesse green pools of lust are penetrating [me]_2342-matt . ‘ It can wait . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse snakes [his]_327-jesse arm around [my]_2342-matt waist and lowers [me]_2342-matt to the desk surface . ‘ [You]_327-jesse drive [me]_327-jesse crazy , [lady]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse says , reaching down and unbuttoning [my]_2342-matt white shirt as [he]_327-jesse stands between [my]_2342-matt open thighs . ‘ [You]_327-jesse drive [me]_327-jesse crazy . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt breathe , arching [my]_2342-matt back when [his]_327-jesse hot touch skims [my]_2342-matt breast bone . [He]_327-jesse smiles darkly at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ So , [we]_3233-we ’re_[327-jesse] made for each other . ’ [He]_327-jesse yanks the cups of [my]_327-jesse bra down , running [his]_327-jesse thumbs over [my]_327-jesse nipples , sparking endless shots of pleasure throughout [me]_327-jesse . [Our]_3233-we eyes connect and lock . ‘_[327-jesse] Probably , ’ [I]_327-jesse agree . [I]_327-jesse really want to be made for [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[327-jesse] Oh , there ’s no probably about it . ’ [He]_327-jesse hooks [his]_327-jesse forearm under [my]_2512-friends waist and pulls [me]_2512-friends up from the desk , resting [his]_327-jesse mouth on [my]_2512-friends throat . Circling [his]_327-jesse tongue , [he]_327-jesse works [his]_327-jesse way up [my]_2512-friends jaw bone . [I]_2512-friends lace [my]_2512-friends fingers through [his]_327-jesse soft hair and exhale a contented lung full of air . Perfect . [We]_3234-we ’re_{[2512-friends]} making [friends]_2512-friends . The office door flies open , and [Jesse]_327-jesse yanks [me]_2342-matt into [his]_327-jesse chest protectively , and probably to conceal [me]_2342-matt too . ‘ Oh , sorry . ’_[327-jesse] ‘ For fucks sake , [Sarah]_54-victoria ! Knock ! ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse yells . [I]_2342-matt ’m secretly delighted at the tone [he]_327-jesse ’s taken with [her]_54-victoria . [I]_1730-her might be half naked and sprawled across [his]_327-jesse desk , but [Jesse]_327-jesse is concealing [me]_1730-her just fine . [He]_327-jesse does n’t let [me]_1730-her go as [he]_327-jesse shifts slightly so [he]_327-jesse can land [Sarah]_54-victoria with a filthy look . [I]_1730-her catch a glimpse of [her]_1730-her in the doorway . [She]_1730-her ’s wearing a red dress to match [her]_1730-her lips , [her]_1730-her sour face as plain as the obvious boob job . ‘_[1730-her] Finally got [her]_1730-her in leather then ? ’ [she]_1730-her says on a sly smile , turning on [her]_1730-her heels and leaving . The door shuts with a loud bang , and [Jesse]_327-jesse rolls [his]_327-jesse eyes in frustration . [I]_1730-her do n’t think [I]_1730-her ’ve ever disliked [someone]_587-someone so much . ‘_[1730-her] What did [she]_1730-her mean ? ’ [I]_1730-her ask , feeling like [I]_1730-her ’m_[1730-her] the butt of a private joke . ‘ Nothing , ignore [her]_1730-her . [She]_1730-her ’s trying to be funny . ’_[1731-he] [he]_1731-he grumbles . [His]_1731-he mood has changed dramatically . Well , [I]_2342-matt do n’t find [her]_1730-her remotely funny , but [his]_1731-he short , abrupt answer makes [me]_2342-matt think twice about pushing it . Damn , [I]_2342-matt want [him]_1731-he to finish what [he]_1731-he started . [I]_2342-matt ’m lifted from the desk and placed [me]_2342-matt on [my]_2342-matt feet . Pulling the cups of [my]_2342-matt bra back over [my]_2342-matt breasts , [he]_1731-he starts to button up [my]_2342-matt shirt and peel the leathers down [my]_2342-matt legs . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to look like a crumpled mess . [He]_1731-he fetches [my]_2342-matt bag from the floor , putting [my]_2342-matt pumps at [my]_2342-matt feet for [me]_2342-matt to step into . [I]_2342-matt start tucking [my]_2342-matt shirt in , trying to make [myself]_2342-matt more presentable , and watch as [Jesse]_327-jesse takes a seat in [his]_327-jesse huge , brown leather , swivel chair . [He]_327-jesse ’s gone quiet . Resting [his]_327-jesse elbows on the arms and letting [his]_327-jesse fingertips meet in front of [his]_327-jesse lips , [he]_327-jesse watches [me]_2342-matt thoughtfully as [I]_2342-matt finish sorting [myself]_2342-matt out . ‘ What ? ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt ask . [He]_327-jesse looks deep in thought . What ’s [he]_327-jesse thinking about ? ‘ Nothing . Are [you]_2342-matt hungry ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shrug . ‘ -ish , ’_[2342-matt] A smile tickles the corner of [his]_327-jesse mouth . ‘ -ish . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse counters . ‘ The steak ’s good . Do [you]_2342-matt want that ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt nod . Yes , [I]_2342-matt could eat a little steak . [He]_327-jesse picks up [his]_327-jesse office phone and dials a few numbers . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava would like the steak , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse puts the phone to [his]_327-jesse shoulder . ‘ How do [you]_2342-matt like [your]_2342-matt steak ? ’_[327-jesse] ‘ Medium , please , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse returns to the phone . ‘ Medium , with new potatoes and a salad . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse looks at [me]_2342-matt with raised eyebrows . [I]_2342-matt nod again . ‘ In [[my]_327-jesse office]_{1011-my office} … and bring some wine … [Zinfandel]_{161-zinfandel} . That ’s all … yes … thank [you]_2342-matt . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse hangs up and dials again . ‘ [John]_832-ava … yes … [I’m]_832-ava ready when [you]_2342-matt are . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse hangs up before picking up again . ‘ [Sarah]_54-victoria … fine , do n’t worry . Bring [me]_327-jesse the latest attendance figures . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse puts the phone down again . ‘ Sit . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse points at the sofa in the window . Okay , [I]_2342-matt ’m getting that uncomfortable feeling again , [my]_2342-matt small appetite fading fast . Damn it , [I]_2342-matt hate coming here . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt can go if [you]_1732-you ’re busy . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse frowns , throwing [me]_2342-matt a questioning look . ‘ No , sit . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt take [myself]_2342-matt over to the sofa to settle [myself]_2342-matt in the soft , brown leather . [I]_2342-matt feel like a spare part , uncomfortable and awkward . With little else to do , [I]_2342-matt watch as [Jesse]_327-jesse flicks through various piles of paperwork , signing [here]_314-here and there . [He]_327-jesse ’s completely engrossed in what [he]_327-jesse ’s doing . [He]_327-jesse glances up every now and then , lobbing [me]_2342-matt a reassuring smile , but it does little to ease [my]_2342-matt discomfort . [I]_2342-matt want to go . After twenty minutes , or so , of twiddling [my]_2342-matt thumbs and wishing [he]_327-jesse would hurry up , the door knocks and [Jesse]_327-jesse calls an okay for whoever it is to enter . [Pete]_185-pete walks in with a tray and follows [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s pointed pen over to [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Thank [you]_185-pete , [Pete]_185-pete . ’_[185-pete] [I]_2342-matt smile as [Pete]_185-pete places the tray down in front of [me]_2342-matt and hands [me]_2342-matt some cutlery wrapped in a white , material napkin . ‘ [My]_185-pete pleasure , can [I]_185-pete open [your]_185-pete wine ? ’_[185-pete] ‘ No , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’ve got it . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse nods before leaving [the room]_{2350-the room} quietly . [I]_2342-matt remove the lid from the plate and a delicious smell invades [my]_2342-matt nostrils , dragging [my]_2342-matt appetite back . Unwrapping [my]_2342-matt knife and folk , [I]_2342-matt stab at [my]_2342-matt separate bowl of salad , the most colourful [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever seen – peppers of every colour , red onion and a dozen varieties of lettuce leaf , all drenched in infused oil . [I]_2342-matt could eat this alone . It ’s wonderful . Crossing [my]_2342-matt legs , [I]_2342-matt place the tray on [my]_2342-matt lap and slice into the steak , humming a satisfied moan around [my]_2342-matt fork . [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} does food very well . ‘ Good ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt feel [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s chin resting on [my]_2342-matt shoulder . ‘ Very , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mumble around [my]_2342-matt steak . ‘ [You]_2342-matt want to try ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt nods , opening [his]_2342-matt mouth . [I]_2342-matt slice a piece of steak and hold it over [my]_2342-matt shoulder for [him]_2342-matt to take . ‘ Hmmm , very good . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says around [his]_2342-matt chew . ‘ More ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [His]_2342-matt eyes widen in appreciation , so [I]_2342-matt cut [him]_2342-matt another piece , passing it over [my]_2342-matt shoulder again . [He]_2342-matt watches [me]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt wraps [his]_2342-matt full lips around [my]_2342-matt fork and slowly pulls the steak off . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help the big smile that breaks out across [my]_2342-matt face . [His]_2342-matt eyes sparkle with pleasure and [he]_2342-matt struggles to prevent [his]_2342-matt own smile as [he]_2342-matt chews . [He]_2342-matt clamps [his]_2342-matt hands on [my]_2342-matt shoulders and buries [his]_2342-matt face in [my]_2342-matt neck from behind . [He]_2342-matt nips playfully at [my]_2342-matt neck . ‘ [You]_2342-matt taste better . ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt smile broadens as [he]_2342-matt makes a meal of chewing at [my]_2342-matt throat , growling and nuzzling to [his]_2342-matt heart ’s content . [I]_2342-matt laugh , raising [my]_2342-matt shoulder when [he]_2342-matt latches onto [my]_2342-matt ear , [his]_2342-matt hot breath causing shudders to course through [me]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt entices so many extreme reactions from [me]_2342-matt – extreme frustration , extreme desire and extreme happiness are just a few . [This man]_2342-matt works [me]_2342-matt , and [he]_2342-matt works [me]_2342-matt well . ‘ [You]_2342-matt eat , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says as [he]_2342-matt kisses [my]_2342-matt temple tenderly . [He]_2342-matt starts circling [his]_2342-matt thumbs into the top of [my]_2342-matt back . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] tense . Why are [you]_1736-you tense ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks . [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt neck in gratitude . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] tense because [I]_2342-matt ’m here – it ’s the only reason . How can [one woman]_{3237-one woman} make [me]_2342-matt feel so uncomfortable ? There ’s a knock on [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s office door . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes ? ’ [He]_2342-matt carries on working [my]_2342-matt shoulders as [Sarah]_54-victoria walks in . Ah , speak of [the devil]_{1136-the devil} . The atmosphere instantly cools as [she]_54-victoria clocks [Jesse]_327-jesse massaging [my]_2342-matt shoulders , [her]_54-victoria facial expression altering significantly . [I]_2342-matt notice it , but [Jesse]_327-jesse seems oblivious to the chilly undertones of [her]_54-victoria presence . [I]_2342-matt tense further , suddenly wanting [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s hands off of [me]_2342-matt . That ’s something [I]_2342-matt never thought [I]_2342-matt would want . But right now , [I]_2342-matt feel like an impostor , and the icy glare [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] getting thrown at [me]_2342-matt has [me]_2342-matt shifting uncomfortably in [my]_2342-matt seat . [I]_2342-matt ’m really not helping [my]_1737-my cause , sat [here]_314-here , legs crossed , all cosy on the sofa , with a steak in [my]_1737-my lap and [Mr Godly]_{223-mr godly} working [his]_{223-mr godly} magic on [me]_1737-my . ‘_[1737-my] [Your]_1737-my figures , ’ [she]_54-victoria grumbles , waving the folder and walking casually over to [[Jesse]_327-jesse ’s desk]_{3240-jesse ’s desk} to place them in front of [his]_327-jesse chair . [She]_54-victoria turns to face [us]_3241-us , throwing daggers at [me]_54-victoria . Oh , [she]_54-victoria really hates [me]_54-victoria . ‘_{[54-victoria]} Thanks , [Sarah]_54-victoria . ’ [He]_327-jesse leans down and brushes [his]_327-jesse lips over [my]_54-victoria cheek , inhaling deeply before releasing [me]_54-victoria . ‘_{[54-victoria]} [I]_2342-matt have to work now , [baby]_832-ava . Eat [your]_1737-my dinner . ’ [I]_54-victoria see [Sarah]_54-victoria scowl briefly before reinstating the fake smile on [her]_54-victoria pouty face when [Jesse]_327-jesse turns towards [her]_54-victoria . [He]_327-jesse reaches into [his]_327-jesse jean pocket . ‘_{[54-victoria]} Have one hundred thousand transferred into this account [ASAP]_224-asap . ’ [he]_327-jesse instructs , handing [her]_54-victoria an envelope . ‘_[224-asap] One hundred ? ’ [Sarah]_54-victoria blurts . [She]_54-victoria glances down at the envelope . ‘_[224-asap] Yes . Now , please . ’ [He]_327-jesse leaves [her]_54-victoria staring at the paper , taking [his]_327-jesse seat up behind [his]_327-jesse desk , completely ignorant to [her]_54-victoria gaping mouth . [She]_54-victoria flicks [me]_1739-i a murderous look . It ’s then [I]_1739-i realise that it ’s the envelope [Sally]_54-victoria gave [him]_327-jesse . One hundred thousand ? That ’s way too much . What ’s [he]_327-jesse thinking ? [I]_1739-i want to say something . Should [I]_1739-i say something ? [I]_1739-i look at [Sarah]_54-victoria . [She]_54-victoria ’s stood there scrutinising [me]_1739-i , pursing [her]_54-victoria red lips . [I]_1739-i do n’t blame [her]_54-victoria . [I]_1739-i just want to crawl under the sofa and die . One hundred thousand ? Christ , [she]_54-victoria already thinks [I]_1739-i ’m_[1739-i] after [his]_1739-i money . ‘ That ’s all , [Sarah]_54-victoria . ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse dismisses [her]_1740-her and [she]_1740-her turns to leave , but not before throwing a scowl in [my]_2342-matt direction . [She]_1740-her saunters over to the door , meeting [John]_832-ava at the threshold . [He]_832-ava nods at [her]_1740-her before moving to the side to let [her]_1740-her pass , shutting the door behind [her]_1740-her . [He]_832-ava flicks [me]_2342-matt a nod , and [I]_2342-matt smile before resuming the picking of [my]_2342-matt salad and steak . Yeah , [my]_2342-matt appetite has run for [the hills]_{1741-the hills} . [I]_2342-matt need to speak to [him]_832-ava and ask what role [that woman]_{792-that woman} plays in [his]_832-ava life . And why does [she]_{792-that woman} hate [me]_2342-matt so much ? [I]_2342-matt place the tray back on the coffee table to pour some wine , but [I]_2342-matt notice [Pete]_185-pete ’s only brought one glass , so [I]_2342-matt take [myself]_2342-matt over to the side board , collect a tumbler for [myself]_2342-matt and return to the sofa to pour the wine . When [I]_2342-matt place the glass on [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s desk , [John]_832-ava stops talking and [they]_1743-they both look at the glass , then to [me]_2342-matt . [Jesse]_327-jesse picks it up , handing it back to [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] fine , thank [you]_832-ava , [baby]_832-ava , ’ [He]_832-ava smiles . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m driving . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Oh , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt take the glass back . ‘ Sorry . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Do n’t be , [you]_832-ava have it . [I]_2342-matt got the wine for [you]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt take [my]_2342-matt place on the sofa , picking up a magazine called SuperBike . It ’s the only one so it will have to do . [I]_2342-matt start flicking through , loosing [myself]_2342-matt in the articles on superbikes , [MotoGP]_225-motogp and getting [myself]_2342-matt over excited when [I]_2342-matt find a section especially devoted to [superbike passengers]_{1744-superbike passengers} or riding pillion , as [I]_2342-matt now know it to be termed . Is [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s a superbike ? [I]_2342-matt read the rules of riding pillion , along with an article entitled “ Safety First ” . [I]_2342-matt ’ll make [him]_327-jesse wear leathers , if it ’s the last thing [I]_2342-matt do . [I]_2342-matt ’m completely lost in details of four - stroke engines , horsepower ratings and the approaching Milan Motorcycle show , when [I]_2342-matt feel warm hands wrap around [my]_2342-matt neck from behind . [I]_2342-matt drop [my]_2342-matt head back to look at [his]_327-jesse upside down features . [He]_327-jesse blesses [me]_2342-matt with [his]_327-jesse roguish grin . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve started something , have n’t [I]_2342-matt ? ’ [He]_327-jesse bends and drops [his]_327-jesse lips onto [my]_2342-matt forehead . ‘_[2342-matt] Why have n’t [you]_2342-matt upgraded to the 1198 ? ’ [He]_327-jesse smiles . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt have , but [I]_2342-matt prefer the 1098 . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , how many do [you]_2342-matt have ? ’ ‘_[226-twelve] [Twelve]_226-twelve . ’ ‘_[226-twelve] Twelve ? Are [they]_1745-they all superbikes ? ’ [He]_327-jesse laughs lightly . ‘_[832-ava] Yes , [Ava]_832-ava , [they]_1745-they ’re all superbikes . Come on , [I]_1745-they ’m_[1745-they] taking [you]_2342-matt [home]_281-home . ’ [I]_2342-matt place the magazine back on the table and begin to unravel [my]_2342-matt folded body . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt know , [you]_2342-matt should be wearing leathers . ’ [I]_2342-matt push casually . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt should . ’ [He]_2342-matt takes [my]_2342-matt hand , leading [me]_2342-matt to the door . ‘_[2342-matt] So , why do n’t [you]_2342-matt ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve rode bikes since [I]_2342-matt … ’ [He]_2342-matt halts mid - sentence and glances down at [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] For many years , ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt ’re going to have to reveal an age at some point . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt looks at [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt smile brightly , earning [myself]_2342-matt a return beam for [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘ Maybe . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says quietly . If [he]_2342-matt ’s rode [bikes]_1747-bikes for years , then [he]_2342-matt should appreciate the dangers . [We]_1748-we walk through [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , finding [Sam]_1914-sam and [Drew]_327-jesse at [the bar]_{361-the bar} . [Sam]_1914-sam ’s obviously not seeing [Kate]_2557-kate tonight . [He]_2342-matt looks [his]_2342-matt usual self , as does [Drew]_327-jesse , with [his]_2342-matt black suit and perfectly placed black hair . ‘ [[My]_1914-sam man]_2342-matt ! ’_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam cheers . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt love [[your]_832-ava Little Miss knickers]_{3242-your little miss knickers} . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt hands [me]_2342-matt a familiar gym bag . [I]_2342-matt die a thousand deaths on the spot . [He]_2342-matt went through [my]_2342-matt underwear drawer ? The cheeky swine ! Feeling [my]_2342-matt face flame , [I]_2342-matt glance up at [Jesse]_327-jesse to see anger pouring from [his]_2342-matt entire being . Oh , [Sam]_1914-sam ! ‘ Do n’t push [your]_1914-sam fucking luck , [Sam]_1914-sam . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt warns , [his]_2342-matt tone super serious . [Sam]_1914-sam ’s grin fades as [he]_2342-matt puts [his]_2342-matt hands up in submission . [Drew]_327-jesse exhales , shaking [his]_2342-matt head and placing [his]_2342-matt beer on [the bar]_{361-the bar} . ‘ There ’s a line , [Sam]_1914-sam . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says in agreement to [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s reaction towards [Sam]_1914-sam ’s inappropriate comment . ‘ Hey , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sorry . ’ [Sam]_1914-sam grumbles , looking at [me]_2342-matt with a hint of a grin breaking free . [I]_2342-matt glance around [the bar]_{361-the bar} . It ’s really busy . There are plenty of [people milling about]_{3243-people milling about} , all chatting , many putting [their]_{3243-people milling about} hand up in acknowledgment to [Jesse]_327-jesse , but [none of [them]_{1753-these admirers}]_{2488-none of them} approach [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt feel the same animosity from [the women in here]_{3245-the women in here} as [I]_2342-matt did in [the summer room]_{2350-the room} . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] seriously stepping on some toes by being [here]_314-here . Is [Jesse]_327-jesse aware of all [these admirers]_{1753-these admirers} ? [I]_2342-matt feel like [I]_2342-matt ’ve poached [him]_327-jesse . And now [I]_2342-matt ’m certain that the repeat business is based solely on [The Lord of [the Manor]_{2356-the manor}]_{3169-the lord of the manor} and [his]_1914-sam devastating looks . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m taking [Ava]_832-ava [home]_281-home , ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse takes the gym bag from [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Are [you]_2342-matt running tomorrow ? ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse asks [Sam]_1914-sam . ‘ Nah , [I]_327-jesse might be tied up . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse grins at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt feel [my]_2342-matt colour deepen . [I]_2342-matt ’ll never get use to [his]_327-jesse forwardness and lurid comments . [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head at the cheeky swine . ‘ Where ’s [Kate]_2557-kate ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [I]_2342-matt should call [her]_1754-her . ‘ [She]_1754-her had a few deliveries to do . [She]_1754-her got all excited about taking [Margo Junior]_1052-margo out on [her]_1754-her maiden voyage . [I]_327-jesse got dumped for [a pink van]_{3250-a pink van} , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse takes a swig of [his]_327-jesse beer . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] heading over when [I]_2342-matt ’m done [here]_314-here . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Done what ? ’_[327-jesse] [Drew]_327-jesse asks on a raised brow . ‘ Fuck [you]_327-jesse . ’_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam spits . Done what , exactly ? [Jesse]_327-jesse starts pulling [me]_2342-matt out of [the bar]_{361-the bar} . ‘ Bye , [lads]_327-jesse . Tell [Kate]_2557-kate , [Ava]_832-ava ’s with [me]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse calls over [his]_327-jesse shoulder . [I]_2342-matt wave [my]_2342-matt free hand to [them]_1756-them as [I]_2342-matt ’m hauled from [the bar]_{361-the bar} . [They]_1756-them both raise [their]_1756-them bottles in goodbye , both grinning . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] escorted out of [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} to [[Jesse]_327-jesse ’s [Aston Martin]_{122-aston martin}]_2342-matt , really rather quickly . [He]_{122-aston martin} opens the passenger door for [me]_2342-matt to get in . ‘ [I]_2342-matt want to go on [the bike]_{1613-the bike} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt complain . [I]_2342-matt ’m addicted . ‘_[2342-matt] Right now , [I]_2342-matt want [you]_1758-you in lace , not leather . Get in [the car]_{548-the car} . ’ [His]_2342-matt eyes have turned wickedly dark and promising . When did that happen ? [I]_{122-aston martin} get in [the car]_{548-the car} , clenching [my]_{122-aston martin} thighs together , and wait for [him]_2342-matt to slide in next to [me]_{122-aston martin} . [He]_2342-matt starts [the car]_{548-the car} , quickly reversing out and kicking up the gravel as [he]_2342-matt flies off down [the driveway]_{567-the driveway} towards the gates . [He]_2342-matt ’s on a mission . [I]_{122-aston martin} know [he]_2342-matt was pissed off when [Sarah]_54-victoria walked in on [us]_3254-us . A few minutes later , [she]_54-victoria could have had the perfect view of [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s tight arse greet [her]_54-victoria . Or has [she]_54-victoria seen it before ? [I]_{122-aston martin} inwardly vomit . God , [I]_{122-aston martin} hope not . [I]_{122-aston martin} glance over at the gorgeous profile of [the man]_2342-matt sat next to [me]_{122-aston martin} , all relaxed as [he]_2342-matt drives . [He]_2342-matt flicks [his]_2342-matt eyes to [me]_{122-aston martin} before returning [them]_3256-them to [the road]_{2482-the road} . [I]_{122-aston martin} can tell [he]_2342-matt ’s trying [his]_2342-matt hardest not to smile . ‘_{[122-aston martin]} One hundred thousand pounds is a massive overpayment . ’ [I]_{122-aston martin} say coolly . ‘_{[122-aston martin]} Is it ? ’ ‘_[1760-you] [You]_1760-you know it is . ’ [I]_1760-you look at [him]_2342-matt challengingly as [he]_2342-matt fights the smile threatening to breakout across [his]_2342-matt lovely face . ‘_[1760-you] [You]_1760-you ’re underselling [yourself]_1760-you . ’_[1760-you] ‘ [I]_2342-matt must be the most expensive hooker ever . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt flip , watching [his]_2342-matt lips press into a straight line . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , if [you]_1760-you refer to [yourself]_1760-you in that way again … ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt was joking . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Do [you]_1760-you see [me]_2342-matt laughing ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt have [other clients]_{3258-other clients} to deal with . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt inform [him]_2342-matt bravely . [He]_2342-matt ca n’t expect [me]_2342-matt to devote all of [my]_2342-matt working time to [his]_2342-matt extension , or to [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt highly doubt [he]_2342-matt ’ll let [me]_2342-matt get on with it undisturbed , and [Patrick]_327-jesse will get massively suspicious if [I]_2342-matt ’m never in [the office]_{279-the office} . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt know , but [I]_2342-matt ’m [a special client]_{3260-a special client} . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt reaches over , squeezing [my]_2342-matt knee , and [I]_2342-matt look up to a dark grin . ‘ [You]_{3260-a special client} ’re_[2342-matt] special all right ! ’ [I]_2342-matt laugh , earning [myself]_2342-matt a dig in the soft void above [my]_2342-matt hip bone . [He]_2342-matt cranks the volume up , and [Elbow]_227-elbow settles [me]_2342-matt back in [my]_2342-matt seat as [I]_2342-matt watch [the world]_{516-the world} go by . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] really in love with [him]_2342-matt right now , as appose to just in love with [him]_2342-matt . Despite the lapse in the middle , it ’s turned out to be a beautiful day . Chapter 29 [The gates to [Lusso]_66-lusso]_{1761-the gates to lusso} slowly shift open and [Jesse]_327-jesse pulls in , parking [the car]_{548-the car} swiftly and accurately . [He]_2342-matt wastes no time collecting [me]_2342-matt from [my]_2342-matt side of [the car]_{548-the car} and dragging [me]_2342-matt through [the foyer]_{2536-the foyer} towards [the elevator]_{780-the elevator} . ‘ Evening , [Clive]_101-clive . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt call as [I]_2342-matt ’m hauled past and stuffed into the penthouse lift . ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_1765-you in a rush ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Yes . ’ [he]_2342-matt answers decisively , punching in [his]_2342-matt code . The doors of [the elevator]_{780-the elevator} close and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] swiftly thrust up against the mirrored wall . ‘ [You]_1765-you owe [me]_2342-matt an apology fuck . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt growls , attacking [my]_2342-matt mouth . What the hell is an apology fuck , and why do [I]_2342-matt owe [him]_2342-matt one ? [I]_2342-matt could make a list as long as [my]_2342-matt arm of all the apologies [he]_2342-matt owes [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t think of anything that [I]_2342-matt should be apologising for . ‘ What ’s an apology fuck ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt pant as [he]_2342-matt thrusts [his]_2342-matt knee between [my]_2342-matt thighs , moving [his]_2342-matt mouth to [my]_2342-matt ear . ‘ It involves [your]_2342-matt mouth . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shake off a tremble as [he]_2342-matt pushes [himself]_2342-matt away from [me]_2342-matt , leaving [me]_2342-matt a raging bag of hormones , panting and holding [myself]_2342-matt up by leaning against the wall . [He]_2342-matt steps back until [his]_2342-matt back meets the opposite wall of [the elevator]_{780-the elevator} , [his]_2342-matt hooded eyes watching [me]_2342-matt closely as [he]_2342-matt removes [his]_2342-matt t - shirt and begins working the button fly of [his]_2342-matt jeans . [My]_2342-matt lips part to allow air into [my]_2342-matt lungs as [I]_2342-matt wait for instruction . [I]_2342-matt ’m a quivering mess . [He]_2342-matt ’s perfection incarnate , every sharp muscle flexing and rippling with [his]_2342-matt movement . [His]_2342-matt jeans gape open , revealing [his]_2342-matt mass of hair , [his]_2342-matt erection falling out into [his]_2342-matt waiting palm . [He]_2342-matt is n’t wearing boxers . No obstruction . [I]_2342-matt flick [my]_2342-matt eyes up to [his]_2342-matt , but [he]_2342-matt ’s looking down , observing [himself]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt follow [his]_2342-matt eyes with [my]_2342-matt own and watch as [he]_2342-matt draws long , slow strokes over [his]_2342-matt arousal , [his]_2342-matt breath hitching slightly on each draw . Seeing [him]_2342-matt work [himself]_2342-matt has pins and needles stabbing at [my]_2342-matt groin and [my]_2342-matt body temperature swiftly rising . Good God , [he]_2342-matt is way past perfect . [My]_2342-matt gaze travels back up [his]_2342-matt body , finding the most erotic sight [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever seen . [His]_2342-matt stomach muscles are tense , [his]_2342-matt eyes hooded and lust filled , and that full bottom lip is parted and moist . [He]_2342-matt ’s staring at [me]_2342-matt now , carefully watching [me]_2342-matt from across [the elevator]_{780-the elevator} . ‘_[2342-matt] Come here , ’ [His]_2342-matt voice is hoarse , [his]_2342-matt sludgy eyes dark . [I]_2342-matt walk slowly towards [him]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] On [your]_1767-your knees . ’ [I]_2342-matt steady [my]_2342-matt breathing and slowly lower [myself]_2342-matt to the floor , sliding [my]_2342-matt hands down the front of [his]_2342-matt tight thighs , maintaining [our]_3263-our eye connection as [I]_2342-matt do . [He]_{1680-this beautiful man} looks down at [me]_2342-matt , [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} arousal still being worked slowly in [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} hand . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] absolutely transfixed on [this beautiful man]_{1680-this beautiful man} looming over [me]_2342-matt , working [himself]_{1680-this beautiful man} . [He]_{1680-this beautiful man} uses [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} free hand to caress the side of [my]_2342-matt face as [he]_{1680-this beautiful man} pants short , strained breaths through [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} parted lips . [He]_{1680-this beautiful man} taps [my]_2342-matt cheek with [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} middle finger . ‘ Open . ’_{[1680-this beautiful man]} [he]_{1680-this beautiful man} orders . [I]_2342-matt part [my]_2342-matt lips , running [my]_2342-matt hands around the back of [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} legs to grip the tops of [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} thighs as [he]_{1680-this beautiful man} strokes the side of [my]_2342-matt face in approval and positions [himself]_{1680-this beautiful man} at [my]_2342-matt lips . ‘ [You]_1769-my ’ll take it all the way , and [I]_{1680-this beautiful man} ’m_{[1680-this beautiful man]} going to come in [your]_1769-my mouth , ’ [He]_{1680-this beautiful man} runs [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} moist head over [my]_1769-my bottom lip , and [my]_1769-my tongue darts out to lap up the bead of creamy cum escaping . ‘_[1769-my] [You]_1769-my ’ll swallow . ’ [My]_1769-my stomach twists , [my]_1769-my breath catching in [my]_1769-my throat as [he]_{1680-this beautiful man} rears back and slowly plunges into [my]_1769-my mouth . [I]_1769-my watch as [he]_{1680-this beautiful man} squeezes [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} eyes shut , clenching [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} jaw so hard , [I]_1769-my think [he]_{1680-this beautiful man} could burst a vein in [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} temple . [I]_1769-my tighten [my]_1769-my grip on the back of [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} thighs and pull [him]_{1680-this beautiful man} forward . ‘_[1769-my] Fuuuuuck ! ’ [he]_{1680-this beautiful man} grates through [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} gritted teeth . [His]_{1680-this beautiful man} fist is still wrapped around the base , preventing [me]_1769-my from taking [him]_{1680-this beautiful man} all the way . [He]_{1680-this beautiful man} moves [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} other hand to the back of [my]_1769-my head as [he]_{1680-this beautiful man} stills , drawing urgent breaths . [I]_1769-my can feel the pressure [he]_{1680-this beautiful man} ’s applying to [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} thick length , no doubt to prevent [himself]_{1680-this beautiful man} from climaxing immediately . After a few moments , [he]_{1680-this beautiful man} ’s regained [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} composure , and [he]_{1680-this beautiful man} slowly peels [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} hand away from [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} base , placing it on the back of [my]_1769-my head to join the other . [I]_1769-my watch [him]_{1680-this beautiful man} puff out a few hard breaths . [He]_{1680-this beautiful man} ’s psyching [himself]_{1680-this beautiful man} up . [I]_1769-my better make this good then . [I]_1769-my draw [my]_1769-my mouth back and wickedly skate [my]_1769-my hand around to the front of [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} thigh and between [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} legs to glide under [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} heavy sacks . [His]_{1680-this beautiful man} grasp on [my]_1769-my head tightens as [he]_{1680-this beautiful man} moans a prayer to the ceiling , [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} hips shaking . [He]_{1680-this beautiful man} ’s fighting to keep control . Lightly , [I]_1769-my trace the tip of [my]_1769-my finger , back and forth , over the seam of [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} sack . [I]_1769-my watch as the cords in [his]_{1680-this beautiful man} neck tighten to snapping point . [I]_1769-my ’m_[1769-my] enjoying this . [He]_1770-he ’s defenseless , vulnerable and [I]_2342-matt ’m in total control . Despite [his]_1770-he earlier demands to kneel and open [he]_1770-he ’s at [my]_1770-he complete mercy . It makes a nice change , and [I]_1770-he ’m_[1770-he] not ignorant to the fact that [I]_2342-matt want to please [him]_1770-he . [I]_2342-matt ’m dimly aware of the elevator doors opening , but [I]_2342-matt ignore it . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] completely engrossed in what [I]_2342-matt ’m doing to [him]_1770-he . Moving [my]_2342-matt hand to [his]_1770-he base , [I]_2342-matt hold [him]_1770-he firm as [I]_2342-matt run [my]_2342-matt tongue over [his]_1770-he tip and plant a soft kiss on the end . [I]_2342-matt look up and see [him]_1770-he lower [his]_1770-he head , searching for [my]_2342-matt eyes . When [he]_1770-he finds them , [he]_1770-he begins working slow circles with [his]_1770-he hands in [my]_2342-matt hair as [I]_2342-matt lap at [his]_1770-he entire length , paying special attention to the underside and taking immense pleasure when [he]_1770-he jerks a few times , pushing rapid bursts of air through [his]_1770-he teeth . [He]_1770-he watches [me]_2342-matt , refusing to close [his]_1770-he eyes and determined to see [me]_2342-matt work [him]_1770-he , as [I]_2342-matt trail the entire length of [him]_1770-he , pushing the tip of [my]_2342-matt tongue into the slit when [I]_2342-matt reach [his]_1770-he broad head . [He]_1770-he gives [me]_2342-matt that roguish grin , but [I]_2342-matt wipe it from [his]_1770-he face and knock the air clean out of [his]_1770-he lungs when [I]_2342-matt return [my]_2342-matt hand to the back on [his]_1770-he thigh and yank [him]_1770-he forward into [my]_2342-matt mouth . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh Jesus , [Ava]_832-ava ! ’ [he]_1770-he barks . [I]_832-ava can feel [him]_1770-he brushing the back of [my]_832-ava throat , and it takes every effort not to retch at the invasion . [He]_1770-he feels so thick in [my]_832-ava mouth . [I]_832-ava start to retreat , but [he]_1770-he knocks the wind out of [me]_832-ava by thrusting back in , robbing [me]_832-ava of breath . [His]_1770-he fingers curl in [my]_832-ava hair as [he]_1770-he slowly withdraws and drives forward again , letting out a long moan of pure pleasure . Any illusion [I]_832-ava was under of [me]_832-ava being in control are long forgotten . [He]_1770-he knows what [he]_1770-he wants and how [he]_1770-he wants it . Yet again , [he]_1770-he has the power . ‘_[832-ava] [You]_832-ava have a fucking incredible mouth , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [He]_1770-he surges forward again , holding [me]_832-ava in place with [his]_1770-he strong hands , but calmly caressing and stroking [my]_832-ava hair at the same time . ‘_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt ’ve wanted to fuck it since [I]_2342-matt laid eyes on [you]_832-ava . ’ [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] not sure if [I]_2342-matt should be offended or delighted by that statement . So , instead of pondering it , [I]_2342-matt un - sheath [my]_2342-matt teeth and drag them over [his]_2342-matt taut skin as [he]_2342-matt withdraws . ‘ Christ , [Ava]_832-ava . Take it deep . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt shouts , powering forward again . ‘ Relax [your]_832-ava jaw . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt close [my]_2342-matt eyes and absorb [his]_2342-matt assault on [my]_2342-matt mouth . If it was n’t so damn erotic , it would be pretty brutal . [He]_2342-matt ’s aggressive with [his]_2342-matt power but tender with [his]_2342-matt hands . [He]_2342-matt ’s in complete control . After a few more incredible strikes , [I]_2342-matt feel [him]_2342-matt swell and pulsate in [my]_2342-matt mouth . [I]_2342-matt know [he]_2342-matt ’s tipping the edge . One of [his]_2342-matt hands moves from [my]_2342-matt head to the base on [his]_2342-matt length , and [he]_2342-matt withdraws slightly , taking a firm grip , working back and forth urgently . [I]_2342-matt circle , lap and suck [his]_2342-matt swelling head as [he]_2342-matt sucks in a sharp , short breaths . ‘ In [your]_2342-matt mouth , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt yells , and [I]_2342-matt take [his]_2342-matt cue , wrapping [my]_2342-matt lips around [his]_2342-matt jerking erection and placing [my]_2342-matt hand over [his]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt spills hot , creamy cum into [my]_2342-matt mouth . [I]_2342-matt take it – all of it . [I]_2342-matt swallow around [him]_2342-matt , glancing up to see [his]_2342-matt head thrown back as [he]_2342-matt yells into thin air , a throaty cry of satisfaction . [His]_2342-matt hips slow [their]_1771-their thrusts to a more level , lazy pace as [he]_2342-matt rides out [his]_2342-matt climax . [I]_2342-matt lick and suck the tension away . [My]_2342-matt debt is settled . [His]_2342-matt chest is heaving as [he]_2342-matt looks down at [me]_2342-matt with a foggy , green gaze . [He]_2342-matt bends to drag [me]_2342-matt up [his]_2342-matt body , smothering [my]_2342-matt lips with [his]_2342-matt in a complete appreciation kiss . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] amazing . [I]_2342-matt ’m keeping [you]_2342-matt forever . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt informs [me]_2342-matt , showering [my]_2342-matt face with kisses . ‘ That ’s nice to know . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt flip sarcastically . ‘ Do n’t try and pull a hurt with [me]_2342-matt , [lady]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt rests [his]_2342-matt forehead against [mine]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_2342-matt left [me]_2342-matt high and dry this morning . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says quietly . Oh , [I]_2342-matt ’m apologising for leaving [him]_2342-matt hanging . That makes perfect sense , but how will [he]_2342-matt repay [me]_2342-matt for all of [his]_2342-matt transgressions ? What [I]_2342-matt ’ve just sustained should repulse [me]_2342-matt , but it does n’t . [I]_2342-matt ’d do anything for [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt lift [my]_2342-matt arms and rest [my]_2342-matt palms on [his]_2342-matt chest , smoothing over [his]_2342-matt toned pecs . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt apologise . ’ [I]_2342-matt murmur , leaning in to rest [my]_2342-matt lips over [his]_2342-matt nipple . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt have lace on . ’ [He]_2342-matt wraps [his]_2342-matt arms tightly around [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt love [you]_2342-matt in lace . ’ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] lifted , [my]_2342-matt legs automatically curling around [his]_2342-matt narrow waist . [He]_2342-matt scoops up [my]_2342-matt bags and [his]_2342-matt t - shirt and carries [me]_2342-matt out of the lift . ‘ Why lace ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [He]_2342-matt always insists on it . And it ’s yet something else [I]_2342-matt do to please [him]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t know , but always wear lace . Keys , back pocket . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt reach under [his]_2342-matt arm , feeling in [his]_2342-matt pocket to drag [his]_2342-matt keys out before [he]_2342-matt turns slightly to give [me]_2342-matt access to the door . It ’s soon kicked open and closed again . [He]_2342-matt throws [my]_2342-matt bags down and carries [me]_2342-matt all the way [upstairs]_{2469-upstairs} . [I]_2342-matt could get so use to this . [He]_2342-matt hoofs [me]_2342-matt about like [I]_2342-matt ’m little more than a t - shirt on [his]_2342-matt back . [I]_2342-matt feel weightless and completely safe . [He]_2342-matt places [me]_2342-matt on [my]_2342-matt feet . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m taking [you]_2342-matt to bed now . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt whispers softly . [My]_2342-matt ears are suddenly invaded by the low sounds of [Massive Attack ’s Angel]_{228-massive attack ’s angel} . [My]_2342-matt body goes rigid . This is music to make love to . [I]_2342-matt start burning up as [he]_2342-matt slowly starts undressing [me]_2342-matt , [his]_2342-matt soft , green eyes remaining locked with [mine]_2342-matt . The diversity of [this man]_2342-matt staggers [me]_2342-matt completely . [This man]_2342-matt is [a brutal , demanding sex Lord]_2342-matt in one breath , and [a tender , gentle lover in the next]_{1773-a tender , gentle lover in the next} . [I]_2342-matt love all elements of [him]_2342-matt , every single one . Well , almost [every single one]_{1774-every single one} . ‘ Why do [you]_3264-you try to control [me]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . It ’s the only element of [him]_2342-matt that [I]_2342-matt ’m struggling to deal with . [He]_2342-matt ’s beyond unreasonable . But [you]_3264-you do n’t hear [me]_2342-matt complaining in [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} . [He]_2342-matt pushes [my]_2342-matt shirt from [my]_2342-matt shoulders and down [my]_2342-matt arms . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . ’ [he]_2342-matt says on a frown . [His]_2342-matt perplexed expression has [me]_2342-matt believing that [he]_2342-matt really does n’t , which is of no help to [me]_2342-matt in trying to understand why [he]_2342-matt ’s like this with [me]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt ’s known [me]_2342-matt for a few weeks . It ’s crazy behavior . ‘_[2342-matt] It just feels like the right thing to do . ’ [He]_2342-matt offers the explanation like it should explain everything . It does n’t in the slightest . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] still [none the wiser]_{1775-none the wiser} , [[you]_1776-you crazy man]_{1777-you crazy man} ! [He]_{1777-you crazy man} unfastens the zipper of [my]_2342-matt trousers and slides them down [my]_2342-matt thighs , lifting [me]_2342-matt out of them and leaving [me]_2342-matt standing before [him]_{1777-you crazy man} in [my]_2342-matt underwear . [He]_{1777-you crazy man} stands back and takes a good look at [me]_2342-matt as [he]_{1777-you crazy man} removes [his]_{1777-you crazy man} shoes and jeans , kicking them off to the side . [He]_{1777-you crazy man} ’s hard again . [I]_2342-matt run [my]_2342-matt appreciative eyes over [his]_{1777-you crazy man} loveliness , finishing back at [his]_{1777-you crazy man} sludgy pools . [He]_{1777-you crazy man} ’s like a science project of perfection – [God]_68-god ’s masterpiece ; [my]_2342-matt masterpiece . [I]_2342-matt want [him]_{1777-you crazy man} to be just mine . [He]_{1777-you crazy man} reaches across to [me]_2342-matt and pulls the cups of [my]_2342-matt bra down , one at a time , brushing the back of [his]_{1777-you crazy man} hand over each of [my]_2342-matt nipples , hardening them further . [My]_2342-matt breath skips , and [he]_{1777-you crazy man} flicks [his]_{1777-you crazy man} gaze to [mine]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_{1777-you crazy man} make [me]_{1777-you crazy man} crazy . ’_{[1777-you crazy man]} [he]_{1777-you crazy man} says , completely expressionless . [I]_2342-matt want to scream at [him]_{1777-you crazy man} for being so thick skinned . [He]_{1777-you crazy man} keeps saying this . ‘ No , [you]_{1777-you crazy man} make [me]_{1777-you crazy man} crazy . ’_{[1777-you crazy man]} [My]_2342-matt voice is a breathy whisper . [I]_2342-matt mentally plead for [him]_{1777-you crazy man} to acknowledge that [he]_{1777-you crazy man} ’s [an unreasonable control freak]_{1778-an unreasonable control freak} . [He]_{1777-you crazy man} ca n’t believe this is normal behavior . [His]_{1777-you crazy man} lips curve , [his]_{1777-you crazy man} eyes twinkle . ‘ Crazy . ’_{[1777-you crazy man]} [he]_{1777-you crazy man} mouths . [I]_2342-matt ’m lifted against [his]_{1777-you crazy man} chest and laid on the bed , [his]_{1777-you crazy man} body spreading down the length of [mine]_2342-matt . Once [he]_{1777-you crazy man} ’s swathed [me]_2342-matt , [his]_{1777-you crazy man} mouth lowers and [his]_{1777-you crazy man} lips take [me]_2342-matt worshipfully , softly working [their]_3266-their way over [me]_2342-matt , [his]_{1777-you crazy man} tongue sweeping through [my]_2342-matt mouth slowly . Oh God . [I]_2342-matt love [you]_{1777-you crazy man} . [I]_2342-matt could weep at this moment . Should [I]_2342-matt tell [him]_{1777-you crazy man} how [I]_2342-matt feel ? Why ca n’t [I]_2342-matt just spit the words out ? After today and [his]_{1777-you crazy man} performances , [you]_{1777-you crazy man} would think [I]_2342-matt would be scarpering , running as fast and as far as [I]_2342-matt can . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t , [I]_2342-matt just ca n’t do it . [I]_2342-matt feel [my]_2342-matt knickers being drawn down [my]_2342-matt legs , [my]_2342-matt thoughts well and truly scattered when [he]_{1777-you crazy man} shifts [his]_{1777-you crazy man} body up to sit on [his]_{1777-you crazy man} heels , pulling [me]_2342-matt up to straddle [his]_{1777-you crazy man} waiting lap . [He]_{1777-you crazy man} reaches under [us]_3267-us and positions [himself]_{1777-you crazy man} at [my]_2342-matt opening . ‘_[2342-matt] Lean back on [your]_1779-your hands . ’ [he]_{1777-you crazy man} orders softly , [his]_{1777-you crazy man} voice like gravel , [his]_{1777-you crazy man} eyes intense . [I]_2342-matt lean back , [his]_{1777-you crazy man} spare arm wrapping under [my]_2342-matt waist to support [me]_2342-matt . [He]_{1777-you crazy man} enters [me]_2342-matt slowly on a rush of air , [his]_{1777-you crazy man} lips parted and moist . [I]_2342-matt moan in pure , delighted pleasure as [he]_{1777-you crazy man} fills [me]_2342-matt completely . [My]_2342-matt arms shift a little , and [I]_2342-matt lock [my]_2342-matt legs around [his]_{1777-you crazy man} waist . [He]_{1777-you crazy man} feels so good inside [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt could die now [a very happy woman]_{3268-a very happy woman} . [His]_{1777-you crazy man} other hand joins the one wrapped around [my]_2342-matt waist , [his]_{1777-you crazy man} big hands nearly encompassing [me]_2342-matt , as [he]_{1777-you crazy man} starts directing [my]_2342-matt hips around in slow , grinding circles , lifting [me]_2342-matt up slowly before pulling [me]_2342-matt back down and swiveling again . [He]_{1777-you crazy man} ’s working [us]_3269-us in perfect time to the music . Christ , [he]_{1777-you crazy man} ’s good . [I]_2342-matt sigh , long and breathy at the exquisite sensations [he]_{1777-you crazy man} ’s creating as [he]_{1777-you crazy man} lifts , pulls [me]_2342-matt back down and circles , [his]_{1777-you crazy man} own hips following the movements that [he]_{1777-you crazy man} has complete control over . ‘_[2342-matt] Where have [you]_1780-you been all [my]_2342-matt life , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [he]_{1777-you crazy man} moans on a long , grinding circle . Growing up ! The unwelcome thought reminds [me]_832-ava of [my]_832-ava lack of knowledge with regards to [his]_{1777-you crazy man} age . If [I]_832-ava asked [him]_{1777-you crazy man} at the height of pleasure , would [he]_{1777-you crazy man} answer truthfully ? [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] in love with [a man]_{340-a man} and [I]_2342-matt have no idea how old [he]_{340-a man} is . How ridiculous . [I]_2342-matt gasp as [I]_2342-matt ’m lifted and lowered again , the shimmer of a slow building , highly satisfying climax beginning to gather force . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] hypnotised by [him]_{340-a man} – completely rapt as [I]_2342-matt watch [his]_{340-a man} face burning with passion , [his]_{340-a man} chest muscles undulating as [he]_{340-a man} guides [my]_2342-matt body on [his]_{340-a man} . This is slow , meticulous love making , and it ’s doing [me]_2342-matt no favours with regards to [my]_2342-matt feelings for [him]_{340-a man} – none whatsoever . [I]_2342-matt ’m as addicted to gentle [Jesse]_327-jesse as [I]_2342-matt am to dominant [Jesse]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] at a total loss . [His]_{340-a man} tongue sweeps across [his]_{340-a man} moist bottom lip and [his]_{340-a man} eyes flicker , [his]_{340-a man} frown line working its way across [his]_{340-a man} brow . ‘ Promise [me]_{340-a man} something . ’_{[340-a man]} [His]_{340-a man} voice is soft as [he]_{340-a man} swivels [his]_{340-a man} hips on another mind - numbing grind . [I]_2342-matt moan . [He]_{340-a man} ’s taking advantage of [my]_2342-matt mesmerised state by asking [me]_2342-matt to make promises now . But then again , that was more of a demand than a question . [I]_2342-matt study [him]_{340-a man} , waiting for [his]_{340-a man} request . ‘ [You]_{340-a man} ’ll stay with [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] What ? Tonight ? Forever ? [Elaborate]_{229-elaborate} , damn it ! That definitely was n’t a question , it was an order . [I]_2342-matt nod [my]_2342-matt head as [I]_2342-matt ’m pulled back down and [he]_{340-a man} mumbles incoherent words . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt need to hear the words , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [He]_{340-a man} circles [his]_{340-a man} hips , penetrating [me]_832-ava to the deepest part of [my]_832-ava body . ‘_[832-ava] Oh God , [I]_2342-matt will . ’ [I]_{340-a man} exhale around the scorching infiltration . [My]_{340-a man} voice is quivering from pleasure and emotion as the forceful throb at [my]_{340-a man} core takes over and [I]_{340-a man} tremble in [his]_{340-a man} hands . ‘_{[340-a man]} [You]_{340-a man} ’re going to come . ’_{[340-a man]} [he]_{340-a man} pants . ‘ Yes ! ’_{[340-a man]} ‘ [Jesus]_72-jesus , [I]_832-ava love looking at [you]_{340-a man} when [you]_{340-a man} ’re_[832-ava] like this . Hold it , [baby]_832-ava . Not yet . ’ [My]_832-ava arms start to buckle under [me]_832-ava , prompting [him]_{340-a man} to shift [his]_{340-a man} grip to the middle of [my]_832-ava back and pull [me]_832-ava up so [we]_1783-we ’re_[832-ava] front on front . [I]_2342-matt cry out as [our]_1783-we chests collide and [my]_2342-matt new position has [him]_{340-a man} penetrating [me]_2342-matt further . [My]_2342-matt hands fly up to grasp [his]_{340-a man} back . [He]_{340-a man} searches [my]_2342-matt eyes . ‘ [You]_{340-a man} ’re_{[340-a man]} painfully beautiful and all [mine]_2342-matt . Kiss [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_327-jesse obey , moving [my]_327-jesse palms to cup [his]_{340-a man} handsome face and lowering [my]_327-jesse lips to [his]_{340-a man} . [He]_{340-a man} moans as [I]_327-jesse plunge [my]_327-jesse tongue into [his]_{340-a man} mouth , [his]_{340-a man} drives hardening into [me]_327-jesse . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , ’ [I]_327-jesse plead . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] going . ‘ Control it , [baby]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] ‘ [I]_2342-matt ca n’t . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt pant into [his]_327-jesse mouth . [I]_2342-matt ’m helpless to [his]_327-jesse invasion of [my]_72-jesus mind and body as [I]_72-jesus tense [my]_72-jesus thighs around [him]_327-jesse and shatter all over [him]_327-jesse . [I]_72-jesus cry out and trap [his]_327-jesse bottom lip between [my]_72-jesus teeth , biting down . [He]_327-jesse shouts , rises to [his]_327-jesse knees , rears back and slams into [me]_72-jesus on [his]_327-jesse own release , clenching [me]_72-jesus to [his]_327-jesse chest and spilling [himself]_327-jesse inside of [me]_72-jesus . [He]_327-jesse thrusts up one last , powerful time . [I]_72-jesus cry out . ‘_[72-jesus] [Jesus]_72-jesus , [Ava]_832-ava . What am [I]_2342-matt going to do with [you]_72-jesus ? ’ Keep [me]_2342-matt forever , PLEASE ! [His]_327-jesse face plummets into [my]_2342-matt neck as [he]_327-jesse pumps [his]_327-jesse hips slowly , back and forth , milking every ounce of pleasure from [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] dizzy , [my]_2342-matt head spinning wildly as [his]_72-jesus heavy , hot breath spreads across [my]_2342-matt neck and travels down [my]_2342-matt chest . Every internal muscle [I]_2342-matt possess grips [him]_72-jesus as [he]_72-jesus pulsates inside [me]_2342-matt . [He]_72-jesus ’s shaking – proper trembling shakes . [I]_2342-matt wrap [my]_2342-matt arms around [him]_72-jesus and squeeze [him]_72-jesus to [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_72-jesus ’re_[2342-matt] shaking . ’ [I]_72-jesus mumble the words into [his]_72-jesus shoulder . ‘_[72-jesus] [You]_72-jesus make [me]_2342-matt so happy . ’ Do [I]_2342-matt ? ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt thought [I]_2342-matt made [you]_72-jesus crazy ? ’ [He]_72-jesus pulls back and looks [me]_2342-matt in the eyes , [his]_72-jesus forehead shimmering in sweat . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_72-jesus make [me]_2342-matt crazy happy , ’ [He]_72-jesus kisses [my]_2342-matt nose and sweeps [my]_2342-matt hair away from [my]_2342-matt face . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_72-jesus also make [me]_2342-matt crazy mad . ’ [He]_72-jesus gives [me]_2342-matt an accusing look . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know why . It ’s [his]_72-jesus own unreasonable , neurotic behavior that makes [him]_72-jesus crazy mad , not [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt prefer [you]_72-jesus when [you]_72-jesus ’re crazy happy , [you]_72-jesus ’re_[72-jesus] scary when [you]_72-jesus ’re crazy mad . ’_[327-jesse] [His]_327-jesse lips twitch . ‘ Then stop doing things to make [me]_327-jesse crazy mad . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt gape at [him]_327-jesse , but [he]_327-jesse presses [his]_327-jesse lips to [mine]_2342-matt before [I]_2342-matt can challenge [him]_327-jesse on that accusation . [The man]_327-jesse is crazy deluded , on top of everything else . [He]_327-jesse rests back down on [his]_327-jesse heels . ‘ [I]_327-jesse would never hurt [you]_72-jesus intentionally , [Ava]_832-ava . [You]_72-jesus know that , right ? ’_[327-jesse] The uncertainty is clear in [his]_327-jesse voice as [he]_327-jesse brushes a stray hair away from [my]_2342-matt face . Now , this [I]_2342-matt ’m absolutely certain of . Well , in the physical sense . It ’s the emotional sense that scares [me]_2342-matt to death . And the fact that [he]_327-jesse added intentionally should be cause for concern . [I]_2342-matt look into the hazy , green pools of [this beautiful man]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt know . ’ [I]_2342-matt sigh , but [I]_2342-matt really do n’t . And it scares [me]_2342-matt to death . [He]_327-jesse swivels around onto [his]_327-jesse back , taking [me]_2342-matt with [him]_327-jesse , so [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sprawled across [his]_327-jesse chest . [I]_2342-matt shift slightly so [I]_2342-matt can trace a figure of eight on [his]_327-jesse stomach , lingering longer over [his]_327-jesse scar than anywhere else . It fascinates [me]_2342-matt in a morbid kind of way , and it ’s another mystery behind [this man]_327-jesse . It ’s definitely not a war wound from an operation and it ’s not a puncture wound or a slice . It looks far more sinister than that . The thick , jagged wave looks like [someone]_587-someone has , literally , plunged a knife into [his]_327-jesse lower stomach and dragged it all the way around to [his]_327-jesse side . [I]_2342-matt shudder . [I]_2342-matt would n’t have thought [anyone]_2475-anyone could survive a wound like it . [He]_327-jesse must have lost a heap of blood . Dare [I]_2342-matt press [him]_327-jesse on this ? ‘ Were [you]_327-jesse in [the army]_{3270-the army} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask quietly . This could explain it , and [I]_2342-matt ’ve not asked directly . [He]_327-jesse pauses stroking [my]_2342-matt hair briefly but continues shortly after . ‘ No . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse answers . [He]_327-jesse does n’t ask [me]_2342-matt why [I]_2342-matt would think that . [He]_327-jesse knows what [I]_2342-matt ’m getting at . ‘_[2342-matt] Leave it , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_327-jesse says in that tone – the one that makes [me]_832-ava writher on the spot . Yeah , [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] not arguing with that voice , and [I]_2342-matt certainly do n’t want to spoil the moment . ‘ Why did [you]_3271-you disappear on [me]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask a little apprehensively . [I]_2342-matt need to know . ‘ [I]_2342-matt told [you]_3271-you , [I]_2342-matt was a mess . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Why ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt press . [His]_327-jesse answer explains nothing . [I]_2342-matt feel [him]_327-jesse tense beneath [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_3271-you spark feelings in [me]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse answers softly , and [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt might be getting somewhere . ‘ What sort of feeling ? ’_[2342-matt] BOOM ! [He]_327-jesse sighs . [I]_2342-matt ’ve pushed [my]_2342-matt luck . ‘ All sorts , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse sounds irritated by it . ‘ Is that a bad thing ? ’_[327-jesse] ‘ It is when [you]_3271-you do n’t know how to deal with [them]_3272-them . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse lets out a long , tired breath of air . [I]_2342-matt stop with [my]_2342-matt strokes . [He]_327-jesse does n’t know how to deal with the feelings [he]_327-jesse ’s having , so [he]_327-jesse tries to control [me]_2342-matt ? How will that help ? All sorts of feelings ? [This man]_327-jesse talks in code . What does that mean , and why does [he]_327-jesse sound so frustrated by it ? ‘ [You]_3271-you think [I]_327-jesse belong to [you]_3271-you . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt start circling [my]_2342-matt finger again . ‘ No , [I]_2342-matt know [you]_3271-you do . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ When did [you]_3271-you establish that ? ’_[327-jesse] ‘ When [I]_327-jesse spent four days trying to get [you]_3271-you out of [my]_327-jesse head . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse still sounds irritated , while [I]_2342-matt ’m delighted with this news . ‘_[2342-matt] It did n’t work ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Well , no , [I]_2342-matt was even crazier . Go to sleep . ’ [he]_327-jesse orders . ‘_[2342-matt] What were [you]_1787-you doing to try and get [me]_2342-matt out of [your]_1787-you head ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] It does n’t matter . It did n’t work , end of . Go to sleep . ’ [I]_230-crazier pout to [myself]_230-crazier . [I]_230-crazier think [I]_230-crazier ’ve extracted as much information as [I]_230-crazier ’m_{[230-crazier]} going to get . [Crazier]_230-crazier ? [I]_2342-matt do n’t think [I]_2342-matt ever want to meet [that man]_{465-that man} . All sorts of feeling ? That , [I]_2342-matt think , [I]_2342-matt like the sound of . [I]_2342-matt continue with [my]_2342-matt swirling patterns over [his]_327-jesse chest , while [he]_327-jesse strokes [my]_2342-matt hair and drops a kiss every now and then . The silence is comfortable and [my]_2342-matt eyes are getting heavy . [I]_2342-matt pull [myself]_2342-matt further into [him]_327-jesse , resting [my]_2342-matt leg over [his]_327-jesse thigh . ‘ Tell [me]_2342-matt how old [you]_2342-matt are . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt garble into [his]_327-jesse chest . ‘ No . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse replies flatly . [I]_2342-matt screw [my]_2342-matt face up in sleepy disgust . [I]_2342-matt did n’t even get a fake age . [I]_2342-matt doze off into a peaceful slumber , dreaming of all things crazy . Chapter 30 [I]_2342-matt wake up feeling exposed and cold , and [I]_2342-matt know immediately why . Where is [he]_327-jesse ? [I]_2342-matt sit up , blowing the hair from [my]_2342-matt face , to find [Jesse]_327-jesse on [the chaise lounge]_{1789-the chaise lounge} , bending down . ‘ What are [you]_327-jesse doing ? ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt throat is hoarse , not yet broken in . [He]_327-jesse looks up and dazzles [me]_2342-matt with [his]_327-jesse smile , reserved only for [women]_348-women . How come [he]_327-jesse ’s all bright eyed and bushy tailed ? ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] going for a run . ’ [He]_327-jesse bends back down , and [I]_2342-matt notice [he]_327-jesse ’s tying [his]_327-jesse trainers . When [he]_327-jesse ’s finished , [he]_327-jesse stands up , the full six foot three inches of lean loveliness , all the more lovely in loose , black running shorts and a marl grey vest . [I]_2342-matt lick [my]_2342-matt lips and smile admiringly . [He]_327-jesse has stubble . [I]_2342-matt could eat [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m quite enjoying the view too . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse says cheerfully . [I]_2342-matt snap [my]_2342-matt eyes to [his]_327-jesse , noting [him]_327-jesse staring at [my]_2342-matt chest with an arched brow and a half smile on [his]_327-jesse handsome face . [I]_2342-matt follow [his]_327-jesse gaze and find the cups of [my]_2342-matt bra are still sitting under [my]_2342-matt boobs . [I]_2342-matt leave [them]_1791-them as they are , rolling [my]_2342-matt eyes . ‘ What time is it ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt suddenly have a stomach turning panic moment . ‘ Five . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt gape at [him]_327-jesse , all wide eyed , before dramatically collapsing back onto the bed . Five ? [I]_2342-matt have at least another hour of sleep . [I]_2342-matt pull the sheets over [my]_2342-matt head and close [my]_2342-matt eyes . But [I]_2342-matt only get , roughly , three seconds of shut eye , before the sheets are whipped off of [me]_2342-matt and [Jesse]_327-jesse is in [my]_2342-matt face , a wickedly mischievous grin plastered all over [his]_327-jesse face . [I]_2342-matt wrap [my]_2342-matt arms around [his]_327-jesse neck , trying to pull [him]_327-jesse down to [me]_2342-matt , but [he]_327-jesse pulls against [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt end up in a standing position before [I]_2342-matt realise what ’s happened . ‘ [You]_3273-you ’re_[2342-matt] coming , ’ [he]_327-jesse informs [me]_2342-matt , snapping the cups of [my]_2342-matt bra back over [my]_2342-matt boobs . ‘_[2342-matt] Come on . ’ [He]_327-jesse turns , heading for [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} . [I]_2342-matt scoff indignantly . ‘_[2342-matt] No , [I]_2342-matt ’m bloody not . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse must be mad . [I]_2342-matt do n’t mind a run , but not at five in the morning . ‘ [I]_2342-matt run in the evenings . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt advise [his]_327-jesse back , falling back to the bed . [I]_2342-matt crawl to the top and snuggle back down into the pillows , locating the one that smells the most of fresh water and mint . [I]_2342-matt ’m rudely interrupted from [my]_2342-matt peace when [he]_327-jesse grabs [my]_2342-matt ankle and yanks [me]_2342-matt to the bottom of the bed . ‘_[2342-matt] Hey ! ’ [I]_2342-matt shout . [I]_2342-matt manage to take the pillow with [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not coming . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse leans over , whips the pillow away and narrows [his]_327-jesse eyes on [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Yes , [you]_2342-matt are . Mornings are better . Get ready . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse flips [me]_2342-matt over and smacks [my]_2342-matt backside . ‘ [I]_327-jesse do n’t have [my]_327-jesse running kit . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt say smugly , just as a sports bag lands on the bed next to [me]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse brought [me]_2342-matt running kit ? ‘ [You]_327-jesse brought these for [me]_327-jesse ? ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt ask incredulously as [I]_2342-matt sit up . That ’s a bit presumptuous . Maybe [I]_2342-matt do n’t like running . ‘ [I]_2342-matt saw [your]_1792-your trainers in [[your]_1792-your room]_{3275-your room} . [They]_1793-they ’re_[2342-matt] wrecked . [You]_1792-your ’ll damage [your]_1792-your knees if [you]_1792-your keep running in [them]_1793-they . ’ [He]_327-jesse stands with [his]_327-jesse arms folded , waiting for [me]_327-jesse to change . It ’s the crack of dawn . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] not even awake yet , and [he]_327-jesse wants [me]_2342-matt pounding the pavements and puffing [myself]_2342-matt out through [the streets of [London]_5-london]_{1794-the streets of london} before [I]_2342-matt ’ve even done a day ’s work ? Unreasonable ! [He]_327-jesse sighs , walking over to the sports bag and pulling out all sorts or running paraphernalia . [He]_327-jesse hands [me]_2342-matt a sports bra on a smirk . Oh , [he]_327-jesse really has thought of everything . [I]_2342-matt snatch it from [his]_327-jesse hands and remove [my]_2342-matt lace bra , replacing it with a reinforced shock absorber . [My]_2342-matt boobs are n’t so big that [they]_1793-they need strapping down . Next , [he]_327-jesse passes [me]_2342-matt a pair of black running shorts – the same as [his]_327-jesse but the ladies version – and a fitted , pink running vest . [I]_2342-matt dress [myself]_2342-matt under [his]_327-jesse watchful eye . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]_327-jesse ’s dragging [me]_2342-matt out for a run at this time of day . ‘ Sit . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse points to the bed . [I]_2342-matt sigh dramatically , plonking [myself]_2342-matt on the end . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] ignoring [you]_1795-you . ’ [he]_327-jesse grumbles as [he]_327-jesse kneels in front of [me]_2342-matt , lifting one foot at a time to put breathable running socks on and a rather swanky pair of black , [Nike]_231-nike , running shoes . [He]_327-jesse can ignore [me]_2342-matt all [he]_327-jesse likes . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not happy , and [I]_2342-matt want [him]_327-jesse to know it . When [he]_327-jesse ’s done , [he]_327-jesse pulls [me]_2342-matt up , stands back and runs [his]_327-jesse gaze up and down [my]_2342-matt sporty clad body . [He]_327-jesse nods [his]_327-jesse approval . Yes , [I]_2342-matt certainly look the part , but [I]_2342-matt ’ve always just thrown on [my]_2342-matt baggy sweatpants and an oversized t - shirt . [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to look better than [I]_2342-matt actually am . [I]_2342-matt ’m not bad , though . ‘_[2342-matt] Can [I]_2342-matt use [your]_2342-matt toothbrush ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask , sidestepping [him]_327-jesse and heading for [the bathroom]_{535-the bedroom} . ‘_[2342-matt] Knock [yourself]_2342-matt out . ’ [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_327-jesse call , but [his]_327-jesse toothbrush is already in [my]_2342-matt hand . After brushing [my]_2342-matt teeth , [I]_2342-matt feel instantly more alert and even more determined to wipe the smugness from [his]_327-jesse face . [I]_2342-matt ’ll run , [I]_2342-matt ’ll keep up and [I]_2342-matt might even finish with a few sit - ups . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been meaning to get back into the habit and there ’s no time like the present . [I]_2342-matt walk back into [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} , back straight and raring to go . ‘_[2342-matt] Come on then , [lady]_65-ha . Let ’s start the day how [we]_1797-we intend to finish it . ’ [He]_327-jesse takes [my]_2342-matt hand , leading the way [downstairs]_{2323-downstairs} . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not running again today ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt splutter . [This man]_327-jesse really is mad . [He]_327-jesse laughs . ‘ That ’s not what [I]_327-jesse meant . ’_[327-jesse] ‘ Oh , what did [you]_327-jesse mean ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse flashes [me]_2342-matt a dark , dirty grin . ‘ [I]_2342-matt mean by being out of breath and sweaty . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt gasp slightly and shiver . [I]_2342-matt know which way [I]_2342-matt would prefer to get out of breath and sweaty , morning , noon and night . And it does n’t involve this get up . ‘ [You]_327-jesse ’re_[2342-matt] not seeing [me]_2342-matt tonight . ’ [I]_2342-matt remind [him]_327-jesse . [His]_327-jesse hand tightens around [mine]_2342-matt and [he]_327-jesse grunts a few times . [I]_2342-matt spot [my]_2342-matt handbag by the door . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt need a hair tie . ’ [He]_327-jesse releases [me]_2342-matt and goes into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , leaving [me]_2342-matt to retrieve a hair tie from [my]_2342-matt bag . [I]_2342-matt scoop [my]_2342-matt hair up into a high ponytail and re - arrange [my]_2342-matt shorts . [They]_1800-they ’re_[2342-matt] chaffing . [I]_2342-matt need some pants on . [I]_2342-matt delve through [my]_2342-matt bag and come across [[my]_2342-matt Little Miss Stubborn knickers]_2342-matt . Oh , no ! [I]_2342-matt flush , cringe and die a thousand deaths all at once . [He]_2342-matt must have had a real good rummage to find these beauties . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never worn [them]_1800-they . [They]_1800-they were [Mum]_577-mum and [Dad]_581-dad ’s idea of a joke stocking filler and have been living at the back of [my]_2342-matt underwear drawer for many years . Resigning [myself]_2342-matt to a fate full of continuous blushing , for as long as [Sam]_1914-sam ’s in [my]_2342-matt life , [I]_2342-matt whip [my]_2342-matt shorts off to pull them on . ‘ Ha ! Let [me]_2342-matt see those . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt grasps [my]_2342-matt hips , bending down to have a good inspection . ‘ Can [you]_3279-you get these in [Little Miss Drive Jesse Crazy]_232-jesse ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes . ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . Can [you]_3279-you get [Mr Unreasonable Control Freak]_327-jesse ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt digs [his]_2342-matt thumbs into the hollow space above [my]_2342-matt hip bones , prompting [me]_2342-matt to fold over in laughter . ‘ Stop ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Get [your]_3279-you shorts back on , [lady]_65-ha . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt smacks [my]_2342-matt bum . [I]_2342-matt pull [my]_2342-matt shorts back on with a big grin on [my]_2342-matt face . [He]_2342-matt ’s in a really good mood today . But , then again , [I]_2342-matt ’m conforming . [We]_3281-we make [our]_3281-we way down to [the foyer]_{2536-the foyer} , finding [Clive]_101-clive with [his]_101-clive head in [his]_101-clive hands . ‘_[101-clive] Morning , [Clive]_101-clive . ’ [Jesse]_232-jesse nods formally as [we]_3281-we pass . [He]_2342-matt ’s far too alert for this time of day . [Clive]_101-clive grumbles to [himself]_101-clive , waving an absentminded hand at [us]_3281-we . [I]_101-clive do n’t think [he]_2342-matt ’s getting the hang of all that equipment . [Jesse]_232-jesse stops [us]_3281-we in [the car park]_{1529-the car park} . ‘_[101-clive] Stretch . ’ [he]_2342-matt instructs , releasing [my]_832-ava hand and pulling [his]_2342-matt lower leg up to [his]_2342-matt backside to stretch [his]_2342-matt thigh . [I]_832-ava watch as it bulges under [his]_2342-matt running shorts . [I]_832-ava cock [my]_832-ava head , more than happy to stay right here and watch [him]_2342-matt do that . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , stretch . ’ [he]_2342-matt orders . [I]_832-ava throw [him]_2342-matt a disgruntled look . [I]_832-ava ’ve never stretched in [my]_832-ava life – only in bed – and it ’s never done [me]_832-ava any harm . On an over exaggerated sigh , [I]_832-ava turn [my]_832-ava back to [him]_2342-matt and spectacularly , and oh so very slowly , spread [my]_832-ava legs and bend down to touch [my]_832-ava toes , thrusting [my]_832-ava backside in [his]_2342-matt face . ‘_[832-ava] Oh ! ’ [I]_832-ava feel [his]_2342-matt teeth sink into one of [my]_832-ava cheeks , followed by a swift sting of [his]_2342-matt hand colliding with [my]_832-ava bum . [I]_832-ava turn back around and find an arched brow on a peeved face . [The man]_2342-matt is serious about [his]_2342-matt running , where as [I]_832-ava just do a few miles now and again to keep the wine and cake from creeping onto [my]_832-ava hips . ‘_[832-ava] Where are [we]_1801-we running ? ’ [I]_832-ava ask , mirroring [Jesse]_232-jesse stretching [his]_2342-matt thighs and calves . ‘_[832-ava] The Royal Parks , ’ [he]_2342-matt answers . Oh , [I]_832-ava can do that . It ’s roughly six miles around the circumference and one of [my]_832-ava regular runs . No sweat . ‘_[832-ava] Ready ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks . [I]_832-ava nod and make [my]_832-ava way over to [[Jesse]_232-jesse ’s car]_{3284-jesse ’s car} , while [he]_2342-matt makes [his]_2342-matt way to the pedestrian gate . What ’s [he]_2342-matt doing ? ‘_[832-ava] Where are [you]_1802-you going ? ’ [I]_832-ava shout over to [him]_2342-matt . ‘_[832-ava] For a run . ’ [he]_2342-matt answers coolly . What ? Oh no . Realisation dawns on [my]_212-urh waking brain . [He]_2342-matt ’s going to make [me]_212-urh run all the way to [the parks]_{1803-the parks} , around [them]_{1803-the parks} and back again ? [I]_212-urh ca n’t do that ! Is [he]_2342-matt trying to kill [me]_212-urh off ? [Crazy superbike]_{233-crazy superbike} rides , shock visits to [[my]_212-urh work place]_{3285-my work place} and now death by running ? ‘_[212-urh] [Urh]_212-urh … how far is it to [the parks]_{1803-the parks} ? ’ [I]_2342-matt try to sound completely blasé , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not sure [I]_2342-matt ’m pulling it off . ‘_[2342-matt] Four miles , ’ [His]_327-jesse eyes are dancing with delight . What ? That ’s a fourteen mile round trip ! [He]_327-jesse ca n’t seriously run that far on a regular basis , it ’s over half a bloody marathon . [I]_2342-matt choke slightly and disguise it with a cough , determined not to give [him]_327-jesse the satisfaction of knowing [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] affected by this . [I]_2342-matt pull [my]_2342-matt vest down and walk over to the cocky , smug , Adonis of [a man that has [my]_2342-matt heart in a tangled mess]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse punches the code in . ‘ It ’s eleven , twenty seven , fifteen , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse glances at [me]_2342-matt with a small smile . ‘ For future reference , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse holds the gates open . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’ll never remember that . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt call over [my]_2342-matt shoulder as [I]_2342-matt pass [him]_327-jesse , starting [my]_2342-matt jog towards [the Thames]_{1805-the thames} . [I]_2342-matt can do this , [I]_2342-matt can do this . [I]_2342-matt repeat the mantra – and the code – over and over in [my]_2342-matt head . [I]_2342-matt ’ve not ran for three weeks now , but [I]_2342-matt refuse to let [him]_327-jesse get the better of [me]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse ’s caught up with [me]_2342-matt and running alongside [me]_2342-matt within a few yards . [I]_2342-matt look up to [his]_327-jesse lean loveliness . Does [this man]_327-jesse do anything badly ? [He]_327-jesse runs like [his]_327-jesse upper body is disconnected from [his]_327-jesse lower body , [his]_327-jesse legs transporting [his]_327-jesse tall , lean body with ease . [I]_2342-matt ’m determined to keep up with [him]_327-jesse , even though [his]_327-jesse pace is a little faster than [I]_2342-matt would normally take . [I]_2342-matt get into [my]_2342-matt stride and [we]_3286-we run along [the river]_{3287-the river} in a comfortable silence , throwing each other glances every now and then . [Jesse]_232-jesse is right – running in the morning is really quite relaxing . [The city]_{2326-the city} is n’t quite in full swing , the traffic is mainly [delivery vans]_{3289-delivery vans} and there are no horns or sirens ringing in [my]_2342-matt ears . The air is surprisingly fresh and cool too . [I]_2342-matt might be changing [my]_2342-matt running pattern . Half an hour later , [we]_3286-we hit [St James ’s Park]_{50-st james ’s park} and follow the green lushness at a steady pace . [I]_2342-matt feel surprisingly good , considering [I]_2342-matt ’ve run somewhere near four miles already . [I]_2342-matt glance up at [Jesse]_232-jesse , who ’s putting [his]_327-jesse hand up to [every fellow runner]_{3290-every fellow runner} as [they]_{3290-every fellow runner} pass – [all women]_{1716-the women} – who smile brightly at [Jesse]_232-jesse and eye [me]_2342-matt suspiciously . [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes at [the desperate losers]_{3292-the desperate losers} , glancing up to [gage]_234-gage [his]_234-gage reaction , but [he]_234-gage looks completely unaffected by both [the women]_{1716-the women} and the running . That was probably just [his]_234-gage warm up . ‘_[2342-matt] Okay ? ’ [he]_234-gage asks on a half - smile as [he]_234-gage looks down at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not talking . That ’s a sure way to puff [me]_2342-matt out , and [I]_2342-matt ’m doing really well at the moment . [I]_2342-matt nod and return [my]_2342-matt focus on the path ahead of [us]_3293-we , willing [my]_2342-matt muscles not to give up . [I]_2342-matt have a point to prove . [We]_3293-we maintain [our]_3293-we steady pace , making [our]_3293-we way around [St James ’s Park]_{50-st james ’s park} , eventually reaching [The Green Park]_{50-st james ’s park} . [I]_2342-matt glance up again and still see a completely unaffected , virtually refreshed face and body running next to [me]_2342-matt . Okay , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] feeling it now , and [I]_2342-matt do n’t know whether it ’s [my]_2342-matt fatigue , or the fact [that crazy man]_{1806-that crazy man} here is increasing [his]_{1806-that crazy man} pace , but [I]_2342-matt ’m struggling to keep up . [We]_3293-we ’ve got to be knocking on nine miles now . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never ran nine miles in [my]_2342-matt life . If [I]_2342-matt had [my]_2342-matt iPod with [me]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt would be hitting the button for [my]_2342-matt power track , right about now . [We]_3293-we hit [Piccadilly]_{35-piccadilly} and [I]_2342-matt start to feel [my]_2342-matt lungs burning , [my]_2342-matt breath getting harder to keep steady and constant . [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt may have hit [the proverbial runner]_{3294-the proverbial runner} ’s wall . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never ran far enough to hit it before , but [I]_2342-matt can now completely appreciate the meaning of the statement . [I]_2342-matt feel like [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] pushing against a ton of bricks wedged in sand . [I]_2342-matt must not give up . Oh , it ’s no good . [I]_2342-matt ’m bloody shattered . [I]_236-baby detour off of [the road]_{2482-the road} and into [The Green Park]_{50-st james ’s park} , collapsing , unceremoniously , onto the grass in a sweaty , overheated heap . [I]_236-baby lay spread eagled , dragging valuable air into [my]_236-baby overworked lungs . [I]_236-baby do n’t care that [I]_236-baby ’ve given up . That ’s [my]_236-baby personal best achievement . [Man]_235-man , [he]_235-man can run . [I]_236-baby close [my]_236-baby eyes and concentrate on taking in deep breaths . [I]_236-baby feel sick . The cool morning air invading [my]_236-baby sprawled body is most welcome , until it ’s swallowed up by a hunk of leanness closing in on [me]_236-baby from above . [I]_236-baby open [my]_236-baby eyes , finding a gaze so green , it could rival the trees surrounding [us]_3297-us . ‘_[236-baby] [Baby]_236-baby , did [I]_2342-matt wear [you]_236-baby out ? ’ [He]_235-man grins around [his]_235-man words . [Jesus]_72-jesus , [he]_235-man ’s not even broke a sweat . [I]_236-baby , on the other hand , ca n’t even talk . [I]_236-baby heave underneath [him]_235-man , like the running loser that [I]_236-baby am , letting [him]_235-man smother [my]_236-baby face with kisses . [I]_236-baby must taste [God]_68-god awful . ‘_[236-baby] Hmmm , sweat and sex . ’ [He]_2342-matt licks [my]_236-baby cheek and rolls [us]_3298-us over so [I]_236-baby ’m_[236-baby] sprawled across [his]_2342-matt stomach . [I]_2342-matt proceed to pant and wheeze all over [him]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt runs [his]_2342-matt firm palms all over [my]_2342-matt sweaty back . [My]_2342-matt chest feels tight . Can [you]_1807-you have a heart attack at twenty six ? When [I]_2342-matt ’ve finally got [my]_2342-matt breathing under control , [I]_2342-matt push [my]_2342-matt hands into [his]_2342-matt chest and straddle [his]_2342-matt hips , sitting up on [his]_2342-matt body . ‘ Please do n’t make [me]_2342-matt run [home]_281-home . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt plead . [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt could possibly die . [He]_2342-matt places [his]_2342-matt hands under [his]_2342-matt head , all casual and amused by [my]_2342-matt laboured breathing and sweaty face . [His]_2342-matt toned arms look edible as [they]_1808-they flex . [I]_2342-matt could just about muster up the energy to lean down and take a bite . ‘ [You]_2342-matt did better than [I]_2342-matt expected . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says on a raised brow . ‘ [I]_2342-matt prefer sleepy sex . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt grumble , falling forward onto [his]_2342-matt chest . [His]_2342-matt hands come around to secure [me]_2342-matt against [him]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt prefer sleepy sex too . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt traces circles across [my]_2342-matt back . Okay , today , [I]_2342-matt really , really love [him]_2342-matt . And it ’s only six thirty in the morning . But [I]_2342-matt should bear in mind that a lot can change and very quickly with [Mr Jesse Ward]_327-jesse . Give it an hour and [I]_2342-matt might have disobeyed or not conformed , and then , very suddenly , [I]_2342-matt ’m dealing with crazy mad , [Mr Unreasonable Control Freak]_327-jesse and being given the countdown or a sense fuck – [I]_65-ha ’ll take the sense fuck , [I]_65-ha ’ll leave the countdown . ‘_[65-ha] Come on , [lady]_65-ha . [We]_1810-we ca n’t frolic in the grass all day , [you]_65-ha have work to do . ’ Yes , [I]_65-ha do . And [we]_1810-we ’re_[65-ha] miles from [Lusso]_66-lusso . [I]_2342-matt ’m actually closer to [Kate]_2557-kate ’s than [I]_2342-matt am to [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s , but [my]_2342-matt things are at [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s so it looks like [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] taking the long option . [I]_2342-matt heave [myself]_2342-matt up from [his]_1811-he chest and stand . [I]_2342-matt ’m slightly wobbly on [my]_1812-my feet . [Jesse]_327-jesse , of course , rises to [his]_1811-he feet like a dolphin gliding across [the calm ocean]_{3300-the calm ocean} . [He]_1811-he makes [me]_1812-my sick . [He]_1811-he wraps an arm around [my]_1812-my shoulder and walks [us]_3301-us onto [Piccadilly]_{35-piccadilly} , flagging [a taxi]_{597-the taxi} down and bundling [me]_1812-my in . ‘_[1812-my] [You]_1812-my brought money for [a taxi]_{597-the taxi} ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . [He]_1811-he knew [I]_2342-matt would n’t make it ? [He]_1811-he does n’t answer . [He]_1811-he just shrugs and yanks [me]_2342-matt across [the taxi]_{597-the taxi} into [his]_1811-he arms . [I]_2342-matt feel a little guilty for cutting [his]_1811-he run short , but not too much . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] too beat to dwell on it for long . [I]_2342-matt ’m dragged , quite literally , through [the foyer of [Lusso]_66-lusso]_{1251-the foyer of lusso} and into [the elevator]_{780-the elevator} . [I]_2342-matt feel like [I]_2342-matt ’ve been awake for a month , when , in reality , it ’s not even been two hours . [I]_2342-matt ’ve no idea how [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] going to make it through the day . When [we]_1814-we reach [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} , [I]_2342-matt collapse on a bar stool in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , resting [my]_2342-matt head on [my]_2342-matt arms . [My]_2342-matt breathing is only just returning to normal . ‘ Here , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look up and find a bottle of water being waved under [my]_2342-matt nose . [I]_2342-matt take it gratefully , swinging the lovely ice liquid and wiping [my]_2342-matt mouth with the back of [my]_2342-matt hand . ‘ [I]_1817-he ’ll run a bath . ’_[1817-he] [He]_1817-he looks at [me]_2342-matt in sympathy , but [I]_2342-matt detect a little enjoyment mixed in there too . [The smug bastard]_{1818-the smug bastard} ! [I]_2342-matt ’m lifted from the stool and carried [upstairs]_{2469-upstairs} in [my]_{1818-the smug bastard} usual chimp like manner . ‘_{[1818-the smug bastard]} [I]_2342-matt do n’t have time for a bath , [I]_2342-matt ’ll have a shower . ’ [I]_2342-matt say as [he]_1817-he places [me]_2342-matt on the bed . What [I]_2342-matt would do to crawl under the covers and emerge sometime next week . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_1819-you have plenty of time . [We]_1820-we ’ll grab some breakfast and go to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} mid - morning . Now , stretch . ’ [He]_1817-he drops a kiss on [my]_327-jesse sweaty forehead and turns towards [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} . [We]_1820-we ’ll go to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} ? What for ? [Realisation]_{237-realisation} kicks in before [my]_327-jesse brain has a chance to instruct [my]_327-jesse mouth to blurt the question . [He]_1817-he was completely serious when [he]_1817-he permanently marked out [my]_327-jesse diary for the rest of the academic year ? Oh , shit ! [The one hundred grand]_{3306-the one hundred grand} is to keep [Patrick]_327-jesse quiet while [he]_327-jesse gets [his]_327-jesse fix of [me]_327-jesse , morning , noon and night . Oh , bloody hell . What about [[my]_327-jesse other clients]_{3307-my other clients} – [Van Der Haus]_{117-mr van der haus} being the most important other client ? [He]_327-jesse alone will boost [Patrick]_327-jesse ’s turnover tenfold . Oh God , [I]_327-jesse feel a trample coming on . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , [I]_2342-matt need to go to [the office]_{279-the office} . ’ [I]_327-jesse try for a calm and reasonable tone . [I]_327-jesse do n’t know why [I]_327-jesse picked this one in particular . As appose to what ? Demanding ? [Ha]_65-ha ! ‘_[327-jesse] No , [you]_327-jesse do n’t . Stretch . ’ Is the straight flat answer , followed by a terse demand that [I]_327-jesse get thrown back at [me]_327-jesse from [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] going to lose [my]_2342-matt job . [I]_2342-matt know it . [He]_327-jesse ’ll get [his]_327-jesse fix , trample all over [my]_2342-matt social life and career , and then drop [me]_2342-matt like a hot potato . [I]_2342-matt ’ll be job - less , [friend]_1823-friend - less , heart - less and , most frighteningly , [Jesse]_327-jesse - less . [I]_2342-matt feel light headed . What am [I]_2342-matt going to do ? [I]_2342-matt ’m too exhausted to run away at the start of a countdown – not that [I]_2342-matt would get very far , even firing on all cylinders . And a sense fuck will probably finish off [my]_2342-matt already strained heart . ‘_[2342-matt] All of [my]_2342-matt equipment is at [the office]_{2832-your office} . [My]_2342-matt computer programmes , reference books , everything . ’ [My]_1825-i voice is small . [He]_327-jesse presents [himself]_327-jesse at the doorway of [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} , chewing [his]_327-jesse lip . ‘_[1825-i] And [you]_1825-i need all that stuff ? ’ ‘_[1825-i] Yes , to do [my]_2342-matt job . ’ ‘_[1825-i] Okay , [we]_1826-we ’ll stop by [[your]_1825-i office]_{2832-your office} . ’ [He]_327-jesse shrugs and returns to [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} . [I]_1825-i throw [myself]_1825-i back on the bed in exasperation . What in [God]_68-god ’s name am [I]_1825-i going to say to [Patrick]_327-jesse ? [I]_1825-i exhale a weary sigh . [He]_1827-he ’s lead [me]_1825-i into a false sense of security by bringing [me]_1825-i [home]_281-home in [a taxi]_{452-a taxi} and carrying [my]_1825-i tired body up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} when [my]_1825-i legs felt like [they]_{272-the stairs} could give out . [I]_1825-i ’m_[1825-i] just as deluded as [he]_1827-he is . [I]_2342-matt ’m never going to be in control . ‘_[2342-matt] Bath ’s ready . ’ [he]_1827-he whispers in [my]_1828-you ear , snapping [me]_1828-you from [my]_1828-you unrest . ‘_[1828-you] [You]_1828-you were serious , were n’t [you]_1828-you ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask as [he]_1827-he lifts [me]_2342-matt up from the bed and carries [me]_2342-matt into [the bathroom]_{2350-the room} . The enormous bath dominating [the room]_{2350-the room} is only half full . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt was serious about what ? ’ [He]_1827-he places [me]_2342-matt on [my]_2342-matt feet and starts peeling off [my]_2342-matt wet running gear . Thick skin ! ‘_[2342-matt] About holing [me]_2342-matt up with [you]_1828-you , ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Yes . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] What about [[my]_2342-matt other clients]_{3163-my current clients} ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to share [you]_1828-you . ’ [He]_1827-he pulls [my]_2342-matt shorts down [my]_2342-matt legs and taps [my]_2342-matt ankle . [I]_2342-matt do as [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] bid , lifting [my]_2342-matt feet in turn . How am [I]_2342-matt going to play this ? For one thing , [I]_2342-matt ’m less than delighted at the thought of spending more time than [I]_2342-matt have to at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} under the icy glare of old pouty face , and for another , [I]_2342-matt need to keep on top of [[my]_2342-matt current clients]_{3163-my current clients} . That ’s what [they]_{3163-my current clients} are paying [me]_2342-matt for . [He]_1827-he does n’t want to share [me]_2342-matt ? What ? With [anyone]_2475-anyone ? And for how long ? ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t need to be at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} to collate designs , [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’ [He]_1827-he lifts [me]_327-jesse into the bath and starts undressing [himself]_1827-he . ‘_[327-jesse] Yes , [you]_2342-matt do . ’ [I]_2342-matt sink down into the hot water . It ’s a welcome relief for [my]_2342-matt screaming muscles . It ’s a shame it wo n’t relax [my]_2342-matt screaming brain . ‘_[2342-matt] No , [I]_2342-matt do n’t . ’ [I]_2342-matt affirm . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] attempting to put [my]_2342-matt foot down again . What a laugh ! [I]_2342-matt look up to a very disgruntled face as [he]_327-jesse climbs in behind [me]_2342-matt and pulls [my]_2342-matt back against [his]_327-jesse chest . [He]_327-jesse ’s silent for a short while before [he]_327-jesse takes a deep breath . ‘ If [I]_327-jesse let [you]_3315-you go to [the office]_{279-the office} , [you]_3315-you have to do something for [me]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] If [he]_327-jesse lets [me]_2342-matt ? [This man]_327-jesse is beyond self - assured and arrogant . But [he]_327-jesse ’s negotiating , which is an improvement on demanding or forcing [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Okay . What ? ’_[327-jesse] ‘ [You]_3315-you ’ll come to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} ’s anniversary party . ’_[327-jesse] ‘ What ? Like a social event ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , exactly like a social event . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m glad [he]_327-jesse ca n’t see [my]_327-jesse face , because if [he]_327-jesse could , [he]_327-jesse would see a screwed up contortion of displeasure . So , now [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] between a rock and a hard place . [I]_2342-matt get out of going to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} today , but [I]_2342-matt ’m negotiating delaying the chore , not completely avoiding it . And for a social event ? [I]_2342-matt would rather boil [my]_2342-matt head ! ‘_[2342-matt] When ? ’ [I]_2342-matt sound less enthused than [I]_2342-matt feel , and that ’s saying something . ‘_[2342-matt] Two weeks today . ’ [He]_327-jesse wraps [his]_327-jesse arms around the tops of [my]_2342-matt shoulders and nuzzles [his]_327-jesse face into [my]_2342-matt neck . [I]_2342-matt should be dancing around [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} in joy . [He]_327-jesse wants to take [me]_2342-matt as a date . It does n’t matter that it ’s [the posh hotel that [he]_327-jesse owns]_850-there , [he]_327-jesse wants [me]_2342-matt [there]_850-there . But [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not sure [I]_2342-matt ’m prepared to spend the evening under the unfriendly , watchful eye of [Sarah]_54-victoria . And it ’s a dead cert that [she]_54-victoria ’ll be there . ‘_[1832-my] [You]_1832-my ’ll come . ’ [He]_327-jesse thrusts [his]_327-jesse tongue in [my]_1832-my ear , swirls it around a few times and kisses under the hollow of [my]_1832-my lobe , before thrusting it back in [my]_1832-my ear . [I]_1832-my squirm under [his]_327-jesse hot tongue , [my]_1832-my body slipping over [his]_327-jesse . ‘_[1832-my] Stop ! ’ [I]_1832-my shudder . ‘_[1832-my] No . ’ [He]_327-jesse squeezes [me]_1832-my to [him]_327-jesse as [I]_1832-my writher , water splashing everywhere . ‘_[1832-my] Say [you]_1832-my ’ll come . ’ ‘_[327-jesse] No ! [Jesse]_327-jesse ! ’ [I]_327-jesse laugh when [his]_327-jesse hand moves to [my]_327-jesse hip . ‘_[327-jesse] Stop ! ’ ‘_[327-jesse] Please . ’ [he]_327-jesse purrs in [my]_327-jesse ear . [I]_327-jesse stop struggling . Please ? Did [I]_327-jesse hear [him]_327-jesse right ? [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] stunned on the spot . [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse said please ? Okay , so [he]_327-jesse ’s brokering a deal , and [he]_327-jesse said please . Well , on the bright side , at least [I]_2342-matt know [he]_327-jesse ’s looking at least a few weeks into the future with [me]_2342-matt . If [I]_2342-matt had of spent all day at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} today , there ’s not a shadow of a doubt that [I]_2342-matt would be attending The Manors anniversary party anyway . [I]_2342-matt should be grateful , [I]_2342-matt suppose . ‘ Okay , [I]_2342-matt ’ll come . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt sigh , earning [myself]_2342-matt a super tight squeeze and an over - the - top nuzzle . [I]_2342-matt reach up and wrap [my]_2342-matt hands around [his]_327-jesse forearms . [I]_2342-matt ’ve made [him]_327-jesse happy . And that , in turn , makes [me]_2342-matt very happy . So , [I]_2342-matt ’m going to be [his]_327-jesse date . That will please [Sarah]_54-victoria no end . Actually , [I]_2342-matt will go , and [I]_2342-matt ’ll look forward to it too . [He]_327-jesse wants [me]_2342-matt [there]_850-there , and that has to signify something , does n’t it ? [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help the little satisfied smile playing at the corners of [my]_2342-matt mouth . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not usually the competitive type , but [I]_2342-matt really dislike [Sarah]_54-victoria and [I]_2342-matt really like [Jesse]_327-jesse , so it ’s [a no brainer]_{1834-a no brainer} really . ‘ How many years ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . ‘ What ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} ’s anniversary , how many years is it ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ A few , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt crane [my]_2342-matt neck around to get [him]_327-jesse in [my]_2342-matt line of sight , finding a completely blank expression . [He]_327-jesse ’s giving nothing away . [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head , turning back around and letting [him]_327-jesse have [his]_327-jesse stupid age secret . [I]_2342-matt ’m past caring now . [I]_2342-matt love [him]_327-jesse – nothing could change that . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve never had a bath before . ’ [he]_327-jesse says quietly . ‘_[2342-matt] Never ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] No , never , [I]_2342-matt ’m [a shower man]_327-jesse . But [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt might be [a bath man]_327-jesse now . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt love having a bath . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Me]_{1835-the designer of this place} too , but only if [you]_{1835-the designer of this place} ’re_{[1835-the designer of this place]} in it with [me]_2342-matt , ’ [He]_327-jesse squeezes [me]_{1835-the designer of this place} . ‘_{[1835-the designer of this place]} It ’s a good job [the designer of [this place]_310-whoever]_{1835-the designer of this place} anticipated the need for [a big one]_{1837-a big one} . ’ [I]_{1835-the designer of this place} laugh . ‘_{[1835-the designer of this place]} [I]_2342-matt think [she]_{1835-the designer of this place} did well . ’ Never in a million years did [I]_{1835-the designer of this place} anticipate enjoying a soak in it when [I]_{1835-the designer of this place} helped coordinate the crane lift of the damn thing . At the time , [I]_{1835-the designer of this place} was regretting being so extravagant , but now [I]_{1835-the designer of this place} ’m_{[1835-the designer of this place]} reaping the benefits of the giant , bespoke tub , it was definitely a ball ache worth enduring . ‘ [I]_{1835-the designer of this place} wonder if [she]_{1835-the designer of this place} ever considered being in it ? ’_{[1835-the designer of this place]} [he]_{1835-the designer of this place} muses . ‘ No , [she]_{1835-the designer of this place} did n’t . ’_{[1835-the designer of this place]} ‘ Well , [I]_{1835-the designer of this place} ’m_{[1835-the designer of this place]} glad [she]_{1835-the designer of this place} is . ’ [He]_{1835-the designer of this place} tugs at [my]_1838-my ear lobe with [his]_{1835-the designer of this place} teeth as [I]_1838-my feel [his]_{1835-the designer of this place} feet slide down [my]_1838-my shins , rubbing across the tops of [my]_1838-my feet above the bubbly water . [I]_1838-my close [my]_1838-my eyes and rest [my]_1838-my head against [his]_{1835-the designer of this place} chest . Perhaps [I]_1838-my should ditch work and stay with [him]_{1835-the designer of this place} all day after all . In [my]_1838-my sleepy bath time slumber , [I]_1838-my decide that tub talk with [Jesse]_327-jesse is one of [my]_1838-my new favourite pastimes . And [I]_1838-my might even start running in the morning . Not crazy distances , but around [the Royal Parks]_{3321-the royal parks} once or twice every other morning . [I]_1838-my must remember to stretch . ‘_[1838-my] [You]_1838-my ’re going to be late for work . ’_[1838-my] [he]_1838-my says softly in [my]_2342-matt ear . [I]_2342-matt pout to [myself]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m way too comfortable . ‘_[2342-matt] Just think … if [you]_1838-my did n’t go to [the office]_{279-the office} , [we]_1840-i could stay longer . ’ [He]_1838-my kisses [my]_1840-i temple and rises to get out , leaving [me]_1840-i silently wishing [I]_1840-i had of relented to [his]_1838-my insistence on staying with [him]_1838-my all day . [I]_1840-i give [my]_1840-i own little private huff of disgust and grab [the men]_{1716-the women} ’s shampoo . It looks like it ’s going to be another bad hair day . Chapter 31 [I]_1840-i pad into [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} and find [my]_1840-i cream , fitted dress spread out on the bed , with [my]_1840-i nude heels and some fancy lace underwear that [I]_1840-i do n’t recognise . [I]_1840-i frown to [myself]_1840-i , picking up the unfamiliar bra and knickers set . [He]_1838-my ’s brought [me]_1840-i underwear , and [he]_1838-my ’s brought [me]_1840-i underwear in the right size ? [He]_1838-my really does think [he]_1838-my can dictate [my]_1840-i wardrobe . [I]_1840-i thread [my]_1840-i fingers over the pretty , delicate lace in a soft cream colour . It ’s beautiful , but a bit over the top for work . [I]_1840-i start going through [my]_1840-i gym bag to find an alternative , but there ’s no underwear to be found and no other option in [the clothes department]_{3324-the clothes department} either . In fact , there are no other clothes at all , the sly sod . [I]_1840-i resign [myself]_1840-i to accepting [my]_1840-i fate , getting [myself]_1840-i ready and slipping into the underwear and dress that [Jesse]_327-jesse has decided [I]_1840-i ’m_[1840-i] wearing today . [I]_2342-matt suppose [I]_2342-matt should be grateful that [he]_1841-he ’s not laid out [my]_2342-matt oversized , chunky knit jumper . [I]_2342-matt ’m super relieved that [he]_1841-he ’s had the initiative to leave [me]_2342-matt a hairdryer , though . [I]_2342-matt apply [my]_2342-matt make - up , blow - dry [my]_2342-matt hair into a tousled , slightly messy mass , pile it up and make [my]_2342-matt way [downstairs]_{2323-downstairs} . [I]_2342-matt find [Jesse]_327-jesse at [the kitchen island on [his]_327-jesse mobile]_{3326-the kitchen island on his mobile} , dunking [his]_327-jesse finger into a jar of peanut butter . [He]_327-jesse glances up at [me]_2342-matt , nearly knocking [me]_2342-matt off of [my]_2342-matt heels with [his]_327-jesse roguish smile . Oh yes , [he]_327-jesse ’s super satisfied with [himself]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt run [my]_2342-matt eyes over [his]_327-jesse grey suited , black shirted physic and sigh in admiration . [His]_327-jesse dirty blonde hair has been ruffled with wax and set in a messy array to one side , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] super appreciative that [he]_1842-he ’s not shaved . [He]_1842-he looks rugged and mind - bogglingly handsome . Why did [I]_2342-matt insist on going to work ? ‘ [I]_1842-he ’ll be there when [I]_1842-he ’ve dropped [Ava]_832-ava at work . ’_[1842-he] [He]_1842-he turns [himself]_1842-he on the stool , cocking [his]_1842-he head to the side . ‘ Yes , tell [Sarah]_54-victoria [I]_1842-he want it on [my]_1842-he desk when [I]_1842-he get there . ’_[1842-he] [He]_1842-he pats [his]_1842-he lap , and [I]_2342-matt make [my]_2342-matt way over , fighting the scowl from [my]_2342-matt face at the mention of [her]_1843-her name . ‘ [We]_3327-we revoke [his]_1842-he membership , simple . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt lower [myself]_2342-matt onto [his]_1842-he knee , smiling when [he]_1842-he buries [himself]_1842-he in [my]_2342-matt neck and inhales deeply . ‘ [He]_1842-he can kick off all [he]_1842-he likes , [he]_1842-he ’s gone , end of . ’_[1842-he] [he]_1842-he spits harshly . What ’s [he]_1842-he on about ? ‘ Get [Sarah]_54-victoria to cancel it … yes … okay … see [you]_54-victoria in a bit . ’_[1842-he] [He]_1842-he hangs up , tosses [his]_1842-he phone on the worktop and snakes [his]_1842-he arms under [my]_2342-matt knees to pull [me]_2342-matt up from floor and onto [his]_1842-he lap , greeting [me]_2342-matt with a greedy , full on kiss . [He]_1842-he moans into [my]_2342-matt mouth in pure satisfaction . ‘ [I]_1842-he like [your]_54-victoria dress . ’_[1842-he] [he]_1842-he mumbles around [my]_2342-matt lips . [He]_1842-he ’s extra minty , mixed with a little peanut butter . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t stand peanut butter , but [I]_2342-matt love [him]_1842-he and all this attentiveness , so [I]_2342-matt ’ll ignore it . ‘ [You]_54-victoria picked it . Of course [you]_54-victoria like it . What ’s with the underwear ? ’_[1842-he] [He]_1842-he pecks [my]_2342-matt lips and puts [me]_2342-matt down . ‘ [I]_1842-he told [you]_54-victoria , always in lace . ’_[1842-he] [He]_1842-he runs [his]_1842-he eyes down [my]_2342-matt body . [I]_2342-matt do n’t argue – a pointless exercise if ever there was one , and [I]_2342-matt ’ve got it on now . ‘ Breakfast ? ’_[1842-he] [he]_1842-he asks . [I]_2342-matt glance at the clock on the cooker . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll grab something at [the office]_{279-the office} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t be late . [I]_2342-matt grab [my]_2342-matt bag to get [my]_2342-matt pills . ‘ Can [I]_2342-matt have some water ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Knock [yourself]_2342-matt out , [baby]_832-ava . ’_[1842-he] [He]_1842-he returns to [his]_1842-he jar of peanut butter . [I]_2342-matt walk over to the huge fridge - freezer , delving into the deepest depths of [my]_2342-matt bag . Where are [they]_1844-they ? [I]_2342-matt slap [my]_2342-matt bag onto the worktop next to the fridge , removing everything , but [I]_2342-matt find no pills . Please , not again . [I]_2342-matt ’m hopeless . ‘_[2342-matt] What ’s up ? ’ [he]_1842-he asks . ‘_[2342-matt] Nothing , ’ [I]_2342-matt mutter , dumping everything back into [my]_2342-matt bag . ‘_[2342-matt] Fuck . ’ [I]_2342-matt curse under [my]_2342-matt breath , but then mentally applaud [myself]_2342-matt for separating the packets and putting some in [my]_2342-matt underwear drawer . ‘_[2342-matt] Watch [your]_1845-you mouth , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_1842-he rebukes [me]_832-ava . ‘_[832-ava] Come on , [you]_1845-you ’ll be late . ’ ‘_[1845-you] Sorry , ’ [I]_327-jesse mutter . ‘_[327-jesse] This is [your]_1845-you fault , [Ward]_327-jesse . ’ [I]_1845-you swing [my]_1845-you bag onto [my]_1845-you shoulder . ‘_[1845-you] [Mine]_1845-you ? ’ [he]_1842-he blurts , all wide eyed . ‘_[1845-you] What ’s [my]_2342-matt fault and how ? ’ ‘_[1845-you] Nothing , but it ’s [your]_1845-you fault because [you]_1845-you ’re distracting [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt accuse . [He]_1846-he looks down at [me]_2342-matt , [his]_1846-he lips twitching . ‘ [You]_1845-you love [me]_1846-he distracting [you]_1845-you . ’_[1846-he] [I]_2342-matt do as well . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t deny it . [I]_2342-matt ’m delivered to [Berkeley Square]_{47-berkeley square} in record time . [He]_1846-he really is a menace on [the roads]_{570-the roads} , in [[his]_1846-he stupidly expensive car]_{3331-his stupidly expensive car} . [He]_1846-he parks illegally on [the corner]_{1650-the corner} and turns [himself]_1846-he to face [me]_2342-matt . [He]_1846-he ’s chewing [his]_1846-he bottom lip and [he]_1846-he has been for most of the journey . What ’s [he]_1846-he thinking about ? ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt love waking up with [you]_1847-him . ’ [he]_1846-he says gently , reaching over and running [his]_1846-he thumb across [my]_1847-him bottom lip . [I]_1847-him turn in [my]_1847-him seat so [I]_1847-him ’m_[1847-him] facing [him]_1847-him . ‘ [I]_2342-matt love waking up with [you]_1847-him too . But [I]_2342-matt do n’t like being run ragged at five in the morning . ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt legs are really feeling it , and it ’s only going to get worse . [I]_2342-matt did n’t stretch after the run because [I]_2342-matt was sidetracked by [Mr Challenging]_{238-mr challenging} and [his]_{238-mr challenging} challenging ways . [My]_2342-matt day is looking to be really uncomfortable with [my]_2342-matt nude heels to boot . ‘ [You]_1848-you would prefer to be fucked ragged ? ’_{[238-mr challenging]} [He]_{238-mr challenging} grins that roguish grin , running [his]_{238-mr challenging} palm down the front on [my]_2342-matt dress . Oh , no [you]_1848-you do n’t ! ‘ No , [I]_2342-matt prefer sleepy sex . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt correct [him]_1847-him . [I]_2342-matt lean over , plant a chaste kiss on [his]_1847-him mouth and get out of [the car]_{548-the car} , leaving [him]_1847-him and [his]_1847-him frown line alone . [I]_2342-matt lean back in . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll be seeing [you]_1848-you tomorrow . Thank [you]_1848-you for exhausting [me]_2342-matt before work . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shut the door and start walking off on [my]_2342-matt abused legs in the most uncomfortable shoes [I]_2342-matt own . Thank God [I]_2342-matt ’ve got a day in [the office]_{279-the office} because [I]_2342-matt could n’t be prancing around [London]_5-london in these beauties . [My]_2342-matt phone shouts at [me]_2342-matt from [my]_2342-matt bag . [I]_2342-matt pull it out . [You]_1851-i look incredible in that dress . Good choice . [You]_1851-i ’re welcome . Jx Turning around , [I]_1851-i see [him]_1847-him watching [me]_1851-i walk away . [I]_1851-i perform a little rotation and catch [his]_1847-him dazzling smile before [I]_1851-i hear the guttural roar of [[his]_1847-him car]_{2476-his car} go speeding off . [I]_1851-i smile to [myself]_1851-i . [He]_1847-him ’s been really rather reasonable this morning . [I]_1851-i walk into [the office]_{279-the office} and find [Tom]_60-tom consoling [Victoria]_54-victoria at [her]_54-victoria desk . [I]_1851-i roll [my]_1851-i eyes to [myself]_1851-i . What drama has occurred at eight thirty on a Friday morning ? ‘_[1851-i] Just get it fixed . ’ [Tom]_60-tom soothes , rubbing [her]_54-victoria back . [I]_1851-i look down , finding [Victoria]_54-victoria inspecting [her]_54-victoria thumb nail . [I]_1851-i roll [my]_1851-i eyes again . ‘_[1851-i] [I]_2342-matt do n’t have time today , ’ [she]_54-victoria cries . ‘_[1851-i] This is a disaster ! ’ [She]_54-victoria broke a flipping nail ? [The girl]_54-victoria should have sought a career in [stage school]_{3335-stage school} . But then [I]_1851-i remember … [she]_54-victoria has a date with [Drew]_327-jesse tonight . Oh , this really is a disaster for [Victoria]_54-victoria . [I]_1851-i make [my]_1851-i way to [my]_1851-i desk as [she]_54-victoria files down [her]_54-victoria broken nail , [Tom]_60-tom continuing to rub [her]_54-victoria back . [He]_60-tom looks up at [me]_1851-i , making an equally dramatic give - [me]_1851-i - strength gesture before virtually sprinting over to [my]_1851-i side of [the office]_{279-the office} . [I]_1851-i know what ’s coming . [He]_60-tom plants [his]_60-tom palms on [my]_1851-i desk , leaning forward . ‘_[1851-i] What was all that about ? ’ ‘_[1851-i] Shhhhhhh ! ’ [I]_1852-him scowl at [him]_60-tom , looking over [my]_1852-him shoulder into [[Patrick]_327-jesse ’s office]_{279-the office} . [He]_327-jesse ’s not there , but [he]_327-jesse could be in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} or [the conference room]_{3338-the conference room} . [I]_1852-him should have known [[my]_1852-him gay , inquisitive friend]_{3339-my gay , inquisitive friend} would be picking [my]_1852-him brain on [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s shock visit to [the office]_{279-the office} yesterday . In fact , [I]_1852-him ’m_[1852-him] surprised [he]_1852-him held out until this morning . [Tom]_60-tom waves a dismissive hand . ‘ [He]_60-tom ’s not here . Tell [me]_60-tom ! ’_[60-tom] [I]_2342-matt focus [my]_2342-matt attention on [my]_2342-matt computer , turning it on and faffing with the mouse . What do [I]_2342-matt tell [him]_1852-him ? [I]_2342-matt ’ve fallen in love with [a controlling , domineering , unreasonable , neurotic , trampling man]_{1853-a controlling , domineering , unreasonable , neurotic , trampling man} , who happens to be [a client]_{2741-a client} and fucks [me]_2342-matt senseless ? Oh , who also gives [me]_2342-matt the countdown when [I]_2342-matt disobey [him]_1852-him ? Yes , that about covers it . [I]_2342-matt look up and find [Victoria]_54-victoria ’s joined the interrogation party . ‘ [He]_1852-him ’s [one hot S.O.B]_{3340-one hot s.o.b} ! ’_[1855-she] [she]_1855-she sings . ‘ [S.O.B]_239-s.o.b ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt frown . ‘ [Son of [a bitch]_{2978-a bitch}]_{3341-son of a bitch} . ’_[1856-they] [they]_1856-they say in unison . Oh ? Yes , [he]_1852-him ’s that too . [I]_2342-matt smile to [myself]_2342-matt , stretching [my]_2342-matt legs under the table on a sigh . Oh , that feels good . ‘ Do n’t hold out on [us]_3343-us ! ’_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom whines , executing the gayest pout [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever seen . ‘ [I]_60-tom ’m_[60-tom] sleeping with [him]_1852-him . ’ [I]_60-tom shrug . [I]_60-tom ’m_[60-tom] in love with [him]_1852-him ! [They]_1856-they both look at [me]_2342-matt like [I]_2342-matt ’ve sprouted horns , then at each other on an eye roll . Both sets of arms get folded across [their]_1856-they chests as [they]_1856-they stand before [me]_2342-matt . [Tom]_60-tom looks over [his]_60-tom fashion spectacles , and [I]_2342-matt glance over [my]_2342-matt desk to see if [they]_1856-they ’re tapping [their]_1856-they feet as well . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [we]_1857-we know that , ’ [Tom]_60-tom huffs impatiently . ‘_[1856-they] [We]_1857-we just want to know if the rebound fucking has moved into more interesting territory . ’ [He]_60-tom lowers [his]_60-tom head further down , making [me]_1856-they feel like [I]_1856-they ’m_[1856-they] under a microscope . [I]_2342-matt am . [I]_2342-matt remove the fingers from [my]_2342-matt hair . ‘ [I]_54-victoria could ask [Drew]_327-jesse . ’_{[54-victoria]} [Victoria]_54-victoria chirps . ‘ What ? ’_{[54-victoria]} [I]_2342-matt throw a filthy look in [her]_54-victoria direction when [I]_2342-matt realise what [she]_54-victoria means . ‘ [Victoria]_54-victoria , [I]_54-victoria ’m_{[54-victoria]} not in high school . [I]_2342-matt do n’t need [you]_1858-i picking [[his]_1858-i friends]_{1859-his friends} brain . Keep [your]_1858-i mouth shut ! ’ [I]_1858-i sound really harsh , but [I]_1858-i honestly can not believe [she]_54-victoria has just suggested something so pathetic and immature . [She]_54-victoria looks at [me]_1858-i all hurt and backs off , returning to [her]_54-victoria desk and [her]_54-victoria broken nail . [Tom]_60-tom looks at [me]_1858-i , disapproval written all over [his]_60-tom face . [I]_1858-i shake [my]_1858-i head at [him]_60-tom . [I]_1858-i do n’t care . [She]_54-victoria can be such a ditsy cow sometimes . ‘_[1858-i] It ’s sex , nothing more . ’ [I]_1858-i inform [him]_60-tom . ‘_[1858-i] Now , leave [me]_2342-matt alone ! ’ [I]_1858-i grab [my]_1858-i mouse and direct it aimlessly around [my]_1858-i screen . ‘_[1858-i] Hmmm , ’ [he]_60-tom muses , leaving [me]_1858-i at [my]_1858-i desk in peace . ‘_[1858-i] Just sex , [my]_2342-matt arse . ’ [I]_1858-i hear [him]_60-tom mutter . [I]_1858-i spend the morning checking on [[my]_1858-i clients]_{3344-my clients} and schedules . [I]_1858-i ’m_[1858-i] pleased . Everything is running smoothly , with no major dramas to attend to and [no lazy contractors]_{1860-no lazy contractors} to sack . [I]_2342-matt pencil in a few site visits for next week , smiling as [I]_2342-matt write between the diagonal lines of permanent marker pen . [I]_2342-matt need to replace [my]_2342-matt diary before [Patrick]_327-jesse cops a load of [my]_2342-matt daily appointments with [the Lord]_{349-the lord} . [I]_2342-matt gladly accept the cappuccino and muffin that lands on [my]_2342-matt desk , courtesy of [Sally]_54-victoria , and frown when [I]_2342-matt hear a commotion of car horns coming from outside [the office]_{279-the office} . [I]_2342-matt look up , spotting [a pink van double parked]_{1863-a pink van double parked} and [Kate]_2557-kate frantically waving to get [my]_2342-matt attention . [I]_2342-matt lift [myself]_2342-matt from [my]_2342-matt chair , groaning as [my]_2342-matt muscles scream in protest . [I]_2342-matt hiss on every step [I]_2342-matt take until [I]_2342-matt ’m stood at the side of [Margo Junior]_1052-margo , smiling fondly at [[my]_2557-kate fiery friend]_1052-margo ’s excited face . ‘_[2557-kate] Is n’t [she]_2557-kate pretty ? ’ [Kate]_2557-kate lovingly caresses the steering wheel of [Margo Junior]_1052-margo . ‘_[2557-kate] Beautiful , ’ [I]_2557-kate agree , but then [I]_2557-kate remember something . ‘_[2557-kate] What are [you]_1864-you playing at letting [Sam]_1914-sam have free reign on [my]_2342-matt underwear drawer ? ’ ‘_[1914-sam] [I]_2342-matt could n’t stop [him]_1914-sam ! ’ [Her]_2557-kate voice is high pitched and defensive . It bloody well should be . ‘_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam ’s a cheeky swine . ’ [She]_2557-kate grins . [I]_1914-sam ’ve no doubt that [he]_1914-sam is . The thought instantly reminds [me]_1914-sam about the whole tying up charade . [I]_1914-sam ’m_[1914-sam] tempted to ask [Kate]_2557-kate , but [I]_2342-matt quickly decide that [I]_2342-matt really do n’t want to know . ‘ How ’s [Jesse]_327-jesse ? ’_[2557-kate] [Her]_2557-kate grin widens . ‘ Fine , ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt narrow [my]_2342-matt eyes on [her]_2557-kate . ‘ [You]_2557-kate stayed there , ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate says , [her]_2557-kate tone suggestive . ‘ Have fun ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scoff . ‘ Well , [I]_2342-matt had a wild ride on [a Ducati 1098]_{3345-a ducati 1098} , had daggers thrown at [me]_2342-matt by [Sarah]_54-victoria and ran nine miles this morning . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt reach down , rubbing [my]_2342-matt hands over [my]_2342-matt aching thighs . ‘ Fuck , is [she]_2557-kate still at it ? Tell [her]_2557-kate to take a leap . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate frowns . ‘ [You]_2557-kate ran nine miles ? Well , that stinks . And what the hell is [a Ducatsiwhatevery]_{3346-a ducatsiwhatevery} ? ’_[2557-kate] ‘ [A superbike]_{3347-a superbike} , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shrug . [I]_2342-matt would n’t have known that [myself]_2342-matt a few days ago . ‘ [He]_{3347-a superbike} ’s deposited a hundred grand into [the Rococo Union bank account]_{3348-the rococo union bank account} . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ What ? ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate shrieks . ‘ [You]_2557-kate heard . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ Why ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shrug . ‘ To keep [Patrick]_327-jesse quiet while [he]_327-jesse hogs [me]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse does n’t want to share [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Wow ! [That man]_{1410-crazy man} ’s crazy . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt laugh . Yes , [crazy man]_{1410-crazy man} ; crazy deluded ; crazy rich ; crazy challenging , crazy loveable … ‘ Are [we]_3349-we out tonight ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [I]_2342-matt ’ve rebuffed [crazy man]_{1410-crazy man} on the assumption that [Kate]_2557-kate ’s free . [He]_{1410-crazy man} ca n’t assume [I]_2342-matt ’m there to fuck at [his]_{1410-crazy man} beck and call . It is very tempting , though . ‘_[2342-matt] Absolutely ! Ask [Victoria]_54-victoria and [Gayboy]_150-gayboy . ’ [I]_54-victoria sag in relief . ‘_{[54-victoria]} [Victoria]_54-victoria has a date with [Drew]_327-jesse , but [I]_2342-matt ’ll ask [Tom]_60-tom . Are [you]_60-tom not seeing [Sam]_1914-sam then ? [He]_1914-sam ’s becoming a bit of a permanent fixture at [[your]_60-tom place]_{1866-your place} . ’ [I]_1914-sam arch a brow . [He]_1914-sam ’s actually a semi naked permanent fixture , but [I]_1914-sam do n’t point that out . [She]_{1867-the girl who has n’t been on a second date for years} ’s going to play it off as fun . ‘_[1914-sam] It ’s just a bit of fun . ’ [she]_{1867-the girl who has n’t been on a second date for years} replies haughtily . [I]_1914-sam laugh at [her]_{1867-the girl who has n’t been on a second date for years} casualness . [I]_1914-sam know different . [We]_3350-we ’re_[1914-sam] talking about [the girl who has n’t been on a second date for years]_{1867-the girl who has n’t been on a second date for years} . [Sam]_1914-sam ’s cute . [I]_2342-matt can certainly see the appeal . [A car]_{2474-a car} starts honking its horn from behind [Margo Junior]_1052-margo . ‘ Oh , fuck off ! ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate yells . ‘ [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] off . [I]_2342-matt ’ll see [you]_60-tom at [home]_281-home later . [You]_60-tom ’re in charge of getting the wine . ’_[2557-kate] The window starts to rise and [she]_2557-kate grins from ear to ear . [I]_2342-matt still ca n’t believe [he]_1914-sam brought [her]_2557-kate [a van]_{3091-a van} . [I]_2342-matt suddenly remember the deal [I]_2342-matt brokered in exchange for [my]_2342-matt clothes … no drinking tonight . Well , that ’s rubbish because [I]_2342-matt ’m looking forward to a glass or two . [He]_327-jesse ’ll never know . [Kate]_2557-kate zooms off down [the road]_{2482-the road} , and [I]_327-jesse return to [the office]_{279-the office} . ‘_[327-jesse] [Patrick]_327-jesse called , ’ [Sally]_54-victoria informs [me]_327-jesse as [I]_327-jesse pass [her]_54-victoria desk . ‘_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse ’s not coming in at all today . [He]_327-jesse ’s playing golf . ’ ‘_[327-jesse] Thanks , [Sal]_54-victoria . ’ [I]_54-victoria return to [my]_54-victoria desk , stretching [my]_54-victoria legs back out . Yes , [I]_54-victoria ’m_{[54-victoria]} really feeling it now . Standing back up , [I]_2342-matt pull [my]_2342-matt heel up to [my]_2342-matt backside , letting out a long , grateful breath when [my]_2342-matt thigh muscle stretches most satisfyingly . [My]_2342-matt phone starts jumping around [my]_2342-matt desk and [Placebo]_1871-placebo starts crooning about Running up [that Hill]_1871-placebo . [I]_2342-matt do n’t even have to look at the screen to know who it is . [He]_327-jesse has amazing taste in music . ‘ [I]_2342-matt like . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say , by way of greeting . ‘ [Me]_2342-matt too . [We]_3353-we ’ll make love to it later . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[327-jesse] not seeing [me]_2342-matt later . ’ [I]_2342-matt remind [him]_327-jesse again . [He]_327-jesse ’s doing this on purpose . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt miss [you]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt ca n’t see [him]_327-jesse , but [I]_2342-matt know [he]_327-jesse ’s pouting . And as for the make love part … well , it ’s a massive improvement on fucking . [I]_2342-matt smile , [my]_2342-matt heart performing jumping jacks in [my]_2342-matt chest . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt miss [me]_2342-matt ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do , [I]_2342-matt miss [you]_2342-matt . ’ [he]_327-jesse grumbles . [I]_2342-matt glance at [my]_2342-matt computer . It ’s one o’clock . It ’s not even been five hours since [I]_2342-matt left [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t go out tonight . ’ [he]_327-jesse says . It ’s not a plea , it ’s a demand . [I]_2342-matt flop back in [my]_2342-matt chair . [I]_2342-matt knew this was coming . ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t . ’ [I]_2342-matt warn , in the most assertive voice [I]_2342-matt can muster . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve made plans . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt know , [you]_2342-matt may be at work , but do n’t think [I]_2342-matt wo n’t come down there and fuck some sense into [you]_2342-matt . ’ [His]_2342-matt voice is deadly serious and even a little angry . [He]_2342-matt would n’t , [he]_2342-matt could n’t . Or could [he]_2342-matt ? Bloody hell , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not even sure . ‘ Knock [yourself]_2342-matt out . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt respond , very lightly . [He]_2342-matt laughs . ‘ [I]_2342-matt was serious , [lady]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt know [you]_2342-matt were . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve no doubt about it , but [he]_2342-matt will have to wait until tomorrow to do any sort of fucking . ‘ Do [your]_2342-matt legs ache ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks , just as [I]_2342-matt ’m stretching them under [my]_2342-matt desk again . ‘_[2342-matt] -ish , ’ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not giving [him]_2342-matt the satisfaction of knowing that [I]_2342-matt ’m actually in pain . [I]_2342-matt ’ll have a Radox bath before [I]_2342-matt go out . Hold up … was [he]_2342-matt trying to cripple [me]_2342-matt so [I]_2342-matt ca n’t go out ? ‘_[2342-matt] -ish , ’ [he]_2342-matt replies , humour clear in [his]_2342-matt husky voice . ‘_[2342-matt] Remember [our]_1872-our deal ? ’ [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes to [myself]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt was kidding [myself]_2342-matt if [I]_2342-matt thought [he]_2342-matt would forget about [his]_2342-matt little deal . And now [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] certain [he]_2342-matt had [me]_2342-matt running a marathon at the break of dawn in an attempt to immobilise [me]_2342-matt . [Control freak]_{1244-control freak} ! ‘ No reminder fuck required . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mutter . [He]_2342-matt ’ll never know . [I]_2342-matt ’m not going to get so drunk that [I]_2342-matt have a raging hangover – it ’s too soon after [my]_2342-matt last performance . ‘_[2342-matt] Watch [your]_1874-your mouth , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_2342-matt sighs , tiredly . ‘_[832-ava] And [I]_2342-matt ’ll decide when and if a reminder fuck is necessary . ’ [He]_2342-matt ’s serious ? [I]_241-roger gape a little down the phone . Has [he]_2342-matt no sense of humour ? [I]_241-roger stand up again , pulling [my]_241-roger thigh to [my]_241-roger butt on a satisfied groan . Damn [him]_2342-matt and [his]_2342-matt break of dawn run . ‘_[241-roger] [Roger]_241-roger that . ’ [I]_241-roger confirm with all the sarcasm it deserves . ‘_[241-roger] When will [I]_2342-matt see [you]_241-roger ? ’ [he]_2342-matt sighs . ‘_[241-roger] Tomorrow ? ’ [I]_2342-matt really do want to see [him]_2342-matt , despite [his]_2342-matt challenging ways . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll pick [you]_241-roger up at eight . ’ Eight ? It ’s a Saturday , [I]_2342-matt want a lay in . Eight ? [I]_2342-matt really wo n’t be getting drunk , not if [Jesse]_327-jesse is going to be rocking up at eight . ‘_[2342-matt] Noon , ’ [I]_2342-matt counter . ‘_[2342-matt] Eight . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Eleven . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Eight ! ’ [he]_2342-matt barks . ‘_[241-roger] [You]_241-roger ’re supposed to meet [me]_2342-matt half way ! ’_[2342-matt] [The man]_2342-matt is impossible . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll see [you]_241-roger at eight . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt hangs up , leaving [me]_2342-matt on one leg with [my]_2342-matt phone hanging from [my]_2342-matt ear . [I]_2342-matt look at [my]_2342-matt mobile disbelievingly . [He]_2342-matt can turn up at eight all [he]_2342-matt likes ; [I]_2342-matt wo n’t be awake to let [him]_2342-matt in . And [I]_2342-matt seriously doubt [Kate]_2557-kate will be either . [I]_2342-matt sink [my]_2342-matt achy body back into [my]_2342-matt chair on a few sharp inhales of breath . [I]_2342-matt ’m never running again . ‘_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom , ’ [I]_1876-i call . ‘_[1876-i] [We]_1876-i ’re out tonight , [you]_60-tom coming ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt looks up with a dirty , great big grin on [his]_2342-matt baby face . ‘ [I]_2342-matt shall decline graciously , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt bows [his]_2342-matt head like the gentleman [I]_2342-matt know [he]_2342-matt ’s not . ‘ [I]_2342-matt have a date ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Another ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_54-victoria ca n’t come . [I]_54-victoria assume [you]_60-tom were going to ask [me]_54-victoria . ’_{[54-victoria]} [Victoria]_54-victoria huffs without looking up from [her]_54-victoria drawings . [I]_2342-matt do n’t dignify [her]_54-victoria sarcasm with a response , flashing [my]_2342-matt screwed up face to [her]_54-victoria back instead . ‘ Yes ! This one is definitely [a keeper]_{3354-a keeper} . ’_[60-tom] [Tom]_60-tom nods with the biggest smirk on [his]_60-tom face . [I]_2342-matt leave [Tom]_60-tom with [his]_60-tom grin , returning to [my]_2342-matt computer . [They]_{1877-all keepers} ’re [all keepers]_{1877-all keepers} . [I]_{1877-all keepers} leave [the office]_{2819-the shop} at six , heading straight to [the shop]_{2819-the shop} to get some Radox and a bottle of wine , before making [my]_{1877-all keepers} way to the tube . [I]_{1877-all keepers} fight off the temptation to open the wine here and now . It ’s Friday , [I]_{1877-all keepers} ’m_{[1877-all keepers]} catching up with [Kate]_2557-kate tonight and spending the day with [my]_2342-matt challenging control freak tomorrow . Perfect . [I]_2342-matt walk through the front door , finding a half - naked [Sam]_1914-sam walking out of [[Kate]_2557-kate ’s workshop]_{1878-kate ’s workshop} , followed by a fully dressed [Kate]_2557-kate with a highly satisfied smile on [her]_2557-kate face . ‘ Seriously ? ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt splutter , as [I]_2342-matt try to direct [my]_2342-matt eyes anywhere , except on [Sam]_1914-sam ’s fine physic . [He]_1914-sam blinds [me]_2342-matt with [his]_1914-sam ultimate cheeky grin and turns to face [Kate]_2557-kate , giving [me]_2342-matt a rear view of [his]_1914-sam bare back and baggy jeaned arse . It ’s then that [I]_2342-matt notice a lump of cake mixture at the nape of [his]_1914-sam neck . ‘ [You]_2557-kate missed a bit . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt point to the offending smear of mixture . [Kate]_2557-kate swivels [Sam]_1914-sam back around to face [me]_2342-matt and licks up the centre of [his]_1914-sam back towards [his]_1914-sam neck . [He]_1914-sam smirks at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt laugh . What a pair of exhibitionists . Making [my]_2342-matt way up to [the flat]_{420-the flat} , [I]_2342-matt hiss at the stabbing pains travelling down [my]_2342-matt legs with every step [I]_2342-matt take . [I]_2342-matt go straight to [the bathroom]_{2349-the kitchen} to run the bath , pouring in half the bottle of muscle relaxing bath soak . Then [I]_2342-matt take [myself]_2342-matt to [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} to take care of special requirement number two ; [I]_2342-matt pour [myself]_2342-matt and [Kate]_2557-kate a glass of wine . [I]_2342-matt gasp [my]_2342-matt appreciation as [I]_2342-matt take [my]_2342-matt first sip . Five minutes later , [I]_2342-matt ’m flinging every garment in [my]_2557-kate underwear drawer over [my]_2557-kate shoulder in a panic . ‘_[2557-kate] [KATE]_2557-kate ! ’ [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt put them in [here]_314-here , so where the hell are [they]_1881-they ? If this is [Sam]_1914-sam ’s idea of a joke , [I]_2342-matt ’ll wring [his]_1914-sam fucking neck ! [Kate]_2557-kate breezes into [[my]_2342-matt room]_{2682-my room} . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve turned [your]_2342-matt bath off . What ’s up ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt pills , ’ ‘_[2342-matt] What about [them]_1881-they ? ’ ‘_[1881-they] [They]_1881-they ’re gone , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt turn an accusing eye on [her]_2557-kate . ‘ [I]_2557-kate ca n’t believe [you]_2342-matt let [Sam]_1914-sam in here . ’_[2557-kate] [Her]_2557-kate eyes widen . ‘ [I]_2557-kate did n’t let [him]_1914-sam in . And anyway , [your]_2342-matt pills were n’t in there . [I]_2557-kate would have seen [them]_1881-they . ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt let out a frustrated yell and proceed to turn the rest of [my]_2342-matt drawers inside out and upside down . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt put them in here . ‘ Shit ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Chill out , [you]_2342-matt can get some more . Are [Tom]_60-tom and [Victoria]_54-victoria coming ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scoop up the contents of [my]_2342-matt underwear drawer and stuff it back in . ‘ [I]_2342-matt already did that . And no , [they]_1882-they both have dates . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Your]_2342-matt organisation skills are shocking . ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate moans tiredly . [She]_2557-kate ’s right , [they]_1882-they are , but [I]_2342-matt manage fine at work . It ’s the personal side of [my]_2342-matt life that suffers . ‘ Oh , is it [Victoria]_54-victoria and [Drew]_327-jesse ’s date tonight ? ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate looks at [me]_2342-matt with wide , blue eyes . ‘ Yes ! ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt meet [her]_2557-kate wide eyes with [my]_2342-matt own . ‘ It ’ll never work . Hurry up in that bath , [I]_2342-matt need a shower . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt grab [my]_2342-matt wine and head for [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} . The water is glorious , and [I]_2342-matt wash [my]_2342-matt hair with shampoo and conditioner . [I]_2342-matt shave everywhere , and then reluctantly pull [myself]_2342-matt out before downing [my]_2342-matt wine and brushing [my]_2342-matt teeth . An hour later , [I]_2342-matt ’ve blow dried and curled [my]_2342-matt hair , creamed up and got half a face of make - up on . [My]_2342-matt door opens and [Kate]_2557-kate ’s head pops around . ‘ How long ? ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate asks . [Her]_2557-kate fire red hair is in rollers and [she]_2557-kate looks at about the same stage of readiness as [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Half hour , ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt confirm , opening [my]_2342-matt underwear drawer . ‘ Cool . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate shuts the door . It opens again . ‘ What ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask , without looking up from finding suitable underwear . Within two seconds flat , [I]_2342-matt ’m grabbed , [my]_2342-matt towel is yanked from [my]_2342-matt body and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] on [my]_2342-matt back atop the bed with a hulking male looming over [me]_2342-matt . WHOA ! [I]_2342-matt ’m completely disorientated and still clinging onto a pair of knickers that [I]_2342-matt was deliberating over . [I]_2342-matt do n’t even have a chance to focus in on [his]_2342-matt face . [His]_2342-matt lips smash against [mine]_2342-matt , starting to work [my]_2342-matt mouth greedily . What the hell ? There ’s no chance to fight [him]_2342-matt off or ask what [he]_2342-matt ’s doing here . [He]_2342-matt flips [me]_2342-matt onto [my]_2342-matt hands and knees , [his]_2342-matt fingers slide over [my]_2342-matt entrance – no doubt to check [my]_2342-matt readiness – before [he]_2342-matt undoes [his]_2342-matt flies and slams into [me]_2342-matt on a garbled yell . [I]_2342-matt cry out , getting a hand clamped over [my]_2342-matt mouth for [my]_2342-matt trouble . ‘_[2342-matt] Quiet . ’ [he]_1884-he grates , through merciless pounds . Fucking hell ! [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] completely helpless as [he]_1884-he thrusts in and out with complete determination and purpose . The depth [he]_1884-he ’s hitting soon has [my]_2342-matt vision blurry , [my]_2342-matt head spinning with desperation and pleasure . [His]_1884-he hand leaves [my]_2342-matt mouth , returning to [my]_2342-matt hips , pulling [me]_2342-matt back against each of [his]_1884-he hard advances . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt yell desperately . [He]_1884-he ’s merciless . ‘ [I]_1884-he said , quiet ! ’_[1884-he] [he]_1884-he barks . As [my]_2342-matt pleasure builds and builds , [I]_2342-matt find [myself]_2342-matt pushing back against [him]_1884-he . [He]_1884-he groans on each thrust , powering forward at a mind blasting rate , colliding with [my]_2342-matt womb and sending [me]_2342-matt into a haze of shocked euphoria . [I]_2342-matt try to grab a pillow , but [my]_2342-matt disorientation has [me]_2342-matt grappling at nothing but sheets . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t find the strength to lift [my]_2342-matt head and use [my]_2342-matt eyes . [I]_2342-matt ’m completely helpless . [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_1884-he grip on [me]_2342-matt tighten , the tense and swell of [him]_1884-he pounding into [me]_2342-matt is stretching [me]_2342-matt beyond comprehension . This is a possessive fuck . That ’s what this is . Not that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] bothered . [I]_2342-matt might be helpless and at [his]_1884-he mercy , but [I]_2342-matt ’m still going to have a mind - bending orgasm . [His]_1884-he thrusts speed up and with one last pump and deep slow grind , [I]_2342-matt splitter straight down the middle , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] charged with a mind - blowing orgasm that has [me]_2342-matt burying [my]_2342-matt face in the mattress to stifle [my]_2342-matt scream of release . [His]_1884-he horse cry echoes around [the room]_{2350-the room} as [he]_1884-he joins [me]_2342-matt in [my]_2342-matt crazy bliss , collapsing on top of [me]_2342-matt , panting loud in [my]_2342-matt ear . [He]_1884-he ’s jerking and shuddering inside and all around [me]_2342-matt . That really was shock and awe . [I]_2342-matt ’m completely depleted and grabbing at valuable air to give [my]_2342-matt lungs some relief . [They]_3358-they ’ve really been through [the mill]_{1028-the mill} today . ‘_[2342-matt] Please , tell [me]_2342-matt that it ’s [you]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt pant , closing [my]_2342-matt eyes , soaking up the warmth of [his]_1884-he body through [his]_1884-he suit . [He]_1884-he has n’t even taken [his]_1884-he jacket off . ‘_[2342-matt] It ’s [me]_2342-matt . ’ [he]_1884-he breathes , moving [my]_2342-matt hair from [my]_2342-matt back and skimming [my]_2342-matt bare skin with [his]_1884-he tongue . [I]_2342-matt sigh happily , letting [him]_1884-he nibble and lick [me]_2342-matt all over . ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t be having another shower . ’ [he]_1884-he orders between tongue strokes . ‘_[2342-matt] Why ? ’ [I]_2342-matt frown into the sheets . [I]_2342-matt wo n’t be , anyway – [I]_2342-matt have n’t got time . [He]_1884-he withdraws , flipping [me]_2342-matt over and pinning [my]_2342-matt wrists on either side of [my]_2342-matt head . [He]_1884-he gazes down at [me]_2342-matt , [his]_1884-he styled hair of this morning now in disarray , but [he]_1884-he looks no worse for it . ‘_[2342-matt] Because , [I]_2342-matt want [me]_2342-matt all over [you]_1886-you when [you]_1886-you ’re out . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt drops [his]_2342-matt lips to [mine]_2342-matt . Ah , [he]_2342-matt ’s trampled [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt was bang on the money . [I]_2342-matt should have known . [Crazy man]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt takes a whole other tactic with [my]_2342-matt mouth , swirling [his]_2342-matt tongue , humming into [me]_2342-matt and nibbling [my]_2342-matt lips . It ’s a world away from the ferocious attack [I]_2342-matt ’ve just sustained . ‘ [Do men]_{3360-do men} have an instinct for [recently fucked women]_{3361-recently fucked women} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask around [his]_2342-matt lips . ‘ Mouth , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt pulls [his]_2342-matt face back , giving [me]_2342-matt a really disapproving look . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’ve had a drink . ’_[2342-matt] Oh , shit ! ‘ No . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blurt guiltily . [He]_2342-matt looks at [my]_2342-matt wrists when [he]_2342-matt feels the tense of [my]_2342-matt natural reflex , then back at [me]_2342-matt with an arched brow . ‘ No more . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt demands softly , giving [me]_2342-matt another lavish kiss . ‘ [I]_2342-matt was hoping to find [you]_2342-matt in cream lace . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt hums through [our]_1887-our joined mouths . [I]_2342-matt ’m really glad [I]_1888-i was n’t . It would be in pieces on the floor by now , and [I]_1888-i really like it . [I]_1888-i might be buying [me]_1888-i some more of those , perhaps in different colours . [He]_2342-matt releases one of [my]_1888-i wrists , trailing [his]_2342-matt finger down [my]_1888-i side , over [my]_1888-i sensitive hips and to the juncture of [my]_1888-i thighs . ‘_[1888-i] [You]_1888-i would have ruined it . ’ [I]_1888-i gasp when [he]_2342-matt plunges two fingers into [me]_1888-i . [I]_1888-i ’ve not even recovered from [my]_1888-i last mind numbing climax , and [I]_1888-i ’m_[1888-i] set to go on another . [This man]_2342-matt is seriously talented . ‘ Probably , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt confirms as [he]_2342-matt circles [me]_2342-matt deeply , pushing [his]_2342-matt fingers as far as [he]_2342-matt can get them . ‘ Hmmm . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt sigh in total satisfaction , tensing [my]_2342-matt legs underneath [him]_2342-matt . ‘ Do n’t be wearing anything ridiculous either . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt throw [my]_2342-matt hand out to grab [his]_2342-matt shoulder and pull [him]_2342-matt down to [my]_2342-matt mouth , but [he]_2342-matt wo n’t budge . [He]_2342-matt ’s looking at [me]_2342-matt expectantly and [I]_2342-matt realise … [he]_2342-matt ’s waiting for a confirmation that [I]_2342-matt understand [his]_2342-matt commands . ‘ [I]_2342-matt wo n’t ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt cry desperately when [he]_2342-matt hits [me]_2342-matt with a delicious sweep of [his]_2342-matt thumb over [my]_2342-matt clitoris . ‘ Are [you]_2342-matt going to come , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt yell at [his]_2342-matt face . Any moment now , [I]_2342-matt ’m going to have an en - core to [my]_2342-matt previous release , and it ’s going to be equally as satisfying and earth shattering . ‘_[2342-matt] Please ! ’ [He]_2342-matt moves in closer , [his]_2342-matt lips as close to [mine]_2342-matt as [they]_3362-they can be without touching . ‘_[832-ava] Hmmm , that feel good , [baby]_832-ava ? ’ [He]_2342-matt pushes in deep and high , brushing [my]_832-ava front wall . ‘_[832-ava] Oh God ! ’ [I]_327-jesse cry . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , please . ’ [I]_327-jesse lift [my]_327-jesse head to try and capture [his]_2342-matt lips , but [he]_2342-matt pulls back . ‘_[327-jesse] [You]_832-ava want [me]_2342-matt ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] starting to burn , [my]_2342-matt legs tensing as [he]_2342-matt strokes between [my]_2342-matt swelling lips . ‘ Yes . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Do [you]_832-ava want to please [me]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes . [Jesse]_327-jesse , please ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt cry . [I]_2342-matt ’m completely stunned when [he]_2342-matt withdraws [his]_2342-matt fingers and rises from the bed . What ? No ! [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] on the cusp of falling over the edge , and just like that , [my]_2342-matt pending orgasm has disappeared , leaving [me]_2342-matt feeling like an unexploded bomb . ‘ What are [you]_832-ava doing ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask in [my]_2342-matt stunned state . ‘ [You]_832-ava want [me]_2342-matt to finish the job ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt cocks [his]_2342-matt head , tucking [himself]_2342-matt into [his]_2342-matt trousers . ‘ Yes ! ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt eyes lock with [mine]_2342-matt . ‘ Do n’t go out . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No ! ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt shrugs . ‘ [My]_2342-matt work here is done . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt kisses the air , staring at [me]_2342-matt through [his]_2342-matt hooded , green pools , before [he]_2342-matt turns and walks out . [I]_2342-matt ’m flat on [my]_2342-matt back , naked , feeling like [I]_2342-matt ’ve been marked , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] desperate for release . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]_2342-matt ’s just done that . [I]_2342-matt know what that was . That was a failed sense fuck followed up by a failed finger tease . It ’s a complete manipulation tactic . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll sort [myself]_2342-matt out then ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout as the door slams behind [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt wo n’t . It would be nowhere near as satisfying if [I]_2342-matt do it [myself]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt huff , taking [my]_2342-matt naked body over to [my]_2342-matt underwear drawer to find [my]_2342-matt most racy set . Pink lace should do it . [I]_2342-matt slip it on and retrieve the posh boutique bag , smiling as [I]_2342-matt unfold the tissue paper that ’s protecting the five hundred pound , ultimate taboo dress . [She]_1890-she who laughs last , [Mr Ward]_327-jesse ! [I]_2342-matt battle with the zip again , sort out [my]_2342-matt half - finished make - up and present [myself]_2342-matt to the mirror . [I]_2342-matt ’m very pleased with [myself]_2342-matt . The cream , silk taboo dress looks damn good , [my]_2342-matt skin sun kissed , [my]_2342-matt eyes dark and smoky and [my]_2342-matt hair a mass of chocolate waves . [I]_2342-matt slip [my]_2342-matt feet into [my]_2342-matt cream Carvella stilettos and spritz [myself]_2342-matt with [Calvin Klein]_{242-calvin klein} ’s Eternity . ‘_[2342-matt] Fucking hell ! ’ [Kate]_2557-kate screeches . [I]_327-jesse turn to face [her]_2557-kate , finding [her]_2557-kate looking up and down [my]_327-jesse tight , silk clad body . ‘_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse ’ll go mad ! ’ [I]_327-jesse scoff . ‘_[327-jesse] [The Lord of [the Manor]_{2356-the manor}]_{3169-the lord of the manor} can fuck right off ! ’ [Kate]_2557-kate laughs . ‘_[327-jesse] Oh , [you]_{3169-the lord of the manor} are feeling brave . [I]_2342-matt love it ! ’ [She]_2557-kate walks in , looking [her]_2557-kate usual stunning self , in a vivid green dress and navy heels . ‘_[327-jesse] What did [he]_327-jesse do to deserve this ? ’ ‘_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse left [me]_2342-matt pre - orgasm after failing to fuck some sense into [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_327-jesse toss it out there casually . [I]_327-jesse ca n’t believe [I]_327-jesse just admitted that . [Kate]_2557-kate falls onto the bed in a helpless heap of laughter . [I]_327-jesse ca n’t help but laugh with [her]_2557-kate . [I]_327-jesse suppose it is quite funny . ‘_[327-jesse] [God]_68-god love [him]_327-jesse , ’ [she]_2557-kate splutters through [her]_2557-kate hysteria . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m glad [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not the only one enjoying the best sex [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever had . ’ [She]_2557-kate wipes the laughter tears from under [her]_2557-kate eyes . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not at all surprised to hear that – not at all . [Sam]_1914-sam is n’t walking around [[her]_1893-her apartment]_{1894-her apartment} , semi - naked and with that dirty grin on [his]_1914-sam face , because [she]_1893-her ’s making [him]_1914-sam lots of cakes . ‘ [He]_1914-sam has [me]_1893-her in knots . ’_[1893-her] [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head , returning to the mirror to apply [my]_2342-matt nude lipstick . ‘ Have [we]_3363-we figured out how old [he]_1914-sam is yet ? ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate picks up [my]_2342-matt bronzer brush to give [her]_2557-kate pale cheeks an extra dusting . ‘ No idea . It ’s a no go subject , just like the scar on [his]_1914-sam stomach . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate pinches [her]_2557-kate cheeks . ‘ Does it matter ? And what scar ? ’_[2557-kate] ‘ No , it does n’t . And the scar is quite a nasty affair from [here]_314-here to [here]_314-here . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt run [my]_2342-matt finger from the middle of [my]_2342-matt lower stomach to [my]_2342-matt hip bone . [She]_2557-kate looks at [me]_2342-matt in the reflection of the mirror . ‘ [You]_2557-kate ’re_[2557-kate] in love with [him]_1895-him . ’ ‘_[2557-kate] Crazily , ’ [I]_2557-kate admit . Chapter 32 [We]_1897-we bowl past the bouncers of [Baroque]_130-baroque in fits of giggles . [We]_1897-we ’re_[2557-kate] not in the least bit drunk , but the laughter is just rolling tonight . ‘ What are [you]_2557-kate having ? ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate asks as [a waiter]_{2556-a waiter} approaches [us]_1897-we at [the bar]_{361-the bar} . ‘ Wine , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt answer , smiling to [myself]_2342-matt . That was easy . [Kate]_2557-kate gets served and [we]_1897-we make [our]_1897-we way through the Friday night crowd to find the last available table at the back of [the bar]_{361-the bar} . [I]_2342-matt gingerly lift [myself]_2342-matt onto the bar stool , keeping a good grip of the hem on [my]_2342-matt dress . It really is taboo . ‘ So , tell [me]_2342-matt . [Sam]_1914-sam ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask off - the - cuff . [I]_2342-matt know there ’s more to this than sex . [I]_2342-matt think [both of [them]_{1899-both of them}]_{1899-both of them} have met [their]_{1899-both of them} match . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know [Sam]_1914-sam , but [I]_2342-matt know [Kate]_2557-kate very well , and for [her]_2557-kate to be dedicating so much time to [a man]_{340-a man} , [he]_{340-a man} must be pretty special . All [I]_2342-matt know about [Sam]_1914-sam is that [he]_1914-sam has a cheeky grin and [he]_1914-sam likes to run around half naked . [She]_2557-kate has n’t spent so much time with [a man]_{340-a man} since [[my]_2342-matt brother]_{2486-my brother} . [I]_2342-matt smile at [his]_1914-sam impending arrival . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t wait to see [him]_1914-sam , but [I]_2342-matt wo n’t be talking about [Dan]_93-dan tonight – not with [Kate]_2557-kate . [She]_2557-kate shrugs . ‘ Fun , ’_[2557-kate] ‘ Come on ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt exclaim . ‘ [I]_2557-kate ’ve divulged far too much information on [Jesse]_327-jesse . Give [me]_2557-kate something ! ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate sips [her]_2557-kate wine , placing it back down on the table casually . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [he]_1914-sam ’s not [the sort of man [you]_3366-you settle down with]_{3365-the sort of man you settle down with} . [I]_2557-kate ’ll take the fun while it lasts , but [I]_2557-kate wo n’t be getting attached . ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt inwardly hiss as [Kate]_2557-kate reminds [me]_2342-matt of [Sarah]_54-victoria ’s words about building dreams . ‘ How do [you]_54-victoria know ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask , trying to reign in [my]_2342-matt drifting thoughts . ‘ [I]_2557-kate just do . ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate says on a half laugh . [I]_2342-matt ’m a bit disappointed , if [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] honest . [She]_2557-kate ’s lively , amazingly laid back and completely uninhibited – all of the things that [Sam]_1914-sam seems to be . Well , from what [I]_2342-matt ’ve seen – which is quite a lot . What ’s the issue ? ‘ [I]_2342-matt like [him]_1914-sam . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt admit . [He]_1914-sam might be [an exhibitionist]_{1439-an exhibitionist} and a complete pest , but [he]_1914-sam ’s very endearing with it . ‘ Well , [I]_2342-matt like [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt laugh . Yes [she]_2557-kate would like [him]_1914-sam . [He]_1914-sam brought [her]_2557-kate [a van]_{3091-a van} . But then [I]_2342-matt recoil . ‘ [You]_2557-kate do n’t like [him]_1914-sam like that do [you]_2557-kate ? ’_[2342-matt] Oh God , [I]_2342-matt ’d never thought that [Kate]_2557-kate might be attracted to [him]_1914-sam . Well , [everyone]_282-everyone ’s attracted to [him]_1914-sam . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been to the receiving end of numerous sneers from [admiring women]_{1905-admiring women} , but [I]_2342-matt never thought , not for a moment , that [Kate]_2557-kate might look at [him]_1914-sam like that . ‘ No ! ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate looks at [me]_2342-matt all offended . ‘ [I]_2557-kate like how much [he]_1914-sam clearly loves [you]_2557-kate . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ What ? [He]_1914-sam does n’t love [me]_2342-matt , [Kate]_2557-kate . [He]_1914-sam loves to fuck [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt take a long glug of wine to dull the affect that [Kate]_2557-kate ’s statement ’s had on [me]_2342-matt . Or is it the affect of [my]_2342-matt alternative statement ? [Clearly]_243-clearly loves [me]_2342-matt , or clearly loves to control [me]_2342-matt ? ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , again , [you]_{1344-the master of denial} ’re_{[1344-the master of denial]} [the master of denial]_{1344-the master of denial} . ’ ‘_{[1344-the master of denial]} How old do [you]_{1344-the master of denial} think [he]_{1344-the master of denial} is ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . [Kate]_2557-kate shrugs . ‘_[2342-matt] Mid - thirties , [I]_2342-matt ’m going for a quick fag . ’_{[1344-the master of denial]} [She]_{1344-the master of denial} slips down from the stool , retrieving [her]_{1344-the master of denial} cigarettes from [her]_{1344-the master of denial} bag . ‘ Wait here , [we]_3367-we do n’t want to lose the table . ’_{[1344-the master of denial]} [She]_{1344-the master of denial} makes [her]_{1344-the master of denial} way to [the smoking area]_{1907-the smoking area} , leaving [me]_2342-matt pondering [my]_2342-matt diabolical situation . [I]_2342-matt ’m in love with [the trampling , unreasonable control freak]_{3368-the trampling , unreasonable control freak} . [I]_2342-matt knew [I]_2342-matt should have stayed away from [him]_1908-he . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t help but think that [I]_2342-matt could have easily rebuffed , denied and walked away from any other man . [Jesse]_327-jesse is another story entirely , though . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] addicted to [him]_1908-he , and [I]_2342-matt ’m not sure it ’s healthy . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] dragged from [my]_2342-matt brief thoughts by a very familiar voice . It ’s also a most unwelcome voice . [I]_2342-matt swivel on [my]_2342-matt tight , silk clad butt . ‘ Hi , [Matt]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt sound way more pleased to see [him]_1908-he than [I]_2342-matt actually am . ‘ Shit , [Ava]_832-ava . [You]_2342-matt look great . ’_[1908-he] [He]_1908-he runs [his]_1908-he smutty eyes up and down [my]_2342-matt body , making [me]_2342-matt feel highly uncomfortable and conspicuous . How does [he]_1908-he make [my]_2342-matt skin crawl now ? [I]_2342-matt loved [him]_1908-he for four years . Or did [I]_2342-matt ? What [I]_2342-matt felt for [Matt]_2342-matt seems to have paled into insignificance compared to how [I]_2342-matt ’m feeling about a certain Mr Control Freak of an age that [I]_2342-matt still do n’t know . ‘_[2342-matt] Thanks , how are [you]_1909-i ? ’ [I]_1909-i ask politely , taking in [his]_1908-he shirt and black jeans . [I]_1909-i hate those jeans , and the shirt looks cheap and nasty . ‘_[1909-i] Really good , thanks . What have [you]_1909-i been up to ? ’ Fucking . Lots of amazing fucking ! ‘_[1909-i] Not a lot . Working heaps , looking for a new place . ’ [I]_1909-i ’m_[1909-i] lying , of course . [I]_2342-matt ’ve not even visited [a letting agent]_{1910-a letting agent} . [Matt]_2342-matt does n’t pick up on [my]_2342-matt hair being coiled around [my]_2342-matt finger . [He]_1908-he never did pick up on [my]_2342-matt hair twiddling habit - a sign , maybe ? ‘ Is the job going well ? ’_[1908-he] [He]_1908-he rests [his]_1908-he elbows on the edge of the table , getting way too close to [my]_2342-matt personal space . [My]_2342-matt back straightens , pulling [me]_2342-matt away , and [I]_2342-matt pray for [Kate]_2557-kate ’s quick return . [He]_1908-he ’ll soon scarper if [Kate]_2557-kate makes an appearance . ‘ Yes , really good , thanks ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt reply , while deliberating on asking [him]_1908-he the same question . After [he]_1908-he called and told [me]_2342-matt about the redundancies being made at [[his]_1908-he work place]_{1911-his work place} , [I]_2342-matt suppose [I]_2342-matt should , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to get too tied up in conversation . [He]_1908-he smiles brightly – it ’s false . ‘ Great . Listen , [I]_1908-he just wanted to apologise again . [I]_1908-he was out of line . [I]_1908-he would n’t blame [you]_3369-you if [you]_3369-you told [me]_1908-he to fuck off . ’_[1908-he] Fuck off ! ‘ It ’s fine , [Matt]_2342-matt . Do n’t worry about it . ’_[1908-he] ‘ Cool . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt inwardly vomit when [James]_218-james walks over to join [us]_1912-us , looking at [me]_2342-matt with the contempt [I]_2342-matt feel for [him]_218-james . [He]_218-james can go and take a leap ! [I]_2342-matt smile sweetly , repositioning [myself]_2342-matt on the stool with caution . This dress is ridiculous , and while [I]_2342-matt felt perfectly comfortable up until [Matt]_2342-matt found [me]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt now feel over exposed and vulnerable under the scrutinising glares of [[my]_2342-matt ex]_{450-my ex} and [[his]_2342-matt friend]_1914-sam . ‘ [James]_218-james . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt nod in acknowledgment to [his]_2342-matt presence . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt retorts . [His]_2342-matt cold tone does n’t escape [my]_2342-matt notice . [He]_2342-matt must have told [Matt]_2342-matt about [his]_2342-matt encounter with [me]_2342-matt and [a tall , blonde , aggressive type]_{1915-a tall , blonde , aggressive type} , so why is [Matt]_2342-matt being so pleasant ? ‘ Can [I]_2342-matt buy [you]_2342-matt a drink for old times ’_[2342-matt] sake ? ’ [Matt]_2342-matt offers . ‘_[2342-matt] No , honestly , [I]_2342-matt ’m good . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt hold up [my]_2342-matt half full glass of wine . For old times ’ sake ? What ? Like a celebration of how much of a knob [he]_2342-matt was ? Please ! [I]_1916-i do n’t see [her]_832-ava , but [I]_1916-i know [she]_832-ava ’s near . The sudden ice that emanates from [Matt]_2342-matt ’s body is potent . [James]_218-james is no better . [He]_218-james and [Kate]_2557-kate did n’t exactly see eye to eye either . ‘_[1916-i] What the fuck are [you]_1916-i doing here ? ’ [she]_832-ava shouts as [she]_832-ava approaches . [My]_2557-kate shoulders tense . ‘_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate , [we]_1917-we ’re fine . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt placate [[my]_2342-matt fiery , red headed friend]_{1918-my fiery , red headed friend} . ‘ [I]_2342-matt was just leaving . ’_[2342-matt] [Matt]_2342-matt hisses . ‘ Fuck off then ! ’_{[1918-my fiery , red headed friend]} [He]_{1918-my fiery , red headed friend} returns [his]_{1918-my fiery , red headed friend} eyes to [me]_2342-matt . ‘ It was nice to see [you]_{1918-my fiery , red headed friend} , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_{[1918-my fiery , red headed friend]} ‘ [You]_{1918-my fiery , red headed friend} too , [Matt]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile . What would be the point in being hostile ? [The bloke]_{1919-the bloke} ’s sorry – [I]_2342-matt think . Oh , whatever . [He]_{1919-the bloke} ’s out of [my]_2342-matt life , and [I]_2342-matt ca n’t be doing with the drama . [I]_2342-matt laugh to [myself]_2342-matt . [My]_2342-matt life is one big dramatization at the moment . [Matt]_2342-matt and [James]_218-james leave [me]_2342-matt in peace , until [Kate]_2557-kate lets loose . ‘ What are [you]_2557-kate doing talking to that snake ? ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate blurts across the table , as [she]_2557-kate lifts [herself]_2557-kate onto [her]_2557-kate stool . ‘ [He]_1920-lord was just saying hello . [He]_1920-lord was being polite . ’_[2557-kate] [My]_2342-matt bored tone will probably irritate [her]_2557-kate more . [She]_2557-kate ’s a firecracker ! ‘ [I]_2557-kate could n’t give a shit ! ’_[2557-kate] [My]_2342-matt face wrinkles . ‘ [You]_1920-lord sound like [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’_[1920-lord] [Lord]_1920-lord , [I]_2342-matt do n’t need [a challenging best friend]_{1921-a challenging best friend} to match [[my]_2342-matt challenging man]_{1922-my challenging man} . [She]_2557-kate huffs a little before swigging [her]_2557-kate wine . [I]_2342-matt join [her]_2557-kate , finishing off [my]_2342-matt own glass . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll get another , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt take some money from [my]_2342-matt clutch . ‘ Watch [my]_2342-matt bag . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt make [my]_2342-matt way to [bar]_{361-the bar} to order another round of drinks and wait patiently for [the barman]_{1167-the barman} to get [my]_2342-matt order . ‘ All right , love . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes and turn , finding a stocky , slimy , over confident type , giving [me]_2342-matt the look . ‘ Hello . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say courteously , turning back to [the bar]_{361-the bar} as [the barman]_{1167-the barman} places [our]_1925-our wine in front of [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Thanks . ’_{[1167-the barman]} [I]_2342-matt hand [him]_{1167-the barman} a twenty and take a swig , all the time feeling slimy man next to [me]_2342-matt dribbling into [his]_{1167-the barman} pint . [My]_2342-matt skin starts to crawl . [I]_2342-matt mentally plead for [the bar man]_{1167-the barman} to hurry with [my]_2342-matt change , and even consider the merits of abandoning [my]_2342-matt money in favour of retreat . ‘ Fancy a dance ? ’_{[1167-the barman]} ‘ No , thank [you]_{1167-the barman} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile , grab [my]_2342-matt change from [the barman]_{1167-the barman} and make a hasty get away . [He]_{1167-the barman} gives [me]_2342-matt a disgruntled look , but [he]_{1167-the barman} does n’t push [his]_{1167-the barman} luck . This is [my]_2342-matt third glass of wine . [I]_2342-matt really am being [a rebel]_{1926-a rebel} . Oh well . After [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s performance at [home]_281-home , [I]_2342-matt ’m on a private defiance mission to have the last say . A few hours later , [the bar crowd]_{3370-the bar crowd} is thinning out and [we]_1928-we ’re_[2342-matt] probably on [our]_1928-we third bottle of wine . [We]_1928-we ’re giggling like [a pair of teenagers]_{3371-a pair of teenagers} , and [I]_1928-we ’m_[1928-we] getting pretty brave with [my]_2342-matt questioning . ‘ Were [you]_3372-you really tied to the bed ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask cheekily . The grin that spreads across [her]_1929-her face tells [me]_2342-matt [I]_2342-matt was n’t having [my]_2342-matt leg pulled . [I]_2342-matt ’m not even that shocked . It must be the affect of the alcohol , or it could be all the steamy sex [I]_2342-matt ’ve been getting [myself]_2342-matt lately . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt knew it , ’ [I]_2342-matt laugh . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_1930-she need to tell [him]_1930-she to put some clothes on when [he]_1930-she ’s wandering around [the flat]_{420-the flat} . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know where to look . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_1930-she mad ? ’ [Her]_1929-her eyes bug at [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] What a waste of a fine physic ! ’ [Kate]_2557-kate looks off into the distance , obviously recalling a mental image . Yes , it is pretty fine , but it does n’t mean [I]_1930-she want to look at it . [I]_1930-she ’ve got [my]_1930-she own super fine physic to look at . Speaking of which , [I]_1930-she ’m_[1930-she] drunk and [I]_2342-matt want to see [him]_1930-she . [I]_2342-matt might call [him]_1930-she . But then [I]_2342-matt remember … [I’m]_2342-matt not supposed to be drinking . [Pah]_108-pah ! [I]_2342-matt take another swig of wine . ‘ What does [he]_1930-she do , anyway ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [He]_1930-she drives a Porsche and never seems to be at work . [She]_1930-she shrugs . ‘ [Rich orphan]_{3373-rich orphan} . ’_[1930-she] ‘ [Orphan]_244-orphan ? ’_[108-pah] ‘ Apparently , ’_[1930-she] [she]_1930-she begins thoughtfully , ‘ [[his]_{3373-rich orphan} parents]_{3374-his parents} died in a car accident when [he]_{3373-rich orphan} was nineteen . [He]_{3373-rich orphan} has [no siblings]_{3375-no family} , [no family]_{3375-no family} , nothing . [He]_{3373-rich orphan} lives off [his]_{3373-rich orphan} inheritance and plays very hard . ’_[1930-she] [She]_1930-she smirks again . God , [Sam]_1914-sam ’s [an orphan]_{1932-an orphan} ? [I]_2342-matt ca n’t imagine losing [[my]_2342-matt parents]_{2490-my parents} at that age . Or any age , in fact . That must have been awful . And with [no family]_{3375-no family} to take [him]_{1932-an orphan} in ? [I]_2342-matt suddenly see the cheeky chap in a very different light . [You]_1935-you would never know something so dreadful had happened to [him]_{1932-an orphan} ; [he]_{1932-an orphan} ’s always smiling and joking . ‘ How old is [he]_{1932-an orphan} ? ’_{[1932-an orphan]} [I]_2342-matt ask . ‘ Thirty , ’_[1930-she] [she]_1930-she answers , almost reluctantly , like [she]_1930-she feels guilty for knowing the age of [the man [she]_1930-she ’s screwing]_{1936-the man she ’s screwing} . [I]_2342-matt let it pass . It ’s not [Kate]_2557-kate ’s fault that [I]_2342-matt ’m clueless . ‘_[2342-matt] What do [you]_1935-you make of [Drew]_327-jesse ? ’ [Her]_1930-she eyebrows jump up . ‘_{[1932-an orphan]} [He]_{1932-an orphan} ’s a bit straight and aloof , is n’t [he]_{1932-an orphan} ? ’ ‘_{[1932-an orphan]} Yes ! ’ [I]_2342-matt exclaim . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] glad [I]_2342-matt ’m not the only one who finds [him]_{1932-an orphan} this way . ‘_{[54-victoria]} Not [Victoria]_54-victoria ’s type at all . ’ ‘_{[54-victoria]} Give it two dates , maximum , ’ [Kate]_2557-kate points [her]_2557-kate glass at [me]_1930-she , sloshing a bit on the table . ‘_[1930-she] [She]_1930-she ’ll bore [him]_{1932-an orphan} to death with a run by run account of [her]_1930-she latest visit to [the tanning salon]_{1937-the tanning salon} . ’ ‘_[1930-she] [She]_1930-she ’s getting more orange by the week . ’ [I]_1930-she laugh . ‘_[1930-she] That ’s not orange , [[my]_2342-matt friend]_{1342-my friend} . ’ Another splash of wine hits the table . ‘_[1930-she] That ’s mahogany . [He]_{1342-my friend} ’ll never be able to find [her]_1930-she in the dark . And yes , [she]_1930-she only does it in the dark . ’ ‘_[1930-she] No ! ’ ‘_[1930-she] Oh , yes . Something about cellulite and bed head . It ’s pretty painful . The last bloke [she]_1930-she was seeing said [she]_1930-she got up an hour before [him]_{1932-an orphan} so [she]_1930-she could have a shower , sort [her]_1930-she hair out and get a full face of make - up on before [he]_{1932-an orphan} woke up . ’ ‘_{[1932-an orphan]} That ’s ridiculous ! ’ [She]_1930-she nods . ‘_{[1932-an orphan]} Hey , has [Jesse]_327-jesse mentioned anything about a party at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} ? ’ ‘_{[1932-an orphan]} Yes ! ’ [I]_{1932-an orphan} blurt , seriously considering telling [her]_1930-she that [I]_{1932-an orphan} ’ve been bribed into going . Oh , please say [Sam]_1914-sam ’s asked [Kate]_2557-kate to go . That will make [my]_{1932-an orphan} night a lot more bearable . ‘_{[1932-an orphan]} Are [you]_1940-you going ? ’ ‘_{[1932-an orphan]} Damn right [I]_2342-matt am ! [I]_2342-matt ca n’t wait to see [the place]_{308-the place} . ’ [Her]_2557-kate eyes dance with excitement . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt think a shopping trip is in order . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , [I]_2342-matt ’ll probably make do with something [I]_2342-matt ’ve got in [my]_2342-matt wardrobe . ’ [I]_2342-matt shrug . [I]_2342-matt ’ve just spent five hundred quid on this stupid , miniscule dress . [I]_2342-matt go to lean back on [my]_2342-matt stool , swiftly remembering there ’s no back support , prompting [me]_2342-matt to [I]_2342-matt grab the edge of the table . [My]_2342-matt wine flies up in the air . ‘_[2342-matt] Shit ! ’ [I]_2342-matt cry , just managing to save [myself]_2342-matt from falling arse first to the floor . [I]_2342-matt join [Kate]_2557-kate in [her]_2557-kate helpless laughter , both [our]_1943-we wine glasses swishing about as [we]_1943-we titter and splutter like [a pair of drunken teenagers , who ’ve over indulged on cider]_{3376-a pair of drunken teenagers , who ’ve over indulged on cider} . [I]_2342-matt need to stop drinking , right now . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] on the cusp on falling over the edge of merriment and into the realms of slurring and staggering . With [[my]_2342-matt unreasonable Lord]_{1942-my unreasonable lord} due at eight in the morning , [I]_2342-matt need to ensure [I]_2342-matt ’m hangover free . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt think [we]_1943-we need to call it a night . ’ [I]_2342-matt hint in [my]_2342-matt most diplomatic tone . [Kate]_2557-kate nods [her]_2557-kate agreement around the rim of [her]_2557-kate wine glass . ‘_[2342-matt] Yep , [I]_2342-matt ’m done . ’_[1944-she] [She]_1944-she slips off the stool and staggers towards [me]_2342-matt . Okay , it looks like [Kate]_2557-kate ’s already slipped into staggering territory . ‘ Oh , [I]_1944-she love this track . Let ’s dance ! ’_[1944-she] [she]_1944-she screeches , pulling [me]_2342-matt towards [the dance floor]_{2859-the dance floor} so [she]_1944-she can perform [her]_1944-she own little Moves like [Jagger]_245-jagger . ‘ [Kate]_2557-kate , there ’s [no one on the dance floor]_{3377-no one on the dance floor} ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt complain . There ’s almost [no one in [the bar]_{361-the bar}]_{1946-no one in the bar} either . ‘ Who cares ? ’_[1944-she] [she]_1944-she argues , stumbling towards the music , taking [me]_2342-matt with [her]_1944-she . ‘ [We]_1948-we ’ll go after thi … Oh ! ’_[1944-she] [She]_1944-she clatters to the ground , dragging [me]_2342-matt down with [her]_1944-she on a yelp . ‘ Sorry ! ’_[1944-she] [she]_1944-she laughs . [We]_1948-we both lay sprawled on [our]_1948-we backs across the floor , giggling and looking up at the dim lights of [the bar]_{361-the bar} . [I]_2342-matt would be embarrassed … if [I]_2342-matt was n’t so tipsy . What must [we]_1948-we look like ? [Neither one of [us]_1948-we]_{3127-neither one of us} makes any rushed attempt to scramble to [our]_1948-we feet . ‘ Do [you]_2342-matt think [the bouncers]_{3378-the bouncers} will come and help [us]_1948-we up ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt splutter over [my]_2342-matt laughter . [Kate]_2557-kate wipes a tear away . ‘ [I]_2557-kate do n’t know . Shall [we]_1948-we yell ? ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate reaches over for [my]_2342-matt arm to support [herself]_2557-kate as [she]_2557-kate heaves [her]_2557-kate body up to a sitting position . ‘ Oh , shit . ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate curses , [her]_2557-kate tone altering considerably from mischievous to serious . ‘ What ? ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt push [myself]_2342-matt up to find out what [we]_1948-we are oh shitting about , only to discover [Jesse]_327-jesse looming over [us]_1948-we , arms folded across [his]_327-jesse chest , with an extremely irked look on [his]_327-jesse handsome face . Oh shit , indeed . [I]_2342-matt clamp [my]_2342-matt lips together for fear of laughing and pissing [him]_327-jesse off further . ‘ Oh no , that ’s [me]_2342-matt grounded for a month . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt titter in a low voice for only [Kate]_2557-kate to hear . [She]_2557-kate spits all over [the place]_{308-the place} as [she]_2557-kate tries to suppress [her]_2557-kate laugh , and [I]_2342-matt lose the battle to restrain [mine]_2342-matt . [We]_1948-we both sit on the floor of the bar like a pair of drunken hyenas , whilst the colour in [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s face gets redder by the second . [Kate]_2557-kate laughs harder when [Sam]_1914-sam rocks up next to [Jesse]_327-jesse , rolling [his]_327-jesse eyes . Why ca n’t [[my]_2342-matt man]_{74-a god} give [me]_2342-matt an eye roll , instead of standing there looking like [he]_{74-a god} ’s going to self - combust ? [I]_2342-matt ’m not even that drunk . [[My]_2557-kate current location]_{3379-my current location} is only courtesy of [[my]_2557-kate delinquent best friend]_{74-a god} leading [me]_2557-kate astray . [A burly , skin head bouncer]_{3380-a burly , skin head bouncer} approaches . [He]_{74-a god} looks evil . [I]_2557-kate nudge [Kate]_2557-kate with [my]_2557-kate elbow to signal [our]_1953-our imminent ejection from [the bar]_{361-the bar} . ‘_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate , if [they]_1952-they do n’t allow [us]_1953-our in for lunch anymore , then [I]_2342-matt ’ll be really pissed . ’ [I]_2557-kate love [Baroque]_130-baroque ’s BLT sandwich . ‘_[2557-kate] [You]_2557-kate ’re already pissed . ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate snorts , making another attempt to get up , using [me]_2342-matt as a prop . ‘ [Jesse]_327-jesse , sort [[your]_2557-kate woman]_{3382-your woman} out . ’_[2557-kate] The bouncer drawls , clasping [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s hand in greeting . ‘ Oh , do n’t worry , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse hits [me]_2342-matt with [his]_327-jesse most menacing glare . ‘ [She]_2557-kate ’ll be sorted out . Thanks for the call , [Jay]_246-jay . ’_[327-jesse] What ? ‘ Come on , [you]_2557-kate pest . ’_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam jibes [Kate]_2557-kate , hoisting [her]_2557-kate up . [She]_2557-kate throws [her]_2557-kate arms around [his]_327-jesse neck , giggling in [his]_327-jesse face . ‘ Take [me]_2557-kate to bed , [Samuel]_1914-sam . [You]_1914-sam can tie [me]_2557-kate up again . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate flops against [him]_327-jesse like a beanbag . [I]_2342-matt watch as [Sam]_1914-sam restrains [his]_327-jesse laughter at [Kate]_2557-kate ’s performance , but [he]_327-jesse ’s not suppressing the chuckles because [he]_327-jesse ’s mad with [Kate]_2557-kate . Oh no , [he]_327-jesse ’s keeping a lid on it because of [Jesse]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse ’s trampling on [my]_2342-matt night again . [I]_2342-matt was n’t expecting to see [him]_327-jesse until eight in the morning , so [he]_327-jesse would never have known that [I]_2342-matt got [myself]_2342-matt a little pissed . And what ’s all this business with [the bouncer]_{1954-the bouncer} calling [him]_327-jesse ? [I]_2342-matt return [my]_2342-matt tipsy gaze to [Mr Unreasonable]_327-jesse , pulling [my]_2342-matt best hacked off face . [His]_327-jesse eyes are bulging . [I]_2342-matt follow [his]_327-jesse glare down at the ultimate taboo dress . Oh dear , [I]_2342-matt ’ve contravened on two orders . [I]_2342-matt probably really will be grounded . [I]_2342-matt start giggling again . ‘ Up , now . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse snarls through a ticking jaw . ‘ Oh , lighten up , [you]_327-jesse bore ! ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt chide , more confidently than [I]_2342-matt ’m feeling . [I]_2342-matt put [my]_2342-matt hand out to [him]_327-jesse for some help , knowing [he]_327-jesse wo n’t leave [me]_2342-matt to struggle . [He]_327-jesse sighs , shaking [his]_327-jesse head in a demonstration to [his]_327-jesse exasperation , before reaching down to pull [me]_2342-matt up . [His]_327-jesse eyes widen further when [he]_327-jesse gets the full frontal impact of the taboo dress . [I]_2342-matt start giggling again . It ’ll probably need a trip to the dry cleaners now , after [I]_2342-matt ’ve rolled around on the dirty bar floor . [I]_2342-matt calm [myself]_2342-matt down . ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_1955-you mad at [me]_2342-matt ? ’ [I]_832-ava look up at [him]_327-jesse in [my]_832-ava tipsy state , batting [my]_832-ava eyelashes as [I]_832-ava grip the front of [his]_327-jesse grey suit . Has [he]_327-jesse not been [home]_281-home at all today ? ‘_[832-ava] Crazy mad , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_327-jesse says threateningly , grabbing [my]_832-ava elbow and leading [me]_832-ava out of [the bar]_{361-the bar} . [I]_832-ava spot the bouncer who stitched [me]_832-ava up and narrow [my]_832-ava eyes on [him]_327-jesse when [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] guided past . [He]_1956-he claps hands with [Jesse]_327-jesse , giving [me]_2342-matt a disapproving head shake . Oh , fuck off ! [We]_1957-we find [Sam]_1914-sam helping [Kate]_2557-kate into the front seat of [[his]_1956-he Porsche]_{3028-his porsche} , holding the top of [her]_2557-kate head as [he]_1956-he lowers [her]_2557-kate in . [She]_2557-kate ’s still giggling . It sets [me]_2342-matt off again . ‘ [Samuel]_1914-sam , tonight is [your]_1914-sam lucky night ! ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate sings as [Sam]_1914-sam shuts [her]_2557-kate in . [I]_2342-matt might [me]_2342-matt tipsy , but [I]_2342-matt know there ’ll be no action in [[Kate]_2557-kate ’s bedroom]_{1959-kate ’s bedroom} tonight . [Jesse]_327-jesse and [Sam]_1914-sam exchange goodbyes , [Jesse]_327-jesse keeping a firm grip of [my]_2342-matt elbow . ‘ See [ya]_1586-chick , [chick]_1586-chick . ’_[327-jesse] [Sam]_1914-sam pecks [my]_2342-matt cheek , flashing [me]_2342-matt a quick private grin . [I]_2342-matt acknowledge it with [my]_2342-matt own , while concentrating hard on not laughing and pissing off [[my]_2342-matt unreasonable man]_{1960-my unreasonable man} any more than necessary . [I]_2342-matt ’m lead to [[Jesse]_327-jesse ’s car]_{3284-jesse ’s car} , placed in the front seat , gently but firmly , and all in complete silence . [He]_{1960-my unreasonable man} looks really mad , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] drunk and defiant , so [I]_2342-matt do n’t care . [He]_{1960-my unreasonable man} reaches across [me]_2342-matt for [my]_2342-matt seatbelt , and [I]_2342-matt insolently bat [him]_{1960-my unreasonable man} away . ‘ [I]_{1960-my unreasonable man} can put a seat belt on . ’_{[1960-my unreasonable man]} [I]_2342-matt grumble moodily . [I]_2342-matt get landed with a don’t - push - [me]_2342-matt - look so , probably quite wisely , [I]_2342-matt place [my]_2342-matt hands in [my]_2342-matt lap , letting [him]_{1960-my unreasonable man} lean across [me]_2342-matt to secure the belt . [I]_2342-matt steal an inhale of [his]_{1960-my unreasonable man} scent . ‘ [You]_{1960-my unreasonable man} smell delicious . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt inform [him]_{1960-my unreasonable man} quietly . [He]_{1960-my unreasonable man} pulls back , [his]_{1960-my unreasonable man} face still straight , [his]_{1960-my unreasonable man} eyes still simmering with displeasure . But [he]_{1960-my unreasonable man} does n’t say a word . [He]_{1960-my unreasonable man} ’s giving [me]_2342-matt the silent treatment . How mature ! [He]_{1960-my unreasonable man} slams [my]_2342-matt door and slides in behind the wheel , pulling into the traffic haphazardly and with no consideration for [other road users]_{1592-other road users} . ‘ [[Kate]_2557-kate ’s house]_{2988-kate ’s house} is that way . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt point out , as [he]_{1960-my unreasonable man} roars off in the wrong direction . ‘ And ? ’_{[1960-my unreasonable man]} Is the terse one word answer [I]_2342-matt get spat at [me]_2342-matt . Oh , for the love of [God]_68-god . ‘ And … it ’s where [I]_2342-matt live . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt state firmly . [He]_{1960-my unreasonable man} ’s not completely trampling [my]_2342-matt night . [Kate]_2557-kate and [I]_2342-matt have some of [our]_1962-our best discussions over a post alcohol cup of tea . ‘ [You]_1963-i ’re_[2557-kate] staying at [mine]_2342-matt . ’ [He]_{1960-my unreasonable man} does n’t even look at [me]_2557-kate . ‘_[2557-kate] No , that was n’t part of the deal . ’ [I]_2557-kate remind [him]_{1960-my unreasonable man} . ‘_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt have until eight in the morning before [you]_1963-i distract [me]_2342-matt again . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve changed the deal . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_1963-i ca n’t change the deal ! ’ [He]_{1960-my unreasonable man} slowly turns [his]_{1960-my unreasonable man} face to [mine]_2342-matt . ‘_[1963-i] [You]_1963-i did . ’ [I]_1963-i recoil , giving [him]_{1960-my unreasonable man} [my]_1963-i most disgusted look , but [I]_1963-i ca n’t think of anything to say . [He]_{1960-my unreasonable man} ’s right , [I]_1963-i did break the rules of the deal , but that ’s only because [his]_{1960-my unreasonable man} conditions are so fucking unreasonable ! [I]_1963-i sit back in the soft , quilted leather and give up . It ’s only eight - ish hours until eight o’clock anyway . [We]_3388-we pull up at [Lusso]_66-lusso and [I]_1963-i groan . The only time [Clive]_101-clive ever sees [me]_1963-i is when [I]_1963-i ’m_[1963-i] drunk or being carried in from exhaustion . [I]_2342-matt open the door and take cautious steps , lifting [myself]_2342-matt to a standing position . [Jesse]_327-jesse is watching [me]_2342-matt closely . No doubt , waiting for [me]_2342-matt to stumble so [he]_327-jesse can scoop [me]_2342-matt up and give [Clive]_101-clive the impression that [I]_2342-matt ’m blotto again . Well , [he]_327-jesse ’ll be disappointed . [I]_2342-matt shut the door softly and start walking towards [the foyer]_{2536-the foyer} . [I]_2342-matt must not stagger , [I]_2342-matt must not stagger . [I]_2342-matt reach [the foyer]_{2536-the foyer} , still in a vertical position , and give [Clive]_101-clive a polite nod as [I]_2342-matt pass , but [he]_327-jesse does n’t say a word . [He]_327-jesse nods back at [me]_2342-matt , and then flicks [his]_327-jesse eyes to [Jesse]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt know when [he]_327-jesse puts [his]_327-jesse head back down , without so much as a greeting , that [he]_327-jesse must have clocked [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s fierce face . [I]_2342-matt huff to [myself]_2342-matt , enter [the elevator]_{780-the elevator} and wait courteously for [Jesse]_327-jesse to step inside . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_1964-you need to get this code changed . ’ [I]_1965-he mutter , punching in the developer code . [He]_327-jesse only has to notify security and [they]_3391-they ’ll see to it immediately . [He]_327-jesse does n’t say a word . Oh , [he]_327-jesse ’s really working the silent treatment well . [I]_1965-he look up , finding [him]_327-jesse staring at [me]_1965-he , studying [me]_1965-he closely , completely expressionless . [I]_1965-he ’m_[1965-he] certain that [he]_1965-he ’s about to pounce and give [me]_2342-matt some sort of [Jesse]_327-jesse style fuck . Would [he]_1965-he be fucking sense into [me]_2342-matt , or would it be a reminder fuck ? Oh , it ’ll probably be an apology fuck ! [My]_2342-matt tipsy brain relishes the thought , but then the elevator doors open and [he]_1965-he steps out before [me]_2342-matt , leaving [me]_2342-matt to follow behind . [I]_2342-matt ’m shocked . [I]_2342-matt would have put [my]_2342-matt life on the certainty of being jumped . Oh well , [we]_3392-we ’re_[2342-matt] not in [[his]_1965-he apartment]_{1576-his apartment} yet . [He]_1965-he opens the door and strolls in , without so much as looking at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m left to shut the door behind [me]_2342-matt and follow [him]_1965-he into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , where [I]_2342-matt find [him]_1965-he grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge . [He]_1965-he takes a few swigs before thrusting it at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt do n’t bother pushing it away . Last Saturday and the memory of [my]_2342-matt aching head when [I]_2342-matt came around is enough of a motive to accept [his]_1965-he offering . [I]_2342-matt drink the water under [his]_1965-he watchful eye , placing the empty bottle on [the worktop]_{2614-the worktop} when [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] finished . ‘ Turn around . ’_[1965-he] [he]_1965-he orders . Oh , here [we]_1967-we go ! A million fireworks light up inside [me]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt follow through on [his]_1965-he command , turning away from [him]_1965-he , [my]_2342-matt libido screaming , [my]_2342-matt skin is prickling . The feeling of [his]_1965-he warm hands skating over [my]_2342-matt shoulders has [me]_2342-matt clenching [my]_2342-matt jaw and drawing steadying breaths . [He]_1965-he grasps the zip of [my]_2342-matt dress and slowly pulls it down , making a point of sliding [his]_1965-he hands down [my]_2342-matt sides as [he]_1965-he drags it down [my]_2342-matt body , kneeling as [he]_1965-he goes . [My]_2342-matt ankle is tapped and [I]_2342-matt step out of the pooling material , turning back to look down at [him]_1965-he knelt before [me]_2342-matt . [He]_1965-he gazes up at [me]_2342-matt , slowly rising to [his]_1965-he feet , dragging [his]_1965-he nose up between [my]_2342-matt breasts until [he]_1965-he reaches [my]_2342-matt throat . [He]_1965-he breathes into [my]_2342-matt neck . Oh , yes , [I]_2342-matt ’m mentally begging for [him]_1965-he , as per usual . Latching on with [his]_1965-he lips , [he]_1965-he nips and licks at [my]_2342-matt delicate flesh . [My]_2342-matt skin is burning for [him]_1965-he to touch [me]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt want to grab [him]_1965-he . But [I]_2342-matt know this will be done on [his]_1965-he terms . ‘_[2342-matt] Do [you]_832-ava want [my]_2342-matt mouth on [you]_832-ava , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [he]_1965-he asks softly . [My]_832-ava breath catches in [my]_832-ava throat as [his]_1965-he voice vibrates against [my]_832-ava ear . [I]_832-ava sigh , long and breathy . ‘_[832-ava] [You]_832-ava need to say the word . ’ [He]_1965-he brushes [his]_1965-he lips over [my]_832-ava ear . [My]_832-ava knees shake . ‘_[832-ava] Yes . ’ [I]_832-ava gasp on an exhale . ‘_[832-ava] Do [you]_832-ava want [me]_2342-matt to fuck [you]_832-ava , [baby]_832-ava ? ’ ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’ [I]_2342-matt jerk as [he]_1965-he strokes between [my]_2342-matt thighs . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt know . [You]_832-ava want [me]_2342-matt . ’ [He]_1965-he bites down on [my]_832-ava ear lobe , the metal of [my]_832-ava silver studs chinking against [his]_1965-he teeth . [I]_832-ava shudder , panting and desperate for [him]_1965-he . But then [he]_1965-he pulls away , leaving [me]_832-ava standing a wanton mass of hormones in front of [him]_1965-he . ‘_[832-ava] Stay there . ’ [he]_1965-he orders firmly , walking away . [He]_1965-he ’s still fully dressed in [his]_1965-he suit as [I]_1969-my watch [him]_1965-he stride away from [me]_1969-my and open a cupboard , taking something out . Chocolate spread ? [My]_1969-my pulse accelerates . Calmly , [he]_1965-he makes [his]_1965-he way back over to [me]_1969-my . [I]_1969-my run [my]_1969-my eyes down [his]_1965-he lean physic , delighting in the stiff bulge at [his]_1965-he groin . [I]_1969-my wait , undemanding and tolerant of [his]_1965-he leisurely pace . When [he]_1965-he finally reaches [me]_1969-my , [he]_1965-he gets up close and personal with [my]_1969-my face , breathing [his]_1965-he hot , minty breath all over [me]_1969-my as [his]_1965-he lips skim [my]_1969-my cheeks , [my]_1969-my eyes , [my]_1969-my chin , finally resting gently on [my]_1969-my lips . [I]_1969-my hum in pure pleasure , opening [my]_1969-my mouth , but [he]_1965-he breaks [our]_3395-our kiss and starts lowering [himself]_1965-he down [my]_1969-my body . A barrage of heat floods [me]_1969-my , [my]_1969-my short , sharp breaths becoming suppressed and ragged . Looking up at [me]_1969-my as [he]_1965-he descends , [his]_1965-he nose grazes [my]_1969-my lace knickers , triggering [my]_1969-my hands to fly out and grab [his]_1965-he shoulders for support . [He]_1965-he gives [me]_1969-my that knowing smile and starts rising again , pressing [his]_1965-he body against [mine]_1969-my on [his]_1965-he way . ‘_[1969-my] [You]_1969-my ’re so affected by [me]_1969-my , ’_[1969-my] [he]_1969-my breathes in [my]_2342-matt ear . [I]_2342-matt shiver , catching [my]_2342-matt breath . ‘ Yes , [I]_2342-matt am . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_1969-my know [you]_1969-my are . It … really … fucking … turns … [me]_1969-my … on . ’_[1969-my] [He]_1969-my steps away from [me]_2342-matt . What ’s [he]_1969-my doing ? [His]_1969-my hands come up , and [I]_2342-matt register [him]_1969-my holding [my]_2342-matt dress in one . And in the other … a pair of scissors . [He]_1969-my would n’t ? [He]_1969-my calmly opens the scissors and sets them at the hem of [my]_2342-matt dress . Then , very slowly , [he]_1969-my snips up the centre as [I]_2342-matt watch on a gape . It seems [he]_1969-my bloody would . A five hundred pound dress ? [I]_2342-matt ca n’t even locate the ability to stop [him]_1969-my or shout at [him]_1969-my . [I]_2342-matt ’m utterly stunned . Not content with having [my]_2342-matt five hundred pound , taboo dress in two pieces , [he]_1969-my proceeds to calmly chop it up into a further few scraps before placing the mutilated material , calmly and precisely with zero emotion , on [the island]_{2653-the island} with the scissors . [He]_1969-my turns back to face [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt find [my]_2342-matt voice . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [you]_2342-matt just did that . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t play games with [me]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_1969-my warns , all calm and controlled . [He]_1969-my slips [his]_1969-my hands in [his]_1969-my trouser pockets and regards [me]_832-ava closely as [I]_832-ava stand in front of [him]_1969-my , unequivocally staggered . All fuzzy tipsiness has completely gone . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] sound minded , steady and absolutely astounded by [his]_2342-matt demonstration of so called power . ‘ [You]_2342-matt , ’_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt point [my]_2342-matt finger in [his]_2342-matt face , ‘ are crazy ! ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt lips form a straight line . ‘ [I]_2342-matt fucking feel it . Get [your]_2342-matt arse to bed ! ’_[2342-matt] What ? Get [my]_2342-matt arse to bed ? [The man]_327-jesse is way past unreasonable – [he]_327-jesse ’s completely impossible . [I]_2342-matt feel [my]_2342-matt brow knit . If [I]_2342-matt spend any more time with [this man]_327-jesse , [I]_2342-matt ’ll be having [Botox]_188-botox before [I]_2342-matt ’m twenty seven . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not getting in bed with [you]_327-jesse ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt kick [my]_2342-matt heels off and pivot , leaving [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} and [my]_2342-matt simmering control freak behind . With [me]_2342-matt in [my]_2342-matt underwear and [my]_2342-matt dress in a dozen pieces , [I]_2342-matt ’m pretty much screwed . [I]_2342-matt take [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , slamming [my]_2342-matt feet down , huffing all the way . [I]_2342-matt could scream ! [He]_327-jesse ’s a raving fucking nutjob ! Barging into [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} , [I]_2342-matt spot [my]_2342-matt gym bag at the end of the bed , but [I]_2342-matt know there are no clothes in there . [I]_2342-matt found that out this morning when [my]_2342-matt dress was set out waiting for [me]_2342-matt . Well , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not staying in [here]_314-here . No fucking way ! [I]_2342-matt stomp back out and head across the open landing , letting [myself]_2342-matt into [the furthest spare bedroom]_{1973-the furthest spare bedroom} . [I]_2342-matt have a choice of [three others]_{1974-three others} , but [this one]_2342-matt is [my]_2342-matt favourite and it ’s the furthest away from [him]_2342-matt ! [I]_2342-matt slam the door behind [me]_2342-matt and crawl into the wonderfully dressed bed that still looks like it did on launch night . Flinging all the fancy cushions on the floor , [I]_2342-matt slam [my]_2342-matt frustrated head down into the pillow . It does n’t smell of fresh water and mint , and it ’s nowhere near as comfortable as [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s bed , but it will do for tonight . Tomorrow , [I]_2342-matt ’m leaving . [The man]_2342-matt is deranged ! There is just no bloody point even trying to have [my]_2342-matt own way . Even if [he]_2342-matt ’s gentlemanly enough to give it to [me]_2342-matt , [he]_2342-matt tramples all over it later anyway . [ARSE]_247-arse ! The door opens wide , the light from the open landing gushing in . [I]_2342-matt watch [his]_2342-matt silhouette grow larger as [he]_2342-matt closes in on [me]_2342-matt . What ’s [he]_2342-matt going to do now ? Pump [my]_2342-matt stomach ? [He]_2342-matt bends down and scoops [me]_2342-matt into [his]_2342-matt arms without a word . If [I]_2342-matt thought it would get [me]_2342-matt anywhere , [I]_2342-matt would fight [him]_2342-matt off . But [I]_2342-matt do n’t . [I]_2342-matt let [him]_2342-matt carry [me]_2342-matt into [[his]_2342-matt bedroom]_{3399-his bedroom} and place [me]_2342-matt in [his]_2342-matt bed . [I]_2342-matt roll over onto [my]_2342-matt front , burying [my]_2342-matt face into a pillow , closing [my]_2342-matt eyes and pretending not to relish in the comfort of [his]_327-jesse scent all over the sheets . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] mentally exhausted and grateful it ’s the weekend . [I]_2342-matt might sleep for the whole of it . [I]_2342-matt hear the shuffles and movements of [Jesse]_327-jesse getting undressed . [He]_327-jesse better stay on [his]_327-jesse own side ! The bed dips , [I]_2342-matt ’m grasped around [my]_2342-matt waist and pulled , with minimum effort , into the hardness of [his]_327-jesse chest . [I]_2342-matt try to bat [him]_327-jesse away , ignoring the warning growl emanating from [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] Get off ! ’ [I]_832-ava snap , peeling [his]_327-jesse fingers away from [me]_832-ava . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , ’ [His]_327-jesse tone is seriously lacking patience . It just incenses [me]_832-ava further . ‘_[832-ava] Tomorrow … I’m out of here . ’ [I]_832-ava spit , heaving [myself]_832-ava away from [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[832-ava] [We]_1976-we ’ll see . ’ [He]_327-jesse almost laughs as [he]_327-jesse yanks [me]_832-ava back into [him]_327-jesse , squeezing [me]_832-ava to [his]_327-jesse body . [I]_832-ava stop fighting , it ’s a fruitless endeavor . Besides , [I]_832-ava ca n’t help the immense contentment [I]_832-ava feel with [his]_327-jesse arms wrapped tightly around [me]_832-ava , [his]_327-jesse hot breath in [my]_832-ava hair . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] still boiling mad , though . Chapter 33 ‘ Rise and shine , [lady]_832-ava . ’_[1977-he] [His]_1977-he nose is touching [mine]_1978-mine as [I]_2342-matt open [my]_2342-matt eyes . [I]_2342-matt give [my]_2342-matt brain a few moments to kick into gear and [my]_2342-matt eyes time to adjust to the light . When [my]_2342-matt focus eventually clears , [I]_2342-matt find [he]_1977-he ’s looking down at [me]_2342-matt with bright green , twinkling eyes . [I]_2342-matt , on the other hand , want to sleep some more . It ’s Saturday , and not even [my]_2342-matt need to rip a strip off of [him]_1977-he will get [me]_2342-matt out of this bed any time soon . [I]_2342-matt push [him]_1977-he away , rolling over . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not talking to [you]_1979-you . ’ [I]_2342-matt grumble , snuggling back down into [my]_2342-matt pillow . [He]_1977-he gives [my]_2342-matt backside a swift slap before flipping [me]_2342-matt back over and pinning [my]_2342-matt arms down . ‘_[2342-matt] That hurt ! ’ [I]_2342-matt scowl at [him]_1977-he . The corners of [his]_1977-he lush lips are twitching , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] in no mood for [roguish Jesse]_327-jesse this morning . Why is [he]_1977-he so happy ? Oh , yes . [I]_2342-matt know damn well why . [He]_1977-he ’s shredded the taboo dress and [he]_1977-he ’s got [me]_2342-matt before eight o’clock . [I]_2342-matt ’m swathed from head to toe in [him]_1977-he as [he]_1977-he gazes down at [me]_2342-matt , running [his]_1977-he eyes all over [my]_2342-matt face . [I]_2342-matt should bring [my]_2342-matt knee up and catch [him]_1977-he where it counts ! ‘_[2342-matt] Now , today can go one of two ways , ’ [he]_1977-he informs [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_1980-you can stop being unreasonable and [we]_1981-we ’ll have a lovely day together . Or , [you]_1980-you can continue being a defiant little temptress , and [I]_2342-matt ’ll be forced to handcuff [you]_1980-you to the bed and dig [you]_1980-you in [the tickle spot]_{1982-the tickle spot} until [you]_1980-you lose consciousness . What ’s it to be , [baby]_832-ava ? ’ [Me]_832-ava ? Unreasonable ? [My]_832-ava jaw falls open as [he]_832-ava watches [me]_832-ava with interest . Does [he]_832-ava seriously think [I]_832-ava wo n’t challenge [him]_832-ava on that little proposal ? [I]_832-ava lift [my]_832-ava head so [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] right up close to [his]_832-ava stubbled , irritatingly stunning face . ‘ Fuck … off . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say , slowly and clearly . [He]_832-ava recoils , [his]_832-ava eyes widening at [my]_2342-matt brashness . [I]_2342-matt ’m pretty ashamed of [myself]_2342-matt too . But [he]_832-ava brings out the worst in [me]_2342-matt with [his]_832-ava unreasonable ways . ‘_[2342-matt] Watch [your]_832-ava fucking mouth ! ’ ‘_[2342-matt] No ! What the hell are [you]_832-ava doing having [doormen]_1984-doormen advise [you]_832-ava of [my]_2342-matt movements ? ’ That little memory has just landed in [my]_832-ava waking brain . But if [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] right , and [he]_832-ava ’s arranged for [bouncers]_{1985-bouncers} to monitor [me]_2342-matt , then [I]_2342-matt ’ll boil over . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , all [I]_2342-matt want to do is make sure [you]_832-ava ’re_[2342-matt] safe . ’ [He]_832-ava drops [his]_832-ava head down , starting to chew [his]_832-ava lip . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt worry , that ’s all . ’ [He]_832-ava worries ? [He]_832-ava ’s known [me]_2342-matt for less than a month , and [he]_832-ava ’s getting all protective and possessive ? [He]_832-ava tramples everywhere , derails [me]_2342-matt , cuts up [my]_2342-matt dresses and prohibits [me]_2342-matt from drinking . UNREASONABLE ! ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m twenty six years old , [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt returns [his]_2342-matt eyes to [mine]_2342-matt . [They]_1986-they ’re dark again . ‘_[1986-they] Why did [you]_1987-you wear that dress ? ’ ‘_[1987-you] To piss [you]_1987-you off , ’ [I]_1987-you answer honestly , wriggling a little in complete vain . [I]_1987-you ’m_[1987-you] not going anywhere . ‘ But [you]_1987-you thought [you]_1987-you were n’t going to see [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt brow furrows . Does [he]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt was wearing it for [someone else]_{2416-someone else} ? ‘ It ’s principle , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mutter . [I]_2342-matt wanted the upper hand , even if [he]_2342-matt did n’t know it . ‘ [You]_1987-you owe [me]_2342-matt a dress . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt smiles , nearly blinding [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [We]_3400-we ’ll put it on [our]_3400-we list of things to do today . ’_[2342-matt] What list would that be ? Right now , [I]_2342-matt want to go back to sleep . Or , [he]_2342-matt could wake [me]_2342-matt up another way . [I]_2342-matt squirm underneath [him]_2342-matt , [his]_2342-matt eyebrows jumping up in surprise . ‘ What ’s all that about ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks , blatantly trying to hide a grin . Okay , now [I]_2342-matt know exactly what [his]_2342-matt game is . [He]_2342-matt ’s going to deny [me]_2342-matt , just like [he]_2342-matt did last night and just like [he]_2342-matt did before [I]_2342-matt went out . That ’s going to be [his]_2342-matt punishment for [me]_2342-matt defying [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt ’s cute . It ’s the worst thing [he]_2342-matt could do . ‘ [You]_2342-matt do n’t need to keep [me]_2342-matt safe . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt gripe , worming [my]_2342-matt way free from under [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt can set the gauntlet all [he]_2342-matt likes . ‘ That ’s how much [I]_2342-matt care about [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt calls to [my]_2342-matt back , as [I]_2342-matt leave [him]_2342-matt lying on the bed . Care ? [I]_2342-matt want [him]_2342-matt to love [me]_2342-matt , not care . [I]_2342-matt walk across [the bedroom]_{440-the toilet} to [the bathroom]_{440-the toilet} , shutting the door behind [me]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt cares about [me]_2342-matt , like [a brother]_{1990-a brother} or something ? [I]_2342-matt feel [my]_2342-matt heart slowly cracking . [I]_2342-matt go to [the toilet]_{440-the toilet} and wash [my]_2342-matt hands before placing [myself]_2342-matt in front of the huge mirror that spans the back of the vanity unit . [I]_2342-matt sigh wearily . What am [I]_2342-matt going to do ? [He]_2342-matt cares . If caring means poking up with this , then [he]_2342-matt can devote [his]_2342-matt care elsewhere . [I]_2342-matt wash [my]_2342-matt face and make a grab for [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s toothbrush , only to find [my]_2342-matt own in the holder with it . Huh ? [I]_2342-matt cake it in paste on a frown and set about brushing [my]_2342-matt teeth , glancing in the mirror to the shower and spotting [my]_2342-matt shampoo and conditioner on the shelf , along with [my]_2342-matt razor and body wash . Has [he]_2342-matt moved [me]_2342-matt in ? [I]_2342-matt carry on brushing [my]_2342-matt teeth , opening the door back into [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} , finding [Jesse]_327-jesse sprawled on [his]_327-jesse front with [his]_327-jesse face buried in the pillow . [I]_2342-matt walk past [him]_327-jesse into [the walk - in - wardrobe]_{1992-the walk - in - wardrobe} , nearly choking on [my]_2342-matt toothpaste when [I]_2342-matt see a selection of [my]_2342-matt clothes hanging there . [He]_327-jesse has moved [me]_2342-matt in ! That ’s a bit presumptuous , is n’t it ? Did [I]_2342-matt not get a say ? [I]_2342-matt might very well love [him]_327-jesse , but [I]_2342-matt ’ve known [him]_327-jesse for a few weeks . Moving in ? What does this mean ? Does [he]_327-jesse want [me]_2342-matt here to take care of [me]_2342-matt ? Well , if so , [he]_327-jesse can sod right off . Control [me]_2342-matt , more like . ‘ Problem ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt swing around , [my]_2342-matt toothbrush hanging from [my]_2342-matt mouth , to find [Jesse]_327-jesse filling the doorway of [the wardrobe]_{1993-the wardrobe} , looking slightly apprehensive . It ’s a look that [I]_2342-matt ’ve not seen on [him]_327-jesse before . [My]_2342-matt eyes drift down [his]_327-jesse torso , delighting in the flex of [his]_327-jesse muscles as [he]_327-jesse braces [himself]_327-jesse on the door frame with both hands . But [I]_2342-matt quickly re - focus [my]_2342-matt attention away from [his]_327-jesse distracting chest , suddenly remembering why [I]_2342-matt ’m in the wardrobe . [I]_2342-matt garble a load of inaudible words around [my]_2342-matt toothpaste and brush . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry , run that by [me]_2342-matt again . ’_[2342-matt] [His]_327-jesse lips twitch at the corners as [I]_2342-matt yank [my]_2342-matt brush from [my]_2342-matt mouth . [He]_327-jesse bloody well knows what ’s wrong with [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt garble again , [my]_2342-matt words a little more comprehensible with the absence of [my]_2342-matt brush , but the paste is still hindering proper speech . [He]_327-jesse rolls [his]_327-jesse eyes and picks [me]_2342-matt up , taking [me]_2342-matt to [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} . ‘ Spit . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse commands as [he]_327-jesse places [me]_2342-matt on [my]_2342-matt feet . [I]_2342-matt rid [my]_2342-matt mouth of all the paste and turn to face [my]_2342-matt unreasonable control freak . ‘ What ’s all this ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt wave [my]_2342-matt arm around in the general direction of everything . [He]_327-jesse clamps [his]_327-jesse lips together to suppress a smile and leans forward , licking off the remnants of the paste from around [my]_2342-matt mouth , [his]_327-jesse hot tongue sweeping across [my]_2342-matt bottom lip slowly . ‘ There . What ’s what ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse flicks [his]_327-jesse tongue up to [my]_2342-matt temple , blowing a long , hot breath in [my]_2342-matt ear . [I]_2342-matt tense when [he]_327-jesse reaches down to cup [my]_2342-matt sex , sending chills of pleasure flying through [me]_2342-matt . ‘ No ! ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt push [him]_327-jesse away from [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] not manipulating [me]_2342-matt with [your]_2342-matt delicious Godliness ! ’ [He]_327-jesse grins that roguish grin . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt ’m [a God]_{74-a god} ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt huff , turning back to the mirror . [His]_327-jesse head is expanding at a rate so fast , [I]_2342-matt might be forced to jump out the bathroom window before [I]_2342-matt ’m squashed against a wall . [He]_327-jesse curves [his]_327-jesse arm around [my]_2342-matt waist and pulls [me]_2342-matt against [his]_327-jesse front . Leaning down and resting [his]_327-jesse chin on [my]_2342-matt shoulder , [he]_327-jesse studies [me]_2342-matt in the reflection of the mirror . Pushing [his]_327-jesse erection between [my]_2342-matt thighs , [he]_327-jesse circles [his]_327-jesse hips , sending [my]_2342-matt hands flying down to catch the side of the vanity unit . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t mind being [[your]_2342-matt God]_{1995-your god} . ’ [he]_327-jesse whispers on a husk . ‘_[2342-matt] Why is [my]_2342-matt stuff here ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask [his]_327-jesse reflection , willing [my]_2342-matt body to behave and not get swallowed up by all [his]_327-jesse lovely Godliness . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt collected it from [Kate]_2557-kate ’s earlier . [I]_2342-matt thought [you]_2342-matt could stay [here]_314-here for a few days . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Do [I]_2342-matt get a say ? ’ [He]_327-jesse circles those damn hips again , milking a small cry from [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Do [you]_2342-matt ever ? ’ [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head at [him]_2342-matt in the mirror . One corner of [his]_2342-matt mouth rises on a mischievous smile as [he]_2342-matt circles again . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not going to react to [his]_2342-matt damn hip swivels because [I]_2342-matt know [he]_2342-matt ’s going to leave [me]_2342-matt hanging again . And what ’s [Kate]_2557-kate playing at , letting all [these men]_{1997-these men} rummage through [my]_2342-matt belongings ? There ’s more than two days ’ worth of clothes hanging in [that wardrobe]_{3402-that wardrobe} . What ’s [his]_2342-matt game ? ‘_[65-ha] Get [yourself]_2342-matt ready , [lady]_65-ha . ’ [He]_2342-matt kisses [my]_2342-matt neck and smacks [my]_2342-matt arse . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m taking [you]_2342-matt out . Where would [you]_2342-matt like to go ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look at [him]_2342-matt stunned . ‘ [I]_2342-matt get to choose ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt shrugs . ‘ [I]_2342-matt have to let [you]_2342-matt have [your]_2342-matt way some of the time . ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt face is dead pan . [He]_2342-matt ’s completely serious . [I]_2342-matt should grab [his]_2342-matt offer of power with both hands while [he]_2342-matt ’s being so reasonable , but [I]_2342-matt ’m suspicious . After [his]_2342-matt reaction last night , [his]_2342-matt massacre of the taboo dress and the silent treatment , [I‘m]_2342-matt befuddled as to why [he]_2342-matt ’s woken up all balanced and stable . ‘_[2342-matt] So , what would [you]_1999-you like to do ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks . ‘_[2342-matt] Let ’s go to [Camden]_832-ava . ’ [I]_2342-matt suggest , bracing [myself]_2342-matt for [his]_2342-matt refusal . [Men]_2420-men hate all that hustle and bustle and roaming around browsing at stuff . ‘_[2342-matt] Okay . ’ [He]_2342-matt turns to get in the shower , leaving [me]_2342-matt at the sink wondering where [[my]_2342-matt challenging control freak]_{3404-my challenging control freak} has gone . Now , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] most definitely suspicious . [I]_2342-matt land at the bottom of [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} to hear [Jesse]_327-jesse talking on [his]_327-jesse phone . [I]_2342-matt walk into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} and dribble a little . [He]_327-jesse looks glorious in some worn jeans and a navy polo shirt , collar turned up – [Jesse]_327-jesse style . [He]_327-jesse ’s shaved and shoved some wax in [his]_327-jesse hair . [He]_327-jesse really is unreasonably handsome , as well as unreasonable everything else . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’ll be in tomorrow , is everything okay ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse turns from [his]_327-jesse stool , running an eye down [my]_2342-matt body . ‘ Thanks , [John]_832-ava . Call [me]_327-jesse if [you]_832-ava need [me]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse places [his]_327-jesse phone down without looking away from [me]_2342-matt , folding [his]_327-jesse arms over [his]_327-jesse chest . ‘ [I]_327-jesse like [your]_832-ava dress . ’_[327-jesse] [His]_327-jesse voice is all low and husky . [I]_2342-matt look down at [my]_2342-matt flowing , floral tea dress . It sits on [my]_2342-matt knee so the length probably meets with [his]_327-jesse approval . [I]_2342-matt ’m surprised [Kate]_2557-kate packed it ; it ’s a bit summery , with its cut out back and lack of sleeves . [I]_2342-matt smile to [myself]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse has n’t seen the back yet . And [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not showing [him]_327-jesse either . [He]_327-jesse ’ll make [me]_2342-matt change . [I]_2342-matt know it . [I]_2342-matt pull on [my]_2342-matt thin knitted , cream cardigan , then position [my]_2342-matt suede bag across [my]_2342-matt body . ‘ Ready ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [He]_327-jesse pushes [himself]_327-jesse to [his]_327-jesse feet , approaching [me]_2342-matt all moodily . [I]_2342-matt expect a deep kiss , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t get one . Instead , [he]_327-jesse slips [his]_327-jesse Wayfarers on , takes [my]_2342-matt hand and pulls [me]_2342-matt towards the door . [I]_2342-matt get to spend the whole day with [him]_327-jesse and [he]_327-jesse ’s not even going to kiss [me]_2342-matt ? ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] not going to touch [me]_2342-matt all day , are [you]_2342-matt ? ’ [He]_327-jesse looks down at [our]_3405-our joined hands . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m touching [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_2342-matt know what [I]_2342-matt mean . [You]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] punishing [me]_2342-matt . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Why would [I]_2342-matt do that , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [He]_327-jesse pulls [me]_2342-matt into [the elevator]_{780-the elevator} . [He]_327-jesse knows damn well what [my]_2342-matt point is . [I]_2342-matt look up at [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt want [you]_2342-matt to touch [me]_2342-matt . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt know [you]_2342-matt do . ’ [He]_327-jesse punches in the code . ‘_[2342-matt] But [you]_2342-matt wo n’t ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Give [me]_2342-matt what [I]_2342-matt want , and [I]_2342-matt will . ’ [He]_327-jesse does n’t look at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt do n’t believe this . ‘_[2342-matt] An apology ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know , [Ava]_832-ava . Do [you]_2342-matt need to apologise ? ’ [He]_327-jesse still keeps [his]_327-jesse focus straight ahead . Even in the reflection of the doors , [he]_327-jesse still wo n’t meet [my]_2342-matt eyes . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt practically spit . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]_2002-his ’s doing this . And [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [I]_2342-matt ’m this desperate for the contact . ‘_[2342-matt] Now , if [you]_2342-matt ’re going to apologise , at least sound sorry . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sorry . ’ [His]_2002-his eyes meet [mine]_2342-matt in the mirror . ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_2342-matt ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Yes , [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_2342-matt want [me]_2342-matt to touch [you]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Yes . ’_[2002-his] [He]_2002-his turns into [me]_2342-matt fast , pushing [me]_2342-matt up against the mirrored wall and completely blanketing [me]_2342-matt with [his]_2002-his body . [I]_2342-matt feel instantly better . That was n’t too hard at all . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] beginning to understand , are n’t [you]_2342-matt ? ’ [His]_2002-his lips hover over [mine]_2342-matt , [his]_2002-his hips pushing into [my]_2342-matt lower stomach . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt understand . ’ [I]_2342-matt pant . [He]_2002-his takes [my]_2342-matt mouth , [my]_2342-matt hands finding [his]_2002-his shoulders , [my]_2342-matt nails digging straight into [his]_2002-his muscles . Yes , that ’s much better . [I]_2342-matt meet [his]_2002-his tongue , melting into [him]_2002-his completely . ‘_[2342-matt] Happy ? ’ [he]_2002-his asks , breaking [our]_3407-our kiss . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [Me]_2342-matt too . Let ’s go . ’ [We]_3407-our pull up in [Camden]_832-ava for breakfast after [Jesse]_327-jesse got [his]_2342-matt way and drove . It ’s a beautiful day , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] already too warm in [my]_2342-matt cardigan , but [I]_2342-matt ’ll suffer for a little longer . There ’s still scope for [him]_2342-matt to take [me]_2342-matt [home]_281-home in disgrace and make [me]_2342-matt change . [Jesse]_327-jesse collects [me]_2342-matt from [the pavement]_{2745-the pavement} , leading [me]_2342-matt across [the road]_{2482-the road} to a lovely little quaint café . ‘ [You]_3408-you ’ll love it here . [We]_3409-we ’ll sit outside . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_2342-matt pulls out a large wicker chair for [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Why will [I]_2342-matt love it ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask as [I]_2342-matt sit on the polka dot cushion . ‘ [They]_3409-we do the best Eggs Benedict . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt smiles brightly at [me]_2342-matt when [he]_2342-matt sees [my]_2342-matt eyes light up . [The waitress]_{453-the waitress} approaches on a dribble when [she]_{453-the waitress} spots [Jesse]_327-jesse in all [his]_327-jesse manly Godliness , but [he]_327-jesse ’s completely oblivious . ‘ Can [we]_3410-we have two of the Eggs [Benedict]_249-benedict , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse points at the menu , ‘ a strong black coffee and a cappuccino with an extra shot , no chocolate or sugar , please . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse turns [his]_327-jesse face up to [the waitress]_{453-the waitress} , blasting [her]_{453-the waitress} with one of [his]_327-jesse smiles , reserved only for [women]_348-women . ‘ Thank [you]_{453-the waitress} . ’_{[453-the waitress]} [She]_{453-the waitress} appears to stagger slightly . [I]_2342-matt laugh to [myself]_2342-matt . Yes , [he]_2342-matt had that exact same affect on [me]_2342-matt . [She]_{453-the waitress} eventually finds [her]_{453-the waitress} voice . ‘ Would [you]_{453-the waitress} like ham or salmon with [your]_{453-the waitress} eggs ? ’_{[453-the waitress]} [He]_2342-matt hands [her]_{453-the waitress} the menu , taking off [his]_2342-matt Wayfarers so [she]_{453-the waitress} gets the full impact of [his]_2342-matt stunning face . ‘ Salmon , please . ’_{[453-the waitress]} [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head in dismay and check [my]_2342-matt phone , while [the waitress]_363-irene makes a meal of writing out [our]_2009-our basic order . [I]_2342-matt wonder how [Victoria]_54-victoria and [Drew]_327-jesse got on . [I]_2342-matt ’m not so bothered about [Tom]_60-tom – [he]_60-tom ’s undoubtedly in love again with [the latest soul mate]_{3411-the latest soul mate} . ‘_[2342-matt] White or granary ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Sorry ? ’ [I]_2342-matt glance up from [my]_2342-matt phone and find [the waitress]_363-irene still hovering . ‘_[2342-matt] Would [you]_2010-he like white or granary bread ? ’ [Jesse]_327-jesse repeats on a small smile . ‘_[2342-matt] Oh , granary , please , ’ [He]_327-jesse returns [his]_327-jesse glorious greens to [the wilting waitress]_363-irene . ‘_[2342-matt] Both granary , thank [you]_2010-he , ’ [She]_363-irene flashes [her]_363-irene most willing smile before finally leaving [us]_2009-our . [The woman]_363-irene ’s reaction to [Jesse]_327-jesse reminds [me]_2342-matt of how many [others]_933-others would have been before [me]_2342-matt . It makes [me]_2342-matt feel crap . Was [he]_327-jesse as unreasonable and controlling with all the others ? [Christ]_72-jesus , [I]_2342-matt bet there have been a few . [I]_2342-matt place [my]_2342-matt phone on the table and look across at [Jesse]_327-jesse , who ’s watching [me]_2342-matt closely , chewing [his]_327-jesse lip . What ’s [he]_327-jesse considering ? ‘_[2342-matt] How are [your]_2010-he legs ? ’ [he]_327-jesse asks , but [I]_2010-he know that ’s not what ’s got [him]_327-jesse chomping on [his]_327-jesse bottom lip . ‘_[2010-he] Fine , do [you]_2010-he run often ? ’ [I]_2010-he already know the answer to this . [No one]_{2594-no one} gets up in the middle of the night to run fourteen miles unless [they]_3414-they ’re_[2010-he] serious about it . ‘ It distracts [me]_2010-he . ’_[2010-he] [He]_2010-he shrugs , sitting back in [his]_2010-he chair , [his]_2010-he expression thoughtful . ‘ Distracts [you]_2010-he from what ? ’_[2010-he] [He]_2010-he keeps [his]_2010-he eyes on [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_2010-he , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scoff . [He]_2010-he ’s obviously not running very much at the moment then , because [he]_2010-he ’s spending most of [his]_2010-he time trampling all over [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Why do [you]_2010-he need distracting from [me]_2010-he ? ’_[2010-he] ‘ Because , [Ava]_832-ava … ’_[2010-he] [He]_2010-he sighs . ‘ [I]_2010-he ca n’t seem to stay away from [you]_2010-he and , more worryingly , [I]_2010-he do n’t wo n’t to . ’_[2010-he] [His]_2010-he tone harbours frustration . Is [he]_2010-he frustrated with [me]_2342-matt or with [himself]_2010-he ? [The waitress]_{453-the waitress} places [our]_2012-our coffees on the table and lingers for a while , but [she]_{453-the waitress} does n’t get blessed with another knock out smile . [He]_2010-he ’s focused on [me]_2342-matt alone . [His]_2010-he statement is bitter sweet . [I]_2342-matt ’m delighted that [he]_2010-he ca n’t stay away from [me]_2342-matt , but slightly affronted that it seems to annoy [him]_2010-he . ‘_[2342-matt] Why would that be worrying ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask nonchalantly , while stirring [my]_2342-matt cappuccino and mentally pleading for some satisfactory answers . After a few moments have passed , [he]_2010-he still has n’t answered so [I]_2342-matt glance up , discovering the cogs whirling at a hundred miles an hour and [his]_2010-he bottom lip getting a punishing chew . [He]_2010-he eventually exhales noisily , dropping [his]_2010-he eyes . ‘_[2342-matt] It ’s worrying because [I]_2342-matt feel out of control , ’ [He]_2010-he returns [his]_2010-he eyes to [me]_2342-matt , penetrating [me]_2342-matt with [his]_2010-he fixed , green stare . ‘_[2342-matt] Feeling out of control is not something [I]_2342-matt do well , [Ava]_832-ava . Not where [you]_832-ava ’re concerned . ’_[832-ava] Ah ! Is [he]_2013-he admitting that [he]_2013-he ’s [a complete unreasonable control freak]_{2014-a complete unreasonable control freak} ? It ’s bloody obvious that [he]_2013-he does n’t cope when [he]_2013-he ’s defied – [I]_2342-matt ’ve seen hard evidence of that . ‘ If [you]_832-ava were more reasonable , [you]_832-ava would n’t feel out of control very often . Are [you]_832-ava like this with all [[your]_832-ava women]_{3415-your women} ? ’_[2013-he] [His]_2013-he eyes widen , then narrow . ‘ [I]_2013-he ’ve never cared enough about [anyone else]_{1027-anyone else} to feel like this , ’_[2013-he] [He]_2013-he picks up [his]_2013-he coffee . ‘ It ’s just fucking typical that [I]_2013-he would go and find [the most defiant woman on [the planet]_{2913-the planet}]_{3417-the most defiant woman on the planet} to … ’_[2013-he] ‘ Try and control ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt raise [my]_2342-matt eyebrows at [him]_2013-he , and [he]_2013-he deepens [his]_2013-he scowl on [me]_2342-matt . ‘ What about other relationships ? ’_[2013-he] ‘ [I]_2013-he do n’t have relationships . [I]_2013-he ’m_[2013-he] not interested in getting involved . Anyway , [I]_2342-matt do n’t have time . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2015-you ’ve devoted enough time to trampling all over [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2015-you blurt over [my]_2015-you coffee cup . If this is n’t involved , then [I]_2015-you do n’t know what is . [He]_2013-he shakes [his]_2013-he head . ‘_[2015-you] [You]_2015-you ’re different . [I]_2342-matt told [you]_2015-you , [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt ’ll trample [anyone who tries to get in [my]_2342-matt way]_{3419-anyone who tries to get in my way} . Even [you]_2015-you . ’_[2342-matt] This [I]_2342-matt know . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been trampled already when [I]_2342-matt refused to stay in . [I]_2342-matt ’m glad [my]_2342-matt trampling ritual is a little different to that of others who have had the pleasure . [Poor Cockney]_169-cockney springs to mind immediately . [He]_169-cockney ’s not interested in relationships ? Where ’s this going then ? [Our]_3420-our breakfast lands on the table , smelling divine . Tucking in , [I]_2342-matt ponder [his]_169-cockney declaration of being out of control . The solution is pretty simple – stop being so unreasonable and challenging . [He]_169-cockney ’ll keel over from a stress induced heart attack if [he]_169-cockney carries on the way [he]_169-cockney has . ‘_[2342-matt] Why am [I]_2342-matt so different ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . [My]_2342-matt voice is small . [He]_169-cockney calves [his]_169-cockney way through [his]_169-cockney salmon . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_169-cockney says quietly . ‘_[832-ava] [You]_832-ava do n’t know much , do [you]_832-ava ? ’ It ’s all [he]_169-cockney bloody says when [I]_832-ava try and determine a reason for [his]_169-cockney controlling ways . [I]_832-ava spark “ all sorts of feelings ” . What am [I]_832-ava supposed to make of all this ? ‘_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt know that [I]_2342-matt ’ve never wanted to fuck [a woman]_{395-a woman} more than once . [You]_832-ava , though , [I]_2342-matt really do . ’ [I]_832-ava recoil in horror , nearly choking on a piece of toast . [He]_169-cockney has the decency to look apologetic . ‘_[832-ava] That came out wrong . ’ [He]_169-cockney puts [his]_169-cockney fork down , closing [his]_169-cockney eyes and rubbing [his]_169-cockney temples . ‘_[832-ava] What [I]_2342-matt ’m trying to say is that … well … [I’ve]_2342-matt never cared about [a woman]_{395-a woman} enough to want more than sex . Not until [I]_2342-matt met [you]_832-ava , ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt head rub gets more aggressive . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ca n’t explain it , but [you]_832-ava felt it , did n’t [you]_832-ava ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt looks at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt see desperation for confirmation . ‘ When [we]_3421-we met , [you]_832-ava felt it . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile lightly . ‘ Yes , [I]_2342-matt felt it . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll never forget it . [His]_2342-matt expression changes instantly – [he]_2342-matt ’s smiling again . ‘ Eat [your]_832-ava breakfast . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt points [his]_2342-matt fork at [my]_2342-matt plate , and [I]_2342-matt resign [myself]_2342-matt to living without the knowledge [I]_2342-matt so desperately want . If [he]_2342-matt does n’t know , there ’s not much chance of [me]_2342-matt ever knowing . Would it make it easier to cope with [him]_2342-matt if [I]_2342-matt knew what made [his]_2342-matt complex mind tick ? Regardless , [he]_2342-matt ’s just – in not so many words – told [me]_2342-matt that [he]_2342-matt wants more than sex , has n’t [he]_2342-matt ? So , [he]_2342-matt cares about [me]_2342-matt . Does care equal control ? And [he]_2342-matt ’s never had a relationship ? [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe that for a second . [Women]_348-women throw [themselves]_348-women at [this man]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt ca n’t just screw them all once , surely ? [Christ]_72-jesus , if [he]_2342-matt ’s never fucked [a woman]_{395-a woman} more than once , how many have there been ? [I]_2342-matt ’m just about to ask this question , but [I]_2342-matt halt mid - inhale . Do [I]_2342-matt want to know ? [I]_2342-matt ’ve been sleeping with [this man with no protection]_2342-matt , and even though [he]_2342-matt ’s told [me]_2342-matt that [he]_2342-matt ’s never not worn a condom – except with [me]_2342-matt – should [I]_2342-matt believe [him]_2342-matt ? ‘_[2342-matt] [We]_2019-we need to buy [you]_2020-you a dress for [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} ’s anniversary party . ’ [he]_2342-matt declares , in an obvious tactic to distract [me]_2342-matt from [my]_2342-matt pressing questions and thoughts . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] sure [he]_2342-matt knows what [I]_2342-matt ’m thinking . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt have plenty of dresses . ’ [I]_2342-matt sound really unenthusiastic , which is fine , because [I]_2342-matt am . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] only half comforted by the fact that [Kate]_2557-kate will be there to help [me]_2342-matt through an evening of [Sarah]_54-victoria glaring at [me]_2342-matt and passing sly remarks . Has [he]_2342-matt fucked [Sarah]_54-victoria ? [I]_2342-matt imagine it ’s possible if [he]_2342-matt only fucks [women]_348-women once . The thought makes [me]_2342-matt stab at [my]_2342-matt breakfast a little too harshly . [He]_2342-matt frowns . ‘ [You]_54-victoria need a new one . ’_[2342-matt] It ’s that tone that dares [me]_2342-matt to challenge [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt sigh at the prospect of , yet another , wardrobe argument . [I]_2342-matt ’ve more than enough options without buying a new dress . Besides , even if [I]_2342-matt did n’t , [I]_2342-matt ’d find something just to avoid a shopping trip with [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘ Anyway , [I]_2342-matt owe [you]_54-victoria one . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt reaches over the table , pushing a loose tendril of hair behind [my]_2342-matt ear . Yes , [he]_2342-matt does owe [me]_2342-matt one , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t want it because [I]_2342-matt doubt [I]_2342-matt ’ll have any say in what dress [he]_2342-matt buys [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Do [I]_2342-matt get to choose ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Of course , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt places [his]_2342-matt knife and fork on [his]_2342-matt plate . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not [a complete control freak]_{2023-a complete control freak} . ’ [I]_327-jesse nearly drop [my]_327-jesse cutlery . Is [he]_2342-matt winding [me]_327-jesse up ? ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , [you]_327-jesse ’re really very special . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt load [my]_2342-matt voice with all the sweetness the statement deserves . ‘ Not as special as [you]_327-jesse , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt winks at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Are [you]_327-jesse ready to hit [Camden]_832-ava , [baby]_832-ava ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt nod , fishing [my]_2342-matt purse from [my]_2342-matt bag , while [he]_2342-matt watches [me]_2342-matt with a bewildered look . [I]_2342-matt put a twenty under the salt shaker on the table and observe as [he]_2342-matt stands on an exaggerated huff , digs into [his]_2342-matt pocket and replaces [my]_2342-matt money with [his]_2342-matt , snatching [my]_2342-matt purse from [my]_2342-matt hand and stuffing [my]_2342-matt note back inside . [Control freak]_{1244-control freak} ! [My]_2342-matt phone starts dancing around the table , but before [I]_2342-matt can even instruct [my]_2342-matt brain to pick it up , [Jesse]_327-jesse has snatched it from under [my]_2342-matt nose . ‘ Hello ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt greets [the mystery caller]_{2025-the mystery caller} . [I]_2342-matt look at [him]_2342-matt in disbelief . [He]_2342-matt really does n’t have any phone manners . Who is it , anyway ? ‘ [Mrs O’Shea]_{250-mrs o’shea} ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says coolly . [My]_2342-matt mouth falls open . No ! Not [[my]_2342-matt Mother]_{2026-my mother} ! [I]_2342-matt try to snatch [my]_2342-matt phone back from [him]_2342-matt , but [he]_2342-matt dances away from [me]_2342-matt with a wicked grin on [his]_2342-matt maddeningly handsome face . ‘ [I]_2342-matt have the pleasure of being with [[your]_2342-matt beautiful daughter]_{2026-my mother} . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt informs [[my]_2342-matt mother]_{2026-my mother} . [I]_2342-matt move around the table , and [he]_2342-matt shifts the other way , frowning at [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt clench [my]_2342-matt teeth and wave [my]_2342-matt hand frantically at [him]_2342-matt , but [he]_2342-matt just raises [his]_2342-matt eyebrows and shakes [his]_2342-matt head slowly . ‘ Yes , [Ava]_832-ava has told [me]_2342-matt lots about [you]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt ’ll look forward to meeting [you]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] Oh , the irritating twat ! [I]_2342-matt ’ve not mentioned much at all to [Jesse]_327-jesse about [[my]_2342-matt parents]_{2490-my parents} , and [I]_2342-matt certainly have n’t mentioned [him]_2342-matt to [them]_{2490-my parents} . Oh God , this is all [I]_2342-matt need . Glaring at [him]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt reach over , but [he]_2342-matt jumps back . ‘ Yes , [I]_2342-matt ’ll put [her]_577-mum on . It was lovely to talk to [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt hands [me]_2342-matt the phone , and [I]_2342-matt seize it from [his]_2342-matt hand with a vicious swipe . ‘ [Mum]_577-mum ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , who was that ? ’_[577-mum] [[My]_2342-matt Mum]_577-mum sounds as mystified as [I]_2342-matt expected [her]_577-mum to be . [I]_2342-matt ’m supposed to be young , free and single in [London]_5-london , and now [strange men]_{3422-strange men} are answering [my]_2342-matt phone . [I]_2342-matt narrow [my]_2342-matt eyes on [Jesse]_327-jesse , who ’s looking rather proud of [himself]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt ’s just [a friend]_{2645-a friend} , [Mum]_577-mum . What ’s up ? ’ [Jesse]_327-jesse clutches at [his]_2342-matt heart , pulling [a wounded soldier]_{3423-a wounded soldier} impersonation , but [his]_2342-matt annoyed facial expression does n’t match [his]_2342-matt playful act – not in the slightest . [I]_577-mum hear [[my]_577-mum Mother]_577-mum hum in disapproval . [I]_577-mum ca n’t believe [he]_2342-matt ’s just done that , the arrogant arse . And with everything else [I]_577-mum have to poke up with , now [I]_577-mum have the added bonus of [[my]_577-mum mother]_577-mum whittling that [I]_577-mum ’m_[577-mum] jumping into another relationship too soon . ‘ [Matt]_2342-matt called [me]_577-mum . ’_[577-mum] [she]_577-mum states flatly . [I]_2342-matt turn away from [Jesse]_327-jesse to try and hide [my]_2342-matt wide eyed look . Why has [Matt]_2342-matt called [[my]_2342-matt mother]_577-mum ? [Shit]_251-shit ! [I]_2342-matt ca n’t talk about this now , not in front of [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘ [Mum]_577-mum , can [I]_251-shit call [you]_577-mum back ? [I]_251-shit ’m_[251-shit] in [Camden]_832-ava , it ’s loud . ’ [My]_251-shit shoulders hit [my]_251-shit earlobes at the feel of [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s eyes chiseling away at [my]_251-shit back . ‘_[251-shit] Yes , [I]_2342-matt just wanted [you]_2030-you to know . [He]_2342-matt was all friendly , it does n’t sit well . ’ [She]_577-mum sounds furious . ‘_[2342-matt] Okay , [I]_2342-matt ’ll call [you]_2030-you later . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Fine , and remember , carefree fun . ’ [She]_577-mum adds the last bit in a blatant reminder of [my]_2342-matt status – whatever that is . [I]_2342-matt turn back to [Jesse]_327-jesse , finding the expression [I]_2342-matt knew [I]_2342-matt would : very unhappy . ‘_[2342-matt] Why did [you]_2030-you do that ? ’ [I]_2342-matt yell . ‘_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt ’s just [a friend]_{2645-a friend} ? Do [you]_2030-you often let [friends]_2512-friends fuck [your]_2030-you brain out ? ’ [My]_2030-you shoulders sag in defeat . [The man]_2342-matt ’s constant change in reference to [our]_2512-friends relationship is burning [my]_2030-you brain . [He]_2342-matt fucks [me]_2030-you ; [he]_2342-matt cares for [me]_2030-you ; [he]_2342-matt controls [me]_2030-you … ‘_[2030-you] Is it [your]_2030-you mission objective to make [my]_2342-matt life as difficult as possible ? ’ [His]_2342-matt eyes soften . ‘_[2030-you] No , ’ [he]_2342-matt says quietly . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m sorry . ’_[2342-matt] Good God , do [we]_2033-we have a breakthrough ? Has [he]_{2645-a friend} just apologised for being [an arse]_{2034-an arse} ? [I]_2342-matt ’m more stunned now than when [he]_{2645-a friend} hijacked [my]_2342-matt phone and greeted [[my]_2342-matt mother]_{2026-my mother} like [she]_{2026-my mother} was [an old friend]_{3425-an old friend} . [He]_{2645-a friend} said [himself]_{2645-a friend} [he]_{2645-a friend} does n’t offer apologies very often , but considering [he]_{2645-a friend} does n’t like apologising , [he]_{2645-a friend} ’s doing a lot of crazy stuff that warrants one . ‘_[2342-matt] Forget about it . ’ [I]_2342-matt sigh , shoving [my]_2342-matt phone in [my]_2342-matt bag . [I]_2342-matt start walking down [the street]_{945-the street} , towards [the canal]_{945-the street} . [His]_{2645-a friend} arm is wrapped around [my]_2342-matt shoulder within seconds . [[My]_2342-matt poor mother]_{2026-my mother} is probably giving [[my]_2342-matt Dad]_{578-my dad} ear ache right at this very moment . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt ’ll be hit with twenty questions later . And as for [Matt]_2342-matt … well , [I]_2342-matt know [his]_2342-matt game . [He]_2342-matt ’s trying to butter up [the parents]_{2490-my parents} , [the slimy little worm]_{3429-the slimy little worm} . [He]_2342-matt ’ll be sorely disappointed . [[My]_2342-matt parents]_{2490-my parents} openly dislike [him]_2342-matt now , as appose to putting up with [him]_2342-matt for [my]_2342-matt sake . [We]_3430-we spend the rest of the morning , and well into the afternoon , wandering around [Camden]_832-ava . [I]_2342-matt love it here – the diversity is the best [London]_5-london has to offer . [I]_2342-matt could lose [myself]_2342-matt for hours in [the cobbled back streets of [the markets]_{3432-the markets} and [stables]_3433-stables]_{3431-the cobbled back streets of the markets and stables} . [Jesse]_327-jesse humours [me]_2342-matt while [I]_2342-matt poke about on [the stalls]_{3434-the stalls} , keeping close and constantly touching [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] so glad [I]_2342-matt apologised . [We]_2035-we walk through [the food quarter]_{2036-the food quarter} , and [I]_2342-matt ca n’t take the heat anymore . It ’s not particularly hot , but with all [the tourists and crowds]_{2037-the tourists and crowds} , [I]_2342-matt ’m feeling stifled . [I]_832-ava remove [my]_832-ava bag from across [my]_832-ava body , taking [my]_832-ava cardigan off to wrap it around [my]_832-ava waist . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [your]_832-ava dress is missing a huge chunk ! ’ [I]_832-ava turn around on a smile , finding [him]_327-jesse gaping at the cut out section of [my]_832-ava dress . What ’s [he]_327-jesse going to do ? Undress [me]_832-ava and cut it up ? ‘_[832-ava] No , it ’s the design . ’ [I]_832-ava inform [him]_327-jesse , tying [my]_832-ava cardigan around [my]_832-ava waist and replacing [my]_832-ava bag over [my]_832-ava body . [He]_327-jesse turns [me]_832-ava around , pulling [my]_832-ava cardigan further up [my]_832-ava body in an attempt to conceal the revealed flesh . ‘_[832-ava] Will [you]_832-ava stop ? ’ [I]_832-ava laugh , wriggling free . ‘_[832-ava] Do [you]_832-ava do this on purpose ? ’ [he]_327-jesse snaps , arranging [his]_327-jesse big palm in the centre of [my]_832-ava back . ‘_[832-ava] If [you]_832-ava want full length skirts and polo neck jumpers , then [I]_2342-matt suggest [you]_832-ava find [someone]_587-someone [your]_832-ava own age . ’ [I]_2342-matt mutter as [he]_327-jesse starts guiding [me]_2342-matt through the crowds with [his]_327-jesse hand firmly in place . [I]_2342-matt earn [myself]_2342-matt a dig in the ribs for [my]_2342-matt cheek . [He]_327-jesse ’ll have [me]_2342-matt in a Burka next . ‘_[2342-matt] How old do [you]_832-ava think [I]_2342-matt am ? ’ [he]_327-jesse asks incredulously . ‘_[2342-matt] Well , [I]_2342-matt do n’t know , do [I]_2342-matt ? ’ [I]_2342-matt toss back at [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] Do [you]_832-ava want to relieve [me]_2342-matt of [my]_2342-matt wondering ? ’ [He]_327-jesse scoffs . ‘_[2342-matt] No . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] No , [I]_2342-matt did n’t think so . ’ [I]_2342-matt mutter . Something catches [my]_2342-matt attention . [I]_2342-matt quickly detour to a stall full of scented candles and all things hippy . [I]_2342-matt hear [Jesse]_327-jesse cursing behind [me]_2342-matt , barging through the crowds to keep up with [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt make it to the stool , and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] greeted by a new age type , with wild dreadlocks and plenty of piercings . ‘ Hi . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile , reaching up to grab the cloth bag from the shelf . ‘ Afternoon , ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says . ‘ Do [you]_2342-matt want some help with that ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt joins [me]_2342-matt by the shelf , helping [me]_2342-matt retrieve the cloth bag . ‘ Thanks . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt feel [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s warm palm on [me]_2342-matt again as [I]_2342-matt open the cloth bag and pull out the contents . ‘ What ’s that ? ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse asks , looking over [my]_2342-matt shoulder . ‘ These , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shake them out , ‘ are Thai fisherman pants , ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt think [you]_2342-matt need a smaller size . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt frowns , running [his]_2342-matt eyes across the huge piece of black material that [I]_2342-matt ’m holding up . ‘_[2039-they] [They]_2039-they ’re one size . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt laughs . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [you]_2342-matt could get ten of [you]_2342-matt in them . ’_[2039-they] ‘ [You]_2342-matt wrap them around . One size fits all . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve been meaning to replace [my]_2342-matt worn ones for months . [He]_2342-matt moves to the side , keeping [his]_2342-matt hand exactly where it is , and looks at the pants dubiously . Admittedly , [they]_2039-they do look like a pair of trousers for [the world]_{516-the world} ’s [most obese man]_{2041-most obese man} , but once [you]_2042-you figure [them]_2039-they out , [they]_2039-they ’re super comfy for knocking around [the house]_{308-the place} on a lazy day . ‘_[2039-they] Here , let [me]_2342-matt show [you]_2042-you . ’ [The stall owner]_2342-matt takes the trousers from [my]_2039-they grasp and kneels in front of [me]_2039-they . [I]_2039-they feel [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s palm tense on [my]_2039-they back . ‘_[2039-they] [We]_2043-we ’ll take [them]_2039-they . ’ [he]_2342-matt spits out fast . Oh , here comes a trample ! ‘_[2043-we] [You]_2042-you need a demo . ’ Dread ’s says cheerfully , jiggling the opening of the trousers at [my]_2042-you feet . [I]_2042-you lift [my]_2042-you foot to step into the trousers , only to have [myself]_2042-you tugged back slightly . [I]_2042-you glance up at [him]_2342-matt , flashing a warning look . [He]_2342-matt ’s being ridiculous . [The man]_2342-matt ’s just being friendly . ‘_[2042-you] [You]_2042-you have great legs , [Miss.]_252-miss. ’ [Dreads]_253-dreads says happily . [I]_252-miss. cringe . ‘_[252-miss.] Thanks . ’ Do n’t encourage [him]_2342-matt ! ‘_[252-miss.] Give [me]_2342-matt those . ’ [Jesse]_327-jesse snatches the pants from [Dread]_254-dread ’s before positioning [me]_252-miss. with [my]_252-miss. back to a shelf full of candles . Shaking [his]_327-jesse head and muttering under [his]_327-jesse breath , [he]_327-jesse kneels on one knee and opens the pants for [me]_252-miss. . [I]_252-miss. smile sweetly at [Dreads]_253-dreads , who seems to be oblivious to [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s trampling performance , probably too spaced out to notice . [I]_252-miss. step into the pants , pulling them up while [Jesse]_327-jesse holds onto the two gaping sides , [his]_327-jesse frown line deep on [his]_327-jesse forehead . [God]_68-god love [him]_327-jesse ! [I]_252-miss. quickly take control of the wrapping for fear of [Dreads]_253-dreads trying to intercept . ‘_[252-miss.] Like this , see ? ’ [I]_252-miss. fold the pants over , tying them on the side . ‘_[252-miss.] Wonderful , ’ [Jesse]_327-jesse mocks , looking at [them]_2045-them in confusion . [His]_327-jesse eyes find [mine]_252-miss. , and [I]_252-miss. break out in a full smile . [He]_327-jesse shakes [his]_327-jesse head , [his]_327-jesse eyes twinkling . ‘_[252-miss.] Do [you]_2044-you want [them]_2045-them ? ’ [I]_2342-matt start to unfasten and remove the trousers under [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s watchful eye . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m paying . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt inform [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt rolls [his]_2342-matt eyes on a disgusted snort , taking a wad of notes from [his]_2342-matt pocket . ‘ How much for the oversized trousers ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks [Dreads]_253-dreads . ‘ Just [a tenner]_{1342-my friend} , [[my]_2342-matt friend]_{1342-my friend} , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt fold them up , shoving them in the bag . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] paying for the trousers , [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’ ‘_[327-jesse] Is that it ? ’ [Jesse]_327-jesse shrugs as [he]_2342-matt shoves a note at Dreads . ‘_[327-jesse] Cheers , ’ [Dreads]_253-dreads shoves it in [his]_327-jesse bum - bag . ‘_[327-jesse] Come on . ’ [he]_327-jesse says , [his]_327-jesse hand replaced on the exposed flesh of [my]_327-jesse back . ‘_[327-jesse] [You]_2046-you did n’t have to trample [the poor man]_{1922-my challenging man} . ’ [I]_327-jesse moan . ‘_[327-jesse] And [I]_2342-matt wanted to pay for the pants . ’ [He]_327-jesse pulls [me]_327-jesse into [his]_327-jesse side , pressing [his]_327-jesse lips into [my]_327-jesse temple . ‘_[327-jesse] Shut up . ’ ‘_[2046-you] [You]_2046-you ’re impossible , ’_[2046-you] ‘ [You]_2046-you ’re_[2046-you] beautiful . Can [I]_2342-matt take [you]_2046-you [home]_281-home now ? ’ [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head at [[my]_2342-matt challenging man]_{1922-my challenging man} . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes . ’ [My]_2342-matt feet are aching . And [I]_2342-matt have to commend [him]_{1922-my challenging man} on [his]_{1922-my challenging man} tolerance of [my]_2342-matt leisurely meander today . [He]_{1922-my challenging man} ’s been pretty reasonable . [I]_2342-matt let [him]_{1922-my challenging man} lead [me]_2342-matt through the crowds until [we]_3438-we emerge from [the packed alley]_{3439-the packed alley} , where the sound of booming , heavy techno music assaults [my]_2342-matt ears . [I]_2342-matt look over , seeing neon lights creeping from the darkness of [the factory building]_{3440-the factory} and [crowds of people gathering at the entrance]_{3441-crowds of people gathering at the entrance} . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never been in [the place]_{308-the place} , but it ’s famed for its off the wall club wear and wild accessories . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2049-you want to see ? ’ [I]_2342-matt look up at [Jesse]_327-jesse and find [he]_327-jesse ’s followed [my]_2342-matt gaze to the entrance of [the factory]_{3440-the factory} . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt thought [you]_2049-you wanted to go [home]_281-home . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [We]_2051-we can have a quick look . ’ [He]_{1922-my challenging man} redirects [us]_2051-we to the entrance , leading [me]_2051-we into the dimly lit space . The music pounds [my]_2051-we ear drums as [we]_2051-we enter . The first thing [I]_2051-we notice is [two club dancers]_{3443-two club dancers} , kitted out in hi - visibility underwear , performing some pretty jaw dropping moves on a metal suspended balcony . [I]_2051-we ca n’t help but stare . [You]_3444-you would think [we]_2051-we were in [a nightclub]_{3445-a nightclub} in the early hours . [Jesse]_327-jesse directs [me]_2051-we to an escalator that takes [us]_2051-we down to the bowels of [the factory]_{3440-the factory} . As [we]_2051-we reach the bottom , [my]_2051-we eyes are assaulted , being attacked by florescent clothing in every colour and description . [Do people]_{3446-do people} wear this stuff ? ‘_[2051-we] It ’s not lace , is it ? ’ [he]_{1922-my challenging man} muses , catching [me]_2051-we gawking at a bright yellow miniskirt , with metal spikes protruding from the hem line . ‘_[2051-we] Lace , it ’s not , ’ [I]_2051-we agree . It ’s hideous . ‘_[2051-we] Do [people]_372-people wear this stuff ? ’ [He]_{1922-my challenging man} laughs , nodding at [a group of people]_{3447-a group of people} , who look like [they]_{3447-a group of people} might pass out with excitement . [They]_{3447-a group of people} must have a million piercings between [them]_{3447-a group of people} . [He]_{1922-my challenging man} leads [me]_372-people through the maze of [corridors]_{3448-corridors} . [I]_372-people ’m_[372-people] completely engrossed by [my]_2342-matt surroundings . This is serious clubbing attire for the hardcore clubber . [We]_2053-we wander around the metal maze of steel corridors and down [some more stairs]_{2054-some more stairs} , finding [ourselves]_2053-we closed in on every angle by … sex toys . [I]_2342-matt cringe . The music is louder and absolutely vulgar . [I]_2342-matt gape as [I]_2342-matt listen to [some demented woman screaming about sucking cock on the dance floor]_{2055-some demented woman screaming about sucking cock on the dance floor} , while [a leather clad dominatrix type]_{2056-a leather clad dominatrix type} grinds [her]_{2055-some demented woman screaming about sucking cock on the dance floor} crotch up and down a black metal pole . [I]_2342-matt ’m not a prude , but this is way past [my]_2342-matt comprehension . Okay , [we]_2053-we ’re_[2342-matt] in [the adults department]_{2057-the adults department} , and [I]_2342-matt ’m feeling extremely uncomfortable . [I]_2342-matt look , very nervously , up at [Jesse]_327-jesse . [His]_327-jesse eyes are twinkling , [his]_327-jesse expression displaying an abundance of amusement . ‘_[2342-matt] Shocked ? ’ [he]_327-jesse asks . ‘_[2342-matt] -ish , ’ [I]_2342-matt admit . It ’s not so much the merchandise – it ’s the pierced , tattooed , virtually naked bird in the corner , wearing eight inch platforms and performing some highly illicit moves . That ’s what ’s got [me]_2342-matt scooping [my]_2342-matt tongue up from the floor . Holy fucking shit ! Does [Jesse]_327-jesse go for all this shit ? ‘_[2342-matt] It ’s a bit over the top , is n’t it ? ’ [he]_327-jesse muses , pulling [me]_2342-matt over to a glass cabinet . [I]_2342-matt exhale a sigh of relief at [his]_327-jesse statement . ‘_[2342-matt] Wow ! ’ [I]_2342-matt blurt , coming face to face with a huge , diamante embellished vibrator . ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t get excited , ’ [Jesse]_327-jesse whispers in [my]_2342-matt ear . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2058-you do n’t need one of those . ’ [I]_2342-matt gasp , and [he]_327-jesse laughs lightly in [my]_2342-matt ear . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . It looks like it could be fun . ’ [I]_832-ava respond , thoughtfully . It ’s [him]_2342-matt that lets out a shocked gasp this time . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt ’ll die before [you]_2058-you use one of those . ’ [He]_2342-matt flashes the offending object a disgusted look . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not sharing [you]_2058-you with [anyone]_2475-anyone or anything , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt pulls [me]_2342-matt away . ‘ Even battery operated devices . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt laugh . [He]_2342-matt would trample a vibrator ? [His]_2342-matt unreasonableness is off the scales . [He]_2342-matt looks down at [me]_2342-matt , giving [me]_2342-matt [his]_2342-matt roguish grin . [I]_2342-matt melt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt might stretch to some handcuffs , though . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt adds quietly . Oh ? Handcuffs ? ‘ This does n’t turn [you]_2342-matt on , does it ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt gesture around [the room]_{2350-the room} before tilting [my]_2342-matt head up to [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt looks at [me]_2342-matt with warm eyes , pulling [me]_2342-matt closer into [his]_2342-matt side to drop a tender kiss on [my]_2342-matt forehead . ‘ There ’s only one thing in [this world]_{827-this world} that turns [me]_2342-matt on . And [I]_2342-matt love [her]_3451-her in lace . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt melt with relief and turn [my]_2342-matt eyes up to the man [I]_2342-matt love so much it hurts . ‘ Take [me]_2342-matt [home]_281-home . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt gives [me]_2342-matt a half smile , landing a worshipful kiss on [my]_2342-matt lips . ‘ Are [you]_2342-matt making demands ? ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt asks against [my]_2342-matt lips . ‘ Yes . [You]_2342-matt ’ve not been inside [me]_2342-matt for too long . It ’s not acceptable . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt pulls back and watches [me]_2342-matt carefully , cogs flying , teeth chomping . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] right , it ’s not acceptable . ’ [He]_2342-matt resumes chomp and re - focuses [his]_2342-matt attention ahead of [us]_3453-us , leading [me]_2342-matt out of [the dungeon]_{3454-the dungeon} and back to [[his]_2342-matt car]_{2476-his car} . Chapter 34 [We]_3453-us burst through the door of [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} in a tangled embrace . [I]_2342-matt ’ve waited all day for this . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] about to explode with lust . [I]_2342-matt need [him]_2342-matt all over [me]_2342-matt , right now . [He]_2342-matt removes [my]_2342-matt bag from [my]_2342-matt shoulder , throwing it to the floor and grabs [me]_2342-matt around [my]_2342-matt waist so [I]_2342-matt straddle [his]_2342-matt hips . [He]_2342-matt walks [us]_2060-us into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , flicks a few buttons on the remote control and [my]_2342-matt ears are soon flooded with [Placebo]_1871-placebo ’s Running up [that Hill]_1871-placebo . This only serves to spike [my]_2342-matt desperation for [him]_2342-matt more . [He]_2342-matt ’s [a man of [his]_2342-matt word]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt want [you]_2342-matt in bed . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says urgently as [he]_2342-matt takes [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} at an alarming rate . [I]_2342-matt kick [my]_2342-matt ballet pumps off on the way up , in an attempt to reduce the time constraints of undressing when [we]_2060-us get [upstairs]_{2469-upstairs} . The door to [the master suite]_{694-the master suite} is kicked open , and [I]_2342-matt ’m placed on [my]_2342-matt feet at the end of the bed . ‘_[2342-matt] Turn around . ’ [he]_2342-matt says softly . [I]_2342-matt oblige , giving [him]_2342-matt access to the back of [my]_2342-matt dress . ‘_[2342-matt] Please tell [me]_2342-matt that [you]_2342-matt have lace on , ’ [he]_2342-matt pleads , unbuttoning [my]_2342-matt dress . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt need [you]_2342-matt in lace . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt have lace on . ’ [I]_2342-matt confirm quietly . [I]_2342-matt wear nothing but these days . [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_2342-matt exhale a long , satisfied breath as [he]_2342-matt pulls [my]_2342-matt dress over [my]_2342-matt head and let ’s it fall to the floor . [I]_2342-matt turn back around to face [him]_2342-matt , finding a lax mouth and hooded eyes . [He]_2342-matt ’s as desperate as [I]_2342-matt am . [He]_2342-matt reaches forward , slowly pulling down a cup on [my]_2342-matt bra , brushing [his]_2342-matt knuckles over [my]_2342-matt nipple . [My]_2342-matt heart starts a relentless sprit in [my]_2342-matt chest . [He]_2342-matt ’s in gentle mode – [I]_2342-matt love gentle [Jesse]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt watch [him]_2342-matt reach over [his]_2342-matt back and grasp [his]_2342-matt t - shirt , pulling it forward over [his]_2342-matt head . The leanness of [him]_2342-matt will never cease to have [me]_2342-matt panting . There ’s not a scrap of fat on [him]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Have [you]_327-jesse had a nice day ? ’ [he]_2342-matt asks softly . [He]_2342-matt does n’t touch [me]_327-jesse . [He]_2342-matt just stands in front of [me]_327-jesse removing [his]_2342-matt shoes and socks , while [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] mentally begging for [him]_327-jesse to hurry up . [He]_327-jesse wants to have a chat ? ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ve had a lovely day . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say , trying [my]_2342-matt hardest to ignore the passionate beats of the music surrounding [us]_2066-we , especially if [he]_327-jesse ’s set on chatting for a while . ‘ [Me]_327-jesse too , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse ’s all serious and pensive . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know what to make of it . ‘ Shall [we]_2066-we make it even better ? ’_[2342-matt] Oh God . ‘ Yes . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt breathe . ‘ Come here . ’_[2342-matt] There will be no countdown necessary this time . [I]_2342-matt step forward , placing [my]_2342-matt hands on [his]_327-jesse solid chest and tipping [my]_2342-matt face up to meet [his]_327-jesse stare . [We]_2066-we spend a few silent moments gazing at each other before [his]_327-jesse lips fall to [mine]_2342-matt , instantly catapulting [me]_2342-matt to [Central Jesse Cloud Nine]_{46-central jesse cloud nine} – [my]_2342-matt most favourite place in the universe . [I]_2342-matt moan , moving [my]_2342-matt hands up in [his]_327-jesse hair to hold on to [him]_327-jesse as [he]_327-jesse lifts [me]_2342-matt and secures [me]_2342-matt against [his]_327-jesse body , [our]_2066-we tongues lapping and circling slowly . [He]_327-jesse takes [me]_2342-matt to the bed , laying [me]_2342-matt beneath [him]_327-jesse , [my]_2342-matt hands placed above [my]_2342-matt head . [He]_327-jesse does n’t hold them there , but [I]_2342-matt know that ’s where [they]_2067-they ’ve got to stay . [He]_327-jesse releases [my]_2342-matt mouth and sits up , leaving [me]_2342-matt hot , dazed and panting short , sharp breaths . [He]_327-jesse looks down at [me]_2342-matt , the cogs going into overdrive in that beautiful mind of [his]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt want to know what [he]_327-jesse ’s thinking . [He]_327-jesse ’s been slipping in and out of thoughtfulness for days now . ‘ [I]_327-jesse could sit and watch [you]_3457-you writher under [my]_327-jesse touch all day . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse murmurs as [he]_327-jesse plays with [my]_2342-matt breast , yanking down the other cup and lavishing it with equal attention . [My]_2342-matt nipples twinge , being pulled and elongated by [his]_327-jesse fingers as [he]_327-jesse watches [himself]_327-jesse work [me]_2342-matt into a crazy wreck , [his]_327-jesse lips parted and moist . [I]_2342-matt want them on [me]_2342-matt now ! ‘ Stay where [you]_3458-you are . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse gets up from the bed pulling [my]_2342-matt knickers off as [he]_327-jesse goes . [I]_2342-matt whimper slightly at the loss of [his]_327-jesse weight from [me]_2342-matt . Where ’s [he]_327-jesse going ? [I]_2342-matt watch [him]_327-jesse slowly unbutton the fly on [his]_327-jesse jeans and drag them down [his]_327-jesse thighs , kicking them off calmly before drawing [his]_327-jesse boxer shorts down [his]_327-jesse legs . [I]_2342-matt clench [my]_2342-matt thighs together to control the dull pulse at [my]_2342-matt core that ’s just advanced into a steady throb at the sight of [him]_327-jesse bared naked and stunningly spectacular in front of [me]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse crawls back on the bed , parts [my]_2342-matt thighs and runs [his]_327-jesse tongue straight up the centre of [my]_2342-matt sex . ‘ Oh God , [God God]_2383-god ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt cover [my]_2342-matt face with [my]_2342-matt palms , sinking [my]_2342-matt teeth into [my]_2342-matt own hand as [he]_327-jesse plunges [his]_327-jesse tongue into [me]_2342-matt , withdrawing and circling slowly before dipping back in . [I]_2342-matt might pass out . [My]_2342-matt hips rotate in time to [his]_327-jesse tempo , seeking further friction , [his]_327-jesse palm spanning [my]_2342-matt stomach to keep [me]_2342-matt from bucking under [him]_327-jesse . Why did [I]_2342-matt ever run ? Of all the stupid things [I]_2342-matt could do , running away from [this man]_327-jesse would get the gold . [He]_327-jesse lifts [his]_327-jesse mouth and blows a cold stream of air across [my]_2342-matt flesh before returning to [his]_327-jesse inexorable pattern of torturous pleasure . When [my]_2342-matt head start thrashing and [I]_2342-matt make a grab for [his]_327-jesse hair , [he]_327-jesse increases the power and [I]_2342-matt detonate around [him]_327-jesse , pushing [my]_2342-matt hips up on reflex and shouting out on a rush of desperate breath . [He]_327-jesse closes [his]_327-jesse mouth around [my]_2342-matt core , literally sucking the pulses out of [me]_2342-matt as [I]_2342-matt shake like a leaf and [my]_2342-matt back arches to breaking point . [Jesse]_327-jesse moans in pure gratification . ‘ Hmmm , [I]_327-jesse can feel [you]_327-jesse throbbing against [my]_327-jesse tongue , [baby]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t even talk . The influence [he]_327-jesse has over [my]_2342-matt body is extraordinary . [I]_2342-matt do n’t think [I]_2342-matt ’m weak , [I]_2342-matt think [he]_327-jesse ’s too powerful – [he]_327-jesse definitely holds the power . [My]_2342-matt over worked heart starts to steady its beats , as [I]_2342-matt weave [my]_2342-matt fingers through [his]_327-jesse hair , relishing in [his]_327-jesse attentive mouth dropping tender kisses down the insides of [my]_2342-matt thighs , nibbling and sucking as [he]_327-jesse goes . [We]_3459-we ’re_[2342-matt] in tender lover mode , but for how long could be [anyone]_2475-anyone ’s guess . [I]_2342-matt ’m not going to try and kid [myself]_2342-matt that [I]_2342-matt ’ve heard the last of [my]_2342-matt contraventions from last night , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] quite content to lay here with [Jesse]_327-jesse nuzzling between [my]_2342-matt legs for as long as [he]_327-jesse ’ll allow . And that ’s another thing : it ’s always on [his]_327-jesse terms . [His]_327-jesse teeth clamp lightly onto [my]_2342-matt clitoris and [I]_2342-matt shudder , hearing [him]_327-jesse laugh lightly as [he]_327-jesse kisses [his]_327-jesse way up [my]_2342-matt body until [he]_327-jesse finds [my]_2342-matt lips , sharing [my]_2342-matt release with [me]_2342-matt , brushing [his]_327-jesse soft lips over [mine]_2342-matt as [he]_327-jesse gazes down at [me]_2342-matt . [My]_2342-matt arms find [his]_327-jesse shoulders and accept [his]_327-jesse weight as [he]_327-jesse buries [his]_327-jesse face in [my]_2342-matt neck and sighs , [his]_327-jesse raging arousal thumping lightly against [my]_2342-matt thigh . [I]_2342-matt shift [my]_2342-matt hips so it falls to [my]_2342-matt opening . ‘ [You]_327-jesse make [me]_327-jesse so crazy mad , [lady]_327-jesse . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse breathes into [my]_2342-matt neck , lifting [himself]_327-jesse and slowly driving into [me]_2342-matt on a stifled moan . [I]_2342-matt whimper , gripping every muscle around [him]_327-jesse . ‘ Please do n’t do that again . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_327-jesse reaches down and snakes [his]_327-jesse arm under [my]_2342-matt knee , pulling it up to drape [my]_2342-matt leg over [his]_327-jesse shoulder before bracing [his]_327-jesse upper body on [his]_327-jesse forearms . Slowly , [he]_327-jesse withdraws and lazily works [his]_327-jesse way in again , [his]_327-jesse eyes fixed on [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] sorry . ’ [I]_832-ava murmur , circling [my]_832-ava hands in [his]_327-jesse hair . [He]_327-jesse pulls back , driving forward on a moan . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , everything [I]_2342-matt do , [I]_2342-matt do to keep [you]_832-ava safe and to keep [my]_2342-matt sanity . Please listen to [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt moan on another deep , delightful plunge . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt will . ’ [I]_2342-matt confirm , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] aware [I]_2342-matt ’m raging with pleasure and , once again , [he]_327-jesse can make [me]_2342-matt say anything [he]_327-jesse wants . [I]_2342-matt do n’t need keeping safe – except , perhaps , from [him]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse gazes down at [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt need [you]_832-ava . ’ [He]_327-jesse looks despondent , throwing [me]_2342-matt out completely . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt really need [you]_832-ava , [baby]_327-jesse . ’ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] mindless on pleasure , totally swallowed up by [him]_327-jesse , but [he]_327-jesse ca n’t keep saying things like that – at least not without elaborating . [He]_327-jesse ’s making [my]_2342-matt brain a knotted mess of coded statements . Is [he]_327-jesse getting confused with needing and wanting ? [I]_2342-matt ’m past the wanting stage and only mildly afraid that [I]_2342-matt ’ve let [myself]_2342-matt fall into the realms of really needing [this man]_327-jesse ‘_[2342-matt] Why do [you]_832-ava need [me]_2342-matt ? ’ [My]_2342-matt voice is broken and husky . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt just do . Please , do n’t ever leave [me]_2342-matt . ’ [He]_327-jesse plunges forward again , enticing a collective moan . ‘_[2342-matt] Tell [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt all but groan , clenching at [his]_327-jesse shoulders , but ensuring [I]_2342-matt keep [my]_2342-matt eyes fixed on [his]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt need more than [his]_327-jesse confounding brainteasers . [These shallow waters]_{1661-these shallow waters} are becoming muddy as well . ‘_[2342-matt] Just accept that [I]_2342-matt need [you]_832-ava and kiss [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_832-ava look up at [him]_327-jesse , torn by [my]_832-ava body ’s need for [him]_327-jesse and [my]_832-ava brain ’s need for information . [He]_327-jesse ’s leisurely working [his]_327-jesse way in and out of [me]_832-ava at the most dreamy pace , gradually encouraging another buildup of pressure to begin . [I]_832-ava ca n’t control it . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , kiss [me]_2342-matt . ’ [My]_832-ava body wins . [I]_832-ava pull [his]_327-jesse face down to [mine]_832-ava , worshipping [his]_327-jesse wonderful mouth , as [he]_327-jesse sinks in and out , rolling [his]_327-jesse narrow hips each time . The mechanical tense of [my]_832-ava body sets in as [my]_832-ava pleasure peaks and [I]_832-ava start to wobble on the edge of release , short sharp breaths escaping as [I]_832-ava try and reign in [my]_832-ava impending climax . ‘_[832-ava] Not yet , [baby]_832-ava . ’ [He]_327-jesse warns softly , grinding hard on another drive forward . How does [he]_327-jesse know ? [I]_832-ava concentrate hard , but with this music and [Jesse]_327-jesse working [my]_832-ava mouth so delicately , [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] really struggling . [I]_2342-matt claw [my]_2342-matt fingers into [his]_832-ava shoulders , a wordless signal that [I]_2342-matt ’m tipping the edge . [He]_832-ava groans , biting [my]_2342-matt lip and jerking forward . ‘_[2342-matt] Together . ’ [he]_832-ava mumbles against [my]_832-ava mouth . [I]_832-ava nod [my]_832-ava acceptance as [he]_832-ava increases [his]_832-ava strokes and carries [us]_3461-we both closer to ultimate ecstasy , all the time maintaining [his]_832-ava controlled , accurate drives . ‘_[832-ava] Nearly there , [baby]_832-ava . ’ [he]_832-ava moans . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse ! ’ ‘_[327-jesse] Hold on , just hold on . ’ [he]_832-ava says calmly , plunging forward again , executing a painfully deep , delicious rotation of [his]_832-ava hips , pushing [himself]_832-ava forward as far as [he]_832-ava can get . [We]_3461-we both cry out . ‘_[327-jesse] Now , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [He]_832-ava withdraws , driving forward again , harder . [I]_832-ava let it go , feeling [him]_832-ava throb and jerk inside [me]_832-ava as [we]_3461-we swallow [each others]_{3462-each others} moans and both roll over , descending into a calm , unhurried fall into nothing . [My]_832-ava flesh trembles around [his]_832-ava beating cock and [my]_832-ava heart is hammering in [my]_832-ava chest . [I]_832-ava kiss [him]_832-ava adoringly as [he]_832-ava relaxes on [me]_832-ava , holding [my]_832-ava leg over [his]_832-ava shoulder and pushing [his]_832-ava body further into [me]_832-ava , releasing everything [he]_832-ava has , moaning in pure , raw pleasure . The unwelcome invasion of moisture creeps into [my]_832-ava eyes , and [I]_832-ava fight real hard to prevent [them]_{3462-each others} from falling and ruining the moment . [He]_832-ava continues to accept [my]_832-ava reverent kiss , meeting [my]_832-ava slow , sweeping tongue , stroke for stroke . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] trying to tell [him]_2072-he something with this kiss . [I]_2342-matt ’m desperate for [him]_2072-he to recognise it . [I]_2342-matt love [you]_2072-he ! [He]_2072-he pulls back , breaking [our]_3463-our kiss and frowns at [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] What ’s the matter ? ’ [he]_2072-he asks softly , [his]_2072-he voice full of concern . ‘_[2342-matt] Nothing , ’ [I]_2342-matt reply too quickly , mentally cursing [my]_2342-matt wretched hand for shifting on the back of [his]_2072-he head . [He]_2072-he searches [my]_2342-matt eyes , and [I]_2342-matt relent on a sigh . ‘_[2342-matt] What is this ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask . [He]_2072-he ’s still moving slowly inside [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] What ’s what ? ’ The confusion in [his]_2072-he voice is quite clear . [I]_2342-matt kick [myself]_2342-matt for opening [my]_2342-matt big mouth . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mean [me]_2342-matt and [you]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt feel stupid all of a sudden , wanting to retreat under the covers . [His]_2072-he eyes soften and [he]_2072-he swivels [his]_2072-he hips slowly . ‘_[2342-matt] This is just [you]_2342-matt and [me]_2342-matt . ’ [he]_2072-he says simply , like it really is that simple . [He]_2072-he kisses [me]_2342-matt gently , releasing [my]_2342-matt leg . ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_2342-matt okay ? ’ No , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] shit ! ‘ Fine , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt reply , more harshly than [I]_2342-matt intended . Is the man so thick skinned that [he]_327-jesse ca n’t see [a woman in love]_{2074-a woman in love} when [she]_{2074-a woman in love} ’s lying underneath [him]_327-jesse ? [You]_2342-matt and [me]_2342-matt , [me]_2342-matt and [you]_2342-matt , that much is bloody obvious . [I]_2342-matt do n’t see [anyone else]_{1027-anyone else} in bed with [us]_2076-us . [I]_2342-matt wriggle a little underneath [him]_327-jesse , and [he]_327-jesse narrows [his]_327-jesse sludgy eyes on [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_327-jesse need a wee . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt say in the most convincing I’m - not - pissed tone . [I]_2342-matt fail miserably . [He]_327-jesse latches onto [his]_327-jesse bottom lip , eyeing [me]_2342-matt suspiciously , but [he]_327-jesse pulls out , reluctantly freeing [me]_2342-matt from beneath [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt reach around to unclasp [my]_2342-matt bra before [I]_2342-matt make [my]_2342-matt way to [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} , shutting the door behind [me]_2342-matt . Why ca n’t [I]_2342-matt just say it ? [I]_2342-matt need to rid [my]_2342-matt mouth of the words that are causing [me]_2342-matt so much bloody agony . [I]_2342-matt mentally slap [my]_2342-matt sorry arse around [the luxurious bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} and flush [my]_2342-matt head down [the toilet]_{440-the toilet} before [I]_2342-matt go for a wee . [I]_2342-matt ’m such [a loser]_{360-a loser} . [He]_327-jesse must know how [I]_2342-matt feel . [I]_2342-matt drop to the feet of [this man]_327-jesse like [a slave]_{830-a slave} , giving [my]_2342-matt mind and body up to [him]_327-jesse at the drop of a hat . [I]_2342-matt do n’t believe , not for a moment , that [he]_327-jesse does n’t recognise all these signs . [I]_2342-matt finish up , presenting [my]_2342-matt naked form to the mirror . [I]_2342-matt stare at [my]_2342-matt reflection . [My]_2342-matt deep brown eyes are bright again , [my]_2342-matt olive skin fresh and clear . [I]_2342-matt brace [my]_2342-matt hands on the vanity unit , letting out a long sigh . This is not where [I]_2342-matt planned to be , but [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] here . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been ram - raided in every sense of the word by [this man]_327-jesse , and [I]_2342-matt ’m skirting precariously close to a broken heart . The thought of [my]_327-jesse life without [him]_327-jesse in it … [I]_327-jesse reach up and rub [my]_327-jesse chest . The very thought has [my]_327-jesse heart constricting . Even with all of [his]_327-jesse challenging ways , [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] hopelessly in love with [him]_327-jesse – it just is . [I]_2342-matt jump when the door opens and [he]_327-jesse strolls in , all naked and stunningly glorious . [He]_327-jesse positions [himself]_327-jesse behind [me]_2342-matt , resting [his]_327-jesse hands on [my]_2342-matt waist , [his]_327-jesse chin on [my]_2342-matt shoulder . [Our]_2080-we eyes lock together for the longest time . ‘ [I]_327-jesse thought [we]_2080-we made [friends]_2512-friends ? ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse questions on a slight pucker of [his]_327-jesse beautiful brow . ‘ [We]_2080-we did . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shrug . [I]_2342-matt had expected far more retribution than what [I]_2342-matt just received . Yes , [he]_327-jesse shredded the taboo dress , but all things considered , [he]_327-jesse ’s been quite reasonable today . It ’s quite funny that [I]_2342-matt can play down a clothes massacre as quite reasonable . ‘ Then , why are [you]_2081-you sulking ? ’_[2342-matt] Because [you]_2081-you ’re thick skinned ! ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not sulking . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say oversensitively . It ’s bloody obvious that [I]_2342-matt am . [He]_327-jesse shakes [his]_327-jesse head on a long tired sigh . What has [he]_327-jesse got to be tired about ? [He]_327-jesse circles [his]_327-jesse hips against [my]_2342-matt lower back . [He]_327-jesse ’s hard again . [He]_327-jesse ’s going to distract [me]_2342-matt from [my]_2342-matt sulks with [his]_327-jesse unreasonable , sexual manipulation . [I]_2342-matt know it . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [you]_832-ava ’re_{[2082-the most frustrating woman i ’ve ever met]} [the most frustrating woman [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever met]_{2082-the most frustrating woman i ’ve ever met} . ’ [he]_327-jesse grumbles . [My]_327-jesse eyes widen at [his]_327-jesse cheek . [He]_327-jesse thinks [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] frustrating ? [His]_327-jesse mouth clamps onto [my]_2342-matt neck , penetrating [me]_2342-matt with heat . ‘ Are [you]_832-ava holding out on [me]_327-jesse for a reason , [lady]_832-ava ? ’_[327-jesse] ‘ No . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt breathe . What ’s [he]_327-jesse talking about ? [I]_2342-matt never hold out on [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt give [myself]_2342-matt up to [him]_327-jesse , unreservedly and willing , every time . A little gentle persuasion is sometimes required , but [he]_327-jesse gets what [he]_327-jesse wants in the end . Holding out ? [He]_327-jesse reaches down and slowly starts rubbing [his]_327-jesse palm , up and down , between [my]_2342-matt thighs . It ’s the perfect amount of friction at the perfect tempo . [I]_2342-matt hold [his]_327-jesse eyes in the mirror . Fucking hell , [I]_2342-matt ’m gagging for [him]_327-jesse again . [I]_2342-matt drop [my]_2342-matt head back , giving [him]_327-jesse perfect access to [my]_2342-matt neck , [his]_327-jesse tongue working a firm , heavy trail up the column of [my]_2342-matt throat , circling at the sensitive hollow under [my]_2342-matt ear . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2083-you want it again ? ’ [he]_327-jesse teases in [my]_2342-matt ear as [he]_327-jesse works [my]_2342-matt core . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt need [you]_2083-you . ’ ‘_[236-baby] [Baby]_236-baby , those words make [me]_2342-matt so happy . Always ? ’ ‘_[236-baby] Always , ’ [I]_236-baby confirm . [He]_327-jesse growls [his]_327-jesse approval . ‘_[236-baby] Fuck , [I]_2342-matt need to be inside [you]_2083-you . ’ [He]_327-jesse yanks [my]_327-jesse hips forward and positions [himself]_327-jesse at [my]_327-jesse entrance before hammering into [me]_327-jesse on an ear piercing yell that echoes around [the vast bathroom]_{3467-the vast bathroom} . ‘_[327-jesse] Oh , shit , [Jesse]_327-jesse ! ’ [I]_327-jesse support [myself]_327-jesse on the vanity unit , bracing [myself]_327-jesse for the onslaught . [He]_327-jesse crashes forward . ‘_[327-jesse] Watch … [your]_2083-you … mouth ! ’ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] subjected to a relentless , desperate round of punishing blows as [he]_327-jesse yells like [a man possessed , yanking [me]_2342-matt back]_2084-mr , impaling [me]_2342-matt to the most excruciating depths . [My]_2342-matt head is spinning , [my]_2342-matt body abused , and [I]_2342-matt ’m out of [my]_2342-matt mind on the most intense , painful and pleasurable drug that is [Mr]_2084-mr Challenging [himself]_2084-mr . [I]_2342-matt drop [my]_2342-matt limp head . [Holy mother fucking GOD]_2383-god ! [His]_2084-mr hands move to [my]_2342-matt shoulders . ‘_[2342-matt] Look at [me]_2342-matt ! ’ [he]_2085-he yells , pounding [me]_2085-he with a purposeful blow at [his]_2085-he demand . [I]_2085-he draw in a sharp breath , drag [my]_2085-he heavy head up and find [him]_2085-he in the mirror , but it ’s hard to focus . [I]_2085-he ’m_[2085-he] being thundered forward , [my]_2342-matt arms struggling to hold [me]_2342-matt as [he]_2085-he slaps against [my]_2342-matt backside on continuous groans . [His]_2085-he frown line is so deep , [his]_2085-he neck muscles strained . [The demanding , brutal sex Lord]_{2086-the demanding , brutal sex lord} has returned . ‘ [You]_{2086-the demanding , brutal sex lord} ’ll never hold out on [me]_2085-he , will [you]_{2086-the demanding , brutal sex lord} , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[2085-he] [he]_2085-he barks through laboured grunts . ‘ No ! ’_[2085-he] ‘ Because [you]_{2086-the demanding , brutal sex lord} ’re_[2085-he] never leaving [me]_2342-matt , are [you]_2342-matt ? ’ Oh , here [we]_3468-we go again . All the coded sex talk scrambles [my]_2085-he brain more than the formidable assault [my]_2085-he body is under . ‘_[2085-he] Where the fuck am [I]_2342-matt going ? ’ [I]_2085-he scream in frustration on another merciless blow . ‘_[2085-he] Mouth ! ’ [he]_2085-he roars urgently . ‘_[832-ava] Say it , [Ava]_832-ava ! ’ ‘_[832-ava] Oh God ! ’ [I]_72-jesus cry . [My]_72-jesus knees buckle and [his]_2085-he hands move quickly to [my]_72-jesus waist , capturing [me]_72-jesus . [My]_72-jesus world goes completely silent as [I]_72-jesus ride out the vibration of waves that piston through [me]_72-jesus , so harshly , [I]_72-jesus think [my]_72-jesus heart might have ceased from shock . ‘_[72-jesus] [Jesus]_72-jesus ! ’ [He]_72-jesus falls to the floor , rolling onto [his]_72-jesus back so [I]_72-jesus ’m_[72-jesus] lay across [him]_72-jesus , [my]_2342-matt back to [his]_72-jesus front , [his]_72-jesus arms sprawled out at [his]_72-jesus side . [I]_2342-matt ’m being heaved up and down on top of [him]_72-jesus . [My]_2342-matt mind is a foggy , churned up mess and [my]_2342-matt poor body is wondering what the hell just happened . That was a sense fuck if ever there was one . But for what purpose ? ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m fu … ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt snap [my]_2342-matt mouth shut before [I]_2342-matt earn [myself]_2342-matt another scorn , but [he]_72-jesus still lifts an arm and finds [my]_2342-matt hip to have a little dig ‘ Hey ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt complain . [I]_2342-matt suppressed the urge . It ’s an improvement . [He]_72-jesus engulfs [me]_2342-matt in [his]_72-jesus arms and inhales into [my]_2342-matt neck . ‘ [You]_72-jesus did n’t say it . ’_[72-jesus] ‘ What ? That [I]_72-jesus wo n’t leave [you]_72-jesus ? [I]_72-jesus wo n’t leave [you]_72-jesus . Happy ? ’_[72-jesus] ‘ Yes , [I]_72-jesus am , but that ’s not what [I]_72-jesus meant . ’_[72-jesus] ‘ What did [you]_72-jesus mean ? ’_[72-jesus] [He]_72-jesus makes a meal of exhaling deeply into [my]_2342-matt ear . ‘ Never mind , want to go again ? ’_[72-jesus] [I]_2342-matt splutter on a laboured breath . [He]_72-jesus ’s joking , right ? [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt wo n’t be able to say no – for a start , [he]_72-jesus wo n’t let [me]_2342-matt , but seriously ? [I]_2342-matt feel the slight jerk of a hushed chuckle under [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Absolutely , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t get enough of [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt keep [my]_2342-matt voice steady and serious . [He]_72-jesus freezes under [me]_2342-matt , but then increases [his]_72-jesus vice hold on [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_72-jesus ’m_[72-jesus] glad . [I]_2342-matt feel exactly the same . But [my]_2342-matt heart has been through enough in the last twenty four hours , what with [your]_2087-your defiance and lack of obedience . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know how much more it can take . ’ There [we]_3469-we are ; lack of obedience . [Control freak]_{1244-control freak} ! ‘_[2342-matt] It must be [your]_2087-your age . ’ [I]_65-ha mutter . ‘_[65-ha] Hey , [lady]_65-ha , ’ [He]_72-jesus rolls [us]_3469-we over so [I]_65-ha ’m_[65-ha] face down on the bathroom floor and [he]_72-jesus ’s blanketing [me]_2342-matt . [He]_72-jesus bites [my]_2342-matt ear , blowing hot breath into it . ‘ [My]_72-jesus age has nothing to do with it . ’_[72-jesus] [He]_72-jesus chomps at [my]_2342-matt lobe a bit more as [I]_2342-matt writher under [him]_72-jesus . ‘ It ’s [you]_65-ha ! ’_[72-jesus] [he]_72-jesus says accusingly , grabbing [my]_2342-matt hip . ‘ No ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scream , making a futile attempt to free [myself]_2342-matt . ‘ Okay , [I]_2342-matt give in ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_72-jesus wish [you]_65-ha fucking would . ’_[72-jesus] [he]_72-jesus grumbles , releasing [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [Old man]_72-jesus , ’_[72-jesus] [I]_2342-matt mutter on a grin . [I]_2342-matt ’m hoofed to [my]_2342-matt feet in lightning speed and pushed up the wall , [my]_2342-matt arms pinned above [my]_2342-matt head . [I]_2342-matt purse [my]_2342-matt lips to suppress [my]_2342-matt laugh . [He]_72-jesus narrows [his]_72-jesus eyes fiercely . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt prefer [God]_2383-god . ’ [he]_72-jesus notifies [me]_65-ha , hitting [me]_65-ha with a heart stopping kiss , thrusting [his]_72-jesus body against [mine]_65-ha and pushing [me]_65-ha up the wall . ‘_[65-ha] [You]_65-ha can be [[my]_2342-matt God]_2383-god . ’ ‘_[65-ha] [I]_2342-matt really ca n’t get enough of [you]_65-ha , [lady]_65-ha . ’ [I]_65-ha smile . ‘_[65-ha] Good . ’ ‘_[65-ha] [You]_65-ha ’re [my]_65-ha ultimate temptress . ’_[65-ha] [He]_65-ha swaths [my]_2342-matt face with [his]_65-ha lips , and [I]_2342-matt sigh against [him]_65-ha . ‘ Are [you]_65-ha hungry ? ’_[65-ha] [he]_65-ha asks . ‘ Yes . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m famished , actually . [He]_65-ha picks [me]_2342-matt up and walks over to [the vanity unit]_{3471-the vanity unit} , placing [me]_2342-matt gently down . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve fucked [you]_65-ha , and now [I]_2342-matt ’m going to feed [you]_65-ha . ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt brow knits at [his]_65-ha tactlessness . Why not , made love to [me]_2342-matt and make [me]_2342-matt a meal ? [He]_65-ha leaves [me]_2342-matt on [the unit]_{2926-the unit} to turn the shower on . [I]_2342-matt fall into a daydream , just watching the muscles of [his]_65-ha back ripple with [his]_65-ha movements . ‘ In [you]_65-ha get . ’_[65-ha] [He]_65-ha holds [his]_65-ha hand out . [I]_2342-matt slide off [the unit]_{2926-the unit} , taking [his]_65-ha hand and letting [him]_65-ha lead [me]_2342-matt into the shower . ‘ It kills [me]_65-ha to do this . ’_[65-ha] [he]_65-ha sighs , taking the natural sponge . ‘ What ? ’_[65-ha] [I]_2342-matt hold [his]_65-ha shoulder as [he]_65-ha kneels in front of [me]_2342-matt , working up [my]_2342-matt legs to the insides of [my]_2342-matt thighs in slow , soapy circles . ‘ [I]_65-ha hate washing [myself]_65-ha off of [you]_65-ha . ’_[65-ha] [His]_65-ha face is sorrowful . [He]_65-ha really means it ? [I]_2342-matt stand , letting [him]_65-ha clean all the traces of [him]_65-ha away from [me]_2342-matt , working carefully , lovingly and flicking [me]_2342-matt small smiles when [he]_65-ha catches [me]_2342-matt watching [him]_65-ha . [My]_2342-matt hair is shampooed and conditioned , and [I]_2342-matt take the sponge to return the favour . It takes [me]_2342-matt a lot longer with [his]_65-ha body being a lot bigger than [mine]_2342-matt , [my]_2342-matt task hindered further by [my]_2342-matt need to kiss every square inch of [him]_65-ha . [He]_65-ha lets [me]_2342-matt have [my]_2342-matt way , smiling down at [me]_2342-matt and squirting more shower gel on the sponge when [I]_2342-matt hold it out . As normal , [I]_2342-matt linger over [his]_65-ha scar , hoping [he]_65-ha will open up to [me]_2342-matt , but [he]_65-ha does n’t … again . One day , [I]_2342-matt tell [myself]_2342-matt – when , [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . Perhaps this will all be over before [I]_2342-matt ever do know . The thought depresses [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt never want this to be over . [I]_2342-matt ’m wrapped up in a soft , white towel , showered with light kisses all over [my]_2342-matt face before [he]_65-ha tucks [me]_2342-matt under [his]_65-ha arm and walks [us]_3472-us into [the bedroom]_{1993-the wardrobe} . ‘_[2342-matt] Put lace on . ’ [he]_65-ha says softly , making [his]_65-ha way into [the wardrobe]_{1993-the wardrobe} and appearing a few minutes later in some green , striped lounge pants . [I]_2342-matt smile . [I]_2342-matt love [him]_65-ha in sludgy green . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll meet [you]_2342-matt in [the kitchen]_{1993-the wardrobe} . Deal ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Deal , ’ [I]_2342-matt confirm quietly . [He]_65-ha winks , striding out of [the bedroom]_{1993-the wardrobe} , leaving [me]_2342-matt to find [my]_2342-matt lace . [I]_2342-matt was actually thinking more along the lines of big knickers and a cosy sweatshirt , but [he]_65-ha ’s in too good a mood to break it over such a minor detail . Where would [my]_2342-matt underwear be , anyway ? And would [Kate]_2557-kate have packed lace ? [I]_2342-matt look around [the room]_{1993-the wardrobe} for any signs of [my]_2342-matt bags , seeing nothing . Wandering into [the wardrobe]_{1993-the wardrobe} , [I]_2342-matt only find [my]_2342-matt dresses and shoes . [He]_2342-matt said a few days . There ’s more than a few days ’_[2342-matt] worth of clothes in [here]_314-here , all hanging neatly in [their]_2093-their own little space . [I]_2342-matt smile at the thought of [Jesse]_327-jesse making a little gap for [me]_2342-matt in [his]_327-jesse vast wardrobe . Did [he]_327-jesse unpack [my]_2342-matt things ? [I]_2342-matt pad back out to one of the two chests of drawers [I]_2342-matt had made in [Italy]_7-italy . Pulling open the first drawer , [I]_2342-matt find three neat piles of boxer shorts , in black , white and grey – all [Armani]_256-armani . [They]_2094-they look brand new . [I]_2342-matt work [my]_2342-matt way to the next drawer , finding dress socks . Does [he]_327-jesse have them ironed ? [I]_2342-matt open another to discover belts – all coiled neatly , in every shade of black and brown leather [you]_2095-you could imagine . [He]_327-jesse ’s a neat freak . Oh , this is bad news ! [I]_2342-matt ’m shockingly untidy at [home]_281-home . [I]_2342-matt shut the drawer , opening the last one , but all [I]_2342-matt find are sports socks and various caps . [I]_2342-matt proceed to open every drawer on the other chest – all occupied with an array of running shorts and vests . Giving up and with [my]_2342-matt towel still wrapped around [me]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt make [my]_2342-matt way [downstairs]_{2323-downstairs} to [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , finding [Jesse]_327-jesse with [his]_327-jesse head in the fridge . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t find [my]_2342-matt stuff . ’ [I]_2342-matt inform the fridge door . [His]_327-jesse head pops up from behind the fridge , [his]_327-jesse eyes running up and down [my]_2342-matt towel clad body . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ll take naked . ’ [he]_327-jesse says , shutting the door and sauntering over to [me]_181-cathy with a jar of peanut butter . ‘_[181-cathy] [Cathy]_181-cathy ’s off and the fridge is empty . [I]_2342-matt ’ll order in , what do [you]_2342-matt fancy ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt , ’ [I]_2342-matt grin . [He]_327-jesse smiles , reaches forward and whips the towel off , throwing it to the side and running [his]_327-jesse appreciative gaze down [my]_2342-matt naked body . ‘_[2342-matt] [[Your]_2342-matt God]_{1995-your god} needs to feed [his]_{1995-your god} temptress . ’ [He]_{1995-your god} flashes [his]_{1995-your god} dancing eyes to [mine]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] The rest of [your]_2342-matt stuff is in [that dirty great big wooden truck]_{2097-that dirty great big wooden truck} that [you]_2342-matt had dumped in [[my]_2342-matt bedroom]_{2495-my bedroom} . What do [you]_2342-matt want to eat ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ignore [him]_{1995-your god} and shrug . [I]_2342-matt could eat anything . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m easy . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt know , but what do [you]_2342-matt want to eat ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt must stop saying that . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] only easy with [you]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt grumble . [He]_{1995-your god} thinks [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] easy ? ‘ [You]_2342-matt fucking better be . Now , tell [me]_2342-matt , what do [you]_2342-matt want to eat ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt like anything , [you]_2342-matt choose . What time is it , anyway ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’ve lost all concept of time . In fact , [I]_2342-matt lose all concept of everything when [I]_2342-matt ’m with [him]_{1995-your god} . ‘_[2342-matt] Seven , go and dry [your]_2342-matt hair before [I]_2342-matt abandon dinner and take [you]_2342-matt again . ’ [He]_{1995-your god} turns [me]_2099-i around , smacking [my]_2099-i backside to send [me]_2099-i on [my]_2099-i way . [I]_2099-i take [my]_2099-i naked body back up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} to fulfill [his]_{1995-your god} instructions . When [I]_2099-i reach the top and take a left to [the Master suite]_{694-the master suite} , [I]_2099-i glance down and see [Jesse]_327-jesse stood by the archway to [the kitchen]_{535-the bedroom} , quietly watching [me]_2099-i . [I]_2099-i blow [him]_{1995-your god} a kiss as [I]_2099-i disappear into [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} , just catching a glimpse of [his]_{1995-your god} knee trembling smile as [he]_{1995-your god} vanishes from view . Forty five minutes later , [my]_2099-i hair ’s received the blow - dry it deserves , [I]_2099-i ’ve cleansed , toned and moisturised , and [I]_2099-i ’ve got a clean set of lace underwear on . [Kate]_2557-kate ’s forgotten to pack any comfy chill out clothes – of all the things [she]_2557-kate could forget . But then , [Jesse]_327-jesse did hijack [her]_2557-kate at some [God]_2383-god forsaken hour this morning , so [she]_2557-kate probably just shoved in whatever [she]_2557-kate could lay [her]_2557-kate hands on . [I]_2099-i have [my]_2099-i new Thai fisherman pants but no top . [I]_2099-i go to [the wardrobe]_{1993-the wardrobe} and grab a white shirt . [I]_2099-i do n’t pick the most expensive one this time , although [I]_2099-i ’m_[2099-i] sure [they]_2099-i ’re all pretty costly . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt was just coming to find [you]_2100-you . ’ [He]_2342-matt pauses from forking various dishes onto two plates . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt like [your]_2100-you shirt . ’ ‘_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate did n’t pack [me]_2342-matt any slobby clothes . ’ ‘_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate did n’t ? ’ [He]_2342-matt raises an eyebrow , and [I]_2557-kate know instantly , [Kate]_2557-kate did pack [me]_2557-kate some slobby clothes . That or [she]_2557-kate did n’t pack at all – [I]_2557-kate suspect it ’s the latter . ‘_[2557-kate] Where do [you]_2100-you want to eat ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m e … ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt snap [my]_2342-matt mouth shut on a shrug . ‘ Only for [me]_2342-matt , yes ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt grins , shoving a bottle of water under [his]_2342-matt arm and picking up the plates . ‘ [We]_3480-we ’ll slum it on the sofa . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt leads [me]_2342-matt into the colossal open space and nods at the gigantic sofa . [I]_2342-matt sit in the corner section , accepting the plate [he]_2342-matt hands [me]_2342-matt . It smells delicious and it ’s Chinese . Perfect . The doors on the massive television cabinet start sliding across , revealing the biggest , frameless , flat screen T.V [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever laid [my]_2342-matt eyes on . ‘ Do [you]_2342-matt want to watch television or would [you]_2342-matt prefer music and conversation ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt looks at [me]_2342-matt on a small smile . [My]_2342-matt fork is hanging out of [my]_2342-matt mouth . [I]_2342-matt did n’t realise how hungry [I]_2342-matt was . [I]_2342-matt chew and swallow as soon as [I]_2342-matt can . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll take music and conversation , please . ’_[2342-matt] That was an easy choice . [He]_2342-matt nods , like [he]_2342-matt knew that would be [my]_2342-matt answer , and the next thing [I]_2342-matt know , [the room]_{2350-the room} is swamped in the calming tones of [Mumford]_257-mumford and [Sons]_258-sons . This is a surprise . [I]_2342-matt cross [my]_2342-matt legs and sit back . [I]_2342-matt made a good choice with this sofa . ‘ Good ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt glance over and find [him]_2342-matt facing [me]_2342-matt , one knee up and [his]_2342-matt arm resting on the back of the sofa holding [his]_2342-matt plate . ‘ Very , [you]_2342-matt do n’t cook ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile around [my]_2342-matt fork . ‘ Why , [Mr Ward]_327-jesse , is that something [you]_2342-matt do n’t do well ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt ca n’t be amazing at everything . ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt says , completely straight faced , studying [me]_2342-matt closely . [He]_2342-matt really is [an over - confident arse]_{2102-an over - confident arse} . ‘ [[Your]_2342-matt housekeeper]_{3481-your housekeeper} cooks for [you]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ If [I]_2342-matt ask [her]_{3481-your housekeeper} to , but most of the time [I]_2342-matt eat at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt suppose it makes sense that [he]_2342-matt ’d take advantage of the lovely food at [his]_2342-matt disposal . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt would . ‘ How old are [you]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt pauses with [his]_2342-matt fork midway to [his]_2342-matt mouth . ‘ Thirty - ish , ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt takes [his]_2342-matt forkful of food , watching [me]_2342-matt as [he]_2342-matt chews . ‘ -ish , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mouth . ‘ Yes , [ish]_2342-matt , ’_[2342-matt] A smile plays on the corners of [his]_2342-matt lips . [I]_2342-matt return to [my]_2342-matt food , not in the least bit bothered by [his]_2342-matt vague answer . [I]_2342-matt ’ll keep asking ; [he]_2342-matt ’ll keep evading . Maybe [I]_2342-matt should try with [my]_2342-matt own versions of persuasion – maybe a truth fuck or a countdown ? What would [I]_2342-matt do to [him]_2342-matt on zero ? [I]_2342-matt drift into musing over exactly what [I]_2342-matt could do on zero , between mouthfuls of [my]_2342-matt Chinese dinner . [I]_2342-matt can think of plenty , but nothing [I]_2342-matt could carry out with ease . [He]_2342-matt ’d overpower [me]_2342-matt , very easily . The countdown is off the menu , so it ’s a truth fuck then . [I]_2342-matt need to invent the truth fuck . What could [I]_2342-matt do ? ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look up , finding [Jesse]_327-jesse and [his]_327-jesse frown line studying [me]_2342-matt . ‘ Yes ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Dreaming ? ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse asks , [his]_327-jesse voice laced with concern . ‘ Sorry . ’_[327-jesse] [I]_2342-matt put [my]_2342-matt fork down . ‘ [I]_2342-matt was miles away . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_2342-matt were , ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse takes [my]_2342-matt plate and slides it onto the coffee table . ‘ Where were [you]_2342-matt ? ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse reaches over to pull [me]_2342-matt into [his]_327-jesse lap . [I]_2342-matt snuggle happily . ‘ Nowhere . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse shifts up the sofa , taking [my]_2342-matt place in the corner , positioning [me]_2342-matt under [his]_327-jesse arm . [I]_2342-matt rest [my]_2342-matt cheek on [his]_327-jesse bare chest , throw [my]_2342-matt leg over [his]_327-jesse groin and inhale [him]_327-jesse in [his]_327-jesse entire fresh water splendor . [I]_2342-matt sigh , letting the soft music and the feel of [Jesse]_327-jesse ease [me]_2342-matt into a peaceful rest . ‘ [I]_327-jesse love having [you]_327-jesse here . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse says quietly , playing with a lock of [my]_2342-matt hair . [I]_2342-matt really love being here too , but not as a puppet . Would it always be like this ? [I]_2342-matt could do exactly this , day in , day out – it ’s been a lovely day . But could [I]_2342-matt live with the controlling , unreasonable side of [him]_327-jesse ? [I]_2342-matt run [my]_2342-matt finger along the line of [his]_327-jesse scar . ‘ [I]_2342-matt love being here too . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt whisper . [I]_2342-matt really do , especially when [he]_327-jesse ’s like this . ‘ Good . So [you]_327-jesse ’ll stay ? ’_[327-jesse] What ? Tonight ? ‘ Yes . Tell [me]_327-jesse how [you]_327-jesse got this . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse reaches down , clasping [my]_2342-matt hand to prevent any further touching of [the area]_{2103-the area} . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_327-jesse really do n’t like talking about it . ’_[327-jesse] Oh ? ‘ [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] sorry . ’ [I]_327-jesse feel bad . That was a plea . Something terrible happened to [him]_327-jesse , and it makes [me]_327-jesse feel sick to know that [he]_327-jesse was hurt in some way . [He]_327-jesse pulls [my]_327-jesse hand up to [his]_327-jesse face and kisses [my]_327-jesse palm . ‘_[327-jesse] Please , do n’t be . It ’s not something that ’s important to the here and now . Dragging up [my]_2342-matt past serves no purpose other than to remind [me]_2342-matt of it . ’ [His]_327-jesse past ? So , [he]_327-jesse has a past ? Well , [everyone]_282-everyone has a past , but the way [he]_327-jesse said it and the fact that [we]_3484-we ’re_[327-jesse] talking about a vicious scar here makes [me]_2342-matt really nervous . [I]_2342-matt look up at [him]_2104-him . ‘ What did [you]_2105-you mean when [you]_2105-you said that things are easier to bear when [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] here ? ’ [He]_327-jesse looks down and places [his]_327-jesse hand on the back of [my]_2342-matt head , pushing [my]_2342-matt cheek back down to [his]_327-jesse chest . ‘_[2342-matt] It means [I]_2342-matt like having [you]_2105-you around . ’ [His]_327-jesse tone is dismissive . [I]_2342-matt do n’t believe [him]_327-jesse for a minute , but [I]_2342-matt leave it anyway . Does it matter ? [I]_2342-matt push [my]_2342-matt lips into the void between [his]_327-jesse pecs , nuzzling into [him]_327-jesse , while giving [myself]_2342-matt a mental ticking off . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] basking in the sun on [Central Jesse Cloud Nine]_{46-central jesse cloud nine} , and [I]_2342-matt ’m loving every minute of it , until the need for another countdown or a sense fuck . And it will come – [I]_2342-matt have no doubt . Chapter 35 [I]_2342-matt wake abruptly and sit up in bed . [I]_2342-matt feel refreshed , revitalised and rested . This bed is way too comfortable . Getting back in [mine]_2342-matt after a few nights here is going to be a bit of a come down . The only thing that ’s missing is [Jesse]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt peek under the covers , finding [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] still in [my]_2342-matt underwear , but the shirt has been removed . [I]_2342-matt do n’t remember coming to bed . [I]_2342-matt sit quietly for a few moments , listening to a constant whirring sound , accompanied by a consistent thud , thud , thud in the distance . What is that ? [I]_2342-matt make the long journey to the edge of the bed and out onto the landing , where the sounds are slightly louder but still muffled . [I]_2342-matt scan the space below , seeing no sign of [Jesse]_327-jesse . Deciding [he]_327-jesse must be in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , [I]_2342-matt make [my]_2342-matt way down [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , but as [I]_2342-matt approach the archway into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , [I]_2342-matt stop and back track . [I]_2342-matt look through the glass door to [the gym]_{2108-the gym} , set on an angle just before [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , and see [Jesse]_327-jesse in a pair of running shorts , going hell for leather on [the treadmill]_{2109-the treadmill} . Well , that explains the strange distant noise . [I]_2342-matt watch [him]_327-jesse running with [his]_327-jesse back to [me]_2342-matt , [his]_327-jesse solid expanse of skin shimmering with sweat beads as [he]_327-jesse watches the sports news on the suspended T.V in front of [him]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt leave [him]_327-jesse be . [I]_2342-matt ’ve already disturbed one run . [I]_2342-matt make [my]_2342-matt way into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} to fill the kettle and go about making [myself]_2342-matt a coffee . It ’s not [Starbucks]_12-starbucks , but it ’ll do . The familiar sound of [my]_2342-matt phones ring tone fills [the room]_{2349-the kitchen} , and [I]_2342-matt look across [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} to see it charging on [the worktop]_{2614-the worktop} . [I]_2342-matt scoop it up and disconnect it from [the charger]_{2111-the charger} . It ’s [[my]_2342-matt mother]_{2026-my mother} . [I]_2342-matt ’m promptly reminded of [her]_{2026-my mother} call to [me]_577-mum yesterday – the one that [I]_577-mum ’ve not yet returned and really , really do n’t want to . [My]_577-mum wide awake , good mood is instantly drowned out . ‘_[577-mum] Hi , [Mum]_577-mum . ’ [I]_577-mum greet cheerfully , screwing [my]_577-mum face up in apprehension . Here come the twenty questions . ‘_[577-mum] Oh , [you]_577-mum ’re alive . [Joseph]_95-joseph , cancel the search party . [I]_2342-matt ’ve found [her]_{2026-my mother} ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes at [[my]_2342-matt mum]_577-mum ’s idea of funny . Obviously , [she]_{2026-my mother} was expecting a call back before now . ‘ Point taken . What did [Matt]_2342-matt want ? ’_{[2026-my mother]} ‘ [I]_{2026-my mother} have no idea . [The man]_2342-matt never called [us]_3486-us once when [you]_3487-you were together . [He]_2342-matt asked how [we]_3486-us were , made small talk , [you]_3487-you know . It was all very strange . Why is [he]_2342-matt calling [us]_3486-us , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_{[2026-my mother]} ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t know , [Mum]_577-mum . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt moan tiredly , but [I]_2342-matt suspect [I]_2342-matt do . [He]_2113-he ’s on a worming mission . ‘ [He]_2113-he mentioned [another man]_{3196-another man} . ’_[2113-he] ‘ [He]_2113-he did ? ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt tone is high pitched , a complete give away to [my]_2342-matt surprise and probably [my]_2342-matt guilt too . Damn [you]_2114-you , [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse , for intercepting [my]_2342-matt phone . It would have been easier to brush off [Matt]_2342-matt ’s tales if [I]_2342-matt did n’t have to explain about [the mystery man who answered [my]_2342-matt phone yesterday]_2342-matt . ‘ Yes , [he]_2342-matt said [you]_2114-you were seeing [someone else]_587-someone . So soon , [Ava]_832-ava . Really ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [Mum]_577-mum , [I]_587-someone ’m_{[587-someone]} not seeing [someone else]_587-someone . ’ [I]_2342-matt do a quick check over [my]_2342-matt shoulder to make sure [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] still alone . [I]_2342-matt ’m doing more than seeing [someone]_587-someone . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] in love with [someone]_587-someone . ‘ Who was [that man who answered [your]_2116-you phone]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2116-you told [you]_2116-you , just [a friend]_{2645-a friend} . ’_[2116-you] Please drop it ! ‘ Good . [You]_2116-you ’re_[2116-you] in [your]_2116-you mid - twenties , in [London Town]_{52-london town} and fresh out of a shitty relationship . Do n’t be falling into the arms of [the first man]_327-jesse that shows [you]_2116-you a bit of attention . ’ [I]_327-jesse blush scarlet on the spot , even though [she]_327-jesse ca n’t see [me]_327-jesse . [I]_327-jesse do n’t think [you]_2116-you could describe what [this man]_327-jesse gives [me]_327-jesse as “ a bit of attention ” . At only forty seven [herself]_327-jesse and having had [Dan]_93-dan at just eighteen and [me]_327-jesse at twenty one , [she]_327-jesse missed out on all the benefits of being young in [London]_5-london . [She]_327-jesse ’s now retired in [Newquay]_19-newquay before the age of fifty . [I]_327-jesse know [she]_327-jesse wo n’t be pleased if [she]_327-jesse finds out [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] being swallowed up in lust . ‘ [I]_327-jesse wo n’t , [Mum]_577-mum . [I]_327-jesse ’m_[327-jesse] just having lots of fun , ’ [I]_2118-i assure [her]_327-jesse . [I]_2118-i ’m_[2118-i] having fun all right . Just not the sort of fun that [she]_2118-i has in mind . ‘ How ’s [Dad]_581-dad ? ’_[2118-i] ‘ Oh , [you]_581-dad know . Golf mad , [badminton mad , cricket mad]_{3490-badminton mad , cricket mad} . [He]_581-dad has to keep on the go or [he]_581-dad ’ll go mad . ’_[2118-i] ‘ It ’s better than sitting on [his]_581-dad backside all day , though . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say , collecting a mug from the cupboard . [I]_2342-matt make [my]_2342-matt way to the fridge . ‘ [He]_581-dad made such a fuss about leaving [the city]_{2326-the city} , but [I]_2342-matt knew [he]_581-dad would be dead in a few years if [I]_2342-matt did n’t get [him]_581-dad out . Now [I]_2342-matt ca n’t tie [him]_581-dad down for anything . [He]_581-dad ’s always got something happening . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt open the fridge – no milk . ‘ That ’s good , is n’t it ? Keeping [him]_581-dad active ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt sit [myself]_2342-matt on the bar stool without [my]_2342-matt needed coffee . ‘ Oh , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not complaining . [He]_2119-he ’s lost a few pounds too . ’ ‘_[2119-he] How much ? ’ This is good . [Everyone]_282-everyone always said [Dad]_581-dad was [a walking heart attack candidate]_{3493-a walking heart attack candidate} , with [his]_581-dad weight , love of a few too many pints and a stressful job . As it turns out , [everyone]_282-everyone was right . ‘_[2119-he] Just over a stone , ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Wow , [I]_2342-matt ’m impressed . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No more than [me]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . So , what have [you]_832-ava got to report ? ’_[2342-matt] Loads ! ‘ Nothing much , [I]_2342-matt ’ve been stacked out at work . [I]_2342-matt secured the next project from [the developer of [Lusso]_66-lusso]_{1072-the developer of lusso} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt need to talk work . [I]_2342-matt ’ll have no hair left if [she]_2120-she starts prying into [my]_2342-matt social life . ‘ Brilliant ! [I]_2120-she was showing [Sue]_97-sue the photos on the internet . [The penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} ! ’_[2120-she] [she]_2120-she sings . Yes , [I]_2342-matt ’m sat in it now . ‘_[2342-matt] Yeah , ’ [I]_2342-matt need some wine . ‘_[2342-matt] Can [you]_2121-you imagine living in such luxury ? [[Your]_2121-you Dad]_581-dad and [I]_2342-matt are not short of a few , but that ’s a whole other level of wealth . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] It is , ’ [I]_2342-matt agree . Okay , the subject of work has n’t gone as [I]_2342-matt planned . ‘_[2342-matt] What time does [Dan]_93-dan land tomorrow ? ’ [I]_93-dan blurt to divert the conversation . ‘_[93-dan] Nine in the morning . Are [you]_2121-you coming down with [him]_93-dan ? ’ [I]_2342-matt flop forward onto [the worktop]_{2614-the worktop} . [I]_2342-matt ’ve hardly given [Dan]_93-dan ’s impending arrival a second thought . What with all the crazy shit going on , [I]_2342-matt ’ve not had a chance . [I]_2342-matt feel guilty all of a sudden . [I]_2342-matt ’ve not seen [him]_93-dan for six months . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t think so , [Mum]_577-mum . [I]_2342-matt ’m just so busy . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt whine , mentally pleading for [her]_577-mum to understand . ‘ That ’s disappointing , but [I]_577-mum understand . Maybe [Dad]_581-dad and [I]_577-mum could come up to see [you]_581-dad when [you]_581-dad ’ve sorted a place of [your]_581-dad own ? ’_[577-mum] [She]_577-mum ’s hinting that [I]_2342-matt need to pull [my]_2342-matt finger out . [I]_2342-matt ’ve done nothing in that area of [my]_2342-matt life . ‘ That would be really good . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t fake [my]_2342-matt enthusiasm . [I]_2342-matt would love for [Mum]_577-mum and [Dad]_581-dad to come back to [London]_5-london for a visit . [They]_2123-they have n’t been back since [they]_2123-they left , and [I]_2342-matt know it ’s because [they]_2123-they both secretly worry [they]_2123-they ’ll want to move back to [the hustle]_{2124-the hustle} and bustle . ‘ Wonderful . [I]_2123-they ’ll speak to [[your]_2123-they Dad]_581-dad . [I]_2123-they ’d better go . Send [my]_2123-they love to [Kate]_2557-kate . ’_[2123-they] ‘ [I]_2342-matt will , [I]_2342-matt ’ll ring next week when [Dan]_93-dan ’s there . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt add quickly before [she]_577-mum hangs up . ‘ [Lovely]_430-lovely . Take care , [darling]_430-lovely . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Bye , [Mum]_577-mum . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt slide [my]_2342-matt phone across the counter and drop [my]_2342-matt head in [my]_2342-matt hands . If only [she]_577-mum knew . [[My]_2342-matt Dad]_{578-my dad} would probably have another heart attack if [he]_{578-my dad} found out about [my]_2342-matt current state of affairs , and [[my]_2342-matt Mum]_{578-my dad} would be moving [me]_2342-matt down to [Newquay]_19-newquay . The only reason [[my]_2342-matt Dad]_{578-my dad} did n’t drive up after [me]_2342-matt and [Matt]_2342-matt split up was because [Mum]_577-mum called [Kate]_2557-kate to find out if [I]_2342-matt really was okay . What would [they]_2126-they think if [they]_2126-they knew [I]_2342-matt was caught up with [a neurotic , self - assured control freak]_{2127-a neurotic , self - assured control freak} , who is – in [his]_{2127-a neurotic , self - assured control freak} own words – fucking [me]_2342-matt into oblivion ? The fact that [he]_{2127-a neurotic , self - assured control freak} ’s [super wealthy]_{2128-super wealthy} and owns [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} would not soften the blow . [Christ]_72-jesus , [Jesse]_327-jesse is probably closer to [[my]_2342-matt Mum]_577-mum in age than [I]_2342-matt am . [I]_2342-matt swing round on [my]_2342-matt stool when [I]_2342-matt hear a commotion coming from outside of [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . Getting up to go and investigate , [I]_2342-matt ’m nearly taken off [my]_2342-matt feet when [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s naked chest flies at [me]_2342-matt . WHOA ! ‘_[2342-matt] Fucking hell , there [you]_2131-you are . ’ [He]_2132-he grabs [me]_2342-matt , lifting [me]_2342-matt up to [his]_2132-he sweat riddled body . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2131-you were n’t in bed . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt splutter in [my]_2342-matt dazed state . [He]_2132-he ’s squeezing [me]_2342-matt so tight , [I]_2342-matt ’m struggling to breathe . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt saw [you]_2131-you running . [I]_2342-matt did n’t want to disturb [you]_2131-you . ’ [I]_2342-matt wriggle a little to indicate that [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] being constricted to death . [He]_2132-he releases [me]_2342-matt , setting [me]_2342-matt back on [my]_2342-matt feet , [his]_2132-he glistening , stubbled face giving [me]_2342-matt the once over . [His]_2132-he panicked features ease a bit as [he]_2132-he holds [me]_2342-matt steady by [my]_2342-matt forearms in front of [him]_2132-he . ‘ [I]_2132-he was just in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . ’_[2132-he] [I]_2342-matt repeat . [He]_2132-he looks like [he]_2132-he could keel over at any moment . What ’s wrong with [him]_2132-he ? [He]_2132-he shakes [his]_2132-he head slightly , as if ridding [himself]_2132-he of a nasty thought , picks [me]_2342-matt up and walks [me]_2342-matt to [the worktop]_{2614-the worktop} , sitting [me]_2342-matt on the cold granite . [He]_2132-he pushes [his]_2132-he way between [my]_2342-matt thighs . ‘ Sleep well ? ’_[2132-he] ‘ Great . ’_[2132-he] Why does [he]_2132-he look like [someone]_587-someone ’s broken some really crappy news ? ‘ Are [you]_2342-matt okay ? ’_[2132-he] [He]_2132-he blesses [me]_2342-matt with a heart stopping smile . [I]_2342-matt feel instantly at ease . ‘ [I]_2342-matt woke up with [you]_2342-matt in [my]_2342-matt bed wearing lace . It ’s ten thirty on a Sunday morning and [you]_2342-matt ’re_[2342-matt] in [[my]_2342-matt kitchen]_{2135-my kitchen} … ’ [He]_2132-he runs [his]_2132-he eyes down [my]_2342-matt front , ‘_[2342-matt] wearing lace . [I]_2342-matt ’m amazing . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_65-ha are ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Oh , [I]_2132-he am . ’_[2132-he] [He]_2132-he tips [my]_2342-matt face up , planting a light kiss on [my]_2342-matt lips . Oh , [I]_2342-matt could wake up to this every morning . ‘ [You]_65-ha ’re_[65-ha] too beautiful , [lady]_65-ha . ’ ‘_[65-ha] So are [you]_65-ha . ’ [He]_2132-he brushes the hair away from [my]_65-ha face , looking at [me]_65-ha affectionately . ‘_[65-ha] Kiss [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_65-ha fulfill [his]_2132-he request immediately , taking [his]_2132-he lips calmly and following the slow , gentle strokes of [his]_2132-he tongue . [We]_3499-our both hum in harmony . Oh this is good . But [our]_3499-our intimate moment is broken by the loud , shrill of [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s phone . [He]_2132-he grumbles and reaches past [me]_65-ha , still maintaining [our]_3499-our kiss . [He]_2132-he glances up at the screen as [he]_2132-he holds it over [my]_65-ha head . ‘_[65-ha] Oh , go away . ’ [he]_2132-he gripes against [my]_236-baby lips . ‘_[236-baby] [Baby]_236-baby , [I]_2342-matt ’ve got to take this . ’ [He]_2132-he pulls away and answers , keeping [himself]_2132-he firmly between [my]_236-baby thighs , [his]_2132-he free hand around [my]_236-baby waist . ‘_[236-baby] What ’s up , [John]_832-ava ? ’ [He]_2132-he starts chewing [his]_2132-he lip . ‘_[832-ava] What ’s [he]_832-ava doing there ? ’ [He]_832-ava drops a chaste kiss on [my]_832-ava lips . ‘_[832-ava] No , [I]_2342-matt ’ll be there … yes … see [you]_832-ava in a bit . ’ [He]_832-ava hangs up and studies [me]_832-ava thoughtfully for a few seconds . ‘_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt need to go to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . [You]_832-ava ’ll come . ’ [I]_832-ava recoil . ‘_[832-ava] No ! ’ [I]_832-ava blurt . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] not being yanked off of [Central Jesse Cloud Nine]_{46-central jesse cloud nine} by [her]_{46-central jesse cloud nine} ! [He]_832-ava frowns . ‘ But [I]_832-ava want [you]_832-ava to come . ’_[832-ava] Absolutely not ! It ’s Sunday , [I]_2342-matt ’m not working and [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not going to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . ‘ [You]_832-ava ’ll be working . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt search [my]_2342-matt brain for a feasible excuse for [me]_2342-matt not to go . ‘ [You]_832-ava do what [you]_832-ava need to do , and [I]_2342-matt ’ll see [you]_832-ava afterwards . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt reason instead . ‘ No , [you]_832-ava ’ll come . ’_[832-ava] [he]_832-ava presses forcefully . ‘ [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] not coming . ’ [I]_832-ava try to wriggle [myself]_832-ava free of [his]_832-ava grasp , but [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] going nowhere . ‘ Why ? ’_[832-ava] ‘ Just because , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt snap , earning [myself]_2342-matt a mighty scowl . [I]_2342-matt ’m not about to start whining about [Sarah]_54-victoria and off loading trivial jealousies on [him]_832-ava . [He]_832-ava searches [my]_2342-matt eyes . ‘_[2342-matt] Please , [Ava]_832-ava . Will [you]_832-ava just do what [you]_832-ava ’re told ? ’_[832-ava] ‘ No ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout . [I]_2342-matt watch as [he]_832-ava closes [his]_832-ava eyes , clearly trying to gather some patience , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t care . [He]_832-ava can force [me]_2342-matt to do many things , but [I]_2342-matt ’m not going to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . [I]_832-ava sit on [the worktop]_{2614-the worktop} , waiting for [him]_832-ava to disintegrate under [my]_832-ava disobedience . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , why do [you]_832-ava insist on making things more difficult ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt make things more difficult ? ’ [I]_2342-matt gape at [him]_832-ava . It ’s [him]_832-ava that needs some sense fucking into [him]_832-ava . [He]_832-ava ’s deluded . ‘_[2342-matt] Yes , [you]_832-ava do . [I]_2342-matt ’m trying really hard here . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Trying hard to do what ? Send [me]_2342-matt crazy ? It ’s working ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt beat [him]_832-ava away from [me]_2342-matt and storm out of [the kitchen]_{535-the bedroom} , hearing [him]_832-ava curse as [he]_832-ava follows [me]_2342-matt up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} . ‘ Okay ! ’_[832-ava] [he]_832-ava yells from behind [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_832-ava will wait here . [I]_832-ava ’ll be as quick as [I]_832-ava can . ’_[832-ava] ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’ll go [home]_281-home . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout over [my]_2342-matt shoulder , continuing on [my]_2342-matt way and shutting [myself]_2342-matt in [the bathroom]_{535-the bedroom} when [I]_2342-matt get there . [I]_2342-matt ’m not waiting around for [him]_832-ava to come back . [His]_832-ava being reasonable and relenting to [my]_2342-matt refusal to go with [him]_832-ava has just been trampled by the follow up of “ [you]_832-ava will wait here ” . [I]_2342-matt WILL do no such thing ! [I]_2342-matt splash [my]_2342-matt face with cold water to try and cool down [my]_2342-matt raging temper . Why has [he]_832-ava not given [me]_2342-matt the countdown ? That ’s what [he]_832-ava usually does when [I]_2342-matt do n’t conform . [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_832-ava in [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} on [his]_832-ava phone . Wondering who [he]_832-ava ’s talking to , [I]_2342-matt open the door . ‘_[2342-matt] See [you]_2140-you in a while . ’ [He]_832-ava hangs up , throwing [his]_832-ava phone on the bed . Who is [he]_832-ava seeing in a while ? [He]_832-ava stands with [his]_832-ava back to [me]_2342-matt for a long time , [his]_832-ava head dropped . [He]_832-ava ’s thinking , and [I]_2342-matt feel like an impostor all of a sudden . Eventually , [he]_832-ava exhales heavily and turns towards [me]_2342-matt . [He]_832-ava watches [me]_2342-matt for a short time before heading into [the bathroom]_{2350-the room} to take a shower . [I]_2342-matt stand in the middle of [the room]_{2350-the room} wondering what to do . [He]_832-ava ’s acting strange . No countdown ; [no manhandling]_{3504-no manhandling} . What ’s going on ? Yesterday was so perfect , and now [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] back to mind meltdown . It looks like [I]_2342-matt did n’t need [Sarah]_54-victoria to yank [me]_2342-matt off of [Central Jesse Cloud Nine]_{46-central jesse cloud nine} after all . [I]_2342-matt ’ve managed to do that all by [myself]_2342-matt . Ten minutes later , [I]_2342-matt ’m still stood twiddling [my]_2342-matt thumbs , trying to work out what to do with [myself]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt hear the shower shut off . [He]_832-ava comes out of [the bathroom]_{1993-the wardrobe} , heading straight into [the wardrobe]_{1993-the wardrobe} without a word . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] troubled by [his]_2141-he defeated expression that also harbours a bit of sorrow . [I]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt actually want [him]_2141-he to explode or give [me]_2342-matt the countdown . [I]_2342-matt have no idea what [he]_2141-he ’s thinking , and it ’s the most frustrating feeling in [the world]_{516-the world} . [He]_2141-he appears at the wardrobe door . ‘ [I]_2141-he need to go . ’_[2141-he] [he]_2141-he utters regretfully . [He]_2141-he looks completely tormented . ‘ [Kate]_2557-kate ’s on [her]_2557-kate way over . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt frown . ‘ Why ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ So [you]_2557-kate do n’t leave . ’_[2141-he] [He]_2141-he goes back into [the wardrobe]_{1993-the wardrobe} , [me]_2342-matt following swiftly behind . Pulling some jeans on , [he]_2141-he looks up at [me]_2342-matt briefly but gives nothing away . [He]_2141-he grabs a black t - shirt from a hanger , pulling it on over [his]_2141-he head quickly , before [he]_2141-he sets about getting [his]_2141-he Converse on . ‘ [I]_2141-he ’m_[2141-he] going [home]_281-home . ’ [I]_2141-he assert , but [he]_2141-he still does n’t look at [me]_2141-he . What ’s wrong with [him]_2141-he ? [I]_2141-he can feel [my]_2141-he temper flaring at [his]_2141-he lack of receptiveness , and not knowing what else to do , [I]_2141-he start pulling down [my]_2141-he clothes from [the hangers]_{3506-the hangers} , draping them over [my]_2141-he arms as [I]_2141-he do . ‘_[2141-he] What are [you]_2145-you doing ? ’ [He]_2141-he takes them from [my]_2145-you hands , hanging them back up . ‘_[2145-you] [You]_2145-you ’re not leaving . ’_[2141-he] [he]_2141-he growls . ‘ Yes , [I]_2342-matt am . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout , yanking [them]_2146-them back down . ‘ Put the fucking clothes back , [Ava]_832-ava ! ’_[2141-he] [he]_2141-he yells . [I]_2342-matt hear a rip of material as [I]_2342-matt fight [him]_2141-he away , and within a few seconds , [my]_2342-matt arms are free of clothes and [I]_2342-matt ’m being hauled from the wardrobe . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] pinned to the bed , struggling against [him]_2141-he in complete defiance , but [I]_2342-matt go nowhere . If [he]_2141-he tries to fuck [me]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt ’ll scream ! ‘ Calm the fuck down ! ’_[2141-he] [he]_2141-he yells , grabbing [my]_2342-matt jaw and pulling it to the centre so [I]_2342-matt have to look at [him]_2141-he . [I]_2342-matt slam [my]_2342-matt eyes shut , puffing and panting like [an exhausted greyhound]_{2147-an exhausted greyhound} . [I]_2342-matt ’m not going to let [him]_2141-he manipulate [me]_832-ava with sex . ‘_[832-ava] Open [your]_2342-matt eyes , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ ‘_[832-ava] No ! ’ [I]_832-ava sound so childish , but [I]_832-ava know if [I]_832-ava do , [I]_832-ava ’ll be swallowed up in lust . ‘_[832-ava] Open ! ’ [He]_2148-he shakes [my]_832-ava jaw slightly . ‘_[832-ava] No ! ’ ‘_[832-ava] Fine , ’ [he]_2148-he shouts , while [I]_832-ava continue to struggle . ‘_[832-ava] Listen to [me]_2342-matt , [lady]_832-ava . [You]_832-ava ’re not going anywhere . [I]_2148-he ’ve told [you]_832-ava repeatedly , so get fucking use to it ! ’_[2148-he] [He]_2148-he shifts [his]_2148-he body so [he]_2148-he has a firmer grip of [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2148-he ’m_[2148-he] going to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , and when [I]_2342-matt get back , [we]_2150-us ’re going to sit down to talk about [us]_2150-us . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt stop struggling . Talk about [us]_2150-us ? What ? Like a proper discussion about what the hell is going on here because [I]_2342-matt ’m desperate to know this . ‘_[2342-matt] Cards on the table , [Ava]_832-ava . No more fucking about , no more drunken confessions and no more holding out on [me]_2342-matt . Do [you]_832-ava understand ? ’ [His]_2148-he breathing is heavy , [his]_2148-he tone determined . This is what [I]_832-ava ’ve wanted all along – clarity and understanding of [our]_2150-us relationship . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] so bloody confused . [I]_2342-matt need to know what all this is and then , maybe , [I]_2342-matt can work out whether [I]_2342-matt need to break away . And what ’s this about drunken confessions and holding out ? [I]_2342-matt open [my]_2342-matt eyes to sludgy green gazing down at [me]_2342-matt . [He]_2151-he relaxes [his]_2151-he grip on [my]_2342-matt jaw . ‘ Come with [me]_2151-he , [I]_2151-he need [you]_2151-he with [me]_2151-he . ’_[2151-he] [He]_2151-he ’s almost pleading . ‘ Why ? ’_[2151-he] ‘ [I]_2342-matt just do . Why wo n’t [you]_2151-he come ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt take a deep breath . ‘ [I]_2342-matt do n’t feel comfortable . ’_[2342-matt] There , that ’s the truth . [He]_2151-he should be able to figure out for [himself]_2151-he why [I]_2342-matt do n’t feel comfortable at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . [He]_2151-he ca n’t be that stupid . ‘ Why do n’t [you]_2151-he feel comfortable ? ’_[2151-he] Okay . Maybe [he]_2151-he is that stupid . ‘ [I]_2151-he just do n’t . ’_[2151-he] [I]_2342-matt snap . [His]_2151-he brow knits and [he]_2151-he commences lip chomping . ‘ Please , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2151-he] [I]_2342-matt shake [my]_2342-matt head . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] not coming . ’ [He]_2151-he sighs . ‘_[2342-matt] Promise [me]_2342-matt that [you]_2153-he ’ll be [here]_314-here when [I]_2342-matt get [home]_281-home then . [We]_2156-we need to sort this shit out . ’ ‘_[2156-we] [I]_2342-matt ’ll be here . ’ [I]_2342-matt assure [him]_2151-he . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] desperate to sort this shit out . [I]_2342-matt ’m not going anywhere . ‘_[2342-matt] Thank [you]_2153-he . ’ [he]_2151-he whispers , resting [his]_2151-he forehead on [mine]_2342-matt and clenching [his]_2151-he eyes shut . [I]_2342-matt feel immense hope blossoming inside [me]_2342-matt at [his]_2151-he determination to sort this shit out . [He]_2151-he lifts [himself]_2151-he , without so much as kissing [me]_2342-matt , and leaves [the room]_{2350-the room} . [I]_2342-matt stay on the bed , recovering from [my]_2342-matt pointless physical battle , wondering what ’s going to be established from the laying of cards and sorting of shit . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] torn between admitting to [him]_2153-he how [I]_2342-matt feel , or waiting to hear what [he]_2153-he has to say first . What will [he]_2153-he say ? So much needs clarifying . What is [us]_2157-us ? Intense hot affair or more ? [I]_2342-matt need it to be more , but [I]_2342-matt ca n’t cope with [his]_2153-he trampling and unreasonableness . It ’s exhausting . There was no denying the look of pure torment on [his]_2153-he handsome face . What ’s running through that complex mind of [his]_2153-he ? Why does [he]_2153-he need [me]_2342-matt ? So many questions … [I]_2342-matt close [my]_2342-matt eyes , trying to re - establish some steady breaths , and find [myself]_2342-matt drifting into a semi - exhausted coma . The phone next to the bed starts ringing , snapping [my]_2342-matt eyes open . [Kate]_2557-kate ! [I]_2342-matt scramble up the bed and answer . ‘ Send [her]_2557-kate up , [Clive]_101-clive . ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt fling a t - shirt on and run down [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , throwing the door open as [Kate]_2557-kate exits [the elevator]_{780-the elevator} . [I]_2342-matt ’m so glad to see [her]_2557-kate , but why [he]_2153-he thinks [I]_2342-matt need babysitting is beyond [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt run at [her]_2557-kate , flinging [my]_2342-matt arms around [her]_2557-kate desperately . ‘_[2342-matt] Whoa ! Is [someone]_587-someone happy to see [me]_2342-matt ? ’ [She]_2557-kate returns [my]_587-someone violent hug , [my]_587-someone face buried in [her]_2557-kate red locks . [I]_587-someone did n’t realise how much [I]_587-someone needed to see [her]_2557-kate . ‘_{[587-someone]} Are [you]_587-someone going to invite [me]_2342-matt into [the tower]_{2161-the tower} , or are [we]_2162-we staying put ? ’ [I]_587-someone pull away . ‘_{[587-someone]} Sorry , ’ [I]_2342-matt blow [my]_2342-matt hair out of [my]_2342-matt face . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m a mess , [Kate]_2557-kate . And [you]_2557-kate ’ve been letting [men]_2420-men rummage through [my]_2342-matt things again . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt add on a scowl . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [he]_2342-matt turned up at six in the morning , banging until [Sam]_1914-sam answered . [I]_2342-matt just let [him]_2342-matt do [his]_2342-matt thing , it ’s not like [anyone]_2475-anyone can stop [him]_2342-matt . [The man]_2342-matt ’s a rhinoceros . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [He]_2342-matt ’s more than that . ’_[2163-she] [She]_2163-she looks at [me]_2342-matt all sorrowful , taking [my]_2342-matt hand and leading [me]_2342-matt back into [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} . ‘ [I]_2163-she ca n’t believe [he]_2342-matt lives [here]_314-here , ’_[2163-she] [she]_2163-she mutters , directing [me]_2342-matt into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . ‘ Sit . ’_[2163-she] [She]_2163-she points to a stool . [I]_2342-matt rest [my]_2342-matt backside on the seat , watching as [Kate]_2557-kate refreshes [her]_2163-she memory of [the impressive kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} . ‘ [I]_2557-kate ca n’t make [you]_3511-you tea because [he]_2342-matt has no milk . [The housekeeper]_{889-a housekeeper} is on holiday . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ [He]_2342-matt has [a housekeeper]_{889-a housekeeper} , ’_[2163-she] [she]_2163-she says to [herself]_2163-she . ‘ Of course [he]_2342-matt does . ’_[2163-she] [She]_2163-she shakes [her]_2163-she head and goes to the fridge , collecting two bottles of water , before coming to sit next to [me]_2342-matt . ‘ What ’s going on ? ’_[2163-she] ‘ What am [I]_2342-matt going to do , [Kate]_2557-kate ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt rest [my]_2342-matt head in [my]_2342-matt hands . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]_2342-matt called [you]_2557-kate here , just so [I]_2342-matt do n’t leave . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Does n’t that tell [you]_2557-kate something ? ’_[2163-she] ‘ Yes , that [he]_2342-matt ’s [a control freak]_{3513-a control freak} ! [He]_2342-matt ’s so intense , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look up to [Kate]_2557-kate , who ’s smiling faintly . What ’s to smile about ? [I]_2342-matt ’m in turmoil here . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know where [I]_2342-matt am with [him]_2342-matt . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Have [you]_2166-you told [him]_2342-matt ? ’ [she]_2557-kate asks , with a perfectly plucked brow arched at [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] No , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Why ? ’ [she]_2557-kate blurts , totally surprised . ‘_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate , [I]_2342-matt do n’t know what [I]_2342-matt am to [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt can be so gentle and loving , saying things [I]_2342-matt ca n’t get [my]_2342-matt head around , and the next minute , [he]_2342-matt ’s brutally fierce , unreasonable and controlling . [He]_2342-matt tries to control [me]_2342-matt ! ’ [I]_2342-matt open [my]_2342-matt water , taking a swig to moisten [my]_2342-matt dry mouth . ‘_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt manipulates [me]_2342-matt with sex when [I]_2342-matt do n’t jump at [his]_2342-matt command , tramples [anyone]_2475-anyone , including [me]_2342-matt , if [they]_2475-anyone get in the way of [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt ’s bordering on impossible . No , [he]_2342-matt is impossible . ’ [Kate]_2557-kate looks at [me]_1914-sam with compassion in [her]_2557-kate bright blues . ‘_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam told [me]_2342-matt [he]_2342-matt ’s never seen [Jesse]_327-jesse like this before . Apparently , [he]_2342-matt ’s famed for [his]_2342-matt easy going nature . ’ [I]_2557-kate laugh . [I]_2557-kate could describe [Jesse]_327-jesse with many words . Easy going would not feature anywhere on [my]_2557-kate list . ‘_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate , [he]_2342-matt ’s not easy going , trust [me]_2342-matt . ’ ‘_[2557-kate] [You]_2557-kate obviously bring out the worst in [him]_2342-matt . ’ [She]_2557-kate smiles . ‘_[2557-kate] Obviously , ’ [I]_2342-matt agree . Easy going ? What a joke . ‘_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt brings out the worst in [me]_2342-matt too . [He]_2342-matt hates [me]_2342-matt swearing , so [I]_2342-matt do it more . [He]_2342-matt has an issue with exposing [my]_2342-matt flesh to anyone other than [him]_2342-matt , so [I]_2342-matt wear shorter dresses . [He]_2342-matt tells [me]_2342-matt not to get drunk , so [I]_2342-matt do . It ’s not healthy , [Kate]_2557-kate . One second [he]_2342-matt tells [me]_2342-matt that [he]_2342-matt loves having [me]_2342-matt around , the next [I]_2342-matt ’m [his]_2342-matt current fuck . What am [I]_2342-matt supposed to think ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ But [you]_2168-you ’re_[2342-matt] still here , ’ [she]_{2426-my best friend} says thoughtfully . ‘_[2168-you] And [you]_2168-you ’re not going to get any answers if [you]_2168-you do n’t ask the damn questions . ’_[2168-you] ‘ [I]_2168-you do ask questions . ’_[2168-you] ‘ [The right ones]_{3514-the right ones} ? ’_{[2426-my best friend]} What are the right questions ? [I]_2342-matt look at [[my]_2342-matt best friend]_{2426-my best friend} and wonder why [she]_{2426-my best friend} ’s not kidnapping [me]_2342-matt from [the tower]_{2161-the tower} and hiding [me]_2342-matt away from [Jesse]_327-jesse . [She]_{2426-my best friend} ’s seen [him]_2342-matt in action – surely that would be enough for [any best friend]_{2171-any best friend} to intervene . ‘ Why are [you]_2168-you not telling [me]_2342-matt to leg it ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask suspiciously . ‘ Is it because [he]_2342-matt brought [you]_2168-you [a van]_{981-that van} ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Do n’t be stupid , [Ava]_832-ava . [I]_2342-matt would toss [that van]_{981-that van} right back at [him]_2342-matt if [you]_2168-you wanted [me]_2342-matt to . [You]_2168-you ’re_[2342-matt] more important . [I]_2342-matt ’m not telling [you]_2168-you to leg it because [I]_2172-she know [you]_2168-you do n’t want to . What [you]_2168-you need to be doing is telling [him]_2342-matt how [you]_2168-you feel , negotiating acceptable levels of intenseness . ’_[2172-she] [She]_2172-she grins . ‘ In [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} is fine , yes ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt smile . ‘ [He]_2342-matt said [he]_2342-matt ’d make sure [I]_2342-matt ’ll always need [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt has . [I]_2342-matt really need [him]_2342-matt , [Kate]_2557-kate . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Talk to [him]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2172-she] [She]_2172-she gives [me]_2342-matt a little nudge on the shoulder . ‘ [You]_832-ava ca n’t go on like this . ’_[2172-she] [She]_2172-she shakes [her]_2172-she head . [I]_2342-matt definitely ca n’t go on like this ; [I]_2342-matt ’ll be in [an asylum]_{2173-an asylum} within a month . [My]_2342-matt heart and brain are being yanked from one side to the other by the hour . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know [my]_2342-matt arse from [my]_2342-matt head . If it means slapping [my]_2342-matt heart down on the table for [him]_2174-him to trample all over , then so be it . At least [I]_2342-matt ’ll know where [I]_2342-matt am . [I]_2342-matt ’ll recover … eventually … [I]_2342-matt think . [I]_2342-matt stand up . ‘ Will [you]_2174-him take [me]_2342-matt to [The Manor]_310-whoever ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [I]_2342-matt need to do this now before [I]_2342-matt bottle it . [I]_2342-matt need to tell [him]_2174-him how [I]_2342-matt feel . [Kate]_2557-kate springs from the stool . ‘ Yes ! ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate sings enthusiastically . ‘ [I]_2557-kate ’ve been dying to see [this place]_310-whoever . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ It ’s [a hotel]_{321-a hotel} , [Kate]_2557-kate . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt roll [my]_2342-matt eyes , but let [her]_2557-kate have [her]_2557-kate excitement . [[My]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} ’s at [hers]_2557-kate , so [I]_2342-matt ’m kind of stuck without [her]_2557-kate . ‘_[2342-matt] Give [me]_2342-matt five . ’ [I]_2342-matt run [upstairs]_{2469-upstairs} to change into [my]_2342-matt jeans and ballet pumps , meeting [Kate]_2557-kate at the front door in record time . [I]_2342-matt send [Jesse]_327-jesse a quick text to tell [him]_327-jesse [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] on [my]_2342-matt way . It ’s time to lay [my]_2342-matt cards on the table . Chapter 36 [We]_2176-we walk into the Sunday evening sunshine , but [I]_2342-matt do n’t see [Margo Junior]_1052-margo . [I]_2342-matt scan the car park for [the big , pink van]_{2177-the big , pink van} , but it ’s not like [you]_2178-you can miss the giant heap of metal . ‘ Oh , [I]_2557-kate hope [you]_2178-you do n’t mind . ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate laughs nervously , just as [I]_2342-matt spot [my]_2342-matt Mini , roof down and parked in one of [[Jesse]_327-jesse ’s spaces]_{2179-jesse ’s spaces} . ‘ [You]_2178-you ’re_{[2180-a cheeky cow]} [a cheeky cow]_{2180-a cheeky cow} ! ’ [She]_832-ava waves off [my]_{2180-a cheeky cow} insult . ‘_{[2180-a cheeky cow]} Do n’t [you]_2178-you narrow those big browns on [me]_2342-matt , [Ava O’Shea]_832-ava . If [I]_2342-matt did n’t drive [her]_832-ava , then [she]_832-ava would be sat outside [the house]_{308-the place} for eternity . It ’s a waste . ’ The indicators flash , and [I]_832-ava put [my]_832-ava hand out for the keys , which [she]_832-ava reluctantly hands over on a huff . [We]_3520-we drive out towards the [Surrey Hills]_{1-surrey hills} discussing the merits of [domineering men]_{3521-domineering men} . [We]_3520-we both reach the same conclusion : Yes to sex and no to all other aspects of a relationship . The problem is : [Jesse]_327-jesse manages to drag sex into all aspects of [our]_3520-we relationship , using it , mostly , to get [his]_327-jesse way . And [I]_832-ava ca n’t ever seem to say no so [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] pretty much doomed . This could all be over within an hour . The thought sends an unbearable ache to [my]_2342-matt stomach , but [I]_2342-matt have to be sensible here . [I]_2342-matt ’m already in way over [my]_2342-matt head . [I]_2342-matt pull off [the main road]_{294-the main road} , up to the gates . [They]_{294-the main road} open immediately , letting [me]_2342-matt through . ‘_[2342-matt] Holy shit ! ’ [Kate]_2557-kate exclaims as [we]_3520-we drive up [the long , gravel driveway]_{3523-the long , gravel driveway} , flanked by trees . [She]_2557-kate ’s in awe already and [she]_2557-kate has n’t even seen [the house]_{308-the place} yet . [We]_3520-we eventually emerge into [the courtyard]_{307-the courtyard} . It ’s busy . ‘_[251-shit] [Holy fucking shit]_251-shit ! ’ [She]_2557-kate gapes at [the imposing property]_{3526-the imposing property} , leaning forward in [her]_2557-kate seat . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse owns this ? ’ ‘_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse does . There ’s [[Sam]_1914-sam ’s car]_{548-the car} . ’ [I]_1914-sam pull into a space next to [the Porsche]_{548-the car} . ‘_[1914-sam] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]_327-jesse comes here to have lunch . ’ [she]_2557-kate grumbles , joining [me]_1914-sam on [my]_1914-sam side of [the car]_{548-the car} . ‘_[1914-sam] Holy fucking shit ! ’ [I]_2557-kate laugh at [Kate]_2557-kate ’s amazement – [she]_2557-kate does n’t shock easily . [I]_2557-kate lead [her]_2557-kate towards the steps , expecting to find [John]_832-ava greeting [us]_3527-us , but [he]_327-jesse does n’t appear . Instead , [I]_2557-kate find the double doors ajar , so [I]_2557-kate push [my]_2557-kate way through . Looking back at [Kate]_2557-kate , [I]_2557-kate see [her]_2557-kate gazing around , open mouthed and wide eyed at the splendid surroundings . ‘_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate , shut [your]_2557-kate mouth . ’ [I]_2557-kate scorn [her]_2557-kate lightly . ‘_[2557-kate] Sorry . ’ [She]_2557-kate snaps [her]_2557-kate mouth shut . ‘_[2557-kate] This is one fancy place . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt know . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt want a tour . ’ [she]_2557-kate says , craning [her]_2557-kate neck to look up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} . ‘_[2342-matt] Get [Sam]_1914-sam to give [you]_2557-kate a tour . ’ [I]_2342-matt say shortly . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt need to see [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’ [I]_2342-matt head past [the restaurant]_{361-the bar} and towards [the bar]_{361-the bar} , spotting [Sam]_1914-sam and [Drew]_327-jesse immediately . [Sam]_1914-sam gives [me]_2342-matt a huge , cheeky grin as [he]_1914-sam swigs [his]_1914-sam beer , but spits it out when [Kate]_2557-kate follows in behind [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] Fuck ! What are [you]_2557-kate doing here ? ’ [he]_1914-sam splutters . [Drew]_327-jesse turns , clocks [Kate]_2557-kate and breaks out in uncontrollable laughter . [I]_2342-matt frown . [Kate]_2557-kate looks less than delighted . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m pleased to see [you]_2557-kate too , dick ! ’_[2183-she] [she]_2183-she spits indignantly at a stunned [Sam]_1914-sam . [He]_1914-sam quickly shoves [his]_1914-sam beer on the bar , pulling a stool up close to [him]_1914-sam . ‘ Sit ! ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam bashes the top of the stool , giving [Drew]_327-jesse a worried look . ‘ Do n’t order [me]_327-jesse about , [Samuel]_1914-sam ! ’_[327-jesse] The look of disgust on [her]_2183-she face is fierce . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never seen [Sam]_1914-sam so twitchy before . Is [he]_1914-sam hiding something ? Perhaps , it ’s [the girl from [Starbucks]_12-starbucks]_{2184-the girl from starbucks} ? [He]_1914-sam pats the stool again , smiling nervously at [her]_{2184-the girl from starbucks} . ‘ Please , ’_[1914-sam] [Kate]_2557-kate makes [her]_2557-kate way over , resting [her]_2557-kate bum on the stool . [Sam]_1914-sam pulls [her]_2557-kate even closer . [She]_2557-kate ’ll be on [his]_1914-sam lap soon . ‘ Buy [me]_2557-kate a drink . ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate demands on a half - smile . ‘ Just one . ’_[1914-sam] [he]_1914-sam affirms , signaling to [Mario]_89-mario . [Jesus]_72-jesus , [he]_1914-sam ’s breaking out in a sweat . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[1914-sam] ‘ No , [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] good . [I]_2342-matt ’m going to find [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt thumb over [my]_2342-matt shoulder as [I]_2342-matt start walking backwards . ‘ Does [he]_1914-sam know [you]_1914-sam ’re_[2342-matt] here ? ’ [Sam]_1914-sam asks , all wide eyed . What ’s the matter with [him]_1914-sam ? ‘_[1914-sam] Well , [I]_2342-matt text [him]_1914-sam , ’ [I]_2342-matt glance around the bar , seeing plenty of familiar faces from [my]_2342-matt previous few visits to [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] pleased to note there ’s no [Sarah]_54-victoria , but this means nothing , of course . [She]_54-victoria could be anywhere in [this huge house]_{2356-the manor} . ‘ But [he]_1914-sam did n’t reply . ’_{[54-victoria]} [I]_2342-matt add . It ’s only now [I]_2342-matt realise how strange that is . [Sam]_1914-sam gives [Drew]_327-jesse a nervous look , prompting [Drew]_327-jesse to laugh harder . ‘ Wait here , [I]_1914-sam ’ll go and get [him]_1914-sam . ’_[1914-sam] ‘ [I]_2342-matt know where [[his]_1914-sam office]_{279-the office} is . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say on a frown . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , will [you]_832-ava just wait here ? ’_[2342-matt] [Sam]_1914-sam ’s face is pure panic . [I]_2342-matt ’m super suspicious now . [He]_1914-sam fixes [Kate]_2557-kate with a stern glare as [he]_1914-sam gets up . ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t move . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] How much have [you]_2186-you had to drink ? ’ [Kate]_2557-kate asks , eyeing [his]_1914-sam bottle of beer . Has [Kate]_2557-kate picked up on [his]_1914-sam unease too ? ‘_[2342-matt] This is [my]_2342-matt first and last , trust [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m going to get [Jesse]_327-jesse , then [we]_3531-we ’re_[2342-matt] leaving . ’ [He]_1914-sam looks around the bar nervously . Okay , now [I]_1914-sam ’m_[1914-sam] convinced [he]_1914-sam ’s definitely hiding [someone]_587-someone or something . [I]_2342-matt ’m beginning to wish [Sarah]_54-victoria was in [here]_314-here because then [I]_2342-matt would know for sure that [she]_54-victoria is n’t with [Jesse]_327-jesse . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] bristling from head to toe . [He]_1914-sam jogs off , leaving [Kate]_2557-kate and [I]_2342-matt exchanging puzzled faces . ‘ Excuse [me]_327-jesse [ladies]_458-ladies , ’_[327-jesse] [Drew]_327-jesse gets up . ‘ [Nature]_260-nature calls . ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam leaves [us]_2188-us at the bar like a couple of spare parts . ‘ Oh , fuck this , ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate exclaims , taking [my]_2342-matt hand . ‘ Give [me]_2557-kate the tour . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate pulls [me]_2342-matt back towards [the entrance hall]_{356-the entrance hall} . ‘ A quick one , ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt agree , taking over the lead and guiding [her]_2557-kate up [the massive staircase]_{2190-the massive staircase} . ‘ [I]_2557-kate ’ll show [you]_2557-kate [the rooms [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] working on]_{3534-the rooms i ’m working on} . ’ [We]_2188-us reach the balcony landing and [Kate]_2557-kate ’s gasps increase as [she]_2557-kate takes in the opulent splendor of [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . ‘_[2557-kate] This is some serious special . ’ [she]_2557-kate mumbles , gazing around in awe . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt know . [He]_2342-matt inherited the place from [[his]_2342-matt uncle]_{2191-his uncle} when [he]_2342-matt was twenty one . ’ ‘_{[2192-twenty one]} [Twenty one]_{2192-twenty one} ? ’ ‘_{[2192-twenty one]} Hmmm , ’ ‘_{[2192-twenty one]} Wow ! ’ [Kate]_2557-kate blurts . [I]_{2192-twenty one} look behind [me]_{2192-twenty one} , finding [her]_2557-kate gawking at the huge stained glass window at the foot of [the second staircase]_{2190-the massive staircase} . ‘_{[2192-twenty one]} This way , ’ [I]_{2192-twenty one} call behind [me]_{2192-twenty one} , walking through the archway that leads to [the extension rooms]_{2350-the room} , leaving [Kate]_2557-kate to scuttle after [me]_{2192-twenty one} . ‘_{[2192-twenty one]} There are ten altogether . ’ [She]_2557-kate follows [me]_{2192-twenty one} into the middle of [the room]_{2350-the room} , gazing around . [I]_{2192-twenty one} ca n’t deny , they are mighty impressive , even as empty shells . Once completed , though , [they]_3537-they ’ll be royal worthy . Will [I]_{2192-twenty one} get through to completion ? After [our]_3538-our little sorting of shit [I]_{2192-twenty one} might not see [this place]_{2350-the room} again . [I]_{2192-twenty one} ca n’t say that would disappoint [me]_{2192-twenty one} . [I]_{2192-twenty one} do n’t like coming here . [I]_{2192-twenty one} wander further into [the room]_{2350-the room} and follow [Kate]_2557-kate ’s gaze to the wall behind the door . What the hell ? ‘_{[2192-twenty one]} What ’s that ? ’ [Kate]_2557-kate asks the question that ’s batting around in [my]_2342-matt own head . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . It was n’t here before . ’ [I]_2342-matt run [my]_2342-matt eyes over the huge , wooden , crucifix style cross propped up against the wall . With giant , black , wrought iron screw eyes bolted to the corners , it looks imposing , but it ’s still a fine piece of art . ‘_[2342-matt] It must be one of the big wall hangings [Jesse]_327-jesse was talking about . ’ [I]_327-jesse approach the piece , running [my]_327-jesse hand over the highly polished wood . It ’s spectacular – if a little intimidating . ‘_[327-jesse] Oh . Sorry , [ladies]_458-ladies . ’ [We]_3538-our both swing around , finding [a middle aged man in overalls holding a sander in one hand and a coffee in the other]_{3539-a middle aged man in overalls holding a sander in one hand and a coffee in the other} . ‘_[458-ladies] Looks good , huh ? ’ [He]_327-jesse points up at the frame with [his]_327-jesse sander as [he]_327-jesse takes a slurp of [his]_327-jesse coffee . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m just checking the size before [I]_2342-matt make [the others]_{2888-the others} . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_2342-matt made this ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask in disbelief . ‘ [I]_327-jesse certainly did . ’_[327-jesse] [He]_327-jesse laughs , joining [me]_2342-matt by the cross . ‘ It ’s stunning . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt muse . It ’ll fit in perfectly with the bed [I]_2342-matt designed that [Jesse]_327-jesse loved so much . ‘ Thank [you]_2342-matt , [Miss.]_252-miss. ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse says proudly . [I]_2342-matt turn around and see [Kate]_2557-kate observing the piece of art on a frown . ‘ [We]_2196-we ’ll leave [you]_2342-matt to it . ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt give [Kate]_2557-kate the lets - be - going nod , and [she]_2557-kate smiles at [the workman]_{2194-the workman} before following [me]_2342-matt out of [the room]_{308-the place} . [We]_2196-we walk back through to [the gallery landing]_{2393-the gallery landing} . ‘ [I]_2557-kate did n’t get it . ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate grumbles . ‘ It ’s art , [Kate]_2557-kate . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt laugh . It ’s not pink and chintzy , so [I]_2342-matt ’m not surprised [she]_2557-kate does n’t like it . [Our]_2196-we tastes are very different . ‘_[2342-matt] What ’s up there ? ’ [I]_2342-matt follow [her]_2557-kate gaze up [the staircase]_{272-the stairs} to [the third floor]_{1300-the third floor} , stopping to look with [her]_2557-kate . Those intimidating doors are slightly ajar . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do n’t know . [I]_2342-matt think it might be [a function room]_{308-the place} . ’ [Kate]_2557-kate takes [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} . ‘_[2342-matt] Let ’s have a look . ’ ‘_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate ! ’ [I]_2557-kate start after [her]_2557-kate . [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] keen to find [Jesse]_327-jesse . The longer [I]_2342-matt delay speaking to [him]_327-jesse , the longer [I]_2342-matt have to convince [myself]_2342-matt not to . ‘ [Kate]_2557-kate , come on . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Just a peek . ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate says , pushing against the doors . ‘ Fuck ! ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate screeches . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , look at this . ’_[2557-kate] Okay , [my]_2342-matt curiosity has been well and truly teased . [I]_2342-matt run the rest of the way up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} and into [the function room]_{308-the place} , skidding to an abrupt halt next to [Kate]_2557-kate . Fucking hell . ‘ Excuse [me]_2199-us ! ’_[2199-us] [We]_2199-us both look in the direction of the foreign accented voice . [A dumpy lady]_363-irene , holding cleaning cloths and anti - bacterial spray , comes wobbling towards [us]_2199-us . ‘ No , no , no . [I]_363-irene clean . [The communal room]_{308-the place} is closed for cleaning . ’_[363-irene] [She]_363-irene shoos [us]_2199-us back towards the door . ‘ Chill out , [Senorita]_261-senorita , ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate laughs . ‘ [[Her]_2557-kate boyfriend]_{398-her boyfriend} owns [the place]_{308-the place} . ’_[363-irene] [The poor woman]_363-irene recoils at [Kate]_2557-kate ’s harshness , giving [me]_2342-matt the once over before bowing . ‘ [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] so sorry . ’ [She]_363-irene shoves [her]_363-irene spray in [her]_363-irene apron and clasps [my]_327-jesse hands in [her]_363-irene tanned wrinkled fingers . ‘_[327-jesse] [Mr Ward]_327-jesse , [he]_327-jesse not say [you]_327-jesse come . ’ [I]_327-jesse fidget uncomfortably on the spot at [the woman]_363-irene ’s panic , throwing [Kate]_2557-kate a disgusted look , but [she]_363-irene does n’t notice . [She]_363-irene ’s too busy looking around at [the colossal room]_{3544-the colossal room} [we]_3545-we ’re_[327-jesse] stood in . [I]_2342-matt smile reassuringly at the Spanish cleaner , who ’s got [herself]_2557-kate in a bit of a pickle over [my]_2342-matt presence . ‘ It ’s fine , really . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt assure [her]_2557-kate . [She]_2557-kate bows again , moving off to the side , leaving [Kate]_2557-kate and [me]_2342-matt to try and comprehend [our]_2201-our surroundings . [I]_2342-matt gaze around , and the first thing that strikes [me]_2342-matt is how beautiful [the room]_{2350-the room} is . Just like [the rest of [the house]_{2350-the room}]_{2203-the rest of the house} , [this room]_{2350-the room} has been lavished with beautiful materials and furniture . The space is huge , easily spanning half of [the entire buildings floor area]_{2204-the entire buildings floor area} , and as [I]_2342-matt look around , [I]_2342-matt realise it backs onto its self , circling around [the stairwell]_{803-the stairwell} . [We]_2206-we ’ve entered the centre of [the room]_{2350-the room} , so it ’s even bigger than [I]_2342-matt originally thought . The ceiling is high and vaulted , with wooden beams stretching from end to end and over - elaborate , gold chandeliers hanging between them , offering a hazy glow of light . [The room]_{2350-the room} is dominated by three arched , Georgian sash windows , dressed in crimson , with Austrian blinds edged in gold jute braid . Miles and miles of gold silk , piped in crimson braid , is softly gathered and held in place at the sides by simple gold ombres . The deep red walls provide a dramatic backdrop for elaborately dressed beds that are positioned around [the room]_{2350-the room} . Beds ? ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , something tells [me]_2557-kate this is n’t [a function room]_{2350-the room} . ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate whispers . [She]_2557-kate starts to wander off to the right , while [I]_2342-matt remain frozen in place , trying to grasp what [I]_2342-matt ’m looking at . It ’s [an immense , super luxurious , communal bedroom – [The Communal Room]_{2350-the room}]_{2350-the room} . The walls are free from paintings , allowing space for various gold metal frames , hooks and hoists . [They]_3546-they all look innocent enough , like extravagant wall hangings , but as [my]_2342-matt mind starts to recover from its shocked state , the significance of [the room]_{2350-the room} and its contents start to filter into [my]_2342-matt brain . A million reasons try to distract [me]_2342-matt from the conclusion [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] slowly drawing , but there is no other explanation for the devices and contraptions surrounding [me]_2342-matt . The delayed reaction finally crashes down . ‘ Fucking hell , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt whisper to [myself]_2342-matt . ‘ Watch [your]_2342-matt mouth . ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt soft voice rolls over [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt fly around and find [him]_2342-matt stood behind [me]_2342-matt , watching quietly , [his]_2342-matt hands in [his]_2342-matt jean pockets , [his]_2342-matt face completely expressionless . [My]_2342-matt tongue is like lead in [my]_2342-matt mouth as [I]_2342-matt search [my]_2342-matt brain for something to say . What can [I]_2342-matt say ? [My]_2342-matt head is invaded with a million memories of the last few weeks . All of the times [I]_2342-matt ’ve brushed things off , ignored things or , more to the point , been distracted from things . Things [he]_2342-matt ’s said , things [other people]_{2207-other people} have said – things [I]_2342-matt thought odd , but did n’t pursue because [I]_2342-matt was distracted by [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt ’s been distracting [me]_2342-matt this whole time . [He]_2342-matt ’s been going out of [his]_2342-matt way to keep all of this from [me]_2342-matt . What else is [he]_2342-matt keeping from [me]_2342-matt ? [Kate]_2557-kate appears in [my]_2342-matt peripheral vision . [I]_2342-matt do n’t have to look at [her]_2557-kate to know [she]_2557-kate ’s probably displaying a similar facial expression to [me]_2342-matt , but [I]_2342-matt ca n’t drag [my]_2342-matt eyes away from [Jesse]_327-jesse to be sure . [He]_2342-matt flicks [his]_2342-matt gaze in [Kate]_2557-kate ’s direction , smiling at [her]_2557-kate nervously . [Sam]_1914-sam barges into [the room]_{308-the place} . ‘ Oh , fucking hell ! [I]_2342-matt thought [I]_2342-matt told [you]_72-jesus to stay put ! ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt shouts , fixing [Kate]_2557-kate with a furious glare . ‘ Damn [you]_72-jesus , [woman]_72-jesus ! ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2557-kate think [we]_3548-we need to go . ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate says quietly , walking towards [Sam]_1914-sam and taking [his]_2342-matt hand to lead [him]_2342-matt out of [the room]_{308-the place} . ‘ Thank [you]_72-jesus . ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse nods at [them]_2209-them before returning [his]_327-jesse eyes to [me]_2342-matt . [His]_327-jesse shoulders are slightly raised , signaling [his]_327-jesse tenseness . [He]_327-jesse looks really worried . [He]_327-jesse should be . [I]_2342-matt hear the hushed , angry whispers of [Kate]_2557-kate and [Sam]_1914-sam as [they]_2209-them take [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , leaving [us]_2211-us alone in [the communal room]_{308-the place} . [The communal room]_{308-the place} . It all makes sense now . That crucifix [downstairs]_{2323-downstairs} is no wall art . The strange grid - like contraption in [the suite]_{308-the place} was no antique . [The women sauntering around [the place]_{308-the place} like [they]_{2213-the women sauntering around the place like they live here} live here]_{2213-the women sauntering around the place like they live here} are not [business women]_{2214-business women} . Well , [they]_{2213-the women sauntering around the place like they live here} might be , but not while [they]_{2213-the women sauntering around the place like they live here} ’re here . Oh God , help [me]_832-ava . [I]_832-ava watch as [Jesse]_327-jesse teeth start a good work out on [his]_327-jesse bottom lip . [My]_832-ava strained heartbeats are quickening by the second . This certainly explains the thoughtful moments [he]_327-jesse ’s been drifting in and out of over the last few days . [He]_327-jesse must have known [I]_832-ava would find out ? Was [he]_327-jesse ever going to tell [me]_832-ava ? [He]_327-jesse drops [his]_327-jesse eyes to the floor . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , why did n’t [you]_832-ava wait at [home]_281-home for [me]_2342-matt ? ’ [My]_832-ava shock starts to simmer into anger as everything starts clicking into place . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] so dense ! ‘ [You]_832-ava wanted [me]_2342-matt to come . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt remind [him]_2342-matt . ‘ Not like this . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt sent [you]_832-ava a text . [I]_2342-matt told [you]_832-ava [I]_2342-matt was on [my]_2342-matt way . ’_[2342-matt] [He]_2342-matt frowns . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt have n’t received a text from [you]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Where ’s [your]_832-ava phone ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ It ’s in [[my]_2342-matt office]_{1011-my office} , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt go to retrieve [my]_2342-matt mobile , but then [his]_2342-matt words from this morning seep back in to [my]_2342-matt brain . ‘ Is this what [you]_832-ava wanted to talk about ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . [He]_2342-matt did n’t want to talk about [us]_2216-us at all . [He]_2342-matt wanted to talk about all this shit . [He]_2342-matt lifts [his]_2342-matt eyes back up to [mine]_2342-matt , and there ’s no mistaking the regret in [them]_2217-them . ‘ It was time [you]_832-ava knew . ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt eyes widen . ‘ No , it was time for [me]_2342-matt to know a long time ago , [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt do a full three sixty turn , refreshing [my]_2342-matt eyes of where [I]_2342-matt am . It ’s still all there , loud and proud – [I]_2342-matt ’m not dreaming . ‘_[2342-matt] Fuck ! ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Watch [your]_2342-matt mouth , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [he]_2342-matt scorns [me]_832-ava gently . [I]_832-ava swing back around to face [him]_2342-matt in shock . ‘_[832-ava] Do n’t [you]_2342-matt dare ! ’ [I]_2342-matt cry , slapping the heel of [my]_2342-matt hand against [my]_2342-matt forehead . ‘_[2342-matt] Fuck , fuck , fuck ! ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Watch ... ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Do n’t ! ’ [I]_327-jesse pin [him]_2342-matt with a fierce glare . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , do n’t [you]_2342-matt dare tell [me]_2342-matt to watch [my]_2342-matt mouth ! ’ [I]_327-jesse gesture around [the room]_{2350-the room} . ‘_[327-jesse] Look ! ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt see it , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [His]_2383-god voice is soft and placating , but it ’s not going to calm [me]_832-ava down . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] too stunned . ‘ Why did n’t [you]_2383-god tell [me]_2383-god ? ’_[2383-god] Oh [[my]_2342-matt God]_2383-god , [he]_2383-god ’s [a glorified pimp]_{2219-a glorified pimp} . ‘ [I]_2383-god thought [you]_2383-god would have grasped The Manors operations on [our]_3551-our first meeting , [Ava]_832-ava . When it became obvious that [you]_2383-god had n’t , it just got harder and harder to tell [you]_2383-god . ’_[2383-god] [My]_2342-matt head hurts . This is like a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle , each piece clicking into place , all so very slowly . [I]_2342-matt told [him]_2383-god [he]_2383-god had [a lovely hotel]_{2398-a lovely hotel} . Oh , [he]_2383-god must think [I]_2342-matt ’m something else . [He]_2383-god dropped enough hints with [his]_2383-god specification and requirements , but because [I]_2342-matt was so distracted by [him]_2383-god , [I]_2342-matt missed [them]_3552-them all . [He]_2383-god owns a sex club ? This is fucking awful . And the sex ? Oh God , the bloody sex . [He]_2383-god really is sexpert extraordinaire , and it ’s not because of previous relationships . [He]_2383-god said [himself]_2383-god that [he]_2383-god did n’t have time for relationships . Now [I]_2342-matt know why . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m going to leave now , and [you]_2342-matt ’re_[2383-god] going to let [me]_2342-matt go . ’ [I]_2342-matt say it with all the determination [I]_2342-matt feel . [I]_2342-matt really have been a play toy to [him]_2383-god . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] way past dense – [I]_2342-matt ’m completely brainless . [He]_2383-god ’s still frantically chewing [his]_2383-god lip as [I]_832-ava side step [him]_2383-god , taking [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} in a complete daze . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , wait . ’ [he]_2383-god pleads , following [me]_832-ava . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] swiftly reminded of the last time [I]_2342-matt was fleeing here . [I]_2342-matt should have kept running . [I]_2342-matt block out [his]_2342-matt voice , concentrating on getting [myself]_2342-matt to [the entrance hall]_{356-the entrance hall} without breaking [my]_2342-matt leg in a fall . [I]_2342-matt pass [the second floor bedrooms]_{2222-the second floor bedrooms} and mentally slap [myself]_2342-matt again . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [baby]_832-ava , please . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt reach the bottom of [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} and fly around to face [him]_2342-matt . ‘ Do n’t even think about it ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout at [him]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt recoils in shock . ‘ [You]_832-ava ’ll let [me]_2342-matt leave . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [You]_832-ava ’ve not even given [me]_2342-matt the chance to explain , ’_[2342-matt] [His]_2342-matt eyes are all wide and full of fear . It ’s not an expression [I]_2342-matt ’m use to from [Jesse]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] Please , let [me]_2342-matt explain . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Explain what ? [I]_2342-matt ’ve seen everything [I]_2342-matt need to see . ’ [I]_2342-matt shout . ‘_[2342-matt] No explanation required ! It all speaks loud and clear for itself . ’ [He]_2342-matt steps towards [me]_2224-me with [his]_2342-matt hands out . ‘_[2224-me] [You]_2224-me were n’t supposed to find out like this . ’ [I]_2224-me ’m_[2224-me] suddenly aware of [an audience]_{2225-an audience} watching [our]_2226-our little altercation . [Sam]_1914-sam , [Drew]_327-jesse and [Kate]_2557-kate are all standing at [the bar entrance]_{2227-the bar entrance} looking uncomfortable … pitiful , even . [John]_832-ava looks grave as [he]_832-ava assesses [Jesse]_327-jesse , and [Sarah]_54-victoria looks as smug as can be . [I]_2342-matt know now that [she]_54-victoria must have picked up [my]_2342-matt message on [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s phone . [She]_54-victoria opened the gates and [she]_54-victoria opened the door . [She]_54-victoria ’s got [her]_54-victoria way . [She]_54-victoria can have [him]_832-ava . [I]_2342-matt do n’t recognise the snide , cocky looking man stood next to [her]_54-victoria , but [he]_832-ava ’s looking at [me]_2342-matt with an unfriendly glare . [I]_2342-matt watch [him]_832-ava turn [his]_832-ava eyes on [Jesse]_327-jesse with a sneer . ‘ What a fuck up [you]_832-ava really are . ’_[832-ava] [he]_832-ava spits at [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s back , [his]_832-ava tone full of hatred . Who the hell is [he]_832-ava ? [I]_2342-matt watch as [John]_832-ava grabs [him]_832-ava by the scruff of the neck , shaking [him]_832-ava a little . ‘ [You]_832-ava ’re_{[2228-a member]} no longer [a member]_{2228-a member} , [mother fucker]_{2229-mother fucker} . [I]_2342-matt ’ll be escorting [you]_2230-you from [the grounds]_{1705-the grounds} . ’ [The cocky creature]_{3554-the cocky creature} laughs a cold sinister laugh . ‘_{[2232-my guest]} Be [[my]_2342-matt guest]_{2232-my guest} . Looks like [your]_2230-you tart has seen the light , [Ward]_327-jesse . ’ [he]_{2232-my guest} hisses . [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s eyes turn black in a nanosecond . ‘_[327-jesse] Shut the fuck up . ’ [John]_832-ava growls . ‘_[327-jesse] Revoked membership , ’ [I]_{2232-my guest} whisper . ‘_{[2232-my guest]} [He]_{2232-my guest} got too excited . ’ [He]_{2232-my guest} directs [his]_{2232-my guest} cold eyes back at [me]_{2232-my guest} . ‘_{[2232-my guest]} [He]_{2232-my guest} takes what [he]_{2232-my guest} wants and leaves a trail of shit behind [him]_{2232-my guest} , ’ [he]_{2232-my guest} snarls , [his]_{2232-my guest} words punching all the air from [my]_{2232-my guest} lungs . [I]_{2232-my guest} notice [Jesse]_327-jesse stiffen from head to toe . ‘_{[2232-my guest]} [He]_{2232-my guest} fucks [them]_2233-them all and fucks [them]_2233-them off . ’ Turning [my]_{2232-my guest} gaze back on [Jesse]_327-jesse , [I]_{2232-my guest} find [his]_{2232-my guest} eyes are still black , [his]_{2232-my guest} frown line a burden on [his]_{2232-my guest} forehead . ‘_{[2232-my guest]} Why ? ’ [I]_{2232-my guest} ask . [I]_{2232-my guest} do n’t know why [I]_{2232-my guest} ’m_{[2232-my guest]} asking this . It ’s not going to make a jot of difference . But [I]_2342-matt feel [I]_2342-matt deserve some sort of explanation . [He]_{2232-my guest} fucks [them]_2233-them all – once – and fucks [them]_2233-them off . ‘ Do n’t listen to [him]_{2232-my guest} , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse steps forward . [I]_2342-matt can see [his]_327-jesse jaw is tense to snapping point . ‘ Ask [him]_327-jesse how [[my]_327-jesse wife]_{3555-my wife} is . ’_[327-jesse] The nasty piece of work spits . ‘ [He]_327-jesse did the same to [her]_{3555-my wife} as [he]_327-jesse did to all the others . [Husbands]_{3556-husbands} and conscience do n’t get in [his]_327-jesse way . ’_[327-jesse] And that ’s all it takes to tip [Jesse]_327-jesse over the edge . [He]_327-jesse turns and flies at [the man]_2342-matt like a bullet , taking [him]_2342-matt clean from [John]_832-ava ’s grasp and to the parquet floor on a loud crash . [Sam]_1914-sam yanks [Kate]_2557-kate back and there are a few gasps , as [everyone]_282-everyone watches [Jesse]_327-jesse kick ten tons of shit out of [the man]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt ’m not compelled to scream at [him]_2342-matt to stop , even though [he]_2342-matt looks like [he]_2342-matt could possibly kill [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt walk out of [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} and get into [[my]_2342-matt car]_{2336-my car} . [Kate]_2557-kate flies down the steps , racing towards [me]_2342-matt . [She]_2557-kate jumps in but does n’t say a word . When [we]_3559-we reach the gates , [they]_3559-we open without [me]_2342-matt stopping . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] surprised – [I]_2342-matt was preparing to ram them down . ‘ [Sam]_1914-sam , ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate says when [I]_2342-matt look at [her]_2557-kate . ‘ [He]_1914-sam said [we]_3559-we ’re_[2557-kate] better off out of here . ’ [I]_2557-kate had n’t considered , until now , that all of this is news to [Kate]_2557-kate as well . [She]_2557-kate seems ever the laid back , take it in [her]_2557-kate stride , [Kate]_2557-kate . [I]_2557-kate , however , feel like [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] freefalling into Hell . Chapter 37 [I]_2342-matt walk through [Kate]_2557-kate ’s front door and straight [upstairs]_{2469-upstairs} to the flat like a zombie . [Bless Kate]_2557-kate . [She]_2557-kate makes no attempt to try and extract more information from [me]_2342-matt . Instead , [she]_2557-kate lets [me]_2342-matt fall onto the sofa in a tear stained heap and brings [me]_2342-matt a cup of tea . [My]_2342-matt eyes widen when the front door slams . [Kate]_2557-kate runs out to the banister . ‘ It ’s just [Sam]_1914-sam . ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate reassures [me]_2342-matt as [she]_2557-kate comes back into [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} . ‘ [He]_1914-sam has a key ? ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt ask . [Kate]_2557-kate shrugs it off , but this small snippet of news has [me]_2342-matt smiling to [myself]_2342-matt . Will [she]_2557-kate take it back in light of this new found knowledge ? [My]_2342-matt phone rings again and [I]_2342-matt reject the call … again . [Sam]_1914-sam steams into [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} , looking as nervous as [he]_1914-sam did at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . [We]_2239-we both look up at [him]_1914-sam as [he]_1914-sam does a little tennis spectator impression , flicking [his]_1914-sam eyes from [me]_2342-matt to [Kate]_2557-kate and back again a few times . Stalking over to [Kate]_2557-kate , [he]_1914-sam all but hauls [her]_2557-kate out of [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} by [her]_2557-kate elbow . ‘ [We]_3560-we need to talk . ’_[1914-sam] [he]_1914-sam says urgently . [I]_2342-matt crane [my]_2342-matt neck around , watching as [he]_1914-sam practically throws [her]_2557-kate into [[her]_2557-kate bedroom]_{614-the lounge} , slamming the door behind [him]_1914-sam . [I]_2342-matt lie on the sofa , [my]_2342-matt tea resting on [my]_2342-matt stomach , and close [my]_2342-matt eyes . [They]_2241-they do n’t stay shut for long . Mental images of [Jesse]_327-jesse are imprinted on [my]_2342-matt brain , and with [my]_2342-matt eyes closed , there ’s no other visual distraction , so they are all the more clearer . [I]_2342-matt ’m never going to be able to sleep again . [My]_2342-matt phone starts again . Reaching down , [I]_2342-matt stab the reject button , staring up at the swirly artex ceiling of [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never felt pain like this before . It ’s excruciating and way beyond fixable . [He]_1914-sam owns [a fucking sex club]_{3561-a fucking sex club} ? Why ? Why could n’t [he]_1914-sam be [a banker]_{3562-a banker} or [a financial advisor]_{3563-a financial advisor} ? Or … [a hotel owner]_{3564-a hotel owner} … [I]_2342-matt knew there was something wrong , something dangerous . Why did n’t [I]_2342-matt take a few moments to try and gather [my]_2342-matt senses ? [I]_2342-matt know exactly why – because [I]_2342-matt was n’t allowed to , [I]_2342-matt was n’t given a chance to . [I]_2342-matt sit up when [I]_2342-matt hear [Kate]_2557-kate ’s high shrill travel across the landing , followed by [Sam]_1914-sam ’s placating tones trying to calm [her]_2557-kate down . [She]_2557-kate flies out of [[her]_2557-kate room]_{3565-her room} with [Sam]_1914-sam in tow . [He]_1914-sam ’s struggling to pull [her]_2557-kate back . ‘_[2342-matt] Get [your]_2242-your fucking hands off [me]_2342-matt , [Samuel]_1914-sam . [She]_2243-she needs to know . ’ ‘_[2557-kate] Wait a minute … [Kate]_2557-kate … arhhhhhh ! What the fuck did [you]_2242-your do that for ? ’ [Kate]_2557-kate retrieves [her]_2557-kate knee from [Sam]_1914-sam ’s groin , leaving [him]_1914-sam in a folded , groaning mess on the landing , before barging into [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} and punching [me]_2557-kate with [her]_2557-kate blue stare . ‘_[2557-kate] What ? ’ [I]_2557-kate ask , apprehensively . What do [I]_2557-kate need to know now ? [She]_2557-kate throws [Sam]_1914-sam a filthy look when [he]_1914-sam appears at the lounge door grasping [his]_1914-sam groin . [I]_2557-kate ’m_[2557-kate] left wondering why [Sam]_1914-sam ’s looking so apologetic when it ’s [Kate]_2557-kate that ’s just kneed [him]_1914-sam in the balls . [She]_2243-she points at the chair aggressively , silently demanding [him]_1914-sam to sit . [He]_1914-sam limps over , lowering [himself]_1914-sam on a painful hiss . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [he]_1914-sam ’s on [his]_1914-sam way over . ’_[2243-she] [she]_2243-she tells [me]_2342-matt calmly . [I]_2342-matt do n’t know why [she]_2243-she chooses this tone . It ’s not going to calm [me]_2342-matt – not at all . [I]_2342-matt gasp , looking at [Sam]_1914-sam sat in the chair , refusing to meet [my]_2342-matt eyes . [He]_1914-sam was n’t going to tell [me]_2342-matt ? [I]_2342-matt was stupid to think [Jesse]_327-jesse would make this easy . ‘ [I]_2342-matt need to leave , ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt wail as [my]_2342-matt damn phone starts again . ‘ Fuck off ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shout at the stupid thing . ‘ Take [her]_2557-kate . ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate swings around to [Sam]_1914-sam . ‘ [She]_2557-kate ’s in no state to drive . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ Oh no , not [me]_1914-sam , ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam holds [his]_1914-sam hands up , shaking [his]_1914-sam head . ‘ It ’s more than [my]_1914-sam life ’s worth . Anyway , [I]_1914-sam need to talk to [you]_1914-sam . ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam jerks [his]_1914-sam head towards [Kate]_2557-kate . [We]_2244-we all jump at the sound of an almighty crash at the door , [my]_2342-matt heart promptly leaping into [my]_2342-matt throat as [I]_2342-matt look at [Kate]_2557-kate . [Sam]_1914-sam groans , and it ’s not because of the pain [Kate]_2557-kate ’s inflicted on [him]_1914-sam . ‘ [You]_2557-kate dirty little turncoat . ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate mutters angrily , piercing [Sam]_1914-sam with [her]_2557-kate sharp , blue eyes . ‘ Hey , [I]_1914-sam did n’t say a fucking word ! ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam ’s on the major defensive . ‘ It would n’t take [a fucking rocket scientist]_{3567-a fucking rocket scientist} to work out where [she]_2557-kate is . ’_[1914-sam] ‘ Do n’t answer it , [Kate]_2557-kate . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt plead . A combination of more bangs play out on the front door . [God]_2383-god , [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to see [him]_1914-sam . [My]_2342-matt defences are not strong enough right now . [I]_2342-matt jump at a succession of more bangs , followed by a chorus of car horns that sound off all around . ‘ For fucks sake , ’_[2342-matt] [Kate]_2557-kate yells , running across [the room]_{2350-the room} to look out of the window . ‘ Shit . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate pulls the blind up , getting up close and personal with the glass . ‘ What ? ’_[2557-kate] [I]_2342-matt join [her]_2557-kate at the window . [I]_2342-matt know it ’s [him]_1914-sam , but what ’s with the racket ? ‘ Look ! ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate yells , pointing down below . [I]_2342-matt force [my]_2342-matt eyes to follow [her]_2557-kate hand and see [[Jesse]_327-jesse ’s car]_{3284-jesse ’s car} abandoned in [the middle of [the street]_{945-the street}]_{2247-the middle of the street} , [[his]_327-jesse driver]_{1590-his driver} ’s door wide open and a line of traffic starting to build up behind it . [He]_327-jesse ’s not left [enough room for [cars]_2251-cars]_{2250-enough room for cars} to pass , causing tempers to flare and car horns to honk . It ’s all clearly audible from up here . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ! ’_[1914-sam] [I]_2342-matt hear [him]_1914-sam bellow . [He]_1914-sam proceeds to thump the door a few more times . ‘ Oh , fucking hell , [Ava]_832-ava , ’_[2557-kate] [Kate]_2557-kate carps . ‘ [That man]_{465-that man} ’s a walking , talking detonate button and [you]_832-ava ’ve just pressed it ! ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate starts stalking out of [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} . [I]_2342-matt rush after [her]_2557-kate . ‘ [I]_2342-matt pressed nothing , [Kate]_2557-kate . Do n’t answer the door ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt lean over the banister , watching [Kate]_2557-kate fly down [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} to the front door . ‘ [I]_2557-kate ca n’t just leave [him]_1914-sam out there causing anarchy on [the street]_{945-the street} . ’_[2557-kate] [She]_2557-kate carries on [her]_2557-kate way . [I]_2342-matt panic and run back into [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} , passing [Sam]_1914-sam , who ’s still sat in the chair rubbing [his]_1914-sam sore spot , mumbling inaudible words . ‘ Why did n’t [you]_832-ava tell [Kate]_2557-kate ? ’_[1914-sam] [I]_2342-matt ask [him]_1914-sam sharply on [my]_2342-matt way back to the window . ‘ [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] sorry , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ ‘_[832-ava] [You]_832-ava need to be apologising to [Kate]_2557-kate , not [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_832-ava turn back , finding no trace of the fun loving , cheeky chap that [I]_832-ava ’ve become so fond of . Instead , there ’s [a tense , uneasy , timid man]_{3570-a tense , uneasy , timid man} . ‘_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt have apologised . And [I]_2342-matt could n’t very well tell [her]_2557-kate until [Jesse]_327-jesse told [you]_832-ava . [You]_832-ava should know , this has been eating away at [him]_1914-sam since [he]_1914-sam met [you]_832-ava . ’ [I]_2557-kate laugh at [Sam]_1914-sam ’s attempt to defend [[his]_1914-sam friend]_1914-sam and look out of the window again . [Jesse]_327-jesse is still pacing outside , clearly desperate , smashing the buttons of [his]_327-jesse mobile . [I]_2557-kate know who [he]_327-jesse ’s calling . And , like [I]_2557-kate knew it would , [my]_2557-kate phone starts shouting in [my]_2557-kate hand . Should [I]_2557-kate answer it and tell [him]_1914-sam to go away ? [I]_2557-kate stare down onto [the street]_{945-the street} , panic flooding [me]_2557-kate when [a driver from one of [the held up cars]_{3573-the held up cars}]_{3572-a driver from one of the held up cars} gets out . Oh God , do n’t challenge [him]_1914-sam ! [Kate]_2557-kate walks out , waving [her]_2557-kate arms at [Jesse]_327-jesse . [He]_{3572-a driver from one of the held up cars} ignores [the driver that ’s]_{3572-a driver from one of the held up cars} approached , turning to [Kate]_2557-kate instead . [His]_{3572-a driver from one of the held up cars} hand gestures are urgent . What ’s [he]_{3572-a driver from one of the held up cars} saying ? What ’s [Kate]_2557-kate saying ? After a few minutes , [Jesse]_327-jesse gets in [[his]_327-jesse car]_{2336-my car} . Relief washes over [my]_2557-kate entire being , but [he]_327-jesse only moves it slightly so it ’s parked in a more considerate fashion , allowing [the other motorists]_{3575-the other motorists} to pass . ‘_[2557-kate] Oh God , [Kate]_2557-kate ! What have [you]_2557-kate done ? ’ [I]_2557-kate yell at the window . ‘_[2557-kate] What ’s going on ? ’ [Sam]_1914-sam asks from [his]_1914-sam chair . [I]_2557-kate do n’t answer [him]_1914-sam . [I]_2557-kate stand , unable to move , watching as [Jesse]_327-jesse leans up against [[my]_2557-kate car]_{2336-my car} , [his]_327-jesse head dropped in defeat , [his]_327-jesse arms hanging by [his]_327-jesse sides . [Kate]_2557-kate ’s arms are wrapped around [herself]_2557-kate as [she]_2557-kate stands in front of [him]_1914-sam . [He]_1914-sam looks up at [her]_2557-kate , and even from here [I]_2557-kate can see the anguish riddling [his]_1914-sam face . [She]_2557-kate reaches over to [him]_1914-sam , rubbing [her]_2557-kate palm up and down [his]_1914-sam arm . It ’s a gesture of comfort . It ’s killing [me]_2557-kate . After an eternity of watching [them]_3576-them on [the street]_{945-the street} , [Kate]_2557-kate finally turns , making [her]_2557-kate way back to [the flat]_{420-the flat} , but to [my]_2557-kate utter horror , [Jesse]_327-jesse starts to follow , and [Kate]_2557-kate makes no attempt to stop [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[2557-kate] Shit , no ! ’ [I]_2557-kate exclaim , throwing [my]_2557-kate hands to [my]_2557-kate head in dread . What ’s [she]_2557-kate thinking ? ‘_[2557-kate] What ? ’ [Sam]_1914-sam shouts anxiously . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava , what ? ’ [I]_832-ava quickly consider [my]_832-ava options . It does n’t take long because there are none , except to stand here and await the confrontation . There is only one way in and one way out of [this flat]_{420-the flat} . And with [Jesse]_327-jesse on [his]_327-jesse way in , any plans to escape the inevitable altercation are totally floored . [Kate]_2557-kate walks into [the lounge]_{614-the lounge} , looking rather sheepish . [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] furious with [her]_832-ava , and [she]_832-ava knows it . [I]_2342-matt pin [her]_832-ava with [my]_2342-matt most filthy stare as [she]_832-ava smiles at [me]_2342-matt nervously . ‘ Just hear [him]_1914-sam out , [Ava]_832-ava . [The man]_1914-sam ’s a mess . ’_[832-ava] [She]_832-ava shakes [her]_832-ava head sorrowfully , then looks at [Sam]_1914-sam , [her]_832-ava expression changing instantly . ‘ [You]_1914-sam , get in [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} ! ’_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam scowls . ‘ [I]_1914-sam ca n’t fucking move , [you]_1914-sam evil cow ! ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam rubs [himself]_1914-sam again , rolling [his]_1914-sam head back on the chair . [Kate]_2557-kate huffs and pulls [him]_1914-sam out of the chair . [He]_1914-sam groans , closing [his]_1914-sam eyes and gingerly limping from [the room]_{2350-the room} . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [her]_832-ava . The treacherous cow ! [She]_832-ava backs out of [the room]_{2350-the room} , giving [me]_2342-matt eyes full of sympathy . [She]_832-ava would n’t have to act so fucking sorry if [she]_832-ava had n’t of let [him]_1914-sam in – [the stupid , stupid woman]_832-ava . [I]_2342-matt turn to face the window before [he]_1914-sam walks in . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t look at [him]_1914-sam . [I]_2342-matt ’ll dissolve into tears if [I]_2342-matt do , and [I]_2342-matt do n’t want [him]_1914-sam to have any excuse to comfort [me]_2342-matt or wrap [his]_1914-sam big warm arms around [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt brace [myself]_2342-matt for [his]_1914-sam voice to wash over [me]_2342-matt , every frazzled nerve ending buzzing and every muscle tense . [I]_2342-matt hear nothing . But as every hair on the back of [my]_2342-matt neck tingles , standing upright , [I]_2342-matt know [he]_1914-sam ’s near . [My]_2342-matt body ’s response to [his]_1914-sam potent presence has [me]_2342-matt closing [my]_2342-matt eyes , taking a deep breath and praying for strength . ‘ Please , look at [me]_1914-sam , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[1914-sam] [His]_1914-sam voice is quivering , full of emotion . [I]_2342-matt swallow the tennis ball sized lump in [my]_2342-matt throat , fighting back a barrage of tears that are pooling in [my]_2342-matt eyes . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , please . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt feel [his]_1914-sam hand brush down the back of [my]_2342-matt arm . [I]_2342-matt flinch at the contact . ‘ Please , do n’t touch [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt find the courage [I]_2342-matt need to turn round and face [him]_1914-sam . [His]_1914-sam head is dropped , [his]_1914-sam shoulders sagged . [He]_1914-sam looks pitiful , but [I]_2342-matt must n’t be swayed by [his]_1914-sam sorrowful state . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been influenced too many times by manipulation , and this ... this is just another form of manipulation … [Jesse]_327-jesse style . [I]_2342-matt ’ve been so blinded with lust , [I]_2342-matt have n’t been seeing straight . [His]_1914-sam glazed eyes pull [themselves]_{2255-themselves} from the floor to meet [mine]_2342-matt . ‘ Why did [you]_2342-matt even take [me]_2342-matt there ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ask . ‘ Because [I]_2342-matt want [you]_2342-matt with [me]_2342-matt all of the time , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t be away from [you]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Well , [you]_2342-matt ’d better get use to it because [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to see [you]_2342-matt again . ’_[2342-matt] [My]_2342-matt voice is calm and controlled , but the pain that slices through [my]_2342-matt heart in response to [my]_2342-matt own words is enough to floor [me]_2342-matt on the spot . [His]_1914-sam eyes swim , searching [mine]_2342-matt . ‘ [You]_2342-matt do n’t mean that . [I]_1914-sam know [you]_2342-matt do n’t mean that . ’_[1914-sam] ‘ [I]_1914-sam mean it . ’_[1914-sam] [His]_1914-sam chest is expanding on each deep inhale , [his]_1914-sam hair in disarray and [his]_1914-sam frown line a crater across [his]_1914-sam forehead . The distress splashed across [his]_1914-sam face is like an ice spear through [my]_2342-matt heart . ‘ [I]_1914-sam never meant to hurt [you]_2342-matt . ’_[1914-sam] [he]_1914-sam murmurs . ‘ Well , [you]_2342-matt have . [You]_2342-matt ’ve trampled into [my]_1914-sam life and trampled all over [my]_1914-sam heart . [I]_1914-sam tried to walk away . [I]_1914-sam knew there was more than meets the eye . Why did n’t [you]_2342-matt let [me]_1914-sam walk away ? ’_[1914-sam] [My]_2342-matt voice starts to trail off as the gravel in [my]_2342-matt throat starts to win the battle and tears start to pinch at [my]_2342-matt eyes . Damn [me]_2342-matt , [I]_2342-matt should have listened to [my]_2342-matt instincts . [He]_1914-sam starts chewing [his]_1914-sam bottom lip . ‘ [You]_2342-matt never really wanted to walk away . ’_[1914-sam] [His]_1914-sam voice is barely audible . ‘ Yes , [I]_2342-matt did ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt blurt on a sniffle . ‘ [I]_1914-sam fought [you]_2342-matt off . [I]_1914-sam knew [I]_1914-sam was heading for trouble , but [you]_2342-matt were relentless . What happened ? Did [you]_2342-matt run out of [married women]_{3581-married women} to fuck ? ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam shakes [his]_1914-sam head . ‘ No , [I]_1914-sam found [you]_2342-matt . ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam steps forward , and [I]_2342-matt remove [myself]_2342-matt from [his]_1914-sam reach . ‘ Get out . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say calmly , [my]_2342-matt body shaking , [my]_2342-matt breathing hitching – all evidence that [I]_2342-matt ’m far from calm . [I]_2342-matt barge past [him]_1914-sam , knocking [his]_1914-sam shoulder . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t . [I]_2342-matt need [you]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . ’ [His]_1914-sam pleading voice is going to haunt [me]_832-ava for the rest of [my]_832-ava days . [I]_832-ava swing around violently . ‘_[832-ava] [You]_2342-matt do n’t need [me]_2342-matt ! ’ [I]_832-ava fight to keep [my]_832-ava voice solid . ‘_[832-ava] [You]_2342-matt want [me]_2342-matt . Oh God , [you]_2342-matt are [a dominant]_{2256-a dominant} , are n’t [you]_2342-matt ? ’ Flashes of all [our]_3582-our sexual encounters pass through [my]_2342-matt mind at a hundred miles an hour . [He]_1914-sam ’s truly fierce in [the bedroom]_{535-the bedroom} and pretty fierce outside it too . ‘_[2342-matt] No ! ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Why the control issue then ? And the dominance and commands ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] The sex is just sex . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t get close enough to [you]_2342-matt . The control is because [I]_2342-matt ’m frightened to death that something will happen to [you]_2342-matt … that [you]_2342-matt ’ll be taken away from [me]_2257-he . [I]_2257-he ’ve waited too long for [you]_2342-matt , [Ava]_832-ava . [I]_2257-he ’ll do anything to keep [you]_2342-matt safe . [I]_2257-he ’ve lived a life with little control or care . Believe [me]_2257-he , [I]_2257-he need [you]_2342-matt … please ... please do n’t leave [me]_2257-he , ’_[2257-he] [He]_2257-he walks towards [me]_2342-matt , but [I]_2342-matt step back , fighting the instinct to let [him]_2257-he swathe [me]_2342-matt . [He]_2257-he stops . ‘ [I]_2257-he ’ll never recover . ’_[2257-he] What ? No ! [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]_2257-he ’s being so cruel as to use emotional blackmail . ‘ Do [you]_2342-matt think this is going to be any easier for [me]_2342-matt ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt scream , the tears starting to flow rapidly . The little colour that was left in [his]_2257-he face drains out before [my]_2342-matt eyes . [He]_2257-he drops [his]_2257-he head . [He]_2257-he has no come back to that . What can [he]_2257-he say ? [He]_2257-he knows what [he]_2257-he ’s done to [me]_2342-matt . [He]_2257-he ’s made [me]_2342-matt need [him]_2257-he . ‘ If [I]_2257-he could change how [I]_2257-he ’ve handled things , [I]_2257-he would . ’_[2257-he] [he]_2257-he whispers . ‘ But [you]_2257-he ca n’t . The damage is done . ’_[2257-he] [My]_2342-matt tone oozes contempt . [He]_2257-he looks up at [me]_2342-matt . ‘ The damage will be worse if [you]_2257-he leave [me]_2257-he . ’_[2257-he] Oh God . ‘ Get out ! ’_[2257-he] ‘ No , ’_[2257-he] [He]_2257-he shakes [his]_2257-he head frantically , taking a step towards [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , please , [I]_2257-he ’m_[2257-he] begging [you]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt move away from [him]_2257-he , mustering up [my]_2342-matt most determined expression , swallowing constantly to keep the lump in [my]_2342-matt throat at bay . This is so incredibly painful . This is exactly why [I]_2342-matt could n’t see [him]_2257-he . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] so angry with [him]_2257-he , but seeing [him]_2257-he so whitewashed is heart - breaking . [I]_2342-matt have to keep reminding [myself]_2342-matt that [he]_2257-he ’s let [me]_2342-matt down in the cruellest way . [He]_2257-he ’s misled [me]_2342-matt , deceived [me]_2342-matt and , essentially , bullied [me]_2342-matt into bed with [him]_2257-he . [You]_2342-matt let [me]_2342-matt fall in love with [you]_2342-matt ! [He]_2257-he stares at [me]_2342-matt , the pain in [his]_2257-he sludgy eyes immeasurable . [I]_2342-matt ’ll cave if [I]_2342-matt do n’t look away – so [I]_2342-matt do . [I]_2342-matt drop [my]_2342-matt gaze to the floor and silently beg [him]_2257-he to leave before [I]_2342-matt fall apart and welcome the comfort [he]_2257-he always gives [me]_2342-matt . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , look at [me]_2342-matt . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt take a deep breath , turning [my]_2342-matt eyes to [his]_2257-he . ‘ Goodbye , [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Please . ’_[2257-he] [he]_2257-he mouths . ‘ [I]_2257-he said , goodbye . ’_[2257-he] The words carry an air of finality that [I]_2342-matt really do not mean . [He]_2257-he searches [my]_2342-matt face for such a long time , but eventually , [he]_2257-he abandons trying to find any scrap of hope in [my]_2342-matt eyes , [he]_2257-he turns , and [he]_2257-he silently leaves . [I]_2342-matt provide [my]_2342-matt lungs with the desperate rush of breath [they]_2258-they need , walking on [my]_2342-matt unstable legs to the window . The front door slams , vibrating through [the house]_{308-the place} , and [Jesse]_327-jesse appears , dragging [himself]_327-jesse to [[his]_327-jesse semi - abandoned car]_{2476-his car} . [I]_2342-matt flinch , letting out a sob as [he]_327-jesse smashes [his]_327-jesse fist through the window of [[his]_327-jesse car]_{2476-his car} , sending shards of glass spraying all over [the road]_{2482-the road} . [He]_327-jesse throws [himself]_327-jesse in and repeatedly punches the steering wheel . After what seems like years of watching [him]_327-jesse pound on [[his]_327-jesse car]_{2476-his car} , [he]_327-jesse roars off , tyres screeching , car horns blaring . * * * [I]_2342-matt get out of the shower and dry [my]_2342-matt hair before resuming fetal position on [my]_2342-matt bed . [I]_2342-matt ’m completely numb . [I]_2342-matt feel like [my]_2342-matt heart has been ripped out , trampled on and shoved back into [my]_2342-matt chest a battered mess . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] somewhere between grief and devastation , and it ’s the most painful thing [I]_2342-matt ’ve ever experienced . [My]_2342-matt life has fallen apart . [I]_2342-matt feel empty , betrayed , lonely and lost . The only person that can make any of this better is the person that ’s made it all happen . [I]_2342-matt do n’t feel like [I]_2342-matt ’m ever going to recover from this . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava ? ’ [I]_832-ava lift [my]_832-ava pounding head from [my]_832-ava pillow , finding [Kate]_2557-kate stood in [my]_832-ava doorway . The sympathy on [her]_2557-kate face enflames the hurt a little bit more . [She]_2557-kate perches on the edge of the bed , stroking [my]_832-ava cheek . ‘_[832-ava] It does n’t have to be like this . ’ [she]_2557-kate says softly . How so ? How can it be any other way ? [I]_832-ava just have to ride out this pain and see if [I]_832-ava have the strength to deal with any of it . Start all over again . But at the moment , [I]_832-ava ’m_[832-ava] content just lying here feeling sorry for [myself]_2342-matt . ‘ Yes , it does . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt reply on a whisper . ‘ No , it does n’t . ’_[832-ava] [She]_832-ava ’s firmer this time . ‘ [You]_832-ava still love [him]_2342-matt . Admit [you]_832-ava still love [him]_2342-matt . Did [you]_832-ava tell [him]_2342-matt ? ’_[832-ava] [I]_2342-matt ca n’t deny it . [I]_2342-matt do . [I]_2342-matt love [him]_2342-matt – so much it hurts . But [I]_2342-matt should n’t love [him]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt know [I]_2342-matt should n’t . ‘ [I]_2342-matt ca n’t . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt turn [my]_2342-matt face into [my]_2342-matt pillow . ‘ Why ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [He]_2342-matt owns [a sex club]_{3584-a sex club} , [Kate]_2557-kate . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [He]_2342-matt did n’t know how to tell [you]_2557-kate . [He]_2342-matt was worried [you]_2557-kate would walk away . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look at [Kate]_2557-kate . ‘ Well , [he]_2342-matt did n’t tell [me]_2342-matt , and [I]_2342-matt ’ve still walked away . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt settle back down into [my]_2342-matt tear drenched pillow . ‘ [You]_2557-kate heard [that man]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt destroys marriages . [He]_2342-matt screws [women]_348-women for fun . ’_[2342-matt] Why is [she]_2557-kate being so defensive ? ‘ Why are [you]_2557-kate not shocked ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt mutter into [my]_2342-matt pillow . [I]_2342-matt know [she]_2557-kate ’s laid back , but this is shocking stuff . ‘ [I]_2557-kate am … a bit . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ [You]_2557-kate could ’ve fooled [me]_2557-kate . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [Jesse]_327-jesse has n’t so much as looked at [another woman]_{2697-another woman} since [he]_327-jesse met [you]_2557-kate . [The man]_2342-matt is crazy about [you]_2557-kate . [Sam]_1914-sam never thought [he]_2342-matt ’d see the day . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ [Sam]_1914-sam can say what [he]_2342-matt likes , [Kate]_2557-kate . It does n’t change the fact that [he]_2342-matt owns [a place where [people]_372-people go to have sex and [he]_2342-matt sometime joins in]_{308-the place} . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt shudder , feeling sick at the thought . Crazy about [me]_2342-matt ? That ’s total crap . ‘ [You]_2557-kate ca n’t punish [him]_2342-matt because of [his]_2342-matt past . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ It ’s not [his]_2342-matt past , though , is it ? [He]_2342-matt still owns [the place]_{308-the place} . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ It ’s [his]_2342-matt business . ’_[2557-kate] ‘ Oh , leave [me]_2342-matt alone , [Kate]_2557-kate . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt spit . [Her]_2263-she defending all of this is just pissing [me]_2342-matt off . [She]_2263-she should be supporting [me]_2342-matt , not trying to justify [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s misdemeanours . [I]_2342-matt feel [her]_2263-she weight lift from the bed on a sigh . ‘ [He]_327-jesse ’s still [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’_[2263-she] [she]_2263-she says as [she]_2263-she leaves [[my]_2342-matt bedroom]_{2495-my bedroom} , and [me]_2342-matt alone to mourn [my]_2342-matt loss . [I]_2342-matt lay in silence trying to rid [my]_2342-matt head of all the inevitable thoughts . It ’s no good . [My]_2342-matt brain is assaulted by flashbacks of the last few weeks . Of [our]_2265-our first meeting when [he]_327-jesse floored [me]_2342-matt , the texts and the calls and then the stalking … and the sex . [I]_2342-matt flip [myself]_2342-matt onto [my]_2342-matt stomach , sinking [my]_2342-matt face into [my]_2342-matt pillow . [Kate]_2557-kate ’s words keep pin - balling around in [my]_2342-matt mind “ [he]_327-jesse ’s still [Jesse]_327-jesse ” . Do [I]_2342-matt even know who [Jesse]_327-jesse is ? All [I]_2342-matt know is [a man who swept [me]_2342-matt up in [his]_327-jesse intensity and blindsided [me]_2342-matt with [his]_327-jesse physical being]_327-jesse . Another piece of the puzzle falls into place when [I]_2342-matt recall [him]_327-jesse telling [me]_2342-matt that [he]_327-jesse has no contact with [[his]_327-jesse parents]_{3374-his parents} . [They]_{3374-his parents} disowned [him]_327-jesse when [[his]_327-jesse uncle]_{2191-his uncle} died and [Jesse]_327-jesse refused to sell [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} . It makes sense now . It had nothing to do with the inheritance or sharing [the estate]_{2356-the manor} , and all to do with [[their]_{3374-his parents} twenty one year old son]_{2269-their twenty one year old son} being left to run [a super posh sex club]_{2270-a super posh sex club} . Of course [they]_{3374-his parents} would be concerned , and probably highly pissed . [Their]_{3374-his parents} disapproval of [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s relationship with [Carmichael]_327-jesse is absolutely warranted . [Christ]_72-jesus , did [Carmichael]_327-jesse encourage [Jesse]_327-jesse to pursue that lifestyle ? [Jesse]_327-jesse even said [he]_327-jesse was having the time of [his]_327-jesse life . [What young man]_{2271-what young man} would n’t be in [a house]_{299-a house} where anything goes ? [He]_327-jesse really has had lots of practice . And there ’s a distinct possibility that [he]_327-jesse really has never fucked [a woman]_{395-a woman} more than once – apart from [me]_2342-matt . It does n’t take [Einstein]_263-einstein to figure out why [I]_2342-matt was being chucked the evils by all of [those women when [I]_2342-matt was at [The Manor]_850-there]_{2274-those women when i was at the manor} . [They]_{2274-those women when i was at the manor} all want [him]_327-jesse . No , [they]_{2274-those women when i was at the manor} all want [him]_327-jesse again . [He]_327-jesse played it risky by taking [me]_2342-matt [there]_850-there , but when [I]_2342-matt think carefully , [no one]_{2594-no one} ever approached [me]_2342-matt – [I]_2342-matt was never alone , never free to roam . Did [everyone]_282-everyone know [I]_2342-matt was oblivious ? Were [they]_282-everyone under instruction to keep quiet , to stay away ? [I]_2342-matt must be a complete laughing stock . [He]_327-jesse really did go out of [his]_327-jesse way to keep [me]_2342-matt in the dark . How did [he]_327-jesse think [he]_327-jesse could get away with it ? [Sarah]_54-victoria ’s comment on leathers ... [I]_2342-matt push [my]_2342-matt face into the pillow in complete despair . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look up and see [Sam]_1914-sam stood in the doorway , looking as deflated as [he]_327-jesse was earlier . ‘ [He]_327-jesse beat [himself]_327-jesse up on a daily basis trying to think of how [he]_327-jesse could tell [you]_327-jesse . [I]_1914-sam ’ve never seen [him]_327-jesse like this before . ’_[1914-sam] ‘ [You]_327-jesse mean rejected ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say sarcastically . ‘ No , [I]_2342-matt ca n’t imagine [Jesse Ward]_327-jesse did get many knock backs . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ No , [I]_1914-sam mean crazy about [a woman]_{395-a woman} . ’_[1914-sam] ‘ Oh , [he]_327-jesse ’s crazy all right . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt laugh . [Sam]_1914-sam frowns , shaking [his]_1914-sam head . ‘ Yes , crazy about [you]_327-jesse . ’_[1914-sam] ‘ No , [Sam]_1914-sam . [Jesse]_327-jesse is crazy about controlling and manipulating [me]_1914-sam . ’_[1914-sam] ‘ Do [you]_327-jesse mind ? ’_[1914-sam] [he]_1914-sam asks , standing at the edge of [my]_2342-matt bed . ‘ Help [yourself]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt grumble uncharitably . [He]_1914-sam perches on the edge of the bed . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never seen [him]_1914-sam so serious . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [I]_2342-matt ’ve known [Jesse]_327-jesse for eight years . Not once have [I]_2342-matt seen [him]_1914-sam behave like this over [a woman]_{395-a woman} . [He]_1914-sam ’s never had a relationship beyond sex , but [you]_327-jesse came along and it ’s like [he]_1914-sam found purpose . [He]_1914-sam ’s [a different man]_1914-sam , and while [you]_327-jesse might have been frustrated over [his]_1914-sam protectiveness , as [a friend]_{2645-a friend} , [I]_2342-matt was happy to see [him]_1914-sam finally care so much to behave like that . [Please]_116-please , give [him]_1914-sam a chance . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [He]_1914-sam was n’t just protective , [Sam]_1914-sam . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say tiredly . Protectiveness is just the start of a long list of unreasonable ways . ‘ [He]_1914-sam ’s still [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’_[1914-sam] [Sam]_1914-sam repeats [Kate]_2557-kate ’s words , looking at [me]_2342-matt pleadingly . ‘ [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} is a business . Yes , [he]_1914-sam mixed business with pleasure , but [he]_1914-sam had nothing else . It all changed when [you]_3593-you fell into [his]_1914-sam life . ’_[1914-sam] ‘ [I]_1914-sam ca n’t wrap [my]_1914-sam head around all of this , [Sam]_1914-sam . ’_[1914-sam] [He]_1914-sam smiles , picking [my]_2342-matt hand up in [his]_1914-sam . ‘ If [you]_3593-you can tell [me]_1914-sam that [you]_3593-you can walk away from [him]_1914-sam , no second thoughts or regrets , then [I]_1914-sam ’ll shut up now and leave . If [you]_3593-you can tell [me]_1914-sam that [you]_3593-you do n’t love [him]_1914-sam , [I]_1914-sam ’ll walk away . But [I]_1914-sam do n’t think [you]_2278-you can . [You]_2278-you ’re_[1914-sam] shocked , [I]_2342-matt realise that . And yes , [he]_1914-sam has a history , but [you]_2278-you ca n’t ignore the fact that [he]_1914-sam adores [you]_2278-you , [Ava]_832-ava . It ’s written all over [his]_1914-sam face , expressed in everything [he]_1914-sam does . Please , give [him]_1914-sam a chance . [He]_1914-sam deserves a chance . ’ [Sam]_1914-sam ’s pleading speech on behalf of [[his]_1914-sam friend]_1914-sam sounds like it ’s been well prepared and rehearsed . Maybe it has . [They]_3594-they must have known [I]_1914-sam ’d find out eventually . Can [I]_1914-sam get past this shit ? [I]_1914-sam know [I]_1914-sam ’m_[1914-sam] not doing [myself]_2342-matt any favours laying here , kicking [my]_2342-matt sorry arse around in circles . [I]_2342-matt ’m trying to deal with something [I]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} just do n’t understand and probably never will . [He]_1914-sam owns [a sex club]_{3584-a sex club} . This crap does n’t feature into [my]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} idea of a normal , happy ever after . Could [I]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} ever trust [him]_1914-sam ? [He]_1914-sam cares enough to behave like this ? [He]_1914-sam adores [me]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} ? Does adore equal love ? [I]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} ignored all of [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s pillow talk in the beginning . All of the “ [you]_2280-you ’re_{[2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table]} [mine]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} ” crap and [his]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} declaration of never letting [me]_2342-matt leave rubbish . [He]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} said the word love a lot , but not in the context [I]_2342-matt so desperately wanted to hear . “ [I]_2342-matt love [you]_2280-you in lace ” , “ [I]_2342-matt love sleepy sex with [you]_2280-you ” , “ [I]_2342-matt love having [you]_2280-you [here ”]_{2281-here ”} . Should [I]_2342-matt have looked further into all of it ? Was [he]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} telling [me]_2342-matt what [I]_2342-matt wanted to hear but in a backwards way ? [He]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} persistently sought reassurance from [me]_2342-matt that [I]_2342-matt would stay . If all [he]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} needed was comfort that [I]_2342-matt was staying put , then [I]_2342-matt did that plenty of times , did n’t [I]_2342-matt ? [I]_2342-matt always told [him]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} [I]_2342-matt would stay . But [I]_2342-matt did n’t know about [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} then . And now [I]_2342-matt do , and [I]_2342-matt ’ve left . [He]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} always wanted [me]_2342-matt in lace , not leather . [He]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} claimed [me]_2342-matt as [his]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} . [He]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} was possessive to the absolute maximum – unreasonably so . [He]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} always wanted to keep [me]_2342-matt covered , never wanting [me]_2342-matt to be exposed to [anyone]_2475-anyone but [him]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} . Leather , sharing and the exposure of female flesh must be a regular occurrence at [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , surely . Was [he]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} was trying to make [me]_2342-matt the complete opposite of everything [he]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} knows ? Everything [he]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} ’s use to ? But what about the sex ? [I]_2342-matt sit up . [I]_2342-matt need to talk to [him]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} . [I]_2342-matt can get over [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , [I]_2342-matt think . But [I]_2342-matt know , for absolutely sure , [I]_2342-matt ’ll never get over [Jesse]_327-jesse . This is an easy decision really . Seeing [him]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} so fraught and desperate must at least mean [he]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} ’s hurting , surely ? [He]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} would n’t behave like that if [I]_2342-matt did n’t mean something to [him]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} , would [he]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} ? So many questions … [I]_2342-matt look at [Sam]_1914-sam . A small smile spreads across [his]_1914-sam cheeky face . ‘ [My]_1914-sam work here is done . ’_[1914-sam] [he]_1914-sam mimics [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s words as [he]_1914-sam gets up on a little wince . ‘ That evil cow , [she]_2557-kate ’ll be moaning when [I]_1914-sam ca n’t perform . ’_[1914-sam] [I]_2342-matt smile on the inside . This bombshell , obviously , has n’t affected [Kate]_2557-kate in the same way it has [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt throw on the nearest clothes [I]_2342-matt can find – which happen to be ripped jeans and a Jimmy Hendrix t - shirt – and grab [my]_2342-matt car keys . Tears flood [my]_2342-matt eyes and guilt punches a great hole in the stomach . [I]_2342-matt ’ve made a monumental fuck up . [He]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} was [the one who wanted the cards on the table]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} . [He]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} was going to tell [me]_2342-matt about [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} , but was there something else [he]_{2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table} wanted to tell [me]_2342-matt ? [I]_2342-matt hope so , because [I]_2342-matt ’m on [my]_832-ava way to find out . [Sarah]_54-victoria ’s warning about building dreams on [Jesse]_327-jesse comes crashing back into [my]_832-ava mind as [I]_832-ava race down to [[my]_832-ava car]_{3284-jesse ’s car} . Maybe , [she]_54-victoria ’s right , but [I]_832-ava ca n’t live not knowing . Chapter 38 [I]_832-ava drive to [Lusso]_66-lusso in a stupid fashion , overtaking , banging [my]_832-ava car horn impatiently and running a few red lights . When [I]_832-ava pull up at [the docks]_{2630-the docks} , [I]_832-ava see [[Jesse]_327-jesse ’s car]_{3284-jesse ’s car} parked on an angle , spanning two of [[his]_327-jesse allocated spaces]_{3598-his allocated spaces} . [I]_832-ava abandon [[my]_832-ava Mini]_{2340-my mini} on [the road]_{2482-the road} , let [myself]_832-ava in the pedestrian gate – thanking all that ’s holy [I]_832-ava remember the code – and rush into [the foyer]_{2536-the foyer} , finding [Clive]_101-clive at the concierge desk . [He]_327-jesse ’s looking more cheerful than usual . ‘_[832-ava] [Ava]_832-ava ! [I]_2342-matt ’ve finally got the hang of all this ruddy equipment . ’ [he]_327-jesse declares delightedly . [I]_101-clive brace [myself]_101-clive on the high , marble counter to catch [my]_101-clive breath . ‘_[101-clive] Great , [Clive]_101-clive . [I]_2342-matt told [you]_101-clive it would come . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Are [you]_101-clive okay ? ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m fine . [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] just going up to [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’ The phone on the desk starts ringing , and [Clive]_101-clive holds [his]_101-clive finger up in a signal for [me]_{264-mr holland} to excuse [him]_101-clive for a second . ‘_{[264-mr holland]} [Mr Holland]_{264-mr holland} ? Yes Sir , of course , [Sir]_327-jesse . ’ [He]_101-clive hangs up , scribbling a few notes on [his]_101-clive pad . ‘_[327-jesse] Sorry about that . ’ ‘_[327-jesse] That ’s okay . [I]_2342-matt ’ll make [my]_2342-matt way up . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] Ah , [Ava]_832-ava , [Mr Ward]_327-jesse has n’t notified [me]_2342-matt of [your]_327-jesse visit . ’ [He]_101-clive scans [his]_101-clive screen . [I]_327-jesse gape at [him]_101-clive . Is [he]_101-clive having [me]_327-jesse on ? [He]_101-clive ’s seen [Jesse]_327-jesse carry [me]_327-jesse in and out of [this place]_310-whoever on numerous occasions . What ’s [he]_101-clive playing at ? [I]_327-jesse smile sweetly . ‘_[327-jesse] How are [you]_327-jesse finding the job , [Clive]_101-clive ? ’ [He]_101-clive immediately becomes willing and animated . ‘_[101-clive] Well , [I]_2342-matt ’m basically [a personal assistant to [thirteen filthy rich residents]_{3604-thirteen filthy rich residents}]_{3603-a personal assistant to thirteen filthy rich residents} , but [I]_101-clive love it . [You]_327-jesse should hear some of the requests [I]_101-clive get . Yesterday , [Mr Daniels]_{265-mr daniels} asked [me]_101-clive to organise a chopper ride over [the city]_{2326-the city} for [[his]_101-clive daughter]_{3606-his daughter} and [three friends]_{3607-three friends} and … ’_[101-clive] [He]_101-clive leans over the counter , lowering [his]_101-clive voice . ‘ [Mr Gomez]_{266-mr gomez} up on fifth , [he]_101-clive has [a different woman]_{3608-a different woman} every day of the week . And [Mr Holland]_{264-mr holland} seems to have a thing for the Thai birds . But keep that to [yourself]_{264-mr holland} . It ’s all confidential . ’_[101-clive] [He]_101-clive winks , and [I]_2342-matt wonder what [Jesse]_327-jesse has had [him]_101-clive do or arrange . [Organise]_267-organise for [his]_101-clive smashed car window to be fixed would be a start . ‘ Wow , it sounds very interesting . [I]_2285-you ’m_[2285-you] glad [you]_2285-you ’re enjoying it , [Clive]_101-clive . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt broaden [my]_2342-matt smile at [him]_101-clive . ‘ Do [you]_2285-you mind if [I]_2342-matt head up ? ’_[2342-matt] ‘ [I]_2342-matt need to call first , [Ava]_832-ava . ’_[2342-matt] ‘ Call then ! ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt huff impatiently , standing and shifting irritably , while [Clive]_101-clive rings up to [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} . [He]_101-clive hangs up and dials again . ‘ [I]_101-clive ’m_[101-clive] sure [I]_2342-matt saw [him]_101-clive pass through . ’ [he]_101-clive mutters on a frown . ‘_[101-clive] Maybe , [I]_2342-matt did n’t . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [[His]_101-clive car]_{2476-his car} ’s outside , [he]_101-clive must be [here]_314-here , ’ [I]_101-clive push frantically . ‘_[101-clive] Try again . ’ [I]_101-clive point to the telephone . [Clive]_101-clive presses a few buttons again as [I]_101-clive look on . [He]_101-clive hangs up again , shaking [his]_101-clive head . ‘_[101-clive] No , [he]_101-clive ’s definitely not there . And [he]_101-clive has n’t put a DND on [his]_101-clive system , so [he]_101-clive ’s not asleep or busy . [He]_101-clive must have gone out . ’ [I]_101-clive frown . ‘_[101-clive] [DND]_268-dnd ? ’ ‘_[268-dnd] Do not disturb . ’ ‘_[268-dnd] Oh . [Clive]_101-clive , [I]_2342-matt know [he]_101-clive ’s [home]_281-home . Please , can [I]_2342-matt go up ? ’ [I]_2342-matt plead . [I]_2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]_101-clive ’s being so difficult . [He]_101-clive leans over [his]_101-clive desk , narrows [his]_101-clive eyes on [me]_2342-matt and looks to either side , checking [the coast]_{3609-the coast} is clear . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt can get in serious trouble for not following protocol , but as it ’s [you]_101-clive , [Ava]_832-ava , ’ [He]_101-clive winks . ‘_[832-ava] Go on . ’ [He]_101-clive thumbs over [his]_101-clive shoulder and straightens [his]_101-clive green hat . ‘_[101-clive] Thanks , [Clive]_101-clive . ’ [I]_101-clive jump in [the elevator]_{780-the elevator} , punch in the code and pray [he]_101-clive has n’t got around to re - programming it in the short time [I]_101-clive ’ve been gone . [I]_101-clive let out a relieved breath of air when the doors close and [I]_101-clive start [my]_101-clive journey to [the penthouse]_{2332-the penthouse} . [He]_101-clive ’s got to answer the door yet – [I]_101-clive do n’t have a key . [My]_101-clive stomach does a few three sixties as the elevator door slides open and [I]_101-clive ’m_[101-clive] faced with the double doors into [[Jesse]_327-jesse ’s apartment]_{2332-the penthouse} . [I]_2342-matt frown to [myself]_2342-matt . The door ’s open and there ’s music – very loud music . [I]_2342-matt walk to the door , gently pushing it open , [my]_2342-matt ears instantly bombarded from every direction by an extremely powerful and poignant , but equally sad track . [I]_2342-matt recognise it instantly – [Angel]_{228-massive attack ’s angel} . The words hit [me]_2342-matt like a thunderbolt , immediately putting [me]_2342-matt on guard . Right now , it sounds so loud and depressing , not soft and ardent like it was when [we]_2291-we made love . [I]_2342-matt need to find a remote control so [I]_2342-matt can turn it down , or off . It ’s so affecting . And with it coming from all of [the integrated speakers]_{2292-the integrated speakers} , there ’s no escaping it . Maybe [he]_2293-he ’s not [here]_314-here . Maybe the system has malfunctioned because [he]_2293-he could n’t possibly sustain this noise level for long . But the door was wide open . [I]_2342-matt clamp [my]_2342-matt hands over [my]_2342-matt ears as [I]_2342-matt glance around the huge space trying to locate a remote control . Running into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , [I]_2342-matt spot one on [the island]_{2653-the island} and quickly find the volume button to turn the music down – a lot . Once [I]_2342-matt ’ve taken care of the noise levels , [I]_2342-matt go in search of [him]_2293-he , making [my]_2342-matt way through [the open plan area]_{2297-the open plan area} . As [I]_2342-matt reach [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , [I]_2342-matt kick something and watch as it clatters across the floor . [I]_2342-matt pick up the glass bottle and place it on the console unit at the bottom of [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} before taking them two at a time . [I]_2342-matt go straight to [the master suite]_{694-the master suite} , but [he]_2293-he ’s not in there . [I]_2342-matt proceed to frantically search [every other room on the floor]_{2300-every other room on the floor} . [He]_2293-he ’s in none of [them]_{272-the stairs} . Where is [he]_2293-he ? [I]_2342-matt get half way down [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , stopping abruptly when [my]_2342-matt eyes land on the empty bottle that [I]_2342-matt scooped up . It ’s vodka . Well , it was . It ’s been drained dry . A wave of uneasiness rolls over [me]_2342-matt as a million thoughts invade [my]_2342-matt head . [I]_2342-matt ’ve never seen [Jesse]_327-jesse drink – not ever . Every time alcohol has been on offer , [he]_2293-he ’s refused , ordering water instead . It never occurred to [me]_2342-matt to wonder why . Have [I]_2342-matt ever seen [him]_2293-he drink ? No , [I]_2342-matt do n’t think [I]_2342-matt have . Now , looking at the empty bottle of vodka placed carefully on the table and thinking about how carelessly it was tossed on the floor , something is n’t right . ‘ Oh , please no . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt whisper to [myself]_2342-matt . [His]_2293-he insistence on [me]_2342-matt not drinking on Friday comes rushing back into [my]_2342-matt mind like a tidal wave . [Our]_2301-our little altercation in [The Blue Bar]_{1105-the blue bar} , when [he]_2293-he tried to force feed [me]_2342-matt some water , suddenly does n’t seem so unusual or unreasonable . [I]_2342-matt hear a crash , [my]_2342-matt eyes snapping from the empty bottle of vodka to [the outside terrace]_{2303-the outside terrace} . The huge glass doors are open . [I]_2342-matt sprint the rest of the way down [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , across [the living space]_{2305-the living space} , skidding to a halt at the doors when [I]_2342-matt see [Jesse]_327-jesse struggling to get [himself]_327-jesse up from [one of [the sun loungers]_{2307-the sun loungers}]_{2306-one of the sun loungers} . Have [I]_2342-matt had [my]_2342-matt eyes closed for the past few weeks ? [I]_2342-matt ’ve missed so much . [He]_327-jesse has a towel wrapped around [his]_327-jesse waist and a bottle of vodka in [his]_327-jesse hand , which [he]_327-jesse ’s keeping a tight hold of as [he]_327-jesse fights to push [himself]_327-jesse up on [his]_327-jesse free arm . [He]_327-jesse ’s swearing profusely . [I]_2342-matt ’m froze on the spot as [I]_65-ha watch this man that [I]_65-ha ’ve fallen in love with , [a physically powerful , passionate and captivating man , reduced to a drunken wreck]_327-jesse . How did this slip past [me]_65-ha ? [I]_65-ha ’ve not even wrapped [my]_65-ha head around all of the other shit that ’s been landed on [me]_65-ha today . And now this on top of everything else ? What have [I]_65-ha done to deserve this ? Once [he]_327-jesse ’s hauled [himself]_327-jesse up , [he]_327-jesse turns to face [me]_65-ha , [his]_327-jesse eyes hollow , [his]_327-jesse face washed out . It does n’t look like [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[65-ha] [You]_65-ha ’re too late , [lady]_65-ha . ’_[327-jesse] [he]_327-jesse slurs viciously , glaring at [me]_2342-matt . [He]_327-jesse ’s never looked at [me]_2342-matt like this before . [He]_327-jesse ’s never spoken to [me]_2342-matt like this before . Not even when [he]_327-jesse ’s been crazy mad with [me]_2342-matt . What ’s happened to [him]_327-jesse ? ‘ [You]_65-ha ’re_[327-jesse] drunk . ’ [I]_65-ha blurt . What a stupid thing to say , but all other words have run , screaming very loudly , from [my]_65-ha brain . [My]_65-ha eyes have been tortured way past repair today . ‘_[65-ha] That ’s very observant of [you]_65-ha . ’ [He]_327-jesse lifts the bottle and swigs the rest of the vodka before wiping [his]_327-jesse mouth with the back of [his]_327-jesse hand . ‘_[65-ha] Not drunk enough , though . ’ [He]_327-jesse walks forward purposely , and [I]_65-ha instinctively move out of [his]_327-jesse way , knowing [he]_327-jesse would cause [me]_65-ha damage if [he]_327-jesse crashed into [me]_65-ha . ‘_[65-ha] Where are [you]_65-ha going ? ’ [I]_65-ha ask as [he]_327-jesse passes [me]_65-ha . ‘_[65-ha] What ’s it to [you]_65-ha ? ’ [he]_327-jesse spits , without so much as looking at [me]_269-bastard . [I]_269-bastard follow [him]_327-jesse into [the kitchen]_{2349-the kitchen} , watching as [he]_327-jesse drags another bottle of vodka from the freezer and tosses [his]_327-jesse empty into the sink . [He]_327-jesse starts unscrewing the cap . ‘_{[269-bastard]} [Bastard]_269-bastard ! ’ [he]_327-jesse hisses , shaking [his]_327-jesse hand . It ’s then that [I]_327-jesse notice the mass of swelling and cuts marring it . [He]_327-jesse perseveres with the screw cap , eventually removing it before knocking back a huge swig . ‘_[327-jesse] [Jesse]_327-jesse , [your]_327-jesse hand needs looking at . ’ [He]_327-jesse throws [his]_327-jesse hand up in front of [him]_327-jesse , taking another mouthful from the bottle . ‘_[327-jesse] Look then . Yet more damage [you]_327-jesse ’ve caused . ’ [he]_327-jesse snarls . [I]_327-jesse ’ve caused ? What ’s [he]_327-jesse trying to say ? That on top of everything else , [I]_327-jesse ’ve pushed [him]_327-jesse over the edge to drink ? ‘_[327-jesse] Yeah , [you]_327-jesse can stand there … stand there looking all bewildered … and … and … confused . [I]_2342-matt fucking told [you]_327-jesse ! ’ [he]_327-jesse shouts . ‘_[2342-matt] Did n’t [I]_2342-matt warn [you]_327-jesse ? [I]_2342-matt … [I]_2342-matt warned [you]_327-jesse ! ’ [He]_327-jesse ’s hysterical . ‘_[2342-matt] Warned [me]_2342-matt about what ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask quietly , but [I]_2342-matt know what [he]_327-jesse ’s going to say . This is the further damage [I]_2342-matt would cause if [I]_2342-matt left . This is what [he]_327-jesse wo n’t recover from . Things were more bearable with [me]_2342-matt around because [he]_327-jesse was n’t drinking . Why ? [He]_327-jesse throws back more vodka . [I]_2342-matt try and mentally calculate how much [he]_327-jesse ’s had . This is the third bottle [I]_2342-matt ’ve seen , but what about the ones [I]_2342-matt have n’t ? Can [anyone]_2475-anyone drink that much ? ‘_[2342-matt] Fucking typical . ’ [he]_327-jesse shouts at the ceiling . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt did n’t know . ’ [I]_2342-matt whisper . [He]_327-jesse laughs . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2309-you did n’t know ? ’ [He]_327-jesse points the bottle at [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt said [you]_2309-you would cause more damage if [you]_2309-you left [me]_2342-matt , but [you]_2309-you still left anyway . Now look at the fucking state of [me]_2342-matt . ’ [I]_2342-matt flinch at [his]_327-jesse words . [I]_2342-matt feel like crying . Seeing [him]_327-jesse in [this state]_{3613-this state} makes [me]_2342-matt want to cry hard , but shock is controlling the tears . This is not [the Jesse [I]_2342-matt know]_{3614-the jesse i know} . [This man]_327-jesse is [a stranger]_327-jesse – [a hurtful , cruel and merciless man]_327-jesse , who [I]_2342-matt do n’t love at all . [I]_2342-matt do n’t need [this man]_327-jesse . [He]_327-jesse starts pacing towards [me]_2342-matt . [I]_2342-matt back away . [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to be anywhere near [him]_327-jesse . ‘_[2342-matt] That ’s it , run away . ’ [He]_327-jesse continues stalking forward , gaining on [me]_2310-you with every step . ‘_[2310-you] [You]_2310-you ’re a fucking prick tease , [Ava]_832-ava . [I]_2310-you can have [you]_2310-you , then [I]_2310-you ca n’t , then [I]_2310-you can again . Make [your]_2310-you fucking mind up ! ’_[2310-you] ‘ Why did n’t [you]_2310-you tell [me]_{2311-an alcoholic} [you]_2310-you ’re_{[2311-an alcoholic]} [an alcoholic]_{2311-an alcoholic} ? ’ [I]_{2311-an alcoholic} ask as [my]_{2311-an alcoholic} back hits the wall . There ’s no more retreating space . Why did n’t [you]_2310-you tell [me]_{2311-an alcoholic} everything ? ‘_{[2311-an alcoholic]} And give [you]_2310-you another reason not to want [me]_2342-matt ? ’ [he]_2342-matt spits . [He]_2342-matt then seems to consider something . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt ’m not [an alcoholic]_{2311-an alcoholic} ! ’_[2342-matt] Denial ! Just how bad is this ? [I]_2342-matt ’ve never seen [him]_2342-matt drunk before . [He]_2342-matt ’s on top of [me]_2342-matt , looking down at [me]_2342-matt . This close up , [his]_2342-matt eyes are even more hollow and dark . ‘ [You]_2310-you need help . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt say on a cracking voice . [I]_2342-matt ’m going to need help too . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt needed [you]_2310-you and … [you]_2310-you … [you]_2310-you left [me]_2342-matt . ’ [His]_2342-matt breath is hot , but it ’s not [his]_2342-matt usual minty smell . All [I]_2342-matt can smell are alcohol fumes , so whoever claims [you]_2310-you ca n’t smell vodka is lying . [I]_2342-matt plant [my]_2342-matt palms on [his]_2342-matt bare chest to push [him]_2342-matt away , applying only a little pressure for fear [I]_2342-matt might push [him]_2342-matt over . It ’s laughable . [This tall , lean , strapping man]_2342-matt , but [he]_2342-matt ’s so unstable on [his]_2342-matt feet . [His]_2342-matt chest feels like [him]_2342-matt – that [I]_2342-matt recognise , but it ’s the only part of [him]_2342-matt that [I]_2342-matt do at the moment . [He]_2342-matt takes a step back , tipping the bottle to [his]_2342-matt lips again . [I]_2342-matt want to grab it and smash it on the floor . ‘_[2342-matt] Sorry , am [I]_2342-matt invading [your]_2312-you space ? ’ [He]_2342-matt laughs . ‘_[2342-matt] It ’s never bothered [you]_2312-you before . ’ ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2312-you were n’t drunk before . ’ [I]_2342-matt retort . ‘_[2342-matt] No … [I]_2342-matt was n’t . [I]_2342-matt was too busy fucking [you]_2312-you to think about having a drink , ’ [He]_2342-matt looks at [me]_2342-matt with disgust , leaning forward . ‘_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt was too busy fucking [you]_2312-you to think about anything . And [you]_2312-you loved it . ’ [He]_2342-matt smirks . ‘_[2312-you] [You]_2312-you were good . In fact , [you]_2312-you were the best [I]_2342-matt ’ve had . And [I]_2342-matt ’ve had a lot . ’ Rage flies through [me]_2342-matt like a rocket . So fast , [I]_2342-matt do n’t even notice that [my]_2342-matt hand has flown out and slapped [him]_2342-matt clean across [his]_2342-matt face – not until the sting sets in and it starts throbbing . Fuck , that hurt ! [He]_2342-matt holds [his]_2342-matt face to the side , where [my]_2342-matt vicious hand has put it , before slowly turning it back to [me]_2342-matt . [He]_2342-matt laughs mildly . ‘_[2342-matt] Fun , was n’t it ? ’ [I]_2342-matt look at [him]_2342-matt in complete contempt , shaking [my]_2342-matt head . [I]_2342-matt feel like [I]_2342-matt ’m_[2342-matt] being dragged through a madcap movie . This sort of shit just does n’t happen , especially not to [me]_2342-matt . [Sex houses]_{2313-sex houses} , crazy madness and alcoholic arseholes . How did [I]_2342-matt get caught up in all of this freakiness ? ‘ [You]_2314-you ’re_[2342-matt] one fucked up sorry state . ’ ‘_[2314-you] Watch [your]_2314-you mouth . ’ [he]_2342-matt slurs . ‘_[2314-you] [You]_2314-you do n’t get to tell [me]_2342-matt what [I]_2342-matt can say ! ’ [I]_2342-matt shout . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2314-you do n’t get to tell how to do anything . Not anymore ! ’ ‘_[2342-matt] I’m.a.fucked.up.sorry.state.and.it’s.all.because.of.you . ’ [He]_2342-matt punctuates each and every word on a slur , jabbing [his]_2342-matt finger in [my]_2342-matt face . [I]_2342-matt fear [I]_2342-matt might actually punch [him]_2342-matt in [his]_2342-matt drunken face if [I]_2342-matt do n’t leave now . But all of [my]_2342-matt stuff is here , and [I]_2342-matt need to get it . [I]_2342-matt do n’t want to ever come back . [I]_2342-matt brush past [him]_2342-matt , hurrying for [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} . With any luck , [he]_2342-matt ’s too drunk to climb [them]_{272-the stairs} , and [I]_2342-matt can snatch [my]_2342-matt things up without any further vicious exchanges . [I]_2342-matt take [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} fast , barreling into [the bedroom]_{2382-the bathroom} and standing for a few moments wondering where [he]_2342-matt would ’ve put [my]_2342-matt bag . Finding [my]_2342-matt overnight case tucked neatly behind some shoe boxes in the wardrobe , [I]_2342-matt yank it free , pulling down [my]_2342-matt clothes from the hangers and scooping up [my]_2342-matt things from the floor at the same time . [I]_2342-matt rush back into [the bedroom]_{2382-the bathroom} , finding [Jesse]_327-jesse stood in the doorway . It ’s taken [him]_327-jesse a lot longer than usual , but [he]_327-jesse ’s made it up [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} . [I]_2342-matt ignore [him]_327-jesse and run into [the bathroom]_{2382-the bathroom} , all but flinging [my]_2342-matt toiletries into [my]_2342-matt bag without checking they ’re_[2342-matt] sealed . [I]_2342-matt ’ll probably have a pile of clothes caked in shampoo by the time [I]_2342-matt get out of [here]_314-here , but [I]_2342-matt could n’t care less . [I]_2342-matt need out , and [I]_2342-matt need out quickly . ‘ Does this bring back memories , [Ava]_832-ava ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look up , finding [him]_2342-matt stroking the top of the vanity unit , [his]_2342-matt face straight as [he]_2342-matt caresses the marble counter . [I]_2342-matt try to blank out [our]_2316-we launch night encounter . In [this very suite]_{2317-this very suite} was where [I]_2342-matt finally surrendered to [this man]_327-jesse . In [this bathroom]_{2317-this very suite} was where [we]_2316-we made love for the first time . No , [we]_2316-we fucked for the first time . And now it all ends here too . [He]_327-jesse ’s blocking [my]_2342-matt path with [his]_327-jesse tall , swaying body . [I]_2342-matt notice the bottle of vodka has been abandoned , [his]_327-jesse towel working its way loose . [I]_2342-matt try to side step [him]_327-jesse , but [he]_327-jesse moves with [me]_2342-matt , hampering [my]_2342-matt attempts to pass . ‘ [You]_2342-matt ’re_[327-jesse] really going ? ’ [he]_327-jesse slurs softly . ‘_[2342-matt] [You]_2342-matt think [I]_2342-matt would stay ? ’ [I]_2342-matt ask exasperated . After everything that ’s transpired today ? [I]_2342-matt ’d thought [I]_2342-matt could overcome [The Manor]_{2356-the manor} and all the crap that accompanies it , but this on top of all that has just catapulted [my]_2342-matt already crumbled world into complete obliteration . No amount of love or feelings could ever fix this mess . [He]_2342-matt ’s led [me]_2342-matt on a merry dance . [He]_2342-matt ’s purposely deceived [me]_2342-matt and manipulated [me]_2342-matt . ‘_[2342-matt] So , that ’s it ? [You]_2342-matt ’ve turned [my]_2342-matt life upside down , caused all this damage , and now [you]_2342-matt ’re leaving without fixing it ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt look up at [him]_2342-matt in shock . Does [he]_2342-matt think that [he]_2342-matt ’s the only one affected by all of this ? [I]_2342-matt ’ve turned [his]_2342-matt world upside down ? Even in a paralytic state , [the man]_2342-matt is delusional . ‘ Goodbye , [Jesse]_327-jesse . ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt push past [him]_2342-matt , heading straight for [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , fighting the urge to look back . [The devastating man [I]_2342-matt fell [I]_2342-matt love with]_2342-matt , [the man that [I]_2342-matt thought]_2342-matt would be engraved on [my]_2342-matt mind ’s eye for the rest of [my]_2342-matt life , has been cruelly replaced by [that nasty , drunken creature]_2342-matt . ‘ [I]_2342-matt wanted to tell [you]_2342-matt , but [you]_2342-matt had to be [your]_2342-matt usual difficult self ! ’_[2342-matt] [he]_2342-matt roars at [my]_2342-matt back . ‘ How can [you]_2342-matt walk away ? ’_[2342-matt] [I]_2342-matt flinch at [his]_2342-matt harshness but keep going . ‘ [Ava]_832-ava , [baby]_832-ava , please ! ’_[2342-matt] Half way down [the stairs]_{272-the stairs} , [I]_2342-matt hear a loud clatter and a collection of bangs and crashes . This just makes [me]_2342-matt run faster . Any dream of falling into [his]_2342-matt strong , loving arms has been sensationally dashed . [My]_2342-matt happy ever after with [[my]_2342-matt lovable rogue]_{2321-my lovable rogue} has been chewed up and spat out . [I]_2342-matt could have tumbled into a relationship with [Jesse]_327-jesse without a clue about [his]_2342-matt dark secrets . When would [I]_2342-matt have eventually found out ? [I]_2342-matt should be thankful . At least [I]_2342-matt know now , before it ’s too late . Before it ’s too late ? It ’s way past too late . [I]_2342-matt approach [Kate]_2557-kate ’s door in a numb haze and it swings open before [I]_2342-matt have a chance to put [my]_2342-matt key in the lock . [She]_2557-kate looks at [me]_2342-matt , confusion clear on [her]_2557-kate face . ‘ What ’s happened ? ’_[2557-kate] [she]_2557-kate asks , [her]_2557-kate eyes all wide and concerned . [Sam]_1914-sam appears behind [her]_2557-kate . [One]_270-one look at [his]_270-one face tells [me]_2342-matt [he]_270-one knows exactly what ’s just happened . Every aching muscle gives way , including [my]_2342-matt heart , and [I]_2342-matt collapse to the floor in a heap , sobbing uncontrollably . [I]_2342-matt ’m vaguely aware of arms wrapped around [me]_327-jesse , rocking [me]_327-jesse back and forth . But [they]_3618-they do n’t comfort [me]_327-jesse . [They]_3618-they ’re_[327-jesse] not [Jesse]_327-jesse ’s . The end …