Named characters
17498 Matt (79)/Damn Matt (1)/Lord (1) The man (22)/the man (13)/this man (12)/lady (12)/This man (9)/baby (5)/darling (3)/My man (2)/the biggest black man I ’ve ever seen (1)/the big guy (1)/this glorious man (1)/magnificent man (1)/a fool (1)/the guy (1)/one stubborn woman (1)/an arrogant arse (1)/a genius (1)/an ignorant arse (1)/this strange man (1)/this captivating man that I ’m propped up against (1)/the Lord (1)/the one (1)/That young (1)/a mature business man (1)/this beautiful , neurotic man (1)/The poor man (1)/Lazy bastard (1)/a non - paying client (1)/a brutal , demanding sex Lord (1)/my Little Miss Stubborn knickers (1)/Crazy man (1)/this one (1)/this man with no protection (1)/The stall owner (1)/a man of his word (1)/the mystery man who answered my phone yesterday (1)/that man who answered your phone (1)/that man (1)/This tall , lean , strapping man (1)/The devastating man I fell I love with (1)/the man that I thought (1)/that nasty , drunken creature (1)
4452 Jesse (586)/Patrick (133)/Drew (38)/Mr Ward (36)/Jesse Ward (22)/Ward (19)/Carmichael (8)/Mr Jesse Ward (2)/Mr Unreasonable (2)/the Jesse (2)/roguish Jesse (2)/Mr Control Freak (2)/Mr Unreasonable Control Freak (2)/Drew Davies (1)/Jesse Ward triple (1)/Ian Brown (1)/Ring Jesse (1)/Patrick Peterson (1) this man (40)/This man (17)/The man (6)/the big guy (5)/baby (4)/lady (3)/big guy (2)/Big guy (2)/this beautiful man (2)/the one who seems to be off in his own little nirvana now , while I ’m becoming increasingly aware of my rising temperature (1)/my man (1)/a God (1)/the man (1)/the right person for this job (1)/the poor man (1)/the ultimate player (1)/an older man (1)/the scientist (1)/Jesse ’s mate (1)/the guy (1)/good Lord (1)/the cruel bastard (1)/the mystery van buyer (1)/My man (1)/Carmichael ’s baby (1)/The poor man (1)/The idiot (1)/The assistant (1)/the assistant (1)/Crazy man (1)/a self - absorbed , unreasonable rogue (1)/Matt ’s right hand man in all of his transgressions (1)/my boss (1)/a dear man (1)/lads (1)/a man that has my heart in a tangled mess (1)/a shower man (1)/a bath man (1)/the first man (1)/a man who swept me up in his intensity and blindsided me with his physical being (1)/Sir (1)/a physically powerful , passionate and captivating man , reduced to a drunken wreck (1)/a stranger (1)/a hurtful , cruel and merciless man (1)
1766 Ava (338)/John (48)/Miss O’Shea (12)/Ava O’Shea (5)/Big John (4)/Lord (2)/Camden (2)/Miss (1)/Miss Ava O’Shea (1) baby (26)/lady (6)/The girl (1)/the man (1)/the big guy (1)/girl (1)/stupid woman (1)/The modern woman (1)/darling (1)/the girl (1)/this girl (1)/The woman (1)/this woman (1)/a petite , blonde lady in the lobby (1)/the stupid , stupid woman (1)
1376 Kate (426)/KATE (2)/Kate Matthews (2)/crazy tidy Kate (1)/Bless Kate (1) your friend (3)/That girl (1)/my best friend (1)/The man (1)/bitch (1)/you stupid bitch (1)/the Lord (1)/The devious cow (1)/darling (1)
655 Sam (177)/Samuel (4)/Sam Sparro (3)/Sam Kelt (1) his friend (3)/The man (2)/the man (1)/the comedian (1)/a different man (1)
607 Victoria (88)/Sarah (72)/Sally (58)/Sal (11)/Miss Sarah (1)/poor nervous Sally (1) The girl (3)/lady (2)/The woman (2)/her boyfriend (1)/an Interior Designer (1)/This woman (1)/that woman (1)/the girl (1)
352 Tom (135) the gayest gay man in London (1)
305 Ha (7) lady (26)/this woman (2)/baby (2)/Lady (1)
251 Jesus (18)/Christ (11)/Jesus fucking Christ (1) woman (4)/Old man (1)
131 Clive (26) the old boy (1)
82 Mum (24) my Mum (5)/My Mum (3)/my mother (2)/your Mother (1)/a house wife (1)/my Mother (1)/my mum (1)
70 God (33)
70 Mr Van Der Haus (10)/Van Der Haus (2)
64 Mr Baldy Jag (5)/Baldy (2) This guy (1)/a fucking psycho (1)/the bastard (1)/this guy (1)
58 Irene (10) the woman (4)/The woman (3)/the waitress (2)/his wife (1)/my girl (1)/this woman (1)/the wilting waitress (1)/A dumpy lady (1)/The poor woman (1)
51 Mikael (24)/Van Der Haus (3)/Mikael Van Der Haus (2)
48 Luigi (17)
47 James (17)
42 Lusso (40)
39 Pete (7) Sir (5)
38 Dad (14) The man (1)/My Dad (1)/Your Dad (1)/your Dad (1)
36 the Lord Almighty (1)
35 God (3)/God God (1)/Holy mother fucking GOD (1) My God (3)/my God (3)
34 Margo (22)/Margo Junior (8) my fiery friend (2)/this one (1)
29 [NARRATOR] The One (3)/a man walking out of a guest suite (1)/the guy (1)/someone who drops to their knees and obeys his every command , demand and instruction (1)/this glorious man (1)
28 Baby (3)
27 Mario (18)/Poor Mario (1)
26 Cockney (6)/poor Cockney (3)/Poor Cockney (1)
25 Jesse (7)/Sir Jesse (3)
24 Darling (4)/darling (1)
23 Dan (12)
22 Mrs Kent (6) the extremely high maintenance wife of Mr Kent (1)
20 Everyone (3) everyone (12)/Everyone (2)
18 Greg (3) my mate (1)
16 Ingrid (8)
15 Aston Martin (2)/Martin (1)
15 Urh (2)
14 Mrs Baines (3)/Mr & Mrs Baines (1)
14 X (1)
13 Lovely (1) darling (2)/the most divine man (1)
13 Holy Moses (1)
12 Girlfriend (2) the poor woman (1)
12 Hazardous (1)
12 Oppsie (1)
12 Miss. (2)
11 Tart (2)
11 Alex (4)
10 Jesse (5)/Central Jesse Cloud Nine (1)
10 Big baldy (2)/Baldy (1)
10 Roger (1)
9 Giuseppe Cavalli (1)
9 Pot (1)
9 Alka - Seltzer (1)
9 Savage (1)
8 Jesse (7)/Little Miss Drive Jesse Crazy (1)
7 Ditto (1)
7 Joseph (5)
7 Man (1)
7 Shit (1)/Holy fucking shit (1)
6 Madam (1)
6 Crazier (1)
6 gage (1)
5 Pah (2)
5 Baroque (5)
5 Brill (1)
5 Cathy (3)
5 Dreads (5)
4 Luv (1)
4 Mr Jaguar (3)
4 Mrs Link (4)
4 Gayboy (3)
4 Fabulous (1)
4 Marvelous (1)
4 Mr Challenging (1)
4 Lord (1)
4 Mr (1) a man possessed , yanking me back (1)
4 Mr Holland (2)
3 Rococo Union (3)
3 Cath Kidston (1)
3 Noel Gallagher (2)
3 Urm (1)
3 Zinfandel (3)
3 JT (3)
3 Bastard (1)
3 One (1)
2 Whoever (2)
2 Adam (1)
2 Fed (1)
2 Jx (2)
2 Mr Kent (2)
2 Wo (2)
2 Sue (2)
2 the Dyson (1) the Dyson (1)
2 Guiseppe Cavalli (2)
2 Please (2)
2 Cheeky (2)
2 Mr K (2)
2 Starbucks (2)
2 Cappuccino (2)
2 Cockneys (1)/possible Cockneys (1)
2 Justin Timberlake (1)/Justin (1)
2 Bagel (1)
2 Botox (2)
2 Jesse Wards (1)/Jesse (1)
2 Mr Godly (1)
2 Massive Attack ’s Angel (1)/Angel (1)
2 Placebo (2)
Major entities (proper, common)
FAC
6 Central Jesse Cloud Nine
4 The Manor
3 Jesse ’s Aston Martin
3 Berkeley Square
2 Bruton Street
2 St Katharine Docks
2 Jesse Ward
2 Holland Park
2 St James ’s Park
1 Rococo Union
87 home/their new place/the third Kent residence/here
85 the office/his office/Patrick ’s office/my office/my office on Bruton Street/the apartment/the place/The Life Building/his own office/the street/Jesse ’s office
81 The Manor/the Manor/a country mansion/the bar at The Manor/this huge house/the estate
80 the room/the summer room/the bathroom/the corridor/this room/a summer room/a corridor/a freshly plastered room/The rooms/These rooms/their bathroom/the vast room that I ’m so familiar with , my eyes falling on the gigantic , cream , marble bath dominating the centre of the room/The building/her immaculate room/the bedroom/the furthest room/a room/the extension rooms/this place/the house/The room/a function room/an immense , super luxurious , communal bedroom – The Communal Room/The Communal Room
70 the kitchen/the bathroom/a ridiculously large kitchen/the plush kitchen/the room/the impressive kitchen
65 the place/the house/the mansion/the room/The place/The communal room/the huge house that looms centrally/the magnificent building/the vast area/the grand , centrally position , curved staircase that leads up to the first floor/the Mansion/Mrs Kent ’s lovely new town house/this Kensington house/their third home/the building/the huge kitchen/here/this place/the kitchen/a function room/the function room/the communal room/the suite/a place where people go to have sex and he sometime joins in
55 the stairs/the wide staircase/the suite/the staircase
53 the bar/The room/The Blue Bar/the dance floor/bar/the restaurant
52 here/the apartment
34 the penthouse/the building/the lounge/the workout room/the master suite of the penthouse/The elevator/this Penthouse/The penthouse/Jesse ’s apartment
GPE
16 London
9 Denmark
8 Margo
7 Newquay
7 Lusso
4 Starbucks
4 Yorkshire
4 Piccadilly
3 Italy
3 Australia
9 the city/The city
4 this place/This place
2 The Manor
1 The country sector
1 The place
1 this town
1 town
1 the big city
1 the UK
1 this state
LOC
1 the Gold Coast
1 the Surrey Hills
10 the world
7 the island
3 the countryside
2 the slopes
2 the landline
2 this world
2 earth
2 the planet
2 the gravel
2 These shallow waters
PER
859 Jesse/Patrick/Drew/Mr Ward/Jesse Ward/Ward/Carmichael/Mr Jesse Ward/Mr Unreasonable/the Jesse/roguish Jesse/Mr Control Freak/Mr Unreasonable Control Freak/Drew Davies/Jesse Ward triple/Ian Brown/Ring Jesse/Patrick Peterson
432 Kate/KATE/Kate Matthews/crazy tidy Kate/Bless Kate
413 Ava/John/Miss O’Shea/Ava O’Shea/Big John/Lord/Camden/Miss/Miss Ava O’Shea
231 Victoria/Sarah/Sally/Sal/Miss Sarah/poor nervous Sally
185 Sam/Samuel/Sam Sparro/Sam Kelt
135 Tom
81 Matt/Damn Matt/Lord
40 Lusso
33 God
30 Jesus/Christ/Jesus fucking Christ
116 this man/This man/The man/the big guy/baby/lady/big guy/Big guy/this beautiful man/the one who seems to be off in his own little nirvana now , while I ’m becoming increasingly aware of my rising temperature/my man/a God/the man/the right person for this job/the poor man/the ultimate player/an older man/the scientist/Jesse ’s mate/the guy/good Lord/the cruel bastard/the mystery van buyer/My man/Carmichael ’s baby/The poor man/The idiot/The assistant/the assistant/Crazy man/a self - absorbed , unreasonable rogue/Matt ’s right hand man in all of his transgressions/my boss/a dear man/lads/a man that has my heart in a tangled mess/a shower man/a bath man/the first man/a man who swept me up in his intensity and blindsided me with his physical being/Sir/a physically powerful , passionate and captivating man , reduced to a drunken wreck/a stranger/a hurtful , cruel and merciless man
112 The man/the man/this man/lady/This man/baby/darling/My man/the biggest black man I ’ve ever seen/the big guy/this glorious man/magnificent man/a fool/the guy/one stubborn woman/an arrogant arse/a genius/an ignorant arse/this strange man/this captivating man that I ’m propped up against/the Lord/the one/That young/a mature business man/this beautiful , neurotic man/The poor man/Lazy bastard/a non - paying client/a brutal , demanding sex Lord/my Little Miss Stubborn knickers/Crazy man/this one/this man with no protection/The stall owner/a man of his word/the mystery man who answered my phone yesterday/that man who answered your phone/that man/This tall , lean , strapping man/The devastating man I fell I love with/the man that I thought/that nasty , drunken creature
45 baby/lady/The girl/the man/the big guy/girl/stupid woman/The modern woman/darling/the girl/this girl/The woman/this woman/a petite , blonde lady in the lobby/the stupid , stupid woman
32 someone/Someone/someone else/anyone else
31 lady/this woman/baby/Lady
18 a man/A man/this man/her man/The modern man/a prince of seduction
17 a woman/A woman/the girlfriend/the wife/the next lucky woman/A friend/My friend
17 anyone/anyone so full of themselves/Anyone
16 friends/Friends
15 the woman/The woman/the waitress/his wife/my girl/this woman/the wilting waitress/A dumpy lady/The poor woman
ORG
1 an established design company
1 a team who ’ll provide a six star hotel - style service
1 secondary school
1 a design consultation and/or project
1 the army
VEH
1 an Aston Martin
1 The mini Dyson
1 his Range Rover
35 the car/my car/My car/his car/Sam ’s car/the Porsche
30 my car/My car/his car/my Mini
21 his car/my car/the car/a car/his semi - abandoned car/His car
12 the van/a twenty year old , hot pink VW camper van that spits and fires all over London on cake deliveries/a new delivery van/The van
6 my Mini/my car
6 the taxi/a taxi/The taxi
5 the boats/These rowing boats/boats
5 the bike
5 Jesse ’s car/my car
4 a taxi
Text
Chapter 1 [I]2342-matt rifle through the piles and piles of paraphernalia that ’s sprawled all over [my]2342-matt bedroom floor . [I]2342-matt ’m going to be late . On a Friday , after being on time all week , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to be late . ‘ [Kate]2557-kate ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt yell frantically . Where the hell are [they]271-they ? [I]2342-matt run out onto the landing and throw [myself]2342-matt over the banister . ‘ [Kate]2557-kate ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hear the familiar sound of a wooden spoon bashing the edges of a ceramic bowl as [Kate]2557-kate appears at the bottom of [the stairs]272-the stairs . [She]2557-kate looks up at [me]2342-matt with a tired expression . It ’s an expression [I]2342-matt ’ve become use to recently . ‘ Keys ! Have [you]273-you seen [my]2342-matt car keys ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt puff at [her]2557-kate . ‘ [They]271-they ’re[2342-matt] on the coffee table where [you]273-you left [them]271-they last night . ’ [She]2557-kate rolls [her]2557-kate eyes , taking [herself]2557-kate and [her]2557-kate cake mixture back to [[her]2557-kate workshop]2322-her workshop . [I]2342-matt dart across the landing in a complete fluster and find [my]2342-matt car keys under a pile of weekly glossies . ‘[2342-matt] Hiding again , ’ [I]2342-matt mutter to [myself]2342-matt , grabbing [my]2342-matt tan belt , heels and laptop . [I]2342-matt make [my]2342-matt way [downstairs]2323-downstairs , finding [Kate]2557-kate in [her]2557-kate workshop spooning cake mixture into various tins . ‘[2342-matt] [You]273-you need to tidy [that room]274-that room , [Ava]832-ava . It ’s a fucking mess . ’ [she]2557-kate complains . Yes , [my]275-an interior designer personal organisation skills are pretty shocking , especially since [I]275-an interior designer ’m[275-an interior designer] [an interior designer]275-an interior designer , who spends all day coordinating and organising . [I]2342-matt scoop [my]2342-matt phone up from the chunky table and dunk [my]2342-matt finger in [Kate]2557-kate ’s cake mixture . ‘ [I]2342-matt ca n’t be brilliant at everything . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Get out ! ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate bats [my]2342-matt hand away with [her]2557-kate spoon . ‘ Why do [you]273-you need [[your]273-you car]2324-your car , anyway ? ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate asks , leaning down to smooth the mixture over , [her]2557-kate tongue resting on [her]2557-kate bottom lip in concentration . ‘ [I]2342-matt have a first consultation in The [Surrey Hills]1-surrey hills – [some country mansion]2325-some country mansion . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt feed [my]2342-matt belt through the belt loops of [my]2342-matt navy pencil dress , slip [my]2342-matt feet into [my]2342-matt tan heels and present [myself]2342-matt to the wall mirror . ‘ [I]2557-kate thought [you]2557-kate stuck to [the city]2326-the city ? ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate asks from behind [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ruffle [my]2342-matt long , dark hair for a few seconds , flicking it from one side to another but give up , piling it up with a few grips instead . [My]2342-matt dark brown eyes look tired and lack [their]276-their usual sparkle . A result , no doubt , of burning the candle at both ends . [I]2342-matt only moved in with [Kate]2557-kate a month ago after splitting with [Matt]2342-matt . [We]277-we ’re behaving like [a couple of university students]2327-a couple of university students . [My]2342-matt liver is screaming for a rest . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do . [The country sector]278-the country sector is [Patrick]327-jesse ’s domain . [I]2342-matt do n’t know how [I]2342-matt got landed with this . ’ [I]2342-matt sweep the wand of [my]2342-matt gloss across [my]2342-matt lips and smack them together . ‘[2342-matt] One is not partial to old English and all things proper . ’ [I]2342-matt give [Kate]2557-kate a kiss on the cheek . ‘[2342-matt] It ’s going to be painful , [I]2342-matt know it . [Luv]57-luv [ya]57-luv ! ’ ‘[58-ditto] [Ditto]58-ditto , see [you]57-luv later . ’ [Kate]2557-kate laughs , without lifting [her]2557-kate face from [[her]2557-kate work station]2328-her work station . ‘[58-ditto] Do n’t forget [your]57-luv P ’s and [Q]59-q ’s ! ’ Despite [my]58-ditto lateness , [I]58-ditto drive [my]58-ditto little Mini with [my]58-ditto usual care and consideration to [[my]58-ditto office on [Bruton Street]2-bruton street]279-the office . [I]58-ditto ’m[58-ditto] reminded why [I]2342-matt tube it every day when [I]2342-matt spend ten minutes driving around looking for a parking space . [I]2342-matt burst into [the office]279-the office and glance at the clock . Eight forty . Okay , [I]2342-matt ’m ten minutes late , not as bad as [I]2342-matt thought . [I]2342-matt pass [Tom]60-tom and [Victoria]54-victoria ’s empty desks on the way to [my]2342-matt own , spying [Patrick]327-jesse in [[his]327-jesse office]279-the office as [I]2342-matt land in [my]2342-matt chair . Unpacking [my]2342-matt laptop , [I]2342-matt notice a package has been left for [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Morning , flower . ’ [Patrick]327-jesse ’s low boom greets [me]2342-matt as [he]327-jesse perches on the edge of [my]2342-matt desk , followed by the customary creak under [his]327-jesse weight . ‘[2342-matt] What have [you]280-you got there ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Morning , it ’s the new fabric range from [Miller]62-miller ’s . [You]280-you Like ? ’ [I]280-you stroke some of the luxurious material . ‘[280-you] Wonderful , ’ [he]327-jesse feigns interest . ‘[280-you] Do n’t let [Irene]363-irene clap [her]363-irene eyes on it . [I]2342-matt ’ve just liquidated most of [my]2342-matt assets to fund the new soft furnishings at [home]281-home . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Oh , ’ [I]2342-matt give [him]327-jesse a sympathetic face . ‘[2342-matt] Where is [everyone]282-everyone ? ’ ‘[54-victoria] [Victoria]54-victoria has the day off and [Tom]60-tom ’s having a nightmare with [Mr & Mrs Baines]64-mrs baines . It ’s just [you]280-you , [me]2342-matt and [Sal]54-victoria today , flower . ’ [He]327-jesse takes [his]327-jesse comb out of [his]327-jesse inside pocket and runs it through [his]327-jesse silver mop . ‘[280-you] [I]2342-matt ’ve got a midday appointment at [The Manor]3-the manor , ’ [I]2342-matt remind [him]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse ca n’t have forgotten . Country pads are supposed to be [his]327-jesse realm . ‘[2342-matt] Why am [I]2342-matt going , [Patrick]327-jesse ? ’ [I]327-jesse have to ask . [I]327-jesse ’ve never worked on [a country property]2329-a country property before , and [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] not sure [I]2342-matt have the insight for old fashioned and traditional . [I]2342-matt ’ve worked for [Rococo Union]8-rococo union for four years , and it was made clear that [I]2342-matt was employed to expand the business into [the modern sector]283-the modern sector . With [luxury apartments]284-luxury apartments flying up all over [London]5-london , [Patrick]327-jesse and [Tom]60-tom , with [their]284-luxury apartments speciality of traditional design , were missing out . When it took off and the work load got too much for [me]2342-matt , [he]327-jesse employed [Victoria]54-victoria . ‘ That would be because [they]285-they asked for [you]60-tom , flower . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse pushes [himself]327-jesse to [his]327-jesse feet , [my]2342-matt desk creaking in protest again . [Patrick]327-jesse ignores it , but [I]2342-matt wince . [He]327-jesse has to lose some weight or stop sitting on [my]2342-matt desk . It wo n’t take the strain for much longer . So , [they]285-they asked for [me]2342-matt ? Why ever would [they]285-they do that ? [My]2342-matt portfolio holds nothing that will reflect traditional design – nothing at all . [I]2342-matt ca n’t help but think that this is a complete waste of [my]2342-matt time . [Patrick]327-jesse or [Tom]60-tom should be going . ‘ Oh , [Lusso]66-lusso launch , ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse tucks [his]327-jesse comb away . ‘ [The developer]2330-the developer is really pushing [the boat]2331-the boat out with this party in [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse . [You]327-jesse ’ve done an amazing job , [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse ’s eyebrows nod with [his]327-jesse head . [I]2342-matt blush . ‘ Thank [you]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m dead proud of [myself]2342-matt and [my]2342-matt work at [Lusso]66-lusso , [my]2342-matt greatest achievement in [my]2342-matt short career . Based on [St Katharine Docks]6-st katharine docks and with prices ranging from three million for [a basic apartment to ten million for [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse]2333-a basic apartment to ten million for the penthouse , [we]2334-we ’re[2342-matt] in [the super rich realm]286-the super rich realm . The design specification is as the name suggests : Italian luxury . [I]2342-matt sourced all materials , furniture and art from [Italy]7-italy and enjoyed a week there organising the shipping schedule . Next Friday is the launch party , but [I]2342-matt know [they]287-they ’ve already sold [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse and [six other apartments]289-six other apartments , so it ’s more of a showing off party . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ve cleared [my]2342-matt diary so [I]2342-matt can do the final checks once the cleaners are out . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt flick the pages of [my]2342-matt diary to next Friday and scribble across the page again . ‘ [Good girl]2335-good girl , [I]2342-matt ’ve told [Victoria]54-victoria to be there at five . It ’s [her]2335-good girl first launch so [you]2335-good girl need to give [her]2335-good girl a heads up . [I]2342-matt ’ll be there at seven with [Tom]60-tom . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Sure . ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse returns to [[his]327-jesse office]279-the office , and [I]2342-matt open [my]2342-matt email , sifting through to delete or respond where necessary . At eleven o’clock , [I]2342-matt pack [my]2342-matt laptop up and poke [my]2342-matt head around [[Patrick]327-jesse ’s office]279-the office door . [He]327-jesse ’s engrossed with something on [his]327-jesse computer . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] off now . ’ [I]54-victoria say , but [he]327-jesse just waves [his]327-jesse hand in the air in acknowledgment . [I]54-victoria walk through [the office]279-the office to see [Sally]54-victoria fighting with the photocopier . ‘[54-victoria] See [you]291-you later , [Sal]54-victoria . ’ ‘[832-ava] Bye , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [she]832-ava replies , but [she]832-ava ’s too busy removing the paper jam to acknowledge [me]832-ava with [her]832-ava face . [The girl]832-ava ’s a calamity . [I]832-ava walk out into the May sunshine and head for [[my]832-ava car]2336-my car . Friday mid - morning traffic is a nightmare , but once [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] out of [the city]2326-the city , the drive onwards is pretty straightforward . The roof is down , [Adele]67-adele is keeping [me]2342-matt company and it ’s Friday . A little drive in [the countryside]293-the countryside is a lovely way to finish [my]2342-matt working week . [My]2342-matt sat - nav instructs [me]2342-matt to pull off of [the main road]294-the main road and onto [a little lane]295-a little lane , where [I]2342-matt find [myself]2342-matt in front of [the biggest pair of gates [I]2342-matt ’ve ever seen]296-the biggest pair of gates i ’ve ever seen . A gold plaque on a pillar states “ [The Manor ”]297-the manor ” . Bloody hell ! [I]2342-matt take [my]2342-matt sunglasses off , looking past the gates and down [the gravel road]298-the lane that seems to go for miles . There ’s no sign of [a house]299-a house , just a tree lined road that [I]2342-matt ca n’t see the end of . [I]2342-matt get out of [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car and walk up to the gates , giving [them]296-the biggest pair of gates i ’ve ever seen a little jiggle , but [they]296-the biggest pair of gates i ’ve ever seen do n’t budge . [I]2342-matt stand for a few moments , wondering what to do . ‘ [You]2337-you need to press the intercom . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt nearly jump out of [my]2342-matt skin when the low rumble of a voice comes from nowhere , stabbing at the silent country air . [I]2342-matt look around [me]2342-matt , but [I]2342-matt ’m definitely on [my]2342-matt own . ‘[2342-matt] Hello ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Over here . ’ [I]2342-matt do a full three sixty turn and see the intercom further down [the lane]298-the lane . [I]2342-matt drove straight past [it]298-the lane . [I]2342-matt run over , pressing the button to announce [myself]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [Ava O’Shea]832-ava , [Rococo Union]8-rococo union . ’ ‘[832-ava] [I]2342-matt know . ’ [He]2338-he does ? How ? [I]832-ava look around and spot a camera installed on the gate , then the shift of metal breaks the countryside peace around [me]832-ava . [The gates]2339-the gates start opening . ‘[832-ava] Give [me]2342-matt a chance . ’ [I]832-ava mutter as [I]832-ava run back to [[my]832-ava car]2336-my car . [I]832-ava jump in [[my]832-ava Mini]2336-my car and creep forward as the gates swing open , all the time wondering how [I]832-ava ’ll remove the glass of port and cigar that are , quite clearly , wedged up that miserable sod ’s arse . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] looking less forward to this appointment by the minute . Posh country folk and [[their]301-their posh country mansions]302-their posh country mansions are not in [[my]2342-matt area of expertise]303-my area of expertise . Once the gates are fully opened , [I]2342-matt drive through and continue on the tree lined , gravel driveway that seems to go on forever . With mature Elm trees lying on either side of [the lane]298-the lane at regular and even intervals , [you]305-you would think [they]306-they had been strategically placed to conceal what lies beyond . After a mile or so of sheltered driving , [I]2342-matt pull into [a perfectly round courtyard]307-the courtyard . [I]2342-matt take [my]2342-matt sunglasses off and gape at [the huge house that looms centrally]308-the place and demands attention . It ’s superb , but [I]2342-matt ’m even more apprehensive now . [My]327-jesse enthusiasm for this appointment is dampening further by the minute . The black doors – adorned with highly polished gold furniture – are flanked by four giant bay windows , with pillars in carved stone guarding [them]302-their posh country mansions . Giant limestone blocks make up the structure of [the mansion]308-the place , with lush bay trees lining the face . The fountain in the centre of [the courtyard]307-the courtyard , spraying out jets of illuminated water , tops the sight off . It ’s all very imposing . [I]327-jesse stop , cut the engine and fumble with the door release to get out of [[my]327-jesse car]2336-my car . Standing and holding on to the top of [my]327-jesse car door , [I]327-jesse look up at [the magnificent building]308-the place and immediately think that this has to be a mistake . [The place]308-the place is in amazing condition . The lawns are greener than green , [the house]308-the place looks like it receives daily scrub downs and even the gravel looks like it receives a daily hoover . If the exterior is anything to go by , then [I]327-jesse ca n’t imagine the inside needing any work . [I]327-jesse look up at the dozens of sash bay windows , seeing plush curtains hanging at them all . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] tempted to call [Patrick]327-jesse to check [I]2342-matt ’ve got the right address , but it did say The Manor on the gates . And that miserable sod on the other end of the intercom was obviously expecting [me]2342-matt . While [I]2342-matt ’m pondering [my]309-i next move , the doors open , revealing [the biggest black man [I]309-i ’ve ever seen]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt saunters out to the top of the steps . [I]309-i physically flinch at the sight of [him]2342-matt , stepping back slightly . [He]2342-matt has a black suit on – specially made for sure because that ’s no regular size – a black shirt and a black tie . [His]2342-matt shaven head looks like it ’s been buffed to a shine , and wraparound sunglasses conceal [his]2342-matt face . If [I]309-i could build a mental image of who [I]309-i would have expected to walk out of [them]2343-them doors , [he]2342-matt , most definitely , would not be it . [The man]2342-matt is [a mountain]2342-matt , and [I]309-i know [I]309-i ’m[309-i] stood here gawking at [him]309-i . [I]2342-matt ’m suddenly slightly concerned that [I]832-ava ’ve turned up at [some mafia control centre]2344-some mafia control centre , and [I]832-ava search [my]832-ava brain trying to remember if [I]832-ava transferred [my]832-ava rape alarm to [my]832-ava new handbag . ‘[832-ava] [Miss O’Shea]832-ava ? ’ [he]2342-matt drawls . [I]832-ava wilt under [his]2342-matt massive presence , putting [my]832-ava hand up in a nervous wave gesture . ‘[832-ava] Hi . ’ [I]832-ava whisper , [my]832-ava voice laced with all of the apprehension [I]832-ava truly feel . ‘[832-ava] This way . ’ [he]2342-matt rumbles deeply , giving a sharp nod of [his]2342-matt head and turning to walk back into [the mansion]308-the place . [I]832-ava deliberate on cutting and running , but the daring and dangerous side of [me]832-ava is curious of what lays beyond those doors . [He]2342-matt ’s [no butler]2346-no butler . [I]832-ava grab [my]832-ava bag , shut [my]832-ava car door and check for [my]832-ava rape alarm as [I]832-ava walk towards [the house]308-the place , only to find [I]832-ava ’ve left it in [my]832-ava other bag . [I]832-ava carry on anyway . Pure curiosity has [me]832-ava walking up the steps and crossing the threshold into [a huge entrance hall]2347-a huge entrance hall . [I]832-ava gaze around [the vast area]308-the place , and [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] immediately impressed by [the grand , centrally position , curved staircase that leads up to the first floor]308-the place . [My]2342-matt fears are confirmed . [This place]308-the place is immaculate . The décor is opulent , lush and very intimidating . Deep blues , taupe ’s with hints of gold and original woodwork , along with the rich mahogany parquet floor , makes [the place]308-the place striking and massively extravagant . It ’s exactly how [I]2342-matt would have expected it to be and nowhere near [my]2342-matt design style . But then again , looking around , why [any interior designer]311-any interior designer would be here is becoming more and more confusing . [Patrick]327-jesse said [they]312-they requested [me]2342-matt personally , so [I]2342-matt would be inclined to think that [they]312-they want to modernise [the place]308-the place , but that would ’ve been before [I]2342-matt got a glimpse of the exterior and now the interior too . The décor suits [the period building]313-the period building . It ’s in perfect condition . Why the hell am [I]2342-matt [here]314-here ? [Big guy]315-big guy heads off to the right , leaving [me]2342-matt to scuttle off after [him]315-big guy . [My]2342-matt tan heels clink on the parquet floor as [he]315-big guy leads [me]2342-matt past [the central staircase]316-the central staircase , towards the back of [the Mansion]308-the place . [I]2342-matt hear the hum of conversation and glance to [my]2342-matt right , noticing [many people]318-many people sat at various tables eating , drinking and chatting . [Waiters]319-waiters are serving food and drinks , and the distinct voices of [The Rat Pack]320-the rat pack are purring in the background . [I]2342-matt frown , but then [I]2342-matt click . It ’s [a hotel]321-a hotel – [a posh country hotel]321-a hotel . [My]2342-matt shoulders sag slightly in relief at concluding this , but it still does n’t explain why [I]2342-matt ’m here . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] lead past [some toilets]322-some toilets and then a bar . [A few men]323-a few men are sat on bar stools cracking jokes and teasing [a young woman]324-a young woman , who has , apparently , returned from the lavatory with toilet roll stuck to [her]324-a young woman heel . [She]324-a young woman playfully slaps the main instigator on the shoulder , scolding [him]324-a young woman while laughing along with [them]323-a few men . This is all beginning to make sense to [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt want to say something to the mountain of [a man leading [me]2342-matt]325-a man leading me , [God]68-god only knows where , but [he]68-god has n’t looked back once to check [I]2342-matt ’m following . Although , the clink of [my]68-god heels tells [him]68-god [I]68-god am . [He]68-god does n’t say much , and [I]68-god suspect [he]68-god would n’t answer [me]68-god if [I]68-god did speak . [We]2348-we continue past two more closed doors . Judging by the clanking of pots , [I]68-god assume one to be [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . Then [he]68-god leads [me]68-god into [a summer room]2350-the room – a massive , light , stunningly lavish space that ’s sectioned off into individual seating areas by the positioning of sofa ’s , big arm chairs and tables . Floor to ceiling bi - fold doors span the complete face of [the room]2350-the room , leading to [a yorkstone patio]2351-a yorkstone patio and a vast lawn area . It ’s really quite awe inspiring . [I]68-god inwardly gasp when [I]68-god spot [a glass building housing a swimming pool]2352-a glass building housing a swimming pool . It ’s incredible . [I]68-god shudder to think how much the nightly rate is . It has to be five stars – probably more . Once [we]2348-we ’ve passed through [the summer room]2350-the room , [I]68-god ’m[68-god] lead down [a corridor]2350-the room until [big guy]327-jesse stops outside a wooden panelled door . ‘ [[Mr Ward]327-jesse ’s office]2353-mr ward ’s office . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse rumbles , knocking the door , surprisingly gently given [his]327-jesse mammoth size . ‘ [The Manager]2354-the owner ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . ‘ [The Owner]2354-the owner , ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse replies , opening the door and striding through . ‘ Come in . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt hesitate on the threshold , watching as [the big guy]327-jesse strides into [the room]2350-the room ahead of [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt eventually force [my]2342-matt feet into action , moving into [the room]2350-the room , while gazing around at [the equally luxurious surroundings of [[Mr Ward]327-jesse ’s office]2353-mr ward ’s office]328-the equally luxurious surroundings of mr ward ’s office . Chapter 2 ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse , [Miss O’Shea]832-ava , [Rococo Union]8-rococo union . ’[327-jesse] [Big guy]327-jesse announces . ‘ Perfect . Thanks , [John]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt ’m dragged from [my]2342-matt awed like state , straight into high alert . [My]2342-matt back straightens . [I]2342-matt ca n’t see [him]327-jesse , [he]327-jesse ’s obscured by [the big guy]327-jesse ’s massive frame , but that raspy , smooth voice has [me]2342-matt frozen on the spot , and it certainly does n’t sound like it ’s coming from a cigar smoking , overweight , wax jacket wearing [Lord of [the Manor]2356-the manor]2355-lord of the manor . [Big guy]327-jesse , or [John]832-ava as [I]2342-matt now know [him]832-ava , moves to the side , giving [me]2342-matt [my]2342-matt first glimpse of [Mr Jesse Ward]327-jesse . Oh good God . [My]2342-matt heart crashes against [my]2342-matt breast bone and [my]2342-matt nervous breathing rockets to damn right dangerous levels . [I]2342-matt suddenly feel light headed , and [my]2342-matt mouth is ignoring [my]2342-matt brains instructions to at least say something . [I]2342-matt just stand there staring at [this man]327-jesse , while [he]327-jesse stares back at [me]2342-matt . [His]327-jesse husky voice halted [me]2342-matt in [my]2342-matt tracks , but the sight of [him]327-jesse … well , that ’s just turned [me]2342-matt into a non - responsive , quivering wreck . [He]327-jesse rises from [his]327-jesse chair , [my]2342-matt gaze traveling up with [him]327-jesse until [he]327-jesse ’s stood at full height . [He]327-jesse ’s very tall . [His]327-jesse white shirt is casually rolled at the sleeves , but [he]327-jesse still wears a black tie , loosely knotted and hanging down the front of a broad chest . [He]327-jesse makes [his]327-jesse way around [his]327-jesse massive desk and slowly walks towards [me]2342-matt . It ’s then that [I]2342-matt take in the full impact of [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt gulp . [This man]327-jesse is so perfect , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] almost in pain . [His]330-he dirty blonde hair looks like [he]330-he ’s half attempted to get it into some semblance of a style but given up . [His]330-he eyes are sludgy green , but bright and way too intense , and the stubble covering [his]330-he square jaw does nothing to conceal the handsome features beneath it . [He]330-he ’s lightly tanned and just … Oh God , [he]330-he ’s devastating . [Lord of [the Manor]2356-the manor]2355-lord of the manor ? ‘ [Miss O’Shea]832-ava . ’[2355-lord of the manor] [His]2355-lord of the manor hand comes toward [me]2342-matt , but [I]2342-matt ca n’t persuade [my]2342-matt arm to raise and clasp [his]2355-lord of the manor outstretched offering . [He]330-he ’s beautiful . When [I]2342-matt do n’t offer [my]2342-matt hand , [he]330-he reaches forward and clasps both of [my]2342-matt shoulders , then slowly leans in to kiss [me]2342-matt , [his]330-he lips brushing lightly over [my]2342-matt burning cheek . [I]2342-matt tense all over . [I]2342-matt can hear [my]2342-matt pulse throbbing in [my]2342-matt ears , and even though it ’s completely inappropriate for a business meeting , [I]2342-matt do nothing to stop [him]330-he . [I]2342-matt ’m all over [the place]308-the place . ‘[2342-matt] It ’s a pleasure , ’ [he]330-he whispers in [my]2342-matt ear , which only serves to make [me]2342-matt moan slightly . [He]330-he must feel [my]2342-matt tenseness – it ’s not difficult , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] rigid – because [his]330-he grip eases up and [he]330-he lowers [his]330-he face to [my]2342-matt level , looking [me]2342-matt directly in the eyes . ‘ Are [you]330-he okay ? ’[330-he] [he]330-he asks , one side of [his]330-he mouth lifting into a semblance of a smile . [I]2342-matt notice a single frown line across [his]330-he forehead . [I]2342-matt snap [myself]2342-matt out of [my]2342-matt ridiculous inertness , suddenly aware that [I]2342-matt ’ve still not said anything . Has [he]330-he noticed [my]2342-matt reaction to [him]330-he ? What about [big guy]327-jesse ? [I]2342-matt glance over , seeing [the big guy]327-jesse stood motionless , glasses still in place , but [I]2342-matt know [his]327-jesse eyes are on [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt mentally shake [myself]2342-matt and step back , away from [Ward]327-jesse and [his]327-jesse potent grasp . [His]327-jesse hands fall to [his]327-jesse side . ‘ Hi , ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt cough to clear [my]2342-matt throat . ‘ [Ava]832-ava . [My]2342-matt name is [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt offer [him]327-jesse [my]2342-matt hand , but [he]327-jesse ’s unhurried in accepting it , like [he]327-jesse ’s unsure whether it ’s safe to , but [he]327-jesse does … eventually . [His]327-jesse hand is clammy and slightly shaky as [he]327-jesse squeezes [mine]2342-matt firmly . Sparks fizz and a curious look flits across [his]327-jesse stunning face . [We]334-we both retract [our]334-we hands in shock . ‘ [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse ’s trying [my]2342-matt name on [his]327-jesse lips , and it takes all of [my]2342-matt strength not to moan again . [He]327-jesse should stop talking – immediately . ‘ Yes , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt confirm . [He]327-jesse ’s [the one who seems to be off in [his]327-jesse own little nirvana now , while [I]2342-matt ’m becoming increasingly aware of [my]832-ava rising temperature]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse suddenly seems to come to [his]327-jesse senses , shoving [his]327-jesse hands in [his]327-jesse trouser pockets as [he]327-jesse shakes [his]327-jesse head slightly , retreating backwards . ‘[832-ava] Thanks , [John]832-ava . ’ [he]327-jesse nods to [the big guy]2342-matt , who smiles slightly , softening [his]327-jesse hard features , then leaves . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] alone with [this man]2342-matt , who has rendered [me]2342-matt speechless , motionless and pretty much useless . [He]2342-matt nods towards two brown leather couches , positioned opposite each other in the bay window , with a large coffee table sitting between [them]336-them . ‘ Please , take a seat . Can [I]2342-matt get [you]832-ava a drink ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt drags [his]2342-matt gaze from [mine]2342-matt , walking towards a cabinet with various bottles of liquor lined up on top . [He]2342-matt surely does n’t mean alcohol ? It ’s midday . Even by [my]2342-matt standards it ’s too early . [I]2342-matt watch as [he]2342-matt hovers at the cabinet for a few moments before turning to face [me]2342-matt again , looking at [me]2342-matt expectantly . ‘ No , thank [you]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head as [I]2342-matt speak , just in case the words do n’t come out . ‘ Water ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks , that smile playing at the corners of [his]2342-matt mouth . Oh God , do n’t look at [me]2342-matt . ‘ Please . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile a nervous smile . [My]2342-matt mouth is parched . [He]2342-matt collects two bottles of water from the integrated fridge and turns back towards [me]2342-matt . It ’s then that [I]2342-matt persuade [my]2342-matt shaky legs to carry [me]2342-matt across [the room]2350-the room to the sofa . ‘ [Ava]832-ava ? ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt voice rolls across [me]2342-matt , causing [me]2342-matt to falter en - route . [I]2342-matt turn to face [him]2342-matt . It ’s probably a bad idea . ‘ Yes ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt holds up a highball . ‘ Glass ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , please . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile . [He]2342-matt must think [I]2342-matt ’m so unprofessional . [I]2342-matt settle [myself]2342-matt on the leather couch , retrieve [my]2342-matt folder and phone from [my]2342-matt bag and place them on the table in front of [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt notice [my]2342-matt hands shaking . [Christ]72-jesus , [woman]72-jesus . Get a grip ! [I]2342-matt feign making notes as [he]2342-matt strolls back over , placing [my]2342-matt water and a glass on the table . [He]2342-matt sits down on the sofa opposite and crosses one leg over the other , [his]2342-matt ankle resting on [his]2342-matt thigh . [He]2342-matt stretches back . [He]2342-matt ’s really making [himself]2342-matt comfortable , and the silence that falls between [us]338-i is screaming as [I]2342-matt write anything and everything to avoid looking up at [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt ’ve got to look at [the man]2342-matt and say something at some point , but all standard enquiry questions have run , screaming and shouting , from [my]2342-matt brain . ‘[2342-matt] So , where do [we]338-i start ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks , forcing [me]338-i look up and acknowledge [his]2342-matt question . [He]2342-matt smiles . [I]338-i swoon . [He]2342-matt ’s watching [me]338-i over the rim of [his]2342-matt bottle as [he]2342-matt raises it to those lovely lips . [I]338-i break the eye contact , reaching forward to pour some water into [my]338-i glass . [I]338-i ’m[338-i] struggling to reign in [my]2342-matt nerves , and [I]2342-matt can still feel [his]339-his eyes on [me]2342-matt . This is truly awkward . [I]2342-matt ’ve never been so affected by [a man]340-a man . ‘ [I]2342-matt guess [you]340-a man should tell [me]2342-matt why [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] here . ’ [I]2342-matt speak ! [I]2342-matt look back up at [him]340-a man as [I]2342-matt take [my]2342-matt glass from the table . ‘[2342-matt] Oh ? ’ [he]340-a man says quietly . There ’s that frown line again . Even with that , [he]340-a man ’s still beautiful . ‘[341-you] [You]341-you requested [me]2342-matt by name ? ’ [I]341-you press . ‘[341-you] Yes . ’ [he]340-a man replies simply . [He]340-a man smiles again . [I]341-you have to look away . [I]341-you take a sip of [my]341-you water to moisten [my]341-you dry mouth , and clear [my]341-you throat before returning [my]341-you gaze to [his]340-a man potent stare . ‘[341-you] So , can [I]2342-matt ask why ? ’ ‘[341-you] [You]341-you can . ’ [He]340-a man uncrosses [his]340-a man leg , leaning forward to place [his]340-a man bottle on the table , resting [his]340-a man forearms on [his]340-a man knees , but [he]340-a man says no more . Is [he]340-a man not going to elaborate on that ? ‘[341-you] Okay , ’ [I]341-you struggle to maintain eye contact . ‘[341-you] Why ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve heard great things about [you]341-you . ’ [I]2342-matt feel [my]2342-matt face burning up . ‘[2342-matt] Thank [you]341-you . So , why am [I]2342-matt [here]310-whoever ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Well , to design . ’ [He]340-a man laughs , and [I]2342-matt feel stupid but slightly irritated as well . Is [he]340-a man making fun of [me]2342-matt ? ‘[2342-matt] Design what exactly ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . ‘[2342-matt] From what [I]2342-matt ’ve seen , everything is pretty perfect . ’ [He]340-a man surely does n’t want to modernise [this lovely place]310-whoever . It may not be [my]2342-matt forte , but [I]2342-matt know class when [I]2342-matt see it . ‘[2342-matt] Thank [you]341-you , ’ [he]340-a man says softly . ‘[341-you] Do [you]341-you have [your]341-you portfolio with [you]341-you ? ’ ‘[341-you] Of course , ’ [I]341-you reply , reaching into [my]341-you bag . Why [he]340-a man wants to look at it is beyond [me]341-you . It wo n’t reflect anything like [this place]310-whoever . [I]341-you place it on the table in front of [him]340-a man and expect [him]340-a man to drag it over to [his]340-a man side , but to [my]341-you horror , [he]340-a man stands in one fluid movement and walks around to [me]341-you , lowering [his]340-a man lovely lean body onto the sofa next to [me]341-you . Oh , [Jesus]72-jesus . [He]341-you smells divine – all fresh water and minty . [I]341-you hold [my]341-you breath . Leaning forward , [he]341-you opens the folder . ‘[341-you] [You]341-you ’re very young to be such [an accomplished designer]2358-an accomplished designer . ’[341-you] [he]341-you muses , slowly turning the pages of [my]2342-matt portfolio . [He]341-you ’s right , [I]2342-matt am . It ’s only thanks to [Patrick]327-jesse for giving [me]2342-matt free reign on the expansion of [his]327-jesse business . In four years , [I]2342-matt ’ve fallen out of [college]343-college , picked up a job in [an established design company]344-an established design company – that had the financial stability but lacked the new freshness in modern ideas – and made a name for [myself]2342-matt on the back of it . [I]2342-matt ’ve been lucky , and [I]2342-matt appreciate [Patrick]327-jesse ’s faith in [my]2342-matt capabilities . That , coupled with [my]2342-matt contract at [Lusso]66-lusso , is the only reason [I]2342-matt ’m where [I]2342-matt am at the age of twenty six . [I]2342-matt look down at [his]327-jesse lovely hand , [his]327-jesse wrist adorned in a beautiful gold and graphite Rolex . ‘[2342-matt] How old are [you]345-i ? ’ [I]345-i blurt . Oh , good God . [My]345-i brain is like scrambled egg , and [I]345-i know [I]345-i ’ve just blushed a sharp shade of red . [I]345-i should just keep [my]345-i mouth shut . Where the hell did that come from ? [He]345-i looks at [me]345-i intently , [his]345-i green eyes burning into [mine]345-i . ‘[345-i] Twenty one . ’ [he]345-i answers , completely pokerfaced . [I]345-i scoff mildly , and [his]345-i eyebrows jump up questioningly . ‘[345-i] Sorry . ’ [I]345-i mutter , turning back to the table . [I]345-i ’m[345-i] feeling flustered . [I]2342-matt hear [him]345-i exhale heavily as [his]345-i lovely hand reaches back down to [my]2342-matt portfolio to start turning the pages again , [his]345-i left hand resting on the edge of the table . [I]2342-matt notice no ring . [He]345-i ’s not married ? How can that be ? ‘ This , [I]345-i like a lot . ’[345-i] [He]345-i points to the photographs of [Lusso]66-lusso . ‘ [I]345-i ’m[345-i] not sure [my]2342-matt works on [Lusso]66-lusso would fit in here . ’ [I]346-you say quietly . It ’s way too modern – luxurious , yes , but too modern . [He]345-i looks up at [me]346-you . ‘[346-you] [You]346-you ’re right , [I]346-you ’m[346-you] just saying … [I]2342-matt really like it . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Thank [you]346-you . ’ [I]2342-matt feel [my]2342-matt colour deepen as [he]345-i studies [me]2342-matt thoughtfully before returning to [my]2342-matt portfolio . [I]2342-matt make a grab for [my]2342-matt water , resisting the temptation to chuck it down [my]2342-matt front to cool [me]2342-matt off , but very nearly do when [his]345-i trouser clad thigh brushes against [my]2342-matt bare knee . [I]2342-matt shift quickly to break the contact , glancing out the corner of [my]2342-matt eye to see a small smirk breaking at the edge of [his]347-he mouth . [He]347-he ’s doing this on purpose . It ’s too much . ‘[2342-matt] Do [you]346-you have a toilet ? ’ [I]347-he ask as [I]347-he place [my]347-he glass back on the table and stand . [I]347-he need to go and compose [myself]347-he . [I]347-he ’m[347-he] a ruffled mess . [He]347-he rises from the couch swiftly , moving back to let [me]2342-matt pass . ‘ Through [the summer room]2350-the room and on [your]346-you left . ’[347-he] [he]347-he says with a smile . [He]347-he knows [he]347-he ’s affecting [me]2342-matt . The way [he]347-he ’s smiling at [me]2342-matt , knowingly , [I]2342-matt bet [he]347-he has this sort of reaction from [women]348-women all of the time . ‘ Thank [you]346-you . ’[347-he] [I]2342-matt edge out of the small gape between the table and the sofa , [my]2342-matt task hampered as [he]347-he makes no attempt to give [me]2342-matt more space . [I]2342-matt have to virtually brush past [him]347-he , and that has [me]2342-matt holding [my]2342-matt breath until [I]2342-matt ’m clear of [his]347-he body . [I]832-ava walk towards the door . [His]347-he eyes are on [me]832-ava ; [I]832-ava can feel them burning a hole through [my]832-ava dress . [I]832-ava roll [my]832-ava neck to try and rid [myself]832-ava of the goose bumps jumping onto [my]832-ava nape . Stumbling out of [[his]347-he office]279-the office , [I]832-ava head down [the corridor]2350-the room before wandering through [the summer room]2350-the room and staggering into the ridiculously posh lavatories . [I]832-ava brace [myself]832-ava over the sink and look in the mirror . ‘[832-ava] Jesus , [Ava]832-ava . Pull it together ! ’ [I]349-the lord scorn [my]349-the lord reflection . ‘[349-the lord] Met [the Lord]349-the lord , have [we]350-we ? ’ [I]349-the lord swing around and find [a very attractive business lady]349-the lord , faffing with [her]349-the lord hair at the other end of [the room]2350-the room . [I]349-the lord have no idea what to say , but [she]349-the lord ’s just confirmed what [I]349-the lord already suspected – [he]347-he does have this affect on [all women]2362-all women . When [my]349-the lord brain fails to deliver on anything suitable to say , [I]349-the lord just smile . [She]349-the lord returns [my]349-the lord smile , amused and knowing of the reason for [my]349-the lord flustered state , before disappearing from [the toilets]2363-the toilets . If [I]349-the lord was n’t feeling so hot and nervous , [I]349-the lord might be embarrassed at [my]349-the lord obvious condition . But [I]349-the lord am hot , and [I]349-the lord ’m[349-the lord] very nervous , so [I]2342-matt brush off [my]2342-matt humiliation , take some steady breaths and wash [my]2342-matt clammy hands with the Noble Isle hand wash . [I]2342-matt should have brought [my]2342-matt bag . [I]2342-matt could do with some Vaseline on [my]2342-matt lips . [My]2342-matt mouth is still dry and [my]2342-matt lips are suffering as a consequence . Okay , [I]2342-matt need to get back out there , get the specification and be gone . [My]2342-matt heart is pleading for some let up . [I]2342-matt ’m completely ashamed of [myself]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt re - pin [my]2342-matt hair and exit [the toilets]2363-the toilets , making [my]2342-matt way back to [[Mr Ward]327-jesse ’s office]2353-mr ward ’s office . [I]2342-matt do n’t know if [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to be able to work for [this man]327-jesse ; [I]2342-matt ’m just way too affected by [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt knock before [I]2342-matt enter , finding [him]327-jesse sat on the couch looking over [my]2342-matt portfolio . [He]327-jesse looks up and smiles , and [I]2342-matt know now , [I]2342-matt really have to leave . [I]2342-matt ca n’t possibly work with [this man]327-jesse . Every molecule of intelligence and brain power [I]2342-matt possess has been zapped from [my]2342-matt body by [his]327-jesse presence . And worse of all , [he]327-jesse knows it . [I]2342-matt give [myself]2342-matt a mental pep talk , making [my]2342-matt way over to the table , ignoring the fact that [he]327-jesse ’s following [my]2342-matt every move . [He]327-jesse leans back on the sofa in a gesture for [me]2342-matt to squeeze past , but [I]2342-matt do n’t . [I]2342-matt take a seat on the opposite sofa , perching on the edge . [He]327-jesse flicks [me]2342-matt a questioning look . ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]352-you okay ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Yes , [I]2342-matt ’m fine , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt answer shortly . [He]2342-matt knows . ‘ Would [you]352-you like to show [me]2342-matt where [your]352-you intended project is so [we]2366-we can start discussing requirements ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt force the confidence into [my]2342-matt voice . [I]2342-matt ’m just following protocol now . [I]2342-matt ’ve absolutely no intention of taking this contract on , but [I]2342-matt ca n’t just walk out – as tempting as it is . [He]327-jesse raises [his]327-jesse eyebrows , clearly surprised by [my]2342-matt change of approach . ‘[2342-matt] Sure . ’ [He]327-jesse gets up from the sofa , striding over to [his]327-jesse desk to collect [his]327-jesse mobile . [I]2342-matt gather [my]2342-matt things , stuff them into [my]2342-matt bag and follow [his]327-jesse gesture to lead the way . [He]327-jesse quickly overtakes [me]2342-matt , opening the door and performing an exaggerated gentlemanly bow as [he]327-jesse holds it open . [I]2342-matt smile politely – even though [I]2342-matt know [he]327-jesse ’s playing with [me]2342-matt – and exit into [the corridor]2350-the room , heading towards [the summer room]2350-the room . [I]2342-matt stiffen on a gasp when [he]327-jesse places a hand at the small of [my]2342-matt back to guide [me]2342-matt . What ’s [he]327-jesse playing at ? [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] trying [my]2342-matt hardest to ignore it , but [you]353-you would have to be dead not to notice the affect [this man]327-jesse ’s having on [me]2342-matt . And [I]2342-matt know [he]327-jesse knows it . [My]2342-matt skin ’s burning all over – almost certainly warming [his]327-jesse palm through [my]2342-matt dress – [I]2342-matt ca n’t get [my]2342-matt breathing under control and walking is taking every bit of coordination and effort [I]2342-matt possess . [I]2342-matt ’m pathetic , and it ’s bloody obvious [he]327-jesse ’s enjoying the reactions [he]327-jesse ’s drawing from [me]355-i . [I]355-i must be quite amusing . Annoyed with [myself]355-i , [I]355-i walk a little quicker to break the contact of [his]327-jesse hand from [my]355-i back , stopping when [I]355-i reach the point of two possible routes . [He]327-jesse reaches [me]355-i , pointing out across the lawns to [the tennis courts]2368-the tennis courts . ‘[355-i] Do [you]355-i play ? ’ [I]355-i actually laugh , but it ’s a comfortable laugh . ‘[355-i] No , [I]2342-matt do n’t . ’ [I]355-i can run , but that ’s about it . Give [me]355-i a bat , racket or a ball , then [you]355-i ’re[355-i] asking for trouble . The corners of [his]2342-matt mouth twitch into a grin at [my]2342-matt reaction , bolstering the green of [his]2342-matt eyes and lengthening [his]2342-matt generous lashes . [I]2342-matt smile , shaking [my]2342-matt head in wonder at [this glorious man]2342-matt . ‘ [You]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [He]2342-matt continues through to [the entrance hall]356-the entrance hall , [me]2342-matt following . ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t mind the odd game , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] more of [an extreme sports kinda guy]357-an extreme sports kinda guy . ’ [He]2342-matt stops , and [I]357-an extreme sports kinda guy halt with [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt looks ridiculously fit and toned . ‘[357-an extreme sports kinda guy] What sort of extreme sports ? ’ ‘[357-an extreme sports kinda guy] Snow - boarding , mainly , but [I]2342-matt ’ve tried [my]2342-matt hand at white water rafting , bungee jumping and skydiving . [I]2342-matt ’m a bit of an adrenalin junky . [I]2342-matt like to feel the blood pumping . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt watches [me]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt speaks , making [me]2342-matt feel scrutinised . [You]358-you would have to anesthetise [me]2342-matt before [you]358-you got [me]2342-matt doing any of [his]2342-matt blood pumping pastimes . [I]2342-matt ’ll stick to a run every so often . ‘ Extreme . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say , studying [this magnificent man of an age]359-this magnificent man of an age [I]2342-matt do n’t know . ‘ Very extreme , ’[359-this magnificent man of an age] [he]359-this magnificent man of an age confirms quietly . [My]2342-matt breath catches again and [I]2342-matt close [my]2342-matt eyes , mentally yelling at [myself]2342-matt for being such [a loser]360-a loser . ‘ Shall [we]2369-we continue ? ’[359-this magnificent man of an age] [he]359-this magnificent man of an age asks . [I]2342-matt can hear humour in [his]359-this magnificent man of an age voice . [I]2342-matt open [my]2342-matt eyes to be met by [his]359-this magnificent man of an age penetrating , green stare . ‘ Yes , please . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt wish [he]359-this magnificent man of an age would stop looking at [me]2342-matt like that . [He]359-this magnificent man of an age half smiles again and walks into [the bar]361-the bar , greeting [the men [I]2342-matt saw earlier by clapping [them]362-the men i saw earlier by clapping them on the shoulders on the shoulders]362-the men i saw earlier by clapping them on the shoulders . [The woman]363-irene is no longer [here]314-here . [The two men]365-the two men are very attractive , young – probably late twenties – and perched on bar stools , drinking bottles of beer . ‘ Guys , this is [Ava]832-ava . [Ava]832-ava , this is [Sam Kelt]1914-sam and [Drew Davies]327-jesse . ’[365-the two men] ‘ Good afternoon . ’[327-jesse] [Drew]327-jesse drawls . [He]327-jesse ’s a bit miserable . [His]327-jesse appearance – [he]327-jesse ’s handsome in a rugged kind of way – and character , tell [me]2342-matt [he]327-jesse ’s smart , confident and [a business type]366-a business type . [His]327-jesse black hair is perfectly styled , [his]327-jesse suit pristine , [his]327-jesse eyes shrewd . ‘ Hi . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile politely . ‘ Welcome to [the pleasure dome]2370-the pleasure dome , ’[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam laughs , raising [his]327-jesse bottle . ‘ Can [I]1914-sam buy [you]1914-sam a drink ? ’[1914-sam] [I]2342-matt notice [Ward]327-jesse shake [his]327-jesse head lightly on an eye roll . [Sam]1914-sam grins . [He]327-jesse ’s the polar opposite of [Drew]327-jesse – all casual and laid back , in old jeans , a Superdry T - shirt and converse . [He]327-jesse has a cheeky face , complimented by one dimple on [his]327-jesse left cheek . [His]327-jesse blue eyes twinkle , adding to [his]327-jesse cheekiness , and [his]327-jesse mousey brown , shoulder length hair is all over the place . ‘ No , [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] fine , thanks . ’ [I]327-jesse answer . [He]327-jesse nods at [Ward]327-jesse . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’ ‘[327-jesse] No , [I]2342-matt ’m good , [I‘m]2342-matt just giving [Ava]832-ava a tour of the extension . [She]832-ava ’ll be working on [the interiors]2371-the interiors . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse says , smiling at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt quietly scoff to [myself]2342-matt . Not if [I]2342-matt have anything to do with it . Anyway , [he]327-jesse ’s jumping the gun a bit , is n’t [he]327-jesse ? [We]367-we ’ve not discussed rates , briefs or anything , for that matter . ‘ About time , there are never [any rooms available]2372-any rooms available . ’[327-jesse] [Drew]327-jesse grumbles into [his]327-jesse bottle . Why have [I]2342-matt never heard of [this place]310-whoever ? ‘ How was [the boarding in [Cortina]9-cortina]2373-the boarding in cortina , [[my]1914-sam man]327-jesse ? ’[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam asks . [Ward]327-jesse perches on another stool . ‘ Amazing . The Italian way of skiing follows pretty closely to [their]2374-their laid back lifestyle , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse smiles broadly , the first proper full beam smile since [I]2342-matt ’ve laid eyes on [him]327-jesse – all straight , white and lush . [This man]327-jesse is [a God]327-jesse . ‘ [I]327-jesse got up late , found [a great mountain]2375-a great mountain , ran [the slopes]370-the slopes until [my]327-jesse legs buckled , had a siesta , ate late and started all over again the next day . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse ’s addressing [us]369-us all but staring at [me]2342-matt . [His]327-jesse passion for [the slopes]370-the slopes is demonstrated in [his]327-jesse wide smile . [I]2342-matt ca n’t help but return [his]327-jesse beam . ‘ [You]327-jesse ’re[2342-matt] good ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask , because it ’s the only thing that comes to mind . [I]2342-matt imagine [he]327-jesse ’s good at everything . ‘[2342-matt] Very , ’ [he]327-jesse confirms quietly . [I]2342-matt nod [my]2342-matt approval , and for a few seconds , [our]369-us eyes are locked . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] the first to break it . ‘ Shall [we]369-us ? ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse asks , pushing [himself]327-jesse up from the stool and gesturing towards [the exit]371-the exit . ‘ Yes . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile . [I]2342-matt ’m supposedly here to work , after all . All [I]2342-matt ’ve achieved so far is a hot flush and an establishment of extreme sports . [I]2342-matt feel like [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] in a trance . From the moment [I]2342-matt pulled up to those gates , [I]2342-matt knew it was n’t going to be an average day to day meeting , and [I]2342-matt was right . In the four years [I]2342-matt ’ve been visiting [people]372-people in [[their]372-people homes]373-their homes , [work places]374-work places and new builds , [I]2342-matt ’ve never come across a [Jesse Ward]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt probably never will do again . It ’s undoubtedly a good job . [I]2342-matt turn to [the two guys]375-the two guys at [the bar]361-the bar , smiling [my]2342-matt goodbye , prompting [them]375-the two guys to raise [their]375-the two guys bottles before [they]375-the two guys continue with [their]375-the two guys conversation . [I]2342-matt walk towards the door that leads back to [the entrance hall]356-the entrance hall , feeling [him]378-he close behind [me]2342-matt . [He]378-he ’s too close ; [I]2342-matt can smell [him]378-he . [I]2342-matt close [my]2342-matt eyes , sending a small prayer to [God]68-god to get [me]2342-matt through this quickly , with at least a bit of dignity intact . [He]378-he ’s just way too intense and it ’s throwing [my]2342-matt senses in a million different directions . ‘ So , now for the main feature , ’[378-he] [He]378-he begins to climb [the wide staircase]272-the stairs . [I]2342-matt follow [him]378-he , gazing around the colossal void that leads to a huge gallery landing . ‘ These are [the private rooms]2376-the private rooms . ’[378-he] [he]378-he says , pointing to various doors that lead off of [the landing]380-the landing . [I]2342-matt follow , admiring [his]378-he lovely backside , thinking [he]378-he possibly has the sexiest walk [I]2342-matt ’ve ever had the privilege of seeing . When [I]2342-matt drag [my]2342-matt eyes from [his]378-he tidy rear , [I]2342-matt see that there are at least twenty doors , evenly spaced and leading into [rooms]381-rooms beyond . [He]378-he leads [me]2342-matt until [we]382-we reach [another grand staircase that stretches to another floor]383-another grand staircase that stretches to another floor . At the foot of [the stairs]272-the stairs , there ’s a beautiful stained glass window and an archway leading to another wing . ‘ This is the extension , ’[378-he] [He]378-he guides [me]2342-matt through to [a new section of [the mansion]308-the place]384-a new section of the mansion . ‘ This is where [I]378-he need [your]378-he help . ’[378-he] [he]378-he adds , halting at the mouth of a corridor that leads to [a further ten rooms]386-a further ten rooms . ‘ This is all new ? ’[378-he] [I]2342-matt ask . ‘ Yes , [they]386-a further ten rooms ’re[2342-matt] all shells at the moment , but [I]2342-matt ’m sure [you]378-he ’ll remedy that . Let [me]2342-matt show [you]378-he . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m way past shocked when [he]378-he takes [my]2342-matt hand , tugging [me]2342-matt down [the corridor]2361-the corridor to the very last door . Inappropriate ! [His]378-he hand is still clammy , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sure [mine]2342-matt is trembling in [his]378-he grip . The arched brow on a slight grin [he]378-he flashes [me]2342-matt , tells [me]2342-matt [I]2342-matt ’m right . There ’s some sort of super charged current flowing through [us]2378-us – it ’s making [me]387-i shudder . [He]378-he opens the door , directing [me]387-i into [a freshly plastered room]2350-the room . It ’s vast , and the new windows are sympathetic to [the existing property]2380-the existing property . [Whoever]310-whoever built this did an excellent job . ‘[387-i] Are [they]387-i all this big ? ’ [I]387-i ask , flexing [my]387-i fingers until [he]378-he releases [my]387-i hand . Does [he]378-he behave like this with [all females]2381-all females ? It ’s really off putting . ‘[387-i] Yes . ’ [I]387-i walk into the centre of [the room]2350-the room , looking around . It ’s a good size . [I]387-i notice another door . ‘[387-i] En - suite ? ’ [I]387-i ask as [I]387-i wander over and enter . ‘[387-i] Yes . ’ [The rooms]2350-the room are huge , especially by hotel standards . A lot could be done with [them]2350-the room . [I]387-i would be excited , if [I]387-i was n’t so concerned with what ’s expected of [me]387-i . This is no [Lusso]66-lusso . [I]387-i exit [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom , finding [Ward]327-jesse leaning against the wall , [his]327-jesse hands in [his]327-jesse trouser pockets , [his]327-jesse eyes all hooded and dark as [he]327-jesse watches [me]387-i . [[My]387-i God]2383-god , [the man]327-jesse is sex on legs . [I]387-i ’m[387-i] almost disappointed that traditional does n’t feature in [my]2342-matt design history . It ’s of no interest to [me]2342-matt at all . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not sure [I]2342-matt ’m [the right person for this job]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt sound regretful . That ’s okay , because [I]2342-matt am . [I]2342-matt ’m regretful that [I]2342-matt ca n’t pull [myself]2342-matt together . [He]327-jesse looks at [me]2342-matt , those sludgy eyes stabbing at [my]2342-matt defenses , making [me]2342-matt shift on [my]2342-matt heels . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt think [you]388-you have what [I]2342-matt want . ’ [he]327-jesse says quietly . WHOA ! ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve always dealt in modern luxury , ’ [I]2342-matt look around [the room]2350-the room again , slowly dropping [my]2342-matt eyes back to [him]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sure [you]388-you would be happier working with [Patrick]327-jesse or [Tom]60-tom . [They]2385-they deal with [our]2385-they period projects . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt considers [me]2342-matt for a second , does that head shake thing and pushes [himself]2342-matt away from the wall by [his]2342-matt shoulder blades . ‘ But [I]2342-matt want [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Why ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]2342-matt look like [you]2342-matt ’ll be very good . ’[2342-matt] An involuntary rush of breath escapes [my]2342-matt lips at [his]2342-matt words . [I]2342-matt ’m not sure what to make of that statement . Does [he]2342-matt mean for [my]2342-matt design skills or something else ? The way [he]2342-matt ’s looking at [me]2342-matt , tells [me]2342-matt it ’s the latter . [He]2342-matt ’s a bit bloody confident . ‘[2342-matt] What ’s [your]389-i brief ? ’ [I]389-i ask , because all other words fail [me]389-i . [My]389-i colour is rising again . A smile tickles the corners of [his]2342-matt mouth . ‘[389-i] Sensual , intimate , luxurious , stimulating , invigorating … ’ [He]2342-matt pauses to gage [my]389-i reaction . [I]389-i frown . It ’s not the usual brief . Relaxing , functional or practical were not mentioned at all . ‘[389-i] Okay , anything in particular [I]2342-matt should allow for ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . Why am [I]2342-matt bothering with these questions ? ‘[2342-matt] A big bed and lots of wall hangings . ’ [he]2342-matt states on a husk . ‘[2342-matt] What sort of wall hangings ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Big , wooden ones . Oh , and the lighting needs to suit . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Suit what ? ’ [I]2342-matt ca n’t help the confusion in [my]2342-matt tone . [He]2342-matt smiles , and [I]2342-matt dissolve on the spot in a hot pool of hormones . ‘[2342-matt] Well , the brief , of course . ’ Oh God , [he]2342-matt must think [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] something else . ‘ Yes , of course , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look up , seeing chunky beams spanning the ceiling . [The building]390-the building is new , but they are no faux beams . ‘ Do all of [the rooms]2379-the rooms have [them]2379-the rooms ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt return [my]2342-matt eyes to [his]327-jesse . ‘ Yes , [they]2379-the rooms ’re[2342-matt] essential . ’ [His]327-jesse voice is low and seductive . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not sure how much more [I]2342-matt can take . [I]2342-matt grab [my]2342-matt client briefing pad to start making notes . ‘ Are there any particular colours [I]2342-matt should work to or against ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ No , knock [yourself]2387-yourself out . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt flick [my]2342-matt head up to look at [him]327-jesse . ‘ Excuse [me]327-jesse ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse smiles . ‘ Go for it . ’[327-jesse] Oh , well , [I]2342-matt wo n’t be knocking [myself]2342-matt out on anything because [he]327-jesse wo n’t be seeing [me]2342-matt [here]314-here again . But [I]2342-matt should get as much information as possible so [I]2342-matt can pass it to [Patrick]327-jesse or [Tom]60-tom , with at least a bit of willingness . ‘ [You]2388-you mentioned a big bed . [Any particular type]2389-any particular type ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask , trying to remain professional . ‘ No , just very big , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt falter mid - note , slowly looking up to find [him]327-jesse watching [me]2342-matt . It ’s making [me]2342-matt stupidly nervous . ‘ What about soft furnishings ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , [lots]2390-lots . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse starts walking towards [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]327-jesse like [your]2388-you dress . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse whispers . Holy shit , [I]2342-matt ’m out of [here]314-here ! ‘[2342-matt] Thanks , ’ [I]2342-matt squeak , making for the door . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt have everything [I]2342-matt need . ’ [I]2342-matt do n’t , but [I]2342-matt ca n’t stay [here]314-here any longer . [This man]327-jesse is like a sensory drain on [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll get some designs together . ’ [I]2342-matt exit into [the corridor]2361-the corridor , heading straight for [the gallery landing]2393-the gallery landing . Bloody hell , when [I]2342-matt woke up this morning , this was the last thing [I]2342-matt expected . [Posh country mansion]2394-posh country mansion – with [a painfully handsome owner]2395-a painfully handsome owner to round the package off – is not part of [my]2342-matt regular daily routine . [I]2342-matt find [my]2342-matt way to the top of [the stairs]272-the stairs , bolting down at a stupid rate , considering the tan stilettos [I]2342-matt have on . [I]2342-matt hit the parquet floor , wondering how the hell [I]2342-matt got [here]314-here . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] a mess . ‘ [I]2342-matt look forward to hearing from [you]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt husky voice rolls over [my]2342-matt flesh as [he]2342-matt joins [me]2342-matt at the bottom of [the stairs]272-the stairs , putting [his]2342-matt hand out . [I]2342-matt take it in [mine]2342-matt for fear that if [I]2342-matt do n’t , [he]2342-matt may well clench [me]2342-matt and place [his]2342-matt lips on [me]2342-matt again . ‘ [You]2342-matt have [a lovely hotel]2398-a lovely hotel . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say genuinely . [I]2342-matt ’m beginning to wish that [my]2342-matt handbag contents consisted of spare knickers , a blind fold , ear plugs and some armor . [I]2342-matt might have been more prepared . [His]2342-matt eyebrows shoot up as [he]2342-matt keeps hold of [my]2342-matt hand and slowly shakes it . The buzz travelling through [our]2399-our joined hands makes [me]2342-matt tense all over . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt have [a lovely hotel]2398-a lovely hotel . ’ [he]2342-matt repeats thoughtfully . The buzz transforms to a full on jolt of electricity , and [I]2342-matt retract [my]2342-matt hand under reflex . [He]2342-matt looks at [me]2342-matt questioningly . ‘[2342-matt] It really was nice to meet [you]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [He]2342-matt emphasises the really . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt too , ’ [I]2342-matt practically whisper . [I]2342-matt watch as [his]2342-matt eyes dart briefly and [he]2342-matt starts chewing [his]2342-matt bottom lip . [His]2342-matt shifting body eventually moves over to the centre table of [the entrance hall]356-the entrance hall . [He]2342-matt pulls out a single calla lily from the huge spray that ’s dominating the piece of furniture . [He]2342-matt studies it for a few moments before [he]2342-matt holds it out to [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Understated elegance . ’ [he]2342-matt says softly . [I]2342-matt do n’t know why , maybe because [my]2342-matt brain is mush , but [I]2342-matt take it . ‘[2342-matt] Thank [you]2342-matt . ’ [He]2342-matt puts [his]2342-matt abandoned hand in [his]2342-matt pocket , watching [me]2342-matt closely . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt ’re more than welcome . ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt gaze travels from [my]2342-matt eyes to [my]2342-matt lips . [I]2342-matt take a few steps back . ‘ There [you]2342-matt are ! ’[2342-matt] [A woman]395-a woman walks out of [the bar]361-the bar and towards [Ward]327-jesse . [She]395-a woman ’s attractive – all blonde , mid - length , layered hair and red , pouty lips . [She]395-a woman kisses [his]2342-matt cheek . ‘ Are [you]2342-matt ready ? ’[395-a woman] Okay , [I]2342-matt ’m assuming this must be [the wife]395-a woman . But there was no ring , so maybe it ’s [the girlfriend]395-a woman ? Either or , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] completely stunned when [he]2342-matt does n’t take [his]2342-matt eyes off of [me]2342-matt , making no attempt to answer [her]395-a woman question . [She]395-a woman turns to see what ’s stealing [his]2342-matt attention and eyes [me]2342-matt suspiciously . [I]2342-matt do n’t like [her]395-a woman instantly , and it has nothing to do with [the man [she]395-a woman ’s draped all over]397-the man she ’s draped all over . ‘ And [you]397-the man she ’s draped all over are ? ’[395-a woman] [she]395-a woman purrs . [I]2342-matt shift uncomfortably , feeling like [I]2342-matt ’ve been captured doing something naughty . Well , [I]2342-matt have . [I]2342-matt ’ve been having extreme unwelcome reactions to [[her]395-a woman boyfriend]398-her boyfriend . An unreasonable pang of jealousy stabs at [me]2342-matt . How ridiculous ! [I]2342-matt smile sweetly . ‘ Just leaving . Goodbye . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt turn , practically running to the door and scuttling down the steps . [I]2342-matt jump into [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car , letting out an almighty breath , and when [my]2342-matt lungs have thanked [me]2342-matt for the welcome air , [I]2342-matt flop back in [my]2342-matt seat and commence breathing regulating exercises . [I]2342-matt ’m going to have to pass this to [Tom]60-tom . But then [I]2342-matt laugh at [my]2342-matt stupid idea . [Tom]60-tom ’s gay . [He]60-tom ’ll be just as affected by [Ward]327-jesse as [I]2342-matt am . Even knowing [he]60-tom ’s taken , [I]2342-matt still could n’t work with [him]60-tom . [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head in disbelief and start [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car . As [I]2342-matt drive down [the gravel driveway]2402-the gravel driveway , [I]2342-matt look in [my]2342-matt rear view mirror at [the imposing Manor]2403-the imposing manor getting smaller and smaller behind [me]2342-matt . And there , stood at the top of the steps watching [me]2342-matt leave , is [Jesse Ward]327-jesse . * * * ‘[2342-matt] There [you]400-you are . [I]2342-matt was just going to call [you]400-you , ’ [Kate]2557-kate exclaims , without looking up from placing a figurine on the wedding cake [she]2557-kate ’s decorating . [Her]2557-kate tongue ’s hanging out , resting on [her]2557-kate bottom lip . It makes [me]2342-matt smile . ‘[2342-matt] Do [you]400-you fancy going out ? ’ [She]2557-kate still does n’t look up . This is good . [I]400-you ’m[400-you] sure [my]2342-matt face will give away any attempt to feign coolness . [I]2342-matt ’m still slightly flustered after [my]2342-matt lunchtime meeting with [a certain Lord of [the Manor]2356-the manor]2404-a certain lord of the manor . [I]2342-matt do n’t have the energy to get ready and go out . ‘[2342-matt] Shall [we]401-i save [ourselves]401-i for tomorrow ? ’ [I]401-i try . [I]401-i know this will mean a bottle of wine on the sofa , but at least [I]401-i can put [my]401-i PJ ’s on and chill out . After the day [I]401-i ’ve had , winding down [my]401-i racing mind is paramount . [I]401-i ’ve got a headache and lacked the ability to concentrate all day . ‘[401-i] Absolutely . Let [me]2342-matt finish this cake , then [I]2342-matt ’m all [yours]65-ha . ’[402-she] [She]402-she swivels the fruit cake on the stand , dabbing edible glue onto the icing . ‘ How was [your]65-ha day in [the countryside]293-the countryside ? ’[65-ha] [Ha]65-ha ! What do [I]2342-matt say ? [I]2342-matt expected [a pompous country bumpkin]403-a pompous country bumpkin , but [I]2342-matt got a devastatingly handsome , suited [God]68-god . [He]403-a pompous country bumpkin requested [me]2342-matt by name , [his]403-a pompous country bumpkin touch turned [me]2342-matt to molten lava , [I]2342-matt ca n’t look in [his]403-a pompous country bumpkin eyes for fear of passing out and [he]403-a pompous country bumpkin liked [my]2342-matt dress . Instead , [I]2342-matt say , ‘ Interesting , ’[402-she] [She]402-she looks up . ‘ Do tell . ’[402-she] [she]402-she prompts , [her]402-she eyes sparkling as [she]402-she bends back down , [her]402-she tongue popping out again . ‘ It was n’t what [I]402-she expected . ’[402-she] [I]2342-matt flick a piece of imaginary lint off of [my]2342-matt navy dress in an attempt to appear casual . ‘ Leave out what [you]2407-you expected and tell [me]402-she what [you]2407-you got . ’[402-she] [She]402-she ’s stopped trying to fix [husband]2354-the owner and [wife]2354-the owner to the top of the cake . Instead , [her]402-she eyes are narrowed on [me]2342-matt . [She]402-she has icing on the end of [her]402-she nose , but [I]2342-matt ignore it . ‘ [The owner]2354-the owner , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shrug , fiddling with [my]2342-matt tan belt . ‘ [The owner]2354-the owner ? ’[402-she] [she]402-she asks , [her]402-she lips twitching . ‘ Yes . [Jesse Ward]327-jesse , [the owner]2354-the owner . ’[402-she] [I]2342-matt flick more imaginary lint from [my]2342-matt dress . ‘ [Jesse Ward]327-jesse , [the owner]2354-the owner . ’[402-she] [she]402-she mimics [me]2342-matt , pointing to one of the flowery tub chairs in [[her]402-she workshop]2322-her workshop . ‘ Sit , now ! Why are [you]406-you trying to sound cool ? [You]406-you ’re[402-she] failing miserably , by the way . [Your]406-you cheeks are the colour of that icing . ’ [She]402-she points to a fire engine cake on the metal shelf stand . ‘[406-you] Why was [the owner]2354-the owner , [Jesse Ward]327-jesse , not what [you]406-you expected ? ’ Because [he]327-jesse was steaming hot ! [I]327-jesse flop into the chair with [my]327-jesse bag on [my]327-jesse lap , while [Kate]2557-kate stands tapping [her]2557-kate palm with the handle of [her]2557-kate spatula . [She]2557-kate finally walks over , sitting in the chair opposite [me]327-jesse . ‘[327-jesse] Tell [me]2342-matt . ’ [she]2557-kate presses , knowing there ’s something to tell . [I]2342-matt shrug . ‘[2342-matt] [The man]2342-matt ’s attractive and [he]2342-matt knows it . ’ [I]2342-matt see [her]2557-kate eyes light up as the spatulas taps become faster on [her]2557-kate hand . [She]2557-kate wants more drama . [She]2557-kate loves it . When [Matt]2342-matt and [I]2342-matt split up , [she]2557-kate was the first on the scene to soak up the spectacle as [a supporting friend]2408-a supporting friend . [She]2557-kate need n’t have bothered . It was mutual , very amicable and really rather boring . No plates were flying and [no neighbours]2409-no neighbours called [the police]2410-the police . ‘[2342-matt] How old ? ’ [she]2557-kate asks keenly . Now , that one ’s got [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] still mortified that [I]2342-matt blurted such an inappropriate question during a business meeting . [My]2342-matt embarrassment was n’t even worthwhile as [he]2342-matt was obviously playing with [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt shrug . ‘ [He]2342-matt said twenty one , but [he]2342-matt ’s at least ten years past that . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]2342-matt asked [him]2342-matt ? ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate ’s jaw hits [her]2557-kate lap . ‘ Yes , in a moment of pure brain to mouth filter malfunction , the question did slip . [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] not proud . ’ [I]2342-matt mutter . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt made such a fool of [myself]2342-matt , [Kate]2557-kate . [A man]340-a man ’s never done that to [me]2342-matt before . But [this one]410-this one , well , [you]411-you would have been ashamed of [me]2342-matt . ’ A sharp shot of laughter flies from [her]2557-kate mouth . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt need to teach [you]411-you some social skills ! ’ [She]2557-kate falls back in [her]2557-kate chair , starting to lick the icing from [her]2557-kate spatula . ‘[832-ava] Please do , ’ [I]327-jesse grumble , putting [my]327-jesse hand out to [her]2557-kate . [She]2557-kate passes [me]327-jesse the spatula , and [I]327-jesse start licking at the edges . [I]327-jesse ’ve lived with [Kate]2557-kate for a month and existed on wine , icing sugar and cake mixture . A loss of appetite after a break up , [I]327-jesse do n’t have . ‘[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse was very self - assured . ’ [I]327-jesse say between licks . ‘[327-jesse] As in ? ’ ‘[327-jesse] Oh , [this man]327-jesse knew [he]327-jesse was sparking a reaction in [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt must have been painful to watch . [I]2342-matt was pathetic . ’ ‘[2342-matt] That good ? ’ [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head in dismay . ‘[2342-matt] Ridiculously , ’ ‘[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse ’s probably shit in bed , ’ [Kate]2557-kate muses . ‘[327-jesse] [All the hot ones]413-all the hot ones are . What ’s [your]414-your brief ? ’ ‘[414-your] [Ten new bedrooms in the extension]415-ten new bedrooms in the extension . [I]2342-matt thought [I]2342-matt was going to [a country mansion]2356-the manor , but it ’s [a mega plush hotel]417-a mega plush hotel come [spa]418-spa . [The Manor]2356-the manor , have [you]414-your heard of it ? ’ [Kate]2557-kate ’s face screws up into a clueless expression . ‘[414-your] Nope , ’ [she]2557-kate replies , getting up to turn the oven off . ‘[414-your] Can [I]2342-matt come next time ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] No , [I]2342-matt ’m not going back . [I]2342-matt ca n’t work with that . Besides , [he]2342-matt has [a girlfriend]2411-a girlfriend . And [I]2342-matt could never look [him]2342-matt in the eye again , not after [my]2342-matt performance . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt push [myself]2342-matt up from the chair , throwing the spatula into the empty mixing bowl . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ve passed it over to [Patrick]327-jesse . Wine ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ In the fridge , ’[419-our] [We]419-our make [our]419-our way up to [the flat]420-the flat and change into [our]419-our PJ ’s . [I]2342-matt dump [my]2342-matt bag on [my]2342-matt bed and it flops open , [the calla lily Ward]421-the calla lily ward gave [me]2342-matt making an appearance . Understated elegance . [I]2342-matt pick it up and twirl it in [my]2342-matt fingers for a few moments , then dump it in [my]2342-matt wastepaper basket . Forgotten ... Once changed into [my]2342-matt slob out clothes , [I]2342-matt load the DVD player with the latest offering from [the local rental shop]422-the local rental shop , jump on the couch with [Kate]2557-kate and try to concentrate on the movie . It ’s impossible . [My]2342-matt mind ’s eye is trampled with a tall , lean , dark blonde , green eyed male of a certain age , with a dribble worthy gait and bag loads of sex appeal . [I]2342-matt doze off with the words “ But [I]2342-matt want [you]423-you ” pin - balling around [my]2342-matt head . Not so forgotten … Chapter 3 After two progress meetings with [clients]424-clients and stopping by at [[Mr Muller]77-mr muller ’s new townhouse in [Holland Park]24-holland park]425-mr muller ’s new townhouse in holland park to drop off some samples , [I]2342-matt ’m back in [the office]279-the office listening to [Patrick]327-jesse moan about [Irene]363-irene . It ’s a normal Monday morning affair after [he]327-jesse ’s endured a whole weekend away from [the office]279-the office with [[his]327-jesse wife]363-irene . [I]78-darling really have no idea how [the poor man]327-jesse pokes up with [her]363-irene . [Tom]60-tom breezes in with the widest grin on [his]60-tom face , and [I]78-darling know immediately [he]60-tom must have pulled over the weekend . ‘[78-darling] [Darling]78-darling , [I]2342-matt ’ve missed [you]78-darling ! ’ [He]60-tom air kisses [me]60-tom and turns to [Patrick]327-jesse , who holds [his]327-jesse hands up in a don’t - even - think - about - it gesture . [Tom]60-tom rolls [his]60-tom eyes , completely un - offended , and waltzes to [his]60-tom desk . ‘[60-tom] Morning , [Tom]60-tom . ’ [I]60-tom greet brightly . ‘[60-tom] [I]2342-matt ’ve had the most stressful morning . [Mr]426-mr and [Mrs Baines]64-mrs baines have changed [their]427-their bloody minds for the thousandth time . [I]2342-matt ’ve had to cancel all the orders and re - arrange [a dozen workmen]428-a dozen workmen , ’ [He]60-tom waves [his]60-tom arms in the air in frustration . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt got a sodding parking ticket for not displaying a permit in [a resident]429-a resident ’s zone and , to top it off , [I]2342-matt snagged [my]2342-matt new jumper on them hideous railings outside [Starbucks]12-starbucks . ’ [He]60-tom starts picking the stray wool from the hem of [his]60-tom hot pink , [V]79-v neck jumper . ‘[68-god] [God]68-god damn it , look ! It ’s a good job [I]2342-matt got laid last night or [I]2342-matt ’d be in the depths of despair . ’ [He]60-tom grins at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt knew it . [Patrick]327-jesse walks away , shaking [his]327-jesse head . [His]327-jesse attempts to tone [Tom]60-tom ’s gayness down to more tolerable levels have proven ineffective . [He]430-lovely ’s now given up . ‘[2342-matt] Good night ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . ‘[2342-matt] Wonderful , [I]2342-matt met [the most divine man]430-lovely . [He]430-lovely ’s taking [me]2342-matt to [the Natural History Museum]431-the natural history museum at the weekend . [He]430-lovely ’s [a scientist]432-a scientist . [We]433-we ’re [soul mates]2413-soul mates , for sure . ’[433-we] ‘ What happened to [the personal trainer]2414-the personal trainer ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . That was last week ’s soul mate . ‘ Do n’t , it was a disaster . [He]430-lovely turned up at [[my]2342-matt apartment]2415-my apartment on Friday night with the Dirty Dancing DVD and an Indian takeout for two . Can [you]430-lovely believe that ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]430-lovely ’m[430-lovely] shocked . ’ [I]2342-matt tease . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt bloody was . Needless to say , [I]2342-matt wo n’t be seeing [him]430-lovely again . What ’s happening with [you]430-lovely , [darling]430-lovely ? How ’s [that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of [yours]430-lovely]434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours ? ’ [He]434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours winks . [Tom]60-tom does n’t hide [his]60-tom attraction to [Matt]2342-matt , which makes [me]434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours laugh but makes [Matt]2342-matt extremely uncomfortable . ‘[434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours] [He]434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours ’s okay . [He]434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours ’s still [the ex]435-the ex and still straight . ’ ‘[434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours] Damn shame . Let [me]2342-matt know when [he]434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours comes to [his]434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours senses . ’ [Tom]60-tom saunters off , tweaking [his]434-that gorgeous ex - boyfriend of yours perfectly positioned blonde quiff . ‘[54-victoria] [Sally]54-victoria , [I]2342-matt ’m emailing [you]54-victoria a design consultation fee for [Mr Ward]327-jesse . Can [you]54-victoria make sure [you]54-victoria send it today ? ’[54-victoria] ‘ [I]2342-matt will , [Ava]832-ava . Seven day payment terms ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , thank [you]54-victoria . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt turn back to [my]2342-matt desk and resume colour matching , reaching over to grab [my]2342-matt phone when it starts dancing around [my]2342-matt desk . Glancing at [my]2342-matt screen , [I]2342-matt nearly fall off [my]2342-matt chair when [I]2342-matt see the name [Jesse]327-jesse flashing up . After a few seconds of staring , [my]2342-matt brain finally gets the shock message and [my]2342-matt heart commences sprint in [my]2342-matt chest . What the hell ? [I]2342-matt never stored [his]327-jesse number – [Patrick]327-jesse never got round to passing it to [me]2342-matt and after handing the project over to [him]327-jesse on Friday , [I]2342-matt no longer needed it . [I]2342-matt would n’t be going back , and [I]2342-matt meant it . And even so , [I]2342-matt would n’t have saved [his]327-jesse number under [his]327-jesse first name . [I]2342-matt hold [my]2342-matt phone in [my]2342-matt hand , scanning [the office]290-the office to see if the continuous ringing has drawn any attention from [[my]2342-matt colleagues]437-my colleagues . It has n’t . [I]2342-matt let it ring off . What does [he]327-jesse want ? [I]2342-matt make for [[Patrick]327-jesse ’s office]290-the office to ask if [he]327-jesse ’s notified [Mr Ward]327-jesse of the change in arrangements , but then it rings again , halting [me]2342-matt in [my]2342-matt tracks . [I]2342-matt take a steady breath and connect the call . If [Patrick]327-jesse has n’t advised [him]327-jesse yet , then [I]2342-matt will . And if it does n’t suit , it ’s bad luck . [I]2342-matt make a rubbish job of convincing [myself]2342-matt that [I]2342-matt ’ve passed the contract over because [Patrick]327-jesse ’s more suitable for [the project]438-the project . [I]2342-matt know damn well that ’s only half the reason . ‘ Hello . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say , stamping [my]2342-matt foot a little for sounding apprehensive in [my]2342-matt greeting . [I]2342-matt was aiming for sure and confident . ‘ [Ava]832-ava ? ’[2342-matt] [His]327-jesse husky voice has the same impact on [my]2342-matt weak senses as it did on Friday . But at least over the phone [he]327-jesse ca n’t see [me]2342-matt physically trembling . ‘ Who ’s speaking ? ’[327-jesse] There . That sounded better – professional , business - like and steady . [He]327-jesse laughs lightly , and it throws [me]2342-matt completely off guard . ‘ Now , [I]327-jesse know [you]832-ava already know the answer to that question because [my]327-jesse name came up on [your]832-ava phone , ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt cringe on the spot . ‘ Trying to play it cool ? ’[2342-matt] Oh , the arrogant arse ! How does [he]327-jesse know that ? But then realisation dawns on [me]2342-matt . ‘ [You]832-ava added [yourself]832-ava to [my]2342-matt contacts list ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt gasp . When did [he]327-jesse do that ? [I]2342-matt mentally sprint through [our]439-our meeting , settling on [my]2342-matt visit to [the toilet]440-the toilet when [I]2342-matt left [my]2342-matt portfolio and phone on the table . [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]327-jesse went through [my]2342-matt phone ! ‘ [I]327-jesse need to be able to get hold of [you]441-you . ’[327-jesse] Oh , no . [Patrick]327-jesse , obviously , has n’t told [him]327-jesse . Nevertheless , [you]441-you do n’t go around snooping through strangers phones . [He]327-jesse really is very self - assured . And storing it under [Jesse]327-jesse ? That ’s a bit familiar . ‘ [Patrick]327-jesse should have contacted [you]441-you , ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt coolly inform [him]327-jesse . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] afraid [I]2342-matt ’m unable to assist [you]441-you , but [Patrick]327-jesse will be more than happy to help . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Patrick]327-jesse has been in contact , ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse replies . [I]2342-matt sag in relief but then frown . Why is [he]327-jesse calling [me]2342-matt then ? ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] sure [he]327-jesse will be happy to help , but [I]2342-matt ’m less than happy to accept it . ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt mouth gapes . Who does [he]327-jesse think [he]327-jesse is ? [He]327-jesse ’s called to tell [me]2342-matt [he]327-jesse ’s not happy ? Oh , [this man]327-jesse is way past arrogant . [I]2342-matt close [my]2342-matt gaping mouth . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sorry to hear that . ’ [I]327-jesse sound less than sorry ; [I]327-jesse sound irritated . ‘[327-jesse] Are [you]327-jesse ? ’ And [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] thrown again . No , [I]2342-matt ’m not sorry . But [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not about to tell [him]327-jesse that . ‘ Yes , [I]2342-matt am . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt lie . [I]2342-matt want to add that [I]2342-matt could never work with an arrogant , good looking swine like [him]327-jesse , but [I]2342-matt refrain . That would n’t be very professional . [I]2342-matt hear [him]327-jesse sigh . ‘ [I]327-jesse do n’t think [you]442-you are , [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [My]2342-matt name sounds like velvet rolling from [his]327-jesse lips , causing a familiar shudder to course through [me]2342-matt . How does [he]327-jesse know [I]2342-matt ’m not sorry ? ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt think [you]442-you ’re avoiding [me]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse adds . [I]2342-matt ’m going to dislocate [my]2342-matt jaw at this rate . [He]327-jesse ’s right . [He]327-jesse sparks some very unwelcome feelings in [me]2342-matt , and the fact [I]2342-matt know [he]327-jesse ’s involved with [someone else]2416-someone else has not helped [one iota]2417-one iota . ‘[2342-matt] Why would [I]2342-matt do that ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask cockily . That should shut [him]327-jesse up . ‘[2342-matt] Well , because [you]442-you ’re attracted to [me]442-you . ’[442-you] ‘ Excuse [me]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt splutter . [His]327-jesse self - assuredness knows no bounds . Has [he]327-jesse no shame ? The fact that [he]327-jesse ’s bang on the money is way beside the point . [You]443-you would have to be blind , deaf and numb not to be attracted to [this man]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse ’s the epitome of male perfection and , quite clearly , [he]327-jesse knows it . [He]327-jesse sighs . ‘ [I]327-jesse said … ’[327-jesse] ‘ Yes , [I]2342-matt heard [you]442-you , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt interrupt [him]327-jesse . ‘ [I]2342-matt just ca n’t believe [you]442-you said it . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt slump in [my]2342-matt chair . [I]2342-matt ’ve never known anything quite like it . [I]2342-matt ’m completely stunned . [The man]2342-matt has a significant other , and [he]2342-matt ’s flirting on the end of the phone with [me]2342-matt ? What [a player]2418-a player ! [I]2342-matt need to turn this conversation back around to business and get off of the phone quickly . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt apologise for not being available to assist with [your]445-your work . ’ [I]327-jesse blurt and hang up , staring down at [my]327-jesse phone . That was really quite rude and extremely unprofessional , but [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] completely staggered by [his]327-jesse forwardness . Passing the contract over to [Patrick]327-jesse is looking more and more sensible by the minute . A text arrives . [I]2342-matt notice [you]446-you did n’t deny it . [You]446-you should know the feeling ’s mutual . Jx Shitting fucking hell ! [I]2342-matt slap [my]2342-matt hand over [my]2342-matt lips to stop [my]2342-matt mental explicit language from falling out of [my]2342-matt mouth . No , [I]2342-matt did n’t deny it . And [he]327-jesse ’s attracted to [me]2342-matt ? [I]2342-matt ’m a bit young for [him]327-jesse , or is [he]327-jesse too old for [me]80-holy moses ? A kiss ? What a cocky arse ! [I]80-holy moses do n’t reply – [I]80-holy moses have no idea what to say to that . Instead , [I]80-holy moses throw [my]80-holy moses phone in [my]80-holy moses bag and go to meet [Kate]2557-kate for lunch . ‘[80-holy moses] [Holy Moses]80-holy moses ! ’ [Kate]2557-kate exclaims , staring down at [my]80-holy moses phone . [Her]2557-kate red hair is swinging from side to side in its ponytail as [she]2557-kate shakes [her]2557-kate head . ‘[80-holy moses] Did [you]80-holy moses reply ? ’ [She]2557-kate looks up at [me]80-holy moses expectantly . ‘[80-holy moses] Christ , no . ’ [I]80-holy moses laugh . What would [she]2557-kate recommend [I]80-holy moses say to that ? It ’s got [me]80-holy moses completely stumped . ‘[80-holy moses] And [he]447-my ’s got [a girlfriend]2411-a girlfriend ? ’ ‘[447-my] Yes . ’ [I]447-my nod , raising [my]447-my eyebrows . [She]2557-kate places [my]447-my phone back on the table . ‘[447-my] That ’s a shame . ’ Is it ? It actually makes things a lot easier . It totally trumps the looks and reactions [he]447-my spikes in [me]447-my . [Kate]2557-kate ’s far more daring than [me]447-my . [She]2557-kate would have replied with something shocking and suggestive , and probably made [his]447-my jaw drop . [That girl]2557-kate would give [any bona - fide man - eater]2419-any bona - fide man - eater a run for [their]2419-any bona - fide man - eater money . Not slow in coming forward , [she]2557-kate mostly scared [men]2420-men off on the first date – only the strongest survive . [Kate]2557-kate ’s long , red hair is as vibrant as [her]2557-kate personality . [She]2557-kate ’s confident , strong minded and determined . ‘[447-my] Not really , ’ [I]447-my muse , picking up [my]447-my cheeky lunchtime wine and taking a sip . ‘[447-my] Anyway , it ’s only been four weeks since [Matt]2342-matt and [I]2342-matt split up . [I]2342-matt do n’t want [any men in [my]2342-matt life]449-any men in my life , not in any capacity . ’ [I]2342-matt like the fact that [I]2342-matt sound resolute . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m enjoying being single and carefree for the first time ever . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt add . And it really does feel like the first time ever . [I]2342-matt was with [Matt]2342-matt for four years and previous to that , [I]2342-matt was in a three year relationship with [Adam]81-adam . ‘ Have [you]81-adam seen [the prick]2421-the prick ? ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate face distorts into one of disgust at the mention of [[my]2342-matt ex]450-my ex ’s name . [She]2557-kate ca n’t stand [Matt]2342-matt and was delighted when [I]2342-matt split up with [him]2342-matt . [Kate]2557-kate catching [him]2342-matt at it with [a work colleague]451-a work colleague in [a taxi]452-a taxi only confirmed what [I]2342-matt already knew . [I]2342-matt do n’t know why [I]2342-matt ignored it for so long . When [I]2342-matt confronted [him]2342-matt calmly , [he]2342-matt fell apart with apologies and nearly fell over when [I]2342-matt told [him]2342-matt [I]2342-matt was n’t bothered . [I]2342-matt really was n’t , much to [my]2342-matt own surprise . The relationship had run its course , and [Matt]2342-matt was of the same opinion . It ’s all been very amicable , much to [Kate]2557-kate ’s disgust . [She]2557-kate wants flying plates and police intervention . ‘ No . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt confirm . ‘ [We]454-we are having fun , are n’t [we]454-we ? ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate grins as [the waitress]453-the waitress approaches with [our]454-we lunch . ‘ [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] just going to the loo . ’ [I]2557-kate get up , leaving [Kate]2557-kate dowsing [her]2557-kate chips in mayonnaise . After using the toilet , [I]2557-kate stand in the mirror re - applying [my]2557-kate lip gloss and fluffing [my]2557-kate hair . It ’s behaving today , so it ’s down and tumbling all over [my]2557-kate shoulders . [I]2557-kate brush down [my]2557-kate black capri pants and pick a few hairs off [my]2557-kate cream blouse . [My]2557-kate phone rings as [I]2557-kate make [my]2557-kate way back to [the bar]361-the bar . [I]2557-kate drag it from [my]2557-kate bag , rolling [my]2557-kate eyes when [I]2557-kate see it ’s [him]327-jesse again . [He]327-jesse ’s probably wondering where [my]2557-kate reply to [his]327-jesse inappropriate text message is . [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] not playing games with [him]327-jesse . ‘ Reject . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt huff at [my]2342-matt phone , stabbing at the red button and stuffing it in [my]2342-matt bag as [I]2342-matt continue down [the corridor]2361-the corridor . ‘ Oh God , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] Sorry ! ’ [I]2342-matt splutter , slamming straight into a chest . This chest is a very firm chest , and the intoxicating fresh water scent that ’s washing over [me]2342-matt is way too familiar . [My]2342-matt legs refuse to move , and [I]2342-matt know what [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to see if [I]2342-matt look up . [His]327-jesse arm is already wrapped around [my]2342-matt waist to steady [me]2342-matt , [my]2342-matt eyes level with the top of [his]327-jesse chest . [I]2342-matt can see [his]327-jesse heart beating through [his]327-jesse shirt . ‘ [Reject]82-reject ? ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse says softly . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] wounded . ’ [I]327-jesse push [myself]327-jesse away from [his]327-jesse grasp , attempting to regain [my]327-jesse composure . [He]327-jesse looks stunning , wearing a charcoal suit and crisp white shirt . [I]327-jesse laugh at [myself]327-jesse and [my]327-jesse inability to get [my]327-jesse eyes past [his]327-jesse upper body for fear of being hypnotised by the potency of [this man]327-jesse ’s sludgy gaze . ‘[327-jesse] Is something funny ? ’ [he]327-jesse asks . [I]2342-matt suspect [he]327-jesse ’s frowning at [my]2342-matt random outburst , but because [I]2342-matt refuse to look at [him]327-jesse , [I]2342-matt ca n’t confirm that . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sorry . [I]2342-matt was n’t looking where [I]2342-matt was going . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt side step [him]2342-matt , but [he]2342-matt grabs [my]2342-matt elbow , halting [my]2342-matt escape . ‘ Just tell [me]2342-matt one thing before [you]2342-matt leave , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt voice prickles at [my]2342-matt senses , and [I]2342-matt find [my]2342-matt eyes travelling up the leanness of [his]2342-matt body until [our]457-our stares meet . [His]2342-matt face is serious , but still stunning . ‘ How loud do [you]2342-matt think [you]2342-matt ’ll scream when [I]2342-matt fuck [you]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] WHAT ? ‘ Excuse [me]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt manage to splutter around the lead that is [my]2342-matt tongue . [He]2342-matt half smiles at [my]2342-matt shock , placing [his]2342-matt index finger under [my]2342-matt chin and pushing [my]2342-matt gaping mouth shut . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll leave that one with [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt releases [my]2342-matt elbow . [I]2342-matt flash [him]2342-matt a displeased scowl before [I]2342-matt walk back to the table as steadily as [my]2342-matt boneless legs will allow . Did [I]2342-matt really just hear [him]2342-matt right ? [I]2342-matt slide [myself]2342-matt onto the chair , immediately glugging down [my]2342-matt wine to try and moisten [my]2342-matt parched mouth . When [I]2342-matt look up at [Kate]2557-kate , [she]2557-kate ’s openmouthed , exposing half chewed chips and bread . It ’s not attractive . ‘ Who the fuck is that ? ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate mumbles around [her]2557-kate food . ‘ Who ? ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt look around , simulating unawareness . ‘ [Him]2342-matt , ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate points with [her]2557-kate fork . ‘ Look ! ’[2557-kate] ‘ [I]2342-matt saw , and [I]2342-matt do n’t know . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt grate . Drop it ! ‘ [He]2342-matt ’s coming over . [You]2342-matt sure [you]2342-matt do n’t know [him]2342-matt ? Fuck , [he]2342-matt ’s hot ! ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate looks at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt shrug . Please , go away . Go away , go away ! [I]2342-matt pick up a stray piece of lettuce from [my]2342-matt BLT and start nibbling at the edges . [I]2342-matt ’m tense all over , and [I]458-ladies know [he]2342-matt ’s getting closer because [Kate]2557-kate ’s gaze is lifting upwards to accommodate [his]2342-matt height . [I]458-ladies wish [she]2557-kate would shut [her]2557-kate bloody gaping mouth ! ‘[458-ladies] [Ladies]458-ladies , ’ [His]2342-matt low , throaty voice prickles at [my]458-ladies skin , doing nothing to relax [me]458-ladies . ‘[458-ladies] Hi , ’ [Kate]2557-kate spits , chewing rapidly to rid [her]2557-kate mouth of the obstruction to speech . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [he]2342-matt prompts . [I]832-ava wave [my]832-ava piece of lettuce at [him]2342-matt to acknowledge [his]2342-matt presence but without having to look at [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt laughs lightly . Out the corner of [my]832-ava eye , [I]832-ava see [his]2342-matt body slowly lowering until [he]2342-matt ’s squatting at the table next to [me]832-ava , but [I]832-ava still refuse to look at [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt rests one arm on the table , and [I]832-ava hear [Kate]2557-kate cough and splutter on the remnants of [her]2557-kate food . ‘[832-ava] That ’s better , ’ [he]2342-matt says . [I]2342-matt can feel [his]2342-matt breath on [my]2342-matt cheek . Reluctantly , [I]2342-matt look up through [my]2342-matt lashes and find [Kate]2557-kate gawking at [me]2342-matt – all wide eyed and yes - he’s - still - there - talk - [you]2342-matt - idiot ! [I]2342-matt can think of nothing to say . Once again , [this man]2342-matt has rendered [me]2342-matt useless . [I]2342-matt hear [him]2342-matt sigh . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m [Jesse Ward]327-jesse , pleased to meet [you]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt see [his]2342-matt hand reach across the table . [Kate]2557-kate takes it eagerly . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate splutters . ‘ Oh ! [Jesse]327-jesse , ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt can feel [her]2557-kate glaring at [me]2342-matt accusingly . ‘ [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate . [Ava]832-ava mentioned [you]2557-kate have [a posh hotel]459-a posh hotel . ’ [I]832-ava scowl across the table . ‘[832-ava] Oh , [she]2557-kate mentioned [me]2342-matt ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks softly . [I]2557-kate do n’t have to look at [him]2342-matt to know [he]2342-matt ’s displaying a smug , satisfied face at this news . ‘[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt wonder what else [she]2557-kate ’s mentioned . ’ ‘[2557-kate] Oh , this and that , ’ [Kate]2557-kate flips casually , but it ’s too late to back track on [her]2557-kate previous statement . [I]2557-kate throw [her]2557-kate [my]2557-kate filthiest look . ‘[2557-kate] This and that . ’ [he]2342-matt counters softly . ‘[2557-kate] Yes , this and that . ’ [Kate]2557-kate affirms . [Fed]83-fed up of the pointless little exchange that [they]83-fed both seem to be enjoying , [I]2557-kate take the situation into [my]2557-kate own hands , turning [my]2557-kate eyes onto [him]2342-matt . ‘[2557-kate] It was nice to see [you]2342-matt , goodbye . ’ [Our]2423-our eyes latch immediately , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] ruined by [his]2342-matt sludgy green eyes , all hooded , dark and demanding . [I]2342-matt can feel [his]2342-matt breath waver and it draws [my]2342-matt eyes away from [his]2342-matt , but only to [his]2342-matt mouth . [His]2342-matt lips are moist , slightly parted , and [his]2342-matt tongue slowly creeps out of [his]2342-matt mouth , running a leisurely path across [his]2342-matt bottom lip . [I]2342-matt ca n’t take [my]2342-matt eyes off [him]2342-matt . Without any encouragement at all , [my]2342-matt own tongue responds with a happy little adventure across [my]2342-matt bottom lip . It betrays [my]2342-matt effort to appear emotionless … unaffected . [I]2342-matt ’m so affected . This is crazy . This … whatever this is … it ’s just crazy . [He]2342-matt ’s over confident and arrogant , but probably has the right to be . [I]2342-matt desperately do not want to be affected by [this man]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Nice ? ’ [He]2342-matt leans forward , grasping [my]2342-matt thigh , causing hot liquid lava to flood [my]2342-matt groin . [I]2342-matt shift [my]2342-matt legs , squeezing [my]2342-matt thighs together to restrict the pulsation that threatens to break out into a full , hard throb . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt could think of lots of words , [Ava]832-ava . Nice is not [one of [them]461-them]460-one of them . [I]2342-matt ’ll leave [you]462-good lord to consider [my]2342-matt question . ’ Oh , [good Lord]462-good lord ! [I]2342-matt gulp as [he]2342-matt leans into [me]2342-matt at half height , pressing [his]2342-matt damp lips against [my]2342-matt cheek , holding [his]2342-matt kiss forever . [I]2342-matt clench [my]2342-matt teeth in an effort not to turn into [him]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Soon . ’ [he]2342-matt whispers . It ’s a promise . [He]2342-matt releases [my]2342-matt tense thigh and rises . ‘[2342-matt] It was nice to meet [you]462-good lord , [Kate]2557-kate . ’ ‘[2557-kate] Hmmm , [you]462-good lord too . ’ [she]2557-kate responds thoughtfully . [He]2342-matt strides off towards the back of [the bar]361-the bar . Good God , [he]2342-matt walks with purpose and it ’s sexy as hell . [I]2342-matt close [my]2342-matt eyes to mentally gather [my]2342-matt wits , which are currently dispersed all over the bar floor . It ’s completely hopeless . [I]2342-matt turn back to [Kate]2557-kate , finding accusing bright blues gawking at [me]2342-matt like [I]2342-matt ’ve just sprouted fangs . [Her]2557-kate eyebrows hit [her]2557-kate hairline . ‘[2342-matt] Fuck [me]2342-matt , that was intense ! ’ [she]2557-kate spits across the table . ‘[2342-matt] Was it ? ’ [I]462-good lord start pushing [my]462-good lord sandwich around [my]462-good lord plate . ‘[462-good lord] [You]462-good lord better stop with the blah - fucking - zay shit now , or [I]2342-matt ’ll shove this fork so far up [your]462-good lord arse , [you]462-good lord ’ll be chewing metal . What question are [you]462-good lord considering ? ’ [Her]2557-kate tone is fierce . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know , ’ [I]463-i brush [her]2557-kate off . ‘[463-i] [He]463-i ’s attractive , arrogant and has [a girlfriend]2411-a girlfriend . ’ [I]463-i try for vague . [Kate]2557-kate lets out a long , over amplified whistle . ‘[463-i] [I]2342-matt ’ve never experienced that before . [I]2342-matt ’ve heard of it but never witnessed it . ’ ‘[2342-matt] What are [you]462-good lord on about ? ’ [I]832-ava snap . [She]2557-kate leans across the table , all serious . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , the sexual tension batting between [you]462-good lord and [that man]465-that man was so fucking super charged , even [I]2342-matt was horny ! ’ [She]2557-kate laughs . ‘[465-that man] [He]465-that man wants [you]462-good lord bad . [He]465-that man could n’t have made it any clearer if [he]465-that man ’d have spread [you]462-good lord on that pool table . ’ [She]462-good lord points , and [I]462-good lord actually look . ‘[462-good lord] [You]462-good lord ’re imagining things . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt snort . [I]2342-matt know [she]462-good lord ’s not , but what can [I]2342-matt say ? ‘ [I]462-good lord ’ve seen the text , and now [I]462-good lord ’ve seen [the man in the flesh]2425-the man in the flesh . [He]2425-the man in the flesh ’s hot … for [an older guy]2426-my best friend . ’[462-good lord] [She]462-good lord shrugs . ‘ [I]462-good lord ’m[462-good lord] not interested . ’ ‘[462-good lord] Ha ! [You]462-good lord keep telling [yourself]462-good lord that . ’ [I]2342-matt scowl across the table at [[my]2342-matt best friend]2426-my best friend . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt will . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Let [me]2342-matt know how that works out for [you]462-good lord . ’ [she]462-good lord shoots back , rather flippantly . * * * [I]340-a man return to [the office]279-the office and spend the rest of the day achieving absolutely nothing . [I]340-a man twiddle [my]340-a man pen , visit [the toilet]440-the toilet a dozen times and pretend to listen to [Tom]60-tom harp on about Gay Pride and all things camp . [My]340-a man phone has rung four times – all [Jesse Ward]327-jesse – and [I]340-a man ’ve rejected each and every call . [I]340-a man ’m[340-a man] staggered by [this man]340-a man ’s persistence and confidence . How loud ? [I]2342-matt ’m stunned ! [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] happy and enjoying [my]2342-matt new found freedom , and [I]2342-matt have no intention of derailing [my]2342-matt plans to be single and carefree . [I]2342-matt ’m not getting caught up with [a handsome stranger]2429-a handsome stranger , no matter how handsome [he]2429-a handsome stranger is . And oh , is [he]2429-a handsome stranger mind meltingly delicious . Anyway , [he]2429-a handsome stranger ’s way too old for [me]2557-kate . And more importantly , [he]2429-a handsome stranger ’s obviously taken . And that only reinforces the fact that [he]2429-a handsome stranger ’s [an ultimate player]2429-a handsome stranger . This is not the sort of man [I]2557-kate need to be attracted to , damn [me]2557-kate , especially after [Matt]2342-matt and [his]2342-matt infidelities . [I]2557-kate need [a man]340-a man , eventually , who ’ll be faithful , protective and look after [me]2557-kate – preferably a bit nearer [my]2557-kate age too . How old is [he]2429-a handsome stranger ? [My]2557-kate phone declares a text , making [me]2557-kate jump and snapping [me]2557-kate from [my]2557-kate wandering thoughts . [I]2557-kate already know who it is before [I]2557-kate look . Being rejected is n’t very nice . Why wo n’t [you]2430-you answer [my]2557-kate calls ? Jx [I]2557-kate laugh to [myself]2557-kate , drawing the attention of [Victoria]54-victoria , who ’s rummaging through the filing cabinet near [my]2557-kate desk . [Her]2557-kate perfectly plucked eyebrow arches . [I]2557-kate do n’t suppose [he]467-him is use to rejection . ‘[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate . ’ [I]2557-kate offer , by way of an explanation . It seems to work , as [she]2557-kate returns to sifting through the cabinet . It should be obvious why [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] not answering [my]2342-matt bloody phone . [I]2342-matt do n’t want to talk to [him]467-him . [He]467-him unnerves [me]2342-matt , triggering too many reactions . And , quite frankly , [I]2342-matt do n’t trust [my]2342-matt body around [him]467-him . It seems to respond to [his]467-him presence with no prompt from [me]2342-matt or [my]2342-matt brain , and that could be very dangerous indeed . [My]2342-matt phone rings again and [I]2342-matt quickly reject it . Christ , give [me]2342-matt a chance to reply ! Am [I]2342-matt even going to reply ? [I]2342-matt ’m never going to get rid of [him]467-him . [I]2342-matt need to be brutal . If [you]2431-you need to discuss [your]2431-you requirements , [you]2431-you should be calling [Patrick]327-jesse , not [me]2342-matt . There . No sign off and definitely no kiss . [I]2342-matt ’ve not said in so many words , but [he]327-jesse should get the message . [I]2342-matt put [my]2342-matt phone down , all set on getting something done , but it chimes again . [I]2342-matt pick it straight back up , grabbing [my]2342-matt coffee with [my]2342-matt spare hand as [I]2342-matt do . [My]2342-matt requirement is to make [you]468-you scream . [I]2342-matt do n’t think [Patrick]327-jesse can help [me]2342-matt there . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] gagging just thinking about it . That ’s a thought ... will [I]2342-matt need to gag [you]468-you ? [Jx]84-jx [I]2342-matt spray coffee all over [my]2342-matt desk as [I]2342-matt cough . The cheeky sod ! How brazen and unashamed can [a man]340-a man be ? Does [he]340-a man think [I]2342-matt ’m easy or something ? [I]340-a man switch [my]340-a man phone to silent , chucking it down on [my]340-a man desk in disgust . [I]340-a man ’m[340-a man] not even dignifying that with a response . Replying will only encourage [him]340-a man . There ’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance , and [Jesse Ward triple]327-jesse jumps that . [I]2342-matt feel sorry for old pouty lips . Is [she]470-she aware of [[her]470-she man]340-a man pursuing [young women]471-young women ? [I]2342-matt watch as [my]2342-matt screen lights up again . [I]2342-matt snatch it up , silencing it before it draws attention . [I]2342-matt open [my]2342-matt top drawer , drop it in and slam it shut on a huff . [He]340-a man ’ll get the message . [I]2342-matt make a meager attempt to carry on with some work , but [I]2342-matt ’m far too distracted . Strange words – all having no place in work related correspondence – are appearing in [my]2342-matt emails as [I]2342-matt absentmindedly tap away at [my]2342-matt keyboard . The office phone rings . Glancing up , [I]2342-matt see [Sally]54-victoria away from [her]54-victoria desk , so [I]2342-matt answer . ‘[2342-matt] Good afternoon , [Rococo Union]8-rococo union . ’ ‘[8-rococo union] Do n’t hang up ! ’ [he]340-a man blurts down the phone . [I]832-ava sit up straight in [my]832-ava chair . Even [his]340-a man urgent voice prickles [my]832-ava skin . Get the message , [he]340-a man will not . [He]340-a man ’s really quite thick skinned . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt ’m really very sorry . ’[832-ava] ‘ [You]832-ava are ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ca n’t hide the surprise in [my]2342-matt voice . [Jesse Ward]327-jesse does n’t look like the kind of man to offer apologies [willy - nilly]85-willy - nilly . ‘ Yes , really , [I]327-jesse am . [I]327-jesse ’ve made [you]832-ava feel uncomfortable . [I]327-jesse ’ve overstepped the mark by a long shot . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse sounds sincere enough . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’ve distressed [you]832-ava . Please accept [my]327-jesse apology . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt would n’t say [I]2342-matt was distressed by [his]327-jesse bold behavior and comments . Shocked would be more apt . [Some people]472-some people might even admire [his]327-jesse confidence , [I]2342-matt suppose . ‘ Oh , okay , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say hesitantly . ‘ So , [you]832-ava do n’t want to make [me]2342-matt scream or gag [me]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [you]832-ava sound disappointed . ’[327-jesse] ‘ Not at all , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blurt . There ’s a brief silence before [he]327-jesse speaks again . ‘ Can [we]2432-we start again ? [I]327-jesse ’ll keep it professional , of course . ’[327-jesse] Oh no . [He]327-jesse might be sorry , but that does n’t extinguish the affect [he]327-jesse has on [me]2342-matt . And it does n’t escape [my]2342-matt thoughts that this is just a ploy to get [me]2342-matt back on side so [he]327-jesse can re - commence pursuing [me]2342-matt . ‘ [Mr Ward]327-jesse , [I]69-the right person for this job ’m[69-the right person for this job] really not [the right person for this job]69-the right person for this job , ’ [I]2342-matt swivel in [my]2342-matt chair to check if [Patrick]327-jesse ’s in [[his]327-jesse office]279-the office . [He]327-jesse is . ‘[2342-matt] Can [I]2342-matt transfer [you]474-you to [Patrick]327-jesse ? ’ [I]327-jesse push , mentally pleading for [him]327-jesse to take the hint . ‘[327-jesse] It ’s [Jesse]327-jesse . [You]474-you make [me]2342-matt feel old when [you]474-you call [me]2342-matt [Mr Ward]327-jesse . ’ [he]327-jesse grumbles . [I]327-jesse slam [my]327-jesse mouth shut when [my]327-jesse lips part and that question nearly falls out . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] still intrigued on that subject , but [I]2342-matt ’m not going to ask again . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , if it makes [you]474-you feel better , [you]474-you can deal with [John]832-ava . What would be the next stage ? ’ Oh ? Would it make [me]832-ava feel better ? [Big guy]315-big guy has intimidation in equal measure to Wards boldness . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] not sure [I]2342-matt would feel any more comfortable with [his]832-ava offer to replace [himself]832-ava with [John]832-ava . But the fact [he]832-ava ’s prepared to do this , tells [me]2342-matt [he]832-ava really does want [me]2342-matt to do the designs and that , [I]2342-matt suppose , is a compliment . [The Manor]2356-the manor will be a great addition to [my]2342-matt portfolio . ‘ [I]2342-matt would need to measure [the rooms]2379-the rooms and draw up some schemes . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt spit the words out impulsively . ‘ Perfect , ’[832-ava] [He]832-ava sounds relieved . ‘ [I]832-ava can get [John]832-ava to take [you]832-ava around [the rooms]2379-the rooms . [He]832-ava can hold [your]832-ava tape measure . Tomorrow ? ’[832-ava] Tomorrow ? [He]832-ava ’s keen . As it happens , [I]2342-matt ca n’t . [I]2342-matt ’ve got various appointments dotted across the day , and Wednesday ’s out too . ‘ [I]832-ava ca n’t do tomorrow or Wednesday , [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] sorry . ’ ‘[832-ava] Oh , ’ [he]832-ava says quietly . ‘[832-ava] Do [you]476-you do evenings ? ’ Oh , do [I]2342-matt ? Well , [I]2342-matt do n’t like doing evenings , but [many clients]2436-many clients work nine to five jobs and are unavailable during the working day . [I]2342-matt prefer evenings to weekends . [I]2342-matt never get dragged into weekend appointments . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt can do tomorrow evening . ’ [I]2342-matt blurt , turning the page in [my]2342-matt diary to tomorrow . [My]2342-matt last appointment is at five with [Mrs Kent]86-mrs kent . ‘[2342-matt] Seven - ish ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask , already pencilling [him]832-ava in . ‘[2342-matt] Perfect . [I]2342-matt would say that [I]2342-matt ’ll look forward to it , but [I]2342-matt ca n’t look forward to it because [I]2342-matt wo n’t be seeing [you]476-you . ’ [I]2342-matt ca n’t see [him]832-ava , but [I]2342-matt know [he]832-ava ’s probably grinning . [I]2342-matt can hear it in [his]832-ava tone . [He]832-ava just ca n’t help [himself]832-ava . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll let [John]832-ava know to expect [you]476-you at seven . ’ ‘[832-ava] -ish , ’ [I]832-ava add . [I]832-ava do n’t know how long it ’ll take [me]832-ava to get out of [the city]2326-the city at that time of day . ‘[832-ava] -ish , ’ [he]832-ava confirms . ‘[832-ava] Thank [you]476-you , [Ava]832-ava . ’ ‘[476-you] [You]476-you ’re welcome , [Mr Ward]327-jesse . Goodbye . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hang up and commence tapping [my]2342-matt fingernail on [my]2342-matt front tooth . ‘ [Ava]832-ava ? ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse calls from [[his]327-jesse office]279-the office . ‘ Yes ? ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt swing [my]2342-matt chair to face [him]327-jesse . ‘ [The Manor]2356-the manor , [they]2439-they want [you]86-mrs kent , flower . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse shrugs , returning to [his]327-jesse computer screen . No , [he]327-jesse wants [me]2342-matt . Chapter 4 [I]2342-matt fly through Tuesdays appointments , leaving [[Mrs Kent]86-mrs kent ’s lovely new town house]308-the place at just past six . [Mrs Kent]86-mrs kent is [the extremely high maintenance wife of [Mr Kent]87-mr kent]86-mrs kent – [MD of Kent Yacht Builders]88-md of kent yacht builders – and [this Kensington house]308-the place is [[their]308-the place third home]308-the place in four years . [I]2342-matt ’ve re - designed the interior on all of [them]308-the place . No sooner are the works completed , [Mrs Kent]86-mrs kent decides [she]86-mrs kent ca n’t envisage growing old there – [she]86-mrs kent ’s seventy , if a day – so [the house]308-the place is on [the market]479-the market , sold and [I]2342-matt ’m starting from scratch on [their]308-the place new abode . [I]2342-matt was slightly paranoid when [they]308-the place up sticks , selling [the first home that [I]2342-matt worked on only a month after works were completed]2440-the first home that i worked on only a month after works were completed , especially as it was [my]2342-matt first contract when [I]2342-matt started working for [Patrick]327-jesse . But [she]86-mrs kent was soon scheduling an appointment for [me]2342-matt to view [[their]308-the place new place]281-home , crooning down the phone , “ [Ava]832-ava dear , it ’s not [you]832-ava . It just did n’t feel like [home]281-home . ” So , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] now on [the third Kent residence]281-home , the specification being the same as [the last two houses , which is convenient because [I]2342-matt do n’t]481-the last two houses , which is convenient because i do n’t have to source any freestanding furniture . It also softens the blow on [Mr Kent]87-mr kent ’s wallet . [I]2342-matt jump in [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car , setting off for [The Surrey Hills]483-the surrey hills . [I]2342-matt did n’t divulge to [Kate]2557-kate the reason why [I]2342-matt ’m going to be [home]281-home late . Telling [her]2557-kate would only fuel [her]2557-kate curiosity as to why [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] returning to [The Manor]2356-the manor . [I]2342-matt would , of course , lie and feed [her]2557-kate the same crap that [I]2342-matt ’ve fed [myself]2342-matt – that the addition of [The Manor]2356-the manor ’s works would benefit [my]2342-matt portfolio . The magnet of lean loveliness has zero influence on [my]2342-matt decision – none at all . [I]2342-matt stop at the intercom this time , but as [I]2342-matt press to release [my]2342-matt window , the gates start opening . [I]2342-matt look up to the camera and figure [John]832-ava must be waiting . [I]2342-matt did say seven - ish and its five past now . [I]2342-matt drive through the gates , up [the gravel road]298-the lane until [I]2342-matt reach [the courtyard]307-the courtyard . [John]832-ava ’s waiting on the steps for [me]2342-matt , filling the double doorway , sunglasses firmly in place . ‘ Good evening , [John]832-ava . ’[832-ava] [I]2342-matt greet , grabbing [my]2342-matt folder and bag . Will [he]832-ava speak today ? No , [he]832-ava nods and turns , walking back into [The Manor]2356-the manor , leaving [me]2342-matt to follow [him]832-ava into [the bar]361-the bar . It ’s busier than when [I]2342-matt was last [here]314-here . It ’s probably the time of day . ‘ [Mario]89-mario ? ’[832-ava] [he]832-ava rumbles . [A little man]489-a little man pops up from behind [the bar]361-the bar . ‘ Yes ? ’[489-a little man] ‘ Get [Miss O’Shea]832-ava a drink , please . ’[832-ava] [John]832-ava turns [his]832-ava concealed eyes back to [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]832-ava ’ll be back . [Jesse]327-jesse wants a quick word . ’[832-ava] ‘ With [me]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blurt , blushing slightly at [my]2342-matt abruptness . ‘ No , with [me]2342-matt , ’[2342-matt] ‘ Is [he]832-ava staying in [[his]832-ava office]279-the office ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask nervously . [I]2342-matt ’m asking too many questions about something so trivial , but [he]832-ava assured [me]490-girl [he]832-ava would leave [me]490-girl and [John]832-ava to it . Even the thought of [the man]832-ava reduces [me]490-girl to a nervous wreck . [I]490-girl never thought [I]490-girl would think this , but [I]490-girl do actually feel more comfortable with [the big guy]832-ava . For a start , [I]490-girl trust [myself]490-girl with [him]832-ava . [John]832-ava ’s lips twitch , clearly trying to fight a smile . [I]490-girl inwardly groan . [He]832-ava knows . ‘[490-girl] S’all good , [girl]490-girl . ’ [He]832-ava turns , giving [Mario]89-mario a funny look , which [the little barman]2442-the little barman acknowledges with a flick of [his]832-ava cloth . What ’s that all about ? [John]832-ava nods sternly before striding out , leaving [me]490-girl with [Mario]89-mario at [the bar]361-the bar . [I]490-girl gaze around , noticing [a woman laughing with [a middle aged man at a table nearby]2445-a middle aged man at a table nearby]2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby . It ’s [the woman [I]490-girl saw in [the toilets]2363-the toilets when [I]490-girl was here last Friday]2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby . [She]2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby ’s wearing a black trouser suit and looks extremely professional . [She]2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby must be staying a while – business , maybe ? The man accompanying [her]2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby rises from the table , putting [his]832-ava hand out politely . [She]2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby accepts it with a smile as [she]2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby stands , letting [him]832-ava tuck [her]2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby under [his]832-ava arm and lead [her]2444-a woman laughing with a middle aged man at a table nearby out of [the bar]361-the bar as [they]2447-they chat and giggle . [I]490-girl perch on a bar stool to wait for [John]832-ava , taking [my]490-girl phone out to check for messages and missed calls . ‘[490-girl] [You]491-you would like wine ? ’ [I]2342-matt look up , finding [the little barman]2442-the little barman smiling at [me]2342-matt . [He]2442-the little barman speaks with an accent , and [I]2342-matt conclude that [he]2442-the little barman ’s Italian . [He]2442-the little barman ’s very short and rather sweet , with [his]2442-the little barman mustache and receding black hair . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt could do with one , but [I]2342-matt ’m driving . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Ah ! ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt exclaims . ‘ Just a small one , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt holds a small wine glass up , drawing a line across the middle with [his]2342-matt finger . Oh , sod it ! [I]2342-matt should n’t drink on the job , but [my]2342-matt nerves are shot to bits . [He]2342-matt ’s in [this building]492-this building somewhere and that ’s unsettling enough . [I]2342-matt nod on a smile . ‘ Thank [you]493-you . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt holds up a bottle of Zinfandel . [I]2342-matt nod again . ‘ [Your]493-you dress is very , urhh … how [you]493-you say ... striking ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt pours a little more than half a glass . In fact , it ’s full . [I]2342-matt look down at [my]2342-matt black , structured , figure hugging dress . Yes , [I]2342-matt suppose striking would be a word [you]493-you could use . It ’s [my]2342-matt if - all - else - fails dress . [I]2342-matt always feel nice in it . [I]2342-matt ignore the little voice in [my]2342-matt head asking [me]2342-matt if [I]2342-matt wore it in the hopes of seeing [Ward]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt snap a lid on that thought immediately and laugh at [Mario]89-mario ’s careful choice of words , taking the glass as [he]89-mario passes it over the bar on a smile . [I]2342-matt think [he]89-mario means tight . It shows every curve [I]2342-matt have . Considering [I]2342-matt ’m a size ten , there are not many , but if [I]2342-matt live with [Kate]2557-kate for much longer , that may change . ‘[2342-matt] Thank [you]493-you . ’ [I]832-ava smile . ‘[832-ava] Pleasure , [Miss O’Shea]832-ava . [I]2342-matt leave [you]493-you in peace . ’ [He]89-mario picks up [his]89-mario cloth and starts wiping the granite counter under the optics . [I]2342-matt sip [my]2342-matt wine as [I]2342-matt wait for [John]832-ava . It goes down too well and before [I]2342-matt know it , [I]2342-matt ’ve drank the lot . [I]2342-matt ca n’t wait to get [home]281-home so [I]2342-matt can dig into the bottle being kept chilled in the fridge . ‘[2342-matt] Hello . ’ [I]2342-matt swivel on [my]2342-matt stool , coming face to face with [the woman]363-irene that was draped all over [Ward]327-jesse on Friday . [She]363-irene smiles at [me]2342-matt , but it ’s the most insincere smile [I]2342-matt ’ve ever had the pleasure of receiving . ‘[2342-matt] Hi . ’ [I]54-victoria say politely . [I]54-victoria see [Mario]89-mario come rushing over with a panic stricken face , waving [his]89-mario cloth in the air . ‘[54-victoria] [Miss Sarah]54-victoria ! No , please . No talk . ’ What ? ‘[54-victoria] Oh , shut up [Mario]89-mario ! [I]2342-matt ’m not stupid . ’[54-victoria] [she]54-victoria spits . [Poor Mario]89-mario flinches before returning to wiping the bar , keeping [his]89-mario eyes on [Sarah]54-victoria . [I]2342-matt want to jump to [his]89-mario defense , but just as [I]2342-matt ’m contemplating doing exactly that , [she]54-victoria puts out [her]54-victoria hand . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m [Sarah]54-victoria , [you]54-victoria are ? ’[2342-matt] Oh yes , the last time [she]54-victoria asked [me]2342-matt that [I]2342-matt did n’t answer and left rather hastily . [I]2342-matt accept [her]54-victoria hand , shaking it lightly as [she]54-victoria eyes [me]2342-matt suspiciously . [I]2342-matt can tell [she]54-victoria does n’t like [me]2342-matt . Perhaps [she]54-victoria sees [me]2342-matt as a threat . ‘ [Ava O’Shea]832-ava . ’[54-victoria] [I]2342-matt offer , releasing [my]2342-matt hold of [her]54-victoria hand swiftly . ‘ And [you]832-ava ’re[54-victoria] here because ? ’ [I]54-victoria laugh lightly . [I]54-victoria ’m[54-victoria] sure [she]54-victoria knows exactly why [I]2342-matt ’m here , which only serves to confirm that [she]54-victoria ’s feeling threatened and going out of [her]54-victoria way to make [me]2342-matt feel uncomfortable . Sheath the claws , [lady]54-victoria . [I]2342-matt silently smile at the thought of telling [her]54-victoria that it ’s because [[her]54-victoria boyfriend]54-victoria pleaded with [me]2342-matt to be [here]314-here . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m [an Interior Designer]54-victoria . [I]54-victoria ’m[54-victoria] here to measure up [the new bedrooms]494-the new bedrooms . ’ [She]54-victoria arches an eyebrow , flicking [her]54-victoria hand in the air to get [Mario]89-mario ’s attention . [This woman]54-victoria is something else , with aloofness in equal measure to Wards boldness . [Her]54-victoria blonde , layered hair is flicking here and there , [her]54-victoria lips the same pouty red as [they]2452-they were on Friday , and [she]65-ha ’s wearing a fitted , grey trouser suit . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] being unkind when [I]2342-matt put [her]65-ha at forty . [She]65-ha ’s probably mid - thirties – far closer to [Ward]327-jesse in age than [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt quickly reign in [my]2342-matt wandering thoughts , mentally slapping [my]2342-matt own desperate arse . ‘ Sloe gin and tonic , [Mario]89-mario , ’[65-ha] [she]65-ha demands past [me]2342-matt . No please and no smile . [She]65-ha really is quite rude . ‘ [You]497-you ’re[65-ha] a bit young to be [an interior designer]275-an interior designer , are n’t [you]497-you ? ’ [Her]65-ha tone is unfriendly , and [she]65-ha does n’t look at [me]2342-matt when [she]65-ha speaks . [I]2342-matt bristle . [I]2342-matt really do n’t like [this woman]65-ha . What does [Ward]327-jesse see in [her]65-ha , apart from over inflated , pouty lips and obvious breast implants ? ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt am . ’ [I]2342-matt agree . [She]65-ha feels threatened by [my]2342-matt youth as well . Good . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] beyond relieved when [John]832-ava appears in the doorway . [He]832-ava pulls [his]832-ava glasses down , giving [Sarah]54-victoria a peculiar look before nodding at [me]2342-matt . What ’s with all these looks being thrown around ? [I]2342-matt do n’t dwell on it , though . [John]832-ava ’s nod is the cue [I]2342-matt need to escape [this woman]65-ha . [I]2342-matt place [my]2342-matt empty glass on the bar more forcefully than [I]2342-matt intend to . [Mario]89-mario ’s head snaps up , and [I]2342-matt smile an apology , lowering [myself]2342-matt from the stool . ‘ Nice meeting [you]65-ha , [Sarah]54-victoria . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say pleasantly . It ’s a lie . [I]2342-matt do n’t like [her]65-ha , and [I]2342-matt know the feeling ’s mutual . [She]65-ha does n’t look at [me]2342-matt . [She]65-ha accepts the drink that [Mario]89-mario hands [her]65-ha , without so much as a thank [you]499-you , and walks off to chat with [a male business type]500-a male business type at the other end of [the bar]361-the bar . When [I]2342-matt reach [John]832-ava , [he]832-ava leads [me]2342-matt up [the grand staircase]2361-the corridor to [the gallery landing]2393-the gallery landing and through to the new extension . ‘ [I]832-ava ’ll be fine on [my]832-ava own , [John]832-ava . [I]832-ava do n’t want to keep [you]832-ava . ’[832-ava] [I]2342-matt offer [him]832-ava the chance to leave [me]2342-matt to it as [he]832-ava leads [me]2342-matt down [the corridor]2361-the corridor . ‘ S’all good , [girl]832-ava . ’[832-ava] [he]832-ava rumbles , opening the door into [the furthest room]2379-the rooms . [We]505-we start measuring up , working [our]505-we way back through [the rooms]2379-the rooms . [John]832-ava dutifully holds the tape measure for [me]2342-matt , nodding every so often when [I]2342-matt give direction . The phrase “ [A man of few words ”]506-a man of few words ” was invented with [John]832-ava in mind , [I]2342-matt ’m sure . [He]832-ava talks with [his]832-ava nods , and even though [his]832-ava eyes are covered with [his]832-ava sunglasses , [I]2342-matt can identify when [he]832-ava ’s looking at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt make all the notes [I]2342-matt need in [my]2342-matt folder , ideas thrashing around in [my]2342-matt head already . An hour later , [I]2342-matt have all the measurements [I]2342-matt need and [we]2453-we ’re[2342-matt] done . [I]2342-matt follow [John]832-ava ’s huge body back onto the gallery landing , as [I]2342-matt search for [my]2342-matt phone within [my]2342-matt bag . [I]2342-matt soon realise that in [my]2342-matt desperation to get shot of [Sarah]54-victoria , [I]2342-matt left it on [the bar]361-the bar . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ve left [my]2342-matt phone in [the bar]361-the bar . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mutter to [John]832-ava ’s back . ‘ [I]832-ava ’ll make sure [Mario]89-mario ’s picked it up . [Jesse]327-jesse wanted [me]832-ava to show [you]327-jesse one of [the other rooms]2454-the other rooms before [you]327-jesse go . ’[832-ava] [he]832-ava informs [me]2342-matt evenly . ‘ Why ? ’[832-ava] ‘ So [you]327-jesse get an idea of [your]327-jesse brief . ’[832-ava] [He]832-ava puts a keycard in the slot , opens the door and ushers [me]2342-matt in . Oh , okay . It ca n’t hurt , and [I]2342-matt am interested . Wow ! [I]2342-matt walk into the middle of [the room]2350-the room . Well , mini - suite would better describe it . The floor space is probably bigger that [Kate]2557-kate ’s flat . Hearing the door close behind [me]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt turn to see [John]832-ava has left [me]2342-matt to take it in on [my]2342-matt own . [I]2342-matt stand absorbing the opulent spender of the décor . [These rooms]2350-the room are more lavish than the ones [downstairs]2323-downstairs , if that ’s possible . A giant bed dominates [the room]2350-the room , dressed in rich satin linen in deep purples and gold . The wall behind the bed is papered in an embossed , intense swirling of dull gold , and heavy thick curtains pool the thick , bouncy carpet . The lighting is dim and soft . One of [Ward]327-jesse ’s key requirements was sensuality , and whoever designed [this room]2350-the room has achieved it in abundance . Why does n’t [he]832-ava just re - employ [this designer]510-this designer ? [I]2342-matt wander over to the huge , sash window and look out over [the rear grounds]511-the rear grounds . The land [The Manor]2356-the manor stands on is vast , the views tremendous and the lush greenness of [the Surrey countryside]513-the surrey countryside is rolling for miles and miles beyond . It really is quite special . [I]2342-matt walk over and run [my]2342-matt palm across a lovely dark wooden chest of drawers . [I]2342-matt place [my]2342-matt folder and bag on the top before lowering [myself]2342-matt onto the chaise lounge in the window . [I]2342-matt sit and take in [my]2342-matt surroundings . It ’s incredible and would undoubtedly rival [many of [the most famous hotels spread across [the world]516-the world ’s biggest cities]515-the most famous hotels spread across the world ’s biggest cities]514-many of the most famous hotels spread across the world ’s biggest cities . A huge wall hanging grabs [my]2342-matt attention . It ’s quite odd but beautifully made . It must be an antique . Half attached to the wall and drifting up onto the ceiling where the huge beams span , it ’s grid like in appearance , but there ’s no material or lighting adorning it . [I]2342-matt tilt [my]2342-matt head on a frown , but then fly up to standing position when [I]2342-matt hear a noise coming from [the bathroom]2350-the room . Oh shit . [He]518-he ’s put [me]2342-matt in [an occupied room]519-an occupied room … or has [he]518-he ? [I]2342-matt ca n’t hear anything now . [I]2342-matt keep [myself]2342-matt still and quiet , trying to listen for movement , but there ’s nothing . [I]2342-matt relax a little , but then [I]2342-matt hear the door handle on the bathroom shift and [my]2342-matt head snaps up . Oh , heck . [I]2342-matt should be running to escape before [some poor sod]520-some poor sod comes out of [[their]520-some poor sod bathroom]2350-the room , possibly naked , and finds [a strange woman]521-a strange woman , standing like a complete plum , in the middle of [[their]520-some poor sod posh suite]522-their posh suite . [I]2342-matt pelt towards the chest of drawers to retrieve [my]2342-matt bag and swing around towards [the exit]371-the exit . [I]2342-matt gasp , dropping [my]2342-matt bag to the floor . [I]2342-matt ’m frozen on the spot and staring at [Jesse Ward]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse ’s standing in the doorway of [the bathroom]2350-the room , wearing nothing but a pair of loose fitting jeans . Chapter 5 [He]327-jesse remains silent as [I]2342-matt look at [him]327-jesse in shock , waiting for an explanation . [I]2342-matt get nothing , except for [his]327-jesse intense , green eyes gazing at [me]2342-matt from across [the room]2350-the room . [I]2342-matt feel like [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] under a microscope , and that glass of wine is on spin cycle in [my]2342-matt stomach , churning around and around as [I]2342-matt shift nervously on [my]2342-matt heels . ‘ Is this some kind of joke ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt half laugh . [I]2342-matt ’m still waiting for enlightenment , but it ’s not forthcoming . [I]2342-matt try to ignore the mass of [magnificent man]2342-matt and frantically search [my]2342-matt brain for guidance or instruction . It ’s useless . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not blind . [I]2342-matt ’ll happily volunteer that [I]2342-matt ’ve imagined [his]2342-matt chest , more than once , and it exceeds even [my]2342-matt highest imaginations and expectations . [This man]2342-matt is way past perfect . What should [I]2342-matt do ? [He]2342-matt ’s just standing there , with [his]2342-matt head slightly lowered , staring up at [me]2342-matt through [his]2342-matt long lashes . [His]2342-matt eyes are piercing [me]2342-matt , [his]2342-matt mouth slack , and [I]2342-matt can see the rise and fall of [his]2342-matt incredible chest . There ’s some serious definition ; not too bulky , just clean … cut … perfection . If [he]2342-matt ’s devastating fully clothed , then [he]2342-matt ’s seizure worthy now . [I]2342-matt take a deep breath . Oh God , [he]2342-matt has the V. [His]2342-matt heavy breathing is causing [his]2342-matt muscles to roll and ripple , the increased swells putting the stoppers on [his]2342-matt attempt to appear unaffected . [He]2342-matt ’s really affected . What ’s [he]2342-matt doing there like that ? [Stood]90-stood with only a pair of jeans on , looking all freshly shaven , revealing even more beauty ? [I]2342-matt mentally slap [myself]2342-matt . It ’s obvious what [he]2342-matt ’s playing at . [I]2342-matt knew [I]2342-matt should n’t have trusted [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt ’s unreal and so bloody forward – it ’s almost unattractive … almost . [I]2342-matt laugh lightly to [myself]2342-matt . It ’s not unattractive – not at all . [I]2342-matt ’m a pooling mass of want . Was [I]2342-matt hoping to see [him]2342-matt ? Yes , [I]2342-matt ’ll admit that . But like this ? Yes , actually , [I]2342-matt was . [I]2342-matt ’ve thought of little else since [I]2342-matt laid eyes on [him]2342-matt . [His]2342-matt arms drape by [his]2342-matt sides , but [his]2342-matt stance is confident and determined . [He]2342-matt ’s staring at [me]2342-matt with complete intent , [his]2342-matt look telling [me]2342-matt [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] about to melt with pleasure . [I]2342-matt should leave , but as much as [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt need to , as much as [I]2342-matt ’m battling with [my]2342-matt sensible side to run , [I]2342-matt do n’t . Instead , [I]2342-matt run [my]2342-matt eyes down [his]2342-matt jean clad thighs , noticing the bulge at [his]2342-matt groin . [He]2342-matt ’s absolutely turned on , and judging by the coiled pang of desire that has just sprung into [my]2342-matt stomach , so am I. [My]2342-matt body clams up with panic , battling between [my]2342-matt conflicting sides – the sensible side , telling [me]2342-matt to get the hell out of here , and [my]2342-matt dangerous side , pleading with [me]2342-matt to stay and take what [he]2342-matt wants to give . This is wrong . [I]2342-matt was just chatting to [[his]2342-matt girlfriend]2455-his girlfriend [downstairs]2323-downstairs . Well , not chatting . Chatting would imply that it was a friendly converse – it was n’t . [My]2342-matt debating brain has got [me]2342-matt shifting [my]2342-matt position as [I]2342-matt part [my]2342-matt lips to draw a steadying breath . [I]2342-matt flex [my]2342-matt neck . ‘[2342-matt] Relax , [Ava]832-ava , ’ [he]2342-matt soothes [me]832-ava quietly . ‘[832-ava] [You]832-ava know [you]832-ava want this . ’ [I]832-ava almost laugh . Who would n’t ? Look at [him]2342-matt . [I]832-ava stand motionless , the only visible movement is [my]832-ava heart hammering out of [my]832-ava chest , and it increases tenfold when [he]2342-matt slowly begins to walk towards [me]832-ava , [his]2342-matt eyes fixed on [mine]832-ava . When [he]2342-matt ’s a few feet away , [his]2342-matt fresh , minty scent engulfs [my]832-ava nose , sending [my]832-ava body involuntarily rigid . [I]832-ava do n’t know how [I]832-ava manage it , but [I]832-ava keep [my]832-ava eyes to [his]524-his , lifting them to maintain contact as [he]524-his nears , until [he]524-his ’s standing before [me]832-ava . [He]524-his ’s as close as [he]524-his can be without physically touching [me]832-ava . If there ’s a Def - Con One version of high alert for the human body , then [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] in it now . ‘ Turn around . ’[524-his] [he]524-his orders gently . [I]2342-matt conform without even a thought or hesitation , slowly turning away from [him]524-his as [I]2342-matt puff [my]2342-matt cheeks out and clench [my]2342-matt eyes shut . What am [I]2342-matt doing ? [I]2342-matt did n’t falter in the slightest . [My]2342-matt shoulders are tensing , anticipating [his]524-his touch , and no amount of mental encouragement to relax is paying off . The only sound breaking the screaming silence is the heavy breathing coming from [both of [us]525-both of us]525-both of us . [I]2342-matt stand for a few moments , then go to turn and face [him]524-his again , but [I]2342-matt ’m stopped in [my]2342-matt tracks when two firm , warm , slightly shaky hands rest on [my]2342-matt shoulders , keeping [me]2342-matt from following through on [my]2342-matt intent . [His]524-his touch makes [me]2342-matt flinch , and [he]524-his releases one hand slowly , as if to ensure [I]2342-matt ’ll stay still . [My]2342-matt loose hair is gathered into [his]524-his hand and released to fall down [my]2342-matt front . In [my]2342-matt own private darkness , [I]2342-matt can hear [my]2342-matt head demanding [I]2342-matt run away , but [my]2342-matt body has a whole other agenda . It ’s defiantly ignoring any instructions from [my]2342-matt brain . [His]524-his hand returns to [my]2342-matt shoulder and slowly massages [my]2342-matt tense muscles . The feeling is divine , [my]2342-matt head rolling in appreciation as a small sigh escapes [my]2342-matt lips . The pressure increases , and [I]2342-matt soak up the delicious movements of [his]524-his talented hands as [I]2342-matt feel [his]524-his hot minty breath getting closer to [my]2342-matt ear . [I]2342-matt shudder , moving [my]2342-matt face towards the source . [I]2342-matt know this is inviting , but right at this moment , [I]2342-matt ’ve lost all sense . [I]2342-matt want more . ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t stop this . ’ [he]526-he whispers , the vibrations of [his]526-he voice propelling shockwaves throughout [my]2342-matt body . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] physically shaking . It ’s way beyond [my]2342-matt control . [My]2342-matt breath catches at the back of [my]2342-matt throat . ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t want to . ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt voice is unrecognisable . [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]526-he ’s captured [me]2342-matt like this ; [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [I]2342-matt ’m accepting this . ‘[2342-matt] It ’s a good job . [I]2342-matt do n’t think [I]2342-matt ’d let [you]527-you . ’ [He]526-he presses [his]526-he entire front against [my]2342-matt back , [his]526-he mouth dropping to [my]2342-matt ear . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m going to take [your]527-you dress off now . ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt nod of agreement is almost non - existent , but [he]526-he catches it and answers by nipping [my]2342-matt earlobe , which only assists in raising the relentless pressure in [my]2342-matt already throbbing core . ‘ [You]832-ava ’re[832-ava] too fucking beautiful , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]526-he purrs , skimming [his]526-he lips across [my]832-ava ear . ‘[832-ava] Oh god , ’ [I]832-ava lean back into [him]526-he , [his]526-he erection throbbing through [his]526-he jeans , pulsing into [my]832-ava lower back . ‘[832-ava] Do [you]832-ava feel that ? ’ [He]526-he circles [his]526-he hips . [I]2342-matt moan . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m going to have [you]832-ava , [lady]832-ava ’[526-he] [His]526-he words are spoken with absolute conviction . [I]2342-matt ’m [a complete slave]2457-a complete slave to [them]348-women . [I]2342-matt know [he]526-he ’s bound to have had practice in [this area]2458-this area ; [he]526-he must have the gift of seduction down to a fine art . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not in denial . [Women]348-women must be falling at [his]526-he feet on a daily basis . [He]526-he ’s [a well - trained master]529-a well - trained master , seeing and taking what [he]526-he wants , but it does n’t bother [me]2342-matt in the slightest . Right now , [I]2342-matt ’m here for the taking , with no conscience and no indecisiveness . Caution has been wholly and absolutely thrown to the wind . What harm can it do ? [I]2342-matt feel [his]526-he index finger start at the base of [my]2342-matt back , trailing a slow , definite stroke up the centre of [my]2342-matt spine , causing [my]2342-matt head to roll freely . [I]2342-matt plead with [my]2342-matt hands to remain at [my]2342-matt sides , when all [I]2342-matt want to do is turn and devour [him]526-he , but [he]526-he ’s already stopped [me]2342-matt from turning to face [him]526-he once . [He]526-he clearly likes to be in control . As [he]526-he reaches the very top of [my]2342-matt dress , [he]526-he grasps the zip and places [his]526-he hand on [my]2342-matt hip . [I]2342-matt jerk . It ’s [my]2342-matt ultimate tickle spot and any friction on [my]2342-matt hip bone , or the hollow above it , sends [me]2342-matt through the roof . Squeezing [my]2342-matt eyes shut , [I]2342-matt use every ounce of willpower [I]2342-matt possess to disregard the contact . It ’s hard , but the sheer size of [his]526-he hand splayed across [my]2342-matt hip grounds [me]2342-matt , keeping [me]2342-matt immobile . The zip of [my]2342-matt dress slowly lowers and [I]2342-matt hear [him]2342-matt gasp at the exposure of [my]2342-matt bare skin . [He]2342-matt removes [his]2342-matt hand from [my]2342-matt hip , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] stunned when [I]2342-matt miss the heat immediately . But then [I]2342-matt feel both hands slide under the material of [my]2342-matt dress and rest on [my]2342-matt bare shoulders . [His]2342-matt fingers flex as [he]2342-matt pushes [my]2342-matt dress away from [my]2342-matt front before slowly dragging it down [my]2342-matt body , letting it fall to the floor . [His]2342-matt breath catches , and [I]2342-matt thank everything holy that [I]2342-matt put on decent underwear . [I]2342-matt ’m stood in [my]2342-matt bra , knickers and heels , and at the complete mercy of the Adonis looming behind [me]2342-matt . What the hell am [I]2342-matt doing ? ‘[2342-matt] Hmmm , lace . ’ [he]2342-matt whispers . [My]2342-matt waist is griped and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] lifted out of the pooling dress before being turned to face [him]2342-matt . In these heels , [my]2342-matt eyes are level with [his]2342-matt chin and with a little flick upwards , [I]2342-matt ’m focused on [his]2342-matt full , beautiful lips and wishing [he]2342-matt would lay them on [mine]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] swiftly losing [my]2342-matt self - control and [my]2342-matt conscience has long left [the building]390-the building . [I]2342-matt ’m wanton , and with [this man]2342-matt , easy . [He]2342-matt lifts a hand to [my]2342-matt breast and circles [my]2342-matt nipple through [my]2342-matt bra with [his]2342-matt thumb , [his]2342-matt gaze focused on [his]2342-matt movements . [My]2342-matt nipples tingle at the contact , lengthening behind the material of [my]2342-matt bra . A small smile plays at the corners of [his]2342-matt lips . [He]2342-matt knows the affect [he]2342-matt ’s having on [me]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt introduces [his]2342-matt index finger and tweaks the stiff nub , causing [my]2342-matt breasts to throb , becoming heavy , aching mounds . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] completely rapt by this man studying [me]2342-matt so closely , working [me]2342-matt up into a shaking , desperate mess . [I]2342-matt still ca n’t believe [I]2342-matt ’m doing this , but damn , can [I]2342-matt stop it ? [I]2342-matt watch as [he]2342-matt brings [his]2342-matt other hand up to palm [my]2342-matt other breast . [I]2342-matt can no longer keep [my]2342-matt hands off of [him]2342-matt . [My]2342-matt arms lift and [my]2342-matt palms settle on [his]2342-matt chest . The warmness and firmness hitches [my]2342-matt breath . [I]2342-matt start to trail [my]2342-matt finger down the void between [his]2342-matt pecs , smiling to [myself]2342-matt when [I]2342-matt feel [him]2342-matt flinch under [my]2342-matt touch and groan low in [his]2342-matt throat . Before [I]2342-matt can make the most of the access to [his]2342-matt body , [he]2342-matt turns [me]2342-matt back around , and [I]2342-matt want to cry inside . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt want to see [you]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt breathe . ‘[2342-matt] Shhhh . ’ [He]2342-matt hushes [me]2342-matt , unclasping [my]2342-matt bra and running [his]2342-matt hands under the straps . [He]2342-matt lowers them down [my]2342-matt arms , letting it drop to the floor , before [his]2342-matt hands find [my]2342-matt breasts and knead deliberately . [He]2342-matt continues to breathe hot , heavy breaths in [my]2342-matt ear . ‘[2342-matt] You.and.me . ’ [he]2342-matt growls and spins [me]2342-matt around , crashing [his]2342-matt lips against [mine]2342-matt , robbing [me]2342-matt of breath . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] back to where [I]2342-matt want to be . [His]2342-matt tongue skims [my]2342-matt bottom lip , seeking entry , and [I]2342-matt do n’t deny [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt accept [him]2342-matt into [my]2342-matt mouth , [our]531-our tongues dueling , [his]2342-matt mouth hot , [his]2342-matt tongue lax but severe . [I]2342-matt fling [my]2342-matt arms over [his]2342-matt shoulders to pull [him]2342-matt closer as [he]2342-matt presses [his]2342-matt groin into [my]2342-matt lower stomach . [His]2342-matt erection is as hard as steel and bidding for escape from the confines of the denim encasing it . Every part of [him]2342-matt feels perfect . It ’s everything [I]2342-matt imagined . A low moan escapes [his]2342-matt mouth as both of [his]2342-matt hands drift up [my]2342-matt back to cup [my]2342-matt head , [his]2342-matt fingers splayed around the back , the heel of [his]2342-matt palms resting on [my]2342-matt cheek bones . [He]2342-matt breaks the kiss and [I]2342-matt whimper at the loss . [His]2342-matt shoulders are rising and falling with the deep breaths [he]2342-matt ’s struggling to get into [his]2342-matt lungs , and [he]2342-matt rests [his]2342-matt forehead against [mine]2342-matt with [his]2342-matt eyes clenched shut . [He]2342-matt looks in pain . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to get lost in [you]532-you . ’ [he]2342-matt breathes , [his]2342-matt hand traveling back down the curve of [my]2342-matt spine to the rear of [my]2342-matt thigh . With one gentle tug , [he]2342-matt pulls [my]2342-matt leg up to rest against [his]2342-matt hip , cupping [my]2342-matt bum with [his]2342-matt other . [He]2342-matt searches [my]2342-matt eyes desperately . ‘[2342-matt] There ’s something here , ’ [he]2342-matt whispers . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not imagining it . ’[2342-matt] No , [he]2342-matt ’s not . [I]2342-matt think back to Friday , when [I]2342-matt first laid [my]2342-matt eyes on [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt felt like [I]2342-matt ’d been electrocuted , all sorts of strange reactions firing off in [my]2342-matt mind and body . That was n’t normal , and [I]2342-matt ’m so relieved that [I]2342-matt was n’t [the only one to feel it]2459-the only one to feel it . ‘[2342-matt] There ’s something . ’ [I]2342-matt confirm quietly , watching as [his]2342-matt eyes change from uncertainty to complete satisfaction . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] stood on one leg , semi draped around [his]2342-matt waist , ready to jump the gun and wrap [my]2342-matt other leg around [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt need to feel all of [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt need [his]2342-matt lips on [mine]2342-matt . As if reading [my]2342-matt mind , [he]2342-matt tilts [his]2342-matt head and lowers [his]2342-matt mouth to [mine]2342-matt , but this time [he]2342-matt ’s calmer as [he]2342-matt gently brushes [his]2342-matt lips over [mine]2342-matt at the most dreamy pace . [He]2342-matt tilts [his]2342-matt pelvis into [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt instantly recognise the start of a huge build - up of pressure in [my]2342-matt groin . [I]2342-matt ’m powerless to control it ; [I]2342-matt do n’t want to control it . Grinding [his]2342-matt hips against [me]2342-matt , [he]2342-matt continues to take [my]2342-matt mouth slowly , the combined sensation having [me]2342-matt tinkering on the edge . One touch and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] likely to explode . [His]2342-matt kiss hardens , the grinding of [his]2342-matt hips increasing . ‘ Oh , [Jesus]72-jesus , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt mumbles against [my]2342-matt lips . ‘ Do n’t ruin this . ’[2342-matt] Do n’t ruin this ? Why is [he]2342-matt pleading with [me]2342-matt , or is [he]2342-matt pleading with [himself]2342-matt ? But then it all becomes clear when [I]2342-matt hear someone calling [Jesse]327-jesse ’s name . [I]2342-matt recognise the cold , unfriendly voice as [Sarah]54-victoria ’s . And just like that , [my]2342-matt building pleasure dies of death , retreating faster than it came . Fuck off , fuck off , fuck off ! [I]2342-matt ’m screaming it repeatedly in [my]2342-matt head . [My]2342-matt languid , worked up body suddenly stiffens , [my]2342-matt fingers digging into [Jesse]327-jesse ’s shoulders . What am [I]2342-matt doing ? [[His]327-jesse girlfriend]398-her boyfriend is prowling around , possibly outside , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] shacked up in here with [[her]54-victoria boyfriend]398-her boyfriend ’s hands all over [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m hideous ! [He]398-her boyfriend deepens the kiss , pushing onto [my]2342-matt lips to the point of pain , [his]398-her boyfriend tongue invading [my]2342-matt mouth with urgency . [I]2342-matt know [he]398-her boyfriend ’s trying to keep [me]2342-matt in the game . [He]398-her boyfriend releases [my]2342-matt thigh and brings [his]398-her boyfriend hands to [my]2342-matt hips to keep [me]2342-matt still . [He]2342-matt thinks [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to run . [I]2342-matt am going to run . [He]2342-matt releases [my]2342-matt lips , [my]2342-matt head dropping automatically . ‘ The door ’s locked . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt assures [me]2342-matt quietly . [I]2342-matt ca n’t carry on with this now ! [I]2342-matt may not like [the woman]363-irene , but [I]2342-matt ’m not [a home wrecker]2460-a home wrecker . [I]2342-matt ’ve done some damage , but [I]2342-matt can stop this progressing to the point of no return . [He]2342-matt brings one hand up to seize [my]2342-matt jaw , tilting [my]2342-matt head up and holding it firm as [he]2342-matt focuses [his]2342-matt green pools straight on [me]2342-matt . [His]2342-matt frown line is clear as [he]2342-matt searches [my]2342-matt eyes for something – hope , [I]2342-matt think . ‘[2342-matt] Please . ’ [he]2342-matt mouths . [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head slightly in [his]2342-matt grasp , [my]2342-matt gaze plummeting to [his]2342-matt chest , [my]2342-matt eyes squeezing shut . [His]2342-matt hand tightens on [my]2342-matt hip and [he]2342-matt shakes [my]2342-matt jaw slightly in a desperate attempt to drag [me]2342-matt out of the shell [I]2342-matt ’ve crawled into . ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t run . ’ [He]2342-matt almost grinds the words out , making it sound more like an order . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ca n’t do this . ’ [I]327-jesse whisper , feeling [his]2342-matt hands drop away from [me]327-jesse on a frustrated growl . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’ [I]327-jesse hear [Sarah]54-victoria ’s voice again , but closer this time . In a complete daze , [I]327-jesse scoop [my]327-jesse dress up from the floor before running into [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom , slamming the door behind [me]327-jesse and flipping the lock . [I]327-jesse lean against the back of the door , virtually naked , trying to control [my]327-jesse erratic breathing . [I]327-jesse look up to the ceiling in an attempt to prevent the tears from falling . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] so disappointed with [myself]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt hear the sound of muffled voices coming from [the bedroom]2382-the bathroom , and [I]2342-matt try to stabilise [my]2342-matt breathing so [I]2342-matt can listen to what ’s going on . But , there ’s nothing . No noise , no talking … nothing . Damn [me]2342-matt for being half naked so [I]2342-matt ca n’t escape . Instead , [I]2342-matt ’ve resorted to fleeing into [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom , hiding like the desperate tart that [I]2342-matt am . [I]2342-matt ’m not comfortable with these feelings . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] truly ashamed of [myself]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’ve been cheated on plenty of times , and [I]2342-matt ’ve annihilated all of [those women who ’ve intruded on [my]2342-matt relationships]536-those women who ’ve intruded on my relationships . Over many a bottle of wine , [I]2342-matt ’ve condemned [them]536-those women who ’ve intruded on my relationships , bad mouthed [them]536-those women who ’ve intruded on my relationships and wished [them]536-those women who ’ve intruded on my relationships some truly merciless reprisals . Now , [I]2342-matt ’m [one of [them]536-those women who ’ve intruded on my relationships]460-one of them . [I]2342-matt groan , smacking the heel of [my]2342-matt hand on [my]2342-matt forehead . [Tart]91-tart ! When [I]2342-matt hear a door shut , [I]2342-matt stiffen . Is that [him]91-tart leaving , or is [he]91-tart coming back ? Either way , [I]2342-matt need to get dressed . [I]2342-matt search for [my]2342-matt bra within the bunching material of [my]2342-matt dress that ’s gathered in [my]2342-matt hands – no bra . Shaking [my]2342-matt dress out frantically , [I]2342-matt pray for its appearance but still … nothing . [I]2342-matt sigh and step into [my]2342-matt dress , pulling it up [my]2342-matt body and reaching around to fasten the zip . [I]2342-matt ’ll have to do without because [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] certainly not attempting to retrieve it from [the bedroom]535-the bedroom . [I]2342-matt walk over to the mirror to inspect [myself]2342-matt . It ’s as [I]2342-matt suspected ; [I]2342-matt look dreadful . [My]2342-matt eyes are swimming with unshed tears , [my]2342-matt lips swollen and red , and [my]2342-matt cheeks are flushed . [I]2342-matt look harassed ; [I]2342-matt am harassed . [I]2342-matt try in vain to straighten [myself]2342-matt out , so [I]2342-matt can at least exit with a bit of dignity in tack , but there ’s no escaping the distraught look [I]2342-matt ’m displaying . This will be the ultimate walk of shame . [I]832-ava flinch when there ’s a knock on the door . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [I]832-ava keep quiet . Oh God , [he]538-a disappointed man blocking my escape sounds almost angry . [I]832-ava pull [my]832-ava fingers through [my]832-ava hair and dab [my]832-ava eyes with tissue to soak up the tears . [I]832-ava look no better , but [I]832-ava know [I]832-ava ’ll feel better when [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] out of here . Geeing [myself]2342-matt up to face the music that ’s [a disappointed man blocking [my]2342-matt escape]538-a disappointed man blocking my escape , [I]2342-matt gingerly unlock the door . It flies open , nearly knocking [me]2342-matt off of [my]2342-matt feet , and [Jesse]327-jesse is filling the doorway . [He]327-jesse is angry . And [he]327-jesse ’s blocking [my]2342-matt path . [I]2342-matt look past [him]327-jesse into [the bedroom]535-the bedroom , finding [we]540-me ’re alone . [He]327-jesse must be a bloody convincing liar because [he]327-jesse ’s still shirtless , and there ’s no [Sarah]54-victoria trying to rip [my]540-me hair out . As if [he]327-jesse has the right to look at [me]540-me all disapproving and make [me]540-me feel like a letdown . [I]540-me push past [him]327-jesse . ‘[540-me] Where the hell are [you]541-you going ? ’ [he]327-jesse shouts after [me]832-ava . [I]832-ava do n’t respond . [I]832-ava keep [my]832-ava pace up , grabbing [my]832-ava bag and stalking out onto [the gallery landing]2393-the gallery landing , hearing [Jesse]327-jesse curse as [I]832-ava make [my]832-ava escape . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava ! ’ [he]327-jesse yells . [I]832-ava take [the stairs]272-the stairs fast , glancing up as [I]832-ava go , spotting [Jesse]327-jesse flying out of [the suite]272-the stairs , fighting to get [his]327-jesse t - shirt on . Detouring into [the bar]361-the bar to collect [my]832-ava phone , [I]832-ava find [Mario]89-mario serving [some gentlemen]2465-some gentlemen . [My]832-ava good manners prevent [me]832-ava from demanding it immediately , so [I]832-ava stand patiently and wait , fidgeting and flustering the whole time . ‘[832-ava] Did [you]542-i get what [you]542-i came for ? ’ [Sarah]54-victoria ’s cold voice stabs at [my]542-i flesh . Oh [God]68-god , does [she]54-victoria know ? Is there a double meaning there ? [I]542-i turn , plastering on a false smile . ‘[542-i] [You]542-i mean measurements ? Yes . ’ [She]54-victoria looks [me]542-i over , [her]54-victoria elbow resting on [her]54-victoria hip , with [her]54-victoria sloe gin and tonic suspended in front of [her]54-victoria face . [She]54-victoria knows . Oh , this is awful . [Jesse]327-jesse races into [the bar]361-the bar , skidding to a stop in front of [us]2467-us . [I]542-i look at [him]327-jesse in horror . Could [he]327-jesse be any more obvious ? [I]542-i glance at [Sarah]54-victoria to gage [her]54-victoria reaction to this little scene , finding [her]54-victoria looking thoughtfully at [us]2467-us both . [She]54-victoria definitely knows . [I]542-i need to leave , right now . [I]542-i turn back towards [the bar]361-the bar . Thank God , [Mario]89-mario spots [me]542-i . ‘[542-i] [Miss O’Shea]832-ava , here , [you]832-ava must try . ’ [He]327-jesse hands [me]542-i a short of some sort . ‘[542-i] Do [you]832-ava have [my]2342-matt phone , [Mario]89-mario ? ’ ‘[832-ava] [You]832-ava try . ’ [he]327-jesse demands . In [my]832-ava desperation to get out of here , [I]832-ava knock the whole thing back in one foul gulp . It burns the back of [my]832-ava throat , continuing the burn as it makes its way down [my]832-ava throat and into [my]832-ava stomach . [My]832-ava mouth forms an O as [I]832-ava squeeze [my]832-ava eyes shut . ‘[832-ava] Wow ! ’ ‘[832-ava] It is good ? ’ [I]832-ava blow out a long , hot breath , handing the glass back to [him]327-jesse . ‘[832-ava] Yes . It ’s very good . ’ [I]91-tart begin to get the aftertaste of … cherries ? [He]327-jesse takes the glass , winks and hands [me]91-tart [my]91-tart phone . [I]91-tart smooth [my]91-tart dress , taking a deep breath , before turning back to face [the two people [I]91-tart never want to see again]2468-the two people i never want to see again . [I]91-tart ’m[91-tart] sure there ’s a gigantic , neon sign saying [Tart]91-tart flashing on [my]2342-matt forehead . ‘ [You]327-jesse left this [upstairs]2469-upstairs . ’[91-tart] [Ward]327-jesse hands [me]2342-matt [my]2342-matt folder but does n’t release it when [I]2342-matt tug gently . ‘ Thank [you]327-jesse , ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt frown at [him]327-jesse as [he]327-jesse stares at [me]2342-matt , [his]327-jesse brow completely furrowed as [he]327-jesse chews [his]327-jesse bottom lip . [He]327-jesse finally lets it go , and [I]2342-matt tuck it in [my]2342-matt bag . ‘ Goodbye . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt leave [them]543-them both in [the bar]361-the bar , making [my]2342-matt way to [[my]2342-matt car]2340-my mini . [He]327-jesse ca n’t pursue [me]2342-matt with [Sarah]54-victoria there to bear witness and that is a major relief . [I]2342-matt get in and start [[my]2342-matt car]2340-my mini , ignoring the voice in [my]2342-matt head screaming “ [You]546-i ’re probably over the limit ! ” This is so irresponsible of [me]546-i , but desperation leaves [me]546-i with no alternative . [I]546-i reverse out of the space and see [Jesse]327-jesse come bounding out of the doors . [He]327-jesse ca n’t be serious ? Why does n’t [he]327-jesse just come out and tell [her]54-victoria exactly what just happened ? Frantically , [I]546-i shift into first gear , pulling off sharply and leaving a cloud of dust in [my]546-i wake . [I]546-i ’ve never drove [[my]546-i Mini]2340-my mini so erratically . As the fog of dust clears behind [me]546-i , [I]546-i see [Jesse]327-jesse in the rear view mirror , throwing [his]327-jesse arms around in the air like [some raving lunatic]2470-some raving lunatic . [I]546-i speed down [the tree covered driveway]2471-the tree covered driveway , [my]546-i head spinning – a mixture of drink and distress – trying to block everything out of [my]546-i mind and concentrate on [the road ahead of [me]546-i]2472-the road ahead of me . [I]546-i ’m[546-i] in no state to be driving . All [my]2342-matt senses are dulled , the drink only a minor contributing factor to [my]2342-matt hysterical state of mind . Glancing down at the dashboard , [I]2342-matt note [I]2342-matt ’m driving stupidly fast and without the headlights or [my]2342-matt seatbelt on . [My]2342-matt head is all over [the place]308-the place . The gates come into view and [I]2342-matt release the accelerator . ‘[2342-matt] Open , please , open . ’ [I]2342-matt plead as [I]2342-matt pull to a standstill . ‘[2342-matt] Open ! ’ [I]2342-matt thump the steering wheel in frustration and the horn screams , sending [me]2342-matt on a startled jump in [my]2342-matt seat . The sound of [a car]2474-a car approaching drags [my]2342-matt eyes to the rearview mirror . The headlights are getting closer . ‘[2342-matt] Oh , fucking hell ! ’ [I]2342-matt curse . It skids to a stop behind [me]2342-matt and the door flies open . [Jesse]327-jesse gets out and strides forward at a leisurely rate , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not trying to kid [myself]2342-matt that [he]547-he does n’t look fuming . Just because [he]547-he did n’t get [his]547-he rocks off ? [I]2342-matt dramatically slump [my]2342-matt arms and head onto the steering wheel , feeling completely flattened . [My]2342-matt aim to escape , no questions asked or explanations given , has been well and truly dashed – not that [I]2342-matt owe [him]547-he any explanations . The situation , in all its hideousness , speaks for itself . The driver door is yanked open and [he]547-he grabs [my]2342-matt arm , gently pulling [me]2342-matt from [the car]548-the car and taking [my]2342-matt keys from the ignition . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , ’[547-he] [He]547-he looks at [me]2342-matt all disapproving . [I]2342-matt want to yell at [him]547-he , but [he]547-he gets in first . ‘ [You]549-you ’re[547-he] half pissed ! [I]2342-matt swear to [God]68-god , if [you]549-you ’d of hurt [yourself]549-you … ’ [I]549-you wince at [his]547-he words , mentally scolding [myself]549-you for being so reckless . [I]549-you stand in front of [him]547-he , soaking up [his]547-he displeasure , feeling humiliated and pathetic . [He]547-he grasps [my]549-you jaw in [his]547-he hand to look down at [me]549-you . [He]547-he ’s moving in for a kiss , [I]549-you can see it in [his]547-he eyes . Oh , please . [I]549-you really do n’t need this . [I]549-you pull [my]549-you face from [his]547-he grip . ‘[549-you] Are [you]549-you okay ? ’ [he]547-he asks softly , reaching for [me]2342-matt again . [I]2342-matt brush [him]547-he off . ‘[2342-matt] Funnily enough , no , [I]2342-matt ’m not . Why did [you]549-you do that ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Is n’t it obvious ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]549-you want [me]2342-matt , ’[2342-matt] ‘ More than anything , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt states flatly . ‘ What ? [I]2342-matt ’ve never met [[anyone]2475-anyone so full of [themselves]2475-anyone]2475-anyone . Did [you]549-you plan this ? When [you]549-you rang [me]2342-matt yesterday , was this [your]549-you intention all along ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt admits . There ’s absolutely no apology in [his]2342-matt tone . ‘ [I]2342-matt want [you]549-you . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt have no idea how to deal with this . [He]2342-matt wants [me]2342-matt , so [he]2342-matt took [me]2342-matt . ‘ Can [you]549-you open the gates , please ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt start walking towards [them]550-i , but [they]550-i ’re still unmoving by the time [I]550-i reach [them]550-i . [I]550-i swing around in the most threatening manner [I]550-i can muster . ‘[550-i] Open the damn gates ! ’ ‘[550-i] [You]551-you honestly think [I]2342-matt ’m going to let [you]551-you go wandering aimlessly out there when [you]551-you ’re[2342-matt] miles from [home]281-home ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll call [a cab]553-a cab . It ’s not [your]551-you concern . Open the gates . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Absolutely not , [I]2342-matt ’ll take [you]551-you . ’ [I]2342-matt look at [[his]2342-matt car]2476-his car . It ’s [an Aston Martin]122-aston martin – all black , shiny and beautiful – it figures . ‘[2342-matt] Just open the fucking gates ! ’ [I]2342-matt scream at [him]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Watch [your]551-you fucking mouth ! ’ Watch [my]2342-matt mouth ? Watch [my]2342-matt bloody mouth ? [I]2342-matt want to thump [him]2342-matt , fall to [my]2342-matt knees and cry in frustration , proper howl at the moon wails . [I]2342-matt feel such [a fool]2477-a fool – humiliated and ashamed . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not prepared to be a notch on [[your]551-you busy bedpost]2478-your busy bedpost . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt spit . [I]2342-matt have a little more self - respect than that … kind of . ‘ [You]551-you actually believe that ? ’[554-he] [He]554-he ’s really very puzzled . Give [me]2342-matt strength . [This man]327-jesse is [the ultimate player]327-jesse , seeing and taking what [he]327-jesse wants , when [he]327-jesse wants it . Who does [he]327-jesse think [he]327-jesse is ? [Our]556-our confrontation is interrupted when [his]327-jesse mobile starts ringing . It ’s swiftly removed from [his]327-jesse pocket . ‘ [John]832-ava ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse turns and starts pacing . ‘ Yeah … okay . ’[327-jesse] The call is ended quickly . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’ll take [you]327-jesse [home]281-home . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse holds [his]327-jesse hand out . ‘ No , please . Just open the gates . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m pleading , and it was n’t the tone [I]2342-matt was aiming for . ‘[2342-matt] No , [I]2342-matt ’m not letting [you]327-jesse out there on [you]327-jesse own , [Ava]832-ava . End of . [You]327-jesse ’re[2342-matt] coming with [me]2342-matt . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , [you]327-jesse are . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt snap [my]2342-matt head up when [a car]2476-his car pulls off [the main road]294-the main road . ‘ Fuck ! ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse roars , yanking [his]327-jesse phone back out of [his]327-jesse pocket , at the same time trying to make a grab for [me]2342-matt . The gates start to open and [I]2342-matt run to grab [my]2342-matt bag from [[my]2342-matt car]2476-his car . ‘ [John]832-ava , do n’t open the fucking gates . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse yells into [his]327-jesse phone . ‘ Well , tell [Sarah]54-victoria not to ! ’[327-jesse] As soon as the opening is big enough to allow , [I]2342-matt squeeze through , just as [they]559-they start closing again . [I]2342-matt see [Jesse]327-jesse run to [[his]327-jesse car]2476-his car , bashing something on the dash board . The gates start opening again . [Wo]92-wo n’t [the man]2342-matt just give it a rest ? [I]2342-matt get [my]2342-matt phone out and dial a cab number as [I]2342-matt start walking down [the lane]298-the lane . The call connects and [I]2342-matt go to speak , but the wind is knocked clean out of [me]2342-matt when [I]2342-matt ’m grabbed around [my]2342-matt waist . ‘[2342-matt] What ! ’ [I]2342-matt scream as [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] hoisted from [my]2342-matt feet , spun around and tossed over [his]327-jesse shoulder . ‘ [You]327-jesse ’re[2342-matt] not wandering around on [your]327-jesse fucking own , [lady]65-ha . ’ [he]2342-matt grates , [his]2342-matt tone full of authority , making [me]65-ha feel younger , or [him]2342-matt older – [I]65-ha ’m[65-ha] not sure ‘ What ’s it got to do with [you]327-jesse ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt spit . [I]2342-matt ’m boiling mad and bobbing up and down as [he]2342-matt strides back to [[his]2342-matt car]2336-my car . ‘[2342-matt] Apparently , nothing , but [I]2342-matt do have a conscious . [You]563-you ’re not leaving [here]314-here unless it ’s in [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car . Do [you]563-you understand [me]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt places [me]2342-matt on [my]2342-matt feet , grasps [my]2342-matt elbow and guides [me]2342-matt into [[his]2342-matt car]2476-his car before slamming the door and getting into [[my]2342-matt Mini]2340-my mini to move it to the side of [the driveway]567-the driveway . [I]2342-matt smirk as [I]2342-matt watch [him]2342-matt yank the lever to slide the seat back as far as it will go , but even at its furthest away from the wheel , [he]2342-matt still struggles to cram [his]2342-matt tall , lean body in . [He]2342-matt looks pretty stupid . [I]2342-matt want to yell at [him]2342-matt some more when [he]2342-matt wheel spins and skids to a stop . [[My]2342-matt poor Mini]2340-my mini has never been so ill - treated . [He]2342-matt huffs [his]2342-matt way back and throws [himself]2342-matt in [his]2342-matt car , giving [me]2342-matt a ferocious scowl before [he]2342-matt starts [the car]548-the car and roars off . The journey [home]281-home is painfully silent and frighteningly fast . [The man]2342-matt is a menace on [the roads]570-the roads , and [I]2342-matt wish [he]2342-matt would at least put the radio on to rid [the car]548-the car of the awkward silence . [I]2342-matt begrudgingly admire the interior of [his]2342-matt DBS . [I]2342-matt ’m cradled in the seat , with acres of black , quilted leather surrounding [me]832-ava , as [I]832-ava stare out of the window the whole way [home]281-home . [I]832-ava feel [his]2342-matt eyes fixed on [me]832-ava every so often , but [I]832-ava ignore it . Instead , [I]832-ava concentrate on the guttural roar of the engine as it eats up [the road]2482-the road ahead . What has just happened ? [He]2342-matt pulls up outside [Kate]2557-kate ’s , after [I]832-ava direct [him]2342-matt in with short , sharp instructions , and [I]832-ava let [myself]832-ava out . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [I]832-ava hear [him]2342-matt call [me]832-ava , but [I]832-ava shut the car door and race up the path to [the house]308-the place , cursing out loud when [I]832-ava realise [he]2342-matt ’s got [my]832-ava bloody car keys . [I]832-ava turn to make [my]832-ava way back down [the path]2482-the road , but [I]832-ava hear the roar of [his]2342-matt engine burning off down [the road]2482-the road . [I]832-ava screw [my]832-ava face up in [my]832-ava own private disgust . [He]2342-matt ’s done that on purpose so [I]832-ava have to call [him]2342-matt . Well , [he]2342-matt ’ll be waiting a long time . [I]832-ava would rather go without [[my]832-ava car]2336-my car . [I]832-ava traipse back up [the path]2482-the road and bash on the door . ‘[832-ava] Where are [your]571-your keys ? ’ [Kate]2557-kate asks when [she]2557-kate answers the door . [I]832-ava think quickly . ‘[832-ava] [[My]2342-matt car]2336-my car ’s having some new brakes . [I]2342-matt forgot to remove [my]2342-matt house keys . ’ [She]2557-kate accepts [my]2342-matt excuse with no further questions . ‘[2342-matt] There ’s a spare door key in the pot by the kitchen window . ’ [She]2557-kate runs back up [the stairs]272-the stairs and [I]2342-matt follow , immediately opening a bottle of wine before rummaging through the fridge for something to eat . Nothing takes [my]2342-matt fancy . Wine will do . ‘[2342-matt] Yes , please . ’ [Kate]2557-kate comes breezing back into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . [She]2557-kate ’s already jimmy - jammed up , and [I]2342-matt ca n’t wait to join [her]2557-kate . [I]2342-matt pour [her]2557-kate a glass , while trying to morph [my]2342-matt face into anything other than the shocked expression that [I]2342-matt know is still visible . ‘[2342-matt] Good day ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . [She]2557-kate collapses into one of the mismatching chairs around the chunky , pine table . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt spent most of the day collecting cake stands . [You]573-you would think [people]372-people would be kind enough to return [them]372-people . ’ [She]2557-kate takes a sip of [her]2557-kate wine , gasping in appreciation . [I]573-you join [her]2557-kate at the table . ‘[573-you] [You]573-you need to start asking for a deposit . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt know . Hey , [I]2342-matt have a date tomorrow night . ’ ‘[2342-matt] With who ? ’ [I]410-this one ask , wondering if [this one]410-this one will make it past the first . ‘[410-this one] [A very yummy client]410-this one . [He]410-this one stopped by to collect a cake for [[his]410-this one niece]576-his niece ’s first birthday – a Jungle Junction cake . How sweet is that ? ’ ‘[410-this one] Very sweet , ’ [I]410-this one agree . ‘[410-this one] How did that come about ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt asked [him]410-this one . ’ [She]2557-kate shrugs . [I]2342-matt laugh . [Her]2557-kate confidence is charming . [She]2557-kate must hold the world record for first dates . The only long term relationship [she]2557-kate ’s ever had was with [[my]2342-matt brother]2486-my brother , but [we]2487-we do n’t talk about that . Since [they]2487-we split and [Dan]93-dan moved to [Australia]14-australia , [Kate]2557-kate has been on endless dates , [none of [them]2487-we]2488-none of them progressing past the first . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m going to get changed and give [[my]2342-matt Mum]577-mum a call , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt get up , taking [my]2342-matt wine with [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll meet [you]2557-kate on the sofa soon . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Cool , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt really need to speak to [[my]2342-matt Mum]577-mum . [Kate]2557-kate ’s [[my]2342-matt best friend]2557-kate , but [you]2557-kate ca n’t beat [[your]2557-kate Mother]577-mum when [you]2557-kate just want comfort . Not that [I]2342-matt can tell [her]2557-kate why [I]2342-matt need comforting . [She]2557-kate would be horrified . Once [I]2342-matt ’m changed into [my]832-ava baggy pants and a vest top , [I]832-ava flop onto [my]832-ava bed and dial [my]832-ava Mum . It rings once before [she]2557-kate answers . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [Her]2557-kate voice is shrill , but still soothing . ‘[577-mum] Hi , [Mum]577-mum . ’ ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava ? [Ava]832-ava ? [Joseph]95-joseph , [I]2342-matt ca n’t hear [her]2557-kate . Am [I]2342-matt doing it right ? [Ava]832-ava ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m here , [Mum]577-mum . Can [you]2342-matt hear [me]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Ava]832-ava ? [Joseph]95-joseph , it ’s broken . [I]2342-matt ca n’t hear anything . [Ava]832-ava ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hear [[my]2342-matt Dad]578-my dad ’s mumbled moans in the background before [he]578-my dad comes on the line . ‘ Hello ? ’[578-my dad] ‘ Hi , [Dad]581-dad , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt yell . ‘ [You]581-dad do n’t have to bloody shout ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ [She]832-ava could n’t hear [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] ‘ That ’s because [she]832-ava had the bloody thing upside down , [stupid woman]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hear [[my]2342-matt Mum]578-my dad laugh in the background , followed by a slapping sound that is , without doubt , [her]578-my dad walloping [[my]2342-matt Dad]578-my dad ’s shoulder . ‘ Is [she]578-my dad there ? Can [you]581-dad hear [her]578-my dad ? Give [me]578-my dad it here . ’[578-my dad] There ’s a little scuffle before [she]578-my dad ’s back on the line . ‘ [Ava]832-ava ? Are [you]832-ava there ? ’[578-my dad] ‘ Yes ! ’[2342-matt] Why did n’t [I]2342-matt just ring [the landline]579-the landline ? [She]578-my dad insisted [I]2342-matt ring [her]578-my dad new mobile so [she]578-my dad can get the hang of it , but good [God]68-god , [she]578-my dad ’s hard work . [She]578-my dad ’s only forty seven , but a complete techno - phobic . ‘ Ah . That ’s better , [I]578-my dad can hear [you]577-mum now . How are [you]577-mum ? ’[578-my dad] ‘ Good . [I]577-mum ’m[577-mum] good , [Mum]577-mum . [You]577-mum ? ’ ‘[577-mum] Yes , everything ’s fine . Guess what ? [We]580-we have exciting news , ’ [She]578-my dad does n’t give [me]580-we a chance to guess . ‘[580-we] [[Your]577-mum brother]578-my dad ’s coming [home]281-home to visit ! ’ [I]578-my dad sit up in excitement . [Dan]93-dan ’s coming [home]281-home ? [I]578-my dad ’ve not seen [[my]578-my dad brother]578-my dad for six months . [He]578-my dad ’s living the dream on [the Gold Coast]15-the gold coast as [a surf instructor]2489-a surf instructor and only comes [home]281-home once or twice a year . [We]583-we were so close . [Kate]2557-kate ’s going to freak out over this news , and not in a good way . ‘[578-my dad] When ? ’ [I]578-my dad demand . ‘[578-my dad] Next Sunday . Is n’t it exciting ? [I]2342-matt was only saying to [[your]577-mum Dad]578-my dad last week that [we]583-we should fly out to see [him]578-my dad , but [he]578-my dad wo n’t get on [a plane]584-a plane . [You]585-you know what [he]578-my dad ’s like . ’ [[My]585-you Dad]578-my dad ’s fear of flying is highly frustrating to [[my]585-you poor Mum]578-my dad , who has to endure a two day drive to [Spain]16-spain every year . ‘[585-you] Do [you]585-you know what [his]578-my dad plans are ? ’ [I]578-my dad press . ‘[578-my dad] [He]578-my dad ’s flying into [Heathrow]17-heathrow , coming straight down to [Cornwall]18-cornwall for the week to see [me]2342-matt and [Dad]581-dad , and then [he]578-my dad ’s making [his]578-my dad way back up to [London]5-london . Will [you]585-you come with [him]578-my dad ? [You]585-you ’ve not visited in weeks . ’ [I]585-you suddenly feel rotten . [I]585-you ’ve not seen [[my]585-you parents]2490-my parents for nearly eight weeks . ‘[585-you] [I]2342-matt ’ve been so busy at work , [Mum]577-mum . [I]2342-matt ’ve got the Lusso launch , it ’s hectic . [I]2342-matt ’ll try [my]2342-matt best , okay ? ’ ‘[78-darling] [I]2342-matt know , [darling]78-darling . How ’s [Kate]2557-kate ? ’ [she]2557-kate asks . [Mum]577-mum still loves [Kate]2557-kate . [She]2557-kate was as devastated as [I]2557-kate was when [she]2557-kate and [Dan]93-dan called it quits . ‘[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate ’s great . ’ ‘[2557-kate] Good . Have [you]78-darling heard from [Matt]2342-matt ? ’ [she]2557-kate asks tentatively . [I]2342-matt know [she]2557-kate ’s hoping it ’s a big resounding NO . [She]2557-kate was n’t as devastated when [Matt]2342-matt and [I]2342-matt split up . [He]2342-matt was n’t [[Mum]577-mum ’s favourite person]2491-mum ’s favourite person . Come to think of it , [Matt]2342-matt was n’t [many peoples favourite person]2492-many peoples favourite person . [We]2493-we ’ve talked since [we]2493-we split , but [Mum]577-mum does n’t need to know that . ‘[2342-matt] No , [I]2342-matt ’m just getting on with things . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt inform [her]2557-kate , hearing [her]2557-kate sigh in relief . [I]2342-matt wo n’t volunteer exactly what [I]2342-matt have been getting on with . [I]2342-matt ’m too ashamed of [myself]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Okay . [Joseph]95-joseph , get the door , will [you]95-joseph ? [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt ’ve got to go . [Sue]97-sue ’s here to pick [me]2342-matt up for yoga . ’ ‘[97-sue] Okay , [Mum]577-mum . [I]2342-matt ’ll ring next week . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Okay . Good luck for [your]95-joseph launch and have some fun ! ’ [she]577-mum orders . [I]577-mum know [she]577-mum thinks [I]577-mum ’ve wasted seven years on two worthwhile relationships . [She]577-mum ’s right . [I]577-mum have . ‘[577-mum] Bye , [Mum]577-mum . ’ [I]577-mum hang up . [Dan]93-dan ’s coming [home]281-home . Well , that ’s cheered [me]577-mum up a little . And [I]577-mum always feel better when [I]577-mum ’ve spoken to [[my]577-mum Mum]577-mum . [They]586-they ’re[577-mum] miles away and [I]2342-matt miss [them]586-they like crazy , but [I]2342-matt ’m comforted by the fact that [they]586-they ’ve escaped the rat race of [London]5-london , taking early retirement in [Newquay]19-newquay after [Dad]581-dad ’s heart attack scare . [My]2342-matt phone starts ringing and [I]2342-matt look at the screen , expecting to see [my]2342-matt Mothers number – [she]577-mum ’s probably forgot to lock the keypad and sat on it – but it ’s not . It ’s [Jesse Ward]327-jesse . Ughhhhhhhhh ! ‘[2342-matt] Reject . ’ [I]2342-matt huff as [I]2342-matt red button [him]581-dad and throw [my]2342-matt phone on [my]2342-matt bed . [I]2342-matt leave [[my]2342-matt bedroom]2495-my bedroom to go and join [Kate]2557-kate on the sofa , hearing it ring again as [I]2342-matt walk down [the hall]2496-the hall . [I]2342-matt ignore it . [The man]581-dad is relentless . At least [I]2342-matt do n’t have to see [him]581-dad again . [He]581-dad ’s given [me]2342-matt the perfect reason to flatly refuse designing anything for [him]581-dad . Chapter 6 ‘[2342-matt] Morning , ’ [I]2342-matt sing to [Tom]60-tom as [I]2342-matt sashay past [his]60-tom desk on Thursday . [He]60-tom looks up at [me]2342-matt over [his]60-tom thick framed spectacles – a blatant fashion statement and [Tom]60-tom ’s effort to be taken more seriously . [I]2342-matt should tell [him]60-tom to lose the canary yellow dress shirt and grey trousers that are verging on leggings . That would do the trick . ‘[2342-matt] Did [someone]587-someone get laid ? ’ [He]60-tom smirks . ‘[587-someone] Join [the club]588-the club , [I]2342-matt ’m exhausted ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ No ! [Tom]60-tom , [you]60-tom ’re[2342-matt] such a tart . ’ [I]2342-matt feign a disgusted look as [I]2342-matt throw [my]2342-matt bag down by [my]2342-matt desk . ‘[2342-matt] Anything to report ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask to divert the conversation from [Tom]60-tom ’s sexcapades . ‘[2342-matt] Nope , [I]2342-matt ’m just going over to [Mrs Baines]64-mrs baines to give [her]64-mrs baines a cuddle . [You]64-mrs baines know , [she]64-mrs baines rang [me]2342-matt at eleven last night to ask if [she]64-mrs baines could expect [the electricians]2497-the electricians in this morning . Interrupted [me]2342-matt right in the middle of … ’[2342-matt] ‘ Enough ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hold [my]2342-matt hands up . ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t want to know . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt sit down , swinging [my]2342-matt chair around to face [him]2342-matt . ‘ Apologies , [darling]2342-matt . It was really good though ! ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt winks . ‘ Anyway , [she]64-mrs baines ’s in a panic because [her]64-mrs baines summer ball is scheduled for July and [she]64-mrs baines wants all the works completed in time . There ’s not a hope , [darling]2342-matt ! If [she]64-mrs baines would just stop changing [her]64-mrs baines bloody mind , then [we]2498-we might get somewhere . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt springs up from [his]2342-matt chair and air kisses [me]2342-matt from ten feet away . ‘ Au Revoir , [darling]2342-matt ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ Bye . Oh , where ’s [Victoria]54-victoria ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout after [him]2342-matt . ‘ Appointments . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt calls , shutting the door behind [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt turn to face [my]2342-matt desk as [Sally]54-victoria places a coffee in front of [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt pick it up immediately , taking a sip while [she]54-victoria hovers at [my]2342-matt desk nervously . ‘ [Patrick]327-jesse called to remind [you]327-jesse that [he]327-jesse ’s not in today . ’[54-victoria] [she]54-victoria says . ‘ Thank [you]327-jesse , [Sally]54-victoria . Did [you]327-jesse have a good weekend ? ’[54-victoria] [She]54-victoria smiles , nodding enthusiastically as [she]54-victoria pushes [her]54-victoria glasses up [her]54-victoria nose . ‘ [I]54-victoria did , thank [you]327-jesse for asking . [I]54-victoria finished [my]54-victoria cross - stitch and cleaned all the windows , inside and out . It was wonderful . ’[54-victoria] [she]54-victoria says dreamily as [she]54-victoria scurries off to file some invoices . Cleaning windows ? Wonderful ? [The girl]54-victoria is sweet , but good [Lord]589-lord , [she]54-victoria ’s as dull as dish water . [I]2342-matt spend a few hours working through [my]2342-matt email to clear [my]2342-matt inbox . [I]2342-matt check the final clean - up of [Lusso]66-lusso is complete and grab [my]2342-matt phone when it starts dancing across [my]2342-matt desk . [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes when [I]2342-matt see who ’s illuminating [my]2342-matt screen . [He]590-he just will not give up . Yesterday was a relentless bombardment of calls – all of which [I]2342-matt rejected – and [he]590-he ’s still at it . [I]2342-matt ’ve got to speak to [the man]2342-matt eventually . [He]590-he has something that [I]2342-matt need … [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car . At one o’clock , [I]2342-matt leave [the office]279-the office to meet [Kate]2557-kate for lunch . ‘ Are there [any decent men left in [the world]516-the world]2499-any decent men left in the world ? ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate asks thoughtfully , dabbing [her]2557-kate mouth with a napkin . ‘ [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] losing the will to live . ’ ‘[2557-kate] It was n’t that bad , was it ? ’ [I]832-ava ask . [Her]2557-kate date yesterday evening was a failure . When [she]2557-kate walked into [the apartment]279-the office at nine thirty , [I]832-ava knew it could n’t be good news . [She]2557-kate drops [her]2557-kate napkin on [her]2557-kate empty plate , pushing it away . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , when [a man]340-a man gets a calculator out at the end of a meal to work out what [you]595-you owe , it ’s usually not a good sign . ’ [I]832-ava laugh . No , this is not a good sign ; it ’s equality gone mad . [The modern man]340-a man needs to catch on to the fact that [women]348-women want to be treated as equals , but only when it suits [us]2502-we . [The modern woman]832-ava ’s fierce need for independence does n’t mean [we]2502-we want to pay for [our]2502-we half of a meal , or that [we]2502-we do n’t want [a man]340-a man to hold a door open for [us]2502-we . [We]2502-we still want to be looked after , but on [our]2502-we terms . ‘[832-ava] So , [you]595-you wo n’t be seeing [him]340-a man again ? ’ [She]832-ava scoffs . ‘[832-ava] No , the bill saga was bad enough . When [he]340-a man dropped [me]2342-matt [home]281-home in [the taxi]597-the taxi and accepted the twenty [I]2342-matt offered [him]340-a man , it finished [me]2342-matt off . ’ ‘[595-you] [You]595-you were a cheap date . ’ [I]595-you giggle . ‘[595-you] Yeah . ’ [She]832-ava picks up [her]832-ava phone and starts tapping away at the screen , holding it up to show [me]595-you . ‘[595-you] One BLT and [two waters]598-two waters , [you]595-you owe twelve quid . ’ [We]2503-we both have a little laugh at [Kate]2557-kate ’s failed date . [I]595-you love that [she]2557-kate can be so lighthearted about it . [Kate]2557-kate maintains that it will happen when it happens . [I]595-you ’m[595-you] with [her]599-her on this . ‘ When will [[your]595-you car]2324-your car be ready ? ’[599-her] [she]599-her asks . [Crap]98-crap ! [She]599-her ’s supposed to be borrowing it to visit [her]599-her Nan in [Yorkshire]20-yorkshire on Saturday , and it ’s Thursday already . [I]2342-matt need to sort this out . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll give [the garage]2505-the garage a ring later . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt assure [her]599-her . ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t mind taking [the van]600-the van . ’[2342-matt] ‘ No , it ’s fine . [I]599-her do n’t think [Margo]1052-margo will get [you]600-the van there . ’[599-her] [She]599-her ’s [a twenty year old , hot pink VW camper van that spits and fires all over [London]5-london on cake deliveries]600-the van . [Kate]2557-kate ’s carbon footprint must be huge . [My]2342-matt phone shouts and [Kate]2557-kate leans over to see who ’s calling [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt whip it off the table , far too hastily . But it ’s too late . [I]2342-matt look at [her]2557-kate nervously as [I]2342-matt red button [him]600-the van again , before placing it back on the table as casually as [I]2342-matt can . [My]2342-matt jumpy reaction does n’t get past [Kate]2557-kate . Not much does . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse , ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate says with an arched brow . ‘ What would [he]600-the van want ? ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt ’ve not shared any of the hideous events of Tuesday with [Kate]2557-kate . [I]2342-matt ’m too ashamed . [I]2342-matt shrug . ‘[2342-matt] Who knows ? ’ ‘[2557-kate] Have there been any more suggestive texts ? ’ Oh , more than texts . There have been endless phone calls and the fact that [he]600-the van tricked [me]2342-matt into going back to [The Manor]2356-the manor on the pretense that [I]2342-matt was designing , only to have [me]2342-matt trapped in one of [[his]600-the van hotel suites]2507-his hotel suites so [he]600-the van could seduce [me]2342-matt . [Kate]2557-kate would thrive on [my]2342-matt misfortune , which is exactly why [I]2342-matt ’ve not told [her]2557-kate . If [I]2342-matt do n’t hear the words out loud , then [I]2342-matt can almost pretend it did n’t happen … almost . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] [a fool]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’ve thought of little else , and [he]2342-matt ’s not helping [me]2342-matt in [my]2342-matt attempt to eradicate [him]2342-matt from [my]2342-matt mind with all [his]2342-matt calls . [I]2342-matt do n’t need to be getting involved with [anyone]2475-anyone , especially [someone who ’s already involved with someone else]603-someone who ’s already involved with someone else . Besides , [I]2342-matt ’m just a mission for [him]2342-matt to accomplish . [The man]2342-matt ’s [a playboy]2508-a playboy and not the sort of man [I]2342-matt need to be getting involved with . [He]2342-matt quite obviously has commitment issues . [I]2342-matt do n’t like [Sarah]54-victoria , but [I]2342-matt do feel sorry for [her]54-victoria . ‘[2342-matt] No . ’ [I]2342-matt answer on a sigh . [She]54-victoria looks at [me]2342-matt questioningly , making [me]2342-matt feel like [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] under examination . [I]2342-matt am . [I]2342-matt ’m twiddling [my]604-i hair . [I]604-i release it on a huff . ‘[604-i] [You]604-i deserve some fun . ’ [she]54-victoria says thoughtfully . Fun ? [I]604-i do n’t call getting tied up with [an involved man]2509-an involved man fun by any stretch of the imagination . [I]604-i call it stupid ! ‘[604-i] After [Matt]2342-matt , [you]2342-matt definitely deserve some fun . ’ [I]604-i ’m[604-i] keen not to get into a conversation about [Matt]2342-matt . [Kate]2557-kate does n’t know that [he]2342-matt still calls [me]2342-matt now and then . [I]2342-matt do n’t know why [he]2342-matt does . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ve got to get back to work , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt lean over , giving [Kate]2557-kate a peck on the cheek . ‘ Luv [ya]2510-ya . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yeah , ditto . [I]2557-kate ’ll be late tonight . There ’s a cake convention at [The Hilton]2511-the hilton . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate gets up , waving [me]2342-matt away when [I]2342-matt try to give [her]2557-kate some money for lunch . ‘ It ’s [my]2342-matt turn . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt put [my]2342-matt money back in [my]2342-matt purse . ‘ Okay , but it ’s [my]2342-matt shout next time . ’[2342-matt] [We]605-we leave [each other]606-each other outside [the bar]361-the bar , [Kate]2557-kate heading back to [[her]2557-kate workshop]2322-her workshop , [me]2342-matt back to [the office]279-the office . * * * [I]2342-matt collapse onto the sofa when [I]2342-matt get [home]281-home . [I]2342-matt need an early night . Tomorrow will be a long day at [Lusso]66-lusso and [I]2342-matt need to be on form . [My]2342-matt phone rings . [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes as [I]2342-matt look at the screen , but it ’s not who [I]2342-matt expected it to be . It ’s [Matt]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt groan to [myself]2342-matt . When will [my]2342-matt phone ring and it be someone that [I]2342-matt actually want to speak to ? ‘ Hi , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt all but groan . ‘ All right ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt greets , with [his]2342-matt usual confident tone . ‘ Yeah , and [you]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt know [he]2342-matt ’s fine . [I]2342-matt ’ve heard [he]2342-matt ’s out almost every night , catching up on lost time . Not that [our]611-our relationship prevented [him]2342-matt from living exactly how [he]2342-matt wanted to anyway . ‘ All good . [I]2342-matt was ringing to wish [you]2342-matt luck for tomorrow . It ’s tomorrow , right ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m surprised [he]2342-matt remembered . [He]2342-matt never really took an interest in [my]2342-matt career . ‘[2342-matt] Yeah , thanks . [I]2342-matt was just thinking about getting an early night . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Oh , okay , [I]2342-matt wo n’t keep [you]2342-matt then , ’ [He]2342-matt sounds disappointed . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve boxed up the rest of [your]2342-matt things . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Oh , right , ’ ‘[2342-matt] There ’s no rush , ’ [he]2342-matt adds . ‘[2342-matt] If [you]2342-matt ’re free sometime , it would be nice to catch up . ’[2342-matt] It would ? Catch up on what ? How many women [he]2342-matt ’s slept with since [I]2342-matt left ? It ’s nice that [we]611-our ’re still on talking terms , [I]2342-matt did spend four years with [the guy]2342-matt , but [he]2342-matt ’s taking the whole “ let ’s be [friends]2512-friends ” role a bit too far , treating [me]2342-matt like one of [[his]2342-matt mates]2513-his mates and filling [me]2342-matt in on all of [his]2342-matt latest conquests . [I]2342-matt do n’t care , but [I]2342-matt also do n’t want to hear about it . ‘[2342-matt] Sure , [I]2342-matt ’ll ring [you]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt suggest . ‘[2342-matt] Make sure [you]2342-matt do , [I]2342-matt miss [you]2342-matt . ’ WHOA ! Where did that come from ? Is [he]612-the friend drunk ? ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt do ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . The shock in [my]2342-matt voice is quite clear . [He]612-the friend laughs . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do . Good luck tomorrow . ’ [I]2342-matt hang up and sit wondering if it ’s time to collect [my]2342-matt things and sever all ties . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not so sure [the friend]612-the friend ’s scenario is going to work with [us]613-us . Does it ever work ? [My]2342-matt phone rings again , but it ’s a number that [I]2342-matt do n’t recognise . ‘ [Ava O’Shea]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt announce down the line , but there ’s no reply . ‘ Hello ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Are [you]832-ava alone ? ’[2342-matt] The voice hits [me]2342-matt like a sledgehammer to the gut . Oh , fucking hell . [I]2342-matt stand up and sit back down again . Visions of [him]612-the friend stood half naked before [me]2342-matt , pleading to [me]2342-matt with [his]612-the friend eyes , start to assault [my]2342-matt mind ’s eye . This is exactly why [I]2342-matt ’ve been avoiding [his]612-the friend calls . The affect [he]612-the friend has on [me]2342-matt is unsettling and most unwelcome . Why did n’t [his]612-the friend name come up on [my]2342-matt phone ? ‘ No . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt lie , a sweat breaking out across [my]2342-matt brow . [I]2342-matt hear [him]612-the friend sigh . It ’s a loud sigh . ‘ Why are [you]612-the friend lying to [me]612-the friend ? ’[612-the friend] [I]2342-matt jump back up from the sofa . How does [he]612-the friend know ? Darting across [the lounge]614-the lounge , [my]2342-matt wine swishing out of [my]2342-matt glass , [I]2342-matt look out of the window to [the road]2482-the road , but [I]2342-matt ca n’t see [[his]612-the friend car]2476-his car . How does [he]612-the friend know [I]2342-matt ’m alone ? In a panic and with a lump in [my]612-the friend throat , [I]612-the friend hang up . It rings again immediately . [I]612-the friend chuck [my]612-the friend phone onto the couch and let it ring off . And then it rings again . ‘[612-the friend] Go away ! ’ [I]2342-matt pace [the lounge]614-the lounge , biting [my]2342-matt nails and swigging [my]2342-matt wine . Tuesday ’s events flood back into [my]2342-matt mind , but not the bad stuff . Oh , no … it ’s all the bloody good stuff . How [he]612-the friend made [me]2342-matt feel , how [his]612-the friend hands felt on [me]2342-matt . Everything before [I]2342-matt heard the shrill , cold voice of [[his]2342-matt girlfriend]2455-his girlfriend . [I]2342-matt slam a lid on [my]2342-matt thoughts immediately . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] a pawn in [his]2342-matt sexual exploits , and [he]2342-matt ’s probably feeling hard done by after [I]2342-matt pulled the plug on [his]2342-matt charade . [My]2342-matt phone declares a text message . [I]2342-matt creep cautiously towards the sofa , like [my]2342-matt phone might launch itself upwards and bite [me]2342-matt . For [God]68-god ’s sake , [I]2342-matt ’m being pathetic . [I]2342-matt grab [my]2342-matt phone and open the text . Answer [your]2342-matt phone ! It rings again in [my]2342-matt hand , making [me]2342-matt jump , even though [I]2342-matt completely expected it . [He]2342-matt ’s relentless . [I]2342-matt let it ring off again and , quite childishly , text back , No [I]2342-matt pace some more , up and down , swigging wine and clutching [my]2342-matt phone . It ’s not long before another text arrives . Fine , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] coming in . ‘ What ? Oh no ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout at [my]2342-matt phone . It is one thing ignoring the phone , but it ’s a whole other level of resistance trying to repel [him]2342-matt when [he]2342-matt ’s flesh and blood and looking right at [me]2342-matt . Shit , shit , shit ! [I]2342-matt frantically pull up [my]2342-matt call log to call [him]2342-matt . It rings once . ‘ Too late , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt drawls down the line . [I]2342-matt stare at [my]2342-matt phone in uncertainty , and then the banging starts . [I]2342-matt run onto the landing , leaning over the banister as [he]2342-matt hammers on the door . ‘ Open the door , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt bangs again . What ’s [he]2342-matt thinking ? Is [he]2342-matt that desperate ? Bang , bang , bang ! ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not going anywhere until [you]617-you talk to [me]2342-matt , please . ’ Bang , bang , bang ! ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve got [your]617-you keys , [Ava]832-ava . [I]2342-matt ’ll let [myself]2342-matt in . ’ Oh shit . [He]2342-matt would as well . Okay , [I]2342-matt ’ll let [him]2342-matt in , listen to what [he]2342-matt has to say , and then [he]2342-matt can leave . Anyway , [I]2342-matt need [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car back . [I]2342-matt ’ll just have to keep as far away from [him]2342-matt as possible , keep [my]2342-matt eyes closed and hold [my]2342-matt breath so [I]2342-matt ca n’t smell [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt must not let [him]2342-matt breach [my]2342-matt defences . [I]2342-matt put [my]2342-matt glass down on the console table at the top of [the stairs]272-the stairs and look at [myself]2342-matt in the mirror . [My]2342-matt hairs piled up on top of [my]2342-matt head , but at least [I]2342-matt have n’t taken [my]2342-matt make up off yet . It could be worse . Wait … why am [I]2342-matt worried , anyway ? The worse [I]2342-matt look the better , surely ? [He]327-jesse needs telling to back off . [Bang]100-bang , bang , bang ! [I]2342-matt storm down [the stairs]272-the stairs in confident and determined strides , opening the door in a huff . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] doomed . [I]2342-matt keep underestimating – or forgetting – the affect [this man]327-jesse has on [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m trembling already . [His]327-jesse hands are braced on the door frame as [he]327-jesse looks up at [me]2342-matt through hooded lids , panting and looking really quite pissed . [His]327-jesse blonde hair is all disheveled , [he]327-jesse has [his]327-jesse stubble back and [his]327-jesse pale pink shirt is undone at the collar , tucked into grey trousers . [He]327-jesse looks delicious . [He]327-jesse punches holes into [me]2342-matt with [his]327-jesse sludgy eyes . ‘[2342-matt] Why did [you]327-jesse stop it ? ’ [His]327-jesse breathing is laboured . ‘[327-jesse] What ? ’ [I]327-jesse ask impatiently . [He]327-jesse ’s here to ask [me]327-jesse that ? Is n’t it obvious ? [He]327-jesse grits [his]327-jesse teeth . ‘[327-jesse] Why did [you]327-jesse run out on [me]2342-matt ? ’ ‘[327-jesse] Because it was a mistake , ’ [I]327-jesse grate , through equally gritted teeth . [My]327-jesse irritation at [his]327-jesse audacity is overpowering the other more unwelcome affect [he]327-jesse ’s having on [me]327-jesse . ‘[327-jesse] It was n’t a mistake , and [you]327-jesse know it , ’ [he]327-jesse grinds . ‘[327-jesse] The only mistake was [me]2342-matt letting [you]327-jesse go . ’ What ? Oh , [I]327-jesse ca n’t do this . [I]327-jesse go to push the door shut , but [his]327-jesse hand slams against the other side to stop it . ‘[327-jesse] Oh , no [you]327-jesse do n’t . ’ [He]327-jesse pushes against [me]327-jesse , easily overpowering [me]327-jesse , and steps into [the hallway]2517-the hallway , slamming the door behind [him]327-jesse . ‘[327-jesse] [You]327-jesse ’re not running this time . [You]327-jesse ’ve done it to [me]327-jesse twice already , not again . [You]327-jesse ’re[327-jesse] going to face the music . ’ With bare feet , [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] almost a foot shorter than [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt feel small and weak as [he]327-jesse towers over [me]2342-matt , still breathing hard . [I]2342-matt back away , but [he]327-jesse walks forward , keeping the distance between [us]620-us minimal . [My]2342-matt plan to maintain space is failing fast , and [he]327-jesse smells divine in all [his]327-jesse minty , fresh water magnificence . ‘ [You]327-jesse need to leave . [Kate]2557-kate will be [home]281-home in a minute . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse stops [his]327-jesse approach , scowling at [me]2342-matt . ‘ Stop lying , ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse snaps , slapping [my]2342-matt hand away from [my]2342-matt hair . ‘ Quit the bullshit , [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt have no idea what to say to [him]327-jesse . Defence is n’t working – maybe disinterest . [He]327-jesse ’s incredibly thick skinned and obviously use to getting what [he]327-jesse wants . [I]2342-matt turn away to walk back up [the stairs]272-the stairs . ‘ Why are [you]2519-you [here]314-here ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask , but before [I]2342-matt make it very far , [he]327-jesse ’s behind [me]2342-matt and grabbing at [my]2342-matt wrist . [I]2342-matt ’m spun around to face [him]327-jesse , the contact putting [me]2342-matt on instant red alert . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] on dangerous ground here . Just being near [this man]327-jesse turns [me]2342-matt into [a reckless , irrational fool]622-a reckless , irrational fool . This is plain kamikaze territory . Why did [I]2342-matt let [him]327-jesse in ? ‘ [You]327-jesse know why . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse spits . ‘ Do [I]327-jesse ? ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt ask incredulously . [I]2342-matt do , actually . Well , [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt do . [He]327-jesse wants to pick up where [we]623-we left off . [He]327-jesse wants mission accomplished . ‘ Yes , [you]327-jesse do . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse says simply . [I]2342-matt yank [my]2342-matt wrist from [his]327-jesse grip , backing up until [my]2342-matt butt hits the wall behind [me]2342-matt . ‘ Because [you]327-jesse want to hear how loud [I]2342-matt ’ll scream ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ No ! ’[327-jesse] ‘ [You]327-jesse are , undeniably , the most arrogant arsehole [I]72-jesus ’ve ever met . [I]72-jesus ’m[72-jesus] not interested in becoming a sexual conquest . ’ ‘[327-jesse] Conquest ? ’ [he]327-jesse snorts , turning away and commencing pointless pacing . ‘[327-jesse] What fucking planet are [you]624-you on , [woman]72-jesus ? ’ [I]72-jesus stand there in utter shock . How dare [he]327-jesse come here and start shouting the odds at [me]72-jesus . [I]72-jesus feel [my]72-jesus unease disappear and [my]72-jesus earlier irritation convert into boiling rage . The urgent need to defend [myself]72-jesus , to put [him]327-jesse straight , has [my]72-jesus jaw clenched to aching point . [His]327-jesse opinion of [me]72-jesus is very low if [he]327-jesse thinks [I]72-jesus ’ll just jump into bed with [any man [I]72-jesus meet]2521-any man i meet . But then , [I]72-jesus do n’t have to answer to [him]327-jesse . The fact that [he]327-jesse has [a girlfriend]2411-a girlfriend is immaterial at this point . [He]327-jesse thinks [he]327-jesse can just take what [he]327-jesse wants or throw a wobbly if [he]327-jesse meets some resistance . ‘[72-jesus] Get out ! ’ [He]327-jesse stops pacing and looks at [me]72-jesus . ‘[72-jesus] No ! ’ [he]327-jesse yells , recommencing [his]327-jesse marching . [I]72-jesus start thinking of how to get [him]626-him out of [the house]308-the place . [I]72-jesus ’m[72-jesus] never going to be able to manhandle [him]626-him and touching [him]626-him would be a massive mistake . ‘ [I]72-jesus ’m[72-jesus] not fucking interested ! Now , get out . ’ [My]72-jesus shaky voice lets down [my]72-jesus cool front , but [I]72-jesus stand firm . ‘[72-jesus] Watch [your]627-me fucking mouth ! ’ Oh , the cheek . ‘[72-jesus] Get out ! ’ ‘[72-jesus] Okay , ’ [he]327-jesse says simply , quitting the marching to hammer [me]72-jesus with [his]327-jesse stare . ‘[72-jesus] Look [me]2342-matt in the eyes and tell [me]2342-matt [you]627-me do n’t want to see [me]2342-matt again , and [I]2342-matt ’ll go . [You]627-me ’ll never have to lay eyes on [me]2342-matt again . ’ Okay , that should be relatively easy , but to [my]627-me utter shock , the thought of not seeing [him]626-him again actually sends a nasty ache to [my]627-me stomach , which is , of course , completely ridiculous . [He]626-him ’s [a virtual stranger to [me]627-me]2524-a virtual stranger to me , but [God]68-god does [he]628-his spark a reaction in [me]627-me . [He]628-his makes [me]627-me feel ... [I]627-me ’m[627-me] not sure exactly what it is . But even now , when [I]2342-matt ’m raging at [his]628-his damn nerve , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] fighting to control the unwanted reactions [he]628-his sparks in [me]2342-matt . When [I]2342-matt say nothing , [he]628-his starts advancing towards [me]2342-matt , [his]628-his long , even strides having [him]628-his directly in front of [me]2342-matt in just a few paces . There ’s barely an inch between [us]629-our . ‘ Say it . ’[628-his] [he]628-his breathes . [I]2342-matt ca n’t get [my]2342-matt mouth to function . [I]2342-matt ’m aware of [my]2342-matt shallow breathing , pounding heart and a dull throb in [my]2342-matt groin . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] alert to similar reactions emanating from [him]628-his . [I]2342-matt can see [his]628-his heart hammering under [his]628-his pale pink shirt . [I]2342-matt can feel [his]628-his heavy , minty breath on [my]2342-matt face . [I]2342-matt ca n’t vouch for the throb , but [I]2342-matt suspect it ’s there . The sexual tension ricocheting between [our]629-our close bodies is tangible . ‘ [You]2525-you ca n’t , can [you]2525-you ? ’[628-his] [he]628-his whispers . [I]2342-matt ca n’t ! [I]2342-matt ’m trying . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] trying really hard , but the bloody words wo n’t come out . The proximity of [our]629-our bodies and [him]628-his breathing on [me]2342-matt is re - establishing all of those incredible feelings . [I]2342-matt ’ve been catapulted back to [our]629-our previous encounter , except this time there ’s no risk of being interrupted by unfriendly girlfriends . Nothing to stop [me]2342-matt , apart from [my]2342-matt conscience , but that ’s drowning in desire right now , so it ’s of no help to [me]2342-matt , whatsoever . [He]628-his places the tip of [his]628-his finger on [my]2342-matt shoulder , [his]628-his touch sending an inferno racing through [me]2342-matt , and slowly , lightly , [he]628-his drags [his]628-his finger up the column of [my]2342-matt neck until it rests at the sensitive pressure point under [my]2342-matt ear . [My]2342-matt heart goes into overdrive . ‘ Boom … boom … boom , ’[628-his] [he]628-his breathes . ‘ [I]628-his can feel it , [Ava]832-ava . ’[628-his] [I]2342-matt go rigid , pushing [myself]2342-matt further into the wall . ‘ Please , leave . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt barely get the words out . ‘ Put [your]2342-matt hand over [my]628-his heart . ’[628-his] [he]628-his whispers , grabbing [my]2342-matt hand and placing it on [his]628-his chest . [He]628-his need n’t have done that . [I]2342-matt can see [his]628-his heart going ten to the dozen under [his]628-his shirt . [I]2342-matt did n’t need to feel it . ‘ What ’s [your]2342-matt point ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask quietly . [I]2342-matt know exactly what [his]628-his point is . [He]628-his ’s just as affected by [me]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt am by [him]628-his . ‘ [You]2342-matt are [one stubborn woman]2342-matt . Let [me]628-his ask [you]2342-matt the same question . ’[628-his] ‘ What do [you]2342-matt mean ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask quietly , still not looking at [him]628-his . ‘ [I]2342-matt mean , why are [you]2342-matt trying to stop the inevitable ? What ’s [your]2342-matt point , [Ava]832-ava ? ’[2342-matt] Wrapping [his]628-his fingers around [my]2342-matt neck , [he]628-his tilts [my]2342-matt face up so [I]2342-matt meet [his]628-his eyes . [I]2342-matt ’m immediately consumed by [them]2526-them . [His]628-his lips are parted and moist , [his]628-his minty breath invading [my]2342-matt nose , [his]628-his blazing eyes staring down at [me]2342-matt . [His]628-his long lashes are fanning [his]628-his cheek bones as [he]628-his leans down so [his]628-his lips brush [my]2342-matt ear . [I]2342-matt release a quiet gasp . ‘[2342-matt] There it is , ’ [he]628-his murmurs as [he]628-his trails feathery light kisses down the side of [my]630-he throat . ‘[630-he] [You]630-he feel it . ’ [I]630-he do . [I]630-he ’m[630-he] incapable of stopping this . Any rational thinking has been besieged . [I]2342-matt ’m completely immobilised . [My]2342-matt brain has shut down and [my]2342-matt body is taking over . As [his]628-his mouth works its way across [my]2342-matt jaw , [I]2342-matt reside [myself]2342-matt to the fact that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] lost – to [him]630-he , [I]2342-matt am lost . But then [I]2342-matt hear the sound of a mobile phone ringing . It ’s not [mine]2342-matt , but the interruption is enough to snap [me]2342-matt out of the trance [he]630-he sends [me]2342-matt into . Oh God , it ’s probably [Sarah]54-victoria . [I]2342-matt raise [my]2342-matt hands to [his]630-he firm chest and shove [him]630-he away . ‘ Stop , please ! ’[630-he] [He]630-he pulls away , yanking [his]630-he phone from [his]630-he pocket . ‘ Fuck ! ’[630-he] [He]630-he rejects the call and looks at [me]2342-matt . ‘ [You]630-he still have n’t said it . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m staggered at [my]2342-matt inability to utter some very simple words . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not interested . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt whisper . [I]2342-matt sound desperate , and [I]2342-matt know it . ‘ [You]630-he have to stop this . Whatever [you]630-he think [you]630-he felt , what [you]630-he think [I]2342-matt felt , [you]630-he ’re[2342-matt] mistaken . ’ [I]2342-matt do n’t mention [Sarah]54-victoria because that would be admitting that [I]2342-matt can feel something , that [she]54-victoria ’s the only reason [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] stopping this . It ’s not , of course . There ’s the obvious age gap , the fact that [he]630-he has heartbreaker written all over [him]630-he , and the even more important part … [he]630-he ’s [a cheater]631-a cheater . [He]630-he laughs a proper amused laugh . ‘ Think ? [Ava]832-ava , do n’t [you]832-ava dare try and pass this off as a figment of [my]630-he imagination . Did [I]630-he imagine that ? Just then , was that [my]630-he imagination ? Give [me]630-he some credit . ’[630-he] ‘ [You]832-ava give [me]630-he some fucking credit ! ’[630-he] ‘ Mouth ! ’[630-he] [he]630-he shouts . ‘ [I]2342-matt told [you]832-ava to leave . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say calmly . ‘ And [I]630-he told [you]832-ava , look [me]630-he in the eyes and tell [me]630-he [you]832-ava do n’t want [me]630-he . ’[630-he] [He]630-he stares at [me]2342-matt expectantly , like [he]630-he knows [I]2342-matt ca n’t say it . ‘ [I]630-he do n’t want [you]832-ava . ’[630-he] [I]2342-matt murmur , looking straight into [his]630-he green pools . It actually causes [me]2342-matt physical pain . [I]2342-matt ’m shocked . [He]630-he inhales sharply , looking wounded . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t believe [you]2342-matt . ’ [he]630-he says softly , flicking [his]630-he eyes to [my]2342-matt twiddling fingers . [I]2342-matt remove them instantly . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt should . ’ [I]2342-matt define the words clearly , and it takes every bit of strength [I]2342-matt have . [We]2527-we stare at [each other]606-each other for what seems like an eternity , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] the first to look away . [I]2342-matt can think of nothing more to say , and [I]2342-matt silently implore [him]630-he to leave before [I]2342-matt take the dangerous path [I]2342-matt know [he]630-he ’ll be . [He]630-he runs [his]630-he hands through [his]630-he hair in frustration , curses and stalks out . When the front door slams behind [him]630-he , [I]2342-matt allow air to rush into [my]2342-matt lungs as [I]2342-matt sag against the wall . That was , irrefutably , the most difficult thing [I]2342-matt ’ve ever done , which is crazy , because by reason , it should have been the easiest . [I]2342-matt ca n’t even begin to understand the why s and wherefores of it . [His]630-he wounded expression when [I]2342-matt conformed to [his]630-he demands to deny that [I]2342-matt wanted [him]630-he had nearly crippled [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt wanted to scream , “ [I]2342-matt felt it too ! ” but where would that have got [me]2342-matt ? [I]2342-matt know exactly where – against the wall with [Jesse]327-jesse buried deep inside [me]2342-matt . And while the thought of that makes [me]2342-matt shiver with pleasure , it would be a gargantuan mistake . [I]2342-matt feel riddled with guilt already at [my]2342-matt deplorable behavior . [The man]327-jesse is a cheating arse . An Adonis to boot , but a cheating arse , nonetheless . Everything about [this man]327-jesse screams trouble . And [he]327-jesse ’s still got [my]2342-matt fucking keys . [I]2342-matt shudder and head for a shower , content that [I]2342-matt ’ve done the right thing . [I]2342-matt ’ve put [Jesse Ward]327-jesse in [[his]327-jesse place]327-jesse and saved [myself]2342-matt another boat load of guilt . [I]2342-matt shall ignore the painful ache in [my]2342-matt gut because acknowledging it would be as good as admitting out loud , to [myself]2342-matt and [Jesse]327-jesse , that … yes , [I]2342-matt felt it too . Chapter 7 [I]2342-matt ’m wide awake and [my]2342-matt alarm has n’t even gone off yet . On a long , drawn out sigh , [I]2342-matt drag [myself]2342-matt out of bed and head for [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom to take a shower . [I]2342-matt ’ve got a busy day at [Lusso]66-lusso ahead of [me]2342-matt so [I]2342-matt may as well get started . [I]2342-matt ’ve not slept for shit , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] completely ignoring the reason why . [I]2342-matt ’m going to be on [my]2342-matt feet all day , traipsing around [the complex]2530-the complex ensuring everything is just right , so [I]2342-matt chuck on some baggy ripped jeans – [I]2342-matt ca n’t bear to throw them away – a white burnt out t - shirt and [my]2342-matt flip flops . [I]2342-matt scrape [my]2342-matt hair into a loose , messy up - do and pray it behaves later when [I]2342-matt pin it up for the evening . [I]2342-matt doubt [I]2342-matt ’ll have time to come [home]281-home and shower , so [I]2342-matt get [my]2342-matt mini suitcase and load it with everything [I]2342-matt ’ll need to shower at [Lusso]66-lusso later . [I]2342-matt retrieve a suit bag and put [my]2342-matt knee length , cherry red pencil dress in , smoothing it neatly and quietly hoping it does n’t crease . Lastly , [I]2342-matt grab black suede heels , [my]2342-matt black onyx studs and check [my]2342-matt work case is loaded with everything [I]2342-matt ’ll need at [Lusso]66-lusso . It ’s going to be a ball ache lugging it all on the tube , but [I]2342-matt have little other option with [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car still being kept captive by [a certain hot headed , arrogant male]2533-a certain hot headed , arrogant male . [Kate]2557-kate might well be taking [Margo]1052-margo to [Yorkshire]20-yorkshire . As [I]2342-matt walk down [the stairs]272-the stairs , [I]2342-matt see [my]2342-matt car keys lying on the door mat . So , [the man]2342-matt ’s seen sense and freed [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car . Does this mean [he]2342-matt ’s also seen sense and given up pursuing [me]2342-matt ? Has [he]2342-matt got the message ? Perhaps [he]2342-matt has , because there have been no calls or texts since [he]2342-matt steamed out last night . Am [I]2342-matt disappointed ? [I]2342-matt do n’t have time to consider this . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m off , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout through to [Kate]2557-kate . ‘ [[My]2557-kate car]2336-my car ’s back . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate pokes [her]2557-kate head around the door of [[her]2557-kate workshop]2322-her workshop . ‘ Great , good luck . [I]2557-kate ’ll be there later to drink all the expensive champagne . ’[2557-kate] ‘ Oh , yes . See [you]2557-kate later . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt run down [the path]2482-the road , halting when [I]2342-matt see a cheap mobile phone smashed to pieces in the middle of the pavement . [I]2342-matt know where that ’s come from . [I]2342-matt kick it into the gutter and continue to [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car . Oh , it ’s good to have [her]2557-kate back . [I]2342-matt load [my]2342-matt things into the boot and jump into the driver seat , only to find [myself]2342-matt miles away from the steering wheel . Laughing , [I]2342-matt shift the seat forward so [my]2342-matt feet reach the pedals . [I]2342-matt start [her]2557-kate up and jump out of [my]2342-matt skin when the stereo blasts Blur around [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car . [Christ]72-jesus , is [his]72-jesus lack of hearing an indication to [his]72-jesus age ? [I]2342-matt turn it down , faltering when the words of the track register . It ’s [Country house]636-country house . [I]2342-matt fight the small part of [me]2342-matt that wants to laugh at [his]72-jesus little joke and remove the disc from the stereo . [I]2342-matt do n’t think [I]2342-matt ’ve ever come across [anyone]2475-anyone so conceited in all [my]2342-matt life . [I]2342-matt replace the unwanted CD with a Ministry of Sound Chill out Session and head for [St Katharine Docks]6-st katharine docks . When [I]2342-matt pull up outside [Lusso]66-lusso , [I]2342-matt present [my]2342-matt face to the camera and the gates open immediately . [I]2342-matt park up and see [the caterers]638-the caterers unloading crockery and glasses as [I]2342-matt get [my]2342-matt work case from the boot and head into [the building]308-the place . [I]2342-matt ’ve been [here]314-here a million times , but [I]2342-matt ’m still completely stunned by the pure extravagance of [the place]308-the place . As [I]101-clive walk into [the foyer]2536-the foyer , [I]101-clive see [Clive]101-clive , one of [the concierges]2537-the concierges , playing with the new computer equipment . [He]101-clive ’s part of [a team who ’ll provide a six star hotel - style service]2538-a team who ’ll provide a six star hotel - style service , organising anything from [grocery shopping and theatre tickets]2539-grocery shopping and theatre tickets , to helicopter charters and dinner reservations . [I]101-clive cross the marble floor , which has been polished to within an inch of its life , and head towards [Clive]101-clive ’s huge , curved concierge desk . [I]101-clive spot dozens of black vases and hundreds of Italian red roses , placed carefully to the side . At least [I]101-clive wo n’t have to chase the delivery of those . ‘[101-clive] Good morning , [Clive]101-clive . ’ [I]832-ava say , approaching [his]101-clive desk . [He]101-clive looks up from one of the screens , the panic on [his]101-clive friendly face clear . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt ’ve read this manual four times in a week and [I]2342-matt ’m still clueless . [We]2540-we never had anything like this at [The Dorchester]2541-the dorchester . ’[2342-matt] ‘ It ca n’t be that difficult , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt soothe [the old boy]101-clive . ‘ Have [you]101-clive asked [the surveillance team]2542-the surveillance team ? ’[101-clive] [He]101-clive throws [his]101-clive glasses down on the desk in exasperation , rubbing [his]101-clive eyes . ‘ Yes , three times now . [They]641-they must think [I]101-clive ’m[101-clive] daft . ’ ‘[101-clive] [You]101-clive ’ll be fine , ’ [I]101-clive assure [him]101-clive . ‘[101-clive] When do [they]641-they start moving in ? ’ ‘[641-they] Tomorrow . Are [you]101-clive all set for tonight ? ’ ‘[101-clive] Ask [me]2342-matt again this afternoon . [I]2342-matt ’ll see [you]101-clive in a bit . ’ [He]101-clive smiles . ‘[2342-matt] Okay , love . ’ [He]101-clive turns [his]101-clive attention back to [his]101-clive instruction manual , muttering under [his]101-clive breath . [I]2342-matt traipse across the floor and punch in the code for [the penthouse elevator]390-the building . It ’s private and the only one that goes to the top floor . [I]2342-matt set about transporting and spreading the vases and flowers between the fifteen floors of [the building]390-the building . Arranging these will keep [me]2342-matt busy for a while . At ten thirty , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] back in [the foyer]2536-the foyer and arranging the last of [my]2342-matt flowers on the console tables that line [the foyer]2536-the foyer . ‘ [I]2342-matt have flowers for a [Miss O’Shea]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look up , seeing [a young girl gazing around at [the impressive lobby]2536-the foyer]643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby . ‘ Sorry ? ’[643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby] [She]643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby points to [her]643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby clipboard . ‘ [I]643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby have a delivery for [Miss O’Shea]832-ava . ’[643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby] [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes . Do n’t tell [me]2342-matt [they]644-they ’ve duplicated an order of over four hundred Italian red roses . That really would take incompetence to a whole new level . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ve already taken delivery of the flowers . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say tiredly , walking towards [her]643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby . [I]2342-matt notice [the van]600-the van outside , but it ’s not the florist [I]2342-matt ordered through . ‘ Have [you]832-ava ? ’[643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby] [She]643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby looks a bit panicky as [she]643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby flicks through the papers on [her]643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby clipboard . ‘ What have [you]832-ava got ? ’[643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby] [I]2342-matt ask . ‘ A bouquet of calla lilies for [Miss]832-ava … ’[643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby] [She]643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby looks at [her]643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby clipboard again . ‘ [Miss Ava O’Shea]832-ava . ’[643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby] ‘ [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] [Ava O’Shea]832-ava . ’ ‘[832-ava] Cool , [I]2342-matt ’ll be two seconds . ’ [She]643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby runs off , returning swiftly . ‘[2342-matt] [This place]310-whoever is like [Fort Knox]22-fort knox ! ’ [she]643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby exclaims . [She]643-a young girl gazing around at the impressive lobby hands [me]2342-matt the biggest spray of calla lilies [I]2342-matt ’ve ever seen – stunning , white , clean flowers surrounded by stacks of deep green foliage . Understated elegance . [My]2342-matt stomach does a few cartwheels as [I]2342-matt sign [the delivery girl]2544-the delivery girl ’s paperwork and take the flowers from [her]2544-the delivery girl , finding the card among [the forest of green]2545-the forest of green . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] so sorry . Forgive [me]2342-matt , please . [X]102-x Is [he]102-x ? [He]102-x already apologised for [his]102-x inappropriate behavior and look where that got [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt start to wonder how [he]102-x ’d know [I]2342-matt ’m here , but then [I]101-clive remember [him]102-x picking out [Lusso]66-lusso in [my]101-clive portfolio . It would n’t take a lot of effort to find out the launch date and figure [I]101-clive would be [here]314-here . [My]101-clive contentment of yesterday evening , after [Jesse]327-jesse left [the house]308-the place , is slowly dissipating . [He]102-x ’s never going to give up , is [he]102-x ? Well , [he]102-x can knock [himself]102-x out . [I]101-clive smile to [myself]101-clive . Knock [himself]102-x out ? Where did that … [I]101-clive flatten that thought immediately . [I]101-clive place the flowers on the concierge desk . ‘[101-clive] Here , [Clive]101-clive . Let ’s pretty up all this black marble . ’ [He]102-x looks up briefly before returning to scratching [his]102-x head , looking overwhelmed . [I]2342-matt leave [him]102-x to it , getting on with [my]2342-matt walk through to ensure everything is in place and ready . [Victoria]54-victoria turns up at five thirty , looking [her]647-her usual immaculate self – all blonde hair , blue eyes and overdone . ‘[2342-matt] Sorry [I]2342-matt ’m late . [The traffic]2548-the traffic ’s a nightmare and there ’s nowhere to [park]2549-park . ’[647-her] [She]647-her gazes around . ‘ [They]648-guests ’re[647-her] all reserved for [guests]648-guests . What can [I]2342-matt do , [I]2342-matt ’m so excited ! ’[647-her] [she]647-her sings at [me]2342-matt , while stroking the walls of [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse . ‘ [I]647-her ’m[647-her] all done . [I]2342-matt just need [you]650-you to do a walk through to make sure there ’s nothing that [I]2342-matt ’ve missed . ’ [I]2342-matt lead [her]647-her into the main space . ‘[2342-matt] Oh [my]2342-matt God , [Ava]832-ava , it looks amazing ! ’ ‘[832-ava] It ’s great , is n’t it ? [I]2342-matt ’ve never had such a colossal budget . It was fun spending so much of [someone else]2416-someone else ’s money . ’ [We]2550-we giggle together . ‘[2416-someone else] Have [you]650-you seen [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve not seen it complete . [I]2342-matt bet it ’s incredible . ’ ‘[2342-matt] It is , go and take a look . [I]2342-matt ’m going to get [myself]2342-matt ready in [the spa]2551-the spa . [I]2342-matt ’ve done everything in [the other apartments]2552-the other apartments so concentrate up here . This is where the action will be . Make sure all the cushions are plumped and in place . [I]2342-matt want the peppers on the chopping boards shiny . Use Pledge ! [The mini Dyson]23-the dyson is here . [Hoover]103-hoover up any stray bits on the bedroom carpets , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hand [her]832-ava the fully charged , hand held hoover . ‘ Just use [your]2342-matt initiative . If there ’s anything [you]2342-matt ’re[832-ava] not sure of , make a note . Okay ? ’ [She]832-ava grabs the hoover from [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt love these things . ’ [she]832-ava revs [the Dyson]23-the dyson , posing like a cowboy in a standoff . ‘[2342-matt] How old are [you]2342-matt ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask on an eye roll . [She]832-ava screws [her]832-ava face up , grins and sets off to follow through on [my]2342-matt instructions . An hour later , after utilising all of [[Lusso]66-lusso ’s fancy spa facilities]2553-lusso ’s fancy spa facilities , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] ready . [My]2342-matt dress is creaseless and [my]2342-matt hair is behaving . [I]2342-matt take a little wander around . This will be [my]2342-matt last time here , and it will soon be crowded with [business people and high society]653-business people and high society , so [I]2342-matt make the most of [my]2342-matt last opportunity to savour the sheer magnificence of [the place]308-the place . It ’s mind - blowing . [I]2342-matt still ca n’t believe this is [my]2342-matt work . [I]2342-matt smile to [myself]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt stand in the colossal open space on the first floor . Bi - folding doors lead to [an L shaped terrace]655-an l shaped terrace , with limestone paving , [a decked area]656-a decked area , sun loungers and a huge Jacuzzi . There ’s [a study , dining room]657-a study , dining room , [a huge archway leading into [a ridiculously large kitchen]2349-the kitchen , and a back - lit onyx staircase that rises to [the four en - suite bedrooms]660-the four en - suite bedrooms and [a massive master suite]661-a massive master suite]658-a huge archway leading into a ridiculously large kitchen , and a back - lit onyx staircase that rises to the four en - suite bedrooms and a massive master suite . [The spa , fitness centre and swimming pool]662-the spa , fitness centre and swimming pool , on the ground floor of [the building]2332-the penthouse , are exclusive to [the residents of [Lusso]66-lusso]664-the residents of lusso , but [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse boasts [[its]2332-the penthouse own gym]665-its own gym . It ’s stunning . [Whoever]310-whoever ’s brought [this place]310-whoever definitely likes the finer things in life and for a cool ten million , [they]666-they ’ve got it . [I]2342-matt make [my]2342-matt way back to [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen and find [Victoria]54-victoria , still armed with [the Dyson]23-the dyson . ‘ All done , ’[54-victoria] [she]54-victoria declares as [she]54-victoria hoovers up a stray crumb on the marble worktop . ‘ Well , let ’s drink . ’[54-victoria] [I]2342-matt smirk and pick up two glasses of champagne , handing one to [Victoria]54-victoria . ‘ Here ’s to [you]54-victoria , [Ava]832-ava . Stylish in body and in mind , ’[54-victoria] [She]54-victoria giggles , raising [her]54-victoria glass in a toast . [We]667-we both swig and sigh . ‘ Wow ! This is good . ’[54-victoria] [She]54-victoria looks at the bottle . ‘ [Ca’Del Bosco]105-ca’del bosco , [Cuvée Annamaria Clementi]106-cuvée annamaria clementi , 1993 . It ’s Italian , of course . ’[54-victoria] [I]2342-matt raise [my]2342-matt brow and [Victoria]54-victoria giggles again . [I]2342-matt hear chatter coming from [the entrance hall]356-the entrance hall , so [I]2342-matt wander out of [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , finding [Tom]60-tom gawping like a goldfish and [Patrick]327-jesse smiling proudly . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , this is some serious special , [darling]832-ava ! ’[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom runs at [me]2342-matt , throwing [his]60-tom arms around [my]2342-matt body . [He]60-tom pulls back , looking [me]2342-matt up and down . ‘ Love the dress . Very tight . ’[60-tom] [I]2342-matt wish [I]2342-matt could say the same for [Tom]60-tom , who takes colour clash to extreme levels . [I]2342-matt squint at [his]60-tom bright blue shirt and red tie combo . ‘ Put [the girl]832-ava down , [Tom]60-tom . [You]2342-matt ’ll crease [her]832-ava , ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse grumbles , gently shoving [him]327-jesse aside and leaning down to peck [me]2342-matt on the cheek . ‘ [I]670-flower ’m[670-flower] very proud of [you]2342-matt , [flower]670-flower . [You]2342-matt ’ve done a marvelous job , and between [me]2342-matt and [you]2342-matt – ’ [He]327-jesse leans into [my]2330-the developer ear and whispers . ‘[2330-the developer] [The developer]2330-the developer has hinted [they]672-they want [you]2342-matt on board for [the next project in [Holland Park]24-holland park]673-the next project in holland park . ’ [He]327-jesse winks at [me]2330-the developer , [his]327-jesse wrinkled face wrinkling further . ‘[2330-the developer] Now , where ’s that champagne ? ’ ‘[2330-the developer] This way , ’ [I]2330-the developer lead [them]672-they into [the huge kitchen]308-the place , hearing more cooing from [Tom]60-tom . [The place]308-the place really is that special . ‘[2330-the developer] Cheers ! ’ [I]2330-the developer chant , after handing them all a glass of champagne . ‘[2330-the developer] Cheers ! ’ [They]672-they all raise [their]672-they glasses . [I]2330-the developer spend a few hours being introduced to high society and explaining [my]2330-the developer inspiration behind the design . Journalists from architecture and interior magazines swan around taking photographs and generally poking about . Much to [my]2330-the developer displeasure , [they]672-they hustle [me]2330-the developer onto velvet chaise lounge for a shot . [Patrick]327-jesse drags [me]2330-the developer from pillar to post , proclaiming [his]327-jesse pride and insisting , to [anyone that will listen]2555-anyone that will listen , that [I]2330-the developer ’ve single handedly put [Rococo Union]8-rococo union on the designers map . [I]2330-the developer blush profusely , repeatedly playing down [his]327-jesse declarations . [I]2330-the developer ’m[2330-the developer] thankful when [Kate]2557-kate shows up . [I]2342-matt usher [her]2557-kate into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , thrusting a glass of champagne in [her]2557-kate hand and take another for [myself]2342-matt . ‘ Bit posh , eh ? ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate muses , gazing around [the plush kitchen]2349-the kitchen . ‘ It makes [my]2557-kate place look like a cluttered mess . ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt laugh at the referral to [[her]2557-kate cute , homely town house that looks like [Cath Kidston]107-cath kidston]675-her cute , homely town house that looks like cath kidston has vomited , sneezed and coughed all over it . ‘ [You]107-cath kidston mean impressive , [I]107-cath kidston ’m[107-cath kidston] sure . ’ ‘[107-cath kidston] Yes , that too . [I]2342-matt could n’t live here though . ’ [she]2557-kate says with no shame at all . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not offended . While [I]2342-matt ’m proud of the finished result , the sheer vastness of the place intimidates [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [Me]2342-matt either . ’ [I]2342-matt concur . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt saw [Matt]2342-matt earlier . ’ [She]2557-kate downs [her]2557-kate champagne , immediately scooping up another from a tray as [a waiter]2556-a waiter passes . ‘[2342-matt] Oh , [I]2342-matt bet that was nice for [you]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt tease , imagining [Kate]2557-kate hissing and spitting like a cat at poor [Matt]2342-matt . It ’s no less than [he]2342-matt deserves . ‘[2342-matt] No , it was n’t . The part where [he]2342-matt told [me]2342-matt that [you]2342-matt were going out for dinner with [him]2342-matt was particularly unpleasant . ’ [She]2557-kate purses [her]2557-kate lips at [me]832-ava . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , what are [you]832-ava thinking ? [I]2342-matt ’m here to threaten [you]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Oh , and there was [me]2342-matt thinking [you]832-ava ’d come to support [[your]832-ava friend]2557-kate in [her]832-ava working triumph . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt raise [my]2342-matt eyebrows . ‘ [Pah]108-pah ! [Your]108-pah working life is not [an area in which [you]108-pah need support]2558-an area in which you need support . On the other hand , [your]108-pah personal life is very interesting lately . ’[832-ava] [She]832-ava jiggles [her]832-ava eyebrows up and down suggestively . [I]2342-matt know what [she]832-ava ’s getting at , and [she]832-ava ’s not heard the half of it . [Damn Matt]2342-matt as well . [We]676-we ’re not even together anymore and [he]2342-matt still ca n’t resist winding [her]832-ava up . [I]677-you feign a hurt face . ‘[677-you] [You]677-you need n’t worry . [I]2342-matt assure [you]677-you , [I]2342-matt ’m not going back to that . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] enjoying being [man]678-man free , and that is n’t going to change anytime soon . Anyway , for the record , [Matt]2342-matt ’s winding [you]677-you up . ’ [I]2342-matt sip [my]2342-matt champagne . ‘[2342-matt] Not even for tall , handsome , slightly older blondes ? ’ [She]2557-kate grins . [I]2342-matt narrow [my]2342-matt eyes on [her]2557-kate . ‘[2342-matt] Not even then . ’ [I]2342-matt confirm . ‘[2342-matt] Oh , do n’t be such a bore . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Excuse [me]2342-matt ? ’ This time , [my]2342-matt hurt expression is n’t feigned . Boring ? [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not boring . [Kate]2557-kate ’s Wild ! [I]2342-matt look at [her]2557-kate in disbelief , genuinely hurt by [her]2557-kate harsh remark . [I]2342-matt wait for [her]2557-kate to back track , but [she]2557-kate does n’t . Instead , [she]2557-kate ’s looking over [my]2342-matt shoulder with the biggest smirk on [her]2557-kate face . Impatient and quite pissed off with [her]2557-kate , [I]2342-matt swing around to find out what ’s caught [her]2557-kate amused attention . Oh no ! ‘ [He]679-he ’s like a bad penny , is n’t [he]679-he ? ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate remarks coolly . Chapter 8 Oh , [she]2557-kate has no idea . [I]2342-matt ’ve not even filled [her]2557-kate in on any of the developments since [she]2557-kate met [him]679-he at lunch . And here [he]679-he is again , stood chatting with [the acting estate agent]680-the acting estate agent , wearing a navy suit and pale blue shirt , one hand in [his]679-he pocket and the other holding a file . [He]679-he looks , as always , like [a fucking God]681-a fucking god . And as if [he]679-he can sense [me]2342-matt staring , [he]679-he looks up and [our]682-our eyes meet . ‘ Shit ! ’[679-he] [I]2342-matt curse , turning back to [Kate]2557-kate . [She]2557-kate drags [her]2557-kate gaze from [Ward]327-jesse and onto [me]2342-matt , [her]2557-kate eyes dancing with delight . ‘ [You]2557-kate know , [I]2557-kate was going to go [home]281-home and cry into [my]2557-kate [Haagen - Dazs]25-haagen - dazs , [Bridgette Jones]109-bridgette jones style , but [I]2557-kate think [I]2557-kate ’ll just hang around for a bit . [You]2557-kate mind ? ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate sips [her]2557-kate drink through [her]2557-kate grin , while [I]2342-matt snarl at [her]2557-kate . ‘ This is not the behavior of [someone]587-someone , supposedly , unmoved by [a certain someone]2561-a certain someone , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate teases . ‘ [I]2342-matt went to [The Manor]2342-matt on Tuesday and nearly slept with [him]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blurt . ‘ What ! ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate splutters , grabbing a napkin to mop up the trail of champagne that ’s dripping down [her]2557-kate chin . ‘ [He]2342-matt apologised for the text [he]2342-matt sent . [I]2557-kate went back to [The Manor]2342-matt and [he]2342-matt had [the big guy]327-jesse lock [me]2557-kate in [a room]2564-a room . [He]2342-matt was waiting for [me]2557-kate half naked ! ’[2557-kate] ‘ Get out ! Oh [[my]2557-kate God]2383-god . Who ’s [the big guy]327-jesse ? ’[2557-kate] ‘ Well , [he]2342-matt ’s not [a butler]2566-a butler . [I]2557-kate ’ve no idea what role [he]2342-matt plays . [Trapping women for [Ward]327-jesse]2567-trapping women for ward , maybe . ’[2557-kate] ‘ Why have n’t [you]2568-you told [me]2557-kate this ? ’[2557-kate] ‘ It was a disaster . [I]2557-kate ran out when [I]2557-kate heard [[his]2342-matt girlfriend]2455-his girlfriend calling [him]2342-matt . [Ward]327-jesse screwed and turned up at [the house]308-the place last night making demands . ’[2557-kate] The urgency to bring [Kate]2557-kate up to speed has [me]2342-matt spitting out the basic facts in a rush . ‘ Fuck ! What sort of demands ? ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate ’s shocked . [She]2557-kate should be . It ’s shocking . ‘ [I]2557-kate do n’t know . [The man]2342-matt ’s [an arrogant arse]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt asked [me]2557-kate how loud [I]2557-kate ’d scream when [he]2342-matt fucks [me]2557-kate . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate spits more champagne . ‘ [He]2342-matt what ? Fuck , [Ava]832-ava , [he]2342-matt ’s coming over , [he]2342-matt ’s coming over ! ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate shifts on the spot , [her]2557-kate eyes still skipping with amusement . Why is [he]683-the master of light [here]314-here ? [I]2342-matt start planning [my]2342-matt escape , but before [my]2342-matt brain can even instruct [my]2342-matt legs to move , [I]2342-matt can feel [him]683-the master of light stood behind [me]2342-matt ; [I]2342-matt can smell [him]683-the master of light . ‘ Nice to see [you]683-the master of light again , [Kate]2557-kate . ’[683-the master of light] [he]683-the master of light drawls . ‘ [Ava]832-ava ? ’[683-the master of light] [I]2342-matt remain with [my]2342-matt back to [him]683-the master of light , knowing all too well that if [I]2342-matt turn to acknowledge [him]683-the master of light , [I]2342-matt ’ll be hauled into the hazardous place that is [[Jesse Ward]327-jesse ’s realm]327-jesse – a place where [I]2342-matt struggle to maintain any rational thinking . [I]2342-matt drained [my]2342-matt reserve tank of strength last night , and [I]2342-matt ’ve not had a chance to replenish it yet . This is not good news . [He]683-the master of light said [I]2342-matt would n’t have to see [him]683-the master of light again . If [I]2342-matt told [him]683-the master of light what [he]683-the master of light did n’t want to hear , then [I]2342-matt would never have to see [him]683-the master of light again . [I]2342-matt met the terms of [his]683-the master of light demand , so why is [he]683-the master of light not keeping to [his]683-the master of light end of the bargain ? [Kate]2557-kate ’s eyes are darting between [us]685-us , waiting for [one of [us]685-us]686-one of us to say something . [I]2342-matt certainly wo n’t be . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] [She]2557-kate nods at [him]683-the master of light . ‘ Excuse [me]2557-kate . [I]2557-kate need to powder [my]2557-kate nose . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate places [her]2557-kate empty on the worktop and beats feet . [I]2342-matt mentally curse [her]2557-kate arse to Hell . [He]683-the master of light circles around [me]2342-matt so [he]683-the master of light ’s stood before [me]2342-matt . ‘ [You]2342-matt look stunning . ’[683-the master of light] [he]683-the master of light murmurs . ‘ [You]2342-matt said [I]2342-matt would n’t have to see [you]2342-matt again . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt challenge [him]683-the master of light , ignoring [his]683-the master of light compliment . ‘ [I]2342-matt did n’t know [you]2342-matt would be here . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look at [him]683-the master of light tiredly . ‘ [You]2342-matt sent [me]2342-matt flowers . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Oh , so [I]683-the master of light did . ’[683-the master of light] A smile tickles the edge of [his]683-the master of light lips . [I]2342-matt do n’t have time for [his]683-the master of light games . [He]683-the master of light ’s really met [his]683-the master of light match in [me]2342-matt . ‘ Please , excuse [me]683-the master of light . ’[683-the master of light] [I]2342-matt go to side step [him]683-the master of light , but [he]683-the master of light moves with [me]2342-matt , effectively blocking [my]2342-matt path . ‘ [I]683-the master of light was hoping for a tour . ’[683-the master of light] ‘ [I]683-the master of light ’ll get [Victoria]54-victoria . [She]54-victoria ’ll be happy to show [you]54-victoria around . ’[683-the master of light] ‘ [I]683-the master of light would prefer [you]54-victoria . ’[683-the master of light] ‘ [You]54-victoria do n’t get a fuck with a tour . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt snap . [He]683-the master of light frowns . ‘ Will [you]54-victoria watch [your]54-victoria mouth ? ’[683-the master of light] ‘ Sorry , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mutter indignantly . ‘ And put [my]683-the master of light seat back when [you]54-victoria drive [[my]683-the master of light car]2336-my car . ’[683-the master of light] [He]683-the master of light grin ’s a real boyish grin , and [I]2342-matt ’m even more furious with [myself]2342-matt when [my]2342-matt heart speeds up . [I]2342-matt must n’t let [him]683-the master of light see the affect [he]683-the master of light has on [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] And leave [my]2342-matt music alone ! ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sorry . ’[683-the master of light] [His]683-the master of light eyes flicker with mischievousness . It ’s so bloody sexy . ‘ Are [you]2342-matt okay ? [You]2342-matt look a little shaky . ’[683-the master of light] [He]683-the master of light reaches out , softly running [his]683-the master of light finger down [my]2342-matt bare arm . ‘ Is something affecting [you]2342-matt ? ’[683-the master of light] [I]2342-matt jerk away . ‘ Not at all , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt need to get off this line of conversation . ‘ Did [you]2342-matt want a tour ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]683-the master of light would love a tour . ’[683-the master of light] [He]683-the master of light looks pleased with [himself]683-the master of light . On a huff , [I]2342-matt lead [him]683-the master of light out of [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen and into [the massive living space]688-the massive living space . ‘ Lounge , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt wave [my]2342-matt hand about in the general space around [us]689-we . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’ve seen [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say over [my]2342-matt shoulder as [I]2342-matt walk through the open space and onto [the terrace]690-the terrace . ‘ View , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt maintain [my]2342-matt tired tone , hearing [him]683-the master of light laugh lightly behind [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt lead [him]683-the master of light back through [the lounge]2332-the penthouse to [the workout room]2332-the penthouse , not saying a word as [we]689-we trek through [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse . [Jesse]327-jesse shakes hands , greeting [various people on [our]689-we travels]692-various people on our travels , but [I]2342-matt do n’t pause to allow [him]683-the master of light time to stop and chat . [I]2342-matt march on in a bid to get this over with as soon as possible . Damn this place for being so big . ‘ Gym , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt state , walking in and abruptly leaving again when [he]683-the master of light enters . [I]2342-matt head for [the stairs]272-the stairs , hearing [him]683-the master of light laugh behind [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt take the back - lit , onyx staircase , proceeding to open and shut doors , one at a time , while declaring what lies beyond . [We]689-we reach the pièce de résistance , [the master suite]694-the master suite , and [I]2342-matt wave [my]2342-matt hand round at [the dressing room and en - suite bathroom]695-the dressing room and en - suite bathroom . [The place]308-the place really does deserve more passion and time than [I]2342-matt ’m devoting . ‘[697-you] [You]697-you ’re [an expert tour guide]2572-an expert tour guide , [Ava]832-ava . ’[683-the master of light] [he]683-the master of light teases , regarding one of [my]2342-matt favourite pieces of art . ‘ Care to enlighten [me]683-the master of light on [the artist]2573-the artist ? ’[683-the master of light] ‘ [Guiseppe Cavalli]110-guiseppe cavalli , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt toss the name at [him]683-the master of light , folding [my]2342-matt arms over [my]2342-matt chest . ‘ It ’s good . Is there any particular reason why [you]2574-you chose [this artist]2573-the artist ? ’[683-the master of light] [He]683-the master of light ’s blatantly trying to temp [me]2342-matt into conversation . [I]2342-matt stare at [his]683-the master of light broad , suit covered back , [his]683-the master of light hands resting lightly in [his]683-the master of light trouser pockets , [his]683-the master of light lean legs slightly spread . [My]2342-matt eyes are very pleased , but [my]2342-matt brain is in a jumbled mess . [I]2342-matt sigh and decide , wisely or not , to indulge [him]683-the master of light . [Guiseppe Cavalli]110-guiseppe cavalli most definitely deserves [my]2342-matt time and enthusiasm . [I]2342-matt drop [my]2342-matt arms and walk over to join [him]683-the master of light in front of the piece . ‘ [He]683-the master of light was known as [the master of light]683-the master of light , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say , and [he]683-the master of light looks at [me]2342-matt with genuine interest . ‘ [He]683-the master of light did n’t think that the subject was of any importance . It did n’t matter what [he]683-the master of light photographed . To [him]683-the master of light , the subject was always the light . [He]683-the master of light concentrated on controlling it . See ? ’[683-the master of light] [I]2342-matt point to the reflections on [the water]698-the water . ‘ [These rowing boats]2575-the boats , as lovely as [they]2575-the boats are , are just [boats]2575-the boats , but see how [he]683-the master of light manipulates the light ? [He]683-the master of light did n’t care for [the boats]2575-the boats . [He]683-the master of light cared for the light surrounding [the boats]2575-the boats . [He]683-the master of light makes inanimate objects interesting , makes [you]699-you look at the photograph in a different … well , a different light , [I]2342-matt suppose . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt tilt [my]2342-matt head and observe the picture . [I]2342-matt never tire of it . As simple as it seems , the more [you]699-you look at it , the more [you]699-you get it . After a few moments silence , [I]2342-matt rip [my]2342-matt eyes away from the canvas , finding [Jesse]327-jesse staring at [me]2342-matt . [Our]700-our eyes meet . [He]327-jesse ’s chewing [his]327-jesse bottom lip . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt wo n’t be able to say no again if [he]327-jesse pushes this . [I]2342-matt ’m all out of willpower . [I]2342-matt ’ve never felt so desired than when [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] with [him]327-jesse , and [I]2342-matt keep trying to fool [myself]2342-matt that the feeling is unwanted . ‘ Please do n’t . ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt voice is barely audible . ‘ Do n’t what ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]699-you know what . [You]699-you said [I]2342-matt would n’t have to see [you]699-you again . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]327-jesse lied , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse ’s not ashamed . ‘ [I]327-jesse ca n’t stay away from [you]699-you , so [you]699-you do have to see [me]327-jesse again … and again … and again . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse finishes the last part of [his]327-jesse declaration slowly and clearly , leaving [no room]701-no room for misunderstanding . [I]2342-matt gasp , instinctively backing away from [him]327-jesse . ‘ [You]699-you persistently fighting this is only making [me]327-jesse more determined to prove that [you]699-you want [me]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse starts slowly pursuing [me]2342-matt , taking slow , cautious steps forward , maintaining [his]327-jesse deep eye contact as [he]327-jesse does . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] making it [my]2342-matt mission objective . [I]2342-matt ’ll do anything . ’ [I]2342-matt stop [my]2342-matt retreat when [I]2342-matt feel the bed at the back of [my]2342-matt knees . In two more strides , [he]327-jesse ’ll be upon [me]2342-matt , and the thought of imminent contact in enough to snap [me]2342-matt out of the trance [he]327-jesse sends [me]2342-matt into . ‘[2342-matt] Stop , ’ [I]2342-matt hold [my]2342-matt hand up in front of [me]2342-matt , halting [him]702-i in [his]702-i tracks . ‘[2342-matt] [You]702-i do n’t even know [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]702-i blurt , in a desperate attempt to make [him]702-i see how crazy this is . ‘[702-i] [I]2342-matt know [you]702-i ’re impossibly beautiful , ’[702-i] [He]702-i starts towards [me]2342-matt again . ‘ [I]702-i know what [I]702-i feel , and [I]702-i know that [you]702-i ’re[702-i] feeling it too . ’ [We]2576-we ’re[2342-matt] body to body now , and [my]2342-matt heart is hammering in [my]2342-matt throat . ‘ So , tell [me]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . What have [I]2342-matt missed ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt try to control [my]2342-matt rushed breaths , but with [my]2342-matt chest heaving and [my]2342-matt body physically shaking , [I]2342-matt ’m struggling . [I]2342-matt drop [my]2342-matt head , ashamed at the tears gathering in [my]2342-matt eyes . Why am [I]2342-matt crying ? Is [he]2342-matt enjoying reducing [me]2342-matt to tears ? This is hideous . [He]2342-matt ’s so desperate to bed [me]2342-matt , [he]2342-matt ’s resorting to stalking [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] crying because [I]2342-matt ’m so weak . [He]2342-matt makes [me]2342-matt weak , and [he]2342-matt has no right to . [I]2342-matt feel [his]2342-matt hand slide under [my]2342-matt chin , and the warmth would be welcome , if [I]2342-matt did n’t think [he]2342-matt was such an arsehole right now . [He]2342-matt tugs at [my]2342-matt jaw to raise [my]2342-matt head . When [our]2577-our eyes meet , [he]2342-matt winces at [my]2342-matt tears . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sorry . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt whispers softly , sliding [his]2342-matt hand around to cup [my]2342-matt cheek , slowly stroking the rolling tears away with [his]2342-matt thumb . [His]2342-matt expression is pure torment . Good . It should be . [I]2342-matt find [my]2342-matt voice . ‘ [You]2342-matt said [you]2342-matt would leave [me]2342-matt alone . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look at [him]2342-matt questioningly as [he]2342-matt continues to smooth [his]2342-matt thumb over [my]2342-matt face . Why is [he]2342-matt chasing [me]2342-matt like this ? [He]2342-matt ’s clearly unhappy in [his]2342-matt relationship , but it does n’t make this right . ‘ [I]2342-matt lied , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sorry . [I]2342-matt told [you]703-you , [I]2342-matt ca n’t stay away . ’ ‘[703-you] [You]703-you already said that [you]703-you ’re sorry , but here [you]703-you are again . Am [I]2342-matt to expect flowers tomorrow ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t hide [my]2342-matt sarcasm . [His]2342-matt thumb pauses and [he]2342-matt drops [his]2342-matt head . Now [he]2342-matt ’s ashamed . But then [his]2342-matt head lifts , [our]704-our eyes connect and [his]2342-matt gaze drops to [my]2342-matt lips . Oh , no . Please , no . [I]2342-matt ’ll never be able to stop this . [He]2342-matt begins searching [my]2342-matt eyes , looking for any sign that [I]2342-matt ’m going to block [him]2342-matt . Am [I]2342-matt ? [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt should , but [I]2342-matt do n’t think [I]2342-matt can . [His]2342-matt lips part and [they]2578-they slowly start lowering to [mine]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt hold [my]2342-matt breath . As [our]704-our lips brush , only very lightly , [my]2342-matt body gives way , prompting [my]2342-matt hands to fly up and bunch [his]2342-matt jacket in [my]2342-matt fists . [He]2342-matt growls [his]2342-matt approval as [he]2342-matt moves [his]2342-matt hands to the base on [my]2342-matt spine and pushes [my]2342-matt body closer to [him]2342-matt , [our]704-our lips hovering over each other , [our]704-our breaths mingling . [We]704-our both shake uncontrollably . ‘[2342-matt] Have [you]705-you ever felt like this ? ’ [he]2342-matt breathes , running [his]2342-matt lips across [my]2342-matt cheek to [my]2342-matt ear . ‘[2342-matt] Never , ’ [I]2342-matt answer honestly . [My]2342-matt short , gasping breath is unrecognisable . [He]2342-matt grips the lobe of [my]2342-matt ear between [his]2342-matt teeth and tugs gently , letting the flesh drag through [his]2342-matt bite . ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]705-you ready to stop fighting it now ? ’ [he]2342-matt whispers , tracing down the edge of [my]2342-matt ear with the tip of [his]2342-matt tongue , working [his]2342-matt way back up and brushing [his]2342-matt lips lightly over the sensitive flesh under [my]2342-matt ear . [His]2342-matt hot breath causes a rush of heat to crash between [my]2342-matt thighs . [I]2342-matt ca n’t fight this anymore . ‘[2342-matt] Oh God , ’ [I]2342-matt breathe , and [his]2342-matt lips return to [mine]2342-matt to hush [me]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt takes them gently , and [I]2342-matt accept it , letting [our]2579-our tongues roll and lap together at a steady , non - urgent pace . It ’s too good . [My]2342-matt whole body is on fire , and [I]2342-matt realise [my]2342-matt hands are aching from gripping [his]2342-matt jacket too hard . [I]2342-matt release them , moving them to the back of [his]2342-matt neck to stroke the dark blonde hair on [his]2342-matt nape . [He]2342-matt moans , releasing [my]2342-matt mouth . ‘[2342-matt] Is that a yes ? ’ [He]2342-matt fixes [me]2342-matt with [his]2342-matt sludgy eyes . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] supposed to answer here . ‘ Yes . ’[327-jesse] Nodding [his]327-jesse head , only very slightly , [he]327-jesse kisses [my]2342-matt nose , [my]2342-matt cheek , [my]2342-matt forehead and returns to [my]2342-matt mouth . ‘ [I]2342-matt need to have all of [you]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . Say [I]2342-matt can have all of [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] All of [me]2342-matt ? What does [he]327-jesse mean by all of [me]2342-matt ? Mind ? [Soul]111-soul ? But [he]327-jesse does n’t mean that , does [he]327-jesse ? No , [he]327-jesse wants all of [my]2342-matt body . And right now , [my]2342-matt conscience has completely failed [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt need to get [this man]327-jesse out of [my]2342-matt system . [He]327-jesse needs to get [me]2342-matt out of [his]327-jesse system . ‘ Take [me]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt say quietly against [his]327-jesse lips . ‘ Oh , [I]2342-matt will . ’[2342-matt] Keeping [his]327-jesse lips firmly against [mine]2342-matt , [he]327-jesse wraps one arm around [my]2342-matt waist and splays the other across the back of [my]2342-matt head . Lifting [me]2342-matt from [my]2342-matt feet , [he]327-jesse deepens [his]327-jesse kiss and walks [me]2342-matt across [the room]2350-the room until [my]2342-matt back is against a wall . [Our]708-our tongues dance together wildly , [my]2342-matt hands moving down [his]327-jesse back . [I]2342-matt want closer contact . [I]2342-matt grab the front of [his]327-jesse jacket and start pushing it off of [his]327-jesse shoulders , forcing [him]327-jesse to release [his]327-jesse hold of [me]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse keeps [our]708-our lips locked , stepping back slightly to give [me]2342-matt space to rid [him]327-jesse of the obstruction to [his]327-jesse body . [I]2342-matt toss it on the floor , grab [his]327-jesse shirt and yank [him]327-jesse towards [me]2342-matt , all [my]2342-matt previous battling of conscious long forgotten . [I]2342-matt have to have [him]327-jesse . [Our]708-our bodies smash together and [he]327-jesse pushes [me]2342-matt up the wall , devouring [my]2342-matt mouth . ‘ Fucking hell , [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse pants through strangled breaths . ‘ [You]832-ava make [me]327-jesse crazy . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse rolls [his]327-jesse hips , pushing [his]327-jesse erection into [me]2342-matt , milking a small cry from [my]2342-matt lips . [I]2342-matt fist [my]2342-matt hands in [his]327-jesse hair , moaning in invitation . This is way past stoppable now . [My]2342-matt body has gone into cruise control , the stop button lost somewhere in [the land of lust]709-the land of lust . [I]2342-matt feel [his]327-jesse palms rest on the front of [my]2342-matt thighs , [my]2342-matt dress bunched in [his]327-jesse fists and pulled up over [my]2342-matt waist in one swift tug . [His]327-jesse hips roll again and [I]2342-matt whimper . [I]2342-matt need more . Christ , [I]2342-matt do n’t know how [I]2342-matt ’ve resisted this . [He]327-jesse bites [my]2342-matt bottom lip and releases [me]2342-matt , pulling [his]327-jesse face away and looking [me]2342-matt straight in the eyes . [He]327-jesse rolls [his]327-jesse hips again , grinding hard against [my]2342-matt core . [My]2342-matt head falls back on a deep moan , giving [him]327-jesse open access to [my]2342-matt throat , which [he]327-jesse takes full advantage of , licking , sucking and lapping at the hollow . [I]2342-matt could weep with pleasure . But then [I]2342-matt hear voices coming from outside of [the room]2350-the room and reality comes crashing down around [me]2342-matt . What am [I]2342-matt doing ? [I]2342-matt ’m in [the master suite of [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse]2332-the penthouse , with [my]327-jesse dress around [my]327-jesse waist and [Jesse]327-jesse at [my]327-jesse throat . There are hundreds of people milling about down stairs . [Someone]587-someone could walk in at any moment . [Someone]587-someone will walk in at any moment . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , ’ [I]327-jesse pant , trying to get [his]327-jesse attention . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , [people]372-people are coming , [you]372-people have to stop . ’ [I]2342-matt wriggle a little , causing [his]327-jesse erection to hit [me]2342-matt in just the right spot . [I]2342-matt bang [my]2342-matt head against the wall to try and halt the stab of pleasure it causes . [He]327-jesse groans , long and low . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not letting [you]372-people go , not now . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [We]2582-we need to stop . ’[2342-matt] ‘ No . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse growls . Oh , flipping heck . [Anyone]2475-anyone could walk through that door . ‘ [We]2582-we ’ll do this later . ’[2475-anyone] [I]2342-matt try and pacify [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt need to get [him]327-jesse off of [me]2342-matt . ‘ That leaves [you]372-people too much time to change [your]372-people mind . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse nibbles [my]2342-matt neck . ‘ [I]327-jesse wo n’t change [my]327-jesse mind , ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt grip [his]327-jesse jaw , pulling [his]327-jesse face to [mine]2342-matt so [we]713-we ’re nose to nose . [I]2342-matt look [him]327-jesse squarely in [his]327-jesse sludgy pools of green . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt will not change [my]2342-matt mind . ’ [He]327-jesse scans [my]2342-matt eyes , looking for the reassurance [he]327-jesse needs , but [I]2342-matt could n’t be any more resolute . [I]2342-matt want this . Yes , [I]2342-matt might have time to evaluate the situation , but right now , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] certain [I]2342-matt ’ll see this through . [He]327-jesse ’s just way too tempting to resist , and [God]68-god [I]2342-matt ’ve tried . [He]327-jesse kisses [me]2342-matt hard on the lips and pulls away . ‘ Sorry , [I]327-jesse ca n’t risk it . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse scoops [me]2342-matt up into [his]327-jesse arms and stalks towards [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom . ‘ What ? [They]2583-they ’ll want to see in there too . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse ca n’t be serious ? ‘ [I]327-jesse ’ll lock the door . No screaming . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse looks at [me]2342-matt on a small smirk . [I]2342-matt ’m shocked , but [I]715-you laugh . ‘[715-you] [You]715-you have no shame . ’ ‘[715-you] No . [My]2342-matt cock has been aching since last Friday , [I]2342-matt finally have [you]715-you in [my]2342-matt arms and [you]715-you ’ve seen sense . [I]2342-matt ’m going nowhere and neither are [you]715-you . ’[2342-matt] Chapter 9 [He]327-jesse kicks the door shut behind [him]327-jesse , placing [me]2342-matt between the sinks on the marble vanity unit before returning to lock the door . [My]2342-matt dress is still bunched around [my]2342-matt waist , [my]2342-matt legs and knickers completely exposed . [I]2342-matt gaze around [the vast room that [I]2342-matt ’m so familiar with , [my]716-my eyes falling on the gigantic , cream , marble bath dominating the centre of [the room]2350-the room]2350-the room . [I]716-my smile , remembering the trauma of having to organise a crane to lift it in through the windows . It was a nightmare , but it does look spectacular . The double , open ended shower on the back wall is made up of a floor to ceiling sheeted glass and beige Travertine tiles , and the vanity unit that [I]716-my ’ve been placed on is cream , Italian marble , with two sunken sinks and large waterfall taps . A thick , gold framed , intricately carved mirror spans the entire width of the unit , and a chaise lounge sits at an angle in the window . It really is luxury embodied . [I]716-my hear the lock click into place , snapping [me]716-my from admiring [my]716-my work and pulling [my]716-my eyes to the door , where [Jesse]327-jesse is watching [me]716-my closely . As [he]327-jesse saunters towards [me]716-my , [he]327-jesse slowly starts unbuttoning [his]327-jesse shirt . [I]716-my watch [him]327-jesse gain on [me]716-my , [his]327-jesse mouth lax , [his]327-jesse eyes hooded . Anticipation has [my]716-my stomach churning and [my]716-my thighs clenching shut . [This man]327-jesse is absolutely stunning . With [his]327-jesse final button unfastened , [he]327-jesse stands before [me]716-my with [his]327-jesse shirt draped open . [I]716-my ca n’t resist reaching up and running [my]716-my finger down the centre of [his]327-jesse hard , tanned chest . [He]327-jesse looks down to follow [my]716-my trail , placing [his]327-jesse hands on either side of [my]716-my hips , nudging [his]327-jesse way between [my]716-my thighs . As [he]327-jesse looks at [me]716-my , [his]327-jesse lips tip at the edges and [his]327-jesse eyes sparkle , the slight creases at the corner softening the usual intensiveness of them . ‘[716-my] [You]716-my ca n’t escape now . ’ [he]327-jesse teases . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t want to . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Good . ’ [he]327-jesse mouths , dragging [my]2342-matt eyes to [his]327-jesse lovely lips . [I]2342-matt trail [my]2342-matt finger back up [his]327-jesse chest , working [my]2342-matt way past [his]327-jesse throat until [my]2342-matt finger rests on [his]327-jesse bottom lip . [He]327-jesse opens [his]327-jesse mouth , biting [my]2342-matt finger playfully . [I]2342-matt smile , continuing upwards and running [my]2342-matt hand through [his]327-jesse hair . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt like [your]716-my dress . ’ [He]327-jesse drags [his]327-jesse eyes down [my]2342-matt front . [I]2342-matt follow [his]327-jesse stare to the bunched up material around [my]2342-matt waist . ‘[2342-matt] Thank [you]716-my . ’ ‘[2342-matt] It ’s a bit restrictive . ’ [He]327-jesse tugs at a piece of material . ‘[2342-matt] It is . ’ [I]2342-matt agree . The anticipation is killing [me]2342-matt . Rip off the dress ! ‘[2342-matt] Shall [we]717-we remove it ? ’ [He]327-jesse cocks a brow at [me]717-we , the corners of [his]327-jesse mouth twitching . [I]717-we smile . ‘[717-we] If [you]716-my like , ’ ‘[717-we] Or maybe , [we]717-we leave it on ? ’ [He]327-jesse breaks into a full on smile as [he]327-jesse holds [his]327-jesse hands up . [I]717-we melt all over the vanity unit . [He]327-jesse slides [his]327-jesse hands around [my]717-we back . ‘[717-we] But then again , [I]2342-matt have firsthand knowledge of what ’s under this lovely dress , ’ [He]327-jesse reaches up , grasping the zipper , breathing into [my]2342-matt ear as [he]327-jesse does . ‘[2342-matt] And it ’s far superior to the dress . ’ [he]327-jesse whispers , pulling it down slowly , teasingly . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] panting hard and desperate . ‘ [I]718-he think [we]2585-we ’ll get rid of it . ’[718-he] [He]718-he lifts [me]2342-matt off of the counter , placing [me]2342-matt on [my]2342-matt feet before pulling [my]2342-matt dress away from [my]2342-matt body and letting it drop to the floor . [He]718-he kicks it to the side without taking [his]718-he eyes off of [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt frown at [him]718-he . ‘ [I]2342-matt like that dress . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt could n’t give a toss about the dress . [He]718-he could have ripped it off and cleaned the windows with it , for all [I]2342-matt care . ‘ [I]718-he ’ll buy [you]718-he a new one . ’[718-he] [He]718-he shrugs as [he]718-he places [me]2342-matt back on the counter , resuming position between [my]2342-matt thighs . [He]718-he presses [his]718-he body up against [me]2342-matt and grabs [my]2342-matt bum , pulling [me]2342-matt in towards [him]718-he so [we]719-we ’re locked tight together . [He]718-he grinds [his]718-he hips while staring at [me]718-he . The throb at [my]718-he core is bordering on painful , and [I]718-he ’m[718-he] at serious risk of falling apart if [he]718-he continues with that alone . [I]2342-matt want to tell [him]718-he to hurry up ; [I]2342-matt ’m struggling to control [myself]2342-matt here . Reaching behind [me]2342-matt , [he]718-he unclasps [my]2342-matt bra , pulling the straps down [my]2342-matt arms and flinging it behind [him]718-he . [I]2342-matt lean back on [my]2342-matt hands , exposing [my]2342-matt breasts to [him]718-he . Looking into [my]2342-matt eyes , [he]718-he lifts [his]718-he hand and places it , palm down , under [my]2342-matt throat . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt can feel [your]2342-matt heart hammering . ’ [he]718-he says quietly . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt ’re so affected by [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not going to challenge [him]718-he on that statement . [He]718-he ’s right , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not even bothering to try and fight it anymore . [He]2342-matt glides [his]2342-matt palm down between [my]2342-matt breasts until it rests on [my]2342-matt stomach , as [he]2342-matt looks at [me]2342-matt – all smoldering and delicious . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] too fucking beautiful , [lady]65-ha ’ [he]2342-matt grinds firmly . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt ’ll keep [you]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt arch [my]2342-matt back , thrusting [my]2342-matt chest forward , and [he]2342-matt smiles before lowering [his]2342-matt mouth and taking [my]2342-matt nipple deep , sucking hard . When [he]2342-matt brings [his]2342-matt hand up to massage [my]2342-matt other breast , [I]2342-matt moan , letting [my]2342-matt head fall back against the mirror . Oh , good God . [The man]2342-matt is [a genius]2342-matt . [His]2342-matt arousal is as hard as lead , pressing between [my]2342-matt thighs , causing [me]2342-matt to roll [my]2342-matt hips to ease the throb on a long , drawn out moan . [I]2342-matt do n’t know what to do with [myself]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt want to soak up the pleasure because it ’s so good , but the need to have [him]2342-matt is getting the better of [me]2342-matt , the pressure in [my]2342-matt groin near exploding point . As if reading [my]2342-matt mind , [he]2342-matt skates [his]2342-matt hand up the inside of [my]2342-matt thigh , finding the edge of [my]2342-matt knickers . One finger breaches the barrier , lightly brushing the tip of [my]2342-matt clit . ‘[2342-matt] Shit ! ’ [I]65-ha cry , throwing [myself]65-ha up to grab [his]2342-matt shoulders , digging [my]65-ha nails into [his]2342-matt strained muscles . ‘[65-ha] Language , [lady]65-ha . ’ [he]2342-matt tusks , then slams [his]2342-matt lips against [mine]65-ha , plunging two fingers into [me]65-ha . [My]65-ha muscles grab onto [him]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt works them in and out . [I]65-ha might , literally , die of pleasure . [I]65-ha feel the fast buildup of an impending orgasm , and [I]65-ha know it ’s going to blow [me]65-ha apart . Holding onto [his]2342-matt shoulders for dear life , [I]65-ha moan into [his]2342-matt mouth as [he]2342-matt continues [his]2342-matt assault on [me]65-ha . Oh , here it is . ‘[65-ha] Come . ’ [he]2342-matt commands , applying more pressure to the top of [my]65-ha clit . [I]65-ha fall apart in an explosion of stars , releasing [his]2342-matt mouth and tossing [my]65-ha head back in a complete frenzy . [I]65-ha cry out . [He]2342-matt grabs [my]65-ha head , yanking it forward to tackle [my]65-ha mouth , catching the tail end of [my]65-ha cries . [I]65-ha ’m[65-ha] in pieces . [I]2342-matt ’m panting , shaking and boneless as [I]2342-matt disintegrate all over [him]2342-matt , completely inhibited and unashamed of what [he]2342-matt does to [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] delirious with pleasure . [His]2342-matt kiss softens and [his]2342-matt thrusts slow , easing [me]2342-matt gradually down as [he]2342-matt scatters tender kisses all over [my]2342-matt damp , warm face . Too good , just too , too good . [I]2342-matt feel [him]2342-matt brush a stray tendril of hair from [my]2342-matt face and [I]2342-matt open [my]2342-matt eyes , meeting a sludgy green , satisfied stare . [He]2342-matt plants a soft kiss on [my]2342-matt lips . [I]2342-matt sigh . [I]2342-matt feel like a life ’s time of pent up pressure has been extinguished , just like that . [I]2342-matt ’m relaxed and sated . ‘[2342-matt] Better ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks , sliding [his]2342-matt fingers out of [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Hmmm . ’ [I]2342-matt hum . [I]2342-matt have no energy for speech . [His]2342-matt fingers drag across [my]2342-matt bottom lip and [he]2342-matt leans into [me]2342-matt , watching [me]2342-matt closely as [he]2342-matt runs [his]2342-matt tongue across [my]2342-matt mouth , licking the remnants of [my]2342-matt orgasm away . [His]2342-matt eyes burn straight through [me]2342-matt as [we]2586-we gaze at [each other]606-each other in silence . [My]2342-matt hands , instinctively , reach up to cup [his]2342-matt face , smoothing down [his]2342-matt freshly shaven face . [This man]2342-matt is beautiful , intense and passionate . And [he]2342-matt could break [my]2342-matt heart . [He]2342-matt smiles lightly , turning [his]2342-matt face to kiss [my]2342-matt palm before returning [his]2342-matt eyes to [mine]2342-matt . Oh [Lord]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] in trouble . [We]722-we ’re both cruelly snatched from the intensity of the moment when the door handle of [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom is jiggled from the other side . [I]2342-matt gasp and [Jesse]327-jesse slaps [his]327-jesse palm over [my]2342-matt mouth , looking at [me]2342-matt in amusement . [He]327-jesse finds this funny ? ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ca n’t hear anything . ’ A strange voice comes through the door , followed by another rattle of the handle . [My]2342-matt eyes bulge in horror . [He]327-jesse removes [his]327-jesse hand , replacing it with [his]327-jesse lips . ‘[2342-matt] Shhhhhh . ’ [he]327-jesse mumbles against [my]2342-matt mouth . ‘[2342-matt] Oh God , [I]2342-matt feel cheap . ’ [I]723-i whine , leaving [his]327-jesse lips and dropping [my]723-i head to [his]327-jesse shoulder . How am [I]723-i going to walk out of [this place]310-whoever without burning bright red and looking as guilty as sin ? ‘[723-i] [You]723-i ’re not cheap . Talk crap like that , [I]2342-matt ’ll be forced to kick [your]723-i delicious backside all over [[my]2342-matt bathroom]2590-my bathroom . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt snap [my]2342-matt head up from [his]2342-matt shoulder , looking at [him]2342-matt in confusion . ‘ [[Your]723-i bathroom]2590-my bathroom ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , [[my]2342-matt bathroom]2590-my bathroom , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt smirks at [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt wish [they]2591-they would stop [strangers]2592-strangers roaming around [[my]2342-matt home]2593-my home . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt muses . ‘ [You]2342-matt live [here]308-the place ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m puzzled . [He]2342-matt ca n’t live here . [No one]2594-no one lives here . ‘[2342-matt] Well , [I]2342-matt will do as of tomorrow . Tell [me]2342-matt . Is all this Italian shit worth the outrageously expensive price tag [they]724-i attached to [this place]308-the place ? ’ [He]2342-matt looks at [me]724-i expectantly . Does [he]2342-matt actually want [me]724-i to answer that ? ‘[724-i] Italian shit ? ’ [I]724-i splutter , completely insulted . [He]2342-matt laughs , and [I]724-i think [I]724-i might slap [him]2342-matt . Italian shit ? [The man]2342-matt is [an ignorant arse]2342-matt . Italian shit ? ‘[724-i] [You]726-his should n’t have brought [the place]308-the place if [you]726-his do n’t like the shit that ’s in it . ’ [I]724-i fire at [him]2342-matt , completely outraged . ‘[724-i] [I]2342-matt can get rid of the shit . ’ [he]2342-matt quips . [My]65-ha eyebrows shoot up in a , [you]726-his - didn’t - just - say - that expression . [I]65-ha ’ve spent months breaking [my]65-ha back sourcing all of this Italian shit and [this unappreciative swine]2595-this unappreciative swine is just going to get rid ? [I]65-ha ’ve never been so insulted , or pissed off . [I]65-ha try to wriggle [my]65-ha hands from under [his]2342-matt , but [he]2342-matt tightens [his]2342-matt grip . [I]65-ha shoot [him]2342-matt a scowl . [He]2342-matt grins . ‘[65-ha] Unravel [your]726-his knickers , [lady]65-ha . [I]2342-matt would n’t get rid of anything in [this apartment]728-this apartment , ’ [He]726-his kisses [me]726-his hard . ‘[726-his] And [you]726-his ’re in [this apartment]728-this apartment . ’[726-his] [He]726-his ’s taking [my]2342-matt mouth again , possessively , greedily . [I]2342-matt wo n’t read into that statement too much . [My]2342-matt libido has just jumped to attention and [I]2342-matt ’m happy to comply . [I]2342-matt attack [him]726-his with equal force , thrusting [my]2342-matt tongue into [his]726-his mouth , circling [his]726-his with [mine]2342-matt as [he]726-his lifts [his]726-his grip from [my]2342-matt hands . [They]726-his impulsively fly to those taut , rippling shoulders that [I]2342-matt love so much . Wrapping [his]726-his arm around [my]2342-matt middle , [he]726-his releases [my]2342-matt lips and lifts [me]2342-matt up from the counter , leaving [me]2342-matt hovering above the surface as [his]726-his other hand finds [my]2342-matt knickers and yanks them down [my]2342-matt legs . [He]726-his rests [me]2342-matt back down , removing [my]2342-matt shoes and letting [them]726-his tumble to the tiled floor on a loud clatter . [I]2342-matt join [him]726-his in [his]726-his stripping party , reaching up and pushing [his]726-his shirt down [his]726-his broad shoulders , revealing [his]726-his bare chest in all of its glory . [He]726-his ’s cut to complete perfection . [I]2342-matt want to lick every square inch of [him]726-his . As [I]2342-matt trace [my]2342-matt eyes down , [I]2342-matt recoil slightly at a nasty scar that ’s running across [his]726-his stomach and rounding onto [his]726-his left hip . [I]2342-matt never noticed it before . The light at [The Manor]2356-the manor was dim , but that is one hefty scar . It ’s slightly faded but bloody big . How did [he]726-his get that ? [I]2342-matt elect to not enquire . It could be a sensitive issue , and [I]2342-matt do n’t want anything to upset this moment . [I]2342-matt could just sit here and gawp at [him]726-his forever , even with the scar that looks so sinister , [he]726-his ’s still beautiful . [I]2342-matt scrunch [his]726-his shirt up between [my]2342-matt hands and chuck it on top of [my]2342-matt dress . [He]726-his raises [his]726-his eyebrows at [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll buy [you]729-you a new one . ’ [I]2342-matt shrug . [He]726-his smirks and leans forward , bracing [himself]726-his on the counter and capturing [my]2342-matt lips – all brooding and careful . [I]2342-matt reach for [his]726-his trousers and begin unfastening [his]726-his belt , whipping it out of [his]726-his loop holes in one swift pull , instigating a snapping sound to erupt around [us]2597-us . [He]726-his pulls back on an arched brow . ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]729-you going to whip [me]2342-matt ? ’ Huh ? ‘[729-you] No , ’ [I]729-you answer uncertainly . Does [he]726-his like that sort of stuff ? [I]729-you throw [his]726-his belt to join the pile on the floor and slide [my]729-you hand between [his]726-his tight narrow hips and the waistband of [his]726-his trousers . [I]729-you wrench [him]726-his forward so [we]2597-us ’re[729-you] nose to nose . ‘ Of course , if [you]729-you want [me]2342-matt to … ’[2342-matt] Did [I]2342-matt just say that ? ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll bear that in mind . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says on a half - smile . Obviously , [I]2342-matt did . What ’s got into [me]2342-matt ? Keeping [my]2342-matt eyes firmly on [his]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt start to undo the button on [his]2342-matt trousers , [my]2342-matt knuckles brushing over [his]2342-matt solid erection , causing [him]2342-matt to jerk . [He]2342-matt squeezes [his]2342-matt eyes shut . [I]2342-matt slowly undo [his]2342-matt fly , sliding [my]2342-matt flat hand into [his]2342-matt boxers , grazing across the mass of dark blonde hair . [He]2342-matt shudders , looking up to the ceiling . The muscles on [his]2342-matt chest are rolling and undulating , and [I]2342-matt ca n’t resist leaning forward and flicking [my]2342-matt tongue up the centre of [his]2342-matt chest bone . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [you]832-ava should know that once [I]2342-matt ’ve had [you]832-ava , [you]832-ava ’re[2342-matt] [mine]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] too drunk on lust to take any notice of that statement . ‘ Hmmm . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mumble against [his]2342-matt skin , circling [his]2342-matt nipple with [my]2342-matt tongue and withdrawing [my]2342-matt hand from [his]2342-matt boxers . [I]2342-matt grasp the waist band and ease them down over [his]2342-matt tidy , narrow hips . [His]2342-matt cock springs free . [My]2342-matt God , it ’s huge ! The head is swollen , moist and pointing right at [me]2342-matt . The involuntary gasp that escapes [my]2342-matt mouth is an indication of [my]2342-matt shock . Flicking [my]2342-matt eyes to [his]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt find a small smile tickling the corner of [his]2342-matt mouth , which is all the mortifying evidence [I]2342-matt need to tell [me]2342-matt that [he]2342-matt ’s picked up on [my]2342-matt reaction . [He]2342-matt steps back , kicking [his]2342-matt shoes and socks off before removing [his]2342-matt trousers and boxers . [I]2342-matt ’m instantly drawn to [his]2342-matt powerfully lean thighs . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] dribbling at the magnificence stood before [me]2342-matt in all of its naked glory . [I]2342-matt ca n’t help it . Gathering some of [my]2342-matt shattered confidence , [I]2342-matt reach forward slowly , and gently circle [my]2342-matt thumb over [his]2342-matt tip , watching [him]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt watches [my]2342-matt hand explore [him]2342-matt . When [I]2342-matt tentatively wrap [my]2342-matt hand around the base , [I]2342-matt see [him]2342-matt struggle with the contact . ‘ Shit , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt gasps , resting [his]2342-matt hands on [my]2342-matt hips . [I]2342-matt jerk , and [he]2342-matt smiles . ‘ [Ticklish]112-ticklish ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Just there . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt gasp . Oh , it drives [me]2342-matt mad ! ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll remember that . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says , taking [my]2342-matt lips and working [my]2342-matt mouth urgently as [I]2342-matt begin slow , even strokes of [his]2342-matt hardness , increasing the pace when [I]2342-matt feel [his]2342-matt mouth getting firmer against [mine]2342-matt . [His]2342-matt hand disappears between [my]2342-matt legs , and with one skim of [his]2342-matt thumb over [my]2342-matt beating clitoris , [I]2342-matt ’m suddenly catapulted to [Central Jesse Cloud Nine]113-jesse . [I]730-my gasp into [his]2342-matt mouth . [He]2342-matt bites [my]730-my lip . ‘[730-my] [You]730-my ready ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks urgently . [I]730-my nod , because speech has completely evaded [me]730-my . [He]2342-matt rips [his]2342-matt hand from the apex of [my]730-my thighs and knocks [me]730-my away from [his]2342-matt throbbing arousal . In one measured movement , [he]2342-matt moves [his]2342-matt hands to [my]730-my backside , lifts [me]730-my and impales [me]730-my onto [his]2342-matt waiting length . [OUCH]114-ouch ! Oh [my]730-my God and fucking hell ! ‘[730-my] Okay ? ’ [he]2342-matt pants . ‘[730-my] Are [you]730-my okay ? ’ ‘[730-my] Two seconds . [I]2342-matt need a few seconds . ’ [I]2342-matt wrap [my]2342-matt legs around [him]2342-matt , crying out at the mixture of pleasure and pain . [I]2342-matt know [he]2342-matt ’s not even all of the way in . [Jesus]72-jesus , but [the man]2342-matt is enormous . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] swung around and thrust up against the wall , the coldness of the tiles not bothering [me]2342-matt in the slightest as [I]2342-matt try to adjust [myself]2342-matt to [Jesse]113-jesse ’s hugeness . [He]2342-matt rests [his]2342-matt forehead against [mine]2342-matt , [my]2342-matt hands slipping over [his]2342-matt sweat drenched back as [he]2342-matt holds still for a few moments , giving [me]2342-matt time to adapt to the intrusion . [He]2342-matt pants as [he]2342-matt slowly withdraws from [me]2342-matt , re - entering on a deliberate , steady thrust . This time [he]2342-matt ’s in further and the fullness is making [my]2342-matt head spin . ‘ Can [you]2598-you take more ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks urgently . More ? How much more is there ? [I]2342-matt can do this , [I]2342-matt can do this . [I]2342-matt repeat the mantra over and over as [I]2342-matt adjust to [his]2342-matt size , taking some calming breaths . When [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt ’ve got a handle on it , [I]2342-matt kiss [him]2342-matt slowly , arching [my]2342-matt back and pushing [my]2342-matt breasts into [his]2342-matt chest . [I]2342-matt thrust [myself]2342-matt forward , deepening the connection . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , tell [me]2342-matt [you]832-ava ’re[2342-matt] ready . ’ [he]2342-matt breathes . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m ready . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve never been more ready for anything in [my]2342-matt life . With [my]2342-matt prompt , [he]2342-matt extracts [himself]2342-matt and drives back inside of [me]2342-matt more forcefully . [I]2342-matt sigh , tilting [my]2342-matt hips forward in acceptance as [he]2342-matt growls in appreciation and repeats [his]2342-matt swift thrusts , again and again . ‘ [You]832-ava ’re[2342-matt] [mine]2342-matt now , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]2342-matt breathes on a deep , delicious plunge . [My]832-ava head drops forward to rest on [his]2342-matt . ‘[832-ava] All [mine]2342-matt . ’ In one fast move , [he]2342-matt pulls back and pounds [home]281-home . [I]832-ava scream . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] full to capacity and loving every wonderful bit of it . [I]2342-matt grip [his]2342-matt shoulders as [he]2342-matt increases [his]2342-matt thrusts , slamming into [me]2342-matt , hitting [my]2342-matt womb every time . [I]2342-matt yelp in pleasure when [he]2342-matt finds [my]2342-matt lips , plunging [his]2342-matt tongue into [my]2342-matt mouth in a desperate claim as [our]732-our damp , sweat riddled bodies clash and slide together . [I]2342-matt ’m about to splitter into a million pieces . Holy shit ! [I]733-i ’ve never come during penetrative sex ! ‘[733-i] [You]733-i ’re going to come ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt gasps against [my]2342-matt mouth . ‘ Yes ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout , sinking [my]2342-matt teeth into [his]2342-matt bottom lip . [He]2342-matt moans . It ’s animalistic , but [I]2342-matt ’m losing control here . ‘[2342-matt] Wait for [me]2342-matt . ’ [he]2342-matt demands , pounding harder . [I]832-ava scream , desperately clenching [my]832-ava muscles around [him]2342-matt to try and hold off , but it ’s not working . How long will [he]2342-matt be ? [I]832-ava ca n’t hold on . After three more hard strikes , [he]2342-matt shouts , ‘[832-ava] Now , [Ava]832-ava ! ’ And [I]832-ava burst at [his]2342-matt command , throwing [my]832-ava head back and screaming [his]2342-matt name as [I]832-ava feel hot liquid shoot into [me]832-ava . [He]2342-matt grips [me]832-ava hard , pulling [me]832-ava as close as [he]2342-matt can get [me]832-ava and holding [me]832-ava there , burying [his]2342-matt face in [my]832-ava exposed throat . ‘[832-ava] Oh , fucccckkkkk ! ’ [he]2342-matt groans against [my]832-ava neck . The long , satisfied moan falling from [my]832-ava own lips is symbolic of how [I]832-ava feel right now . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] totally satisfied . [He]734-he slows [his]734-he thrusts to ease [us]735-us both down from [our]735-us incredible highs , and [I]2342-matt hold [him]734-he tight , [my]2342-matt inner muscles contracting around [him]734-he as [he]734-he lazily circles [his]734-he hips . ‘ Look at [me]734-he . ’[734-he] [he]734-he orders softly . [I]2342-matt pull [my]2342-matt head down to look at [him]734-he , sighing happily as [he]734-he searches [my]2342-matt eyes . [He]734-he rolls [his]734-he hips again and plants a kiss on the end of [my]2342-matt nose . ‘ Beautiful . ’[734-he] [he]734-he says simply , cupping the back of [my]2342-matt head and pushing [me]2342-matt towards [him]734-he so [my]2342-matt cheek rests against [his]734-he shoulder . [I]2342-matt could stay like this forever . [My]2342-matt back peels away from the cold wall behind [me]2342-matt and [I]2342-matt ’m carried to the vanity unit with [Jesse]113-jesse still buried deep inside [me]2342-matt , pulsating and twitching . [He]734-he slips out and settles [me]2342-matt on the counter , clasping [his]734-he palms on either side of [my]2342-matt face and bending to kiss [me]2342-matt , [his]734-he lips lingering on [mine]2342-matt in a total display of affection . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt did n’t hurt [you]734-he , did [I]2342-matt ? ’ [he]734-he asks , [his]734-he frown line appearing on [his]734-he forehead . [I]2342-matt dissolve on the spot . [I]2342-matt want to smother [him]734-he in [my]2342-matt arms , so [I]2342-matt do . [I]2342-matt wrap [my]2342-matt whole body around [him]734-he , arms and legs , and cling on to [him]734-he like [my]2342-matt life depends on it . [He]734-he buries [his]734-he face in [my]2342-matt neck and strokes [my]2342-matt back . It ’s the most calming sensation [I]2342-matt ’ve ever felt . [I]2342-matt ca n’t even muster up the energy to feel guilty . [Sarah]54-victoria who ? [We]2600-we remain entwined , a bundle of arms and legs , breathing heavy and holding each other for an age . [I]2342-matt want to stay exactly where [I]2342-matt am . [We]2600-we could – it is [[his]734-he bathroom]2601-his bathroom . [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]734-he ’s brought [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse . After far too short a time , [he]734-he leans back , running the back of [his]734-he knuckles down the side of [my]2342-matt face . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt did n’t use a condom , ’ [he]734-he says with genuine regret in [his]734-he eyes . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sorry , [I]2342-matt got so carried away . [You]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] on birth control , right ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Yes , but the pill does n’t protect [me]2342-matt from [STD]115-std ’s . ’ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] such a numb - nut . [This man]2342-matt is a God with some serious moves . [I]2342-matt dread to think of how [many women [he]2342-matt ’s slept with]737-many women he ’s slept with . [He]2342-matt smiles at [me]2342-matt . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt ’ve always used a condom , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt leans forward , kissing [my]2342-matt forehead . ‘ Except with [you]738-i , ’[2342-matt] Huh ? ‘ Why ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt pulls away and has a little chew on [his]2342-matt bottom lip . ‘ [I]738-i do n’t see straight when [I]738-i ’m[738-i] near [you]738-i . ’ [He]2342-matt puts [his]2342-matt boxers and trousers on , and then reaches over [me]738-i to grab a washcloth from the shelf . [I]738-i ’m[738-i] about to protest , but then [I]2342-matt remember … it ’s [his]2342-matt . Everything in here is [his]2342-matt , except for [me]2342-matt . Well , not according to [him]2342-matt , but that ’s just an impending orgasm talking . The throws of passion can make [you]739-you say some funny things . [He]2342-matt does n’t see straight ? That makes [two of [us]741-us]740-two of us . [He]2342-matt runs the tap , passing the cloth under it and returns to stand before [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt feel exposed , sat here completely naked . This is n’t equal ground . [I]2342-matt close [my]2342-matt legs to conceal [myself]2342-matt , suddenly uncomfortable with [my]2342-matt state of undress , but [he]2342-matt looks at [me]2342-matt , a perplexed look flitting across [his]2342-matt handsome face as [he]2342-matt pouts , reaches between [my]2342-matt legs and spreads them gently . ‘ Better . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt mutters , lifting [my]2342-matt arms from [my]2342-matt lap and placing them on [his]2342-matt shoulders . [He]2342-matt rests the warm , damp cloth on the inside of [my]2342-matt thigh and begins sweeping it up and down , cleaning the remnants of [him]2342-matt away from [me]2342-matt . It ’s a tender act and extremely intimate . [I]2342-matt watch [his]2342-matt face in fascination , noticing the slight crease across [his]2342-matt forehead as [he]2342-matt concentrates with [his]2342-matt procedure of cleaning [me]2342-matt up . [He]2342-matt gazes up at [me]2342-matt , [his]2342-matt green eyes soft and twinkling . ‘ [I]2342-matt want to toss [you]2342-matt in that shower and worship every inch of [you]2342-matt , but this will have to do . For now , anyway . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt leans in and kisses [me]2342-matt , lingering briefly . [I]2342-matt do n’t think [I]2342-matt could ever tire of those simple , affectionate kisses . [His]2342-matt lips are so soft , [his]2342-matt scent divine . ‘ Come on , [lady]2342-matt . Let ’s get [you]2342-matt dressed . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt lifts [me]2342-matt from the counter and helps [me]2342-matt into [my]2342-matt underwear and dress before zipping [me]2342-matt up . [My]2342-matt entire body convulses when [he]2342-matt rests [his]2342-matt lips on the nape of [my]2342-matt neck , [his]2342-matt warm , soft mouth having the hairs on [my]2342-matt neck rising . [I]2342-matt do n’t think [he]2342-matt ’s out of [my]2342-matt system – not at all . This is bad news . [I]2342-matt pick [his]2342-matt pale blue shirt up from floor and shake it out before handing it to [him]2342-matt . ‘ There really was n’t any need to screw it up , was there ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt flicks [me]2342-matt a grin as [he]2342-matt pulls it on , fastening the buttons and tucking it into [his]2342-matt navy trousers . ‘ [Your]2342-matt jacket will cov … ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt abruptly remember tossing that on the floor in [the bedroom]535-the bedroom . ‘ Oh , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt whisper , all wide eyed . ‘ Yes . Oh , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt arches a brow as [he]2342-matt snaps [his]2342-matt belt , making [me]2342-matt flinch and [him]2342-matt grin . ‘ Okay , [you]2342-matt ready to face the music , [lady]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt holds [his]2342-matt hand out to [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt take it without a thought . [The man]2342-matt is a magnet . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’d say quite loud , would n’t [you]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt gape at [him]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt gives [me]2342-matt a full on dazzling smile . [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head , quickly glancing in the mirror . Oh , [I]2342-matt ’m flushed . [My]2342-matt lips are distended and pink , [my]2342-matt hair is still up but with random strands curling down all over the place , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] creased . [I]2342-matt need five minutes to sort [myself]2342-matt out . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] perfect . ’ [he]2342-matt reassures [me]2342-matt , as if sensing the panic rising in [me]2342-matt . Perfect ? Perfect would n’t be a word [I]2342-matt would use . [I]2342-matt look thoroughly fucked ! [He]2342-matt tugs [me]2342-matt to the door , unlocks it and strides out , devoid of wariness , while [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] more cautious . What if [[our]743-we visitors]744-our visitors where still hanging around ? [I]2342-matt see [his]2342-matt jacket still sprawled on the floor , and [he]2342-matt scoops it up as [we]743-we pass . When [we]743-we hit the curving staircase , [I]2342-matt suddenly register [my]2342-matt hand still in [his]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt try to ease it from [his]2342-matt grasp , but [he]2342-matt squeezes it tighter , flashing [me]2342-matt a scowl . Shit ! [He]2342-matt has to let go . [[My]2342-matt boss]745-my boss and [colleagues]746-colleagues are down here . [I]2342-matt ca n’t go prancing through [them]746-colleagues holding hands with [this strange man]2342-matt . Well , [he]2342-matt ’s not very strange to [me]2342-matt now , but that ’s beside the point . [I]2342-matt attempt to free [my]2342-matt hand again , but [he]2342-matt refuses to let it go . ‘ [Jesse]113-jesse , let go of [my]2342-matt hand . ’[2342-matt] ‘ No . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt shoots back , short and firm , and without even looking at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt stop , abruptly , half way down [the stairs]272-the stairs and scan [the room below]748-the room below . [No one]2594-no one is looking at [us]750-us , thank [God]68-god , but it wo n’t be long before [someone]587-someone clocks [us]750-us . [Jesse]113-jesse turns , looking up at [me]2342-matt from a few steps below . ‘ [Jesse]113-jesse , [you]113-jesse ca n’t expect [me]113-jesse to parade through here holding [your]113-jesse hand . That ’s not fair . [Please]116-please , let [me]113-jesse go . ’[113-jesse] [He]2342-matt looks at [our]750-us hands locked together , suspended between [our]750-us bodies . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not letting [you]752-you go , ’ [he]2342-matt murmurs sullenly . ‘[2342-matt] If [I]2342-matt let [you]752-you go , [you]752-you might forget how it feels . [You]752-you might change [your]752-you mind . ’ There is absolutely no chance of [me]752-you forgetting how [we]750-us feel flesh on flesh , but that ’s not the part of [his]2342-matt statement that ’s bothering [me]752-you . ‘[752-you] Change [my]2342-matt mind about what ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask , totally perplexed . ‘[2342-matt] [Me]2342-matt . ’ [he]2342-matt says simply . What about [him]2342-matt ? [My]2342-matt mind has n’t been made up on anything , so there ’s nothing to change . [I]2342-matt need to focus [my]2342-matt attention on persuading [him]2342-matt to release [my]2342-matt hand before [someone]587-someone spots [us]750-us . [I]2342-matt ’ll file that comment , just like [I]2342-matt ’ve filed the other strange comments [he]2342-matt made [upstairs]690-the terrace . Holy shit ! [I]2342-matt nearly fall down [the stairs]690-the terrace when [I]2342-matt see [Sarah]54-victoria breezing across [the terrace]690-the terrace . Reality has just come crashing down around [me]2342-matt . Surely when [he]2342-matt sees [her]54-victoria [he]2342-matt ’ll stop being such [an unreasonable fool]2605-an unreasonable fool . [She]54-victoria ’s heading back inside . [I]2342-matt do n’t have time to fuck about . [I]2342-matt narrow [my]2342-matt eyes on [him]2342-matt and use brute force to yank [my]2342-matt hand from [his]2342-matt , nearly dislocating [my]2342-matt shoulder in the process , but it works . [He]2342-matt scowls at [me]2342-matt , but [I]2342-matt do n’t hang around long enough to take much notice . [I]2342-matt take [the stairs]272-the stairs fast , down to the vast openness of [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse . Even if [she]54-victoria spots [us]2608-us together , [she]54-victoria ’ll be suspect . [The woman]54-victoria has made it obvious that [she]54-victoria dislikes [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt can hardly blame [her]54-victoria . [She]54-victoria saw [me]2342-matt as a threat and as it turns out , [her]54-victoria fear was warranted . [I]2342-matt hit the bottom of [the stairs]272-the stairs and see [Tom]60-tom come running through [the crowd of people]2609-the crowd of people , waving [his]60-tom arms about frantically . ‘[2342-matt] There [you]753-you are ! Where have [you]753-you been ? [Patrick]327-jesse has been looking for [you]753-you everywhere . ’ [He]327-jesse clasps [my]327-jesse shoulders , checking [me]327-jesse up and down , ever the drama queen . Noting [my]327-jesse disheveled state , [he]327-jesse eyes [me]327-jesse suspiciously . [I]327-jesse feel the heat rise in [my]327-jesse cheeks . ‘[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt was giving [Mr Ward]327-jesse a tour . ’ [I]78-darling offer , rather unconvincingly , while waving [my]78-darling hand over [my]78-darling shoulder in the general direction of [Jesse]327-jesse . [I]78-darling know [he]327-jesse ’s close behind [me]78-darling ; [I]78-darling can still feel [him]327-jesse brooding . And [I]78-darling can smell [him]327-jesse too . Mind [you]327-jesse , that could be [his]327-jesse scent all over [me]78-darling . [I]78-darling feel like [I]78-darling ’ve been marked … or claimed , even . With [his]327-jesse hands still clasped on [my]78-darling shoulders , [Tom]60-tom looks past [me]78-darling . [He]60-tom gasps , yanking [me]78-darling closer , so [his]60-tom mouth is at [my]78-darling ear . ‘[78-darling] [Darling]78-darling , who is that divine being growling at [me]2342-matt ? ’ [he]60-tom asks , sniffing [me]60-tom . [I]60-tom struggle out of [his]60-tom hands and turn to see [Jesse]327-jesse drilling holes into [Tom]60-tom . [I]60-tom roll [my]60-tom eyes at [his]60-tom pathetic behavior . [Tom]60-tom ’s [the gayest gay man in [London]5-london]60-tom . [He]60-tom ca n’t possibly be threatened by [him]60-tom . Not that [he]60-tom should be feeling threatened by [anyone]2475-anyone . ‘[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom , this is [Mr Ward]327-jesse . [Mr Ward]327-jesse , [Tom]60-tom . [He]60-tom ’s [a colleague]754-a colleague . [He]60-tom ’s also gay . ’ [I]60-tom add the last bit sarcastically . [Tom]60-tom wo n’t care – not that it is n’t bloody obvious anyway . [I]60-tom look at [Tom]60-tom , who ’s grinning widely , then cast [my]60-tom eyes over to [Jesse]327-jesse , who ’s stopped growling but does n’t look any less pissed . [Tom]60-tom prances forward , grabs [Jesse]327-jesse ’s shoulders and air kisses [him]60-tom . [I]60-tom stifle a laugh , watching as [Jesse]327-jesse ’s eyes bulge and [his]327-jesse shoulder tense . ‘[60-tom] It really is a pleasure , ’ [Tom]60-tom sings in [Jesse]327-jesse ’s face while stroking down [his]60-tom biceps . ‘[2342-matt] Tell [me]2342-matt , do [you]60-tom work out ? ’ A burst of laughter falls from [my]60-tom mouth and , rather immaturely , [I]60-tom decide to leave [Jesse]327-jesse to cope with [Tom]60-tom ’s outrageous flirting on [his]60-tom own . [I]60-tom catch [his]60-tom eyes as [I]60-tom turn to leave , seeing [I]60-tom ’m[60-tom] being thrown daggers . [I]2342-matt could n’t care less . [He]755-he ’s being stupidly unreasonable . [I]2342-matt find [Patrick]327-jesse in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , chatting with [the developer]2330-the developer . [He]755-he waves [me]2342-matt over and hands [me]2342-matt a glass of champagne . It looks like [the car]548-the car will be staying [here]314-here tonight . ‘ Here [she]548-the car is , ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse announces , draping [his]327-jesse arm around [my]2342-matt shoulder and hugging [me]2342-matt against [his]327-jesse big body . ‘ [This girl]548-the car has transformed [my]327-jesse company . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] so proud of [you]760-you , flower . Where have [you]760-you been ? ’ [he]755-he asks , [his]755-he blue eyes twinkling brightly and [his]755-he cheeks bright red – a clear sign that [he]755-he ’s had too much to drink . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve been giving a few tours . ’ [I]2342-matt lie , smiling sweetly as [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] squeezed against [him]327-jesse . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’ve just been talking about [you]760-you . [Your]760-you ears must have been burning , ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse says . No , not [my]2342-matt ears ! ‘ [I]117-mr van der haus was just saying to [Mr Van Der Haus]117-mr van der haus , [you]117-mr van der haus ’ll be more than happy to assist on [their]762-all tall and white blonde , with a bespoke suit and dress shoes new venture . ’[117-mr van der haus] [Mr Van Der Haus]117-mr van der haus ? Oh , [he]117-mr van der haus ’s [the other partner]761-my partner . [I]2342-matt ’ve not met [him]117-mr van der haus . ‘ [[My]2342-matt partner]761-my partner insisted on it . ’[2342-matt] [Van Der Haus]117-mr van der haus says , smiling broadly . [He]117-mr van der haus ’s very classy – [all tall and white blonde , with a bespoke suit and dress shoes]762-all tall and white blonde , with a bespoke suit and dress shoes . [He]117-mr van der haus ’s quite handsome … for [a mid - forties man]763-a mid - forties man – [Another older man]764-another older man . [I]2342-matt blush . ‘ [I]2342-matt would be delighted , [Mr Van Der Haus]117-mr van der haus . What have [you]117-mr van der haus got in mind for the next project ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask eagerly . ‘ Please , call [me]117-mr van der haus [Mikael]118-mikael . [The building]2350-the room is nearly complete , ’[117-mr van der haus] [He]117-mr van der haus broadens [his]117-mr van der haus smile . ‘ [We]765-we have settled on traditional Scandinavian . [We]765-we ’re[117-mr van der haus] going back to [our]765-we roots . ’ [His]117-mr van der haus mild Danish accent is really sexy . Traditional Scandinavian ? Okay , this most definitely panics [me]117-mr van der haus . Does this mean [I]117-mr van der haus ’ll be hijacking [Ikea]119-ikea ? Should n’t [they]2612-they employ [someone Scandinavian]2613-someone scandinavian for this ? ‘[117-mr van der haus] It sounds exciting . ’ [I]2342-matt say , turning to place [my]2342-matt glass on [the worktop]2614-the worktop , spotting [Jesse]327-jesse across [the room]2350-the room with [Sarah]54-victoria as [I]2342-matt do . Oh God . [He]327-jesse ’s drilling holes into [me]2342-matt , and [Sarah]54-victoria ’s stood right bloody there . [I]2342-matt swivel back to face [[my]2342-matt audience]2615-my audience . The panic must be clear on [my]2342-matt burning face . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt think so , ’ [Mikael]118-mikael agrees . ‘[2342-matt] Once [I]2342-matt ’ve discussed a favourable fee with [Patrick]327-jesse , ’ [He]327-jesse points [his]327-jesse champagne glass at [[my]2342-matt boss]745-my boss . ‘[2342-matt] [We]766-we can start building a specification , then [you]767-an exceptionally talented young woman can get started on some designs . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look forward to it . ’ [I]768-i shift on the spot . [I]768-i can still feel [Jesse]327-jesse ’s eyes burning into [my]768-i back . ‘[768-i] [She]768-i wo n’t disappoint [you]767-an exceptionally talented young woman , [Mikael]118-mikael . ’ [Patrick]327-jesse chirps . [He]327-jesse smiles . ‘[118-mikael] [I]2342-matt know [she]768-i wo n’t . [You]767-an exceptionally talented young woman ’re [an exceptionally talented young woman]767-an exceptionally talented young woman , [Ava]832-ava . [Your]767-an exceptionally talented young woman vision is impeccable . Now , if [you]767-an exceptionally talented young woman ’ll excuse [me]2342-matt , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt feel the colour deepening in [my]2342-matt face as [he]769-he shakes [Patrick]327-jesse ’s hand and then [mine]2342-matt . ‘ [I]769-he will be in touch . ’[769-he] [he]769-he says , holding [my]2342-matt hand in [his]769-he , a little longer than necessary , before releasing it , strolling off and greeting [an Arab man]770-an arab man . [I]2342-matt ’m still tucked tightly under [Patrick]327-jesse ’s arm as [Victoria]54-victoria approaches [us]2617-us and leans against the worktop on a huff . ‘[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt feet are killing [me]2342-matt . ’ [she]54-victoria exclaims . In unison , [Patrick]327-jesse and [I]2342-matt look down at [her]54-victoria six inch leopard print platforms with blood red piping . [They]2618-they ’re[2342-matt] ridiculous . [Patrick]327-jesse looks at [me]2342-matt , shaking [his]327-jesse head , before releasing [his]327-jesse hold and declaring [his]327-jesse departure . ‘ [Irene]363-irene will be waiting for [me]327-jesse [downstairs]2323-downstairs . [I]327-jesse ’ve got all the photographs , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse waves [his]327-jesse camera at [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’ll see [you]327-jesse on Monday morning . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse kisses [each of [us]772-us]771-each of us . ‘ [You]327-jesse ’ve both worked hard tonight . Well done . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse takes [his]327-jesse big body out of [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , staggering slightly as [he]327-jesse does . Worked hard ? [I]2342-matt cringe . ‘ Oh , [I]54-victoria nearly forgot , ’[54-victoria] [Victoria]54-victoria drags [my]2342-matt eyes away from [Patrick]327-jesse ’s swaying body , back to [her]54-victoria . ‘ [Kate]2557-kate said [she]2557-kate could n’t wait around for [you]327-jesse anymore , something about ice cream . ’[54-victoria] [She]54-victoria shrugs . ‘ [She]54-victoria said that [she]54-victoria hopes [you]327-jesse ’ve had fun and [she]54-victoria ’ll see [you]327-jesse at [home]281-home . ’[54-victoria] Hopes [I]2342-matt ’ve had fun ? Sardonic cow ! ‘ Thanks , [Victoria]54-victoria . Listen , [I]54-victoria think [we]2621-we ’re[54-victoria] done here . ’ [I]2342-matt pick up one more glass of champagne as [the waiter]2622-the waiter passes . [I]2342-matt ca n’t drive , so [I]2342-matt may as well make the most of it . And damn , [I]2342-matt need it . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m heading [home]281-home . Go when [you]327-jesse ’re[2342-matt] ready . [I]2342-matt ’ll see [you]774-you on Monday . ’ [I]2342-matt kiss [her]775-her cheek . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m going to hang around for a bit with [Tom]60-tom . [He]60-tom wants to go to [Route Sixty]26-route sixty for a dance . ’[775-her] [She]775-her shakes [her]775-her bum . ‘ Be prepared for a late one . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt warn . Once [Tom]60-tom ’s on the dance floor [you]776-you need [a bulldozer]777-a bulldozer to get [him]60-tom off . ‘ No ! [I]60-tom told [him]60-tom , [I]60-tom ca n’t stay late . [I]60-tom ’ve got too much to do tomorrow . And [I]60-tom can hardly walk in these stupid shoes . ’[60-tom] ‘ Good luck with that . Say bye to [Tom]60-tom for [me]775-her . ’[775-her] ‘ [I]775-her will when [I]775-her find [him]60-tom . ’[775-her] [She]775-her limps off in [her]775-her ridiculous heels , leaving [me]2342-matt to finish [my]2342-matt last glass of champagne . [I]2342-matt glance around [the kitchen]308-the place , but [I]2342-matt do n’t see [Jesse]327-jesse or [Sarah]54-victoria . [I]2342-matt ’m relieved . [I]2342-matt do n’t think [I]2342-matt could look [Sarah]54-victoria in the eye . [I]2342-matt need to go and kick [my]2342-matt loser arse around [the house]308-the place for being so weak and easy . [I]2342-matt reach [the penthouse elevator]2543-the penthouse elevator and punch in the code . It ’ll be changed tomorrow for [the new owner]2624-the new owner . [I]2342-matt huff a little burst of laughter . Of course , [Jesse Ward]327-jesse is [the new owner]2624-the new owner . It ’s been one hell of a day . And now that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] alone , [I]2342-matt can feel the foreseeable guilt begin to tumble over [me]2342-matt . Oh , what [a foolish , desperate woman]779-a foolish , desperate woman [I]2342-matt am . ‘ Leaving so soon ? ’[779-a foolish , desperate woman] [My]2342-matt shoulders raise and [I]2342-matt wince at the cold , unfriendly voice of [Sarah]54-victoria . Straightening [my]2342-matt expression , [I]2342-matt turn to face [her]54-victoria . ‘ It ’s been a long and tiring day . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt offer , inwardly cringing at [my]2342-matt own double meaning statement . If only [she]54-victoria knew how long and tiring . [She]54-victoria sips [her]54-victoria champagne while eyeing [me]2342-matt suspiciously . ‘ [You]54-victoria ’re[54-victoria] quite a surprise . ’ [she]54-victoria purrs . [She]54-victoria seems genuine . Is that a compliment ? Oh God , do n’t be nice to [me]54-victoria . [I]54-victoria ’ve just screwed [[her]54-victoria boyfriend]398-her boyfriend in [[his]398-her boyfriend new bathroom]2626-his new bathroom , and now [she]54-victoria ’s being nice ? Or is it [[her]54-victoria bathroom]2626-his new bathroom as well ? Oh heck ! [I]54-victoria want to crawl inside [myself]54-victoria and die . [I]54-victoria ’m[54-victoria] deplorable . [I]2342-matt really do n’t know what to say . ‘ Thank [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt utter , turning back to [the elevator]780-the elevator when it opens . [I]2342-matt need to get out of [this place]310-whoever . ‘ It was n’t a compliment , ’[782-she] [she]782-she says categorically . ‘ [I]2342-matt did n’t think it was . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt retort , without looking at [her]782-she . Obviously , [I]2342-matt was mistaken . ‘ [You]2342-matt know [Jesse]327-jesse owns [this place]310-whoever , right ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt want to ask [her]782-she if [she]782-she ’ll be living here too , but , of course , [I]2342-matt do n’t . ‘ [He]327-jesse mentioned it . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say casually , stepping into the lift and punching the code in . ‘ It was nice to see [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile . [I]2342-matt do n’t know why [I]2342-matt said that , it was n’t nice at all . [I]2342-matt still do n’t like [her]782-she , and [she]782-she ’s made it perfectly clear how [she]782-she feels about [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ca n’t blame [her]782-she . The doors close and [I]2342-matt fall back against the mirrored wall . Shit ! Chapter 10 What ever happened to the simple , single life for [me]2342-matt ? [I]2342-matt ’m such a fuck up . After collecting [my]2342-matt things from [the changing rooms of [the spa]2551-the spa]2627-the changing rooms of the spa , [I]2342-matt dump them in [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car and wander down to [the docks]2630-the docks , sitting [myself]2342-matt on a bench . The hustle and bustle of [the docks]2630-the docks is in full swing as [people]372-people come and go , all looking happy and content . The flowers are in bloom on the elaborate lampposts , spilling over the baskets and cascading down the ornate iron , and the lights from [the building]390-the building all flicker and glow across [the docks]2630-the docks , dancing off of the rippling waves . [I]2342-matt sigh and close [my]2342-matt eyes , listening to the sound of the water lightly lapping at the sides of [the boats]2575-the boats . It ’s rhythmic and relaxing , but [I]2342-matt do n’t think anything will make [me]2342-matt feel better at the moment . [I]2342-matt get [my]2342-matt phone out of [my]2342-matt bag to call [Kate]2557-kate . After letting it ring off , [I]2342-matt leave a message . ‘[2342-matt] Hey , it ’s [me]2342-matt , ’ [I]2557-kate know [I]2557-kate sound forlorn , but [I]2557-kate ca n’t feign chirpiness when [I]2557-kate really do n’t feel it . [I]2557-kate groan . ‘[2557-kate] Oh , [Kate]2557-kate … [I]2342-matt ’ve made a monumental fuck up . [I]2342-matt ’ll be [home]281-home soon . ’ [I]2342-matt drop [my]2342-matt hand to the bench and resolve to the fact that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] pretty damn stupid . What was [I]2342-matt thinking ? [My]2342-matt phone jumps to life in [my]2342-matt hand , and [I]2342-matt connect the call without looking at the display , assuming it will be [Kate]2557-kate . ‘ Hey . ’[784-he] ‘ Where are [you]2557-kate ? ’[784-he] [He]784-he speaks softly down the phone . [I]2342-matt do n’t know whether [my]2342-matt heart sinks because it ’s not [Kate]2557-kate , or just because it is [Jesse]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt do n’t know anything . [My]2342-matt life was resuming rather well , [man]678-man free and commitment free , and now this is going to play on [my]2342-matt conscience . [I]2342-matt ’m [a firm believer in [Karma]120-karma]2634-a firm believer in karma , in which case , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] in big trouble . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] at [home]281-home . ’ [I]2342-matt lie again . It ’s coming naturally these days . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] twiddling [my]2342-matt hair , a sure sign of [my]2342-matt Pinocchio behavior . ‘ Okay . ’[784-he] [he]784-he whispers and hangs up . Oh ? Well , that was easier than [I]2342-matt contemplated . After [I]2342-matt did n’t comply with hand holding orders and abandoned [him]784-he with the gayest of the gay mauling [him]784-he , [I]2342-matt had expected pissed off . So , [he]784-he ’s got what [he]784-he wanted and that ’s it . [I]2342-matt ’m not sure why [I]54-victoria feel so neglected . It ’s what [I]54-victoria had expected , and it ’s no less than [I]54-victoria actually deserve . [His]784-he persistence had worn [me]54-victoria down , but now it ’s out of [my]54-victoria system . Now , [I]54-victoria can get back to [me]54-victoria and [my]54-victoria life . And if [I]54-victoria ’m[54-victoria] lucky , [Sarah]54-victoria wo n’t ever find out about this mild indiscretion . Mild ? It was far from mild . Nevertheless , [Jesse]327-jesse can continue with [his]327-jesse serial seductions and move on to [the next lucky woman]395-a woman , for all [I]2342-matt care . [I]2342-matt ’m sure [Sarah]54-victoria will find out soon enough , just not now . [A woman]395-a woman scorned and after [my]2342-matt blood is the last thing [I]2342-matt need . After sitting and musing for a while , [I]2342-matt reluctantly get up to go and hail [a cab]553-a cab . There ’s only so long [you]2636-you can sit feeling sorry for [yourself]2636-you . [I]2342-matt need to put tonight behind [me]2342-matt fast . [I]2342-matt need to forget about it , eradicate it from [my]2342-matt memory and put it down to experience . [He]327-jesse ’s hazardous . [I]2342-matt know it . As [I]2342-matt turn and look up , [Jesse]327-jesse is stood a few feet away , quietly watching [me]2342-matt . How the hell am [I]2342-matt going to achieve any of [my]2342-matt objectives if [he]327-jesse stalks [me]2342-matt ? Where ’s [Sarah]54-victoria ? [We]2637-we face each other , still and silent , [his]327-jesse face impassive as [he]327-jesse studies [me]2342-matt . And then [I]2342-matt burst into tears . [I]2342-matt do n’t know why , but [I]2342-matt put [my]2342-matt face in [my]2342-matt hands and [I]2342-matt sob . [God]68-god only knows what [he]327-jesse must be thinking . But then [I]2342-matt feel [his]327-jesse warm body swathe [me]2342-matt and [my]2342-matt head rests in the crevasse of [his]327-jesse neck , [my]2342-matt arms , on reflex , reaching under [his]327-jesse to cling onto [him]327-jesse . [We]2637-we say nothing for a long time . [We]2637-we just stand there in each other ’s arms , silent while [he]327-jesse massages the back of [my]2342-matt head with the palm of [his]327-jesse big hand , keeping [me]2342-matt tucked tightly against [his]327-jesse body . There is only a small part of [me]2342-matt wondering where [Sarah]54-victoria is , but [I]2342-matt do n’t dwell on it . [I]2342-matt feel sheltered and safe , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] only mildly alert to the fact that [I]2342-matt should be running away from these arms , not into [them]788-them . [I]2342-matt should be treating [them]788-them with caution , not accepting the comfort [they]788-them ’re giving [me]788-them . Why ca n’t [I]788-them run ? ‘[788-them] How long have [you]327-jesse been stood here ? ’ [I]327-jesse ask when [my]327-jesse sobs have finally abated . ‘[327-jesse] Long enough , ’ [he]327-jesse murmurs . ‘[327-jesse] What ’s all this about a monumental fuck up ? ’ [He]327-jesse squeezes [me]2342-matt tighter . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hope to [God]68-god [you]327-jesse were n’t referring to [me]2342-matt . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt was . ’ [I]327-jesse do n’t beat around [the bush]2638-the bush . It would be pointless . ‘[327-jesse] [You]327-jesse were ? ’ [he]327-jesse sounds surprised and a little pissed , but then a few moments later [he]327-jesse follows it up with , ‘[327-jesse] Will [you]327-jesse come [home]281-home with [me]2342-matt ? ’ [I]327-jesse feel [him]327-jesse tense slightly . [I]327-jesse ’ve just told [him]327-jesse that [he]327-jesse ’s [my]327-jesse monumental fuck up , and [he]327-jesse wants to take [me]327-jesse [home]281-home ? What about [Sarah]54-victoria ? [They]2639-they obviously do n’t live together then . ‘[327-jesse] No . ’ [I]832-ava answer . What [I]832-ava ’ve done already is bad enough . ‘[832-ava] Please , [Ava]832-ava . ’ ‘[832-ava] Why ? ’ [I]832-ava ask . [I]832-ava need to know what [his]327-jesse fascination is with [me]832-ava , because if [I]832-ava spend any more time with [this man]327-jesse , [I]832-ava may be in even more trouble . [I]832-ava ca n’t be getting caught up in sordid affairs with [older , unavailable men]2640-older , unavailable men . Although , exactly how old is still to be determined . There is something about [this man]327-jesse , and it ’s screaming bad news . [He]327-jesse pulls back to look down at [me]832-ava , [his]327-jesse beautiful brow furrowed . ‘[832-ava] It feels right . [You]791-you belong with [me]2342-matt . ’ [He]327-jesse says it like it ’s the most natural thing in [the world]516-the world . ‘[832-ava] So , who does [Sarah]54-victoria belong with ? ’ ‘[54-victoria] [Sarah]54-victoria ? What ’s [she]54-victoria got to do with anything ? ’ [He]327-jesse looks really confused now . ‘[121-girlfriend] [Girlfriend]121-girlfriend , ’ [I]121-girlfriend remind [him]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse really has no regard for [the poor woman]121-girlfriend . [His]327-jesse eyes bulge . ‘[121-girlfriend] Oh , please do n’t tell [me]2342-matt [you]121-girlfriend ’ve been ignoring [my]2342-matt calls and running away because [you]121-girlfriend thought … ’ [He]327-jesse releases [me]121-girlfriend . ‘[121-girlfriend] [You]121-girlfriend thought [me]2342-matt and [Sarah]54-victoria were … ’ [He]327-jesse steps back . ‘[121-girlfriend] Oh , fucking hell , no ! ’ ‘[121-girlfriend] Yes ! ’ [I]54-victoria exclaim . ‘[54-victoria] [She]54-victoria ’s not ? ’ Oh , now [I]54-victoria ’m[54-victoria] really confused . [The woman]54-victoria could n’t have made [her]54-victoria claim any clearer if [she]54-victoria ’d have pissed all over [him]121-girlfriend . Who the hell is [she]54-victoria then ? Oh , [I]2342-matt really do n’t like [her]54-victoria now . [His]121-girlfriend hands delve into [his]121-girlfriend hair . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , whatever made [you]832-ava think that ? ’[121-girlfriend] Is [he]121-girlfriend winding [me]2342-matt up ? ‘ Oh , let [me]2342-matt see , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile sweetly . ‘ Maybe it was the kiss in [the hallway of [The Manor]2356-the manor]2642-the hallway of the manor . Or when [she]54-victoria came looking for [you]832-ava in [the bedroom]535-the bedroom . Or it could be [her]54-victoria frosty reception to [me]2342-matt , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt draw breath . ‘ Or , perhaps , it ’s the fact that [she]54-victoria ’s with [you]832-ava every time [I]2342-matt see [you]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe this . [I]2342-matt ’ve been beating [myself]2342-matt up about this , and over [a woman that [I]2342-matt really do n’t like]792-that woman . What a waste of conscience ! ‘ Who is [she]792-that woman ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask , completely riled . [He]2342-matt holds [my]2342-matt hands , leaning down so [his]2342-matt eyes are level with [mine]2342-matt . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [she]832-ava ’s a little friendly . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Friendly ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scoff . ‘ [That woman]792-that woman is not friendly ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ [She]792-that woman ’s [a friend]2645-a friend . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says soothingly . [I]2342-matt do n’t want soothing . No , [I]2342-matt want to pop some pouty red lips ! [She]792-that woman knew exactly what [she]792-that woman was doing . [She]792-that woman , clearly , wants to be more than [friends]2512-friends . [He]2342-matt brushes [his]2342-matt palm down [my]2342-matt cheek . ‘ Now [we]2646-we ’ve clarified [Sarah]54-victoria ’s position in [my]2342-matt life , can [we]2646-we talk about [yours]795-you ? ’[2342-matt] What ? [I]2342-matt recoil . ‘ What do [you]795-you mean ? ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt previous comments suddenly embed [themselves]794-themselves into [my]2342-matt mind . All of the , [you]795-you ’re [mine]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt ’ll keep [you]795-you and [you]795-you ’ll change [your]795-you mind . [He]2342-matt smirks . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mean in [my]2342-matt bed and under [me]2342-matt . ’ [He]2342-matt yanks [me]2342-matt into [his]2342-matt chest , and [I]2342-matt resume nuzzle , sagging with relief . That sounds good to [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’ve just added a steaming hot affair with [an older man]327-jesse to [my]2342-matt bucket list , just so [I]2342-matt can tick it off . No commitment , no tying down . This suits [me]2342-matt fine . Although , [I]2342-matt doubt [I]2342-matt would get either of the aforementioned from [this man]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] At [The Manor]2356-the manor ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . It ’s quite a drive . ‘[2342-matt] No , [I]2342-matt ’ve [an apartment]797-an apartment behind [me]2342-matt , but [I]2342-matt ca n’t move in until tomorrow . [I]2342-matt ’m renting [a place on [Hyde Park]27-hyde park]2648-a place on hyde park . [You]799-you ’ll come . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t hesitate , but [I]2342-matt ’m aware that it was n’t a question . And [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] also mindful of [his]798-his previous comments , especially [his]798-his last one : [You]799-you belong with [me]2342-matt . Is that [his]798-his decision , or [mine]2342-matt ? [He]798-his sighs , applying more pressure to [my]2342-matt head and back . Yes , proceed with extreme caution , [Ava]832-ava . [We]800-we travel in silence , except for the low tones of [Massive Attack ’s Teardrops]28-massive attack ’s teardrops filtering out of [his]798-his car sound system . How fitting after [my]2342-matt sobbing fit . [I]2342-matt spend most of the journey deliberating on [my]2342-matt decision to come [home]281-home with [Jesse]327-jesse , while [he]327-jesse repeatedly draws breath , as if intending to say something but deciding against it . [He]327-jesse pulls [his]327-jesse Aston [Martin]122-aston martin into [a gated car park]802-a gated car park , and [I]2342-matt let [myself]2342-matt out . Popping [his]327-jesse boot and grabbing [my]2342-matt bags , [he]327-jesse takes [my]2342-matt hand and leads [me]2342-matt into [the building]390-the building . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] on the first floor . [We]804-we ’ll take the stairs , it ’s quicker . ’ [He]327-jesse guides [me]327-jesse through a grey fire door , into [the stairwell]390-the building and up a flight of stairs . [We]804-we exit into [a narrow corridor]2649-a narrow corridor . It looks like [a specialist hospital facility]2650-a specialist hospital facility . [Jesse]327-jesse unlocks the only other door in the long expanse of white and grey , ushers [me]327-jesse in , and [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] immediately stood in a large open plan area . It ’s white from top to bottom , with black furniture and a black kitchen , monochrome to the absolute maximum – [a real guy]805-a real guy ’s pad . It looks empty , cold and clinical . [I]2342-matt hate it . ‘ It ’s [a pit stop]2651-a pit stop . [I]2342-matt bet [you]806-i ’re[2342-matt] really offended . ’ [His]327-jesse eyes glow and [he]327-jesse smiles , no doubt at [my]2342-matt critical face . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt prefer [your]806-i new place . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [Me]2342-matt too , ’ [I]2342-matt wander further into [the apartment]314-here , scrutinising the lack of warmth and cosiness . How does [he]327-jesse live [here]314-here ? There are no personal touches , no paintings or photographs . [I]2342-matt notice a snowboard propped up in the corner , with various skiing equipment piled around [it]314-here . On the side board , where [I]2342-matt would expect to see vases or ornaments , there ’s a motorcycle helmet and some leather gloves . That ’s a surprise . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t keep alcohol . Do [you]806-i want some water ? ’ [He]327-jesse strolls over to the huge , black fridge and pulls it open . ‘[806-i] Please . ’ [I]806-i join [him]327-jesse in the [kitchen area]2653-the island , pulling out a black bar stool from under the black granite worktop of [the island]2653-the island . [Jesse]327-jesse removes [his]327-jesse suit jacket and perches on the adjacent stool , turning to face [me]806-i and handing [me]806-i a glass of water before [he]327-jesse unscrews the cap of a bottle for [himself]327-jesse . [His]327-jesse long , muscled legs are straining against [his]327-jesse trousers , [his]327-jesse feet flat on the floor , but [his]327-jesse legs considerably bent , considering the height of the stool . [My]806-i feet are propped on the footrest . [He]327-jesse sips [his]327-jesse water , looking at [me]806-i over the bottle , while [I]806-i fiddle with [my]806-i glass . [I]806-i feel incredibly uncomfortable . [I]806-i should n’t have come . Things have become awkward and [I]806-i ’m[806-i] not sure why . There is one reason and one reason alone why [he]807-he ’s brought [me]2342-matt here . And like [the idiot that [I]2342-matt am]808-the idiot that i am , [I]2342-matt ’ve gone along with it . [I]2342-matt hear [him]807-he sigh . [He]807-he places [his]807-he bottle down before [he]807-he takes [my]2342-matt glass from [my]2342-matt hand and puts it on [the island worktop]809-the island worktop . Grasping the seat of [my]2342-matt stool , [he]807-he drags it closer to [his]807-he , turning it to face [him]807-he , resting [his]807-he palms on [my]2342-matt knees . [He]807-he leans in . ‘ Why did [you]810-you cry ? ’[807-he] [he]807-he asks . ‘ [I]807-he do n’t know . ’[807-he] [I]2342-matt answer honestly . The whole episode caught [me]2342-matt off guard , if [I]2342-matt ’m honest . There ’s no reason for [me]2342-matt to be blubbering all over [him]807-he . [I]2342-matt feel pretty stupid . ‘[2342-matt] Yes , [you]810-you do . Tell [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt consider what [I]2342-matt should say , while [his]807-he eyes probe [mine]2342-matt , waiting for [me]2342-matt to answer . The light crease appears across [his]807-he brow , and [I]2342-matt realise now that it ’s a concentration slash concern frown . What should [I]2342-matt tell [him]807-he ? That [I]2342-matt ’ve just come out of a four year relationship with [a bloke who persistently cheated on [me]2342-matt]2654-a bloke who persistently cheated on me ? That over the last four weeks , since calling it a day , [I]2342-matt ’ve re - established [my]2342-matt identity and [I]2342-matt do n’t want [a man]340-a man to rob it again ? That [my]2342-matt trust in [men]2420-men is zero and the fact that [he]340-a man is , quite clearly , [a prince of seduction]340-a man spells trouble for [me]2342-matt ? Oh , and finally , [I]2342-matt know deep down that this could all end very messily for [me]2342-matt – not [him]807-he . But [he]807-he wo n’t want to hear any of that girly nonsense . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know . ’ [I]2342-matt repeat [myself]2342-matt instead . [He]807-he sighs , [his]807-he frown morphing into a scowl as [he]807-he taps [his]807-he fingers on the granite a few times . [I]2342-matt can , quite literally , see the cogs of [his]807-he mind grinding as [he]807-he looks at [me]2342-matt , chewing [his]807-he bottom lip . ‘[2342-matt] Would [I]2342-matt be right in saying that [your]811-your misinterpretation of [mine]2342-matt and [Sarah]54-victoria ’s relationship was n’t the only reason [you]812-you were avoiding [me]2342-matt ? ’ [he]807-he asks , but it ’s more like a statement than a question . [He]807-he unclasps [his]807-he Rolex and slides it onto the worktop . ‘[2342-matt] Probably , ’ [I]2342-matt look away from [him]807-he , a little ashamed – [I]2342-matt do n’t know why . How does [he]807-he know that , anyway ? ‘[2342-matt] That ’s disappointing . ’ [he]807-he states conclusively , but [I]2342-matt ca n’t hear the disappointment in [his]807-he voice . All [I]2342-matt hear is annoyance . [I]2342-matt do n’t need to tell [him]807-he that [I]2342-matt could , very possibly , fall hard for [him]807-he . [Women]348-women must fall hard for [him]807-he on a daily basis . [I]2342-matt recoil slightly when [he]807-he grabs [my]2342-matt jaw and tugs [my]2342-matt face back to [his]807-he . The hollow at [his]807-he cheekbones confirm [my]2342-matt thoughts . [He]807-he ’s gritting [his]807-he teeth . [He]807-he ’s angry ? What did [he]807-he bloody expect ? For [me]2342-matt to drop to [my]2342-matt knees and kiss [his]807-he feet ? [He]807-he ’s obviously use it to . It was just sex , was n’t it ? [We]2658-we both needed to get each other out [our]2658-we systems , and there was an opportunity to do just that . [We]2658-we took the opportunity , that ’s all . [He]807-he ’s not out of [your]813-your system ! Oh bloody hell . [I]2342-matt do n’t think [he]807-he will be any time soon either – if ever . [He]807-he ’s already under [my]2342-matt skin . ‘[2342-matt] What did [you]813-your want [me]2342-matt to say ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . [He]807-he releases [my]2342-matt jaw , letting out a frustrated sigh , and before [I]2342-matt know what ’s hit [me]2342-matt , [he]807-he grabs [me]2342-matt and tosses [me]2342-matt onto [the worktop]2614-the worktop , sending [my]2342-matt glass of water crashing to the tiled floor . The glass shatters loudly around [us]2660-us . [My]2342-matt legs are spread with [his]807-he thighs , causing [my]2342-matt dress to ride up , and [he]807-he attacks [my]2342-matt mouth with [his]807-he inexorable tongue , plunging deep and meaningfully . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] slightly taken aback by [his]814-his impulsive assault , but [I]2342-matt ’m powerless to stop [him]814-his , in physical strength and in mental strength . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] instantly plagued by blazing goose bumps and hot wetness at [my]2342-matt core , as [he]814-his thrusts [his]814-his hips hard while consuming [my]2342-matt mouth . [He]814-his cups [my]2342-matt bum , pulling [me]2342-matt closer , keeping [his]814-his groin tight against [me]2342-matt . Oh , holy shit ! [I]2342-matt groan as [his]814-his hips roll , unashamed for [him]814-his to know that [I]2342-matt ’m turned on like a thousand watt light bulb . Releasing [my]2342-matt lips , [he]814-his stares at [me]2342-matt , breathing hard with brazen hunger shining from [his]814-his green pools . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] certain [my]2342-matt eyes are matching [his]814-his . ‘ Let ’s establish some things here , ’[814-his] [he]814-his pants through short breaths . [He]814-his pulls [me]2342-matt off of the worktop so [I]2342-matt ’m straddling [his]814-his waist . [He]814-his stares at [me]815-a shit liar . ‘[815-a shit liar] [You]815-a shit liar ’re [a shit liar]815-a shit liar . ’[815-a shit liar] Yes , this [I]2342-matt know . [[My]2342-matt Mum]577-mum and [Dad]581-dad tell [me]2342-matt all the time . [I]2342-matt twiddle [my]2342-matt hair when [I]2342-matt lie . It ’s involuntary – [I]2342-matt ca n’t help it . What else are [we]817-we establishing because [I]2342-matt ’m burning up on pleasure here ? [He]815-a shit liar leans in and kisses [my]815-a shit liar lips , softly stroking [my]815-a shit liar tongue with [his]815-a shit liar . ‘[815-a shit liar] [You]815-a shit liar ’re [mine]815-a shit liar now , [Ava]832-ava . ’[815-a shit liar] [He]815-a shit liar rolls [his]815-a shit liar hips , causing [me]2342-matt to shift upwards and tense to relieve [myself]2342-matt of the relentless buzzing at [my]2342-matt core . [We]817-we ’re face to face . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m keeping [you]815-a shit liar forever . ’[815-a shit liar] [he]815-a shit liar informs [me]2342-matt on a thrust of [his]815-a shit liar hips . [I]2342-matt close [my]2342-matt arms around [his]815-a shit liar shoulders and kiss [him]815-a shit liar on [his]815-a shit liar lush , moist lips , [my]2342-matt way of saying , okay . [I]2342-matt ’m desperate for [him]815-a shit liar all over again . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] in so much trouble . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to possess every.single.part.of.you , ’ [He]815-a shit liar punctuates each word clearly and sharply . ‘[2342-matt] There will be nowhere on this beautiful body that wo n’t have had [me]2342-matt in it , on it or over it . ’ [His]815-a shit liar voice is carnal and deadly serious , which only serves to increase [my]815-a shit liar heart rate a little more . Every single bit , though ? Should [I]815-a shit liar look further into that ? [I]815-a shit liar do n’t get a chance to . [I]815-a shit liar ’m[815-a shit liar] lowered to [my]2342-matt feet and spun around before [he]815-a shit liar yanks the zipper of [my]2342-matt poor , mistreated dress down . [My]2342-matt bra is removed and tossed aside just as quickly . Leaning down , [he]815-a shit liar kisses the nape of [my]2342-matt exposed neck , blowing [his]815-a shit liar cool , minty breath across it , instigating a delightful shiver from the mixture of heat from is tongue and the coolness of [his]815-a shit liar breath . Christ , [I]2342-matt ’m buzzing all over . [I]2342-matt flex [my]2342-matt neck , rolling [my]2342-matt shoulder blades to alleviate the tingles that are riddling [my]2342-matt entire body . [He]815-a shit liar moves [his]815-a shit liar mouth to [my]2342-matt ear . ‘[2342-matt] Face [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt do as [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] told , turning back around to look at [him]815-a shit liar , finding an expression of pure determination as [he]815-a shit liar lifts [me]2342-matt back onto [the island]2653-the island . [I]2342-matt rest [my]2342-matt hands on [his]815-a shit liar shoulders , but [he]815-a shit liar grasps them , and [I]2342-matt reluctantly let [him]815-a shit liar guide them down to the worktop so [I]2342-matt ’m gripping the edge . ‘[815-a shit liar] The hands stay here . ’ [he]815-a shit liar says firmly as [he]815-a shit liar releases them , backing up [his]815-a shit liar demand with that confident tone . [He]815-a shit liar hooks [his]815-a shit liar fingers in the top of [my]815-a shit liar knickers and tugs at [them]2661-them . ‘[815-a shit liar] Lift . ’ [I]2342-matt push [my]2342-matt weight onto [my]2342-matt arms , lifting [my]2342-matt backside off of the worktop so [he]815-a shit liar can draw them down [my]2342-matt legs , lowering [myself]2342-matt back down when [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] free from the constraints of [my]2342-matt underwear . [I]2342-matt ’m stark naked , and [he]815-a shit liar ’s still fully dressed . And [he]815-a shit liar does n’t look like [he]815-a shit liar has any intention of removing [his]815-a shit liar clothes anytime soon . [I]2342-matt want to see that chest . [I]2342-matt move [my]2342-matt hands from the edge of the counter to the hem of [his]815-a shit liar shirt . [He]815-a shit liar steps back , shaking [his]815-a shit liar head slowly . ‘[2342-matt] Hands , ’ [I]2342-matt pout , returning [my]2342-matt hands to the worktop edge . [I]2342-matt want to see [him]815-a shit liar , feel [him]815-a shit liar . This is not fair . [He]815-a shit liar positions [his]815-a shit liar hands on [his]815-a shit liar top button . ‘[2342-matt] [You]819-you want [me]2342-matt to remove [my]2342-matt shirt ? ’ [His]815-a shit liar low , husky voice is playing havoc with [my]2342-matt discipline . ‘[2342-matt] Yes . ’ [I]2342-matt breathe . ‘[2342-matt] Yes , what ? ’ [he]815-a shit liar smirks at [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt narrow [my]2342-matt eyes on [him]815-a shit liar . ‘[2342-matt] Please . ’ [I]2342-matt grate , in a long drawn out breath , well aware that [he]815-a shit liar ’s getting a thrill from making [me]2342-matt beg . [He]815-a shit liar smiles as [he]815-a shit liar slowly unbuttons [his]815-a shit liar shirt , keeping [his]815-a shit liar eyes fixed firmly on [me]2342-matt . It takes every bit of effort not to reach forward and yank it open . Why is [he]815-a shit liar making such a meal of this ? [He]815-a shit liar knows what [he]815-a shit liar ’s doing . [He]815-a shit liar ’s making [me]2342-matt wait . It ’s torturous . When [he]815-a shit liar finally gets to the last button , [he]815-a shit liar rolls [his]815-a shit liar shoulders , pulling [his]815-a shit liar shirt off . For the briefest moment - when both arms are flexed back , [his]815-a shit liar muscles bulging and rippling with [his]815-a shit liar movement - [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt might pass out . [He]815-a shit liar kicks [his]815-a shit liar tan [Grensons]123-grensons off and removes [his]815-a shit liar socks . [He]815-a shit liar ’s naked except for [his]815-a shit liar trousers . [I]2342-matt run [my]2342-matt eyes over [his]815-a shit liar perfect physic , [my]2342-matt mouth watering , until [I]2342-matt see that vicious mar on [his]815-a shit liar abdomen . [My]2342-matt eyes pause on it momentarily , but [he]815-a shit liar positions [himself]815-a shit liar back between [my]2342-matt legs , snapping [me]2342-matt from [my]2342-matt curiosity . [I]2342-matt fight the urge to grab [him]815-a shit liar . The pressure on [my]2342-matt core has [me]2342-matt shifting on the counter to ease the immense spasms searing through [me]2342-matt . And [he]815-a shit liar ’s not unaffected [himself]815-a shit liar . [His]815-a shit liar huge erection is straining against the front of [his]815-a shit liar trousers , pressing hard into [my]2342-matt thigh . [He]815-a shit liar rests [his]815-a shit liar hands so they span the tops of [my]2342-matt legs , [his]815-a shit liar thumbs on [my]2342-matt inside thigh slowly circling , millimetres from [my]2342-matt aching core . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] raw with pure lust , [my]2342-matt rapid breathing becoming increasingly difficult to regulate . [He]820-he squeezes [my]2342-matt thighs . ‘ Where to start ? ’[820-he] [he]820-he muses , lifting one hand and running [his]820-he thumb across [my]2342-matt bottom lip . ‘ Here ? ’[820-he] [he]820-he asks . [My]2342-matt lips part . [He]820-he watches [me]2342-matt as [he]820-he slides [his]820-he thumb into [my]2342-matt mouth , and [I]2342-matt circle it with [my]2342-matt tongue , [his]820-he lips lifting at the corners in a diminutive smile . [He]820-he withdraws [his]820-he thumb , running it across [my]2342-matt cheek , then , very slowly , [he]820-he strokes [his]820-he flat palm down [my]2342-matt neck and onto [my]2342-matt pumping chest before cupping [my]2342-matt breast possessively . ‘ Or here ? ’[820-he] [His]820-he husky voice is betraying [his]820-he calm façade as [he]820-he raises a questioning eyebrow at [me]2342-matt , circling [my]2342-matt nipple with [his]820-he thumb . [I]2342-matt gasp . If [he]820-he ’s expecting [me]2342-matt to talk , then [he]820-he can forget it . Speech has totally eluded [me]2342-matt , being replaced with short , sharp breaths . ‘ These are [mine]2342-matt . ’[820-he] [He]820-he gently kneads [my]2342-matt breast for a few moments before recommencing [his]820-he hand stroke down [my]2342-matt sensitive skin . [He]820-he spends a few seconds making big circles on [my]2342-matt stomach before [he]820-he continues downwards . As the heat of [his]820-he hand reaches the inside of [my]2342-matt thigh , [I]2342-matt force [myself]2342-matt to breathe . [I]2342-matt ’m struggling and feeling dizzy with lust Just when [I]2342-matt think [he]820-he ’s going to claim [me]2342-matt with [his]820-he fingers , [he]820-he swiftly changes direction , running [his]820-he hand around [my]2342-matt hip , causing [me]2342-matt to jerk . [He]820-he cups [my]2342-matt arse . ‘[2342-matt] Or here ? ’ [He]820-he ’s completely serious . [I]832-ava go rigid . ‘[832-ava] Every single inch , [Ava]832-ava , ’ [he]820-he breathes . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] holding [my]2342-matt breath , [my]2342-matt lungs burning , as [he]821-he smiles a little , [his]821-he hand starting to drift back around to [my]2342-matt front . [He]821-he does n’t mess about – [he]821-he cups [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]821-he think [I]821-he ’ll start here . ’[821-he] [I]2342-matt release [my]2342-matt breath in a thankful rush , relief swamping [my]2342-matt entire being . [He]821-he taps [his]821-he finger under [my]2342-matt chin so [I]2342-matt ’m forced to look up into [his]821-he sludgy eyes . ‘[821-he] But [I]2342-matt did mean every inch . ’ [he]821-he affirms coolly , before placing [his]821-he hand on the worktop besides [my]821-he thigh , [his]821-he other hand still cupping [my]821-he core . Fuck ! [I]821-he ’m[821-he] not sure if [I]2342-matt ’m up for that . [Matt]2342-matt had tried a few times . It was a flat no fucking way ! More pleasurable route , [I]822-you think [he]821-he said – yes , for [him]821-he ! [I]822-you do n’t have long to mood over it . [I]822-you feel [Jesse]327-jesse ’s finger run up the centre of [my]822-you core , generating flashes of pleasure that jet off in a million different directions around [my]822-you body . [I]822-you slump forward , resting [my]822-you forehead on [his]822-you shoulder as [my]822-you upper body rolls up and down in time to [my]822-you thumping heartbeat . ‘[822-you] [You]822-you ’re drenched , ’[822-you] [he]822-you rumbles low in [my]2342-matt ear as [he]822-you plunges a finger into [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt immediately tighten [my]2342-matt muscles around it . ‘ You.want.me . ’[822-you] [he]822-you states firmly , withdrawing and spreading the wetness over [my]2342-matt clit before surging forward again with two fingers . [I]2342-matt cry out . ‘ Tell [me]2342-matt [you]822-you want [me]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt want [you]822-you . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt pant against [his]822-you shoulder . [I]2342-matt hear a groan of satisfaction . ‘ Tell [me]2342-matt [you]822-you need [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt would tell [him]822-you anything [he]822-you wants to hear at this point – absolutely anything . ‘ [I]2342-matt need [you]822-you . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]822-you ’ll always need [me]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to make sure of it . Now , let ’s see if [we]823-me can fuck some sense into [you]824-you . ’ Sense ? What ’s [he]822-you on about ? [He]822-you withdraws [his]822-you fingers from [me]823-me and pulls [me]823-me down from [the worktop]2614-the worktop , turning [me]823-me slowly in [his]822-you arms . [My]823-me hands find the flat surface of the granite . [I]823-me ’m[823-me] not happy with this position . ‘ [I]2342-matt want to see [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt moan , although [I]2342-matt do n’t fancy [my]2342-matt chances . [He]2342-matt seems like the dominant type . [I]2342-matt feel [his]2342-matt body closing in on [me]2342-matt , the heat pouring out of [him]2342-matt and into [me]2342-matt . When the firmness of [his]2342-matt chest presses up against [my]2342-matt back , [I]2342-matt lean on [him]2342-matt , the back of [my]2342-matt head resting on [his]2342-matt shoulder . [He]2342-matt turns [his]2342-matt mouth into [my]2342-matt ear . ‘ Shut up and soak up the pleasure . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt pushes [his]2342-matt hips into the small of [my]2342-matt back and slowly grinds into [me]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt reaches forward , placing [his]2342-matt hands on [my]2342-matt wrists . ‘ No talking unless [I]2342-matt tell [you]825-a man who likes to be in control . [You]825-a man who likes to be in control got that ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt nod . This is definitely [a man who likes to be in control]825-a man who likes to be in control . [He]2342-matt begins a slow , languid jaunt up [my]2342-matt arms with [his]2342-matt talented fingers , leaving [my]2342-matt skin prickling in [their]826-their wake , spreading fire through [my]2342-matt veins . [My]2342-matt breasts ache for [his]2342-matt touch as [he]2342-matt reaches the tops of [my]2342-matt arms and moves onto [my]2342-matt shoulders . [I]2342-matt clamp [my]2342-matt lips together , but a moan escapes . [I]2342-matt ca n’t help it , not when [he]2342-matt ’s making [me]2342-matt feel like this . [His]2342-matt hands span [my]2342-matt shoulders entirely , and [he]2342-matt begins circling [his]2342-matt thumbs into the base of [my]2342-matt neck , working out the stiffness that ’s looming there . The feeling is out of [this world]827-this world . [My]2342-matt body is relaxed and [my]2342-matt mind serene . Lowering [his]2342-matt mouth to [my]2342-matt neck , [he]2342-matt brushes [his]2342-matt lips over [my]2342-matt skin before kissing [me]2342-matt gently . ‘ [Your]2342-matt skin is addictive . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Hmmm . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt purr . That ’s not talking . [He]2342-matt laughs softly . ‘ This good ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks , trailing feather soft kisses up and down [my]2342-matt jaw . [I]2342-matt turn [my]2342-matt face in towards [him]2342-matt , meeting [him]2342-matt square in the eye . [I]2342-matt nod again . [He]2342-matt soaks up [my]2342-matt gaze for a few seconds , [his]2342-matt expression contented , before planting a soft kiss on [my]2342-matt lips and letting [his]2342-matt hands work [their]828-their way down to [my]2342-matt hips . [I]2342-matt clench [my]2342-matt eyes shut , trying [my]2342-matt hardest not to jolt forward . ‘ Keep [your]2342-matt hands where they are . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt orders firmly , releasing [his]2342-matt hold of [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt hear the sounds of [his]2342-matt trousers being removed before [his]2342-matt hands are back on [my]2342-matt hips . [He]2342-matt ’s steps back from [me]2342-matt , slowly taking [my]2342-matt hips with [him]2342-matt . [My]2342-matt pulse accelerates and [I]2342-matt shift [my]2342-matt grip on the worktop to support [myself]2342-matt in [my]2342-matt braced position . [I]2342-matt flinch when [his]2342-matt hand cups the base of [my]2342-matt neck , feeling [his]2342-matt erection nudging at [my]2342-matt opening . In an attempt to stabilise [my]2342-matt breathing , [I]2342-matt draw a long breath , trying to relax as [I]2342-matt linger on the brink of penetration . This is the worst kind of torture . [He]2342-matt leans forward , [his]2342-matt warm , wet tongue connecting with [my]2342-matt back , licking a straight line up the centre of [my]2342-matt spine , finishing with a soft kiss on the base of [my]2342-matt neck . ‘ Are [you]2663-you ready for [me]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks against [my]2342-matt skin , the vibration of [his]2342-matt lips sending tremors of pleasure straight to [my]2342-matt core . ‘ [You]832-ava can answer . ’[2342-matt] Despite [my]2342-matt breathing exercises , [I]2342-matt ’m still short of breath . ‘[2342-matt] Yes . ’ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] virtually panting . The rush of air that escapes [his]2342-matt mouth is thorough appreciation . [I]2342-matt feel [his]2342-matt hand brush against [my]2342-matt bum as [he]2342-matt positions [himself]2342-matt , then , very slowly , [he]2342-matt breaches [my]2342-matt pulsing void , plunging in smoothly and controlled . [His]2342-matt breathing is laboured , and [I]2342-matt want to scream in pleasure , but [I]2342-matt ’m not sure that it ’s allowed . Oh , this is good . What will [he]2342-matt do if [I]832-ava disobey [him]2342-matt , anyway ? [My]832-ava loss will be [his]2342-matt loss too . [He]2342-matt repositions [his]2342-matt hand back on [my]832-ava hip and stills . [My]832-ava grip tightens on the counter until [my]832-ava knuckles are bloodless , and [I]832-ava find [myself]832-ava pushing back against [him]2342-matt , taking [him]2342-matt to the hilt . ‘[832-ava] Fuck , [Ava]832-ava , [you]832-ava turn [me]2342-matt inside out . ’ [he]2342-matt groans , [his]2342-matt hand tightening around [my]832-ava neck , holding [me]832-ava in place , [his]2342-matt other leaving [my]832-ava hip and reaching around to cup [my]832-ava breast . ‘[832-ava] [I]2342-matt ca n’t do this slow . ’ [he]2342-matt pants as [he]2342-matt moulds [me]327-jesse . [He]2342-matt withdraws slowly and advances , hard and fast , in one swift lash , jolting [me]327-jesse forward . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse ! ’ [I]327-jesse cry . There is not a chance in Hell [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] going to be quiet if [he]327-jesse continues with that . [[My]2342-matt God]2383-god , [this man]327-jesse is powerful . [He]327-jesse withdraws slowly . ‘ Quiet , [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse grates and strikes again , knocking [my]2342-matt breath right out of [my]2342-matt lungs . [I]2342-matt adjust [my]2342-matt grip , but it ’s hard when [my]2342-matt hands are sweaty , causing them to slide on the granite . [I]2342-matt rid [myself]2342-matt of the flex in [my]2342-matt arms to prevent [him]327-jesse shoving [me]2342-matt forward again , just about managing to stabilise [myself]2342-matt in time for [his]327-jesse assault . [He]327-jesse hammers back into [me]2342-matt tirelessly , leaving no recovering space between hard , relentless pounds . [He]327-jesse ’s unforgiving . Shifting [his]327-jesse hands from [my]2342-matt neck and breast , [he]327-jesse takes a firm hold of [my]2342-matt hips and pulls [me]2342-matt back to meet [his]327-jesse every hard thrust , slamming into [me]2342-matt to the absolute maximum . [I]2342-matt ’ve lost all sense of realism . Nothing else exists , except for [Jesse]327-jesse , [his]327-jesse brutal drive and [my]2342-matt body ’s craving for it . This is mind bending stuff . [My]2342-matt stomach coils as [I]2342-matt feel [my]2342-matt impending orgasm battle its way forward , assisted rapidly by [Jesse]327-jesse ’s ruthless momentum . ‘ Not yet , [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse warns . How does [he]327-jesse know ? [I]2342-matt ca n’t sustain this for much longer . [I]2342-matt ’m going to explode at any moment . [I]830-a slave can hear [our]2664-our sweaty bodies colliding on loud blows , along with [Jesse]327-jesse ’s throaty grunts rolling over [me]830-a slave . [I]830-a slave concentrate on quenching the raw need to let it go , the pleasure verging to the point of pain . But with [my]830-a slave thoughts in a million places , except [my]830-a slave brain , [I]830-a slave ’m[830-a slave] [a slave]830-a slave to [my]2342-matt body ’s need . And then [he]327-jesse pulls out , and [I]2342-matt ’m left hanging . What ’s [he]327-jesse doing ? [I]327-jesse whimper as [my]327-jesse impending release retreats . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] about to yell at [him]327-jesse , but then [I]2342-matt feel [his]327-jesse finger slide down the centre of [my]2342-matt backside . [I]2342-matt tense from top to bottom . Oh no ! ‘ [You]327-jesse can do this , [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse slides [his]327-jesse fingers down between [my]2342-matt thighs and into [me]2342-matt , collecting the wetness and slowly dragging it back up to [my]2342-matt bum . ‘ Relax , [we]2665-we ’ll take it slow . ’[327-jesse] Relax ? [I]2342-matt ca n’t relax ! [He]327-jesse circles [my]2342-matt opening slowly , every muscle in [my]2342-matt backside clenching , automatically rejecting the invasion . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , relax . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse stresses the words . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] fucking trying . ’ [I]327-jesse grate . ‘[327-jesse] Give [me]2342-matt time , damn it ! ’ [He]327-jesse can fuck right off if [he]327-jesse thinks [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] keeping quiet now ! [I]2342-matt hear [him]327-jesse laugh softly as [he]327-jesse takes [his]327-jesse fingers back down to [my]2342-matt clit , rolling them around , causing spikes of pleasure to bolt through [me]2342-matt . ‘ Watch [your]832-ava mouth . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse warns . [I]2342-matt focus of taking deep , controlled breaths . ‘ Do n’t [you]832-ava need some lubricant or something ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt pant . ‘ [You]832-ava ’re[832-ava] soaking , [Ava]832-ava . That ’s enough . [You]832-ava ’re not very good under instruction , are [you]832-ava ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse penetrates [my]2342-matt opening with [his]327-jesse thumb , and [I]2342-matt sink [my]2342-matt teeth into [my]2342-matt lip . ‘ Relax , [woman]72-jesus ’[2342-matt] ‘ Oh God , this is going to hurt , is n’t it ? ’[327-jesse] ‘ Yes , at first . [You]832-ava have to relax . Once [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] in , [you]832-ava ’ll love it , trust [me]2342-matt . ’ Oh , bloody hell ! [He]327-jesse continues the massaging of [my]832-ava opening as [I]832-ava drop [my]832-ava head , panting and sweating with nerves . [I]832-ava feel [his]327-jesse hand wrap around the nape of [my]832-ava neck and gently massage at [my]832-ava tense muscles . As [I]832-ava give [myself]832-ava a mental pep talk , [his]327-jesse hand leaves [my]832-ava neck and lands [my]832-ava backside . [He]327-jesse gently eases [me]832-ava open until [I]832-ava feel the moist head of [his]327-jesse erection nudging at [my]832-ava opening . Oh , fuck ! ‘[832-ava] Easy , [lady]832-ava . Let it happen . ’ [he]327-jesse murmurs , slowly rolling [his]327-jesse wetness around [my]832-ava entrance . Breathe , breathe , breathe . Then [he]327-jesse advances , the immense pressure on [my]832-ava opening causing [me]832-ava to impulsively jolt forward . [His]327-jesse hand comes up to rest over [my]832-ava shoulder , holding [me]832-ava in place , [his]327-jesse other continuing to guide [himself]327-jesse into [me]832-ava . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] physically shaking as the pressure builds and builds . ‘ That ’s it , [Ava]832-ava . [We]2667-we ’re[832-ava] nearly there . ’ [His]327-jesse voice is jagged and strained , [his]327-jesse palm wet on [my]832-ava shoulder as [his]327-jesse fingers flex . And then [he]327-jesse surges forward on a strangled growl , breaching [my]832-ava muscles and sliding deep into [my]832-ava forbidden place . ‘[832-ava] Shit ! ’ [I]832-ava cry . That fucking hurts ! ‘[832-ava] Oh God , [you]831-you ’re so tight ! ’[831-you] [he]831-you chokes . ‘ Stop fighting , [Ava]832-ava . Relax ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt pant as [I]2342-matt ’m thrown into a place between pleasure and agony . The fullness [I]72-jesus feel is indescribable , the pain great , but the pleasure … Oh God , the pleasure is beyond description and completely unanticipated . The tightness of [my]72-jesus muscles around [him]72-jesus has [me]72-jesus feeling every pulsing vein and rolling ripple of [his]72-jesus erection . [My]72-jesus body releases a little of the tension that it ’s built up , and in its place … pure pleasure attacks [me]72-jesus . ‘[72-jesus] [Jesus]72-jesus , that feels good . [I]2342-matt ’m going to move now , okay ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt nod , inhale a deep breath and firm up [my]2342-matt grip of the worktop . [His]72-jesus hand leaves [my]2342-matt shoulder and trails down [my]2342-matt back to join [his]72-jesus other on [my]2342-matt hips , but [I]2342-matt do n’t jerk or jolt when [he]72-jesus grips [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m too busy preparing [myself]832-ava for what ’s to come . ‘[832-ava] Real slow , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]72-jesus moans , slowly pulling out of [me]72-jesus . ‘[72-jesus] [Jesus]72-jesus , [Jesse]327-jesse ! ’ If [he]72-jesus tells [me]2342-matt to shut up , [I]2342-matt ’ll get real angry . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt know . ’ [He]72-jesus starts working [himself]72-jesus in and out in slow , measured strokes . [I]72-jesus ’m[72-jesus] falling apart under [him]72-jesus . [I]2342-matt never imagined this . [I]2342-matt never thought this would feel anything but smutty and wrong . But it does n’t . [He]72-jesus ’s making love to [me]2342-matt , and it feels so good . [I]2342-matt ’m stunned . The power of [him]72-jesus claiming [me]72-jesus has the ache in [my]72-jesus stomach in knots . One touch of [my]72-jesus core will have [me]72-jesus on the ceiling . ‘[72-jesus] [You]72-jesus feel amazing , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]72-jesus rumbles deep in [his]72-jesus throat as [he]72-jesus drives forward again . ‘[832-ava] [I]2342-matt could stay here all fucking night , but [I]2342-matt ’m losing it . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt find [myself]2342-matt pushing back on to [his]72-jesus level strokes , inviting [him]72-jesus to increase [his]72-jesus pace . The unexpected pleasure is unreal , and [I]2342-matt ’m fast on [my]2342-matt way to a furious climax . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] staggered that [I]2342-matt ’m even doing this . [I]2342-matt need more . ‘[2342-matt] Keep going . ’ [I]832-ava utter the words [I]832-ava never thought [I]832-ava would . ‘[832-ava] Yes , [baby]832-ava . Are [you]832-ava close ? ’ ‘[832-ava] Yes ! ’ [I]832-ava cry , ramming back onto [him]72-jesus . [I]832-ava hear [his]72-jesus gasps as [he]72-jesus moves one hand to [my]832-ava shoulder and the other to stroke [my]832-ava inside thigh . ‘[832-ava] Harder ! ’ [I]832-ava scream . [I]832-ava need this . ‘[832-ava] Oh fuck , [Ava]832-ava ! ’ [he]2342-matt yells , pounding forward , clamping onto [my]2342-matt shoulder and cupping [my]2342-matt mound , [his]2342-matt finger rolling over [my]2342-matt pulsating clitoris . [I]2342-matt throw [my]2342-matt head back . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m there ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt cry . ‘ Wait ! ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt shouts . [I]2342-matt turn lightheaded , feeling [his]2342-matt cock swell and jerk as [he]2342-matt powers on . [I]2342-matt ’m delirious on pleasure , and just when [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt might collapse , [he]2342-matt bellows , ‘[2342-matt] Now ! ’ And [I]2342-matt let go . [The room]361-the bar starts spinning and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] lost . [I]2342-matt collapse forward onto [the bar]361-the bar , [my]2342-matt arms spread above [my]2342-matt head , taking [Jesse]327-jesse with [me]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt ’s a weight , but [I]2342-matt ’m numb from pleasure . All [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] aware of is [his]2342-matt hard , wet chest pressing [me]2342-matt into the granite , [his]2342-matt hot heavy breaths in [my]2342-matt hair and [his]2342-matt pulsating cock still buried deep inside [me]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt spasms above [me]2342-matt . [My]2342-matt muscles contract on every beat [I]2342-matt feel from [him]2342-matt , draining every last drop of [his]2342-matt seed , as [he]2342-matt lazily thrusts the last pieces of [my]2342-matt orgasm out of [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m floating away . Chapter 11 ‘[834-you] Are [you]834-you okay ? ’ [he]2342-matt whispers in [my]2342-matt ear . ‘[2342-matt] Am [I]2342-matt allowed to speak ? ’ [He]2342-matt pushes forward and squeezes [my]2342-matt hip bone , sending [me]2342-matt on a little jolt across the worktop . ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t be smart . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m well and truly fucked . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt sigh . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , please watch [your]832-ava mouth . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt cautions . [He]2342-matt lifts [his]2342-matt arms and lays them over [mine]2342-matt , softly stroking up and down . ‘ [I]2342-matt am , though . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve never been so misused , but it was incredible . ‘ [I]2342-matt know , but [you]834-you do n’t have to swear . [I]2342-matt hate [you]834-you swearing . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt frown to [myself]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt have to endure [your]834-you blue language . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [My]2342-matt language is only blue , [lady]65-ha , when [you]834-you make [me]2342-matt see red . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt sigh . ‘ Okay . ’[2342-matt] [We]835-we lay replete for an age , regaining [our]835-we breath . [I]2342-matt ’m pinned under [his]836-he heavy body , splattered on the granite work surface . The coolness under [my]2342-matt cheek is a welcome sensation as [I]2342-matt watch [my]2342-matt hot breath skim the shiny granite , causing it to fog . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] adrift from reality and drowning in a rush of sentiment . [I]2342-matt ’m depleted , physically and emotionally , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] in even more trouble now . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Hmmm ? ’[836-he] ‘ How old are [you]327-jesse ? ’[836-he] [He]836-he squeezes [my]2342-matt arms . ‘ Twenty two , ’[836-he] [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes to [myself]2342-matt . If [he]836-he ’s twenty two , then [I]2342-matt ’m [Mother Teresa]124-mother teresa reincarnated . [I]2342-matt smile to [myself]2342-matt . After what [I]2342-matt have just partaken in , it ’s not bloody likely . [I]2342-matt feel [him]836-he pull away from [me]2342-matt a fraction , a hollow , empty feeling attacking [me]2342-matt when [he]836-he slips out . [He]836-he leans down , kisses [my]2342-matt back and slowly separates [us]2669-us , [his]836-he skin peeling away from [mine]2342-matt gradually . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] cold . ‘ Come here . ’[836-he] [he]836-he whispers , grasping [my]2342-matt waist . [I]2342-matt notice that it ’s not [my]2342-matt hips . [I]2342-matt brace [my]2342-matt flat palm on the granite and lift [myself]2342-matt with [his]836-he slow persuasion . Christ , it ’s like taking a plaster off . When [I]2342-matt ’ve finally separated [my]2342-matt body from the breakfast bar , [I]2342-matt turn and face [him]836-he . [My]2342-matt eyes widen when [I]2342-matt see [he]836-he ’s hard again . Already ? [I]2342-matt ’m knackered ! [He]836-he lifts [me]2342-matt onto the counter and muscles between [my]2342-matt thighs , picking [my]2342-matt arms up and draping them over [his]836-he shoulders before resting [his]836-he hands on [my]2342-matt waist . [He]836-he searches [my]2342-matt eyes . ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]837-you okay ? ’ [I]2342-matt smile at [his]836-he handsome face . Is n’t it a bit late to be asking that ? ‘[2342-matt] Yes . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Good . ’ [He]836-he leans in and wraps [his]836-he arms around [me]2342-matt tightly , inhaling in [my]2342-matt neck . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not finished with [you]837-you yet . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt curl [my]2342-matt legs around [his]2342-matt tight waist , squeezing with [my]2342-matt thighs . ‘ [I]2342-matt noticed . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt ’s unendurable . It ’s a good job this is casual sex because [I]2342-matt could n’t deal with this on a full time basis . [I]2342-matt ’d be walking dead – if walking at all . ‘ [You]837-you have this affect on [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt tells [me]2342-matt on a shrug . It ca n’t be just [me]2342-matt , but [I]2342-matt ’ll take the compliment . [I]2342-matt bury [my]2342-matt face in the side of [his]2342-matt neck and nuzzle . [He]2342-matt smells so good . ‘ Are [you]837-you hungry ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks , pulling back and running [his]2342-matt knuckles down [my]2342-matt cheek . [I]2342-matt ’m not really , even though [I]2342-matt ’ve not had time to eat all day . [I]2342-matt bypassed the canapés in favour of champagne , not wanting to get caught with a mouth full of food in case [someone]587-someone decided that [they]587-someone wanted a chat at [Lusso]66-lusso . ‘[2342-matt] -ish , ’ [I]2342-matt shrug . ‘[2342-matt] -ish , ’ [he]2342-matt mouths , the corner of [his]2342-matt lips twitching . [His]2342-matt eyes twinkle , and [I]2342-matt grin . ‘[2342-matt] [You]838-my have a cheeky grin , [I]2342-matt love it . ’ [He]2342-matt kisses the corner of [my]838-my mouth . ‘[838-my] Shit ! ’ As soon as the word falls from [my]838-my mouth , [I]838-my wince . [He]2342-matt leans back , eyes wide . ‘[838-my] Mouth ! ’ [he]2342-matt grinds , [his]2342-matt lips forming a straight line . ‘[838-my] What ’s the matter ? ’ ‘[838-my] [I]2342-matt told [Kate]2557-kate [I]2342-matt ’d be [home]281-home . ’ [I]2342-matt blurt . [She]2557-kate has n’t called , or if [she]2557-kate has [I]2342-matt ’ve not heard [my]2342-matt phone . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt better call [her]2557-kate . [She]2557-kate needs [[my]2342-matt car]548-the car to visit [her]2557-kate Gran in [Yorkshire]20-yorkshire . ’ Shit ! Fuck , fuck , fuck ! [I]2557-kate can swear as much as [I]2557-kate like in [my]2557-kate head . Damn it . [[My]2557-kate car]548-the car ’s at [Lusso]66-lusso and [I]2557-kate ’ve had too much champagne to collect it now . Maybe [Kate]2557-kate can get it in the morning with the spare keys ? No , [she]2557-kate ca n’t . The spare keys are at [my]2557-kate old flat with [Matt]2342-matt . Oh , for [God]68-god ’s sake ! [I]2557-kate must get round there to collect [my]2557-kate stuff . [I]2557-kate ’ll have to get [a taxi]452-a taxi back to [Kate]2557-kate ’s to give [her]2557-kate [my]2557-kate keys . [She]2557-kate can get [the car]548-the car from [Lusso]66-lusso in the morning . [I]2557-kate wriggle to free [myself]2557-kate , and [he]2672-he begrudgingly lets go on a frown . Retrieving [my]2557-kate bag from by the front door , [I]2557-kate rummage through , finding [my]2557-kate phone to text [Kate]2557-kate and explain the plan , adding a P.S on the end to inform [her]2557-kate that there ’s [no girlfriend]2673-no girlfriend . [I]2557-kate pull [my]2557-kate jeans out of [my]2557-kate overnight bag . ‘[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt ’ve got to go . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Go ? ’ [he]2672-he booms . [I]2342-matt flinch . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve got one set of car keys and [Kate]2557-kate needs [them]841-them . ’ [I]2557-kate explain . [I]2557-kate shake [my]2557-kate jeans out . [I]2557-kate wo n’t bother with underwear , [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] only flying [home]281-home . [I]2342-matt thrust one leg into [my]2342-matt jeans and hop around to position [myself]2342-matt for the next leg . [He]843-his ’s moving so fast , [I]2342-matt do n’t have time to catch the look on [his]843-his face . ‘ Oh ! ’[843-his] [I]2342-matt yelp as [he]843-his propels [me]2342-matt into the air and over [his]843-his shoulder . ‘ What are [you]327-jesse doing ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m staring straight at [his]843-his firm , tanned arse as [he]843-his turns , without a word , and starts stalking across [the apartment]593-the apartment . ‘[2342-matt] Shit ! [Jesse]327-jesse , put [me]2342-matt down ! ’ [He]843-his yanks [my]327-jesse jeans off of the one leg [I]327-jesse managed to get them on , throws them aside and slaps [my]327-jesse arse . ‘[327-jesse] Ouch ! ’ ‘[327-jesse] Mouth ! ’ [I]327-jesse hear the door hit plaster , after being kicked open , and [we]2675-we ’re[327-jesse] in [a bedroom]844-a bedroom . [I]2342-matt notice it ’s all black and white in here too . What the hell is [he]843-his doing ? Has n’t [he]843-his had enough of [me]2342-matt ? Have [I]2342-matt had enough of [him]843-his ? [You]845-you would think so . [I]2342-matt ’m hauled off of [his]843-his shoulder , with minimal effort , and flying through the air before landing in [a sea of luxurious , white cotton]2676-a sea of luxurious , white cotton . The first thing [I]2342-matt notice is that it smells divine . It smells like [him]843-his – all fresh water and yummy . [I]2342-matt do n’t have time to get over [my]2342-matt disorientation . [He]843-his ’s between [my]2342-matt thighs in a nanosecond , [his]843-his erection nudging at [my]2342-matt opening , [his]843-his hands pinning [my]2342-matt wrists on either side of [my]2342-matt head . [His]843-his arms are ram - rod straight , supporting [his]843-his upper body . [Jesus]72-jesus , [the man]2342-matt can move fast . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] still not quite sure where [I]2342-matt am and how [I]2342-matt got here . [I]2342-matt do , however , recognise that coiling anticipation lingering deep inside [me]2342-matt . Clearly , [I]2342-matt ’ve not had enough of [him]2342-matt . The slippery head of [his]2342-matt arousal tickles [my]2342-matt entrance , having [my]2342-matt heart sprinting in [my]2342-matt chest , while [I]2342-matt focus on [his]2342-matt eyes above [mine]2342-matt , gazing down at [me]2342-matt with a mixture of anger and shock . [He]2342-matt ’s mad ? ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] not fucking going anywhere . ’ [he]2342-matt growls , shifting [his]2342-matt hips and plunging full length into [me]2342-matt , stretching [me]2342-matt to the most incredible level . [We]2677-we both yell in unison at the penetration . [He]2342-matt ’s so deep , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] instantly griping onto every inch of [him]2342-matt inside [me]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt holds still for a few seconds , [his]2342-matt head hanging and [his]2342-matt mouth lax . All thoughts of [car]846-car collecting have made way for the anticipation of what ’s to come . [I]2342-matt really ca n’t get enough of [him]2342-matt . Once [he]2342-matt ’s gathered [himself]2342-matt together , [he]2342-matt lifts [his]2342-matt gaze to [mine]2342-matt and slowly withdraws before ramming straight back in on a loud yell . [I]2342-matt throw [my]2342-matt head back on a scream . ‘ Look at [me]2342-matt ! ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt voice is a carnal growl , not to be ignored . [I]2342-matt return [my]2342-matt eyes to [his]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt holds [himself]2342-matt deep inside [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m panting like a dehydrated dog . ‘[2342-matt] That ’s better . Now , do [you]847-you need a reminder ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks . A reminder ? If [he]2342-matt means a reminder of how good [he]2342-matt feels inside [me]2342-matt , then the answer is yes ! [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt hips to try and get some contact . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] raging and burning like a wanton hussy . [He]2342-matt stares down at [me]2342-matt expectantly . ‘ Answer the question , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Please . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt breathe . [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [I]2342-matt ’m begging for [him]2342-matt . Well , [I]848-i can , actually . [He]2342-matt can do what [he]2342-matt likes to [me]848-i , demand anything . [He]2342-matt smiles a knowing , cocky smile , then [he]2342-matt lets rip , powering forward . ‘[848-i] [Your]848-i mine , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]2342-matt grunts . [I]848-i shut [my]848-i eyes on a yell of pleasure . ‘[848-i] Open [your]848-i fucking eyes ! ’ Oh , [I]72-jesus do n’t have the energy . [I]72-jesus drag them open as [he]2342-matt pounds in and out at an inexcusably hard and forceful pace . It ’s amazing . [Our]2678-our sweat ridden bodies are colliding and [my]72-jesus breath hitching as [I]72-jesus try to control the build - up of pressure that ’s gathering in [my]72-jesus groin . Even amid the disorder of [our]2678-our frantic body movements , [his]2342-matt eyes never stray from [mine]72-jesus . [I]72-jesus wrap [my]72-jesus legs around [his]2342-matt waist , tilting [my]72-jesus hips slightly , sending [him]2342-matt deeper and [my]72-jesus bordering detonation closer . The coils of pleasure are tightening to breaking point with [his]2342-matt persistent charging forward . [I]72-jesus do n’t know what to do with [myself]72-jesus . ‘[72-jesus] [Jesus]72-jesus , [Ava]832-ava . [You]72-jesus okay ? ’ [He]2342-matt forces the words from [his]2342-matt mouth between gruff shouts . [My]72-jesus wrists are freed from [his]2342-matt heavy grip , and [I]72-jesus feel the thud of [his]2342-matt fists punching into the mattress . ‘[72-jesus] Do n’t stop ! ’ [I]72-jesus scream , flinging [my]72-jesus hands up to grab [his]2342-matt slippery biceps . [I]72-jesus dig [my]72-jesus nails in to try and find some grip , prompting [him]2342-matt to yell some more and pound harder . [I]72-jesus throw [my]72-jesus head back in despair . The power and control [he]2342-matt has is beyond comprehension . ‘[72-jesus] Damn it , [Ava]832-ava . Look at [me]2342-matt ! ’ [My]327-jesse head falls back down and [our]2679-our eyes meet . [His]2342-matt pupils are huge and glazed , nearly cancelling out the greenness of [his]2342-matt stare . [I]327-jesse notice [his]2342-matt frown deepen and sweat dripping down [his]2342-matt temples . Shifting [my]327-jesse hands to the back of [his]2342-matt head , [I]327-jesse fist [my]327-jesse hands in [his]2342-matt saturated hair , pulling [his]2342-matt head down so [our]2679-our lips collide and [our]2679-our tongues clash , while [he]2342-matt continues [his]2342-matt punishing blows . [I]327-jesse ca n’t hold back any more . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , [I]2342-matt ’m going . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt pant against [his]327-jesse lips . The tips of [my]2342-matt fingers are numb from [my]2342-matt stupidly fierce grasp of [him]327-jesse . ‘ Fuck ! Together , okay ? ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse grates through [his]327-jesse clenched teeth , driving harder a few more body blowing , mind numbing times , before yelling , ‘ Now ! ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt let it go – all of the pent up heaviness in [my]2342-matt groin , the weight in [my]2342-matt lungs and the fire in [my]2342-matt belly . It all comes out on a massive rush of pressure and a very loud scream . ‘ Jesus Christ ! ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse cries , thrusting one last , powerful time before stilling over [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt feel [his]327-jesse scorching release shoot deep inside [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt sag all around [him]327-jesse , closing [my]2342-matt eyes in exhaustion . [He]327-jesse collapses to [his]327-jesse forearms , breathless and soaking wet , as [he]327-jesse withdraws fractionally , pushing deep and high a few more times in long , measured strokes . [My]2342-matt muscles contract around [him]327-jesse , milking every last bit of [his]327-jesse release . [I]2342-matt ca n’t think straight . [This man]327-jesse has given [me]2342-matt four , incomprehensibly , powerful orgasms in less than four hours . That ’s one an hour ! [I]2342-matt ’m never going to be able to walk tomorrow . [I]2342-matt lay there sated and limp , panting and aching from the exertion . [My]2342-matt eyes are growing heavy . [I]2342-matt feel [his]327-jesse forehead rest against [mine]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt open [my]2342-matt eyes to see that [his]327-jesse are clenched shut . [I]2342-matt wriggle under [him]327-jesse to get [his]327-jesse attention , feeling [his]327-jesse semi erection twitch inside [me]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse drags is eyes open , lifting [his]327-jesse head so [he]327-jesse can focus on [me]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse searches [my]2342-matt face , settling on [my]2342-matt mouth , and leans down to plant the gentlest kiss on [my]2342-matt abused lips . [I]2342-matt sigh as [he]327-jesse drops [his]327-jesse torso down to lay flush on [my]2342-matt body , [his]327-jesse hard chest heavy , but so wanted . [I]2342-matt welcome the burden and reach around to faintly trace [my]2342-matt fingers over [his]327-jesse back as [I]2342-matt rest [my]2342-matt chin on [his]327-jesse shoulder and stare up at the ceiling . [He]327-jesse shivers lightly and buries [his]327-jesse face in [my]2342-matt neck , resting [his]327-jesse lips against [my]2342-matt pulsing vein . [I]2342-matt ’ve never felt so content in all of [my]2342-matt life . [I]2342-matt know it ’s only sex and the after effects , but this is the finest feeling in [the world]516-the world . It has to be . [This man]2342-matt ’s fierceness is addictive , [his]2342-matt tenderness sweet and [his]2342-matt body beyond perfection . [He]2342-matt ’s the perfect mix of maleness . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] in some serious deep , deep shit . [I]2342-matt lay , still tracing [my]2342-matt finger across [his]2342-matt back , [my]2342-matt lids so heavy . [His]2342-matt weight is a burden and [my]2342-matt finger tips are numb from the friction of stroking [him]2342-matt . [His]2342-matt breathing is steady and even against [my]2342-matt neck . [He]2342-matt ’s asleep , and [I]2342-matt ’m trapped under [his]2342-matt solid body . [I]2342-matt stop caressing [his]2342-matt back and [he]2342-matt shifts [his]2342-matt hips , slowly pulling out of [me]2342-matt , leaving a massive empty void . The feeling is unwelcome , and leaves [me]2342-matt wishing [I]2342-matt had of sustained [his]2342-matt weight for longer – maybe forever . [He]2342-matt pushes [himself]2342-matt up on [his]2342-matt elbows and stares down at [me]2342-matt . Picking up a loose piece of [my]2342-matt hair , [he]2342-matt studies the shiny , mahogany lock , watching as [he]2342-matt twirls it around [his]2342-matt index finger and thumb . ‘[2342-matt] [You]849-he sent [me]2342-matt to sleep . ’ [His]2342-matt voice is rough . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt did . ’ ‘[849-he] [You]849-he ’re too beautiful . ’[849-he] [he]849-he whispers , returning [his]849-he gaze to [mine]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt stare into [his]849-he sleepy eyes and reach up to run [my]2342-matt thumb across [his]849-he frown line , fanning [my]2342-matt fingers in [his]849-he hair . ‘ So are [you]849-he . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say softly . [He]849-he really is very beautiful . [He]849-he offers a half smile , lowers [his]849-he head and nuzzles between [my]2342-matt breasts . ‘ Consider [yourself]849-he reminded , [lady]65-ha . ’[65-ha] [Ha]65-ha ! [I]2342-matt knew it . It was a reminder fuck after the sense fuck failed . Well , it did n’t fail . Although , [I]2342-matt would be more inclined to say that [he]849-he fucked [me]2342-matt senseless . Slowly peeling [himself]849-he away from [my]2342-matt body , [he]849-he rests back on [his]849-he heels . The cold rush of air that instantly invades [me]2342-matt has [me]2342-matt wanting to yank [him]849-he back down . Yep , [I]2342-matt ’ve been reminded all right . [He]849-he offers [me]2342-matt both of [his]849-he hands and [I]2342-matt take them , letting [him]849-he pull [me]2342-matt up to straddle [his]849-he thighs . Wrapping one arm around [my]2342-matt back , [he]849-he cradles [me]2342-matt to [him]849-he as [he]849-he turns , maneuvering [his]849-he body so [he]849-he ’s sitting up with [his]849-he back resting against the headboard , [me]2342-matt facing [him]849-he . [He]849-he rests [his]849-he hands on [my]2342-matt waist and circles [his]849-he thumbs on [my]2342-matt hips bones . It triggers a shudder to race through [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt throw [my]2342-matt hands over [his]849-he to still [his]849-he movements . [He]849-he smirks at [me]2342-matt . ‘ Spend the day with [me]849-he tomorrow . ’[849-he] Pardon ? [I]2342-matt thought this was just sex ? Maybe [he]849-he wants to spend all day in bed with [me]2342-matt . [Christ]72-jesus , after tonight , [I]2342-matt need a week to recover - maybe longer . [I]2342-matt am , quite literally , fucked . ‘ [I]2342-matt have things planned . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say warily . [I]2342-matt ’m being sensible here . [I]2342-matt need to keep it casual , or maybe not see [him]849-he again at all . [He]849-he ’s the epitome of [bad boy]2681-bad boy , if slightly older . [He]849-he ’s hazardous , enigmatic and completely addictive . [I]2342-matt know all of this , but [I]2342-matt fear [I]2342-matt might be hooked . ‘[2342-matt] What things ? ’ [he]849-he asks on a slight pout . [I]2342-matt do n’t actually have things planned . [I]2342-matt have one thing planned – to sort [[my]2342-matt room]2682-my room out . It ’s a shocker , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] restricted on space and overrun with personal effects . [I]2342-matt should probably start looking for alternative arrangements , but [I]2342-matt ’m having such fun with [Kate]2557-kate . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt need to sort [my]2342-matt stuff out . ’ [I]2342-matt clamp [my]2342-matt hands down when [I]2342-matt feel [him]2342-matt try to move [his]2342-matt thumbs again . ‘[2342-matt] What stuff ? ’ [He]2342-matt looks confused . ‘[2557-kate] [[Kate]2557-kate ’s place]850-there is [temporary accommodation]850-there . [I]2342-matt ’ve been [there]850-there for four weeks , everything is everywhere . [I]2342-matt need to sort it out for when [I]2342-matt get [[my]2342-matt own place]850-there . ’ ‘[851-you] Where were [you]851-you four weeks ago ? ’ ‘[851-you] With [Matt]2342-matt . ’ [He]2342-matt recoils . ‘[851-you] Who the fuck is [Matt]2342-matt ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Calm down . [He]2342-matt ’s [[my]2342-matt ex - boyfriend]852-my ex - boyfriend . ’ ‘[852-my ex - boyfriend] [Ex]852-my ex - boyfriend ? ’ ‘[852-my ex - boyfriend] Yes , Ex . ’ [I]327-jesse confirm , seeing a wave of relief travel across [his]2342-matt face . What ’s the matter with [him]2342-matt ? ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , [I]2342-matt need to get [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car . ’ [I]327-jesse press . [I]327-jesse ca n’t leave [Kate]2557-kate to drive [Margo]1052-margo all the way to [Yorkshire]20-yorkshire . [She]2557-kate rattles and shakes all over [the place]308-the place ; [Kate]2557-kate will have piles by the time [she]2557-kate gets there . [She]2557-kate has to secure [her]2557-kate cakes in boxes with polystyrene and straps , and reduce [her]2557-kate speed to five miles an hour over speed humps . ‘[327-jesse] Do n’t worry . [I]2342-matt ’ll take [you]327-jesse to get it in the morning . ’ Oh , so [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] staying then ? ‘ [She]2557-kate ’s leaving at eight - ish . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse might not be so keen if [I]2342-matt ’m dragging [him]327-jesse out of bed at the crack of dawn on a Saturday . ‘[2342-matt] -ish . ’ [he]327-jesse mouths on a smirk . [I]2342-matt mirror [his]327-jesse smirk , gripping [his]327-jesse hands and moving them up to [my]2342-matt waist before [I]2342-matt reach up to [my]2342-matt head , feeling for the grips keeping [my]2342-matt hair in place . [They]2684-they ’re[2342-matt] giving [me]2342-matt a headache . [I]2342-matt start pulling at them , and [he]327-jesse looks up at [me]2342-matt with narrowed eyes . [I]2342-matt pause . ‘ What ? ’[327-jesse] ‘ [You]2685-you refuse to spend the day with [me]327-jesse , and then thrust those fabulous boobs in [my]327-jesse face . That ’s not playing fair , [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse reaches up and flicks a nipple , causing it to immediately pucker into a tight bud . [I]2342-matt yelp , grabbing [my]2342-matt breast . ‘ Hey ! [I]2342-matt need to take [my]2342-matt grips out . [They]2684-they ’re[2342-matt] digging into [my]2342-matt head . ’ [I]2342-matt remove a grip and pop it in [my]2342-matt mouth . [He]327-jesse watches [me]2342-matt with interest , then leans up , takes the grip with [his]327-jesse teeth and spits it out on the bed . [His]327-jesse face plummets , nestling between [my]2342-matt boobs . [I]2342-matt smile to [myself]2342-matt and smooth [my]2342-matt hands through [his]327-jesse damp hair , ignoring the voice in [my]2342-matt head telling [me]2342-matt not to get too contented . [He]2342-matt breathes in deeply before pulling back and planting a soft kiss on each nipple . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] turned around in [his]2342-matt lap . ‘ Let [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt raises [his]2342-matt knees so [I]2342-matt ’m cradled between them , [my]2342-matt forearms resting on [his]2342-matt knee caps . [He]2342-matt begins running [his]2342-matt fingers through [my]2342-matt hair to locate the grips , pulling them out and handing them over [my]2342-matt shoulder for [me]2342-matt to take . ‘[2342-matt] How many have [you]854-you got in here ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks as [he]2342-matt massages [my]2342-matt scalp and finds another stray grip . ‘[2342-matt] A few , ’ [I]2342-matt take the grip . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt have a lot of hair to keep up . ’ ‘[2342-matt] A few hundred ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks doubtfully . ‘[854-you] [You]854-you ’re like a voodoo doll . There , [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt got them all . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt takes the grips from [my]2342-matt hand and puts them on the bedside table before sliding [his]2342-matt hands over [my]2342-matt shoulders and pulling [me]2342-matt back so [I]2342-matt ’m against [his]2342-matt chest , the outside of [my]2342-matt bent legs resting against the insides of [his]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt ’s so comfortable , and [my]2342-matt eyes are incredibly heavy . [I]2342-matt ’ve had a stupidly busy day , and [I]2342-matt ’ve just finished it off on a marathon of sex with [this captivating man that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] propped up against]2342-matt . Maybe [I]2342-matt should go now . It will eradicate the risk of the morning awkwardness that ’s guaranteed to descend on [us]855-us come dawn . But then [I]2342-matt feel [him]2342-matt wrap [his]2342-matt forearms around [my]2342-matt upper chest and [my]2342-matt head automatically rolls back against [his]2342-matt shoulder . [I]2342-matt ’m so comfortable and so sleepy , [I‘m]2342-matt not going anywhere . With [him]2342-matt breathing steadily in [my]2342-matt ear and planting random kisses every now and then in [my]2342-matt hair , it ’s not long before [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] hypnotised by the sound of [his]2342-matt steady breaths and [my]2342-matt eyelids are heavy . [I]2342-matt reach down and start stroking the outside of [his]2342-matt legs . ‘ How old are [you]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mumble , feeling [myself]2342-matt drifting off . [His]2342-matt chest jolts a little , indicating [his]2342-matt quiet laugh . ‘ Twenty three . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt sleepily snort [my]2342-matt disbelief , but [I]2342-matt do n’t have the energy to challenge [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m [a slave]830-a slave to sleep and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] gone . Chapter 12 [I]2342-matt wake up in the exact same position that [I]2342-matt fell asleep in , except [the duvet]856-the duvet has been pulled up over [my]2342-matt waist . [Jesse]327-jesse ’s arms are still wrapped around [my]2342-matt upper chest , [my]2342-matt hands resting on [his]327-jesse forearms . The pungent scent of sex is in the air . [I]2342-matt need a wee . [I]2342-matt scan [the room]2350-the room , looking for a clock . What time is it ? [I]2342-matt hear [Jesse]327-jesse ’s soft , level breathing in [my]2342-matt ear . [I]2342-matt ’m reluctant to move and wake [him]2342-matt , but [I]2342-matt really need the loo . And [I]2342-matt could leave before [he]2342-matt wakes up and kicks [me]2342-matt out . [I]2342-matt set about gently peeling [his]2342-matt arms away from [my]2342-matt sticky body . [He]2342-matt moans a few times in [his]2342-matt sleep , and [I]2342-matt smile to [myself]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] surprised at [my]2342-matt lack of regret . [I]2342-matt ’ve woken with no feelings of remorse or mortification , whatsoever . [This man]327-jesse is dangerous to [my]2342-matt hearts health , [I]2342-matt realise that , but there ’s something about [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt should be repulsed by [his]327-jesse persistence , but [I]2342-matt ’m not . [I]2342-matt ’ve no regrets , at all . But [I]2342-matt also have no desire to outstay [my]2342-matt welcome . Oh no , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] definitely keeping the upper hand here . Just when [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt ’ve made good progress , [I]2342-matt feel [his]327-jesse arms clamp around [me]2342-matt like a vice , effectively immobilising [me]2342-matt . ‘ Do n’t even think about it , [lady]2342-matt . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse growls , [his]327-jesse voice raspy with sleep . [I]2342-matt grip [his]327-jesse forearms with [my]2342-matt hands , trying to loosen [his]327-jesse grip of [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt need to use [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Tough . Hold onto it . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] comfy . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ca n’t . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not letting go of [you]2342-matt . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse states it as a fact , nudging [my]2342-matt hand away with a flick of [his]327-jesse forearm while maintaining [his]327-jesse hold on [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt flop [my]2342-matt head back against [his]327-jesse shoulder in exasperation . [His]327-jesse lips turn into [my]2342-matt cheek , kissing it sweetly , [his]327-jesse overnight stubble grazing [me]2342-matt . It feels good , but it was n’t the morning reaction [I]2342-matt was expecting . Once [I]2342-matt feel [he]327-jesse ’s relaxed [his]327-jesse grip slightly and is busy nuzzling [my]2342-matt cheek , [I]2342-matt make [my]2342-matt move , but no sooner have [I]2342-matt tensed [my]2342-matt muscles to make [my]2342-matt escape , [I]2342-matt ’m flipped onto [my]2342-matt back , [my]2342-matt thighs parted and [my]2342-matt wrists pinned on either side of [my]2342-matt head . [He]327-jesse looks down at [me]2342-matt , [his]327-jesse eyes bright and skipping with enjoyment . Oh yes , [he]327-jesse ’s deeply satisfied with [himself]327-jesse , and [he]327-jesse looks bloody glorious , with [his]327-jesse disheveled hair and dark blonde stubble . [His]327-jesse morning erection is prodding at [my]2342-matt willing opening , seeking entrance . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] defenseless . [My]2342-matt body responds to [him]2342-matt without [me]2342-matt even thinking , and the pain in [my]2342-matt bladder is soon replaced by a distressed ache in [my]2342-matt groin , [my]2342-matt heart somewhere between [my]2342-matt breast bone and [my]2342-matt throat . [His]2342-matt daybreak smell is a mixture of clean sweat and that heady fresh water scent [I]2342-matt love so much . [I]2342-matt ’m high on it and not ignorant to the fact that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] breathless . [He]2342-matt must think [I]2342-matt ’m so easy . Well , [I]2342-matt am ... with [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt rubs [his]2342-matt nose over [mine]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Sleep well ? ’ [He]2342-matt wants a chat now ? [Sparks]125-sparks are flying off all over [the place]308-the place down below and [he]2342-matt wants to chat ? ‘[2342-matt] Very . ’ [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt hips suggestively . [His]2342-matt eyebrows rise , [his]2342-matt lips twitch . ‘[2342-matt] [Me]2342-matt too , ’ [I]2342-matt wait , uncomplaining , for [him]2342-matt to lower [his]2342-matt face to [mine]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt wants to do this slowly , and that ’s fine by [me]2342-matt . If [he]2342-matt would just hurry up ! [He]2342-matt watches [me]2342-matt closely as [he]2342-matt slowly drops [his]2342-matt face to [mine]2342-matt , and when [his]2342-matt lush lips finally brush over [mine]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt moan , opening [my]2342-matt mouth invitingly . [I]2342-matt involuntarily tremble when [he]2342-matt skims [his]2342-matt tongue gently across [mine]2342-matt , taking [his]2342-matt time , slowly seducing [my]2342-matt mouth and pulling back every so often to kiss [my]2342-matt lips gently before [he]2342-matt resumes exploring . Oh , [I]2342-matt like gentle Jesse very much . This is a million miles away from the dominant sex Lord [I]2342-matt was faced with yesterday . When [he]2342-matt ’s happy [he]2342-matt ’s got [me]2342-matt enthralled , [he]2342-matt releases [my]2342-matt wrists and leisurely strokes down the side of [my]2342-matt body with the tip of [his]2342-matt index finger . It ’s enough to have [me]2342-matt convulsing and rolling [my]2342-matt hips as the pressure in [my]2342-matt tummy spirals down to [my]2342-matt core . [His]2342-matt touch is addictive , [he]2342-matt is addictive . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] totally addicted . [I]2342-matt reach around to seize [his]2342-matt rock - solid arse in [my]2342-matt palms , and apply a little pressure , deliberately pressing [his]2342-matt hips into [mine]2342-matt . [We]859-we both whimper in harmony against [each other]606-each other ’s mouths . ‘ [I]2342-matt completely lose [myself]2342-matt in [you]2342-matt , [lady]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt mumbles against [my]2342-matt lips . [He]2342-matt pulls away , watching [my]2342-matt face as [he]2342-matt sinks slowly and purposely into [me]2342-matt , inch by perfect inch , sending [my]2342-matt hands flying to [his]2342-matt back and [my]2342-matt eyes squeezing shut . [I]2342-matt ’m full to the hilt . [He]2342-matt remains motionless , letting [me]2342-matt adjust around [him]2342-matt , [his]2342-matt back tense , [his]2342-matt breathing shallow . [I]2342-matt know it must be taking everything out of [him]2342-matt to be so still . ‘[2342-matt] Look at [me]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]2342-matt whispers . [I]861-he peel [my]861-he eyes open , immediately finding [his]2342-matt . [His]2342-matt face confirms [my]861-he thoughts . [His]2342-matt jaw is tense , [his]2342-matt light frown line deeper than usual , and [his]2342-matt green eyes are blazing . [I]861-he roll [my]861-he hips a fraction to signal [I]861-he ’m[861-he] okay , and on [my]2342-matt invitation , [he]861-he slowly draws back until [I]2342-matt ’m sure [he]861-he ’s going to pull out , but then , bit by bit , [he]861-he plunges straight back in to the deepest part of [me]861-he – in and out , in and out . ‘[861-he] Hmmm . ’ [I]2342-matt moan on a long exhale . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt love sleepy sex with [you]2342-matt . ’ [he]861-he breathes . The deliberate , measured strokes are playing havoc with [my]2342-matt self - control , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] pushing [my]2342-matt hips up to meet [his]861-he penetrations , sending [him]861-he deeper and [me]2342-matt higher . The feeling is extraordinary . [I]2342-matt ’m not going to be long if [he]861-he keeps this up . ‘[2342-matt] Is that good , [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [he]861-he asks quietly . [He]861-he knows it is . [His]861-he gaze is still locked on [mine]2342-matt , and [I]832-ava surprise [myself]832-ava that [I]832-ava can maintain the intimacy . [I]832-ava find it natural , with none of the expected awkwardness , discomfort or uneasiness . It ’s like [we]2689-we ’re[832-ava] supposed to be this way . How stupid . ‘ Yes . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt breathe . ‘ Faster ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ No , just like this , please , just stay like this . ’[327-jesse] This is just perfect . The hard , powerful and commanding [Jesse]327-jesse is amazing , but right now , this is absolutely perfect . [His]327-jesse eyes swim as [he]327-jesse regards [me]2342-matt , continuing [his]327-jesse measured dives in and out of [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m on the edge . [I]2342-matt want [him]327-jesse to kiss [me]2342-matt , but [he]327-jesse seems content with just looking at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt link [my]2342-matt legs around [his]327-jesse lower back and run [my]2342-matt hands up and down [his]327-jesse arms in light , feathery strokes . On a slow withdraw , [he]327-jesse pauses , momentarily appearing to gather [himself]327-jesse , [his]327-jesse eyes probing [mine]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Enough of the sleepy sex . ’ [he]327-jesse murmurs as [he]327-jesse surges forward , thrashing [me]2342-matt in the deepest recesses of [my]2342-matt body , not giving [me]2342-matt a moment to adjust . [He]327-jesse cries out and retreats before repeating the delectable move again and again , slowly withdrawing and striking hard . The pleasure washes over [me]2342-matt like an aggressive storm , sending [my]2342-matt mind into orbit . [His]327-jesse drives are controlled and exact . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] reaching [my]2342-matt limit . [I]2342-matt fist [my]2342-matt hands in is hair , pulling [his]327-jesse lips down to [mine]2342-matt , running [my]2342-matt tongue over [his]327-jesse bottom lip and biting it lightly , letting it drag through [my]2342-matt teeth as [I]2342-matt pull away . [He]327-jesse bursts forward again , [his]327-jesse face tense as [he]327-jesse finds [my]2342-matt lips and kisses [me]2342-matt passionately . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] never letting [you]863-you go . ’ [he]327-jesse informs [me]327-jesse around [our]2690-our kiss . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] so overwhelmed . [He]327-jesse ’s the most potent aphrodisiac to [me]2342-matt . Unfamiliar feelings are flooding [my]2342-matt mind and heart for [this man]327-jesse . ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t want [you]863-you to . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt reply against [his]327-jesse lips . Something has just landed in [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt ’m confused by it all . [He]327-jesse freezes suddenly , stopping the rhythmic drives that had [me]2342-matt set to disintegrate in [his]327-jesse arms . [I]2342-matt wince at the lack of movement , [my]2342-matt orgasm lying in limbo . [He]327-jesse ’s still buried balls deep inside [me]2342-matt as [he]327-jesse pulls [his]327-jesse head up and looks at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] snapped out of [my]2342-matt confusing thoughts immediately by the look of displeasure on [his]327-jesse face . Crap , wrong thing to say ? [I]2342-matt got caught up in the moment , that ’s all . [I]2342-matt look away from [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt ’ve ruined it . ‘ Look at [me]327-jesse now , [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse demands , and [I]2342-matt reluctantly return [my]2342-matt eyes to [his]327-jesse , finding [his]327-jesse face has softened slightly . ‘ [We]2691-we ’re[864-you] going to have this conversation when [you]864-you ’re sound minded and not crazy with lust . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse draws back to the very tip of [his]327-jesse thick erection and hovers over [me]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse ’s right , [I]2342-matt ’m not sound minded when [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] around [him]327-jesse , especially when [he]327-jesse has [me]2342-matt like this . [He]327-jesse cripples [me]2342-matt with pleasure , and now [he]327-jesse ’s got [me]2342-matt saying crazy shit . [His]327-jesse tongue sweeps [his]327-jesse bottom lip and [he]327-jesse pants through parted lips as [he]327-jesse pushes forward , dragging [my]2342-matt dormant orgasm back to life . [My]2342-matt skin blazes as [he]327-jesse pumps slow and hard , and as deep as [he]327-jesse can get . Smoothing [my]2342-matt palms through [his]327-jesse hair , [I]2342-matt pull [him]327-jesse back down to [my]2342-matt lips and devour [him]327-jesse , while [he]327-jesse continues with [his]327-jesse deliberate drives , pushing [me]2342-matt closer and closer to yet another orgasmic orgasm . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] going to come , ’ [he]327-jesse mumbles . ‘[327-jesse] Come with [me]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . Give it to [me]2342-matt . ’ And with three more strikes , [my]832-ava mind goes blank and fireworks start exploding in [my]832-ava head . [I]832-ava burst beneath [him]327-jesse on a loud cry . ‘[832-ava] That ’s it , [baby]832-ava . ’ [He]327-jesse strains the words , joining [me]832-ava in [my]832-ava pleasure as [I]832-ava rein in [my]832-ava shouts , and moan , long and low . [His]327-jesse hardness expands , jerking within [me]832-ava , before releasing round after round of [his]327-jesse hot , wet seed deep inside [me]832-ava . [He]327-jesse collapses on top of [me]832-ava , pushing [his]327-jesse hips hard against [me]832-ava , ensuring [he]327-jesse empties every last bit of [himself]327-jesse . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] obliterated . [We]865-we both lay entangled , panting and struggling for breath . ‘ [I]866-he do n’t know what to say , ’[866-he] [he]866-he whispers against [my]2342-matt ear . [I]2342-matt ’m only just cognitive , still recovering from [my]2342-matt orgasm , but [I]2342-matt heard that loud and clear , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not quite sure what to make of it . [I]2342-matt think [we]865-we ’ve both said too much already . [My]2342-matt own little declaration has made [me]2342-matt a bit uncomfortable . That ’s what happens when [you]867-you get caught up in the moment . Lust , want and passion take over , and before [you]867-you know it , ridiculous words are flying out of [your]867-you mouth . After a few minutes silence , [I]2342-matt ’m beyond uncomfortable , so [I]2342-matt shuffle a bit under [him]866-he . ‘[2342-matt] Can [I]2342-matt use [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom now ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . [He]866-he sighs , long and deliberately , so wanting [me]2342-matt to be aware of [his]866-he frustration . [I]2342-matt ’ve no idea what [he]866-he ’s frustrated about , though . [He]866-he ’s had [me]2342-matt plenty . [He]866-he slides out and heaves [himself]866-he off of [me]2342-matt , making a huge , exaggerated effort of flopping back on the bed . [I]2342-matt peel [myself]2342-matt from the covers , without a word , and pad across the white carpet into [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom , shutting the door behind [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt know [he]866-he watched [my]2342-matt every step . [I]2342-matt could feel [his]866-he eyes hammering into [my]2342-matt naked back . The inevitable awkwardness has been delayed , but it ’s here now . And it ’s here with a vengeance . [I]2342-matt use the loo , wash [my]2342-matt hands and take a few moments to psych [myself]2342-matt up before [I]2342-matt open the door . [He]866-he ’s still sprawled on [his]866-he back , unapologetically naked , staring straight at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt do n’t know what to do . Eventually , [I]2342-matt turn back into [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom , grab a soft , white bath sheet from the tall towel rail and wrap [myself]2342-matt in it , tucking the end in under [my]2342-matt arm . [I]2342-matt exit [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom , head straight to the bedroom door and out into [the large living area]2692-the large living area . [I]2342-matt spot the shattered glass all over the kitchen floor , and it promptly reminds [me]2342-matt of last night when [he]866-he unexpectedly pounced on [me]2342-matt . It was always going to happen , whether [he]866-he jumped [me]2342-matt or not , but the easiness of [our]2693-our joined bodies has completely diminished , leaving space for only one thing … awkwardness [I]2342-matt find [my]2342-matt bags by the front door and rummage through to get [my]2342-matt phone . Holy shit ! It ’s seven thirty . [Kate]2557-kate ’s leaving in half hour – or supposed to be . [I]2342-matt sent [her]2557-kate a text to tell [her]2557-kate that [I]2342-matt was on [my]2342-matt way [home]281-home and [I]2342-matt have n’t turned up . [She]2557-kate has n’t bloody called to find out where [I]2342-matt am , though . [Charming]126-charming ! ‘[2342-matt] Fucking hell ! ’ [I]2342-matt curse under [my]2342-matt breath , spinning round and finding [Jesse]327-jesse – still naked , looking really rather angry . What the hell has [he]866-he got to be angry about ? It riles [me]2342-matt instantly . ‘[2342-matt] Mouth ! ’ [he]866-he growls at [me]2342-matt on a scowl . [He]866-he ’s really mad . Well , so am [I.]2342-matt With [myself]2342-matt ! [I]2342-matt scoop [my]2342-matt bag up and head for [[his]866-he bathroom]535-the bedroom , collecting [my]2342-matt discarded clothes on [my]2342-matt way . ‘[2342-matt] Can [I]2342-matt use [your]2342-matt shower ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] No ! ’ [he]866-he snaps . [I]2342-matt laugh . ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t be [a child]869-a child , [Jesse]327-jesse . ’ [My]327-jesse tone is condescending , and [I]327-jesse give [him]866-he an extra wide berth , passing [him]866-he swiftly on [my]327-jesse way back to [the bedroom]535-the bedroom . [I]327-jesse need not to be touching [him]866-he . [I]327-jesse go to shut the door , but [he]866-he slams [his]866-he shoulder into it , all but barging in behind [me]327-jesse . [I]327-jesse make a point of glaring at [him]866-he before [I]327-jesse move away to turn the shower on . Is [he]870-he mad about [my]327-jesse crazy pillow talk ? [I]327-jesse ca n’t blame [him]870-he . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] pretty mad with [myself]2342-matt . [He]870-he ’s absolutely right ; [I]2342-matt should keep quiet during sex . Come to think of it , so should [he]870-he . [He]870-he said some pretty crazy shit too . [I]2342-matt dig through [my]2342-matt bag to get yesterday ’s t - shirt , drop [my]2342-matt flip flops to the tiled floor , throw [my]2342-matt make - up bag by the sink and brush [my]2342-matt teeth , and the whole time , [Jesse]327-jesse stands there festering . When [the room]2350-the room is full of steam , [I]2342-matt drop the towel , totally brazen – [I]2342-matt ’m pissed , [I]2342-matt could n’t give a flying fuck – open the shower door and get in to wash off four rounds of [Jesse Ward]327-jesse . If [I]2342-matt was n’t so sticky , with sweat and cum all over [me]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt would n’t bother . [I]2342-matt would be gone already . The water is divine and relaxing , despite [my]2342-matt scowling spectator , as [I]2342-matt wash [my]2342-matt hair , letting the water fall over [me]2342-matt for the briefest of moments . But [I]2342-matt ’ve not got time to take full advantage of the soothing water . [I]2342-matt open [my]2342-matt eyes and the shower door is flung open , the cool air attacking [my]2342-matt wet , naked body . [Jesse]327-jesse is snarling at [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt ’re not going anywhere ! ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt barks . [I]2342-matt look at [him]2342-matt , completely exasperated , [my]2342-matt jaw hitting the shower tray . [He]2342-matt ’s made the most of [me]2342-matt while [I]2342-matt ’ve been [here]314-here . Is [he]2342-matt still not happy ? ‘ Yes , [I]2342-matt bloody am ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ No , [you]327-jesse ’re[2342-matt] not ! ’ ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , what ’s [your]327-jesse problem ? ’ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] stood in the shower , hot water pounding [me]2342-matt , cold air blasting [me]2342-matt , and facing a brooding hunk of [a male]874-a male . ‘ [YOU]327-jesse ! ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt yells . ‘ [Me]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] Oh , [the man]2342-matt has a nerve . [I]2342-matt turn the water off and push [my]2342-matt way past [his]2342-matt big body , ignoring the sparks that fly off of [me]2342-matt from the contact . Does [he]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt ’m an object [he]2342-matt can fuck at will and order about ? [I]2342-matt wrap a towel around [me]2342-matt , flinging one on [my]2342-matt head , roughing it all over to expel the water . [I]2342-matt ’ve not got time to dry it , and [I]2342-matt doubt [Mr Unreasonable]327-jesse [here]314-here has a hairdryer . [I]2342-matt feel [his]327-jesse hand wrap around the top of [my]2342-matt arm . [I]2342-matt brusquely yank it out of [his]327-jesse grasp , carrying on with getting [my]2342-matt underwear , jeans and top on . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t want [you]875-you to leave . ’ [His]327-jesse voice has softened . ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t be stupid , [Jesse]327-jesse . [You]875-you ca n’t keep [me]2342-matt here as [a sex slave]876-a sex slave . [You]875-you ’ve got [many willing women falling at [your]875-you feet]877-many willing women falling at your feet , go and busy [yourself]875-you with [one of [them]877-many willing women falling at your feet]460-one of them . ’ [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe how harsh [I]2342-matt sound . The thought of [him]460-one of them with [another woman]2697-another woman makes [me]2342-matt want to attack . [I]2342-matt catch [his]460-one of them eyes in the mirror . [They]877-many willing women falling at your feet are narrowed right on [me]2342-matt , burning [my]2342-matt skin . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t want [other women]879-other women . [I]2342-matt want [you]875-you . ’ [I]2342-matt pause , mid cream application . ‘[2342-matt] Have n’t [you]875-you had [me]2342-matt enough ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask , a massive part of [me]2342-matt wanting [him]2342-matt to say no , but knowing it ’s only going to end badly if [he]2342-matt does . [He]2342-matt reaches up , brushing [his]2342-matt knuckles down [my]2342-matt cheek . [I]2342-matt unconsciously nuzzle into it , closing [my]2342-matt eyes . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sorry , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says softly . [He]2342-matt wraps [his]2342-matt spare arm around [my]2342-matt waist , pulling [me]2342-matt to [his]2342-matt chest , resting [his]2342-matt lips against [my]2342-matt ear . ‘ Forgive [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] Oh God , what am [I]2342-matt doing ? [This man]2342-matt is a magnet . [He]2342-matt sucks all rationality right out of [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt turn [my]2342-matt face to [his]2342-matt , letting [him]2342-matt take [my]2342-matt mouth gently and hesitantly , [his]2342-matt hand moving from [my]2342-matt cheek to the back of [my]2342-matt head , [his]2342-matt fingers threading through [my]2342-matt wet hair . [He]2342-matt strokes [my]2342-matt tongue and skims [my]2342-matt lips worshipfully . [I]2342-matt ’m lost in [him]2342-matt again - completely lost . [He]2342-matt releases [my]2342-matt mouth . ‘[2342-matt] That ’s better . ’ [He]2342-matt plants a chaste kiss on [my]2342-matt nose . ‘[2342-matt] Do [you]880-you still want a ride ? ’ [I]2342-matt raise [my]2342-matt eyebrows on a grin . ‘[2342-matt] To [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car ? ’ [He]2342-matt presses [his]2342-matt lips to [mine]2342-matt and hums . ‘[128-cheeky] [Cheeky]128-cheeky . Give [me]2342-matt ten minutes . ’ [He]2342-matt turns the shower back on and grabs a fresh towel from the warmer . ‘[2342-matt] Can [I]2342-matt get some water ? ’ [I]832-ava ask . ‘[832-ava] Knock [yourself]880-you out , [baby]832-ava . ’ [He]2342-matt slaps [my]832-ava bum and jumps in the shower . Chapter 13 [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] on [my]2342-matt knees , gingerly plucking up pieces of glass from the kitchen floor , when [Jesse]327-jesse strolls in from [the bedroom]535-the bedroom . [I]2342-matt glance up . Oh , that gait of [his]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse rocks up to [me]2342-matt wearing heavy , beige board shorts , a white Ralph Lauren Polo shirt – collar turned up – and blue converse . The blonde hairs on [his]327-jesse muscled legs are bleached , highlighted by [his]327-jesse slight tan . [He]327-jesse ’s not shaved , but [his]327-jesse blonde stubble does n’t conceal [his]327-jesse handsome features . [I]2342-matt ’m on [my]2342-matt knees , lips parted , looking deprived . [He]327-jesse stops in front of [me]2342-matt , looking down with a grin on [his]327-jesse face . [He]327-jesse looks younger . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m afraid [you]2342-matt have [me]2342-matt at a disadvantage . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt tease . [His]327-jesse eyes sparkle with delight as [he]327-jesse squats in front of [me]2342-matt . ‘ It would seem [your]2342-matt disadvantage would be [my]327-jesse complete advantage . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse winks . [I]2342-matt want to jump [him]327-jesse , but with a hand full of glass shards , [us]884-us both fully dressed and late , [I]2342-matt shall resist . ‘ Here , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse holds both [his]327-jesse hands out in front of [him]327-jesse for [me]2342-matt to transfer the glass . ‘ [You]2342-matt should have left it , [you]2342-matt could have cut [yourself]2342-matt . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse moans at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt tip the glass into [his]327-jesse palms and heave [myself]2342-matt up from the floor , while [he]327-jesse empties [his]327-jesse hands , tipping the glass into the sink . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’ll sort it later . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse slips [his]327-jesse Wayfarer ’s on , collects [his]327-jesse keys and [my]2342-matt bags , before grabbing [my]2342-matt hand to lead [me]2342-matt to the door . ‘ Are [you]2342-matt working today ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . ‘ No , not much goes on at [The Manor]3-the manor during the day . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse winks at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt melt . [He]327-jesse ’s all roguish , and [I]2342-matt love it . [He]327-jesse opens the door and [we]885-we ’re immediately met by [a couple of scruffy looking men with clipboards]2698-a couple of scruffy looking men with clipboards , wearing blue overalls . The embroidered print on [their]2698-a couple of scruffy looking men with clipboards uniforms reads , “ B&C Removals ” . ‘[327-jesse] [Mr Ward]327-jesse ? ’ The one that looks like [a trucker]2699-a trucker asks , [his]327-jesse yellow teeth indicating at least fifty cigarettes and twenty cups of coffee a day . ‘[327-jesse] The boxes in [the spare room]886-the spare room go first . [[My]2342-matt housekeeper]887-my housekeeper will be here shortly to assist with the rest . ’ [He]327-jesse pulls [me]887-my housekeeper through [the corridor]2361-the corridor , leaving [the trucker type]2701-the trucker type and [[his]327-jesse lanky apprentice]2702-his lanky apprentice to get on with things . ‘[887-my housekeeper] Be careful with the ski and bike equipment . ’ [he]327-jesse yells behind [him]327-jesse . ‘[887-my housekeeper] [You]888-you have [a housekeeper]889-a housekeeper ? ’ [I]889-a housekeeper ask , completely stunned . [I]889-a housekeeper do n’t know why . [The man]327-jesse ’s brought [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse at [Lusso]66-lusso for a cool ten million . Why is this only just sinking in ? [He]889-a housekeeper ’s really rich . ‘[889-a housekeeper] [She]889-a housekeeper ’s [the only woman [I]2342-matt could n’t live without]889-a housekeeper , ’ [he]327-jesse replies flippantly . ‘[889-a housekeeper] [She]889-a housekeeper ’s off to [Ireland]30-ireland next week to visit [[her]889-a housekeeper family]890-her family . It ’ll all fall apart then . ’ [I]889-a housekeeper make it to [[my]889-a housekeeper car]2336-my car in record time , after [Jesse]327-jesse dipped and weaved through the early morning traffic . [Fellow drivers]2705-fellow drivers seem to be more accommodating to an [Aston Martin]122-aston martin and a few hand gestures . [He]327-jesse loads [my]889-a housekeeper bags into the back of [[my]889-a housekeeper car]2336-my car , while [I]889-a housekeeper check [my]889-a housekeeper phone . Ten past eight . Okay , [I]889-a housekeeper ’m[889-a housekeeper] late . [I]2342-matt fire a quick text to [Kate]2557-kate to tell [her]2557-kate [I]2342-matt ’m on [my]2342-matt way and look up , finding [him]327-jesse staring at [me]2342-matt . Even through [his]327-jesse Wayfarer ’s – which [he]327-jesse looks tremendous in – [I]2342-matt can feel that potent , green gaze blazing [my]2342-matt skin . [I]2342-matt open [the driver]2706-the driver ’s door of [[my]2342-matt Mini]2340-my mini , jump in and start the engine . [Jesse]327-jesse is crouched down by [my]2342-matt side before [I]2342-matt can close the door . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll take [you]2342-matt for lunch . ’ [he]327-jesse informs [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt told [you]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt ’ve got stacks to get done . ’ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not being sidetracked by roguish [Jesse]327-jesse , although [he]327-jesse is very distracting . ‘ Dinner then , ’[327-jesse] ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll ring [you]2342-matt later . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve spent the whole night with [him]327-jesse , [he]327-jesse ’s fucked [me]2342-matt into oblivion , and [I]2342-matt need some recovery time . [His]327-jesse shoulders sag and [he]327-jesse scowls heavily . ‘ Are [you]2342-matt refusing [me]327-jesse ? ’[327-jesse] ‘ No , [I]2342-matt ’ll call [you]2342-matt later . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say on a frown . ‘ Fine , ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse snaps . ‘ Make sure [you]2342-matt do . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse leans in , resting [his]327-jesse palm on [my]2342-matt jean clad thigh , and plants a deliberately scorching hot kiss on [my]2342-matt lips . [He]327-jesse knows what [he]327-jesse ’s doing . [He]327-jesse pulls back , leaving [me]2342-matt slightly breathless . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’ll wait for [your]65-ha call . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse says , strolling away , enhancing that bloody gait . That was a look - what - [your]65-ha - missing kiss . It worked . ‘ How old are [you]65-ha , [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout after [him]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse turns , walking backwards with a fraction of a grin tickling [his]327-jesse lips . ‘ Twenty four , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt drop [my]2342-matt shoulders , exhaling a long , exhausted breath . ‘ How many times have [I]2342-matt got to ask [you]65-ha before [we]2708-we get to [your]65-ha real age ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Quite a few , [lady]65-ha . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse lifts [his]327-jesse glasses up a touch and winks before turning away and resuming sexy stride . Everything [this man]327-jesse does is effortless and sexy as hell , the way [he]327-jesse carries [himself]327-jesse , all confident and virile . It ’s no wonder [women]348-women fall at [his]327-jesse feet . [He]327-jesse ’s [sex personified]893-sex personified . And [I]2342-matt can more than vouch for that . The engine rumbles to life and [he]327-jesse roars off like [a teenage rally driver]894-a teenage rally driver . Maybe [he]327-jesse is twenty four . [He]327-jesse certainly acts it sometimes . [I]2342-matt fly through the front door and up [the stairs]272-the stairs , finding [Kate]2557-kate drying [her]2557-kate hair on the landing . [She]2557-kate looks flustered , which means [she]2557-kate ’s running late . When [she]2557-kate spots [me]2342-matt , [she]2557-kate turns the dryer off and grins from ear to ear . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt ’m blushing from head to toe . It ’s not going to help [me]2342-matt if [I]2342-matt choose to go on the defensive . ‘[2342-matt] Good night ? ’ [she]2557-kate asks on an arched brow . [She]2557-kate does n’t seem in much of a rush now . [Her]2557-kate eyes are dancing in delight , and [I]2557-kate ca n’t help the smile breaking out across [my]2557-kate own face . ‘[2557-kate] It was okay . ’ [I]2557-kate shrug , reflexively grabbing a tendril of hair . What an understatement . Try mind - blowing , drop dead worthy . ‘[2557-kate] Ha ! ’ [she]2557-kate cries . ‘[2557-kate] Do tell . ’ [She]2557-kate bats [my]896-the new owner of the penthouse twiddling fingers away from [my]896-the new owner of the penthouse hair , looking at [me]896-the new owner of the penthouse expectedly . ‘[896-the new owner of the penthouse] Yeah , [he]896-the new owner of the penthouse ’s [a God]74-a god . [I]2342-matt ca n’t lie to [you]898-you . [He]896-the new owner of the penthouse ’s [the new owner of [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse]896-the new owner of the penthouse . ’ ‘[896-the new owner of the penthouse] Fuck off ! [He]896-the new owner of the penthouse ’s delicious and super rich ! ’ Yes , it would seem so . ‘[896-the new owner of the penthouse] Were n’t [you]898-you worried about [me]2342-matt ? [I]2342-matt left a message on [your]898-you phone . ’ [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [she]896-the new owner of the penthouse ’s not been worried about [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve not checked [my]2342-matt phone . Anyway , the way [he]896-the new owner of the penthouse was looking at [you]898-you , the only thing [I]2342-matt was worried about was [you]898-you not being able to walk this morning , ’ [She]900-her starts laughing as [she]900-her chucks [her]900-her dryer on the floor and makes [her]900-her way into [[her]900-her super tidy bedroom]2709-her super tidy bedroom . ‘[898-you] And , if [I]2342-matt ’m not mistaken , there ’s a limp . ’[900-her] [she]900-her calls back . [I]2342-matt am a bit sore , actually . Four rounds of [Jesse Ward]327-jesse has taken its toll on [my]2342-matt body . [I]2342-matt follow [her]900-her in , flopping on [her]900-her perfectly made bed . ‘ [Jesus]72-jesus , [Kate]2557-kate . [The man]2557-kate has experience . ’[2342-matt] That sudden thought reminds [me]2342-matt of all the many conquests that would have come before [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt screw [my]2342-matt face up in disgust . ‘ [You]72-jesus wanted uncomplicated fun . It looks like [you]72-jesus ’ve got it . High five ! ’[2342-matt] [She]900-her air slaps [me]2342-matt and leaves [the room]2350-the room . ‘ And there ’s [no girlfriend]2673-no girlfriend ? ’[900-her] Did [I]2342-matt want uncomplicated fun ? Will this be uncomplicated fun ? ‘ No , but [she]900-her wants [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt ’ve worked that much out . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Oh well , unlucky for [her]900-her . [I]2342-matt ’ve got to beat feet . [I]2342-matt ’ll be back tomorrow afternoon . What are [you]72-jesus up to while [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] gone ? ’ [I]2342-matt roll off [her]900-her bed and smooth the covers before leaving [[her]900-her immaculate room]2350-the room , shutting the door behind [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m going to sort [my]2342-matt stuff out . Have [we]2711-we got any bin bags ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Hurrah]129-hurrah ! [They]2711-we ’re[2342-matt] under the sink , ’ [She]902-she grabs [her]902-she bag from the top of [the stairs]272-the stairs and makes [her]902-she way down to the door . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt ’re more than welcome to borrow [Margo]1052-margo . ’[902-she] Is [she]902-she kidding [me]2342-matt ? [I]2342-matt ’d have to complete a ten month leg muscle workout programme to build up the strength to use that clutch . [I]2342-matt ’ve got cramp just thinking about it . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not going anywhere . Drive safe . ’ By six o’clock , [I]902-she ’m[902-she] sat in the middle of [[my]2342-matt room]2682-my room surrounded by bin bags . [I]2342-matt ’ve been brutal . Clearly , [my]2342-matt last sort out was half - hearted because [I]2342-matt ’ve accumulated four sacks of clothes for [the charity shop]904-the charity shop . If [I]2342-matt ’ve not worn it in the last six months , then it ’s in one of those four bags . All of [my]2342-matt remaining clothes have been washed and ironed , and are now folded neatly in an organised manner . [I]2342-matt feel cleansed . [I]2342-matt empty [my]2342-matt waste paper basket into a rubbish sack . The calla lily that [Jesse]327-jesse gave [me]2342-matt tumbles out . It ’s all shriveled and discoloured . [I]2342-matt should have put it in some water , but back then , [I]2342-matt did n’t plan on seeing [the man]2342-matt again . [I]2342-matt wanted to forget about [him]2342-matt . Impossible . [I]2342-matt smile to [myself]2342-matt , tying the sack and carting it out to the bin . [I]2342-matt collapse on the sofa with a bottle of wine and a family size bar of chocolate to catch up on Saturday night , crappy television . A few hours later , [I]2342-matt ’m staring at the last cube of chocolate and feeling slightly nauseous . [I]2342-matt really need to start buying a regular size . [I]2342-matt pop it in and chomp lazily as [I]2342-matt flick the channels repeatedly . The sound of [my]2342-matt phone drags [me]2342-matt from the sofa , [my]2342-matt heart giving a little skip . It could be [Jesse]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt groan . It ’s [Matt]2342-matt . What does [he]2342-matt want ? It ’s Saturday night and [he]2342-matt ’s newly single to do what [he]2342-matt pleases . Not that [our]2713-our relationship ever stopped [him]2342-matt from doing exactly that anyway . ‘[2342-matt] Hello ? ’ ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [you]832-ava okay ? ’ [He]2342-matt does n’t sound drunk . ‘[832-ava] Yeah , are [you]832-ava ? ’ What does [he]2342-matt want ? ‘[832-ava] Good , how did yesterday go ? ’ [My]832-ava wine glass halts on its way to [my]832-ava lips . Why do [I]832-ava feel interrogated all of a sudden ? It ’s just a friendly question . What should [I]832-ava say ? [I]832-ava had sex in [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse with [the new owner]2624-the new owner ; [I]832-ava went [home]281-home with [him]2342-matt ; [he]2342-matt fucked [me]832-ava up the arse ; [he]2342-matt ’s older , [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] not sure how much older , but an absolute Adonis ; [I]2342-matt ca n’t walk properly today … ‘ Really good , thanks . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say instead . ‘ Great , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt chirps , but then there ’s a long pause . Why all the sudden interest in [my]2342-matt career ? When [I]2342-matt told [him]2342-matt that [I]2342-matt ’d won the Lusso contract , [he]2342-matt ’d asked [me]2342-matt what [I]2342-matt ’d done for dinner . [I]2342-matt hear [him]2342-matt draw breath . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , do [you]832-ava fancy lunch on Tuesday ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt does n’t sound right . [He]2342-matt sounds all nervous and timid , not the usual conceited , sure [Matt]2342-matt that [I]2342-matt know . What ’s [he]2342-matt doing in on a Saturday night ? ‘ Sure , is everything okay ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Not really . [I]2342-matt ’ll speak to [you]832-ava Tuesday , yeah ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Okay . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt reply hesitantly . [I]2342-matt hope nothing dreadful has happened . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll meet [you]832-ava at [Baroque]130-baroque at one o’clock . Is that okay ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Of course , [I]2342-matt ’ll see [you]832-ava then . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hang up . [He]2342-matt really does n’t sound good . [He]2342-matt might be [an arrogant , cheating rat]906-an arrogant , cheating rat , and [I]2342-matt might be well shot of [him]2342-matt , but [you]907-you do n’t just stop caring . [I]2342-matt flick the television off and take [myself]2342-matt to [[my]2342-matt newly cleansed bedroom]908-my newly cleansed bedroom , retreating hastily under [my]2342-matt duvet . [I]2342-matt ’m completely whacked . Being tucked up in bed at this time on a Saturday night is new territory for [me]2342-matt these days , but after [my]2342-matt recent exertions , the sleep is most welcome . * * * [I]2342-matt come awake to music and stretch in [my]2342-matt bed . It ’s a lovely satisfied stretch that tells [me]2342-matt [I]2342-matt ’ve had a very restful sleep . [I]2342-matt sit up . What is that ? It takes a while for [my]2342-matt brain to kick into awake mode , but when it ’s does , [I]2342-matt can still hear music . [I]2342-matt brush [my]2342-matt hair from [my]2342-matt face . The music stops . Huh ? Is [Kate]2557-kate back already ? [I]2342-matt glance at [my]2342-matt clock . Nine o’clock ? Christ , [I]2342-matt ’ve not slept this late in years . [I]2342-matt flop back on [my]2342-matt pillow with a smile . It would seem that [Jesse Ward]327-jesse is good for [my]2342-matt sex life and [my]2342-matt sleep . There ’s that music again . The familiar sound of [Noel Gallagher]131-noel gallagher ’s Sunday Morning Call penetrates [my]2342-matt ear drums . [I]2342-matt love that track . [I]2342-matt frown , reaching for [my]2342-matt phone and see [Jesse]327-jesse ’s name flashing on the screen . [I]2342-matt smile as [I]2342-matt connect the call . ‘[2342-matt] How did [you]909-you do that ? ’ [My]2342-matt voice is husky from sleep . ‘[2342-matt] Do what ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks . [I]909-you ca n’t see [him]2342-matt , but [I]909-you know [he]2342-matt ’s grinning that cocky , sexy grin . ‘[909-you] [You]909-you rigged [my]2342-matt phone . ’ [I]909-you accuse . ‘[909-you] Where are [you]909-you ? ’ ‘[909-you] In bed . ’ Recovering from [you]909-you ! ‘[909-you] Naked ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks – all low and husky . Oh no ! [I]909-you ’m[909-you] not getting into sleazy phone sex . [I]2342-matt know where this is going . [His]2342-matt voice does things to [me]2342-matt . ‘ No , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt could remedy that . ’ [I]2342-matt shudder at the thought . How can [he]2342-matt spark such reactions by being on the end of the phone ? ‘[2342-matt] How ’s [[your]909-you new apartment]910-your new apartment ? ’ [I]909-you need to change the direction of conversation quickly . ‘[909-you] Full of Italian shit . ’ ‘[909-you] Funny . Where are [you]909-you ? ’ [He]2342-matt sighs . ‘[909-you] At [The Manor]2356-the manor , [you]909-you said [you]909-you would call . ’ [He]2342-matt sounds slighted . Yes , [I]909-you did say [I]909-you would call , but it ’s only been twenty four hours – ish , and [I]909-you ’m[909-you] majorly uncomfortable with the fact that [I]2342-matt really , really wanted to call [him]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt got carried away sorting [[my]2342-matt room]2682-my room out . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt did . And it ’s a good job done . [I]2342-matt ’m ignoring the fact that [I]2342-matt purposely kept [myself]2342-matt busy . ‘[2342-matt] What are [you]909-you doing today ? [I]2342-matt want to see [you]909-you . ’ What ? Just like that ? [Christ]72-jesus , has n’t [he]2342-matt had enough of [me]2342-matt ? Obviously not , but is this a good Idea ? Damn , [I]2342-matt want to see [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] much too young for [him]2342-matt . And [I]2342-matt would n’t trust [him]2342-matt as far as [I]2342-matt can throw [him]2342-matt . With [his]2342-matt looks , confidence and talent in [the pleasure department]912-the pleasure department , [he]2342-matt ’s a sure fire way to a broken heart . [I]2342-matt need [a reliable , trustworthy man]913-a reliable , trustworthy man – [a man who ’ll look after [me]2342-matt and walk on hot coals for [me]2342-matt]913-a reliable , trustworthy man . [I]2342-matt silently laugh . [My]2342-matt expectations are ridiculously high , but given [my]2342-matt last two relationships , [I]2342-matt ’m sticking to the plan . If [Jesse]327-jesse wants to see [me]2342-matt , it should be on [my]2342-matt terms . [I]2342-matt ca n’t be seen to be desperate . ‘[2342-matt] No can do , ’ [I]2342-matt say dismissively . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m super busy . ’[2342-matt] Doing sweet fuck all ! Damn , [I]2342-matt want to see [him]2342-matt . ‘ Busy doing what ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt ’s shocked . Why would n’t [I]2342-matt be busy ? [I]2342-matt have a life . ‘ All sorts . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Are [you]2342-matt fiddling with [your]2342-matt hair , by any chance ? ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt voice is full of humour . [I]2342-matt pause , mid - twiddle . How has [he]2342-matt cottoned on to that ? ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll call [you]2342-matt tomorrow . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt inform [him]2342-matt . Will [I]2342-matt ? [I]2342-matt ’m just about to hang up when [I]2342-matt hear that cold , unfriendly voice [I]2342-matt hate so much . What the bloody hell is [she]914-she doing there ? [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] uncomfortable with how uncomfortable that makes [me]2342-matt feel . Why should [I]2342-matt care ? ‘ [Ava]832-ava , wait a minute . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt must cover [his]2342-matt phone because the voices become muffled , but it ’s definitely [her]914-she . [I]2342-matt bristle all over , which is crazy stupid . ‘ [Sarah]54-victoria , just give [me]2342-matt a second , will [you]54-victoria ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt sounds slightly pissed . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , are [you]54-victoria there ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt should just hang up . ‘ Yeah , ’[2342-matt] Damn [me]2342-matt ! ‘ [You]54-victoria ’ll call tomorrow . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says . It‘s a statement , not a question . ‘ [I]2342-matt will . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hang up quickly . That was not how [I]2342-matt wanted to end the conversation . [He]2342-matt pretty much told [me]2342-matt to call , and [I]2342-matt agreed . That is not being on the front foot . [I]2342-matt huff [my]2342-matt way out of bed and take [myself]2342-matt to [the shower]915-the shower . What am [I]2342-matt going to do all day , anyway ? [Kate]2557-kate ’s not [home]281-home and [the house]308-the place is spick and span , as usual . [I]2342-matt need something to divert [my]2342-matt unreasonable , jealous frame of mind . Chapter 14 ‘ Fucking hell ! ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate ’s stood in [my]2342-matt bedroom doorway , open mouthed and wide eyed . ‘ What happened ? ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt tuck [my]2342-matt black shirt into [my]2342-matt capri pants and marvel at how easily [I]2342-matt locate [my]2342-matt black , suede heels and gold belt . [I]2342-matt really am very organised this morning . ‘ How ’s [your]2342-matt Gran ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask , feeding [my]2342-matt belt through the loops of [my]2342-matt trousers . ‘ Still senile . What did [you]919-you get up to while [I]2557-kate was gone ? ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate starts plumping a pillow on [my]2342-matt bed . [I]2342-matt gesture around [the room]2350-the room , with a what - do - [you]919-you - think look , leaving out the fact that [Matt]2342-matt called and [I]2342-matt agreed to meet [him]2342-matt . Oh , [I]2342-matt ’ll also omit [the Jesse]327-jesse call that resulted in [me]2342-matt sulking for the best part of yesterday . How ridiculous ! ‘ What time did [you]919-you get back ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [I]2342-matt ’d given up waiting and pigged [Kate]2557-kate ’s half of the wine after [I]2342-matt called and discovered that [she]2557-kate was stuck at [junction nineteen of [the M1]31-the m1]920-junction nineteen of the m1 . ‘ Ten . [All of the commuters returning to [the city]2326-the city]2718-all of the commuters returning to the city were clogging [the roads]570-the roads . [I]2557-kate ’ll do [the train]2721-the train next time . Can [I]2557-kate borrow [you]919-you after work ? ’[2557-kate] ‘ Sure , what for ? ’[2557-kate] ‘ [I]2557-kate ’ve got a cake delivery [I]2557-kate need some help with . ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate says . ‘ No worries . Pick [me]2557-kate up from [the office]279-the office at six . ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt grab [my]2342-matt black bag from [[my]2342-matt newly organised bag cupboard]921-my newly organised bag cupboard and start transferring [my]2342-matt things from last week ’s bag . ‘ Will do , have [you]919-you heard from [the God]2723-the god ? ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt head snaps up , and [I]2342-matt find [Kate]2557-kate grinning from ear to ear as [she]2557-kate folds up [my]2342-matt bed throw . [I]2342-matt narrow [my]2342-matt eyes on [her]2557-kate before presenting [myself]2342-matt to the mirror to put [my]2342-matt gloss on . ‘ [You]919-you mean [the Lord]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt called . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt disclose casually , popping [my]2342-matt lips and catching [her]2557-kate reflection . [She]2557-kate ’s still grinning . ‘ What ? ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt gasp . ‘ Have [we]2725-we established an age ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scoff . ‘ No , [I]2342-matt keep asking and [he]2342-matt keeps lying . It ’s obviously an issue . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Well , [the man]2342-matt ’s landed [himself]2342-matt a hot bird of twenty six . [He]2342-matt probably ca n’t believe [his]2342-matt luck . [He]2342-matt ’s thirty five , maximum . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [He]2342-matt has n’t landed [me]2342-matt . It ’s just sex . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt correct [her]2557-kate , rather unconvincingly . [I]2342-matt collect [my]2342-matt bag , leaving [Kate]2557-kate tweaking [my]2342-matt bed covers as [I]2342-matt head to [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , pour [myself]2342-matt some orange juice and take [my]2342-matt phone off charge . [Kate]2557-kate waltzes in as [I]2342-matt ’m feeding [myself]2557-kate [my]2557-kate pill . [She]2557-kate flicks the kettle on . ‘[2557-kate] [You]923-you ca n’t beat a good screw with an Adonis to get [you]923-you over a relationship . [He]924-he ’s [your]923-you rebound fuck . ’ [I]924-he laugh . Yes , that ’s exactly what [he]924-he is . Not that [I]924-he needed any distractions to get over [Matt]2342-matt . That was pretty easy . ‘[924-he] Correct , ’ [I]2342-matt agree . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll see [you]923-you after work . ’ [She]2557-kate leans over the banister as [I]2342-matt run down [the stairs]272-the stairs . ‘[2342-matt] Six o’clock ! ’ It ’s a usual Monday morning again , but most unusual is that [everyone]282-everyone is here . There ’s always at least one of [us]2728-us out of [the office]279-the office on [site]2730-site visits or appointments . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen with [Patrick]327-jesse , filling [him]327-jesse in on [[Mrs Kent]86-mrs kent ’s new house]926-mrs kent ’s new house . ‘ Have [you]923-you ever asked [her]86-mrs kent if [she]86-mrs kent would change the theme ? It may influence whether it feels like [home]281-home . It would potentially save [Mr K]132-mr k a fortune , ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse laughs . ‘ Not that [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] complaining , of course . [She]86-mrs kent can move every year for the rest of [her]86-mrs kent life , for all [I]2342-matt care , as long as [she]86-mrs kent keeps contracting [you]927-you to jazz the place up . ’ [I]86-mrs kent frown . ‘[86-mrs kent] Jazz ? [I]2342-matt do more than jazz the place up , [Patrick]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt do n’t know . [She]86-mrs kent insists on modern everything , but [I]2342-matt ’m not sure it ’s really [her]86-mrs kent thing . [I]2342-matt think [she]86-mrs kent gets bored . That or [she]86-mrs kent loves having [the workmen]2732-the workmen around . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt raise [my]2342-matt eyebrows on a laugh . ‘ Now , there ’s a thought , ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse laughs with [me]2342-matt . ‘ [The old goat]2733-the old goat is seventy , if a day . Maybe [she]86-mrs kent should get [a toy - boy]2734-a toy - boy . [God]68-god knows , [Mr K]132-mr k has plenty on young scrumpet scattered around [the globe]2735-the globe . [I]327-jesse have that straight from a very reliable source . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse winks at [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt smile fondly at [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt know [Patrick]327-jesse ’s referring to [[his]327-jesse wife]63-his wife , [Irene]363-irene . If it ’s happening in [this town]929-this town , [Irene]363-irene knows about it . [She]363-irene ’s [a self - confessed busy body]930-a self - confessed busy body , know - it - all and gossip . If [she]363-irene does n’t know about it , then it is n’t worth knowing about . [I]2342-matt do n’t know how [Patrick]327-jesse puts up with [her]363-irene . It must be exhausting to be subjected to [her]363-irene oral cavity on a daily basis . Luckily , [she]363-irene only swings by [the office]279-the office once a week before [her]363-irene wash and set . Nodding and concurring is manageable for the half hour [she]363-irene spends bringing [us]932-us up to date on [her]363-irene hectic social life , and that of [others]933-others . [I]2342-matt try [my]2342-matt very hardest to arrange appointments for a Wednesday around noon , when [I]2342-matt know [she]363-irene ’ll be in . [Patrick]327-jesse is friendly and jolly ; [I]2342-matt love [him]327-jesse . [Irene]363-irene is terrifying ; [she]363-irene scares the crap out of [me]2342-matt . ‘ How is [Irene]363-irene ? ’[363-irene] [I]2342-matt ask politely . [I]2342-matt really do n’t care . [He]327-jesse throws [his]327-jesse hands up in despair . ‘ [She]363-irene drives [me]327-jesse insane . [The woman]363-irene has the attention span of [a toddler]2736-a toddler . [She]363-irene ’s ditched playing bridge and has now informed [me]327-jesse that [she]363-irene ’s enrolled in some Kumba dancing nonsense . [I]327-jesse ca n’t keep up with [her]363-irene . ’[327-jesse] ‘ [You]363-irene mean [Zumba]133-zumba ? ’[327-jesse] ‘ That ’s the one , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse points [his]327-jesse chocolate digestive at [me]2342-matt . ‘ It ’s all the rage , apparently . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt chuckle at the thought of [Irene]363-irene in a leopard print leotard , jigging [her]363-irene over generous rump all over [the place]308-the place . ‘ Oh , [Van Der Haus]118-mikael wants to meet [you]118-mikael on Wednesday , ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse winks . ‘ [They]2737-they really want [you]118-mikael , flower . ’[327-jesse] ‘ Really ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse laughs . ‘ [You]118-mikael ’re[327-jesse] too modest , [[my]2342-matt girl]363-irene . [I]2342-matt checked [your]363-irene diary and pencilled in twelve thirty . [He]327-jesse ’s at [the Royal Park]935-the royal park . Is that okay ? ’ ‘[327-jesse] Absolutely , ’ [I]2342-matt do n’t need to check because [Patrick]327-jesse ’s already took the liberty of doing that for [me]2342-matt . And damn if it is n’t going to get [me]2342-matt out of enduring this week ’s update from [Irene]363-irene . [I]2342-matt push [myself]2342-matt away from the kitchen worktop by [my]2342-matt bum and head for [my]2342-matt desk . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m going to finalise some drawings and email [some contractors]2738-some contractors . ’[327-jesse] [His]327-jesse mobile starts ringing . ‘ What does [she]363-irene want now ? ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt hear [him]327-jesse grumble . As [I]2342-matt ’m getting ready to run over to [the deli]2739-the deli to grab some lunch , [Tom]60-tom prances up to [my]2342-matt desk . ‘[2342-matt] Delivery for [Ava]832-ava ! ’ [he]327-jesse screeches at [me]832-ava , placing a box on [my]832-ava desk . What ’s this ? [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] not expecting any catalogues . ‘ Thanks , [Tom]60-tom . Did [you]60-tom have a good night on Friday ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse gasps on a grin . ‘ [I]327-jesse met [the scientist]327-jesse . Oh [my]327-jesse , but [the man]465-that man is divine ! ’[327-jesse] Not as divine as [mine]2342-matt ! [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head in shock at [my]2342-matt own wayward thoughts . Where did that come from ? ‘ So , that would be a yes ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt confirm . ‘ Yes . Tell [me]327-jesse who [that man]465-that man was ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse plants [his]327-jesse hands on [my]2342-matt desk , leaning in towards [me]2342-matt . ‘ [What man]465-that man ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blurt , far too quickly . [I]2342-matt retreat in [my]2342-matt chair to get some distance from the interrogating presence of [[my]2342-matt nosey , gay friend]936-my nosey , gay friend . ‘ [Your]60-tom reaction speaks volumes . ’[327-jesse] [His]327-jesse eyes narrow on [me]2342-matt as [my]2342-matt face burns up . ‘ [He]60-tom ’s just [a client]2741-a client . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shrug . [Tom]60-tom ’s scrutinising stare moves to [my]2342-matt fingers that are currently playing with a lock of [my]2342-matt hair . [I]2342-matt release it , quickly picking up a pen . [I]2342-matt need to work on this lying business . [I]2342-matt ’m truly rubbish at it . [His]60-tom tongue moves into [his]60-tom cheek as [he]60-tom straightens [himself]60-tom and walks away from [my]134-giuseppe cavalli desk . What ’s wrong with [me]134-giuseppe cavalli ? So what ! [I]134-giuseppe cavalli ’ve been fucking [a handsome , thirty - something man]2742-a handsome , thirty - something man . Or is it forty - something ? [He]60-tom ’s [my]134-giuseppe cavalli rebound fuck . [I]134-giuseppe cavalli yank the box open , finding a single calla lily on top of a book that ’s wrapped in tissue paper . ‘[134-giuseppe cavalli] [Giuseppe Cavalli]134-giuseppe cavalli . 1936 - 1961 ’ Oh ? [I]937-a normal mid - twenties girl open the cover . A note slips out . [Ava]832-ava , To [me]937-a normal mid - twenties girl , [you]832-ava are a book [I]937-a normal mid - twenties girl have opened . [I]937-a normal mid - twenties girl ca n’t put it down . [I]937-a normal mid - twenties girl need to know more . Jx Holy shit ! What does [he]134-giuseppe cavalli want to know ? There ’s absolutely nothing to know . [I]937-a normal mid - twenties girl ’m[937-a normal mid - twenties girl] just [a normal mid - twenties girl]937-a normal mid - twenties girl . [He]134-giuseppe cavalli could start with telling [me]2342-matt a few things , like how old [he]134-giuseppe cavalli is , for a start . Is it normal to send gifts to [someone]587-someone [you]939-she ’re fucking ? Maybe it is for [a mature man]2743-a mature man . [I]939-she do n’t have time to think about this at the moment . [I]939-she ’ve got a heap of emails to respond to and furniture deliveries to chase . [I]939-she throw the book in [my]939-she bag , pop the lily in [my]939-she top drawer and dart over to [the deli]2739-the deli for lunch , before cracking on . At six o’clock , [Margo]1052-margo hisses and bangs up to [the pavement]2745-the pavement to pick [me]939-she up . [I]939-she battle with the rusty handle and finally climb in , pushing a dozen cake magazines and empty Starbucks cups to the floor before [I]939-she can settle [myself]939-she on the seat . ‘[939-she] [You]939-she need [a new delivery van]600-the van . ’ [I]939-she grumble . Considering how [crazy tidy Kate]2557-kate is at [home]281-home , [Margo]1052-margo is [the pits]1052-margo . ‘[939-she] Shhhh , [you]939-she ’ll hurt [her]939-she feelings . ’ [She]939-she grins . ‘[939-she] Good day ? ’ [She]939-she eyes [me]2342-matt warily . [My]2342-matt shoulders slump spectacularly . [I]2342-matt got zero work done . Instead , [I]2342-matt spent all day thinking about a certain stunning creature of an age [I]2342-matt do n’t know . [I]2342-matt get the book and note out of [my]2342-matt bag and hand it to [her]939-she across [the van]600-the van . [She]939-she takes it from [me]2342-matt , uncertainty marring [her]939-she pretty , pale features , as [she]939-she opens the front sleeve and the note slips onto [her]939-she lap . [She]939-she picks it up , scans the words and gapes at [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt know . ’ [I]2342-matt say in agreement to [her]939-she stunned face . [She]939-she reads the note again , [her]939-she gaped mouth closing and turning into a grin . ‘[2342-matt] Yikes ! [The Lord]349-the lord is deep . ’ [She]939-she thrusts the book back at [me]349-the lord and pulls into the traffic . ‘[349-the lord] [He]349-the lord is . ’ [I]349-the lord start thinking about pillow talk , but just as fast , [I]349-the lord stop thinking about pillow talk . ‘[349-the lord] Just how good in bed are [we]942-we talking [here]314-here ? ’ [Kate]2557-kate asks casually , keeping [her]2557-kate eyes on [the road]2482-the road . [My]349-the lord head snaps to the side to look at [her]2557-kate , but [she]2557-kate wo n’t return [my]349-the lord stare . ‘[349-the lord] Very . ’ [I]349-the lord reply . The best , amazing , mind blowing ! [I]349-the lord want to do it again and again and again ! ‘[349-the lord] Will this be a pin - ball rebound ? ’ [I]349-the lord sigh . ‘[349-the lord] Yes , [I]2342-matt think it will . And not just because of the sex . ’ [She]2557-kate reaches over and squeezes [my]349-the lord knee , smiling thoughtfully . [She]2557-kate knows what ’s happening here . [We]942-we slow at the entrance of [a residential street]2748-a residential street , and [Kate]2557-kate brings [Margo]1052-margo to a stop . ‘[349-the lord] Right , get in the back . ’ [she]832-ava orders . ‘[349-the lord] What ? ’ ‘[832-ava] Get in the back , [Ava]832-ava ! ’ [She]832-ava reinforces [her]832-ava instructions with a batting of [my]832-ava knee . ‘[832-ava] Why ? ’ [I]832-ava know [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] frowning heavily . Why on [earth]944-earth does [she]832-ava want [me]2342-matt in the back ? [She]832-ava points down [the street]945-the street and realisation dawns on [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt look at [her]832-ava , completely wide eyed . [She]832-ava has the decency to look a little apologetic . ‘ [I]832-ava ’ve strapped , padded and cushioned , but [this street]945-the street is a fucking nightmare . That cake took [me]832-ava two weeks to finish . If it goes over , [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] fucked . ’ [I]832-ava turn [my]832-ava gaped mouth away from [Kate]2557-kate and look down the tree lined street , with [parked cars]2749-parked cars on both sides and [room]2750-room for one line of traffic down the middle . That ’s not what ’s bothering [me]832-ava , though . It ’s the vicious , black , rubber speed humps dotted every twenty yards that have [my]832-ava attention . Oh God , [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] going to be tossed about like a penny in a tumble dryer . ‘ Ca n’t [we]2751-we carry it ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask desperately . ‘ It ’s five tiers and it weighs a ton . Just hold onto the box . It ’ll be fine . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt exhale , unclipping [my]2342-matt seatbelt . ‘ [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [you]2342-matt ’ve got [me]2342-matt doing this , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt grumble , climbing into the back of [the van]600-the van and wrapping [my]2342-matt arms around the tall cake box . ‘ Could n’t [you]2342-matt assemble it on site ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Nope , ’[947-she] ‘ Why ? ’[947-she] ‘ [I]947-she just could n’t . Hold the fucking cake ! ’[947-she] [she]947-she yells impatiently . [I]2342-matt tighten [my]2342-matt grip , spreading [my]2342-matt legs to keep [my]2342-matt balance , and lay [my]2342-matt cheek against the box . [We]948-we ’re positioned at the mouth of [the road]2482-the road , engine revving and looking like something out of a comedy sketch . ‘[948-we] Ready ? ’ [she]947-she calls back . [I]948-we hear [Margo]1052-margo crunch into gear . ‘[948-we] Just bloody get on with it , will [you]949-you ? ’ [I]949-you snap . [She]947-she ’s giggling as [she]947-she slowly starts creeping forward . [A car horn]2753-a car horn starts honking impatiently from behind . ‘[949-you] Fuck off , [you]949-you tosser ! ’ [Kate]2557-kate yells as [we]948-we hit [our]948-we first speed hump . [I]949-you ’m[949-you] propelled into the air , [my]2342-matt face squishing against the box , [my]2342-matt heels sliding from under [me]2342-matt . ‘ [Kate]2557-kate ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt screech , landing on [my]2342-matt arse . ‘ Do n’t let go of that box ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scramble back to [my]2342-matt feet , grabbing the box , just as the back wheels jolt down the other side of the hump . ‘ Will [you]949-you take it easy ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]950-she need a run up , else [she]950-she wo n’t make it over ! ’[950-she] [she]950-she exclaims , hitting another hump . ‘ Bloody hell ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m catapulted into the air , landing with an almighty thud . ‘[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate ! ’ [She]950-she ’s laughing hard now , only serving to piss [me]2557-kate off more . ‘[2557-kate] Sorry ! ’ [she]950-she gasps . ‘[2557-kate] No , [you]2557-kate ’re not . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt grate , pulling [myself]2342-matt up again . [I]2342-matt kick [my]2342-matt heels off to try and get a better balance . ‘ Oh , no , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blow [my]2342-matt hair out of [my]2342-matt face . ‘ What ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not reversing mister ! ’ [she]950-she hisses . [I]2342-matt spot a Jaguar driving at [us]2754-us and with only enough width for [one vehicle]2755-one vehicle and no space to pull in , it ’s a standoff . A string of loud car horns start singing out around [us]2754-us as [Kate]2557-kate proceeds forward , knocking [me]2342-matt all over the place in [the back of [Margo]1052-margo]2756-the back of margo . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll ram [you]2557-kate , ’ [she]950-she warns [Mr Jaguar]135-mr jaguar , smacking [her]950-she horn repeatedly . ‘[2342-matt] Is the cake okay ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Yes ! Do n’t [you]2557-kate dare let [him]951-him win , ’ [I]2557-kate yell , landing on [my]2557-kate backside again . ‘[2557-kate] Shit ! ’ ‘[2557-kate] Hang on , only two more to go . ’ ‘[2557-kate] Oh God ! ’ Two jolts later and probably another two more bruises on [my]2557-kate behind , [we]953-we ’re[2557-kate] double parked and unloading the stupid five tier cake . [Mr Jaguar]135-mr jaguar is honking , cursing and throwing hand gestures all over [the place]308-the place , but [we]953-we ignore [him]135-mr jaguar . [My]2342-matt feet are still bare as [I]2342-matt help [Kate]2557-kate out with the cake , delivering it into [the massive kitchen of [Mrs Link]136-mrs link]954-the massive kitchen of mrs link , who ’s throwing a sweet sixteen for [[her]2557-kate daughter]955-her daughter . [I]2342-matt leave [Kate]2557-kate to sort the rest and go back to [Margo]1052-margo to wait for [her]955-her daughter , ignoring the car horns as [I]2342-matt look for [my]2342-matt shoes in the back . [They]956-they could be anywhere . [Noel Gallagher]131-noel gallagher invades [my]2342-matt eardrums , singing Sunday Morning Call from the front seat and [my]2342-matt heart – which is currently hammering through exhaustion – starts hammering an excited drum in [my]2342-matt chest . [I]2342-matt abandon shoe searching to scramble to the front and answer , ignoring the reasons for [my]2342-matt keenness to speak to [him]131-noel gallagher . ‘ Hey , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt puff down the phone , jumping out and slumping against the side of [Margo]1052-margo . [I]2342-matt ’m fucking knackered ! ‘[2342-matt] Okay . Now , [I]2342-matt know it ’s not [me]2342-matt that ’s worn [you]957-you out , so do [you]957-you mind telling [me]2342-matt who has [you]957-you puffing and panting like [you]957-you ’ve been fucked into next week ? ’ [I]957-you smile . Oh , [his]957-you voice is a welcome distraction from the fiasco of the last twenty minutes . ‘[957-you] What ’s with all the car horns ? ’ [he]959-an overweight , balding , middle aged businessman approaching with a face like thunder asks . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m delivering a cake with [Kate]2557-kate , [we]2757-we ’re[2342-matt] blocking [the road]2482-the road . ’ [I]2342-matt explain , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] distracted by [an overweight , balding , middle aged businessman approaching with a face like thunder]959-an overweight , balding , middle aged businessman approaching with a face like thunder . ‘ Move [the van]600-the van , [you]959-an overweight , balding , middle aged businessman approaching with a face like thunder stupid fucking cow ! ’[959-an overweight , balding , middle aged businessman approaching with a face like thunder] [he]959-an overweight , balding , middle aged businessman approaching with a face like thunder bellows at [me]2342-matt , waving [his]959-an overweight , balding , middle aged businessman approaching with a face like thunder arms about . Oh shit . [Kate]2557-kate , hurry up ! ‘ Who the FUCK is that ? ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse yells down the phone . ‘ [No one]2594-no one , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blurt . [Big baldy]137-big baldy kicks [Margo]1052-margo ’s tyre . ‘ Move it , [bitch]2557-kate ! ’[137-big baldy] Oh hell , [he]137-big baldy ’s [a mad middle aged , balding man]960-a mad middle aged , balding man . [I]2342-matt hear [Jesse]327-jesse growl . ‘ Tell [me]327-jesse [he]137-big baldy did n’t just say that . ’[327-jesse] [His]327-jesse voice is sadistic . ‘ It ’s fine . [Kate]2557-kate ’s coming now . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt lie on a squeak . ‘ Where are [you]2557-kate ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t know , somewhere in [Belgravia]32-belgravia . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt did n’t really take much notice . [I]2342-matt was too busy being flung around in the back of [Margo]1052-margo to take notes of street names . [Big baldy]137-big baldy shoves [me]2342-matt . ‘ Are [you]2557-kate fucking deaf , [[you]2557-kate stupid bitch]2557-kate ? ’[137-big baldy] Oh shit , [he]137-big baldy ’s going to crack [me]2342-matt one . [I]2342-matt can hear [Jesse]327-jesse hyperventilating down the phone , but then [he]137-big baldy ’s gone . [I]2342-matt glance at [my]2342-matt screen and see the call has ended . Snapping [my]2342-matt head up , [I]2342-matt look towards the steps that lead to [[Mrs Link]136-mrs link ’s house]961-mrs link ’s house , but the front door is still firmly closed . [I]2342-matt ’m shoved in the back again by [Baldy]137-big baldy . ‘[2342-matt] Please , give [me]2342-matt five minutes . ’ [I]2342-matt plead with the irate twat . If [Kate]2557-kate was here , [he]137-big baldy would be on [his]137-big baldy arse by now . ‘[2342-matt] Just move [the fucking shed]962-the fucking shed , [you]963-you dopey cow ! ’ [he]137-big baldy roars in [my]2557-kate face , making [me]2557-kate recoil . [I]2557-kate run onto [the pavement]2745-the pavement , stepping on every stray stone on [my]2557-kate way , and up the steps to [Mrs Link]136-mrs link ’s front door . ‘[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate ! ’ [I]2557-kate knock frantically , turning and smiling sweetly at [Mr Baldy Jag]138-mr baldy jag , earning [myself]2557-kate another torrent of abuse . [This guy]138-mr baldy jag needs anger management . ‘[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate ! ’ [I]2557-kate shout , banging again . Car horns are blaring all around , [I]2557-kate ’ve got the angriest man [I]2557-kate ’ve ever encountered hurling abuse at [me]2557-kate , [my]2557-kate arse is sore and [my]2557-kate feet are being stabbed by fucking stones ! ‘[2557-kate] [KATE]2557-kate ! ! ! ’ [My]2557-kate throat is bloody sore now too . But then [I]2557-kate have a thought . Has [she]2557-kate left the keys in [Margo]1052-margo ? [I]2557-kate gingerly run down the steps , back onto [the street]945-the street to check [Margo]1052-margo ’s ignition , going around the back to avoid baldy . It would seem that [he]138-mr baldy jag ’s not so willing to let [me]2557-kate evade [him]138-mr baldy jag , though , and [I]2557-kate collide with [his]138-mr baldy jag fat , sweaty body as [I]2557-kate reach [the driver]2706-the driver ’s door . ‘[2557-kate] Oh ! ’ [I]2557-kate cry , getting a waft of stale body odour . [He]138-mr baldy jag grabs the top of [my]2557-kate arm , squeezing hard . ‘[2557-kate] If [you]2557-kate do n’t move that fucking thing now , [I]2342-matt ’ll slap [your]2557-kate skinny arse all over [this street]945-the street . ’ [I]2342-matt lean back against [the van]600-the van as [he]138-mr baldy jag tightens [his]138-mr baldy jag hold on [my]2342-matt arm to a point , so painful , [I]2342-matt want to cry out . [He]138-mr baldy jag ’s [a fucking psycho]138-mr baldy jag ! [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to be bludgeoned on [a posh , leafy residential street in [posh Belgravia]32-belgravia]965-a posh , leafy residential street in posh belgravia and be plastered all over tomorrow morning ’s news . [I]2342-matt ’m never going to talk to [Kate]2557-kate again . [I]2342-matt feel [my]2342-matt eyes welling up with panicky tears as [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] pinned to the side of [Margo]1052-margo with not a clue what to do . This is [an aggressive type]966-an aggressive type – [a wife beater]967-a wife beater , for sure . ‘ Get [your]2764-your fucking hands off [her]2557-kate ! ’[967-a wife beater] The roar that pierces the air around [me]2342-matt , blocking out all car horns and [London]5-london traffic , makes [my]2342-matt knees buckle with relief . [I]2342-matt turn towards the direction of the most welcome voice [I]2342-matt ’ve ever heard and see [Jesse]327-jesse running down the middle of [the road]2482-the road , in [his]327-jesse suit , looking murderous . Oh , thank God ! [I]2342-matt do n’t know where [he]327-jesse ’s come from , and [I]2342-matt could n’t care less . The relief that washes over [me]2342-matt is overwhelming . [I]2342-matt ’ve never been so glad to see anyone in [my]2342-matt life , and the fact that it ’s [a man [I]2342-matt ’ve known barely a week]969-a man i ’ve known barely a week should be telling [me]2342-matt something . [Mr Baldy Jag]138-mr baldy jag ’s fat , ugly head snaps up in [Jesse]327-jesse ’s direction , a deep look of panic instantly invading [his]138-mr baldy jag sweaty features . [I]2342-matt feel [his]138-mr baldy jag grip ease up . Letting go of [me]2342-matt and stepping back from [Margo]1052-margo , [he]138-mr baldy jag starts weighing up the mountain of lean tallness that ’s running at full pelt towards [us]970-us . The intention to scarper is clear on [his]138-mr baldy jag ugly face . [He]138-mr baldy jag does n’t get the chance to , though . [Jesse]327-jesse charges [him]138-mr baldy jag before [he]138-mr baldy jag sets [his]138-mr baldy jag short legs to work , taking [him]138-mr baldy jag clean from [his]138-mr baldy jag feet and sending [him]138-mr baldy jag crashing to the tarmac . [[My]2342-matt God]2383-god ! [I]2342-matt was wrong . [Baldy]138-mr baldy jag is n’t [the angriest man [I]2342-matt ’ve ever seen]972-the angriest man i ’ve ever seen . [I]2342-matt watch as [Jesse]327-jesse ’s fist collides with [Baldies]139-baldies face before [he]138-mr baldy jag kicks [him]138-mr baldy jag in the gut , causing [him]138-mr baldy jag to cry out . ‘ Get off [your]327-jesse fat arse and apologise , ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse yanks [him]138-mr baldy jag up from [the road]2482-the road , presenting [him]138-mr baldy jag to [me]2342-matt . ‘ [Apologise]140-apologise ! ’[138-mr baldy jag] [he]138-mr baldy jag roars . [I]2342-matt look at [Baldy]138-mr baldy jag , who ’s huffing and puffing , [his]138-mr baldy jag nose clearly broken , blood dripping down [his]138-mr baldy jag slimy suit . [I]2342-matt would feel sorry for [him]138-mr baldy jag , if [he]138-mr baldy jag was n’t such [a nasty bastard]974-a nasty bastard . What sort of [man]678-man does that to [a woman]395-a woman ? ‘ [I]138-mr baldy jag … [I’m]138-mr baldy jag s … sorry . ’[138-mr baldy jag] [he]138-mr baldy jag stutters , looking completely dazed . [Jesse]327-jesse ’s fisted hand in Baldies jacket shakes [him]138-mr baldy jag . ‘ Lay a finger of [her]395-a woman again , [I]138-mr baldy jag ’ll rip [your]138-mr baldy jag fucking head off , ’[138-mr baldy jag] [His]138-mr baldy jag voice is menacing . ‘ Now , fuck off . ’[138-mr baldy jag] [He]138-mr baldy jag shoves the crumpled heap of a man out of [his]138-mr baldy jag hands and grabs [me]2342-matt , yanking [me]2342-matt into [his]138-mr baldy jag chest . [I]2342-matt fall apart . [I]2342-matt ’m a stupid blubbering wreck as [I]2342-matt sob all over [Jesse]327-jesse ’s expensive suit , while [he]327-jesse holds [me]2342-matt in [his]327-jesse hard , warm chest . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt should have finished [the bastard]138-mr baldy jag off , ’ [he]327-jesse grumbles . ‘[2342-matt] Hey , stop the tears , [I]2342-matt ’ll get crazy mad . ’ [He]327-jesse spreads [his]327-jesse palm over the back of [my]2342-matt head and sighs in [my]2342-matt hair . ‘[2342-matt] Where did [you]138-mr baldy jag come from ? ’ [I]138-mr baldy jag mumble into [his]327-jesse chest . [I]138-mr baldy jag do n’t care , [I]138-mr baldy jag ’m[138-mr baldy jag] just glad [he]138-mr baldy jag ’s here . ‘ [I]138-mr baldy jag was n’t far , and [you]138-mr baldy jag were n’t hard to find . It ’s anarchy back there . Where ’s [Kate]2557-kate ? ’[138-mr baldy jag] Yes , where is [Kate]2557-kate ? [Mayhem]141-mayhem has broken out and [she]2557-kate ’s still nowhere to be seen . [I]2342-matt ’m going to kill [her]2557-kate ! After [I]2342-matt ’ve had [my]2342-matt fix of [Jesse]327-jesse , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to kill [her]2557-kate . ‘ Hey , what ’s going on ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt emerge from [Jesse]327-jesse ’s chest and see [Kate]2557-kate stood at the front of [Margo]1052-margo , looking rather bewildered . ‘ [I]327-jesse think [you]327-jesse need to move [[your]327-jesse van]2765-your van , [Kate]2557-kate . ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse advises diplomatically . [He]327-jesse ’s not even broke a sweat . ‘ Oh , okay . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate shrugs , completely oblivious . [Jesse]327-jesse pulls back , running [his]327-jesse eyes down [my]2342-matt body . ‘ Where are [your]327-jesse shoes ? ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse asks on a frown , [his]327-jesse eyes darkening with rage again , clearly thinking [I]2342-matt lost [them]977-they in the ruckus with baldy . ‘ [They]977-they ’re[327-jesse] in the back of [Margo]1052-margo , ’ [I]327-jesse sniffle . ‘[327-jesse] [The van]600-the van , ’ [I]2342-matt elaborate , when [his]327-jesse brow knits in confusion . [He]327-jesse picks [me]2342-matt up and carries [me]2342-matt around to the pavement , sitting [me]2342-matt on a wall outside [[Mrs Link]136-mrs link ’s house]961-mrs link ’s house . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not even going to ask how [they]977-they got there . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2557-kate ’ll get them , ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate shouts . [She]2557-kate bloody should as well . [She]2557-kate comes running over with [my]2342-matt heels . ‘ What happened ? ’[2557-kate] ‘ Where were [you]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask shortly . [She]2557-kate rolls [her]2557-kate eyes . ‘ [I]2557-kate got dragged [upstairs]2469-upstairs for a showing of the party dress . It was way too small and pretty painful to watch . It took them ten minutes to stuff [her]2557-kate in the thing . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate glances over at [Jesse]327-jesse , who ’s grabbing [my]2342-matt bag from [the front seat of [Margo]1052-margo]979-the front seat of margo . ‘ What happened ? ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate asks again on a whisper . ‘ [He]327-jesse looks fuming . ’[2557-kate] ‘ [I]2342-matt got roughed up by [Mr Jaguar]135-mr jaguar , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt brush the gravel from the bottom of [my]2342-matt sore soles and put [my]2342-matt heels on . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse called as it kicked off . [I]2342-matt do n’t know where [he]327-jesse came from . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] sorry . ’ [She]2557-kate sits on the wall and puts an arm around [me]2557-kate . ‘[2557-kate] Thank God for [the Lord]349-the lord , ah ? ’ [I]2557-kate can detect the suggestion in [her]2557-kate tone . ‘[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate , [you]349-the lord need to shift [that van]981-that van before war breaks out . ’ [He]327-jesse strolls over with [my]2342-matt bag , and [I]2342-matt get to [my]2342-matt feet . Damn , [they]981-that van hurt . [I]2342-matt rest [my]2342-matt bum back down on the wall again . [I]2342-matt wince . Oh , [my]2342-matt arse hurts too . [Jesse]327-jesse frowns when [he]2342-matt catches [me]2342-matt flinching . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m taking [Ava]832-ava with [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt watches [me]2342-matt shift [my]2342-matt aching backside on the wall . ‘ [You]2342-matt are ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blurt . [He]2342-matt raises [his]2342-matt eyebrows . ‘ Yes , [I]2342-matt am , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt retorts in a tone that dares [me]2342-matt to object . ‘ It ’s fine . [I]2342-matt can go with [Kate]2557-kate . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt suggest , anyway . [I]2342-matt ’ve probably disrupted whatever [he]2342-matt was doing , with [my]2342-matt Monday evening drama . ‘ No , [you]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] coming with [me]2342-matt . ’ [He]2342-matt spells the words out , [his]2342-matt lips pressing into a straight line . Yeah , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not arguing with [him]2342-matt on this . [Kate]2557-kate does a tennis spectator impression , looking to and fro between [us]982-us , eventually getting up . ‘ [I]2557-kate ’ll see [you]2342-matt at [home]281-home . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate kisses [my]2342-matt temple and plants a big kiss on [Jesse]327-jesse ’s cheek , making [his]327-jesse eyes bulge and [my]2342-matt jaw drop . What ’s that all about ? As [she]2557-kate strolls off towards [Margo]1052-margo , with absolutely no urgency , [she]2557-kate looks back , grins and winks . [I]2342-matt flick a warning stare that [she]2557-kate completely ignores . [I]2342-matt look up at the tall , handsome beast in front of [me]2342-matt – looking edible in [his]2342-matt grey suit and crisp white shirt – and find sludgy green eyes narrowed on [me]2342-matt . ‘ Why are [you]2342-matt flinching ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks . [I]2342-matt stand up , wincing again when [my]2342-matt feet take [my]2342-matt full weight . ‘ [My]2342-matt backside hurts , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt rub [my]2342-matt battered bum and reach to take [my]2342-matt bag from [him]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt was holding [Kate]2557-kate ’s cake up in the back of [Margo]1052-margo . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]2557-kate did n’t have a seatbelt on ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ No , [you]2557-kate do n’t get seatbelts in the back of vans , [Jesse]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt shakes [his]2342-matt head and picks [me]2342-matt up , cradling [me]2342-matt in [his]2342-matt strong arms , before striding off down [the street]945-the street . [I]2342-matt sigh heavily and let [him]2342-matt do [his]2342-matt thing , resting [my]2342-matt head against [his]2342-matt shoulder and wrapping [my]2342-matt arms around [his]2342-matt neck . ‘ [You]2342-matt did n’t call [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt told [you]2342-matt to call . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt grumbles accusingly . [I]2342-matt sigh . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sorry . ’ ‘[2342-matt] So am [I.]2342-matt ’ [he]2342-matt says quietly . ‘[2342-matt] What are [you]2342-matt sorry for ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] For not being here sooner , ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt were n’t to know . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Well , if [you]2342-matt had of called , then [I]2342-matt would have of known [you]2342-matt planned on doing something so stupid . [I]2342-matt would have stopped [you]2342-matt . Do what [you]2342-matt ’re told next time . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt frown into [his]2342-matt shoulder and [he]2342-matt looks down at [me]2342-matt , as if sensing [my]2342-matt response to [his]2342-matt scold . [He]2342-matt grins , brushing [his]2342-matt lips on [my]2342-matt forehead . [My]2342-matt eyes close . [I]2342-matt ca n’t ignore it . There ’s definitely something here . And it ’s knocked the wind right out of [my]2342-matt singleton sails . When [we]984-we reach the end of [the street]945-the street , [I]2342-matt look up and see [Jesse ’s Aston Martin]2342-matt abandoned at an angle , from where [he]2342-matt clearly could n’t get through the traffic . [A few passersby]986-a few passersby are floating around , admiring [the deserted car]987-the deserted car . [He]2342-matt drops [me]2342-matt in the passenger seat and shuts the door before striding around to the front , sliding in behind the wheel and razzing off , leaving the chaos behind [us]984-we . [I]2342-matt sit happily admiring [his]2342-matt profile as [he]2342-matt dips and weaves through the traffic . [He]2342-matt ’s just dropped everything and come running to rescue [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’d be lying if [I]2342-matt said [his]2342-matt actions were unwelcome . [He]2342-matt glances over and places [his]2342-matt hand on [my]2342-matt knee . ‘ [You]2342-matt okay , [baby]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile . [I]2342-matt can feel [myself]2342-matt slipping more with every minute [I]2342-matt spend with [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m not sure if that ’s a good or a bad thing . Damn [you]2342-matt , [Jesse Ward]327-jesse , of an age [I]2342-matt do n’t know . [He]327-jesse pulls up outside [Kate]2557-kate ’s . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not surprised that [Margo]1052-margo ’s not arrived [home]281-home yet . [The man]2342-matt drives like a loon . [I]2342-matt let [myself]2342-matt out of [the car]548-the car , but [I]2342-matt ’m soon scooped up and carried up [the path]2482-the road to the front door . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt can walk . ’ [I]2342-matt complain , but [he]2342-matt ignores [me]2342-matt , taking [my]2342-matt keys from [my]2342-matt hand when [we]2770-we reach the door and opening it [himself]2342-matt before kicking it shut behind [us]2770-we . [I]2342-matt wriggle and [he]2342-matt places [me]2342-matt on [my]2342-matt feet , [his]2342-matt hand wrapping around [my]2342-matt waist , pulling [me]2342-matt into [him]990-his . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] lifted so [my]2342-matt feet leave the ground and [my]2342-matt lips meet [his]990-his . [I]2342-matt sigh , linking [my]2342-matt arms around [his]990-his neck , letting [his]990-his tongue roll around [my]2342-matt mouth slowly and calmly . [I]2342-matt ’m screwed if [I]2342-matt even think [I]2342-matt can resist [him]990-his . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] totally fucking screwed . ‘ Thank [you]991-you for the book . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say against [his]990-his lips . [He]990-his leans back , gazing at [me]2342-matt , [his]990-his green eyes twinkling with pleasure . ‘ [You]991-you ’re[990-his] more than welcome . ’ [He]990-his drops a chaste kiss on [my]990-his lips . ‘[990-his] Thank [you]991-you for saving [me]2342-matt . ’ [He]990-his smiles that cheeky , roguish smile . ‘[832-ava] Anytime , [baby]832-ava . ’ The front door flies open and [Kate]2557-kate bowls in , larger than life , clocking [us]2771-us in [our]2771-us embrace . ‘[832-ava] Sorry . ’ [she]2557-kate mouths , hastily retreating [upstairs]2469-upstairs to [the flat]420-the flat . [Jesse]327-jesse laughs lightly and rolls [his]327-jesse hips into [me]832-ava , unearthing a delightful drum deep in [my]832-ava stomach . [My]832-ava breath hitches as [his]327-jesse forehead meets [mine]832-ava . [He]327-jesse sighs long and hard , [his]327-jesse minty breath invading [my]832-ava nose . ‘[832-ava] If [we]993-we were alone , [you]832-ava would be against that wall and [I]2342-matt would be fucking [you]832-ava stupid . ’ [He]327-jesse rolls again , dragging a whimper from [me]2342-matt as the drumming moves into [my]2342-matt core . [I]2342-matt mentally curse [Kate]2557-kate to Hell . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt can be quiet , ’ [I]2342-matt whisper . ‘[2342-matt] Gag [me]2342-matt if [you]832-ava must . ’ [He]327-jesse smirks . ‘[2342-matt] Trust [me]2342-matt , [you]832-ava ’ll be screaming . No gag will stifle it . ’ [My]2342-matt body convulses . ‘[2342-matt] Now , tomorrow , ’ [he]327-jesse says assertively . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’d like to make an appointment . ’ Huh ? An appointment to fuck [me]2342-matt ? Hey , no appointment necessary ! [He]327-jesse must catch [my]2342-matt confusion because [he]327-jesse starts laughing . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt want [you]832-ava back at [The Manor]2356-the manor so [you]832-ava can take the details [you]832-ava really need to start working on some designs . ’ [My]2342-matt mouth forms an O and [he]327-jesse leans down , plunging [his]327-jesse tongue in , attacking [me]2342-matt with passion . [I]2342-matt let [him]327-jesse take [me]2342-matt with everything [he]327-jesse has , [my]2342-matt knees buckling when [he]327-jesse rolls those damn , delectable hips again . [He]327-jesse breaks away panting , [his]327-jesse eyes clenched shut . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t make appointments to fuck [you]832-ava , [Ava]832-ava . [I]2342-matt ’ll be doing that when [I]2342-matt please . ’ Oh , okay . [He]327-jesse seems to summon some sort of strength from somewhere before releasing [me]2342-matt , leaving [me]2342-matt to stand on [my]2342-matt own . [I]2342-matt feel abandoned and weak . [He]327-jesse removes [his]327-jesse hooded eyes from [mine]2342-matt and glances up [the stairs]272-the stairs , and [I]2342-matt know [he]327-jesse ’s cursing [Kate]2557-kate for being [home]281-home too . [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]327-jesse ’s just teased [me]2342-matt with a few delicious thrusts , and now [he]327-jesse ’s going . [I]2342-matt ’ve gone from playing it cool , to mentally begging for it . ‘[2342-matt] [The Manor]2356-the manor at noon . ’ [he]327-jesse states , reaching up and running [his]327-jesse finger down [my]2335-good girl cheek . [I]2335-good girl nod . ‘[2335-good girl] [Good girl]2335-good girl . ’ [He]327-jesse smiles , pushes [his]327-jesse lips against [my]2335-good girl forehead , turns and strides out . [I]2335-good girl sag against the wall , trying to catch [my]2335-good girl breath . ‘[2335-good girl] Hey , has [the Lord]349-the lord gone ? ’ [I]349-the lord look up to see [Kate]2557-kate hanging over the banister waving a bottle of wine . Oh , yes . That [I]349-the lord need . Chapter 15 The next morning , [I]349-the lord land in [the office]279-the office with an almighty crash – quite literally . [I]349-the lord ’m[349-the lord] sprawled across the wooden floor , surrounded by boxes , with [Tom]60-tom ’s running towards [me]2342-matt , horror plastered all over [his]60-tom baby face . ‘ Oh God . Are [you]349-the lord okay ? ’[60-tom] [He]60-tom reaches down to help [me]2342-matt up , brushing down [my]2342-matt black , fitted skirt before beginning on [my]2342-matt sleeveless blouse . ‘ [I]60-tom ’m[60-tom] so sorry . [I]2342-matt was just moving them into storage . ’ [He]60-tom flaps around [me]60-tom like [a mother hen]2777-a mother hen , babbling about health and safety and accident books . ‘[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom , [I]2342-matt ’m fine . Now , get [your]60-tom hands off [my]60-tom tits ! ’[60-tom] [He]60-tom quickly withdraws [his]60-tom flapping hands from [my]2342-matt breasts , giggling . ‘ Oh , and what lovely breasts they are , [Red Riding Hood]142-red riding hood ! ’[60-tom] ‘ If [you]60-tom were n’t gay , [I]2342-matt would have slapped [you]60-tom by now . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt warn [him]60-tom . ‘ Ah , but [I]60-tom am gay . ’[60-tom] [he]60-tom says proudly as [he]60-tom starts shifting boxes around . ‘ What ’s in the boxes ? ’[60-tom] ‘ Samples , [Sally]54-victoria took delivery of [them]2778-them . [You]60-tom would ’ve thought [she]54-victoria ’d have put them in the cupboard . [The girl]54-victoria ’s useless . ’[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom moans . [I]2342-matt scan [the office]279-the office and see [Sally]54-victoria fighting with the photocopier . [She]54-victoria really is in [a world of]999-a world of [her]54-victoria own . ‘ Morning , ’[54-victoria] [I]2342-matt hear [Victoria]54-victoria before [I]2342-matt see [her]54-victoria . ‘ [Tom]60-tom , [I]54-victoria ’m[54-victoria] never going out with [you]1000-i again . ’ [she]54-victoria hisses at [him]60-tom , perching [herself]54-victoria on [her]54-victoria chair . [I]54-victoria look to [each of [them]2779-each of them]2779-each of them in turn , waiting for an explanation , but it ’s not forthcoming from either of [them]2779-each of them . ‘[54-victoria] What ’s going on ? ’ [I]1000-i ask . [Tom]60-tom shrugs guiltily as [Victoria]54-victoria takes a long breath , ready to launch into an inch by inch account of [her]54-victoria grievance . ‘[1000-i] [He]1000-i dumped [me]2342-matt again ! ’ [She]54-victoria narrows [her]54-victoria eyes on [Tom]60-tom accusingly . [I]1000-i drop [my]1000-i bag by [my]1000-i desk and watch as [Victoria]54-victoria fires all sorts of accusations at a very guilty looking [Tom]60-tom . ‘[1000-i] Do n’t ask [me]2342-matt to come out with [you]2342-matt ever again , ’ [she]54-victoria spits , pointing [her]54-victoria pen at [him]1003-the same man . ‘[1000-i] Friday , [you]2342-matt cleared off with [the scientist]56-the scientist , and last night [you]2342-matt did n’t even have the decency to go [home]281-home with [the same man]1003-the same man ! ’ ‘[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom ! ’ [I]60-tom gasp sarcastically . ‘[60-tom] [I]2342-matt thought [the scientist]56-the scientist was [[your]2342-matt soul mate]56-the scientist ? ’ ‘[56-the scientist] [He]56-the scientist still might be , ’ [Tom]60-tom defends [himself]56-the scientist in a high pitched voice . ‘[56-the scientist] [I]2342-matt ’m just sampling what ’s on offer before [I]54-victoria decide on what to invest in . ’[54-victoria] [Victoria]54-victoria scoffs and swivels [her]54-victoria chair around , effectively blanking [him]56-the scientist out . [I]2342-matt sit gingerly , wincing as [my]2342-matt butt comes to rest on the soft , padded seat that feels more like iron . [I]2342-matt get [my]2342-matt phone from [my]2342-matt bag and find a text from [Kate]2557-kate . Left early , did n’t want to wake [u]1004-u in case [u]1004-u were dreaming of all things [Lord]1005-lord like ;-) Baroque at 1 ? Have to be back for 2:30 xxx Yes . And daydreams too . [I]2342-matt start to text back a big , resounding NO to [Kate]2557-kate ’s lunch offer – [I]2342-matt ’m seeing [a God]74-a god – but then freeze mid - type . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] supposed to be meeting [Matt]2342-matt for lunch . [I]2342-matt slump in [my]2342-matt chair . [My]2342-matt mind ’s all over [the place]308-the place at the moment , and [I]2342-matt ’m not going to try and kid [myself]2342-matt as to why that is . [I]2342-matt sit drumming [my]2342-matt nail on [my]2342-matt front tooth , trying to work out how [I]2342-matt can get around this . [My]2342-matt conclusion ? [I]2342-matt ca n’t , so [I]2342-matt text [Kate]2557-kate first . Sorry , busy busy busy . C u at [home]281-home . [Ax]143-ax [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sat twiddling [my]2342-matt hair as [I]2342-matt text a lie . [She]1007-she would go loopy if [she]1007-she knew [I]2342-matt had arranged to meet [Matt]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt recommence the drumming of [my]2342-matt tooth , struggling to decide which man [I]2342-matt ’m going to be letting down . [Matt]2342-matt sounded really low and said [he]2342-matt was n’t okay . [Jesse]327-jesse wants [me]2342-matt back at [The Manor]2356-the manor to commence design , with the possibility of [some added extras]2783-some added extras . [My]2342-matt thighs squeeze together at the prospect . [I]2342-matt pick [my]2342-matt phone up to call [Matt]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Hey , ’ [he]2342-matt greets [me]2342-matt , sounding happier than [I]2342-matt thought [he]2342-matt would . Probably not for long , though . ‘[2342-matt] Hey , listen , something ’s come up . Can [we]1008-i rearrange ? ’ [I]1008-i hold [my]1008-i breath , sinking [my]1008-i teeth into [my]1008-i bottom lip as [I]1008-i wait for [his]2342-matt response , and yes , [I]1008-i ’m[1008-i] twiddling [my]2342-matt hair . [I]2342-matt ’m not even really lying . Something has come up . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , please ! ’ [he]2342-matt begs . [I]832-ava drop [my]832-ava lock of hair immediately . The sure , arrogant [Matt]2342-matt ’s gone again , being replaced with [an uncertain , timid stranger]2784-an uncertain , timid stranger . ‘[832-ava] [I]2342-matt really need to see [you]832-ava . ’ [I]832-ava slump back in [my]832-ava chair , completely defeated . How can [I]832-ava not go when [he]2342-matt hits [me]832-ava with that ? There must be something seriously wrong . ‘[832-ava] Sure , ’ [I]2342-matt sigh . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll see [you]832-ava at [Baroque]130-baroque . ’ ‘[144-brill] [Brill]144-brill , see [you]832-ava then . ’ [His]144-brill self - assured tone has returned . [I]144-brill busy [myself]144-brill with emails and checking up on contractor progress . At the same time , [I]144-brill ’m[144-brill] thinking of all sorts of excuses [I]2342-matt can feed [Jesse]327-jesse . Thank God [I]2342-matt do n’t have to face [him]327-jesse , because with [me]2342-matt and [my]2342-matt twiddling fingers , [I]2342-matt ’d be rumbled instantly . [Patrick]327-jesse comes rolling in at eleven with [Starbucks]12-starbucks . [I]2342-matt could kiss [him]327-jesse . ‘ [Cappuccino]146-cappuccino , extra shot , no sugar or chocolate for [you]327-jesse , flower . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse clucks [my]2342-matt cheek , placing [my]2342-matt coffee on [my]2342-matt desk . ‘ Do n’t forget [your]327-jesse appointment with [Mikael]118-mikael tomorrow . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse perches on [my]2342-matt desk , and [I]2342-matt hold [my]2342-matt breath as it creaks . ‘ No , [I]2342-matt have n’t . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt push [my]2342-matt diary across [my]2342-matt desk for [Patrick]327-jesse to see the big , bold print . ‘ [Good girl]2335-good girl . How did [you]2335-good girl get on at [The Manor]2356-the manor ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blush instantly . [I]2342-matt did n’t tell [Patrick]327-jesse about [my]2342-matt second appointment , but [he]327-jesse only has to flick through [my]2342-matt diary to see – which [he]327-jesse obviously has . ‘ Fine , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt squeak , [my]2342-matt voice a few notes higher than [my]2342-matt normal tone , [my]2342-matt face burning up . [I]2342-matt will [him]327-jesse to accept [my]2342-matt one word , abrupt answer and leave [me]2342-matt alone . ‘ Jolly good . Keep [me]327-jesse posted . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse lifts [himself]327-jesse up from [my]2342-matt desk and goes about handing out the rest of the coffees . [I]2342-matt instinctively check underneath for splintered wood or loose screws , puffing [my]2342-matt cheeks out in relief for both [his]327-jesse lack of interrogation and for [my]2342-matt desk ’s wellbeing . With all of [my]2342-matt distractions , [I]2342-matt had n’t considered the possibility of [Patrick]327-jesse finding out about [my]2342-matt extracurricular activities with [Mr Ward]327-jesse . This could be tricky . [My]2342-matt phone alerts [me]2342-matt of a text . [I]2342-matt snatch it up quickly , finding a reply from [Kate]2557-kate . Get the wine xxx [I]2342-matt look at the clock on [my]2342-matt computer . Eleven fifteen . [I]2342-matt would be leaving for [my]2342-matt noon appointment with [Mr Ward]327-jesse about now . [I]2342-matt bite the bullet and pull [his]327-jesse number up , but instead of calling [him]327-jesse , [I]2342-matt ’m a complete shit bag and [I]2342-matt text [him]327-jesse . Something important has come up . [We]2787-we ’ll re - arrange . Ring u later Ax No sooner have [I]2342-matt placed [my]2342-matt phone back on [my]2342-matt desk and untangled [my]2342-matt finger from [my]2342-matt hair , the office door opens and a spray of calla lilies are carted in . It ’s [the delivery girl from [Lusso]66-lusso]2788-the delivery girl from lusso . [I]2342-matt see [Tom]60-tom point to [my]2342-matt desk , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] instantly flooded with guilt . [I]2342-matt re - slump in [my]2342-matt chair . [I]2342-matt ’ve just stood [him]327-jesse up and [he]327-jesse ’s sent [me]2342-matt flowers . Well , [I]2342-matt ’ve not technically stood [him]327-jesse up . [I]2342-matt ’m rearranging a business meeting . [He]327-jesse ’ll understand . [I]2342-matt accept the flowers , signing [the delivery girl]2544-the delivery girl ’s paperwork before finding the card . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] looking very forward to [my]2342-matt appointment . [You]1009-you should be too . [Jx]84-jx [I]2342-matt drop [my]2342-matt arms on the desk and bury [my]2342-matt head in them , feeling like a hundred tons of shit . [He]327-jesse went to all that trouble yesterday , pounding on [Mr Baldy Jag]138-mr baldy jag , rescuing [me]2342-matt from certain assault , and what do [I]2342-matt do ? [I]2342-matt ’m [a complete loser]2790-a complete loser and ditch [him]327-jesse for [[my]1010-a goner ex]462-good lord . [I]1010-a goner need help . [Good Lord]462-good lord , if [Kate]2557-kate finds out , [I]1010-a goner ’m[1010-a goner] [a goner]1010-a goner . [I]2342-matt need to tell [him]327-jesse to lay off on the flower deliveries to [[my]2342-matt office]1011-my office , though . It wo n’t be long before [Patrick]327-jesse starts asking questions . [I]2342-matt leave at twelve forty five to go and meet [Matt]2342-matt , after being even more of a shit bag and ignoring ten missed calls from [Jesse]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt ’ve made things worse for [myself]2342-matt , but [I]2342-matt gathered , after [I]2342-matt missed [his]327-jesse first call due to a genuine toilet break , [his]327-jesse second because [I]2342-matt was on [the landline]579-the landline and then it proceeded to persistently ring thereafter , that [he]327-jesse ’s not very happy . And now [I]2342-matt ’m also thoroughly fed up with one of [my]832-ava all - time favourite tracks . When [I]832-ava arrive , [the bar]361-the bar is busy , but [I]832-ava spot [Matt]2342-matt in the corner with drinks already on the table . [He]2342-matt jumps up when [he]2342-matt spots [me]832-ava , smiling brightly . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava ! ’ [He]2342-matt grabs [me]832-ava , squeezing [me]832-ava to [his]2342-matt chest , throwing [me]832-ava out completely . [He]2342-matt ’s never hugged [me]832-ava like this , even when [we]2793-we were together . [He]2342-matt pulls away and plants a kiss on [my]832-ava cheek , lingering longer than is necessary . ‘[832-ava] Thanks for coming . [I]2342-matt got [you]832-ava a wine , [your]832-ava favourite . Is that okay ? ’ ‘[832-ava] Sure , ’ [I]832-ava smile . A small one wo n’t hurt . [I]832-ava break away from [him]2342-matt and settle on a chair opposite . ‘[832-ava] Is everything okay ? ’ [I]832-ava ask nervously , [my]832-ava voice laced with all of the apprehension [I]832-ava really feel . ‘[832-ava] [You]832-ava look nice , ’ [he]2342-matt says cheerfully on a smile . ‘[832-ava] Did [you]832-ava want something to eat ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] No , [I]2342-matt ’m fine , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt frown at [him]2342-matt . ‘ [Matt]2342-matt , what have [you]832-ava got to tell [me]2342-matt ? [You]832-ava said [you]832-ava were n’t okay . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt ’s acting shifty and nervous , and it ’s making [me]2342-matt incredibly uncomfortable . [I]2342-matt take a sip of [my]2342-matt wine , watching [him]2342-matt over [my]2342-matt glass as [he]2342-matt fidgets and plays with the rim of [his]2342-matt pint . What ’s eating [him]2342-matt ? [He]2342-matt eventually draws a deep breath and leans across the table , placing [his]2342-matt hand over [mine]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt halt mid - sip , looking down at [his]2342-matt hand . Realisation hits . Oh , no ! [I]2342-matt widen [my]2342-matt eyes on [him]2342-matt and prey [he]2342-matt ’s going to tell [me]2342-matt that [Henry]147-henry , [the goldfish]1013-the goldfish , is dead . Please be that , instead of what [I]2342-matt think ’s coming . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt want [you]832-ava back . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says , firmly and concisely . Well , [I]2342-matt did n’t see that coming – not until about ten seconds ago . What the hell is wrong with [him]2342-matt ? [My]2342-matt glass is still hovering at [my]2342-matt lips as [he]2342-matt continues . ‘ [I]2342-matt was a total twat . [I]2342-matt do n’t deserve any second chances ... ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scoff . ‘ Second chance ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt drops [his]2342-matt head in defeat . ‘ Yeah , okay . [I]2342-matt take [your]2342-matt point . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt lifts [his]2342-matt head , [his]2342-matt face all genuine and soppy . ‘ It would never happen again , [I]2342-matt promise [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] Is [he]2342-matt having [me]2342-matt on ? How many times have [I]2342-matt heard the same old bullshit ? [He]2342-matt ’s [a serial cheater]1014-a serial cheater . ‘ [Matt]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sorry , but it ’s never going to happen . ’ [I]1015-i tell [him]2342-matt evenly and calmly . [His]2342-matt eyes widen with surprise . [I]1015-i shake [my]1015-i head lightly to re - affirm [my]1015-i statement . In the space of three seconds , [his]2342-matt face turns from all sorrowful and hurt , to black and suspicious . ‘[1015-i] It ’s [her]1015-i , is n’t it ? ’ [he]2342-matt spits across the table . It does n’t take [a rocket scientist]2794-a rocket scientist to figure out who [her]1015-i is . ‘[1015-i] [She]1015-i opens [her]1015-i fat trap and [you]1016-you listen . When are [you]1016-you going to start thinking for [yourself]1016-you ? ’ [I]1015-i ’m[1015-i] stunned . In actual fact , [Kate]2557-kate kept [her]2557-kate trap shut for four years . [She]2557-kate made it clear that [she]2557-kate did n’t like [Matt]2342-matt , but it never interfered with [our]1017-our friendship . [I]2342-matt just kept [them]1017-our apart . [She]2557-kate never tried to influence [me]2342-matt . [She]2557-kate was just there , like [a true friend]1018-a true friend , when things went tits up . And [they]1017-our did … often . [I]2342-matt pull [my]2342-matt hand from under [his]1018-a true friend and take another calming sip of [my]2342-matt wine . [He]1018-a true friend does n’t deserve [my]2342-matt time . [He]1018-a true friend ’s wasted four years of it already , and [I]2342-matt ’m damned if [he]1018-a true friend ’s robbing [me]2342-matt of any more . [I]2342-matt can not believe [I]2342-matt ’ve dropped [Jesse]327-jesse for this . ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]1019-you not going to say anything ? ’ [he]1018-a true friend hisses , [his]1018-a true friend eyes beady and harbouring all sorts of contempt . It makes [me]2342-matt boil a little on the inside . [I]2342-matt manage to retain [my]2342-matt temper . ‘[2342-matt] [Matt]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt ’ve said all [I]2342-matt ’ve got to say . Was that all [you]1019-you dragged [me]2342-matt [here]314-here for ? ’ [He]1018-a true friend recoils , [his]1018-a true friend eyebrows hitting [his]1018-a true friend hairline . ‘[1019-you] [You]1019-you ’re not prepared to give it another try ? ’[1019-you] ‘ No . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt reply simply . [I]2342-matt ’ve never made such an easy decision . [He]2342-matt jumps up from the table in a temper , knocking [his]2342-matt drink over in the process . ‘ [You]1019-you ’ll need [me]2342-matt before [I]2342-matt need [you]1019-you . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt laugh in [his]2342-matt face . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll need [you]1019-you ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt gather [my]2342-matt hysteria . ‘ Yeah , that ’s why [you]1019-you ’re[2342-matt] here begging [me]2342-matt to come back , and [I]2342-matt ’ve told [you]1019-you where to go . What ’s the matter , [Matt]2342-matt ? Ran out of birds to shag ? ’ [I]2342-matt watch as [he]2342-matt rearranges [his]2342-matt cheap , black suit and straightens [his]2342-matt brown , floppy hair . Funny , [I]2342-matt do n’t find [him]2342-matt attractive anymore . Actually , [he]2342-matt makes [my]2342-matt skin crawl . What did [I]2342-matt ever see in [him]2342-matt ? [He]2342-matt was a habit , that ’s all [he]2342-matt was – a very bad habit . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt knew it ! ’ [Kate]2557-kate ’s high pitched screech makes [my]2342-matt shoulders tense . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt knew [you]1019-you were seeing [him]1019-you ! ’ [I]2342-matt turn and see [her]2557-kate pretty , pale face is bright red with anger . ‘[2342-matt] Oh , [she]1021-she ’s come to join the party , ’ [Matt]2342-matt shoots over [my]1021-she head . ‘[1021-she] [You]1019-you just ca n’t keep [your]1019-you fucking nose out , can [you]1019-you ? ’ [I]1022-i glance around [the bar]361-the bar and notice that [people]372-people are starting to stare at the little exchange going on , [their]372-people attention drawn by [Matt]2342-matt ’s flying pint glass . If [I]1022-i get the opportunity , [I]1022-i ’ll save [Kate]2557-kate the wasted breath and tell [her]2557-kate exactly what just happened . But [I]1022-i suppose , after four years of keeping [her]2557-kate fat trap shut , [I]1022-i should let [her]2557-kate have [her]2557-kate moment . [She]2557-kate strolls up to [him]2342-matt , all confident and cocky , [Matt]2342-matt ’s lips curling into a snarl as [she]2557-kate gets up close and personal with [him]2342-matt . ‘[1022-i] [She]1022-i does n’t want [you]1023-you , [you]1023-you useless sack of shit . ’ [Her]1022-i tone is controlled and penetrating . ‘[1022-i] [She]1022-i ’s got [someone else]2416-someone else , so go and crawl back into the hole [you]1023-you came from . ’ Oh shit ! Why did [she]1022-i have to say that for ? [I]1022-i watch as [Matt]2342-matt flicks [his]2342-matt eyes to [me]1022-i for confirmation , but [I]1022-i do n’t offer any . [He]2342-matt hisses and spits a few times before stomping out of [the bar]361-the bar . [Kate]2557-kate plonks [herself]2557-kate in the chair opposite [me]1022-i , narrowing [her]2557-kate bright blue eyes on [me]1022-i . [I]1022-i ’m[1022-i] immediately on the defense . ‘ [He]2342-matt said [he]2342-matt was n’t okay . [I]1025-i thought [someone]587-someone had died ! ’[1025-i] [She]1025-i shakes [her]1025-i head . ‘ [I]1025-i ’m[1025-i] really mad with [you]1026-you . ’ [I]2342-matt scoff and grab [my]2342-matt wine for a welcome slurp . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m mad at [myself]1025-i . [I]1025-i did n’t need [you]1026-you to say that . Why did [you]1026-you say that ? ’[1025-i] [She]1025-i grins . ‘ Because it was funny . Did [you]1026-you see [his]2342-matt face ? ’[1025-i] Yes , it was a classic . But still , [she]1025-i ’s throwing around statements that are simply not true . [I]2342-matt have n’t got [anyone else]2416-someone else ; [I]2342-matt ’m fucking [someone else]2416-someone else . There ’s a big difference . [My]2342-matt phone starts ringing , and [I]2342-matt fish it from [my]2342-matt bag , finding call number eleven from [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] Who ’s that ? ’ [Kate]2557-kate asks , cocking [her]2557-kate head up so [she]2557-kate can get a glimpse of the screen . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse . ’ [She]2557-kate frowns . ‘[327-jesse] Are n’t [you]327-jesse going to answer ? ’ [I]2342-matt lean back in [my]2342-matt chair , letting it ring off . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt cancelled [him]327-jesse to meet [Matt]2342-matt . ’ [I]832-ava grumble . [Kate]2557-kate ’s jaw drops open . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [you]832-ava really are very dim at times . And do n’t take this personally , but when [you]832-ava were with [Matt]2342-matt , [you]832-ava dialed down the fun factor so much , [I]2342-matt was considering breaking up with [you]832-ava . ’ [I]2342-matt recoil at [her]2557-kate speech . ‘[2342-matt] That ’s a bit harsh , is n’t it ? ’ [She]2557-kate laughs . ‘[2342-matt] The truth hurts , does n’t it ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Yes , it does . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]832-ava ’ve been dragged through [the mill]1028-the mill good and proper , so [I]2342-matt ’m willing to let it go . ’[832-ava] [She]832-ava leans forward . ‘ Have some fun . And anyway , [I]832-ava like [him]2342-matt . ’[832-ava] Well , [she]832-ava made that pretty obvious , and [he]2342-matt is fun . But [I]2342-matt know this can only end in tears . [A member of staff]1029-a member of staff approaches with a dust pan and brush , and [I]2342-matt offer a small apologetic smile , but [I]2342-matt ’m distracted when [my]2342-matt phone starts to shout . [I]2342-matt ignore it … again . [I]2342-matt need time to think about this . [I]2342-matt was so overwhelmed yesterday , [I]2342-matt let a firm chest , hypnotising voice and soft lush lips derail [my]2342-matt cognitive thinking . Who am [I]2342-matt kidding ? Every time [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] with [this man]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt ’m derailed and distracted . [He]2342-matt overwhelms [me]2342-matt with [his]2342-matt intensity , knocking all rationality right out of [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Hello , hotty at three o’clock ! Oh , and [he]2342-matt ’s looking . How ’s [my]2342-matt hair ? Have [I]2342-matt got any icing on [my]2342-matt face ? ’ [Kate]2557-kate starts frantically brushing [her]2557-kate cheeks with [her]2557-kate palms . [I]1030-i turn to three o’clock and see the guy from [the bar at [The Manor]2356-the manor]2356-the manor . Which one was it ? [Drew]327-jesse ? No , [Sam]1914-sam . [He]1914-sam has a big smile on [his]1914-sam cheeky face as [he]1914-sam raises [his]1914-sam bottle of beer to [me]1030-i . [I]1030-i raise [my]1030-i hand and turn back to [Kate]2557-kate . ‘[1030-i] [You]1030-i know [him]1030-i ? ’ [she]2557-kate asks incredulously . ‘[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam , [he]1030-i was at [The Manor]310-whoever . [He]1030-i ’s [a friend of [Jesse]327-jesse ’s]1032-a friend of jesse ’s . ’ ‘[1030-i] Fucking hell ! [Jesse]327-jesse ’s [a member of [the hot gang]1033-the hot gang]1032-a friend of jesse ’s . ’ [She]2557-kate giggles , [her]2557-kate eyes widening with excitement . ‘[327-jesse] Why have [I]2342-matt never heard of [this place]310-whoever ? ’ [she]1034-she asks . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m coming to [your]2342-matt next site visit . ’[1034-she] [she]1034-she ’s says determinedly , and [I]2342-matt know [she]1034-she ’s not joking . ‘ Hey , [he]1032-a friend of jesse ’s ’s coming over . Introduce [me]1034-she , please ! ’[1034-she] [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head at [her]1034-she . It ’s one more first date for [her]1034-she to get [her]1034-she teeth into . Wait … [I]2342-matt suddenly panic . Did [he]1032-a friend of jesse ’s see [me]2342-matt with [Matt]2342-matt ? Hang on … why am [I]2342-matt worried about that ? ‘ Hi , [Ava]832-ava , how are [you]832-ava ? ’[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam reaches the table , still smiling and flashing that dimple . [He]1914-sam really is very cute , with [his]1914-sam unkempt hair and twinkling eyes . [He]1914-sam ’s in jeans and a t - shirt again . Casual must be [his]1914-sam thing . ‘ [I]1914-sam ’m[1914-sam] good , [Sam]1914-sam , [you]1914-sam ? ’ [I]1914-sam finish [my]1914-sam wine off . [I]1914-sam could do with another , but [Patrick]327-jesse wo n’t appreciate [me]1914-sam returning to [the office]279-the office half pissed . ‘[1914-sam] Been [here]314-here long ? ’ [I]1914-sam ask casually . ‘[1914-sam] No , just got here . How ’s [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’ [he]327-jesse enquires on a grin . Why would [he]327-jesse think [I]327-jesse know that ? Has [Jesse]327-jesse told [him]327-jesse ? [I]327-jesse feel [my]327-jesse face blush , even though [I]327-jesse ’ve reached the swift conclusion that [he]327-jesse ’s playing with [me]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse ’s [[Jesse]327-jesse ’s mate]327-jesse , [he]327-jesse should know how [he]327-jesse is . [I]327-jesse shrug , because [I]327-jesse really do n’t know what to say . And , in actual fact , [I]327-jesse have no idea how [Jesse]327-jesse is because [I]327-jesse did n’t turn up for [our]2801-our appointment . When [I]327-jesse left [him]327-jesse yesterday , [he]327-jesse was firing on all sexual cylinders , and [I]327-jesse was panting like [a desperate , wanton loser]2802-a desperate , wanton loser . Now , [I]327-jesse expect , [he]327-jesse ’s slightly irate that [I]327-jesse ’ve cancelled [our]2801-our meeting . [Ha]65-ha ! What ’s [he]327-jesse going to do ? Sack [me]327-jesse ? [He]327-jesse probably should . It will save [me]327-jesse all of this brain ache and turmoil . [I]327-jesse feel a sharp crack on [my]327-jesse shin and look up to see [Kate]2557-kate scowling at [me]327-jesse . ‘[327-jesse] Oh , [Sam]1914-sam , this is [Kate]2557-kate . [Kate]2557-kate , meet [Sam]1914-sam . ’ [I]2557-kate wave [my]2557-kate hand between [the two of [them]2803-the two of them]2803-the two of them , watching as [Kate]2557-kate turns all angelic , putting [her]2557-kate hand out to [Sam]1914-sam , who grins before clasping it . ‘[2557-kate] Nice to meet [you]1914-sam , [Kate]2557-kate . ’ [he]1914-sam says smoothly , maintaining [his]1914-sam grin and running [his]1914-sam free hand through [his]1914-sam mousey waves . ‘[1914-sam] [You]1914-sam too . ’ [She]2557-kate arches a brow . [She]2557-kate ’s a brazen hussy ! [She]2557-kate ’s flirting with [him]1914-sam . [She]2557-kate giggles as [Sam]1914-sam compliments [her]2557-kate on [her]2557-kate wild , red hair , [their]2804-their hands still linked . [My]65-ha phone declares a text . To escape the blatant flirting exchange going on in front of [me]65-ha , [I]65-ha pick it up and open the message with one eye closed . There better be a GOOD fucking reason for [you]1914-sam standing [me]65-ha up . [Someone]587-someone had better be dying . [I]65-ha ’m[65-ha] going out of [my]2342-matt fucking mind , [lady]65-ha . NO KISS Ah , [he]1037-he ’s worried ! [My]2342-matt heart does an unexpected skip of approval , but then [I]2342-matt snap [myself]2342-matt out of [my]2342-matt pathetic bubble of contentment , reminding [myself]2342-matt that [I]2342-matt ’m not answerable to [him]1037-he . [He]1037-he certainly likes compliance . Besides , [I]327-jesse did n’t stand [him]1037-he up ; [I]327-jesse delayed a business meeting . [My]327-jesse poor bloody brain feels like it could explode . What ’s happening to [me]327-jesse ? [I]327-jesse put [my]327-jesse phone on the table and look up to see [Kate]2557-kate performing the best flirting act [I]327-jesse ’ve ever witnessed . [She]2557-kate ’s such a tart , and [their]2806-their hands are still clasped . [She]2557-kate drags [her]2557-kate attention away from [Sam]1914-sam to look at [me]327-jesse . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’ [she]2557-kate asks unashamedly . [I]327-jesse kick [her]2557-kate under the table , feeling [Sam]1914-sam ’s eyes on [me]327-jesse . [I]327-jesse ’ll kill [her]2557-kate . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’ [Sam]1914-sam asks . ‘[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse just called . [He]327-jesse ’ll be here in a minute . ’ What ? [Kate]2557-kate starts laughing like a hyena , earning [her]2557-kate another boot under the table . Did [Sam]1914-sam tell [him]327-jesse [I]327-jesse was here ? ‘[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt ’d better be off , ’ [I]2557-kate go to stand . ‘[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate , ’ [I]2557-kate smile sweetly as [she]2557-kate gets [her]2557-kate laughter under control . ‘[2557-kate] Have n’t [you]2557-kate got a two thirty appointment ? ’ ‘[2557-kate] Nope . ’ [She]2557-kate smiles back , trumping [my]2557-kate sweetness level . [She]2557-kate ’s a pain in the fucking arse . [I]2557-kate narrow [my]2557-kate eyes on [her]2557-kate , picking up [my]2557-kate bag and phone . ‘[2557-kate] Well , [I]2342-matt ’ll see [you]2557-kate later then . It was nice to see [you]2557-kate again , [Sam]1914-sam . ’ [He]1914-sam releases [Kate]2557-kate ’s hand and kisses [me]1914-sam on the cheek . ‘[1914-sam] Yeah , and [you]2557-kate , [Ava]832-ava . Keep it real . ’ [I]2557-kate turn to leave , but swing back around , all straight faced and cool . ‘[2557-kate] Oh , [Kate]2557-kate . [Dan]93-dan ’s back next week . ’ [I]93-dan toss it into the air like a grenade and wait for the explosion . It takes just a nanosecond for [her]2557-kate jaw to drop , like a huge lump of lead , to the table . [Ha]65-ha ! [I]93-dan fling [her]2557-kate a don’t - mess - with - [me]93-dan look and turn on [my]93-dan heels with immense satisfaction . [My]93-dan smugness is short lived , though . [Jesse]327-jesse is stood behind [me]93-dan , glaring at [me]93-dan like a rabid dog . [I]93-dan shrink on the spot ‘[93-dan] Who ’s dead ? ’ [he]327-jesse barks . [He]327-jesse ’s really mad . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt was at work . ’ [I]2342-matt defend [myself]2342-matt nervously . [He]327-jesse scowls at [me]2342-matt , good and proper . ‘[2342-matt] And that renders [you]1038-you incapable of answering [your]1038-you phone , does it ? ’ [His]327-jesse voice is dripping with displeasure . Oh yes , [me]2342-matt not answering [his]327-jesse calls might be a contributing factor to [his]327-jesse annoyance . [I]2342-matt turn and find [Kate]2557-kate and [Sam]1914-sam silently observing [our]2807-our little altercation . [Kate]2557-kate starts looking anywhere and everywhere but [our]2807-our direction , and [Sam]1914-sam struggles to regain control of [his]1914-sam raised eyebrows , doing a really rubbish job of looking uninterested . [I]2342-matt sigh , turning back to [Jesse]327-jesse , who still looks like [he]327-jesse ’s about to hit something . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt have to get back to work . ’ [I]2342-matt say , sidestepping [him]327-jesse and leaving [the bar]361-the bar . This is beyond an over - reaction and dangerously in the realms of controlling and manipulating . Neither of which [I]2342-matt want . [I]2342-matt walk out onto [Piccadilly]35-piccadilly and into [the lunchtime crowd]2809-the crowd . [I]2342-matt know [he]327-jesse ’s following [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt can feel [his]327-jesse penetrating green eyes stabbing at [my]2342-matt back . As [I]2342-matt turn into [Berkeley Street]36-berkeley street , [the crowd]2809-the crowd thins out , and [I]2342-matt glance back , finding [him]327-jesse stalking behind [me]2342-matt , [his]327-jesse eyes full of fury . [He]327-jesse does look delicious in [his]327-jesse charcoal suit and pale blue shirt , though . [I]2342-matt huff to [myself]2342-matt and increase [my]2342-matt pace . If [I]2342-matt can make it to [[my]2342-matt office]1011-my office , [I]2342-matt ’ll be safe from [his]327-jesse wrath . There ’s no way [he]327-jesse would cause a scene at [[my]2342-matt office]1011-my office , would [he]327-jesse ? [He]327-jesse did n’t seem to give two hoots about scolding [me]2342-matt in front of [Kate]2557-kate and [Sam]1914-sam . Can [I]2342-matt risk it ? [The man]327-jesse ’s so volatile . Why is [he]327-jesse behaving like this , anyway ? [I]2342-matt ’ve only had sex with [the guy]327-jesse , not married [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt quicken [my]2342-matt pace , making it through the office door , but no sooner have [I]2342-matt got to [my]2342-matt desk , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] hauled from [my]2342-matt feet on a squeal , and [I]2342-matt ’m on [my]2342-matt way back out . ‘[2342-matt] What the bloody hell are [you]1039-you doing ? ’ [I]327-jesse shout at [him]327-jesse , but [he]327-jesse ignores [me]327-jesse , carrying on with [his]327-jesse long , even strides out of [[my]327-jesse office]279-the office . [I]327-jesse brace [my]327-jesse hands at the bottom of [his]327-jesse back and look up to see [Tom]60-tom , [Victoria]54-victoria and [Sally]54-victoria , all gawping at [me]327-jesse being manhandled into [the street]945-the street . Oh God , please let [Patrick]327-jesse be out of [the office]279-the office . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , fucking hell ! Put [me]2342-matt down now ! ’ [He]327-jesse lets [me]327-jesse slide down [his]327-jesse front – purposely slow so [I]327-jesse feel every hard muscle of [his]327-jesse delicious chest – stopping [me]327-jesse before [my]327-jesse feet hit the ground . [He]327-jesse holds [me]327-jesse around [my]327-jesse waist so [my]327-jesse lips are level with [his]327-jesse , [his]327-jesse blatant erection rubbing [me]327-jesse in just the right spot . [He]327-jesse ’s mad and turned on ? A treacherous moan escapes [my]327-jesse lips as [he]327-jesse pushes [himself]327-jesse against [me]327-jesse , breathing [his]327-jesse hot , minty breath on [my]327-jesse lips . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] supposed to be bloody mad here . Instead , [I]2342-matt ’m being held against [my]2342-matt will – kind of – and wanting to strip [my]2342-matt captor in front of all of [[my]2342-matt colleagues]437-my colleagues , who are all squashed at [the office]279-the office door , fighting for the best view . ‘[2342-matt] Mouth . [You]1040-you stood [me]2342-matt up . ’ [He]327-jesse presses [his]327-jesse lips to [mine]2342-matt before [he]327-jesse pulls away , [his]327-jesse sludgy eyes softening as [he]327-jesse looks at [me]2342-matt expectantly . [I]2342-matt can hardly tell [him]327-jesse why [I]2342-matt cancelled now . [I]2342-matt imagine [he]1041-he ’ll go up the wall . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sorry . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt sigh . Will [he]1041-he accept that ? [I]2342-matt need to get back into [the office]279-the office and sort [my]2342-matt head out . No , [I]2342-matt need to go [home]281-home and sort [my]2342-matt head out , preferably with a bottle of wine . [He]1041-he shakes [his]1041-he head mildly , and then [he]1041-he attacks [my]2342-matt mouth purposely , right in the middle of [Bruton Street]2-bruton street . [My]2342-matt fingers thread through [his]1041-he hair as [I]2342-matt surrender to [his]1041-he impossibly addictive mouth , without much thought at all . [He]1041-he ’s unashamed and oblivious to the hustle and bustle of lunch time pedestrians passing and , quite probably , staring as [he]1041-he completely consumes [me]2342-matt . [He]1041-he swallows [me]2342-matt up every time . [He]1041-he thrusts [his]1041-he groin forward aggressively , coaxing a moan to escape [my]2342-matt mouth . This is a look - what - [you]1044-you - missed kiss , and [I]2342-matt ’m beginning to damn [Matt]2342-matt to Hell . ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t do it again . ’ [he]1041-he orders , in a tone that dares [me]2342-matt to challenge [him]1041-he . [He]1041-he releases [me]2342-matt from [his]1041-he grip and [my]2342-matt feet hit the ground , the loss of support causing [me]2342-matt to stagger forward . [He]1041-he grabs the top of [my]2342-matt arm to steady [me]2342-matt , causing a slight stab of pain to radiate through [me]2342-matt , snapping [me]2342-matt out of [my]2342-matt spellbound state on a sharp inhale . [He]1041-he drops [my]2342-matt arm and stands back from [me]2342-matt , [his]1041-he soft eyes raging and focused on the scatter of bruises at the top of [my]2342-matt arm , courtesy of [Mr Baldy Jag]138-mr baldy jag . [His]1041-he jaw starts ticking , [his]1041-he chest puffing , as [he]1041-he stares at [my]2342-matt arm . All [I]2342-matt can think about is how lucky [Mr Baldy Jag]138-mr baldy jag is that these bruises were n’t present yesterday . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m fine , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt cover [my]2342-matt arm with [my]2342-matt palm in the hope that concealing the offending area might snap [him]2342-matt out of [his]2342-matt fuming state . [He]2342-matt looks positively homicidal . Is [he]2342-matt mad because [I]2342-matt have a few bruises ? ‘ [I]2342-matt need to get back to work . ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt voice is small , nervous even . [He]2342-matt drags [his]2342-matt stare from [my]2342-matt arm , back to [my]2342-matt eyes , looking at [me]2342-matt like [I]2342-matt ’m the offending object . A flash of irritation passes over [his]2342-matt handsome face as [he]2342-matt reaches up to rub [his]2342-matt temples with [his]2342-matt fingertips . It ’s an obvious sigh of stress . [He]2342-matt eventually shakes [his]2342-matt head lightly and stalks off , without another word , leaving [me]2342-matt standing on [the pavement]2745-the pavement wondering what in [the world]516-the world just happened . [I]2342-matt look down to the ground , [my]2342-matt eyes darting about , like [I]2342-matt might find the answer written in chalk on the slabs . Is that it ? Is it over ? The look on [his]2342-matt face said it is . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not sure how [I]2342-matt feel about that . One second [he]2342-matt ’s thrusting [his]2342-matt hips into [me]2342-matt on a moan , the next [he]2342-matt ’s looking at [me]2342-matt in pure irritation . What am [I]2342-matt supposed to make of this ? [I]2342-matt really do n’t know . [I]2342-matt shake [myself]2342-matt out of [my]2342-matt reverie and head back into [the office]279-the office . The silence is awkward , [everyone obviously pretending to look busy]1046-everyone obviously pretending to look busy . ‘ [You]1046-everyone obviously pretending to look busy okay ? ’[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom asks , slowly passing [my]2342-matt desk . [I]2342-matt look up , seeing [his]60-tom usual nosey expression is dotted with concern . ‘ [I]60-tom ’m[60-tom] fine . Not a word to [Patrick]327-jesse . ’ It comes out harsher than [I]2342-matt intended . ‘[2342-matt] Of course , [I]2342-matt ’ll say no more . ’ [He]60-tom holds [his]60-tom hands up in defense . Fuck ! All [I]2342-matt need is [Patrick]327-jesse to find out that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] caught up with [a client]2741-a client . [I]2342-matt should have been stronger and resisted [his]2741-a client advances . [I]2342-matt ’m really not very comfortable with how [I]1048-i feel right now . [I]1048-i think … [I]1048-i think it ’s somewhere in the realms of … abandonment ? Chapter 16 [I]1048-i practically crawl through the front door in an exhausted heap . [I]1048-i find [Kate]2557-kate in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , hanging out of the window having a cheeky fag . ‘[1048-i] [You]1048-i need to pack that in . ’ [I]2342-matt scorn [her]2557-kate . [She]2557-kate does n’t smoke much , just a couple here and there , but it ’s a bad habit , nevertheless . [She]2557-kate takes a last drag and throws it out of the window before hastily climbing down from [the worktop]2614-the worktop . ‘[2342-matt] It helps [me]2342-matt think . ’ [She]2557-kate defends [herself]2557-kate . Yes , [she]2557-kate claims this whenever [I]1049-she catch [her]2557-kate having a sneaky puff . Now , [I]1049-she ’m[1049-she] supposed to ask what [she]1049-she ’s thinking about , but [I]2342-matt already know the answer to that question . ‘ Where ’s the wine ? ’[1049-she] [She]1049-she grabs [my]2342-matt bag from [me]2342-matt , pulling it open , before looking at [me]2342-matt in disgust . [I]2342-matt ’ve just committed a cardinal sin – [I]2342-matt forgot the wine . [I]2342-matt shrug . [I]2342-matt ’ve had other things on [my]2342-matt mind . ‘ Sorry . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]1049-she ’ll go to [the shop]2819-the shop , [you]1049-she get changed . [Fish]148-fish and chips ? ’[1049-she] [She]1049-she grabs [her]1049-she purse from the table as [she]1049-she shoves [her]1049-she feet in [her]1049-she flip flops . ‘ Just chips . ’[1049-she] [I]2342-matt make [my]2342-matt way down [the hall]2496-the hall to [[my]2342-matt bedroom]2495-my bedroom . [I]2342-matt feel completely deflated . [I]2342-matt sit with [Kate]2557-kate on the couch , picking at the chips on [my]2342-matt plate . [I]2342-matt have absolutely no appetite , and [I]2342-matt ’m only half watching the re - run of [Friends]2512-friends . [My]2342-matt mind is all over [the place]308-the place , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] so furious with [myself]2342-matt for letting it be . ‘ Come on then , spit it out . ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate demands . [I]2342-matt turn to face [[my]2342-matt fiery friend]1052-margo with a chip half way to [my]2342-matt mouth . [I]2342-matt was an idiot if [I]2342-matt thought [I]2342-matt could get away with mooding in peace . [I]2342-matt give [her]2557-kate a non - committal shrug , popping the chip in [my]2342-matt mouth and chewing lazily . Talking about it will only emphasise the fact that [I]2342-matt am actually mooding over it – “ it ” being [a man]340-a man . ‘ [You]340-a man like [him]340-a man . ’[340-a man] Yes , [I]2342-matt do . [I]2342-matt do n’t want to , but [I]2342-matt do . ‘ [He]340-a man ’s bad news . [You]340-a man saw [him]340-a man today . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt grumble . [She]2557-kate makes a dramatic display of rolling [her]2557-kate eyes and throwing [herself]2557-kate back on the sofa . ‘ [You]340-a man stood [him]340-a man up for [[your]340-a man ex - boyfriend]2822-your ex - boyfriend , ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate puts [her]2557-kate plate on the coffee table in front of the sofa . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , what did [you]832-ava expect ? ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt frown at [her]2557-kate . ‘ [He]340-a man did n’t know why [I]2342-matt stood [him]340-a man up . As far as [he]340-a man ’s concerned , [I]2342-matt just stood [him]340-a man up . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Well , [he]340-a man does n’t like being stood up then , does [he]340-a man ? [She]2557-kate laughs . ‘[2342-matt] Oh , by the way , [I]2342-matt ’m seething with [you]832-ava . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate turns all serious . What have [I]2342-matt done ? Oh , yes . [She]2557-kate must be talking about [my]2342-matt little Dan grenade . ‘ Would [you]832-ava have preferred it if [I]2557-kate had n’t of told [you]832-ava ? ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt ask . ‘ [You]832-ava ’ve not left [me]2557-kate much time to leave [town]2823-town ! ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate wails at [me]2342-matt . Oh , the drama ! ‘ [You]832-ava ’re[2557-kate] overreacting . [You]1054-he do n’t have to see [him]1054-he . ’ ‘[2342-matt] No , [I]2342-matt do n’t . And [I]2342-matt wo n’t ! ’ ‘[2342-matt] That ’s okay then , is n’t it ? ’ [I]1914-sam go for subject change . ‘[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam ? ’ [I]1054-he raise [my]1054-he eyebrows . ‘[1054-he] Is n’t [he]1054-he yummy ? [Jesse]327-jesse came back to [the bar]361-the bar – with a face like thunder , by the way – so [I]2342-matt left [them]361-the bar to it . [He]1054-he took [my]2342-matt number . ’ ‘[1914-sam] [You]1914-sam ’re a tart [Kate Matthews]2557-kate ! ’[1914-sam] ‘ [I]1056-she know ! ’[1056-she] [she]1056-she shrieks . ‘ How were things left with [the Lord]2557-kate ? ’[1056-she] [She]1056-she looks at [me]2342-matt carefully , weighing up [my]2342-matt reaction to [her]1056-she question . ‘ [He]1054-he was still mad , [he]1054-he stormed off . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shrug . [She]1056-she smiles . ‘ [He]1054-he ’s pretty intense . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt start laughing . ‘ Pretty ? [I]1054-he lose all cognitive thought when [I]1054-he ’m[1054-he] around [him]1054-he . When [he]1054-he touches [me]2342-matt , it ’s like [I]2342-matt hand over all control of [my]2342-matt mind and body to [him]1054-he . It ’s frightening . ’ ‘[1054-he] Wow . ’ ‘[1054-he] Yes , it ’s pretty wow . ’ [She]1056-she turns back to the television . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt like [him]1054-he , ’ [she]1056-she says quietly , almost like [she]1056-she ’s afraid to admit it , like it ’s wrong to like [him]1054-he . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m just saying . ’[1056-she] [She]1056-she shrugs but does n’t look at [me]2342-matt . ‘ [He]1054-he ’s rich , steaming hot and obviously well into [you]2342-matt . [A man]340-a man does n’t behave like that when [he]1054-he ’s just fucking about , [Ava]832-ava . ’[1056-she] Well , that may be so , but it does n’t change the fact that [he]1054-he ’s cleared off and [my]2342-matt phone has n’t rang since . It ’s probably a good thing . ‘ Do [you]2342-matt fancy a proper night out on Saturday ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . It ’s a stupid question that [I]2342-matt already know the answer to . The look [she]1056-she fires [me]2342-matt is mischievous . [I]2342-matt grin back at [her]1056-she . The next day , [I]2342-matt breeze into [the Royal Park hotel]1057-the royal park hotel at twelve fifteen , all set for [my]2342-matt appointment with [Mikael Van Der Haus]118-mikael . [I]2342-matt ’m directed into a snug sitting area with plush sofas . Gilded frames swamp the walls and a carved fire place dominates [the room]2350-the room . It ’s typically regal . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] offered tea which [I]2342-matt decline in favour of water . It ’s bloody hot , and [my]2342-matt black pencil dress is clinging to [me]2342-matt . Twenty minutes later , [Mr Van Der Haus]117-mr van der haus enters looking impeccable . [He]117-mr van der haus ’s really very handsome . [He]117-mr van der haus smiles brightly at [me]2342-matt , revealing a perfect row of white teeth . What is it with [me]2342-matt and [older men]1058-older men at the moment ? [I]2342-matt hastily bat away [my]2342-matt wayward thoughts . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , please accept [my]2342-matt apologies . [I]2342-matt never like to keep [a lady]2826-a lady waiting . ’[2342-matt] [His]117-mr van der haus mild Danish accent is only just detectable but really sexy . Stop ! [I]2342-matt rise from [my]2342-matt seat as [he]117-mr van der haus approaches , putting [my]2342-matt hand out to [him]117-mr van der haus with a smile . [He]117-mr van der haus takes [my]2342-matt hand , but shocks [me]2342-matt when [he]117-mr van der haus leans forward and kisses [me]2342-matt on the cheek . Okay , that ’s slightly inappropriate , but [I]2342-matt ’ll go with it . Maybe it ’s a Danish thing . [Ha]65-ha ! [I]2342-matt would do well to remember what happened that last time [a male client]1059-a male client kissed [me]2342-matt on a first meeting . ‘ [Mr Van Der Haus]117-mr van der haus , it ’s not a problem . [I]2342-matt ’ve not long arrived [myself]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt reassure [him]117-mr van der haus . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , this is [our]2827-our second project together . [I]117-mr van der haus know [you]117-mr van der haus dealt with [[my]117-mr van der haus partner]761-my partner on [Lusso]66-lusso , but [I]117-mr van der haus will be involved in [The Life Building]2829-the life building a lot more , so please , call [me]117-mr van der haus [Mikael]118-mikael . [I]117-mr van der haus hate formality . ’[117-mr van der haus] [He]117-mr van der haus takes a seat in the chair opposite [me]2342-matt , crossing [his]117-mr van der haus long legs . ‘ So , [I]117-mr van der haus ’m[117-mr van der haus] looking forward to going through ideas with [you]1060-you soon . ’ Huh ? Is n’t that why [I]117-mr van der haus ’m[117-mr van der haus] here now ? ‘ Yes , [I]117-mr van der haus have n’t really had the opportunity to research the development yet . [I]117-mr van der haus was hoping [you]1060-you would give [me]117-mr van der haus a brief and a week to get some ideas rolling . ’[117-mr van der haus] ‘ Of course ! ’[117-mr van der haus] [he]117-mr van der haus laughs . ‘ [I]117-mr van der haus ’m[117-mr van der haus] being very rude dragging [you]1060-you [here]314-here at such short notice , but [I]2342-matt ’m flying back to [Denmark]37-denmark on Friday . [I]117-mr van der haus have [your]1060-you email . [I]117-mr van der haus shall send [you]1060-you the specific requirements . [You]1060-you did such a good job at [Lusso]66-lusso . It really does lighten the pressure when [you]1060-you work with [proficient people]2830-proficient people . ’[117-mr van der haus] [He]117-mr van der haus smiles . Is n’t [he]117-mr van der haus going to give [me]2342-matt the specifics now ? That ’s why [I]2342-matt ’m here , is n’t it ? ‘[2342-matt] [We]1062-we could have a quick chat now . ’ [I]832-ava prompt . [He]117-mr van der haus sits for a while , regarding [me]832-ava quietly , before leaning forward in [his]117-mr van der haus chair . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt hope [you]832-ava do n’t think [I]2342-matt ’m being audacious , [you]832-ava see … well , how can [I]117-mr van der haus put it ? ’[117-mr van der haus] [He]117-mr van der haus drums [his]117-mr van der haus fingers on [his]117-mr van der haus chin . [I]2342-matt ’m a little worried . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m afraid [I]117-mr van der haus ’ve brought [you]832-ava here under false pretenses . ’[117-mr van der haus] [He]117-mr van der haus laughs nervously , shifting in [his]117-mr van der haus chair . ‘ Oh , how so ? ’[117-mr van der haus] [I]2342-matt ask baffled . And then it hits [me]2342-matt . Oh , no ! Oh , no , no , no ! [I]2342-matt lean back in [my]2342-matt chair , instantly tensing from top to toe , and mentally beg [the Lord Almighty]149-the lord almighty to talk some sense into [him]149-the lord almighty before [he]149-the lord almighty says what [I]2342-matt think [he]149-the lord almighty ’s going to say . ‘ [I]149-the lord almighty would like to ask [you]832-ava to join [me]149-the lord almighty for dinner . ’[149-the lord almighty] [He]149-the lord almighty looks at [me]2342-matt expectantly , and [I]2342-matt ’m sure [my]2342-matt face must resemble that of complete horror . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] burning up . ‘ Tomorrow evening , if it ’s convenient with [you]832-ava , of course . ’[149-the lord almighty] [he]149-the lord almighty adds . Shit ! What do [I]2342-matt say ? If [I]2342-matt say no , [he]149-the lord almighty might withdraw [his]149-the lord almighty business from [Rococo Union]8-rococo union , and [Patrick]327-jesse will go spare . What is it with [men]2420-men suddenly falling at [my]2342-matt feet ? [Older men]1058-older men in particular ? [He]149-the lord almighty ’s way past [Jesse]327-jesse in terms of age . At least , [I]2342-matt think [he]149-the lord almighty is . [He]149-the lord almighty ’s very good looking , but good [God]68-god , [he]149-the lord almighty ’s got to be twenty years older than [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt inwardly laugh . At least [he]149-the lord almighty has n’t got [me]2342-matt locked in [a suite]1065-a suite [upstairs]2469-upstairs . How do [I]2342-matt play this ? ‘ [Mr Van Der Haus]117-mr van der haus … ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Mikael]118-mikael , please . ’[149-the lord almighty] [he]149-the lord almighty interrupts [me]2342-matt with a smile . ‘ [Mikael]118-mikael , [I]149-the lord almighty ’m[149-the lord almighty] not sure mixing business with pleasure is a good idea . It ’s kind of a rule for [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m very flattered . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt laugh at [my]2342-matt own audacity . Since when has that been an issue of late ? And why did [I]2342-matt say pleasure ? [I]2342-matt ’ve assumed , and suggested , that it would be pleasurable to have dinner with [him]149-the lord almighty . It might not be , or it very well could be . Oh God ! [I]2342-matt mentally throw [myself]2342-matt into the lovely fireplace . ‘ Oh , that is a shame , [Ava]832-ava . ’[149-the lord almighty] [he]149-the lord almighty sighs . ‘ Yes , it is . ’[149-the lord almighty] [I]2342-matt agree , re - launching [myself]2342-matt back into the hearth when [he]149-the lord almighty looks up in surprise . [He]149-the lord almighty leans forward . ‘ [I]149-the lord almighty admire [your]832-ava professionalism . ’[149-the lord almighty] ‘ Thank [you]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m bloody blushing again . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hope this wo n’t affect [our]1067-our business relationship , [Ava]832-ava . [I]2342-matt very much look forward to working with [you]832-ava . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m looking forward to working with [you]832-ava too , [Mikael]118-mikael . ’[149-the lord almighty] [He]149-the lord almighty lifts [himself]149-the lord almighty from the couch , approaching [me]2342-matt with [his]149-the lord almighty hand stretched out . Thank God ! [I]2342-matt take it , letting [him]149-the lord almighty gently shake it . Did [he]149-the lord almighty really just drag [me]2342-matt [here]314-here to ask [me]2342-matt to dinner ? [He]149-the lord almighty could have called [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]149-the lord almighty shall endeavor to email [you]832-ava at [my]149-the lord almighty earliest opportunity . Once [I]149-the lord almighty return from [Denmark]37-denmark , [I]149-the lord almighty would like to show [you]832-ava around [the building]390-the building . Until then , [you]832-ava can draft some schemes . [I]149-the lord almighty ’ve had the drawings sent to [[your]832-ava office]2832-your office , and [I]149-the lord almighty ’ll email [you]832-ava the specifics . ’[149-the lord almighty] ‘ Thank [you]832-ava , [Mikael]118-mikael . Enjoy [your]832-ava trip . ’[149-the lord almighty] ‘ Goodbye , [Ava]832-ava . ’[149-the lord almighty] [His]149-the lord almighty long legs take [him]149-the lord almighty out of the snug . Well , that was uncomfortable . [I]2342-matt sit and finish [my]2342-matt water while deliberating over [my]2342-matt current emotional turmoil . If [Jesse]327-jesse was as gracious as [Mikael]118-mikael , then [I]2342-matt would n’t be feeling so shitty right now . Never mixing business and pleasure has never been a rule because [I]2342-matt ’ve never had to make one . In the space of two weeks , [I]2342-matt ’ve had [two wealthy and very handsome clients]1069-two wealthy and very handsome clients pursue [me]2342-matt . One [I]2342-matt ’ve declined , the other [I‘ve]1070-i‘ve caved in on . And , as a result , [I]2342-matt ’m all over [the place]279-the office . Not mixing business and pleasure is now a firm rule and one [I]2342-matt intend to stick to . Not that [I]2342-matt need to reinforce it . [Mikael]118-mikael took [my]2342-matt decline rather graciously and [Jesse]327-jesse has n’t called since abandoning [me]2342-matt . Abandoning ? By two thirty , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] back in [the office]279-the office . [I]2342-matt do n’t mention to [Patrick]327-jesse the strangeness of [my]2342-matt meeting with [Mikael Van Der Haus]118-mikael , mainly because [I]2342-matt ’m concerned that , in the name of business , [he]327-jesse ’ll demand [I]2342-matt go to dinner with [him]327-jesse . [Patrick]327-jesse will assume it would be a business dinner , but [Mikael]118-mikael made it perfectly clear that there would be no business involved . Instead , [I]2342-matt just mention emails , drawings and [his]327-jesse intention to show [me]2342-matt [the building upon [his]327-jesse return from [Denmark]37-denmark]2833-the building upon his return from denmark . This seems to keep [him]327-jesse happy . [I]2342-matt get [my]2342-matt phone from [my]2342-matt bag , noting no missed calls . [I]2342-matt ignore the pang of disappointment and start making a few notes on Scandinavian design . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt ’ll be basing [my]2342-matt design around clean , white , easy living , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] comforted by the fact that it will be tranquil and warm , not sparse and cold . [My]2342-matt phone rings and [I]2342-matt grab it , way too hastily . It ’s [Kate]2557-kate . ‘ Hi . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt greet in an over the top , chirpy voice . [I]2342-matt do n’t know why [I]2342-matt bother . [She]2557-kate sees straight through it . ‘ [Faking detachment]2834-faking detachment , are [we]2834-faking detachment ? ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate asks . ‘ Yes . ’[2557-kate] ‘ [I]2557-kate thought so . Have [you]2557-kate not heard from [him]2834-faking detachment ? ’[2557-kate] ‘ No . ’[2557-kate] ‘ Liking monosyllables today , huh ? ’[2557-kate] ‘ Yes . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate sighs heavily down the phone . ‘ Whatever . Have [you]2557-kate asked [Victoria]54-victoria and [Gayboy]150-gayboy if [they]2835-they ’re[2557-kate] up for Saturday night ? ’ ‘[2557-kate] No . [I]2342-matt will , though . [I]2342-matt ’ve just got back from a very strange meeting . ’ [I]2342-matt open [my]2342-matt top drawer to grab a paperclip , noticing the calla lily squished down the side of [my]2342-matt stapler . ‘[2342-matt] Strange how ? ’ [She]2557-kate ’s intrigued . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt went to meet [the developer of [Lusso]66-lusso]460-one of them , well , [one of [them]460-one of them]460-one of them . [He]460-one of them asked [me]2342-matt to dinner . It was really uncomfortable . ’ [I]460-one of them grab the lily and chuck it in the bin quickly . [She]2557-kate laughs down the phone at [me]460-one of them . ‘[460-one of them] How old is [this one]410-this one ? ’ [I]410-this one bristle at [her]2557-kate insinuation . [He]460-one of them ’s much older than [Jesse]327-jesse . How much older is unknown , but [he]460-one of them ’s definitely older . [I]410-this one ’ll probably never know now , though . ‘[410-this one] Mid - forties [I]2342-matt guess , but extremely handsome , in a Scandinavian kinda way . ’ [I]1074-you shrug to [myself]1074-you while guiding [my]1074-you mouse aimlessly around the screen . [He]460-one of them ’s nowhere near [Jesse]327-jesse ’s league , but [he]460-one of them ’s handsome , nonetheless . ‘[1074-you] [You]1074-you ’re like [a mature man magnet]2836-a mature man magnet at the moment . Are [you]1074-you going ? ’[1074-you] ‘ No ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt screech . ‘ Why would [I]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Why not ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ca n’t see [her]1075-she , but [I]2342-matt know [she]1075-she has a questioning eyebrow arched . ‘ No , [I]1075-she ca n’t , because [I]1075-she have a new rule … no mixing business with pleasure . ’[1075-she] ‘ MOVE ! ’[1075-she] [she]1075-she screams , making [me]2342-matt jump at [my]2342-matt desk . ‘ Sorry , some prat just cut [me]1075-she up . No mixing business with pleasure , ah ? ’[1075-she] ‘ Yes . Are [you]1074-you driving and talking on [your]1074-you mobile , [Miss Matthews]151-miss matthews ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt challenge [her]1075-she . [I]2342-matt know [Margo]1052-margo does n’t have a hands free kit . ‘ Yeah , [I]2342-matt ’d better beat feet . See [you]1074-you at [home]281-home . And do n’t forget to tell [Gay boy]2838-gay boy and [Victoria]54-victoria the plans for Saturday . ’[2342-matt] ‘ What are the plans ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blurt before [she]1075-she hangs up . ‘ Get drunk , [Baroque]130-baroque , eight o’clock . ’[1075-she] Get drunk . Yes , that ’s a very good plan . [I]2342-matt leave [the office]279-the office at six with [Tom]60-tom and [Victoria]54-victoria . ‘ Saturday night , [Guys]2839-guys ? ’[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom stops abruptly , dramatically putting [his]60-tom palms out with a shocked expression on [his]60-tom smooth , baby face . ‘ Oh [my]54-victoria God , yes ! [I]54-victoria brought the most amazing coral shirt at lunch time . It ’s divine ! ’[54-victoria] [Victoria]54-victoria giggles , slapping [his]60-tom arse to push [him]60-tom onwards . ‘ Where are [we]2839-guys going ? ’[1075-she] [she]1075-she asks . ‘ Baroque at eight . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt answer . ‘ [We]2839-guys ’ll see where the night takes [us]2839-guys . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]1075-she ’m[1075-she] in ! ’ [Victoria]54-victoria sings at [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] But no gay joints , [Tom]60-tom . It ’s [my]2342-matt turn to pull . ’ [she]1075-she grumbles [Tom]60-tom frowns . ‘[2342-matt] What about [me]2342-matt ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt ’ve had [your]2342-matt feed . It ’s [my]2342-matt turn , ’ [she]1075-she spits , ‘[2342-matt] Besides , what about [the scientist]56-the scientist ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt know , science is actually very boring . ’ [he]56-the scientist grumbles . [We]2839-guys say [our]2839-guys goodbyes at [Green Park Station]38-green park station . [I]2342-matt take [Jubilee]152-jubilee to [Central]39-central , while [Victoria]54-victoria and [Tom]60-tom hop on [Piccadilly]35-piccadilly . Chapter 17 ‘[2342-matt] Morning , ’ [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt sound like a miserable cow , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] trying really hard not to be . [Tom]60-tom looks up from [his]60-tom copy of [Interiors Weekly]153-interiors weekly and lowers [his]60-tom glasses to the end of [his]60-tom nose . ‘ [Darling]78-darling , why the long face ? ’[60-tom] [he]60-tom asks . [I]2342-matt ca n’t even muster up the energy to plaster on a fake smile . [I]2342-matt slump in [my]2342-matt chair , and [Tom]60-tom ’s sprawled across [my]2342-matt desk , like mature ivy , within a second . ‘ Here , this will cheer [you]78-darling up . ’[60-tom] [He]60-tom presents [me]2342-matt with a feature in the magazine [he]60-tom ’s reading and there , sat casually on the velvet chaise lounge at [Lusso]66-lusso , is [me]2342-matt . ‘ Wonderful , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt sigh . [I]2342-matt do n’t even bother reading it . [I]2342-matt need to eradicate all things relating to [Lusso]66-lusso from [my]2342-matt mind . ‘ Man trouble ? ’[60-tom] [He]60-tom gives [me]2342-matt a look of sympathy . No , [not man]1078-not man trouble – there ’s [no man]1079-no man to be having trouble with . [I]2342-matt sulk . [I]2342-matt knew it would be the last time [I]2342-matt saw [him]60-tom . When [he]60-tom stalked off , [I]2342-matt knew deep down that [I]2342-matt would n’t see [him]60-tom again . [I]2342-matt ’ve not been checking [my]2342-matt phone every ten minutes , [I]2342-matt ’ve not been mooding over it and [I]2342-matt ’m not twiddling [my]2342-matt hair as [I]2342-matt think this . [I]2342-matt reluctantly admit … [I]2342-matt really miss [him]60-tom . How ridiculous . [He]60-tom was a rebound fuck . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m fine , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt find the strength to slap a smile on [my]2342-matt face . ‘ It ’s Friday , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] looking forward to getting plastered tomorrow night . ’ [I]154-fabulous need a good night out . ‘[154-fabulous] Are [we]1080-we really getting plastered ? [Fabulous]154-fabulous ! ’ [My]154-fabulous attention is turned to [the office entrance]2840-the office entrance when [I]154-fabulous hear the high pitched screech of [Victoria]54-victoria . ‘[154-fabulous] Oh … [my]2342-matt … God ! [You]2342-matt will not believe what [I]2342-matt just saw . ’ [She]363-irene ’s on the verge of passing out . [Tom]60-tom and [I]2342-matt both look at [her]363-irene blankly . ‘[2342-matt] What ? ’ [we]1080-we ask in unison . ‘[2342-matt] So , [I]2342-matt was in [Starbucks]12-starbucks , waiting for [my]2342-matt double shot cappuccino with extra chocolate , and [this guy]138-mr baldy jag walks in – [I]2342-matt recognise [him]138-mr baldy jag from somewhere . [I]2342-matt ’m not sure where , but [he]138-mr baldy jag ’s one hot piece of [man]678-man . Anyway , [he]138-mr baldy jag ’s just stood there , minding [his]138-mr baldy jag own , and [this woman]363-irene comes strutting in and tips a frappuccino all over [him]138-mr baldy jag , ’[1082-her] [She]1082-her pauses to draw breath . ‘ So , [the woman]363-irene starts screaming at [him]138-mr baldy jag , calling [him]138-mr baldy jag a lying , selfish arsehole , and then just walks out , leaving [him]138-mr baldy jag dripping in frozen coffee and cream . It was all very dramatic . ’[1082-her] [I]2342-matt sit and watch as [Victoria]54-victoria recovers from [her]1082-her two breath commentary about the happenings of Starbucks on a Friday morning . Nothing like that ever happens when [I]2342-matt ’m in there . ‘[2342-matt] It sounds like [someone]587-someone ’s been [a naughty boy]1084-a naughty boy , ’ [Tom]60-tom smirks . ‘[1084-a naughty boy] How hot was [he]1084-a naughty boy ? ’ [I]1085-we roll [my]1085-we eyes . No doubt [Tom]60-tom would have flown to [his]60-tom rescue . [Victoria]54-victoria hands come up in front of [her]1082-her , palms forward . ‘[1085-we] [We]1085-we ’re talking [Men]2420-men ’s Vogue . ’[1085-we] ‘ No ! ’[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom takes [his]60-tom glasses off . ‘ Is [he]60-tom still there ? ’[1082-her] [She]1082-her screws [her]1082-her pretty little face up . ‘ No . ’[1082-her] Oh , this is ridiculous . [Patrick]327-jesse comes barrelling into [the office]279-the office . ‘ [Guys]2839-guys , have [we]1085-we any work to do , or is it fart around Friday ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse passes [us]1085-we swiftly , heading into [[his]327-jesse office]279-the office and shutting the door behind [him]327-jesse . ‘ [You]327-jesse two , let ’s get on with some work , shall [we]1085-we ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shoo them away from [my]2342-matt desk . ‘ Oh , [I]60-tom forgot . ’[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom swings around . ‘ [Van Der Haus]118-mikael called to say [he]60-tom ’ll be back in [London]5-london on Monday . [He]60-tom ’ll call [you]327-jesse upon [his]60-tom return . [He]60-tom ’s emailing [you]327-jesse the specifics and had these sent over . Is [he]60-tom hot ? ’[60-tom] [His]60-tom eyebrows jump up suggestively as [he]60-tom hands [me]2342-matt an envelope . [He]60-tom ’s the biggest gay tart , but [I]2342-matt ’ll humour [him]60-tom . ‘ Very . ’[60-tom] [I]2342-matt take the drawings , widening [my]2342-matt eyes for affect . [He]60-tom screws [his]60-tom face up . ‘ How come [you]327-jesse get [all the dishy clients]2845-all the dishy clients ? ’[60-tom] [He]60-tom walks back to [his]60-tom desk . ‘ What [I]60-tom would n’t give to have an Adonis walk in [here]314-here and throw [me]60-tom over [his]60-tom shoulder . ’[60-tom] [I]2342-matt wince at [Tom]60-tom ’s referral to [Jesse]327-jesse ’s performance the last time [I]2342-matt saw [him]60-tom and pull [my]2342-matt phone out of [my]2342-matt bag when it starts bleeping with a calendar reminder . Oh , [my]2342-matt hairdresser ’s appointment , tomorrow at noon . [I]2342-matt forgot about that . Well , that ’s improved [my]2342-matt mood slightly . And [I]2342-matt ’ll be nicely groomed for [our]1087-our big night out . Perfect . [I]2342-matt work [my]2342-matt way through heaps of quotations , delivery schedules and contractor requirements , before calling [[my]2342-matt live clients]1088-my live clients to check all is well . It is , apart from [Mrs Peters]155-mrs peters swags and tails drama . An email lands from [Mikael]118-mikael . [I]2342-matt scan it quickly , deciding to look at it in more detail on Monday . [Sally]54-victoria comes scuttling up to [my]2342-matt desk with a delivery . ‘ [Urm]156-urm … [I]54-victoria think this may be for [you]156-urm , [Ava]832-ava . ’[54-victoria] [She]54-victoria shifts from side to side with a box in [her]54-victoria hand . ‘ Do [you]156-urm want it ? What ? Yes , [I]54-victoria want it . If it ’s a delivery for [me]54-victoria , then [I]54-victoria guess [I]54-victoria want it . Oh , [this girl]832-ava is painfully anxious . [I]54-victoria take the box from [her]832-ava hands . ‘[54-victoria] Thank [you]1089-you , [Sally]54-victoria . Will [you]1089-you make [Patrick]327-jesse a coffee ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt did n’t know [he]327-jesse wanted one . ’ Oh , the panic on [her]832-ava face has [me]2342-matt wanting to make [her]832-ava a coffee . ‘[2342-matt] Well , [he]327-jesse does n’t look right . Let ’s look after [him]327-jesse . ’ ‘[327-jesse] Is [he]327-jesse okay ? [He]327-jesse ’s not ill , is [he]327-jesse ? ’ ‘[327-jesse] No , but [I]2342-matt think [he]327-jesse could do with a coffee . ’ [I]2342-matt press , trying [my]2342-matt hardest not to lose [my]2342-matt patience . ‘[2342-matt] Of course . ’ [She]832-ava scuttles off , [her]832-ava brown plaid skirt swishing around [her]832-ava court shoes . [I]327-jesse could n’t even hazard a guess at [her]832-ava age . [She]832-ava looks about forty , but intuition tells [me]327-jesse [she]832-ava ’ll shock [me]327-jesse and be nearer [my]327-jesse age . [I]327-jesse open the box and find all of the material swatches [I]327-jesse ordered for [The Life Building]2829-the life building . [I]327-jesse throw the box under [my]327-jesse desk . [I]327-jesse ’ll deal with [them]2848-them on Monday too . As six o’clock approaches , [I]327-jesse pop [my]327-jesse head around [Patrick]327-jesse ’s door . [He]327-jesse really does n’t look right . ‘[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse , [I]2342-matt ’m off . Are [you]327-jesse okay ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse looks up from [his]327-jesse computer and smiles , but [his]327-jesse eyes do n’t sparkle like usual . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] just feeling a little peaky , flower . ’ ‘[327-jesse] [You]327-jesse should go [home]281-home . ’ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] worried . ‘ [I]327-jesse think [I]327-jesse will . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse heaves [his]327-jesse big body up from behind [his]327-jesse desk and turns [his]327-jesse computer off . ‘ [Bloody woman]2849-bloody woman ’s fed [me]327-jesse something dodgy . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse mutters as [he]327-jesse picks up [his]327-jesse briefcase . ‘ Everything ’s been turned off . [You]2850-you just need to set the alarm . ’[327-jesse] ‘ That ’s good . Have a good weekend , flower . [I]327-jesse ’ll see [you]2850-you on Monday . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse wipes the back of [his]327-jesse hand over [his]327-jesse sweating brow . There ’s definitely something wrong . ‘ Okay , see [you]2850-you on Monday . ’[327-jesse] * * * [I]2342-matt stand in [[my]2342-matt bedroom]2495-my bedroom ready to go . [My]2342-matt hair is behaving – happy that it ’s been blow dried into tumbling waves , courtesy of [Philippe]157-philippe , [my]2342-matt hairdresser – and the new dress [I]2342-matt picked up from [Selfridges]158-selfridges was a panic buy to make [me]2342-matt feel better but fits perfectly . It ’s black , short and very tight . With dramatic , smudged eyes and nude lips , [I]2342-matt ’m looking pretty sultry . [I]2342-matt walk into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , finding [Kate]2557-kate hanging out of the window having a sneaky fag . What ’s [she]2557-kate thinking about now ? [She]2557-kate looks [her]2557-kate usual lovely self , in a cream backless dress . ‘[2342-matt] Wow ! ’ [she]2557-kate blurts . ‘[587-someone] [Someone]587-someone ’s out to impress tonight . ’ [She]2557-kate jumps down from [the worktop]2614-the worktop , slipping [her]2557-kate feet into [her]2557-kate gold heels . ‘[587-someone] Short enough ? ’ [I]159-pot arch an eyebrow at [her]2557-kate , running [my]159-pot eyes down [her]2557-kate dress . ‘[159-pot] [Pot]159-pot … ’ [She]2557-kate laughs [her]2557-kate carefree laugh that never fails to bring a smile to [my]159-pot own face . ‘[159-pot] Here . ’ [She]2557-kate hands [me]159-pot a glass of wine . [I]159-pot take it gratefully , pretty much necking it . It ’s very welcome . ‘[159-pot] [The taxi]597-the taxi ’s here . ’ [I]159-pot dump [my]159-pot empty on the side and follow [Kate]2557-kate out to [the taxi]597-the taxi . [I]159-pot ’m[159-pot] looking forward to [my]2342-matt recovery night , but ignoring the fact that [my]2342-matt recovery night is to recover from a few steamy encounters with [a steamy male]1094-a steamy male , and not to recover from the breakdown of [my]2342-matt four year relationship with [Matt]2342-matt . It ’s ironic . [I]2342-matt never felt the need to go out and get steaming drunk after [my]2342-matt break up with [Matt]2342-matt . [We]1095-we walk into [Baroque]130-baroque , spotting [Tom]60-tom and [Victoria]54-victoria at [the bar]361-the bar immediately . ‘ What the hell ? ’[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom exclaims , running [his]60-tom eyes up and down [my]2342-matt black clad body on a grin . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [you]832-ava look lethal ! ’[60-tom] ‘ Really good , [Ava]832-ava . ’[54-victoria] [Victoria]54-victoria adds . It ’s just a dress . ‘ Thanks , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shrug , pulling the hem down . ‘ What are [you]832-ava having ? ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate asks . Well , [I]2342-matt ’ve already had a glass of wine , so [I]2342-matt guess [I]2342-matt should stick . [I]2342-matt did say [I]2342-matt was going to have a good drink . ‘ [Rose]160-rose , but make sure it ’s [Zinfandel]161-zinfandel , please . ’[2342-matt] [Kate]2557-kate orders the drinks , and [we]1097-we make [our]1097-we way to a tall table near [the DJ]1098-the dj . [Tom]60-tom ’s wearing [his]60-tom new coral shirt and too tight jeans – [he]60-tom may as well have gay tattooed on [his]60-tom forehead , and [Victoria]54-victoria looks as pretty as always . [Everyone]282-everyone ’s really made an effort tonight , [me]2342-matt included . Why is that ? As the wine flows down , [my]2342-matt troubled thoughts flow away . [We]1097-we ’re laughing and chatting , and [I]1097-we ’m[1097-we] beginning to feel normal again . [I]2342-matt feel foot loose and fancy free . [I]2342-matt like it . [[My]2342-matt Mum]577-mum has always said “ [Alcohol]162-alcohol makes for loose lips and loose lips sink ships ” . This , [I]2342-matt have just discovered , is most certainly true because [I]2342-matt ’m totally lit up , and [I]2342-matt ’ve filled [everyone]282-everyone in on recent events . Considering [I]2342-matt wanted to forget about it , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] doing a bloody good job of hanging on to the memories . [Tom]60-tom is thrilled about all of the rebound sex [I]2342-matt ’ve had . ‘ So , [he]60-tom just stalked off and [you]2853-you have n’t seen [him]60-tom since ? ’[60-tom] [he]60-tom asks critically . [Victoria]54-victoria pipes up . ‘ That ’s really un - cool . ’[54-victoria] [Kate]2557-kate rolls [her]2557-kate eyes , looking at [the pair]1101-the pair like [they]1101-the pair ’re a sandwich short of a picnic . ‘[1101-the pair] Is n’t it obvious ? ’ [she]2557-kate huffs . [Tom]60-tom and [Victoria]54-victoria look at each other , then to [me]1101-the pair . [I]1101-the pair shrug . Is what obvious ? [Kate]2557-kate shakes [her]2557-kate head . ‘[1101-the pair] [You]1102-you lot are dense . It ’s simple … [he]60-tom wants [her]2557-kate . [No man]1079-no man behaves like that over a quick screw . [I]2342-matt ’ve told [you]1102-you this , [Ava]832-ava . ’ ‘[60-tom] Why would [he]60-tom disappear then ? ’ [Victoria]54-victoria leans in , truly captivated by [Kate]2557-kate ’s explanation for [Jesse]327-jesse ’s behaviour . ‘[60-tom] [I]2342-matt do n’t know ! [I]2342-matt ’m just saying . [I]2557-kate ’ve witnessed the chemistry . It ’s way off the scales . ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate flops back on [her]2557-kate tall chair in complete exasperation . [I]2342-matt laugh . [I]2342-matt ’m not sure if it ’s too much wine , but that ’s just … funny . ‘[2342-matt] It does n’t matter . [He]60-tom was a rebound fuck and that ’s it . ’ [My]60-tom explanation does n’t seem to satisfy because [they]2854-they all carry on studying [me]60-tom with doubtful looks on [their]2854-they faces . [I]60-tom do n’t even think [I]60-tom ’m[60-tom] satisfied with [my]2342-matt explanation , but it ’s been four days and [I]2342-matt ’ve resisted the overwhelming temptation to call [him]60-tom . Besides , [he]60-tom has n’t called [me]2342-matt or made any further appointments , so that pretty much says it all . [I]2342-matt ’m moving on . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] just massively pissed off with [myself]2342-matt for relenting to [his]60-tom persistence , putting [him]60-tom in the position to drop [me]2342-matt – and [he]60-tom has . ‘ Oh , can [we]2855-we change the subject , please ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt snap . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] out to enjoy [myself]2342-matt , not to analyse the details of [my]2342-matt rebound fuck . ’ [Tom]60-tom stirs [his]60-tom pina colada . ‘[1104-your] [You]1104-your know , everything happens for a reason . ’ ‘[1104-your] Oh , do n’t start with all that airy fairy crap ! ’ [Kate]2557-kate chides [him]60-tom . ‘[1104-your] It does . [I]2342-matt ’m a firm believer in it . [Your]1104-your rebound fuck is a stepping stone to the love of [your]1104-your life . ’[60-tom] [He]60-tom winks at [me]2342-matt . ‘ And [Matt]2342-matt was a four year stepping stone . ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate points out . ‘ To stepping stones , ’[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom sings . [Kate]2557-kate joins the toast . ‘ And shots ! ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt finish [my]2342-matt wine and raise [my]2342-matt glass in agreement . ‘ Yes , shots ! ’[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom shouts , dancing off to [the bar]361-the bar . [We]1106-we sway down [the road]2482-the road to [[our]1106-we next destination]1108-our next destination , [The Blue Bar]361-the bar . [We]1106-we make it past [the doormen]1109-the doormen , although [one]1110-one does eye [Tom]60-tom ’s shirt suspiciously . [Tom]60-tom and [Victoria]54-victoria charge for the dance floor when [they]1111-they hear [Flo Rida]163-flo rida and [Sia]164-sia singing about [Wild Ones]165-wild ones , leaving [Kate]2557-kate and [I]2342-matt to get the drinks . [I]2342-matt order a round and take [Tom]60-tom and [Victoria]54-victoria ’s over , putting [them]1111-they on a ledge nearby under [their]1111-they instruction . The dancing is that serious ; [they]1111-they could be some time . When [I]2342-matt join [Kate]2557-kate back at [the bar]361-the bar , [she]2557-kate ’s talking to [a man]340-a man . [She]2557-kate does n’t know [him]340-a man . [I]2342-matt can tell because [she]2557-kate ’s notched up [her]2557-kate flirting by a few gears . As [I]2342-matt approach , [she]2557-kate raises [her]2557-kate voice over the music . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , this is [Greg]166-greg . ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt smile , putting [my]2342-matt hand out politely . [He]340-a man looks normal enough . ‘ Hi , nice to meet [you]832-ava , ’[340-a man] ‘ Yeah , and [you]832-ava . This is [[my]340-a man mate]166-greg , [Alex]167-alex . ’[340-a man] [He]340-a man signals to [a cute , dark haired guy next to [him]340-a man]1114-a cute , dark haired guy next to him . ‘ Hi , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout . [He]340-a man smiles confidently . ‘ [You]832-ava wanna drink ? ’[340-a man] ‘ No , thanks , [I]2342-matt ’ve just got one . ’[2342-matt] Rule number one : Never accept drinks from [strangers]2592-strangers . [Dan]93-dan ’s drilled it into [me]2342-matt since [I]2342-matt started going out . ‘ Nah problem , ’[340-a man] [He]340-a man shrugs . [Kate]2557-kate and [Greg]166-greg move away from [us]1116-us , leaving [me]2342-matt and [Alex]167-alex to make conversation . [I]2342-matt did n’t really want this . [I]2342-matt came out to be rid of [men in general]1117-men in general . Now [I]2342-matt ’ve been lumbered with one . ‘ What do [ya]2856-ya do ? ’[167-alex] [Alex]167-alex asks [me]2342-matt . ‘ Interior design , [you]167-alex ? ’[167-alex] ‘ [Estate agent]2857-estate agent , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt inwardly groan . [I]2342-matt have [an aversion to estate agents]1118-an aversion to estate agents – [cocky , over confident , gold plated salesmen]1119-cocky , over confident , gold plated salesmen . [Alex]167-alex is all of these , with the added bonus of a dodgy cockney accent . ‘ Nice . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say , because [he]167-alex ’s just lost all of [my]2342-matt interest , not that there was any in the first place . ‘ Yeah , got [myself]167-alex a few grand bonus taday . Give [me]167-alex a shit pit and [I]167-alex ’ll sell it , nah problem . [I]167-alex ’m[167-alex] living it large in [Landon]168-landon and laving it . ’ Oh God , slime ball ! ‘[1120-my] [Ya]1120-my fancy going out samtime ? ’ NO ! ‘[2342-matt] Thanks , but [I]2342-matt ’m in a relationship . ’[2342-matt] It ’s a good job [Cockney]169-cockney does n’t know [me]2342-matt and [my]2342-matt bad habit . [I]2342-matt ’m twiddling [my]1120-my hair frantically . ‘[1120-my] [Ya]1120-my sure ? ’ [he]167-alex asks , inching closer and stroking [my]1120-my arm . [I]1120-my pull away , planning [my]1120-my escape . ‘[1120-my] Positive . ’ [I]1120-my smile sweetly , looking around for [Kate]2557-kate . Within the space of time it takes [me]1120-my to raise [my]1120-my glass to [my]1120-my lips , [Cockney]169-cockney quickly disappears from [my]1120-my line of vision . It takes [me]1120-my a few seconds to piece together the events that are unfolding before [my]1120-my eyes , but when [I]1120-my do , [I]1120-my ’m[1120-my] appalled . [Jesse]327-jesse has [Cockney]169-cockney in a firm grip around [his]327-jesse neck and pinned up against a pillar . Chapter 18 ‘ Keep [your]2858-your fucking hands to [yourself]2858-your . ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse snarls at a poor , startled [Cockney]169-cockney . [He]327-jesse does n’t know what ’s hit [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt feel bad ; [he]327-jesse was only trying [his]327-jesse luck . [I]2342-matt would have dealt with it . Where did [he]327-jesse come from ? This is all [I]2342-matt need on [my]2342-matt night out , supposedly free from [arrogant men]1121-arrogant men . Or not so , it would appear . [He]327-jesse ’s left [me]2342-matt for four days wondering what happened , and now [he]327-jesse ’s turned up , out of the blue , raging like a wild bull . Has [he]327-jesse even calmed down from Tuesday ? ‘ [I]1122-sorry mate ’m[1122-sorry mate] [sorry mate]1122-sorry mate . [I]2342-matt did n’t mean any offence . [[Your]1123-your girlfriend]1124-your girlfriend and [I]2342-matt were just chatting about shit , [ya]1125-ya know . ’ [Cockney]169-cockney explains , completely panicked . [Girlfriend]121-girlfriend ? Oh ! [I]1124-your girlfriend want to advise poor cockney that [I]1124-your girlfriend ’m[1124-your girlfriend] not even [the girlfriend of the maniac]1124-your girlfriend pinning [him]1124-your girlfriend up by [his]1124-your girlfriend throat , but judging by [Jesse]327-jesse ’s obvious mood , [I]2342-matt ’ll decline at the risk of pissing [him]1124-your girlfriend off further . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse , let go of [him]1124-your girlfriend , [he]1124-your girlfriend was n’t doing anything . ’[169-cockney] [Cockney]169-cockney looks at [me]2342-matt gratefully . [He]1124-your girlfriend knows [I]2342-matt ’m stretching the truth . A few more seconds , and [I]1124-your girlfriend ’m[1124-your girlfriend] pretty sure [I]2342-matt would have been throwing a drink over [him]1124-your girlfriend . [I]2342-matt gently stroke [Jesse]327-jesse ’s arm in an attempt to calm [him]1124-your girlfriend down , ignoring [his]1124-your girlfriend warm firmness . [He]1124-your girlfriend looks like [he]1124-your girlfriend could explode with anger . [I]2342-matt ’m pissed . How dare [he]1124-your girlfriend turn up and trample all over [my]2342-matt recovery night . ‘[2342-matt] What ’s going on ? ’ [Kate]2557-kate arrives next to [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Nothing , ’ [I]327-jesse snap . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , let [him]1124-your girlfriend go . ’ [He]1124-your girlfriend does n’t appear to be listening . What am [I]327-jesse supposed to do with this ? [I]327-jesse do n’t want to see [him]1124-your girlfriend . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] feeling derailed already , and [he]1124-your girlfriend has n’t even looked at [me]2342-matt yet . [I]2342-matt can hardly walk away and leave [poor Cockney]169-cockney to bear the brunt of [Jesse]327-jesse ’s unjustified rage . Where the bloody hell has [he]1124-your girlfriend been for four days ? [I]2342-matt ’m beyond relieved when [Sam]1914-sam turns up on the scene . ‘[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam , please sort [your]1126-your twat of [a friend]2645-a friend out , ’ [I]1914-sam turn towards [Kate]2557-kate . ‘[1914-sam] Come on . ’ [Kate]2557-kate ’s eyes light up like The Blackpool Illuminations at [Sam]1914-sam ’s unexpected arrival . [I]1914-sam hear [Sam]1914-sam calmly coaxing [Jesse]327-jesse from [Cockneys]170-cockneys throat as [I]1914-sam drag [Kate]2557-kate away , heading for [the dance floor]2859-the dance floor . ‘[1914-sam] What was all that about ? ’ [she]2557-kate asks . ‘[1914-sam] Do n’t . What happened to [Greg]166-greg ? ’ ‘[166-greg] [He]166-greg was a total dick . Come on , let ’s dance . ’ [Tom]60-tom and [Victoria]54-victoria welcome [us]2860-us with waving arms as [we]2860-us join [them]2860-us on [the dance floor]2859-the dance floor . [I]166-greg ’ve been thrown off guard by [Jesse]327-jesse turning up . Is this a coincidence , or did [he]166-greg know [I]166-greg would be [here]314-here ? How could [he]166-greg know ? [I]166-greg was having a great night , not having thought about [him]166-greg for at least an hour . That ’s a record for the last four days . Damn it ! [I]166-greg push [Jesse]327-jesse out of [my]166-greg mind and soon let [The Source]2862-the source & [Candi Staton]171-candi staton take [me]166-greg to a better place . [I]166-greg love this track . After half an hour and a string of some great tracks , [I]166-greg have n’t seen or heard from [Jesse]327-jesse . [Sam]1914-sam must have ejected [him]166-greg , or maybe [the doormen]1109-the doormen did . Either way , [I]166-greg ’m[166-greg] free to resume the great night it had been up until [Jesse]327-jesse crashed in . [I]2342-matt signal to [Kate]2557-kate that [I]2342-matt ’m going to [the toilet]440-the toilet , smiling when [she]2557-kate acknowledges with a shimmy and a laugh . As [I]2342-matt exit [the cubicle]2865-the cubicle , [I]2342-matt fish [my]2342-matt nude lipstick out of [my]2342-matt bag to re - apply , and check [my]2342-matt phone to find ten missed calls from [Jesse]327-jesse . What ? Oh , [he]327-jesse ’s angry all right . But what on [earth]944-earth has [he]327-jesse got to be mad about ? Any pangs of [Jesse]327-jesse withdrawal have been extinguished by [his]327-jesse unreasonable behaviour . Who does [he]327-jesse think [he]327-jesse is ? [I]2342-matt do n’t dwell on it , though . [I]2342-matt clear the missed calls , making [my]2342-matt way back to [the dance floor]361-the bar , only to find the others making [their]2868-their way to [the bar]361-the bar . ‘[2342-matt] Drink ! ’ [Tom]60-tom clenches [his]60-tom throat in an exaggerated signal of thirst . It ’s [Victoria]54-victoria ’s round . As [I]2342-matt wait for [her]54-victoria to get served , a wave of unease washes over [me]2342-matt . [He]1128-that guy ’s still here . [I]2342-matt know it . [She]54-victoria hands [me]2342-matt [my]2342-matt drink , [her]54-victoria mouth gaping open . ‘[2342-matt] Oh … [my]2342-matt … God ! ’ [I]2342-matt take [my]2342-matt wine . ‘[2342-matt] What ? ’ ‘[1128-that guy] [That guy]1128-that guy , the one in Starbucks [I]2342-matt was telling [you]1128-that guy about , ’ [she]54-victoria explains , nodding over [my]1128-that guy shoulder . ‘[1128-that guy] There [he]1128-that guy is . [I]2342-matt told [you]1128-that guy [he]1128-that guy was yummy . ’ [I]2342-matt turn in the direction of [Victoria]54-victoria ’s stare and find [her]54-victoria looking at [Sam]1914-sam . But that ’s not what catches [my]2342-matt attention . Every fine air on the back of [my]2342-matt neck prickles when [I]2342-matt see [Jesse]327-jesse leaning against the very pillar [he]327-jesse had [poor Cockney]169-cockney pinned up against , not an hour ago . [His]327-jesse severe stare is piercing [me]2342-matt , while [Sam]1914-sam and [the other guy from [The Manor]2356-the manor]2869-the other guy from the manor , [Drew]327-jesse , are busy chatting and drinking . [Jesse]327-jesse ’s not engaging in the conversation , though . No , [he]327-jesse ’s stood there looking as angry as [he]327-jesse did earlier , drilling holes right into [me]2342-matt . [Victoria]54-victoria ’s information suddenly filters into [my]2342-matt brain . [I]2342-matt turn back to [her]54-victoria . ‘[2342-matt] What happened ? ’ [She]54-victoria looks vague as [she]54-victoria hands drinks to [Kate]2557-kate and [Tom]60-tom . [They]2871-they accept , swiftly returning to the floor . ‘[2342-matt] What happened where ? ’ [she]54-victoria asks on a frown . [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes . [She]54-victoria ’s so dim sometimes . ‘[2342-matt] Starbucks , what happened ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Oh . ’ [She]54-victoria ’s back in the game . ‘[1129-she] [She]1129-she just walked in , started screaming and shouting , and lobbed a coffee over the poor bloke . ’ ‘[1129-she] What did [she]1129-she say ? ’ ‘[1129-she] Oh , [I]2342-matt ca n’t remember . [She]1129-she called [him]1130-he a selfish , cheating something or other . ’ [she]1129-she flips casually . [Sam]1914-sam has [a girlfriend]2411-a girlfriend ? [I]1129-she ’ll have to warn [Kate]2557-kate , [she]2557-kate seems to like [him]1131-the guy who hoofed you out of the office . ‘[1129-she] Hey , [he]1130-he ’s with [the guy who hoofed [you]1132-you out of [the office]279-the office]1131-the guy who hoofed you out of the office . ’ ‘[1130-he] Yeah , listen , keep that to [yourself]1132-you , okay ? ’ [She]1129-she frowns at [me]1130-he . ‘[1130-he] What ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mean the flying coffee . And while [we]1134-we ’re at it , not a word to [Patrick]327-jesse about the hoofing either . ’[1129-she] [She]1129-she shrugs . ‘ Whatever . Oh , [I]1129-she love this song . [Ava]832-ava , come on . ’[1129-she] [I]2342-matt watch as [Victoria]54-victoria dances [her]1129-she way back through [the crowd]2809-the crowd , but [I]2342-matt ca n’t move . [I]2342-matt can feel [his]1130-he eyes burning into [my]2342-matt back . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt should just walk away , but the magnet affect [he]1130-he has on [me]2342-matt sets [me]2342-matt turning towards [him]1130-he instead . [He]1130-he has [his]1130-he phone in [his]1130-he hand , and [he]1130-he waves it in the air in a kind of look gesture . [I]2342-matt do n’t know why [I]2342-matt do , but [I]2342-matt do . [I]2342-matt get [my]2342-matt phone from [my]2342-matt bag , and not so much to [my]2342-matt surprise , [Jesse]327-jesse ’s name is illuminating [my]2342-matt screen . [I]2342-matt glance back up , seeing [him]327-jesse put [his]327-jesse phone to [his]327-jesse ear . [He]327-jesse wants [me]2342-matt to answer it . The loud music around [me]2342-matt fades out into a dull base , pulsing in [my]2342-matt ears , and the hum of laughing and chatting diminishes into a low mumble of sound around [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m being swallowed up by [his]327-jesse eyes . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] completely immobilised . [My]2342-matt senses are assaulted by the presence of [Jesse Ward]327-jesse , the sight of [him]327-jesse triggering all the memories of [his]327-jesse voice , [his]327-jesse smell , [his]327-jesse touch . The unforgiving power [he]327-jesse holds over [me]2342-matt is playing [the Devil]1136-the devil ’s advocate with [my]2342-matt intelligence , and [my]2342-matt heart is hammering a wild , uneven beat in [my]2342-matt ears . [I]2342-matt watch as [he]327-jesse lowers [his]327-jesse phone from [his]327-jesse ear , shaking [his]327-jesse head . [He]327-jesse starts towards [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt see [Sam]1914-sam look in [my]2342-matt direction as [Jesse]327-jesse leaves [[their]1137-their group]1138-their group , [Drew]327-jesse flipping [his]327-jesse eyes up too . [They]1137-their both look uneasy at [Jesse]327-jesse ’s obvious target . [I]2342-matt momentarily recapture [my]2342-matt senses when [Sam]1914-sam grabs [Jesse]327-jesse ’s arm to pull [him]1914-sam back , but gets shoved out of the way . The music and activity crashes back into [my]2342-matt brain . [I]2342-matt plead with [my]2342-matt legs to listen to the sensible side of [my]2342-matt brain and take [me]2342-matt away from here before [my]2342-matt stupid side allows [me]2342-matt to fall victim to [his]327-jesse physical magnetism again . [I]2342-matt abandon [my]2342-matt drink on [the bar]361-the bar and kick [my]2342-matt legs into action , bolting through [the crowd]2809-the crowd , knocking [people]372-people out of the way , as [my]2342-matt retreat becomes fraught with the need to make it to the safety of [the toilets]2363-the toilets . No contact and no derailment . [Hazardous]172-hazardous does n’t quite cover it . [He]172-hazardous ’s proved tonight exactly why [I]2342-matt need to avoid [him]172-hazardous like the plague . [I]2342-matt throw the cubicle door shut , fighting to secure the latch as [he]172-hazardous pushes against the other side , hindering [my]2342-matt attempts to keep [him]172-hazardous away . [My]2342-matt adrenalin is pumping . For the briefest of moments , [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt ’ve managed to block [his]172-hazardous access because the resistance on the other side eases , but not enough to for [me]2342-matt to get the lock engaged . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [I]1143-you ’m[1143-you] coming in or [you]1143-you ’re coming out . [I]172-hazardous do n’t want to hurt [you]1143-you , but if [you]1143-you do n’t stop fighting [me]172-hazardous , [I]172-hazardous ’ll break the fucking door down . ’[172-hazardous] [His]172-hazardous breathing is heavy . Resting [my]2342-matt back against the door , [I]2342-matt try to get some air into [my]2342-matt lungs . [I]2342-matt look up around [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m cornered . [You]1143-you would think [I]832-ava would be safe in [the ladies]2873-the ladies . [I]832-ava ca n’t look at [him]172-hazardous , [I]832-ava ’ll cave if [he]172-hazardous gets is hands on [me]832-ava . [I]832-ava need not to be in this fucking position ! How did [I]832-ava get [myself]832-ava in the situation ? [I]832-ava jump when the bang of a fist on the door resonates through [me]832-ava . ‘[832-ava] God damn it , [Ava]832-ava ! ’ Bang ! ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , please . ’ [I]832-ava repeatedly jolt forward under the thumps of [Jesse]327-jesse ’s fist . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] screwed . ‘ Go away , please ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout . [His]2342-matt fist collides with the door again . ‘ No , fuck . [Ava]832-ava ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt just have to leave . [He]2342-matt wo n’t restrain [me]2342-matt in such a public place . [I]2342-matt need to walk away . Block it out … block [him]2342-matt out . There ’s silence . [I]2342-matt hold [my]2342-matt breath . Has [he]2342-matt gone ? [I]2342-matt stand quietly for a few minutes , [my]2342-matt eyes darting around the small cubicle , constantly looking up to check [he]2342-matt ’s not coming over the top . [He]2342-matt ’s gone . [I]2342-matt stupidly relax against the door . Within in two seconds flat , [I]2342-matt ’m thrust forward and [he]2342-matt ’s in . When [I]2342-matt turn around , there ’s less than a foot between [us]2874-us , and the first thing [I]2342-matt notice is [his]2342-matt rapid breathing , [his]2342-matt black shirt lifting with the rise and fall of [his]2342-matt chest . [I]2342-matt stare at [his]2342-matt jeans . If [I]2342-matt look up at [his]2342-matt handsome face , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] at an instant disadvantage . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , look at [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt demands harshly . [I]2342-matt clap [my]2342-matt hands over [my]2342-matt ears , lowering [myself]2342-matt to the toilet seat . [I]2342-matt need to block it all out . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , why are [you]832-ava doing this ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks . Oh , how long have [I]2342-matt got to sit here and block it all out ? [I]2342-matt start humming in [my]2342-matt head as [I]2342-matt stare down at the floor . [I]2342-matt feel [his]2342-matt hands clap around [my]2342-matt wrists , pulling [my]2342-matt hands away from [my]2342-matt ears . [His]2342-matt touch heats [my]2342-matt skin . Why does [he]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt ’m doing this ? ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t want to do this in [the toilets of [a bar]1145-a bar]1144-the toilets of a bar , [Ava]832-ava . ’ ‘[832-ava] Then do n’t . ’ [I]832-ava try to regain possession of [my]832-ava hands but , as usual , [he]2342-matt overpowers [me]832-ava . ‘[832-ava] Please , just let [me]2342-matt walk away . ’ [He]2342-matt slowly crouches down in front of [me]832-ava , still holding [my]832-ava wrists . ‘[832-ava] Never . ’ [he]2342-matt whispers . The tears in [my]832-ava eyes spill over , splashing the top of [my]832-ava bare knees . ‘[832-ava] Why are [you]1146-you doing this to [me]2342-matt ? ’ [He]2342-matt clenches [my]832-ava jaw , pulling it up so [I]832-ava have no choice but to look at [him]2342-matt . [His]2342-matt eyes are glazed . ‘[832-ava] Doing what ? ’ Oh , the arsehole . [His]2342-matt impudence knows no bounds . [I]832-ava use [my]832-ava free hand to roughly brush the dampness away from [my]832-ava cheeks , suddenly horrified that [I]832-ava am , yet again , crying all over [him]2342-matt . ‘[832-ava] [You]1146-you persistently pursued [me]2342-matt , bombarded [me]2342-matt with calls and texts , fucked [me]2342-matt into oblivion and threw a wobbly when [I]2342-matt re - arranged [our]1147-our meeting . [You]1148-you stormed off four days ago , and [I]2342-matt ’ve not heard from [you]1148-you since ! ’ [I]2342-matt pull [my]2342-matt other hand from [his]2342-matt grasp . ‘[2342-matt] Now , [you]1148-you turn up , trampling all over [my]2342-matt recovery night . ’ [He]2342-matt ’s [the one]2342-matt to look away now , [he]2342-matt ’s ashamed . ‘[1148-you] Watch [your]1148-you mouth . ’ [he]2342-matt murmurs . Watch [my]327-jesse mouth ? After all that , [he]2342-matt tells [me]327-jesse to watch [my]327-jesse mouth ? [He]2342-matt ’s impossible ! ‘[327-jesse] Fuck off , [Jesse]327-jesse . ’ [I]327-jesse spit . [His]327-jesse head snaps up . ‘[327-jesse] Mouth ! ’ [I]327-jesse look at [him]327-jesse in shock , and [he]327-jesse scowls at [me]327-jesse , [his]327-jesse frown line deep on [his]327-jesse forehead . [I]327-jesse ca n’t cope with this . [I]327-jesse ’ve had four days to put [my]327-jesse encounters with [this man down to experience and rebound fucking]2875-this man down to experience and rebound fucking . [I]327-jesse was well on [my]327-jesse way to forgetting [him]327-jesse – kind of . Why is [he]327-jesse here refreshing it all for [me]327-jesse ? [I]327-jesse knew [I]327-jesse should ’ve stayed away . [I]327-jesse could kick [myself]327-jesse . [I]327-jesse stand up in front of [him]327-jesse , leaving [him]327-jesse crouching , but [he]327-jesse reaches up and clasps behind [my]327-jesse bare legs . The fear of [his]327-jesse evocative touch is completely warranted . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] immediately on guard . The heat emanating from [his]1149-he palms is spreading like wild fire through [my]2342-matt blood stream , and there is no way to free [myself]2342-matt from [it]1150-it . [The toilet]440-the toilet is behind [me]2342-matt and [he]1149-he ’s blocking the door . ‘ Let [me]2342-matt go , [Jesse]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt grate , with all the firmness [my]2342-matt quivering vocal cords will allow . [He]1149-he looks up at [me]2342-matt . ‘ No . ’[1149-he] ‘ [You]327-jesse seemed to manage just fine on Tuesday . ’[1149-he] [He]1149-he pushes [himself]1149-he up to [his]1149-he feet , sliding [his]1149-he palms up the backs of [my]2342-matt legs as [he]1149-he does . It sparks a vicious bang between [my]2342-matt legs . ‘ [I]1149-he was mad . ’[1149-he] [he]1149-he says quietly as [he]1149-he looms over [me]2342-matt . ‘ [You]1152-you ’re[1149-he] still mad . Did [you]1152-you know [I]2342-matt would be here ? ’ [I]1149-he ask . [He]1149-he stares down at [me]1149-he , but [he]1149-he does n’t answer . ‘[1149-he] [You]1152-you knew [I]2342-matt would be here , did n’t [you]1152-you ? ’ [I]1914-sam push . ‘[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam . ’ [he]1149-he offers , completely unashamed . ‘[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam ? ’ [His]1149-he face is poker straight . ‘[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam rang [Kate]2557-kate . ’ ‘[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate never said ! ’ [I]2342-matt cry in despair . [The devious cow]2557-kate ! [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [she]2557-kate ’s done this to [me]2342-matt . There will be some seriously strong words exchanged when [I]2342-matt get [my]2342-matt hands on [her]2557-kate . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m going to kiss [you]2342-matt now . ’[2342-matt] It ’s that tone , and [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt ’m doomed . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt ’re lucky , because if [I]2342-matt had [you]2342-matt anywhere else , [you]2342-matt would be getting a reminder ... right ... about ... now . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt gasp as [he]1914-sam takes the one step forward that ’s needed to close the gap between [us]1153-us . With the toilet behind [me]2342-matt , there ’s no retreating space . ‘ [I]1914-sam like [your]2342-matt dress , ’[1914-sam] [he]1914-sam murmurs , stroking [my]2342-matt bare arm with [his]1914-sam finger tip . ‘ It ’s too short , but [I]1914-sam like it . ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam leans down , nuzzling [my]2342-matt neck on a groan . [My]2342-matt knees buckle . Damn [him]1914-sam . And damn [me]2342-matt too . [My]2342-matt eyes close without command , [my]2342-matt head turning into [his]1914-sam hot breath on [my]2342-matt neck , [my]2342-matt willpower scattered to the wind , just like that . It ’s impossible . [He]1914-sam ’s impossible . [I]2342-matt feel [him]1914-sam crouch slightly , [his]1914-sam arm creeping under [my]2342-matt backside , and with one effortless pull , [he]1914-sam straightens [his]1914-sam legs and lifts [me]2342-matt from the floor . [I]2342-matt ’m secure against [his]1914-sam chest and looking down into [his]1914-sam eyes . Game over . In a tiny toilet cubicle , [I]2342-matt ’ve absolutely no hope . ‘[2342-matt] Do [you]1154-you have any idea what [you]1154-you do to [me]2342-matt ? ’ [His]1914-sam husky voice breaks as [he]1914-sam looks up at [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m a fucking mess . ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam ’s a mess ? That ’s rich ! [He]1914-sam releases [his]1914-sam grip on [me]2342-matt slightly , causing [me]2342-matt to slide down [his]1914-sam body until [our]1155-our lips meet . [He]1914-sam swings [me]2342-matt around , pinning [me]2342-matt up against the back of the door . [I]2342-matt do n’t have time to be concerned by [our]1155-our location ; [I]2342-matt ’m too busy searching for the willpower to stop this . [His]1914-sam tongue brushes across the seam of [my]2342-matt closed lips , tempting them open , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] furious with [myself]2342-matt for responding . But [I]2342-matt should know by now … it ’s unavoidable . [I]2342-matt open to [him]1914-sam like [I]2342-matt always do , meeting [his]1914-sam tongue with [mine]2342-matt , clamping [my]2342-matt hands in [his]1914-sam hair . Groaning deep and low in [his]1914-sam throat , [he]1914-sam locks [his]1914-sam free hand around the base of [my]2342-matt neck to hold [me]2342-matt in place as [he]1914-sam pushes [his]1914-sam body further into [mine]2342-matt . [Our]1156-our mouths are fused and [our]1156-our tongues colliding , rolling and stabbing together . This is a possessive , demanding kiss , and [I]2342-matt ’m back to square one . With just one kiss , [I]2342-matt ’ve surrendered . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] weak and desperate . [He]1914-sam breaks away , leaving [me]2342-matt panting and feeling the violent rise of [his]1914-sam chest pressing against [my]2342-matt breast bone . [His]1914-sam forehead meets [mine]2342-matt and [my]2342-matt nostrils are instantly invaded with [his]1914-sam minty breath . ‘ There [she]2876-she is . ’[1914-sam] [he]1914-sam pants surely . ‘ Yes , [you]2342-matt got [me]1914-sam again . ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam smiles slightly , circling [his]1914-sam nose with [mine]2342-matt . ‘ [I]1914-sam missed [you]2342-matt , [baby]2342-matt . ’[1914-sam] ‘ Why did [you]2342-matt go then ? ’[1914-sam] ‘ [I]1914-sam ’ve no idea . ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam plants a lingering kiss on [my]2342-matt lips and lets [me]2342-matt slide down [his]1914-sam body . [I]2342-matt feel the undeniable hard ridge of an arousal as [I]2342-matt slip past [his]1914-sam groin . [He]1914-sam ’s being very reasonable , especially considering [his]1914-sam current hard condition . [I]2342-matt look up at [him]1914-sam , finding a dark smile playing at the corners of [his]1914-sam lips . ‘ [I]1914-sam should force [you]1914-sam to sort this out . ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam places [his]1914-sam hand over [his]1914-sam crotch and [my]2342-matt eyes widen in shock . Fuck , [I]2342-matt probably would as well . [He]1914-sam bashes down all of [my]2342-matt defences and tramples [my]2342-matt rational thinking . [He]1914-sam has a frightening effect on [me]2342-matt . ‘ But [I]1914-sam ’m[1914-sam] not having [you]1157-you on [your]1157-you knees in here . [We]1158-we ’ll make [friends]2512-friends properly later . ’ [I]1158-we ’m[1158-we] not sure if [I]2342-matt ’m disappointed or relieved . [He]1914-sam opens the door , manoeuvring so [I]2342-matt can leave . [I]2342-matt walk out to be immediately confronted by [two wide eyed women]2877-two wide eyed women . [They]2877-two wide eyed women start talking about anything and everything , looking anywhere and everywhere , except at [me]2342-matt . But then [Jesse]327-jesse makes an appearance and [they]2877-two wide eyed women ca n’t hide [their]2877-two wide eyed women blatant interest . [They]2877-two wide eyed women both stand with [their]2877-two wide eyed women lipsticks half way to [their]2877-two wide eyed women lips , gawking in the reflection of the mirror at [the magnificent male who has emerged from the cubicle behind [me]2342-matt]2878-the magnificent male who has emerged from the cubicle behind me . [I]2342-matt turn to [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt need to sort [my]2342-matt face out . [I]2342-matt ’ll see [you]1160-he out there . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]1160-he face is perfect as it is . ’ [he]1160-he reassures [me]2342-matt softly . [I]2342-matt ca n’t help but smile . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt wo n’t be long . ’ With no regard for [the women still gawping at [him]1160-he]2879-the women still gawping at him , [he]1160-he walks over and kisses [my]458-ladies forehead , looking at [the dumbstruck women in the mirror]2880-the dumbstruck women in the mirror . ‘[458-ladies] [Ladies]458-ladies , ’ [He]1160-he nods , [they]458-ladies swoon , and then [he]1160-he ’s gone . [I]458-ladies shuffle over to the mirror to sort [my]458-ladies face out , the silence painful as [I]458-ladies re - apply face powder , eye liner and lipstick . In other words , [I]458-ladies basically re - do [my]458-ladies whole face ; it ’s a tear stained mess . [I]458-ladies do all of this in an uncomfortable silence , as [the two women]606-each other shoot [each other]606-each other questioning glances every so often . When [I]458-ladies ’m[458-ladies] done , [I]2342-matt wash [my]2342-matt hands , smile sweetly and leave , hearing [them]1162-them coo and melt all over [the ladies bathroom]1163-the ladies bathroom . [I]2342-matt escape and find [Jesse]327-jesse waiting for [me]2342-matt outside . [He]327-jesse holds [his]327-jesse hand out on a smile . Of course , [I]2342-matt take it , letting [him]327-jesse lead [me]2342-matt to [the bar]361-the bar . [I]2342-matt scan the dance floor as [he]327-jesse pushes [his]327-jesse way through [the crowd]2809-the crowd , making a clear path by holding [his]327-jesse spare arm out . [I]2342-matt see [Kate]2557-kate , [Tom]60-tom and [Victoria]54-victoria , all still busting [their]1162-them moves . ‘ What do [you]60-tom want to drink ? ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse asks , tucking [me]2342-matt under [his]327-jesse arm and getting [the bar man]1166-the bar man ’s immediate attention . ‘ [Zinfandel]161-zinfandel , please , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt inch closer to [him]1166-the bar man . [I]2342-matt ca n’t get near enough . [He]1166-the bar man gives [me]2342-matt a quick scan over with [his]1166-the bar man enquiring eyes , pursing [his]1166-the bar man lips . ‘ [[Your]60-tom friends]2882-your friends ? ’[1166-the bar man] ‘ Oh , [Kate]2557-kate ’s a wine , vodka and tonic for [Victoria]54-victoria and a pina colada for [Tom]60-tom . ’[1166-the bar man] [His]1166-the bar man eyes widen . ‘ [Tom]60-tom ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile . ‘ [Gayboy]150-gayboy , [you]150-gayboy ’ve met [him]1166-the bar man . ’[2342-matt] Realisation dawns on [his]1166-the bar man handsome face . [He]1166-the bar man shakes [his]1166-the bar man head in dismay , releasing [me]2342-matt and turning back to [the barman]1167-the barman , who ’s waiting patiently for [Jesse]327-jesse to order the drinks . [Kate]2557-kate and [Tom]60-tom approach [us]1168-us , laughing and eyeing [me]2342-matt up . [I]2342-matt flash [Kate]2557-kate a filthy look , but [she]2557-kate just points [her]2557-kate finger at [her]2557-kate own chest in a moi gesture . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse ordered [your]2883-your drinks . ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt inform [them]1168-us , while keeping [my]2342-matt accusing scowl fixed right on [Kate]2557-kate . [She]2557-kate ignores [me]2342-matt . ‘ Oh … [a God]74-a god and [a gentleman]2885-a gentleman , ’[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom gushes , blatantly eyeing up [Jesse]327-jesse ’s arse . [I]2342-matt do n’t blame [him]60-tom ; it is a very attractive jean clad arse . [Jesse]327-jesse presents the drinks to [Kate]2557-kate and [Tom]60-tom , and [I]2342-matt watch in stunned silence as [Kate]2557-kate leans in to give [Jesse]327-jesse a kiss on [his]327-jesse cheek . What is wrong with [that woman]792-that woman ? [I]2342-matt ’m even more shocked when [Jesse]327-jesse smiles brightly at [her]792-that woman before whispering something in [her]792-that woman ear . What ’s going on ? [She]792-that woman turns , winks at [me]2342-matt and leads [Tom]60-tom back to [the dance floor]2859-the dance floor as [Jesse]327-jesse hands [me]2342-matt [my]2342-matt wine , opening a bottle of water for [himself]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse slips [his]327-jesse free arm around [my]2342-matt waist to pull [me]2342-matt close . [I]2342-matt look up at [him]327-jesse questioningly . What was that ? Are [they]2887-they working in cahoots ? ‘[2342-matt] Hey , [[my]2342-matt man]74-a god , ’ [Sam]1914-sam comes barrelling over with [Drew]327-jesse , both taking the beers that [Jesse]327-jesse hands [them]2887-they . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , where ’s the love ? ’ [He]327-jesse leans down so [I]2342-matt can peck [his]327-jesse cheek , flashing [me]2342-matt [his]327-jesse cute dimple as [he]327-jesse does . [He]327-jesse ’s cheeky , sweet and terribly good looking , but given [Victoria]54-victoria ’s revelation , [I]2342-matt need to be wary on [Kate]2557-kate ’s behalf . [Drew]327-jesse holds [his]327-jesse bottle up as [his]327-jesse hello , ever the shrewd , standoffish one . [I]2342-matt smile and lean up to [Jesse]327-jesse ’s ear . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m going to join [the others]2888-the others . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt ’s with [[his]2342-matt mates]2513-his mates and this is supposed to be a girly night out – [Tom]60-tom does n’t count . [He]60-tom turns [his]60-tom face into [my]2342-matt neck and steals a cheeky nuzzle , taking full advantage of [my]2342-matt position . ‘ [I]60-tom ’ll be watching . ’[60-tom] [he]60-tom warns in [my]2342-matt ear , nipping [my]2342-matt lobe and slapping [my]2342-matt backside . The soreness has abated , but there ’s still evidence of [my]2342-matt tumble around in the back of [Margo]1052-margo . [I]2342-matt pull away and pout playfully , earning [me]2342-matt a huge smile and a wink . Is [he]60-tom watching for [possible Cockneys]170-cockneys , or is [he]60-tom watching [me]2342-matt ? Leaving [him]60-tom at [the bar]361-the bar , [I]2342-matt find the others on the dance floor , all happily lapping up the music and drinks . [I]2342-matt laugh at [Tom]60-tom , who ’s in a world of [his]60-tom own , and as [[Justin Timberlake]173-justin timberlake ’s [Lovestoned]174-lovestoned]1173-justin timberlake ’s lovestoned comes through the speakers , [I]2342-matt ’m welcomed to the dance floor with gasps and whoops . In [my]2342-matt semi - drunken state , [I]2342-matt stupidly down [my]2342-matt wine and discard [my]2342-matt glass on the designated drinks ledge . If there was ever a track to pull [me]2342-matt out of [my]2342-matt despair , even if it ’s just for a few moments , it would be this one . The timing is impeccable . All bags are thrown , unceremoniously , into the middle , [Justin]173-justin timberlake shouts “ Hey ” and [the crowd]2809-the crowd is thrown into a delirious frenzy . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] happily enjoying some moves and laughs with [Kate]2557-kate , when [I]2342-matt ’m grabbed by the waist and spun around . [I]60-tom find [Sam]1914-sam grinning at [me]60-tom and nodding over [my]60-tom shoulder . ‘[60-tom] Here [he]60-tom comes . [I]2342-matt hope [you]1174-you ’re ready for this . ’[60-tom] [he]60-tom says . ‘ What ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout over the music . [Sam]1914-sam ’s grin widens , displaying [his]1914-sam dimple at its deepest . ‘ [He]1914-sam thinks [he]1914-sam owns [JT]175-jt . ’[1914-sam] [I]2342-matt have no idea what [he]1914-sam ’s talking about . [He]1914-sam clasps [my]2342-matt shoulders , rotating [me]2342-matt on the floor , and [I]2342-matt spot [Jesse]327-jesse striding towards [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m suddenly worried that [he]1914-sam ’s going to cause a scene and drag [me]2342-matt from the floor . For what , [I]2342-matt do n’t know , but [he]1914-sam ’s famous for flinging [me]2342-matt over [his]1914-sam shoulder as [he]1914-sam pleases . [I]2342-matt watch [him]1914-sam nearing , slowing [my]2342-matt movements down as [I]2342-matt concentrate on [his]1914-sam approach . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not sure what to make of this . [His]1914-sam expression is dark and hungry , and [I]2342-matt ’m completely engrossed by [his]1914-sam tall , lean body getting closer . That bloody gait does serious things to [me]1175-me . By the time [he]1914-sam ’s stood before [me]1175-me , as close as [he]1914-sam can get but without touching [me]1175-me , [I]1175-me ’ve stopped moving completely . [My]1175-me breathing is heavy . [He]1914-sam snakes [his]1914-sam arm around [my]1175-me waist and hauls [me]1175-me up to [his]1914-sam body , prompting [my]1175-me hands to fly up and grasp [his]1914-sam flexing biceps as [he]1914-sam rests [his]1914-sam forehead against [mine]1175-me . ‘[1175-me] [You]1175-me ’re going to get [a lot of men]2890-a lot of men dropped if [you]1175-me keep dancing like that . [You]1175-me like a bit of [JT]175-jt ? ’[1175-me] ‘ Yes . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt breathe . [He]2342-matt smiles that delicious , melt worthy smile , reserved only for [women]348-women . ‘ [Me]2342-matt too , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt drops a kiss on [my]2342-matt lips , then , to [my]2342-matt utter shock , [he]2342-matt grasps [my]2342-matt hand and flings [me]2342-matt out on a spin before yanking [me]2342-matt back into [his]2342-matt arms . [He]2342-matt ’s not going to dance , surely ? ‘ And it ’s the extended version . ’[2342-matt] Is it ? What does that mean ? [I]2342-matt look at [Sam]1914-sam , who rolls [his]2342-matt eyes on a shrug , then back to [Jesse]327-jesse , who has the biggest self - assured smirk on [his]2342-matt face . [He]2342-matt is going to dance . Well , this should be interesting . [I]2342-matt do n’t know if it ’s the fact that [I]2342-matt ’ve drank [my]2342-matt own body weight in wine , or if it ’s [Jesse]327-jesse ’s cock sure demeanour – it ’s probably the former – but whichever , it ’s got [me]2342-matt performing an indecent shimmy down [Jesse]327-jesse ’s body , while [my]2342-matt palms drag , damn right obscenely , from [his]327-jesse chest , all the way down to [his]327-jesse thighs . There [I]2342-matt am , squatting in front of [him]327-jesse with [my]2342-matt palms partly spanning the front of [his]327-jesse magnificent thighs , looking up at [the most handsome man [I]2342-matt ’ve ever laid [my]2342-matt eyes on]1177-the most handsome man i ’ve ever laid my eyes on . [My]2342-matt dress is probably riding up [my]2342-matt bum cheeks in the crudest fashion , but [I]2342-matt ’m oblivious . All of [my]2342-matt attention is on the God like creature staring down at [me]2342-matt , with a filthy , promising look on [his]327-jesse face . [I]2342-matt smile boldly , making a point of smoothing [my]2342-matt palms closer to [his]327-jesse groin area , before slowly pushing [myself]2342-matt up [his]327-jesse body , ensuring maximum contact between [us]2891-us . As [my]2342-matt face passes [his]327-jesse groin , [I]2342-matt run [my]2342-matt nose up the fly of [his]327-jesse jeans , feeling [him]327-jesse shudder and jerk before [he]327-jesse reaches down , grabs [my]2342-matt arms and hauls [me]2342-matt up the rest of the way . [My]2342-matt heart is hammering as [he]327-jesse breathes in [my]2342-matt ear – long , hot , heavy breaths . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt should bend [you]1178-you over here and fuck [you]1178-you until [you]1178-you scream . That dress is absurd . ’ [I]2342-matt do n’t have time to say , yes , please ! [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] spun out , and [I]2342-matt watch as [Jesse]327-jesse makes a mockery of [Mister JT [himself]327-jesse]1179-mister jt himself . [I]2342-matt ’m completely astonished at what ’s unfolding before [me]2342-matt . [Jesse Ward]327-jesse can dance - and dance well . How old is [he]327-jesse ? [He]327-jesse moves around [me]2342-matt , [his]327-jesse rhythm flawless , drawing the attention of [many delighted women]2892-many delighted women . [I]2342-matt snatch quick glances at [the others]2888-the others , all sharing in [Jesse]327-jesse ’s delight , and [I]2342-matt laugh . [I]2342-matt laugh at the sexy , confident , fluid movements that have come as such a pleasant surprise . [This man]327-jesse does n’t only have moves in [the bedroom]535-the bedroom . Does [he]327-jesse do anything badly ? Leaning into [me]2342-matt , [he]327-jesse gives [me]2342-matt a teasing circle of [his]327-jesse hips before [he]327-jesse sends [me]2342-matt on a full three sixty spin under [his]327-jesse arm , pulling [me]2342-matt back into [his]327-jesse chest and thrusting [his]327-jesse hips into [my]2342-matt lower stomach . [His]327-jesse erection is still evident . [I]2342-matt cheekily reach down to stroke [his]327-jesse jean clad crotch , raising [my]2342-matt eyebrows when [he]327-jesse shakes [his]327-jesse head in warning . Clearly , [his]327-jesse boldness is rubbing off on [me]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse proceeds to lower [himself]327-jesse down [my]2342-matt body , grinning as [he]327-jesse clasps [my]2342-matt hips and [I]2342-matt jerk . [I]2342-matt look at [him]327-jesse watching [me]2342-matt as [he]327-jesse drifts down , landing on [his]327-jesse knees in front of [me]2342-matt , and moving [his]327-jesse glorious hips in time to the beat . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] being flung around the dance floor , worshipped and adored . All of [his]327-jesse attention is on [me]2342-matt and [me]2342-matt alone , and nothing or [no one else]1181-no one else exists , just [me]2342-matt and [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt like it . [I]2342-matt love that [he]327-jesse has no misgivings ; [he]327-jesse does n’t care what [anyone]2475-anyone thinks . [He]327-jesse ’s confident , masculine and unashamed . It ’s refreshing , and [I]2342-matt ’m not ignorant to the fact that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] falling . [I]2342-matt ’m falling really hard for [this man]327-jesse . And [I]2342-matt do n’t think there ’s much [I]2342-matt can do about it , especially when [he]327-jesse wo n’t let [me]2342-matt walk away . Do [I]2342-matt even want to ? [I]2342-matt glance at [the others]2888-the others , to see [Sam]1914-sam flinging [Kate]2557-kate around the floor – [I]2342-matt ’ll deal with that conniving cow later – and [Drew]327-jesse is homing in on [Victoria]54-victoria . [Drew]327-jesse , in all [his]327-jesse smart finery , seems a bit too up [his]327-jesse own backside for sassy – sometimes a bit dense – [Victoria]54-victoria , but drink has clearly loosened [him]327-jesse up because [he]327-jesse ’s laughing and the suit jacket ’s been removed . [Tom]60-tom is just being [Tom]60-tom , throwing [himself]60-tom around like a deranged maniac . [I]2342-matt turn [my]2342-matt attention back to [Jesse]327-jesse when [he]327-jesse grasps [my]2342-matt hips . [He]327-jesse plants a long languid kiss on [my]2342-matt stomach , gazing straight into [my]2342-matt eyes before springing to [his]327-jesse feet in front of [me]2342-matt and dropping [his]327-jesse lips to [mine]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt wrap [my]2342-matt arms around [his]327-jesse neck , sighing into [his]327-jesse mouth . ‘[2342-matt] It seems [I]2342-matt have competition , ’ [he]327-jesse mumbles against [my]2342-matt lips . ‘[2342-matt] No , [you]2342-matt win . ’ [He]327-jesse pulls back , hitting [me]2342-matt with [his]327-jesse roguish grin . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve won all right , [lady]2342-matt . ’ [He]327-jesse releases [me]2342-matt and [I]2342-matt toss [my]2342-matt hair over [my]2342-matt shoulder , letting [him]327-jesse take [me]2342-matt on the floor . [We]2896-we move in complete harmony together . It ’s perfect . [He]327-jesse ’s perfect . [I]2342-matt ca n’t even remember why [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] mad - am [I]2342-matt mad ? But then the energetic beat slows down , drifting into the smooth , powerful drones of violins and a slow intense beat . [I]2342-matt ’m short of breath and swathed in [Jesse]327-jesse ’s body . [He]327-jesse thrusts [his]327-jesse thigh between [my]2342-matt legs and sways [us]2896-we both to the echoes of the extended piece . [I]2342-matt look up at [his]327-jesse beautiful face as [he]327-jesse sings to [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt have a frightening moment of pure lucidity . [I]2342-matt ’ve already fallen . Holy shit , [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt love [this man]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse has a flashing , neon sign the size of [London]5-london on [his]327-jesse forehead , saying , [RUN]176-run . But [I]2342-matt ca n’t . [He]327-jesse wo n’t let [me]2342-matt , for a start . Besides , [I]2342-matt do n’t think [I]2342-matt want to . [He]327-jesse disappeared for four days but [he]327-jesse ’s back , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] really glad . [Good Lord]462-good lord , with a stomach full of wine , this is not the time to be contemplating such complex and risky issues . [I]2342-matt feel like [I]2342-matt ’m navigating very dangerous waters here . [I]2342-matt know nothing about [this man]327-jesse . Well , apart from [his]327-jesse extreme wealth , extreme intensiveness and the fact that [he]327-jesse owns [a massively plush hotel]2897-a massively plush hotel , but other than that … nothing . [I]2342-matt do n’t even know how old [he]327-jesse is . But despite [my]2342-matt lack of knowledge , [he]327-jesse ’s completely taken [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt lean up and place [my]2342-matt lips on [his]327-jesse , and within a few seconds , when [he]327-jesse ’s moaned into [my]2342-matt mouth and tightened [his]327-jesse grip on [me]2342-matt , [we]1185-our ’re[2342-matt] entwined in a deep , passionate embrace . Oh dear , [he]1184-he ’s trampled into [my]2342-matt life and stole [my]2342-matt heart , and there is nothing [I]2342-matt can do about it . The music starts to fade out , drifting into another track , and [I]2342-matt start leaning back in [his]1184-he arms . [He]1184-he bends with [me]2342-matt , supporting [my]2342-matt back and refusing to break the contact of [our]1185-our lips . Moaning disapprovingly , [he]1184-he reluctantly releases [me]2342-matt but keeps [me]2342-matt suspended in [his]1184-he arms . It ’s not uncomfortable ; [he]1184-he ’s holding all of [my]2342-matt weight , like [I]2342-matt ’m no more than a feather . [His]1184-he sludgy green eyes twinkle as [they]2898-they penetrate [my]832-ava heart and soul , and [he]1184-he lowers [his]1184-he face to [mine]832-ava so [our]1185-our lips brush lightly . ‘[832-ava] [You]832-ava ’ve got [me]2342-matt , [baby]832-ava . ’ Well … that statement is just playing havoc with [my]832-ava drunken mind . Chapter 19 [I]832-ava make [my]832-ava way from the dance floor with [Jesse]327-jesse ’s palm placed in the small of [my]832-ava back , guiding [me]832-ava as [he]327-jesse moves [people]372-people out of the way with [his]327-jesse spare arm . [He]327-jesse leads [me]832-ava over to a tall table , but all the stools have been claimed elsewhere . ‘[832-ava] Wait here , ’ [He]327-jesse positions [me]832-ava by the table and wraps [his]327-jesse palm around [my]832-ava neck , pulling [me]832-ava in and planting a kiss [my]832-ava forehead . ‘[832-ava] Do n’t move , ’ [I]327-jesse dump [my]327-jesse clutch on the table , watching [him]327-jesse as [he]327-jesse disappears into [the crowd]2809-the crowd . [I]327-jesse do n’t have much time with [my]327-jesse thoughts – it ’s probably a good thing because [I]327-jesse have no idea what to make of [them]2809-the crowd – [Kate]2557-kate and [the others]2888-the others come crashing through [the crowd]2809-the crowd , laughing and sweating , with [Sam]1914-sam and [Drew]327-jesse in tow . [Sam]1914-sam eyes [me]327-jesse on [my]327-jesse own . ‘[327-jesse] Where ’s [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’ [I]327-jesse frown . ‘[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt do n’t know . ’ [I]327-jesse point in the direction that [Jesse]327-jesse left in , just as [he]327-jesse reappears back through the mass of [people]372-people carrying a bar stool over [his]327-jesse head . [He]327-jesse places it down on the ground . ‘[327-jesse] Sit . ’ [he]327-jesse commands , lifting [me]327-jesse onto the stool . It ’s a relief , [my]327-jesse feet are killing [me]327-jesse . ‘[327-jesse] Drinks ? ’ [he]327-jesse asks . [Everyone]282-everyone nods , throwing [their]282-everyone orders [his]327-jesse way , leaving [him]327-jesse looking slightly harassed as [he]327-jesse leans in to listen to what [everyone]282-everyone wants . [Sam]1914-sam steps up to the plate . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll give [you]2342-matt a hand . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Yeah , [I]2342-matt ’m coming . ’[327-jesse] [Drew]327-jesse follows [Jesse]327-jesse and [Sam]1914-sam to [the bar]361-the bar , leaving the three remaining pairs of eyes on [me]2342-matt . ‘ What ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [I]2342-matt know what . [My]2342-matt head is suddenly swimming in wine . [Kate]2557-kate arches a well plucked eyebrow at [me]2342-matt , folding [her]2557-kate arms over [her]2557-kate chest . [She]2557-kate can get lost . It ’s [her]2557-kate fault [he]1188-he ’s here . ‘ Looking a bit cosy . ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate fires . [Tom]60-tom strokes the oversized lapels of [his]60-tom coral shirt . ‘ [Cosy]178-cosy ? No , no , no . That was n't cosy . That was guaranteed hot sex tonight , [darling]2557-kate ! ’[60-tom] [He]60-tom raises both hands , and [Kate]2557-kate and [Victoria]54-victoria comply , slapping a hand each in unison . [I]2342-matt scowl at [Kate]2557-kate . ‘ [Me]2342-matt and [you]2342-matt , later . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt threaten . [She]2557-kate inhales sharply . ‘ Oh , feisty ! [I]2557-kate love everything [this man]327-jesse brings out in [you]2342-matt . ’[2557-kate] Yes , [she]2557-kate ’s made it perfectly obvious that [she]2557-kate loves [this man]327-jesse , and [I]2342-matt want to know what was going on in that little exchange . ‘ Did [you]2342-matt see [him]60-tom move ? ’[54-victoria] [Victoria]54-victoria pipes up . ‘ [He]60-tom were n’t bad . ’[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom pouts . Oh dear , [someone]587-someone ’s stolen [Tom]60-tom ’s dance floor thunder . [Jesse]327-jesse may well have made [a lifelong enemy]1191-a lifelong enemy . ‘ So – ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m firing this right back at [Kate]2557-kate . ‘[2342-matt] Talking of cosy ? ’ [I]2342-matt nod at [Sam]1914-sam as [he]1914-sam walks back through [the crowd]2809-the crowd , balancing three drinks between [his]1914-sam hands . ‘[2342-matt] A bit of fun . ’ [she]2557-kate shrugs . [God]68-god , [I]1192-i hope so . Do [I]1192-i tell [her]2557-kate what [Victoria]54-victoria saw ? ‘[1192-i] And [you]1192-i ? ’ [I]2342-matt look at [Victoria]54-victoria . [She]2557-kate looks shocked . ‘[2342-matt] [Me]2342-matt ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Yes , [I]2342-matt saw [you]1192-i shaking [your]1192-i thing at [Drew]327-jesse . ’ [Tom]60-tom throws [his]60-tom hands up in the air in exasperation . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m a huffing raspberry ! [I]2342-matt want to go to [Route Sixty]26-route sixty , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt turns to [Victoria]54-victoria . ‘ [Darling]78-darling , please ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ No ! ’[54-victoria] [she]54-victoria exclaims , and [I]2342-matt do n’t blame [her]54-victoria . It makes a change for [Victoria]54-victoria to be having the male attention , possibly the action too . [Sam]1914-sam plants the drinks on the table and [Drew]327-jesse follows suit , brushing suspiciously close to [Victoria]54-victoria . [She]54-victoria giggles , fluffing [her]54-victoria hair . [She]54-victoria needs to lay off the fake tan . [Sam]1914-sam grins . ‘ Wine for [Kate]2557-kate , ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam bows as [he]1914-sam hands [her]54-victoria the glass . ‘ Vodka for [Victoria]54-victoria and [I]1914-sam ’ve no idea what this is , but it looks camp , so it must be [yours]2904-yours . ’[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam hands [Tom]60-tom a pina colada on a wink . [Tom]60-tom blushes a bright shade of red and flops a limp wrist at [Sam]1914-sam . [I]2342-matt do n’t believe it . For the first time in [his]60-tom life , [Tom]60-tom is rendered shy . Oh , this is too good an opportunity to miss . ‘ [Tom]60-tom , [your]60-tom face is clashing with [your]60-tom shirt ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt splutter , through a helpless fit of laughter . [Everyone]282-everyone turns to stare at [Tom]60-tom , only serving to intensify [his]60-tom blush and , subsequently , [his]60-tom mortification . An eruption of howling laughter breaks out , prompting [Tom]60-tom to huff a few times and storm off . ‘ What ’s so funny ? ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse asks when [he]60-tom reaches [us]1193-my , placing [my]2342-matt wine and a bottle of water on the table . [I]2342-matt ca n’t talk . [I]2342-matt ’m still recovering from [my]1193-my fits of giggles . [I]1193-my wipe [my]1193-my eyes . ‘[1193-my] [We]1193-my ’ve just found [Tom]60-tom ’s Achilles heel . ’ [Kate]2557-kate volunteers when [she]2557-kate sees [I]60-tom ’m[60-tom] no closer to composure . [Jesse]327-jesse looks perplexed as [he]327-jesse looks around at the recovering hyenas that [he]327-jesse ’s returned to . [I]2342-matt see [Sam]1914-sam shrug , swigging [his]1914-sam beer . ‘ [Sam]1914-sam . ’[1914-sam] [I]2342-matt offer , through [my]2342-matt abating giggles . ‘ [Sam]1914-sam ? ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse frowns . [Victoria]54-victoria jumps in . ‘ [Tom]60-tom fancies [Sam]1914-sam ! ’[54-victoria] [she]54-victoria cries cheerfully . [Jesse]327-jesse shakes [his]327-jesse head and reaches for [his]327-jesse water , undoing the screw cap and taking a swig . ‘ Here , have some . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse trusts the bottle under [my]2342-matt nose . ‘ No , ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt screw [my]2342-matt face up , pushing it away . ‘ Have some water , [Ava]832-ava . [You]832-ava ’ll thank [me]2342-matt in the morning . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]327-jesse do n’t want any water . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse scowls at [me]2342-matt , thrusting the water in [my]2342-matt face again . ‘ Have it ! ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse growls . [I]2342-matt glance around , seeing [everyone]282-everyone looking at [our]1195-our little exchange . [I]2342-matt ’m definitely not having it now . [I]2342-matt shove [his]327-jesse outstretched arm away from [my]2342-matt face and pick up [my]2342-matt wine , raising [my]2342-matt glass to [him]327-jesse before taking a swig . Actually , [I]2342-matt down [the lot]2905-the lot . [I]2342-matt make a point of placing [my]2342-matt glass down precisely before [I]2342-matt look up at [Jesse]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse ’s proper brooding , [his]327-jesse lips pressed into a straight line as [he]327-jesse shakes [his]327-jesse head at [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] No . ’ [I]2342-matt state firmly , enhancing [my]2342-matt point . [He]327-jesse ’s already trampled on [my]2342-matt recovery night . [He]327-jesse ’s not dictating what [I]2342-matt drink too . ‘[2342-matt] There goes [your]1196-your action tonight . ’ [Sam]1914-sam smirks and [Kate]2557-kate bursts into fits of laughter . ‘[1914-sam] Fuck off , [Sam]1914-sam . ’ [Jesse]327-jesse warns , in a rather deadly tone . [He]327-jesse ’s not happy , but [I]1914-sam ’m[1914-sam] drunk and rebellious , so [I]2342-matt do n’t care . [Sam]1914-sam raises [his]1914-sam hands , backing off immediately . At the same time , [Kate]2557-kate clenches [her]2557-kate lips shut to suppress [her]2557-kate laughter , giving [me]2342-matt the eyes . [I]2342-matt shrug . [I]2342-matt wonder if [she]2557-kate likes demanding , commanding [Jesse]327-jesse as much as [she]2557-kate likes [white knight [Jesse]327-jesse]1197-white knight jesse . [Drew]327-jesse and [Victoria]54-victoria move off to the side , out of every ones ear shot , after a little nod from [Drew]327-jesse . Usually confident and a little standoffish , [Drew]327-jesse looks a little shy as [Victoria]54-victoria chats buoyantly to [him]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse takes [his]327-jesse phone from [his]327-jesse pocket , punching in digits as [Victoria]54-victoria reels them off , holding it up for [her]2557-kate to check when [he]327-jesse ’s done . That is not the actions of [a man not prepared to call]1198-a man not prepared to call . This is interesting . [I]2342-matt ’m vaguely aware of conversation going on around [me]65-ha , but [my]65-ha head is suddenly very foggy . That was the last drink [you]2906-you should never have had . And all just to prove a childish point . [Jesse]327-jesse ’s right , damn [him]327-jesse . [I]65-ha will regret it in the morning . The voices begin to muffle and double vision sets in . Yep , mission accomplished … [I’m]65-ha plastered ! [I]65-ha feel [Jesse]327-jesse ’s hand at the base of [my]65-ha neck , massaging [me]65-ha over [my]65-ha hair as [he]327-jesse chats to [Sam]1914-sam . [I]65-ha close [my]65-ha eyes , absorbing [his]327-jesse firm touch as [he]327-jesse works [my]65-ha muscles . It feels so nice . [I]65-ha might fall asleep if [he]327-jesse keeps it up . When [I]65-ha open [my]65-ha eyes , [Jesse]327-jesse isJesse leaning down , looking into [my]65-ha drunken eyes and shaking [his]327-jesse head . ‘[65-ha] Come on , [lady]65-ha . [I]2342-matt ’m taking [you]65-ha [home]281-home . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt throw a disorientated arm at [him]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] fine . ’ [He]2342-matt ’s not ruining [my]2342-matt recovery night . [I]2342-matt hear [Kate]2557-kate and [Jesse]327-jesse exchange a few words , and then [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] hoist up from the stool to [my]2342-matt feet . ‘ Can [you]65-ha stand ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks . ‘ Of course , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not that drunk . ’ [I]2342-matt am . And it would seem [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] argumentative too . [I]2342-matt ’m presented to [everyone]282-everyone in turn , all of [them]282-everyone planting a kiss on [my]2342-matt cheek , while [Jesse]327-jesse props [me]2342-matt up . How pathetic . Once [he]2342-matt ’s ensured [I]2342-matt ’ve said all of [my]2342-matt goodbyes , [he]2342-matt guides [me]2342-matt out of [the bar]361-the bar . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] ashamed to admit it , but if [Jesse]327-jesse ’s arm was n’t wrapped around [my]2342-matt waist holding [me]2342-matt up , [I]2342-matt would be flat on [my]2342-matt face . The fresh air hits [me]2342-matt , causing [me]2342-matt to stagger slightly , but [I]2342-matt ’m swiftly scooped up from [the pavement]2745-the pavement , feeling the familiar comfort of [Jesse]327-jesse ’s chest against [my]578-my dad cheek as [he]578-my dad carries [me]578-my dad to [[his]578-my dad car]2476-his car . ‘[578-my dad] [You]578-my dad ’re not going to throw up on [me]578-my dad , are [you]578-my dad ? ’[578-my dad] [he]578-my dad asks . ‘ No . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scoff . ‘ Are [you]578-my dad sure ? ’[578-my dad] [He]578-my dad laughs , and [I]2342-matt feel the vibrations from [his]578-my dad chest pass through [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]578-my dad ’m[578-my dad] fine . ’ [I]578-my dad garble against [his]578-my dad shirt . [He]578-my dad sounds like [[my]578-my dad Dad]578-my dad . Is [he]578-my dad old enough to be [[my]578-my dad Dad]578-my dad ? No , there ’s not [a father on [the planet]2913-the planet that dances like [Jesse]327-jesse or fucks like [Jesse]327-jesse]2912-a father on the planet that dances like jesse or fucks like jesse . Oh , [my]578-my dad drunken thoughts are filthy ! ‘[578-my dad] Okay , a few seconds warning would be nice , though . [I]2342-matt ’m putting [you]578-my dad in [[my]2342-matt car]2476-his car now . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not going to throw up . ’ [I]1201-you insist . [I]1201-you feel [myself]1201-you being lowered into [[his]578-my dad car]2476-his car and the sensation of cold leather on the back on [my]1201-you legs as [I]1201-you come to rest in the seat . [He]578-my dad leans in over [me]1201-you and fastens [my]1201-you seat belt , [his]578-my dad fresh water smell and minty breath invading [my]1201-you nostrils . [I]1201-you recognise it , even in [my]1201-you inebriated state . As [he]578-my dad pulls back , hovering in [my]1201-you line of sight , there are [two of [him]578-my dad]2915-two of him . [I]1201-you try to focus , eventually homing in on a huge smile . ‘[1201-you] [You]1201-you ’re adorable , even when [you]1201-you ’re[1201-you] legless , ’ [He]578-my dad leans in , giving [me]1201-you a chaste kiss on [my]1201-you lips . ‘[1201-you] [You]1201-you ’re coming [home]281-home with [me]1201-you . ’[1201-you] It would seem that all functions have ceased , except for the drunken , argumentative part of [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]1201-you ’m[1201-you] not coming to [yours]1201-you . ’ [I]1201-you slur . ‘[1201-you] Yes , [you]1201-you are . ’ [he]578-my dad asserts . [I]2342-matt still recognise [his]578-my dad stern tone , even in [my]2342-matt drunken stupor . Not that [I]2342-matt ’ll take much notice of it , though . The passenger door shuts firmly and [he]578-my dad ’s soon behind the wheel . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not , [you]1201-you can take [me]2342-matt [home]281-home . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Forget it , [Ava]832-ava . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not leaving [you]1201-you in this state on [your]1201-you own . End of . ’ ‘[1201-you] [You]1201-you ’re bossy , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt complain . ‘ [I]2342-matt want to go [home]281-home . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt actually do n’t know what [I]2342-matt want to do . Does it matter where [I]2342-matt sleep tonight ? No , it does n’t , but [my]2342-matt drunken need to remain defiant is hijacking any reasonableness that ’s left in [my]2342-matt wine drenched brain . [I]2342-matt want to go [home]281-home and that ’s it ! [He]1203-he laughs . ‘ Get use to it . ’[1203-he] ‘ No ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt flop [my]2342-matt head back on the head rest and close [my]2342-matt eyes . [I]2342-matt understood that statement enough to challenge it . [I]2342-matt ’m surprised [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] still coherent . ‘ [You]1201-you ’re[1201-you] adorable , but [you]1201-you ’re also a pain in the arse when [you]1201-you ’re[1201-you] drunk . ’ [he]1203-he grumbles . ‘[1201-you] Good . ’ [I]327-jesse say haughtily . [He]1203-he starts [the car]548-the car and the vibrations from the engine instantly play havoc with [my]327-jesse wine filled stomach . [I]327-jesse hear [him]1203-he laugh to [himself]1203-he . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’ ‘[832-ava] Yes , [Ava]832-ava ? ’ ‘[832-ava] How old are [you]327-jesse ? ’ What a ridiculous question . Even if [he]1203-he did relent on this obsession with keeping [his]1203-he age a classified , [I]832-ava would n’t remember in the morning . [He]1203-he sighs . ‘[832-ava] Twenty five , ’ [I]832-ava really am very drunk and [car]846-car spin is beginning to set in , even though [my]832-ava eyes are closed . ‘[832-ava] It does n’t matter how old [you]1201-you are . ’ [I]832-ava mumble . ‘[832-ava] It does n’t ? ’ ‘[832-ava] No , it does n’t . Nothing matters – [I]2342-matt still love [you]1201-you . ’ [I]2342-matt hear a sharp intake of breath before [I]2342-matt pass out . Chapter 20 Ouch ! [I]2342-matt squint at the bombardment of light that ’s hammering at [my]2342-matt sensitive eyes and snap them shut again . Oh , that hurts . Shuffling onto [my]2342-matt side , [I]2342-matt immediately realise that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not in [my]2342-matt own bed . [My]2342-matt eyes fly open , and [I]2342-matt sit up . Oh , ouch ! [My]2342-matt hands grip [my]2342-matt head to try and ease the pain . It does n’t work . Short of shooting [my]2342-matt brain out , nothing is going to alleviate the thumping . This is a non - curable hangover . [I]2342-matt know it . [I]2342-matt gaze around [the room]2350-the room , recognising [my]2342-matt surroundings immediately . [I]2342-matt ’m in [the master suite of [Lusso]66-lusso]2920-the master suite of lusso . Okay , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] at a total loss at how [I]2342-matt come to be [here]314-here . [I]2342-matt ’ve never been so drunk that [my]2342-matt memory has failed [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt try retracing [my]2342-matt night , instantly remembering [Jesse]327-jesse roughing up [poor Cockney]169-cockney . Then [I]2342-matt remember dancing . [I]2342-matt also remember arguing with [Jesse]327-jesse in [the toilets]2363-the toilets . And then [I]2342-matt remember dancing again . Oh , and [I]2342-matt remember [Tom]60-tom having a hissy fit , but then … nothing . [I]2342-matt would ask [myself]2342-matt how [I]2342-matt come to be [here]314-here , but [I]2342-matt really do n’t need to ask that question if [Jesse]327-jesse was in [the bar]361-the bar . [I]2342-matt grasp the bedding , lifting the sheets to look under the covers . Well , [I]2342-matt have [my]2342-matt bra and pants on , so [I]2342-matt ca n’t imagine any [Jesse]327-jesse style fucking went down . [I]2342-matt smile to [myself]2342-matt . Oh Lord , [I]2342-matt need a toothbrush and some water , pronto . [I]2342-matt gingerly push [myself]2342-matt up , untangling [myself]2342-matt from the bedding as [I]2342-matt go , reveling in the waft of [Jesse]327-jesse ’s scent as it hits [my]2342-matt nostrils . Every slight movement crashes into [my]2342-matt poor head . When [I]2342-matt ’m on [my]2342-matt feet , stood in just [my]2342-matt underwear , [I]2342-matt stagger . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] still drunk . ‘ And how is [[my]2342-matt lady]2921-my lady lush this morning ? ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt voice is smug . Why did n’t [he]2342-matt stop [me]2342-matt drinking ? [He]2342-matt saunters over to [me]2342-matt , looking too fucking delicious in [his]2342-matt tight , white boxer shorts and with [his]2342-matt morning messy hair . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt probably look awful , with [my]2342-matt loose hair and crusty make - up . ‘ Terrible . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt confess moodily . Was that [me]2342-matt speaking ? [I]2342-matt ’m throaty . [I]2342-matt hear [him]2342-matt chuckle to [himself]2342-matt . If [I]2342-matt could coordinate [my]2342-matt movements , [I]2342-matt would swing at [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt feel [his]2342-matt arms wrap around [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] thankful for the support . [I]2342-matt bury [my]2342-matt head in [his]2342-matt chest and could , quite easily , drift back off to sleep . ‘ Do [you]2342-matt want some breakfast ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks , stroking [my]2342-matt hair . Even [his]2342-matt soft rubs against [my]2342-matt skull are unbearably loud , and [I]2342-matt nearly vomit at the thought of food . [He]2342-matt must feel [my]2342-matt dry heaves and body jerks because [he]2342-matt laughs again . ‘ Just some water then ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Please . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mumble into [his]2342-matt chest . ‘ Come here . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt scoops [me]2342-matt up and carries [me]2342-matt [downstairs]2323-downstairs to [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , placing [me]2342-matt on the worktop gently . ‘ Oh ! ’[2342-matt] Shit , that ’s cold ! [He]2342-matt laughs , easing [his]2342-matt grip away slowly , like [he]2342-matt ’s afraid [I]2342-matt might fall off . [I]2342-matt might do , [I]2342-matt feel [God]68-god awful . [I]2342-matt grab the edge of [the worktop]2614-the worktop to steady [myself]2342-matt and watch , through half open eyes , as [Jesse]327-jesse opens almost every cupboard in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen before [he]2342-matt finds the one with the glasses in . ‘ [You]2922-you do n’t know where [you]2922-you keep [your]2922-you own glasses ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt rummages through a drawer , pulling out a white sachet . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] learning . [[My]2342-matt housekeeper]887-my housekeeper tried to tell [me]2342-matt , but [I]2342-matt was a little distracted . ’ [He]2342-matt rips the sachet open and tips it into a glass . The muscles of [his]2342-matt back roll as [he]2342-matt gets a bottle of water from the fridge , filling the glass quickly , before walking back over to [me]179-alka - seltzer . ‘[179-alka - seltzer] [Alka - Seltzer]179-alka - seltzer . It ’ll sort [you]1212-you out within half an hour . Drink , ’ [I]179-alka - seltzer reach to take it from [him]2342-matt , but [my]179-alka - seltzer arms wo n’t liaise with [my]179-alka - seltzer brain . Without a word , [he]2342-matt moves between [my]179-alka - seltzer thighs and lifts the glass to [my]179-alka - seltzer lips for [me]179-alka - seltzer . [I]179-alka - seltzer guzzle the lot . ‘[179-alka - seltzer] More ? ’ [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m never drinking again . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mumble , falling forward onto [his]2342-matt chest . ‘ That would please [me]2342-matt so much . [You]1212-you ’re[2342-matt] very argumentative when [you]1212-you ’re drunk . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt strokes [my]2342-matt back . ‘ [I]2342-matt am ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t remember . ‘ Yes , promise [me]2342-matt [you]1212-you wo n’t get in that state when [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not around to look after [you]1212-you . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Did [we]1213-we argue ? ’ [I]1213-we ask . [I]1213-we remember the toilet dispute , but [we]1213-we were [friends]2512-friends after that . [He]2342-matt sighs . ‘[1213-we] No , [I]2342-matt submitted power temporarily . ’ ‘[2342-matt] That must have been a challenge . ’ [I]2342-matt reply dryly . [He]2342-matt reaches up , snapping [my]2342-matt bra strap . ‘[2342-matt] It was , but [you]1212-you ’re worth the effort . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt turns [his]2342-matt face into [me]2342-matt , kissing [my]2342-matt hair before pulling back and focusing [his]2342-matt stare on [my]2342-matt semi - naked state . ‘ [I]2342-matt love [you]1212-you in lace . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says softly , tracing the top of [my]2342-matt knickers . ‘ Shower ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt nod against [his]2342-matt shoulder , wrapping [my]2342-matt arms and legs around [him]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt slides [me]2342-matt from the counter . [I]2342-matt ’m carried back through [the penthouse]2382-the bathroom , [upstairs]2469-upstairs into [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom and put on [my]2342-matt feet outside the shower . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] left briefly as [he]2342-matt turns the shower on . [I]2342-matt feel wobbly . As soon as [he]2342-matt ’s in front of [me]2342-matt again , [I]2342-matt flop forward onto [his]2342-matt chest . ‘ [You]2342-matt are feeling sorry for [yourself]2342-matt , are n’t [you]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt picks [me]2342-matt up and places [me]2342-matt on the vanity unit . ‘ [I]2342-matt have fond memories of [you]2342-matt sat exactly here . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt frown to [myself]2342-matt , but then realise … [our]1214-our first sexual encounter happened in here on the launch night of [Lusso]66-lusso . [I]2342-matt look up into hazy , green eyes staring down at [me]2342-matt . ‘ [You]2342-matt finally got [me]2342-matt where [you]2342-matt wanted [me]2342-matt , did n’t [you]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt cups [his]2342-matt hand on [my]2342-matt cheek . ‘ It was always going to happen , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt grabs [his]2342-matt toothbrush , squirts some toothpaste on and runs it under the tap . ‘ Open . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt orders . [He]2342-matt sets about brushing [my]2342-matt teeth gently , holding [my]2342-matt jaw in [his]2342-matt free hand . [I]2342-matt watch [him]2342-matt concentrate on [his]2342-matt small , circling movements around [my]2342-matt mouth as [my]2342-matt dance floor revelation comes back to [me]2342-matt – the moment that [I]2342-matt finally admitted to [myself]2342-matt that [I]2342-matt have , most definitely , fallen in love with [this man]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt was n’t so drunk when that little realisation crashed into [my]2342-matt wine drenched brain . [My]2342-matt aim to avoid exactly this has been well and truly trampled . [I]2342-matt ’ve fallen in love with this arrogant , forceful , God like creature . [Bollocks]180-bollocks ! [I]2342-matt reach up to cup [his]2342-matt stubbled cheek in [my]2342-matt hand , and [his]2342-matt eyes jump to [mine]2342-matt , [his]2342-matt lips parted ever so slightly . [He]2342-matt stops brushing and turns [his]2342-matt face into [my]2342-matt palm , kissing it tenderly . Yep , [I]2342-matt love [him]2342-matt . Oh God , what am [I]2342-matt going to do ? ‘ Spit . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says quietly against [my]2342-matt hand . [I]2342-matt drop [my]2342-matt hand from [his]2342-matt face and lean over the sink to rid [my]2342-matt mouth of toothpaste before returning to face [him]2342-matt . Running [his]2342-matt thumb across [my]2342-matt lip , [he]2342-matt collects some stray paste and slides [his]2342-matt thumb in [his]2342-matt mouth to clean off what [he]2342-matt ’s swept up . ‘ Thank [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt utter through [my]2342-matt cracked voice . The corner of [his]2342-matt mouth cocks into a half smile . ‘ It ’s just as much for [my]2342-matt benefit as it is for [yours]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt smiles , leaning in and kissing [me]2342-matt soft and slow on the lips , [his]2342-matt tongue sweeping through [my]2342-matt mouth tenderly . [I]2342-matt sag on a sigh . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] rubbish at hangovers . Is there anything [I]2342-matt can do to make it better ? ’ [He]2342-matt pulls [me]2342-matt off of [the unit]2926-the unit , so [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] stood before [him]2342-matt , and reaches around to clinch [my]2342-matt bum , effectively holding [me]2342-matt up . ‘ Have [you]2342-matt got a gun ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask [him]2342-matt seriously . That would cure [my]2342-matt pounding head . [He]2342-matt laughs a proper belly laugh . ‘ That bad , huh ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , why is it so funny ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ It ’s not , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sorry . ’ [He]2342-matt straightens [his]2342-matt face and runs [his]2342-matt middle finger down the side of [my]2342-matt cheek . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m going to make it all better now . ’[2342-matt] Oh ? Alcohol , quite clearly , has not killed off [my]2342-matt libido because every dehydrated nerve ending has just sprung to life . [I]2342-matt must look hideous , and [he]2342-matt ’s getting all fresh with [me]2342-matt ? [We]1215-we ’re not on even ground here . [He]2342-matt ’s fierce and [God]68-god damn delectable in [his]2342-matt morning roguishness , smelling all musky , mixed with fresh water . [I]1216-his , on the other hand , have a hangover from Hell and must resemble something like a scarecrow , but [he]2342-matt does n’t seem to be bothered . [He]2342-matt reaches around [my]1216-his back , unclasps [my]1216-his bra and removes it before leaning down and giving each one of [my]1216-his nipples a quick peck . [They]2927-they harden instantly under the brief contact from [his]2342-matt lips , [my]1216-his breasts becoming heavy burdens on [my]1216-his chest . [My]1216-his body has been completely distracted from the after affects of alcohol and is now buzzing all over in anticipation of [his]2342-matt touch . As [his]2342-matt head raises and [his]2342-matt lips find [mine]1216-his , [my]1216-his hands slide up [his]2342-matt arms and delve into [his]2342-matt soft , blonde mass of hair . Oh God [I]1216-his ’ve missed this . It ’s only been four days , but [I]1216-his ’ve missed it so much , it frightens [me]1216-his . ‘[1216-his] [You]1216-his ’re addictive , ’[1216-his] [he]1216-his breathes against [my]2342-matt mouth . ‘ [We]1218-we ’re[1216-his] going to make [friends]2512-friends properly now . ’ ‘[2512-friends] Are [we]1218-we not [friends]2512-friends ? ’ [I]832-ava ask . [My]832-ava voice is breathy and desperate . ‘[832-ava] Not properly , but [we]1218-we will be soon , [baby]832-ava . ’ A wave of tremors fly through [me]832-ava as [he]1216-his kisses [my]832-ava nose gently and drops to [his]1216-his knees in front of [me]832-ava , spanning [my]832-ava hips with [his]1216-his big palms , hooking [his]1216-his thumbs into the top of [my]832-ava knickers . [I]832-ava tense and wait , but [he]1216-his makes no attempt to remove them . [I]832-ava look down at [him]1216-his and watch [him]1216-his kneeling there , [his]1216-his forehead resting on [my]832-ava stomach , as [I]832-ava weave [my]832-ava fingers through [his]1216-his dark blonde hair . [We]2928-we remain like that for an eternity , trapped in [our]2928-we own little dream state , just [me]832-ava watching [him]1216-his as [he]1216-his rolls [his]1216-his forehead across [my]832-ava tummy , back and forth . [He]1216-his eventually takes a deep breath and leans in , placing [his]1216-his lips below [my]832-ava bellybutton and letting them linger there for a few seconds before slowly dragging [my]832-ava knickers down [my]832-ava legs . [He]1216-his taps [my]832-ava ankle – a wordless instruction to lift – and repeats the same on [my]832-ava other foot . [I]832-ava look down at [him]1216-his knelt before [me]832-ava , [his]1216-his head lowered , and [I]832-ava know something ’s playing on [his]1216-his mind . [I]832-ava tug on [his]1216-his hair to snap [him]1216-his out of [his]1216-his daydream , and [he]1216-his turns [his]1216-his face up to [me]832-ava , [his]1216-his eyes meeting [mine]832-ava . [His]1216-his frown line is heavy on [his]1216-his forehead as [he]1216-his reaches up , spreads [his]1216-his palms on [my]832-ava backside and dips [his]1216-his head , kissing [my]832-ava stomach again . [He]1216-his ’s behaving peculiarly . ‘[832-ava] What ’s wrong ? ’ [I]832-ava ca n’t keep [my]832-ava concern to [myself]832-ava any longer . [He]1216-his looks up at [me]832-ava and smiles , but it does n’t reach [his]1216-his eyes . ‘[832-ava] Nothing . ’ [he]1216-his says unconvincingly . ‘[832-ava] Nothing ’s wrong . ’ No sooner am [I]832-ava preparing to challenge [him]1216-his , [his]1216-his face is buried in the apex of [my]832-ava thighs and [my]832-ava legs have buckled . ‘[832-ava] Ohhhhh ! ’ [My]832-ava head flies back and [my]832-ava grip on [his]1216-his hair tightens . In one foul lick , [he]1216-his has [me]832-ava lock stock , and the niggling urge to press [him]1216-his is forgotten . [He]1216-his moves [his]1216-his grip to [my]832-ava hips , causing [me]832-ava to jerk wildly . [He]1216-his ’s the only thing holding [me]832-ava up . [I]832-ava feel [his]1216-his hot , skillful tongue circle [my]832-ava hypersensitive nub of nerves , rounding with slow , precise movements before delving deep into [my]832-ava core . There is not a single bit of [me]832-ava [he]1216-his ’s not exploring . ‘[832-ava] [I]2342-matt need a shower , ’ [I]2342-matt complain . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt need [you]2342-matt , ’ [he]1216-his mumbles against [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sent into a melting mess as [he]2342-matt increases the pressure , digging [his]2342-matt fingers into [my]2342-matt hips . [I]2342-matt grind against [his]2342-matt mouth , it ’s only a matter of seconds before [I]2342-matt ’m falling to pieces , the surging pressure crashing down into [my]2342-matt groin having [me]2342-matt holding [my]2342-matt breath , with [my]2342-matt heart jumping into [my]2342-matt throat . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt taste incredible . Tell [me]2342-matt when [you]2342-matt ’re close . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] close ! ’ [I]2342-matt gasp on a long rush of breath . Holy shit , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] close ! ‘ [Someone]587-someone ’s keen this morning . ’[2342-matt] A hand is removed for [my]2342-matt hip and two fingers plunge into [me]2342-matt , sending [me]2342-matt into orbit . ‘ Oh , shit ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout . ‘ Please ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt must be ripping [his]2342-matt hair out . ‘ Watch … [your]2342-matt … fucking … mouth . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt scorns [me]2342-matt , between powerful , even strokes . [He]2342-matt ca n’t tell [me]2342-matt off for swearing during these moments . It ’s [his]2342-matt fault for putting [me]2342-matt through this . [He]2342-matt stretches [my]2342-matt opening with [his]2342-matt fingers , circling and thrusting , while working [my]2342-matt clit with [his]2342-matt thumb and lapping at [my]2342-matt sensitive lips with [his]2342-matt tongue . It ’s a torturous pleasure that [I]2342-matt could endure forever , if it was n’t for the increasing pressure weighing down on [me]2342-matt , demanding release . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout desperately . With a few more measured strokes of [his]2342-matt fingers , thumb and tongue , [I]2342-matt ’m hurled off the edge of [a cliff]2930-a cliff and freefalling into nothing , the banging of [my]2342-matt dehydrated brain replaced with sparks of pleasure . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] cured . [He]2342-matt laps and sucks , slowly and gently , easing [me]2342-matt down at a steady rate , [my]2342-matt body relaxing and [my]2342-matt heart rate leveling out . [I]2342-matt keep [my]2342-matt palms on [his]2342-matt head , tracing slow , light circles in [his]2342-matt hair . ‘ [You]1220-you ’re[2342-matt] the best hangover cure . ’ [I]1220-you exhale , on a long satisfied breath . ‘[1220-you] [You]1220-you ’re the best everything cure . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt counters . [His]2342-matt tongue traces up the middle of [my]2342-matt stomach , between [my]2342-matt breasts as [he]2342-matt rises to [his]2342-matt feet . [He]2342-matt continues the trail up [my]2342-matt neck , tilting [my]2342-matt head on a groan as [he]2342-matt laps up [my]2342-matt taut throat . ‘ Hmmm , now , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt kisses [my]2342-matt chin softly . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to fuck [you]2342-matt in the shower , ’ [He]2342-matt tugs [my]2342-matt chin so [my]2342-matt head comes back down . [He]2342-matt kisses [my]2342-matt lips . ‘[2342-matt] Deal ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Deal , ’ [I]2342-matt agree . What a stupid question . [I]2342-matt ’ve not had [him]2342-matt for four days . Where was [he]2342-matt ? [I]2342-matt elect not to ask . [I]2342-matt doubt [I]2342-matt would get a straight answer anyway . Instead , [I]2342-matt take [my]2342-matt time running [my]2342-matt palms down [his]2342-matt lovely chest , settling [my]2342-matt eyes on [his]2342-matt evil scar – something else [I]2342-matt doubt [he]2342-matt ’ll divulge . ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t even ask . How ’s [your]1221-i head ? ’ [I]1221-i snap [my]1221-i eyes from [his]2342-matt scar , back up to [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt ’s looking at [me]1221-i with a warning look . Yeah , [I]1221-i wo n’t be challenging that tone , or that face . ‘[1221-i] Better . ’ [I]1221-i answer . [I]1221-i am . [His]2342-matt face softens , and [he]2342-matt looks down at [his]2342-matt boxers . [I]1221-i take the hint , slipping [my]1221-i hand into the waist band , brushing [his]2342-matt hair with the back of [my]1221-i hand and skimming over [his]2342-matt morning erection . [I]1221-i flick [my]1221-i eyes to [his]2342-matt and find them regarding [me]1221-i carefully . When [I]1221-i move in closer , [he]2342-matt takes the opportunity to lower [his]2342-matt forehead onto [mine]1221-i , blessing [me]1221-i with [his]2342-matt signature minty breath . [We]1222-we ’re[1221-i] surrounded by steam now , condensation settling all over [us]1222-we , and [I]2342-matt can see [his]2342-matt chest hair dampening , gripping to [his]2342-matt skin as [I]2342-matt slip [my]2342-matt hands around the back of [his]2342-matt boxers , smoothing [my]2342-matt palms over [his]2342-matt tight , extraordinary arse . ‘ [I]2342-matt love this . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt whisper , molding [my]2342-matt palms over [his]2342-matt cheeks . [He]2342-matt rolls [his]2342-matt forehead against [mine]2342-matt . ‘ It ’s all [yours]2342-matt , [baby]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile [my]2342-matt approval and smooth [my]2342-matt palms back to the front , grasping [his]2342-matt thick , pulsing arousal at the base . ‘ [I]2342-matt really love this . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt groans in appreciation , swooping down to claim [my]2342-matt lips , raiding [my]2342-matt mouth possessively , forcing [me]2342-matt to release [my]2342-matt grip of [his]2342-matt hard length and take [my]2342-matt hand back to [his]2342-matt arse . [I]2342-matt ’m yanked into [his]2342-matt chest , getting a full impact blow of [his]2342-matt hardness pushed into [my]2342-matt groin . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] already commencing build up . The urgent need to have [him]2342-matt inside [me]2342-matt has [me]2342-matt breaking [our]1223-our kiss and tugging at [his]2342-matt boxers to get them down [his]2342-matt long , lean legs . [He]2342-matt releases one hand from [my]2342-matt bum to assist , [his]2342-matt boxers soon rid of , [his]2342-matt massive erection pointing straight at [me]2342-matt . It ’s twitching , it wants in . And the drop of moisture that ’s beading on the tip tells [me]2342-matt this is going to be a shock and awe moment . [I]2342-matt ’m right . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] swiftly grabbed around the waist and pulled upwards against [his]2342-matt heaving body . ‘ Get [your]2931-your thighs around [my]2342-matt waist . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt growls against [my]2342-matt neck , as [he]2342-matt sucks and bites at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt comply without a thought , wrapping [my]2342-matt legs around [his]2342-matt waiting body when [he]2342-matt lifts [me]2342-matt , [his]2342-matt arousal slipping over [my]2342-matt swollen entrance , causing a desperate cry to escape [my]2342-matt mouth . ‘ Oh God , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt gasp . [He]2342-matt crashes [his]2342-matt lips against [mine]2342-matt , moaning as [our]1224-us tongues perform a ceremonial dance in [our]1224-us mouths . [My]2342-matt hands smooth down [his]2342-matt stubble as [he]2342-matt holds [me]2342-matt with one arm wrapped around [my]2342-matt waist and walks [us]1224-us into the open ended shower . [I]2342-matt ’m immediately pinned against the tiles , [his]2342-matt palm slapping into the wall above [my]2342-matt head as [he]2342-matt worships [my]2342-matt mouth , hot water raining down all around [us]1224-us . ‘[2342-matt] This is going to be hard , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]2342-matt warns . ‘[2342-matt] [You]832-ava can scream . ’ Oh , [Lord]832-ava , help [me]832-ava . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] burning all over , and it has nothing to do with the hot water pouring all over [us]1224-us . [I]2342-matt move [my]2342-matt hands around to grip [his]2342-matt back when [I]2342-matt feel [him]2342-matt rear back , ready to enter [me]2342-matt , [my]2342-matt thighs relaxing to give [him]2342-matt room . Bringing [his]2342-matt hand down from the wall , [he]2342-matt guides [himself]2342-matt to [my]2342-matt entrance , looking straight into [my]2342-matt eyes as the head of [his]2342-matt erection probes at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt shiver . ‘ [You]2342-matt and [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says as [he]2342-matt lowers [his]2342-matt lips to [mine]2342-matt , kissing [me]2342-matt ravenously . ‘ Let ’s not fight it anymore . ’[2342-matt] And on a sharp shift of [his]2342-matt hips , [he]2342-matt thrusts upwards , filling [me]2342-matt to the absolute hilt , slamming [his]2342-matt hand back into the wall beside [my]2342-matt head on a roar . ‘ God ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scream . ‘ No , [baby]832-ava , that ’s [me]2342-matt , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt strains between powerful thrusts , pushing [me]2342-matt further up the tiled wall . ‘ Feels good , does n’t it ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt claw at [him]2342-matt , trying to get some grip , but the pounding water at [his]2342-matt back is making it impossible to hold [him]2342-matt . ‘ [Ava]832-ava ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt throw [my]2342-matt head back , panting and crazy with pleasure , as with each hard strike [he]2342-matt pushes [me]2342-matt further towards absolute ecstasy . [I]2342-matt feel [his]2342-matt lips close around [my]2342-matt exposed throat , the water making them skim and slide over [my]2342-matt flaming skin . ‘ [You]2342-matt feel so fucking perfect , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt groans against [my]2342-matt throat , continuing with [his]2342-matt strong , voracious tempo . ‘ Remember yet ? ’[2342-matt] Oh , this is a reminder fuck ! [He]2342-matt has no need to worry . There ’s not a chance [I]2342-matt could ever forget . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , have [you]832-ava remembered yet ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt barks , making a point of slamming out each word . ‘ [I]2342-matt never forgot ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt cry , helpless to [his]2342-matt punishing crashes against [my]2342-matt body . [I]2342-matt release [his]2342-matt back , knowing [he]2342-matt ’ll hold [me]2342-matt in place , and pull [his]2342-matt face up to [mine]2342-matt , [my]2342-matt hands brushing away the pouring water that ’s trailing down [his]2342-matt face . [His]2342-matt eyes lift to find [mine]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt never forgot . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt cry through hard slams . Feeling [him]2342-matt move inside [me]2342-matt , feeling [him]2342-matt tremble with the intensity of [our]1225-our joined bodies moving together , has [my]2342-matt emotions tackling [me]2342-matt from every angle . [He]2342-matt gasps , tilting [his]2342-matt head to claim [my]2342-matt lips . It ’s a kiss of significance . [I]2342-matt melt into it . This is not helping [me]2342-matt with [my]2342-matt attempts to rein in [my]2342-matt emotions . [He]2342-matt moans into [my]2342-matt mouth as [I]2342-matt hold onto [his]2342-matt face , soaking up the passion radiating from every pore of [his]2342-matt body . [He]2342-matt pounds on , hard and fast . As [our]1225-our mutual hunger assails [us]1225-our and [I]2342-matt reach the point of no return , [I]2342-matt lock [my]2342-matt thighs around [his]2342-matt narrow hips , every muscle in [my]2342-matt body bracing for the snap and release that ’s on the horizon . [He]2342-matt shudders , mumbling incoherent words against [my]2342-matt lips . Oh , fucking hell ! [He]2342-matt throws [his]2342-matt head back . ‘ Jesus fucking Christ ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse , please ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt cry . This is bordering on unbearable . [I]2342-matt do n’t know what to do with [myself]2342-matt . It ’s too much . [He]2342-matt brings [his]2342-matt eyes back down to [mine]2342-matt . [They]1226-they ’re dark and hooded . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] slightly concerned . ‘ Harder , [Ava]832-ava ? ’[1226-they] What ? Oh God , [he]2342-matt ’s going to rip [me]2342-matt in half . ‘ Answer the question . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt demands . ‘ Yes ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scream . Can this get any harder ? [He]2342-matt growls deep in [his]2342-matt throat , increasing [his]2342-matt thrusts to an even more determined , purposeful pace – a pace that [I]2342-matt would never have thought possible . [I]2342-matt tighten [my]2342-matt thighs to the point of pain , but that just increases the friction and , subsequently , [my]2342-matt pleasure . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m thrown over the threshold , erupting around [him]327-jesse on a scream . The loud groan that bursts from [his]327-jesse lips signals [he]327-jesse ’s with [me]2342-matt as [he]327-jesse holds [himself]327-jesse deep inside [me]2342-matt , [his]327-jesse big body jerking against [mine]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse bellows [my]2342-matt name , and [I]2342-matt feel the warm sensation of [his]327-jesse release within [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt drop [my]2342-matt head to [his]327-jesse shoulder , [my]2342-matt heart beating a fast staccato in [my]2342-matt chest . Oh [my]2342-matt God ! [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] held in place with one arm , the forearm of [his]1227-his other resting against the wall , [his]1227-his face buried in [my]2342-matt neck . [He]1227-his ’s breathless , and [my]2342-matt muscles are naturally bonding to [his]1227-his beating length as [he]1227-his rocks gently into [me]2342-matt . The shower is pouring down on [us]1228-us , but [I]2342-matt can still hear [our]1228-us ragged breaths over the pounding water . ‘ Holy shit . ’[1227-his] [he]1227-his whispers through [his]1227-his suppressed breathing . [I]2342-matt sigh . Yes , holy shit , indeed . That was beyond intense . [My]2342-matt mind is like jelly , and [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt wo n’t be able to stand if [he]1227-his tries to put [me]2342-matt down . As if reading [my]2342-matt mind , [he]1227-his turns [us]1228-us so [his]1227-his back is against the tiles and slides down the wall , taking [me]2342-matt with [him]1227-his so [I]2342-matt ’m straddling [his]1227-his lap on the shower floor . [My]2342-matt face is planted on [his]1227-his chest , and [I]2342-matt can still feel [him]1227-his pulsing inside [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] totally wrecked . [My]2342-matt hangover has been chased away , but it ’s been replaced with complete exhaustion . [He]1227-his had better be set to stay [here]314-here for a while because [I]2342-matt ’m going nowhere . [I]65-ha close [my]65-ha eyes as [I]65-ha lay peacefully , stuck to [his]1227-his sharp body . ‘[65-ha] [Lady]65-ha , [you]65-ha ’re [mine]65-ha forever . ’[1227-his] [he]1227-his says softly as [he]1227-his strokes [my]2342-matt wet back with both hands . [My]2342-matt eyes open and many thoughts invade [my]2342-matt recuperating brain , but [the loudest one]1231-the loudest one is screaming … [I]2342-matt want to be . [I]2342-matt do n’t say it , though . [I]2342-matt ’m mindful that [we]2933-we ’re[2342-matt] having amazing sex , and [he]1227-his wants to keep [me]2342-matt for exactly that , which would be fine by [me]2342-matt , if [I]2342-matt was n’t so sure that this eventually has to end . Sex on this scale is unfathomable to [me]2342-matt . It could n’t possibly last forever . It ’ll wear out and that will be that . But now , after having [my]2342-matt realisation , [I]2342-matt ’m petrified [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to be left restoring a broken heart . [My]2342-matt damn willpower sucks , but [I]2342-matt ca n’t resist [him]1227-his . ‘ Are [we]2933-we friends ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask , resting [my]2342-matt lips on [his]1227-his chest and kissing [my]2342-matt way around [his]1227-his nipple . ‘ [We]2933-we ’re[2512-friends] [friends]2512-friends , [baby]832-ava . ’ [I]2342-matt smile into [his]1227-his chest . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m glad . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Me]1227-his too . ’[1227-his] [he]1227-his says quietly . ‘ So glad . ’[1227-his] ‘ Where have [you]1227-his been ? ’[1227-his] ‘ It ’s does n’t matter , [Ava]832-ava . ’[1227-his] ‘ It matters to [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt argue quietly . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] back . That ’s all that matters . ’ [He]1227-his clinches [my]2342-matt bum and pulls [me]2342-matt closer to [him]1227-his . Yes , it is . But it does n’t make [me]2342-matt any less curious . And the fact that [he]1227-his wo n’t tell [me]2342-matt is just fueling [my]2342-matt curiosity . Where has [he]1227-his been ? ‘[2342-matt] Tell [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]832-ava push . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , leave it . ’ [His]1227-his voice is stern . [I]832-ava sigh and peel [myself]832-ava from [his]1227-his chest , lifting [my]832-ava heavy eyes to [his]1227-his . ‘[832-ava] Fine . [I]2342-matt need to wash [my]2342-matt hair . ’ [He]1227-his pushes [my]2342-matt wet locks away from [my]2342-matt face and drops a gentle kiss on [my]2342-matt lips . ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]832-ava hungry yet ? ’ [I]2342-matt am actually . Hangover sex has built [me]2342-matt up an incredible appetite . ‘[2342-matt] Very . ’ [I]2342-matt climb off of [him]1227-his , reaching for the shampoo . ‘[2342-matt] Is this it ? ’ [I]1234-no conditioner look at the shampoo , then to [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘[1234-no conditioner] [No conditioner]1234-no conditioner ? ’ ‘[1234-no conditioner] No , sorry . ’ [He]1227-his pushes [himself]1227-his up from the shower floor , taking the bottle from [my]2342-matt hand and squeezing some into [my]2342-matt hair . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt want to do it . ’ [I]2342-matt relinquish hair washing duties , letting [him]1227-his laver up [my]2342-matt hair , [his]1227-his big palms gently sweeping over [my]2342-matt head . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to have to wash it again when [I]2342-matt get [home]281-home . [No conditioner]1234-no conditioner spells trouble , but it smells of [him]1234-no conditioner , so [I]2342-matt really do n’t care . [I]2342-matt close [my]2342-matt eyes , let [my]2342-matt head fall back and absorb the rhythmic movements of [his]1234-no conditioner hands . All too soon , [he]1234-no conditioner ’s positioning [me]2342-matt under the shower to rinse away the suds . ‘ What the fuck are [they]2934-they ? ’[1234-no conditioner] [he]1234-no conditioner splutters . ‘ What ? ’[1234-no conditioner] [I]2342-matt turn to find out what [he]1234-no conditioner ’s talking about . [I]2342-matt catch a glimpse of a shocked expression as [he]1234-no conditioner grabs [me]2342-matt , turning [me]2342-matt so [my]2342-matt back is to [him]1234-no conditioner again . ‘ [Them]2934-they ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look over [my]2342-matt shoulder , finding [him]1234-no conditioner gawking at [my]2342-matt bum and the faded bruises from [my]2342-matt little jaunt in the back of [Margo]1052-margo . With the look of horror on [his]1234-no conditioner face , [you]1236-you would think [I]2342-matt had a skin eating disease . [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes . ‘ [I]2342-matt fell over in the back of [Margo]1052-margo . ’[2342-matt] ‘ What ? ’[1234-no conditioner] [he]1234-no conditioner snaps impatiently . ‘ [I]2342-matt was holding up the cake in the back of [Margo]1052-margo , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt remind [him]1234-no conditioner . ‘ [I]2342-matt got chucked about a bit . ’[2342-matt] ‘ A bit ? ’[1234-no conditioner] [he]1234-no conditioner gasps , running [his]1234-no conditioner palm across [my]2342-matt bum . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [you]832-ava look like [you]832-ava ’ve been used as a rugby ball . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt laugh . ‘ It does n’t hurt . ’[2342-matt] ‘ No more cake propping , ’[1234-no conditioner] [he]1234-no conditioner demands . ‘ [I]1234-no conditioner mean it . ’[1234-no conditioner] ‘ [You]832-ava ’re[2342-matt] overreacting . ’ [He]1234-no conditioner grumbles some inaudible words and kneels , planting [his]1234-no conditioner soft lips on each on [my]2342-matt cheeks . [I]2342-matt close [my]2342-matt eyes and sigh . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll be having a word with [Kate]2557-kate too . ’ [he]1234-no conditioner adds , and [I]2342-matt highly suspect [he]1234-no conditioner will . Standing again , [he]1234-no conditioner turns [me]2342-matt back around to face [him]1234-no conditioner , sweeping the water from [my]2342-matt face . [I]2342-matt open [my]2342-matt eyes , finding [him]1234-no conditioner staring down at [me]2342-matt , [his]1234-no conditioner face expressionless , but [his]1234-no conditioner eyes tell a different story . [He]1234-no conditioner ’s mad because of a few bruises ? The last time [he]1234-no conditioner got mad over a few bruises , [I]2342-matt did n’t see [him]1234-no conditioner for four days . [He]1234-no conditioner leans down and rests [his]1234-no conditioner lips on [my]2342-matt collar bone before running [his]1234-no conditioner tongue up [my]2342-matt neck and clamping [his]1234-no conditioner teeth on [my]2342-matt earlobe , tugging gently . [His]1234-no conditioner hot breath in [my]2342-matt ear has [me]2342-matt shuddering . Bloody hell , [I]2342-matt could go again ! ‘[2342-matt] Later , ’ [he]1234-no conditioner whispers , and [I]2342-matt moan in disappointment . [I]2342-matt ca n’t get enough of [him]1234-no conditioner . ‘[2342-matt] Out . ’ [he]1234-no conditioner demands , turning [me]2342-matt and clenching [my]2342-matt waist from behind to guide [me]2342-matt from the shower . [I]2342-matt stand quietly , letting [him]1234-no conditioner run the towel all over [my]2342-matt body and through [my]2342-matt hair to soak up the excess water . [He]1234-no conditioner ’s being so attentive and caring . [I]2342-matt like it . In fact , [I]2342-matt like it way too much . ‘[2342-matt] All done , ’ [He]1234-no conditioner wraps the towel around [his]1234-no conditioner waist without drying [himself]1234-no conditioner . [I]2342-matt really want to lean up and lick off the beads of water that are dripping over [his]1234-no conditioner shoulders , but [my]2342-matt hand is grasped and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] pulled back into [the bedroom]2350-the room before [I]2342-matt can follow through on [my]2342-matt intent . [I]2342-matt look around [the room]2350-the room . Where ’s [my]2342-matt dress ? [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [I]2342-matt ’ve got to do the walk of shame in [my]2342-matt short , black number . [My]2342-matt eyes return to [Jesse]327-jesse after [I]2342-matt ’ve scanned [the room]2350-the room . [I]2342-matt drawl , watching [him]327-jesse pull on some jeans . ‘ No boxers ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [He]327-jesse tucks [himself]327-jesse in and gingerly zips [himself]327-jesse up on a dark grin . ‘ No , [I]327-jesse do n’t want any unnecessary obstructions . ’[327-jesse] [His]327-jesse tone is suggestive and very confident . [I]2342-matt frown . ‘ Obstructions ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse pulls a crisp white t - shirt over [his]327-jesse wet hair and down [his]327-jesse rippling abdominals . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt ’m gawping . ‘[2342-matt] Yes , obstructions , ’ [he]327-jesse confirms in a low husk . [He]327-jesse strides over to [my]2342-matt naked form and wraps [his]327-jesse palm around the nape of [my]2342-matt neck to pull [my]2342-matt face close to [his]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] Get ready . ’ [he]327-jesse whispers , pressing [his]327-jesse lips hard on [mine]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse ’s got to stop this if [he]327-jesse ’s not going to see [me]2342-matt through . ‘[2342-matt] Where ’s [my]2342-matt dress ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask against [his]327-jesse lips . [He]327-jesse releases [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know . ’ [he]327-jesse says dismissively , casually striding out of [the room]2350-the room . What ? [He]327-jesse must have taken it off because [I]2342-matt was in no fit state to coordinate a strip . [I]2342-matt go into [the bathroom]2349-the kitchen to get [my]2342-matt underwear , at least [I]2342-matt know where that is … no , [I]2342-matt do n’t . [My]2342-matt bra and knickers are gone . Okay , [he]327-jesse ’s playing games . [I]2342-matt go to [his]327-jesse walk - in - wardrobe and find – what [I]2342-matt expect to be – the most expensive shirt on the rail . [I]2342-matt slip it on and make [my]2342-matt way [downstairs]2323-downstairs , finding [him]327-jesse in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . [He]327-jesse ’s sat at [the island]2653-the island , dipping [his]327-jesse finger in a jar of peanut butter . [His]327-jesse smile dazzles [me]2342-matt as [he]327-jesse looks up , [his]327-jesse lips wrapped around a peanut butter covered finger . ‘[2342-matt] Come here . ’ [he]327-jesse orders . [I]2342-matt stand in [the archway]2939-the archway , naked except for a white dress shirt , and frown at [him]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] No . ’ [I]2342-matt decline , watching as [his]327-jesse smile dulls into a straight line . ‘[2342-matt] Come … here . ’ [He]327-jesse punctuates the words slowly . ‘[2342-matt] Tell [me]2342-matt where [my]2342-matt dress is . ’ [I]2342-matt challenge . [He]327-jesse narrows [his]327-jesse eyes at [me]2342-matt and places [his]327-jesse jar of peanut butter , calmly and precisely , on the work surface . [Those cogs]2940-those cogs are working hard again and [his]327-jesse finger is tapping ferociously on the worktop as [he]327-jesse stares [me]2342-matt down . ‘[2342-matt] [You]1238-you have three seconds . ’ [he]327-jesse declares , [his]327-jesse voice dark , [his]327-jesse face straight . [I]1238-you raise [my]1238-you eyebrows . ‘[1238-you] Three seconds for what ? ’ ‘[1238-you] To get [your]1238-you arse over here . ’ It ’s that fierce tone . ‘[1238-you] Three , ’ [My]1238-you eyes widen . Is [he]327-jesse serious ? ‘[1238-you] What happens if [you]1238-you make it to zero ? ’ ‘[1238-you] Do [you]1238-you want to find out ? ’ [He]327-jesse remains completely impassive . ‘[1238-you] Two , ’ What ? Do [I]1110-one want to find out ? Fucking hell , [he]327-jesse ’s not given [me]1110-one much time to run this over . ‘[1110-one] [One]1110-one , ’ Shit ! [I]2342-matt bolt towards [his]327-jesse outstretched arms , colliding against [his]327-jesse hard body . There was no mistaking the dark look of satisfaction [I]2342-matt got a glimpse of before [my]2342-matt head was buried in [his]327-jesse neck . [I]2342-matt do n’t even know what happens on zero , but [I]2342-matt do know how much [I]2342-matt love [his]327-jesse arms around [me]2342-matt , so it ’s a no brainer really . Oh , that feels good . As [my]2342-matt face nuzzles between [his]327-jesse pecs and [I]2342-matt trace [my]2342-matt fingers over [his]327-jesse back , [I]2342-matt can hear [his]327-jesse heartbeats slow under [my]2342-matt ear . [He]327-jesse exhales and stands , placing [me]2342-matt on [the island]2653-the island , working [his]327-jesse way between [my]2342-matt thighs . [He]327-jesse rests [his]327-jesse palms on the tops of [my]2342-matt legs . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt like [your]2342-matt shirt . ’ [He]327-jesse skates [his]327-jesse palms over [my]2342-matt thighs . ‘[2342-matt] Is it expensive ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask on a pout . ‘[2342-matt] Very , ’ [He]327-jesse smirks . [He]327-jesse knows [my]2342-matt game . ‘[2342-matt] What do [you]2342-matt remember about last night ? ’ Oh ? Yes , [I]2342-matt was ridiculously drunk , shockingly brazen on the dance floor , and [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt might have admitted to [myself]2342-matt that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] in love with [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt does n’t need to know the last revelation . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[1240-a good dancer] [a good dancer]1240-a good dancer . ’ [I]1240-a good dancer say instead . ‘[1240-a good dancer] What can [I]2342-matt say ? [I]2342-matt ’m a sucker for [JT]175-jt , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt shrugs it off swiftly . ‘ What else do [you]2342-matt remember ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Why ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask on a frown . [He]2342-matt sighs . ‘ At what point do [you]2342-matt draw a blank ? ’[2342-matt] Where is [he]2342-matt going with this ? ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t remember getting [home]281-home , if that ’s what [you]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] getting at . [I]2342-matt do realise [I]2342-matt was stupidly drunk and highly irresponsible . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]1241-you do n’t remember anything after the bar ? ’ ‘[1241-you] No . ’ [I]1241-you admit . That ’s never happened to [me]1241-you before . ‘[1241-you] That ’s a shame . ’ [His]2342-matt sludgy eyes search [mine]1241-you for something , [I]1241-you ’ve no clue what . ‘[1241-you] What ’s a shame ? ’ ‘[1241-you] Nothing , ’ [He]2342-matt leans down , kissing [me]1241-you tenderly on the lips , smoothing [his]2342-matt palms over [my]1241-you face . ‘[1241-you] How old are [you]1241-you ? ’ [I]1241-you ask as [I]1241-you look [him]2342-matt straight in the eye . [He]2342-matt dips [his]2342-matt lips to [mine]1241-you again , coaxing them open and slowly swirling [his]2342-matt tongue around [my]1241-you mouth before biting [my]1241-you bottom lip and tugging gently . ‘[1241-you] Twenty six . ’ [he]2342-matt whispers , planting soft , skimming kisses all over [my]1241-you mouth . ‘[1241-you] [You]1241-you missed twenty five . ’ [I]1241-you mumble , closing [my]1241-you eyes in complete contentment . ‘[1241-you] No , [I]2342-matt did n’t . [You]1241-you just ca n’t remember asking [me]2342-matt . ’ ‘[1241-you] Oh . After the bar ? ’ [He]2342-matt rubs [his]2342-matt nose against [mine]1241-you . ‘[1241-you] Yes , after the bar . ’ [He]2342-matt pulls back and runs [his]2342-matt thumb across [my]1241-you bottom lip . ‘[1241-you] [You]1241-you feeling better ? ’ ‘[1241-you] Yes , [you]1241-you need to feed [me]2342-matt . ’ [He]2342-matt laughs , planting a chaste kiss on [my]1241-you lips . ‘[1241-you] Are [you]1241-you making demands ? ’ ‘[1241-you] Yes , ’ [I]1241-you say haughtily . ‘[1241-you] Get [me]2342-matt [my]2342-matt clothes . ’ [He]2342-matt narrows [his]2342-matt eyes on [me]1241-you , making a play for [my]1241-you hip bone , squeezing it hard and sending [me]1241-you jolting across the worktop on a squeal . ‘[1241-you] Who has the power , [Ava]832-ava ? ’ ‘[832-ava] What are [you]1241-you talking about ? ’ [I]2342-matt laugh around [his]2342-matt torturous squeezes . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m talking about how much easier [we]2943-we ’ll get along if [you]1241-you accept who holds the power . ’[2342-matt] Oh , [I]2342-matt ca n’t bear it anymore . ‘ [You]1241-you do ! ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt releases [me]2342-matt immediately . ‘ [Good girl]2335-good girl . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt grabs [my]2342-matt hair and yanks [me]2342-matt forward , landing [me]2342-matt with a hard , forceful kiss . ‘ Do n’t forget it . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt melt into [him]2342-matt , absorbing [his]2342-matt so called power on a long drawn out sigh . All too soon , [he]2342-matt leaves [me]2342-matt on [the worktop]2614-the worktop and returns a few minutes later with [my]2342-matt underwear , dress , shoes and bag . [I]2342-matt scowl at [him]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt take them . ‘ Do n’t look at [me]2342-matt like that , [lady]2342-matt . [You]2342-matt wo n’t be wearing that dress again , [I]2342-matt can assure [you]2342-matt . Put the shirt over it . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt gives the dress a disapproving look before leaving [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen to take a call . [I]2342-matt laugh to [myself]2342-matt . Who holds the power ? [Me]2342-matt , that ’s who ! [Control freak]1244-control freak ! [I]2342-matt throw [my]2342-matt clothes on and rummage through [my]2342-matt bag to try and find [my]2342-matt contraceptive pills , but [they]1245-i ’re nowhere to be seen . [I]1246-i tip out the entire contents of [my]1246-i clutch onto the worktop and rifle through the crap that [I]1246-i harbour in [my]1246-i bag , only to find [I]1246-i did n’t put them in . ‘[1246-i] [You]1246-i ready ? ’ [I]1245-i turn to see [Jesse]327-jesse in the archway to [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen with [his]327-jesse hand held out . ‘[1245-i] Two seconds . ’ [I]1245-i stuff [my]1245-i things back in [my]1245-i bag and walk over , taking [his]327-jesse outstretched hand . ‘[1245-i] Lost something ? ’ [he]327-jesse asks , leading [me]1245-i out of [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse . ‘[1245-i] No , [I]2342-matt must have left [them]1245-i at [home]281-home . ’ [He]327-jesse looks down at [me]2342-matt with a questioning look . ‘[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt pills , ’ [His]327-jesse eyebrows rise . ‘[2342-matt] It ’s a good job [Cathy]181-cathy is n’t [here]314-here . [You]1249-you would give [her]181-cathy a heart attack in that dress . ’ ‘[181-cathy] [Cathy]181-cathy ? ’ ‘[887-my housekeeper] [[My]2342-matt housekeeper]887-my housekeeper , ’ [He]327-jesse looks down at [my]887-my housekeeper dress disapprovingly and sets about fastening the buttons of [his]327-jesse shirt . ‘[887-my housekeeper] Better . ’ [he]101-clive concludes on a small satisfied smile . [We]1252-we exit [the elevator]780-the elevator and [I]66-lusso ’m[66-lusso] pulled through [the foyer of [Lusso]66-lusso]1251-the foyer of lusso , [Clive]101-clive doing a double take as [we]1252-we pass . ‘ Morning , [Mr Ward]327-jesse . ’[101-clive] [he]101-clive greets cheerfully . ‘ [You]101-clive look better this morning , [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse nods at [Clive]101-clive but does n’t slow [his]101-clive long strides . [I]2342-matt blush profusely , smiling sweetly as [I]2342-matt scuttle along , keeping up with [Jesse]327-jesse . How embarrassing . [I]2342-matt seriously doubt [I]2342-matt look better than last night . [My]2342-matt hair is damp , [I]2342-matt ’ve not a scrap of make - up on and [I]2342-matt ’m wearing last night ’s clothes with [Jesse]327-jesse ’s shirt over the top . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] bundled into [the Aston Martin]1253-the aston martin and drove [home]281-home at the usual hair raising speed , while [Ian Brown]327-jesse soothes [my]2342-matt ears . Outside [Kate]2557-kate ’s , [I]2342-matt let [myself]2342-matt out of [[his]327-jesse car]2476-his car and meet [him]327-jesse on [the pavement]2745-the pavement . [His]327-jesse eyes follow [me]2342-matt until [I]2342-matt ’m stood before [him]327-jesse and [he]327-jesse ’s looking down at [me]830-a slave with those glorious , green eyes . [I]830-a slave do n’t want [him]327-jesse to go . [I]830-a slave want [him]327-jesse to take [me]830-a slave back to [[his]327-jesse tower]2947-his tower in the sky and hide [me]830-a slave there forever , in [his]327-jesse bed – with [him]327-jesse in it too . [I]830-a slave ’m[830-a slave] [a slave]830-a slave to [this man]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt ’ve been completely and utterly taken . [I]2342-matt step forward , pushing [my]2342-matt front into [his]327-jesse chest , tilting [my]2342-matt head up to [him]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse stands casually , with [his]327-jesse hands resting lightly in [his]327-jesse jean pockets , [his]327-jesse twinkling eyes watching [me]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt reach up on [my]2342-matt tiptoes and brush [my]2342-matt lips over [his]327-jesse . That ’s all it takes for [him]327-jesse to remove [his]327-jesse hands from [his]327-jesse pockets and heave [me]2342-matt to [his]327-jesse chest , plunging [his]327-jesse tongue into [my]2342-matt mouth , fiercely taking whatever [he]327-jesse wants . It ’s totally fine . [He]327-jesse can have it . [My]2342-matt arms find [their]1258-their way around [his]327-jesse neck , and [I]2342-matt absorb it all as [he]327-jesse rolls and laps at [my]2342-matt mouth , completely consuming [me]2342-matt . Trouble … so much bloody trouble . Once [he]327-jesse ’s taken what [he]327-jesse wants , [he]327-jesse pulls away on a long exhale , leaving [me]2342-matt breathless and wanting so much more . [I]2342-matt turn on [my]2342-matt unsteady legs , taking [myself]2342-matt up the path to [Kate]2557-kate ’s front door . [I]2342-matt should smile , [I]2342-matt ’m quite happy with [myself]2342-matt and all the sex [I]2342-matt ’ve had , but the ache in [my]2342-matt gut is a screaming indictor that [I]2342-matt ca n’t ignore . [I]2342-matt turn to watch [him]327-jesse drive off but find [him]327-jesse close behind , looking down at [me]2342-matt . [My]2342-matt brow furrows . What ’s [he]74-a god doing ? If [he]74-a god ’s come for another goodbye kiss , then [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] game . ‘ What are [you]74-a god doing ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] coming in to wait for [you]74-a god . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Where am [I]2342-matt going ? ’ ‘[74-a god] [You]74-a god ’re coming to work with [me]74-a god , ’[74-a god] [he]74-a god replies , like [I]2342-matt should know this . [He]74-a god ’s going to work ? Of course , hotels do n’t close on weekends , but what am [I]2342-matt going to do while [he]74-a god ’s working ? Do [I]2342-matt care as long as [I]2342-matt ’m with [him]74-a god ? ‘[2342-matt] [You]74-a god just kissed [me]2342-matt goodbye . ’ A smile plays at the corners of [his]74-a god mouth . ‘[832-ava] No , [Ava]832-ava . [I]2342-matt just kissed [you]74-a god . ’ [He]74-a god brushes a damp lock of hair from [my]2342-matt face . ‘[2342-matt] Get ready . ’ Oh , okay . [He]74-a god orders [me]2342-matt about all over [the place]308-the place and [I]2342-matt comply , mostly without a second thought . [I]2342-matt really am [a slave]830-a slave to [him]74-a god . [I]2342-matt walk into [the lounge]614-the lounge , with [Jesse]327-jesse in tow , to find [Kate]2557-kate and [Sam]1914-sam sprawled across the sofa , a tangle of semi - naked arms and legs , eating cornflakes . [Neither of [them]2951-neither of them]2951-neither of them makes any urgent attempt to cover up . ‘[2342-matt] Hey , [[my]2342-matt man]74-a god , ’ [Sam]1914-sam exclaims when [he]1914-sam looks up and sees [Jesse]327-jesse . [Jesse]327-jesse ’s eyes travel over [Sam]1914-sam ’s half nakedness , a look of disapproval clear on [his]327-jesse face . ‘[2342-matt] How are [you]74-a god feeling , [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [he]327-jesse asks . [I]832-ava roll [my]832-ava eyes . Yes , [I]832-ava was steaming drunk , but as it happens , [I]832-ava feel fine now – [Jesse]327-jesse has fucked [me]832-ava better . ‘[832-ava] Good . ’ [I]2342-matt answer , glancing at [Kate]2557-kate with a get - in - [[my]2342-matt - room]2682-my room - NOW look . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll be as quick as [I]2342-matt can . ’ [I]587-someone leave [Jesse]327-jesse in [the lounge]614-the lounge and retreat to [[my]587-someone room]2682-my room , pacing while waiting for [Kate]2557-kate . [Victoria]54-victoria ’s disclosure comes back into [my]587-someone mind , and now [I]587-someone do n’t know what to do . [She]2557-kate swans in , looking all roughed up . ‘[587-someone] [Someone]587-someone looks thoroughly fucked ! ’ [she]2557-kate laughs . [I]587-someone narrow [my]587-someone eyes on [her]2557-kate . There ’s one more thing [I]587-someone need to clear up first . ‘[587-someone] Why did [you]1261-you tell [Sam]1914-sam where [I]2342-matt was ? ’ [I]1261-you spit accusingly . [She]2557-kate recoils . ‘[1261-you] [You]1261-you ’re mad at [me]1261-you ? ’[1261-you] ‘ Yes … no … a little bit . ’[2342-matt] Oh , [I]2342-matt ’m not mad in the slightest . [I]2342-matt was a bit last night , but not now . [She]2557-kate gives [me]2342-matt a mischievous grin . ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t look at [me]2342-matt like that [Kate Matthews]2557-kate . What ’s going on with [you]1261-you and [Sam]1914-sam ? ’ ‘[1914-sam] Adorable , is n’t [he]1914-sam ? ’ [She]2557-kate winks . ‘[1914-sam] It ’s just a bit of fun . ’ Well , fun or not , [she]2557-kate needs to know . ‘[1914-sam] [You]1261-you should know that [Victoria]54-victoria saw [him]1914-sam being doused in a frappuccino by [some irate woman in [Starbucks]12-starbucks]1262-some irate woman in starbucks . ’ [I]2342-matt pull [Jesse]327-jesse ’s shirt and [my]2342-matt dress over [my]2342-matt head , flinging them both to the floor . [Kate]2557-kate rolls [her]2557-kate eyes and scoops them up , placing them on [my]2342-matt bed before flopping down on [my]2342-matt duvet , [her]2557-kate red hair fanning around [her]2557-kate pale face . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt know . It ’s [the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend . ’ ‘[1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend] [He]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend told [you]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend ? ’ [I]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend ca n’t keep the shock from [my]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend voice . ‘[1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend] Yeah , it ’s no big shakes . ’ ‘[1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend] Oh , ’ [I]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend ca n’t believe how laid back [she]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend is . Ever [the calm and collective one]2954-the calm and collective one , nothing fazes [her]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend . [She]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend looks up at [me]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend . ‘[1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend] [You]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend ’re not the only one getting a good seeing to , ’[1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend] [she]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend says seriously . [I]2342-matt gape at [her]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend . ‘ It ’s written all over [your]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend face , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] going to work with [Jesse]327-jesse . ’ [I]327-jesse grab [my]327-jesse dryer to try and salvage the damp mess that is [my]327-jesse hair . ‘[327-jesse] Have fun . ’ [I]2342-matt hear [her]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend chant as [she]1263-the crazy bitch ex - girlfriend sashays out of [[my]2342-matt room]2682-my room . [I]2342-matt flip [my]2342-matt head upside down and rough dry [my]2342-matt mass of brunette hair , ignoring the fact that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] rushing to get back to [Jesse]327-jesse . When [I]2342-matt flick [my]2342-matt head back up to the mirror , an image of [Jesse]327-jesse , propped up against [my]2342-matt headboard , smacks [me]2342-matt in the face . [His]327-jesse arms are casually braced behind [his]327-jesse head . [He]327-jesse practically fills [my]2342-matt double bed . [I]2342-matt flick [my]2342-matt dryer off , turning to face green eyes burning holes into [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt want to crawl up that bed and into [him]327-jesse . ‘ Hey , [baby]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse looks [me]2342-matt up and down . ‘ Hey , [yourself]327-jesse , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt grin . ‘ Comfortable ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse bounces [himself]327-jesse lightly . ‘ No , [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] only comfortable with one thing under [me]2342-matt these days . ’ [His]327-jesse eyebrows raise suggestively . That look and those words have [my]327-jesse knees quivering and coils of craving springing into every crevice of [my]327-jesse body . [I]327-jesse watch as [he]327-jesse pushes [himself]327-jesse up from [my]327-jesse bed and walks slowly over to [me]327-jesse , turning [me]327-jesse to face [my]327-jesse wardrobe . Reaching over one of [my]327-jesse shoulders , [he]327-jesse flicks through the rails of clothes , pulling out [my]327-jesse cream shirt dress . ‘[327-jesse] Put this on , ’ [he]327-jesse breathes in [my]327-jesse ear . ‘[327-jesse] And make sure there ’s lace underneath it . ’ [I]327-jesse clench [my]327-jesse eyes shut . [I]327-jesse was thinking more along the lines of jeans and a t - shirt , but [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] more than happy to go with that . [I]2342-matt reach forward , taking the hanger from [him]1264-his , moaning when [his]1264-his hand falls down and brushes over [my]2342-matt breast , [his]1264-his hips rolling forward into [my]2342-matt lower back . Oh , good Lord , STOP ! ‘ Be quick . ’[1264-his] [He]1264-his slaps [my]2342-matt bum lightly and stalks out , leaving [me]2342-matt a wobbly mess and holding onto [my]2342-matt cream dress for support . [I]2342-matt shake [myself]2342-matt back to life , shiver on a little gasp and finish getting [myself]2342-matt ready . Pulling out every handbag [I]2342-matt own , [I]2342-matt proceed to search for [my]2342-matt pills , but [they]1265-i ’re nowhere to be found . [I]1265-i find [Kate]2557-kate in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen making tea , still in just a t - shirt . ‘[1265-i] Have [you]1266-you seen [my]2342-matt pills ? ’ [I]1265-i rummage through the junk drawer in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , housing everything from batteries and phone chargers to lipsticks and nail polish . ‘[1265-i] Are n’t they in [your]1266-you bag ? ’ ‘[1265-i] No , ’ [I]1265-i slam the drawer on a frown . ‘[1265-i] Have [you]1266-you checked all [your]1266-you bags ? ’ [Kate]2557-kate asks , walking out of [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen with two mugs of tea . ‘[1265-i] Yes , ’ [I]1265-i proceed to delve through every other drawer in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , even though [I]1265-i know [they]2957-they ca n’t possibly be in among the cutlery or utensils . ‘[1265-i] Problem ? ’ [I]2342-matt look up , finding [Jesse]327-jesse filling the doorway . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ca n’t find [my]2342-matt pills . ’ [I]2342-matt try , in complete vain , searching through [my]2342-matt bag again , but [they]2957-they ’re[2342-matt] definitely not there . ‘ Find [them]2957-they later , come on . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt puts [his]2342-matt hand out . ‘ [I]2342-matt like [your]2342-matt dress . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says softly , running [his]2342-matt gaze up and down [me]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt walk towards [him]2342-matt . Of course [he]2342-matt does ; [he]2342-matt picked it . [He]2342-matt reaches under the hem to run [his]2342-matt forefinger up the inside of [my]2342-matt thigh , watching [me]2342-matt as [my]2342-matt lips clamp together and [my]2342-matt hands fly up to [his]2342-matt chest . [He]2342-matt smirks dirtily and sweeps [his]2342-matt finger under [my]2342-matt knickers seam , brushing [my]2342-matt sex softly . [I]2342-matt sigh . ‘ Wet . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt whispers , circling [me]2342-matt slowly . [I]2342-matt could weep with pleasure . ‘ Later . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt withdraws [his]2342-matt finger and licks it clean . [I]2342-matt scowl at [him]2342-matt . ‘ [You]2342-matt have to stop doing that . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Never , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt grins , yanking [me]2342-matt out of [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . ‘ Say goodbye to [[your]2342-matt friend]2557-kate . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Bye ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout . ‘ [She]2557-kate ’s [[your]2342-matt friend]2557-kate too , is n’t [she]2557-kate ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt have n’t hit [him]2342-matt with the little exchange [he]2342-matt and [Kate]2557-kate had in [the bar]361-the bar last night . [He]2342-matt looks at [me]2342-matt , [his]2342-matt frown line skipping across [his]2342-matt forehead . ‘ At the bar , whispering in [her]2557-kate ear . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt add casually . [He]2342-matt opens the front door , ushering [me]2342-matt out . ‘ [She]2557-kate gave [me]2342-matt a dig for fucking off , and [I]2342-matt apologised . [I]2342-matt do n’t offer apologies very often , so do n’t push it . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt laugh . [I]2342-matt do n’t expect [he]2342-matt does . But [he]2342-matt did – for [me]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt still has n’t explained where [he]2342-matt disappeared to , though . Chapter 21 [We]1269-we drive out of [the city]2326-the city , towards [the Surrey Hills]1-surrey hills . [I]2342-matt catch a glimpse of [him]2342-matt , every now and then , watching [me]2342-matt instead of [the road]2482-the road . Each time , [he]2342-matt smiles and squeezes [my]2342-matt knee , which has had [his]2342-matt palm spread on it for most of the journey . [I]2342-matt start thinking about how little [I]2342-matt know about [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt ’s intense , quite volatile , incredibly self - assured and extremely rich . Oh , and [he]2342-matt ’s wild in [the sex department]1272-the sex department . But that ’s all [I]2342-matt know . [I]2342-matt do n’t even know how old [he]2342-matt is . ‘ How long have [you]2958-you owned [The Manor]2356-the manor ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [He]2342-matt throws [me]2342-matt a curious , arched eyebrow and turns down the music via the controls on [his]2342-matt steering wheel . ‘ Since [I]2342-matt was twenty one , ’[2342-matt] ‘ [That young]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blurt , [my]2342-matt tone clearly displaying [my]2342-matt shock at [his]2342-matt answer . [He]2342-matt smiles brightly at [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt inherited The Manor from [[my]2342-matt Uncle [Carmichael]327-jesse]2960-my uncle carmichael . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [He]2342-matt died ? ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt smile disappears . ‘ Yes . ’[2342-matt] Okay , now [I]2342-matt really want to know more . ‘ How old are [you]2342-matt , [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Twenty seven . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says , completely impassive . [I]2342-matt sigh . ‘ Why wo n’t [you]2342-matt tell [me]2342-matt how old [you]2342-matt are ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt looks over at [me]2342-matt , grinning . ‘ Because , [you]2342-matt might think [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] too old for [you]1273-you and run a mile . ’ [I]2342-matt eye [him]2342-matt suspiciously across [the car]548-the car . [He]2342-matt ca n’t be that old . [I]2342-matt want to scream at [him]2342-matt that [I]2342-matt wo n’t be running anywhere . ‘[2342-matt] Okay , how many times have [I]2342-matt got to ask [you]1273-you before [we]1274-we get to [your]1273-you real age ? ’ [I]2342-matt ’ve tried this before and got nowhere . [He]2342-matt grins . ‘[2342-matt] A few , ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m twenty six . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt try for a bit of give and take as [I]2342-matt watch [him]2342-matt closely . [He]2342-matt glances at [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt know . ’[2342-matt] ‘ How ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Your]2342-matt licence , ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]2342-matt went through [my]2342-matt bag as well as [my]2342-matt phone ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt cry incredulously , but [he]2342-matt just shrugs . [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head in dismay . It ’s an unwritten rule . [This man]2342-matt really does n’t have any manners . ‘ Do [you]2342-matt think [you]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] too old for [me]2342-matt ? ’ Given what [he]2342-matt has done to [me]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] guessing the answer is no , but as it seems like such an issue , it ’s worth an ask . ‘ No , [I]2342-matt do n’t . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt keeps [his]2342-matt eyes on [the road]2482-the road . ‘ [My]2342-matt issue is [your]2342-matt issue . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt frown . ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t have an issue . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt turns [his]2342-matt handsome face towards [me]2342-matt , all smoky eyed and glorious . ‘ Then stop asking [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt rest [my]2342-matt head back against the seat on a huff , watching [the countryside]293-the countryside pass [us]1277-we by . [His]2342-matt age does n’t bother [me]2342-matt in the slightest – not now , anyway . [I]2342-matt do n’t think there ’s anything that could change [my]2342-matt mind on this . [I]2342-matt turn towards [him]2342-matt . ‘ What about [[your]2342-matt parents]2962-your parents ? ’[2342-matt] The straight line [his]2342-matt lips form has [me]2342-matt immediately regretting the question . ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t see [them]2962-your parents . ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt tone is dismissive . [I]2342-matt sit back and say no more . [His]2342-matt contemptuous approach makes [me]2342-matt all the more curious , but it also makes [me]2342-matt shut [my]2342-matt trap . [We]1277-we pull up at [The Manor]2356-the manor and [Jesse]327-jesse flips a switch on the dash , opening the gates . As [we]1277-we approach [the courtyard]307-the courtyard , [I]2342-matt see [Big John]832-ava getting out of [[his]832-ava Range Rover]42-his range rover , in [his]832-ava usual black suit and wraparound sunglasses . [He]832-ava nods in greeting as [I]2342-matt get out of [the car]548-the car and walk around to [Jesse]327-jesse ’s side . ‘ What ’s happening , [John]832-ava ? ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse asks , taking [my]2342-matt hand and leading [me]2342-matt up the steps to [[The Manor]3-the manor ’s entrance]1281-the manor ’s entrance . [I]2342-matt shiver , thinking about the last time [I]2342-matt was here . [I]2342-matt did [a runner]1282-a runner , and [I]2342-matt never thought [I]2342-matt would be back . But here [I]2342-matt am . [I]2342-matt look up at [Jesse]327-jesse as [he]327-jesse claps hands with [Big John]832-ava . [He]327-jesse ’s turned all business like . ‘ S’all good , ’[832-ava] [John]832-ava rumbles , allowing [Jesse]327-jesse and [me]2342-matt to pass before following [us]1283-us through to [the restaurant]1284-the restaurant . [I]2342-matt ’m surprised how quiet it is for ten o’clock on a Sunday morning in [a hotel]321-a hotel . Is n’t it breakfast time ? [Jesse]327-jesse stops , turning to face [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] What would [you]1285-you like to eat ? ’ [He]327-jesse ’s even talking to [me]2342-matt all business like . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not fussed . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shrug . [I]2342-matt ’m feeling uncomfortable and beginning to wish [I]2342-matt stayed on the sofa with a huge mug of coffee and a duvet . What am [I]2342-matt going to do while [he]327-jesse works , anyway ? [His]327-jesse expression softens . ‘[2342-matt] What do [you]1285-you really fancy ? ’ Oh , well , that ’s really easy . ‘[1285-you] Smoked salmon , ’ ‘[184-bagel] [Bagel]184-bagel ? ’ [he]327-jesse asks , and [I]184-bagel nod . ‘[184-bagel] Coffee ? ’ ‘[184-bagel] Please , ’ ‘[184-bagel] How do [you]1285-you take [your]1285-you coffee ? ’ ‘[146-cappuccino] [Cappuccino]146-cappuccino , extra shot . No chocolate or sugar . ’ ‘[146-cappuccino] [You]1285-you ’ll eat in [[my]2342-matt office]1011-my office , ’ [I]2342-matt shrug . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m easy . ’[2342-matt] As soon as the words fall from [my]2342-matt mouth , [I]2342-matt snap [my]2342-matt eyes up , discovering twinkling , green pools of delight and a very dirty smirk . ‘ Not a word . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt warn . ‘ It was n’t a question , [Ava]832-ava . [John]832-ava , give [me]2342-matt twenty . [Pete]185-pete , did [you]185-pete get that ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt certainly did , [Sir]185-pete . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Good . Bring [Ava]832-ava ’s breakfast to [[my]2342-matt office]279-the office . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt gives [his]2342-matt orders out while staring at [me]2342-matt with blazing green eyes . [My]2342-matt hand is grabbed , and [I]2342-matt ’m hauled through [The Manor]2356-the manor to [[his]2342-matt office]279-the office . [I]2342-matt jog to keep up with [him]2342-matt , and no sooner has the door to [[his]2342-matt office]279-the office shut , [my]2342-matt bag is tossed to the floor and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] thrust up against the back of it , [my]2342-matt dress around [my]2342-matt waist . Fucking hell ! Is n’t [he]2342-matt here to work ? [He]2342-matt buries [his]2342-matt face straight in [my]2342-matt neck , [my]2342-matt arms flying up to grip [his]2342-matt t - shirt . [I]2342-matt knew what was coming . When [he]2342-matt focused those blazing eyes on [me]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt knew what [he]2342-matt was thinking . But [I]2342-matt ’m still caught off guard by [his]2342-matt ferociousness . Slow , prepared build up , or hard , fast pounce – the affect is still the same . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sucking in short , sharp breaths and ready to beg . ‘ [I]2342-matt knew it was a bad idea bringing [you]2966-you here . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to get nothing done . ’ [His]2342-matt husky voice drums against [my]2342-matt throat as [he]2342-matt sucks greedily , [his]2342-matt palms stroking up either side of [my]2342-matt body , resting on [my]2342-matt breasts and kneading through the material of [my]2342-matt dress . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll go then . ’ [I]2342-matt breathe . ‘[2342-matt] Shit ! ’ The sharp thrust of [his]2342-matt hips tells [me]2342-matt that was the wrong thing to say . The pressure of [his]2342-matt body pushing [me]2342-matt up against the door increases and [his]2342-matt mouth crashes to [mine]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Watch [your]2342-matt fucking mouth . ’ [he]2342-matt grates between strong , swift strokes of [his]2342-matt tongue . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt ’re going nowhere , [lady]2342-matt , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt bites [my]2342-matt lip . ‘ Ever . Are [you]2342-matt wet ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt pant , grappling at [his]2342-matt t - shirt . [I]2342-matt only have to look at [him]2342-matt and [I]2342-matt ’m turned on . [His]2342-matt hands leave [my]2342-matt breasts , disappearing south , and [I]2342-matt hear the sound of [his]2342-matt fly zipper being undone , [his]2342-matt no obstruction comment now perfectly clear . [My]2342-matt knickers are yanked to the side . [I]2342-matt have no time to brace [myself]2342-matt for the hard and fast that ’s coming . [He]2342-matt tugs one of [my]2342-matt legs up to [his]2342-matt waist , positions [himself]2342-matt and slams into [me]2342-matt , thrusting [me]2342-matt up the door on a loud shout . [I]2342-matt scream . ‘[2342-matt] Quiet . ’ [he]2342-matt barks . [He]2342-matt gives [me]2342-matt no time to adjust . [He]2342-matt pounds into [me]2342-matt repeatedly , punishingly , over and over , sending [me]2342-matt skyward in pleasure . [I]2342-matt press [my]2342-matt lips together to refrain from shouting out , dropping [my]2342-matt head onto [his]2342-matt shoulder in delirious despair . ‘[2342-matt] Do [you]1287-you feel [me]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [he]2342-matt grinds through gritted teeth . [Lord]832-ava give [me]832-ava strength , [I]832-ava think [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] going to pass out . [He]1288-he ’s working into [me]2342-matt like [a mad man]1289-a mad man , urgently thrusting and gasping . ‘ Answer the question ! ’[1288-he] [he]1288-he ’s shouts . How come [he]1288-he can shout ? ‘ Yes ! [I]1288-he feel [you]1287-you . ’[1288-he] [He]1288-he hammers on , pushing [me]2342-matt further and further into a mind spinning despair . [I]2342-matt ’m a second from bursting , the one leg [I]2342-matt was stood on now off the floor from being pushed up the door . ‘[2342-matt] Does it feel good ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Oh God , yes ! ’ [I]2342-matt scream as all breath leaves [my]2342-matt lungs and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] assaulted by [his]1288-he greedy mouth . ‘ [I]1288-he said , quiet . ’[1288-he] [He]1288-he bites at [my]2342-matt lip , the pressure bordering on painful . The blazing fire attacking [my]2342-matt core cracks , fizzles and ruptures , pushing [me]2342-matt into a fevered bliss as [I]2342-matt climax on a loud cry , [his]1288-he mouth capturing [my]2342-matt screams as [my]2342-matt mind goes blank . [I]2342-matt shake uncontrollably against [him]1288-he , but [he]1288-he drives on , shouting on [his]1288-he own explosion , [his]1288-he erection pulsing and jerking as [he]1288-he spills [himself]1288-he deep inside [me]2342-matt . Oh , [good Lord]327-jesse , that was way hard and way fast . [My]2342-matt head is spinning wildly . [I]2342-matt ’m in complete awe of what [this man]327-jesse does to [me]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse ’s a bloody genius . And in [[his]327-jesse office]279-the office ? ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt might bring [you]327-jesse to work every day . ’ [he]327-jesse breathes against [my]2342-matt neck as [he]327-jesse slowly pulls out of [me]2342-matt , letting [me]2342-matt slide down the door . ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]327-jesse okay ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t let go of [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt mumble into [his]327-jesse shoulder . [I]2342-matt ca n’t find [my]2342-matt balance . [He]327-jesse laughs lightly , wrapping [his]327-jesse arm around [my]2342-matt waist to steady [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt blow [my]2342-matt hair out of [my]2342-matt face and find [his]327-jesse stunning eyes in [my]2342-matt field of vision . [I]2342-matt smile . ‘[2342-matt] Hi . ’ ‘[1291-me] [She]1291-me ’s back . ’ [He]327-jesse presses [his]327-jesse lips to [mine]2342-matt and picks [me]1291-me up , carrying [me]1291-me to the sofa and placing [me]1291-me down before [he]327-jesse sets about tucking [himself]327-jesse in and refastening [his]327-jesse flies . While [he]327-jesse collects [my]1291-me bag from the floor , [I]1291-me rearrange [my]1291-me dress and flop back on the sofa , a smile tickling the corners of [my]1291-me lips . The contrast of [his]327-jesse persona , from wild and demanding to tender and attentive , is a real brain burner . But [I]1291-me love both sides . [He]327-jesse ’s just way too good . [He]327-jesse comes and sits next to [me]1291-me , pulling [me]1291-me in under [his]327-jesse arm . ‘[1291-me] [I]2342-matt thought [you]65-ha could go up to the extension and start drafting some ideas . ’ ‘[1291-me] [You]65-ha still want [me]2342-matt to design ? ’ [I]2342-matt sound confused . That ’s okay , because [I]2342-matt am . [I]2342-matt thought it was all a ploy to get [me]2342-matt into bed . ‘[2342-matt] Of course [I]2342-matt do . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt thought [you]65-ha just wanted [me]2342-matt for [my]2342-matt body . ’ [I]2342-matt tease , earning [myself]2342-matt a flicked nipple . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt want [you]65-ha for a lot more than [your]65-ha body , [lady]65-ha . ’ [He]2342-matt does ? Like what ? ‘[65-ha] It ’s Sunday , ’ [I]65-ha pull away from [his]2342-matt embrace . ‘[65-ha] [I]2342-matt do n’t work on Sundays . Anyway , [I]2342-matt do n’t have any of [my]2342-matt kit with [me]2342-matt . ’ [His]2342-matt frown line jumps onto [his]2342-matt forehead as [he]2342-matt reaches over and yanks [me]2342-matt onto [his]2342-matt lap on a slight scowl . ‘[2342-matt] A pencil and a piece of paper ? ’ [He]2342-matt nips [my]2342-matt ear playfully . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sure [I]2342-matt can provide [you]2342-matt with those , but [I]2342-matt ’ll be deducting it from [your]2342-matt final bill . ’[2342-matt] Essentially , yes , a few pieces of paper and a pencil is all [I]2342-matt need at the moment , but its Sunday . [I]2342-matt can think of a million other things [I]2342-matt could be doing and would prefer to do . Besides , [I]2342-matt do n’t need to be sitting in the extension to start pulling ideas together . But then [I]2342-matt consider the possibility that [he]1293-his wants [me]2342-matt out of [[his]1293-his office]279-the office . [He]1293-his ’s got [his]1293-his rocks off and now [I]2342-matt ’m in the way . [I]2342-matt ca n’t even get in [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car and go . [I]2342-matt remove [myself]2342-matt from [his]1293-his lap as the door knocks . ‘[2342-matt] Come in . ’ [he]1293-his instructs , [his]1293-his questioning eyes resting on [me]185-pete . [I]185-pete ignore [them]2969-them . The grey haired chap from [the restaurant]1284-the restaurant walks in with a tray and places it on the coffee table . ‘[185-pete] Thanks , [Pete]185-pete . ’ [His]185-pete probing eyes stay on [me]185-pete . ‘[185-pete] [Sir]185-pete , ’ [He]185-pete nods at [Jesse]327-jesse and flicks a friendly smile in [my]185-pete direction before leaving . ‘[185-pete] Can [I]2342-matt have some paper ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask , picking the tray up and throwing [my]2342-matt bag over [my]2342-matt shoulder . ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]185-pete going to eat [your]185-pete breakfast ? ’ [He]185-pete stands , [his]185-pete brow still furrowed . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll take it [upstairs]2469-upstairs . ’ [I]2342-matt do n’t want to get under [your]185-pete feet ! ‘[2342-matt] Oh , okay . ’ [He]185-pete walks over to [his]185-pete desk . [I]2342-matt try [my]2342-matt hardest to ignore [his]185-pete perfect , jean clad arse as [he]185-pete bends and opens a drawer , pulling out an art pad and a tin of drawing pencils . What ’s [he]327-jesse got those for ? [They]2971-they ’re[2342-matt] not [your]185-pete average stationary essentials . [He]327-jesse walks back over , handing them to [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt accept , tucking them under the tray and making [my]2342-matt way to the door . ‘ Hey , are n’t [you]185-pete forgetting something ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt turn , finding [his]327-jesse questioning look has morphed into more of a glare . ‘ What ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [I]2342-matt know what , but [I]2342-matt ’m not in the mood to stroke [his]327-jesse ego . ‘[2342-matt] Get [your]185-pete arse over here . ’ [He]327-jesse flicks [his]327-jesse head . [My]2342-matt shoulders drop slightly . It ’s just easier , all round , if [I]2342-matt give [him]327-jesse what [he]327-jesse wants and get out of [his]327-jesse hair . [I]2342-matt reach [him]327-jesse , trying [my]2342-matt hardest to put on a cheerful face . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] failing miserably . ‘ Kiss [me]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse orders , [his]327-jesse hands draped casually in [his]327-jesse jean pockets . [I]2342-matt reach up on tiptoes and push [my]2342-matt lips against [his]327-jesse , ensuring [I]2342-matt make it more than a peck . [He]327-jesse does n’t respond . ‘ Kiss [me]327-jesse like [you]327-jesse mean it , [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse ’s not buying [my]2342-matt half - hearted attempt to satisfy [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt sigh . [I]2342-matt ’ve got a tray in [my]2342-matt hands , [my]2342-matt bag over [my]2342-matt shoulder and a pad and pencil buried under the tray . This is proving to be tricky , especially when [he]327-jesse ’s not assisting . [I]2342-matt place the tray and drawing equipment on [his]327-jesse desk and delve [my]2342-matt hands into [his]327-jesse hair , pulling [his]327-jesse face down to [mine]2342-matt . It takes a nanosecond for [him]327-jesse to respond . Once [our]1297-our lips meet , [he]327-jesse takes [me]2342-matt completely , [his]327-jesse arms snaking around [my]2342-matt waist as [he]327-jesse bends slightly to accommodate [our]1297-our height difference . [I]2342-matt do n’t want to enjoy it , but [I]2342-matt do – way too much . ‘ Better , ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse says against [my]2342-matt lips . ‘ Never hold out on [me]327-jesse , [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse releases [me]2342-matt , leaving [me]2342-matt feeling slightly dizzy and disorientated . [Someone]186-someone knocks on the door . ‘ Go . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse nods at the door . [I]2342-matt collect [my]2342-matt things and leave without a word . [I]2342-matt ’ve got a proper sulk on . [I]2342-matt ’m on stupidly dangerous ground here , and [I]2342-matt know it . [This man]327-jesse has broken heart written all over [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt open the office door and find [Big John]832-ava waiting for [me]2342-matt . [He]832-ava nods , taking up position beside [me]2342-matt to escort [me]2342-matt [upstairs]2469-upstairs . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt know where [I]2342-matt ’m going , [John]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt offer . [He]327-jesse does n’t have to flank [me]2342-matt all of the way . ‘ S’all good , [girl]490-girl . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse rumbles , continuing [his]327-jesse long strides besides [me]2342-matt to [the stairs]272-the stairs . When [we]1299-we reach the stained glass window at the bottom of the stairs to [the third floor]1300-the third floor , [I]2342-matt glance up the wide staircase . At the top , there ’s a set of wooden doors with pretty circle symbols calved into the wood . [They]1301-they ’re closed and quite intimidating . What ’s up there ? It could be [a function room]2974-a function room . [I]1301-they ’m[1301-they] distracted from the imposing vastness of wood when [I]2342-matt hear a door open . [I]2342-matt look over the landing , seeing [a man walking out of [a guest suite]1303-a guest suite]0-the one doing [his]0-the one flies up . [He]0-the one looks up , catching [me]2342-matt staring . [My]2342-matt face flames as [I]2342-matt look at [John]832-ava , who ’s eyeing up [the guy]0-the one , shaking [his]0-the one head menacingly . A wave of worry washes over [the guests]1304-the guests face , and [I]2342-matt scuttle off through the archway that leads to the extension to try and escape the embarrassing situation . [John]832-ava did not look impressed . Why [men]2420-men think it ’s acceptable to [exit toilets]1306-exit toilets and [hotel rooms]1307-hotel rooms still arranging [themselves]1307-hotel rooms is beyond [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt let [myself]2342-matt into [the furthest room]2350-the room . With the lack of furniture , [I]2342-matt slide down the wall to [my]2342-matt bum . [John]832-ava pokes [his]832-ava head around the door . ‘ [Ring Jesse]327-jesse if [you]2975-you need anything . ’[832-ava] [he]832-ava grunts . ‘ [I]832-ava can go find [him]832-ava . ’[832-ava] ‘ No , ring [Jesse]327-jesse . ’[832-ava] [he]832-ava affirms , closing the door . So , if [I]2342-matt need [the toilet]440-the toilet , have [I]2342-matt got to ring [Jesse]327-jesse then ? [I]2342-matt should have stayed at [home]281-home . Gazing around the shell of [a room]2350-the room , [I]2342-matt start nibbling at the salmon bagel , which [I]2342-matt reluctantly admit is lovely . [I]2342-matt try to recall [my]2342-matt specification . What did [he]832-ava say ? Oh , yes – sensual , stimulating and invigorating . It ’s not [my]2342-matt normal brief , but [I]2342-matt can work with it . [I]2342-matt pick up the pad , slide a pencil out of the tin and begin sketching large , lavish beds and sumptuous window dressings . Losing [myself]2342-matt in some sketching is the perfect way to divert [my]2342-matt mind from the more troubling thoughts that are currently swamping [my]2342-matt poor brain . A few hours later , [my]2342-matt arse is dead and [I]2342-matt have a rough draft of [an amazing bedroom]1311-an amazing bedroom . [I]2342-matt flick the pencil over the paper , shading and blending here and there . Okay , now that ’s sensual . [He]832-ava said a big bed was essential , and the huge four - poster , positioned in the middle of [the room]2350-the room , screams luxury and sensuality . [I]2342-matt study the picture , blushing at [my]2342-matt own work . [Jesus]72-jesus , it ’s almost erotic . Where has that come from ? Maybe it ’s all the incredible sex [I]2342-matt ’ve been having . The bed dominating [the room]2350-the room is a replica of one that [I]2342-matt spotted at [a reclamation yard]1312-a reclamation yard a few months ago . With massive , chunky , wooden posts and a lattice style canopy , it ’ll look amazing with gold silk dressing it . [I]2342-matt do n’t know what to put on the walls because [Jesse]327-jesse did n’t elaborate further than large , wooden wall hangings – probably something resembling what [I]2342-matt saw in [the other suite]1313-the other suite when [Jesse]327-jesse cornered [me]2342-matt . [My]2342-matt line of thought is interrupted when the door opens and [I]2342-matt ’m presented with [Sarah]54-victoria ’s pouty face . [I]832-ava inwardly groan . [The woman]832-ava is everywhere – everywhere [Jesse]327-jesse is . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , what a pleasant surprise , ’ [Liar]187-liar ! [She]832-ava shuts the door softly behind [her]832-ava and walks into the middle of [the room]2350-the room . [My]54-victoria unkind thoughts have [me]54-victoria wishing [she]832-ava would take a tumble in those ridiculous heels . [I]54-victoria really do n’t like [this woman]832-ava . [She]832-ava brings out [[my]54-victoria inner bitch]2976-my inner bitch better than anyone [I]54-victoria ’ve ever known before . ‘[54-victoria] [Sarah]54-victoria . It ’s nice to see [you]54-victoria . ’ [I]54-victoria clasp a lock of [my]54-victoria hair and start fiddling with it , as [I]54-victoria consider [her]832-ava motives for paying [me]54-victoria a visit . [She]832-ava looks down at [me]54-victoria sat on the floor . [I]54-victoria notice [her]832-ava pouty , red lips look super inflated today . [She]832-ava ’s definitely had work there . [My]54-victoria sitting position , in relation to [her]832-ava standing position , has [me]54-victoria feeling inferior to [her]832-ava . [I]54-victoria ’d get up , if [my]54-victoria backside was n’t numb and [I]54-victoria could be sure [I]54-victoria would n’t crumble back down to the floor in a heap . ‘[54-victoria] Working on a Sunday , ’ [she]832-ava muses as [she]832-ava gazes around [the empty room]2977-the empty room . ‘[54-victoria] Do all of [[your]1314-you clients]1315-your clients get the same special treatment [you]1314-you offer [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’ Oh , what [a bitch]2978-a bitch ! [Her]832-ava motive is suddenly very clear . ‘[327-jesse] No , ’ [I]327-jesse smile , ‘[327-jesse] Just [Jesse]327-jesse . ’ [My]327-jesse unkind thoughts are justified . [She]832-ava really dislikes [me]327-jesse , as opposed to just disliking [me]327-jesse . [She]832-ava could possibly even hate [me]327-jesse . Why ? ‘[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse ’s a bit mature for [you]1314-you , is n’t [he]327-jesse ? ’ [She]1316-her folds [her]1316-her arms under [her]1316-her ample chest , and [I]327-jesse conclude that [she]1316-her ’s probably had those done too . [I]327-jesse do n’t want [her]1316-her to know that [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] unaware of [Jesse]327-jesse ’s age . [She]1316-her undoubtedly knows . And the fact that [she]1316-her does and [I]2342-matt do n’t , really bristles [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]1316-her do n’t think so . ’[1316-her] [I]2342-matt retort sweetly . [I]2342-matt really want to get up from the floor so the nasty bit of work is n’t looking down at [me]2342-matt . What ’s it got to do with [her]1316-her ? [Her]1316-her pouty face displays an abundance of displeasure at [me]2342-matt being [here]314-here and that , strangely , has [me]2342-matt feeling displeased about being [here]314-here too . [I]2342-matt should have stayed at [home]281-home . [I]2342-matt do n’t need this ‘ So , what is it about [my]1319-my jesse [Jesse]327-jesse that has [you]1319-my jesse giving up [your]1319-my jesse free time to work ? ’[1319-my jesse] [[My]2342-matt Jesse]1319-my jesse ? ‘ [I]1319-my jesse ’m[1319-my jesse] not sure what business that is of [yours]1319-my jesse . ’ ‘[1319-my jesse] Maybe , it ’s [his]1319-my jesse money ? ’ [She]1320-this horrible woman raises [her]1320-this horrible woman already stupidly arched eyebrow . [Botox]188-botox ! ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not interested in [Jesse]327-jesse ’s wealth . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt retaliate shortly . [I]2342-matt ’m in love with [him]327-jesse ! ‘[2342-matt] Of course , [you]2342-matt ’re not . ’[1320-this horrible woman] [She]1320-this horrible woman wanders over to the window , casually and cockily , before turning back to face [me]2342-matt , [her]1320-this horrible woman face as cold as [her]1320-this horrible woman voice . ‘ [Be]189-be warned , [Ava]832-ava . [Jesse]327-jesse is not [the sort of man [you]2342-matt build [your]2342-matt dreams on]2979-the sort of man you build your dreams on . ’[1320-this horrible woman] [I]2342-matt stare [her]1320-this horrible woman straight in the eye , trying to mimic [her]1320-this horrible woman cold face and tone . It ’s not hard – it comes naturally with [this horrible woman]1320-this horrible woman . ‘ Thank [you]1320-this horrible woman for the warning , but [I]1320-this horrible woman think [I]1320-this horrible woman ’m[1320-this horrible woman] grown up enough to decide who [I]2342-matt build [my]2342-matt dreams on . ’ [My]1320-this horrible woman heart has taken a nose dive into [my]1320-this horrible woman stomach . [She]1320-this horrible woman scoffs mildly . It ’s in pity . It makes [me]1320-this horrible woman feel crap . ‘[1320-this horrible woman] [Little girl]1320-this horrible woman , jump out of [your]1320-this horrible woman fairy tale and open [your]1320-this horrible woman e … ’ The door opens and [Jesse]327-jesse strides in . [He]327-jesse looks at [me]1320-this horrible woman slumped on the floor and at [Sarah]54-victoria stood at the window . ‘[1320-this horrible woman] All right ? ’ [he]327-jesse asks [Sarah]54-victoria . [I]1320-this horrible woman recoil on the inside . Why the hell is [he]327-jesse asking [her]1320-this horrible woman for ? [She]1320-this horrible woman ’s fine , stood over there throwing [her]1320-this horrible woman warnings out . It ’s [me]1320-this horrible woman , sat here with a dead arse , [he]327-jesse ought to be asking . [I]1320-this horrible woman ’m[1320-this horrible woman] even more stunned when [she]1320-this horrible woman plasters on a ridiculously fake smile and walks over to [him]1321-him – all straight backed with [her]1320-this horrible woman chest thrust forward . ‘ Yes , [sweetie]1322-sweetie . [Ava]832-ava and [I]1320-this horrible woman were just discussing [the new rooms]2980-the new rooms . [She]1320-this horrible woman has some fabulous ideas . ’[1320-this horrible woman] [She]1320-this horrible woman rubs [his]1321-him shoulder . [I]2342-matt want to prize [her]1320-this horrible woman fake nails off of [her]1320-this horrible woman fingers . [The bloody lying bitch]1322-sweetie ! [He]1322-sweetie ’s not going to fall for that , surely ? The satisfied smile [he]1322-sweetie gives [her]1320-this horrible woman , before turning it on [me]2342-matt , tells [me]2342-matt [he]1322-sweetie has . The blind twat ! ‘ [She]1322-sweetie ’s good . ’[1322-sweetie] [he]1322-sweetie says proudly . [He]1322-sweetie ’s making [me]2342-matt feel like [a fucking kid]1323-a fucking kid . ‘ Yes , very talented . ’[54-victoria] [Sarah]54-victoria purrs , smiling slyly at [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]54-victoria ’ll leave [you]54-victoria to it . ’[54-victoria] [She]54-victoria leans up and kisses [his]1322-sweetie cheek . [I]2342-matt burn with rage . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , it was lovely to see [you]54-victoria again . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt muster up the decency to smile at the beast . ‘ And [you]54-victoria , [Sarah]54-victoria . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hope [she]54-victoria detects the insincerity in [my]2342-matt tone ; [I]2342-matt ’ve never been more insincere in [my]2342-matt life . [She]54-victoria leaves [the room]2350-the room and [me]2342-matt alone with [Jesse]327-jesse . Why did [I]2342-matt come here , and what role does [that woman]54-victoria play in [Jesse]327-jesse ’s life ? [She]54-victoria ’s been [here]314-here every time [I]2342-matt have . And [she]54-victoria was at the Lusso launch too . Will [I]2342-matt ever escape the wily cow ? [She]54-victoria wants [me]2342-matt gone , and there is only one reason [she]54-victoria would want that … [she]54-victoria wants [Jesse]327-jesse . The thought of [him]327-jesse being with [anyone else]587-someone makes [my]2342-matt heart constrict in pain , makes [me]2342-matt want to hurt [someone]587-someone . [I]2342-matt ’ve never been [the jealous type]1327-the jealous type , nor clingy or needy . But [I]2342-matt can feel all of these new feelings racing to the surface , swamping [my]2342-matt entire being . [I]2342-matt ’m not comfortable with it . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] in big trouble here – big , fucking , shitting trouble . [She]54-victoria said [Jesse]327-jesse is n’t [the sort of man [you]1329-you build [your]1329-you dreams on]2979-the sort of man you build your dreams on . [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt already know that . ‘ Let ’s have a look then , [lady]54-victoria . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse slides down the wall next to [me]2342-matt , reaching over for the pad . ‘ Wow ! [I]327-jesse love that bed . ’[327-jesse] ‘ So do [I.]2342-matt ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt admit sullenly . The enthusiasm for [my]2342-matt idea has been sucked right out of [me]2342-matt . ‘ What ’s all this ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse points to the canopy on the bed . ‘ It ’s a lattice design . All the wooden beams overlap to form a grind like affect . ’[327-jesse] ‘ So [you]1329-you can hang things from [them]2981-them ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse looks at [me]2342-matt inquisitively . ‘ Yes , like material , or lights , maybe . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shrug . [His]327-jesse mouth forms an O as [he]327-jesse grasps [my]2342-matt concept . ‘ What colours did [you]1329-you have in mind ? ’[327-jesse] ‘ Black and gold , ’[327-jesse] ‘ [I]327-jesse love it , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse brushes [his]327-jesse hand over the drawing . ‘ When can [we]2982-we start ? ’[327-jesse] Huh ? ‘ It ’s only a draft . [I]2342-matt have to do some mood boards , scale drawings , lighting plans , that sort of thing . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know if [I]2342-matt ’ll be doing any of those things . [I]2342-matt ’ve fallen into a deep state of depression after being ejected from [[his]327-jesse office]279-the office and warned off by [Sarah]54-victoria . [I]2342-matt ’ve got to seriously re - think what [I]2342-matt ’m doing here . ‘[2342-matt] Will [you]1331-you take [me]2342-matt [home]281-home ? ’ [His]327-jesse head shoots up , [his]327-jesse green eyes laced with concern . ‘[1331-you] Are [you]1331-you okay ? ’ [I]2342-matt push [my]2342-matt numb backside up from the floor , using every ounce of strength [I]2342-matt have to plaster a smile – as fake as [Sarah]54-victoria ’s – onto [my]2342-matt face . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m fine . [I]2342-matt ’ve got some work stuff to sort out for tomorrow . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smooth [my]2342-matt dress down . ‘ [I]2342-matt thought [you]1331-you did n’t work on weekends ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ It ’s only work - ish . ’[1333-he] ‘ -ish ? ’[1333-he] [He]1333-he looks up at [me]2342-matt with a small smile . [I]2342-matt could cry . ‘ Yes , [ish]1333-he , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shrug . Take [me]2342-matt [home]281-home so [I]2342-matt can think without [you]1331-you there to distract [me]2342-matt with [your]1331-you beautiful face and body . ‘ Okay , ’[1333-he] [He]1333-he gets up from the floor with ease and hands [me]2342-matt back the pad . ‘ Are [you]1331-you sure [you]1331-you ’re[1333-he] okay ? ’ [he]1333-he presses . [I]2342-matt maintain [my]2342-matt fake smile . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m fine , why would n’t [I]2342-matt be ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt fight [my]2342-matt hand back to [my]2342-matt side when it reaches up to grab a piece of hair . [He]1333-he eyes [me]2342-matt suspiciously . ‘ Come on then . ’[1333-he] [He]1333-he takes [my]2342-matt bag and fills [my]2342-matt empty hand with [his]1333-he . ‘ The tray , ’[1333-he] ‘ [Pete]185-pete will get it . ’[1333-he] [He]1333-he dismisses [my]2342-matt concern and leads [me]2342-matt out of [the room]2350-the room , back [downstairs]2323-downstairs . [I]2342-matt want to release [my]2342-matt hand from [his]1333-he , but [I]2342-matt do n’t want to give [him]1333-he any reason to suspect [I]2342-matt ’m anything other than fine . It ’s hard , especially when [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] the furthest away from fine that [I]2342-matt could possibly be . The more [I]2342-matt touch [him]1333-he , the more attached to [him]1333-he [I]2342-matt ’m becoming . As [we]2983-we land in [the entrance hall]356-the entrance hall , [Jesse]327-jesse glances around nervously . ‘[2342-matt] Wait here , [I]2342-matt need to get [my]2342-matt phone and keys . Actually , go and get in [the car]548-the car . It ’s open . ’ [I]1322-sweetie frown as [he]1333-he ushers [me]1322-sweetie out of the door before [he]1333-he jogs off towards [[his]1333-he office]279-the office . [I]1322-sweetie take [myself]1322-sweetie down the steps of [The Manor]2356-the manor , across [the gravel]2987-the gravel to [the DBS]43-the dbs . Before [I]1322-sweetie make it to [the car]548-the car , [I]1322-sweetie hear the laughing of a certain acid tongued , pouty faced beast . [I]1322-sweetie tense from top to toe and swivel on [the gravel]2987-the gravel , only to find [her]1322-sweetie stood at the top of the steps with [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘[1322-sweetie] Okay , [sweetie]1322-sweetie . See [you]1322-sweetie later . ’ [She]1322-sweetie reaches up and kisses [his]1333-he cheek . [I]1322-sweetie heave . ‘[1322-sweetie] Hope to see [you]1322-sweetie again , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [she]1322-sweetie calls . [Her]1322-sweetie icy stare penetrates [me]832-ava as [Jesse]327-jesse approaches and gives [me]832-ava [my]832-ava bag before taking [my]832-ava hand again . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] put in [the car]2476-his car , and as soon as the engine is started , [my]2342-matt ears are invaded with [Radiohead]190-radiohead ’s Creep . [I]2342-matt smile to [myself]2342-matt . Yes , why [I]2342-matt ’m here , is a damn good question . Chapter 22 [I]2342-matt leave [Jesse]327-jesse with a chaste kiss and a look of trepidation all over [his]327-jesse stunning face . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll call [you]1322-sweetie . ’ [I]2342-matt say casually , jumping out of [[his]327-jesse car]2476-his car . [I]2342-matt ca n’t get away quick enough . [I]2342-matt shut the car door and hurry up the path to [[Kate]2557-kate ’s house]2988-kate ’s house . [I]2342-matt do n’t look back , shutting the door swiftly behind [me]2342-matt and sagging against it . ‘[2342-matt] Hey ! ’ [Kate]2557-kate appears at the top of [the stairs]272-the stairs with a towel wrapped around [her]2557-kate . ‘[1322-sweetie] [You]1322-sweetie okay ? ’ [I]1322-sweetie ca n’t plaster the fake smile on anymore . ‘[1322-sweetie] No , ’ [I]1322-sweetie admit . [I]1322-sweetie ’m[1322-sweetie] way past being okay . [She]1322-sweetie looks at [me]2342-matt with a mixture of confusion and sympathy . ‘ Tea ? ’[1322-sweetie] [I]2342-matt nod , peeling [myself]2342-matt from the door . ‘ Please do n’t be too nice to [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt warn . Tears are threatening , and [I]2342-matt ’m willing [myself]1914-sam to keep [them]272-the stairs under control . [I]1914-sam knew this would happen . Not this soon , but this nasty aching heart business was inevitable . [She]1322-sweetie smiles , knowingly , and jerks [her]1322-sweetie head . [I]1914-sam drag [myself]1914-sam up [the stairs]272-the stairs , finding [her]1322-sweetie in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen making tea . [I]1914-sam collapse in one of the mismatching chairs . ‘[1914-sam] Has [Sam]1914-sam gone ? ’ [She]1322-sweetie spoons three sugars into [her]1322-sweetie mug , and even though [her]1322-sweetie back is turned away from [me]1914-sam , [I]1914-sam know [she]1322-sweetie ’s grinning . ‘[1914-sam] Yeah . ’ [she]1322-sweetie says , way too casually . ‘[1914-sam] Good night ? ’ [She]1322-sweetie turns , narrowing [her]1322-sweetie bright blues on [me]2342-matt before [she]1322-sweetie grins . ‘[2342-matt] [The man]2342-matt ’s an animal ! ’ [I]2342-matt scoff at [her]1322-sweetie description of [Sam]1914-sam . There ’s [a certain someone else [I]2342-matt]2992-a certain someone else i could nail that descriptor to . ‘[2342-matt] Good ? ’ [She]1322-sweetie pours boiling water into the mugs and adds milk . ‘[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt ’s all right . ’ [She]1322-sweetie shrugs . ‘[2342-matt] That ’s enough about [me]2342-matt . Why did [you]2342-matt leave this morning looking like [you]2342-matt ’d had a similar night to [me]2342-matt , and return a few hours later looking like [you]2342-matt ’ve been slapped ? ’ [She]1341-she takes a seat , handing [me]2342-matt [my]2342-matt tea . [I]2342-matt sigh . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not going to see [him]2342-matt again . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Why ? ’[1341-she] [she]1341-she cries . [I]2342-matt look up at a shocked , pale face . Why is [she]1341-she so stunned by [my]2342-matt declaration ? ‘ Because [Kate]2557-kate , without a shadow of a doubt , [I]1341-she ’m[1341-she] going to get stung really nastily . [He]2342-matt ’s hazardous . ’ ‘[2342-matt] How do [you]2342-matt know that ? ’ [she]1341-she asks incredulously . Well , that ’s easy . ‘[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt ’s [a mature business man]2342-matt , way beyond rich and confident . [I]2342-matt ’m just a little play thing to [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt ’ll get bored , toss [me]2342-matt away and move onto [someone else]2416-someone else . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt huff sarcastically . ‘ Trust [me]2342-matt … there will not be a shortage of [women]348-women throwing [themselves]348-women at [his]2342-matt feet . [I]2342-matt ’ve seen the reaction [he]2342-matt draws , [I]2342-matt ’ve experienced it . [He]2342-matt ’s incredibly fierce in [the bedroom]535-the bedroom – and bloody good with it – and that tells [me]2342-matt [he]2342-matt ’s not short of sexual conquests . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt draw breath , while [Kate]2557-kate looks at [me]2342-matt agape . ‘ [He]2342-matt ’s [a woman magnet]2996-a woman magnet , possibly [a womaniser]2997-a womaniser . [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] already getting a reaction from [Sarah]54-victoria . ’ [I]54-victoria slump back in [my]54-victoria chair , grabbing [my]54-victoria mug of tea . ‘[54-victoria] Who ’s [Sarah]54-victoria ? ’ ‘[395-a woman] [A friend]395-a woman , the one who [I]2342-matt thought was [the girlfriend]395-a woman . [She]395-a woman does n’t like [me]2342-matt , and [she]395-a woman ’s made it perfectly clear . ’ ‘[54-victoria] [You]54-victoria ’re not seriously jumping [ship]2998-ship because of a few bitchy words from [a woman]395-a woman scorned ? Tell [her]395-a woman to fuck off ! ’[54-victoria] ‘ No , it ’s not just that , although [I]395-a woman really do n’t need claws digging in [my]395-a woman back . ’[395-a woman] [She]395-a woman rolls [her]395-a woman eyes . ‘ [[My]395-a woman friend]395-a woman , [you]395-a woman ’re[395-a woman] blind ! ’ ‘[2342-matt] No [I]2342-matt ’m not . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sensible , ’ [I]2342-matt defend [myself]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] And [you]54-victoria ’re bias . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt spit . [She]395-a woman ’s made it perfectly obvious [she]395-a woman likes [Jesse]327-jesse , but why oh why , [I]2342-matt do n’t know . ‘ Why do [you]54-victoria like [him]327-jesse so much ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]395-a woman do n’t know . ’[395-a woman] [She]395-a woman shrugs . ‘ There ’s just something about [him]327-jesse , is n’t there ? ’[395-a woman] ‘ Yes , and it ’s dangerous . ’[2342-matt] ‘ No , it ’s the way [he]327-jesse looks at [you]54-victoria , like [you]54-victoria ’re[327-jesse] the centre of [his]327-jesse universe of something . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t be stupid ! [I]2342-matt ’m the centre of [his]327-jesse sex life . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt correct [her]395-a woman , suddenly considering the fact that [I]2342-matt could , quite possibly , be [one of many women [he]327-jesse ’s showing a good time to]1343-one of many women he ’s showing a good time to . The thought is painful and another reason to walk away while [I]2342-matt ’m still partly intact . Oh , who am [I]2342-matt kidding ? [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] already in pieces , but it ’s only going to get worse the longer [I]2342-matt let this go on . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [you]832-ava ’re[1344-the master of denial] [the master of denial]1344-the master of denial . ’ [she]395-a woman scorns [me]2342-matt lightly . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not in denial . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , [you]832-ava are , ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate states firmly . ‘ [You]832-ava ’ve fallen in love with [him]1344-the master of denial . It ’s easy to see why . ’[2557-kate] ‘ [I]1344-the master of denial ’m[1344-the master of denial] not in denial . ’ [I]1344-the master of denial affirm , because [I]1344-the master of denial do n’t know what else to say to that . Is it that obvious ? [I]1344-the master of denial ’m[1344-the master of denial] denying it all the way . It should make this painful process easier to bear . ‘ [I]1344-the master of denial ’m[1344-the master of denial] going to lie down . ’ [I]1344-the master of denial push [my]1344-the master of denial chair away from behind [my]1344-the master of denial legs and it scraps along the wooden floor . [I]1344-the master of denial wince at the piercing sound . The hangover ’s back with a vengeance . ‘[1344-the master of denial] Okay . ’ [Kate]2557-kate sighs . [I]1344-the master of denial leave [her]2557-kate in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen to retreat to the sanctuary of [[my]1344-the master of denial room]2682-my room , flopping on the bed and pulling a pillow over [my]1344-the master of denial head . [I]1344-the master of denial hate to admit it , but [that pouty bitch]3002-that pouty bitch is right . [I]1344-the master of denial ca n’t build [my]1344-the master of denial dreams of [Jesse Ward]327-jesse . The thought is like a knife through [my]1344-the master of denial splitting heart . * * * [I]1344-the master of denial walk into [the office]279-the office for a fresh week , feeling anything but fresh . [I]1344-the master of denial did n’t sleep a wink , and [I]1344-the master of denial ’m[1344-the master of denial] under no illusion as to why that is . ‘ Morning , flower , ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse calls from [[his]327-jesse office]279-the office . [He]327-jesse sounds better . ‘ Hi . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt try to sound chirpy but fail miserably . [I]2342-matt ca n’t even muster up the strength to feign cheerfulness . [I]2342-matt throw [my]2342-matt bag by [my]2342-matt desk and sit down to fire up [my]2342-matt computer . Within five seconds , [my]2342-matt desk is screaming in protest as [Patrick]327-jesse takes [his]327-jesse usual pew . [He]327-jesse looks much better as well . ‘ What ’s the state of play with [Van Der Haus]118-mikael ? ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse asks . This will be a project that [Patrick]327-jesse will keep a keen interest in . [I]2342-matt reach under [my]2342-matt desk to retrieve the small box of material samples that [I]2342-matt abandoned on Friday . ‘ These came on Friday , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say , laying some on [my]2342-matt desk . ‘ [He]327-jesse ’s emailed [me]327-jesse the specifics and sent the drawings over . ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse flicks through the pile of swatches – all in neutral tones of beige and creams , some patterned , some not . ‘ [They]1346-they ’re[1346-they] a bit boring , are n’t [they]1346-they ? ’ [he]327-jesse grunts disapprovingly . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t think so , ’ [I]2342-matt pull out a lovely , thick striped piece . ‘[2342-matt] Look . ’ [He]327-jesse turns [his]327-jesse nose up . ‘[2342-matt] Not [my]2342-matt cup of tea . ’ ‘[2342-matt] It does n’t have to be . ’ [I]2342-matt remind [him]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse ’s not going to be buying [a posh apartment in [The Life Building]2829-the life building]2829-the life building . ‘[2342-matt] [Mr Van Der Haus]117-mr van der haus is back from [Denmark]37-denmark today . [He]117-mr van der haus said [he]117-mr van der haus would call about a site visit . [I]2342-matt ’m going to crack on , if [you]3004-you do n’t mind . ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse stands , and [I]2342-matt perform [my]2342-matt usual wince as the desk creaks . ‘ Yes , [you]2342-matt carry on , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse eyes [me]2342-matt suspiciously . ‘ Tell [me]327-jesse to mind [my]327-jesse own if [you]2342-matt like , but [you]2342-matt do n’t seem [yourself]2342-matt . Is there anything the matter ? ’[327-jesse] ‘ No , [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] fine , honestly . ’ [I]327-jesse lie . ‘[327-jesse] Are [you]2342-matt sure ? ’ No ! ‘[327-jesse] Yes , [Patrick]327-jesse . ’ [I]327-jesse try , and fail terribly , to sound sure . [My]327-jesse phone starts jumping around [my]327-jesse desk and [Sam Sparro]1914-sam ’s Black and [Gold]192-gold blares around [the office]279-the office . [I]327-jesse frown , picking it up to see [Jesse]327-jesse ’s name flashing on the screen . [He]327-jesse ’s been messing with [my]327-jesse phone again . [My]327-jesse heart flutters and not in a good way . [I]327-jesse ca n’t speak to [him]327-jesse . ‘[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt ’ll let [you]2342-matt get that , flower . Keep that pretty little chin up . That ’s an order ! ’ [Patrick]327-jesse leaves [me]327-jesse as [I]327-jesse silence [my]327-jesse phone , but no sooner has it stopped , it starts replaying again . [I]327-jesse push the button to shut it up , placing it on [my]327-jesse desk and throwing [myself]327-jesse into some work . [I]327-jesse find the email from [Mikael]118-mikael . It ’s brief , but there ’s enough information for [me]327-jesse to start compiling [my]327-jesse designs . Fifteen minutes later , [my]327-jesse phone is still ringing and [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] getting sick of the track and sick of reaching over to shut the damn thing up . [I]2342-matt was delusional if [I]2342-matt thought [he]1347-he was going to make this simple for [me]2342-matt . [My]2342-matt text alert starts chiming , but instead of deleting it – which would be the sensible option – [I]2342-matt open it . ANSWER [YOUR]1348-your PHONE ! Oh , here [we]1349-we go . [Sam Sparro]1914-sam starts playing up again , and [I]2342-matt silence [my]2342-matt phone … again . [I]2342-matt ’m never going to get any work done at this rate . Then there ’s another text . [Ava]832-ava , speak to [me]2342-matt , please . What have [I]2342-matt done ? [I]2342-matt pop it in [my]2342-matt top draw and try to forget about [him]1347-he . What has [he]1347-he done ? Nothing really , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sure , if [I]2342-matt give [him]1347-he the opportunity , [he]1347-he will . Or will [he]1347-he ? Oh , [I]2342-matt do n’t know . But instinct tells [me]2342-matt to walk away . ‘ [Sal]54-victoria , if [anyone]2475-anyone calls [the office]279-the office [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] on [my]2342-matt mobile , okay ? ’ [I]832-ava know that will probably be [his]1347-he next move . ‘[832-ava] Okay , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [I]832-ava start cracking on with [my]832-ava mood boards and drawings for [Mikael]118-mikael . [I]832-ava ’ve not even seen [the apartments]3008-the apartments yet , but [I]832-ava have a good idea of where [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] going with this and , surprisingly to [me]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt ’m quite excited . [I]2342-matt pop to the deli at lunch time to grab a sandwich , returning to [the office]279-the office to eat it . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] informed by [Sally]54-victoria that [a man called while [I]2342-matt was out]1350-a man called while i was out , but [he]1350-a man called while i was out did n’t leave a message . Of course , [I]2342-matt know who it is , but [I]2342-matt ’m on a roll and [I]2342-matt do n’t want to interrupt [my]2342-matt momentum , so [I]2342-matt disregard [his]1350-a man called while i was out persistence . With [Victoria]54-victoria and [Tom]60-tom out of [the office]279-the office all day on various appointments , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not being side tracked with drama from [Victoria]54-victoria and seedy stories from [Tom]60-tom . [I]2342-matt ca n’t let [Jesse]327-jesse distract [me]2342-matt either . [I]2342-matt persistently ignore [my]2342-matt phone , except when [Mikael]118-mikael calls to arrange a meeting for tomorrow . [He]1350-a man called while i was out ’s stuck in [Denmark]37-denmark for the rest of the week , so [I]2342-matt ’m meeting [his]1350-a man called while i was out PA at [The Life Building]2829-the life building at nine in the morning . As six o’clock hits , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] satisfied with [my]2342-matt productive day and glad [I]2342-matt knuckled down . The day has flown by . Crawling through the front door , [I]2342-matt find [an empty house]1351-an empty house . [I]2342-matt ’m absolutely shattered . It ’s a combination of the after effects from [my]2342-matt Saturday night blow out and the Jesse saga . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] rubbish at hangovers . [They]1352-they last longer than the average day for [me]2342-matt . [My]2342-matt Monday night cheeky glass of wine will not be happening tonight . [I]2342-matt take [myself]2342-matt to [[my]2342-matt room]2682-my room and strip down to shower , gazing up at the ceiling for strength when [my]2342-matt phone starts ringing again . [This man]327-jesse is not going to make this easy on [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt know it . But then [I]2342-matt realise … it ’s not [Black]193-black and Gold . [I]2342-matt ’ve endured the damn track all bloody day , knocking [my]2342-matt phone to silent each time . [I]2342-matt ’m pleasantly surprised when [I]2342-matt see “ Mum Mobile ” flash up . [I]2342-matt listen to [her]3012-her for twenty minutes as [she]3012-her gives [me]2342-matt the full itinerary of [Dan]93-dan ’s journey from [Australia]14-australia to [Heathrow]17-heathrow . Bottom line … he’ll arrive next Monday morning , spend the week in [Newquay]19-newquay and return to [London]5-london on the Saturday . After checking all is well in [Newquay]19-newquay , [I]2342-matt go to take a shower . [Sam Sparro]1914-sam starts shrieking about Black and Gold again , and [I]2342-matt turn [my]2342-matt phone to silent … again . If [I]2342-matt ca n’t hear it ring , then [I]2342-matt wo n’t be tempted to answer the thing . After [my]2342-matt shower , [I]2342-matt fall into bed and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] asleep as soon as [my]2342-matt head hits the pillow . ‘ Wake up sleepy head ! ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate ’s shrill voice stabs at [my]2342-matt eardrums . [I]2342-matt roll over and look at [my]2342-matt clock . In a blind panic , [I]2342-matt clamber out of bed and try to gain a bit of composure . It ’s eight O fucking clock ! [I]2342-matt ’ve slept for thirteen hours . Christ , [I]2342-matt must have needed that . ‘ Why did n’t [you]44-mikael ’s pa wake [me]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt yell as [I]2342-matt hot foot it across the landing to the shower . [I]2342-matt ’ve got to be at [The Life Building]2829-the life building in an hour to meet [Mikael ’s PA]44-mikael ’s pa . ‘ [I]2557-kate was asleep [myself]2557-kate . ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate replies , all happy and fresh . Why is [she]2557-kate so bright eyed and bushy tailed ? [I]2342-matt soon find out when [I]2342-matt collide with [Sam]1914-sam ’s half naked body coming out of [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom . ‘ [Easy chick]3013-easy chick ! ’[1914-sam] [he]1914-sam laughs , steadying [me]2342-matt with [his]1914-sam hands . [I]2342-matt rip [my]2342-matt eyes away from [his]1914-sam fine physic . ‘ Sorry ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blurt , highly embarrassed . Does [the man]1914-sam always wander around [[women]348-women ’s apartments semi clothed]1358-women ’s apartments semi clothed ? [His]1914-sam infectious grin reveals [his]1914-sam cute dimple as [he]1914-sam steps to the side and bows . ‘ It ’s all [yours]3014-yours . ’[1914-sam] [I]2342-matt dart in and slam the door to hide [my]2342-matt red face , but [I]2342-matt do n’t have time to dwell on [my]2342-matt embarrassment . [I]2342-matt jump in the shower and wash [my]2342-matt damp hair , peg it across the landing in [my]2342-matt towel to the safety of [[my]2342-matt room]2682-my room and fly around in a frenzy getting ready . It ’s now that [I]2342-matt ’m glad [I]2342-matt had such a good sort out , finding everything [I]2342-matt need at first look . [I]2342-matt throw on [my]2342-matt blush dress , nude heels and rough dry [my]2342-matt hair before piling it up . A quick sweep of powder , blusher and mascara , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] all set . [I]2342-matt ’ve never got ready so quickly . [I]2342-matt take [my]2342-matt phone off charge and clear the forty two missed calls from [Jesse]327-jesse before throwing it in [my]2342-matt bag . Flying into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , [I]2342-matt find [Sam]1914-sam and [Kate]2557-kate sat at the table . Has [no one else]1181-no one else got work today ? [Sam]1914-sam looks up from [his]1914-sam bowl of cornflakes and grins . ‘ Seen [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’[1914-sam] [he]1914-sam asks . [I]2342-matt halt , mid - frenzy , and look at [him]1914-sam . [He]1914-sam ’s still grinning at [me]2342-matt . ‘ No , why are [you]2342-matt asking [me]1914-sam ? ’[1914-sam] ‘ Have [you]2342-matt been in [your]2342-matt pit all night ? ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate asks , completely confused . ‘ Yes , [I]2557-kate got in from work about six thirty and collapsed into bed . And [you]2342-matt ca n’t call it a pit anymore . ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt correct [her]2557-kate proudly . ‘ Why ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt watch as [Kate]2557-kate looks at [Sam]1914-sam , and [Sam]1914-sam looks at [Kate]2557-kate , then [they]1362-they both look at [me]2342-matt . [They]1362-they both look confused and slightly worried . ‘ [You]2557-kate ’ve not seen or spoken to [him]1914-sam ? ’[1362-they] [Sam]1914-sam asks , [his]1914-sam spoon hovering in mid - air on its way to [his]1914-sam mouth . ‘ No ! ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt tone is impatient . What ’s the matter with [them]1362-they ? [I]2342-matt do n’t plan on seeing or speaking to [him]1914-sam ever again . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not stitched to [his]1914-sam hip . ’ [I]1914-sam spit harshly . ‘[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam rang [me]2342-matt five times last night , looking for [you]2342-matt , ’ [Kate]2557-kate explains . ‘[1914-sam] [Me]2342-matt ten ! ’ [Sam]1914-sam interrupts . [Kate]2557-kate looks truly concerned . ‘[1363-i] [We]1363-i got in about eight and assumed [you]2342-matt were still at work . [He]1914-sam was frantic , [Ava]832-ava . [We]1363-i tried calling [you]2342-matt . ’ Oh , [I]1363-i ’ve not got time for this . What does [he]1914-sam think ’s happened to [me]1363-i ? [The man]1914-sam is neurotic , and [I]1363-i ’m[1363-i] certainly not [his]1914-sam concern . ‘ [My]1363-i phone was on silent . Anyway , as [you]2342-matt can see , [I]1363-i ’m[1363-i] alive and well so if [he]1914-sam rings again [you]2342-matt can tell [him]1914-sam so . ’ [I]2342-matt huff shortly . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m going , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] late . ’ [I]2342-matt turn to leave [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . ‘[2342-matt] When [he]1914-sam stopped calling , [I]2342-matt assumed [you]2342-matt were with [him]1914-sam . ’ [Kate]2557-kate calls to [my]2342-matt back as [I]2342-matt leave . ‘[2342-matt] Well , [I]2342-matt was n’t . ’ [I]2342-matt shout on [my]2342-matt way down [the stairs]272-the stairs . [I]2342-matt arrive at The Life Building bang of time , in a bit of a fluster , to meet [a petite , blonde lady in [the lobby]3017-the lobby]832-ava . [She]832-ava ’s middle aged and very pixie looking , with sharp features and cropped hair . [Her]832-ava plain black business suit does nothing for [her]832-ava pale complexion . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt must be [Miss O’Shea]832-ava , ’ [She]832-ava holds [her]832-ava pasty hand out to [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m [Ingrid]194-ingrid . [Mikael]118-mikael advised [you]194-ingrid that [I]832-ava would be here , yes ? ’[832-ava] [Her]832-ava Danish accent is very strong . ‘ [Ingrid]194-ingrid , call [me]832-ava [Ava]832-ava , please . ’[832-ava] [I]2342-matt take [her]832-ava hand , shaking it lightly . [She]832-ava looks so fragile . [She]832-ava smiles and nods . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , of course , ’[832-ava] ‘ [Mikael]118-mikael called [me]832-ava yesterday to tell [me]832-ava [he]118-mikael ’s held up in [Denmark]37-denmark . ’[832-ava] ‘ Yes , [he]118-mikael is . [I]832-ava ’ll give [you]832-ava the tour . Works are not quite finished so [you]832-ava ’ll need to put these on . ’[832-ava] [She]832-ava hands [me]2342-matt a yellow hard hat and hi - visibility vest . [I]2342-matt slip on the safety kit , while considering what [I]2342-matt must look like in [[my]2342-matt lady]2921-my lady - like , blush dress and this get up . [I]2342-matt panic for a moment , worried that [she]2921-my lady might make [me]2342-matt put on some steel toe cap boots , but [she]2921-my lady presses the button for [the elevator]780-the elevator and [my]2342-matt worries disappear . ‘ [We]1366-we ’ll start in [the penthouse]780-the elevator . It ’s very similar to the layout of [Lusso]66-lusso . ’[2921-my lady] [The elevator]780-the elevator arrives and [we]1366-we step inside . ‘ [You]1367-you ’re[2921-my lady] familiar with [Lusso]66-lusso , of course . ’ [She]2921-my lady smiles , revealing a mouth full of straight teeth . [I]2921-my lady like [her]2921-my lady . ‘[2921-my lady] Yes , [I]2342-matt ’m familiar with [Lusso]66-lusso . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt return [her]66-lusso friendly smile . More familiar than [you]1367-you know ! [I]2342-matt snap a lid on [my]2342-matt drifting thoughts immediately . [I]2342-matt must not think about [him]1368-him . [I]2342-matt must not think about [him]1368-him . [I]2342-matt repeat the mantra all the way to [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse , while [Ingrid]194-ingrid explains the minor differences between [Lusso]66-lusso and [The Life Building]2829-the life building . There are not many . [The elevator]2332-the penthouse opens straight into [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse ; this is one of the differences . [Lusso]66-lusso has [a Penthouse foyer]1371-a penthouse foyer . [The underground parking]1372-the underground parking is the other . ‘ Here [we]3018-we are . After [you]1373-you , [Ava]832-ava , ’[194-ingrid] [I]2342-matt take [her]194-ingrid direction , walking into a vastness [I]2342-matt ’m familiar with . The size of [this Penthouse]2332-the penthouse must be almost exact to [Lusso]66-lusso . It looks bigger at the moment , standing an empty shell , but [I]2342-matt recall [Lusso]66-lusso feeling the same . ‘[2342-matt] [You]1373-you can see [we]1374-we used oak here . All of the windows and doors are bespoke and made using sustainable wood . [I]2342-matt ’m sure [Mikael]118-mikael has advised [you]1373-you of this part of the specification in the email [he]118-mikael sent [you]1373-you . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt glance at [her]194-ingrid . [She]194-ingrid must catch [my]2342-matt blank expression because [she]194-ingrid laughs , shaking [her]194-ingrid head . ‘ [He]118-mikael did n’t mention it in [his]118-mikael email ? ’[194-ingrid] ‘ No , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt reply , praying that [I]2342-matt read it properly , and in full . ‘ [You]1373-you ’ll have to forgive [him]1375-him . [He]1375-him ’s slightly sidetracked with [his]1375-him divorce . ’[2342-matt] Divorce ? Oh , is that what ’s held [him]1375-him up in [Denmark]37-denmark ? [I]2342-matt think it slightly inappropriate that [she]194-ingrid ’s told [me]2342-matt such a private part of [Mikael]118-mikael ’s personal life . [Everyone]282-everyone is being so open and honest these days . Or am [I]2342-matt just being closed and guarded ? ‘ Consider [me]2342-matt advised . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile . Over the next few hours , [Ingrid]194-ingrid walks [me]2342-matt through [the entire building]2829-the life building . [I]2342-matt take photographs of [the spaces]1377-the spaces , making notes en - route . [The Life Building]2829-the life building houses the same luxuries [Lusso]66-lusso offers to [[its]2829-the life building residents]1378-its residents – [a luxury health club]1379-a luxury health club , a twenty four hour concierge and the latest security systems . The list goes on . [Mikael]118-mikael and [[his]118-mikael partner]1380-his partner certainly know how to deliver on modern , luxury living . The views over [Holland Park]24-holland park and [the city]2326-the city are incredible . [We]1382-we find [ourselves]1382-we back in [the main foyer]1383-the main foyer . ‘ Thank [you]832-ava for the tour , [Ingrid]194-ingrid . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt remove [my]2342-matt fetching hat and vest . ‘ [You]832-ava ’re[832-ava] welcome , [Ava]832-ava . Do [you]832-ava have everything [you]832-ava need ? ’ ‘[832-ava] Yes , [I]2342-matt ’ll wait to hear from [Mikael]118-mikael . ’ ‘[118-mikael] [He]118-mikael said [he]118-mikael would call [you]832-ava on Monday . ’ [she]832-ava says as [she]832-ava shakes [my]118-mikael hand . [We]1382-we say [our]1382-we goodbyes , and [I]118-mikael leave [Ingrid]194-ingrid and [The Life Building]279-the office , heading back to [the office]279-the office . [I]118-mikael call [[my]118-mikael doctors]3020-my doctors surgery on [my]118-mikael way ; [I]118-mikael need to replace [my]118-mikael pills . Where [they]3020-my doctors have gone is a bloody mystery . [I]118-mikael get an appointment for four o’clock today , which is a relief . Not that [I]118-mikael plan on having much sex anytime soon . [I]118-mikael ’ve had enough lately to see [me]118-mikael through for a while . ‘[118-mikael] Afternoon , ’ [I]195-oppsie sing to [Tom]60-tom and [Victoria]54-victoria as [I]195-oppsie walk into [the office]279-the office . [Tom]60-tom frowns and glances at the clock . ‘[195-oppsie] [Oppsie]195-oppsie ! [I]2342-matt ’m late for [Mrs Baines]64-mrs baines . [She]64-mrs baines ’ll be having kittens ! ’[195-oppsie] [He]195-oppsie jumps up from [his]195-oppsie desk , straightens [his]195-oppsie yellow and blue , stripy tie – which would n’t be so bad if [he]195-oppsie was n’t sporting an orange shirt – and tweaks [his]195-oppsie blonde quiff . ‘ [I]195-oppsie ’ll be back after [I]195-oppsie ’ve pacified the loopy old bird . ’[195-oppsie] [he]195-oppsie chants , collecting [his]195-oppsie man - bag and dancing out of [the office]279-the office . ‘ Bye . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt call , landing at [my]2342-matt desk . ‘ [You]2342-matt okay , [Victoria]54-victoria ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [She]1385-she ’s daydreaming . ‘ Hello ? ’[1385-she] [I]2342-matt call . ‘ Huh ? Oh , sorry . [I]2342-matt was miles away . What did [you]2342-matt say ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Are [you]2342-matt okay ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt prompt . [She]1385-she smiles brightly , flicking [her]1385-she long blonde locks over [her]1385-she shoulder . ‘ [I]1385-she could n’t be better . ’[1385-she] Of course . [I]2342-matt wonder if [her]1385-she good mood has something to do with [a certain standoffish , smart suited man called [Drew]327-jesse]1386-a certain standoffish , smart suited man called drew . [I]2342-matt have n’t seen [her]1385-she since Saturday night , but from what [I]2342-matt recall – before drunkenness rendered [me]2342-matt stupid – [she]1385-she and [Drew]327-jesse were looking rather friendly . Is [everyone]282-everyone getting it on at the moment ? ‘ And why is that ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask on a raised brow . [She]1385-she giggles like [a little girl]1388-a little girl . ‘ [I]1385-she have a date with [Drew]327-jesse on Friday night . ’[1385-she] [I]2342-matt knew it , although [I]2342-matt still ca n’t wrap [my]2342-matt brain around ditsy [Victoria]54-victoria and serious [Drew]327-jesse . ‘ Anywhere nice ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [She]1385-she shrugs . ‘ [He]1385-she did n’t say . [He]1385-she just asked if [he]1385-she could take [me]1385-she out . ’[1385-she] [Her]1385-she mobile rings and [she]1385-she excuses [herself]1385-she by waving it at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt turn [my]2342-matt attention to [my]2342-matt computer , silencing [my]2342-matt phone when it starts blurting Black and Gold . It ’s becoming automatic to just reach over and press the button on the side without even looking . After it ’s shouted at [me]2342-matt three times on the bounce , [I]2342-matt turn the sound off altogether . [The man]2342-matt is a persistent pain in the arse . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] off , ’ [Victoria]54-victoria calls , getting up from [her]1385-she desk . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll be back about four . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt wo n’t see [you]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’ve [a doctor]1390-a doctor ’s appointment at four . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Oh ? ’ [She]1385-she glances over on [her]1385-she way out . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt lost [my]2342-matt pills . ’ [I]2342-matt offer . [She]1385-she pulls a face that tells [me]2342-matt [she]1385-she ’s been there and done that . It makes [me]2342-matt feel slightly better for being so careless . [I]2342-matt start filtering through [my]2342-matt emails and take some copies of drawings to send to [[my]2342-matt contractors]3022-my contractors . When it hits three o’clock , [I]2342-matt go to make the coffee . [Sally]54-victoria always does it , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] relieved to ease [my]2342-matt eyes from [my]2342-matt bright computer screen . ‘ [Ava]832-ava ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hear [Sally]54-victoria call [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt poke [my]2342-matt head around the kitchen door , seeing [her]54-victoria waving the office phone . ‘ [A man on the phone for [you]3023-a man on the phone for you]3023-a man on the phone for you , [he]3023-a man on the phone for you wo n’t say who [he]3023-a man on the phone for you is . ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt heart jumps into [my]2342-matt throat . [I]2342-matt know damn well who it is . ‘ Is [he]3023-a man on the phone for you on hold ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , shall [I]2342-matt put [him]3023-a man on the phone for you through ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ No ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt yell , and [poor nervous Sally]54-victoria flinches . ‘ [I]54-victoria ’m[54-victoria] sorry . Tell [him]185-pete [I]2342-matt ’m out of [the office]279-the office . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Oh , okay . ’[54-victoria] [She]54-victoria looks all wide eyed and confused as [she]54-victoria pushes a button on the phone that will connect [her]54-victoria back to [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘ [I]185-pete ’m[185-pete] sorry , [Sir]185-pete . [Ava]832-ava is out of the offi … ’ [She]832-ava jumps a metre into the air , dropping the phone onto [her]832-ava desk with a loud clatter . [She]832-ava scrambles to pick it up again . ‘[832-ava] [I]2342-matt … [I]2342-matt … I’m … [I’m]2342-matt … sor … sorry , [Sir]185-pete … ’ [She]832-ava ’s stuttering and stammering all over [the place]308-the place , a good indication that [Jesse]327-jesse is yelling down the phone at [her]832-ava . [I]185-pete feel riddled with guilt for putting [her]832-ava through this . ‘[185-pete] [Sir]185-pete , please … [I]2342-matt … [I]2342-matt assure [you]185-pete … she’s … [she]832-ava ’s not here . ’ [I]832-ava watch as [she]832-ava freaks out at [her]832-ava desk , looking at [me]832-ava wide eyed and stunned as [she]832-ava ’s verbally assaulted by [Mr Neurotic]196-mr neurotic . [I]832-ava smile apologetically . [I]832-ava ’ll buy [her]832-ava some flowers . [She]832-ava drops the phone back into the cradle , looking at [me]832-ava in shock . ‘[832-ava] Who was that ? ’ [she]832-ava asks . [She]832-ava ’s going to cry . ‘[54-victoria] [Sally]54-victoria , [I]2342-matt ’m so sorry . ’[54-victoria] [I]2342-matt quickly grab the coffees from [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen – the only peace offering [I]2342-matt can lay [my]2342-matt hands on at the moment – and drop [Patrick]327-jesse ’s on [his]327-jesse desk , exiting sharply before [he]327-jesse can strike up a conversation . [I]2342-matt take [Sally]54-victoria ’s coffee to [her]54-victoria desk and place it on [her]54-victoria coaster . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] so sorry . ’ [I]587-someone hope [I]587-someone sound as guilty as [I]587-someone feel . [Sally]54-victoria blows out a long exasperated breath . ‘[587-someone] [Someone]587-someone needs a cuddle ! ’ [She]54-victoria starts giggling . [I]587-someone ’m[587-someone] completely stunned on the spot . [I]2342-matt was expecting tears and a nervous breakdown . Instead , dull as dish water [Sally]54-victoria has just cracked a joke . [I]2342-matt look at the mousey , plain [Jane]197-jane chuckling , and [I]2342-matt start laughing too – a proper bend over , tears in [my]2342-matt eyes , stomach cramping belly laugh . It feels so good . [Sally]54-victoria joins [me]2342-matt in [my]2342-matt hysteria as [we]1394-we both fall apart all over [the office]279-the office . ‘ What ’s going on ? ’[54-victoria] [Patrick]327-jesse ’s voice calls from [his]327-jesse desk . [I]2342-matt wave [my]2342-matt hand in the air to [him]327-jesse and [he]327-jesse rolls [his]327-jesse eyes , returning to [his]327-jesse computer on an exasperated head shake . [I]2342-matt could n’t tell [him]327-jesse , even if [I]2342-matt was in a fit state to talk . [I]2342-matt leave [Sally]54-victoria crying and head for [the toilet]440-the toilet to sort [myself]2342-matt out . Oh , that feels so good . [I]2342-matt ’ve seen [Sally]54-victoria in a whole new light . [I]2342-matt like sarcastic [Sally]54-victoria . When [I]2342-matt ’ve gathered [myself]2342-matt together and dabbed [my]2342-matt running mascara , [I]2342-matt let [Patrick]327-jesse know that [I]2342-matt ’m off for [a doctor]1390-a doctor ’s appointment . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sorry , [Sally]54-victoria , [I]2342-matt ca n’t look at [you]54-victoria ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt splutter as [I]2342-matt pass [her]54-victoria desk and leave [the office]279-the office , hearing [her]54-victoria laughing again . [I]2342-matt compose [myself]2342-matt and make [my]2342-matt way to the tube . Chapter 23 After receiving a lecture about carelessness from [Doctor Monroe]198-doctor monroe , [[our]1398-our life - long family doctor]1399-our life - long family doctor , [she]54-victoria gave [me]2342-matt a prescription for [my]2342-matt pills and sent [me]2342-matt on [my]2342-matt way , but not before checking how [Mum]577-mum and [Dad]581-dad are getting on in [Newquay]19-newquay . With [Dad]581-dad ’s health being the main reason for [their]1400-their winding down from [the big city]1401-the big city , [she]54-victoria was keen to hear all is well . [I]2342-matt stop off at [the chemist]1402-the chemist on the way [home]281-home , rolling in the door at just before six . It makes a change to be [home]281-home so early . [I]2342-matt ’m surprised to find [Kate]2557-kate is n’t [home]281-home , but [Margo]1052-margo is parked up outside so [she]2557-kate ’s not delivering cakes . [I]2342-matt shower , change into [my]2342-matt shorts and vest , and blow - dry [my]2342-matt hair roughly . When [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] done , [I]2342-matt grab [my]2342-matt phone from [my]2342-matt bag and roll [my]2342-matt eyes at the twenty missed calls and , rather sensibly , delete the five texts without reading [them]1404-them . It starts silently flashing in [my]2342-matt hand as [I]2342-matt walk through to [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . [Wo]92-wo n’t [the man]465-that man just give up ? [He]465-that man ’s clearly not use to rejection , and [he]465-that man clearly does n’t like it . [My]2342-matt wine bottle clatters against [my]2342-matt glass , mid - pour , when [I]2342-matt jump out of [my]2342-matt skin at an almighty bang on the front door . ‘ [Ava]832-ava ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ Oh God , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mutter to [myself]2342-matt . ‘ [Ava]832-ava ! ’[465-that man] [he]465-that man roars , banging again . [I]2342-matt hurry through to [the lounge]614-the lounge , looking out of the blind to see [Jesse]327-jesse staring up at the window . [He]465-that man looks frantic . What ’s wrong with [that man]465-that man ? [He]465-that man can stay out there all night , if [he]465-that man likes , [I]2342-matt ’m not answering the door . Being face to face with [him]465-that man will be a huge mistake . [I]832-ava watch as [he]465-that man holds [his]465-that man phone to [his]465-that man ear and [mine]832-ava starts flashing in [my]832-ava hand again . [I]832-ava reject it and look on as [he]465-that man glances at [his]465-that man phone in disbelief . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava ! Answer the fucking door ! ’ ‘[832-ava] No . ’ [I]2557-kate snap , watching [him]465-that man pace down the path to [the road]2482-the road . [I]2557-kate nearly have heart failure when [I]2557-kate spot [Sam]1914-sam pull up in [[his]1914-sam Porsche]3028-his porsche . [Kate]2557-kate gets out . Shit ! [She]2557-kate approaches [Jesse]327-jesse , who ’s waving [his]327-jesse arms around like a loon , as [Sam]1914-sam joins [them]3029-them on [the pavement]2745-the pavement and rubs [his]327-jesse shoulder in a gesture of comfort . [They]3029-them talk for a few moments before [Kate]2557-kate leads [them]3029-them up the path to the front door . ‘[2557-kate] No , [Kate]2557-kate ! ’ [I]2557-kate shout at the window . ‘[2557-kate] Fuck , fuck , fuck , fuck ! ’ That ’s it , [our]3031-our friendship is over ! [I]2557-kate stand like a complete lemon in [the lounge]614-the lounge , hearing the front door swing open , smashing against the wall behind it , and then the stamping of heavy feet flying up [the stairs]272-the stairs . [He]1914-sam crashes through the lounge door , the anger on [his]1914-sam face turning to relief before reverting back to pure fury again . [His]1914-sam grey suit looks perfectly smooth and unaffected , unlike [his]1914-sam disheveled hair and sweaty brow . ‘[2557-kate] Where the FUCK have [you]2557-kate been ? ’ [He]1914-sam blasts [me]2557-kate with [his]1914-sam shout , [his]1914-sam breath , literally , breezing past [my]2557-kate ears . ‘[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt ’ve been pulling [my]2342-matt fucking hair out ! ’ Yes , [I]2342-matt can see that . [I]2342-matt stand staring at [him]2342-matt , completely dumb struck . [I]2342-matt have no idea what to say . Is [he]2342-matt under some sort of illusion that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] answerable to [him]2342-matt ? [Kate]2557-kate and [Sam]1914-sam approach behind [him]2342-matt , all quiet and apprehensive . [I]2342-matt look at [Kate]2557-kate , shaking [my]2342-matt head . [I]2342-matt ’m dying to ask [her]2557-kate if [she]2557-kate likes this [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘[1408-we] [We]1408-we ’re just gon na pop down The Cock for a drink . ’[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam says quietly , grabbing [Kate]2557-kate ’s hand and pulling [her]2557-kate down the landing . [She]2557-kate does n’t try to stop [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt watch [them]1409-them leave , mentally cursing [their]1409-them chicken arses for leaving [me]2342-matt alone to deal with [crazy man]1410-crazy man here . [He]1410-crazy man seems to take a few calming breaths , looking up at the ceiling in weariness , before returning [his]1410-crazy man blazing gaze to [mine]2342-matt . It penetrates [me]2342-matt deeply . ‘ Does [someone]587-someone need a reminder ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt must have a carpet burn on [my]2342-matt chin because [my]2342-matt jaw has just plummeted to the rug . It really is all about sex to [him]2342-matt . [His]2342-matt self - assuredness is shocking and [his]2342-matt opinion of [me]2342-matt inexcusable . ‘ No ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout , steaming past [him]2342-matt into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . [I]2342-matt need that drink ! [I]2342-matt hear [him]2342-matt follow [me]2342-matt , watching as [I]2342-matt chuck [my]2342-matt phone on the worktop and yank the bottle of wine up . ‘ [You]1412-a complete bastard ’re[1412-a complete bastard] [a complete bastard]1412-a complete bastard ! ’ [I]1412-a complete bastard yell , pouring [my]1412-a complete bastard wine with shaky hands . [I]1412-a complete bastard ’m[1412-a complete bastard] boiling mad . [I]2342-matt swing around and fire [him]2342-matt [my]2342-matt most evil look . [He]2342-matt actually winces slightly , which fills [me]2342-matt with immense satisfaction . ‘ [You]1412-a complete bastard ’ve got what [you]1412-a complete bastard wanted . So have [I.]2342-matt Let ’s not fuck about . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt spit . [I]2342-matt have n’t got what [I]2342-matt wanted , not in the least bit , but [I]2342-matt ignore the voice in [my]2342-matt head screaming that at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt need to stop this before [I]2342-matt get dragged any further into the intensity that is [Jesse Ward]327-jesse . ‘ Watch [your]1412-a complete bastard fucking mouth ! ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt shouts . ‘ What are [you]1412-a complete bastard talking about ? [I]2342-matt have n’t got what [I]2342-matt wanted . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]1412-a complete bastard want more ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt quickly swig [my]2342-matt wine . ‘ Well , [I]2342-matt do n’t , so stop hounding [me]2342-matt , [Jesse]327-jesse . And stop shouting at [me]2342-matt ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt go for brutality , but [I]2342-matt fear [I]2342-matt probably sound pretty pathetic in [my]2342-matt attempt . Something ’s got to work . [I]2342-matt take another huge gulp of [my]2342-matt wine , jumping when it ’s swiped from [my]2342-matt hand and tossed in the sink . [I]2342-matt wince at the shattering of glass that cracks through the air . ‘ [You]3035-you do n’t have to drink like [a fucking fifteen year old]3036-a fucking fifteen year old . ’[1413-his] [he]1413-his yells . [My]2342-matt fists ball at [my]2342-matt sides as [I]2342-matt use all of [my]2342-matt willpower to calm [myself]2342-matt down . ‘ Get out ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scream . [My]2342-matt attempts are failing miserably . [I]2342-matt ’m becoming frantic – desperate . [I]2342-matt shrink when [he]1413-his roars in frustration , throwing [his]1413-his fist into the kitchen door , leaving a huge dent in the wood . Oh , shit ! [I]2342-matt stand there , eyes bulging and lips sealed firmly shut as [I]2342-matt watch [his]1413-his fierce reaction to [my]2342-matt rejection . [He]1413-his turns to face [me]2342-matt , shaking [his]1413-his hand a little , and looks [me]2342-matt square in the eyes , [his]1413-his sludgy stare attacking [me]2342-matt . Fuck [me]2342-matt , that ’s got ta hurt . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] about to go to the freezer to get some ice , but [he]1414-his starts to stalk towards [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt brace [my]2342-matt hands behind [me]2342-matt on the edge of the worktop and watch [him]1414-his gain on [me]2342-matt until [we]1415-we are front to front . [He]1414-his leans forward , placing [his]1414-his hands over [mine]2342-matt , effectively trapping [me]2342-matt . Breathing heavily in [my]2342-matt face , [he]1414-his scowls at [me]2342-matt , and then smashes [his]1414-his lips onto [my]2342-matt mouth . [My]2342-matt breath is literally sucked out of [me]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt writher under [him]1414-his , trying to free [myself]2342-matt . What ’s [he]1414-his doing ? Actually , [I]2342-matt know exactly what [he]1414-his ’s doing . [He]1414-his ’s going to hit [me]2342-matt with a reminder fuck . [I]2342-matt ’m so screwed . [He]1414-his pushes [his]1414-his lips harder against [mine]2342-matt , but [I]2342-matt do n’t accept [his]1414-his kiss . [I]2342-matt keep telling [myself]2342-matt that this is bad , so bloody wrong . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to hurt even more if [I]2342-matt accept this , [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt will . [I]2342-matt half - heartedly try to free [myself]2342-matt , but [he]1414-his growls low in [his]1414-his throat , [his]1414-his hands tightening on [mine]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m not going anywhere . [My]1414-his desperate attempts to halt this are being seriously hindered by [his]1414-his sheer determination to break [me]1414-his down . [His]1414-his tongue skims [my]1414-his bottom lip as [I]1414-his continue to deny [him]1414-his access , shuddering in an attempt to fight off the reactions [he]1414-his ’s drawing from [me]1414-his . [I]1414-his know if [he]1414-his gains entry , it will be game over , so [I]1414-his stubbornly keep [my]1414-his lips locked shut while mentally pleading for [him]1414-his to give up . When [he]1414-his releases one of [my]1414-his hands , [I]1414-his instantly grab [his]1414-his bicep to push [him]1414-his away , but it ’s no good . [He]1414-his ’s a powerhouse of [a man]340-a man and [a determined one at that]3038-a determined one at that . [He]1414-his ’s not affected in the slightest by [my]1414-his meager attempts to free [myself]1414-his . [He]1414-his grabs [my]1414-his hip tightly and [I]1414-his jerk under [him]1414-his , but [I]1414-his ’m[1414-his] pressed back into [the worktop]2614-the worktop . [I]2342-matt ’m completely trapped , but [I]1417-stubborn woman still defiantly reject [his]1414-his kiss , keeping [my]1417-stubborn woman lips shut tight . [I]1417-stubborn woman turn [my]1417-stubborn woman head away when [he]1414-his eases up a bit . ‘[1417-stubborn woman] [Stubborn woman]1417-stubborn woman . ’ [he]1414-his mutters , pressing [his]1414-his lips against [my]1417-stubborn woman neck , licking and nibbling [his]1414-his way down to the hollow , circling long , wet strokes before working [his]1414-his way up to [my]1417-stubborn woman ear and biting at [my]1417-stubborn woman lobe . [I]1417-stubborn woman squeeze [my]1417-stubborn woman eyes shut , pleading with [my]1417-stubborn woman self - control to resist [his]1414-his irresistible touch . [My]1417-stubborn woman fingernails are digging into [his]1414-his tense upper arm and [my]1417-stubborn woman lips are locked shut for fear of letting out a cry of pleasure . [His]1414-his hand leaves [my]1417-stubborn woman hip and moves slowly across [my]1417-stubborn woman stomach , skimming the waistband of [my]1417-stubborn woman shorts . ‘[1417-stubborn woman] Please . Please , stop . ’ [I]1417-stubborn woman cry . ‘[1417-stubborn woman] [You]1417-stubborn woman stop , [Ava]832-ava . Just stop . ’ Slipping [his]1414-his index finger under the material , [he]1414-his traces left to right , in slow , soft , measured strokes while continuing the invasion of [his]1414-his lips on [my]1417-stubborn woman ear and neck . [I]1417-stubborn woman could cry with frustration . The warm friction buckles [my]1417-stubborn woman knees , sending violent quivers over [my]1417-stubborn woman entire body . [I]1417-stubborn woman hear [him]1414-his laugh lightly , deep at the back of [his]1414-his throat , sending vibrations down [my]1417-stubborn woman spine and a slow steady beat to [my]1417-stubborn woman core . [I]1417-stubborn woman clamp [my]1417-stubborn woman thighs together , moving [my]1417-stubborn woman hand from [his]1414-his arm to [his]1414-his chest and pushing in total vain . [I]1417-stubborn woman do n’t even know why [I]1417-stubborn woman ’m[1417-stubborn woman] bothering now . [I]2342-matt ’m a heartbeat away from surrendering to [him]1414-his . [He]1414-his ’s persistently pursuing [me]2342-matt in lust , and [I]2342-matt ’ve fallen hard for [him]1414-his – really hard . [My]2342-matt head feels like it could explode , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not sure if it ’ll be in pleasure or confusion . [I]2342-matt ’m so bloody confused . When [his]1414-his lips reach [mine]2342-matt again , [I]2342-matt still resist , trying [my]2342-matt hardest to block it all out . [My]2342-matt poor brain is being thrown a million different commands – fight [him]1414-his ; resist [him]1414-his ; accept [him]1414-his ; kiss [him]1414-his ; knee [him]1414-his in the bollocks . And then [his]1414-his hand is delving into [my]2342-matt knickers , [his]1414-his fingers separating [me]2342-matt , causing electricity to spark violently through [me]2342-matt . [He]1414-his brushes over [my]2342-matt clitoris , so very gently . [I]2342-matt jerk , [my]2342-matt mouth opens and [I]2342-matt let out a cry of pleasure . [He]1414-his takes full advantage of [my]2342-matt lapse in willpower , thrusting [his]1414-his tongue into [my]2342-matt mouth , exploring and lapping every corner , [his]1414-his thumb slowly circling [my]2342-matt burning core . [I]2342-matt kiss [him]1414-his back . ‘[2342-matt] Let [my]2342-matt hand go . ’ [I]2342-matt pant , flexing the muscles in [my]2342-matt arm . [He]1414-his must know that [he]1414-his ’s got [me]2342-matt because [my]2342-matt hand is released on a moan and [he]1414-his ’s griping the nape of [my]2342-matt neck immediately . [I]2342-matt throw [my]2342-matt arms around [his]1414-his neck to pull [him]1414-his closer to [me]2342-matt – just like that . [His]1414-his hips thrust against [his]1414-his hand , increasing the pressure of [his]1414-his assault on [my]2342-matt core and [his]1414-his fingers enter [me]2342-matt . [My]2342-matt muscles grip [him]1414-his hard . [I]2342-matt moan . [He]1414-his pulls away from [me]2342-matt , gasping and heaving , looking at [me]2342-matt through [his]1414-his hooded , glazed eyes . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt thought so . ’ [he]1414-his says , [his]1414-his husky tone pushing [my]830-a slave building orgasm higher . [He]1414-his crashes [his]1414-his lips back on [mine]830-a slave , and [I]830-a slave accept it - all of it . Once again , [I]830-a slave ’m[830-a slave] [a slave]830-a slave to [this beautiful , neurotic man]830-a slave . [My]2342-matt willpower has diminished and [my]2342-matt weaknesses have been weakened . [I]2342-matt run [my]2342-matt hands across [his]830-a slave suited back , [my]2342-matt fingers delving into [his]830-a slave dirty blonde hair as [he]830-a slave continues [his]830-a slave excruciatingly slow , controlled drives with [his]830-a slave fingers . [I]2342-matt could cry with pleasure and frustration , but how can [I]2342-matt resist this ? [I]2342-matt ’ll never escape [him]830-a slave . Now that [I]2342-matt ’ve stopped fighting [him]830-a slave , [his]830-a slave tongue is working [my]2342-matt mouth at a calmer , steadier rate . The hotness of [our]1419-our combined mouths feels natural and absolute . [My]2342-matt thighs tighten with the building climax threatening to attack [me]2342-matt from every direction , and [my]2342-matt grip of [his]830-a slave hair increases . [He]830-a slave gets the message , hardening [his]830-a slave kiss , the strokes of [his]830-a slave fingers and thumb becoming firmer as [I]2342-matt ’m bulldozed by pleasure and rocketed skyward . [My]2342-matt mind goes blank , except for the bliss of release riding through [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt bite [his]830-a slave lip . [He]830-a slave groans . Holy fucking shit ! [His]830-a slave strokes ease up , and [I]2342-matt release [his]830-a slave lip from [my]2342-matt clenched teeth . [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt can taste blood , but [my]2342-matt eyes wo n’t open to confirm it . It would serve [him]830-a slave right . ‘[2342-matt] Remember yet ? ’ [he]830-a slave whispers softly against [my]2342-matt lips . [I]2342-matt sigh , pulling [my]2342-matt heavy eyes open to meet [his]830-a slave green gaze . [I]2342-matt do n’t answer [him]830-a slave ; [he]830-a slave knows the answer to that question . But as always , [I]2342-matt never forgot . [He]830-a slave does n’t demand an answer . [He]830-a slave just leans down , dropping a gentle kiss on [my]2342-matt mouth , [my]2342-matt tongue sweeping across [his]830-a slave bottom lip , licking away the small drop of blood that [I]2342-matt ’ve drawn . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve made [you]1420-you bleed . ’ ‘[199-savage] [Savage]199-savage . ’ [he]830-a slave breathes , pulling [his]830-a slave fingers slowly out of [me]199-savage and sliding them into [my]199-savage mouth . [He]830-a slave watches [me]199-savage closely as [I]199-savage run [my]199-savage tongue over them , a small smile playing at the corner of [his]830-a slave mouth . [He]830-a slave ’s got want [he]830-a slave wants again – [me]199-savage , surrendering to [him]830-a slave . [I]199-savage ’m[199-savage] lifted onto the worktop . ‘ Why do [you]830-a slave keep running away from [me]199-savage ? ’[199-savage] [His]2342-matt eyes search [mine]1421-mine as [he]2342-matt rests [his]2342-matt hands on either side of [my]2342-matt thighs , bending [his]2342-matt body , leaning in . [I]2342-matt drop [my]2342-matt head . [I]2342-matt ca n’t look at [him]2342-matt . What can [I]2342-matt tell [him]2342-matt ? That [I]2342-matt ’ve fallen in love with [him]2342-matt ? Perhaps [I]2342-matt should – [he]2342-matt might freak out and leave [me]2342-matt alone . [I]2342-matt shrug instead . [He]2342-matt places [his]2342-matt index finger under [my]2342-matt chin and tips [my]2342-matt head back up so [I]2342-matt ’m forced to confront [his]2342-matt achingly handsome face . [He]2342-matt raises [his]2342-matt eyebrows at [me]2342-matt expectantly . ‘[2342-matt] Talk to [me]2342-matt , [baby]2342-matt . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know . ’ [He]2342-matt rolls [his]2342-matt eyes and slaps [my]2342-matt hand away from the piece of hair [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] coiling around [my]2342-matt finger . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[815-a shit liar] [a shit liar]815-a shit liar , [Ava]832-ava . ’ ‘[815-a shit liar] [I]2342-matt know . ’ [I]2342-matt huff . [I]2342-matt ’ve got to sort that bad habit out quickly . ‘[2342-matt] Tell [me]2342-matt , now . ’ [he]2342-matt demands softly . [I]2342-matt sigh . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt ’re distracting [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt do n’t want to get hurt . ’[2342-matt] There , [I]2342-matt ’m not lying . That ’s true . [I]2342-matt just left out the minor , major detail of [my]2342-matt feelings for [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt look at [him]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt chews [his]2342-matt bottom lip , the cogs of [his]2342-matt mind going into overdrive . [He]2342-matt does n’t know what to say to that . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] so glad [I]2342-matt did n’t hit [him]2342-matt with the love bomb . ‘ [I]2342-matt see . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says flatly . Is that it ? [I]2342-matt see ? ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] a distraction ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks . ‘[2342-matt] Yes . ’ [I]2342-matt scowl . The worst kind ! [He]2342-matt pouts . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt like distracting [you]2342-matt . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt like [you]2342-matt distracting [me]2342-matt too . ’ [I]2342-matt mumble sulkily . [I]2342-matt notice [he]2342-matt ignores the hurt comment , homing straight in on the distraction tactics . ‘[2342-matt] What am [I]2342-matt distracting [you]2342-matt from ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Being sensible , ’ [I]2342-matt reply quietly . The intoxicating affect [he]2342-matt has on [my]2342-matt body is setting deeper into [my]2342-matt mindset . [He]2342-matt said [he]2342-matt would make [me]2342-matt need [him]2342-matt , and [he]2342-matt ’s keeping true to [his]2342-matt word . [He]2342-matt smiles , completely satisfied , [his]2342-matt eyes dark and promising again . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m going to distract [you]2342-matt some more now . [We]3039-we need to make [friends]2512-friends . ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt low voice is sparking off [my]2342-matt desire for [him]2342-matt all over again as [he]2342-matt grabs [me]2342-matt under [my]2342-matt bum and slides [me]2342-matt off of the worktop to straddle [his]2342-matt waist . ‘ Did n’t [we]1423-we just make [friends]2512-friends ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Not properly . [We]1423-we need to make [friends]2512-friends properly . It ’s the sensible thing to do . [We]1423-we do n’t run anymore , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile and wrap [my]2342-matt arms around [his]2342-matt back as [he]2342-matt walks [us]1423-we out of [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , into [[my]2342-matt bedroom]2495-my bedroom , kicking the door shut behind [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt places [me]2342-matt on the end of the bed , pulling [my]2342-matt vest up over [my]2342-matt head , [my]2342-matt bra - free breasts springing free . [He]2342-matt smiles , looking down into [my]2342-matt eyes and tossing [my]2342-matt vest on the floor . [He]2342-matt starts pulling at the waist band of [my]2342-matt shorts , encouraging [me]2342-matt to lift [my]2342-matt bum so [he]2342-matt can draw them down [my]2342-matt legs , taking [my]2342-matt knickers with them . ‘ Stay there . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt orders , reaching up and pulling at [his]2342-matt tie . Sparks of anticipation ricochet all around [my]2342-matt body as [I]2342-matt watch [him]2342-matt slowly undress in front of [me]2342-matt . [His]2342-matt jacket follows [his]2342-matt tie , then [he]2342-matt slowly unbuttons [his]2342-matt shirt . Hurry up ! The flex of [his]2342-matt ripped chest has [me]2342-matt virtually dribbling as [he]2342-matt stands before [me]2342-matt , taking painfully long to undress . [My]2342-matt eyes are automatically drawn to the sight of [his]2342-matt scar . [I]2342-matt ’m desperate to know where it came from . ‘[832-ava] Look at [me]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [My]832-ava eyes fly straight to [his]2342-matt , those sludgy pools of green watching [me]832-ava carefully as [he]2342-matt removes [his]2342-matt shoes , socks and trousers , before finally dragging [his]2342-matt boxers down [his]2342-matt legs . [His]2342-matt erection springs free . It ’s at eye level to [me]832-ava . If [I]832-ava reach forward and open [my]832-ava mouth , [I]832-ava ’ll have the upper hand . That would make a nice change . [I]832-ava glance up at [him]2342-matt , catching a wicked grin and blazing eyes . ‘[832-ava] [I]2342-matt ’m desperate to be inside [you]2342-matt after looking for [you]2342-matt for the last two days , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says darkly . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll look forward to fucking [your]2342-matt mouth later . [You]2342-matt owe [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] A powerful thud crashes into [my]2342-matt core as [he]2342-matt leans down and curls [his]2342-matt arm around [my]2342-matt waist before crawling up the bed above [me]2342-matt and placing [me]2342-matt down gently beneath [him]2342-matt . [My]2342-matt thighs are spread by [his]2342-matt knee , and [he]2342-matt cradles [himself]2342-matt between them , resting [his]2342-matt forearms on either side of [my]2342-matt head as [he]2342-matt looks down at [me]2342-matt with soft eyes . [I]2342-matt could weep . Any plans [I]2342-matt had of walking away before it ’s too late are totally obliterated . It ’s already too late , and [his]2342-matt determination to have [me]2342-matt , as and when [he]2342-matt pleases , is not doing [me]2342-matt any favours . ‘ [You]2342-matt wo n’t run away from [me]2342-matt again . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says softly but firmly . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt have to answer this . [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head and reach up to [his]2342-matt shoulders . ‘ [You]2342-matt need to answer [me]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt whispers . [I]2342-matt feel the broad head of [his]2342-matt erection pushing at [my]2342-matt entrance , causing a ridiculous amount of heat to plague [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt wo n’t . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt confirm . [He]2342-matt nods , holding [my]2342-matt gaze as [he]2342-matt slowly draws back and drives forward , plunging deeply into [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt moan and adjust [my]2342-matt grip on [his]2342-matt shoulders , shifting under [him]2342-matt . The fullness is incredible , and [I]2342-matt ’ve fast become use to [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt blows out a long controlled breath of air . The concentration frown flickering across [his]2342-matt brow is shiny with sweat and heavy on [his]2342-matt forehead . [I]2342-matt resist the urge to contract around [him]2342-matt – [he]2342-matt needs a moment . [His]2342-matt eyes close , [his]2342-matt long lashes fanning , [his]2342-matt head dropped to [mine]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt battles to compose [his]2342-matt erratic breathing . [I]2342-matt wait patiently for [him]2342-matt to sort [himself]2342-matt out , running [my]2342-matt hands up and down [his]2342-matt firm upper arms , more than happy to lay here looking at [this beautiful , neurotic man]2342-matt so closely . [He]2342-matt knows [I]2342-matt need gentle [Jesse]327-jesse right now . After a few moments , [he]2342-matt gathers [himself]2342-matt together and lifts [his]2342-matt head back up to look at [me]2342-matt . [My]2342-matt heart constricts in [my]2342-matt chest . [I]2342-matt ’m so in love with [this man]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] This is what happens when [you]1426-you deny [me]2342-matt . Do n’t do it again . ’ [He]2342-matt lifts [his]2342-matt upper body to brace [his]2342-matt arms , then lazily drags back and gradually drives forward . [I]1426-you purr . Oh , good God . [He]2342-matt repeats the delectable move , over and over , watching [me]1426-you the entire time . ‘[1426-you] [You]1426-you need to think about this , [Ava]832-ava . When [you]1426-you ’re tempted to run again , think about how [you]1426-you feel right now . Think about [me]1426-you . ’[1426-you] ‘ Yes . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt breathe , struggling to dampen down a fast buildup of pressure . [I]2342-matt want to carry on like this forever . [I]2342-matt want to feel like this forever . This is exactly why [I]2342-matt ’ve been avoiding [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m weak and feeble in [my]2342-matt attempts to brush [him]2342-matt off . Or is [he]2342-matt just determined ? Well , either way , [I]2342-matt always end up at square one again … giving [myself]2342-matt to [this man]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt rock [my]2342-matt hips up to meet [his]2342-matt every thrust , and [he]2342-matt lowers [his]2342-matt mouth to [mine]2342-matt , taking [my]2342-matt lips leisurely and lazily , matching [his]2342-matt blazing hip rhythm with [his]2342-matt tongue . [I]2342-matt whimper , digging [my]2342-matt nails into [his]2342-matt arms . [I]2342-matt ’ve got to stop marking [him]2342-matt and drawing blood . [The poor man]2342-matt is mistreated almost every time . [He]2342-matt drives slowly forward , circles deeply and withdraws lazily , time and time again . [I]2342-matt ca n’t hold out for much longer . How does [he]2342-matt do this to [me]2342-matt ? ‘[2342-matt] Does that feel good ? ’ [he]2342-matt whispers . ‘[2342-matt] Too good , ’ [I]2342-matt gasp on a lazy grind . ‘[2342-matt] It does . Are [you]1427-you there , [lady]832-ava ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks against [my]2342-matt lips . [I]2342-matt nip [his]2342-matt tongue . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m there . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ve got [you]2342-matt , [baby]832-ava . Let it go . ’[2342-matt] The racking shudder that courses through [my]2342-matt body has [me]2342-matt clenched around [Jesse]327-jesse ’s arousal , shaking wildly against [him]327-jesse as [I]2342-matt moan [my]2342-matt release into [his]327-jesse mouth . The last , deep thrust , followed by a jerk and hot sensation flooding [me]2342-matt , signals [Jesse]327-jesse ’s release . [He]327-jesse holds [himself]327-jesse deep and clenches [his]327-jesse eyes shut , while paying loving attention to [my]2342-matt mouth , moaning long and low . The pulsating of [him]327-jesse is triggering [my]2342-matt muscles to tense around [him]327-jesse , all in time to [his]327-jesse throbs . [I]2342-matt ’m draining [him]327-jesse dry . ‘[68-god] [God]68-god , [I]2342-matt ’ve missed [you]68-god . ’ [he]327-jesse whispers , burying [his]327-jesse face in the crook of [my]68-god neck and nuzzling before rolling onto [his]327-jesse back . [He]327-jesse holds [his]327-jesse arm up , and [I]68-god move into [his]327-jesse warm , firm chest , resting [my]68-god cheek on [his]327-jesse pec . [I]68-god ’m[68-god] so screwed – totally fucking screwed . ‘ [I]2342-matt love sleepy sex with [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt muse dreamily . ‘ That was n’t sleep sex , [baby]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt brushes [my]2342-matt hair from [my]2342-matt face with [his]2342-matt spare hand . It was n’t ? ‘ What was is then ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt kisses [my]2342-matt forehead gently . ‘ That was catching up sex . ’[2342-matt] Oh , a new one . ‘ [I]2342-matt like catching up sex then . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Do n’t like it too much . It wo n’t happen very often . ’[2342-matt] A stab of disappointment pierces [me]2342-matt . ‘ Why ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Because , [lady]2342-matt , [you]2342-matt wo n’t be running away from [me]2342-matt again , and [I]2342-matt do n’t plan on being away from [you]2342-matt very often either . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt inhales in [my]2342-matt hair . ‘ If ever , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile to [myself]2342-matt , throwing [my]2342-matt leg over [his]2342-matt thighs . [He]2342-matt clasps [my]2342-matt knee , rubbing circles over [my]2342-matt skin with [his]2342-matt thumb , while [I]2342-matt trace [my]2342-matt fingers across the surface of [his]2342-matt scar . [I]2342-matt ’m compelled to know how [he]2342-matt got it . [He]2342-matt has n’t mentioned it , except to warn [me]2342-matt off asking , but it ’s not like it can be overlooked . [I]2342-matt need to know more about [him]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] How did this happen ? ’ [I]832-ava ask as [I]832-ava follow the line around to [his]2342-matt side . [He]2342-matt inhales tiredly . ‘[832-ava] How did what happen , [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [His]2342-matt words leave [no room]701-no room for movement or interrogation on the matter . [He]2342-matt does n’t want to talk about it . ‘[832-ava] Nothing , ’ [I]832-ava whisper softly , making a mental note not to ask again . ‘[832-ava] What are [you]1429-you doing tomorrow ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks in a blatant change of subject tactic . ‘[832-ava] It ’s Wednesday , [I]2342-matt ’m working . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Take the day off . ’[2342-matt] ‘ What , just like that ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt feel [him]2342-matt shrug . ‘ Yes , [you]1429-you owe [me]2342-matt two days . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt makes everything sound so straight forward . It ’s okay for [him]2342-matt , with [his]2342-matt own business and [no one]2594-no one to answer to . [I]2342-matt , on the other hand , have [clients]424-clients , [a boss]1432-a boss and a pile of work to do . ‘ [I]2342-matt have too much to do . Besides , [you]1429-you abandoned [me]2342-matt for four days . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt remind [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt still has n’t explained [himself]2342-matt . Will [he]2342-matt now ? ‘ Come with [me]2342-matt now then . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt squeezes [me]2342-matt in a little bit more . [I]2342-matt notice [I]2342-matt get nothing of an explanation . ‘ Where ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ve got to shoot over to [The Manor]2356-the manor , sort a few things out with [John]832-ava . [You]832-ava can have some dinner while [you]832-ava wait for [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] Not a chance ! [I]2342-matt ’m not going to [The Manor]2356-the manor , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not waiting for [him]2342-matt in [the restaurant]1284-the restaurant while [he]2342-matt sees to business and [I]2342-matt ’m not risking bumping into old pouty lips . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt ’ll stay here , [I]2342-matt do n’t want to get in [your]1434-you way . ’ [I]2342-matt say quietly , hoping [he]2342-matt does n’t push this . Another standoff with [Sarah]54-victoria will not be a good way to end the day , the devious , interfering cow . What has [Jesse]327-jesse ’s personal life got to do with [her]54-victoria ? [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] rolled onto [my]2342-matt back with [my]2342-matt wrists pinned to the side of [my]2342-matt head as [Jesse]327-jesse looms over [me]2342-matt . ‘ [You]1434-you wo n’t ever be in [my]2342-matt way . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt rests [his]2342-matt lips between [my]2342-matt breasts and trails kisses across to [my]2342-matt nipple . ‘ [You]1434-you ’ll come . ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt nipple lengthens under [his]2342-matt gentle , swirling tongue , [my]2342-matt breathing fluttering . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll see [you]1434-you tomorrow . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt force the words through pants . [His]2342-matt teeth clamp lightly onto [my]2342-matt nipple as [he]2342-matt looks up at [me]2342-matt , grinning . ‘ Hmmm , sense fuck ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt offers , through a mouth full of breast . Oh , no . [I]2342-matt ’ll take the fuck , but [I]2342-matt ’m still not going to [The Manor]2356-the manor . Although , if [he]2342-matt starts fucking [his]2342-matt so called sense into [me]2342-matt , then [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] screwed in more than one way . [He]2342-matt can make [me]2342-matt say anything . Well , [he]2342-matt can do that pretty much all of the time , but especially during a sense fuck . [I]2342-matt hear the front door crash open and the laughter of [Kate]2557-kate and [Sam]1914-sam coming up [the stairs]272-the stairs . [I]2342-matt look down at [Jesse]327-jesse still clamped around [my]2342-matt nipple , the frustration marring [his]2342-matt face having [me]2342-matt secretly pleased . While [I]2342-matt ’d take a sense fuck anytime , the sense [he]2342-matt aims on fucking into [me]2342-matt , on this particular occasion , makes no sense at all . Why would [I]2342-matt want to set [myself]2342-matt up for a verbal spar with [Sarah]54-victoria ? [He]2342-matt huffs childishly , releasing [my]2342-matt nipple . ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t suppose [you]2342-matt can keep [your]2342-matt mouth shut while [I]2342-matt fuck some sense into [you]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt raise [my]2342-matt eyebrows . [He]2342-matt knows that ’s impossible . ‘ For fucks sake . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt grumbles , pushing [himself]2342-matt up , making a point of brushing [his]2342-matt knee up the inside of [my]2342-matt thigh and over [my]2342-matt moist centre . The friction has [me]2342-matt wanting to yank [him]2342-matt back down to [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt do n’t want [him]2342-matt to go . [He]2342-matt leans down and kisses [me]2342-matt hard and purposefully . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ve got to go . When [I]2342-matt call [you]2342-matt tomorrow , [you]2342-matt ’ll answer the phone . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt will . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt confirm obediently . [God]68-god help [me]2342-matt if [I]2342-matt do n’t . [He]2342-matt smiles darkly and grabs [my]2342-matt hip . [I]2342-matt squeal like [a little girl]1388-a little girl and flip [myself]2342-matt onto [my]2342-matt front . Then [I]2342-matt feel the sting of [his]2342-matt palm meeting [my]2342-matt backside . ‘ Ouch ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ Sarcasm does n’t suit [you]2342-matt , [lady]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] The bed shifts as [he]2342-matt gets up . When [I]2342-matt turn over , [his]2342-matt shirt is on [his]2342-matt back and [he]2342-matt ’s working the buttons . ‘ Will [Sarah]54-victoria be at [The Manor]2356-the manor ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blurt , before [my]2342-matt brain filters the stupid question . [He]2342-matt pauses briefly before picking up [his]2342-matt boxers and stepping into them . ‘ [I]2342-matt hope so , [she]54-victoria works for [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] What ? ‘ [You]2342-matt said [she]54-victoria was [a friend]2645-a friend . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt sound whinny . [I]2342-matt mentally slap [myself]2342-matt for it . [He]2342-matt frowns . ‘ Yes , [she]54-victoria ’s [a friend]2645-a friend and [she]54-victoria works for [me]200-marvelous . ’[200-marvelous] [Marvelous]200-marvelous . [I]2342-matt roll out of bed and find [my]2342-matt vest and shorts . No wonder [she]200-marvelous ’s always loitering about . Should [I]2342-matt tell [him]2342-matt that [she]200-marvelous ’s warned [me]2342-matt off ? No , [he]2342-matt probably would n’t appreciate immature , petty jealousies . [God]68-god , [I]2342-matt hate [that woman]792-that woman . [I]2342-matt yank [my]2342-matt vest and shorts on , and turn to find [Jesse]327-jesse pulling [his]327-jesse suit jacket on . [He]327-jesse ’s watching [me]2342-matt thoughtfully . Does [he]327-jesse know what [I]2342-matt ’m thinking ? ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]1438-you going to put some clothes on ? ’ [he]327-jesse asks , looking [me]2342-matt up and down . [I]2342-matt look down at [my]2342-matt shorts and vest combo and back up to [him]327-jesse . [His]327-jesse eyebrows are raised . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m at [home]281-home . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , and [Sam]1914-sam ’s out there . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Sam]1914-sam does n’t seem to think anything of walking around in [his]327-jesse pants . At least [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] covered . ’ ‘[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam ’s [an exhibitionist]1439-an exhibitionist . ’ [he]327-jesse grumbles , walking over to [my]1439-an exhibitionist wardrobe and flicking through the rails . ‘[1439-an exhibitionist] Here , put this on . ’ [He]327-jesse hands [me]1439-an exhibitionist a chunky knit , oversized , cream jumper . ‘[1439-an exhibitionist] No ! ’ [I]1439-an exhibitionist splutter in disgust . [I]1439-an exhibitionist ’ll pass out of overheating ! [He]327-jesse thrusts it closer to [me]1439-an exhibitionist with a determined , dirty look . ‘[1439-an exhibitionist] Put the jumper on . ’ ‘[1439-an exhibitionist] No . ’ [I]1439-an exhibitionist say it slowly and concisely . [He]1914-sam ’s not dictating [my]1439-an exhibitionist wardrobe , especially not when [I]1439-an exhibitionist ’m[1439-an exhibitionist] at [home]281-home . [I]2342-matt snatch the jumper from [him]1914-sam and throw it on the bed , watching as [he]1914-sam follows its path through the air . [He]1914-sam looks at it sprawled on the bed , then slowly returns [his]1914-sam eyes to [mine]2342-matt . [His]1914-sam teeth are going ten to the dozen , chewing [his]1914-sam bottom lip . ‘ Three , ’[1914-sam] [he]1914-sam grates . [My]2342-matt eyes widen . ‘ Are [you]2342-matt winding [me]1914-sam up ? ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam ignores [me]2342-matt . ‘ Two , ’[1914-sam] [I]2342-matt still do n’t know what happens at zero , but it looks like [I]2342-matt ’m going to find out . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not putting the jumper on . ’[2342-matt] ‘ One , ’[1914-sam] [His]1914-sam lips press into a straight line of displeasure . ‘ Do what [you]2342-matt like , [Jesse]327-jesse . [I]1914-sam ’m[1914-sam] not putting that jumper on . ’ [His]1914-sam eyes narrow . ‘[1914-sam] Zero , ’ [We]3048-we stand opposite each other , [him]1914-sam with an expression of genuine fury mixed with a bit of delight , and [me]327-jesse wondering what the hell [he]1914-sam ’s going to do now that [he]1914-sam ’s reached zero . [I]327-jesse scan [the room]2350-the room , looking for an escape , but there ’s only one , and [I]327-jesse have to get past [Jesse]327-jesse to make it there . What are the chances of that ? [He]1914-sam shakes [his]1914-sam head , exhaling a long , lung full of air , and then [he]1914-sam makes [his]1914-sam move . [I]327-jesse dart across the bed to escape , getting caught up in the mountain of sheets and squealing when [I]327-jesse feel [his]1914-sam warm palm wrap around [my]327-jesse ankle . [He]1914-sam yanks [me]327-jesse across the bed . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse ! ’ [I]327-jesse cry as [he]1914-sam flips [me]327-jesse over and straddles [me]327-jesse , pinning [my]327-jesse arms under [his]1914-sam knees . ‘[327-jesse] Get off ! ’ [I]327-jesse blow [my]327-jesse hair out of [my]327-jesse face , finding [him]327-jesse looking down at [me]327-jesse , [his]327-jesse face deadly serious . ‘[327-jesse] Let ’s clear something up . ’ [He]327-jesse removes [his]327-jesse jacket , throws it on the bed and picks up the jumper . ‘[327-jesse] If [you]1441-you do what [you]1441-you ’re told , [our]3050-our lives will be a lot easier . All this … ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse strokes [his]327-jesse palms over [my]2342-matt torso and pinches [my]2342-matt nipples through [my]2342-matt vest . [I]2342-matt yelp . ‘ is for [my]2342-matt eyes only . ’[2342-matt] [He]327-jesse moves [his]327-jesse hands behind [him]327-jesse and digs [his]327-jesse fingers into the hollow above [my]2342-matt hips bone . ‘ NO ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scream . ‘ Please , no ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt start laughing . Oh God , [I]2342-matt ’ll pee [myself]2342-matt ! [He]327-jesse continues with the digs and squeezes , sending [me]2342-matt on a wild bucking mission . [I]2342-matt ca n’t breathe . [I]2342-matt ’m between laughter and crying at the torturous assault , [my]327-jesse bladder set to burst . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , [I]2342-matt need [the toilet]440-the toilet ! ’ [I]2342-matt half laugh , half cry . All [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] aware of is the agonising suffering [he]327-jesse ’s inflicting on [me]2342-matt , [the cruel bastard]327-jesse . And all because [I]2342-matt wo n’t put a stupid jumper on ? ‘ That ’s better . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt hear [him]327-jesse say through [my]2342-matt bucking frenzy . [I]2342-matt feel [my]2342-matt hair being brushed away from [my]2342-matt face , then [his]327-jesse lips pressed hard on [mine]2342-matt . ‘ [You]327-jesse could have saved [us]3051-us both a lot of trouble if [you]327-jesse ’d have just put … [the … fucking … jumper]3052-the … fucking … jumper … on . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt look up at [him]327-jesse and scowl as [he]327-jesse lifts [his]327-jesse heavy weight from [me]2342-matt and puts [his]327-jesse jacket back on . [I]2342-matt sit up , finding [I]2342-matt ’m wearing the stupid jumper . How did [he]327-jesse manage that ? [I]2342-matt turn [my]2342-matt fierceness onto [him]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse ’s regarding [me]2342-matt intently , not a hint of amusement on [his]327-jesse face . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll just take it off . ’ [I]2342-matt spit . ‘[2342-matt] No , [you]2342-matt wo n’t . ’ [he]327-jesse assures [me]2342-matt , and [he]327-jesse ’s probably right . [I]2342-matt get off the bed , heading for [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom in the ridiculous jumper . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt ’re an unreasonable arse . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mutter , slamming the door behind [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt go for a wee and make a mental note , never to let [him]2342-matt get to zero again . That was [my]2342-matt worst nightmare . [I]2342-matt rub [my]2342-matt poor abused hips , the sensitive flesh above [my]2342-matt bones still tingling . When [I]2342-matt ’m done , [I]2342-matt find [Jesse]327-jesse in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen with [Sam]1914-sam and [Kate]2557-kate , who both run [their]3055-their eyes over [my]2342-matt jumper clad body . [I]2342-matt shrug , pouring [myself]2342-matt another wine . ‘[2342-matt] Made up ? ’ [Kate]2557-kate asks , perching on [Sam]1914-sam ’s lap . [He]1914-sam separates [his]1914-sam thighs , causing [Kate]2557-kate to slip between [his]1914-sam legs on a squeal . [She]2557-kate playfully slaps [him]1914-sam before looking at [me]2342-matt for an answer . ‘[2342-matt] No , ’ [I]2342-matt mutter , throwing [Jesse]327-jesse a disgruntled look . ‘[2342-matt] And if [you]1443-your ’d like to know who has put a hole in [your]1443-your kitchen door , look no further . ’ [I]1444-i point [my]1444-i glass at [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘[1444-i] [He]1444-i also smashed [your]1443-your wine glass . ’ [I]1444-i add , like the pathetic snitch [I]1444-i am . [I]1444-i watch as [Jesse]327-jesse reaches in [his]327-jesse pockets , palms off a pile of twenties and slaps them on the table in front of [Kate]2557-kate . ‘[1444-i] Let [me]2342-matt know if it ’s anymore . ’ [he]1444-i says , keeping [his]1444-i eyes firmly on [me]1444-i . [I]1444-i look down at the table . There must be at least five hundred quid there . And [I]1444-i notice [he]1444-i did n’t apologise , the arrogant arse . [Kate]2557-kate shrugs and scoops the money up . ‘[1444-i] That should cover it . ’ [Jesse]327-jesse shoves [his]327-jesse hands back in [his]327-jesse pockets , saunters over to [me]2342-matt and bends so [his]327-jesse face is level with [mine]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt like [your]2342-matt jumper . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Fuck off . ’ [I]2342-matt mouth , before taking a huge swig of wine . [He]2342-matt grins , kissing [my]2342-matt nose . ‘[2342-matt] Mouth , ’ [he]2342-matt warns . [He]2342-matt grasps the back of [my]2342-matt head , bunching [my]2342-matt hair in [his]2342-matt fist and pulls [me]2342-matt forward so [we]3056-we ’re[2342-matt] nose to nose . ‘ Do n’t drink too much . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt orders , and then lands [me]2342-matt with a searing hot kiss . [I]2342-matt try to resist … a little . When [I]2342-matt ’m free from [his]2342-matt lips and [I]2342-matt ’ve regained [my]2342-matt senses , [I]2342-matt scoff , taking another glug . [He]2342-matt shakes [his]2342-matt head mildly , inhaling deeply , before turning away from [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt work here is done . ’ [he]2342-matt says smugly as [he]2342-matt leaves . ‘[2342-matt] Bye . ’ [Kate]2557-kate sings on a laugh . [I]2342-matt throw [her]2557-kate a filthy look . ‘[2342-matt] [[My]2342-matt man]2342-matt , ’ [Sam]1914-sam holds [his]2342-matt hand up on a grin . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , where ’s the love ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Up [his]2342-matt arse ! ’ [I]2342-matt snap , discarding [my]2342-matt wine glass and collecting [my]2342-matt phone before storming out of [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , back to [[my]2342-matt room]2682-my room . [The man]2342-matt is impossible . [I]2342-matt hear [Sam]1914-sam and [Kate]2557-kate laughing as [I]2342-matt crawl into bed with [my]2342-matt jumper on . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] pretending the only reason [I]2342-matt ’m pissed is because [Jesse]327-jesse has just manhandled [me]2342-matt into a jumper . The fact that [he]2342-matt ’s on [his]2342-matt way to [The Manor]2356-the manor , and [a certain pouty lipped witch]3060-a certain pouty lipped witch is sure be there , has nothing to do with [my]2342-matt bad mood – nothing at all . As [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] dozing off , [my]2342-matt phone starts singing The Stone Roses , This is the One . [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes , reaching for it from [my]2342-matt bedside table . [I]2342-matt need to teach [that man]465-that man some phone manners . ‘ What ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt snap . ‘ Who do [you]65-ha think [you]65-ha ’re[65-ha] talking to , [lady]65-ha ? ’ ‘[1447-an unreasonable arse] [An unreasonable arse]1447-an unreasonable arse ! ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll ignore that . Have [you]65-ha still got the jumper on ? ’ [I]2342-matt want to say no . ‘[2342-matt] Yes . ’ [I]2342-matt grumble . Would [he]465-that man come back and torture [me]2342-matt some more if [I]2342-matt did say no ? ‘[2342-matt] Is that all [you]65-ha rang for ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] No , [I]2342-matt wanted to hear [your]65-ha voice . ’ [he]465-that man says softly . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m having [Ava]832-ava withdrawal . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt melt a little on a sigh . [He]465-that man can be so domineering , bossy and unreasonable , and in the next breath , completely soppy and lovely . ‘ [You]65-ha ’ve been messing with [my]2342-matt phone again . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt accuse . ‘ [You]65-ha ’re[2342-matt] not going to hear [me]2342-matt call if it ’s on silent , are [you]65-ha ? ’ ‘[65-ha] No , but how did [you]65-ha know it was on silent ? ’ [I]65-ha ask , although [I]65-ha already know . [I]65-ha need to put a PIN lock on it . ‘[65-ha] Anyway , it ’s rude . And [you]65-ha need to apologise to [Sally]54-victoria . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sorry . Who ’s [Sally]54-victoria ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ No , [you]65-ha ’re[2342-matt] not . [Sally]54-victoria is the waif like creature in [[my]2342-matt office]1011-my office who [you]65-ha verbally attacked . ’ ‘[54-victoria] Oh , [I]2342-matt ’ll take care of it . Make sure [you]65-ha dream of [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt smile . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt will . Goodnight . ’ ‘[832-ava] Oh , [Ava]832-ava ? ’ ‘[832-ava] What ? ’ ‘[832-ava] [You]832-ava ’re the one , [baby]832-ava . ’[1449-he] [He]1449-he hangs up , and [my]2342-matt heart jumps up into [my]2342-matt throat . What is the one ? Does [he]1449-he mean what [I]2342-matt think [he]1449-he means ? [I]2342-matt start chewing [my]2342-matt thumb nail and drift off to sleep considering [his]1449-he coded statement . Am [I]2342-matt [The One]0-the one ? Is [he]1449-he [The One]0-the one ? Oh , hell . [I]2342-matt really want [him]1449-he to be . Chapter 24 [I]2342-matt sit at [my]2342-matt desk in a complete daydream , [my]2342-matt mind racing with thoughts of The One and fuckings of various degrees . If – in [my]2342-matt perfect little world – [I]2342-matt end up in a relationship with [Jesse]327-jesse , would this be how it is all of the time ? [Jesse]327-jesse making [his]327-jesse commands and [me]2342-matt who obeys ? It ’s that or receiving some sort of fuck , or being subjected to some kind of countdown and torture until [I]2342-matt relent , or [he]1449-he manhandles [me]2342-matt into complying . [I]2342-matt ’m not denying the certain element of fun in the fucking side of things , but there has to be give and take . And [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] not sure [Jesse]327-jesse knows how to give – unless it ’s one of [his]327-jesse varying degrees of fucking . [He]327-jesse ’s so good at it , though . [I]2342-matt bristle when [I]2342-matt conclude that it is , undoubtedly , because [he]327-jesse ’s had plenty of practice . [My]2342-matt pencil snaps in [my]2342-matt hand . What ? [I]2342-matt look at the splintered wood in [my]2342-matt grasp . Oh … dear . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [you]832-ava ’re[2342-matt] here early . ’ [Sally]54-victoria walks into [the office]279-the office , and [I]2342-matt immediately giggle to [myself]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt saw [Sally]54-victoria in a different light yesterday . ‘[2342-matt] Yes , [I]2342-matt woke up early . ’ [I]2342-matt say , wanting to add that it ’s because [a neurotic arse]3062-a neurotic arse made [me]2342-matt wear a winter jumper in bed , causing [me]2342-matt to wake up in a pool of sweat . [She]3062-a neurotic arse settles [herself]3062-a neurotic arse at [her]3062-a neurotic arse desk . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt tried calling [you]1451-you yesterday after [you]1451-you left . ’ ‘[1451-you] [You]1451-you did ? ’ [I]1451-you frown , but then realise that [I]1451-you probably cleared [Sally]54-victoria ’s missed call with [the dozens of others from [Jesse]327-jesse]3063-the dozens of others from jesse . ‘[1451-you] Yes , [that angry man]1452-that angry man came into [the office]279-the office shortly after [you]1451-you left . ’ ‘[1452-that angry man] [He]1452-that angry man did ? ’ [I]1452-that angry man should have known . ‘[1452-that angry man] [He]1452-that angry man did . And [his]1452-that angry man mood had not improved . ’ [she]3062-a neurotic arse says dryly . [I]1452-that angry man can imagine . [I]1452-that angry man smile . ‘[1452-that angry man] Did [you]1451-you give [him]1452-that angry man a cuddle ? ’ [Sally]54-victoria snorts , flopping back in [her]54-victoria chair in another fit of laughter . [I]327-jesse join [her]54-victoria , laughing helplessly as [I]327-jesse watch [Sal]54-victoria fall apart all over [her]54-victoria desk . [Patrick]327-jesse walks in and looks at [both of [us]525-both of us]525-both of us in exasperation before making [his]327-jesse way to [[his]327-jesse own office]279-the office , shutting the door behind [him]327-jesse . Oh , shit ! ‘[327-jesse] Was [Patrick]327-jesse here ? ’ [I]327-jesse ask . [She]54-victoria takes [her]54-victoria glasses off and starts cleaning them with the hem of [her]54-victoria brown , polyester blouse . ‘[327-jesse] What ? When [the lunatic]1454-the lunatic came in ? No , [he]1454-the lunatic was collecting [Irene]363-irene from [the train station]1455-the train station . ’ [I]1454-the lunatic let out a sigh of relief . What ’s [Jesse]327-jesse thinking ? [He]1454-the lunatic ’s [a client]2741-a client . [He]1454-the lunatic ca n’t come into [[my]1454-the lunatic office]279-the office and start throwing [his]1454-the lunatic weight around . [I]1454-the lunatic can hardly pass off [Jesse]327-jesse ’s temper as [a normal client]3067-a normal client grievance scenario . [He]1454-the lunatic ’s already heaved [me]1454-the lunatic out of [the office]279-the office once . The office door opens and [the flower delivery girl]3068-the flower delivery girl – [Lusso girl]3068-the flower delivery girl again – trundles in with two lavish sprays . ‘[1454-the lunatic] Flower deliveries for [Ava]832-ava and [Sally]54-victoria ? ’ [I]1456-the smooth bastard watch as [Sally]54-victoria nearly passes out at [her]54-victoria desk . [I]1456-the smooth bastard bet [she]54-victoria ’s never had flowers brought for [her]54-victoria . [I]1456-the smooth bastard already know who [they]3069-they ’re[1456-the smooth bastard] from , though . [The smooth bastard]1456-the smooth bastard . ‘ [Me]1456-the smooth bastard ? ’[1456-the smooth bastard] [Sally]54-victoria gushes , grabbing the colourful bouquet from [the delivery girl]792-that woman and shooing [her]792-that woman towards [my]2342-matt desk . ‘ Thanks . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile , taking the simple spray of calla lilies before signing on behalf of [Sally]54-victoria and [myself]2342-matt . [Sal]54-victoria looks like [she]792-that woman might be in a daydream for the rest of the day . ‘ What does the card say , [Sal]54-victoria ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt call , watching [her]792-that woman eyes dart from left to right across the words . [She]792-that woman leans back , placing [her]792-that woman hand over [her]792-that woman heart . ‘ It says … “Please accept [my]792-that woman apologies . [That woman]792-that woman makes [me]792-that woman crazy ” Oh , [Ava]832-ava ! ’[792-that woman] [She]792-that woman looks up at [me]2342-matt all soppy . ‘ [I]792-that woman would love to make [a man that crazy]3070-a man that crazy ! ’[792-that woman] [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes , retrieving the card from [my]2342-matt own flowers . [I]2342-matt bet [I]2342-matt do n’t have an apology . And [Sally]54-victoria would n’t be saying that if [she]792-that woman was on the receiving end of [Jesse]327-jesse ’s unreasonable , neurotic behavior . [I]2342-matt make [him]327-jesse crazy ? What a joke . [I]2342-matt open [my]2342-matt card . [You]1458-i ’re the one [I]1458-i ’ve been waiting for … Jx [My]1458-i soppy side swoons slightly , but then the sensible side of [my]1458-i brain – the part that ’s not completely consumed with [Jesse]327-jesse – is screaming that [The One]0-the one is actually [someone who drops to [their]0-the one knees and obeys [his]0-the one every command , demand and instruction]0-the one . While [I]1458-i ’m[1458-i] fully aware that [I]2342-matt ’ve done exactly that , on numerous occasions , [I]2342-matt also need to keep a hold of [my]2342-matt identity and [my]2342-matt mind . It ’s bloody hard when [I]2342-matt ’m so affected by [this man]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse ’s already got [my]2342-matt body – or claimed it , more like . [My]2342-matt phone starts ringing . [I]2342-matt ignore the pang of disappointment at hearing the standard ringtone , but [I]2342-matt ca n’t ignore the pang of panic when [I]2342-matt see [Matt]2342-matt ’s name flashing up on the screen , though . What does [he]2342-matt want ? ‘[2342-matt] Hello ? ’ [I]832-ava greet as bored as [I]832-ava intended it to be . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt did n’t think [you]832-ava would answer . ’ [His]2342-matt voice is cautious , and it should be after the stunt [he]2342-matt pulled . [I]832-ava do n’t know why [I]832-ava even answered . ‘[832-ava] Why would [you]832-ava think that , [Matt]2342-matt ? ’ The sarcasm is dripping from [my]2342-matt voice . The worm has a nerve after what [he]2342-matt said and how [he]2342-matt behaved . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sorry , [Ava]832-ava . [I]2342-matt was bang out of line . Everything got on top of [me]2342-matt . [[My]2342-matt boss]745-my boss told [me]2342-matt that redundancies are going to be happening … and … it … urm … well , it put [me]2342-matt on edge . ’[2342-matt] Oh , lovely . So [he]2342-matt thought [he]2342-matt ’d try to get [me]2342-matt back on that basis ? Does [he]2342-matt want financial security if [he]2342-matt happens to lose [his]2342-matt job ? [Cheeky]128-cheeky twat ! Does [he]2342-matt realise what [he]2342-matt ’s just said ? ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sorry about that . ’ [I]2342-matt reply flatly . ‘[2342-matt] Thanks . It just brought things [home]281-home . [I]2342-matt ’ve lost [you]1460-you , and now [I]2342-matt might be losing [my]2342-matt job . It ’s all gone tits up . ’ [His]2342-matt voice is quivering with emotion . [I]2342-matt sigh . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sure [you]1460-you ’ll be fine . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt assure [him]2342-matt in [my]2342-matt best calming tone . ‘ [You]1460-you ’re[2342-matt] good at [your]1460-you job . ’ [He]2342-matt really is . [He]2342-matt has the confident – a bit too confident – attitude required of [a sales person]3073-a sales person . ‘[1460-you] Yeah , [I]2342-matt just wanted to make amends with [you]1460-you , though . ’ That ’s okay with [me]1460-you , as long as [he]2342-matt does n’t hit [me]1460-you with another “ [I]1460-you want [you]1460-you back ” speech . What was [he]2342-matt thinking ? ‘[1460-you] It ’s fine , do n’t worry . [I]2342-matt ’ll see [you]1460-you about , okay ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Yeah , [we]1461-we could do lunch again , ’ [he]2342-matt adds quickly . ‘[2512-friends] As [friends]2512-friends … of course , [I]2342-matt still have these boxes with the last of [your]1460-you stuff . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll pick [them]2512-friends up next week . Take care , [Matt]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt ignore [his]2342-matt lunch suggestion . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt too , ’ [I]2342-matt hang up , tossing [my]2342-matt phone onto [my]2342-matt desk . As much as [he]2342-matt ’s a twat , [I]2342-matt do n’t wish unemployment on [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt ’ll be fine . [I]2342-matt put [Matt]2342-matt out of [my]2342-matt head and concentrate on getting some work done . [I]2342-matt pretend not to check [my]2342-matt phone every ten minutes to make sure it ’s on and the volume is up . Why has n’t [he]2342-matt called ? [I]2342-matt walk down [[our]3074-our street]3075-our street after picking up a bottle of wine and see [Kate]2557-kate in the distance , jumping around in the middle of [the road]2482-the road like the red headed nutter that [she]2557-kate is . As [I]2342-matt near , [I]2342-matt do a double take . Parked up next to [Margo]1052-margo is [another bright pink van]1052-margo , but [this one]1052-margo ’s brand spanking new . So , [Kate]2557-kate ’s finally invested in some new wheels . It ’s about time . ‘[2342-matt] Nice wheels . ’ [I]2342-matt say as [I]2342-matt approach . [She]2557-kate spins around , [her]2557-kate blue eyes dancing , [her]2557-kate pale cheeks flushed . ‘[2342-matt] Do [you]1463-you know anything about this ? ’ [Me]2342-matt ? ‘[2342-matt] Why would [I]2342-matt ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt just got [home]281-home and it was parked [here]314-here . [I]2342-matt admired it for a bit , walked through the front door and trod on the keys . Look . ’ [She]2557-kate thrusts the keys under [my]2342-matt nose , prompting [me]2342-matt to look at the note attached to a piece of string on the key ring . ‘[2342-matt] No more bruised butts , please . ’ No ! [He]1914-sam would n’t have , surely ? [I]2342-matt think back to [his]1914-sam fierce reaction to [my]2342-matt battered bottom . ‘[2342-matt] Have [you]1463-you spoken to [Sam]1914-sam ? ’ [I]1914-sam ask . ‘[1914-sam] Yep , [he]1914-sam said [I]2342-matt should speak to [Jesse]327-jesse . ’ ‘[1914-sam] Why would [he]1914-sam say that ? ’ [I]1914-sam ask shortly . ‘[1914-sam] Well , obviously , because [he]1914-sam thinks [Jesse]327-jesse is [the mystery van buyer]327-jesse . ’ [She]2557-kate rolls [her]2557-kate eyes . ‘[1914-sam] If [the Lord]349-the lord has brought [me]2342-matt a van so [you]1467-you do n’t bruise [your]1467-you arse again , then [I’ll]201-i’ll … well , [I]2342-matt ’ll love the fact that [you]1467-you bruise like a peach ! ’ This ca n’t be right . ‘[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate , [you]1467-you ca n’t accept it . ’ [She]2557-kate looks at [me]2557-kate in disgust , and [I]2557-kate know that there ’s not a hope in Hell of [her]2557-kate returning [the van]600-the van . [I]2557-kate can see it in [her]2557-kate delighted eyes . ‘[2557-kate] No fucking way ! Do n’t [you]1467-you dare make [me]2342-matt give it back , [I]2342-matt ’ve already christened [her]2557-kate . ’ ‘[2342-matt] What ? ’ [My]1052-margo tone is seriously lacking patience . [She]2557-kate spreads [her]2557-kate long , pale fingers over the bonnet . ‘[1052-margo] Meet , [Margo Junior]1052-margo . ’ [She]2557-kate lays [her]2557-kate torso down on the bonnet of [Margo Junior]1052-margo , caressing the pink metal . [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head in exasperation , stomping up the path to [the house]308-the place . No doubt [she]2557-kate loves the impossible prat even more now . What ’s [his]3079-his game , with flowers for [Sally]54-victoria and [a van for [Kate]2557-kate]3080-a van for kate ? Oh , and tossing [the Queen]3081-the queen ’s currency on the kitchen table like it ’s a tea towel ? ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m taking [her]2557-kate for a spin ! ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate yells up the path to [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt do n’t reply . Instead , [I]2342-matt take [myself]2342-matt up [the stairs]272-the stairs and straight into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen to put [my]2342-matt flowers in a vase and crack open [my]2342-matt bottle of wine . [I]2342-matt finish [my]2342-matt first glass and go for a shower . [He]1470-he brought [Kate]2557-kate a van ? [I]2342-matt take [my]2342-matt time washing the day away and leaving [[my]2342-matt conditioner]1471-my conditioner in for five minutes while [I]2342-matt shave . As [I]2342-matt turn the water off , [I]2342-matt hear the Stone Roses track [I]2342-matt ’ve been desperate to hear all day and nearly break [my]2342-matt neck scrambling out of the shower to sprint across the landing . The phone rings off , the screen clearing to reveal eight missed calls . Oh , no . [He]1470-he ’ll be ripping [his]1470-he hair out again . [I]2342-matt dial [him]1470-he as [I]2342-matt walk across [the landing]380-the landing and into [the lounge]614-the lounge , looking out of the window to see if [Kate]2557-kate ’s back . [She]2557-kate ’s not , but [Jesse]327-jesse is pacing up and down [the garden path]1474-the garden path , looking [his]327-jesse usual Godly self , in jeans and a thin knitted , navy jumper . [I]2342-matt smile , tingling from top to toe at the sight of [him]1470-he . [He]1470-he ’s frantically punching buttons on [his]1470-he phone and , just like [I]2342-matt knew it would , [my]2342-matt mobile lights up in [my]2342-matt hand . Ah ! ‘ Hello ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say , all cool and casual . ‘ Where the hell are [you]2342-matt ? ’[1470-he] [he]1470-he barks down the phone . [I]2342-matt ignore [his]1470-he tone . ‘ Where are [you]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt counter . Of course , [I]2342-matt know damn well where [he]1470-he is . [I]2342-matt stand at the window , watching [him]1470-he rake [his]1470-he hand through [his]1470-he hair , but then [he]1470-he disappears from view into the recess of the front door . ‘ [I]1470-he ’m[1470-he] outside [Kate]2557-kate ’s kicking the door down , ’ [he]1470-he snaps , ‘[2557-kate] Is it too much to ask that [you]1475-him answer [your]1475-him phone the first time [I]2342-matt call [you]1475-him ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt was otherwise engaged . Why have n’t [you]1475-him called all day ? ’ [I]832-ava ask , making [my]832-ava way down to the front door . ‘[832-ava] Because , [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt do n’t want [you]1475-him to feel hounded ! ’ [He]1475-him ’s completed exasperated , making [me]2342-matt smile . [I]2342-matt love every crazy element of [him]1475-him . ‘[2342-matt] But [you]1475-him ’re still shouting at [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt remind [him]1475-him . [I]2342-matt look out of the viewer , dissolving on the spot when [I]2342-matt see [him]1475-him leaning against the wall in the open porch way . ‘ [I]1475-him am , ’[1475-him] [he]1475-him says softly . ‘ [You]1475-him make [me]1475-him crazy . Where are [you]1475-him ? ’[1475-him] [I]2342-matt watch [him]1475-him slide down the wall until [his]1475-him arse hits the floor , knees bent , head dropped . Oh , [I]2342-matt ca n’t see [him]1475-him like that . [I]2342-matt open the door . ‘ Here , ’[1475-him] [He]1475-him looks up and drops [his]1475-him phone from [his]1475-him ear , but makes no attempt to get up . [He]1475-him just looks at [me]2342-matt , relief flooding [his]1475-him handsome face . [I]2342-matt step out and slide down the wall opposite [him]1475-him so [we]1476-we ’re sat across from each other , knee to knee . [I]2342-matt half expect [him]1475-him to throw [me]2342-matt inside because of [my]2342-matt half naked state , but [he]1475-him does n’t . Instead , [he]1475-him reaches forward and places [his]1475-him big hand on [my]2342-matt exposed knee . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] less than surprised when it sends hot sparks of fire flying off all over [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt was in the shower . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Well , take [your]2342-matt phone next time . ’[1475-him] [he]1475-him orders . ‘ Okay . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt salute [him]1475-him . ‘ Where are [your]2342-matt clothes ? ’[1475-him] [He]1475-him runs [his]1475-him green eyes over [my]2342-matt towel clad body . Ha ! [I]2342-matt would n’t have dared kept [him]1475-him waiting while [I]2342-matt got dressed . [I]2342-matt probably would ’ve found [him]1475-him dead of a seizure . ‘ In [my]2342-matt wardrobe , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt answer dryly . [His]1475-him hand disappears under [my]2342-matt towel , clasping [me]2342-matt above [my]2342-matt hip bone , prompting a jerk and the loosening of [my]2342-matt towel . ‘ [[My]2342-matt man]327-jesse ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look down [the path]2482-the road and see [Sam]1914-sam walking up . When [I]2342-matt return [my]2342-matt eyes to [Jesse]327-jesse , [he]327-jesse looks like [he]327-jesse may , very well , have a seizure now . [His]327-jesse eyes are wide as [he]327-jesse jumps to [his]327-jesse feet and yanks [me]2342-matt up , doing a spectacular job of keeping [me]2342-matt covered by the towel . ‘ [Sam]1914-sam , do n’t fucking move ! ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse yells . [I]2342-matt ’m scooped up and bundled through the door at breakneck speed , hearing [Sam]1914-sam laughing as [Jesse]327-jesse jogs up [the stairs]272-the stairs with [me]2342-matt in [his]327-jesse arms , muttering about ripping prying eyes out . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] tossed on the bed . ‘ Get dressed , [we]3083-we ’re[2342-matt] going out . ’ [I]2342-matt snap [my]2342-matt head up . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not going to [The Manor]2356-the manor . [I]2342-matt get up from the bed , minus one towel , and go to [my]2342-matt dressing table . ‘ Where ? ’[327-jesse] [His]327-jesse gaze travels down [my]2342-matt naked form . ‘ Well , it occurred to [me]327-jesse when [I]327-jesse was out running that [I]327-jesse ’ve not taken [you]3084-you for dinner yet . [You]3084-you have the most incredible legs . Get dressed . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse nods at [my]2342-matt wardrobe . If [he]327-jesse means dinner at [The Manor]2356-the manor , then [I]2342-matt ’m not game . [I]2342-matt ’ll avoid that place at all costs if [she]3085-she ’s there . And the chances are – now [I]2342-matt ’ve established that [she]3085-she works for [him]327-jesse – [she]3085-she will be . ‘[2342-matt] Where ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask again as [I]2342-matt start rubbing coco butter into [my]2342-matt legs . ‘[2342-matt] A little Italian place [I]2342-matt know . Now , get dressed before [I]2342-matt collect on [my]2342-matt debt . ’ [I]2342-matt stand , slowly massaging [my]2342-matt cream in . ‘[2342-matt] Debt ? ’ [His]2342-matt eyebrows rise . ‘[1479-you] [You]1479-you owe [me]2342-matt . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do ? ’ [I]2342-matt frown , but [I]2342-matt know exactly what [he]2342-matt ’s talking about . ‘[2342-matt] Oh , [you]1479-you do . [I]2342-matt ’ll wait outside at the risk of cashing in sooner , ’ [He]2342-matt gives [me]2342-matt [his]2342-matt roguish grin . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt would n’t want [you]1479-you to think this was all about sex . ’ [He]2342-matt leaves [me]2342-matt with that little comment before stalking out . Oh , it ’s not all about the sex ? Those few words have just made [my]2342-matt day . Maybe tonight [I]2342-matt ’ll find out what goes on in that beautiful , complex mind of [his]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] suddenly filled of hope . After much deliberation on what to wear – [I]2342-matt ’m shocked the decision has n’t been made for [me]2342-matt – [I]2342-matt settle on [my]2342-matt beige capri pants , a nude , silk shirt and cream ballet pumps . [I]2342-matt make sure [I]2342-matt put [my]2342-matt coral lace underwear on – [he]2342-matt loves [me]2342-matt in lace . [I]2342-matt rough [my]2342-matt hair up and smoke [my]2342-matt eyes out . Nude gloss finishes [me]2342-matt off . [I]2342-matt walk onto [the landing]380-the landing , finding an irritable [Jesse]327-jesse pacing up and down . [I]2342-matt frown . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt did n’t take that long . ’ [He]2342-matt looks up , giving [me]2342-matt [his]2342-matt glorious smile , reserved only for [women]348-women , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] reassured again . As [I]2342-matt approach [him]2342-matt , [he]2342-matt looks [me]2342-matt up and down with satisfaction , and as soon as [I]2342-matt ’m close enough , [he]2342-matt yanks [me]2342-matt into [his]2342-matt muscled body . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt ’re impossibly beautiful . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt breathes in [my]2342-matt hair . ‘ So are [you]2342-matt . Where ’s [Sam]1914-sam ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Kate]2557-kate ’s giving [him]2342-matt a tour of [the van]600-the van . ’[2342-matt] Oh , [I]2342-matt almost forgot about [Margo Junior]1052-margo . [I]2342-matt pull back , giving [him]2342-matt a suspicious glare . ‘ [You]2342-matt brought [Kate]2557-kate a van ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt smirks . ‘ Are [you]2342-matt jealous ? ’[2342-matt] What ? ‘ No ! ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt face straightens . ‘ Yes , [I]2342-matt brought [the van]600-the van . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Why ? ’[2342-matt] Does n’t [he]2342-matt think it ’s a bit weird ? Is [he]2342-matt trying to buy [[my]2342-matt friend]1342-my friend so [she]1342-my friend overlooks [his]1342-my friend unreasonable behavior ? ‘ Because , [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt do n’t want [you]832-ava being tossed about in [that shed]3089-that shed on wheels , that ’s why . And [I]2342-matt do n’t have to explain [myself]2342-matt to [you]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt huffs , standing back from [me]2342-matt with [his]2342-matt arms folded across [his]2342-matt chest . [I]2342-matt actually laugh . ‘ [You]832-ava brought [[my]2342-matt best friend]2426-my best friend [a van]3091-a van so [I]2342-matt wo n’t get injured holding a cake up ? ’[2342-matt] Oh , this is laughable . [He]2342-matt scowls at [me]2342-matt good and proper . ‘ Like [I]2342-matt said , [I]2342-matt do n’t have to explain [myself]2342-matt to [you]832-ava . Let ’s go . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt grabs [my]2342-matt hand , leading [me]2342-matt down to [the car]548-the car . ‘ [You]832-ava made [Sally]54-victoria ’s day today . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say , virtually jogging to keep up with [his]2342-matt long strides . ‘ Who ’s [Sally]54-victoria ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ The waif like creature in [[my]2342-matt office]1011-my office , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt remind [him]2342-matt , while considering if [his]2342-matt lack of memory is an indication of [his]2342-matt age too . ‘ Oh , has [she]2557-kate forgiven [me]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Undoubtedly , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mutter . [Kate]2557-kate spots [us]1482-us and launches [herself]2557-kate at [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘ Thank [you]2342-matt ! ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate sings it repeatedly in [his]2342-matt face . [Jesse]327-jesse holds on to [her]2557-kate with [his]2342-matt one free arm as [she]2557-kate continues to screech excitedly in [his]2342-matt ear . [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes at [her]2557-kate , spotting [Sam]1914-sam shaking [his]1914-sam head . [I]2342-matt ’m comforted by the fact that [Sam]1914-sam seems to find this all a bit over the top too . ‘[2342-matt] It ’s for [my]2342-matt benefit , [Kate]2557-kate , not [yours]2557-kate . ’ [he]1914-sam says . [She]2557-kate releases [him]1914-sam . ‘[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt know ! ’ [She]2557-kate grins , turning [her]2557-kate bright blues onto [me]2342-matt and mouthing , ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt love [him]1914-sam ! ’ ‘[2342-matt] Hey ! Where ’s the love ? ’ [Sam]1914-sam calls . [She]2557-kate skips off to throw [her]2557-kate arms around [Sam]1914-sam . [I]1483-crazy people roll [my]1483-crazy people eyes . [I]1483-crazy people ’m[1483-crazy people] surrounded by [crazy people]1483-crazy people . [We]1484-we pull up outside [a small Italian restaurant in [the West End]1486-the west end]1485-a small italian restaurant in the west end . [I]2342-matt get out of [the car]548-the car , and [Jesse]327-jesse comes to collect [me]2342-matt , grabbing [my]2342-matt hand and pulling [me]2342-matt into , what can only be described as , [a sitting room]1488-a sitting room . Dimly lit and with Italian paraphernalia in every nook and cranny , it ’s like [I]2342-matt ’ve stepped back in time to [the eighties in [Italy]7-italy]1489-the eighties in italy . ‘ [Sir Jesse]202-jesse , how very good it is to see [you]202-jesse . ’[1490-a small italian man] [A small Italian man]1490-a small italian man approaches . [He]1490-a small italian man has a naturally happy face . [Jesse]202-jesse clasps [his]1490-a small italian man hand . ‘ [Luigi]203-luigi , good to see [you]202-jesse too , ’[202-jesse] ‘ Come , come . ’[203-luigi] [Luigi]203-luigi gestures [us]1491-us further into [the room]2350-the room . [He]1490-a small italian man settles [us]1491-us at a little table in the corner . The table cloth is cream and embroidered with the Italia Turrita . It ’s very pretty . ‘ [Luigi]203-luigi , this is [Ava]832-ava . ’[202-jesse] [Jesse]202-jesse introduces [us]1491-us . [Luigi]203-luigi bows at [me]2342-matt . ‘ Ah , a beautiful name for [a beautiful lady]3093-a beautiful lady , yes ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m a bit embarrassed by [his]202-jesse forwardness . ‘[2342-matt] What would [Sir Jesse]202-jesse like ? ’ ‘[202-jesse] May [I]2342-matt ? ’ [Jesse]202-jesse asks , nodding at the menu . [He]202-jesse ’s asking [me]2342-matt ? ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt usually do . ’ [I]203-luigi mutter . [His]202-jesse eyebrow arches as [he]202-jesse puffs [his]202-jesse lips slightly , in a don’t - push - it gesture . [I]203-luigi let [him]202-jesse get on with it . [He]202-jesse obviously knows what ’s good on the menu . ‘[203-luigi] Okay , [Luigi]203-luigi . [We]1491-us ’ll have two of the fettuccine , with yellow squash , parmesan and lemon cream sauce , a bottle of [the Famiglia Anselma Barolo 2000]1493-the famiglia anselma barolo 2000 , and some water . [You]2342-matt got that ? ’ [Luigi]203-luigi scribbles frantically on [his]202-jesse pad , backing away . ‘[2342-matt] Yes , yes , [Sir Jesse]202-jesse . [I]2342-matt go now . ’ [Jesse]202-jesse smiles fondly . ‘[2342-matt] Thank [you]202-jesse , [Luigi]203-luigi . ’ [I]203-luigi gaze around [the cluttered restaurant]3094-the cluttered restaurant . ‘[203-luigi] Now , this is what [you]202-jesse call Italian shit . ’ [I]203-luigi murmur thoughtfully . [I]203-luigi find a smiling face around a chewed lip when [my]203-luigi eyes reach [Jesse]202-jesse . ‘[203-luigi] [You]202-jesse come here often ? ’ [I]203-luigi ask . [His]203-luigi smile broadens into knee trembling territory . ‘[203-luigi] Are [you]202-jesse trying to chat [me]2342-matt up ? ’ ‘[203-luigi] Of course , ’ [I]89-mario smile as [he]203-luigi shifts in [his]203-luigi chair . ‘[89-mario] [Mario]89-mario , [the head barman at [The Manor]2356-the manor]1494-the head barman at the manor , insisted [I]2342-matt try it , so [I]2342-matt did . [Luigi]203-luigi ’s [[his]203-luigi brother]1496-his brother . ’ ‘[203-luigi] [Luigi]203-luigi and [Mario]89-mario ? ’ [I]2342-matt snort , rather rudely . [Jesse]202-jesse raises [his]203-luigi eyebrows at [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sorry , that ’s really tickled [me]2342-matt ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]1496-his brother can see that . ’[1496-his brother] [He]1496-his brother frowns as [Luigi]203-luigi returns with the drinks . [Jesse]202-jesse pours [me]2342-matt some wine and [himself]1496-his brother some water . ‘ [You]203-luigi did n’t get a whole bottle for [me]202-jesse ? ’[202-jesse] [I]2342-matt blurt . ‘ Are [you]203-luigi not having any ? ’[2342-matt] Christ , [I]2342-matt ’ll be on [my]2342-matt back . ‘ No , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] driving . ’ ‘[2342-matt] And [I]2342-matt ’m allowed ? ’[1496-his brother] [His]1496-his brother lips press into a straight line , but [I]2342-matt can see [he]1496-his brother ’s trying to suppress a smile at [my]2342-matt cheekiness . ‘ [You]203-luigi may . ’[1496-his brother] [I]2342-matt grin , picking up [my]2342-matt glass and sipping carefully as [he]1496-his brother watches [me]2342-matt . It ’s lovely . As [I]2342-matt look over the table at [the beautiful , neurotic man , who has fucked [my]2342-matt plans right up]1497-the beautiful , neurotic man , who has fucked my plans right up , [my]2342-matt brain is suddenly bombarded with questions . ‘ [I]2342-matt want to know how old [you]203-luigi are . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt state confidently . This whole age thing is really quite stupid . [He]1496-his brother circles the rim of [his]1496-his brother glass with the tip of [his]1496-his brother finger as [he]1496-his brother watches [me]2342-matt . ‘ Twenty eight . Tell [me]1496-his brother about [[your]203-luigi family]3095-your family . ’[1496-his brother] Huh ? Oh , no , no , no ! ‘ [I]1496-his brother asked first . ’[1496-his brother] ‘ And [I]2342-matt answered . Tell [me]2342-matt about [[your]203-luigi family]3095-your family . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head in despair and resign [myself]2342-matt to the fact that [I]2342-matt ’m in love with [a man of an age [I]2342-matt do n’t know and , quite possibly , never will do]3096-a man of an age i do n’t know and , quite possibly , never will do . ‘[2342-matt] [They]1498-they retired to [Newquay]19-newquay a few years back , ’ [I]1498-they sigh , ‘[1498-they] [Dad]581-dad ran a construction firm , [Mum]577-mum was [a house wife]577-mum . [[My]2342-matt Dad]581-dad had a heart attack scare so [they]1498-they took early retirement to [Cornwall]18-cornwall . [[My]2342-matt brother]2486-my brother is living the dream in [Australia]14-australia . ’ That ’s pretty much it in a nutshell . ‘[2486-my brother] Why do [you]1500-you not speak to [[your]1500-you parents]2962-your parents ? ’ [I]2486-my brother ask . [I]2486-my brother know [I]2486-my brother ’m[2486-my brother] on dodgy ground here , especially after [his]2486-my brother last response to that very question . [I]2342-matt watch carefully , almost apprehensively , for [his]2486-my brother reaction . [I]2342-matt ’m more than shocked when [he]2486-my brother takes a sip of water , then launches into [his]2486-my brother answer . ‘[1498-they] [They]1498-they live in [Marbella]45-marbella . [[My]2342-matt sister]1502-my sister ’s there too . [I]2342-matt ’ve not spoken to [them]1498-they for years . [They]1498-they did n’t approve when [Carmichael]327-jesse left [me]2342-matt [The Manor]3-the manor and all of [[his]327-jesse estate]3-the manor . ’ Oh ? ‘[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse left it all to [you]327-jesse ? ’ [I]327-jesse can see why that might cause a family feud , especially if there ’s [a sister in the picture]3097-a sister in the picture . ‘[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse did . [We]1503-we were close , and [he]327-jesse did n’t talk to [[my]2342-matt parents]2490-my parents . [They]2490-my parents did n’t approve . ’ ‘[2490-my parents] [They]2490-my parents did n’t approve of [your]327-jesse relationship ? ’ ‘[2490-my parents] No , [they]2490-my parents did n’t . ’ [He]327-jesse starts chewing [his]327-jesse lip . ‘[2490-my parents] What was not to approve of ? ’ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] completely intrigued now . [He]327-jesse sighs . ‘ As soon as [I]327-jesse left [college]343-college , [I]327-jesse spent all of [my]327-jesse time with [Carmichael]327-jesse . [Mum]577-mum , [Dad]581-dad and [Amalie]204-amalie moved to [Spain]16-spain , and [I]327-jesse refused to go . [I]327-jesse was eighteen and having the time of [my]327-jesse life . [I]327-jesse stayed with [Carmichael]327-jesse when [they]3099-they left . [They]3099-they were n’t happy about it . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse shrugs . ‘ Three years later , [Carmichael]327-jesse died and [I]327-jesse was left to run [The Manor]2356-the manor . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse tells the story with no emotion . [He]327-jesse takes another swig of water . ‘ The relationship was strained after that . [They]3099-they demanded [I]72-jesus sell [The Manor]2356-the manor but [I]72-jesus could n’t . It was [[Carmichael]327-jesse ’s baby]327-jesse . ’[72-jesus] [Christ]72-jesus . [I]2342-matt ’ve found out more about [this man]327-jesse in five minutes than [I]2342-matt have since [I]2342-matt ’ve known [him]327-jesse . Why is [he]327-jesse so talkative tonight ? [I]2342-matt decide to take advantage – [I]2342-matt do n’t know when [I]2342-matt ’ll get another chance . ‘ What do [you]2342-matt do for fun ? ’[327-jesse] [His]327-jesse green eyes flash black and [he]327-jesse grins wickedly . ‘ Fuck [you]2342-matt . ’[327-jesse] [My]2342-matt eyes widen at [his]327-jesse crass answer , and [I]2342-matt cave on the inside . [He]327-jesse sees [me]2342-matt as [his]327-jesse current fun ? Now [I]2342-matt just feel shitty . [I]2342-matt shift in [my]2342-matt seat and break the eye connection , taking a sip of wine . [I]2342-matt hate this regular plummeting feeling that [I]2342-matt ’m getting of late . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] on [Central Jesse Cloud Nine]46-central jesse cloud nine one moment , then one comment brings [me]2342-matt crashing down to reality . [I]2342-matt ca n’t cope with all these mixed signals . ‘ [You]2342-matt like power in [the bedroom]535-the bedroom . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt state without a trace of a blush . [I]2342-matt ’m proud of [myself]2342-matt . [His]327-jesse skill and influence on [my]2342-matt entire being has [me]2342-matt nervous . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do . ’ [His]327-jesse face is completely impassive when [I]2342-matt return [my]2342-matt eyes to [his]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]1505-you a dominant ? ’ [I]832-ava blurt , and then mentally stab [myself]832-ava with the fancy , silver fork at [my]832-ava place setting . Where did that come from ? [He]327-jesse coughs , nearly spitting [his]327-jesse water all over [me]832-ava . Why did [I]832-ava ask that for ? Placing [his]327-jesse glass down , [he]327-jesse picks up [his]327-jesse cloth napkin to wipe [his]327-jesse mouth as [he]327-jesse shakes [his]327-jesse head on a half - smile . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt do n’t need that sort of arrangement to get [a woman]395-a woman to do what [I]2342-matt want [her]395-a woman to do in [the bedroom]535-the bedroom . [I]2342-matt have n’t got the time or inclination for crap like that . ’ [I]2342-matt sag slightly . ‘[2342-matt] [You]1508-you seem to be committing a lot of time to [me]2342-matt . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt suppose [I]2342-matt am . ’ [He]1509-that one gazes past [me]1508-you thoughtfully . ‘[1508-you] [You]1508-you ’re very controlling . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt state coolly , observing the swirling of [my]2342-matt wine . [I]2342-matt ’ll get [that one]1509-that one out there too . ‘ Look at [me]1509-that one . ’[1509-that one] [he]1509-that one demands softy , and like the slave to [him]1509-that one that [I]2342-matt am , [I]2342-matt look . [His]1509-that one green eyes have softened as [he]1509-that one sits back , relaxed in [his]1509-that one chair . ‘ Only with [you]1508-you , ’[1509-that one] ‘ Why ? ’[1509-that one] ‘ [I]1509-that one do n’t know . ’[1509-that one] [He]1509-that one has a quick chew of [his]1509-that one lip . ‘ [You]1508-you make [me]1509-that one crazy . ’[1509-that one] What ? Well , that clears things up no end . Does [he]1509-that one think [I]2342-matt need [some sort of father figure]1510-some sort of father figure ? [I]2342-matt ’m beyond confused . [I]2342-matt sigh wearily into [my]2342-matt wine glass . [I]2342-matt make [him]1509-that one crazy ? Right back attcha , [Ward]327-jesse ! ‘[2342-matt] Here ’s [your]1511-your pasta . ’ [he]1509-that one says . [I]1512-lovely people look up and see [Luigi]203-luigi singing as [he]1509-that one approaches . [I]1512-lovely people ’ve completely lost [my]1512-lovely people appetite . ‘[1512-lovely people] [Lovely people]1512-lovely people , ’ [he]1509-that one places two considerable bowls in front of [us]3102-us . ‘[205-buon appetito] [Buon appetito]205-buon appetito ! ’ ‘[205-buon appetito] Thank [you]1511-your , [Luigi]203-luigi . ’ [Jesse]327-jesse smiles politely . [He]327-jesse flicks [me]203-luigi a questioning look , but [I]203-luigi ignore it and smile [my]203-luigi thanks at [Luigi]203-luigi . [He]327-jesse ’s just like [Mario]89-mario . [I]203-luigi stir the pasta with [my]203-luigi fork , it smells heavenly , but [my]203-luigi stomach is now a knot of confusion . [I]203-luigi play with it for a few moments , then try a bit . ‘[203-luigi] Good ? ’ [Jesse]327-jesse asks . [I]203-luigi nod lamely , even though it is very good . [We]3103-we eat in silence for a while , occasionally tossing stares at each other . The food is wonderful , and [I]203-luigi ’m[203-luigi] feeling guilty for not enjoying it as much as it deserves . ‘ When did [you]3104-you buy [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [He]2342-matt pauses with [his]2342-matt fork half way to [his]2342-matt mouth . ‘ March . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt answers , taking [his]2342-matt last mouthful of food and pushing [his]2342-matt bowl away before picking up [his]2342-matt water . ‘ [You]3104-you never told [me]2342-matt why [you]3104-you requested [me]2342-matt personally to work on the extension of [The Manor]2356-the manor . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt give up on [my]2342-matt pasta , pushing it away . [Jesse]327-jesse looks at the half eaten dish and returns [his]327-jesse eyes to [mine]2342-matt . ‘ [I]327-jesse brought [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse and loved what [you]3104-you did with it . [I]327-jesse can assure [you]3104-you , [I]327-jesse did n’t expect [you]3104-you to come rocking up , with [your]3104-you perfect figure , olive skin and big brown eyes . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse shakes [his]327-jesse head , as if shaking off the memory . [I]2342-matt feel somewhat better knowing [he]327-jesse was as shocked to see [me]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt was to see [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt scoff . ‘ [You]3104-you were n’t exactly [the Lord of [the Manor]2356-the manor [I]2342-matt was expecting]3108-the lord of the manor i was expecting . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do [my]2342-matt own little shudder when [I]2342-matt recall the affect [he]327-jesse had on [me]2342-matt ; the affect [he]327-jesse still has on [me]2342-matt . ‘ How did [you]3104-you know where [I]327-jesse was on that Monday lunchtime when [I]327-jesse bumped into [you]3104-you at [the bar]361-the bar ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse shrugs . ‘ [Lucky]206-lucky guess , ’[327-jesse] ‘ Of course , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scoff . Followed [me]2342-matt , more like . [I]2342-matt look up and see a smile tickling the edge of [his]327-jesse luscious lips . ‘ [I]2342-matt could n’t think of anything else after [you]3104-you left [The Manor]2356-the manor . ’[2342-matt] ‘ So [you]3104-you pursued [me]2342-matt relentlessly . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt retort quietly . ‘ [I]2342-matt had to have [you]3104-you . ’[2342-matt] ‘ And now [you]3104-you have . Do [you]3104-you always take what [you]3104-you want ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse watches [me]2342-matt across the table , [his]327-jesse face completely straight as [he]327-jesse leans forward . ‘ [I]327-jesse ca n’t answer that , [Ava]832-ava , because [I]327-jesse ’ve never wanted anything enough to pursue it so relentlessly . Not like [I]327-jesse wanted [you]327-jesse . [I]327-jesse notice [he]327-jesse uses past tense . ‘[327-jesse] Do [you]327-jesse still ? ’ [He]327-jesse sits back in [his]327-jesse chair and studies [me]327-jesse , stroking [his]327-jesse glass of water . ‘[327-jesse] More than anything , ’ A little gush of air escapes [my]327-jesse mouth . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] not sure if it ’s relief or desire . [I]2342-matt know nothing anymore . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] [yours]327-jesse . ’ [I]832-ava say resolutely . That ’s it . [I]832-ava ’ve just thrown [my]832-ava heart on the table for [this man]327-jesse . [His]327-jesse tongue slowly sweeps across [his]327-jesse bottom lip . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [you]327-jesse ’ve been [mine]327-jesse since [you]327-jesse turned up at [The Manor]2356-the manor . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Have [I]2342-matt ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Yes . Will [you]327-jesse spend the night with [me]2342-matt ? ’ ‘[327-jesse] Are [you]327-jesse asking or demanding ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m asking , but if [you]327-jesse give [me]2342-matt the wrong answer , then [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sure [I]2342-matt can think of something to change [your]327-jesse mind . ’ [He]327-jesse smiles slightly . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll spend the night with [you]327-jesse . ’ [He]327-jesse nods in approval . ‘[2342-matt] Tomorrow night ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Yes . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Take the day off . ’ [he]327-jesse demands . ‘[2342-matt] No . ’ [His]327-jesse eyes narrow . ‘[2342-matt] What about Friday evening ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve arranged to go out with [Kate]2557-kate on Friday night . ’ [I]2342-matt inform [him]327-jesse , resisting the temptation to reach up and twiddle [my]2342-matt hair . [He]327-jesse ca n’t assume [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] there at [his]2342-matt demand . [I]2342-matt hope [she]2557-kate ’s free . [His]2342-matt narrowed eyes instantly darken . ‘ [Cancel]207-cancel . ’[2342-matt] Now , this is something [I]2342-matt do need to clear up , pronto – [his]2342-matt neurotic unreasonableness . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going out to have a few drinks . [You]1514-you ca n’t stop [me]2342-matt from seeing [[my]2342-matt friends]1515-my friends , [Jesse]327-jesse . ’ ‘[327-jesse] How many is a few drinks ? ’ [I]2342-matt can feel [my]2342-matt brow knitting . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know . That depends on how [I]2342-matt feel . ’ [I]2342-matt look at [him]327-jesse accusingly . [I]2342-matt suspect [I]2342-matt might be gagging by Friday if [he]327-jesse keeps up with [his]327-jesse crazy behaviour . [He]327-jesse ’s giving [me]2342-matt brain ache as well as body ache . [He]327-jesse starts chewing [his]327-jesse bottom lip again , and [I]2342-matt can see the cogs of [his]327-jesse mind going into overdrive . [He]327-jesse ’s trying to work out how [he]327-jesse ’s going to get around this . [I]2342-matt have n’t done [myself]2342-matt any favours by getting in such a state last Saturday . That was [his]327-jesse fault . Should [I]2342-matt tell [him]327-jesse that ? ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t want [you]1516-you out drinking without [me]2342-matt . ’ [he]2342-matt says firmly . ‘[2342-matt] Well , that ’s a bit of bad luck , is n’t it ? ’ [God]68-god , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] being rather brave . What percentage is this wine ? ‘ [We]1517-we ’ll see . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt muses to [himself]2342-matt . [We]1517-we sit quietly , looking at each other across the table , [him]2342-matt scowling , [me]2342-matt hiding a small smile . After a few moments , [he]2342-matt leans back casually in [his]2342-matt chair at a slight angle , [his]2342-matt eyes rapt with intention . [I]2342-matt do n’t shy away from [his]2342-matt concentrated stare . [I]2342-matt meet it with equal intent , in a barefaced come on . [I]2342-matt want [him]2342-matt desperately , despite [his]2342-matt challenging ways . [Luigi]203-luigi comes over and clears [our]1517-we plates , intruding on [our]1517-we moment . ‘ [You]203-luigi like ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt sings . [Jesse]327-jesse does n’t fracture the connection . ‘ Great , [Luigi]203-luigi . Thank [you]203-luigi . ’[327-jesse] [His]2342-matt voice is throaty and [he]2342-matt ’s tapping the table with [his]2342-matt middle finger . [I]2342-matt feel [his]2342-matt leg brush against [mine]2342-matt , and that ’s all it takes to hitch [my]2342-matt breath up several notches and spring [my]2342-matt nerve endings to life . [I]2342-matt ’m blazing from head to toe ... and [he]2342-matt knows it . ‘[203-luigi] The bill , please , [Luigi]203-luigi . ’ [he]2342-matt demands , [his]2342-matt friendly tone altering into one of urgency . [Luigi]203-luigi seems to get the message because [he]203-luigi does n’t offer [us]1518-we the dessert menu . [He]203-luigi just scuttles off , returning , almost immediately , carrying a black plate filled with mints and a piece of paper . Without looking at the bill , [Jesse]327-jesse stands and pulls a wad of notes from [his]327-jesse jean pocket , slapping some down on the table . [He]327-jesse reaches over and seizes [my]1518-we hand . ‘[1518-we] [We]1518-we ’re going . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m hauled from [my]2342-matt chair , leaving [me]2342-matt to grab [my]2342-matt bag and throw [my]2342-matt napkin on the table as [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] rushed to the door . ‘ Are [you]3112-you in a hurry ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask as [I]2342-matt ’m guided to [the car]548-the car by [my]2342-matt elbow . [He]2342-matt makes no attempt to slow down . ‘[2342-matt] Yes . ’ When [we]1518-we reach [the car]548-the car , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] whirled around and shoved up against the door . [His]2342-matt forehead meets [mine]2342-matt , [our]1518-we heavy breaths merging together in the small space between [our]1518-we mouths . [His]2342-matt erection is painfully hard against [my]2342-matt lower stomach . Oh God , [I]2342-matt want [him]2342-matt to take [me]2342-matt here and now . Damn [anyone who wants to watch]1519-anyone who wants to watch . ‘ [I]1520-you ’m[1520-you] going to fuck [you]1520-you until [you]1520-you ’re seeing stars , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt voice is harsh as [he]2342-matt grinds [his]2342-matt hips against [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt whimper . ‘ [You]1520-you wo n’t be going to work tomorrow because [you]1520-you wo n’t be able to walk . Get in [the car]548-the car . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt would , but [I]2342-matt already ca n’t walk . [Suspense]208-suspense has rendered [me]2342-matt immobile . After a few seconds have passed and [I]2342-matt ’ve still not convinced [my]2342-matt legs to shift , [he]2342-matt pulls [me]2342-matt out of the way , opens the door and gently shoves [me]2342-matt into [the passenger seat]548-the car . Chapter 25 [Our]1522-our journey back to [Lusso]66-lusso is the longest [I]2342-matt ’ve ever endured . The sexual tension bouncing around in [[his]2342-matt car]548-the car is excruciating , and [Jesse]327-jesse is almost violent when [he]327-jesse gets stuck behind [a Sunday driver]1524-a sunday driver . ‘ [Some people]472-some people should n’t be allowed on [the fucking road]3115-the fucking road . MOVE ! ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse performs a highly illegal manoeuvre , overtaking [the car]548-the car on [a single carriageway]1525-a single carriageway . [He]327-jesse frequently adjusts [his]327-jesse groin area , and in the dim light of [the DBS]43-the dbs , [I]2342-matt see a shimmer of sweat across [his]327-jesse brow . Oh , [he]327-jesse ’s [a man on a mission]1526-a man on a mission . [He]327-jesse skids to a halt outside [the electronic gates of [Lusso]66-lusso]1527-the electronic gates of lusso and presses a remote to open [them]1527-the electronic gates of lusso , [his]327-jesse hand drumming on the steering wheel as [he]327-jesse waits impatiently for [them]1527-the electronic gates of lusso to shift . [I]2342-matt smile . ‘ [You]832-ava ’re[2342-matt] going to have a seizure if [you]1528-you do n’t calm down . ’ [He]327-jesse pauses with the drumming and looks at [me]832-ava , all smoky . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt ’ve had a fucking seizure every day since [I]2342-matt met [you]832-ava . ’ ‘[832-ava] [You]832-ava ’re swearing a lot . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt muse as the gates open and [he]327-jesse pulls into [the car park]1529-the car park , fast and carelessly . ‘ And [you]832-ava ’re[327-jesse] going to be screaming a lot , ’ There is no humour in [his]327-jesse tone . ‘[327-jesse] Out . ’ [he]327-jesse orders . [I]327-jesse ’ve no doubt [I]327-jesse will be , but [I]327-jesse do love it when [he]327-jesse ’s in these frenzies . [I]327-jesse take [my]327-jesse time getting out of [the car]548-the car , and when [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] finally vertical , [I]2342-matt glance up and find [he]327-jesse ’s stood in front of [me]2342-matt , with a very irked look on [his]327-jesse face . ‘ What are [you]327-jesse doing ? ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse asks incredulously at [my]2342-matt leisurely pace . [I]2342-matt gaze around at the black night - time sky and down to [the docks]2630-the docks . ‘ Do [you]327-jesse fancy a walk ? ’[327-jesse] [His]327-jesse mouth drops open . ‘ Do [I]327-jesse fancy a walk ? ’[327-jesse] ‘ Yes , it ’s a lovely evening . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt return [my]2342-matt gaze to [him]327-jesse , doing a rubbish job of hiding [my]2342-matt smug smile . ‘ No , [Ava]832-ava , [I]327-jesse fancy fucking [you]832-ava until [you]832-ava beg [me]327-jesse to stop . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse bends , grabs [me]2342-matt around the back of [my]2342-matt thighs and hoists [me]2342-matt over [his]327-jesse shoulder , kicking shut the door of [[his]327-jesse ridiculously expensive car]1531-his ridiculously expensive car . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse ! ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt stomach catapults into [my]2342-matt mouth at the swift movement . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’ll walk ! ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse starts striding into [the foyer of [Lusso]66-lusso]1251-the foyer of lusso . ‘ Not fast enough . Good evening , [Clive]101-clive . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt brace [my]2342-matt hands on [Jesse]327-jesse ’s lower back , craning [my]2342-matt head up to find [Clive]101-clive observing [me]2342-matt draped over [Jesse]327-jesse ’s shoulder . What must [he]327-jesse think of [me]2342-matt ? The last time [I]2342-matt entered [Lusso]66-lusso [I]2342-matt was being carried too . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not drunk ! ’ [I]2342-matt yell , watching [Clive]101-clive disappear from sight as [Jesse]327-jesse carries [me]2342-matt into [the elevator]780-the elevator and punches the code in harshly . In [my]2342-matt sassy state , [I]2342-matt slide [my]2342-matt hands beneath [his]327-jesse jeans , onto [his]327-jesse fantastic , tight arse , to feel the tense and swell of [his]327-jesse muscles and smooth , warm skin as [he]327-jesse strides out of the lift . ‘[2342-matt] No fucking about . [I]2342-matt want inside [you]65-ha now . [You]65-ha fuck about , [I]2342-matt swear to [God]68-god ... ’ [He]65-ha ’s deadly serious . ‘[65-ha] [You]65-ha ’re so romantic . ’[65-ha] ‘ [We]1534-we ’ve got all the time in [the world]516-the world for romance , [lady]65-ha . ’[1534-we] Have [we]1534-we ? [He]65-ha barges into [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse , slamming the door behind [him]65-ha . [I]2342-matt ’m a touch disorientated when [he]65-ha lowers [me]65-ha to [my]65-ha feet in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . [I]65-ha stand before [him]65-ha , [my]65-ha hands resting on [his]65-ha shoulders , trying to get [my]65-ha bearings . ‘[65-ha] [You]65-ha know , [you]65-ha ’re really not going to be in a fit state to work tomorrow . ’[65-ha] [His]65-ha hot breath is leaving condensation on [my]2342-matt face . ‘ [Strip]210-strip , now . ’[65-ha] [I]2342-matt ’m shaking – visibly shaking . [I]2342-matt demand [my]2342-matt hands to remove [themselves]3120-themselves from [his]65-ha shoulders , but [they]3120-themselves ’re[2342-matt] having none of it . [I]2342-matt try to pull [myself]2342-matt together , but it ’s impossible when [he]65-ha ’s looking at [me]2342-matt like that . [I]2342-matt feel [his]65-ha hands lay over [mine]2342-matt and peel them away from [his]65-ha shoulders . [He]65-ha places them on [my]2342-matt stomach . ‘ Start with the shirt . ’[65-ha] [His]65-ha voice is throaty , tinged with a bit of desperation . [I]2342-matt can do this ; [I]2342-matt can be audacious . ‘ So , am [I]2342-matt in charge ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask , inwardly bracing [myself]2342-matt for [his]65-ha scoff . It does n’t come . [He]65-ha looks at [me]2342-matt , the slight surprise at [my]2342-matt question clear , but [he]65-ha does n’t laugh . [He]65-ha ca n’t be in control all of the time . ‘ If it makes [you]3121-you happy , ’[65-ha] [He]65-ha unclasps [his]65-ha Rolex and slides it onto [the island]2653-the island . Oh , it does . [I]2342-matt give [myself]2342-matt a mental pep talk . [I]2342-matt can do this , [I]2342-matt can do this . [I]2342-matt take a deep breath and , staring [him]65-ha boldly in the eye , raise [my]2342-matt hands to [my]2342-matt top button , willing [my]2342-matt fingers to co - operate . Every button [I]2342-matt undo , [his]65-ha face strains harder , and [I]2342-matt become bolder . If this is n’t fucking about , then [I]2342-matt do n’t know what is . [I]2342-matt release [my]2342-matt shirt , letting it hang open , and watch as [he]65-ha scrapes [his]65-ha eyes down [my]2342-matt torso , [his]65-ha tongue running across [his]65-ha parted bottom lip . Liking this response [I]2342-matt ’m getting , [I]2342-matt take [my]2342-matt hands to [my]2342-matt shoulders and pull [my]2342-matt shirt away , accentuating the slow push forward of [my]2342-matt breasts when [I]2342-matt lower it down [my]2342-matt arms . Like the wanton sex fiend that [I]2342-matt am , [I]2342-matt hold it out to [my]2342-matt side for a few seconds while [his]65-ha eyes travel back up [my]2342-matt body . Then , when [our]3122-our eyes meet again , [I]2342-matt dramatically open [my]2342-matt palm and let it fall to the floor , leaving [my]2342-matt arm outstretched and hovering at [my]2342-matt side for a few seconds . [His]65-ha eyes are blazing , [his]65-ha forehead damp . Oh , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] really doing this well . ‘ [I]1537-his love [you]1537-his in lace . ’[1537-his] [he]1537-his whispers . [I]2342-matt smile . [I]2342-matt ’m really into [my]2342-matt stride now . [I]2342-matt lower [my]2342-matt steady hands to the fly of [my]2342-matt trousers and lazily undo one button at a time as [he]1537-his watches . [His]1537-his panting is increasing by the second , and the drain on [his]1537-his self - control has [him]1537-his chewing [his]1537-his lip to the point of drawing blood . Once all the buttons are undone and [my]2342-matt trousers are gaping open , [I]2342-matt stand with [my]2342-matt hands tucked in the front , ready to drag [them]3123-them down [my]2342-matt legs , but [I]2342-matt do n’t . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] too enthralled by [his]1537-his reaction to [my]2342-matt shameless strip . [I]2342-matt like this role reversal . [He]1537-his looks up at [me]2342-matt , [his]1537-his eyes blazing and desperate . ‘ [I]1537-his could rip them off in two seconds flat . ’[1537-his] ‘ But [you]1538-you wo n’t . ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt voice is husky and alluring . [I]2342-matt ’m stunned by [my]1538-you own brashness . ‘[1538-you] [You]1538-you ’ll wait . ’ [I]1538-you kick [my]1538-you shoes off , sending them flying a few yards across [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . [He]1537-his follows [their]3125-their course before looking back at [me]1538-you with raised eyebrows . ‘[1538-you] Taking this a bit far , are n’t [you]1538-you ? ’ [I]0-the one smile sweetly as little by little , inch by inch , [I]0-the one slide [my]0-the one capri pants down [my]0-the one legs and kick them off . [I]0-the one ’m[0-the one] stood in [my]2342-matt coral lace underwear before [this glorious man]0-the one , and [I]2342-matt ’ve lost all [my]2342-matt inhibitions . It ’s an eye - opener . Who would have thought [I]2342-matt could be so brash ? [I]2342-matt like being in charge ! [He]0-the one lifts [his]0-the one hand to stroke [my]2342-matt chest . ‘ No . ’[0-the one] [I]2342-matt utter firmly , [his]0-the one hand floating over [my]2342-matt breast bone . It ’s not touching [me]2342-matt , but the heat emanating from it has [me]2342-matt nearly hyperventilating . Here ’s [me]2342-matt telling [him]0-the one to wait , and [I]2342-matt ’m as desperate as [he]0-the one is . [My]1540-you self - control is wavering , but [I]1540-you really love this power . ‘[1540-you] Fuck [you]1540-you . ’ [he]0-the one mumbles , dropping [his]0-the one hand . ‘[1540-you] Please do . ’ [He]0-the one smirks . ‘[1540-you] Beg . ’ Beg ? How did this turn around so quickly ? [I]2342-matt do n’t think so . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt would rather go without . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Leave [your]1540-you hair alone , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [His]0-the one eyes darken further . [I]1540-you drop [my]1540-you hair , while [he]0-the one drops [his]0-the one eyes . ‘[1540-you] [You]1540-you ’re still wearing [your]1540-you underwear . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt glance down . ‘ What are going to do about that ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to do nothing , ’ [he]0-the one shrugs . ‘[2342-matt] Unless [you]1540-you beg , ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t think so . ’ [I]2342-matt say coolly . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not backing down . ‘ [We]3126-we might be here a while then . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [We]3126-we might . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt agree . ‘ Maybe longer than Friday , ’[74-a god] [He]74-a god ’s pokerfaced . Oh , the sly sod ! [He]74-a god just ca n’t let it drop , can [he]74-a god ? [I]2342-matt narrow [my]2342-matt eyes at [him]74-a god as [he]74-a god raises [his]74-a god eyebrows at [me]2342-matt . So , [we]1542-we ’re in a stand - off , [neither one of [us]1542-we]3127-neither one of us wanting to make the first move . [He]74-a god should ! [He]74-a god ’s [the one who declared [he]74-a god wanted no fucking about , so help [him]74-a god God]74-a god … What to do ? What to do ? And then it comes to [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sorry , [I]2342-matt ca n’t fuck about . [I]2342-matt have work tomorrow . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt turn to leave , hearing that familiar growl [I]2342-matt love so much , [his]74-a god arm scooping around [my]2342-matt waist and lifting [me]2342-matt from [my]2342-matt feet . [I]2342-matt crumble in half over [his]74-a god forearm . [I]2342-matt ca n’t help it ... [I]2342-matt laugh . [He]74-a god paces towards [the kitchen island]1543-the kitchen island and flips [me]2342-matt around , sitting [me]2342-matt on [the cold granite]1544-the cold granite . [His]74-a god eyes are full of displeasure at [my]2342-matt little joke . ‘ When will [you]74-a god fucking listen , [lady]74-a god ? [You]74-a god ’re[74-a god] not going anywhere , ’ [He]74-a god nudges [my]74-a god thighs apart , edging between [them]3128-them with [his]74-a god hands on [my]74-a god waist , [his]74-a god face deadly serious . [I]74-a god ’m[74-a god] still recovering from [my]2342-matt laughing fit , but it soon subsides when [he]74-a god pulls [me]2342-matt forward to meet [his]74-a god groin , [his]74-a god erection rubbing [me]2342-matt in just the right spot . [I]2342-matt moan , placing [my]2342-matt hands around [his]74-a god neck . ‘ And watch [your]74-a god mouth . ’[74-a god] [he]74-a god grumbles , [his]74-a god concentration slash concern frown , not so light on [his]74-a god forehead . It ’s concern this time . Is [he]74-a god really serious about [me]2342-matt never going anywhere ? What ? Ever ? ‘ [I]74-a god ’m[74-a god] sorry . ’ [I]1545-i say genuinely . [I]1545-i should n’t play with [him]74-a god like that . It ’s obvious [he]74-a god has issues with non - conformity . ‘[1545-i] [You]1545-i really know how to rub [me]2342-matt up the wrong way , ’ [he]74-a god mutters . ‘[1545-i] [We]1546-my do things [my]2342-matt way from now on . ’ ‘[1546-my] [We]1546-my always do things [your]1545-i way . ’ [I]1546-my sulk on a pout . ‘[1546-my] Correct . Get use to it . ’ [He]74-a god stands before [me]1546-my , pulling [his]74-a god jumper up over [his]74-a god head , kicking [his]74-a god Grensons off , before making quick work of [his]74-a god jeans and boxers . [I]1546-my sit patiently , more than happy to watch [him]74-a god undress . [This man]74-a god is [a God]74-a god . [I]1546-my drag [my]1546-my eyes down the full loveliness of [him]74-a god , briefly faltering on [his]74-a god scar and settling on [his]74-a god thick , pulsing erection . ‘[1546-my] It ’s rude to stare . ’ [he]74-a god says softly . [My]1546-my eyes jump to [his]74-a god , uncertain as to whether [he]74-a god ’s referring to [me]1546-my looking at [his]74-a god scar or [[his]74-a god beautiful manhood]3129-his beautiful manhood . [He]74-a god does n’t elaborate . [He]74-a god moves back into [me]1546-my , reaching around [my]1546-my back to unhook [my]1546-my bra , slowly drawing it down [my]1546-my arms and tossing it behind [him]74-a god . Resting [his]74-a god hands on the edge of the worktop , [he]74-a god watches [me]1546-my as [he]74-a god leans down and takes a nipple in [his]74-a god mouth , slowly swirling and flicking it with [his]74-a god tongue . In pure , unashamed bliss , [I]1546-my sigh , reaching up to lace [my]1546-my fingers in [his]74-a god hair as [he]74-a god divides [his]74-a god attention between each of [my]1546-my breasts . [My]1546-my head falls back and [I]1546-my close [my]1546-my eyes , absorbing [his]74-a god attentive mouth . [I]1546-my really do n’t mind letting [him]74-a god take control . In fact , [I]1546-my love it . [His]74-a god tongue starts a lazy trail up the centre of [my]1546-my body , finishing with a soft kiss on [my]1546-my chin . ‘[1546-my] Lift . ’ [he]2342-matt commands , grasping [my]2342-matt knickers . [I]2342-matt brace [myself]2342-matt up on the worktop , letting [him]2342-matt pull them down [my]2342-matt legs . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll be back . [I]2342-matt ’m a bit peckish . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt reluctantly release [his]2342-matt hair and [he]2342-matt wanders , boldly and with poise , over to the fridge - freezer , completely butt naked . [I]2342-matt sit rapt by the tremendous view of [his]2342-matt impossibly taut arse , long , lean legs and powerful , smooth back . [His]2342-matt gait is all the better when [he]2342-matt ’s naked . ‘ Enjoying the scenery ? ’[2342-matt] Looking up , [I]2342-matt see [him]2342-matt stood watching [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt do n’t know how long [I]2342-matt was daydreaming . [I]2342-matt could watch [him]2342-matt forever . [He]2342-matt holds up a can of squirty cream , grinning , before taking the lid off , giving it a little shake and squirting some in [his]2342-matt mouth . [I]2342-matt watch [him]2342-matt carefully . [He]2342-matt looks very pleased with [himself]2342-matt . ‘ And that ’s a staple food in [your]3130-your world ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [He]2342-matt saunters back towards [me]2342-matt , shaking the can . ‘ Absolutely , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says seriously , replacing [himself]2342-matt between [my]2342-matt legs , nudging [my]2342-matt chin upwards with the tip of [his]2342-matt finger . ‘ Open . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt open [my]2342-matt mouth , and [he]2342-matt rests the funnel on [my]2342-matt tongue , watching [me]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt presses the notch , releasing a blob of cream into [my]2342-matt mouth . [I]2342-matt lick [my]2342-matt lips , the cream disintegrating in [my]2342-matt mouth instantly . [I]2342-matt place [my]2342-matt hands behind [me]2342-matt and lean back as [he]2342-matt runs [his]2342-matt eyes down [my]2342-matt front . ‘ Do [your]2342-matt worst , [Mr Ward]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt tease . [His]2342-matt eyes sparkle and [he]2342-matt grins that roguish grin . ‘ This might be a little cold . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt warns , as [he]2342-matt squirts a long trail straight down [my]2342-matt middle . [I]2342-matt inhale quickly at the initial shock of the freezing cold cream , running from the hollow of [my]2342-matt throat , all the way down to the juncture of [my]2342-matt thighs . [He]2342-matt smirks , squirting a little extra where it counts . [I]2342-matt look down at the long path of white puffs , feeling [my]2342-matt nipples pucker tighter at the chilliness close by . [He]2342-matt stands back , [his]2342-matt eyes dancing with delight . ‘ It ’s a bit if a cliché , is n’t it ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look at [his]2342-matt satisfied face . [He]2342-matt squirts some in [his]2342-matt own mouth . ‘ The old ones are the best . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt starts walking away again . Where ’s [he]2342-matt going ? [I]2342-matt sit on the breakfast bar coated in cream , watching as [he]2342-matt rifles through cupboards . ‘ Here it is . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt declares . Here ’s what ? [He]2342-matt opens a drawer , pulls out a spatula and walks back over , tapping a jar of chocolate spread mischievously . As [he]2342-matt arrives back between [my]2342-matt legs , [he]2342-matt unscrews the lid and tosses it on the marble counter . [I]2342-matt arch a brow at [him]2342-matt , questioningly , even though [I]2342-matt know damn well what [his]2342-matt intent is . [He]2342-matt twirls the spatula in the jar , scoops out a big dollop and abruptly slaps it onto [my]2342-matt breast . ‘ Ouch ! ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt boob stings from the smack . [He]2342-matt smirks as [he]2342-matt starts circling the chocolate around [my]2342-matt nipple , the sting mixed with the rhythmic swirls having [me]2342-matt purring deep in [my]2342-matt throat . [His]2342-matt frown line makes its appearance as [he]2342-matt begins to chew [his]2342-matt lip , working the chocolate spread all the way up [my]2342-matt body on both sides of the cream , swirling and smearing as [he]2342-matt goes . When the jar is completely empty and [he]2342-matt ’s satisfied [he]2342-matt covered every part or [my]2342-matt torso , [he]2342-matt puts [his]2342-matt instruments down and stands back to admire [his]2342-matt handiwork . The smile that spans [his]2342-matt handsome face makes [me]2342-matt want to dive on [him]2342-matt and tackle [him]2342-matt to the floor . [He]2342-matt looks thoroughly thrilled with [himself]2342-matt . ‘ [My]2342-matt very own [Ava]832-ava éclair . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt declares , licking [his]2342-matt lips . [I]2342-matt look down at [my]2342-matt coated body and back up to [his]2342-matt dancing eyes . ‘ [I]2342-matt guess , now [you]2342-matt ’ve had [your]2342-matt fun , [I]2342-matt should go take a shower . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt make to move and [he]2342-matt ’s on [me]2342-matt in a flash , grasping [me]2342-matt in [his]2342-matt arms as [I]2342-matt knew [he]2342-matt would be . [I]2342-matt ’m locked to [his]2342-matt chest , sliding all over [the place]308-the place . [I]2342-matt give a little shimmy on a laugh , just to rub it in . And not in a smug way . ‘[2342-matt] Sneak . ’ [he]2342-matt mutters , pulling away , the chocolate and cream stringing between [our]3132-our bodies . [He]2342-matt takes [my]2342-matt hands , gently pushing [me]2342-matt back until [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] flat on [my]2342-matt back and looking up at [him]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ve not even started with the fun part , [lady]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt grin . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] filthy . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Oh , [I]2342-matt love that grin . [You]1547-my wo n’t be filthy for long . ’ [He]2342-matt leans over [me]1547-my , rubbing [his]2342-matt erection against [my]1547-my core , scooping a trail of chocolate from [my]1547-my nipple with [his]2342-matt index finger and keeping [his]2342-matt eyes firmly on [mine]1547-my as [he]2342-matt slides it between [his]2342-matt lips and licks it off in the most spectacular fashion . ‘[1547-my] Hmmm , chocolate , cream and sweat . ’ [he]2342-matt says hoarsely . [I]1547-my shudder under [his]2342-matt piercing eyes , the light throb of [my]1547-my sex kicking in to high gear , as [I]1547-my writhe on the bar under [his]2342-matt intoxicating stare . [I]1547-my reach up to pull [him]2342-matt down onto [me]1547-my . [I]1547-my need contact . [He]2342-matt lets [me]1547-my take [him]2342-matt , dropping [his]2342-matt lips to [mine]1547-my and resting [his]2342-matt chest on [me]1547-my so [we]3133-we slip and slide all over again . The warmness of [his]2342-matt body all over [mine]1547-my catapults [me]1547-my straight to [Central Jesse Cloud Nine]46-central jesse cloud nine . [I]1547-my gently coax [his]2342-matt tongue from [his]2342-matt mouth with small butterfly flicks , smiling against [his]2342-matt lips as [he]2342-matt moans deep in [his]2342-matt throat . [His]2342-matt arm snakes under [my]1547-my lower back and tugs [me]1547-my up from the counter , supporting [me]1547-my as [he]2342-matt suspends [me]1547-my and claims [my]1547-my mouth . [My]1547-my arms remain around [his]2342-matt neck , working [my]1547-my fingers through [his]2342-matt hair as [he]2342-matt continues to ravish [me]1547-my , and [I]1547-my continue to writhe . Straying away from [my]1547-my lips , [he]2342-matt begins kissing [his]2342-matt way up [my]1547-my cheek to [my]1547-my ear , making a point of grinding [his]2342-matt ever loving hips against [me]1547-my , instigating the familiar heaviness to weigh down in [my]1547-my groin . [I]1547-my moan , long and low , as [my]1547-my fingers curl tightly in [his]2342-matt hair and [he]2342-matt bites [my]1547-my lobe , slowly dragging it through [his]2342-matt teeth . Oh hell , [I]1547-my ’m[1547-my] soaring on pleasure here . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt pant , arching [myself]2342-matt into [him]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt know . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt hums against [my]2342-matt ear . ‘ [You]2342-matt want [me]2342-matt to take care of it ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt cry . [He]2342-matt drops a tender kiss on the hollow of [my]2342-matt ear , easing [me]2342-matt down onto [my]2342-matt back . With [his]2342-matt upper body braced on one arm at the side of [me]2342-matt , [he]2342-matt gently brushes the hair from [my]2342-matt face . [I]2342-matt watch as [he]2342-matt studies [me]2342-matt thoughtfully , [his]2342-matt green pools swimming , the cogs of [his]2342-matt mind turning . ‘ Everything is so much more bearable with [you]2342-matt around , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says softly , [his]2342-matt eyes searching [mine]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt absorb [his]2342-matt words , completely stunned by [his]2342-matt confession . What ’s more bearable ? [I]2342-matt ca n’t cope with the vagueness of this statement , especially not now . There is more than meets the eye with [this man]2342-matt – not just confident and wealthy , possessive and gentle , controlling and dominate . [I]2342-matt could go on forever . But there ’s more . [I]2342-matt gaze up at [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt want to ask questions , but as [I]2342-matt draw breath to speak , [he]2342-matt drops [his]2342-matt head to [my]2342-matt breast , flicking [his]2342-matt tongue over [my]2342-matt already taut nipple , circling it and licking the chocolate away . [I]2342-matt buck when [his]2342-matt teeth clamp over [my]2342-matt tight bud , the sharp stab arching [my]2342-matt back and pushing [my]2342-matt breast up further , forcing [him]2342-matt to pull away slightly to accommodate [me]2342-matt . ‘ Feel good ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks . ‘ Yes ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]2342-matt want more of [my]2342-matt mouth ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Jesus]72-jesus , [Jesse]327-jesse ! ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt hums in satisfaction , spreading [his]2342-matt attention between [my]2342-matt breasts , lapping , nipping and sucking the chocolate , gradually and meticulously away . [I]2342-matt moan . [I]2342-matt ’m a sweating mess . [My]2342-matt fingers are clawed in [his]2342-matt hair as [I]2342-matt squirm under [his]2342-matt expert tongue . One touch of [my]2342-matt core and [I]2342-matt ’ll be propelled into a despairing stupor . ‘[2342-matt] All clean . ’ [he]2342-matt drawls as [he]2342-matt lifts [his]2342-matt body , [his]2342-matt eyes locking with [mine]2342-matt . ‘[1548-she] But [she]1548-she wants more of [my]2342-matt mouth . ’ [He]2342-matt licks [his]2342-matt lips and backs away from [me]832-ava , [my]832-ava stomach performing a full three sixty spin . Oh , [Christ]72-jesus . [I]832-ava wo n’t last a second . [He]2342-matt looms over [me]832-ava , looking straight down to the apex of [my]832-ava thighs . [He]2342-matt eases [his]2342-matt palms onto [my]832-ava thighs and slowly pulls them further apart . ‘[832-ava] Fuck , [Ava]832-ava . [You]832-ava ’re weeping . ’[1549-his] [He]1549-his breathes in deep , and [I]2342-matt see the rise and fall of [his]1549-his chest speed up . [He]1549-his flicks one last gaze up at [me]2342-matt before [his]1549-his head drifts down , slowly and provocatively . [I]2342-matt clamp [my]2342-matt eyes shut , tensing [my]2342-matt whole body , as [I]2342-matt wait for that first dash of contact . And there it is . One long sweep of [his]1549-his tongue , straight up the centre of [my]2342-matt core , with a little dance on [my]2342-matt clit to finish off . ‘ Oh … [God]68-god ! ’[1549-his] [I]2342-matt groan , and [I]2342-matt ’m rewarded with two fingers thrust straight in to maximum capacity . [I]2342-matt buck and writher involuntarily as [Jesse]327-jesse lays an arm across [my]2342-matt stomach to hold [me]2342-matt down . ‘[2342-matt] [You]1550-you want [me]2342-matt to stop ? ’ [he]1549-his asks . [His]1549-his voice is gravel , [my]2342-matt reaction violent . [He]1549-his swiftly returns to [my]2342-matt sex , plunging [his]1549-his fingers in deep while lightly stroking [my]2342-matt clitoris with [his]1549-his tongue . In seconds , [I]2342-matt feel the peak of an explosion on the horizon , and with one last casual sweep up the very centre of [my]2342-matt most sensitive place , [I]2342-matt burst apart under [him]1551-his . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] lost . [I]2342-matt thrash [my]2342-matt head from side to side , a rush of breath escaping [my]2342-matt burning lungs on a long peaceful sigh , as [my]2342-matt thumping heart works its way back down to a steady , safe rate . [He]1551-his laps gently , helping [me]2342-matt ride out the pulses of [my]2342-matt orgasm , letting [me]2342-matt drift delicately down as [I]2342-matt moan in pure satisfaction . [He]1551-his has the most incredible mouth . In [my]2342-matt subliminal state , [I]2342-matt feel [him]1551-his shift from between [my]2342-matt legs , reaching up to slip [his]1551-his fingers into [my]2342-matt mouth so [I]2342-matt can lap up the moisture of [my]2342-matt release . ‘ See how good [you]1551-his taste , [Ava]832-ava ? ’[1551-his] [he]1551-his hums , swirling [his]1551-his finger around [my]2342-matt mouth , then sliding them into [his]1551-his own , ensuring every last piece of [me]2342-matt is savoured by [his]1551-his tongue . [His]1551-his head drops and [he]1551-his hovers over [my]2342-matt face , looking into [my]2342-matt eyes before resting [his]1551-his lips gently on [mine]2342-matt , brushing from side to side . ‘ [You]1552-you ’re[1551-his] amazing . [I]2342-matt need to be inside [you]1552-you . ’ [He]1551-his shifts quickly , and in one measured movement , [he]1551-his yanks [me]2342-matt forward and impales [me]2342-matt on [his]1551-his waiting arousal . [I]2342-matt cry out at the shock invasion , [my]2342-matt abating climax resurrected . [Jesus]72-jesus ! ‘[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt turn , ’ [he]1551-his gasps , pulling out and firing forward again . [I]832-ava cry out , throwing [my]832-ava arms over [my]832-ava head as [he]1551-his clamps onto [my]832-ava thighs tightly , pulling [me]832-ava back and forth on the marble to match [his]1551-his momentum . [I]832-ava peel [my]832-ava eyes open and find [him]1551-his sweating , [his]1551-his jaw clenched . The remnants of the cream and chocolate has [me]832-ava sliding to meet [him]1551-his with ease , tingling sensations attacking [me]832-ava between [my]832-ava thighs , the delicious full drives of [his]1551-his powerful body set to blow [my]832-ava brain clean out of [my]832-ava head . Fucking hell ! ‘[832-ava] Does that feel good , [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [he]1551-his shouts over [my]832-ava cries . ‘[832-ava] God , yes ! ’ ‘[832-ava] [You]832-ava wo n’t run away from [me]2342-matt again , will [you]832-ava ? ’ ‘[832-ava] No ! ’ Never ! [I]1553-his ’m[1553-his] hauled up onto [his]1553-his body and swung around to meet the wall , [my]2342-matt back crashing against it , causing a shocked yell to burst from [my]2342-matt mouth . [I]2342-matt lied . [I]2342-matt ’m not use to [him]1553-his , at all . And [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not sure [I]2342-matt ever will be . [He]1553-his ’s so incredibly powerful , forceful and large . [I]2342-matt endure [his]1553-his determined , unrelenting pounds as [I]2342-matt ’m pushed up the wall on cry after cry . In [my]2342-matt desperation to control [my]2342-matt rolling orgasm , [I]2342-matt find [his]1553-his shoulder and latch on with [my]2342-matt mouth , sinking [my]2342-matt teeth into [his]1553-his flesh . ‘[2342-matt] Oh , FUCK ! ’ [he]1553-his roars . [I]72-jesus hear [his]1553-his forehead collide into the wall behind [me]72-jesus , [his]1553-his hips powering forward . That ’s it . [I]72-jesus release [his]1553-his shoulder , throw [my]72-jesus head back on a harsh cry and erupt into a splintering follow up orgasm . [He]1553-his stills suddenly , [his]1553-his breathing ragged and violent , and then [he]1553-his thunders forward one last , powerful time . ‘[72-jesus] [Jesus]72-jesus ! ’ [he]1553-his barks , jerking against [me]72-jesus , inside and out . [I]72-jesus ’m[72-jesus] convulsing in [his]72-jesus arms with [my]2342-matt own fitful breathing , trying to gulp down some valuable air into [my]2342-matt overworked lungs . Shock and awe . Wow ! [I]2342-matt clench [my]2342-matt arms and legs tighter around [him]72-jesus , close [my]2342-matt eyes and melt into [his]72-jesus body . [I]2342-matt ’m only dimly aware of being transported back to the kitchen island in [his]72-jesus arms , the movement causing [his]72-jesus semi - erection to stroke the wall of [my]1554-i uterus as [I]1554-i cling onto [him]72-jesus , revelling in [his]72-jesus heat . [I]1554-i lay back as [he]72-jesus lowers [me]1554-i , feeling the comfort of [his]72-jesus solid chest rest onto [mine]1554-i . Instinctively , [I]1554-i curl [my]1554-i arms around [his]72-jesus back as [he]72-jesus showers [my]1554-i face with tender kisses . Oh God , [I]1554-i feel so overwhelmed . [I]1554-i ’ve never felt so needed or wanted . [My]1554-i time with [Jesse]327-jesse , good and bad , strops and affection , has blasted any other feelings [I]1554-i ’ve had , well and truly , out of the water . [I]1554-i open [my]1554-i eyes , knowing [he]72-jesus ’s looking at [me]1554-i . ‘[1554-i] [You]1554-i and [me]2342-matt . ’ [he]72-jesus whispers , gazing down at [me]1554-i . [I]1554-i close [my]1554-i heavy lids and pull [his]72-jesus head down to bury [my]1554-i face in [his]72-jesus neck , completely losing [myself]1554-i in [him]72-jesus . ‘[1554-i] [We]1555-we need a shower . ’ [I]1554-i drag [my]1554-i eyes open . [I]1554-i ’m[1554-i] being lifted from the breakfast bar , [I]2342-matt ’m wrapped around [Jesse]327-jesse and [I]2342-matt have no intention of letting go . ‘[2342-matt] Let ’s stay . ’ [I]1554-i murmur dreamily . [I]1554-i ’m[1554-i] so tired . [He]1554-i chuckles . ‘ Just hold on . [I]1554-i ’ll do all the work . ’[1554-i] So [I]2342-matt do . [I]2342-matt hold on tight , [my]2342-matt legs wrapped around [his]1554-i waist , [my]2342-matt arms around [his]1554-i shoulders , as [he]1554-i carries [me]2342-matt through [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse , up [the stairs]272-the stairs and into [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom . ‘ Put [me]2342-matt in bed . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt gripe as [he]1554-i deposits [me]2342-matt on the vanity unit . ‘ [Your]832-ava sticky , [I]1554-i ’m[1554-i] sticky . Let [me]2342-matt wash [us]1559-us both , then [we]1559-us can get in bed and snuggle . Deal ? ’ [He]1554-i goes to turn the shower on . [I]2342-matt look up at [him]1554-i through sleepy eyes . ‘[2342-matt] No , put [me]2342-matt in bed . ’ [I]832-ava grumble . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [you]832-ava ’re adorable when [you]832-ava ’re[832-ava] sleepy . ’ [He]1554-i scoops [me]2342-matt up from [the unit]2926-the unit and carries [me]2342-matt into the shower . [I]2342-matt rest [my]2342-matt head in the crook of [his]2342-matt neck , making no attempt to free [myself]2342-matt from [his]2342-matt warm body . The water is blissful . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m going to put [you]832-ava down , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says . [I]2342-matt tighten [my]2342-matt grip around [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt laughs . ‘ [I]2342-matt ca n’t wash [you]832-ava down without any free hands . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt want to stay stuck to [you]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt sighs , leaning [his]2342-matt back against the tiled wall with [me]2342-matt still clutched to [him]2342-matt . Turning [his]2342-matt face into [mine]2342-matt , [he]2342-matt drops a tender kiss on [my]2342-matt forehead , humming against [my]2342-matt skin . [I]2342-matt acknowledge the contact through [my]2342-matt sleepy state by nuzzling [his]2342-matt neck , humming [my]2342-matt own little sigh of contentment . One arm releases [me]2342-matt , [his]2342-matt knee rising to meet [my]2342-matt backside , while [he]2342-matt leans over and grasps the shower gel from the shelf , dropping it to the floor before doing the same with the shampoo . [He]2342-matt lowers [his]2342-matt knee , slips [his]2342-matt arm back under [my]2342-matt bent legs and slowly slides down the wall , holding tightly onto [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt feel the firmness of the shower floor beneath [him]2342-matt as [we]1560-we come to rest on the floor . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt ’m restricting [him]2342-matt with [my]2342-matt arms clenched around [his]2342-matt neck , but [I]2342-matt do n’t move them , and [he]2342-matt does n’t complain . [He]2342-matt works around [me]2342-matt , holding [me]2342-matt with one arm , washing and rinsing [my]2342-matt hair with [his]2342-matt free hand as best as [I]2342-matt ’ll allow . [His]2342-matt task is unhurried as [he]2342-matt cleans away the leftovers of cream and chocolate from [my]2342-matt body , [his]2342-matt hand gliding over [me]2342-matt tenderly in slow , careful circles , wheedling [me]2342-matt into a slumber . [I]2342-matt keep [my]2342-matt hold of [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt do n’t want to ever let go . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt want to look after [you]1561-you forever . ’ [he]2342-matt whispers , pressing [his]2342-matt lips against [my]2342-matt temple . [I]2342-matt release a hand from [his]2342-matt neck , brushing down [his]2342-matt chest to [his]2342-matt abdominals , slowly circling [his]2342-matt belly button . ‘[2342-matt] Okay , ’ [I]2342-matt agree . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] more than happy with that . [I]2342-matt ca n’t think of anything more natural to [me]2342-matt – [I]2342-matt doubt [I]2342-matt ever will . [He]2342-matt lets out a long , tired breath . ‘ Come on , let ’s get [you]2342-matt out . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt pull [myself]2342-matt away from [him]2342-matt , struggling to [my]2342-matt feet . [I]2342-matt feel utterly shattered . [I]2342-matt put [my]2342-matt hand out and [he]2342-matt accepts it willingly , although [I]2342-matt ’m of no assistance in actually heaving [him]2342-matt to [his]2342-matt feet . [I]2342-matt notice the remnants of some chocolate on [his]2342-matt chest so [I]2342-matt dip and pick up the shower gel , squirting some in [my]2342-matt hands . [He]2342-matt watches [me]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt work up a lather in [my]2342-matt hands and place [my]2342-matt palms against [his]2342-matt chest , [his]2342-matt gaze fixed on [my]2342-matt hands while [they]3135-they work over [him]2342-matt , [his]2342-matt light dusting of hair stuck to the solid muscle beneath . When [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] done , [I]2342-matt lean in to drop a chaste kiss on the centre of [his]2342-matt chest . [I]2342-matt look up at [him]2342-matt and find [his]2342-matt eyes are squeezed shut , [his]2342-matt face turned up towards the ceiling . [I]2342-matt reach up and kiss [his]2342-matt throat to get [his]2342-matt attention , but a few seconds pass before [he]2342-matt brings [his]2342-matt face down to [mine]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt smile at [him]2342-matt , and [he]2342-matt offers a little one in return . It ’s not convincing , and it has [me]2342-matt wondering what ’s causing [his]2342-matt anguish . ‘ What ’s wrong ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask nervously . ‘ Nothing ’s wrong . Everything is right . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt cups [my]2342-matt cheeks in both of [his]2342-matt hands , giving [me]2342-matt a half smile , [his]2342-matt eyes running all over [my]2342-matt face before [he]2342-matt turns the shower off and steps out , wrapping a towel around [his]2342-matt narrow waist . [I]2342-matt walk out behind [him]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt ’m immediately engulfed in a soft bath sheet . [He]2342-matt rubs [me]1562-you from top to toe , working the excess water from [my]1562-you hair . ‘[1562-you] [You]1562-you want [me]2342-matt to carry [you]1562-you ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks . [I]1563-i actually do . How lazy of [me]1563-i . [I]1563-i nod and [he]2342-matt smiles approvingly , scooping [my]1563-i naked body up into [his]2342-matt arms and carrying [me]1563-i to the bed . [I]1563-i crawl under the sheets , inhaling deeply as [my]1563-i head rests on the pillow , the delicious waft of [Jesse]327-jesse swamping [my]1563-i senses . Oh , [I]1563-i ’ll sleep well here . [He]2342-matt drops [his]2342-matt towel . [I]1563-i open the covers in invitation and as soon as [he]2342-matt ’s close enough , [I]1563-i crawl into [his]2342-matt chest , burying [my]1563-i face under [his]2342-matt chin , [my]1563-i hot breath ricocheting off [his]2342-matt neck , back into [my]1563-i face . [I]1563-i draw [my]1563-i leg up , resting [my]1563-i upper leg between [his]2342-matt thighs . [I]1563-i ’m[1563-i] completely swathed in [him]1563-i , and it ’s the most soothing place in [the world]516-the world . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[1563-i] too comfy . ’ [I]2342-matt garble into [his]2342-matt throat . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt am ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt are . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Good . Go to sleep , [baby]65-ha . ’ [He]2342-matt drops a kiss on top of [my]65-ha head and squeezes [me]65-ha to [him]2342-matt . There is no space welcome between [us]3136-us . Chapter 26 [I]65-ha regain consciousness with [Jesse]327-jesse lying between [my]65-ha thighs , rubbing [his]327-jesse nose against [mine]65-ha . [I]65-ha force [my]65-ha eyes open . ‘[65-ha] Morning , [lady]65-ha . ’ [I]65-ha groan , extending [my]65-ha arms above [my]65-ha head in a long , satisfying stretch . Oh , [I]65-ha slept very well . As [I]65-ha settle back down , [I]65-ha feel [Jesse]327-jesse ’s morning hard on nuzzling between [my]65-ha thighs , a flicker of a smile playing at the sides of [his]327-jesse mouth . [I]65-ha wiggle under [him]327-jesse . ‘[65-ha] Morning , [yourself]65-ha , ’ In one swift movement , [he]327-jesse drives deep into [me]65-ha , and it ’s already a great day . [I]65-ha hold onto [his]327-jesse tight biceps as [he]327-jesse rests on [his]327-jesse forearms and works up into a firm , steady rhythm . [He]327-jesse opens [his]327-jesse eyes . ‘[65-ha] [I]2342-matt love sleepy sex with [you]65-ha . ’ [I]2342-matt stare into [his]327-jesse calm , peaceful face and let [him]327-jesse take [me]2342-matt to paradise , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] abruptly snapped out of [my]2342-matt dreamy state when [Jesse]327-jesse rolls [us]1566-us both over , keeping [us]1566-us connected , so [I]2342-matt ’m straddling [him]327-jesse . The sudden gravity sensitises [me]832-ava to [his]327-jesse invasion . ‘[832-ava] Ride [me]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [His]327-jesse voice is raspy , [his]327-jesse hunger filled eyes glistening in the morning light . [He]327-jesse grasps [my]2342-matt thighs , and [I]2342-matt plant [my]2342-matt palms on [his]327-jesse pecs . [I]2342-matt look down at [him]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m in charge ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt grins . ‘ Do [your]2342-matt worst , [baby]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt flicks [his]2342-matt hips up , prompting [me]2342-matt to instigate some movement . Right ! Staring [him]2342-matt squarely in [his]2342-matt sludgy , sleepy eyes , [I]2342-matt slowly and carefully rise from [his]2342-matt hips , bracing [myself]2342-matt up for a few seconds , teasing and watching [his]2342-matt face blaze for friction . Then slowly , [I]2342-matt lower [myself]2342-matt back down with equal precision , forcing [myself]2342-matt down , grinding as far as possible until [I]2342-matt feel [his]2342-matt arousal hit [my]2342-matt womb . It sends [him]2342-matt into a tailspin . [He]2342-matt throws [his]2342-matt head back , moaning so loud it echoes around [the bedroom]535-the bedroom . [I]2342-matt smile to [myself]2342-matt . This is [my]2342-matt opportunity to regain the power and [I]2342-matt ’m going to make the most of it . ‘[2342-matt] Again ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask confidently . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to love this . ‘ Fuck , yes ! ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt pants . ‘ Mind [your]2342-matt language , please . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt taunt [him]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt slowly rise again , falling with complete precision , grinding [myself]2342-matt against [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt repeat the tortuous move again and again , watching as [he]2342-matt crumbles beneath [me]2342-matt . [His]2342-matt hands shoot up to cup [my]2342-matt breasts , [his]2342-matt thumbs working small circles around [my]2342-matt tight nipples . [I]2342-matt rise again , pausing at [my]2342-matt peak . [His]2342-matt eyes are skipping , [his]2342-matt mouth parted . [I]2342-matt ’m struggling to keep control above [him]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Down ? ’ [I]2342-matt tease . ‘[2342-matt] Oh God , yes . ’ [I]2342-matt descend again , seeing [his]2342-matt face distort , clear evidence of [his]2342-matt suffering . [He]2342-matt wo n’t endure this for much longer . [I]2342-matt can see the strain carved in [his]2342-matt tense jaw and creased forehead . [He]2342-matt groans , holding [my]2342-matt breasts tighter , sending a sharp , shooting pain directly to [my]2342-matt core . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not going to be able to endure this for long . [I]2342-matt ’m on the crest of release , and [I]72-jesus need [him]2342-matt to be there when [I]72-jesus fall . [I]72-jesus lift [myself]72-jesus up , watching as [he]2342-matt expects [me]72-jesus to slowly lower [myself]72-jesus . [I]72-jesus do n’t . Instead , [I]72-jesus knock the wind right out of [him]2342-matt and crash down , completely impaling [myself]72-jesus on [him]2342-matt . [I]72-jesus grind down hard . ‘[72-jesus] [Jesus fucking Christ]72-jesus ! ’ [he]72-jesus roars , sweat instantly breaking out across [his]72-jesus brow . [I]72-jesus roll [my]72-jesus hips , ensuring optimum penetration , forcing [myself]72-jesus down onto [him]2342-matt . Yes , [you]2342-matt ’ll beg . ‘[72-jesus] Fuck , fuck , fuck . [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt ’m going to come ! ’[832-ava] ‘ Wait . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt demand . [His]2342-matt eyes snap open in shock , desperation filling [them]1568-them . [I]2342-matt roll again , watching as [he]2342-matt squeezes [his]2342-matt eyes shut , [his]2342-matt frown line the deepest [I]2342-matt ’ve ever seen it . This is taking everything out of [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt just need one more … ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt ca n’t . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt pleads . ‘ Shit ! Wait . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Watch [your]2342-matt mouth ! ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt yells , [his]2342-matt eyes still closed in concentration . It ’s killing [him]2342-matt . ‘ Fuck off , [Jesse]327-jesse ! ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt eyes fly back open in warning at [my]2342-matt crass words , but [I]2342-matt could n’t give a damn . [I]2342-matt clamp [my]2342-matt hands over [his]2342-matt and use [my]2342-matt leg muscles to lift [myself]2342-matt again , hovering above [him]2342-matt and crashing down so [he]2342-matt completely spears [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt lift again . ‘ Now ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt cry , smashing back down . [My]2342-matt body explodes , sending [me]2342-matt soaring right into orbit . [I]2342-matt ’m vaguely aware of [Jesse]327-jesse ’s strangled moans as [I]2342-matt feel hot moisture invade [me]2342-matt , warming [my]2342-matt entire being . [I]2342-matt collapse onto [his]327-jesse chest in an exhausted heap – job done . [I]2342-matt lay sprawled across [him]327-jesse , melting into the rhythm of [his]327-jesse fingers circling [my]2342-matt back , [his]327-jesse semi - erection drumming steadily inside [me]2342-matt . [Our]3137-our heartbeats are clashing together between [our]3137-our chests as [we]3137-our try to regulate [our]3137-our breathing . [We]3137-our ’re[2342-matt] both totally replete . ‘ [I]2342-matt love sleepy sex with [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt murmur . [He]2342-matt kisses the top of [my]2342-matt head . ‘ Except for [your]2342-matt filthy mouth . ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt voice is full of scorn . [I]2342-matt laugh and look up at [him]2342-matt , reaching to run [my]2342-matt fingers down [his]2342-matt stubbly cheek . [I]2342-matt love [his]2342-matt stubble . [He]2342-matt turns [his]2342-matt face into [my]2342-matt touch , kissing [my]2342-matt fingers and returning [my]2342-matt smile . ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t think [we]3138-we can call that sleepy sex , [baby]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] ‘ No ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ No . [We]3138-we ’ll think of a new name for [that one]1509-that one . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Okay . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt agree , completely contented . [I]2342-matt rest [my]2342-matt cheek back onto [his]2342-matt chest and trace small circles around [his]2342-matt golden nipple . ‘ How old are [you]2342-matt , [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Twenty nine , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scoff , but it occurs to [me]2342-matt , very suddenly , that [I]2342-matt wo n’t have a clue when [we]1569-we finally reach [his]2342-matt real age . [I]2342-matt ’m plumping for thirty four . That ’s eight years past [me]2342-matt – [I]2342-matt can live with that . [I]2342-matt sigh . ‘[2342-matt] What ’s the time ? ’ [I]2342-matt could do with another hour . [He]2342-matt shifts [me]2342-matt from [his]2342-matt chest . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt left [my]2342-matt watch [downstairs]2323-downstairs . [I]2342-matt ’ll go take a look . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]1571-you need a clock in here . ’ [I]2342-matt grumble as [he]2342-matt gets out of bed , leaving [me]2342-matt cold and bare without [him]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll put in a complaint to [the designer]1572-the designer . ’ [he]2342-matt replies dryly . [I]2342-matt ignore [him]2342-matt , turning over to snuggle down , making do with the pillow . This bed is the most comfortable [I]2342-matt ’ve ever slept in . [I]2342-matt did well here . ‘[2342-matt] Seven thirty . ’ [I]2342-matt hear [him]2342-matt shout from [downstairs]2323-downstairs . [I]2342-matt bolt upright in bed . ‘[2342-matt] Shit ! ’ [I]2342-matt jump out and race [downstairs]2323-downstairs to [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . ‘[2342-matt] [You]1571-you ’ll have to drop [me]2342-matt at [home]281-home . ’ [He]2342-matt sits , dead cool and casual on the bar stool , completely bare arsed naked , scooping peanut butter from a jar with [his]2342-matt finger . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m a bit busy this morning . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says without looking at [me]2342-matt . Oh , the irritating pig ! This is , without a doubt , a ploy to keep [me]2342-matt [here]314-here . After all , [he]2342-matt did say [I]2342-matt would n’t be walking , and [I]2342-matt am . [I]2342-matt ’ll get the tube , it ’s no bother . [I]2342-matt scan the floor where [I]2342-matt dropped [my]2342-matt clothes – no clothes . ‘ Where are [my]2342-matt clothes , [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt sticks [his]2342-matt peanut butter covered finger into [his]2342-matt mouth , sucking it off and pulling it slowly from [his]2342-matt mouth on a little pop . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ve no idea . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says , completely straight faced and unaffected . Where has [he]2342-matt hid them , the little shit ? [They]1575-they ca n’t be far . [I]2342-matt stalk around [[his]2342-matt apartment]1576-his apartment , huffing and puffing , pulling open cupboard doors and looking behind furniture . [I]2342-matt march back into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , finding [him]2342-matt still sitting there , looking infuriatingly naked and handsome , and completely unaffected by [my]2342-matt frenzy . Oh , [I]2342-matt ’ve not got time for this . [I]2342-matt ca n’t be late for work . ‘ Where are [my]2342-matt fucking clothes ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout . ‘ Watch [your]2342-matt fucking mouth ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head at [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt ’ll have a bar of soap in [my]2342-matt mouth next . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse , [I]2342-matt never swore out loud before [I]2342-matt met [you]2342-matt … funny , huh ? [I]2342-matt need to get [home]281-home so [I]2342-matt can get ready for work . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt know [you]2342-matt do . ’[2342-matt] And in goes another peanut butter covered finger . ‘ So , where are [my]2342-matt clothes ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt try calm , but if [he]2342-matt does n’t give [me]2342-matt [my]2342-matt clothes now , [I]2342-matt ’ll soon revert back to [mad woman]1578-mad woman . [I]2342-matt ca n’t be late . ‘ [They]3143-they are … somewhere . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt grins around [his]2342-matt finger . ‘ Where is somewhere ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask , while thinking about how much [I]2342-matt dislike [roguish Jesse]327-jesse today . ‘ If [I]1578-mad woman tell [you]327-jesse , [you]327-jesse have to give [me]1578-mad woman something in return . ’[1578-mad woman] [I]2342-matt feel [mad woman]1578-mad woman coming on ! ‘ What ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt yell . ‘ Do n’t drink tomorrow night . ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt face is deadpan . [I]2342-matt scowl at [him]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt watch [him]2342-matt fighting to control a smirk from breaking out . [The conniving pig]1579-the conniving pig ! [He]2342-matt ’s got [me]2342-matt cornered , naked , late for work and in need of a lift . [I]2342-matt stand , pondering [his]2342-matt trade . If [I]2342-matt ’m honest , [I]2342-matt was n’t planning on getting particularly drunk , especially after [my]2342-matt performance on Saturday . [I]2342-matt ’ve not even asked [Kate]2557-kate if [she]2557-kate ’s free yet , but [I]2342-matt do n’t want [Mr Control Freak]327-jesse thinking [he]327-jesse can dictate [my]2342-matt every move . Give [him]327-jesse an inch and all that . ‘[2342-matt] Fine ! ’ How will [he]327-jesse know if [I]2342-matt have a drink , anyway ? [He]327-jesse looks shocked . ‘[2342-matt] That was easier than [I]2342-matt thought . What about lunch later ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Okay , get [my]2342-matt clothes ! ’ ‘[832-ava] Who holds the power , [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [he]327-jesse asks . [I]832-ava do n’t have time to challenge [him]327-jesse on that . ‘[832-ava] [You]65-ha do , get [my]2342-matt clothes ! ’ ‘[65-ha] Correct . ’ [He]327-jesse struts over to the fridge – with a little extra swagger for [my]65-ha benefit – and opens the door . ‘[65-ha] Here [you]65-ha are , [lady]65-ha . ’ [They]65-ha were in the fridge ? Well , [I]65-ha would never have looked in there . [I]65-ha snatch them from [his]1581-he hand , and [he]1581-he raises a warning brow at [me]65-ha . [I]65-ha do n’t care . [I]65-ha ’m[65-ha] going to be so late . [He]1581-he watches [me]2342-matt frantically yank [my]2342-matt capri pants on and laughs as [I]2342-matt hop around gasping when the freezing cold material rests on [my]2342-matt skin . ‘ Have [I]1581-he got time for a shower ? ’[1581-he] [he]1581-he asks seriously . ‘ NO ! ’[1581-he] [He]1581-he laughs , slaps [my]2342-matt bum and saunters out of [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . [Jesse]327-jesse drives [me]2342-matt [home]281-home in [his]1581-he usual driving style – frighteningly fast and ever impatient , but today [I]2342-matt ’m grateful . [He]1581-he waits for [me]2342-matt in [the car]548-the car , making a few calls , while [I]2342-matt shower and get ready in record time . [I]2342-matt shove on some black , fitted ankle grazers , a white shirt and [my]2342-matt red Dune ballet pumps . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] dressed for speed today . [My]2342-matt hair is having a strop for not being blow dried last night , so [I]2342-matt pin it into a messy up do . [I]2342-matt ’ll put [my]2342-matt make - up on in [the car]548-the car . As [I]2342-matt rush across the landing , [I]2342-matt collide with [a half - naked Sam]1585-a half - naked sam . Has [he]1585-a half - naked sam moved in ? Put some clothes on ! ‘ [You]1585-a half - naked sam ’re[1586-chick] always in a rush , [chick]1586-chick . ’ [He]1585-a half - naked sam laughs . [I]1586-chick side step [him]1585-a half - naked sam , darting into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen to get a glass of water and swallow [my]1586-chick pill . ‘[1586-chick] Good night ? ’ [I]2557-kate nod over [my]2557-kate glass as [he]1585-a half - naked sam stands , bold as brass in the kitchen doorway , looking all roughed up . [I]2557-kate wo n’t ask if [he]1585-a half - naked sam ’s had a good night . That much is obvious . ‘[2557-kate] Where ’s [Kate]2557-kate ? ’ [I]2557-kate ask . [He]1585-a half - naked sam grins . ‘[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt ’ve tied [her]2557-kate to the bed . ’ [My]2557-kate eyes widen . [I]2557-kate have no idea if [he]1585-a half - naked sam ’s serious or not . [He]1585-a half - naked sam ’s such [a joker]3145-a joker . ‘[2557-kate] Tell [her]2557-kate [I]2342-matt ’ll call [her]2557-kate later . ’ [I]1587-i wait for [Sam]1914-sam to budge and let [me]1587-i out . ‘[1587-i] See [ya]1587-i . ’ [I]1587-i call , running down [the stairs]272-the stairs . ‘[1587-i] Hey , tell [Jesse]327-jesse [I]2342-matt ’m not running today . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse shouts after [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt run down [the path]2482-the road and onto [the street]945-the street , where [Jesse]327-jesse is illegally parked and flipping off a traffic warden from [[his]327-jesse driver]1590-his driver ’s seat . [I]2342-matt wait for [the warden]1591-the warden to finish lecturing [Jesse]327-jesse , but [he]327-jesse seems to be on a roll . ‘ Move so [the lady]3147-the lady can get in [the car]548-the car . ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse growls . [The warden]1591-the warden ignores [him]1591-the warden , launching into a speech on verbal abuse and lack of consideration for [other road users]1592-other road users . ‘ Excuse [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt prompt , trying for polite as appose to [Jesse]327-jesse ’s aggressiveness . [I]2342-matt get ignored . Damn , [I]2342-matt ’m going to be super late . ‘[2342-matt] For fucks sake ! ’ [Jesse]327-jesse swings [his]327-jesse door open and strides around [the car]548-the car to meet [the warden]1591-the warden on [the pavement]2745-the pavement . [The poor man]327-jesse visibly shrinks at [Jesse]327-jesse ’s presence , moving away hastily . [He]327-jesse opens the door , deposits [me]1593-me in [the car]548-the car before slamming it , cussing some more and sliding back behind the wheel . [We]1593-me roar off down [[my]1593-me street]3150-my street , way too fast . ‘[1593-me] [They]1593-me ’re just doing a job , [you]2342-matt know . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt flip the mirror down to sort [my]2342-matt make - up out . ‘ Power hungry failures that did n’t make [cops]3151-cops , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt grumbles . [He]2342-matt looks at [me]2342-matt and smiles . ‘ [You]2342-matt look lovely . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt snort . ‘ Watch [the road]2482-the road . Oh , [Sam]1914-sam said [he]2342-matt ca n’t make [your]2342-matt run . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Lazy bastard]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt ’s still there then ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks , overtaking [a taxi]452-a taxi . [I]2342-matt grab the side of [my]2342-matt seat . [My]2342-matt make - up is going to be everywhere . ‘ [He]2342-matt ’s got [Kate]2557-kate tied to the bed . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mumble , flicking [my]2342-matt lashes with [my]2342-matt mascara wand . ‘ Probably , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt swing [my]2342-matt head around with [my]2342-matt wand half way to [my]2342-matt eyes . ‘ [You]2342-matt do n’t sound shocked . ’[2342-matt] ‘ That ’s because [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not . ’ [He]2342-matt looks at [me]2342-matt out the corner of [his]2342-matt eye . [He]2342-matt ’s not ? So , [Sam]1914-sam ’s into kinky shit ? ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t want to know . ’ [I]2342-matt mutter , returning to the mirror . ‘[2342-matt] No , [you]2342-matt do n’t . ’ [he]2342-matt says quietly . [We]3153-we pull up near [[my]2342-matt offices]3154-my offices , but far enough away so [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not spotted getting out of [Jesse ’s Aston Martin]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m still trying to figure out how [Patrick]327-jesse might react to all of this . [Jesse]327-jesse has n’t mentioned the extension since Sunday , and [I]2342-matt ca n’t imagine a pleasant reaction from [[my]2342-matt boss]745-my boss if [I]2342-matt tell [him]745-my boss that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not designing for [Mr Ward]327-jesse , [I]2342-matt ’m fucking [him]745-my boss instead . ‘[2342-matt] What time ’s [your]2342-matt lunch ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks . [He]2342-matt strokes [my]2342-matt thigh , generating the familiar stabs of pleasure . Now is not the time to get horny , and that touch does it for [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] One , ’ [I]2342-matt squeak . [He]2342-matt rubs circles on [my]2342-matt thigh . [I]2342-matt stiffen slightly . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll be here at one then . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Right here ? ’ [I]2342-matt breathe . ‘[2342-matt] Yes , right here . ’ [His]2342-matt hand drifts between [my]327-jesse thighs . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , stop . ’ [I]327-jesse close [my]327-jesse eyes , trying to fight off the sparks of pleasure . [He]2342-matt runs [his]2342-matt hand up [my]327-jesse centre , over [my]327-jesse trousers . [I]327-jesse whimper . ‘[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt ca n’t keep [my]2342-matt hands off [you]327-jesse , ’ [he]2342-matt says in that low hypnotising voice – the one that knocks all sense and reason out of [me]327-jesse . ‘[327-jesse] And [you]327-jesse ’re not going to stop [me]2342-matt , are [you]327-jesse ? ’[2342-matt] No , damn [me]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt ’m not ! Leaning over , [he]2342-matt wraps [his]2342-matt hand around the back of [my]2342-matt neck and pulls [me]2342-matt towards [him]2342-matt , increasing the strokes of [my]2342-matt core . When [his]2342-matt lips find [my]2342-matt mouth , [I]2342-matt moan . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] being worked up into a blissful rhythm as [he]1595-his caresses [my]2342-matt tongue with [his]1595-his , slowly and surely , guaranteeing optimum pleasure . [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [I]2342-matt ’m letting [him]1595-his do this in [[his]1595-his car]2476-his car in broad daylight , but [he]1595-his ’s triggered something now , and [I]2342-matt ca n’t walk into [that office]3157-that office with the ache of an abandoned orgasm lurking inside [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt need relief , or [I]2342-matt wo n’t concentrate all day . Coils of craving spread out and build up , [my]2342-matt concern at the possibility of being captured indecently disappear , just like that . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] all over [him]1595-his . [He]1595-his just does it for [me]2342-matt in so many earth shattering ways . ‘ Let it go , [Ava]832-ava . ’[1595-his] [he]1595-his says into [my]2342-matt mouth . ‘ [I]1595-his want [you]832-ava in [that office]3157-that office thinking of what [I]1595-his can do to [you]832-ava . ’[1595-his] [I]2342-matt hit [my]2342-matt climax , crying out as [he]1595-his presses [his]1595-his lips harder on [mine]2342-matt , stifling [my]2342-matt moans and alleviating the pressure of [his]1595-his hand to slowly work [me]2342-matt down again . [I]2342-matt sigh against [his]1595-his lips . ‘ Better ? ’[1595-his] [he]1595-his asks as [he]1595-his pecks light kisses over [my]2342-matt mouth . Oh yes , much better . The irritating , roguish and pouting [Jesse]327-jesse of an hour ago has faded away completely . ‘ [I]2342-matt can work in peace . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt sigh . [He]1595-his laughs and releases [me]2342-matt . ‘ Well , [I]1595-his ’m[1595-his] going [home]281-home to think of [you]1597-you and sort this out . ’ [He]1595-his cups [himself]1595-his where [his]1595-his running shorts are tenting . [I]2342-matt smile , leaning into [him]1595-his , kissing [him]1595-his chastely on the lips . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt could do that for [you]1597-you . ’ [I]832-ava offer , reaching down and grazing [my]832-ava palm over [his]1595-his arousal . [His]1595-his eyes widen , sparkling with pleasure as [I]832-ava reach into [his]1595-his shorts and release [his]1595-his throbbing length , squeezing the base and drawing a couple of lazy strokes . [His]1595-his head falls back against the head rest . ‘[832-ava] Oh , fuck , [Ava]832-ava . That feels so good . ’ It does feel good , but in [my]832-ava mouth it would feel better . What has got into [me]832-ava ? [I]832-ava continue with a few more controlled strokes , the tip glistening as [he]1595-his shifts and moans in [his]1595-his seat . [He]1595-his must be close . [I]832-ava lower [my]832-ava head into [his]1595-his lap and flick [my]832-ava tongue across the pulsing head of [his]1595-his glorious cock , tracing slow circles on [his]1595-his wet tip . [His]1595-his hips buck and [he]1595-his grabs the steering wheel . How long will [he]1595-his last ? [He]1595-his moans deep , long and low . [He]1595-his ’s definitely close . [Lazily]211-lazily , [I]832-ava slide [my]832-ava wet tongue down [his]1595-his shaft , causing [him]1595-his to buck some more before [I]832-ava wrap [my]832-ava lips around [his]1595-his head and slowly take it all the way to the back of [my]832-ava throat . [He]1595-his gasps . ‘[832-ava] That ’s it , [baby]832-ava . Take it all the way . ’ [I]832-ava pause , feeling the throb beating against [my]832-ava tongue , and on a slow exhale , [I]832-ava work slowly back to the top . [He]1595-his sighs in pure gratification . ‘[832-ava] Keep going , just like that . ’ [He]1595-his encourages [me]832-ava , running [his]1595-his hand over the back of [my]832-ava neck . [I]832-ava grin around [him]1595-his , releasing [his]1595-his erection from [my]832-ava mouth , letting it spring against [his]1595-his tight stomach . [His]1595-his eyes widen as [I]832-ava straighten up in [my]832-ava seat and wipe [my]832-ava mouth . ‘[832-ava] [I]2342-matt ’d love to , but [you]832-ava already made [me]2342-matt late for work . ’ [I]832-ava jump out of [the car]2476-his car , yelping when [he]1595-his makes a grab for [me]832-ava . ‘[832-ava] What the fuck ? [Ava]832-ava ! ’ [I]832-ava cross [the road]2482-the road quickly , suddenly considering the possibility of [him]1595-his chasing [me]832-ava and tossing [me]832-ava over [his]1595-his shoulder . Would [he]1595-his ? [I]832-ava turn around when [I]832-ava reach [the pavement]2745-the pavement , seeing [him]1595-his stood by [[his]1595-his car]2476-his car rubbing [his]1595-his groin , a dark smile on [his]1595-his face . [I]832-ava feel untold relief . ‘[832-ava] How old are [you]832-ava , [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’ [I]327-jesse shout across [the road]2482-the road . ‘[327-jesse] Thirty . That was n’t very nice , [you]832-ava little temptress . ’ [I]832-ava blow [him]1595-his a kiss and courtesy sweetly , watching as [he]1595-his puts [his]1595-his hand out to catch it , that dark smile ever present . [I]832-ava can see those cogs flying around from here . [I]832-ava turn on [my]832-ava heels and sashay off down [the road]2482-the road , feeling rather pleased with [myself]832-ava – for now , anyway . After all , [he]1595-his holds the power . Chapter 27 ‘[832-ava] Meeting at twelve , ’ [Victoria]54-victoria calls as [she]54-victoria totters out of [[Patrick]327-jesse ’s office]279-the office . [I]54-victoria start sifting through [[my]54-victoria current clients]3163-my current clients , making notes on current statuses . [Our]3164-our fortnightly progress meetings are a relaxed affair to keep [Patrick]327-jesse abreast on current projects and to advise [Sally]54-victoria of any paperwork that needs to be completed . It ’s also an hour of scoffing cream cakes and drinking tea continuously . [I]54-victoria must go for a run tonight . ‘[54-victoria] [Sally]54-victoria ? ’ [I]54-victoria call down [the office]279-the office . [She]54-victoria looks up from [her]54-victoria computer screen , acknowledging [me]54-victoria by removing [her]54-victoria glasses . ‘[54-victoria] Can [I]2342-matt have a list of payment statuses on [clients]424-clients , please ? ’ ‘[832-ava] Of course , [Ava]832-ava . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Oh , and [me]2342-matt , ’ [Victoria]54-victoria shouts . [Sally]54-victoria looks at [Tom]60-tom , who nods too . It ’s rare to have to chase payment , but highly embarrassing when [you]832-ava do . [Patrick]327-jesse ’s [a stickler]3165-a stickler for payment deadlines . [I]2342-matt get lost in [my]2342-matt work for a few hours , chasing orders and replying to emails . At twelve , [Sally]54-victoria places a box on [my]2342-matt desk . ‘[2342-matt] This came for [you]832-ava . ’ Oh ? [I]2342-matt did n’t hear the door . ‘[2342-matt] Thanks , [Sal]54-victoria . ’ [I]54-victoria look down at the white box . Of course , [I]54-victoria know who it ’s from . [I]54-victoria open the box , secretly excited , while glancing around [the office]290-the office to make sure no attention is aimed in [my]54-victoria direction . Inside is a chocolate éclair . [I]54-victoria laugh out loud , and [Tom]60-tom ’s head whips up from [his]60-tom desk . [I]54-victoria wave [my]54-victoria hand in a dismissive gesture . [He]60-tom rolls [his]60-tom eyes , returning to [his]60-tom sketching . [I]54-victoria grab the note and open it . Revenge is sweet . Jx [I]54-victoria smile , pick up the éclair and sink [my]54-victoria teeth in as [I]54-victoria grab [my]54-victoria folder and head for [[Patrick]327-jesse ’s office]290-the office . [Sally]54-victoria follows behind with a tray full of tea and cakes . ‘[54-victoria] Wait for [us]1600-us ! ’ [Tom]60-tom whines , watching [me]2342-matt pop the last piece of éclair into [my]2342-matt mouth . [He]60-tom gives [me]2342-matt a disgusted look as [I]2342-matt wipe a lump of cream from the corner of [my]2342-matt mouth . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt want one of them , [Sal]54-victoria . ’ [He]60-tom diverts [his]60-tom attention to the tray that [Sally]54-victoria has placed on [Patrick]327-jesse ’s desk . [Sally]54-victoria flicks a glance in [my]54-victoria direction , frowning . ‘[54-victoria] [I]2342-matt got vanilla slices . ’ ‘[54-victoria] Do n’t offer [me]2342-matt any ! ’ [Victoria]54-victoria barks , settling in one of the four tub chairs arranged around [Patrick]327-jesse ’s huge , mahogany desk . ‘[54-victoria] Do n’t tell [me]2342-matt [you]54-victoria ’re dieting again ? ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse grumbles . ‘ Yes , but [this one]410-this one ’s working . ’[54-victoria] [she]54-victoria declares happily . Honestly , [the girl]54-victoria is waif to the point of disappearing and on a different diet every week . [I]2342-matt take a seat next to [her]54-victoria , and [Tom]60-tom joins [us]1601-us as [Sally]54-victoria hands out a spread sheet of clients invoice statuses before pouring the tea and settling down . [I]2342-matt scan the list of invoices – all marked “ Paid ” or “ Not due ” and run [my]2342-matt finger across the page when [I]2342-matt come across the highlighted “ Overdue ” section . There ’s [one client in the column]1602-one client in the column – just one . What ? [I]2342-matt inwardly cringe . Any hope [I]2342-matt had of evading any reference to [The Manor]2356-the manor and [Mr Ward]327-jesse has just been spectacularly dashed . [The idiot]327-jesse has n’t paid [his]327-jesse initial consultation fee . What ’s [he]327-jesse thinking ? [I]2342-matt glance up , seeing [Patrick]327-jesse running through the same list as [me]2342-matt , along with [Victoria]54-victoria and [Tom]60-tom , who both look up at [me]2342-matt in unison with the same expression . It ’s an , oh dear look . [I]2342-matt sag in [my]2342-matt chair , waiting for it . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [you]832-ava need to contact [Mr Ward]327-jesse and give [him]327-jesse a nudge . What ’s the current position ? ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse asks . Oh .... dear . [I]2342-matt ’ve completed [no client]1604-no client forms – apart from the initial briefing sheet – [I]2342-matt ’ve sent no quotations , [I]2342-matt ’ve not established [my]2342-matt role in the project , whether it be to design or design and manage . [I]2342-matt ’ve done nothing . Well , [I]2342-matt have , but nothing [you]1605-you can class as work related . [I]2342-matt ’ve not even submitted an invoice request for the second so called meeting that had [me]2342-matt running away without [my]2342-matt bra . That ’s a point … where is that bra ? Oh , [I]2342-matt ’ve spent a few hours sketching a design , sat on [my]2342-matt arse in the extension on a Sunday , but [I]2342-matt can hardly put a bill in for that . [I]2342-matt do n’t work on Sundays , and [Patrick]327-jesse only has to look at [my]2342-matt diary to see no appointment with [Mr Ward]327-jesse . The only things [I]2342-matt ’ve established , concerning [Mr Ward]327-jesse , are not of a professional capacity . Oh , fucking hell . [I]2342-matt clear [my]2342-matt throat . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] compiling the consultation breakdown and quotation as [we]1606-we speak . ’ [He]327-jesse looks up at [me]2342-matt , frowning in disapproval . ‘[2342-matt] [Your]1607-your first meeting was nearly two weeks ago and [you]1607-your ’ve had a second since . What ’s taking so long , [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [I]327-jesse break into a cold sweat . A list of [my]327-jesse fee structure is a simple task to complete , according to individual contracts , and usually done before the second meeting . [I]327-jesse have absolutely no excuse . [I]327-jesse can feel [Tom]60-tom and [Victoria]54-victoria staring at [me]327-jesse . ‘[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse ’s been away . ’ [I]327-jesse blurt . ‘[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse asked [me]2342-matt to hold off with any correspondence . ’ ‘[327-jesse] When [I]2342-matt spoke to [him]327-jesse last Monday , [he]327-jesse was very keen to get cracking . ’ [Patrick]327-jesse counters as [he]327-jesse checks [his]327-jesse diary . Damn [him]327-jesse for making notes on everything ! [I]327-jesse shrug . ‘[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt think it was a last minute business thing . [I]2342-matt ’ll give [him]327-jesse a call . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]1608-you do that . And [I]2342-matt do n’t want [you]1608-you spending any more time on it until [he]327-jesse ’s coughed up . Now , what ’s the current status with [Mr Van Der Haus]117-mr van der haus ? ’ [I]327-jesse exhale in relief , launching into an enthusiastic update on [The Life Building]2829-the life building , glad to be off the subject of [The Lord of [the Manor]2356-the manor]3169-the lord of the manor . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] going to kill [him]327-jesse ! [I]2342-matt walk out of [[Patrick]327-jesse ’s office]279-the office and [Tom]60-tom nudges [my]2342-matt shoulder , giggling as [he]60-tom passes . ‘ Do n’t ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt warn . ‘ That could have been worse , [Ava]832-ava . ’[54-victoria] [Victoria]54-victoria comments . [She]54-victoria ’s right . It could have been a disaster . [I]2342-matt leave [the office]279-the office and walk down [the street]945-the street to where [Jesse]327-jesse dropped [me]2342-matt off this morning . As [I]2342-matt approach [Berkeley Square]47-berkeley square , [I]2342-matt ’m scared half out of [my]2342-matt skin by some prat on a motorbike screeching past [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt compose [my]2342-matt racing heart and carry on , coming to a stop and leaning against a wall . [I]2342-matt pull [my]2342-matt phone out of [my]2342-matt bag to check [my]2342-matt messages . There are two from [Kate]2557-kate . [I]2342-matt need some help . Can [u]3171-u pop [home]281-home & untie [me]2342-matt plz ? [I]2342-matt gape at [my]2342-matt phone , quickly looking at the message details and noting it was sent at eleven . Is [she]2557-kate still there ? [I]2342-matt open the next . Do n’t panic ! [Sam]1914-sam ’s being a knob . [I]2342-matt would love 2 c [your]3173-your face . Xxx Oh yes , [Sam]1914-sam [the comedian]1914-sam . But a small part of [me]2342-matt wonders if there ’s an element of truth in [his]1914-sam joke . [Jesse]327-jesse was n’t at all surprised when [I]2342-matt mentioned it to [him]1611-he . Fun , [Kate]2557-kate said . Hmmm . [I]2342-matt bet . [I]2342-matt look at the time . It ’s five past one . Okay , [he]1611-he ’s late and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] offended . How long should [I]2342-matt wait ? [I]2342-matt ponder how desperate [I]2342-matt am by standing here and glance up to be confronted with the handsome face [I]2342-matt love so much . [He]1611-he ’s straddling the screeching motorbike that [I]2342-matt want to smash into a million pieces . [I]2342-matt feel [my]2342-matt lips curve into a semi grin as [I]2342-matt push [myself]2342-matt away from the wall and walk over to [him]1611-he . [He]1611-he ’s just beyond sexy on [that death trap]1612-that death trap . ‘ Good afternoon , [lady]65-ha . ’[1611-he] [He]1611-he sits on [the bike]1613-the bike with [his]1611-he helmet resting between [his]1611-he thighs , wearing no leather , just jeans and a white t - shirt . [I]2342-matt ca n’t help but think how irresponsible it is . [He]1611-he looks delicious , though . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[1611-he] a menace . ’ [I]2342-matt scorn , coming to a stop in front of [him]1611-he . ‘[2342-matt] Did [I]2342-matt scare [you]2342-matt ? ’ [He]1611-he secures [his]1611-he helmet on the handle bars of [his]1611-he bike . ‘[2342-matt] Yes . That thing needs a noise risk assessment . ’ [I]2342-matt complain . ‘[2342-matt] This thing is a Ducati 1098 . Watch [your]2342-matt mouth . ’ [He]1611-he slips [his]1611-he arms around [my]2342-matt waist and yanks [me]2342-matt onto [his]1611-he lap . ‘[2342-matt] Kiss [me]2342-matt . ’ [he]1611-he breathes . [He]1611-he claims [my]2342-matt lips , making a dramatic display of possessing [my]2342-matt mouth for all to see . [I]2342-matt hear [jeers]3175-jeers and taunts from passersby , but [I]2342-matt do n’t care . [I]2342-matt wrap [my]2342-matt arms around [his]1611-he neck and let [him]1611-he have [me]2342-matt . It ’s only been a few hours , but [I]2342-matt ’ve missed [him]1611-he . Suddenly , it occurs to [me]2342-matt that [we]3176-we ’re[2342-matt] a hundred yards from [[my]2342-matt office]1011-my office and [Patrick]327-jesse could breeze out at any moment . If [he]327-jesse sees [me]2342-matt cavorting with [Mr Ward]327-jesse , [he]327-jesse ’ll jump to the obvious conclusion : [I]2342-matt ’m giving special treatment at the expense of [his]327-jesse profitability . After that meeting , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] already skating on wafer thin ice . [I]2342-matt wriggle to free [myself]2342-matt , but [he]327-jesse just increases [his]327-jesse hold on [me]2342-matt , pressing [his]327-jesse lips harder to [mine]2342-matt . [My]2342-matt attempted escape becomes fraught and desperate the tighter [he]327-jesse holds [me]2342-matt . Placing [my]2342-matt hands into [his]327-jesse chest , [I]2342-matt push against [him]327-jesse , and [he]327-jesse eventually frees [my]2342-matt lips , but not [my]2342-matt body . [He]327-jesse narrows fierce eyes . ‘ What do [you]1616-you think [you]1616-you ’re[327-jesse] doing ? ’ ‘[327-jesse] Let [me]2342-matt go . ’ [I]327-jesse strain against [him]327-jesse . ‘[327-jesse] Hey . Let ’s get one thing straight , [lady]65-ha . [You]1616-you do n’t dictate when and where [I]2342-matt kiss [you]1616-you , or for how long . ’ [He]327-jesse ’s deadly serious . Self - assured control freak ! [I]65-ha use all [my]65-ha strength to free [myself]65-ha , failing miserably . [I]65-ha ’m[65-ha] out of breath . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse , if [Patrick]327-jesse sees [me]65-ha with [you]327-jesse , [I]65-ha ’m[65-ha] in all kinds of shit . Let [me]2342-matt go ! ’ To [my]2342-matt utter shock , [he]1617-he releases [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt scramble onto [the pavement]2745-the pavement to straighten [myself]2342-matt out . When [I]2342-matt look up , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] met with the filthiest scowl [I]2342-matt ’ve ever encountered . [He]1617-he ’s proper glaring at [me]2342-matt . It makes [me]2342-matt mad . And what ’s all that about kisses where ever , however and for as long as [he]1617-he pleases ? That ’s taking [his]1617-he controlling tendencies to a whole new level . ‘ What the fuck are [you]1618-you talking about ? ’[1617-he] [he]1617-he shouts . ‘ And watch [your]1618-you mouth ! ’[1617-he] ‘ [You]1618-you , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt start accusingly , ‘ have not paid [your]1618-you bill , and now [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] supposed to be giving [you]1618-you a polite reminder . [I]2342-matt was forced to give some spiel about [you]1618-you being away . ’ Could a full on kiss be considered a polite reminder ? [Jesse]327-jesse would probably think so . ‘[2342-matt] Consider [me]2342-matt reminded . Now , get [your]1618-you arse here . ’ Oh , if looks could kill . ‘[2342-matt] No ! ’ [I]2342-matt say incredulously . [He]327-jesse really does n’t like being defied . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not risking [my]2342-matt job security , just so [I]2342-matt do n’t upset [Mr Control Freak]327-jesse [here]314-here . [He]327-jesse looks at [me]2342-matt in complete disbelief , dismounting [his]327-jesse bike in the most spectacular fashion , [his]327-jesse jeans stretching tightly over [his]327-jesse magnificent thighs . [I]2342-matt shift on [my]2342-matt feet . [I]2342-matt ’m way too affected by [this man]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse glares at [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Three , ’ [I]2342-matt gape . [He]327-jesse would n’t ? Not in the middle of [Berkeley Square]47-berkeley square . It would look like [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] being abducted , raped and murdered all at once ! Obviously , [I]2342-matt know different , but it wo n’t look good to [an outsider]1620-an outsider , and [I]2342-matt hate to think what [Jesse]327-jesse is capable of if [someone]587-someone tries to pull [him]327-jesse off [me]2342-matt . [His]327-jesse lips spread into a straight line of displeasure , while [he]327-jesse drills holes into [me]2342-matt with [his]327-jesse hard stare . ‘ Two , ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse grates through gritted teeth . Think , think , think . [I]2342-matt huff . ‘ Oh , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not getting into a row with [you]1622-you in [the middle of [Berkeley Square]47-berkeley square]1623-the middle of berkeley square . [You]1622-you ’re [a child]869-a child sometimes ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt pivot and start walking away . [I]2342-matt do n’t know why [I]2342-matt ’m doing this , [he]327-jesse ’s like an unexploded bomb , but [I]2342-matt ’ve got to hold [my]2342-matt own here . [He]327-jesse ’s being stupidly unreasonable , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] putting [my]2342-matt foot down . [I]2342-matt feel [him]327-jesse close behind [me]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt stalk towards [Bond Street]49-bond street , but [I]2342-matt charge on . There ’s a cute boutique up [here]314-here . [I]2342-matt ’ll escape in there . ‘ [One]1110-one ! ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse yells . [I]2342-matt carry on walking . ‘ Fuck off ! [You]1625-you ’re[2342-matt] being unreasonable and unfair . ’ [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] pushing [my]2342-matt luck now , swearing and disobeying , but [I]2342-matt ’m that mad ! ‘[2342-matt] MOUTH ! What ’s so unreasonable about wanting to kiss [you]1625-you ? ’ Good grief . Is [he]327-jesse that self - absorbed ? ‘[1625-you] [You]1625-you know damn well what ’s unreasonable about it . And it ’s unfair because [you]1625-you ’re trying to make [me]2342-matt feel shitty about it . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt enter [the store]2819-the shop , leaving [him]327-jesse pacing up and down on [the pavement]2745-the pavement , looking through the window every now and then . [I]2342-matt knew [he]327-jesse would n’t come in . [I]2342-matt ’m not oblivious to the fact that [he]327-jesse looks raging mad and [I]2342-matt have to leave [the shop]2819-the shop at some point , but [I]2342-matt need a few moments alone to collect [myself]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt start mooching about . An overdressed , over made up girl approaches [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Can [I]2342-matt help [you]1625-you ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m just browsing , thanks . ’[2342-matt] ‘ This section is all new season stock , ’[1628-she] [She]1628-she runs [her]1628-she arm along a suspended rail of dresses . ‘ [We]3180-we have some beautiful dresses . Please , just ask if [you]1625-you need another size . ’[1628-she] [She]1628-she smiles . ‘ Thank [you]1625-you . ’[1628-she] [I]2342-matt start cruising through the rails , spotting some truly gorgeous dresses – albeit stupid prices , but gorgeous nevertheless . [I]2342-matt pick up a fitted , cream silk , sleeveless affair . It ’s shorter than [I]2342-matt usually wear , but lovely . ‘ [You]1625-you ’re[2342-matt] not wearing that ! ’ [I]2342-matt snap [my]2342-matt head up and see [Jesse]327-jesse stood in the doorway , looking at the dress like it could spit poison . Oh , how embarrassing ! [The sales assistant]3181-the sales assistant looks wide eyed at [Jesse]327-jesse and back to [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt half smile at [her]1625-you . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] horrified . Who the bloody hell does [he]1629-he think [he]1629-he is ? [I]2342-matt throw [him]1629-he [my]2342-matt dirtiest look , mouth fuck off and watch as the proverbial steam fires out of [his]1629-he ears . [I]2342-matt turn to [the assistant]1630-the assistant . ‘ Have [you]2342-matt anything shorter . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask sweetly . ‘ [Ava]832-ava ! ’[1629-he] [he]1629-he barks . ‘ Do n’t push [me]1629-he . ’[1629-he] [I]2342-matt ignore [him]1629-he , keeping [my]2342-matt eyes on [the assistant]1630-the assistant expectantly . [The poor girl]1631-the poor girl looks like [she]1631-the poor girl could have a panic attack , [her]1631-the poor girl gaze flicking , very nervously , from [me]2342-matt to [Jesse]327-jesse and back again . ‘ No , [I]1631-the poor girl do n’t think so . ’[1631-the poor girl] [she]1631-the poor girl says quietly . Okay , now [I]2342-matt ’m feeling sorry for [her]1631-the poor girl . [I]2342-matt should n’t be dragging [her]1631-the poor girl into this pathetic disagreement over a dress . ‘[2342-matt] Okay , [I]2342-matt ’ll take this one . ’ [I]212-urh smile , handing [her]1631-the poor girl the dress . [She]1631-the poor girl looks at [me]212-urh , then at [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘[212-urh] [Urh]212-urh … is this the correct size for [you]212-urh ? ’ ‘[212-urh] It ’s a ten ? ’ [I]212-urh ask . [I]212-urh can literally feel [the shop]2819-the shop shaking under [his]212-urh wrath . ‘[212-urh] It is , but [I]2342-matt would recommend that [you]212-urh try it on , [we]1632-me do n’t offer refunds . ’ [she]1631-the poor girl advises [me]1632-me . Well , [I]1632-me was going to risk it not fitting , but at that price , maybe not . [She]1631-the poor girl shows [me]1632-me to [a changing room]3183-a changing room , hanging the dress on a fancy hook for [me]1632-me . ‘[1632-me] Just call if [you]212-urh require any help . ’ [She]1631-the poor girl smiles , pulling the velvet curtain across , leaving [me]327-jesse and the dress alone . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] being as pathetic as [Jesse]327-jesse by doing this ; [I]2342-matt ’m purposely pushing [him]1633-the man who made me sleep in a winter jumper in the middle of spring . [We]3184-we ’re[2342-matt] talking about [the man who made [me]2342-matt sleep in a winter jumper in the middle of spring]1633-the man who made me sleep in a winter jumper in the middle of spring because [another male]1634-another male was in the flat . Is this necessary ? [I]2342-matt decide it is – [he]1633-the man who made me sleep in a winter jumper in the middle of spring ca n’t behave like this . [I]2342-matt fight [my]2342-matt way into the dress , struggling with the zipper where it meets the seam on the bust line . [I]2342-matt ’m not giving up . [I]72-jesus know if [I]72-jesus can just get it over that line of stitching , it ’ll be just fine . [I]72-jesus smooth down the front of the dress . It feels lovely . Pulling the curtain across , [I]72-jesus stand back from the floor length mirror to take a good look . Wow ! This dress really does it for [me]72-jesus . It compliments [my]72-jesus olive skin and dark hair perfectly . ‘[72-jesus] Oh , [Jesus]72-jesus , [Mary]213-mary and [Joseph]95-joseph ! ’ [I]72-jesus swivel , finding [Jesse]327-jesse gripping [his]327-jesse hair , pacing up and down . [He]327-jesse looks like [he]327-jesse ’s been [Taser gunned]214-taser gunned . [He]327-jesse stops , looks at [me]72-jesus , opens [his]327-jesse mouth , snaps it shut and starts with the pacing again . [I]72-jesus ’m[72-jesus] quite amused . [He]1635-he stops stalking and looks at [me]2342-matt , all wide eyed and traumatised . ‘ [You]1636-you ’re[1635-he] not ... [you]1636-you … [you]1636-you can’t ... [Ava]832-ava … [baby]832-ava … oh , [I]2342-matt ca n’t look at [you]1636-you ! ’ [He]1635-he walks out adjusting [his]1635-he groin , muttering some crap about [an intolerable female]3185-an intolerable female and heart attacks . Then [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] alone with the dress again . [The assistant]1630-the assistant approaches with caution . ‘ The dress looks incredible . ’[1630-the assistant] [she]1630-the assistant says quietly , looking over [her]1630-the assistant shoulder for [Jesse]327-jesse ’s whereabouts . ‘ Thank [you]1636-you , [I]1630-the assistant ’ll take it . ’[1630-the assistant] The dress is easier to remove than it is to get on . [I]2342-matt hand it over to [the assistant]1630-the assistant and get [myself]2342-matt dressed . When [I]2342-matt exit [the changing rooms]1638-the changing rooms , [Jesse]327-jesse is inspecting some very high heels . The look of mystification on [his]327-jesse beautiful face makes [me]2342-matt melt slightly , but then [he]327-jesse spots [me]2342-matt , shoves them back and scowls at [me]2342-matt . And [I]2342-matt remember … [I’m]215-i’m furious with [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt get [my]2342-matt purse from [my]2342-matt bag and hand [my]2342-matt credit card over . Five hundred quid for a dress ? It is way too extravagant , but [I]2342-matt ’m being defiant . And [I]2342-matt called [him]327-jesse [a child]1631-the poor girl ? This is ridiculous . Where did [he]327-jesse get the idea that [he]327-jesse has the right to call the shots of [my]2342-matt wardrobe choice ? [The assistant]327-jesse begins wrapping the dress in all sorts of fancy tissue paper . [I]2342-matt want to tell [her]1631-the poor girl to shove it in a bag and be done with it , before [Jesse]327-jesse resorts to ripping it apart . But [I]2342-matt fear [the poor girl]1631-the poor girl might lose [her]1631-the poor girl job if [she]1631-the poor girl did something as common as that . So , [I]2342-matt resign [myself]2342-matt to shutting up and waiting patiently while [she]1631-the poor girl does [her]1631-the poor girl thing . After an age of wrapping , folding , tucking in and punching in [my]2342-matt pin number , [the assistant]327-jesse hands [me]2342-matt the bag . ‘[2342-matt] Enjoy the dress , [Madam]216-madam . It really did look lovely on [you]216-madam . ’ [She]216-madam flicks a cautious glace at [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘[216-madam] Thank [you]216-madam , ’ [I]2342-matt smile . Now , how to get out of [the store]1626-the store ? [I]2342-matt turn , finding [Jesse]327-jesse filling the doorway , still scowling and still brooding . [I]2342-matt walk with purpose , [I]2342-matt do n’t really feel , and stop in front of [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] really crapping [myself]2342-matt , but [I]2342-matt wo n’t let [him]327-jesse see that . ‘ Excuse [me]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse looks at [me]2342-matt , then at the bag . ‘ [You]216-madam ’ve just wasted hundreds of pounds . [You]216-madam ’re[327-jesse] not wearing that dress . ’ [he]327-jesse says emphatically . ‘[2342-matt] Excuse [me]2342-matt , please . ’ [I]2342-matt accentuate the please . [His]327-jesse lips press into a straight line as [he]327-jesse shifts [his]327-jesse tall , lean body to the side , leaving a gap for [me]2342-matt to pass . Stepping out onto [the street]279-the office , [I]2342-matt head towards [the office]279-the office . [I]2342-matt ’ve only had forty minutes , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not spending the rest of [my]2342-matt lunch break arguing over touching in public and [my]2342-matt wardrobe choice . Today started so well … when [I]2342-matt was complying . [I]2342-matt feel [his]327-jesse hot breath on [my]2342-matt neck . ‘ Zero , ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt yelp as [I]2342-matt ’m yanked into [an alleyway]3189-an alleyway and shoved up against a wall . [His]327-jesse lips smash to [mine]2342-matt , [his]327-jesse hips grinding against [my]2342-matt lower stomach , [his]327-jesse raging arousal evident beneath the button fly of [his]327-jesse jeans . [He]327-jesse ’s turned on by getting cranky over a dress ? [I]2342-matt suppose it ’s better than being tortured . [I]2342-matt try and resist the invasion of [his]327-jesse tongue … a little . Ah … it ’s no good . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] instantly consumed by [him]327-jesse and the need to have [him]327-jesse all over [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt link [my]2342-matt arms around [his]327-jesse neck , accepting [him]327-jesse willingly , absorbing [his]327-jesse intrusion and meeting [his]327-jesse tongue , stroke for stroke . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not going to let [you]1640-you wear that dress . ’ [he]327-jesse moans into [my]1640-you mouth . ‘[1640-you] [You]1640-you ca n’t tell [me]2342-matt what [I]2342-matt can and ca n’t wear . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Stop [me]2342-matt . ’ [he]327-jesse challenges . ‘[2342-matt] It ’s just a dress . ’ ‘[2342-matt] It ’s not just a dress on [you]1640-you , [Ava]832-ava . [You]1640-you ’re not wearing it . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse pushes [his]327-jesse groin into [my]2342-matt lower stomach , a clear demonstration of what the dress does to [him]327-jesse , and [I]2342-matt know [he]327-jesse ’s thinking [other men]1641-other men will have the same reaction . [Crazy man]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt exhale wearily . Buying the dress is one thing . Putting it on and making it to [the pub]1642-the pub , is another challenge entirely . [I]2342-matt ’m twenty six years old , and [he]327-jesse said [himself]327-jesse [I]2342-matt have great legs . [I]2342-matt decide [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not going to get anywhere with this . Not now , anyway . [I]2342-matt do , however , intend to discuss , in full detail , [his]327-jesse illusions that [he]327-jesse has control over [my]2342-matt wardrobe . In fact , [we]1643-we need to talk about [his]327-jesse unreasonableness full stop – but not now . [I]2342-matt only have twenty minutes left of [my]2342-matt lunch break , and [I]2342-matt highly expect that conversation to take considerably longer . ‘ Thank [you]2342-matt for the cake . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say as [he]327-jesse kisses every inch of [my]2342-matt face . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[327-jesse] welcome . Did [you]2342-matt eat it ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Yes , it was delicious . ’ [I]2342-matt kiss the corner of [his]327-jesse mouth , rubbing [my]2342-matt cheek up [his]327-jesse stubble . A low rumble escapes [his]327-jesse lips as [I]2342-matt hum in [his]327-jesse ear and nuzzle into [his]327-jesse neck , inhaling [his]327-jesse lovely fresh water scent . [I]2342-matt just want to crawl inside [him]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not supposed to be spending any more time on [you]2342-matt until [you]2342-matt ’ve settled [your]2342-matt bill . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hold onto [him]327-jesse , squeezing a little tighter as [he]327-jesse nibbles at [my]2342-matt ear lobe . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’ll trample [anyone who tries to stop [me]327-jesse]3190-anyone who tries to stop me . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse licks up the edge of [my]2342-matt ear , triggering a shiver to ride through [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’ve no doubt [he]327-jesse will . [The man]327-jesse is crazy beyond crazy . Why is [he]327-jesse like this ? ‘ Why are [you]327-jesse so unreasonable ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse pulls back and looks at [me]2342-matt , surprise at [my]2342-matt question evident on [his]327-jesse stunning , stubbled face . [His]327-jesse frown line jumps into position . ‘ [I]327-jesse do n’t know . Can [I]327-jesse ask [you]327-jesse the same question ? ’[327-jesse] [My]2342-matt mouth falls open . [Me]2342-matt ? [This man]327-jesse is crazy delusional . [His]327-jesse list of misdemeanours goes on and on . [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head on a frown . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’d better get back to [the office]279-the office . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse sighs . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’ll walk [you]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] ‘ Half way , [I]2342-matt ca n’t be seen to be entertaining [clients]424-clients for lunch without [Patrick]327-jesse knowing , especially [ones in debt]3193-ones in debt , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt grumble . ‘ Pay [your]327-jesse bill ! ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse rolls [his]327-jesse eyes . ‘ [God]68-god forbid [Patrick]327-jesse should find out that [you]327-jesse ’re[327-jesse] having [your]1644-your brain fucked out by [a non - paying client]2342-matt . ’ A small smirk breaks the corners of [his]327-jesse mouth as [I]1646-i gasp in shock at [his]327-jesse crude summary of [our]1646-i relationship . ‘[1646-i] Shall [we]1646-i ? ’ [He]327-jesse waves [his]327-jesse arm in the direction of [the alley entrance]3194-the alley entrance on a smirk . [Fucked]217-fucked ? Well , [we]1646-i had , [I]1646-i suppose . But hearing the statement from [him]327-jesse hits a nerve . [We]1646-i walk towards [[my]1646-i office]1011-my office , and the silence is uncomfortable – for [me]1646-i , anyway . [I]1646-i ’m[1646-i] totally wounded by [his]2342-matt statement . Is that how [he]2342-matt sees [me]2342-matt ? Like a little play thing [he]2342-matt gets to fuck and control ? [I]2342-matt wilt on the inside and , yet again , contemplate the agony that [I]2342-matt ’m setting [myself]2342-matt up for . [The man]2342-matt throws off so many mixed signals ; [my]2342-matt poor ego ca n’t keep up . [I]2342-matt feel [his]2342-matt hand brush against [mine]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt automatically pull it away . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] really sulking . On a slight growl , [he]2342-matt tries again . [I]2342-matt say nothing but pull [my]2342-matt hand away . [I]2342-matt ’m in a mood and want [him]2342-matt to know it . [He]2342-matt ’ll get the message . [He]2342-matt does n’t . [He]2342-matt grabs [my]2342-matt hand again , holding it in a vice grip , to the point of pain . It ’s what [I]2342-matt would have expected . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] beginning to read [this man]327-jesse like a book . [I]2342-matt flex [my]2342-matt fingers , looking up to see [his]327-jesse fixed glower fade into contentment , as [I]2342-matt give up fighting and let [him]327-jesse keep hold of [me]2342-matt . Let [him]327-jesse ? Like [I]2342-matt have any other option . At this exact moment , [the fates]1648-the fates thought it would be riotously funny to send [[Matt]2342-matt ’s friend]1649-matt ’s friend , [James]218-james , bowling around [the corner]1650-the corner and down [the street]945-the street towards [us]1652-us . [I]2342-matt try [my]2342-matt damnedest to free [my]2342-matt hand , but [he]327-jesse just increases the pressure around it . ‘ Shit ! That ’s [[Matt]2342-matt ’s friend]1649-matt ’s friend . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt spit urgently . [His]327-jesse scowl is back when [he]327-jesse whips [his]327-jesse face to [mine]2342-matt . ‘ Mouth , [[your]2342-matt ex]1649-matt ’s friend ? ’[327-jesse] ‘ Yes , let go . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt try to prize [his]327-jesse fingers off , but it ’s useless . After [Matt]2342-matt ’s “ [I]2342-matt want [you]2342-matt back ” plea , [his]327-jesse subsequent “ [I]2342-matt ’m so sorry ” speech and general crappy situation at the moment , it would be unfair for [me]2342-matt to rub [his]327-jesse face in it . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt told [you]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . [I]2342-matt ’ll trample . ’ [he]327-jesse warns , looking straight ahead at [James]218-james , [his]327-jesse face completely unaffected and determined , [his]327-jesse grip harsh . [I]2342-matt try holding [him]327-jesse back , giving [me]2342-matt time to get [myself]2342-matt free and avoid the impending disaster that would be [James]218-james clocking [me]2342-matt hand in hand with [another man]3196-another man . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not one to cause [anyone]2475-anyone any unnecessary hurt , and this is completely unnecessary . [Matt]2342-matt is feeling crappy enough , without [Kate]2557-kate ’s snipe being confirmed . [I]2342-matt continue to struggle and [Jesse]327-jesse continues to be a complete twat . [I]2342-matt am , quite literally , dragged closer and closer to [James]218-james . It ’s only seconds before [he]218-james looks up from [his]218-james phone and spots [me]2342-matt . [He]218-james might not look up . Maybe [we]1654-we ’ll pass on [the street]945-the street and that will be it . Oh , [I]2342-matt hope so , because there ’s not a chance of [me]2342-matt shaking [Jesse]327-jesse off , and an even lesser chance of [him]327-jesse being reasonable and letting [me]2342-matt go . As [we]1654-we near , [I]2342-matt resolve to stop struggling and drawing attention to [myself]2342-matt . [James]218-james is pretty wrapped up doing something on [his]218-james phone , the chances of [him]218-james looking up getting slimmer by each step [we]1654-we take towards [him]218-james . [I]2342-matt mentally send a string of explicit language to [Jesse]327-jesse , jerking [my]2342-matt hand to reinforce [my]2342-matt anger , but [he]218-james just looks straight ahead , continuing with [his]218-james purposeful strides . ‘ [Trample]219-trample . ’[218-james] [he]218-james growls . Just as [we]1654-we ’re passing on [the pavement]2745-the pavement , [I]218-james start to relax . [We]1654-we ’re[218-james] nearly past [James]218-james , but then [Jesse]327-jesse speaks . ‘ [You]218-james got the time ? ’[327-jesse] WHAT ? [The fucking stupid , stupid man]1656-the fucking stupid , stupid man ! [I]2342-matt die a thousand deaths on the spot as [I]2342-matt ’m forced to stand there holding hands with [Jesse]327-jesse , right in front of [James]218-james . [I]2342-matt want to point to the dirty great big Rolex on [his]327-jesse wrist , or yank it up and tell [him]327-jesse the bloody time [myself]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse really is [a self - absorbed , unreasonable rogue]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] Yeah , sure it ’s ... [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [James]218-james looks at [me]218-james , [his]218-james brow completely furrowed . [My]218-james brain ’s in complete meltdown , trying to figure out what message it should be sending to [my]218-james mouth . ‘[218-james] [James]218-james , ’ [I]218-james just about manage . [James]218-james does a tennis spectator performance , [his]218-james eyes flicking from [me]218-james to [Jesse]327-jesse and back again . ‘[218-james] Urhhhh … are [you]218-james okay ? ’ ‘[218-james] Yes . ’ [My]218-james voice is high pitched and squeaky . [He]327-jesse regards [me]218-james disapprovingly , which is bloody rich , considering [he]327-jesse was [[Matt]2342-matt ’s right hand man in all of [his]327-jesse transgressions]327-jesse . [I]218-james do n’t even know why [I]218-james ’m[218-james] bothering to get [my]2342-matt knickers in such a twist . After everything [Matt]2342-matt has done , what do [I]2342-matt care if [he]2342-matt receives confirmation of [me]2342-matt seeing [another man]3196-another man ? Now , [I]2342-matt just feel furious with [Jesse]327-jesse for taking it upon [himself]3196-another man to decide when and how things play out . ‘ Time ? ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse prompts shortly . [I]2342-matt hope [I]2342-matt ’m [the only one who can detect the hostility emanating from [him]327-jesse]3196-another man . [James]218-james turns [his]218-james stare on [Jesse]327-jesse , giving [him]327-jesse the once over , faltering when [he]327-jesse clocks the Rolex . [I]2342-matt mentally plead for [him]327-jesse to give [Jesse]327-jesse the time and not poke the rattle snake . [James]218-james can be as cocky as [Matt]2342-matt , and upsetting [Jesse]327-jesse would be a huge mistake . ‘[2342-matt] Yeah , ’ [He]218-james glances down at [his]218-james phone . ‘[2342-matt] It ’s ten to two , [mate]1658-mate . ’ [Jesse]327-jesse does n’t thank [him]327-jesse . Instead , [he]327-jesse releases [my]1658-mate hand , throws [his]327-jesse arms around [my]1658-mate shoulder and pulls [me]1658-mate into [his]327-jesse side , placing [his]327-jesse lips gently on [my]1658-mate temple . [I]1658-mate look up at [him]327-jesse , shaking [my]1658-mate head in dismay . [He]327-jesse ’s trampling . [His]327-jesse upper body is puffing , and short of banging [his]327-jesse fist on [his]327-jesse chest , [he]327-jesse may as well be pissing up the side of [my]1658-mate leg . [James]218-james watches , all wide eyed , as [Jesse]327-jesse leads [us]1660-we away from [him]218-james . [I]1658-mate ’m[1658-mate] completely speechless . [He]327-jesse ’s just made reference to [our]1660-we relationship as little more than fucking , and now [he]327-jesse ’s marking [his]327-jesse territory . [I]2342-matt ’m so confused by all of this . If [I]327-jesse had the courage , [I]327-jesse would just come outright and ask [him]327-jesse . Why ca n’t [I]327-jesse do that ? [I]327-jesse know why . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] worried about what [he]327-jesse might say . [These shallow waters]1661-these shallow waters are becoming trickier to navigate the more time [I]2342-matt spend with [this man]327-jesse . As [we]1660-we near [[my]2342-matt office]1011-my office , [he]327-jesse stops and gently presses [me]2342-matt up against the wall with [his]327-jesse body . [He]327-jesse lowers [his]327-jesse face to [mine]2342-matt , [his]327-jesse hot , minty breath warming [my]2342-matt cheeks . ‘ Why would [you]327-jesse not want [[your]327-jesse ex]1649-matt ’s friend to know [you]327-jesse ’re[3196-another man] fucking [another man]3196-another man ? ’ There [we]1660-we are . Fucking ! ‘[3196-another man] No reason , it ’s just not necessary . ’ [I]3196-another man say quietly . [He]327-jesse reaches up , grasping [my]3196-another man wrist to pull [my]3196-another man hand down from [my]3196-another man hair . ‘[3196-another man] Now , tell [me]2342-matt the truth . ’ [he]327-jesse demands softly . How has [he]327-jesse picked up on [my]832-ava bad habit so quickly ? [I]832-ava ’ve known [[my]832-ava Mum]577-mum , [Dad]581-dad and [[my]832-ava brother]2486-my brother all of [my]832-ava life , and [Kate]2557-kate since [secondary school]3201-secondary school . [They]3202-they ’ve earned the right to this knowledge . ‘[832-ava] Answer [me]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt asked [me]2342-matt to get back together with [him]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt drop [my]2342-matt eyes . [I]2342-matt ca n’t look at [him]2342-matt . Not that [I]2342-matt should care . After all , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] only fucking [him]2342-matt . ‘ When ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt grinds the words through clenched teeth . ‘ It was weeks ago . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt feel [his]2342-matt hand tighten around [my]2342-matt wrist as [my]2342-matt muscles flex to raise [my]2342-matt fingers to [my]2342-matt hair . [I]2342-matt ’m so bad at lying . [He]2342-matt tips [my]2342-matt chin up with [his]2342-matt free hand so [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] forced to look at [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m not at all comfortable with the blackness burning in [his]2342-matt eyes . ‘[2342-matt] When ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Last Tuesday . ’ [I]2342-matt whisper . [His]2342-matt eyes narrow as [he]2342-matt starts chomping on [his]2342-matt bottom lip . What ’s [he]2342-matt thinking ? ‘[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt was [your]2342-matt something important that came up , was n’t [he]2342-matt ? ’ Oh … dear . [He]2342-matt ’s going to go spare . [I]2342-matt watch as [his]2342-matt chest puffs in and out , slowly and controlled . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not frightened – [I]2342-matt know [he]2342-matt wo n’t hurt [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’ve seen [his]2342-matt reaction and subsequent prevention methods to a few bruises on [my]2342-matt arse , but [he]2342-matt ’s just so intense in [his]2342-matt reactions and approaches . ‘ Yes . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt admit quietly . [I]2342-matt physically feel the ice air emanate from [him]2342-matt at [my]2342-matt answer . ‘ [I]2342-matt need to get back to work . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt add . [I]2342-matt need to remove [myself]2342-matt from this situation . [His]2342-matt sludgy eyes bore into [me]2342-matt . ‘ [You]2342-matt wo n’t see [him]2342-matt again . ’[2342-matt] It ’s another demand . This lunch hour has been a massive eye opener . [He]2342-matt wants complete control of [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt get absolutely no say in it – none at all . Is this what [I]2342-matt want ? [My]2342-matt head is a riot of mixed feelings and doubts . Why did [I]2342-matt have to go and fall in love with the ultimate , unreasonable , challenging control freak ? [I]2342-matt wait patiently for [him]2342-matt to release [me]2342-matt from [his]2342-matt grasp . [I]2342-matt have no idea what to say . Is [he]2342-matt waiting for [my]2342-matt confirmation to [his]2342-matt demand ? Should [I]2342-matt give it ? [I]2342-matt ’m not likely to see [Matt]2342-matt again , not after [his]2342-matt performance , but should [I]2342-matt have to give [my]2342-matt word to a man that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] , apparently , fucking ? [He]2342-matt watches [me]2342-matt carefully for a considerable amount of time before [his]2342-matt forehead meets [mine]2342-matt and [his]2342-matt lips move up , pressing against [my]2342-matt brow . ‘ Go to work , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt steps back . [I]2342-matt do n’t hang about . [I]2342-matt leave [him]2342-matt on [the pavement]2745-the pavement and walk back to [[my]2342-matt office]1011-my office as fast as [my]2342-matt shaky legs will carry [me]2342-matt . Pushing [my]2342-matt way through the office door , [I]2342-matt ’m met by [Tom]60-tom and [Victoria]54-victoria ’s inquisitive faces . [I]832-ava must look as terrible as [I]832-ava feel . [I]832-ava hope [they]3203-they do n’t start asking questions about [Mr Ward]327-jesse , or about anything , actually . [I]832-ava think [I]832-ava ’ll fall apart . [I]832-ava shake [my]832-ava head at [them]3203-they both as [I]832-ava make [my]832-ava way to [my]832-ava desk . [Sally]54-victoria walks out of [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen with a tray full of coffees . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt did n’t realise [you]832-ava were back . Do [you]832-ava want a tea or coffee ? ’ [I]54-victoria want to ask [her]832-ava if [she]832-ava has any wine stored away in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , but [I]54-victoria refrain . ‘[54-victoria] No , thank [you]832-ava , [Sal]54-victoria . ’ [I]54-victoria murmur , earning [me]54-victoria a what - the - hell - is - going - on look from [Tom]60-tom and [Victoria]54-victoria . [I]54-victoria focus [my]54-victoria full attention on [my]54-victoria computer screen , trying to ignore the ache dwelling deep inside [me]54-victoria . [Jesse]327-jesse has some serious issues with control – or power , as [he]327-jesse calls it . [I]54-victoria ca n’t do this – [I]54-victoria ca n’t expose [myself]54-victoria to guaranteed heartbreak . That ’s exactly where this is heading . [My]54-victoria mobile rings and [I]54-victoria ’m[54-victoria] grateful for the distraction from [my]2342-matt turmoil . It ’s [Mr Van Der Haus]117-mr van der haus . Is [he]117-mr van der haus back ? ‘ Hello ? ’[117-mr van der haus] [His]117-mr van der haus light Danish accent rolls down the telephone . ‘ Hello , [Ava]832-ava . How did [you]832-ava find [The Life Building]2829-the life building ? [Ingrid]194-ingrid has advised [me]117-mr van der haus [your]832-ava meeting went very well . ’[117-mr van der haus] [He]117-mr van der haus ’s ringing from [Denmark]37-denmark to ask [me]2342-matt this ? Could it not wait until [he]117-mr van der haus ’s back ? ‘ Yes , very well . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know what else to say . ‘ [I]2342-matt do hope that lovely little head of [yours]832-ava is swimming with ideas . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] looking forward to meeting upon [my]2342-matt return to [the UK]1666-the uk . ’ [He]117-mr van der haus ’s called [me]2342-matt from [Denmark]37-denmark . [He]117-mr van der haus ’s referring to [my]2342-matt head as pretty . Oh , please do n’t bless [me]2342-matt with [another inappropriate client]3206-another inappropriate client . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] having a hard enough time dealing with the one [I]2342-matt ’ve got . ‘ Yes , [I]2342-matt got [your]2342-matt email too . [I]2342-matt ’ll have some schemes ready for [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve practically finished the mood boards and drawings . It just came to [me]2342-matt all of a sudden – at a moment when [my]2342-matt brain was n’t consumed with [a certain other client]1667-a certain other client . ‘ Excellent ! [I]2342-matt shall be back in [London]5-london next Friday . Can [we]3207-we meet ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , of course . Any particular day ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt will have [Ingrid]194-ingrid contact [you]2342-matt . [She]194-ingrid arranges [my]2342-matt diary . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt pout to [myself]2342-matt . How lovely to have [one person dedicated to organising [your]1669-your life]1668-one person dedicated to organising your life . [I]2342-matt would benefit from one of those at the moment . ‘ Okay , [Mr Van Der Haus]117-mr van der haus . ’[1668-one person dedicated to organising your life] [I]2342-matt hear [him]1668-one person dedicated to organising your life tut . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , please . It ’s [Mikael]118-mikael . Goodbye . ’[1668-one person dedicated to organising your life] ‘ Goodbye , [Mikael]118-mikael . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hang up and sit at [my]2342-matt desk , tapping [my]2342-matt tooth with [my]2342-matt fingernail . [I]2342-matt really do n’t know if [he]1668-one person dedicated to organising your life ’s just being super friendly or super friendly . [He]1668-one person dedicated to organising your life took [my]2342-matt decline to dinner pretty well , so am [I]2342-matt reading too much into this ? This is [Jesse Wards]220-jesse wards fault , or do [I]2342-matt have easy written on [my]2342-matt forehead ? [I]2342-matt instinctively reach up and rub [my]2342-matt head . Christ , [I]2342-matt ’m a mess . [I]2342-matt retrieve [my]2342-matt drawings for [The Life Building]2829-the life building , spread them out on [my]2342-matt desk , and grabbing [my]2342-matt pencil , [I]2342-matt start making notes . [I]2342-matt hear [the office]279-the office door open in the background , but [I]2342-matt do n’t look up . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] on a roll with additional ideas . It ’s a welcome , and very needed , distraction . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , ’[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom calls . ‘ It ’s [someone]587-someone for [youhoo]3211-youhoo ! ’[60-tom] [I]2342-matt look up , nearly falling off [my]2342-matt chair when [I]2342-matt see [Jesse]220-jesse wards stood , bold as brass , at the front of [the office]279-the office . Oh , good [God]68-god , what is [he]68-god doing ? [He]68-god walks , with complete confidence , over to [my]2342-matt desk – all godly in [his]68-god faded jeans , white t - shirt and ruffled hair . [I]2342-matt notice [Tom]60-tom and [Victoria]54-victoria tapping [their]1671-their pens casually on [their]1671-their desks as [they]1671-their follow [his]68-god path to [me]2342-matt . Even [Sal]54-victoria has paused mid - fax , looking slightly confused . [He]68-god lands at the foot of [my]2342-matt desk , [my]2342-matt eyes travelling up [his]68-god body to meet [his]68-god green gaze , the semblance of a smug , satisfied smile tickling the corners of [his]68-god mouth . [I]2342-matt ’m not sure what to make of this . [He]68-god left [me]832-ava , not half an hour ago , with shaky legs and a mind racing in confusion . The shakes have returned , except [my]832-ava whole body is trembling now , and [my]832-ava mind ’s a disorder of chaos and uncertainty . What ’s [he]68-god trying to prove here ? ‘[832-ava] [Miss O’Shea]832-ava . ’ [he]68-god says softly . ‘[327-jesse] [Mr Ward]327-jesse . ’ [I]327-jesse greet hesitantly . [I]327-jesse look at [him]68-god questioningly , but [he]68-god ’s giving nothing away . [I]327-jesse glance across [the office]279-the office , spotting three pairs of eyes flicking towards [me]327-jesse at regular intervals . ‘[327-jesse] Are n’t [you]832-ava going to ask if [I]2342-matt would like a seat ? ’ [I]2342-matt snap [my]2342-matt eyes back to [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] Please , ’ [I]2342-matt indicate one of the black tub chairs on the other side of [my]2342-matt desk . [He]68-god pulls one out , lowering [himself]68-god slowly into the chair . ‘[2342-matt] What are [you]832-ava doing ? ’ [I]2342-matt hiss , leaning across [my]2342-matt desk . [He]68-god smiles that self - assured , melt - worthy smile . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m here to settle an invoice , [Miss O’Shea]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Oh , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt lean back in [my]2342-matt chair . ‘ [Sally]54-victoria ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt call . ‘ Can [you]832-ava deal with [Mr Ward]327-jesse , please ? [He]327-jesse would like to settle [his]327-jesse outstanding account . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt watch as [Jesse]327-jesse shifts in [his]327-jesse chair slightly , throwing [me]2342-matt a critical look . [I]2342-matt ’m not being defiant . It ’s not [my]2342-matt job to take payment ; [I]2342-matt would n’t know where to start . ‘[2342-matt] Of course , ’ [Sally]54-victoria calls . [I]54-victoria see realisation hit [her]54-victoria . Yes ! It ’s [the same man that screamed at [you]54-victoria down the phone , bulldozed [the office]279-the office]3213-the same man that screamed at you down the phone , bulldozed the office and sent [you]54-victoria flowers . Apparently , [I]54-victoria drive [him]327-jesse crazy ! [I]54-victoria throw [her]54-victoria a don’t - ask - just - do look , prompting [her]54-victoria to scuttle off towards the filing cabinet . ‘[54-victoria] [Sally]54-victoria will look after [you]54-victoria , [Mr Ward]327-jesse . ’ [I]54-victoria smile politely . [Jesse]327-jesse ’s eyebrows shoot up , [his]327-jesse frown line jumping into position . ‘[54-victoria] Only [you]54-victoria . ’ [he]327-jesse says softly , for [my]832-ava ears only . [He]327-jesse makes no attempt to remove [himself]327-jesse from [my]832-ava desk . [He]327-jesse just sits there – all casual and relaxed , regarding [me]832-ava closely as [Sally]54-victoria farts around at the filing cabinet . Hurry up ! [I]832-ava nearly snap [my]832-ava pencil when [I]832-ava hear the familiar thump of [Patrick]327-jesse ’s heavy feet from behind [me]832-ava . This day just keeps getting better and better . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava ? ’ Glancing nervously up , [I]327-jesse see [Patrick]327-jesse stood at the side at [my]327-jesse desk , looking at [me]327-jesse expectantly . [I]327-jesse wave [my]327-jesse pencil in the general direction of [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse , this is [Mr Ward]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse owns [The Manor]2356-the manor . [Mr Ward]327-jesse , meet [Patrick Peterson]327-jesse , [[my]2342-matt boss]327-jesse . ’ [I]327-jesse throw [Jesse]327-jesse a pleading look . ‘[327-jesse] Ah , [Mr Ward]327-jesse , [I]2342-matt know [your]2342-matt face . ’ [Patrick]327-jesse puts [his]327-jesse hand out . ‘[327-jesse] [We]1673-i met briefly at [Lusso]66-lusso . ’ [Jesse]327-jesse says as [he]327-jesse stands and clasps [Patrick]327-jesse ’s hand . Did [they]1673-i ? [I]1673-i see the pound signs ping into [Patrick]327-jesse ’s delighted , pale blue eyes . ‘[1673-i] Yes , [you]2342-matt brought [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse . ’ [he]327-jesse chirps joyfully . [Jesse]327-jesse nods [his]327-jesse confirmation . [I]1673-i notice [Patrick]327-jesse is n’t so worried about [his]327-jesse outstanding bill now . [Sally]54-victoria approaches with a copy of [Jesse]327-jesse ’s invoice and jumps a mile when [Patrick]327-jesse snatches it from [her]54-victoria dainty , pasty hand . ‘[1673-i] Have [you]2342-matt offered [Mr Ward]327-jesse a drink ? ’ [he]327-jesse asks a stunned [Sally]54-victoria . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m fine , thank [you]2342-matt . [I]327-jesse ’ve just come to settle [my]327-jesse account . ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse ’s husky tones reverberate through [me]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt sit , stuck like [velcro]221-velcro to [my]2342-matt chair , watching the polite exchange going on before [me]2342-matt . How can [he]327-jesse be so calm and collective ? [I]2342-matt ’m sat here , tense from top to toe , twiddling [my]2342-matt pencil nervously in [my]2342-matt hand and keeping [my]2342-matt mouth firmly shut . It must be obvious that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] uncomfortable , but [Patrick]327-jesse seems oblivious . [Patrick]327-jesse waves [Sally]54-victoria away . ‘ [You]54-victoria should n’t have rushed in just for this . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse flaps the outstanding invoice in the air . [I]2342-matt scoff , following it up with a cough to disguise [my]2342-matt reaction to [Patrick]327-jesse ’s casualness regarding the invoice [he]327-jesse huffed about , only a few hours ago . [He]327-jesse ’s changed [his]327-jesse tune . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’ve been away . [[My]327-jesse staff]3215-my staff overlooked it . ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse explains . [I]2342-matt release a thankful rush of air . ‘ [I]327-jesse knew there would be a perfectly reasonable explanation . Was it business or pleasure ? ’[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse sounds genuinely interested . [I]2342-matt know different . [He]327-jesse ’s mentally calculating how much money [he]327-jesse might be able to make out of [Jesse]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse ’s [a dear man]327-jesse , but [he]327-jesse ’s mad about turnover . [Jesse]327-jesse turns [his]327-jesse eyes on [me]2342-matt . ‘ Oh , definitely pleasure . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse says categorically . [I]2342-matt shrink further into [my]2342-matt swivel chair , feeling [my]2342-matt face turning a thousand shades of red . [I]2342-matt ca n’t even look [him]327-jesse in the eye . What is [he]327-jesse trying to do to [me]2342-matt ? ‘ [I]327-jesse ’d like to make some appointments with [Miss O’Shea]832-ava while [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] here . [We]1675-i need to get a quick turn around on this . ’ [he]327-jesse adds surely . [Ha]65-ha ! [I]1675-i very nearly remind [him]327-jesse that [he]327-jesse , supposedly , does n’t make appointments to fuck [me]1675-i . But if [I]1675-i did that , [I]1675-i suspect [I]1675-i would firstly get the sack , and secondly , receive a sense fuck to [rival all others]3216-rival all others . So , [I]1675-i keep [my]1675-i mouth firmly shut . Appointments ? [This man]327-jesse is impossible . ‘[1675-i] Absolutely , ’ [Patrick]327-jesse rumbles . ‘[1675-i] Are [you]1676-you looking for a design , or [a design consultation and/or project]1677-a design consultation and/or project manage ? ’ [I]1675-i roll [my]1675-i eyes . [I]1675-i know the answer to this question . After [my]1675-i perfectly exasperated eye roll is executed , [I]1675-i lift [my]1675-i eyes to [Jesse]327-jesse and find [him]327-jesse watching [me]1675-i , clearly struggling to maintain [his]327-jesse serious face . ‘[1675-i] The whole package . ’ [he]327-jesse answers . What the hell does that mean ? ‘[222-super] [Super]222-super ! ’ [Patrick]327-jesse claps [his]327-jesse hands together . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll leave [you]1676-you with [Ava]832-ava . [She]832-ava ’ll take good care of [you]1676-you . ’ [Patrick]327-jesse offers [his]327-jesse hand and [Jesse]327-jesse takes it , keeping [his]327-jesse eyes right on [me]832-ava . [I]832-ava ’ve never been in a more difficult situation in [my]832-ava life . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] sweating , fidgeting and sat so far back in [my]2342-matt chair , [I]2342-matt ’m probably blending in with the leather . ‘[832-ava] [I]2342-matt know [she]832-ava will , ’ [He]327-jesse smiles , turning [his]327-jesse green pools back to [Patrick]327-jesse . ‘[832-ava] If [you]1676-you give [me]2342-matt [your]1676-you company bank details , [I]2342-matt ’ll arrange an immediate bank transfer . [I]2342-matt ’ll also make an advanced payment on the next stage . It will save any future delays . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll get [Sally]54-victoria to note them down for [you]1676-you . ’ [Patrick]327-jesse leaves [us]3217-us , but [I]2342-matt do n’t relax . [Jesse]327-jesse sits back down in front of [me]2342-matt , [his]327-jesse irritatingly handsome face displaying an abundance of joy at [my]2342-matt nervousness . The full package ? Definitely pleasure ? [I]2342-matt should bash [him]327-jesse around the head with [my]2342-matt paper weight ! Dragging [myself]2342-matt out of [my]2342-matt dumbstruck state , [I]2342-matt shift all of the drawings that are littering [my]2342-matt desk and pull [my]2342-matt diary over . ‘[2342-matt] When are [you]1676-you free ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt sound highly unprofessional and terse , but [I]2342-matt do n’t care . [He]2342-matt ’s taking [his]2342-matt power trip too far now . ‘[2342-matt] When are [you]1676-you ? ’ [I]2342-matt look up , finding a green , satisfied stare . [I]2342-matt lean in . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not talking to [you]1676-you . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt spit , rather immaturely . ‘ What about screaming for [me]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt eyes widen in shock . ‘ Neither . ’[2342-matt] ‘ That may make business a little tricky . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt pouts , [his]2342-matt lips dancing at the corners . ‘ Will it be business , [Mr Ward]327-jesse , or pleasure ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Pleasure , all the way . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt answers darkly . ‘ [You]1676-you do realise that [you]1676-you ’re[2342-matt] paying for [me]2342-matt to have sex with [you]1676-you , ’ [I]2342-matt whisper on a hiss . ‘[2342-matt] That , in effect , makes [me]2342-matt a hooker ! ’ [I]832-ava watch as a flash of anger passes over [his]2342-matt face and [he]2342-matt shoots forward in [his]2342-matt chair . ‘[832-ava] Shut up , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]2342-matt warns . ‘[832-ava] And just so [you]1676-you know , [you]1676-you will be screaming later , ’ [He]2342-matt leans back again . ‘[832-ava] When [we]1678-we make [friends]2512-friends , ’ [I]2512-friends sigh heavily . It would be better , all - round , if [I]2512-friends dropped this contract , right now . [Patrick]327-jesse will keel over with shock , but either way , [I]2512-friends ’m[2512-friends] totally knackered . Continue like this , [I]2342-matt ’m bound to be rumbled . Then [he]327-jesse really will get to fuck [me]2342-matt when [he]327-jesse pleases . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] losing control here . Losing control ? [I]2342-matt laugh to [myself]2342-matt . Have [I]2342-matt ever had control since [this beautiful man]327-jesse trampled into [my]2342-matt life ? ‘ Is something funny ? ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse asks seriously . [I]2342-matt make a meal of flicking though the pages of [my]2342-matt diary harshly . ‘ Yes , [my]2342-matt life , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mutter . ‘ When shall [I]2342-matt pencil [you]2342-matt in ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]327-jesse do n’t want to be pencilled in anywhere , pencil can be erased . ’[327-jesse] [His]327-jesse tone is smooth and confident . [I]2342-matt look up from [my]2342-matt diary and find a large , permanent , black marker pen being waved under [my]2342-matt nose . ‘ Every day . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse states calmly . ‘ Every day ? Do n’t be so stupid ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blurt a bit too loudly . [He]327-jesse gives [me]2342-matt [his]327-jesse roguish grin as [he]327-jesse removes the lid from the marker . Reaching over , making a point of brushing [his]327-jesse fingers over [my]2342-matt hand , [he]327-jesse pulls [my]2342-matt diary away from [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt shiver , and [he]327-jesse gives [me]2342-matt that knowing look . Turning to tomorrow ’s page in [my]2342-matt diary , [he]327-jesse coolly runs a line through the middle , writing “ [Mr Ward]327-jesse ” across the page in big , black letters . [He]327-jesse then skims past the weekend . ‘ [You]327-jesse ’re[2342-matt] [mine]2342-matt then , anyway . ’ [he]327-jesse muses to [himself]327-jesse . What ? Am [I]2342-matt ? Who says ? [He]327-jesse arrives at Monday ’s page and finds [my]2342-matt ten o’clock appointment with [Mrs Kent]86-mrs kent . Locating an eraser from [my]2342-matt desk tidy , [he]327-jesse slowly rubs it out , looking up at [me]2342-matt when [he]327-jesse leans down to blow the fragments of rubber from the page . [He]327-jesse ’s really enjoying this , while [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sat back in [my]2342-matt chair watching [him]327-jesse trample all over [my]2342-matt work diary , at the same time trying to gage how serious [he]327-jesse is . [I]2342-matt fear [he]327-jesse ’s completely serious . [He]327-jesse proceeds to put a big , black line through Monday as well . What is [he]327-jesse doing ? [I]2342-matt glance around [the office]279-the office , noticing [[my]2342-matt colleagues]437-my colleagues have got bored of [the Jesse]327-jesse and [Ava]832-ava show , knuckling down with some work instead . ‘ What are [you]1683-you doing ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask calmly . [He]327-jesse pauses , looking up at [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] making [my]2342-matt appointments . ’ ‘[1683-you] [You]1683-you ’re not happy enough controlling the social aspect of [my]2342-matt life ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m surprised at how calm [I]2342-matt sound . [I]2342-matt feel completely ram raided . [This man]327-jesse has untold front and confidence . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt thought [you]1683-you did n’t make appointments to fuck [me]2342-matt ? ’ ‘[1683-you] Watch [your]1683-you mouth , ’ [he]327-jesse cautions [me]1683-you . ‘[1683-you] [I]2342-matt ’ve told [you]1683-you before , [Ava]832-ava . [I]2342-matt ’ll do whatever it takes . ’ ‘[2342-matt] For what ? ’ [My]2342-matt voice is barely a whisper . ‘[2342-matt] To keep [you]1683-you , ’ [He]327-jesse wants to keep [me]2342-matt ? What ? For sex or more ? [I]2342-matt do n’t ask that , though . ‘[2342-matt] What if [I]2342-matt do n’t want to be kept ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask instead . ‘[2342-matt] But [you]1683-you do , by [me]2342-matt . This is why [I]2342-matt ’m having such a hard time trying to figure out why [you]1683-you keep fighting [me]1684-he off . ’[1684-he] [He]1684-he returns [his]1684-he attention to [my]2342-matt diary and sets about putting a line through every day for the rest of the academic year . When [he]1684-he reaches the end , [he]1684-he slams it shut and stands . [His]1684-he confidence knows no bounds . And how does [he]1684-he know [I]2342-matt want to be kept by [him]1684-he ? Maybe , [I]2342-matt do n’t . [Christ]72-jesus , [I]2342-matt ’m trying to lie to [myself]72-jesus now . [I]72-jesus ’m[72-jesus] going to have to buy a new dairy . [I]2342-matt mentally applaud [myself]2342-matt for backing up [my]2342-matt appointments on [my]2342-matt email calendar , a precautionary measure in case [I]2342-matt lost [my]2342-matt diary , not because [some unreasonable control freak]1685-some unreasonable control freak might erase [them]1685-some unreasonable control freak all from [[my]2342-matt planner]1686-my planner . ‘ What time will [you]1684-he be finished work ? ’[1684-he] [he]1684-he asks . ‘ Six - ish , ’[1684-he] [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [I]2342-matt ’ve just answered that without a second ’s hesitation . ‘ -ish , ’[1684-he] [he]1684-he mouths , putting [his]1684-he hand out over [my]2342-matt desk . [He]1684-he wants [me]2342-matt to shake [his]1684-he hand ? [I]2342-matt reach up , mentally demanding [my]2342-matt hand not to tremble , and place it gently in [his]1684-he . The familiar fizzle flies through [me]2342-matt when [our]1687-our hands connect , [his]1684-he fingers brushing gently over [my]2342-matt wrist as [he]1684-he slowly strokes down the centre of [my]2342-matt palm . [My]2342-matt eyes fly up to [his]1684-he . ‘ See ? ’[1684-he] [he]1684-he whispers , before pulling away and striding out of [[my]2342-matt office]1011-my office , collecting an envelope from [Sally]54-victoria ’s outstretched hand on the way . Holy fucking hell ! [My]2342-matt heart is convulsing in [my]2342-matt chest , and [I]2342-matt ’m breaking out in an uncomfortable sweat as [I]2342-matt sit at [my]2342-matt desk , frantically fanning [my]2342-matt burning face with [my]2342-matt coffee coaster . How does [he]1684-he do these things to [me]2342-matt ? [Tom]60-tom looks over at [me]2342-matt with wide eyes and a whoa stare . [I]2342-matt blow out a long , lung full of air in an attempt to regulate [my]2342-matt hammering heart . [He]1684-he wants to keep [me]2342-matt ? What ? Keep [me]2342-matt and control [me]2342-matt , keep [me]2342-matt to love [me]2342-matt or keep [me]2342-matt to fuck [me]2342-matt senseless ? [He]1684-he ’s already fucked [me]2342-matt pretty senseless . [He]1684-he must have , because [I]2342-matt keep going back for more . No , [I]2342-matt do n’t keep going back . [I]2342-matt keep getting forced back . Is [he]1684-he forcing [me]2342-matt , or do [I]2342-matt go willingly ? Oh , [I]2342-matt do n’t even know anymore . Oh Lord , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] a fucking mess ! [I]2342-matt start folding away [my]2342-matt drawings of [The Life Building]2829-the life building before pulling [my]2342-matt email calendar up so [I]2342-matt can start transferring [my]2342-matt appointments back into [my]2342-matt diary . Oh , [I]2342-matt ’m in some major deep shit . But [he]1690-him ’s totally right ... [I]2342-matt do want to be kept by [him]1690-him . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] completely addicted . [I]2342-matt need [him]1690-him . Chapter 28 [I]2342-matt ’m the last to leave [the office]390-the building . [I]2342-matt set the alarm , lock the office door behind [me]2342-matt and jump out of [my]2342-matt skin when [I]2342-matt hear the familiar scream of a high powered engine . [I]2342-matt turn around , seeing [Jesse]327-jesse pull up to the kerb on [his]327-jesse bike . [I]2342-matt sigh , [my]2342-matt shoulders slumping dramatically . [I]2342-matt do n’t even know if [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] pissed anymore . Mental exhaustion has engulfed [me]2342-matt . But [I]2342-matt do know that [I]2342-matt ’m grateful [Patrick]327-jesse has already left [the building]390-the building . [He]327-jesse takes [his]327-jesse helmet off , dismounts from [his]327-jesse bike and approaches [me]2342-matt looking like [he]327-jesse ’s had a perfectly normal day . [I]2342-matt feel defeated as [I]2342-matt look up at [him]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] Good day at work ? ’ [he]327-jesse asks . [I]2342-matt gape . [He]327-jesse ’s so thick skinned . ‘[2342-matt] Not really . ’ [I]2342-matt answer on a frown , [my]2342-matt tone dripping with sarcasm . [He]327-jesse observes [me]2342-matt for a while , chewing [his]327-jesse bottom lip , the cogs kicking into action . [I]2342-matt hope [he]327-jesse ’s thinking about how unreasonable [he]327-jesse ’s been . ‘[2342-matt] Can [I]2342-matt make it better ? ’ [he]327-jesse asks as [he]327-jesse reaches for [my]2342-matt arm and slides [his]327-jesse warm palm down until [he]327-jesse ’s clasping [my]2342-matt hand . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know , can [you]2342-matt ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt definitely can . ’ [He]327-jesse smiles , and [I]2342-matt drop [my]2342-matt head . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll always make it better , remember that . ’ [he]327-jesse adds confidently . [I]2342-matt give [myself]2342-matt whiplash when [I]2342-matt snap [my]2342-matt head up to look at [him]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] But [you]2342-matt made it shitty in the first place ! ’ [He]327-jesse pouts , hanging [his]327-jesse head . [I]2342-matt think [he]327-jesse ’s ashamed . Good . [He]327-jesse should be . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ca n’t help it . ’ [He]327-jesse shrugs guiltily . ‘[2342-matt] Of course [you]2342-matt can ! ’ [I]2342-matt exclaim . ‘[2342-matt] No , with [you]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt ca n’t help it , ’ [he]327-jesse states in a matter - of - fact tone – a tone that suggests [he]327-jesse completely gets it . [I]2342-matt , however , never will . ‘[2342-matt] Come here . ’ [He]327-jesse pulls [me]2342-matt over to [his]327-jesse bike and presents [me]2342-matt with a large paper bag . ‘[2342-matt] What ’s this ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask , looking into the bag . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt ’ll need [them]1691-them . ’ [He]327-jesse reaches into the bag and pulls out a pile of black leather . Oh , no ! ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , [I]2342-matt ’m not getting on that thing . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse ignores [me]2342-matt , unfolding the trousers and kneeling in front of [me]2342-matt , holding them open for [me]2342-matt to step into . [He]327-jesse taps [my]2342-matt ankle . ‘ On . ’[327-jesse] ‘ No ! ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse can give [me]2342-matt a sense fuck or the countdown all [he]327-jesse likes – it ’s not happening . No way . Hell will freeze over . [He]327-jesse ’s trampled all over [my]2342-matt day , and now [he]327-jesse wants to kill [me]2342-matt on that death trap ? [He]327-jesse heaves a tired breath and rises to [his]327-jesse feet . ‘ Listen to [me]327-jesse , [lady]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse cups [my]2342-matt cheek with [his]327-jesse palm . ‘ Do [you]327-jesse honestly think [I]327-jesse would let anything happen to [you]327-jesse ? ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt look at [his]327-jesse soft eyes , clearly trying to reassure [me]2342-matt . No , [I]2342-matt do n’t think [he]327-jesse would let anything happen to [me]2342-matt , but what about all of the other road users ? [They]1692-they do n’t give a toss about little old [me]2342-matt on the back of [that death trap]1612-that death trap . [I]2342-matt ’ll fall off , [I]2342-matt know it . ‘ [They]1692-they scare [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt admit . [I]2342-matt ’m such [a baby]3219-a baby . [He]327-jesse bends down , getting nose to nose with [me]2342-matt , [his]327-jesse minty breath soothing [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Do [you]2342-matt trust [me]2342-matt ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Yes . ’ [I]2342-matt answer immediately . [I]2342-matt trust [him]327-jesse with [my]2342-matt life . It ’s [my]2342-matt sanity [I]2342-matt do n’t trust [him]327-jesse with . [He]327-jesse nods , dropping a kiss on the end of [my]2342-matt nose before kneeling back down in front of [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt lift [my]2342-matt foot when [he]327-jesse taps [my]2342-matt ankle , [my]2342-matt heart flickering with nervousness as [he]327-jesse removes [my]2342-matt ballet pumps , feeds [my]2342-matt feet into the trousers and pulls the leathers up [my]2342-matt body , fastening them swiftly . Next , [he]327-jesse collects a fitted , leather jacket and takes [my]2342-matt bag before putting the jacket on [me]2342-matt , followed by a pair of boots . ‘[2342-matt] Take the pins out [your]1694-your hair . ’ [he]327-jesse orders , putting [my]1695-he pumps and [my]1695-he new taboo dress in [my]1695-he oversized work bag . [I]1695-he ’m[1695-he] surprised [he]1695-he did n’t throw it to the ground and trample all over it . [I]2342-matt reach up and start removing [my]2342-matt grips . ‘ Where are [your]1694-your leathers ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]1695-he do n’t need [them]3220-them . ’[1695-he] ‘ Why , are [you]1694-your indestructible ? ’[1695-he] [He]1695-he holds the helmet above [my]2342-matt head . ‘ No , [lady]65-ha , self - destructible . ’[1695-he] Huh ? ‘ What does that mean ? ’[1695-he] ‘ Nothing , ’[1695-he] [He]1695-he dismisses [my]2342-matt question and pushes the helmet onto [my]2342-matt head , effectively shutting [me]2342-matt up . [He]1695-he starts adjusting the chin strap , leaving [me]2342-matt feeling like [my]2342-matt head ’s been squeezed into a condom . [I]2342-matt flex [my]2342-matt neck from side to side , and [he]1695-he flips the visor up . ‘ [You]1695-he should wear protective clothing . ’[1695-he] [I]2342-matt admonish [him]1695-he . ‘ [You]1695-he ’re[2342-matt] making [me]2342-matt . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not prepared to take any risks with [you]1695-he . Anyway ... ’[1695-he] [He]1695-he smacks [my]2342-matt arse , ‘ [you]1695-he look fucking hot . ’[1695-he] [He]1695-he lengthens the strap on [my]2342-matt bag , putting it across [my]2342-matt body and around [my]2342-matt back . ‘ When [I]1695-he ’m[1695-he] on , put [your]1696-your left foot on the peg and swing [your]1696-your right leg over , okay ? ’ [I]2342-matt nod , and [he]1695-he puts [his]1695-he own helmet on . [I]2342-matt watch , admiringly as [he]1695-he swings [his]1695-he long leg over , starts [the bike]1613-the bike and stands it up between [his]1695-he powerful thighs . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] shitting [myself]2342-matt . [He]1695-he looks at [me]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt stand on [the pavement]2745-the pavement and nods [his]1695-he instruction for [me]2342-matt to climb on . [I]2342-matt reluctantly step forward , place [my]2342-matt hand on [his]1695-he shoulder and follow through on [his]1695-he instructions , vaulting [my]2342-matt right leg over , soon finding [myself]2342-matt straddling [his]1695-he waist . ‘ [I]1695-he feel too high . ’[1695-he] [He]1695-he turns [his]1695-he head . ‘ [You]1698-your ’re[1695-he] fine . Now , hold on around [my]2342-matt waist but not too tight . When [I]2342-matt lean , gently lean with [me]2342-matt and do n’t put [your]1698-your feet down when [I]2342-matt stop . Keep them on the pegs . Clear ? ’ [I]2342-matt nod . ‘[2342-matt] Okay . ’ Oh shit , what am [I]2342-matt doing ? ‘[2342-matt] Put [your]1698-your visor down . ’ [he]1695-he orders , flipping [his]1695-he own into position . [I]2342-matt do as [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] bid and lean forward , hugging [my]2342-matt arms around [his]1695-he chest and squeezing [my]2342-matt knees on either side of [his]1695-he hips . [I]2342-matt feel like [a national hunt jockey]1699-a national hunt jockey . [My]2342-matt nerves are all over [the place]308-the place , but there ’s a little excitement lingering somewhere . The vibrations of the engine travel through [me]2342-matt as [Jesse]327-jesse revs the engine , backing onto [the road]2482-the road with [his]327-jesse feet . Then slowly and smoothly , [he]327-jesse pulls into the traffic . [My]2342-matt heart is hammering in [my]2342-matt chest , [my]2342-matt thighs gripping [his]327-jesse hips stupidly hard . [I]2342-matt loosen [my]2342-matt clench slightly when [my]2342-matt arms and legs begin to ache . [I]2342-matt ’m not ignorant to the fact that [he]327-jesse ’s obviously taking it easy with [me]2342-matt on board , and [I]2342-matt love [him]327-jesse all the more for it . [He]327-jesse brakes lightly , takes corners smoothly and [I]2342-matt find [myself]2342-matt naturally mimicking the bikes movements . [I]2342-matt love it . This is a complete surprise ; [I]2342-matt ’ve always hated motorbikes . As [we]3223-we break the city limits , [I]2342-matt have no idea where [we]3223-we ’re[2342-matt] going , but [I]2342-matt do n’t care . [My]2342-matt arms and legs are wrapped around [my]2342-matt solid hunk of male , and with the rush on air speeding past [me]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt feel completely exhilarated . Until [I]2342-matt recognise [the road leading to [The Manor]2356-the manor]1702-the road leading to the manor . [My]2342-matt joy instantly dampens . After the day [I]2342-matt ’ve had , it would be just perfect for it to end on a helping of old pouty lips . [I]2342-matt give [myself]2342-matt a mental pep talk , telling [myself]2342-matt to rise above [her]1704-her obvious jealousy and bitterness . What [I]2342-matt would like to know most , though , is why [she]1704-her ’s behaving like this ? Has [Jesse]327-jesse had a relationship with [her]1704-her ? The iron gates at the entrance of [the grounds]1705-the grounds open as [Jesse]327-jesse pulls off of [the main road]294-the main road and proceeds down [the gravel driveway]2402-the gravel driveway to [The Manor]2356-the manor , braking gently until [we]1708-we come to a stop . [He]327-jesse flips [his]327-jesse visor up . ‘ Off [you]3224-you get . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt swing [my]2342-matt leg over , rather elegantly , and land on the gravel to the side of [the bike]1613-the bike . [Jesse]327-jesse kicks the stand down and shuts [the bike]1613-the bike off before dismounting with complete ease and taking [his]327-jesse helmet off , [his]327-jesse blonde hair all rough and dishevelled from the friction . [He]327-jesse runs [his]327-jesse hands through it and places [his]327-jesse helmet on the seat before taking [mine]2342-matt off . [He]327-jesse looks at [me]2342-matt hesitantly when [my]2342-matt face is revealed . [He]327-jesse ’s worried [I]2342-matt did n’t like it . [I]2342-matt grin , launching [myself]2342-matt at [him]327-jesse , wrapping [my]2342-matt legs around [his]327-jesse waist and [my]2342-matt arms around [his]327-jesse neck . [He]327-jesse laughs . ‘ There ’s that grin . Did [you]327-jesse enjoy that ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse holds [me]2342-matt with one arm , placing [my]2342-matt helmet next to [his]327-jesse , then clasps [me]2342-matt with both hands . [I]2342-matt lean back to get [his]327-jesse face in [my]2342-matt line of vision . ‘ [I]2342-matt want one . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Forget it ! Not a fucking chance in Hell . Never , no way , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse shakes [his]327-jesse head , [his]327-jesse expression pure dread . ‘ Only ever with [me]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] ‘ [I]2342-matt loved it . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt tighten [my]2342-matt grip around [his]327-jesse neck , pulling [myself]2342-matt back into [him]327-jesse and lowering [my]2342-matt lips to [his]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse moans approvingly as [I]2342-matt coax [his]327-jesse mouth open , landing [him]327-jesse with a deep , moist and passionate kiss . ‘ Thank [you]65-ha . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse bites lightly on [my]2342-matt bottom lip . ‘ Hmmm . [You]65-ha ’re[65-ha] more than welcome , [baby]65-ha . ’ [I]65-ha ’ve completely lost sight of [my]65-ha doubts . When [he]327-jesse ’s like this , it kind of trumps [his]327-jesse unreasonable , controlling ways . It ’s crazy . ‘[65-ha] Why are [we]1711-we here ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . [I]2342-matt ca n’t help the pang of disappointment at ending [my]2342-matt amazing bike ride at [The Manor]2356-the manor . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve got a few things to sort out . [You]1712-you can have something to eat while [we]1711-we ’re [here]281-home . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse lowers [me]2342-matt to the ground . ‘ Then [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] taking [you]1712-you [home]281-home , [lady]65-ha . ’ [He]327-jesse brushes [my]65-ha hair from [my]65-ha face . ‘[65-ha] [I]2342-matt ’ve got nothing with [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]1914-sam ’ll need to shoot [home]281-home and pick some things up . ‘[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam ’s here . [He]1914-sam brought some of [your]1712-you stuff from [Kate]2557-kate ’s . ’ [He]1914-sam grabs [my]1914-sam hand , pulling [me]1914-sam towards [The Manor]2356-the manor . [Sam]1914-sam brought [my]1914-sam stuff ? That was very forward thinking of [him]1914-sam . Oh , please tell [me]1914-sam that [Kate]2557-kate packed it . The thought of [Sam]1914-sam ’s cheeky grin as [he]1914-sam ploughs through [my]1914-sam underwear drawer has [me]1914-sam blushing on the spot . [Jesse]327-jesse leads [me]1914-sam up the steps , through the doors into [the entrance hall]356-the entrance hall . It sounds busy tonight , with laughter and chatter coming from [the restaurant]1284-the restaurant and [bar]3229-bar . [We]1714-we bypass both , heading straight for [[Jesse]327-jesse ’s office]3230-jesse ’s office . [I]1914-sam ’m[1914-sam] relieved . Avoiding a certain acid tongued pout is top of [my]2342-matt list of things to achieve this evening . As [we]1714-we pass through [the summer room]2350-the room , [a few groups of [people]372-people]1716-the women are gathered , relaxing on the plush sofas , drinks in hand . [I]2342-matt ’m not ignorant to the fact that all conversation halts as soon as [they]1716-the women spot [us]1714-we . [The men]1716-the women raise [their]1716-the women drinks , and [the women]1716-the women smooth [their]1716-the women hair , straighten [their]1716-the women backs and plaster ridiculous smiles on [their]1716-the women faces . The smiles soon disappear when [they]1716-the women direct [their]1716-the women stares on [me]2342-matt , fully clad in leather , being pulled behind [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt feel scrutinised . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] placing [my]2342-matt bets that [The Manor]2356-the manor is not [every female]1719-every female ’s preference simply because of [the luxurious accommodation]1720-the luxurious accommodation and surroundings . ‘ Good evening . ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse nods as [we]1721-we pass swiftly . A chorus of greetings flood [my]2342-matt ears , all of the men acknowledging [me]2342-matt with a smile or a nod , but [all of [the women]1716-the women]1716-the women throwing suspicious glares . [I]2342-matt feel like public enemy number one . What ’s [their]1716-the women problem ? ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse , ’[1716-the women] [I]2342-matt hear [Big John]832-ava ’s low rumble up ahead . [I]2342-matt drag [my]2342-matt eyes from [the crowd of [angry women]1724-angry women]1723-the crowd of angry women , giving [me]2342-matt the once over , to find [John]832-ava coming out of [[Jesse]327-jesse ’s office]279-the office . [He]832-ava nods at [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt find [myself]2342-matt nodding back . What role does [he]832-ava play here ? [He]832-ava looks like [the mafia personified]1726-the mafia personified . ‘ Any problems ? ’[832-ava] [Jesse]327-jesse asks , leading [me]2342-matt into [[his]327-jesse office]279-the office . [John]832-ava follows and shuts the door behind [him]832-ava . ‘ Small issue in [the communal room]1727-a communal room , now resolved . ’[832-ava] [His]327-jesse deep voice is monotone . ‘ [Someone]587-someone got a bit excited . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt frown , looking at [Jesse]327-jesse . What ’s [a communal room]1727-a communal room ? [I]2342-matt see [Jesse]327-jesse mildly shake [his]327-jesse head at [John]832-ava before flicking cautious eyes to [me]2342-matt . ‘ S’all good , [I]327-jesse ’ll be in [the surveillance suite]3232-the surveillance suite . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse turns and leaves . ‘ What ’s [a communal room]1727-a communal room ? ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt ca n’t keep the interest from [my]2342-matt tone . [I]2342-matt ’ve never heard of such a thing . [He]327-jesse yanks [me]2342-matt towards [him]327-jesse by the collar of [my]2342-matt leather jacket and removes [my]2342-matt bag , taking [my]2342-matt mouth possessively , completely distracting [me]2342-matt from [my]2342-matt question . ‘ [I]327-jesse like [you]327-jesse in leather , ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse muses as [he]327-jesse unzips the jacket , pushing it down [my]2342-matt arms slowly and chucking it on the sofa . ‘ But [I]327-jesse love [you]327-jesse in lace . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse undoes the zipper of the leather trousers as [he]327-jesse circles [my]2342-matt nose with [his]327-jesse . ‘ Always in lace , ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt watch [his]327-jesse hands work the fastener , [my]2342-matt pulse quickening . ‘ [I]2342-matt thought [you]327-jesse have work to do . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt whisper . [He]327-jesse picks [me]2342-matt up , walks [me]2342-matt over to [his]327-jesse big desk and places [me]2342-matt on the edge . Both boots are removed and tossed on the sofa before [he]327-jesse bends down , braces [his]327-jesse hands on the edge and leans forward so [our]1728-our faces are close . [His]327-jesse green pools of lust are penetrating [me]2342-matt . ‘ It can wait . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse snakes [his]327-jesse arm around [my]2342-matt waist and lowers [me]2342-matt to the desk surface . ‘ [You]327-jesse drive [me]327-jesse crazy , [lady]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse says , reaching down and unbuttoning [my]2342-matt white shirt as [he]327-jesse stands between [my]2342-matt open thighs . ‘ [You]327-jesse drive [me]327-jesse crazy . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt breathe , arching [my]2342-matt back when [his]327-jesse hot touch skims [my]2342-matt breast bone . [He]327-jesse smiles darkly at [me]2342-matt . ‘ So , [we]3233-we ’re[327-jesse] made for each other . ’ [He]327-jesse yanks the cups of [my]327-jesse bra down , running [his]327-jesse thumbs over [my]327-jesse nipples , sparking endless shots of pleasure throughout [me]327-jesse . [Our]3233-we eyes connect and lock . ‘[327-jesse] Probably , ’ [I]327-jesse agree . [I]327-jesse really want to be made for [him]327-jesse . ‘[327-jesse] Oh , there ’s no probably about it . ’ [He]327-jesse hooks [his]327-jesse forearm under [my]2512-friends waist and pulls [me]2512-friends up from the desk , resting [his]327-jesse mouth on [my]2512-friends throat . Circling [his]327-jesse tongue , [he]327-jesse works [his]327-jesse way up [my]2512-friends jaw bone . [I]2512-friends lace [my]2512-friends fingers through [his]327-jesse soft hair and exhale a contented lung full of air . Perfect . [We]3234-we ’re[2512-friends] making [friends]2512-friends . The office door flies open , and [Jesse]327-jesse yanks [me]2342-matt into [his]327-jesse chest protectively , and probably to conceal [me]2342-matt too . ‘ Oh , sorry . ’[327-jesse] ‘ For fucks sake , [Sarah]54-victoria ! Knock ! ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse yells . [I]2342-matt ’m secretly delighted at the tone [he]327-jesse ’s taken with [her]54-victoria . [I]1730-her might be half naked and sprawled across [his]327-jesse desk , but [Jesse]327-jesse is concealing [me]1730-her just fine . [He]327-jesse does n’t let [me]1730-her go as [he]327-jesse shifts slightly so [he]327-jesse can land [Sarah]54-victoria with a filthy look . [I]1730-her catch a glimpse of [her]1730-her in the doorway . [She]1730-her ’s wearing a red dress to match [her]1730-her lips , [her]1730-her sour face as plain as the obvious boob job . ‘[1730-her] Finally got [her]1730-her in leather then ? ’ [she]1730-her says on a sly smile , turning on [her]1730-her heels and leaving . The door shuts with a loud bang , and [Jesse]327-jesse rolls [his]327-jesse eyes in frustration . [I]1730-her do n’t think [I]1730-her ’ve ever disliked [someone]587-someone so much . ‘[1730-her] What did [she]1730-her mean ? ’ [I]1730-her ask , feeling like [I]1730-her ’m[1730-her] the butt of a private joke . ‘ Nothing , ignore [her]1730-her . [She]1730-her ’s trying to be funny . ’[1731-he] [he]1731-he grumbles . [His]1731-he mood has changed dramatically . Well , [I]2342-matt do n’t find [her]1730-her remotely funny , but [his]1731-he short , abrupt answer makes [me]2342-matt think twice about pushing it . Damn , [I]2342-matt want [him]1731-he to finish what [he]1731-he started . [I]2342-matt ’m lifted from the desk and placed [me]2342-matt on [my]2342-matt feet . Pulling the cups of [my]2342-matt bra back over [my]2342-matt breasts , [he]1731-he starts to button up [my]2342-matt shirt and peel the leathers down [my]2342-matt legs . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to look like a crumpled mess . [He]1731-he fetches [my]2342-matt bag from the floor , putting [my]2342-matt pumps at [my]2342-matt feet for [me]2342-matt to step into . [I]2342-matt start tucking [my]2342-matt shirt in , trying to make [myself]2342-matt more presentable , and watch as [Jesse]327-jesse takes a seat in [his]327-jesse huge , brown leather , swivel chair . [He]327-jesse ’s gone quiet . Resting [his]327-jesse elbows on the arms and letting [his]327-jesse fingertips meet in front of [his]327-jesse lips , [he]327-jesse watches [me]2342-matt thoughtfully as [I]2342-matt finish sorting [myself]2342-matt out . ‘ What ? ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt ask . [He]327-jesse looks deep in thought . What ’s [he]327-jesse thinking about ? ‘ Nothing . Are [you]2342-matt hungry ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shrug . ‘ -ish , ’[2342-matt] A smile tickles the corner of [his]327-jesse mouth . ‘ -ish . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse counters . ‘ The steak ’s good . Do [you]2342-matt want that ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt nod . Yes , [I]2342-matt could eat a little steak . [He]327-jesse picks up [his]327-jesse office phone and dials a few numbers . ‘ [Ava]832-ava would like the steak , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse puts the phone to [his]327-jesse shoulder . ‘ How do [you]2342-matt like [your]2342-matt steak ? ’[327-jesse] ‘ Medium , please , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse returns to the phone . ‘ Medium , with new potatoes and a salad . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse looks at [me]2342-matt with raised eyebrows . [I]2342-matt nod again . ‘ In [[my]327-jesse office]1011-my office … and bring some wine … [Zinfandel]161-zinfandel . That ’s all … yes … thank [you]2342-matt . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse hangs up and dials again . ‘ [John]832-ava … yes … [I’m]832-ava ready when [you]2342-matt are . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse hangs up before picking up again . ‘ [Sarah]54-victoria … fine , do n’t worry . Bring [me]327-jesse the latest attendance figures . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse puts the phone down again . ‘ Sit . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse points at the sofa in the window . Okay , [I]2342-matt ’m getting that uncomfortable feeling again , [my]2342-matt small appetite fading fast . Damn it , [I]2342-matt hate coming here . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt can go if [you]1732-you ’re busy . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse frowns , throwing [me]2342-matt a questioning look . ‘ No , sit . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt take [myself]2342-matt over to the sofa to settle [myself]2342-matt in the soft , brown leather . [I]2342-matt feel like a spare part , uncomfortable and awkward . With little else to do , [I]2342-matt watch as [Jesse]327-jesse flicks through various piles of paperwork , signing [here]314-here and there . [He]327-jesse ’s completely engrossed in what [he]327-jesse ’s doing . [He]327-jesse glances up every now and then , lobbing [me]2342-matt a reassuring smile , but it does little to ease [my]2342-matt discomfort . [I]2342-matt want to go . After twenty minutes , or so , of twiddling [my]2342-matt thumbs and wishing [he]327-jesse would hurry up , the door knocks and [Jesse]327-jesse calls an okay for whoever it is to enter . [Pete]185-pete walks in with a tray and follows [Jesse]327-jesse ’s pointed pen over to [me]2342-matt . ‘ Thank [you]185-pete , [Pete]185-pete . ’[185-pete] [I]2342-matt smile as [Pete]185-pete places the tray down in front of [me]2342-matt and hands [me]2342-matt some cutlery wrapped in a white , material napkin . ‘ [My]185-pete pleasure , can [I]185-pete open [your]185-pete wine ? ’[185-pete] ‘ No , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’ve got it . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse nods before leaving [the room]2350-the room quietly . [I]2342-matt remove the lid from the plate and a delicious smell invades [my]2342-matt nostrils , dragging [my]2342-matt appetite back . Unwrapping [my]2342-matt knife and folk , [I]2342-matt stab at [my]2342-matt separate bowl of salad , the most colourful [I]2342-matt ’ve ever seen – peppers of every colour , red onion and a dozen varieties of lettuce leaf , all drenched in infused oil . [I]2342-matt could eat this alone . It ’s wonderful . Crossing [my]2342-matt legs , [I]2342-matt place the tray on [my]2342-matt lap and slice into the steak , humming a satisfied moan around [my]2342-matt fork . [The Manor]2356-the manor does food very well . ‘ Good ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt feel [Jesse]327-jesse ’s chin resting on [my]2342-matt shoulder . ‘ Very , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mumble around [my]2342-matt steak . ‘ [You]2342-matt want to try ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt nods , opening [his]2342-matt mouth . [I]2342-matt slice a piece of steak and hold it over [my]2342-matt shoulder for [him]2342-matt to take . ‘ Hmmm , very good . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says around [his]2342-matt chew . ‘ More ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [His]2342-matt eyes widen in appreciation , so [I]2342-matt cut [him]2342-matt another piece , passing it over [my]2342-matt shoulder again . [He]2342-matt watches [me]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt wraps [his]2342-matt full lips around [my]2342-matt fork and slowly pulls the steak off . [I]2342-matt ca n’t help the big smile that breaks out across [my]2342-matt face . [His]2342-matt eyes sparkle with pleasure and [he]2342-matt struggles to prevent [his]2342-matt own smile as [he]2342-matt chews . [He]2342-matt clamps [his]2342-matt hands on [my]2342-matt shoulders and buries [his]2342-matt face in [my]2342-matt neck from behind . [He]2342-matt nips playfully at [my]2342-matt neck . ‘ [You]2342-matt taste better . ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt smile broadens as [he]2342-matt makes a meal of chewing at [my]2342-matt throat , growling and nuzzling to [his]2342-matt heart ’s content . [I]2342-matt laugh , raising [my]2342-matt shoulder when [he]2342-matt latches onto [my]2342-matt ear , [his]2342-matt hot breath causing shudders to course through [me]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt entices so many extreme reactions from [me]2342-matt – extreme frustration , extreme desire and extreme happiness are just a few . [This man]2342-matt works [me]2342-matt , and [he]2342-matt works [me]2342-matt well . ‘ [You]2342-matt eat , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says as [he]2342-matt kisses [my]2342-matt temple tenderly . [He]2342-matt starts circling [his]2342-matt thumbs into the top of [my]2342-matt back . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] tense . Why are [you]1736-you tense ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks . [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt neck in gratitude . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] tense because [I]2342-matt ’m here – it ’s the only reason . How can [one woman]3237-one woman make [me]2342-matt feel so uncomfortable ? There ’s a knock on [Jesse]327-jesse ’s office door . ‘[2342-matt] Yes ? ’ [He]2342-matt carries on working [my]2342-matt shoulders as [Sarah]54-victoria walks in . Ah , speak of [the devil]1136-the devil . The atmosphere instantly cools as [she]54-victoria clocks [Jesse]327-jesse massaging [my]2342-matt shoulders , [her]54-victoria facial expression altering significantly . [I]2342-matt notice it , but [Jesse]327-jesse seems oblivious to the chilly undertones of [her]54-victoria presence . [I]2342-matt tense further , suddenly wanting [Jesse]327-jesse ’s hands off of [me]2342-matt . That ’s something [I]2342-matt never thought [I]2342-matt would want . But right now , [I]2342-matt feel like an impostor , and the icy glare [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] getting thrown at [me]2342-matt has [me]2342-matt shifting uncomfortably in [my]2342-matt seat . [I]2342-matt ’m really not helping [my]1737-my cause , sat [here]314-here , legs crossed , all cosy on the sofa , with a steak in [my]1737-my lap and [Mr Godly]223-mr godly working [his]223-mr godly magic on [me]1737-my . ‘[1737-my] [Your]1737-my figures , ’ [she]54-victoria grumbles , waving the folder and walking casually over to [[Jesse]327-jesse ’s desk]3240-jesse ’s desk to place them in front of [his]327-jesse chair . [She]54-victoria turns to face [us]3241-us , throwing daggers at [me]54-victoria . Oh , [she]54-victoria really hates [me]54-victoria . ‘[54-victoria] Thanks , [Sarah]54-victoria . ’ [He]327-jesse leans down and brushes [his]327-jesse lips over [my]54-victoria cheek , inhaling deeply before releasing [me]54-victoria . ‘[54-victoria] [I]2342-matt have to work now , [baby]832-ava . Eat [your]1737-my dinner . ’ [I]54-victoria see [Sarah]54-victoria scowl briefly before reinstating the fake smile on [her]54-victoria pouty face when [Jesse]327-jesse turns towards [her]54-victoria . [He]327-jesse reaches into [his]327-jesse jean pocket . ‘[54-victoria] Have one hundred thousand transferred into this account [ASAP]224-asap . ’ [he]327-jesse instructs , handing [her]54-victoria an envelope . ‘[224-asap] One hundred ? ’ [Sarah]54-victoria blurts . [She]54-victoria glances down at the envelope . ‘[224-asap] Yes . Now , please . ’ [He]327-jesse leaves [her]54-victoria staring at the paper , taking [his]327-jesse seat up behind [his]327-jesse desk , completely ignorant to [her]54-victoria gaping mouth . [She]54-victoria flicks [me]1739-i a murderous look . It ’s then [I]1739-i realise that it ’s the envelope [Sally]54-victoria gave [him]327-jesse . One hundred thousand ? That ’s way too much . What ’s [he]327-jesse thinking ? [I]1739-i want to say something . Should [I]1739-i say something ? [I]1739-i look at [Sarah]54-victoria . [She]54-victoria ’s stood there scrutinising [me]1739-i , pursing [her]54-victoria red lips . [I]1739-i do n’t blame [her]54-victoria . [I]1739-i just want to crawl under the sofa and die . One hundred thousand ? Christ , [she]54-victoria already thinks [I]1739-i ’m[1739-i] after [his]1739-i money . ‘ That ’s all , [Sarah]54-victoria . ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse dismisses [her]1740-her and [she]1740-her turns to leave , but not before throwing a scowl in [my]2342-matt direction . [She]1740-her saunters over to the door , meeting [John]832-ava at the threshold . [He]832-ava nods at [her]1740-her before moving to the side to let [her]1740-her pass , shutting the door behind [her]1740-her . [He]832-ava flicks [me]2342-matt a nod , and [I]2342-matt smile before resuming the picking of [my]2342-matt salad and steak . Yeah , [my]2342-matt appetite has run for [the hills]1741-the hills . [I]2342-matt need to speak to [him]832-ava and ask what role [that woman]792-that woman plays in [his]832-ava life . And why does [she]792-that woman hate [me]2342-matt so much ? [I]2342-matt place the tray back on the coffee table to pour some wine , but [I]2342-matt notice [Pete]185-pete ’s only brought one glass , so [I]2342-matt take [myself]2342-matt over to the side board , collect a tumbler for [myself]2342-matt and return to the sofa to pour the wine . When [I]2342-matt place the glass on [Jesse]327-jesse ’s desk , [John]832-ava stops talking and [they]1743-they both look at the glass , then to [me]2342-matt . [Jesse]327-jesse picks it up , handing it back to [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] fine , thank [you]832-ava , [baby]832-ava , ’ [He]832-ava smiles . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m driving . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Oh , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt take the glass back . ‘ Sorry . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Do n’t be , [you]832-ava have it . [I]2342-matt got the wine for [you]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt take [my]2342-matt place on the sofa , picking up a magazine called SuperBike . It ’s the only one so it will have to do . [I]2342-matt start flicking through , loosing [myself]2342-matt in the articles on superbikes , [MotoGP]225-motogp and getting [myself]2342-matt over excited when [I]2342-matt find a section especially devoted to [superbike passengers]1744-superbike passengers or riding pillion , as [I]2342-matt now know it to be termed . Is [Jesse]327-jesse ’s a superbike ? [I]2342-matt read the rules of riding pillion , along with an article entitled “ Safety First ” . [I]2342-matt ’ll make [him]327-jesse wear leathers , if it ’s the last thing [I]2342-matt do . [I]2342-matt ’m completely lost in details of four - stroke engines , horsepower ratings and the approaching Milan Motorcycle show , when [I]2342-matt feel warm hands wrap around [my]2342-matt neck from behind . [I]2342-matt drop [my]2342-matt head back to look at [his]327-jesse upside down features . [He]327-jesse blesses [me]2342-matt with [his]327-jesse roguish grin . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve started something , have n’t [I]2342-matt ? ’ [He]327-jesse bends and drops [his]327-jesse lips onto [my]2342-matt forehead . ‘[2342-matt] Why have n’t [you]2342-matt upgraded to the 1198 ? ’ [He]327-jesse smiles . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt have , but [I]2342-matt prefer the 1098 . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Oh , how many do [you]2342-matt have ? ’ ‘[226-twelve] [Twelve]226-twelve . ’ ‘[226-twelve] Twelve ? Are [they]1745-they all superbikes ? ’ [He]327-jesse laughs lightly . ‘[832-ava] Yes , [Ava]832-ava , [they]1745-they ’re all superbikes . Come on , [I]1745-they ’m[1745-they] taking [you]2342-matt [home]281-home . ’ [I]2342-matt place the magazine back on the table and begin to unravel [my]2342-matt folded body . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt know , [you]2342-matt should be wearing leathers . ’ [I]2342-matt push casually . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt should . ’ [He]2342-matt takes [my]2342-matt hand , leading [me]2342-matt to the door . ‘[2342-matt] So , why do n’t [you]2342-matt ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve rode bikes since [I]2342-matt … ’ [He]2342-matt halts mid - sentence and glances down at [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] For many years , ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt ’re going to have to reveal an age at some point . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt looks at [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt smile brightly , earning [myself]2342-matt a return beam for [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘ Maybe . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says quietly . If [he]2342-matt ’s rode [bikes]1747-bikes for years , then [he]2342-matt should appreciate the dangers . [We]1748-we walk through [The Manor]2356-the manor , finding [Sam]1914-sam and [Drew]327-jesse at [the bar]361-the bar . [Sam]1914-sam ’s obviously not seeing [Kate]2557-kate tonight . [He]2342-matt looks [his]2342-matt usual self , as does [Drew]327-jesse , with [his]2342-matt black suit and perfectly placed black hair . ‘ [[My]1914-sam man]2342-matt ! ’[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam cheers . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt love [[your]832-ava Little Miss knickers]3242-your little miss knickers . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt hands [me]2342-matt a familiar gym bag . [I]2342-matt die a thousand deaths on the spot . [He]2342-matt went through [my]2342-matt underwear drawer ? The cheeky swine ! Feeling [my]2342-matt face flame , [I]2342-matt glance up at [Jesse]327-jesse to see anger pouring from [his]2342-matt entire being . Oh , [Sam]1914-sam ! ‘ Do n’t push [your]1914-sam fucking luck , [Sam]1914-sam . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt warns , [his]2342-matt tone super serious . [Sam]1914-sam ’s grin fades as [he]2342-matt puts [his]2342-matt hands up in submission . [Drew]327-jesse exhales , shaking [his]2342-matt head and placing [his]2342-matt beer on [the bar]361-the bar . ‘ There ’s a line , [Sam]1914-sam . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says in agreement to [Jesse]327-jesse ’s reaction towards [Sam]1914-sam ’s inappropriate comment . ‘ Hey , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sorry . ’ [Sam]1914-sam grumbles , looking at [me]2342-matt with a hint of a grin breaking free . [I]2342-matt glance around [the bar]361-the bar . It ’s really busy . There are plenty of [people milling about]3243-people milling about , all chatting , many putting [their]3243-people milling about hand up in acknowledgment to [Jesse]327-jesse , but [none of [them]1753-these admirers]2488-none of them approach [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt feel the same animosity from [the women in here]3245-the women in here as [I]2342-matt did in [the summer room]2350-the room . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] seriously stepping on some toes by being [here]314-here . Is [Jesse]327-jesse aware of all [these admirers]1753-these admirers ? [I]2342-matt feel like [I]2342-matt ’ve poached [him]327-jesse . And now [I]2342-matt ’m certain that the repeat business is based solely on [The Lord of [the Manor]2356-the manor]3169-the lord of the manor and [his]1914-sam devastating looks . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m taking [Ava]832-ava [home]281-home , ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse takes the gym bag from [me]2342-matt . ‘ Are [you]2342-matt running tomorrow ? ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse asks [Sam]1914-sam . ‘ Nah , [I]327-jesse might be tied up . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse grins at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt feel [my]2342-matt colour deepen . [I]2342-matt ’ll never get use to [his]327-jesse forwardness and lurid comments . [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head at the cheeky swine . ‘ Where ’s [Kate]2557-kate ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [I]2342-matt should call [her]1754-her . ‘ [She]1754-her had a few deliveries to do . [She]1754-her got all excited about taking [Margo Junior]1052-margo out on [her]1754-her maiden voyage . [I]327-jesse got dumped for [a pink van]3250-a pink van , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse takes a swig of [his]327-jesse beer . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] heading over when [I]2342-matt ’m done [here]314-here . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Done what ? ’[327-jesse] [Drew]327-jesse asks on a raised brow . ‘ Fuck [you]327-jesse . ’[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam spits . Done what , exactly ? [Jesse]327-jesse starts pulling [me]2342-matt out of [the bar]361-the bar . ‘ Bye , [lads]327-jesse . Tell [Kate]2557-kate , [Ava]832-ava ’s with [me]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse calls over [his]327-jesse shoulder . [I]2342-matt wave [my]2342-matt free hand to [them]1756-them as [I]2342-matt ’m hauled from [the bar]361-the bar . [They]1756-them both raise [their]1756-them bottles in goodbye , both grinning . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] escorted out of [The Manor]2356-the manor to [[Jesse]327-jesse ’s [Aston Martin]122-aston martin]2342-matt , really rather quickly . [He]122-aston martin opens the passenger door for [me]2342-matt to get in . ‘ [I]2342-matt want to go on [the bike]1613-the bike . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt complain . [I]2342-matt ’m addicted . ‘[2342-matt] Right now , [I]2342-matt want [you]1758-you in lace , not leather . Get in [the car]548-the car . ’ [His]2342-matt eyes have turned wickedly dark and promising . When did that happen ? [I]122-aston martin get in [the car]548-the car , clenching [my]122-aston martin thighs together , and wait for [him]2342-matt to slide in next to [me]122-aston martin . [He]2342-matt starts [the car]548-the car , quickly reversing out and kicking up the gravel as [he]2342-matt flies off down [the driveway]567-the driveway towards the gates . [He]2342-matt ’s on a mission . [I]122-aston martin know [he]2342-matt was pissed off when [Sarah]54-victoria walked in on [us]3254-us . A few minutes later , [she]54-victoria could have had the perfect view of [Jesse]327-jesse ’s tight arse greet [her]54-victoria . Or has [she]54-victoria seen it before ? [I]122-aston martin inwardly vomit . God , [I]122-aston martin hope not . [I]122-aston martin glance over at the gorgeous profile of [the man]2342-matt sat next to [me]122-aston martin , all relaxed as [he]2342-matt drives . [He]2342-matt flicks [his]2342-matt eyes to [me]122-aston martin before returning [them]3256-them to [the road]2482-the road . [I]122-aston martin can tell [he]2342-matt ’s trying [his]2342-matt hardest not to smile . ‘[122-aston martin] One hundred thousand pounds is a massive overpayment . ’ [I]122-aston martin say coolly . ‘[122-aston martin] Is it ? ’ ‘[1760-you] [You]1760-you know it is . ’ [I]1760-you look at [him]2342-matt challengingly as [he]2342-matt fights the smile threatening to breakout across [his]2342-matt lovely face . ‘[1760-you] [You]1760-you ’re underselling [yourself]1760-you . ’[1760-you] ‘ [I]2342-matt must be the most expensive hooker ever . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt flip , watching [his]2342-matt lips press into a straight line . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , if [you]1760-you refer to [yourself]1760-you in that way again … ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt was joking . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Do [you]1760-you see [me]2342-matt laughing ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt have [other clients]3258-other clients to deal with . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt inform [him]2342-matt bravely . [He]2342-matt ca n’t expect [me]2342-matt to devote all of [my]2342-matt working time to [his]2342-matt extension , or to [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt highly doubt [he]2342-matt ’ll let [me]2342-matt get on with it undisturbed , and [Patrick]327-jesse will get massively suspicious if [I]2342-matt ’m never in [the office]279-the office . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt know , but [I]2342-matt ’m [a special client]3260-a special client . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt reaches over , squeezing [my]2342-matt knee , and [I]2342-matt look up to a dark grin . ‘ [You]3260-a special client ’re[2342-matt] special all right ! ’ [I]2342-matt laugh , earning [myself]2342-matt a dig in the soft void above [my]2342-matt hip bone . [He]2342-matt cranks the volume up , and [Elbow]227-elbow settles [me]2342-matt back in [my]2342-matt seat as [I]2342-matt watch [the world]516-the world go by . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] really in love with [him]2342-matt right now , as appose to just in love with [him]2342-matt . Despite the lapse in the middle , it ’s turned out to be a beautiful day . Chapter 29 [The gates to [Lusso]66-lusso]1761-the gates to lusso slowly shift open and [Jesse]327-jesse pulls in , parking [the car]548-the car swiftly and accurately . [He]2342-matt wastes no time collecting [me]2342-matt from [my]2342-matt side of [the car]548-the car and dragging [me]2342-matt through [the foyer]2536-the foyer towards [the elevator]780-the elevator . ‘ Evening , [Clive]101-clive . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt call as [I]2342-matt ’m hauled past and stuffed into the penthouse lift . ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]1765-you in a rush ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Yes . ’ [he]2342-matt answers decisively , punching in [his]2342-matt code . The doors of [the elevator]780-the elevator close and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] swiftly thrust up against the mirrored wall . ‘ [You]1765-you owe [me]2342-matt an apology fuck . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt growls , attacking [my]2342-matt mouth . What the hell is an apology fuck , and why do [I]2342-matt owe [him]2342-matt one ? [I]2342-matt could make a list as long as [my]2342-matt arm of all the apologies [he]2342-matt owes [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ca n’t think of anything that [I]2342-matt should be apologising for . ‘ What ’s an apology fuck ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt pant as [he]2342-matt thrusts [his]2342-matt knee between [my]2342-matt thighs , moving [his]2342-matt mouth to [my]2342-matt ear . ‘ It involves [your]2342-matt mouth . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shake off a tremble as [he]2342-matt pushes [himself]2342-matt away from [me]2342-matt , leaving [me]2342-matt a raging bag of hormones , panting and holding [myself]2342-matt up by leaning against the wall . [He]2342-matt steps back until [his]2342-matt back meets the opposite wall of [the elevator]780-the elevator , [his]2342-matt hooded eyes watching [me]2342-matt closely as [he]2342-matt removes [his]2342-matt t - shirt and begins working the button fly of [his]2342-matt jeans . [My]2342-matt lips part to allow air into [my]2342-matt lungs as [I]2342-matt wait for instruction . [I]2342-matt ’m a quivering mess . [He]2342-matt ’s perfection incarnate , every sharp muscle flexing and rippling with [his]2342-matt movement . [His]2342-matt jeans gape open , revealing [his]2342-matt mass of hair , [his]2342-matt erection falling out into [his]2342-matt waiting palm . [He]2342-matt is n’t wearing boxers . No obstruction . [I]2342-matt flick [my]2342-matt eyes up to [his]2342-matt , but [he]2342-matt ’s looking down , observing [himself]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt follow [his]2342-matt eyes with [my]2342-matt own and watch as [he]2342-matt draws long , slow strokes over [his]2342-matt arousal , [his]2342-matt breath hitching slightly on each draw . Seeing [him]2342-matt work [himself]2342-matt has pins and needles stabbing at [my]2342-matt groin and [my]2342-matt body temperature swiftly rising . Good God , [he]2342-matt is way past perfect . [My]2342-matt gaze travels back up [his]2342-matt body , finding the most erotic sight [I]2342-matt ’ve ever seen . [His]2342-matt stomach muscles are tense , [his]2342-matt eyes hooded and lust filled , and that full bottom lip is parted and moist . [He]2342-matt ’s staring at [me]2342-matt now , carefully watching [me]2342-matt from across [the elevator]780-the elevator . ‘[2342-matt] Come here , ’ [His]2342-matt voice is hoarse , [his]2342-matt sludgy eyes dark . [I]2342-matt walk slowly towards [him]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] On [your]1767-your knees . ’ [I]2342-matt steady [my]2342-matt breathing and slowly lower [myself]2342-matt to the floor , sliding [my]2342-matt hands down the front of [his]2342-matt tight thighs , maintaining [our]3263-our eye connection as [I]2342-matt do . [He]1680-this beautiful man looks down at [me]2342-matt , [his]1680-this beautiful man arousal still being worked slowly in [his]1680-this beautiful man hand . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] absolutely transfixed on [this beautiful man]1680-this beautiful man looming over [me]2342-matt , working [himself]1680-this beautiful man . [He]1680-this beautiful man uses [his]1680-this beautiful man free hand to caress the side of [my]2342-matt face as [he]1680-this beautiful man pants short , strained breaths through [his]1680-this beautiful man parted lips . [He]1680-this beautiful man taps [my]2342-matt cheek with [his]1680-this beautiful man middle finger . ‘ Open . ’[1680-this beautiful man] [he]1680-this beautiful man orders . [I]2342-matt part [my]2342-matt lips , running [my]2342-matt hands around the back of [his]1680-this beautiful man legs to grip the tops of [his]1680-this beautiful man thighs as [he]1680-this beautiful man strokes the side of [my]2342-matt face in approval and positions [himself]1680-this beautiful man at [my]2342-matt lips . ‘ [You]1769-my ’ll take it all the way , and [I]1680-this beautiful man ’m[1680-this beautiful man] going to come in [your]1769-my mouth , ’ [He]1680-this beautiful man runs [his]1680-this beautiful man moist head over [my]1769-my bottom lip , and [my]1769-my tongue darts out to lap up the bead of creamy cum escaping . ‘[1769-my] [You]1769-my ’ll swallow . ’ [My]1769-my stomach twists , [my]1769-my breath catching in [my]1769-my throat as [he]1680-this beautiful man rears back and slowly plunges into [my]1769-my mouth . [I]1769-my watch as [he]1680-this beautiful man squeezes [his]1680-this beautiful man eyes shut , clenching [his]1680-this beautiful man jaw so hard , [I]1769-my think [he]1680-this beautiful man could burst a vein in [his]1680-this beautiful man temple . [I]1769-my tighten [my]1769-my grip on the back of [his]1680-this beautiful man thighs and pull [him]1680-this beautiful man forward . ‘[1769-my] Fuuuuuck ! ’ [he]1680-this beautiful man grates through [his]1680-this beautiful man gritted teeth . [His]1680-this beautiful man fist is still wrapped around the base , preventing [me]1769-my from taking [him]1680-this beautiful man all the way . [He]1680-this beautiful man moves [his]1680-this beautiful man other hand to the back of [my]1769-my head as [he]1680-this beautiful man stills , drawing urgent breaths . [I]1769-my can feel the pressure [he]1680-this beautiful man ’s applying to [his]1680-this beautiful man thick length , no doubt to prevent [himself]1680-this beautiful man from climaxing immediately . After a few moments , [he]1680-this beautiful man ’s regained [his]1680-this beautiful man composure , and [he]1680-this beautiful man slowly peels [his]1680-this beautiful man hand away from [his]1680-this beautiful man base , placing it on the back of [my]1769-my head to join the other . [I]1769-my watch [him]1680-this beautiful man puff out a few hard breaths . [He]1680-this beautiful man ’s psyching [himself]1680-this beautiful man up . [I]1769-my better make this good then . [I]1769-my draw [my]1769-my mouth back and wickedly skate [my]1769-my hand around to the front of [his]1680-this beautiful man thigh and between [his]1680-this beautiful man legs to glide under [his]1680-this beautiful man heavy sacks . [His]1680-this beautiful man grasp on [my]1769-my head tightens as [he]1680-this beautiful man moans a prayer to the ceiling , [his]1680-this beautiful man hips shaking . [He]1680-this beautiful man ’s fighting to keep control . Lightly , [I]1769-my trace the tip of [my]1769-my finger , back and forth , over the seam of [his]1680-this beautiful man sack . [I]1769-my watch as the cords in [his]1680-this beautiful man neck tighten to snapping point . [I]1769-my ’m[1769-my] enjoying this . [He]1770-he ’s defenseless , vulnerable and [I]2342-matt ’m in total control . Despite [his]1770-he earlier demands to kneel and open [he]1770-he ’s at [my]1770-he complete mercy . It makes a nice change , and [I]1770-he ’m[1770-he] not ignorant to the fact that [I]2342-matt want to please [him]1770-he . [I]2342-matt ’m dimly aware of the elevator doors opening , but [I]2342-matt ignore it . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] completely engrossed in what [I]2342-matt ’m doing to [him]1770-he . Moving [my]2342-matt hand to [his]1770-he base , [I]2342-matt hold [him]1770-he firm as [I]2342-matt run [my]2342-matt tongue over [his]1770-he tip and plant a soft kiss on the end . [I]2342-matt look up and see [him]1770-he lower [his]1770-he head , searching for [my]2342-matt eyes . When [he]1770-he finds them , [he]1770-he begins working slow circles with [his]1770-he hands in [my]2342-matt hair as [I]2342-matt lap at [his]1770-he entire length , paying special attention to the underside and taking immense pleasure when [he]1770-he jerks a few times , pushing rapid bursts of air through [his]1770-he teeth . [He]1770-he watches [me]2342-matt , refusing to close [his]1770-he eyes and determined to see [me]2342-matt work [him]1770-he , as [I]2342-matt trail the entire length of [him]1770-he , pushing the tip of [my]2342-matt tongue into the slit when [I]2342-matt reach [his]1770-he broad head . [He]1770-he gives [me]2342-matt that roguish grin , but [I]2342-matt wipe it from [his]1770-he face and knock the air clean out of [his]1770-he lungs when [I]2342-matt return [my]2342-matt hand to the back on [his]1770-he thigh and yank [him]1770-he forward into [my]2342-matt mouth . ‘[2342-matt] Oh Jesus , [Ava]832-ava ! ’ [he]1770-he barks . [I]832-ava can feel [him]1770-he brushing the back of [my]832-ava throat , and it takes every effort not to retch at the invasion . [He]1770-he feels so thick in [my]832-ava mouth . [I]832-ava start to retreat , but [he]1770-he knocks the wind out of [me]832-ava by thrusting back in , robbing [me]832-ava of breath . [His]1770-he fingers curl in [my]832-ava hair as [he]1770-he slowly withdraws and drives forward again , letting out a long moan of pure pleasure . Any illusion [I]832-ava was under of [me]832-ava being in control are long forgotten . [He]1770-he knows what [he]1770-he wants and how [he]1770-he wants it . Yet again , [he]1770-he has the power . ‘[832-ava] [You]832-ava have a fucking incredible mouth , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [He]1770-he surges forward again , holding [me]832-ava in place with [his]1770-he strong hands , but calmly caressing and stroking [my]832-ava hair at the same time . ‘[832-ava] [I]2342-matt ’ve wanted to fuck it since [I]2342-matt laid eyes on [you]832-ava . ’ [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] not sure if [I]2342-matt should be offended or delighted by that statement . So , instead of pondering it , [I]2342-matt un - sheath [my]2342-matt teeth and drag them over [his]2342-matt taut skin as [he]2342-matt withdraws . ‘ Christ , [Ava]832-ava . Take it deep . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt shouts , powering forward again . ‘ Relax [your]832-ava jaw . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt close [my]2342-matt eyes and absorb [his]2342-matt assault on [my]2342-matt mouth . If it was n’t so damn erotic , it would be pretty brutal . [He]2342-matt ’s aggressive with [his]2342-matt power but tender with [his]2342-matt hands . [He]2342-matt ’s in complete control . After a few more incredible strikes , [I]2342-matt feel [him]2342-matt swell and pulsate in [my]2342-matt mouth . [I]2342-matt know [he]2342-matt ’s tipping the edge . One of [his]2342-matt hands moves from [my]2342-matt head to the base on [his]2342-matt length , and [he]2342-matt withdraws slightly , taking a firm grip , working back and forth urgently . [I]2342-matt circle , lap and suck [his]2342-matt swelling head as [he]2342-matt sucks in a sharp , short breaths . ‘ In [your]2342-matt mouth , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt yells , and [I]2342-matt take [his]2342-matt cue , wrapping [my]2342-matt lips around [his]2342-matt jerking erection and placing [my]2342-matt hand over [his]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt spills hot , creamy cum into [my]2342-matt mouth . [I]2342-matt take it – all of it . [I]2342-matt swallow around [him]2342-matt , glancing up to see [his]2342-matt head thrown back as [he]2342-matt yells into thin air , a throaty cry of satisfaction . [His]2342-matt hips slow [their]1771-their thrusts to a more level , lazy pace as [he]2342-matt rides out [his]2342-matt climax . [I]2342-matt lick and suck the tension away . [My]2342-matt debt is settled . [His]2342-matt chest is heaving as [he]2342-matt looks down at [me]2342-matt with a foggy , green gaze . [He]2342-matt bends to drag [me]2342-matt up [his]2342-matt body , smothering [my]2342-matt lips with [his]2342-matt in a complete appreciation kiss . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] amazing . [I]2342-matt ’m keeping [you]2342-matt forever . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt informs [me]2342-matt , showering [my]2342-matt face with kisses . ‘ That ’s nice to know . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt flip sarcastically . ‘ Do n’t try and pull a hurt with [me]2342-matt , [lady]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt rests [his]2342-matt forehead against [mine]2342-matt . ‘ [You]2342-matt left [me]2342-matt high and dry this morning . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says quietly . Oh , [I]2342-matt ’m apologising for leaving [him]2342-matt hanging . That makes perfect sense , but how will [he]2342-matt repay [me]2342-matt for all of [his]2342-matt transgressions ? What [I]2342-matt ’ve just sustained should repulse [me]2342-matt , but it does n’t . [I]2342-matt ’d do anything for [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt lift [my]2342-matt arms and rest [my]2342-matt palms on [his]2342-matt chest , smoothing over [his]2342-matt toned pecs . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt apologise . ’ [I]2342-matt murmur , leaning in to rest [my]2342-matt lips over [his]2342-matt nipple . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt have lace on . ’ [He]2342-matt wraps [his]2342-matt arms tightly around [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt love [you]2342-matt in lace . ’ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] lifted , [my]2342-matt legs automatically curling around [his]2342-matt narrow waist . [He]2342-matt scoops up [my]2342-matt bags and [his]2342-matt t - shirt and carries [me]2342-matt out of the lift . ‘ Why lace ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [He]2342-matt always insists on it . And it ’s yet something else [I]2342-matt do to please [him]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t know , but always wear lace . Keys , back pocket . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt reach under [his]2342-matt arm , feeling in [his]2342-matt pocket to drag [his]2342-matt keys out before [he]2342-matt turns slightly to give [me]2342-matt access to the door . It ’s soon kicked open and closed again . [He]2342-matt throws [my]2342-matt bags down and carries [me]2342-matt all the way [upstairs]2469-upstairs . [I]2342-matt could get so use to this . [He]2342-matt hoofs [me]2342-matt about like [I]2342-matt ’m little more than a t - shirt on [his]2342-matt back . [I]2342-matt feel weightless and completely safe . [He]2342-matt places [me]2342-matt on [my]2342-matt feet . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m taking [you]2342-matt to bed now . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt whispers softly . [My]2342-matt ears are suddenly invaded by the low sounds of [Massive Attack ’s Angel]228-massive attack ’s angel . [My]2342-matt body goes rigid . This is music to make love to . [I]2342-matt start burning up as [he]2342-matt slowly starts undressing [me]2342-matt , [his]2342-matt soft , green eyes remaining locked with [mine]2342-matt . The diversity of [this man]2342-matt staggers [me]2342-matt completely . [This man]2342-matt is [a brutal , demanding sex Lord]2342-matt in one breath , and [a tender , gentle lover in the next]1773-a tender , gentle lover in the next . [I]2342-matt love all elements of [him]2342-matt , every single one . Well , almost [every single one]1774-every single one . ‘ Why do [you]3264-you try to control [me]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . It ’s the only element of [him]2342-matt that [I]2342-matt ’m struggling to deal with . [He]2342-matt ’s beyond unreasonable . But [you]3264-you do n’t hear [me]2342-matt complaining in [the bedroom]535-the bedroom . [He]2342-matt pushes [my]2342-matt shirt from [my]2342-matt shoulders and down [my]2342-matt arms . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know . ’ [he]2342-matt says on a frown . [His]2342-matt perplexed expression has [me]2342-matt believing that [he]2342-matt really does n’t , which is of no help to [me]2342-matt in trying to understand why [he]2342-matt ’s like this with [me]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt ’s known [me]2342-matt for a few weeks . It ’s crazy behavior . ‘[2342-matt] It just feels like the right thing to do . ’ [He]2342-matt offers the explanation like it should explain everything . It does n’t in the slightest . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] still [none the wiser]1775-none the wiser , [[you]1776-you crazy man]1777-you crazy man ! [He]1777-you crazy man unfastens the zipper of [my]2342-matt trousers and slides them down [my]2342-matt thighs , lifting [me]2342-matt out of them and leaving [me]2342-matt standing before [him]1777-you crazy man in [my]2342-matt underwear . [He]1777-you crazy man stands back and takes a good look at [me]2342-matt as [he]1777-you crazy man removes [his]1777-you crazy man shoes and jeans , kicking them off to the side . [He]1777-you crazy man ’s hard again . [I]2342-matt run [my]2342-matt appreciative eyes over [his]1777-you crazy man loveliness , finishing back at [his]1777-you crazy man sludgy pools . [He]1777-you crazy man ’s like a science project of perfection – [God]68-god ’s masterpiece ; [my]2342-matt masterpiece . [I]2342-matt want [him]1777-you crazy man to be just mine . [He]1777-you crazy man reaches across to [me]2342-matt and pulls the cups of [my]2342-matt bra down , one at a time , brushing the back of [his]1777-you crazy man hand over each of [my]2342-matt nipples , hardening them further . [My]2342-matt breath skips , and [he]1777-you crazy man flicks [his]1777-you crazy man gaze to [mine]2342-matt . ‘ [You]1777-you crazy man make [me]1777-you crazy man crazy . ’[1777-you crazy man] [he]1777-you crazy man says , completely expressionless . [I]2342-matt want to scream at [him]1777-you crazy man for being so thick skinned . [He]1777-you crazy man keeps saying this . ‘ No , [you]1777-you crazy man make [me]1777-you crazy man crazy . ’[1777-you crazy man] [My]2342-matt voice is a breathy whisper . [I]2342-matt mentally plead for [him]1777-you crazy man to acknowledge that [he]1777-you crazy man ’s [an unreasonable control freak]1778-an unreasonable control freak . [He]1777-you crazy man ca n’t believe this is normal behavior . [His]1777-you crazy man lips curve , [his]1777-you crazy man eyes twinkle . ‘ Crazy . ’[1777-you crazy man] [he]1777-you crazy man mouths . [I]2342-matt ’m lifted against [his]1777-you crazy man chest and laid on the bed , [his]1777-you crazy man body spreading down the length of [mine]2342-matt . Once [he]1777-you crazy man ’s swathed [me]2342-matt , [his]1777-you crazy man mouth lowers and [his]1777-you crazy man lips take [me]2342-matt worshipfully , softly working [their]3266-their way over [me]2342-matt , [his]1777-you crazy man tongue sweeping through [my]2342-matt mouth slowly . Oh God . [I]2342-matt love [you]1777-you crazy man . [I]2342-matt could weep at this moment . Should [I]2342-matt tell [him]1777-you crazy man how [I]2342-matt feel ? Why ca n’t [I]2342-matt just spit the words out ? After today and [his]1777-you crazy man performances , [you]1777-you crazy man would think [I]2342-matt would be scarpering , running as fast and as far as [I]2342-matt can . [I]2342-matt ca n’t , [I]2342-matt just ca n’t do it . [I]2342-matt feel [my]2342-matt knickers being drawn down [my]2342-matt legs , [my]2342-matt thoughts well and truly scattered when [he]1777-you crazy man shifts [his]1777-you crazy man body up to sit on [his]1777-you crazy man heels , pulling [me]2342-matt up to straddle [his]1777-you crazy man waiting lap . [He]1777-you crazy man reaches under [us]3267-us and positions [himself]1777-you crazy man at [my]2342-matt opening . ‘[2342-matt] Lean back on [your]1779-your hands . ’ [he]1777-you crazy man orders softly , [his]1777-you crazy man voice like gravel , [his]1777-you crazy man eyes intense . [I]2342-matt lean back , [his]1777-you crazy man spare arm wrapping under [my]2342-matt waist to support [me]2342-matt . [He]1777-you crazy man enters [me]2342-matt slowly on a rush of air , [his]1777-you crazy man lips parted and moist . [I]2342-matt moan in pure , delighted pleasure as [he]1777-you crazy man fills [me]2342-matt completely . [My]2342-matt arms shift a little , and [I]2342-matt lock [my]2342-matt legs around [his]1777-you crazy man waist . [He]1777-you crazy man feels so good inside [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt could die now [a very happy woman]3268-a very happy woman . [His]1777-you crazy man other hand joins the one wrapped around [my]2342-matt waist , [his]1777-you crazy man big hands nearly encompassing [me]2342-matt , as [he]1777-you crazy man starts directing [my]2342-matt hips around in slow , grinding circles , lifting [me]2342-matt up slowly before pulling [me]2342-matt back down and swiveling again . [He]1777-you crazy man ’s working [us]3269-us in perfect time to the music . Christ , [he]1777-you crazy man ’s good . [I]2342-matt sigh , long and breathy at the exquisite sensations [he]1777-you crazy man ’s creating as [he]1777-you crazy man lifts , pulls [me]2342-matt back down and circles , [his]1777-you crazy man own hips following the movements that [he]1777-you crazy man has complete control over . ‘[2342-matt] Where have [you]1780-you been all [my]2342-matt life , [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [he]1777-you crazy man moans on a long , grinding circle . Growing up ! The unwelcome thought reminds [me]832-ava of [my]832-ava lack of knowledge with regards to [his]1777-you crazy man age . If [I]832-ava asked [him]1777-you crazy man at the height of pleasure , would [he]1777-you crazy man answer truthfully ? [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] in love with [a man]340-a man and [I]2342-matt have no idea how old [he]340-a man is . How ridiculous . [I]2342-matt gasp as [I]2342-matt ’m lifted and lowered again , the shimmer of a slow building , highly satisfying climax beginning to gather force . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] hypnotised by [him]340-a man – completely rapt as [I]2342-matt watch [his]340-a man face burning with passion , [his]340-a man chest muscles undulating as [he]340-a man guides [my]2342-matt body on [his]340-a man . This is slow , meticulous love making , and it ’s doing [me]2342-matt no favours with regards to [my]2342-matt feelings for [him]340-a man – none whatsoever . [I]2342-matt ’m as addicted to gentle [Jesse]327-jesse as [I]2342-matt am to dominant [Jesse]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] at a total loss . [His]340-a man tongue sweeps across [his]340-a man moist bottom lip and [his]340-a man eyes flicker , [his]340-a man frown line working its way across [his]340-a man brow . ‘ Promise [me]340-a man something . ’[340-a man] [His]340-a man voice is soft as [he]340-a man swivels [his]340-a man hips on another mind - numbing grind . [I]2342-matt moan . [He]340-a man ’s taking advantage of [my]2342-matt mesmerised state by asking [me]2342-matt to make promises now . But then again , that was more of a demand than a question . [I]2342-matt study [him]340-a man , waiting for [his]340-a man request . ‘ [You]340-a man ’ll stay with [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] What ? Tonight ? Forever ? [Elaborate]229-elaborate , damn it ! That definitely was n’t a question , it was an order . [I]2342-matt nod [my]2342-matt head as [I]2342-matt ’m pulled back down and [he]340-a man mumbles incoherent words . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt need to hear the words , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [He]340-a man circles [his]340-a man hips , penetrating [me]832-ava to the deepest part of [my]832-ava body . ‘[832-ava] Oh God , [I]2342-matt will . ’ [I]340-a man exhale around the scorching infiltration . [My]340-a man voice is quivering from pleasure and emotion as the forceful throb at [my]340-a man core takes over and [I]340-a man tremble in [his]340-a man hands . ‘[340-a man] [You]340-a man ’re going to come . ’[340-a man] [he]340-a man pants . ‘ Yes ! ’[340-a man] ‘ [Jesus]72-jesus , [I]832-ava love looking at [you]340-a man when [you]340-a man ’re[832-ava] like this . Hold it , [baby]832-ava . Not yet . ’ [My]832-ava arms start to buckle under [me]832-ava , prompting [him]340-a man to shift [his]340-a man grip to the middle of [my]832-ava back and pull [me]832-ava up so [we]1783-we ’re[832-ava] front on front . [I]2342-matt cry out as [our]1783-we chests collide and [my]2342-matt new position has [him]340-a man penetrating [me]2342-matt further . [My]2342-matt hands fly up to grasp [his]340-a man back . [He]340-a man searches [my]2342-matt eyes . ‘ [You]340-a man ’re[340-a man] painfully beautiful and all [mine]2342-matt . Kiss [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]327-jesse obey , moving [my]327-jesse palms to cup [his]340-a man handsome face and lowering [my]327-jesse lips to [his]340-a man . [He]340-a man moans as [I]327-jesse plunge [my]327-jesse tongue into [his]340-a man mouth , [his]340-a man drives hardening into [me]327-jesse . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , ’ [I]327-jesse plead . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] going . ‘ Control it , [baby]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] ‘ [I]2342-matt ca n’t . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt pant into [his]327-jesse mouth . [I]2342-matt ’m helpless to [his]327-jesse invasion of [my]72-jesus mind and body as [I]72-jesus tense [my]72-jesus thighs around [him]327-jesse and shatter all over [him]327-jesse . [I]72-jesus cry out and trap [his]327-jesse bottom lip between [my]72-jesus teeth , biting down . [He]327-jesse shouts , rises to [his]327-jesse knees , rears back and slams into [me]72-jesus on [his]327-jesse own release , clenching [me]72-jesus to [his]327-jesse chest and spilling [himself]327-jesse inside of [me]72-jesus . [He]327-jesse thrusts up one last , powerful time . [I]72-jesus cry out . ‘[72-jesus] [Jesus]72-jesus , [Ava]832-ava . What am [I]2342-matt going to do with [you]72-jesus ? ’ Keep [me]2342-matt forever , PLEASE ! [His]327-jesse face plummets into [my]2342-matt neck as [he]327-jesse pumps [his]327-jesse hips slowly , back and forth , milking every ounce of pleasure from [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] dizzy , [my]2342-matt head spinning wildly as [his]72-jesus heavy , hot breath spreads across [my]2342-matt neck and travels down [my]2342-matt chest . Every internal muscle [I]2342-matt possess grips [him]72-jesus as [he]72-jesus pulsates inside [me]2342-matt . [He]72-jesus ’s shaking – proper trembling shakes . [I]2342-matt wrap [my]2342-matt arms around [him]72-jesus and squeeze [him]72-jesus to [me]2342-matt . ‘ [You]72-jesus ’re[2342-matt] shaking . ’ [I]72-jesus mumble the words into [his]72-jesus shoulder . ‘[72-jesus] [You]72-jesus make [me]2342-matt so happy . ’ Do [I]2342-matt ? ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt thought [I]2342-matt made [you]72-jesus crazy ? ’ [He]72-jesus pulls back and looks [me]2342-matt in the eyes , [his]72-jesus forehead shimmering in sweat . ‘[2342-matt] [You]72-jesus make [me]2342-matt crazy happy , ’ [He]72-jesus kisses [my]2342-matt nose and sweeps [my]2342-matt hair away from [my]2342-matt face . ‘[2342-matt] [You]72-jesus also make [me]2342-matt crazy mad . ’ [He]72-jesus gives [me]2342-matt an accusing look . [I]2342-matt do n’t know why . It ’s [his]72-jesus own unreasonable , neurotic behavior that makes [him]72-jesus crazy mad , not [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt prefer [you]72-jesus when [you]72-jesus ’re crazy happy , [you]72-jesus ’re[72-jesus] scary when [you]72-jesus ’re crazy mad . ’[327-jesse] [His]327-jesse lips twitch . ‘ Then stop doing things to make [me]327-jesse crazy mad . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt gape at [him]327-jesse , but [he]327-jesse presses [his]327-jesse lips to [mine]2342-matt before [I]2342-matt can challenge [him]327-jesse on that accusation . [The man]327-jesse is crazy deluded , on top of everything else . [He]327-jesse rests back down on [his]327-jesse heels . ‘ [I]327-jesse would never hurt [you]72-jesus intentionally , [Ava]832-ava . [You]72-jesus know that , right ? ’[327-jesse] The uncertainty is clear in [his]327-jesse voice as [he]327-jesse brushes a stray hair away from [my]2342-matt face . Now , this [I]2342-matt ’m absolutely certain of . Well , in the physical sense . It ’s the emotional sense that scares [me]2342-matt to death . And the fact that [he]327-jesse added intentionally should be cause for concern . [I]2342-matt look into the hazy , green pools of [this beautiful man]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt know . ’ [I]2342-matt sigh , but [I]2342-matt really do n’t . And it scares [me]2342-matt to death . [He]327-jesse swivels around onto [his]327-jesse back , taking [me]2342-matt with [him]327-jesse , so [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sprawled across [his]327-jesse chest . [I]2342-matt shift slightly so [I]2342-matt can trace a figure of eight on [his]327-jesse stomach , lingering longer over [his]327-jesse scar than anywhere else . It fascinates [me]2342-matt in a morbid kind of way , and it ’s another mystery behind [this man]327-jesse . It ’s definitely not a war wound from an operation and it ’s not a puncture wound or a slice . It looks far more sinister than that . The thick , jagged wave looks like [someone]587-someone has , literally , plunged a knife into [his]327-jesse lower stomach and dragged it all the way around to [his]327-jesse side . [I]2342-matt shudder . [I]2342-matt would n’t have thought [anyone]2475-anyone could survive a wound like it . [He]327-jesse must have lost a heap of blood . Dare [I]2342-matt press [him]327-jesse on this ? ‘ Were [you]327-jesse in [the army]3270-the army ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask quietly . This could explain it , and [I]2342-matt ’ve not asked directly . [He]327-jesse pauses stroking [my]2342-matt hair briefly but continues shortly after . ‘ No . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse answers . [He]327-jesse does n’t ask [me]2342-matt why [I]2342-matt would think that . [He]327-jesse knows what [I]2342-matt ’m getting at . ‘[2342-matt] Leave it , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]327-jesse says in that tone – the one that makes [me]832-ava writher on the spot . Yeah , [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] not arguing with that voice , and [I]2342-matt certainly do n’t want to spoil the moment . ‘ Why did [you]3271-you disappear on [me]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask a little apprehensively . [I]2342-matt need to know . ‘ [I]2342-matt told [you]3271-you , [I]2342-matt was a mess . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Why ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt press . [His]327-jesse answer explains nothing . [I]2342-matt feel [him]327-jesse tense beneath [me]2342-matt . ‘ [You]3271-you spark feelings in [me]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse answers softly , and [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt might be getting somewhere . ‘ What sort of feeling ? ’[2342-matt] BOOM ! [He]327-jesse sighs . [I]2342-matt ’ve pushed [my]2342-matt luck . ‘ All sorts , [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse sounds irritated by it . ‘ Is that a bad thing ? ’[327-jesse] ‘ It is when [you]3271-you do n’t know how to deal with [them]3272-them . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse lets out a long , tired breath of air . [I]2342-matt stop with [my]2342-matt strokes . [He]327-jesse does n’t know how to deal with the feelings [he]327-jesse ’s having , so [he]327-jesse tries to control [me]2342-matt ? How will that help ? All sorts of feelings ? [This man]327-jesse talks in code . What does that mean , and why does [he]327-jesse sound so frustrated by it ? ‘ [You]3271-you think [I]327-jesse belong to [you]3271-you . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt start circling [my]2342-matt finger again . ‘ No , [I]2342-matt know [you]3271-you do . ’[2342-matt] ‘ When did [you]3271-you establish that ? ’[327-jesse] ‘ When [I]327-jesse spent four days trying to get [you]3271-you out of [my]327-jesse head . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse still sounds irritated , while [I]2342-matt ’m delighted with this news . ‘[2342-matt] It did n’t work ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Well , no , [I]2342-matt was even crazier . Go to sleep . ’ [he]327-jesse orders . ‘[2342-matt] What were [you]1787-you doing to try and get [me]2342-matt out of [your]1787-you head ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] It does n’t matter . It did n’t work , end of . Go to sleep . ’ [I]230-crazier pout to [myself]230-crazier . [I]230-crazier think [I]230-crazier ’ve extracted as much information as [I]230-crazier ’m[230-crazier] going to get . [Crazier]230-crazier ? [I]2342-matt do n’t think [I]2342-matt ever want to meet [that man]465-that man . All sorts of feeling ? That , [I]2342-matt think , [I]2342-matt like the sound of . [I]2342-matt continue with [my]2342-matt swirling patterns over [his]327-jesse chest , while [he]327-jesse strokes [my]2342-matt hair and drops a kiss every now and then . The silence is comfortable and [my]2342-matt eyes are getting heavy . [I]2342-matt pull [myself]2342-matt further into [him]327-jesse , resting [my]2342-matt leg over [his]327-jesse thigh . ‘ Tell [me]2342-matt how old [you]2342-matt are . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt garble into [his]327-jesse chest . ‘ No . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse replies flatly . [I]2342-matt screw [my]2342-matt face up in sleepy disgust . [I]2342-matt did n’t even get a fake age . [I]2342-matt doze off into a peaceful slumber , dreaming of all things crazy . Chapter 30 [I]2342-matt wake up feeling exposed and cold , and [I]2342-matt know immediately why . Where is [he]327-jesse ? [I]2342-matt sit up , blowing the hair from [my]2342-matt face , to find [Jesse]327-jesse on [the chaise lounge]1789-the chaise lounge , bending down . ‘ What are [you]327-jesse doing ? ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt throat is hoarse , not yet broken in . [He]327-jesse looks up and dazzles [me]2342-matt with [his]327-jesse smile , reserved only for [women]348-women . How come [he]327-jesse ’s all bright eyed and bushy tailed ? ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] going for a run . ’ [He]327-jesse bends back down , and [I]2342-matt notice [he]327-jesse ’s tying [his]327-jesse trainers . When [he]327-jesse ’s finished , [he]327-jesse stands up , the full six foot three inches of lean loveliness , all the more lovely in loose , black running shorts and a marl grey vest . [I]2342-matt lick [my]2342-matt lips and smile admiringly . [He]327-jesse has stubble . [I]2342-matt could eat [him]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m quite enjoying the view too . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse says cheerfully . [I]2342-matt snap [my]2342-matt eyes to [his]327-jesse , noting [him]327-jesse staring at [my]2342-matt chest with an arched brow and a half smile on [his]327-jesse handsome face . [I]2342-matt follow [his]327-jesse gaze and find the cups of [my]2342-matt bra are still sitting under [my]2342-matt boobs . [I]2342-matt leave [them]1791-them as they are , rolling [my]2342-matt eyes . ‘ What time is it ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt suddenly have a stomach turning panic moment . ‘ Five . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt gape at [him]327-jesse , all wide eyed , before dramatically collapsing back onto the bed . Five ? [I]2342-matt have at least another hour of sleep . [I]2342-matt pull the sheets over [my]2342-matt head and close [my]2342-matt eyes . But [I]2342-matt only get , roughly , three seconds of shut eye , before the sheets are whipped off of [me]2342-matt and [Jesse]327-jesse is in [my]2342-matt face , a wickedly mischievous grin plastered all over [his]327-jesse face . [I]2342-matt wrap [my]2342-matt arms around [his]327-jesse neck , trying to pull [him]327-jesse down to [me]2342-matt , but [he]327-jesse pulls against [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt end up in a standing position before [I]2342-matt realise what ’s happened . ‘ [You]3273-you ’re[2342-matt] coming , ’ [he]327-jesse informs [me]2342-matt , snapping the cups of [my]2342-matt bra back over [my]2342-matt boobs . ‘[2342-matt] Come on . ’ [He]327-jesse turns , heading for [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom . [I]2342-matt scoff indignantly . ‘[2342-matt] No , [I]2342-matt ’m bloody not . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse must be mad . [I]2342-matt do n’t mind a run , but not at five in the morning . ‘ [I]2342-matt run in the evenings . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt advise [his]327-jesse back , falling back to the bed . [I]2342-matt crawl to the top and snuggle back down into the pillows , locating the one that smells the most of fresh water and mint . [I]2342-matt ’m rudely interrupted from [my]2342-matt peace when [he]327-jesse grabs [my]2342-matt ankle and yanks [me]2342-matt to the bottom of the bed . ‘[2342-matt] Hey ! ’ [I]2342-matt shout . [I]2342-matt manage to take the pillow with [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not coming . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse leans over , whips the pillow away and narrows [his]327-jesse eyes on [me]2342-matt . ‘ Yes , [you]2342-matt are . Mornings are better . Get ready . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse flips [me]2342-matt over and smacks [my]2342-matt backside . ‘ [I]327-jesse do n’t have [my]327-jesse running kit . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt say smugly , just as a sports bag lands on the bed next to [me]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse brought [me]2342-matt running kit ? ‘ [You]327-jesse brought these for [me]327-jesse ? ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt ask incredulously as [I]2342-matt sit up . That ’s a bit presumptuous . Maybe [I]2342-matt do n’t like running . ‘ [I]2342-matt saw [your]1792-your trainers in [[your]1792-your room]3275-your room . [They]1793-they ’re[2342-matt] wrecked . [You]1792-your ’ll damage [your]1792-your knees if [you]1792-your keep running in [them]1793-they . ’ [He]327-jesse stands with [his]327-jesse arms folded , waiting for [me]327-jesse to change . It ’s the crack of dawn . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] not even awake yet , and [he]327-jesse wants [me]2342-matt pounding the pavements and puffing [myself]2342-matt out through [the streets of [London]5-london]1794-the streets of london before [I]2342-matt ’ve even done a day ’s work ? Unreasonable ! [He]327-jesse sighs , walking over to the sports bag and pulling out all sorts or running paraphernalia . [He]327-jesse hands [me]2342-matt a sports bra on a smirk . Oh , [he]327-jesse really has thought of everything . [I]2342-matt snatch it from [his]327-jesse hands and remove [my]2342-matt lace bra , replacing it with a reinforced shock absorber . [My]2342-matt boobs are n’t so big that [they]1793-they need strapping down . Next , [he]327-jesse passes [me]2342-matt a pair of black running shorts – the same as [his]327-jesse but the ladies version – and a fitted , pink running vest . [I]2342-matt dress [myself]2342-matt under [his]327-jesse watchful eye . [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]327-jesse ’s dragging [me]2342-matt out for a run at this time of day . ‘ Sit . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse points to the bed . [I]2342-matt sigh dramatically , plonking [myself]2342-matt on the end . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] ignoring [you]1795-you . ’ [he]327-jesse grumbles as [he]327-jesse kneels in front of [me]2342-matt , lifting one foot at a time to put breathable running socks on and a rather swanky pair of black , [Nike]231-nike , running shoes . [He]327-jesse can ignore [me]2342-matt all [he]327-jesse likes . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not happy , and [I]2342-matt want [him]327-jesse to know it . When [he]327-jesse ’s done , [he]327-jesse pulls [me]2342-matt up , stands back and runs [his]327-jesse gaze up and down [my]2342-matt sporty clad body . [He]327-jesse nods [his]327-jesse approval . Yes , [I]2342-matt certainly look the part , but [I]2342-matt ’ve always just thrown on [my]2342-matt baggy sweatpants and an oversized t - shirt . [I]2342-matt do n’t want to look better than [I]2342-matt actually am . [I]2342-matt ’m not bad , though . ‘[2342-matt] Can [I]2342-matt use [your]2342-matt toothbrush ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask , sidestepping [him]327-jesse and heading for [the bathroom]535-the bedroom . ‘[2342-matt] Knock [yourself]2342-matt out . ’ [I]2342-matt hear [him]327-jesse call , but [his]327-jesse toothbrush is already in [my]2342-matt hand . After brushing [my]2342-matt teeth , [I]2342-matt feel instantly more alert and even more determined to wipe the smugness from [his]327-jesse face . [I]2342-matt ’ll run , [I]2342-matt ’ll keep up and [I]2342-matt might even finish with a few sit - ups . [I]2342-matt ’ve been meaning to get back into the habit and there ’s no time like the present . [I]2342-matt walk back into [the bedroom]535-the bedroom , back straight and raring to go . ‘[2342-matt] Come on then , [lady]65-ha . Let ’s start the day how [we]1797-we intend to finish it . ’ [He]327-jesse takes [my]2342-matt hand , leading the way [downstairs]2323-downstairs . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not running again today ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt splutter . [This man]327-jesse really is mad . [He]327-jesse laughs . ‘ That ’s not what [I]327-jesse meant . ’[327-jesse] ‘ Oh , what did [you]327-jesse mean ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse flashes [me]2342-matt a dark , dirty grin . ‘ [I]2342-matt mean by being out of breath and sweaty . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt gasp slightly and shiver . [I]2342-matt know which way [I]2342-matt would prefer to get out of breath and sweaty , morning , noon and night . And it does n’t involve this get up . ‘ [You]327-jesse ’re[2342-matt] not seeing [me]2342-matt tonight . ’ [I]2342-matt remind [him]327-jesse . [His]327-jesse hand tightens around [mine]2342-matt and [he]327-jesse grunts a few times . [I]2342-matt spot [my]2342-matt handbag by the door . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt need a hair tie . ’ [He]327-jesse releases [me]2342-matt and goes into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , leaving [me]2342-matt to retrieve a hair tie from [my]2342-matt bag . [I]2342-matt scoop [my]2342-matt hair up into a high ponytail and re - arrange [my]2342-matt shorts . [They]1800-they ’re[2342-matt] chaffing . [I]2342-matt need some pants on . [I]2342-matt delve through [my]2342-matt bag and come across [[my]2342-matt Little Miss Stubborn knickers]2342-matt . Oh , no ! [I]2342-matt flush , cringe and die a thousand deaths all at once . [He]2342-matt must have had a real good rummage to find these beauties . [I]2342-matt ’ve never worn [them]1800-they . [They]1800-they were [Mum]577-mum and [Dad]581-dad ’s idea of a joke stocking filler and have been living at the back of [my]2342-matt underwear drawer for many years . Resigning [myself]2342-matt to a fate full of continuous blushing , for as long as [Sam]1914-sam ’s in [my]2342-matt life , [I]2342-matt whip [my]2342-matt shorts off to pull them on . ‘ Ha ! Let [me]2342-matt see those . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt grasps [my]2342-matt hips , bending down to have a good inspection . ‘ Can [you]3279-you get these in [Little Miss Drive Jesse Crazy]232-jesse ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes . ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t know . Can [you]3279-you get [Mr Unreasonable Control Freak]327-jesse ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt digs [his]2342-matt thumbs into the hollow space above [my]2342-matt hip bones , prompting [me]2342-matt to fold over in laughter . ‘ Stop ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ Get [your]3279-you shorts back on , [lady]65-ha . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt smacks [my]2342-matt bum . [I]2342-matt pull [my]2342-matt shorts back on with a big grin on [my]2342-matt face . [He]2342-matt ’s in a really good mood today . But , then again , [I]2342-matt ’m conforming . [We]3281-we make [our]3281-we way down to [the foyer]2536-the foyer , finding [Clive]101-clive with [his]101-clive head in [his]101-clive hands . ‘[101-clive] Morning , [Clive]101-clive . ’ [Jesse]232-jesse nods formally as [we]3281-we pass . [He]2342-matt ’s far too alert for this time of day . [Clive]101-clive grumbles to [himself]101-clive , waving an absentminded hand at [us]3281-we . [I]101-clive do n’t think [he]2342-matt ’s getting the hang of all that equipment . [Jesse]232-jesse stops [us]3281-we in [the car park]1529-the car park . ‘[101-clive] Stretch . ’ [he]2342-matt instructs , releasing [my]832-ava hand and pulling [his]2342-matt lower leg up to [his]2342-matt backside to stretch [his]2342-matt thigh . [I]832-ava watch as it bulges under [his]2342-matt running shorts . [I]832-ava cock [my]832-ava head , more than happy to stay right here and watch [him]2342-matt do that . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , stretch . ’ [he]2342-matt orders . [I]832-ava throw [him]2342-matt a disgruntled look . [I]832-ava ’ve never stretched in [my]832-ava life – only in bed – and it ’s never done [me]832-ava any harm . On an over exaggerated sigh , [I]832-ava turn [my]832-ava back to [him]2342-matt and spectacularly , and oh so very slowly , spread [my]832-ava legs and bend down to touch [my]832-ava toes , thrusting [my]832-ava backside in [his]2342-matt face . ‘[832-ava] Oh ! ’ [I]832-ava feel [his]2342-matt teeth sink into one of [my]832-ava cheeks , followed by a swift sting of [his]2342-matt hand colliding with [my]832-ava bum . [I]832-ava turn back around and find an arched brow on a peeved face . [The man]2342-matt is serious about [his]2342-matt running , where as [I]832-ava just do a few miles now and again to keep the wine and cake from creeping onto [my]832-ava hips . ‘[832-ava] Where are [we]1801-we running ? ’ [I]832-ava ask , mirroring [Jesse]232-jesse stretching [his]2342-matt thighs and calves . ‘[832-ava] The Royal Parks , ’ [he]2342-matt answers . Oh , [I]832-ava can do that . It ’s roughly six miles around the circumference and one of [my]832-ava regular runs . No sweat . ‘[832-ava] Ready ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks . [I]832-ava nod and make [my]832-ava way over to [[Jesse]232-jesse ’s car]3284-jesse ’s car , while [he]2342-matt makes [his]2342-matt way to the pedestrian gate . What ’s [he]2342-matt doing ? ‘[832-ava] Where are [you]1802-you going ? ’ [I]832-ava shout over to [him]2342-matt . ‘[832-ava] For a run . ’ [he]2342-matt answers coolly . What ? Oh no . Realisation dawns on [my]212-urh waking brain . [He]2342-matt ’s going to make [me]212-urh run all the way to [the parks]1803-the parks , around [them]1803-the parks and back again ? [I]212-urh ca n’t do that ! Is [he]2342-matt trying to kill [me]212-urh off ? [Crazy superbike]233-crazy superbike rides , shock visits to [[my]212-urh work place]3285-my work place and now death by running ? ‘[212-urh] [Urh]212-urh … how far is it to [the parks]1803-the parks ? ’ [I]2342-matt try to sound completely blasé , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not sure [I]2342-matt ’m pulling it off . ‘[2342-matt] Four miles , ’ [His]327-jesse eyes are dancing with delight . What ? That ’s a fourteen mile round trip ! [He]327-jesse ca n’t seriously run that far on a regular basis , it ’s over half a bloody marathon . [I]2342-matt choke slightly and disguise it with a cough , determined not to give [him]327-jesse the satisfaction of knowing [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] affected by this . [I]2342-matt pull [my]2342-matt vest down and walk over to the cocky , smug , Adonis of [a man that has [my]2342-matt heart in a tangled mess]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse punches the code in . ‘ It ’s eleven , twenty seven , fifteen , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse glances at [me]2342-matt with a small smile . ‘ For future reference , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse holds the gates open . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’ll never remember that . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt call over [my]2342-matt shoulder as [I]2342-matt pass [him]327-jesse , starting [my]2342-matt jog towards [the Thames]1805-the thames . [I]2342-matt can do this , [I]2342-matt can do this . [I]2342-matt repeat the mantra – and the code – over and over in [my]2342-matt head . [I]2342-matt ’ve not ran for three weeks now , but [I]2342-matt refuse to let [him]327-jesse get the better of [me]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse ’s caught up with [me]2342-matt and running alongside [me]2342-matt within a few yards . [I]2342-matt look up to [his]327-jesse lean loveliness . Does [this man]327-jesse do anything badly ? [He]327-jesse runs like [his]327-jesse upper body is disconnected from [his]327-jesse lower body , [his]327-jesse legs transporting [his]327-jesse tall , lean body with ease . [I]2342-matt ’m determined to keep up with [him]327-jesse , even though [his]327-jesse pace is a little faster than [I]2342-matt would normally take . [I]2342-matt get into [my]2342-matt stride and [we]3286-we run along [the river]3287-the river in a comfortable silence , throwing each other glances every now and then . [Jesse]232-jesse is right – running in the morning is really quite relaxing . [The city]2326-the city is n’t quite in full swing , the traffic is mainly [delivery vans]3289-delivery vans and there are no horns or sirens ringing in [my]2342-matt ears . The air is surprisingly fresh and cool too . [I]2342-matt might be changing [my]2342-matt running pattern . Half an hour later , [we]3286-we hit [St James ’s Park]50-st james ’s park and follow the green lushness at a steady pace . [I]2342-matt feel surprisingly good , considering [I]2342-matt ’ve run somewhere near four miles already . [I]2342-matt glance up at [Jesse]232-jesse , who ’s putting [his]327-jesse hand up to [every fellow runner]3290-every fellow runner as [they]3290-every fellow runner pass – [all women]1716-the women – who smile brightly at [Jesse]232-jesse and eye [me]2342-matt suspiciously . [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes at [the desperate losers]3292-the desperate losers , glancing up to [gage]234-gage [his]234-gage reaction , but [he]234-gage looks completely unaffected by both [the women]1716-the women and the running . That was probably just [his]234-gage warm up . ‘[2342-matt] Okay ? ’ [he]234-gage asks on a half - smile as [he]234-gage looks down at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not talking . That ’s a sure way to puff [me]2342-matt out , and [I]2342-matt ’m doing really well at the moment . [I]2342-matt nod and return [my]2342-matt focus on the path ahead of [us]3293-we , willing [my]2342-matt muscles not to give up . [I]2342-matt have a point to prove . [We]3293-we maintain [our]3293-we steady pace , making [our]3293-we way around [St James ’s Park]50-st james ’s park , eventually reaching [The Green Park]50-st james ’s park . [I]2342-matt glance up again and still see a completely unaffected , virtually refreshed face and body running next to [me]2342-matt . Okay , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] feeling it now , and [I]2342-matt do n’t know whether it ’s [my]2342-matt fatigue , or the fact [that crazy man]1806-that crazy man here is increasing [his]1806-that crazy man pace , but [I]2342-matt ’m struggling to keep up . [We]3293-we ’ve got to be knocking on nine miles now . [I]2342-matt ’ve never ran nine miles in [my]2342-matt life . If [I]2342-matt had [my]2342-matt iPod with [me]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt would be hitting the button for [my]2342-matt power track , right about now . [We]3293-we hit [Piccadilly]35-piccadilly and [I]2342-matt start to feel [my]2342-matt lungs burning , [my]2342-matt breath getting harder to keep steady and constant . [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt may have hit [the proverbial runner]3294-the proverbial runner ’s wall . [I]2342-matt ’ve never ran far enough to hit it before , but [I]2342-matt can now completely appreciate the meaning of the statement . [I]2342-matt feel like [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] pushing against a ton of bricks wedged in sand . [I]2342-matt must not give up . Oh , it ’s no good . [I]2342-matt ’m bloody shattered . [I]236-baby detour off of [the road]2482-the road and into [The Green Park]50-st james ’s park , collapsing , unceremoniously , onto the grass in a sweaty , overheated heap . [I]236-baby lay spread eagled , dragging valuable air into [my]236-baby overworked lungs . [I]236-baby do n’t care that [I]236-baby ’ve given up . That ’s [my]236-baby personal best achievement . [Man]235-man , [he]235-man can run . [I]236-baby close [my]236-baby eyes and concentrate on taking in deep breaths . [I]236-baby feel sick . The cool morning air invading [my]236-baby sprawled body is most welcome , until it ’s swallowed up by a hunk of leanness closing in on [me]236-baby from above . [I]236-baby open [my]236-baby eyes , finding a gaze so green , it could rival the trees surrounding [us]3297-us . ‘[236-baby] [Baby]236-baby , did [I]2342-matt wear [you]236-baby out ? ’ [He]235-man grins around [his]235-man words . [Jesus]72-jesus , [he]235-man ’s not even broke a sweat . [I]236-baby , on the other hand , ca n’t even talk . [I]236-baby heave underneath [him]235-man , like the running loser that [I]236-baby am , letting [him]235-man smother [my]236-baby face with kisses . [I]236-baby must taste [God]68-god awful . ‘[236-baby] Hmmm , sweat and sex . ’ [He]2342-matt licks [my]236-baby cheek and rolls [us]3298-us over so [I]236-baby ’m[236-baby] sprawled across [his]2342-matt stomach . [I]2342-matt proceed to pant and wheeze all over [him]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt runs [his]2342-matt firm palms all over [my]2342-matt sweaty back . [My]2342-matt chest feels tight . Can [you]1807-you have a heart attack at twenty six ? When [I]2342-matt ’ve finally got [my]2342-matt breathing under control , [I]2342-matt push [my]2342-matt hands into [his]2342-matt chest and straddle [his]2342-matt hips , sitting up on [his]2342-matt body . ‘ Please do n’t make [me]2342-matt run [home]281-home . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt plead . [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt could possibly die . [He]2342-matt places [his]2342-matt hands under [his]2342-matt head , all casual and amused by [my]2342-matt laboured breathing and sweaty face . [His]2342-matt toned arms look edible as [they]1808-they flex . [I]2342-matt could just about muster up the energy to lean down and take a bite . ‘ [You]2342-matt did better than [I]2342-matt expected . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says on a raised brow . ‘ [I]2342-matt prefer sleepy sex . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt grumble , falling forward onto [his]2342-matt chest . [His]2342-matt hands come around to secure [me]2342-matt against [him]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt prefer sleepy sex too . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt traces circles across [my]2342-matt back . Okay , today , [I]2342-matt really , really love [him]2342-matt . And it ’s only six thirty in the morning . But [I]2342-matt should bear in mind that a lot can change and very quickly with [Mr Jesse Ward]327-jesse . Give it an hour and [I]2342-matt might have disobeyed or not conformed , and then , very suddenly , [I]2342-matt ’m dealing with crazy mad , [Mr Unreasonable Control Freak]327-jesse and being given the countdown or a sense fuck – [I]65-ha ’ll take the sense fuck , [I]65-ha ’ll leave the countdown . ‘[65-ha] Come on , [lady]65-ha . [We]1810-we ca n’t frolic in the grass all day , [you]65-ha have work to do . ’ Yes , [I]65-ha do . And [we]1810-we ’re[65-ha] miles from [Lusso]66-lusso . [I]2342-matt ’m actually closer to [Kate]2557-kate ’s than [I]2342-matt am to [Jesse]327-jesse ’s , but [my]2342-matt things are at [Jesse]327-jesse ’s so it looks like [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] taking the long option . [I]2342-matt heave [myself]2342-matt up from [his]1811-he chest and stand . [I]2342-matt ’m slightly wobbly on [my]1812-my feet . [Jesse]327-jesse , of course , rises to [his]1811-he feet like a dolphin gliding across [the calm ocean]3300-the calm ocean . [He]1811-he makes [me]1812-my sick . [He]1811-he wraps an arm around [my]1812-my shoulder and walks [us]3301-us onto [Piccadilly]35-piccadilly , flagging [a taxi]597-the taxi down and bundling [me]1812-my in . ‘[1812-my] [You]1812-my brought money for [a taxi]597-the taxi ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . [He]1811-he knew [I]2342-matt would n’t make it ? [He]1811-he does n’t answer . [He]1811-he just shrugs and yanks [me]2342-matt across [the taxi]597-the taxi into [his]1811-he arms . [I]2342-matt feel a little guilty for cutting [his]1811-he run short , but not too much . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] too beat to dwell on it for long . [I]2342-matt ’m dragged , quite literally , through [the foyer of [Lusso]66-lusso]1251-the foyer of lusso and into [the elevator]780-the elevator . [I]2342-matt feel like [I]2342-matt ’ve been awake for a month , when , in reality , it ’s not even been two hours . [I]2342-matt ’ve no idea how [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] going to make it through the day . When [we]1814-we reach [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse , [I]2342-matt collapse on a bar stool in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , resting [my]2342-matt head on [my]2342-matt arms . [My]2342-matt breathing is only just returning to normal . ‘ Here , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look up and find a bottle of water being waved under [my]2342-matt nose . [I]2342-matt take it gratefully , swinging the lovely ice liquid and wiping [my]2342-matt mouth with the back of [my]2342-matt hand . ‘ [I]1817-he ’ll run a bath . ’[1817-he] [He]1817-he looks at [me]2342-matt in sympathy , but [I]2342-matt detect a little enjoyment mixed in there too . [The smug bastard]1818-the smug bastard ! [I]2342-matt ’m lifted from the stool and carried [upstairs]2469-upstairs in [my]1818-the smug bastard usual chimp like manner . ‘[1818-the smug bastard] [I]2342-matt do n’t have time for a bath , [I]2342-matt ’ll have a shower . ’ [I]2342-matt say as [he]1817-he places [me]2342-matt on the bed . What [I]2342-matt would do to crawl under the covers and emerge sometime next week . ‘[2342-matt] [You]1819-you have plenty of time . [We]1820-we ’ll grab some breakfast and go to [The Manor]2356-the manor mid - morning . Now , stretch . ’ [He]1817-he drops a kiss on [my]327-jesse sweaty forehead and turns towards [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom . [We]1820-we ’ll go to [The Manor]2356-the manor ? What for ? [Realisation]237-realisation kicks in before [my]327-jesse brain has a chance to instruct [my]327-jesse mouth to blurt the question . [He]1817-he was completely serious when [he]1817-he permanently marked out [my]327-jesse diary for the rest of the academic year ? Oh , shit ! [The one hundred grand]3306-the one hundred grand is to keep [Patrick]327-jesse quiet while [he]327-jesse gets [his]327-jesse fix of [me]327-jesse , morning , noon and night . Oh , bloody hell . What about [[my]327-jesse other clients]3307-my other clients – [Van Der Haus]117-mr van der haus being the most important other client ? [He]327-jesse alone will boost [Patrick]327-jesse ’s turnover tenfold . Oh God , [I]327-jesse feel a trample coming on . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , [I]2342-matt need to go to [the office]279-the office . ’ [I]327-jesse try for a calm and reasonable tone . [I]327-jesse do n’t know why [I]327-jesse picked this one in particular . As appose to what ? Demanding ? [Ha]65-ha ! ‘[327-jesse] No , [you]327-jesse do n’t . Stretch . ’ Is the straight flat answer , followed by a terse demand that [I]327-jesse get thrown back at [me]327-jesse from [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] going to lose [my]2342-matt job . [I]2342-matt know it . [He]327-jesse ’ll get [his]327-jesse fix , trample all over [my]2342-matt social life and career , and then drop [me]2342-matt like a hot potato . [I]2342-matt ’ll be job - less , [friend]1823-friend - less , heart - less and , most frighteningly , [Jesse]327-jesse - less . [I]2342-matt feel light headed . What am [I]2342-matt going to do ? [I]2342-matt ’m too exhausted to run away at the start of a countdown – not that [I]2342-matt would get very far , even firing on all cylinders . And a sense fuck will probably finish off [my]2342-matt already strained heart . ‘[2342-matt] All of [my]2342-matt equipment is at [the office]2832-your office . [My]2342-matt computer programmes , reference books , everything . ’ [My]1825-i voice is small . [He]327-jesse presents [himself]327-jesse at the doorway of [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom , chewing [his]327-jesse lip . ‘[1825-i] And [you]1825-i need all that stuff ? ’ ‘[1825-i] Yes , to do [my]2342-matt job . ’ ‘[1825-i] Okay , [we]1826-we ’ll stop by [[your]1825-i office]2832-your office . ’ [He]327-jesse shrugs and returns to [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom . [I]1825-i throw [myself]1825-i back on the bed in exasperation . What in [God]68-god ’s name am [I]1825-i going to say to [Patrick]327-jesse ? [I]1825-i exhale a weary sigh . [He]1827-he ’s lead [me]1825-i into a false sense of security by bringing [me]1825-i [home]281-home in [a taxi]452-a taxi and carrying [my]1825-i tired body up [the stairs]272-the stairs when [my]1825-i legs felt like [they]272-the stairs could give out . [I]1825-i ’m[1825-i] just as deluded as [he]1827-he is . [I]2342-matt ’m never going to be in control . ‘[2342-matt] Bath ’s ready . ’ [he]1827-he whispers in [my]1828-you ear , snapping [me]1828-you from [my]1828-you unrest . ‘[1828-you] [You]1828-you were serious , were n’t [you]1828-you ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask as [he]1827-he lifts [me]2342-matt up from the bed and carries [me]2342-matt into [the bathroom]2350-the room . The enormous bath dominating [the room]2350-the room is only half full . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt was serious about what ? ’ [He]1827-he places [me]2342-matt on [my]2342-matt feet and starts peeling off [my]2342-matt wet running gear . Thick skin ! ‘[2342-matt] About holing [me]2342-matt up with [you]1828-you , ’ ‘[2342-matt] Yes . ’ ‘[2342-matt] What about [[my]2342-matt other clients]3163-my current clients ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t want to share [you]1828-you . ’ [He]1827-he pulls [my]2342-matt shorts down [my]2342-matt legs and taps [my]2342-matt ankle . [I]2342-matt do as [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] bid , lifting [my]2342-matt feet in turn . How am [I]2342-matt going to play this ? For one thing , [I]2342-matt ’m less than delighted at the thought of spending more time than [I]2342-matt have to at [The Manor]2356-the manor under the icy glare of old pouty face , and for another , [I]2342-matt need to keep on top of [[my]2342-matt current clients]3163-my current clients . That ’s what [they]3163-my current clients are paying [me]2342-matt for . [He]1827-he does n’t want to share [me]2342-matt ? What ? With [anyone]2475-anyone ? And for how long ? ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t need to be at [The Manor]2356-the manor to collate designs , [Jesse]327-jesse . ’ [He]1827-he lifts [me]327-jesse into the bath and starts undressing [himself]1827-he . ‘[327-jesse] Yes , [you]2342-matt do . ’ [I]2342-matt sink down into the hot water . It ’s a welcome relief for [my]2342-matt screaming muscles . It ’s a shame it wo n’t relax [my]2342-matt screaming brain . ‘[2342-matt] No , [I]2342-matt do n’t . ’ [I]2342-matt affirm . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] attempting to put [my]2342-matt foot down again . What a laugh ! [I]2342-matt look up to a very disgruntled face as [he]327-jesse climbs in behind [me]2342-matt and pulls [my]2342-matt back against [his]327-jesse chest . [He]327-jesse ’s silent for a short while before [he]327-jesse takes a deep breath . ‘ If [I]327-jesse let [you]3315-you go to [the office]279-the office , [you]3315-you have to do something for [me]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] If [he]327-jesse lets [me]2342-matt ? [This man]327-jesse is beyond self - assured and arrogant . But [he]327-jesse ’s negotiating , which is an improvement on demanding or forcing [me]2342-matt . ‘ Okay . What ? ’[327-jesse] ‘ [You]3315-you ’ll come to [The Manor]2356-the manor ’s anniversary party . ’[327-jesse] ‘ What ? Like a social event ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes , exactly like a social event . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m glad [he]327-jesse ca n’t see [my]327-jesse face , because if [he]327-jesse could , [he]327-jesse would see a screwed up contortion of displeasure . So , now [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] between a rock and a hard place . [I]2342-matt get out of going to [The Manor]2356-the manor today , but [I]2342-matt ’m negotiating delaying the chore , not completely avoiding it . And for a social event ? [I]2342-matt would rather boil [my]2342-matt head ! ‘[2342-matt] When ? ’ [I]2342-matt sound less enthused than [I]2342-matt feel , and that ’s saying something . ‘[2342-matt] Two weeks today . ’ [He]327-jesse wraps [his]327-jesse arms around the tops of [my]2342-matt shoulders and nuzzles [his]327-jesse face into [my]2342-matt neck . [I]2342-matt should be dancing around [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom in joy . [He]327-jesse wants to take [me]2342-matt as a date . It does n’t matter that it ’s [the posh hotel that [he]327-jesse owns]850-there , [he]327-jesse wants [me]2342-matt [there]850-there . But [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not sure [I]2342-matt ’m prepared to spend the evening under the unfriendly , watchful eye of [Sarah]54-victoria . And it ’s a dead cert that [she]54-victoria ’ll be there . ‘[1832-my] [You]1832-my ’ll come . ’ [He]327-jesse thrusts [his]327-jesse tongue in [my]1832-my ear , swirls it around a few times and kisses under the hollow of [my]1832-my lobe , before thrusting it back in [my]1832-my ear . [I]1832-my squirm under [his]327-jesse hot tongue , [my]1832-my body slipping over [his]327-jesse . ‘[1832-my] Stop ! ’ [I]1832-my shudder . ‘[1832-my] No . ’ [He]327-jesse squeezes [me]1832-my to [him]327-jesse as [I]1832-my writher , water splashing everywhere . ‘[1832-my] Say [you]1832-my ’ll come . ’ ‘[327-jesse] No ! [Jesse]327-jesse ! ’ [I]327-jesse laugh when [his]327-jesse hand moves to [my]327-jesse hip . ‘[327-jesse] Stop ! ’ ‘[327-jesse] Please . ’ [he]327-jesse purrs in [my]327-jesse ear . [I]327-jesse stop struggling . Please ? Did [I]327-jesse hear [him]327-jesse right ? [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] stunned on the spot . [Jesse Ward]327-jesse said please ? Okay , so [he]327-jesse ’s brokering a deal , and [he]327-jesse said please . Well , on the bright side , at least [I]2342-matt know [he]327-jesse ’s looking at least a few weeks into the future with [me]2342-matt . If [I]2342-matt had of spent all day at [The Manor]2356-the manor today , there ’s not a shadow of a doubt that [I]2342-matt would be attending The Manors anniversary party anyway . [I]2342-matt should be grateful , [I]2342-matt suppose . ‘ Okay , [I]2342-matt ’ll come . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt sigh , earning [myself]2342-matt a super tight squeeze and an over - the - top nuzzle . [I]2342-matt reach up and wrap [my]2342-matt hands around [his]327-jesse forearms . [I]2342-matt ’ve made [him]327-jesse happy . And that , in turn , makes [me]2342-matt very happy . So , [I]2342-matt ’m going to be [his]327-jesse date . That will please [Sarah]54-victoria no end . Actually , [I]2342-matt will go , and [I]2342-matt ’ll look forward to it too . [He]327-jesse wants [me]2342-matt [there]850-there , and that has to signify something , does n’t it ? [I]2342-matt ca n’t help the little satisfied smile playing at the corners of [my]2342-matt mouth . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not usually the competitive type , but [I]2342-matt really dislike [Sarah]54-victoria and [I]2342-matt really like [Jesse]327-jesse , so it ’s [a no brainer]1834-a no brainer really . ‘ How many years ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . ‘ What ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [The Manor]2356-the manor ’s anniversary , how many years is it ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ A few , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt crane [my]2342-matt neck around to get [him]327-jesse in [my]2342-matt line of sight , finding a completely blank expression . [He]327-jesse ’s giving nothing away . [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head , turning back around and letting [him]327-jesse have [his]327-jesse stupid age secret . [I]2342-matt ’m past caring now . [I]2342-matt love [him]327-jesse – nothing could change that . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve never had a bath before . ’ [he]327-jesse says quietly . ‘[2342-matt] Never ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] No , never , [I]2342-matt ’m [a shower man]327-jesse . But [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt might be [a bath man]327-jesse now . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt love having a bath . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Me]1835-the designer of this place too , but only if [you]1835-the designer of this place ’re[1835-the designer of this place] in it with [me]2342-matt , ’ [He]327-jesse squeezes [me]1835-the designer of this place . ‘[1835-the designer of this place] It ’s a good job [the designer of [this place]310-whoever]1835-the designer of this place anticipated the need for [a big one]1837-a big one . ’ [I]1835-the designer of this place laugh . ‘[1835-the designer of this place] [I]2342-matt think [she]1835-the designer of this place did well . ’ Never in a million years did [I]1835-the designer of this place anticipate enjoying a soak in it when [I]1835-the designer of this place helped coordinate the crane lift of the damn thing . At the time , [I]1835-the designer of this place was regretting being so extravagant , but now [I]1835-the designer of this place ’m[1835-the designer of this place] reaping the benefits of the giant , bespoke tub , it was definitely a ball ache worth enduring . ‘ [I]1835-the designer of this place wonder if [she]1835-the designer of this place ever considered being in it ? ’[1835-the designer of this place] [he]1835-the designer of this place muses . ‘ No , [she]1835-the designer of this place did n’t . ’[1835-the designer of this place] ‘ Well , [I]1835-the designer of this place ’m[1835-the designer of this place] glad [she]1835-the designer of this place is . ’ [He]1835-the designer of this place tugs at [my]1838-my ear lobe with [his]1835-the designer of this place teeth as [I]1838-my feel [his]1835-the designer of this place feet slide down [my]1838-my shins , rubbing across the tops of [my]1838-my feet above the bubbly water . [I]1838-my close [my]1838-my eyes and rest [my]1838-my head against [his]1835-the designer of this place chest . Perhaps [I]1838-my should ditch work and stay with [him]1835-the designer of this place all day after all . In [my]1838-my sleepy bath time slumber , [I]1838-my decide that tub talk with [Jesse]327-jesse is one of [my]1838-my new favourite pastimes . And [I]1838-my might even start running in the morning . Not crazy distances , but around [the Royal Parks]3321-the royal parks once or twice every other morning . [I]1838-my must remember to stretch . ‘[1838-my] [You]1838-my ’re going to be late for work . ’[1838-my] [he]1838-my says softly in [my]2342-matt ear . [I]2342-matt pout to [myself]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m way too comfortable . ‘[2342-matt] Just think … if [you]1838-my did n’t go to [the office]279-the office , [we]1840-i could stay longer . ’ [He]1838-my kisses [my]1840-i temple and rises to get out , leaving [me]1840-i silently wishing [I]1840-i had of relented to [his]1838-my insistence on staying with [him]1838-my all day . [I]1840-i give [my]1840-i own little private huff of disgust and grab [the men]1716-the women ’s shampoo . It looks like it ’s going to be another bad hair day . Chapter 31 [I]1840-i pad into [the bedroom]535-the bedroom and find [my]1840-i cream , fitted dress spread out on the bed , with [my]1840-i nude heels and some fancy lace underwear that [I]1840-i do n’t recognise . [I]1840-i frown to [myself]1840-i , picking up the unfamiliar bra and knickers set . [He]1838-my ’s brought [me]1840-i underwear , and [he]1838-my ’s brought [me]1840-i underwear in the right size ? [He]1838-my really does think [he]1838-my can dictate [my]1840-i wardrobe . [I]1840-i thread [my]1840-i fingers over the pretty , delicate lace in a soft cream colour . It ’s beautiful , but a bit over the top for work . [I]1840-i start going through [my]1840-i gym bag to find an alternative , but there ’s no underwear to be found and no other option in [the clothes department]3324-the clothes department either . In fact , there are no other clothes at all , the sly sod . [I]1840-i resign [myself]1840-i to accepting [my]1840-i fate , getting [myself]1840-i ready and slipping into the underwear and dress that [Jesse]327-jesse has decided [I]1840-i ’m[1840-i] wearing today . [I]2342-matt suppose [I]2342-matt should be grateful that [he]1841-he ’s not laid out [my]2342-matt oversized , chunky knit jumper . [I]2342-matt ’m super relieved that [he]1841-he ’s had the initiative to leave [me]2342-matt a hairdryer , though . [I]2342-matt apply [my]2342-matt make - up , blow - dry [my]2342-matt hair into a tousled , slightly messy mass , pile it up and make [my]2342-matt way [downstairs]2323-downstairs . [I]2342-matt find [Jesse]327-jesse at [the kitchen island on [his]327-jesse mobile]3326-the kitchen island on his mobile , dunking [his]327-jesse finger into a jar of peanut butter . [He]327-jesse glances up at [me]2342-matt , nearly knocking [me]2342-matt off of [my]2342-matt heels with [his]327-jesse roguish smile . Oh yes , [he]327-jesse ’s super satisfied with [himself]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt run [my]2342-matt eyes over [his]327-jesse grey suited , black shirted physic and sigh in admiration . [His]327-jesse dirty blonde hair has been ruffled with wax and set in a messy array to one side , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] super appreciative that [he]1842-he ’s not shaved . [He]1842-he looks rugged and mind - bogglingly handsome . Why did [I]2342-matt insist on going to work ? ‘ [I]1842-he ’ll be there when [I]1842-he ’ve dropped [Ava]832-ava at work . ’[1842-he] [He]1842-he turns [himself]1842-he on the stool , cocking [his]1842-he head to the side . ‘ Yes , tell [Sarah]54-victoria [I]1842-he want it on [my]1842-he desk when [I]1842-he get there . ’[1842-he] [He]1842-he pats [his]1842-he lap , and [I]2342-matt make [my]2342-matt way over , fighting the scowl from [my]2342-matt face at the mention of [her]1843-her name . ‘ [We]3327-we revoke [his]1842-he membership , simple . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt lower [myself]2342-matt onto [his]1842-he knee , smiling when [he]1842-he buries [himself]1842-he in [my]2342-matt neck and inhales deeply . ‘ [He]1842-he can kick off all [he]1842-he likes , [he]1842-he ’s gone , end of . ’[1842-he] [he]1842-he spits harshly . What ’s [he]1842-he on about ? ‘ Get [Sarah]54-victoria to cancel it … yes … okay … see [you]54-victoria in a bit . ’[1842-he] [He]1842-he hangs up , tosses [his]1842-he phone on the worktop and snakes [his]1842-he arms under [my]2342-matt knees to pull [me]2342-matt up from floor and onto [his]1842-he lap , greeting [me]2342-matt with a greedy , full on kiss . [He]1842-he moans into [my]2342-matt mouth in pure satisfaction . ‘ [I]1842-he like [your]54-victoria dress . ’[1842-he] [he]1842-he mumbles around [my]2342-matt lips . [He]1842-he ’s extra minty , mixed with a little peanut butter . [I]2342-matt ca n’t stand peanut butter , but [I]2342-matt love [him]1842-he and all this attentiveness , so [I]2342-matt ’ll ignore it . ‘ [You]54-victoria picked it . Of course [you]54-victoria like it . What ’s with the underwear ? ’[1842-he] [He]1842-he pecks [my]2342-matt lips and puts [me]2342-matt down . ‘ [I]1842-he told [you]54-victoria , always in lace . ’[1842-he] [He]1842-he runs [his]1842-he eyes down [my]2342-matt body . [I]2342-matt do n’t argue – a pointless exercise if ever there was one , and [I]2342-matt ’ve got it on now . ‘ Breakfast ? ’[1842-he] [he]1842-he asks . [I]2342-matt glance at the clock on the cooker . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll grab something at [the office]279-the office . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ca n’t be late . [I]2342-matt grab [my]2342-matt bag to get [my]2342-matt pills . ‘ Can [I]2342-matt have some water ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Knock [yourself]2342-matt out , [baby]832-ava . ’[1842-he] [He]1842-he returns to [his]1842-he jar of peanut butter . [I]2342-matt walk over to the huge fridge - freezer , delving into the deepest depths of [my]2342-matt bag . Where are [they]1844-they ? [I]2342-matt slap [my]2342-matt bag onto the worktop next to the fridge , removing everything , but [I]2342-matt find no pills . Please , not again . [I]2342-matt ’m hopeless . ‘[2342-matt] What ’s up ? ’ [he]1842-he asks . ‘[2342-matt] Nothing , ’ [I]2342-matt mutter , dumping everything back into [my]2342-matt bag . ‘[2342-matt] Fuck . ’ [I]2342-matt curse under [my]2342-matt breath , but then mentally applaud [myself]2342-matt for separating the packets and putting some in [my]2342-matt underwear drawer . ‘[2342-matt] Watch [your]1845-you mouth , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]1842-he rebukes [me]832-ava . ‘[832-ava] Come on , [you]1845-you ’ll be late . ’ ‘[1845-you] Sorry , ’ [I]327-jesse mutter . ‘[327-jesse] This is [your]1845-you fault , [Ward]327-jesse . ’ [I]1845-you swing [my]1845-you bag onto [my]1845-you shoulder . ‘[1845-you] [Mine]1845-you ? ’ [he]1842-he blurts , all wide eyed . ‘[1845-you] What ’s [my]2342-matt fault and how ? ’ ‘[1845-you] Nothing , but it ’s [your]1845-you fault because [you]1845-you ’re distracting [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt accuse . [He]1846-he looks down at [me]2342-matt , [his]1846-he lips twitching . ‘ [You]1845-you love [me]1846-he distracting [you]1845-you . ’[1846-he] [I]2342-matt do as well . [I]2342-matt ca n’t deny it . [I]2342-matt ’m delivered to [Berkeley Square]47-berkeley square in record time . [He]1846-he really is a menace on [the roads]570-the roads , in [[his]1846-he stupidly expensive car]3331-his stupidly expensive car . [He]1846-he parks illegally on [the corner]1650-the corner and turns [himself]1846-he to face [me]2342-matt . [He]1846-he ’s chewing [his]1846-he bottom lip and [he]1846-he has been for most of the journey . What ’s [he]1846-he thinking about ? ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt love waking up with [you]1847-him . ’ [he]1846-he says gently , reaching over and running [his]1846-he thumb across [my]1847-him bottom lip . [I]1847-him turn in [my]1847-him seat so [I]1847-him ’m[1847-him] facing [him]1847-him . ‘ [I]2342-matt love waking up with [you]1847-him too . But [I]2342-matt do n’t like being run ragged at five in the morning . ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt legs are really feeling it , and it ’s only going to get worse . [I]2342-matt did n’t stretch after the run because [I]2342-matt was sidetracked by [Mr Challenging]238-mr challenging and [his]238-mr challenging challenging ways . [My]2342-matt day is looking to be really uncomfortable with [my]2342-matt nude heels to boot . ‘ [You]1848-you would prefer to be fucked ragged ? ’[238-mr challenging] [He]238-mr challenging grins that roguish grin , running [his]238-mr challenging palm down the front on [my]2342-matt dress . Oh , no [you]1848-you do n’t ! ‘ No , [I]2342-matt prefer sleepy sex . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt correct [him]1847-him . [I]2342-matt lean over , plant a chaste kiss on [his]1847-him mouth and get out of [the car]548-the car , leaving [him]1847-him and [his]1847-him frown line alone . [I]2342-matt lean back in . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll be seeing [you]1848-you tomorrow . Thank [you]1848-you for exhausting [me]2342-matt before work . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shut the door and start walking off on [my]2342-matt abused legs in the most uncomfortable shoes [I]2342-matt own . Thank God [I]2342-matt ’ve got a day in [the office]279-the office because [I]2342-matt could n’t be prancing around [London]5-london in these beauties . [My]2342-matt phone shouts at [me]2342-matt from [my]2342-matt bag . [I]2342-matt pull it out . [You]1851-i look incredible in that dress . Good choice . [You]1851-i ’re welcome . Jx Turning around , [I]1851-i see [him]1847-him watching [me]1851-i walk away . [I]1851-i perform a little rotation and catch [his]1847-him dazzling smile before [I]1851-i hear the guttural roar of [[his]1847-him car]2476-his car go speeding off . [I]1851-i smile to [myself]1851-i . [He]1847-him ’s been really rather reasonable this morning . [I]1851-i walk into [the office]279-the office and find [Tom]60-tom consoling [Victoria]54-victoria at [her]54-victoria desk . [I]1851-i roll [my]1851-i eyes to [myself]1851-i . What drama has occurred at eight thirty on a Friday morning ? ‘[1851-i] Just get it fixed . ’ [Tom]60-tom soothes , rubbing [her]54-victoria back . [I]1851-i look down , finding [Victoria]54-victoria inspecting [her]54-victoria thumb nail . [I]1851-i roll [my]1851-i eyes again . ‘[1851-i] [I]2342-matt do n’t have time today , ’ [she]54-victoria cries . ‘[1851-i] This is a disaster ! ’ [She]54-victoria broke a flipping nail ? [The girl]54-victoria should have sought a career in [stage school]3335-stage school . But then [I]1851-i remember … [she]54-victoria has a date with [Drew]327-jesse tonight . Oh , this really is a disaster for [Victoria]54-victoria . [I]1851-i make [my]1851-i way to [my]1851-i desk as [she]54-victoria files down [her]54-victoria broken nail , [Tom]60-tom continuing to rub [her]54-victoria back . [He]60-tom looks up at [me]1851-i , making an equally dramatic give - [me]1851-i - strength gesture before virtually sprinting over to [my]1851-i side of [the office]279-the office . [I]1851-i know what ’s coming . [He]60-tom plants [his]60-tom palms on [my]1851-i desk , leaning forward . ‘[1851-i] What was all that about ? ’ ‘[1851-i] Shhhhhhh ! ’ [I]1852-him scowl at [him]60-tom , looking over [my]1852-him shoulder into [[Patrick]327-jesse ’s office]279-the office . [He]327-jesse ’s not there , but [he]327-jesse could be in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen or [the conference room]3338-the conference room . [I]1852-him should have known [[my]1852-him gay , inquisitive friend]3339-my gay , inquisitive friend would be picking [my]1852-him brain on [Jesse]327-jesse ’s shock visit to [the office]279-the office yesterday . In fact , [I]1852-him ’m[1852-him] surprised [he]1852-him held out until this morning . [Tom]60-tom waves a dismissive hand . ‘ [He]60-tom ’s not here . Tell [me]60-tom ! ’[60-tom] [I]2342-matt focus [my]2342-matt attention on [my]2342-matt computer , turning it on and faffing with the mouse . What do [I]2342-matt tell [him]1852-him ? [I]2342-matt ’ve fallen in love with [a controlling , domineering , unreasonable , neurotic , trampling man]1853-a controlling , domineering , unreasonable , neurotic , trampling man , who happens to be [a client]2741-a client and fucks [me]2342-matt senseless ? Oh , who also gives [me]2342-matt the countdown when [I]2342-matt disobey [him]1852-him ? Yes , that about covers it . [I]2342-matt look up and find [Victoria]54-victoria ’s joined the interrogation party . ‘ [He]1852-him ’s [one hot S.O.B]3340-one hot s.o.b ! ’[1855-she] [she]1855-she sings . ‘ [S.O.B]239-s.o.b ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt frown . ‘ [Son of [a bitch]2978-a bitch]3341-son of a bitch . ’[1856-they] [they]1856-they say in unison . Oh ? Yes , [he]1852-him ’s that too . [I]2342-matt smile to [myself]2342-matt , stretching [my]2342-matt legs under the table on a sigh . Oh , that feels good . ‘ Do n’t hold out on [us]3343-us ! ’[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom whines , executing the gayest pout [I]2342-matt ’ve ever seen . ‘ [I]60-tom ’m[60-tom] sleeping with [him]1852-him . ’ [I]60-tom shrug . [I]60-tom ’m[60-tom] in love with [him]1852-him ! [They]1856-they both look at [me]2342-matt like [I]2342-matt ’ve sprouted horns , then at each other on an eye roll . Both sets of arms get folded across [their]1856-they chests as [they]1856-they stand before [me]2342-matt . [Tom]60-tom looks over [his]60-tom fashion spectacles , and [I]2342-matt glance over [my]2342-matt desk to see if [they]1856-they ’re tapping [their]1856-they feet as well . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [we]1857-we know that , ’ [Tom]60-tom huffs impatiently . ‘[1856-they] [We]1857-we just want to know if the rebound fucking has moved into more interesting territory . ’ [He]60-tom lowers [his]60-tom head further down , making [me]1856-they feel like [I]1856-they ’m[1856-they] under a microscope . [I]2342-matt am . [I]2342-matt remove the fingers from [my]2342-matt hair . ‘ [I]54-victoria could ask [Drew]327-jesse . ’[54-victoria] [Victoria]54-victoria chirps . ‘ What ? ’[54-victoria] [I]2342-matt throw a filthy look in [her]54-victoria direction when [I]2342-matt realise what [she]54-victoria means . ‘ [Victoria]54-victoria , [I]54-victoria ’m[54-victoria] not in high school . [I]2342-matt do n’t need [you]1858-i picking [[his]1858-i friends]1859-his friends brain . Keep [your]1858-i mouth shut ! ’ [I]1858-i sound really harsh , but [I]1858-i honestly can not believe [she]54-victoria has just suggested something so pathetic and immature . [She]54-victoria looks at [me]1858-i all hurt and backs off , returning to [her]54-victoria desk and [her]54-victoria broken nail . [Tom]60-tom looks at [me]1858-i , disapproval written all over [his]60-tom face . [I]1858-i shake [my]1858-i head at [him]60-tom . [I]1858-i do n’t care . [She]54-victoria can be such a ditsy cow sometimes . ‘[1858-i] It ’s sex , nothing more . ’ [I]1858-i inform [him]60-tom . ‘[1858-i] Now , leave [me]2342-matt alone ! ’ [I]1858-i grab [my]1858-i mouse and direct it aimlessly around [my]1858-i screen . ‘[1858-i] Hmmm , ’ [he]60-tom muses , leaving [me]1858-i at [my]1858-i desk in peace . ‘[1858-i] Just sex , [my]2342-matt arse . ’ [I]1858-i hear [him]60-tom mutter . [I]1858-i spend the morning checking on [[my]1858-i clients]3344-my clients and schedules . [I]1858-i ’m[1858-i] pleased . Everything is running smoothly , with no major dramas to attend to and [no lazy contractors]1860-no lazy contractors to sack . [I]2342-matt pencil in a few site visits for next week , smiling as [I]2342-matt write between the diagonal lines of permanent marker pen . [I]2342-matt need to replace [my]2342-matt diary before [Patrick]327-jesse cops a load of [my]2342-matt daily appointments with [the Lord]349-the lord . [I]2342-matt gladly accept the cappuccino and muffin that lands on [my]2342-matt desk , courtesy of [Sally]54-victoria , and frown when [I]2342-matt hear a commotion of car horns coming from outside [the office]279-the office . [I]2342-matt look up , spotting [a pink van double parked]1863-a pink van double parked and [Kate]2557-kate frantically waving to get [my]2342-matt attention . [I]2342-matt lift [myself]2342-matt from [my]2342-matt chair , groaning as [my]2342-matt muscles scream in protest . [I]2342-matt hiss on every step [I]2342-matt take until [I]2342-matt ’m stood at the side of [Margo Junior]1052-margo , smiling fondly at [[my]2557-kate fiery friend]1052-margo ’s excited face . ‘[2557-kate] Is n’t [she]2557-kate pretty ? ’ [Kate]2557-kate lovingly caresses the steering wheel of [Margo Junior]1052-margo . ‘[2557-kate] Beautiful , ’ [I]2557-kate agree , but then [I]2557-kate remember something . ‘[2557-kate] What are [you]1864-you playing at letting [Sam]1914-sam have free reign on [my]2342-matt underwear drawer ? ’ ‘[1914-sam] [I]2342-matt could n’t stop [him]1914-sam ! ’ [Her]2557-kate voice is high pitched and defensive . It bloody well should be . ‘[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam ’s a cheeky swine . ’ [She]2557-kate grins . [I]1914-sam ’ve no doubt that [he]1914-sam is . The thought instantly reminds [me]1914-sam about the whole tying up charade . [I]1914-sam ’m[1914-sam] tempted to ask [Kate]2557-kate , but [I]2342-matt quickly decide that [I]2342-matt really do n’t want to know . ‘ How ’s [Jesse]327-jesse ? ’[2557-kate] [Her]2557-kate grin widens . ‘ Fine , ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt narrow [my]2342-matt eyes on [her]2557-kate . ‘ [You]2557-kate stayed there , ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate says , [her]2557-kate tone suggestive . ‘ Have fun ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scoff . ‘ Well , [I]2342-matt had a wild ride on [a Ducati 1098]3345-a ducati 1098 , had daggers thrown at [me]2342-matt by [Sarah]54-victoria and ran nine miles this morning . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt reach down , rubbing [my]2342-matt hands over [my]2342-matt aching thighs . ‘ Fuck , is [she]2557-kate still at it ? Tell [her]2557-kate to take a leap . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate frowns . ‘ [You]2557-kate ran nine miles ? Well , that stinks . And what the hell is [a Ducatsiwhatevery]3346-a ducatsiwhatevery ? ’[2557-kate] ‘ [A superbike]3347-a superbike , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shrug . [I]2342-matt would n’t have known that [myself]2342-matt a few days ago . ‘ [He]3347-a superbike ’s deposited a hundred grand into [the Rococo Union bank account]3348-the rococo union bank account . ’[2342-matt] ‘ What ? ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate shrieks . ‘ [You]2557-kate heard . ’[2557-kate] ‘ Why ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shrug . ‘ To keep [Patrick]327-jesse quiet while [he]327-jesse hogs [me]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse does n’t want to share [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Wow ! [That man]1410-crazy man ’s crazy . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt laugh . Yes , [crazy man]1410-crazy man ; crazy deluded ; crazy rich ; crazy challenging , crazy loveable … ‘ Are [we]3349-we out tonight ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [I]2342-matt ’ve rebuffed [crazy man]1410-crazy man on the assumption that [Kate]2557-kate ’s free . [He]1410-crazy man ca n’t assume [I]2342-matt ’m there to fuck at [his]1410-crazy man beck and call . It is very tempting , though . ‘[2342-matt] Absolutely ! Ask [Victoria]54-victoria and [Gayboy]150-gayboy . ’ [I]54-victoria sag in relief . ‘[54-victoria] [Victoria]54-victoria has a date with [Drew]327-jesse , but [I]2342-matt ’ll ask [Tom]60-tom . Are [you]60-tom not seeing [Sam]1914-sam then ? [He]1914-sam ’s becoming a bit of a permanent fixture at [[your]60-tom place]1866-your place . ’ [I]1914-sam arch a brow . [He]1914-sam ’s actually a semi naked permanent fixture , but [I]1914-sam do n’t point that out . [She]1867-the girl who has n’t been on a second date for years ’s going to play it off as fun . ‘[1914-sam] It ’s just a bit of fun . ’ [she]1867-the girl who has n’t been on a second date for years replies haughtily . [I]1914-sam laugh at [her]1867-the girl who has n’t been on a second date for years casualness . [I]1914-sam know different . [We]3350-we ’re[1914-sam] talking about [the girl who has n’t been on a second date for years]1867-the girl who has n’t been on a second date for years . [Sam]1914-sam ’s cute . [I]2342-matt can certainly see the appeal . [A car]2474-a car starts honking its horn from behind [Margo Junior]1052-margo . ‘ Oh , fuck off ! ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate yells . ‘ [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] off . [I]2342-matt ’ll see [you]60-tom at [home]281-home later . [You]60-tom ’re in charge of getting the wine . ’[2557-kate] The window starts to rise and [she]2557-kate grins from ear to ear . [I]2342-matt still ca n’t believe [he]1914-sam brought [her]2557-kate [a van]3091-a van . [I]2342-matt suddenly remember the deal [I]2342-matt brokered in exchange for [my]2342-matt clothes … no drinking tonight . Well , that ’s rubbish because [I]2342-matt ’m looking forward to a glass or two . [He]327-jesse ’ll never know . [Kate]2557-kate zooms off down [the road]2482-the road , and [I]327-jesse return to [the office]279-the office . ‘[327-jesse] [Patrick]327-jesse called , ’ [Sally]54-victoria informs [me]327-jesse as [I]327-jesse pass [her]54-victoria desk . ‘[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse ’s not coming in at all today . [He]327-jesse ’s playing golf . ’ ‘[327-jesse] Thanks , [Sal]54-victoria . ’ [I]54-victoria return to [my]54-victoria desk , stretching [my]54-victoria legs back out . Yes , [I]54-victoria ’m[54-victoria] really feeling it now . Standing back up , [I]2342-matt pull [my]2342-matt heel up to [my]2342-matt backside , letting out a long , grateful breath when [my]2342-matt thigh muscle stretches most satisfyingly . [My]2342-matt phone starts jumping around [my]2342-matt desk and [Placebo]1871-placebo starts crooning about Running up [that Hill]1871-placebo . [I]2342-matt do n’t even have to look at the screen to know who it is . [He]327-jesse has amazing taste in music . ‘ [I]2342-matt like . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say , by way of greeting . ‘ [Me]2342-matt too . [We]3353-we ’ll make love to it later . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[327-jesse] not seeing [me]2342-matt later . ’ [I]2342-matt remind [him]327-jesse again . [He]327-jesse ’s doing this on purpose . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt miss [you]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt ca n’t see [him]327-jesse , but [I]2342-matt know [he]327-jesse ’s pouting . And as for the make love part … well , it ’s a massive improvement on fucking . [I]2342-matt smile , [my]2342-matt heart performing jumping jacks in [my]2342-matt chest . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt miss [me]2342-matt ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do , [I]2342-matt miss [you]2342-matt . ’ [he]327-jesse grumbles . [I]2342-matt glance at [my]2342-matt computer . It ’s one o’clock . It ’s not even been five hours since [I]2342-matt left [him]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t go out tonight . ’ [he]327-jesse says . It ’s not a plea , it ’s a demand . [I]2342-matt flop back in [my]2342-matt chair . [I]2342-matt knew this was coming . ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t . ’ [I]2342-matt warn , in the most assertive voice [I]2342-matt can muster . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve made plans . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt know , [you]2342-matt may be at work , but do n’t think [I]2342-matt wo n’t come down there and fuck some sense into [you]2342-matt . ’ [His]2342-matt voice is deadly serious and even a little angry . [He]2342-matt would n’t , [he]2342-matt could n’t . Or could [he]2342-matt ? Bloody hell , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not even sure . ‘ Knock [yourself]2342-matt out . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt respond , very lightly . [He]2342-matt laughs . ‘ [I]2342-matt was serious , [lady]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt know [you]2342-matt were . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve no doubt about it , but [he]2342-matt will have to wait until tomorrow to do any sort of fucking . ‘ Do [your]2342-matt legs ache ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks , just as [I]2342-matt ’m stretching them under [my]2342-matt desk again . ‘[2342-matt] -ish , ’ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not giving [him]2342-matt the satisfaction of knowing that [I]2342-matt ’m actually in pain . [I]2342-matt ’ll have a Radox bath before [I]2342-matt go out . Hold up … was [he]2342-matt trying to cripple [me]2342-matt so [I]2342-matt ca n’t go out ? ‘[2342-matt] -ish , ’ [he]2342-matt replies , humour clear in [his]2342-matt husky voice . ‘[2342-matt] Remember [our]1872-our deal ? ’ [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes to [myself]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt was kidding [myself]2342-matt if [I]2342-matt thought [he]2342-matt would forget about [his]2342-matt little deal . And now [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] certain [he]2342-matt had [me]2342-matt running a marathon at the break of dawn in an attempt to immobilise [me]2342-matt . [Control freak]1244-control freak ! ‘ No reminder fuck required . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mutter . [He]2342-matt ’ll never know . [I]2342-matt ’m not going to get so drunk that [I]2342-matt have a raging hangover – it ’s too soon after [my]2342-matt last performance . ‘[2342-matt] Watch [your]1874-your mouth , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]2342-matt sighs , tiredly . ‘[832-ava] And [I]2342-matt ’ll decide when and if a reminder fuck is necessary . ’ [He]2342-matt ’s serious ? [I]241-roger gape a little down the phone . Has [he]2342-matt no sense of humour ? [I]241-roger stand up again , pulling [my]241-roger thigh to [my]241-roger butt on a satisfied groan . Damn [him]2342-matt and [his]2342-matt break of dawn run . ‘[241-roger] [Roger]241-roger that . ’ [I]241-roger confirm with all the sarcasm it deserves . ‘[241-roger] When will [I]2342-matt see [you]241-roger ? ’ [he]2342-matt sighs . ‘[241-roger] Tomorrow ? ’ [I]2342-matt really do want to see [him]2342-matt , despite [his]2342-matt challenging ways . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll pick [you]241-roger up at eight . ’ Eight ? It ’s a Saturday , [I]2342-matt want a lay in . Eight ? [I]2342-matt really wo n’t be getting drunk , not if [Jesse]327-jesse is going to be rocking up at eight . ‘[2342-matt] Noon , ’ [I]2342-matt counter . ‘[2342-matt] Eight . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Eleven . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Eight ! ’ [he]2342-matt barks . ‘[241-roger] [You]241-roger ’re supposed to meet [me]2342-matt half way ! ’[2342-matt] [The man]2342-matt is impossible . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll see [you]241-roger at eight . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt hangs up , leaving [me]2342-matt on one leg with [my]2342-matt phone hanging from [my]2342-matt ear . [I]2342-matt look at [my]2342-matt mobile disbelievingly . [He]2342-matt can turn up at eight all [he]2342-matt likes ; [I]2342-matt wo n’t be awake to let [him]2342-matt in . And [I]2342-matt seriously doubt [Kate]2557-kate will be either . [I]2342-matt sink [my]2342-matt achy body back into [my]2342-matt chair on a few sharp inhales of breath . [I]2342-matt ’m never running again . ‘[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom , ’ [I]1876-i call . ‘[1876-i] [We]1876-i ’re out tonight , [you]60-tom coming ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt looks up with a dirty , great big grin on [his]2342-matt baby face . ‘ [I]2342-matt shall decline graciously , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt bows [his]2342-matt head like the gentleman [I]2342-matt know [he]2342-matt ’s not . ‘ [I]2342-matt have a date ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ Another ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]54-victoria ca n’t come . [I]54-victoria assume [you]60-tom were going to ask [me]54-victoria . ’[54-victoria] [Victoria]54-victoria huffs without looking up from [her]54-victoria drawings . [I]2342-matt do n’t dignify [her]54-victoria sarcasm with a response , flashing [my]2342-matt screwed up face to [her]54-victoria back instead . ‘ Yes ! This one is definitely [a keeper]3354-a keeper . ’[60-tom] [Tom]60-tom nods with the biggest smirk on [his]60-tom face . [I]2342-matt leave [Tom]60-tom with [his]60-tom grin , returning to [my]2342-matt computer . [They]1877-all keepers ’re [all keepers]1877-all keepers . [I]1877-all keepers leave [the office]2819-the shop at six , heading straight to [the shop]2819-the shop to get some Radox and a bottle of wine , before making [my]1877-all keepers way to the tube . [I]1877-all keepers fight off the temptation to open the wine here and now . It ’s Friday , [I]1877-all keepers ’m[1877-all keepers] catching up with [Kate]2557-kate tonight and spending the day with [my]2342-matt challenging control freak tomorrow . Perfect . [I]2342-matt walk through the front door , finding a half - naked [Sam]1914-sam walking out of [[Kate]2557-kate ’s workshop]1878-kate ’s workshop , followed by a fully dressed [Kate]2557-kate with a highly satisfied smile on [her]2557-kate face . ‘ Seriously ? ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt splutter , as [I]2342-matt try to direct [my]2342-matt eyes anywhere , except on [Sam]1914-sam ’s fine physic . [He]1914-sam blinds [me]2342-matt with [his]1914-sam ultimate cheeky grin and turns to face [Kate]2557-kate , giving [me]2342-matt a rear view of [his]1914-sam bare back and baggy jeaned arse . It ’s then that [I]2342-matt notice a lump of cake mixture at the nape of [his]1914-sam neck . ‘ [You]2557-kate missed a bit . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt point to the offending smear of mixture . [Kate]2557-kate swivels [Sam]1914-sam back around to face [me]2342-matt and licks up the centre of [his]1914-sam back towards [his]1914-sam neck . [He]1914-sam smirks at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt laugh . What a pair of exhibitionists . Making [my]2342-matt way up to [the flat]420-the flat , [I]2342-matt hiss at the stabbing pains travelling down [my]2342-matt legs with every step [I]2342-matt take . [I]2342-matt go straight to [the bathroom]2349-the kitchen to run the bath , pouring in half the bottle of muscle relaxing bath soak . Then [I]2342-matt take [myself]2342-matt to [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen to take care of special requirement number two ; [I]2342-matt pour [myself]2342-matt and [Kate]2557-kate a glass of wine . [I]2342-matt gasp [my]2342-matt appreciation as [I]2342-matt take [my]2342-matt first sip . Five minutes later , [I]2342-matt ’m flinging every garment in [my]2557-kate underwear drawer over [my]2557-kate shoulder in a panic . ‘[2557-kate] [KATE]2557-kate ! ’ [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt put them in [here]314-here , so where the hell are [they]1881-they ? If this is [Sam]1914-sam ’s idea of a joke , [I]2342-matt ’ll wring [his]1914-sam fucking neck ! [Kate]2557-kate breezes into [[my]2342-matt room]2682-my room . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve turned [your]2342-matt bath off . What ’s up ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt pills , ’ ‘[2342-matt] What about [them]1881-they ? ’ ‘[1881-they] [They]1881-they ’re gone , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt turn an accusing eye on [her]2557-kate . ‘ [I]2557-kate ca n’t believe [you]2342-matt let [Sam]1914-sam in here . ’[2557-kate] [Her]2557-kate eyes widen . ‘ [I]2557-kate did n’t let [him]1914-sam in . And anyway , [your]2342-matt pills were n’t in there . [I]2557-kate would have seen [them]1881-they . ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt let out a frustrated yell and proceed to turn the rest of [my]2342-matt drawers inside out and upside down . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt put them in here . ‘ Shit ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ Chill out , [you]2342-matt can get some more . Are [Tom]60-tom and [Victoria]54-victoria coming ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scoop up the contents of [my]2342-matt underwear drawer and stuff it back in . ‘ [I]2342-matt already did that . And no , [they]1882-they both have dates . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Your]2342-matt organisation skills are shocking . ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate moans tiredly . [She]2557-kate ’s right , [they]1882-they are , but [I]2342-matt manage fine at work . It ’s the personal side of [my]2342-matt life that suffers . ‘ Oh , is it [Victoria]54-victoria and [Drew]327-jesse ’s date tonight ? ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate looks at [me]2342-matt with wide , blue eyes . ‘ Yes ! ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt meet [her]2557-kate wide eyes with [my]2342-matt own . ‘ It ’ll never work . Hurry up in that bath , [I]2342-matt need a shower . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt grab [my]2342-matt wine and head for [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom . The water is glorious , and [I]2342-matt wash [my]2342-matt hair with shampoo and conditioner . [I]2342-matt shave everywhere , and then reluctantly pull [myself]2342-matt out before downing [my]2342-matt wine and brushing [my]2342-matt teeth . An hour later , [I]2342-matt ’ve blow dried and curled [my]2342-matt hair , creamed up and got half a face of make - up on . [My]2342-matt door opens and [Kate]2557-kate ’s head pops around . ‘ How long ? ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate asks . [Her]2557-kate fire red hair is in rollers and [she]2557-kate looks at about the same stage of readiness as [me]2342-matt . ‘ Half hour , ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt confirm , opening [my]2342-matt underwear drawer . ‘ Cool . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate shuts the door . It opens again . ‘ What ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask , without looking up from finding suitable underwear . Within two seconds flat , [I]2342-matt ’m grabbed , [my]2342-matt towel is yanked from [my]2342-matt body and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] on [my]2342-matt back atop the bed with a hulking male looming over [me]2342-matt . WHOA ! [I]2342-matt ’m completely disorientated and still clinging onto a pair of knickers that [I]2342-matt was deliberating over . [I]2342-matt do n’t even have a chance to focus in on [his]2342-matt face . [His]2342-matt lips smash against [mine]2342-matt , starting to work [my]2342-matt mouth greedily . What the hell ? There ’s no chance to fight [him]2342-matt off or ask what [he]2342-matt ’s doing here . [He]2342-matt flips [me]2342-matt onto [my]2342-matt hands and knees , [his]2342-matt fingers slide over [my]2342-matt entrance – no doubt to check [my]2342-matt readiness – before [he]2342-matt undoes [his]2342-matt flies and slams into [me]2342-matt on a garbled yell . [I]2342-matt cry out , getting a hand clamped over [my]2342-matt mouth for [my]2342-matt trouble . ‘[2342-matt] Quiet . ’ [he]1884-he grates , through merciless pounds . Fucking hell ! [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] completely helpless as [he]1884-he thrusts in and out with complete determination and purpose . The depth [he]1884-he ’s hitting soon has [my]2342-matt vision blurry , [my]2342-matt head spinning with desperation and pleasure . [His]1884-he hand leaves [my]2342-matt mouth , returning to [my]2342-matt hips , pulling [me]2342-matt back against each of [his]1884-he hard advances . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt yell desperately . [He]1884-he ’s merciless . ‘ [I]1884-he said , quiet ! ’[1884-he] [he]1884-he barks . As [my]2342-matt pleasure builds and builds , [I]2342-matt find [myself]2342-matt pushing back against [him]1884-he . [He]1884-he groans on each thrust , powering forward at a mind blasting rate , colliding with [my]2342-matt womb and sending [me]2342-matt into a haze of shocked euphoria . [I]2342-matt try to grab a pillow , but [my]2342-matt disorientation has [me]2342-matt grappling at nothing but sheets . [I]2342-matt ca n’t find the strength to lift [my]2342-matt head and use [my]2342-matt eyes . [I]2342-matt ’m completely helpless . [I]2342-matt feel [his]1884-he grip on [me]2342-matt tighten , the tense and swell of [him]1884-he pounding into [me]2342-matt is stretching [me]2342-matt beyond comprehension . This is a possessive fuck . That ’s what this is . Not that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] bothered . [I]2342-matt might be helpless and at [his]1884-he mercy , but [I]2342-matt ’m still going to have a mind - bending orgasm . [His]1884-he thrusts speed up and with one last pump and deep slow grind , [I]2342-matt splitter straight down the middle , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] charged with a mind - blowing orgasm that has [me]2342-matt burying [my]2342-matt face in the mattress to stifle [my]2342-matt scream of release . [His]1884-he horse cry echoes around [the room]2350-the room as [he]1884-he joins [me]2342-matt in [my]2342-matt crazy bliss , collapsing on top of [me]2342-matt , panting loud in [my]2342-matt ear . [He]1884-he ’s jerking and shuddering inside and all around [me]2342-matt . That really was shock and awe . [I]2342-matt ’m completely depleted and grabbing at valuable air to give [my]2342-matt lungs some relief . [They]3358-they ’ve really been through [the mill]1028-the mill today . ‘[2342-matt] Please , tell [me]2342-matt that it ’s [you]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt pant , closing [my]2342-matt eyes , soaking up the warmth of [his]1884-he body through [his]1884-he suit . [He]1884-he has n’t even taken [his]1884-he jacket off . ‘[2342-matt] It ’s [me]2342-matt . ’ [he]1884-he breathes , moving [my]2342-matt hair from [my]2342-matt back and skimming [my]2342-matt bare skin with [his]1884-he tongue . [I]2342-matt sigh happily , letting [him]1884-he nibble and lick [me]2342-matt all over . ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t be having another shower . ’ [he]1884-he orders between tongue strokes . ‘[2342-matt] Why ? ’ [I]2342-matt frown into the sheets . [I]2342-matt wo n’t be , anyway – [I]2342-matt have n’t got time . [He]1884-he withdraws , flipping [me]2342-matt over and pinning [my]2342-matt wrists on either side of [my]2342-matt head . [He]1884-he gazes down at [me]2342-matt , [his]1884-he styled hair of this morning now in disarray , but [he]1884-he looks no worse for it . ‘[2342-matt] Because , [I]2342-matt want [me]2342-matt all over [you]1886-you when [you]1886-you ’re out . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt drops [his]2342-matt lips to [mine]2342-matt . Ah , [he]2342-matt ’s trampled [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt was bang on the money . [I]2342-matt should have known . [Crazy man]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt takes a whole other tactic with [my]2342-matt mouth , swirling [his]2342-matt tongue , humming into [me]2342-matt and nibbling [my]2342-matt lips . It ’s a world away from the ferocious attack [I]2342-matt ’ve just sustained . ‘ [Do men]3360-do men have an instinct for [recently fucked women]3361-recently fucked women ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask around [his]2342-matt lips . ‘ Mouth , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt pulls [his]2342-matt face back , giving [me]2342-matt a really disapproving look . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’ve had a drink . ’[2342-matt] Oh , shit ! ‘ No . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blurt guiltily . [He]2342-matt looks at [my]2342-matt wrists when [he]2342-matt feels the tense of [my]2342-matt natural reflex , then back at [me]2342-matt with an arched brow . ‘ No more . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt demands softly , giving [me]2342-matt another lavish kiss . ‘ [I]2342-matt was hoping to find [you]2342-matt in cream lace . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt hums through [our]1887-our joined mouths . [I]2342-matt ’m really glad [I]1888-i was n’t . It would be in pieces on the floor by now , and [I]1888-i really like it . [I]1888-i might be buying [me]1888-i some more of those , perhaps in different colours . [He]2342-matt releases one of [my]1888-i wrists , trailing [his]2342-matt finger down [my]1888-i side , over [my]1888-i sensitive hips and to the juncture of [my]1888-i thighs . ‘[1888-i] [You]1888-i would have ruined it . ’ [I]1888-i gasp when [he]2342-matt plunges two fingers into [me]1888-i . [I]1888-i ’ve not even recovered from [my]1888-i last mind numbing climax , and [I]1888-i ’m[1888-i] set to go on another . [This man]2342-matt is seriously talented . ‘ Probably , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt confirms as [he]2342-matt circles [me]2342-matt deeply , pushing [his]2342-matt fingers as far as [he]2342-matt can get them . ‘ Hmmm . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt sigh in total satisfaction , tensing [my]2342-matt legs underneath [him]2342-matt . ‘ Do n’t be wearing anything ridiculous either . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt throw [my]2342-matt hand out to grab [his]2342-matt shoulder and pull [him]2342-matt down to [my]2342-matt mouth , but [he]2342-matt wo n’t budge . [He]2342-matt ’s looking at [me]2342-matt expectantly and [I]2342-matt realise … [he]2342-matt ’s waiting for a confirmation that [I]2342-matt understand [his]2342-matt commands . ‘ [I]2342-matt wo n’t ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt cry desperately when [he]2342-matt hits [me]2342-matt with a delicious sweep of [his]2342-matt thumb over [my]2342-matt clitoris . ‘ Are [you]2342-matt going to come , [Ava]832-ava ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt yell at [his]2342-matt face . Any moment now , [I]2342-matt ’m going to have an en - core to [my]2342-matt previous release , and it ’s going to be equally as satisfying and earth shattering . ‘[2342-matt] Please ! ’ [He]2342-matt moves in closer , [his]2342-matt lips as close to [mine]2342-matt as [they]3362-they can be without touching . ‘[832-ava] Hmmm , that feel good , [baby]832-ava ? ’ [He]2342-matt pushes in deep and high , brushing [my]832-ava front wall . ‘[832-ava] Oh God ! ’ [I]327-jesse cry . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , please . ’ [I]327-jesse lift [my]327-jesse head to try and capture [his]2342-matt lips , but [he]2342-matt pulls back . ‘[327-jesse] [You]832-ava want [me]2342-matt ? ’ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] starting to burn , [my]2342-matt legs tensing as [he]2342-matt strokes between [my]2342-matt swelling lips . ‘ Yes . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Do [you]832-ava want to please [me]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes . [Jesse]327-jesse , please ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt cry . [I]2342-matt ’m completely stunned when [he]2342-matt withdraws [his]2342-matt fingers and rises from the bed . What ? No ! [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] on the cusp of falling over the edge , and just like that , [my]2342-matt pending orgasm has disappeared , leaving [me]2342-matt feeling like an unexploded bomb . ‘ What are [you]832-ava doing ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask in [my]2342-matt stunned state . ‘ [You]832-ava want [me]2342-matt to finish the job ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt cocks [his]2342-matt head , tucking [himself]2342-matt into [his]2342-matt trousers . ‘ Yes ! ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt eyes lock with [mine]2342-matt . ‘ Do n’t go out . ’[2342-matt] ‘ No ! ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt shrugs . ‘ [My]2342-matt work here is done . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt kisses the air , staring at [me]2342-matt through [his]2342-matt hooded , green pools , before [he]2342-matt turns and walks out . [I]2342-matt ’m flat on [my]2342-matt back , naked , feeling like [I]2342-matt ’ve been marked , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] desperate for release . [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]2342-matt ’s just done that . [I]2342-matt know what that was . That was a failed sense fuck followed up by a failed finger tease . It ’s a complete manipulation tactic . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll sort [myself]2342-matt out then ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout as the door slams behind [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt wo n’t . It would be nowhere near as satisfying if [I]2342-matt do it [myself]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt huff , taking [my]2342-matt naked body over to [my]2342-matt underwear drawer to find [my]2342-matt most racy set . Pink lace should do it . [I]2342-matt slip it on and retrieve the posh boutique bag , smiling as [I]2342-matt unfold the tissue paper that ’s protecting the five hundred pound , ultimate taboo dress . [She]1890-she who laughs last , [Mr Ward]327-jesse ! [I]2342-matt battle with the zip again , sort out [my]2342-matt half - finished make - up and present [myself]2342-matt to the mirror . [I]2342-matt ’m very pleased with [myself]2342-matt . The cream , silk taboo dress looks damn good , [my]2342-matt skin sun kissed , [my]2342-matt eyes dark and smoky and [my]2342-matt hair a mass of chocolate waves . [I]2342-matt slip [my]2342-matt feet into [my]2342-matt cream Carvella stilettos and spritz [myself]2342-matt with [Calvin Klein]242-calvin klein ’s Eternity . ‘[2342-matt] Fucking hell ! ’ [Kate]2557-kate screeches . [I]327-jesse turn to face [her]2557-kate , finding [her]2557-kate looking up and down [my]327-jesse tight , silk clad body . ‘[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse ’ll go mad ! ’ [I]327-jesse scoff . ‘[327-jesse] [The Lord of [the Manor]2356-the manor]3169-the lord of the manor can fuck right off ! ’ [Kate]2557-kate laughs . ‘[327-jesse] Oh , [you]3169-the lord of the manor are feeling brave . [I]2342-matt love it ! ’ [She]2557-kate walks in , looking [her]2557-kate usual stunning self , in a vivid green dress and navy heels . ‘[327-jesse] What did [he]327-jesse do to deserve this ? ’ ‘[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse left [me]2342-matt pre - orgasm after failing to fuck some sense into [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]327-jesse toss it out there casually . [I]327-jesse ca n’t believe [I]327-jesse just admitted that . [Kate]2557-kate falls onto the bed in a helpless heap of laughter . [I]327-jesse ca n’t help but laugh with [her]2557-kate . [I]327-jesse suppose it is quite funny . ‘[327-jesse] [God]68-god love [him]327-jesse , ’ [she]2557-kate splutters through [her]2557-kate hysteria . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m glad [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not the only one enjoying the best sex [I]2342-matt ’ve ever had . ’ [She]2557-kate wipes the laughter tears from under [her]2557-kate eyes . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not at all surprised to hear that – not at all . [Sam]1914-sam is n’t walking around [[her]1893-her apartment]1894-her apartment , semi - naked and with that dirty grin on [his]1914-sam face , because [she]1893-her ’s making [him]1914-sam lots of cakes . ‘ [He]1914-sam has [me]1893-her in knots . ’[1893-her] [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head , returning to the mirror to apply [my]2342-matt nude lipstick . ‘ Have [we]3363-we figured out how old [he]1914-sam is yet ? ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate picks up [my]2342-matt bronzer brush to give [her]2557-kate pale cheeks an extra dusting . ‘ No idea . It ’s a no go subject , just like the scar on [his]1914-sam stomach . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate pinches [her]2557-kate cheeks . ‘ Does it matter ? And what scar ? ’[2557-kate] ‘ No , it does n’t . And the scar is quite a nasty affair from [here]314-here to [here]314-here . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt run [my]2342-matt finger from the middle of [my]2342-matt lower stomach to [my]2342-matt hip bone . [She]2557-kate looks at [me]2342-matt in the reflection of the mirror . ‘ [You]2557-kate ’re[2557-kate] in love with [him]1895-him . ’ ‘[2557-kate] Crazily , ’ [I]2557-kate admit . Chapter 32 [We]1897-we bowl past the bouncers of [Baroque]130-baroque in fits of giggles . [We]1897-we ’re[2557-kate] not in the least bit drunk , but the laughter is just rolling tonight . ‘ What are [you]2557-kate having ? ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate asks as [a waiter]2556-a waiter approaches [us]1897-we at [the bar]361-the bar . ‘ Wine , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt answer , smiling to [myself]2342-matt . That was easy . [Kate]2557-kate gets served and [we]1897-we make [our]1897-we way through the Friday night crowd to find the last available table at the back of [the bar]361-the bar . [I]2342-matt gingerly lift [myself]2342-matt onto the bar stool , keeping a good grip of the hem on [my]2342-matt dress . It really is taboo . ‘ So , tell [me]2342-matt . [Sam]1914-sam ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask off - the - cuff . [I]2342-matt know there ’s more to this than sex . [I]2342-matt think [both of [them]1899-both of them]1899-both of them have met [their]1899-both of them match . [I]2342-matt do n’t know [Sam]1914-sam , but [I]2342-matt know [Kate]2557-kate very well , and for [her]2557-kate to be dedicating so much time to [a man]340-a man , [he]340-a man must be pretty special . All [I]2342-matt know about [Sam]1914-sam is that [he]1914-sam has a cheeky grin and [he]1914-sam likes to run around half naked . [She]2557-kate has n’t spent so much time with [a man]340-a man since [[my]2342-matt brother]2486-my brother . [I]2342-matt smile at [his]1914-sam impending arrival . [I]2342-matt ca n’t wait to see [him]1914-sam , but [I]2342-matt wo n’t be talking about [Dan]93-dan tonight – not with [Kate]2557-kate . [She]2557-kate shrugs . ‘ Fun , ’[2557-kate] ‘ Come on ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt exclaim . ‘ [I]2557-kate ’ve divulged far too much information on [Jesse]327-jesse . Give [me]2557-kate something ! ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate sips [her]2557-kate wine , placing it back down on the table casually . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [he]1914-sam ’s not [the sort of man [you]3366-you settle down with]3365-the sort of man you settle down with . [I]2557-kate ’ll take the fun while it lasts , but [I]2557-kate wo n’t be getting attached . ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt inwardly hiss as [Kate]2557-kate reminds [me]2342-matt of [Sarah]54-victoria ’s words about building dreams . ‘ How do [you]54-victoria know ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask , trying to reign in [my]2342-matt drifting thoughts . ‘ [I]2557-kate just do . ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate says on a half laugh . [I]2342-matt ’m a bit disappointed , if [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] honest . [She]2557-kate ’s lively , amazingly laid back and completely uninhibited – all of the things that [Sam]1914-sam seems to be . Well , from what [I]2342-matt ’ve seen – which is quite a lot . What ’s the issue ? ‘ [I]2342-matt like [him]1914-sam . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt admit . [He]1914-sam might be [an exhibitionist]1439-an exhibitionist and a complete pest , but [he]1914-sam ’s very endearing with it . ‘ Well , [I]2342-matt like [Jesse]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt laugh . Yes [she]2557-kate would like [him]1914-sam . [He]1914-sam brought [her]2557-kate [a van]3091-a van . But then [I]2342-matt recoil . ‘ [You]2557-kate do n’t like [him]1914-sam like that do [you]2557-kate ? ’[2342-matt] Oh God , [I]2342-matt ’d never thought that [Kate]2557-kate might be attracted to [him]1914-sam . Well , [everyone]282-everyone ’s attracted to [him]1914-sam . [I]2342-matt ’ve been to the receiving end of numerous sneers from [admiring women]1905-admiring women , but [I]2342-matt never thought , not for a moment , that [Kate]2557-kate might look at [him]1914-sam like that . ‘ No ! ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate looks at [me]2342-matt all offended . ‘ [I]2557-kate like how much [he]1914-sam clearly loves [you]2557-kate . ’[2557-kate] ‘ What ? [He]1914-sam does n’t love [me]2342-matt , [Kate]2557-kate . [He]1914-sam loves to fuck [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt take a long glug of wine to dull the affect that [Kate]2557-kate ’s statement ’s had on [me]2342-matt . Or is it the affect of [my]2342-matt alternative statement ? [Clearly]243-clearly loves [me]2342-matt , or clearly loves to control [me]2342-matt ? ‘ [Ava]832-ava , again , [you]1344-the master of denial ’re[1344-the master of denial] [the master of denial]1344-the master of denial . ’ ‘[1344-the master of denial] How old do [you]1344-the master of denial think [he]1344-the master of denial is ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . [Kate]2557-kate shrugs . ‘[2342-matt] Mid - thirties , [I]2342-matt ’m going for a quick fag . ’[1344-the master of denial] [She]1344-the master of denial slips down from the stool , retrieving [her]1344-the master of denial cigarettes from [her]1344-the master of denial bag . ‘ Wait here , [we]3367-we do n’t want to lose the table . ’[1344-the master of denial] [She]1344-the master of denial makes [her]1344-the master of denial way to [the smoking area]1907-the smoking area , leaving [me]2342-matt pondering [my]2342-matt diabolical situation . [I]2342-matt ’m in love with [the trampling , unreasonable control freak]3368-the trampling , unreasonable control freak . [I]2342-matt knew [I]2342-matt should have stayed away from [him]1908-he . [I]2342-matt ca n’t help but think that [I]2342-matt could have easily rebuffed , denied and walked away from any other man . [Jesse]327-jesse is another story entirely , though . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] addicted to [him]1908-he , and [I]2342-matt ’m not sure it ’s healthy . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] dragged from [my]2342-matt brief thoughts by a very familiar voice . It ’s also a most unwelcome voice . [I]2342-matt swivel on [my]2342-matt tight , silk clad butt . ‘ Hi , [Matt]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt sound way more pleased to see [him]1908-he than [I]2342-matt actually am . ‘ Shit , [Ava]832-ava . [You]2342-matt look great . ’[1908-he] [He]1908-he runs [his]1908-he smutty eyes up and down [my]2342-matt body , making [me]2342-matt feel highly uncomfortable and conspicuous . How does [he]1908-he make [my]2342-matt skin crawl now ? [I]2342-matt loved [him]1908-he for four years . Or did [I]2342-matt ? What [I]2342-matt felt for [Matt]2342-matt seems to have paled into insignificance compared to how [I]2342-matt ’m feeling about a certain Mr Control Freak of an age that [I]2342-matt still do n’t know . ‘[2342-matt] Thanks , how are [you]1909-i ? ’ [I]1909-i ask politely , taking in [his]1908-he shirt and black jeans . [I]1909-i hate those jeans , and the shirt looks cheap and nasty . ‘[1909-i] Really good , thanks . What have [you]1909-i been up to ? ’ Fucking . Lots of amazing fucking ! ‘[1909-i] Not a lot . Working heaps , looking for a new place . ’ [I]1909-i ’m[1909-i] lying , of course . [I]2342-matt ’ve not even visited [a letting agent]1910-a letting agent . [Matt]2342-matt does n’t pick up on [my]2342-matt hair being coiled around [my]2342-matt finger . [He]1908-he never did pick up on [my]2342-matt hair twiddling habit - a sign , maybe ? ‘ Is the job going well ? ’[1908-he] [He]1908-he rests [his]1908-he elbows on the edge of the table , getting way too close to [my]2342-matt personal space . [My]2342-matt back straightens , pulling [me]2342-matt away , and [I]2342-matt pray for [Kate]2557-kate ’s quick return . [He]1908-he ’ll soon scarper if [Kate]2557-kate makes an appearance . ‘ Yes , really good , thanks ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt reply , while deliberating on asking [him]1908-he the same question . After [he]1908-he called and told [me]2342-matt about the redundancies being made at [[his]1908-he work place]1911-his work place , [I]2342-matt suppose [I]2342-matt should , but [I]2342-matt do n’t want to get too tied up in conversation . [He]1908-he smiles brightly – it ’s false . ‘ Great . Listen , [I]1908-he just wanted to apologise again . [I]1908-he was out of line . [I]1908-he would n’t blame [you]3369-you if [you]3369-you told [me]1908-he to fuck off . ’[1908-he] Fuck off ! ‘ It ’s fine , [Matt]2342-matt . Do n’t worry about it . ’[1908-he] ‘ Cool . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt inwardly vomit when [James]218-james walks over to join [us]1912-us , looking at [me]2342-matt with the contempt [I]2342-matt feel for [him]218-james . [He]218-james can go and take a leap ! [I]2342-matt smile sweetly , repositioning [myself]2342-matt on the stool with caution . This dress is ridiculous , and while [I]2342-matt felt perfectly comfortable up until [Matt]2342-matt found [me]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt now feel over exposed and vulnerable under the scrutinising glares of [[my]2342-matt ex]450-my ex and [[his]2342-matt friend]1914-sam . ‘ [James]218-james . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt nod in acknowledgment to [his]2342-matt presence . ‘ [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt retorts . [His]2342-matt cold tone does n’t escape [my]2342-matt notice . [He]2342-matt must have told [Matt]2342-matt about [his]2342-matt encounter with [me]2342-matt and [a tall , blonde , aggressive type]1915-a tall , blonde , aggressive type , so why is [Matt]2342-matt being so pleasant ? ‘ Can [I]2342-matt buy [you]2342-matt a drink for old times ’[2342-matt] sake ? ’ [Matt]2342-matt offers . ‘[2342-matt] No , honestly , [I]2342-matt ’m good . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt hold up [my]2342-matt half full glass of wine . For old times ’ sake ? What ? Like a celebration of how much of a knob [he]2342-matt was ? Please ! [I]1916-i do n’t see [her]832-ava , but [I]1916-i know [she]832-ava ’s near . The sudden ice that emanates from [Matt]2342-matt ’s body is potent . [James]218-james is no better . [He]218-james and [Kate]2557-kate did n’t exactly see eye to eye either . ‘[1916-i] What the fuck are [you]1916-i doing here ? ’ [she]832-ava shouts as [she]832-ava approaches . [My]2557-kate shoulders tense . ‘[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate , [we]1917-we ’re fine . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt placate [[my]2342-matt fiery , red headed friend]1918-my fiery , red headed friend . ‘ [I]2342-matt was just leaving . ’[2342-matt] [Matt]2342-matt hisses . ‘ Fuck off then ! ’[1918-my fiery , red headed friend] [He]1918-my fiery , red headed friend returns [his]1918-my fiery , red headed friend eyes to [me]2342-matt . ‘ It was nice to see [you]1918-my fiery , red headed friend , [Ava]832-ava . ’[1918-my fiery , red headed friend] ‘ [You]1918-my fiery , red headed friend too , [Matt]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile . What would be the point in being hostile ? [The bloke]1919-the bloke ’s sorry – [I]2342-matt think . Oh , whatever . [He]1919-the bloke ’s out of [my]2342-matt life , and [I]2342-matt ca n’t be doing with the drama . [I]2342-matt laugh to [myself]2342-matt . [My]2342-matt life is one big dramatization at the moment . [Matt]2342-matt and [James]218-james leave [me]2342-matt in peace , until [Kate]2557-kate lets loose . ‘ What are [you]2557-kate doing talking to that snake ? ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate blurts across the table , as [she]2557-kate lifts [herself]2557-kate onto [her]2557-kate stool . ‘ [He]1920-lord was just saying hello . [He]1920-lord was being polite . ’[2557-kate] [My]2342-matt bored tone will probably irritate [her]2557-kate more . [She]2557-kate ’s a firecracker ! ‘ [I]2557-kate could n’t give a shit ! ’[2557-kate] [My]2342-matt face wrinkles . ‘ [You]1920-lord sound like [Jesse]327-jesse . ’[1920-lord] [Lord]1920-lord , [I]2342-matt do n’t need [a challenging best friend]1921-a challenging best friend to match [[my]2342-matt challenging man]1922-my challenging man . [She]2557-kate huffs a little before swigging [her]2557-kate wine . [I]2342-matt join [her]2557-kate , finishing off [my]2342-matt own glass . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll get another , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt take some money from [my]2342-matt clutch . ‘ Watch [my]2342-matt bag . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt make [my]2342-matt way to [bar]361-the bar to order another round of drinks and wait patiently for [the barman]1167-the barman to get [my]2342-matt order . ‘ All right , love . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes and turn , finding a stocky , slimy , over confident type , giving [me]2342-matt the look . ‘ Hello . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say courteously , turning back to [the bar]361-the bar as [the barman]1167-the barman places [our]1925-our wine in front of [me]2342-matt . ‘ Thanks . ’[1167-the barman] [I]2342-matt hand [him]1167-the barman a twenty and take a swig , all the time feeling slimy man next to [me]2342-matt dribbling into [his]1167-the barman pint . [My]2342-matt skin starts to crawl . [I]2342-matt mentally plead for [the bar man]1167-the barman to hurry with [my]2342-matt change , and even consider the merits of abandoning [my]2342-matt money in favour of retreat . ‘ Fancy a dance ? ’[1167-the barman] ‘ No , thank [you]1167-the barman . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile , grab [my]2342-matt change from [the barman]1167-the barman and make a hasty get away . [He]1167-the barman gives [me]2342-matt a disgruntled look , but [he]1167-the barman does n’t push [his]1167-the barman luck . This is [my]2342-matt third glass of wine . [I]2342-matt really am being [a rebel]1926-a rebel . Oh well . After [Jesse]327-jesse ’s performance at [home]281-home , [I]2342-matt ’m on a private defiance mission to have the last say . A few hours later , [the bar crowd]3370-the bar crowd is thinning out and [we]1928-we ’re[2342-matt] probably on [our]1928-we third bottle of wine . [We]1928-we ’re giggling like [a pair of teenagers]3371-a pair of teenagers , and [I]1928-we ’m[1928-we] getting pretty brave with [my]2342-matt questioning . ‘ Were [you]3372-you really tied to the bed ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask cheekily . The grin that spreads across [her]1929-her face tells [me]2342-matt [I]2342-matt was n’t having [my]2342-matt leg pulled . [I]2342-matt ’m not even that shocked . It must be the affect of the alcohol , or it could be all the steamy sex [I]2342-matt ’ve been getting [myself]2342-matt lately . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt knew it , ’ [I]2342-matt laugh . ‘[2342-matt] [You]1930-she need to tell [him]1930-she to put some clothes on when [he]1930-she ’s wandering around [the flat]420-the flat . [I]2342-matt do n’t know where to look . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]1930-she mad ? ’ [Her]1929-her eyes bug at [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] What a waste of a fine physic ! ’ [Kate]2557-kate looks off into the distance , obviously recalling a mental image . Yes , it is pretty fine , but it does n’t mean [I]1930-she want to look at it . [I]1930-she ’ve got [my]1930-she own super fine physic to look at . Speaking of which , [I]1930-she ’m[1930-she] drunk and [I]2342-matt want to see [him]1930-she . [I]2342-matt might call [him]1930-she . But then [I]2342-matt remember … [I’m]2342-matt not supposed to be drinking . [Pah]108-pah ! [I]2342-matt take another swig of wine . ‘ What does [he]1930-she do , anyway ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [He]1930-she drives a Porsche and never seems to be at work . [She]1930-she shrugs . ‘ [Rich orphan]3373-rich orphan . ’[1930-she] ‘ [Orphan]244-orphan ? ’[108-pah] ‘ Apparently , ’[1930-she] [she]1930-she begins thoughtfully , ‘ [[his]3373-rich orphan parents]3374-his parents died in a car accident when [he]3373-rich orphan was nineteen . [He]3373-rich orphan has [no siblings]3375-no family , [no family]3375-no family , nothing . [He]3373-rich orphan lives off [his]3373-rich orphan inheritance and plays very hard . ’[1930-she] [She]1930-she smirks again . God , [Sam]1914-sam ’s [an orphan]1932-an orphan ? [I]2342-matt ca n’t imagine losing [[my]2342-matt parents]2490-my parents at that age . Or any age , in fact . That must have been awful . And with [no family]3375-no family to take [him]1932-an orphan in ? [I]2342-matt suddenly see the cheeky chap in a very different light . [You]1935-you would never know something so dreadful had happened to [him]1932-an orphan ; [he]1932-an orphan ’s always smiling and joking . ‘ How old is [he]1932-an orphan ? ’[1932-an orphan] [I]2342-matt ask . ‘ Thirty , ’[1930-she] [she]1930-she answers , almost reluctantly , like [she]1930-she feels guilty for knowing the age of [the man [she]1930-she ’s screwing]1936-the man she ’s screwing . [I]2342-matt let it pass . It ’s not [Kate]2557-kate ’s fault that [I]2342-matt ’m clueless . ‘[2342-matt] What do [you]1935-you make of [Drew]327-jesse ? ’ [Her]1930-she eyebrows jump up . ‘[1932-an orphan] [He]1932-an orphan ’s a bit straight and aloof , is n’t [he]1932-an orphan ? ’ ‘[1932-an orphan] Yes ! ’ [I]2342-matt exclaim . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] glad [I]2342-matt ’m not the only one who finds [him]1932-an orphan this way . ‘[54-victoria] Not [Victoria]54-victoria ’s type at all . ’ ‘[54-victoria] Give it two dates , maximum , ’ [Kate]2557-kate points [her]2557-kate glass at [me]1930-she , sloshing a bit on the table . ‘[1930-she] [She]1930-she ’ll bore [him]1932-an orphan to death with a run by run account of [her]1930-she latest visit to [the tanning salon]1937-the tanning salon . ’ ‘[1930-she] [She]1930-she ’s getting more orange by the week . ’ [I]1930-she laugh . ‘[1930-she] That ’s not orange , [[my]2342-matt friend]1342-my friend . ’ Another splash of wine hits the table . ‘[1930-she] That ’s mahogany . [He]1342-my friend ’ll never be able to find [her]1930-she in the dark . And yes , [she]1930-she only does it in the dark . ’ ‘[1930-she] No ! ’ ‘[1930-she] Oh , yes . Something about cellulite and bed head . It ’s pretty painful . The last bloke [she]1930-she was seeing said [she]1930-she got up an hour before [him]1932-an orphan so [she]1930-she could have a shower , sort [her]1930-she hair out and get a full face of make - up on before [he]1932-an orphan woke up . ’ ‘[1932-an orphan] That ’s ridiculous ! ’ [She]1930-she nods . ‘[1932-an orphan] Hey , has [Jesse]327-jesse mentioned anything about a party at [The Manor]2356-the manor ? ’ ‘[1932-an orphan] Yes ! ’ [I]1932-an orphan blurt , seriously considering telling [her]1930-she that [I]1932-an orphan ’ve been bribed into going . Oh , please say [Sam]1914-sam ’s asked [Kate]2557-kate to go . That will make [my]1932-an orphan night a lot more bearable . ‘[1932-an orphan] Are [you]1940-you going ? ’ ‘[1932-an orphan] Damn right [I]2342-matt am ! [I]2342-matt ca n’t wait to see [the place]308-the place . ’ [Her]2557-kate eyes dance with excitement . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt think a shopping trip is in order . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Oh , [I]2342-matt ’ll probably make do with something [I]2342-matt ’ve got in [my]2342-matt wardrobe . ’ [I]2342-matt shrug . [I]2342-matt ’ve just spent five hundred quid on this stupid , miniscule dress . [I]2342-matt go to lean back on [my]2342-matt stool , swiftly remembering there ’s no back support , prompting [me]2342-matt to [I]2342-matt grab the edge of the table . [My]2342-matt wine flies up in the air . ‘[2342-matt] Shit ! ’ [I]2342-matt cry , just managing to save [myself]2342-matt from falling arse first to the floor . [I]2342-matt join [Kate]2557-kate in [her]2557-kate helpless laughter , both [our]1943-we wine glasses swishing about as [we]1943-we titter and splutter like [a pair of drunken teenagers , who ’ve over indulged on cider]3376-a pair of drunken teenagers , who ’ve over indulged on cider . [I]2342-matt need to stop drinking , right now . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] on the cusp on falling over the edge of merriment and into the realms of slurring and staggering . With [[my]2342-matt unreasonable Lord]1942-my unreasonable lord due at eight in the morning , [I]2342-matt need to ensure [I]2342-matt ’m hangover free . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt think [we]1943-we need to call it a night . ’ [I]2342-matt hint in [my]2342-matt most diplomatic tone . [Kate]2557-kate nods [her]2557-kate agreement around the rim of [her]2557-kate wine glass . ‘[2342-matt] Yep , [I]2342-matt ’m done . ’[1944-she] [She]1944-she slips off the stool and staggers towards [me]2342-matt . Okay , it looks like [Kate]2557-kate ’s already slipped into staggering territory . ‘ Oh , [I]1944-she love this track . Let ’s dance ! ’[1944-she] [she]1944-she screeches , pulling [me]2342-matt towards [the dance floor]2859-the dance floor so [she]1944-she can perform [her]1944-she own little Moves like [Jagger]245-jagger . ‘ [Kate]2557-kate , there ’s [no one on the dance floor]3377-no one on the dance floor ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt complain . There ’s almost [no one in [the bar]361-the bar]1946-no one in the bar either . ‘ Who cares ? ’[1944-she] [she]1944-she argues , stumbling towards the music , taking [me]2342-matt with [her]1944-she . ‘ [We]1948-we ’ll go after thi … Oh ! ’[1944-she] [She]1944-she clatters to the ground , dragging [me]2342-matt down with [her]1944-she on a yelp . ‘ Sorry ! ’[1944-she] [she]1944-she laughs . [We]1948-we both lay sprawled on [our]1948-we backs across the floor , giggling and looking up at the dim lights of [the bar]361-the bar . [I]2342-matt would be embarrassed … if [I]2342-matt was n’t so tipsy . What must [we]1948-we look like ? [Neither one of [us]1948-we]3127-neither one of us makes any rushed attempt to scramble to [our]1948-we feet . ‘ Do [you]2342-matt think [the bouncers]3378-the bouncers will come and help [us]1948-we up ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt splutter over [my]2342-matt laughter . [Kate]2557-kate wipes a tear away . ‘ [I]2557-kate do n’t know . Shall [we]1948-we yell ? ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate reaches over for [my]2342-matt arm to support [herself]2557-kate as [she]2557-kate heaves [her]2557-kate body up to a sitting position . ‘ Oh , shit . ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate curses , [her]2557-kate tone altering considerably from mischievous to serious . ‘ What ? ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt push [myself]2342-matt up to find out what [we]1948-we are oh shitting about , only to discover [Jesse]327-jesse looming over [us]1948-we , arms folded across [his]327-jesse chest , with an extremely irked look on [his]327-jesse handsome face . Oh shit , indeed . [I]2342-matt clamp [my]2342-matt lips together for fear of laughing and pissing [him]327-jesse off further . ‘ Oh no , that ’s [me]2342-matt grounded for a month . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt titter in a low voice for only [Kate]2557-kate to hear . [She]2557-kate spits all over [the place]308-the place as [she]2557-kate tries to suppress [her]2557-kate laugh , and [I]2342-matt lose the battle to restrain [mine]2342-matt . [We]1948-we both sit on the floor of the bar like a pair of drunken hyenas , whilst the colour in [Jesse]327-jesse ’s face gets redder by the second . [Kate]2557-kate laughs harder when [Sam]1914-sam rocks up next to [Jesse]327-jesse , rolling [his]327-jesse eyes . Why ca n’t [[my]2342-matt man]74-a god give [me]2342-matt an eye roll , instead of standing there looking like [he]74-a god ’s going to self - combust ? [I]2342-matt ’m not even that drunk . [[My]2557-kate current location]3379-my current location is only courtesy of [[my]2557-kate delinquent best friend]74-a god leading [me]2557-kate astray . [A burly , skin head bouncer]3380-a burly , skin head bouncer approaches . [He]74-a god looks evil . [I]2557-kate nudge [Kate]2557-kate with [my]2557-kate elbow to signal [our]1953-our imminent ejection from [the bar]361-the bar . ‘[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate , if [they]1952-they do n’t allow [us]1953-our in for lunch anymore , then [I]2342-matt ’ll be really pissed . ’ [I]2557-kate love [Baroque]130-baroque ’s BLT sandwich . ‘[2557-kate] [You]2557-kate ’re already pissed . ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate snorts , making another attempt to get up , using [me]2342-matt as a prop . ‘ [Jesse]327-jesse , sort [[your]2557-kate woman]3382-your woman out . ’[2557-kate] The bouncer drawls , clasping [Jesse]327-jesse ’s hand in greeting . ‘ Oh , do n’t worry , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse hits [me]2342-matt with [his]327-jesse most menacing glare . ‘ [She]2557-kate ’ll be sorted out . Thanks for the call , [Jay]246-jay . ’[327-jesse] What ? ‘ Come on , [you]2557-kate pest . ’[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam jibes [Kate]2557-kate , hoisting [her]2557-kate up . [She]2557-kate throws [her]2557-kate arms around [his]327-jesse neck , giggling in [his]327-jesse face . ‘ Take [me]2557-kate to bed , [Samuel]1914-sam . [You]1914-sam can tie [me]2557-kate up again . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate flops against [him]327-jesse like a beanbag . [I]2342-matt watch as [Sam]1914-sam restrains [his]327-jesse laughter at [Kate]2557-kate ’s performance , but [he]327-jesse ’s not suppressing the chuckles because [he]327-jesse ’s mad with [Kate]2557-kate . Oh no , [he]327-jesse ’s keeping a lid on it because of [Jesse]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse ’s trampling on [my]2342-matt night again . [I]2342-matt was n’t expecting to see [him]327-jesse until eight in the morning , so [he]327-jesse would never have known that [I]2342-matt got [myself]2342-matt a little pissed . And what ’s all this business with [the bouncer]1954-the bouncer calling [him]327-jesse ? [I]2342-matt return [my]2342-matt tipsy gaze to [Mr Unreasonable]327-jesse , pulling [my]2342-matt best hacked off face . [His]327-jesse eyes are bulging . [I]2342-matt follow [his]327-jesse glare down at the ultimate taboo dress . Oh dear , [I]2342-matt ’ve contravened on two orders . [I]2342-matt probably really will be grounded . [I]2342-matt start giggling again . ‘ Up , now . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse snarls through a ticking jaw . ‘ Oh , lighten up , [you]327-jesse bore ! ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt chide , more confidently than [I]2342-matt ’m feeling . [I]2342-matt put [my]2342-matt hand out to [him]327-jesse for some help , knowing [he]327-jesse wo n’t leave [me]2342-matt to struggle . [He]327-jesse sighs , shaking [his]327-jesse head in a demonstration to [his]327-jesse exasperation , before reaching down to pull [me]2342-matt up . [His]327-jesse eyes widen further when [he]327-jesse gets the full frontal impact of the taboo dress . [I]2342-matt start giggling again . It ’ll probably need a trip to the dry cleaners now , after [I]2342-matt ’ve rolled around on the dirty bar floor . [I]2342-matt calm [myself]2342-matt down . ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]1955-you mad at [me]2342-matt ? ’ [I]832-ava look up at [him]327-jesse in [my]832-ava tipsy state , batting [my]832-ava eyelashes as [I]832-ava grip the front of [his]327-jesse grey suit . Has [he]327-jesse not been [home]281-home at all today ? ‘[832-ava] Crazy mad , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]327-jesse says threateningly , grabbing [my]832-ava elbow and leading [me]832-ava out of [the bar]361-the bar . [I]832-ava spot the bouncer who stitched [me]832-ava up and narrow [my]832-ava eyes on [him]327-jesse when [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] guided past . [He]1956-he claps hands with [Jesse]327-jesse , giving [me]2342-matt a disapproving head shake . Oh , fuck off ! [We]1957-we find [Sam]1914-sam helping [Kate]2557-kate into the front seat of [[his]1956-he Porsche]3028-his porsche , holding the top of [her]2557-kate head as [he]1956-he lowers [her]2557-kate in . [She]2557-kate ’s still giggling . It sets [me]2342-matt off again . ‘ [Samuel]1914-sam , tonight is [your]1914-sam lucky night ! ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate sings as [Sam]1914-sam shuts [her]2557-kate in . [I]2342-matt might [me]2342-matt tipsy , but [I]2342-matt know there ’ll be no action in [[Kate]2557-kate ’s bedroom]1959-kate ’s bedroom tonight . [Jesse]327-jesse and [Sam]1914-sam exchange goodbyes , [Jesse]327-jesse keeping a firm grip of [my]2342-matt elbow . ‘ See [ya]1586-chick , [chick]1586-chick . ’[327-jesse] [Sam]1914-sam pecks [my]2342-matt cheek , flashing [me]2342-matt a quick private grin . [I]2342-matt acknowledge it with [my]2342-matt own , while concentrating hard on not laughing and pissing off [[my]2342-matt unreasonable man]1960-my unreasonable man any more than necessary . [I]2342-matt ’m lead to [[Jesse]327-jesse ’s car]3284-jesse ’s car , placed in the front seat , gently but firmly , and all in complete silence . [He]1960-my unreasonable man looks really mad , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] drunk and defiant , so [I]2342-matt do n’t care . [He]1960-my unreasonable man reaches across [me]2342-matt for [my]2342-matt seatbelt , and [I]2342-matt insolently bat [him]1960-my unreasonable man away . ‘ [I]1960-my unreasonable man can put a seat belt on . ’[1960-my unreasonable man] [I]2342-matt grumble moodily . [I]2342-matt get landed with a don’t - push - [me]2342-matt - look so , probably quite wisely , [I]2342-matt place [my]2342-matt hands in [my]2342-matt lap , letting [him]1960-my unreasonable man lean across [me]2342-matt to secure the belt . [I]2342-matt steal an inhale of [his]1960-my unreasonable man scent . ‘ [You]1960-my unreasonable man smell delicious . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt inform [him]1960-my unreasonable man quietly . [He]1960-my unreasonable man pulls back , [his]1960-my unreasonable man face still straight , [his]1960-my unreasonable man eyes still simmering with displeasure . But [he]1960-my unreasonable man does n’t say a word . [He]1960-my unreasonable man ’s giving [me]2342-matt the silent treatment . How mature ! [He]1960-my unreasonable man slams [my]2342-matt door and slides in behind the wheel , pulling into the traffic haphazardly and with no consideration for [other road users]1592-other road users . ‘ [[Kate]2557-kate ’s house]2988-kate ’s house is that way . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt point out , as [he]1960-my unreasonable man roars off in the wrong direction . ‘ And ? ’[1960-my unreasonable man] Is the terse one word answer [I]2342-matt get spat at [me]2342-matt . Oh , for the love of [God]68-god . ‘ And … it ’s where [I]2342-matt live . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt state firmly . [He]1960-my unreasonable man ’s not completely trampling [my]2342-matt night . [Kate]2557-kate and [I]2342-matt have some of [our]1962-our best discussions over a post alcohol cup of tea . ‘ [You]1963-i ’re[2557-kate] staying at [mine]2342-matt . ’ [He]1960-my unreasonable man does n’t even look at [me]2557-kate . ‘[2557-kate] No , that was n’t part of the deal . ’ [I]2557-kate remind [him]1960-my unreasonable man . ‘[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt have until eight in the morning before [you]1963-i distract [me]2342-matt again . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve changed the deal . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]1963-i ca n’t change the deal ! ’ [He]1960-my unreasonable man slowly turns [his]1960-my unreasonable man face to [mine]2342-matt . ‘[1963-i] [You]1963-i did . ’ [I]1963-i recoil , giving [him]1960-my unreasonable man [my]1963-i most disgusted look , but [I]1963-i ca n’t think of anything to say . [He]1960-my unreasonable man ’s right , [I]1963-i did break the rules of the deal , but that ’s only because [his]1960-my unreasonable man conditions are so fucking unreasonable ! [I]1963-i sit back in the soft , quilted leather and give up . It ’s only eight - ish hours until eight o’clock anyway . [We]3388-we pull up at [Lusso]66-lusso and [I]1963-i groan . The only time [Clive]101-clive ever sees [me]1963-i is when [I]1963-i ’m[1963-i] drunk or being carried in from exhaustion . [I]2342-matt open the door and take cautious steps , lifting [myself]2342-matt to a standing position . [Jesse]327-jesse is watching [me]2342-matt closely . No doubt , waiting for [me]2342-matt to stumble so [he]327-jesse can scoop [me]2342-matt up and give [Clive]101-clive the impression that [I]2342-matt ’m blotto again . Well , [he]327-jesse ’ll be disappointed . [I]2342-matt shut the door softly and start walking towards [the foyer]2536-the foyer . [I]2342-matt must not stagger , [I]2342-matt must not stagger . [I]2342-matt reach [the foyer]2536-the foyer , still in a vertical position , and give [Clive]101-clive a polite nod as [I]2342-matt pass , but [he]327-jesse does n’t say a word . [He]327-jesse nods back at [me]2342-matt , and then flicks [his]327-jesse eyes to [Jesse]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt know when [he]327-jesse puts [his]327-jesse head back down , without so much as a greeting , that [he]327-jesse must have clocked [Jesse]327-jesse ’s fierce face . [I]2342-matt huff to [myself]2342-matt , enter [the elevator]780-the elevator and wait courteously for [Jesse]327-jesse to step inside . ‘[2342-matt] [You]1964-you need to get this code changed . ’ [I]1965-he mutter , punching in the developer code . [He]327-jesse only has to notify security and [they]3391-they ’ll see to it immediately . [He]327-jesse does n’t say a word . Oh , [he]327-jesse ’s really working the silent treatment well . [I]1965-he look up , finding [him]327-jesse staring at [me]1965-he , studying [me]1965-he closely , completely expressionless . [I]1965-he ’m[1965-he] certain that [he]1965-he ’s about to pounce and give [me]2342-matt some sort of [Jesse]327-jesse style fuck . Would [he]1965-he be fucking sense into [me]2342-matt , or would it be a reminder fuck ? Oh , it ’ll probably be an apology fuck ! [My]2342-matt tipsy brain relishes the thought , but then the elevator doors open and [he]1965-he steps out before [me]2342-matt , leaving [me]2342-matt to follow behind . [I]2342-matt ’m shocked . [I]2342-matt would have put [my]2342-matt life on the certainty of being jumped . Oh well , [we]3392-we ’re[2342-matt] not in [[his]1965-he apartment]1576-his apartment yet . [He]1965-he opens the door and strolls in , without so much as looking at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m left to shut the door behind [me]2342-matt and follow [him]1965-he into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , where [I]2342-matt find [him]1965-he grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge . [He]1965-he takes a few swigs before thrusting it at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt do n’t bother pushing it away . Last Saturday and the memory of [my]2342-matt aching head when [I]2342-matt came around is enough of a motive to accept [his]1965-he offering . [I]2342-matt drink the water under [his]1965-he watchful eye , placing the empty bottle on [the worktop]2614-the worktop when [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] finished . ‘ Turn around . ’[1965-he] [he]1965-he orders . Oh , here [we]1967-we go ! A million fireworks light up inside [me]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt follow through on [his]1965-he command , turning away from [him]1965-he , [my]2342-matt libido screaming , [my]2342-matt skin is prickling . The feeling of [his]1965-he warm hands skating over [my]2342-matt shoulders has [me]2342-matt clenching [my]2342-matt jaw and drawing steadying breaths . [He]1965-he grasps the zip of [my]2342-matt dress and slowly pulls it down , making a point of sliding [his]1965-he hands down [my]2342-matt sides as [he]1965-he drags it down [my]2342-matt body , kneeling as [he]1965-he goes . [My]2342-matt ankle is tapped and [I]2342-matt step out of the pooling material , turning back to look down at [him]1965-he knelt before [me]2342-matt . [He]1965-he gazes up at [me]2342-matt , slowly rising to [his]1965-he feet , dragging [his]1965-he nose up between [my]2342-matt breasts until [he]1965-he reaches [my]2342-matt throat . [He]1965-he breathes into [my]2342-matt neck . Oh , yes , [I]2342-matt ’m mentally begging for [him]1965-he , as per usual . Latching on with [his]1965-he lips , [he]1965-he nips and licks at [my]2342-matt delicate flesh . [My]2342-matt skin is burning for [him]1965-he to touch [me]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt want to grab [him]1965-he . But [I]2342-matt know this will be done on [his]1965-he terms . ‘[2342-matt] Do [you]832-ava want [my]2342-matt mouth on [you]832-ava , [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [he]1965-he asks softly . [My]832-ava breath catches in [my]832-ava throat as [his]1965-he voice vibrates against [my]832-ava ear . [I]832-ava sigh , long and breathy . ‘[832-ava] [You]832-ava need to say the word . ’ [He]1965-he brushes [his]1965-he lips over [my]832-ava ear . [My]832-ava knees shake . ‘[832-ava] Yes . ’ [I]832-ava gasp on an exhale . ‘[832-ava] Do [you]832-ava want [me]2342-matt to fuck [you]832-ava , [baby]832-ava ? ’ ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse . ’ [I]2342-matt jerk as [he]1965-he strokes between [my]2342-matt thighs . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt know . [You]832-ava want [me]2342-matt . ’ [He]1965-he bites down on [my]832-ava ear lobe , the metal of [my]832-ava silver studs chinking against [his]1965-he teeth . [I]832-ava shudder , panting and desperate for [him]1965-he . But then [he]1965-he pulls away , leaving [me]832-ava standing a wanton mass of hormones in front of [him]1965-he . ‘[832-ava] Stay there . ’ [he]1965-he orders firmly , walking away . [He]1965-he ’s still fully dressed in [his]1965-he suit as [I]1969-my watch [him]1965-he stride away from [me]1969-my and open a cupboard , taking something out . Chocolate spread ? [My]1969-my pulse accelerates . Calmly , [he]1965-he makes [his]1965-he way back over to [me]1969-my . [I]1969-my run [my]1969-my eyes down [his]1965-he lean physic , delighting in the stiff bulge at [his]1965-he groin . [I]1969-my wait , undemanding and tolerant of [his]1965-he leisurely pace . When [he]1965-he finally reaches [me]1969-my , [he]1965-he gets up close and personal with [my]1969-my face , breathing [his]1965-he hot , minty breath all over [me]1969-my as [his]1965-he lips skim [my]1969-my cheeks , [my]1969-my eyes , [my]1969-my chin , finally resting gently on [my]1969-my lips . [I]1969-my hum in pure pleasure , opening [my]1969-my mouth , but [he]1965-he breaks [our]3395-our kiss and starts lowering [himself]1965-he down [my]1969-my body . A barrage of heat floods [me]1969-my , [my]1969-my short , sharp breaths becoming suppressed and ragged . Looking up at [me]1969-my as [he]1965-he descends , [his]1965-he nose grazes [my]1969-my lace knickers , triggering [my]1969-my hands to fly out and grab [his]1965-he shoulders for support . [He]1965-he gives [me]1969-my that knowing smile and starts rising again , pressing [his]1965-he body against [mine]1969-my on [his]1965-he way . ‘[1969-my] [You]1969-my ’re so affected by [me]1969-my , ’[1969-my] [he]1969-my breathes in [my]2342-matt ear . [I]2342-matt shiver , catching [my]2342-matt breath . ‘ Yes , [I]2342-matt am . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]1969-my know [you]1969-my are . It … really … fucking … turns … [me]1969-my … on . ’[1969-my] [He]1969-my steps away from [me]2342-matt . What ’s [he]1969-my doing ? [His]1969-my hands come up , and [I]2342-matt register [him]1969-my holding [my]2342-matt dress in one . And in the other … a pair of scissors . [He]1969-my would n’t ? [He]1969-my calmly opens the scissors and sets them at the hem of [my]2342-matt dress . Then , very slowly , [he]1969-my snips up the centre as [I]2342-matt watch on a gape . It seems [he]1969-my bloody would . A five hundred pound dress ? [I]2342-matt ca n’t even locate the ability to stop [him]1969-my or shout at [him]1969-my . [I]2342-matt ’m utterly stunned . Not content with having [my]2342-matt five hundred pound , taboo dress in two pieces , [he]1969-my proceeds to calmly chop it up into a further few scraps before placing the mutilated material , calmly and precisely with zero emotion , on [the island]2653-the island with the scissors . [He]1969-my turns back to face [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt find [my]2342-matt voice . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [you]2342-matt just did that . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t play games with [me]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]1969-my warns , all calm and controlled . [He]1969-my slips [his]1969-my hands in [his]1969-my trouser pockets and regards [me]832-ava closely as [I]832-ava stand in front of [him]1969-my , unequivocally staggered . All fuzzy tipsiness has completely gone . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] sound minded , steady and absolutely astounded by [his]2342-matt demonstration of so called power . ‘ [You]2342-matt , ’[832-ava] [I]2342-matt point [my]2342-matt finger in [his]2342-matt face , ‘ are crazy ! ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt lips form a straight line . ‘ [I]2342-matt fucking feel it . Get [your]2342-matt arse to bed ! ’[2342-matt] What ? Get [my]2342-matt arse to bed ? [The man]327-jesse is way past unreasonable – [he]327-jesse ’s completely impossible . [I]2342-matt feel [my]2342-matt brow knit . If [I]2342-matt spend any more time with [this man]327-jesse , [I]2342-matt ’ll be having [Botox]188-botox before [I]2342-matt ’m twenty seven . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not getting in bed with [you]327-jesse ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt kick [my]2342-matt heels off and pivot , leaving [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen and [my]2342-matt simmering control freak behind . With [me]2342-matt in [my]2342-matt underwear and [my]2342-matt dress in a dozen pieces , [I]2342-matt ’m pretty much screwed . [I]2342-matt take [the stairs]272-the stairs , slamming [my]2342-matt feet down , huffing all the way . [I]2342-matt could scream ! [He]327-jesse ’s a raving fucking nutjob ! Barging into [the bedroom]535-the bedroom , [I]2342-matt spot [my]2342-matt gym bag at the end of the bed , but [I]2342-matt know there are no clothes in there . [I]2342-matt found that out this morning when [my]2342-matt dress was set out waiting for [me]2342-matt . Well , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not staying in [here]314-here . No fucking way ! [I]2342-matt stomp back out and head across the open landing , letting [myself]2342-matt into [the furthest spare bedroom]1973-the furthest spare bedroom . [I]2342-matt have a choice of [three others]1974-three others , but [this one]2342-matt is [my]2342-matt favourite and it ’s the furthest away from [him]2342-matt ! [I]2342-matt slam the door behind [me]2342-matt and crawl into the wonderfully dressed bed that still looks like it did on launch night . Flinging all the fancy cushions on the floor , [I]2342-matt slam [my]2342-matt frustrated head down into the pillow . It does n’t smell of fresh water and mint , and it ’s nowhere near as comfortable as [Jesse]327-jesse ’s bed , but it will do for tonight . Tomorrow , [I]2342-matt ’m leaving . [The man]2342-matt is deranged ! There is just no bloody point even trying to have [my]2342-matt own way . Even if [he]2342-matt ’s gentlemanly enough to give it to [me]2342-matt , [he]2342-matt tramples all over it later anyway . [ARSE]247-arse ! The door opens wide , the light from the open landing gushing in . [I]2342-matt watch [his]2342-matt silhouette grow larger as [he]2342-matt closes in on [me]2342-matt . What ’s [he]2342-matt going to do now ? Pump [my]2342-matt stomach ? [He]2342-matt bends down and scoops [me]2342-matt into [his]2342-matt arms without a word . If [I]2342-matt thought it would get [me]2342-matt anywhere , [I]2342-matt would fight [him]2342-matt off . But [I]2342-matt do n’t . [I]2342-matt let [him]2342-matt carry [me]2342-matt into [[his]2342-matt bedroom]3399-his bedroom and place [me]2342-matt in [his]2342-matt bed . [I]2342-matt roll over onto [my]2342-matt front , burying [my]2342-matt face into a pillow , closing [my]2342-matt eyes and pretending not to relish in the comfort of [his]327-jesse scent all over the sheets . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] mentally exhausted and grateful it ’s the weekend . [I]2342-matt might sleep for the whole of it . [I]2342-matt hear the shuffles and movements of [Jesse]327-jesse getting undressed . [He]327-jesse better stay on [his]327-jesse own side ! The bed dips , [I]2342-matt ’m grasped around [my]2342-matt waist and pulled , with minimum effort , into the hardness of [his]327-jesse chest . [I]2342-matt try to bat [him]327-jesse away , ignoring the warning growl emanating from [him]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] Get off ! ’ [I]832-ava snap , peeling [his]327-jesse fingers away from [me]832-ava . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , ’ [His]327-jesse tone is seriously lacking patience . It just incenses [me]832-ava further . ‘[832-ava] Tomorrow … I’m out of here . ’ [I]832-ava spit , heaving [myself]832-ava away from [him]327-jesse . ‘[832-ava] [We]1976-we ’ll see . ’ [He]327-jesse almost laughs as [he]327-jesse yanks [me]832-ava back into [him]327-jesse , squeezing [me]832-ava to [his]327-jesse body . [I]832-ava stop fighting , it ’s a fruitless endeavor . Besides , [I]832-ava ca n’t help the immense contentment [I]832-ava feel with [his]327-jesse arms wrapped tightly around [me]832-ava , [his]327-jesse hot breath in [my]832-ava hair . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] still boiling mad , though . Chapter 33 ‘ Rise and shine , [lady]832-ava . ’[1977-he] [His]1977-he nose is touching [mine]1978-mine as [I]2342-matt open [my]2342-matt eyes . [I]2342-matt give [my]2342-matt brain a few moments to kick into gear and [my]2342-matt eyes time to adjust to the light . When [my]2342-matt focus eventually clears , [I]2342-matt find [he]1977-he ’s looking down at [me]2342-matt with bright green , twinkling eyes . [I]2342-matt , on the other hand , want to sleep some more . It ’s Saturday , and not even [my]2342-matt need to rip a strip off of [him]1977-he will get [me]2342-matt out of this bed any time soon . [I]2342-matt push [him]1977-he away , rolling over . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not talking to [you]1979-you . ’ [I]2342-matt grumble , snuggling back down into [my]2342-matt pillow . [He]1977-he gives [my]2342-matt backside a swift slap before flipping [me]2342-matt back over and pinning [my]2342-matt arms down . ‘[2342-matt] That hurt ! ’ [I]2342-matt scowl at [him]1977-he . The corners of [his]1977-he lush lips are twitching , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] in no mood for [roguish Jesse]327-jesse this morning . Why is [he]1977-he so happy ? Oh , yes . [I]2342-matt know damn well why . [He]1977-he ’s shredded the taboo dress and [he]1977-he ’s got [me]2342-matt before eight o’clock . [I]2342-matt ’m swathed from head to toe in [him]1977-he as [he]1977-he gazes down at [me]2342-matt , running [his]1977-he eyes all over [my]2342-matt face . [I]2342-matt should bring [my]2342-matt knee up and catch [him]1977-he where it counts ! ‘[2342-matt] Now , today can go one of two ways , ’ [he]1977-he informs [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [You]1980-you can stop being unreasonable and [we]1981-we ’ll have a lovely day together . Or , [you]1980-you can continue being a defiant little temptress , and [I]2342-matt ’ll be forced to handcuff [you]1980-you to the bed and dig [you]1980-you in [the tickle spot]1982-the tickle spot until [you]1980-you lose consciousness . What ’s it to be , [baby]832-ava ? ’ [Me]832-ava ? Unreasonable ? [My]832-ava jaw falls open as [he]832-ava watches [me]832-ava with interest . Does [he]832-ava seriously think [I]832-ava wo n’t challenge [him]832-ava on that little proposal ? [I]832-ava lift [my]832-ava head so [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] right up close to [his]832-ava stubbled , irritatingly stunning face . ‘ Fuck … off . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say , slowly and clearly . [He]832-ava recoils , [his]832-ava eyes widening at [my]2342-matt brashness . [I]2342-matt ’m pretty ashamed of [myself]2342-matt too . But [he]832-ava brings out the worst in [me]2342-matt with [his]832-ava unreasonable ways . ‘[2342-matt] Watch [your]832-ava fucking mouth ! ’ ‘[2342-matt] No ! What the hell are [you]832-ava doing having [doormen]1984-doormen advise [you]832-ava of [my]2342-matt movements ? ’ That little memory has just landed in [my]832-ava waking brain . But if [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] right , and [he]832-ava ’s arranged for [bouncers]1985-bouncers to monitor [me]2342-matt , then [I]2342-matt ’ll boil over . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , all [I]2342-matt want to do is make sure [you]832-ava ’re[2342-matt] safe . ’ [He]832-ava drops [his]832-ava head down , starting to chew [his]832-ava lip . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt worry , that ’s all . ’ [He]832-ava worries ? [He]832-ava ’s known [me]2342-matt for less than a month , and [he]832-ava ’s getting all protective and possessive ? [He]832-ava tramples everywhere , derails [me]2342-matt , cuts up [my]2342-matt dresses and prohibits [me]2342-matt from drinking . UNREASONABLE ! ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m twenty six years old , [Jesse]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt returns [his]2342-matt eyes to [mine]2342-matt . [They]1986-they ’re dark again . ‘[1986-they] Why did [you]1987-you wear that dress ? ’ ‘[1987-you] To piss [you]1987-you off , ’ [I]1987-you answer honestly , wriggling a little in complete vain . [I]1987-you ’m[1987-you] not going anywhere . ‘ But [you]1987-you thought [you]1987-you were n’t going to see [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt brow furrows . Does [he]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt was wearing it for [someone else]2416-someone else ? ‘ It ’s principle , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mutter . [I]2342-matt wanted the upper hand , even if [he]2342-matt did n’t know it . ‘ [You]1987-you owe [me]2342-matt a dress . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt smiles , nearly blinding [me]2342-matt . ‘ [We]3400-we ’ll put it on [our]3400-we list of things to do today . ’[2342-matt] What list would that be ? Right now , [I]2342-matt want to go back to sleep . Or , [he]2342-matt could wake [me]2342-matt up another way . [I]2342-matt squirm underneath [him]2342-matt , [his]2342-matt eyebrows jumping up in surprise . ‘ What ’s all that about ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks , blatantly trying to hide a grin . Okay , now [I]2342-matt know exactly what [his]2342-matt game is . [He]2342-matt ’s going to deny [me]2342-matt , just like [he]2342-matt did last night and just like [he]2342-matt did before [I]2342-matt went out . That ’s going to be [his]2342-matt punishment for [me]2342-matt defying [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt ’s cute . It ’s the worst thing [he]2342-matt could do . ‘ [You]2342-matt do n’t need to keep [me]2342-matt safe . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt gripe , worming [my]2342-matt way free from under [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt can set the gauntlet all [he]2342-matt likes . ‘ That ’s how much [I]2342-matt care about [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt calls to [my]2342-matt back , as [I]2342-matt leave [him]2342-matt lying on the bed . Care ? [I]2342-matt want [him]2342-matt to love [me]2342-matt , not care . [I]2342-matt walk across [the bedroom]440-the toilet to [the bathroom]440-the toilet , shutting the door behind [me]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt cares about [me]2342-matt , like [a brother]1990-a brother or something ? [I]2342-matt feel [my]2342-matt heart slowly cracking . [I]2342-matt go to [the toilet]440-the toilet and wash [my]2342-matt hands before placing [myself]2342-matt in front of the huge mirror that spans the back of the vanity unit . [I]2342-matt sigh wearily . What am [I]2342-matt going to do ? [He]2342-matt cares . If caring means poking up with this , then [he]2342-matt can devote [his]2342-matt care elsewhere . [I]2342-matt wash [my]2342-matt face and make a grab for [Jesse]327-jesse ’s toothbrush , only to find [my]2342-matt own in the holder with it . Huh ? [I]2342-matt cake it in paste on a frown and set about brushing [my]2342-matt teeth , glancing in the mirror to the shower and spotting [my]2342-matt shampoo and conditioner on the shelf , along with [my]2342-matt razor and body wash . Has [he]2342-matt moved [me]2342-matt in ? [I]2342-matt carry on brushing [my]2342-matt teeth , opening the door back into [the bedroom]535-the bedroom , finding [Jesse]327-jesse sprawled on [his]327-jesse front with [his]327-jesse face buried in the pillow . [I]2342-matt walk past [him]327-jesse into [the walk - in - wardrobe]1992-the walk - in - wardrobe , nearly choking on [my]2342-matt toothpaste when [I]2342-matt see a selection of [my]2342-matt clothes hanging there . [He]327-jesse has moved [me]2342-matt in ! That ’s a bit presumptuous , is n’t it ? Did [I]2342-matt not get a say ? [I]2342-matt might very well love [him]327-jesse , but [I]2342-matt ’ve known [him]327-jesse for a few weeks . Moving in ? What does this mean ? Does [he]327-jesse want [me]2342-matt here to take care of [me]2342-matt ? Well , if so , [he]327-jesse can sod right off . Control [me]2342-matt , more like . ‘ Problem ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt swing around , [my]2342-matt toothbrush hanging from [my]2342-matt mouth , to find [Jesse]327-jesse filling the doorway of [the wardrobe]1993-the wardrobe , looking slightly apprehensive . It ’s a look that [I]2342-matt ’ve not seen on [him]327-jesse before . [My]2342-matt eyes drift down [his]327-jesse torso , delighting in the flex of [his]327-jesse muscles as [he]327-jesse braces [himself]327-jesse on the door frame with both hands . But [I]2342-matt quickly re - focus [my]2342-matt attention away from [his]327-jesse distracting chest , suddenly remembering why [I]2342-matt ’m in the wardrobe . [I]2342-matt garble a load of inaudible words around [my]2342-matt toothpaste and brush . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sorry , run that by [me]2342-matt again . ’[2342-matt] [His]327-jesse lips twitch at the corners as [I]2342-matt yank [my]2342-matt brush from [my]2342-matt mouth . [He]327-jesse bloody well knows what ’s wrong with [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt garble again , [my]2342-matt words a little more comprehensible with the absence of [my]2342-matt brush , but the paste is still hindering proper speech . [He]327-jesse rolls [his]327-jesse eyes and picks [me]2342-matt up , taking [me]2342-matt to [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom . ‘ Spit . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse commands as [he]327-jesse places [me]2342-matt on [my]2342-matt feet . [I]2342-matt rid [my]2342-matt mouth of all the paste and turn to face [my]2342-matt unreasonable control freak . ‘ What ’s all this ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt wave [my]2342-matt arm around in the general direction of everything . [He]327-jesse clamps [his]327-jesse lips together to suppress a smile and leans forward , licking off the remnants of the paste from around [my]2342-matt mouth , [his]327-jesse hot tongue sweeping across [my]2342-matt bottom lip slowly . ‘ There . What ’s what ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse flicks [his]327-jesse tongue up to [my]2342-matt temple , blowing a long , hot breath in [my]2342-matt ear . [I]2342-matt tense when [he]327-jesse reaches down to cup [my]2342-matt sex , sending chills of pleasure flying through [me]2342-matt . ‘ No ! ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt push [him]327-jesse away from [me]2342-matt . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] not manipulating [me]2342-matt with [your]2342-matt delicious Godliness ! ’ [He]327-jesse grins that roguish grin . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt ’m [a God]74-a god ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt huff , turning back to the mirror . [His]327-jesse head is expanding at a rate so fast , [I]2342-matt might be forced to jump out the bathroom window before [I]2342-matt ’m squashed against a wall . [He]327-jesse curves [his]327-jesse arm around [my]2342-matt waist and pulls [me]2342-matt against [his]327-jesse front . Leaning down and resting [his]327-jesse chin on [my]2342-matt shoulder , [he]327-jesse studies [me]2342-matt in the reflection of the mirror . Pushing [his]327-jesse erection between [my]2342-matt thighs , [he]327-jesse circles [his]327-jesse hips , sending [my]2342-matt hands flying down to catch the side of the vanity unit . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t mind being [[your]2342-matt God]1995-your god . ’ [he]327-jesse whispers on a husk . ‘[2342-matt] Why is [my]2342-matt stuff here ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask [his]327-jesse reflection , willing [my]2342-matt body to behave and not get swallowed up by all [his]327-jesse lovely Godliness . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt collected it from [Kate]2557-kate ’s earlier . [I]2342-matt thought [you]2342-matt could stay [here]314-here for a few days . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Do [I]2342-matt get a say ? ’ [He]327-jesse circles those damn hips again , milking a small cry from [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Do [you]2342-matt ever ? ’ [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head at [him]2342-matt in the mirror . One corner of [his]2342-matt mouth rises on a mischievous smile as [he]2342-matt circles again . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not going to react to [his]2342-matt damn hip swivels because [I]2342-matt know [he]2342-matt ’s going to leave [me]2342-matt hanging again . And what ’s [Kate]2557-kate playing at , letting all [these men]1997-these men rummage through [my]2342-matt belongings ? There ’s more than two days ’ worth of clothes hanging in [that wardrobe]3402-that wardrobe . What ’s [his]2342-matt game ? ‘[65-ha] Get [yourself]2342-matt ready , [lady]65-ha . ’ [He]2342-matt kisses [my]2342-matt neck and smacks [my]2342-matt arse . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m taking [you]2342-matt out . Where would [you]2342-matt like to go ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look at [him]2342-matt stunned . ‘ [I]2342-matt get to choose ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt shrugs . ‘ [I]2342-matt have to let [you]2342-matt have [your]2342-matt way some of the time . ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt face is dead pan . [He]2342-matt ’s completely serious . [I]2342-matt should grab [his]2342-matt offer of power with both hands while [he]2342-matt ’s being so reasonable , but [I]2342-matt ’m suspicious . After [his]2342-matt reaction last night , [his]2342-matt massacre of the taboo dress and the silent treatment , [I‘m]2342-matt befuddled as to why [he]2342-matt ’s woken up all balanced and stable . ‘[2342-matt] So , what would [you]1999-you like to do ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks . ‘[2342-matt] Let ’s go to [Camden]832-ava . ’ [I]2342-matt suggest , bracing [myself]2342-matt for [his]2342-matt refusal . [Men]2420-men hate all that hustle and bustle and roaming around browsing at stuff . ‘[2342-matt] Okay . ’ [He]2342-matt turns to get in the shower , leaving [me]2342-matt at the sink wondering where [[my]2342-matt challenging control freak]3404-my challenging control freak has gone . Now , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] most definitely suspicious . [I]2342-matt land at the bottom of [the stairs]272-the stairs to hear [Jesse]327-jesse talking on [his]327-jesse phone . [I]2342-matt walk into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen and dribble a little . [He]327-jesse looks glorious in some worn jeans and a navy polo shirt , collar turned up – [Jesse]327-jesse style . [He]327-jesse ’s shaved and shoved some wax in [his]327-jesse hair . [He]327-jesse really is unreasonably handsome , as well as unreasonable everything else . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’ll be in tomorrow , is everything okay ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse turns from [his]327-jesse stool , running an eye down [my]2342-matt body . ‘ Thanks , [John]832-ava . Call [me]327-jesse if [you]832-ava need [me]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse places [his]327-jesse phone down without looking away from [me]2342-matt , folding [his]327-jesse arms over [his]327-jesse chest . ‘ [I]327-jesse like [your]832-ava dress . ’[327-jesse] [His]327-jesse voice is all low and husky . [I]2342-matt look down at [my]2342-matt flowing , floral tea dress . It sits on [my]2342-matt knee so the length probably meets with [his]327-jesse approval . [I]2342-matt ’m surprised [Kate]2557-kate packed it ; it ’s a bit summery , with its cut out back and lack of sleeves . [I]2342-matt smile to [myself]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse has n’t seen the back yet . And [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not showing [him]327-jesse either . [He]327-jesse ’ll make [me]2342-matt change . [I]2342-matt know it . [I]2342-matt pull on [my]2342-matt thin knitted , cream cardigan , then position [my]2342-matt suede bag across [my]2342-matt body . ‘ Ready ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [He]327-jesse pushes [himself]327-jesse to [his]327-jesse feet , approaching [me]2342-matt all moodily . [I]2342-matt expect a deep kiss , but [I]2342-matt do n’t get one . Instead , [he]327-jesse slips [his]327-jesse Wayfarers on , takes [my]2342-matt hand and pulls [me]2342-matt towards the door . [I]2342-matt get to spend the whole day with [him]327-jesse and [he]327-jesse ’s not even going to kiss [me]2342-matt ? ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] not going to touch [me]2342-matt all day , are [you]2342-matt ? ’ [He]327-jesse looks down at [our]3405-our joined hands . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m touching [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]2342-matt know what [I]2342-matt mean . [You]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] punishing [me]2342-matt . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Why would [I]2342-matt do that , [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [He]327-jesse pulls [me]2342-matt into [the elevator]780-the elevator . [He]327-jesse knows damn well what [my]2342-matt point is . [I]2342-matt look up at [him]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt want [you]2342-matt to touch [me]2342-matt . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt know [you]2342-matt do . ’ [He]327-jesse punches in the code . ‘[2342-matt] But [you]2342-matt wo n’t ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Give [me]2342-matt what [I]2342-matt want , and [I]2342-matt will . ’ [He]327-jesse does n’t look at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt do n’t believe this . ‘[2342-matt] An apology ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know , [Ava]832-ava . Do [you]2342-matt need to apologise ? ’ [He]327-jesse still keeps [his]327-jesse focus straight ahead . Even in the reflection of the doors , [he]327-jesse still wo n’t meet [my]2342-matt eyes . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sorry . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt practically spit . [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]2002-his ’s doing this . And [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [I]2342-matt ’m this desperate for the contact . ‘[2342-matt] Now , if [you]2342-matt ’re going to apologise , at least sound sorry . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sorry . ’ [His]2002-his eyes meet [mine]2342-matt in the mirror . ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]2342-matt ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Yes , [I]2342-matt ’m sorry . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]2342-matt want [me]2342-matt to touch [you]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Yes . ’[2002-his] [He]2002-his turns into [me]2342-matt fast , pushing [me]2342-matt up against the mirrored wall and completely blanketing [me]2342-matt with [his]2002-his body . [I]2342-matt feel instantly better . That was n’t too hard at all . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] beginning to understand , are n’t [you]2342-matt ? ’ [His]2002-his lips hover over [mine]2342-matt , [his]2002-his hips pushing into [my]2342-matt lower stomach . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt understand . ’ [I]2342-matt pant . [He]2002-his takes [my]2342-matt mouth , [my]2342-matt hands finding [his]2002-his shoulders , [my]2342-matt nails digging straight into [his]2002-his muscles . Yes , that ’s much better . [I]2342-matt meet [his]2002-his tongue , melting into [him]2002-his completely . ‘[2342-matt] Happy ? ’ [he]2002-his asks , breaking [our]3407-our kiss . ‘[2342-matt] Yes . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [Me]2342-matt too . Let ’s go . ’ [We]3407-our pull up in [Camden]832-ava for breakfast after [Jesse]327-jesse got [his]2342-matt way and drove . It ’s a beautiful day , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] already too warm in [my]2342-matt cardigan , but [I]2342-matt ’ll suffer for a little longer . There ’s still scope for [him]2342-matt to take [me]2342-matt [home]281-home in disgrace and make [me]2342-matt change . [Jesse]327-jesse collects [me]2342-matt from [the pavement]2745-the pavement , leading [me]2342-matt across [the road]2482-the road to a lovely little quaint café . ‘ [You]3408-you ’ll love it here . [We]3409-we ’ll sit outside . ’[327-jesse] [He]2342-matt pulls out a large wicker chair for [me]2342-matt . ‘ Why will [I]2342-matt love it ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask as [I]2342-matt sit on the polka dot cushion . ‘ [They]3409-we do the best Eggs Benedict . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt smiles brightly at [me]2342-matt when [he]2342-matt sees [my]2342-matt eyes light up . [The waitress]453-the waitress approaches on a dribble when [she]453-the waitress spots [Jesse]327-jesse in all [his]327-jesse manly Godliness , but [he]327-jesse ’s completely oblivious . ‘ Can [we]3410-we have two of the Eggs [Benedict]249-benedict , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse points at the menu , ‘ a strong black coffee and a cappuccino with an extra shot , no chocolate or sugar , please . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse turns [his]327-jesse face up to [the waitress]453-the waitress , blasting [her]453-the waitress with one of [his]327-jesse smiles , reserved only for [women]348-women . ‘ Thank [you]453-the waitress . ’[453-the waitress] [She]453-the waitress appears to stagger slightly . [I]2342-matt laugh to [myself]2342-matt . Yes , [he]2342-matt had that exact same affect on [me]2342-matt . [She]453-the waitress eventually finds [her]453-the waitress voice . ‘ Would [you]453-the waitress like ham or salmon with [your]453-the waitress eggs ? ’[453-the waitress] [He]2342-matt hands [her]453-the waitress the menu , taking off [his]2342-matt Wayfarers so [she]453-the waitress gets the full impact of [his]2342-matt stunning face . ‘ Salmon , please . ’[453-the waitress] [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head in dismay and check [my]2342-matt phone , while [the waitress]363-irene makes a meal of writing out [our]2009-our basic order . [I]2342-matt wonder how [Victoria]54-victoria and [Drew]327-jesse got on . [I]2342-matt ’m not so bothered about [Tom]60-tom – [he]60-tom ’s undoubtedly in love again with [the latest soul mate]3411-the latest soul mate . ‘[2342-matt] White or granary ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Sorry ? ’ [I]2342-matt glance up from [my]2342-matt phone and find [the waitress]363-irene still hovering . ‘[2342-matt] Would [you]2010-he like white or granary bread ? ’ [Jesse]327-jesse repeats on a small smile . ‘[2342-matt] Oh , granary , please , ’ [He]327-jesse returns [his]327-jesse glorious greens to [the wilting waitress]363-irene . ‘[2342-matt] Both granary , thank [you]2010-he , ’ [She]363-irene flashes [her]363-irene most willing smile before finally leaving [us]2009-our . [The woman]363-irene ’s reaction to [Jesse]327-jesse reminds [me]2342-matt of how many [others]933-others would have been before [me]2342-matt . It makes [me]2342-matt feel crap . Was [he]327-jesse as unreasonable and controlling with all the others ? [Christ]72-jesus , [I]2342-matt bet there have been a few . [I]2342-matt place [my]2342-matt phone on the table and look across at [Jesse]327-jesse , who ’s watching [me]2342-matt closely , chewing [his]327-jesse lip . What ’s [he]327-jesse considering ? ‘[2342-matt] How are [your]2010-he legs ? ’ [he]327-jesse asks , but [I]2010-he know that ’s not what ’s got [him]327-jesse chomping on [his]327-jesse bottom lip . ‘[2010-he] Fine , do [you]2010-he run often ? ’ [I]2010-he already know the answer to this . [No one]2594-no one gets up in the middle of the night to run fourteen miles unless [they]3414-they ’re[2010-he] serious about it . ‘ It distracts [me]2010-he . ’[2010-he] [He]2010-he shrugs , sitting back in [his]2010-he chair , [his]2010-he expression thoughtful . ‘ Distracts [you]2010-he from what ? ’[2010-he] [He]2010-he keeps [his]2010-he eyes on [me]2342-matt . ‘ [You]2010-he , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scoff . [He]2010-he ’s obviously not running very much at the moment then , because [he]2010-he ’s spending most of [his]2010-he time trampling all over [me]2342-matt . ‘ Why do [you]2010-he need distracting from [me]2010-he ? ’[2010-he] ‘ Because , [Ava]832-ava … ’[2010-he] [He]2010-he sighs . ‘ [I]2010-he ca n’t seem to stay away from [you]2010-he and , more worryingly , [I]2010-he do n’t wo n’t to . ’[2010-he] [His]2010-he tone harbours frustration . Is [he]2010-he frustrated with [me]2342-matt or with [himself]2010-he ? [The waitress]453-the waitress places [our]2012-our coffees on the table and lingers for a while , but [she]453-the waitress does n’t get blessed with another knock out smile . [He]2010-he ’s focused on [me]2342-matt alone . [His]2010-he statement is bitter sweet . [I]2342-matt ’m delighted that [he]2010-he ca n’t stay away from [me]2342-matt , but slightly affronted that it seems to annoy [him]2010-he . ‘[2342-matt] Why would that be worrying ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask nonchalantly , while stirring [my]2342-matt cappuccino and mentally pleading for some satisfactory answers . After a few moments have passed , [he]2010-he still has n’t answered so [I]2342-matt glance up , discovering the cogs whirling at a hundred miles an hour and [his]2010-he bottom lip getting a punishing chew . [He]2010-he eventually exhales noisily , dropping [his]2010-he eyes . ‘[2342-matt] It ’s worrying because [I]2342-matt feel out of control , ’ [He]2010-he returns [his]2010-he eyes to [me]2342-matt , penetrating [me]2342-matt with [his]2010-he fixed , green stare . ‘[2342-matt] Feeling out of control is not something [I]2342-matt do well , [Ava]832-ava . Not where [you]832-ava ’re concerned . ’[832-ava] Ah ! Is [he]2013-he admitting that [he]2013-he ’s [a complete unreasonable control freak]2014-a complete unreasonable control freak ? It ’s bloody obvious that [he]2013-he does n’t cope when [he]2013-he ’s defied – [I]2342-matt ’ve seen hard evidence of that . ‘ If [you]832-ava were more reasonable , [you]832-ava would n’t feel out of control very often . Are [you]832-ava like this with all [[your]832-ava women]3415-your women ? ’[2013-he] [His]2013-he eyes widen , then narrow . ‘ [I]2013-he ’ve never cared enough about [anyone else]1027-anyone else to feel like this , ’[2013-he] [He]2013-he picks up [his]2013-he coffee . ‘ It ’s just fucking typical that [I]2013-he would go and find [the most defiant woman on [the planet]2913-the planet]3417-the most defiant woman on the planet to … ’[2013-he] ‘ Try and control ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt raise [my]2342-matt eyebrows at [him]2013-he , and [he]2013-he deepens [his]2013-he scowl on [me]2342-matt . ‘ What about other relationships ? ’[2013-he] ‘ [I]2013-he do n’t have relationships . [I]2013-he ’m[2013-he] not interested in getting involved . Anyway , [I]2342-matt do n’t have time . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]2015-you ’ve devoted enough time to trampling all over [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]2015-you blurt over [my]2015-you coffee cup . If this is n’t involved , then [I]2015-you do n’t know what is . [He]2013-he shakes [his]2013-he head . ‘[2015-you] [You]2015-you ’re different . [I]2342-matt told [you]2015-you , [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt ’ll trample [anyone who tries to get in [my]2342-matt way]3419-anyone who tries to get in my way . Even [you]2015-you . ’[2342-matt] This [I]2342-matt know . [I]2342-matt ’ve been trampled already when [I]2342-matt refused to stay in . [I]2342-matt ’m glad [my]2342-matt trampling ritual is a little different to that of others who have had the pleasure . [Poor Cockney]169-cockney springs to mind immediately . [He]169-cockney ’s not interested in relationships ? Where ’s this going then ? [Our]3420-our breakfast lands on the table , smelling divine . Tucking in , [I]2342-matt ponder [his]169-cockney declaration of being out of control . The solution is pretty simple – stop being so unreasonable and challenging . [He]169-cockney ’ll keel over from a stress induced heart attack if [he]169-cockney carries on the way [he]169-cockney has . ‘[2342-matt] Why am [I]2342-matt so different ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . [My]2342-matt voice is small . [He]169-cockney calves [his]169-cockney way through [his]169-cockney salmon . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]169-cockney says quietly . ‘[832-ava] [You]832-ava do n’t know much , do [you]832-ava ? ’ It ’s all [he]169-cockney bloody says when [I]832-ava try and determine a reason for [his]169-cockney controlling ways . [I]832-ava spark “ all sorts of feelings ” . What am [I]832-ava supposed to make of all this ? ‘[832-ava] [I]2342-matt know that [I]2342-matt ’ve never wanted to fuck [a woman]395-a woman more than once . [You]832-ava , though , [I]2342-matt really do . ’ [I]832-ava recoil in horror , nearly choking on a piece of toast . [He]169-cockney has the decency to look apologetic . ‘[832-ava] That came out wrong . ’ [He]169-cockney puts [his]169-cockney fork down , closing [his]169-cockney eyes and rubbing [his]169-cockney temples . ‘[832-ava] What [I]2342-matt ’m trying to say is that … well … [I’ve]2342-matt never cared about [a woman]395-a woman enough to want more than sex . Not until [I]2342-matt met [you]832-ava , ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt head rub gets more aggressive . ‘ [I]2342-matt ca n’t explain it , but [you]832-ava felt it , did n’t [you]832-ava ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt looks at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt see desperation for confirmation . ‘ When [we]3421-we met , [you]832-ava felt it . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile lightly . ‘ Yes , [I]2342-matt felt it . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll never forget it . [His]2342-matt expression changes instantly – [he]2342-matt ’s smiling again . ‘ Eat [your]832-ava breakfast . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt points [his]2342-matt fork at [my]2342-matt plate , and [I]2342-matt resign [myself]2342-matt to living without the knowledge [I]2342-matt so desperately want . If [he]2342-matt does n’t know , there ’s not much chance of [me]2342-matt ever knowing . Would it make it easier to cope with [him]2342-matt if [I]2342-matt knew what made [his]2342-matt complex mind tick ? Regardless , [he]2342-matt ’s just – in not so many words – told [me]2342-matt that [he]2342-matt wants more than sex , has n’t [he]2342-matt ? So , [he]2342-matt cares about [me]2342-matt . Does care equal control ? And [he]2342-matt ’s never had a relationship ? [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe that for a second . [Women]348-women throw [themselves]348-women at [this man]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt ca n’t just screw them all once , surely ? [Christ]72-jesus , if [he]2342-matt ’s never fucked [a woman]395-a woman more than once , how many have there been ? [I]2342-matt ’m just about to ask this question , but [I]2342-matt halt mid - inhale . Do [I]2342-matt want to know ? [I]2342-matt ’ve been sleeping with [this man with no protection]2342-matt , and even though [he]2342-matt ’s told [me]2342-matt that [he]2342-matt ’s never not worn a condom – except with [me]2342-matt – should [I]2342-matt believe [him]2342-matt ? ‘[2342-matt] [We]2019-we need to buy [you]2020-you a dress for [The Manor]2356-the manor ’s anniversary party . ’ [he]2342-matt declares , in an obvious tactic to distract [me]2342-matt from [my]2342-matt pressing questions and thoughts . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] sure [he]2342-matt knows what [I]2342-matt ’m thinking . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt have plenty of dresses . ’ [I]2342-matt sound really unenthusiastic , which is fine , because [I]2342-matt am . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] only half comforted by the fact that [Kate]2557-kate will be there to help [me]2342-matt through an evening of [Sarah]54-victoria glaring at [me]2342-matt and passing sly remarks . Has [he]2342-matt fucked [Sarah]54-victoria ? [I]2342-matt imagine it ’s possible if [he]2342-matt only fucks [women]348-women once . The thought makes [me]2342-matt stab at [my]2342-matt breakfast a little too harshly . [He]2342-matt frowns . ‘ [You]54-victoria need a new one . ’[2342-matt] It ’s that tone that dares [me]2342-matt to challenge [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt sigh at the prospect of , yet another , wardrobe argument . [I]2342-matt ’ve more than enough options without buying a new dress . Besides , even if [I]2342-matt did n’t , [I]2342-matt ’d find something just to avoid a shopping trip with [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘ Anyway , [I]2342-matt owe [you]54-victoria one . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt reaches over the table , pushing a loose tendril of hair behind [my]2342-matt ear . Yes , [he]2342-matt does owe [me]2342-matt one , but [I]2342-matt do n’t want it because [I]2342-matt doubt [I]2342-matt ’ll have any say in what dress [he]2342-matt buys [me]2342-matt . ‘ Do [I]2342-matt get to choose ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Of course , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt places [his]2342-matt knife and fork on [his]2342-matt plate . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not [a complete control freak]2023-a complete control freak . ’ [I]327-jesse nearly drop [my]327-jesse cutlery . Is [he]2342-matt winding [me]327-jesse up ? ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , [you]327-jesse ’re really very special . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt load [my]2342-matt voice with all the sweetness the statement deserves . ‘ Not as special as [you]327-jesse , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt winks at [me]2342-matt . ‘ Are [you]327-jesse ready to hit [Camden]832-ava , [baby]832-ava ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt nod , fishing [my]2342-matt purse from [my]2342-matt bag , while [he]2342-matt watches [me]2342-matt with a bewildered look . [I]2342-matt put a twenty under the salt shaker on the table and observe as [he]2342-matt stands on an exaggerated huff , digs into [his]2342-matt pocket and replaces [my]2342-matt money with [his]2342-matt , snatching [my]2342-matt purse from [my]2342-matt hand and stuffing [my]2342-matt note back inside . [Control freak]1244-control freak ! [My]2342-matt phone starts dancing around the table , but before [I]2342-matt can even instruct [my]2342-matt brain to pick it up , [Jesse]327-jesse has snatched it from under [my]2342-matt nose . ‘ Hello ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt greets [the mystery caller]2025-the mystery caller . [I]2342-matt look at [him]2342-matt in disbelief . [He]2342-matt really does n’t have any phone manners . Who is it , anyway ? ‘ [Mrs O’Shea]250-mrs o’shea ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says coolly . [My]2342-matt mouth falls open . No ! Not [[my]2342-matt Mother]2026-my mother ! [I]2342-matt try to snatch [my]2342-matt phone back from [him]2342-matt , but [he]2342-matt dances away from [me]2342-matt with a wicked grin on [his]2342-matt maddeningly handsome face . ‘ [I]2342-matt have the pleasure of being with [[your]2342-matt beautiful daughter]2026-my mother . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt informs [[my]2342-matt mother]2026-my mother . [I]2342-matt move around the table , and [he]2342-matt shifts the other way , frowning at [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt clench [my]2342-matt teeth and wave [my]2342-matt hand frantically at [him]2342-matt , but [he]2342-matt just raises [his]2342-matt eyebrows and shakes [his]2342-matt head slowly . ‘ Yes , [Ava]832-ava has told [me]2342-matt lots about [you]832-ava , [I]2342-matt ’ll look forward to meeting [you]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] Oh , the irritating twat ! [I]2342-matt ’ve not mentioned much at all to [Jesse]327-jesse about [[my]2342-matt parents]2490-my parents , and [I]2342-matt certainly have n’t mentioned [him]2342-matt to [them]2490-my parents . Oh God , this is all [I]2342-matt need . Glaring at [him]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt reach over , but [he]2342-matt jumps back . ‘ Yes , [I]2342-matt ’ll put [her]577-mum on . It was lovely to talk to [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt hands [me]2342-matt the phone , and [I]2342-matt seize it from [his]2342-matt hand with a vicious swipe . ‘ [Mum]577-mum ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Ava]832-ava , who was that ? ’[577-mum] [[My]2342-matt Mum]577-mum sounds as mystified as [I]2342-matt expected [her]577-mum to be . [I]2342-matt ’m supposed to be young , free and single in [London]5-london , and now [strange men]3422-strange men are answering [my]2342-matt phone . [I]2342-matt narrow [my]2342-matt eyes on [Jesse]327-jesse , who ’s looking rather proud of [himself]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt ’s just [a friend]2645-a friend , [Mum]577-mum . What ’s up ? ’ [Jesse]327-jesse clutches at [his]2342-matt heart , pulling [a wounded soldier]3423-a wounded soldier impersonation , but [his]2342-matt annoyed facial expression does n’t match [his]2342-matt playful act – not in the slightest . [I]577-mum hear [[my]577-mum Mother]577-mum hum in disapproval . [I]577-mum ca n’t believe [he]2342-matt ’s just done that , the arrogant arse . And with everything else [I]577-mum have to poke up with , now [I]577-mum have the added bonus of [[my]577-mum mother]577-mum whittling that [I]577-mum ’m[577-mum] jumping into another relationship too soon . ‘ [Matt]2342-matt called [me]577-mum . ’[577-mum] [she]577-mum states flatly . [I]2342-matt turn away from [Jesse]327-jesse to try and hide [my]2342-matt wide eyed look . Why has [Matt]2342-matt called [[my]2342-matt mother]577-mum ? [Shit]251-shit ! [I]2342-matt ca n’t talk about this now , not in front of [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘ [Mum]577-mum , can [I]251-shit call [you]577-mum back ? [I]251-shit ’m[251-shit] in [Camden]832-ava , it ’s loud . ’ [My]251-shit shoulders hit [my]251-shit earlobes at the feel of [Jesse]327-jesse ’s eyes chiseling away at [my]251-shit back . ‘[251-shit] Yes , [I]2342-matt just wanted [you]2030-you to know . [He]2342-matt was all friendly , it does n’t sit well . ’ [She]577-mum sounds furious . ‘[2342-matt] Okay , [I]2342-matt ’ll call [you]2030-you later . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Fine , and remember , carefree fun . ’ [She]577-mum adds the last bit in a blatant reminder of [my]2342-matt status – whatever that is . [I]2342-matt turn back to [Jesse]327-jesse , finding the expression [I]2342-matt knew [I]2342-matt would : very unhappy . ‘[2342-matt] Why did [you]2030-you do that ? ’ [I]2342-matt yell . ‘[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt ’s just [a friend]2645-a friend ? Do [you]2030-you often let [friends]2512-friends fuck [your]2030-you brain out ? ’ [My]2030-you shoulders sag in defeat . [The man]2342-matt ’s constant change in reference to [our]2512-friends relationship is burning [my]2030-you brain . [He]2342-matt fucks [me]2030-you ; [he]2342-matt cares for [me]2030-you ; [he]2342-matt controls [me]2030-you … ‘[2030-you] Is it [your]2030-you mission objective to make [my]2342-matt life as difficult as possible ? ’ [His]2342-matt eyes soften . ‘[2030-you] No , ’ [he]2342-matt says quietly . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m sorry . ’[2342-matt] Good God , do [we]2033-we have a breakthrough ? Has [he]2645-a friend just apologised for being [an arse]2034-an arse ? [I]2342-matt ’m more stunned now than when [he]2645-a friend hijacked [my]2342-matt phone and greeted [[my]2342-matt mother]2026-my mother like [she]2026-my mother was [an old friend]3425-an old friend . [He]2645-a friend said [himself]2645-a friend [he]2645-a friend does n’t offer apologies very often , but considering [he]2645-a friend does n’t like apologising , [he]2645-a friend ’s doing a lot of crazy stuff that warrants one . ‘[2342-matt] Forget about it . ’ [I]2342-matt sigh , shoving [my]2342-matt phone in [my]2342-matt bag . [I]2342-matt start walking down [the street]945-the street , towards [the canal]945-the street . [His]2645-a friend arm is wrapped around [my]2342-matt shoulder within seconds . [[My]2342-matt poor mother]2026-my mother is probably giving [[my]2342-matt Dad]578-my dad ear ache right at this very moment . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt ’ll be hit with twenty questions later . And as for [Matt]2342-matt … well , [I]2342-matt know [his]2342-matt game . [He]2342-matt ’s trying to butter up [the parents]2490-my parents , [the slimy little worm]3429-the slimy little worm . [He]2342-matt ’ll be sorely disappointed . [[My]2342-matt parents]2490-my parents openly dislike [him]2342-matt now , as appose to putting up with [him]2342-matt for [my]2342-matt sake . [We]3430-we spend the rest of the morning , and well into the afternoon , wandering around [Camden]832-ava . [I]2342-matt love it here – the diversity is the best [London]5-london has to offer . [I]2342-matt could lose [myself]2342-matt for hours in [the cobbled back streets of [the markets]3432-the markets and [stables]3433-stables]3431-the cobbled back streets of the markets and stables . [Jesse]327-jesse humours [me]2342-matt while [I]2342-matt poke about on [the stalls]3434-the stalls , keeping close and constantly touching [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] so glad [I]2342-matt apologised . [We]2035-we walk through [the food quarter]2036-the food quarter , and [I]2342-matt ca n’t take the heat anymore . It ’s not particularly hot , but with all [the tourists and crowds]2037-the tourists and crowds , [I]2342-matt ’m feeling stifled . [I]832-ava remove [my]832-ava bag from across [my]832-ava body , taking [my]832-ava cardigan off to wrap it around [my]832-ava waist . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [your]832-ava dress is missing a huge chunk ! ’ [I]832-ava turn around on a smile , finding [him]327-jesse gaping at the cut out section of [my]832-ava dress . What ’s [he]327-jesse going to do ? Undress [me]832-ava and cut it up ? ‘[832-ava] No , it ’s the design . ’ [I]832-ava inform [him]327-jesse , tying [my]832-ava cardigan around [my]832-ava waist and replacing [my]832-ava bag over [my]832-ava body . [He]327-jesse turns [me]832-ava around , pulling [my]832-ava cardigan further up [my]832-ava body in an attempt to conceal the revealed flesh . ‘[832-ava] Will [you]832-ava stop ? ’ [I]832-ava laugh , wriggling free . ‘[832-ava] Do [you]832-ava do this on purpose ? ’ [he]327-jesse snaps , arranging [his]327-jesse big palm in the centre of [my]832-ava back . ‘[832-ava] If [you]832-ava want full length skirts and polo neck jumpers , then [I]2342-matt suggest [you]832-ava find [someone]587-someone [your]832-ava own age . ’ [I]2342-matt mutter as [he]327-jesse starts guiding [me]2342-matt through the crowds with [his]327-jesse hand firmly in place . [I]2342-matt earn [myself]2342-matt a dig in the ribs for [my]2342-matt cheek . [He]327-jesse ’ll have [me]2342-matt in a Burka next . ‘[2342-matt] How old do [you]832-ava think [I]2342-matt am ? ’ [he]327-jesse asks incredulously . ‘[2342-matt] Well , [I]2342-matt do n’t know , do [I]2342-matt ? ’ [I]2342-matt toss back at [him]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] Do [you]832-ava want to relieve [me]2342-matt of [my]2342-matt wondering ? ’ [He]327-jesse scoffs . ‘[2342-matt] No . ’ ‘[2342-matt] No , [I]2342-matt did n’t think so . ’ [I]2342-matt mutter . Something catches [my]2342-matt attention . [I]2342-matt quickly detour to a stall full of scented candles and all things hippy . [I]2342-matt hear [Jesse]327-jesse cursing behind [me]2342-matt , barging through the crowds to keep up with [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt make it to the stool , and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] greeted by a new age type , with wild dreadlocks and plenty of piercings . ‘ Hi . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile , reaching up to grab the cloth bag from the shelf . ‘ Afternoon , ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says . ‘ Do [you]2342-matt want some help with that ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt joins [me]2342-matt by the shelf , helping [me]2342-matt retrieve the cloth bag . ‘ Thanks . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt feel [Jesse]327-jesse ’s warm palm on [me]2342-matt again as [I]2342-matt open the cloth bag and pull out the contents . ‘ What ’s that ? ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse asks , looking over [my]2342-matt shoulder . ‘ These , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shake them out , ‘ are Thai fisherman pants , ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt think [you]2342-matt need a smaller size . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt frowns , running [his]2342-matt eyes across the huge piece of black material that [I]2342-matt ’m holding up . ‘[2039-they] [They]2039-they ’re one size . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt laughs . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [you]2342-matt could get ten of [you]2342-matt in them . ’[2039-they] ‘ [You]2342-matt wrap them around . One size fits all . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve been meaning to replace [my]2342-matt worn ones for months . [He]2342-matt moves to the side , keeping [his]2342-matt hand exactly where it is , and looks at the pants dubiously . Admittedly , [they]2039-they do look like a pair of trousers for [the world]516-the world ’s [most obese man]2041-most obese man , but once [you]2042-you figure [them]2039-they out , [they]2039-they ’re super comfy for knocking around [the house]308-the place on a lazy day . ‘[2039-they] Here , let [me]2342-matt show [you]2042-you . ’ [The stall owner]2342-matt takes the trousers from [my]2039-they grasp and kneels in front of [me]2039-they . [I]2039-they feel [Jesse]327-jesse ’s palm tense on [my]2039-they back . ‘[2039-they] [We]2043-we ’ll take [them]2039-they . ’ [he]2342-matt spits out fast . Oh , here comes a trample ! ‘[2043-we] [You]2042-you need a demo . ’ Dread ’s says cheerfully , jiggling the opening of the trousers at [my]2042-you feet . [I]2042-you lift [my]2042-you foot to step into the trousers , only to have [myself]2042-you tugged back slightly . [I]2042-you glance up at [him]2342-matt , flashing a warning look . [He]2342-matt ’s being ridiculous . [The man]2342-matt ’s just being friendly . ‘[2042-you] [You]2042-you have great legs , [Miss.]252-miss. ’ [Dreads]253-dreads says happily . [I]252-miss. cringe . ‘[252-miss.] Thanks . ’ Do n’t encourage [him]2342-matt ! ‘[252-miss.] Give [me]2342-matt those . ’ [Jesse]327-jesse snatches the pants from [Dread]254-dread ’s before positioning [me]252-miss. with [my]252-miss. back to a shelf full of candles . Shaking [his]327-jesse head and muttering under [his]327-jesse breath , [he]327-jesse kneels on one knee and opens the pants for [me]252-miss. . [I]252-miss. smile sweetly at [Dreads]253-dreads , who seems to be oblivious to [Jesse]327-jesse ’s trampling performance , probably too spaced out to notice . [I]252-miss. step into the pants , pulling them up while [Jesse]327-jesse holds onto the two gaping sides , [his]327-jesse frown line deep on [his]327-jesse forehead . [God]68-god love [him]327-jesse ! [I]252-miss. quickly take control of the wrapping for fear of [Dreads]253-dreads trying to intercept . ‘[252-miss.] Like this , see ? ’ [I]252-miss. fold the pants over , tying them on the side . ‘[252-miss.] Wonderful , ’ [Jesse]327-jesse mocks , looking at [them]2045-them in confusion . [His]327-jesse eyes find [mine]252-miss. , and [I]252-miss. break out in a full smile . [He]327-jesse shakes [his]327-jesse head , [his]327-jesse eyes twinkling . ‘[252-miss.] Do [you]2044-you want [them]2045-them ? ’ [I]2342-matt start to unfasten and remove the trousers under [Jesse]327-jesse ’s watchful eye . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m paying . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt inform [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt rolls [his]2342-matt eyes on a disgusted snort , taking a wad of notes from [his]2342-matt pocket . ‘ How much for the oversized trousers ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks [Dreads]253-dreads . ‘ Just [a tenner]1342-my friend , [[my]2342-matt friend]1342-my friend , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt fold them up , shoving them in the bag . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] paying for the trousers , [Jesse]327-jesse . ’ ‘[327-jesse] Is that it ? ’ [Jesse]327-jesse shrugs as [he]2342-matt shoves a note at Dreads . ‘[327-jesse] Cheers , ’ [Dreads]253-dreads shoves it in [his]327-jesse bum - bag . ‘[327-jesse] Come on . ’ [he]327-jesse says , [his]327-jesse hand replaced on the exposed flesh of [my]327-jesse back . ‘[327-jesse] [You]2046-you did n’t have to trample [the poor man]1922-my challenging man . ’ [I]327-jesse moan . ‘[327-jesse] And [I]2342-matt wanted to pay for the pants . ’ [He]327-jesse pulls [me]327-jesse into [his]327-jesse side , pressing [his]327-jesse lips into [my]327-jesse temple . ‘[327-jesse] Shut up . ’ ‘[2046-you] [You]2046-you ’re impossible , ’[2046-you] ‘ [You]2046-you ’re[2046-you] beautiful . Can [I]2342-matt take [you]2046-you [home]281-home now ? ’ [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head at [[my]2342-matt challenging man]1922-my challenging man . ‘[2342-matt] Yes . ’ [My]2342-matt feet are aching . And [I]2342-matt have to commend [him]1922-my challenging man on [his]1922-my challenging man tolerance of [my]2342-matt leisurely meander today . [He]1922-my challenging man ’s been pretty reasonable . [I]2342-matt let [him]1922-my challenging man lead [me]2342-matt through the crowds until [we]3438-we emerge from [the packed alley]3439-the packed alley , where the sound of booming , heavy techno music assaults [my]2342-matt ears . [I]2342-matt look over , seeing neon lights creeping from the darkness of [the factory building]3440-the factory and [crowds of people gathering at the entrance]3441-crowds of people gathering at the entrance . [I]2342-matt ’ve never been in [the place]308-the place , but it ’s famed for its off the wall club wear and wild accessories . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2049-you want to see ? ’ [I]2342-matt look up at [Jesse]327-jesse and find [he]327-jesse ’s followed [my]2342-matt gaze to the entrance of [the factory]3440-the factory . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt thought [you]2049-you wanted to go [home]281-home . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [We]2051-we can have a quick look . ’ [He]1922-my challenging man redirects [us]2051-we to the entrance , leading [me]2051-we into the dimly lit space . The music pounds [my]2051-we ear drums as [we]2051-we enter . The first thing [I]2051-we notice is [two club dancers]3443-two club dancers , kitted out in hi - visibility underwear , performing some pretty jaw dropping moves on a metal suspended balcony . [I]2051-we ca n’t help but stare . [You]3444-you would think [we]2051-we were in [a nightclub]3445-a nightclub in the early hours . [Jesse]327-jesse directs [me]2051-we to an escalator that takes [us]2051-we down to the bowels of [the factory]3440-the factory . As [we]2051-we reach the bottom , [my]2051-we eyes are assaulted , being attacked by florescent clothing in every colour and description . [Do people]3446-do people wear this stuff ? ‘[2051-we] It ’s not lace , is it ? ’ [he]1922-my challenging man muses , catching [me]2051-we gawking at a bright yellow miniskirt , with metal spikes protruding from the hem line . ‘[2051-we] Lace , it ’s not , ’ [I]2051-we agree . It ’s hideous . ‘[2051-we] Do [people]372-people wear this stuff ? ’ [He]1922-my challenging man laughs , nodding at [a group of people]3447-a group of people , who look like [they]3447-a group of people might pass out with excitement . [They]3447-a group of people must have a million piercings between [them]3447-a group of people . [He]1922-my challenging man leads [me]372-people through the maze of [corridors]3448-corridors . [I]372-people ’m[372-people] completely engrossed by [my]2342-matt surroundings . This is serious clubbing attire for the hardcore clubber . [We]2053-we wander around the metal maze of steel corridors and down [some more stairs]2054-some more stairs , finding [ourselves]2053-we closed in on every angle by … sex toys . [I]2342-matt cringe . The music is louder and absolutely vulgar . [I]2342-matt gape as [I]2342-matt listen to [some demented woman screaming about sucking cock on the dance floor]2055-some demented woman screaming about sucking cock on the dance floor , while [a leather clad dominatrix type]2056-a leather clad dominatrix type grinds [her]2055-some demented woman screaming about sucking cock on the dance floor crotch up and down a black metal pole . [I]2342-matt ’m not a prude , but this is way past [my]2342-matt comprehension . Okay , [we]2053-we ’re[2342-matt] in [the adults department]2057-the adults department , and [I]2342-matt ’m feeling extremely uncomfortable . [I]2342-matt look , very nervously , up at [Jesse]327-jesse . [His]327-jesse eyes are twinkling , [his]327-jesse expression displaying an abundance of amusement . ‘[2342-matt] Shocked ? ’ [he]327-jesse asks . ‘[2342-matt] -ish , ’ [I]2342-matt admit . It ’s not so much the merchandise – it ’s the pierced , tattooed , virtually naked bird in the corner , wearing eight inch platforms and performing some highly illicit moves . That ’s what ’s got [me]2342-matt scooping [my]2342-matt tongue up from the floor . Holy fucking shit ! Does [Jesse]327-jesse go for all this shit ? ‘[2342-matt] It ’s a bit over the top , is n’t it ? ’ [he]327-jesse muses , pulling [me]2342-matt over to a glass cabinet . [I]2342-matt exhale a sigh of relief at [his]327-jesse statement . ‘[2342-matt] Wow ! ’ [I]2342-matt blurt , coming face to face with a huge , diamante embellished vibrator . ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t get excited , ’ [Jesse]327-jesse whispers in [my]2342-matt ear . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2058-you do n’t need one of those . ’ [I]2342-matt gasp , and [he]327-jesse laughs lightly in [my]2342-matt ear . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know . It looks like it could be fun . ’ [I]832-ava respond , thoughtfully . It ’s [him]2342-matt that lets out a shocked gasp this time . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt ’ll die before [you]2058-you use one of those . ’ [He]2342-matt flashes the offending object a disgusted look . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not sharing [you]2058-you with [anyone]2475-anyone or anything , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt pulls [me]2342-matt away . ‘ Even battery operated devices . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt laugh . [He]2342-matt would trample a vibrator ? [His]2342-matt unreasonableness is off the scales . [He]2342-matt looks down at [me]2342-matt , giving [me]2342-matt [his]2342-matt roguish grin . [I]2342-matt melt . ‘ [I]2342-matt might stretch to some handcuffs , though . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt adds quietly . Oh ? Handcuffs ? ‘ This does n’t turn [you]2342-matt on , does it ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt gesture around [the room]2350-the room before tilting [my]2342-matt head up to [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt looks at [me]2342-matt with warm eyes , pulling [me]2342-matt closer into [his]2342-matt side to drop a tender kiss on [my]2342-matt forehead . ‘ There ’s only one thing in [this world]827-this world that turns [me]2342-matt on . And [I]2342-matt love [her]3451-her in lace . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt melt with relief and turn [my]2342-matt eyes up to the man [I]2342-matt love so much it hurts . ‘ Take [me]2342-matt [home]281-home . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt gives [me]2342-matt a half smile , landing a worshipful kiss on [my]2342-matt lips . ‘ Are [you]2342-matt making demands ? ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt asks against [my]2342-matt lips . ‘ Yes . [You]2342-matt ’ve not been inside [me]2342-matt for too long . It ’s not acceptable . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt pulls back and watches [me]2342-matt carefully , cogs flying , teeth chomping . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] right , it ’s not acceptable . ’ [He]2342-matt resumes chomp and re - focuses [his]2342-matt attention ahead of [us]3453-us , leading [me]2342-matt out of [the dungeon]3454-the dungeon and back to [[his]2342-matt car]2476-his car . Chapter 34 [We]3453-us burst through the door of [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse in a tangled embrace . [I]2342-matt ’ve waited all day for this . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] about to explode with lust . [I]2342-matt need [him]2342-matt all over [me]2342-matt , right now . [He]2342-matt removes [my]2342-matt bag from [my]2342-matt shoulder , throwing it to the floor and grabs [me]2342-matt around [my]2342-matt waist so [I]2342-matt straddle [his]2342-matt hips . [He]2342-matt walks [us]2060-us into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , flicks a few buttons on the remote control and [my]2342-matt ears are soon flooded with [Placebo]1871-placebo ’s Running up [that Hill]1871-placebo . This only serves to spike [my]2342-matt desperation for [him]2342-matt more . [He]2342-matt ’s [a man of [his]2342-matt word]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt want [you]2342-matt in bed . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says urgently as [he]2342-matt takes [the stairs]272-the stairs at an alarming rate . [I]2342-matt kick [my]2342-matt ballet pumps off on the way up , in an attempt to reduce the time constraints of undressing when [we]2060-us get [upstairs]2469-upstairs . The door to [the master suite]694-the master suite is kicked open , and [I]2342-matt ’m placed on [my]2342-matt feet at the end of the bed . ‘[2342-matt] Turn around . ’ [he]2342-matt says softly . [I]2342-matt oblige , giving [him]2342-matt access to the back of [my]2342-matt dress . ‘[2342-matt] Please tell [me]2342-matt that [you]2342-matt have lace on , ’ [he]2342-matt pleads , unbuttoning [my]2342-matt dress . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt need [you]2342-matt in lace . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt have lace on . ’ [I]2342-matt confirm quietly . [I]2342-matt wear nothing but these days . [I]2342-matt hear [him]2342-matt exhale a long , satisfied breath as [he]2342-matt pulls [my]2342-matt dress over [my]2342-matt head and let ’s it fall to the floor . [I]2342-matt turn back around to face [him]2342-matt , finding a lax mouth and hooded eyes . [He]2342-matt ’s as desperate as [I]2342-matt am . [He]2342-matt reaches forward , slowly pulling down a cup on [my]2342-matt bra , brushing [his]2342-matt knuckles over [my]2342-matt nipple . [My]2342-matt heart starts a relentless sprit in [my]2342-matt chest . [He]2342-matt ’s in gentle mode – [I]2342-matt love gentle [Jesse]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt watch [him]2342-matt reach over [his]2342-matt back and grasp [his]2342-matt t - shirt , pulling it forward over [his]2342-matt head . The leanness of [him]2342-matt will never cease to have [me]2342-matt panting . There ’s not a scrap of fat on [him]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Have [you]327-jesse had a nice day ? ’ [he]2342-matt asks softly . [He]2342-matt does n’t touch [me]327-jesse . [He]2342-matt just stands in front of [me]327-jesse removing [his]2342-matt shoes and socks , while [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] mentally begging for [him]327-jesse to hurry up . [He]327-jesse wants to have a chat ? ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ve had a lovely day . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say , trying [my]2342-matt hardest to ignore the passionate beats of the music surrounding [us]2066-we , especially if [he]327-jesse ’s set on chatting for a while . ‘ [Me]327-jesse too , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse ’s all serious and pensive . [I]2342-matt do n’t know what to make of it . ‘ Shall [we]2066-we make it even better ? ’[2342-matt] Oh God . ‘ Yes . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt breathe . ‘ Come here . ’[2342-matt] There will be no countdown necessary this time . [I]2342-matt step forward , placing [my]2342-matt hands on [his]327-jesse solid chest and tipping [my]2342-matt face up to meet [his]327-jesse stare . [We]2066-we spend a few silent moments gazing at each other before [his]327-jesse lips fall to [mine]2342-matt , instantly catapulting [me]2342-matt to [Central Jesse Cloud Nine]46-central jesse cloud nine – [my]2342-matt most favourite place in the universe . [I]2342-matt moan , moving [my]2342-matt hands up in [his]327-jesse hair to hold on to [him]327-jesse as [he]327-jesse lifts [me]2342-matt and secures [me]2342-matt against [his]327-jesse body , [our]2066-we tongues lapping and circling slowly . [He]327-jesse takes [me]2342-matt to the bed , laying [me]2342-matt beneath [him]327-jesse , [my]2342-matt hands placed above [my]2342-matt head . [He]327-jesse does n’t hold them there , but [I]2342-matt know that ’s where [they]2067-they ’ve got to stay . [He]327-jesse releases [my]2342-matt mouth and sits up , leaving [me]2342-matt hot , dazed and panting short , sharp breaths . [He]327-jesse looks down at [me]2342-matt , the cogs going into overdrive in that beautiful mind of [his]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt want to know what [he]327-jesse ’s thinking . [He]327-jesse ’s been slipping in and out of thoughtfulness for days now . ‘ [I]327-jesse could sit and watch [you]3457-you writher under [my]327-jesse touch all day . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse murmurs as [he]327-jesse plays with [my]2342-matt breast , yanking down the other cup and lavishing it with equal attention . [My]2342-matt nipples twinge , being pulled and elongated by [his]327-jesse fingers as [he]327-jesse watches [himself]327-jesse work [me]2342-matt into a crazy wreck , [his]327-jesse lips parted and moist . [I]2342-matt want them on [me]2342-matt now ! ‘ Stay where [you]3458-you are . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse gets up from the bed pulling [my]2342-matt knickers off as [he]327-jesse goes . [I]2342-matt whimper slightly at the loss of [his]327-jesse weight from [me]2342-matt . Where ’s [he]327-jesse going ? [I]2342-matt watch [him]327-jesse slowly unbutton the fly on [his]327-jesse jeans and drag them down [his]327-jesse thighs , kicking them off calmly before drawing [his]327-jesse boxer shorts down [his]327-jesse legs . [I]2342-matt clench [my]2342-matt thighs together to control the dull pulse at [my]2342-matt core that ’s just advanced into a steady throb at the sight of [him]327-jesse bared naked and stunningly spectacular in front of [me]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse crawls back on the bed , parts [my]2342-matt thighs and runs [his]327-jesse tongue straight up the centre of [my]2342-matt sex . ‘ Oh God , [God God]2383-god ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt cover [my]2342-matt face with [my]2342-matt palms , sinking [my]2342-matt teeth into [my]2342-matt own hand as [he]327-jesse plunges [his]327-jesse tongue into [me]2342-matt , withdrawing and circling slowly before dipping back in . [I]2342-matt might pass out . [My]2342-matt hips rotate in time to [his]327-jesse tempo , seeking further friction , [his]327-jesse palm spanning [my]2342-matt stomach to keep [me]2342-matt from bucking under [him]327-jesse . Why did [I]2342-matt ever run ? Of all the stupid things [I]2342-matt could do , running away from [this man]327-jesse would get the gold . [He]327-jesse lifts [his]327-jesse mouth and blows a cold stream of air across [my]2342-matt flesh before returning to [his]327-jesse inexorable pattern of torturous pleasure . When [my]2342-matt head start thrashing and [I]2342-matt make a grab for [his]327-jesse hair , [he]327-jesse increases the power and [I]2342-matt detonate around [him]327-jesse , pushing [my]2342-matt hips up on reflex and shouting out on a rush of desperate breath . [He]327-jesse closes [his]327-jesse mouth around [my]2342-matt core , literally sucking the pulses out of [me]2342-matt as [I]2342-matt shake like a leaf and [my]2342-matt back arches to breaking point . [Jesse]327-jesse moans in pure gratification . ‘ Hmmm , [I]327-jesse can feel [you]327-jesse throbbing against [my]327-jesse tongue , [baby]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt ca n’t even talk . The influence [he]327-jesse has over [my]2342-matt body is extraordinary . [I]2342-matt do n’t think [I]2342-matt ’m weak , [I]2342-matt think [he]327-jesse ’s too powerful – [he]327-jesse definitely holds the power . [My]2342-matt over worked heart starts to steady its beats , as [I]2342-matt weave [my]2342-matt fingers through [his]327-jesse hair , relishing in [his]327-jesse attentive mouth dropping tender kisses down the insides of [my]2342-matt thighs , nibbling and sucking as [he]327-jesse goes . [We]3459-we ’re[2342-matt] in tender lover mode , but for how long could be [anyone]2475-anyone ’s guess . [I]2342-matt ’m not going to try and kid [myself]2342-matt that [I]2342-matt ’ve heard the last of [my]2342-matt contraventions from last night , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] quite content to lay here with [Jesse]327-jesse nuzzling between [my]2342-matt legs for as long as [he]327-jesse ’ll allow . And that ’s another thing : it ’s always on [his]327-jesse terms . [His]327-jesse teeth clamp lightly onto [my]2342-matt clitoris and [I]2342-matt shudder , hearing [him]327-jesse laugh lightly as [he]327-jesse kisses [his]327-jesse way up [my]2342-matt body until [he]327-jesse finds [my]2342-matt lips , sharing [my]2342-matt release with [me]2342-matt , brushing [his]327-jesse soft lips over [mine]2342-matt as [he]327-jesse gazes down at [me]2342-matt . [My]2342-matt arms find [his]327-jesse shoulders and accept [his]327-jesse weight as [he]327-jesse buries [his]327-jesse face in [my]2342-matt neck and sighs , [his]327-jesse raging arousal thumping lightly against [my]2342-matt thigh . [I]2342-matt shift [my]2342-matt hips so it falls to [my]2342-matt opening . ‘ [You]327-jesse make [me]327-jesse so crazy mad , [lady]327-jesse . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse breathes into [my]2342-matt neck , lifting [himself]327-jesse and slowly driving into [me]2342-matt on a stifled moan . [I]2342-matt whimper , gripping every muscle around [him]327-jesse . ‘ Please do n’t do that again . ’[2342-matt] [He]327-jesse reaches down and snakes [his]327-jesse arm under [my]2342-matt knee , pulling it up to drape [my]2342-matt leg over [his]327-jesse shoulder before bracing [his]327-jesse upper body on [his]327-jesse forearms . Slowly , [he]327-jesse withdraws and lazily works [his]327-jesse way in again , [his]327-jesse eyes fixed on [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] sorry . ’ [I]832-ava murmur , circling [my]832-ava hands in [his]327-jesse hair . [He]327-jesse pulls back , driving forward on a moan . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , everything [I]2342-matt do , [I]2342-matt do to keep [you]832-ava safe and to keep [my]2342-matt sanity . Please listen to [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt moan on another deep , delightful plunge . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt will . ’ [I]2342-matt confirm , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] aware [I]2342-matt ’m raging with pleasure and , once again , [he]327-jesse can make [me]2342-matt say anything [he]327-jesse wants . [I]2342-matt do n’t need keeping safe – except , perhaps , from [him]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse gazes down at [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt need [you]832-ava . ’ [He]327-jesse looks despondent , throwing [me]2342-matt out completely . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt really need [you]832-ava , [baby]327-jesse . ’ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] mindless on pleasure , totally swallowed up by [him]327-jesse , but [he]327-jesse ca n’t keep saying things like that – at least not without elaborating . [He]327-jesse ’s making [my]2342-matt brain a knotted mess of coded statements . Is [he]327-jesse getting confused with needing and wanting ? [I]2342-matt ’m past the wanting stage and only mildly afraid that [I]2342-matt ’ve let [myself]2342-matt fall into the realms of really needing [this man]327-jesse ‘[2342-matt] Why do [you]832-ava need [me]2342-matt ? ’ [My]2342-matt voice is broken and husky . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt just do . Please , do n’t ever leave [me]2342-matt . ’ [He]327-jesse plunges forward again , enticing a collective moan . ‘[2342-matt] Tell [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt all but groan , clenching at [his]327-jesse shoulders , but ensuring [I]2342-matt keep [my]2342-matt eyes fixed on [his]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt need more than [his]327-jesse confounding brainteasers . [These shallow waters]1661-these shallow waters are becoming muddy as well . ‘[2342-matt] Just accept that [I]2342-matt need [you]832-ava and kiss [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]832-ava look up at [him]327-jesse , torn by [my]832-ava body ’s need for [him]327-jesse and [my]832-ava brain ’s need for information . [He]327-jesse ’s leisurely working [his]327-jesse way in and out of [me]832-ava at the most dreamy pace , gradually encouraging another buildup of pressure to begin . [I]832-ava ca n’t control it . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , kiss [me]2342-matt . ’ [My]832-ava body wins . [I]832-ava pull [his]327-jesse face down to [mine]832-ava , worshipping [his]327-jesse wonderful mouth , as [he]327-jesse sinks in and out , rolling [his]327-jesse narrow hips each time . The mechanical tense of [my]832-ava body sets in as [my]832-ava pleasure peaks and [I]832-ava start to wobble on the edge of release , short sharp breaths escaping as [I]832-ava try and reign in [my]832-ava impending climax . ‘[832-ava] Not yet , [baby]832-ava . ’ [He]327-jesse warns softly , grinding hard on another drive forward . How does [he]327-jesse know ? [I]832-ava concentrate hard , but with this music and [Jesse]327-jesse working [my]832-ava mouth so delicately , [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] really struggling . [I]2342-matt claw [my]2342-matt fingers into [his]832-ava shoulders , a wordless signal that [I]2342-matt ’m tipping the edge . [He]832-ava groans , biting [my]2342-matt lip and jerking forward . ‘[2342-matt] Together . ’ [he]832-ava mumbles against [my]832-ava mouth . [I]832-ava nod [my]832-ava acceptance as [he]832-ava increases [his]832-ava strokes and carries [us]3461-we both closer to ultimate ecstasy , all the time maintaining [his]832-ava controlled , accurate drives . ‘[832-ava] Nearly there , [baby]832-ava . ’ [he]832-ava moans . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse ! ’ ‘[327-jesse] Hold on , just hold on . ’ [he]832-ava says calmly , plunging forward again , executing a painfully deep , delicious rotation of [his]832-ava hips , pushing [himself]832-ava forward as far as [he]832-ava can get . [We]3461-we both cry out . ‘[327-jesse] Now , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [He]832-ava withdraws , driving forward again , harder . [I]832-ava let it go , feeling [him]832-ava throb and jerk inside [me]832-ava as [we]3461-we swallow [each others]3462-each others moans and both roll over , descending into a calm , unhurried fall into nothing . [My]832-ava flesh trembles around [his]832-ava beating cock and [my]832-ava heart is hammering in [my]832-ava chest . [I]832-ava kiss [him]832-ava adoringly as [he]832-ava relaxes on [me]832-ava , holding [my]832-ava leg over [his]832-ava shoulder and pushing [his]832-ava body further into [me]832-ava , releasing everything [he]832-ava has , moaning in pure , raw pleasure . The unwelcome invasion of moisture creeps into [my]832-ava eyes , and [I]832-ava fight real hard to prevent [them]3462-each others from falling and ruining the moment . [He]832-ava continues to accept [my]832-ava reverent kiss , meeting [my]832-ava slow , sweeping tongue , stroke for stroke . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] trying to tell [him]2072-he something with this kiss . [I]2342-matt ’m desperate for [him]2072-he to recognise it . [I]2342-matt love [you]2072-he ! [He]2072-he pulls back , breaking [our]3463-our kiss and frowns at [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] What ’s the matter ? ’ [he]2072-he asks softly , [his]2072-he voice full of concern . ‘[2342-matt] Nothing , ’ [I]2342-matt reply too quickly , mentally cursing [my]2342-matt wretched hand for shifting on the back of [his]2072-he head . [He]2072-he searches [my]2342-matt eyes , and [I]2342-matt relent on a sigh . ‘[2342-matt] What is this ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask . [He]2072-he ’s still moving slowly inside [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] What ’s what ? ’ The confusion in [his]2072-he voice is quite clear . [I]2342-matt kick [myself]2342-matt for opening [my]2342-matt big mouth . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mean [me]2342-matt and [you]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt feel stupid all of a sudden , wanting to retreat under the covers . [His]2072-he eyes soften and [he]2072-he swivels [his]2072-he hips slowly . ‘[2342-matt] This is just [you]2342-matt and [me]2342-matt . ’ [he]2072-he says simply , like it really is that simple . [He]2072-he kisses [me]2342-matt gently , releasing [my]2342-matt leg . ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]2342-matt okay ? ’ No , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] shit ! ‘ Fine , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt reply , more harshly than [I]2342-matt intended . Is the man so thick skinned that [he]327-jesse ca n’t see [a woman in love]2074-a woman in love when [she]2074-a woman in love ’s lying underneath [him]327-jesse ? [You]2342-matt and [me]2342-matt , [me]2342-matt and [you]2342-matt , that much is bloody obvious . [I]2342-matt do n’t see [anyone else]1027-anyone else in bed with [us]2076-us . [I]2342-matt wriggle a little underneath [him]327-jesse , and [he]327-jesse narrows [his]327-jesse sludgy eyes on [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]327-jesse need a wee . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt say in the most convincing I’m - not - pissed tone . [I]2342-matt fail miserably . [He]327-jesse latches onto [his]327-jesse bottom lip , eyeing [me]2342-matt suspiciously , but [he]327-jesse pulls out , reluctantly freeing [me]2342-matt from beneath [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt reach around to unclasp [my]2342-matt bra before [I]2342-matt make [my]2342-matt way to [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom , shutting the door behind [me]2342-matt . Why ca n’t [I]2342-matt just say it ? [I]2342-matt need to rid [my]2342-matt mouth of the words that are causing [me]2342-matt so much bloody agony . [I]2342-matt mentally slap [my]2342-matt sorry arse around [the luxurious bathroom]2382-the bathroom and flush [my]2342-matt head down [the toilet]440-the toilet before [I]2342-matt go for a wee . [I]2342-matt ’m such [a loser]360-a loser . [He]327-jesse must know how [I]2342-matt feel . [I]2342-matt drop to the feet of [this man]327-jesse like [a slave]830-a slave , giving [my]2342-matt mind and body up to [him]327-jesse at the drop of a hat . [I]2342-matt do n’t believe , not for a moment , that [he]327-jesse does n’t recognise all these signs . [I]2342-matt finish up , presenting [my]2342-matt naked form to the mirror . [I]2342-matt stare at [my]2342-matt reflection . [My]2342-matt deep brown eyes are bright again , [my]2342-matt olive skin fresh and clear . [I]2342-matt brace [my]2342-matt hands on the vanity unit , letting out a long sigh . This is not where [I]2342-matt planned to be , but [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] here . [I]2342-matt ’ve been ram - raided in every sense of the word by [this man]327-jesse , and [I]2342-matt ’m skirting precariously close to a broken heart . The thought of [my]327-jesse life without [him]327-jesse in it … [I]327-jesse reach up and rub [my]327-jesse chest . The very thought has [my]327-jesse heart constricting . Even with all of [his]327-jesse challenging ways , [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] hopelessly in love with [him]327-jesse – it just is . [I]2342-matt jump when the door opens and [he]327-jesse strolls in , all naked and stunningly glorious . [He]327-jesse positions [himself]327-jesse behind [me]2342-matt , resting [his]327-jesse hands on [my]2342-matt waist , [his]327-jesse chin on [my]2342-matt shoulder . [Our]2080-we eyes lock together for the longest time . ‘ [I]327-jesse thought [we]2080-we made [friends]2512-friends ? ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse questions on a slight pucker of [his]327-jesse beautiful brow . ‘ [We]2080-we did . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shrug . [I]2342-matt had expected far more retribution than what [I]2342-matt just received . Yes , [he]327-jesse shredded the taboo dress , but all things considered , [he]327-jesse ’s been quite reasonable today . It ’s quite funny that [I]2342-matt can play down a clothes massacre as quite reasonable . ‘ Then , why are [you]2081-you sulking ? ’[2342-matt] Because [you]2081-you ’re thick skinned ! ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not sulking . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say oversensitively . It ’s bloody obvious that [I]2342-matt am . [He]327-jesse shakes [his]327-jesse head on a long tired sigh . What has [he]327-jesse got to be tired about ? [He]327-jesse circles [his]327-jesse hips against [my]2342-matt lower back . [He]327-jesse ’s hard again . [He]327-jesse ’s going to distract [me]2342-matt from [my]2342-matt sulks with [his]327-jesse unreasonable , sexual manipulation . [I]2342-matt know it . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [you]832-ava ’re[2082-the most frustrating woman i ’ve ever met] [the most frustrating woman [I]2342-matt ’ve ever met]2082-the most frustrating woman i ’ve ever met . ’ [he]327-jesse grumbles . [My]327-jesse eyes widen at [his]327-jesse cheek . [He]327-jesse thinks [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] frustrating ? [His]327-jesse mouth clamps onto [my]2342-matt neck , penetrating [me]2342-matt with heat . ‘ Are [you]832-ava holding out on [me]327-jesse for a reason , [lady]832-ava ? ’[327-jesse] ‘ No . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt breathe . What ’s [he]327-jesse talking about ? [I]2342-matt never hold out on [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt give [myself]2342-matt up to [him]327-jesse , unreservedly and willing , every time . A little gentle persuasion is sometimes required , but [he]327-jesse gets what [he]327-jesse wants in the end . Holding out ? [He]327-jesse reaches down and slowly starts rubbing [his]327-jesse palm , up and down , between [my]2342-matt thighs . It ’s the perfect amount of friction at the perfect tempo . [I]2342-matt hold [his]327-jesse eyes in the mirror . Fucking hell , [I]2342-matt ’m gagging for [him]327-jesse again . [I]2342-matt drop [my]2342-matt head back , giving [him]327-jesse perfect access to [my]2342-matt neck , [his]327-jesse tongue working a firm , heavy trail up the column of [my]2342-matt throat , circling at the sensitive hollow under [my]2342-matt ear . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2083-you want it again ? ’ [he]327-jesse teases in [my]2342-matt ear as [he]327-jesse works [my]2342-matt core . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt need [you]2083-you . ’ ‘[236-baby] [Baby]236-baby , those words make [me]2342-matt so happy . Always ? ’ ‘[236-baby] Always , ’ [I]236-baby confirm . [He]327-jesse growls [his]327-jesse approval . ‘[236-baby] Fuck , [I]2342-matt need to be inside [you]2083-you . ’ [He]327-jesse yanks [my]327-jesse hips forward and positions [himself]327-jesse at [my]327-jesse entrance before hammering into [me]327-jesse on an ear piercing yell that echoes around [the vast bathroom]3467-the vast bathroom . ‘[327-jesse] Oh , shit , [Jesse]327-jesse ! ’ [I]327-jesse support [myself]327-jesse on the vanity unit , bracing [myself]327-jesse for the onslaught . [He]327-jesse crashes forward . ‘[327-jesse] Watch … [your]2083-you … mouth ! ’ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] subjected to a relentless , desperate round of punishing blows as [he]327-jesse yells like [a man possessed , yanking [me]2342-matt back]2084-mr , impaling [me]2342-matt to the most excruciating depths . [My]2342-matt head is spinning , [my]2342-matt body abused , and [I]2342-matt ’m out of [my]2342-matt mind on the most intense , painful and pleasurable drug that is [Mr]2084-mr Challenging [himself]2084-mr . [I]2342-matt drop [my]2342-matt limp head . [Holy mother fucking GOD]2383-god ! [His]2084-mr hands move to [my]2342-matt shoulders . ‘[2342-matt] Look at [me]2342-matt ! ’ [he]2085-he yells , pounding [me]2085-he with a purposeful blow at [his]2085-he demand . [I]2085-he draw in a sharp breath , drag [my]2085-he heavy head up and find [him]2085-he in the mirror , but it ’s hard to focus . [I]2085-he ’m[2085-he] being thundered forward , [my]2342-matt arms struggling to hold [me]2342-matt as [he]2085-he slaps against [my]2342-matt backside on continuous groans . [His]2085-he frown line is so deep , [his]2085-he neck muscles strained . [The demanding , brutal sex Lord]2086-the demanding , brutal sex lord has returned . ‘ [You]2086-the demanding , brutal sex lord ’ll never hold out on [me]2085-he , will [you]2086-the demanding , brutal sex lord , [Ava]832-ava ? ’[2085-he] [he]2085-he barks through laboured grunts . ‘ No ! ’[2085-he] ‘ Because [you]2086-the demanding , brutal sex lord ’re[2085-he] never leaving [me]2342-matt , are [you]2342-matt ? ’ Oh , here [we]3468-we go again . All the coded sex talk scrambles [my]2085-he brain more than the formidable assault [my]2085-he body is under . ‘[2085-he] Where the fuck am [I]2342-matt going ? ’ [I]2085-he scream in frustration on another merciless blow . ‘[2085-he] Mouth ! ’ [he]2085-he roars urgently . ‘[832-ava] Say it , [Ava]832-ava ! ’ ‘[832-ava] Oh God ! ’ [I]72-jesus cry . [My]72-jesus knees buckle and [his]2085-he hands move quickly to [my]72-jesus waist , capturing [me]72-jesus . [My]72-jesus world goes completely silent as [I]72-jesus ride out the vibration of waves that piston through [me]72-jesus , so harshly , [I]72-jesus think [my]72-jesus heart might have ceased from shock . ‘[72-jesus] [Jesus]72-jesus ! ’ [He]72-jesus falls to the floor , rolling onto [his]72-jesus back so [I]72-jesus ’m[72-jesus] lay across [him]72-jesus , [my]2342-matt back to [his]72-jesus front , [his]72-jesus arms sprawled out at [his]72-jesus side . [I]2342-matt ’m being heaved up and down on top of [him]72-jesus . [My]2342-matt mind is a foggy , churned up mess and [my]2342-matt poor body is wondering what the hell just happened . That was a sense fuck if ever there was one . But for what purpose ? ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m fu … ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt snap [my]2342-matt mouth shut before [I]2342-matt earn [myself]2342-matt another scorn , but [he]72-jesus still lifts an arm and finds [my]2342-matt hip to have a little dig ‘ Hey ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt complain . [I]2342-matt suppressed the urge . It ’s an improvement . [He]72-jesus engulfs [me]2342-matt in [his]72-jesus arms and inhales into [my]2342-matt neck . ‘ [You]72-jesus did n’t say it . ’[72-jesus] ‘ What ? That [I]72-jesus wo n’t leave [you]72-jesus ? [I]72-jesus wo n’t leave [you]72-jesus . Happy ? ’[72-jesus] ‘ Yes , [I]72-jesus am , but that ’s not what [I]72-jesus meant . ’[72-jesus] ‘ What did [you]72-jesus mean ? ’[72-jesus] [He]72-jesus makes a meal of exhaling deeply into [my]2342-matt ear . ‘ Never mind , want to go again ? ’[72-jesus] [I]2342-matt splutter on a laboured breath . [He]72-jesus ’s joking , right ? [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt wo n’t be able to say no – for a start , [he]72-jesus wo n’t let [me]2342-matt , but seriously ? [I]2342-matt feel the slight jerk of a hushed chuckle under [me]2342-matt . ‘ Absolutely , [I]2342-matt ca n’t get enough of [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt keep [my]2342-matt voice steady and serious . [He]72-jesus freezes under [me]2342-matt , but then increases [his]72-jesus vice hold on [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]72-jesus ’m[72-jesus] glad . [I]2342-matt feel exactly the same . But [my]2342-matt heart has been through enough in the last twenty four hours , what with [your]2087-your defiance and lack of obedience . [I]2342-matt do n’t know how much more it can take . ’ There [we]3469-we are ; lack of obedience . [Control freak]1244-control freak ! ‘[2342-matt] It must be [your]2087-your age . ’ [I]65-ha mutter . ‘[65-ha] Hey , [lady]65-ha , ’ [He]72-jesus rolls [us]3469-we over so [I]65-ha ’m[65-ha] face down on the bathroom floor and [he]72-jesus ’s blanketing [me]2342-matt . [He]72-jesus bites [my]2342-matt ear , blowing hot breath into it . ‘ [My]72-jesus age has nothing to do with it . ’[72-jesus] [He]72-jesus chomps at [my]2342-matt lobe a bit more as [I]2342-matt writher under [him]72-jesus . ‘ It ’s [you]65-ha ! ’[72-jesus] [he]72-jesus says accusingly , grabbing [my]2342-matt hip . ‘ No ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scream , making a futile attempt to free [myself]2342-matt . ‘ Okay , [I]2342-matt give in ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]72-jesus wish [you]65-ha fucking would . ’[72-jesus] [he]72-jesus grumbles , releasing [me]2342-matt . ‘ [Old man]72-jesus , ’[72-jesus] [I]2342-matt mutter on a grin . [I]2342-matt ’m hoofed to [my]2342-matt feet in lightning speed and pushed up the wall , [my]2342-matt arms pinned above [my]2342-matt head . [I]2342-matt purse [my]2342-matt lips to suppress [my]2342-matt laugh . [He]72-jesus narrows [his]72-jesus eyes fiercely . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt prefer [God]2383-god . ’ [he]72-jesus notifies [me]65-ha , hitting [me]65-ha with a heart stopping kiss , thrusting [his]72-jesus body against [mine]65-ha and pushing [me]65-ha up the wall . ‘[65-ha] [You]65-ha can be [[my]2342-matt God]2383-god . ’ ‘[65-ha] [I]2342-matt really ca n’t get enough of [you]65-ha , [lady]65-ha . ’ [I]65-ha smile . ‘[65-ha] Good . ’ ‘[65-ha] [You]65-ha ’re [my]65-ha ultimate temptress . ’[65-ha] [He]65-ha swaths [my]2342-matt face with [his]65-ha lips , and [I]2342-matt sigh against [him]65-ha . ‘ Are [you]65-ha hungry ? ’[65-ha] [he]65-ha asks . ‘ Yes . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m famished , actually . [He]65-ha picks [me]2342-matt up and walks over to [the vanity unit]3471-the vanity unit , placing [me]2342-matt gently down . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve fucked [you]65-ha , and now [I]2342-matt ’m going to feed [you]65-ha . ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt brow knits at [his]65-ha tactlessness . Why not , made love to [me]2342-matt and make [me]2342-matt a meal ? [He]65-ha leaves [me]2342-matt on [the unit]2926-the unit to turn the shower on . [I]2342-matt fall into a daydream , just watching the muscles of [his]65-ha back ripple with [his]65-ha movements . ‘ In [you]65-ha get . ’[65-ha] [He]65-ha holds [his]65-ha hand out . [I]2342-matt slide off [the unit]2926-the unit , taking [his]65-ha hand and letting [him]65-ha lead [me]2342-matt into the shower . ‘ It kills [me]65-ha to do this . ’[65-ha] [he]65-ha sighs , taking the natural sponge . ‘ What ? ’[65-ha] [I]2342-matt hold [his]65-ha shoulder as [he]65-ha kneels in front of [me]2342-matt , working up [my]2342-matt legs to the insides of [my]2342-matt thighs in slow , soapy circles . ‘ [I]65-ha hate washing [myself]65-ha off of [you]65-ha . ’[65-ha] [His]65-ha face is sorrowful . [He]65-ha really means it ? [I]2342-matt stand , letting [him]65-ha clean all the traces of [him]65-ha away from [me]2342-matt , working carefully , lovingly and flicking [me]2342-matt small smiles when [he]65-ha catches [me]2342-matt watching [him]65-ha . [My]2342-matt hair is shampooed and conditioned , and [I]2342-matt take the sponge to return the favour . It takes [me]2342-matt a lot longer with [his]65-ha body being a lot bigger than [mine]2342-matt , [my]2342-matt task hindered further by [my]2342-matt need to kiss every square inch of [him]65-ha . [He]65-ha lets [me]2342-matt have [my]2342-matt way , smiling down at [me]2342-matt and squirting more shower gel on the sponge when [I]2342-matt hold it out . As normal , [I]2342-matt linger over [his]65-ha scar , hoping [he]65-ha will open up to [me]2342-matt , but [he]65-ha does n’t … again . One day , [I]2342-matt tell [myself]2342-matt – when , [I]2342-matt do n’t know . Perhaps this will all be over before [I]2342-matt ever do know . The thought depresses [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt never want this to be over . [I]2342-matt ’m wrapped up in a soft , white towel , showered with light kisses all over [my]2342-matt face before [he]65-ha tucks [me]2342-matt under [his]65-ha arm and walks [us]3472-us into [the bedroom]1993-the wardrobe . ‘[2342-matt] Put lace on . ’ [he]65-ha says softly , making [his]65-ha way into [the wardrobe]1993-the wardrobe and appearing a few minutes later in some green , striped lounge pants . [I]2342-matt smile . [I]2342-matt love [him]65-ha in sludgy green . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll meet [you]2342-matt in [the kitchen]1993-the wardrobe . Deal ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] Deal , ’ [I]2342-matt confirm quietly . [He]65-ha winks , striding out of [the bedroom]1993-the wardrobe , leaving [me]2342-matt to find [my]2342-matt lace . [I]2342-matt was actually thinking more along the lines of big knickers and a cosy sweatshirt , but [he]65-ha ’s in too good a mood to break it over such a minor detail . Where would [my]2342-matt underwear be , anyway ? And would [Kate]2557-kate have packed lace ? [I]2342-matt look around [the room]1993-the wardrobe for any signs of [my]2342-matt bags , seeing nothing . Wandering into [the wardrobe]1993-the wardrobe , [I]2342-matt only find [my]2342-matt dresses and shoes . [He]2342-matt said a few days . There ’s more than a few days ’[2342-matt] worth of clothes in [here]314-here , all hanging neatly in [their]2093-their own little space . [I]2342-matt smile at the thought of [Jesse]327-jesse making a little gap for [me]2342-matt in [his]327-jesse vast wardrobe . Did [he]327-jesse unpack [my]2342-matt things ? [I]2342-matt pad back out to one of the two chests of drawers [I]2342-matt had made in [Italy]7-italy . Pulling open the first drawer , [I]2342-matt find three neat piles of boxer shorts , in black , white and grey – all [Armani]256-armani . [They]2094-they look brand new . [I]2342-matt work [my]2342-matt way to the next drawer , finding dress socks . Does [he]327-jesse have them ironed ? [I]2342-matt open another to discover belts – all coiled neatly , in every shade of black and brown leather [you]2095-you could imagine . [He]327-jesse ’s a neat freak . Oh , this is bad news ! [I]2342-matt ’m shockingly untidy at [home]281-home . [I]2342-matt shut the drawer , opening the last one , but all [I]2342-matt find are sports socks and various caps . [I]2342-matt proceed to open every drawer on the other chest – all occupied with an array of running shorts and vests . Giving up and with [my]2342-matt towel still wrapped around [me]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt make [my]2342-matt way [downstairs]2323-downstairs to [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , finding [Jesse]327-jesse with [his]327-jesse head in the fridge . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ca n’t find [my]2342-matt stuff . ’ [I]2342-matt inform the fridge door . [His]327-jesse head pops up from behind the fridge , [his]327-jesse eyes running up and down [my]2342-matt towel clad body . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ll take naked . ’ [he]327-jesse says , shutting the door and sauntering over to [me]181-cathy with a jar of peanut butter . ‘[181-cathy] [Cathy]181-cathy ’s off and the fridge is empty . [I]2342-matt ’ll order in , what do [you]2342-matt fancy ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt , ’ [I]2342-matt grin . [He]327-jesse smiles , reaches forward and whips the towel off , throwing it to the side and running [his]327-jesse appreciative gaze down [my]2342-matt naked body . ‘[2342-matt] [[Your]2342-matt God]1995-your god needs to feed [his]1995-your god temptress . ’ [He]1995-your god flashes [his]1995-your god dancing eyes to [mine]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] The rest of [your]2342-matt stuff is in [that dirty great big wooden truck]2097-that dirty great big wooden truck that [you]2342-matt had dumped in [[my]2342-matt bedroom]2495-my bedroom . What do [you]2342-matt want to eat ? ’ [I]2342-matt ignore [him]1995-your god and shrug . [I]2342-matt could eat anything . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m easy . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt know , but what do [you]2342-matt want to eat ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt must stop saying that . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] only easy with [you]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt grumble . [He]1995-your god thinks [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] easy ? ‘ [You]2342-matt fucking better be . Now , tell [me]2342-matt , what do [you]2342-matt want to eat ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt like anything , [you]2342-matt choose . What time is it , anyway ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’ve lost all concept of time . In fact , [I]2342-matt lose all concept of everything when [I]2342-matt ’m with [him]1995-your god . ‘[2342-matt] Seven , go and dry [your]2342-matt hair before [I]2342-matt abandon dinner and take [you]2342-matt again . ’ [He]1995-your god turns [me]2099-i around , smacking [my]2099-i backside to send [me]2099-i on [my]2099-i way . [I]2099-i take [my]2099-i naked body back up [the stairs]272-the stairs to fulfill [his]1995-your god instructions . When [I]2099-i reach the top and take a left to [the Master suite]694-the master suite , [I]2099-i glance down and see [Jesse]327-jesse stood by the archway to [the kitchen]535-the bedroom , quietly watching [me]2099-i . [I]2099-i blow [him]1995-your god a kiss as [I]2099-i disappear into [the bedroom]535-the bedroom , just catching a glimpse of [his]1995-your god knee trembling smile as [he]1995-your god vanishes from view . Forty five minutes later , [my]2099-i hair ’s received the blow - dry it deserves , [I]2099-i ’ve cleansed , toned and moisturised , and [I]2099-i ’ve got a clean set of lace underwear on . [Kate]2557-kate ’s forgotten to pack any comfy chill out clothes – of all the things [she]2557-kate could forget . But then , [Jesse]327-jesse did hijack [her]2557-kate at some [God]2383-god forsaken hour this morning , so [she]2557-kate probably just shoved in whatever [she]2557-kate could lay [her]2557-kate hands on . [I]2099-i have [my]2099-i new Thai fisherman pants but no top . [I]2099-i go to [the wardrobe]1993-the wardrobe and grab a white shirt . [I]2099-i do n’t pick the most expensive one this time , although [I]2099-i ’m[2099-i] sure [they]2099-i ’re all pretty costly . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt was just coming to find [you]2100-you . ’ [He]2342-matt pauses from forking various dishes onto two plates . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt like [your]2100-you shirt . ’ ‘[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate did n’t pack [me]2342-matt any slobby clothes . ’ ‘[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate did n’t ? ’ [He]2342-matt raises an eyebrow , and [I]2557-kate know instantly , [Kate]2557-kate did pack [me]2557-kate some slobby clothes . That or [she]2557-kate did n’t pack at all – [I]2557-kate suspect it ’s the latter . ‘[2557-kate] Where do [you]2100-you want to eat ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m e … ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt snap [my]2342-matt mouth shut on a shrug . ‘ Only for [me]2342-matt , yes ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt grins , shoving a bottle of water under [his]2342-matt arm and picking up the plates . ‘ [We]3480-we ’ll slum it on the sofa . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt leads [me]2342-matt into the colossal open space and nods at the gigantic sofa . [I]2342-matt sit in the corner section , accepting the plate [he]2342-matt hands [me]2342-matt . It smells delicious and it ’s Chinese . Perfect . The doors on the massive television cabinet start sliding across , revealing the biggest , frameless , flat screen T.V [I]2342-matt ’ve ever laid [my]2342-matt eyes on . ‘ Do [you]2342-matt want to watch television or would [you]2342-matt prefer music and conversation ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt looks at [me]2342-matt on a small smile . [My]2342-matt fork is hanging out of [my]2342-matt mouth . [I]2342-matt did n’t realise how hungry [I]2342-matt was . [I]2342-matt chew and swallow as soon as [I]2342-matt can . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll take music and conversation , please . ’[2342-matt] That was an easy choice . [He]2342-matt nods , like [he]2342-matt knew that would be [my]2342-matt answer , and the next thing [I]2342-matt know , [the room]2350-the room is swamped in the calming tones of [Mumford]257-mumford and [Sons]258-sons . This is a surprise . [I]2342-matt cross [my]2342-matt legs and sit back . [I]2342-matt made a good choice with this sofa . ‘ Good ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt glance over and find [him]2342-matt facing [me]2342-matt , one knee up and [his]2342-matt arm resting on the back of the sofa holding [his]2342-matt plate . ‘ Very , [you]2342-matt do n’t cook ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile around [my]2342-matt fork . ‘ Why , [Mr Ward]327-jesse , is that something [you]2342-matt do n’t do well ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt ca n’t be amazing at everything . ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt says , completely straight faced , studying [me]2342-matt closely . [He]2342-matt really is [an over - confident arse]2102-an over - confident arse . ‘ [[Your]2342-matt housekeeper]3481-your housekeeper cooks for [you]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ If [I]2342-matt ask [her]3481-your housekeeper to , but most of the time [I]2342-matt eat at [The Manor]2356-the manor . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt suppose it makes sense that [he]2342-matt ’d take advantage of the lovely food at [his]2342-matt disposal . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt would . ‘ How old are [you]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt pauses with [his]2342-matt fork midway to [his]2342-matt mouth . ‘ Thirty - ish , ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt takes [his]2342-matt forkful of food , watching [me]2342-matt as [he]2342-matt chews . ‘ -ish , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mouth . ‘ Yes , [ish]2342-matt , ’[2342-matt] A smile plays on the corners of [his]2342-matt lips . [I]2342-matt return to [my]2342-matt food , not in the least bit bothered by [his]2342-matt vague answer . [I]2342-matt ’ll keep asking ; [he]2342-matt ’ll keep evading . Maybe [I]2342-matt should try with [my]2342-matt own versions of persuasion – maybe a truth fuck or a countdown ? What would [I]2342-matt do to [him]2342-matt on zero ? [I]2342-matt drift into musing over exactly what [I]2342-matt could do on zero , between mouthfuls of [my]2342-matt Chinese dinner . [I]2342-matt can think of plenty , but nothing [I]2342-matt could carry out with ease . [He]2342-matt ’d overpower [me]2342-matt , very easily . The countdown is off the menu , so it ’s a truth fuck then . [I]2342-matt need to invent the truth fuck . What could [I]2342-matt do ? ‘ [Ava]832-ava ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look up , finding [Jesse]327-jesse and [his]327-jesse frown line studying [me]2342-matt . ‘ Yes ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Dreaming ? ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse asks , [his]327-jesse voice laced with concern . ‘ Sorry . ’[327-jesse] [I]2342-matt put [my]2342-matt fork down . ‘ [I]2342-matt was miles away . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]2342-matt were , ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse takes [my]2342-matt plate and slides it onto the coffee table . ‘ Where were [you]2342-matt ? ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse reaches over to pull [me]2342-matt into [his]327-jesse lap . [I]2342-matt snuggle happily . ‘ Nowhere . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse shifts up the sofa , taking [my]2342-matt place in the corner , positioning [me]2342-matt under [his]327-jesse arm . [I]2342-matt rest [my]2342-matt cheek on [his]327-jesse bare chest , throw [my]2342-matt leg over [his]327-jesse groin and inhale [him]327-jesse in [his]327-jesse entire fresh water splendor . [I]2342-matt sigh , letting the soft music and the feel of [Jesse]327-jesse ease [me]2342-matt into a peaceful rest . ‘ [I]327-jesse love having [you]327-jesse here . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse says quietly , playing with a lock of [my]2342-matt hair . [I]2342-matt really love being here too , but not as a puppet . Would it always be like this ? [I]2342-matt could do exactly this , day in , day out – it ’s been a lovely day . But could [I]2342-matt live with the controlling , unreasonable side of [him]327-jesse ? [I]2342-matt run [my]2342-matt finger along the line of [his]327-jesse scar . ‘ [I]2342-matt love being here too . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt whisper . [I]2342-matt really do , especially when [he]327-jesse ’s like this . ‘ Good . So [you]327-jesse ’ll stay ? ’[327-jesse] What ? Tonight ? ‘ Yes . Tell [me]327-jesse how [you]327-jesse got this . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse reaches down , clasping [my]2342-matt hand to prevent any further touching of [the area]2103-the area . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [I]327-jesse really do n’t like talking about it . ’[327-jesse] Oh ? ‘ [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] sorry . ’ [I]327-jesse feel bad . That was a plea . Something terrible happened to [him]327-jesse , and it makes [me]327-jesse feel sick to know that [he]327-jesse was hurt in some way . [He]327-jesse pulls [my]327-jesse hand up to [his]327-jesse face and kisses [my]327-jesse palm . ‘[327-jesse] Please , do n’t be . It ’s not something that ’s important to the here and now . Dragging up [my]2342-matt past serves no purpose other than to remind [me]2342-matt of it . ’ [His]327-jesse past ? So , [he]327-jesse has a past ? Well , [everyone]282-everyone has a past , but the way [he]327-jesse said it and the fact that [we]3484-we ’re[327-jesse] talking about a vicious scar here makes [me]2342-matt really nervous . [I]2342-matt look up at [him]2104-him . ‘ What did [you]2105-you mean when [you]2105-you said that things are easier to bear when [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] here ? ’ [He]327-jesse looks down and places [his]327-jesse hand on the back of [my]2342-matt head , pushing [my]2342-matt cheek back down to [his]327-jesse chest . ‘[2342-matt] It means [I]2342-matt like having [you]2105-you around . ’ [His]327-jesse tone is dismissive . [I]2342-matt do n’t believe [him]327-jesse for a minute , but [I]2342-matt leave it anyway . Does it matter ? [I]2342-matt push [my]2342-matt lips into the void between [his]327-jesse pecs , nuzzling into [him]327-jesse , while giving [myself]2342-matt a mental ticking off . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] basking in the sun on [Central Jesse Cloud Nine]46-central jesse cloud nine , and [I]2342-matt ’m loving every minute of it , until the need for another countdown or a sense fuck . And it will come – [I]2342-matt have no doubt . Chapter 35 [I]2342-matt wake abruptly and sit up in bed . [I]2342-matt feel refreshed , revitalised and rested . This bed is way too comfortable . Getting back in [mine]2342-matt after a few nights here is going to be a bit of a come down . The only thing that ’s missing is [Jesse]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt peek under the covers , finding [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] still in [my]2342-matt underwear , but the shirt has been removed . [I]2342-matt do n’t remember coming to bed . [I]2342-matt sit quietly for a few moments , listening to a constant whirring sound , accompanied by a consistent thud , thud , thud in the distance . What is that ? [I]2342-matt make the long journey to the edge of the bed and out onto the landing , where the sounds are slightly louder but still muffled . [I]2342-matt scan the space below , seeing no sign of [Jesse]327-jesse . Deciding [he]327-jesse must be in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , [I]2342-matt make [my]2342-matt way down [the stairs]272-the stairs , but as [I]2342-matt approach the archway into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , [I]2342-matt stop and back track . [I]2342-matt look through the glass door to [the gym]2108-the gym , set on an angle just before [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , and see [Jesse]327-jesse in a pair of running shorts , going hell for leather on [the treadmill]2109-the treadmill . Well , that explains the strange distant noise . [I]2342-matt watch [him]327-jesse running with [his]327-jesse back to [me]2342-matt , [his]327-jesse solid expanse of skin shimmering with sweat beads as [he]327-jesse watches the sports news on the suspended T.V in front of [him]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt leave [him]327-jesse be . [I]2342-matt ’ve already disturbed one run . [I]2342-matt make [my]2342-matt way into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen to fill the kettle and go about making [myself]2342-matt a coffee . It ’s not [Starbucks]12-starbucks , but it ’ll do . The familiar sound of [my]2342-matt phones ring tone fills [the room]2349-the kitchen , and [I]2342-matt look across [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen to see it charging on [the worktop]2614-the worktop . [I]2342-matt scoop it up and disconnect it from [the charger]2111-the charger . It ’s [[my]2342-matt mother]2026-my mother . [I]2342-matt ’m promptly reminded of [her]2026-my mother call to [me]577-mum yesterday – the one that [I]577-mum ’ve not yet returned and really , really do n’t want to . [My]577-mum wide awake , good mood is instantly drowned out . ‘[577-mum] Hi , [Mum]577-mum . ’ [I]577-mum greet cheerfully , screwing [my]577-mum face up in apprehension . Here come the twenty questions . ‘[577-mum] Oh , [you]577-mum ’re alive . [Joseph]95-joseph , cancel the search party . [I]2342-matt ’ve found [her]2026-my mother ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes at [[my]2342-matt mum]577-mum ’s idea of funny . Obviously , [she]2026-my mother was expecting a call back before now . ‘ Point taken . What did [Matt]2342-matt want ? ’[2026-my mother] ‘ [I]2026-my mother have no idea . [The man]2342-matt never called [us]3486-us once when [you]3487-you were together . [He]2342-matt asked how [we]3486-us were , made small talk , [you]3487-you know . It was all very strange . Why is [he]2342-matt calling [us]3486-us , [Ava]832-ava ? ’[2026-my mother] ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t know , [Mum]577-mum . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt moan tiredly , but [I]2342-matt suspect [I]2342-matt do . [He]2113-he ’s on a worming mission . ‘ [He]2113-he mentioned [another man]3196-another man . ’[2113-he] ‘ [He]2113-he did ? ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt tone is high pitched , a complete give away to [my]2342-matt surprise and probably [my]2342-matt guilt too . Damn [you]2114-you , [Jesse Ward]327-jesse , for intercepting [my]2342-matt phone . It would have been easier to brush off [Matt]2342-matt ’s tales if [I]2342-matt did n’t have to explain about [the mystery man who answered [my]2342-matt phone yesterday]2342-matt . ‘ Yes , [he]2342-matt said [you]2114-you were seeing [someone else]587-someone . So soon , [Ava]832-ava . Really ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [Mum]577-mum , [I]587-someone ’m[587-someone] not seeing [someone else]587-someone . ’ [I]2342-matt do a quick check over [my]2342-matt shoulder to make sure [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] still alone . [I]2342-matt ’m doing more than seeing [someone]587-someone . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] in love with [someone]587-someone . ‘ Who was [that man who answered [your]2116-you phone]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2116-you told [you]2116-you , just [a friend]2645-a friend . ’[2116-you] Please drop it ! ‘ Good . [You]2116-you ’re[2116-you] in [your]2116-you mid - twenties , in [London Town]52-london town and fresh out of a shitty relationship . Do n’t be falling into the arms of [the first man]327-jesse that shows [you]2116-you a bit of attention . ’ [I]327-jesse blush scarlet on the spot , even though [she]327-jesse ca n’t see [me]327-jesse . [I]327-jesse do n’t think [you]2116-you could describe what [this man]327-jesse gives [me]327-jesse as “ a bit of attention ” . At only forty seven [herself]327-jesse and having had [Dan]93-dan at just eighteen and [me]327-jesse at twenty one , [she]327-jesse missed out on all the benefits of being young in [London]5-london . [She]327-jesse ’s now retired in [Newquay]19-newquay before the age of fifty . [I]327-jesse know [she]327-jesse wo n’t be pleased if [she]327-jesse finds out [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] being swallowed up in lust . ‘ [I]327-jesse wo n’t , [Mum]577-mum . [I]327-jesse ’m[327-jesse] just having lots of fun , ’ [I]2118-i assure [her]327-jesse . [I]2118-i ’m[2118-i] having fun all right . Just not the sort of fun that [she]2118-i has in mind . ‘ How ’s [Dad]581-dad ? ’[2118-i] ‘ Oh , [you]581-dad know . Golf mad , [badminton mad , cricket mad]3490-badminton mad , cricket mad . [He]581-dad has to keep on the go or [he]581-dad ’ll go mad . ’[2118-i] ‘ It ’s better than sitting on [his]581-dad backside all day , though . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say , collecting a mug from the cupboard . [I]2342-matt make [my]2342-matt way to the fridge . ‘ [He]581-dad made such a fuss about leaving [the city]2326-the city , but [I]2342-matt knew [he]581-dad would be dead in a few years if [I]2342-matt did n’t get [him]581-dad out . Now [I]2342-matt ca n’t tie [him]581-dad down for anything . [He]581-dad ’s always got something happening . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt open the fridge – no milk . ‘ That ’s good , is n’t it ? Keeping [him]581-dad active ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt sit [myself]2342-matt on the bar stool without [my]2342-matt needed coffee . ‘ Oh , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not complaining . [He]2119-he ’s lost a few pounds too . ’ ‘[2119-he] How much ? ’ This is good . [Everyone]282-everyone always said [Dad]581-dad was [a walking heart attack candidate]3493-a walking heart attack candidate , with [his]581-dad weight , love of a few too many pints and a stressful job . As it turns out , [everyone]282-everyone was right . ‘[2119-he] Just over a stone , ’ ‘[2342-matt] Wow , [I]2342-matt ’m impressed . ’[2342-matt] ‘ No more than [me]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . So , what have [you]832-ava got to report ? ’[2342-matt] Loads ! ‘ Nothing much , [I]2342-matt ’ve been stacked out at work . [I]2342-matt secured the next project from [the developer of [Lusso]66-lusso]1072-the developer of lusso . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt need to talk work . [I]2342-matt ’ll have no hair left if [she]2120-she starts prying into [my]2342-matt social life . ‘ Brilliant ! [I]2120-she was showing [Sue]97-sue the photos on the internet . [The penthouse]2332-the penthouse ! ’[2120-she] [she]2120-she sings . Yes , [I]2342-matt ’m sat in it now . ‘[2342-matt] Yeah , ’ [I]2342-matt need some wine . ‘[2342-matt] Can [you]2121-you imagine living in such luxury ? [[Your]2121-you Dad]581-dad and [I]2342-matt are not short of a few , but that ’s a whole other level of wealth . ’ ‘[2342-matt] It is , ’ [I]2342-matt agree . Okay , the subject of work has n’t gone as [I]2342-matt planned . ‘[2342-matt] What time does [Dan]93-dan land tomorrow ? ’ [I]93-dan blurt to divert the conversation . ‘[93-dan] Nine in the morning . Are [you]2121-you coming down with [him]93-dan ? ’ [I]2342-matt flop forward onto [the worktop]2614-the worktop . [I]2342-matt ’ve hardly given [Dan]93-dan ’s impending arrival a second thought . What with all the crazy shit going on , [I]2342-matt ’ve not had a chance . [I]2342-matt feel guilty all of a sudden . [I]2342-matt ’ve not seen [him]93-dan for six months . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t think so , [Mum]577-mum . [I]2342-matt ’m just so busy . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt whine , mentally pleading for [her]577-mum to understand . ‘ That ’s disappointing , but [I]577-mum understand . Maybe [Dad]581-dad and [I]577-mum could come up to see [you]581-dad when [you]581-dad ’ve sorted a place of [your]581-dad own ? ’[577-mum] [She]577-mum ’s hinting that [I]2342-matt need to pull [my]2342-matt finger out . [I]2342-matt ’ve done nothing in that area of [my]2342-matt life . ‘ That would be really good . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t fake [my]2342-matt enthusiasm . [I]2342-matt would love for [Mum]577-mum and [Dad]581-dad to come back to [London]5-london for a visit . [They]2123-they have n’t been back since [they]2123-they left , and [I]2342-matt know it ’s because [they]2123-they both secretly worry [they]2123-they ’ll want to move back to [the hustle]2124-the hustle and bustle . ‘ Wonderful . [I]2123-they ’ll speak to [[your]2123-they Dad]581-dad . [I]2123-they ’d better go . Send [my]2123-they love to [Kate]2557-kate . ’[2123-they] ‘ [I]2342-matt will , [I]2342-matt ’ll ring next week when [Dan]93-dan ’s there . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt add quickly before [she]577-mum hangs up . ‘ [Lovely]430-lovely . Take care , [darling]430-lovely . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Bye , [Mum]577-mum . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt slide [my]2342-matt phone across the counter and drop [my]2342-matt head in [my]2342-matt hands . If only [she]577-mum knew . [[My]2342-matt Dad]578-my dad would probably have another heart attack if [he]578-my dad found out about [my]2342-matt current state of affairs , and [[my]2342-matt Mum]578-my dad would be moving [me]2342-matt down to [Newquay]19-newquay . The only reason [[my]2342-matt Dad]578-my dad did n’t drive up after [me]2342-matt and [Matt]2342-matt split up was because [Mum]577-mum called [Kate]2557-kate to find out if [I]2342-matt really was okay . What would [they]2126-they think if [they]2126-they knew [I]2342-matt was caught up with [a neurotic , self - assured control freak]2127-a neurotic , self - assured control freak , who is – in [his]2127-a neurotic , self - assured control freak own words – fucking [me]2342-matt into oblivion ? The fact that [he]2127-a neurotic , self - assured control freak ’s [super wealthy]2128-super wealthy and owns [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse would not soften the blow . [Christ]72-jesus , [Jesse]327-jesse is probably closer to [[my]2342-matt Mum]577-mum in age than [I]2342-matt am . [I]2342-matt swing round on [my]2342-matt stool when [I]2342-matt hear a commotion coming from outside of [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . Getting up to go and investigate , [I]2342-matt ’m nearly taken off [my]2342-matt feet when [Jesse]327-jesse ’s naked chest flies at [me]2342-matt . WHOA ! ‘[2342-matt] Fucking hell , there [you]2131-you are . ’ [He]2132-he grabs [me]2342-matt , lifting [me]2342-matt up to [his]2132-he sweat riddled body . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2131-you were n’t in bed . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt splutter in [my]2342-matt dazed state . [He]2132-he ’s squeezing [me]2342-matt so tight , [I]2342-matt ’m struggling to breathe . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt saw [you]2131-you running . [I]2342-matt did n’t want to disturb [you]2131-you . ’ [I]2342-matt wriggle a little to indicate that [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] being constricted to death . [He]2132-he releases [me]2342-matt , setting [me]2342-matt back on [my]2342-matt feet , [his]2132-he glistening , stubbled face giving [me]2342-matt the once over . [His]2132-he panicked features ease a bit as [he]2132-he holds [me]2342-matt steady by [my]2342-matt forearms in front of [him]2132-he . ‘ [I]2132-he was just in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . ’[2132-he] [I]2342-matt repeat . [He]2132-he looks like [he]2132-he could keel over at any moment . What ’s wrong with [him]2132-he ? [He]2132-he shakes [his]2132-he head slightly , as if ridding [himself]2132-he of a nasty thought , picks [me]2342-matt up and walks [me]2342-matt to [the worktop]2614-the worktop , sitting [me]2342-matt on the cold granite . [He]2132-he pushes [his]2132-he way between [my]2342-matt thighs . ‘ Sleep well ? ’[2132-he] ‘ Great . ’[2132-he] Why does [he]2132-he look like [someone]587-someone ’s broken some really crappy news ? ‘ Are [you]2342-matt okay ? ’[2132-he] [He]2132-he blesses [me]2342-matt with a heart stopping smile . [I]2342-matt feel instantly at ease . ‘ [I]2342-matt woke up with [you]2342-matt in [my]2342-matt bed wearing lace . It ’s ten thirty on a Sunday morning and [you]2342-matt ’re[2342-matt] in [[my]2342-matt kitchen]2135-my kitchen … ’ [He]2132-he runs [his]2132-he eyes down [my]2342-matt front , ‘[2342-matt] wearing lace . [I]2342-matt ’m amazing . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]65-ha are ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Oh , [I]2132-he am . ’[2132-he] [He]2132-he tips [my]2342-matt face up , planting a light kiss on [my]2342-matt lips . Oh , [I]2342-matt could wake up to this every morning . ‘ [You]65-ha ’re[65-ha] too beautiful , [lady]65-ha . ’ ‘[65-ha] So are [you]65-ha . ’ [He]2132-he brushes the hair away from [my]65-ha face , looking at [me]65-ha affectionately . ‘[65-ha] Kiss [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]65-ha fulfill [his]2132-he request immediately , taking [his]2132-he lips calmly and following the slow , gentle strokes of [his]2132-he tongue . [We]3499-our both hum in harmony . Oh this is good . But [our]3499-our intimate moment is broken by the loud , shrill of [Jesse]327-jesse ’s phone . [He]2132-he grumbles and reaches past [me]65-ha , still maintaining [our]3499-our kiss . [He]2132-he glances up at the screen as [he]2132-he holds it over [my]65-ha head . ‘[65-ha] Oh , go away . ’ [he]2132-he gripes against [my]236-baby lips . ‘[236-baby] [Baby]236-baby , [I]2342-matt ’ve got to take this . ’ [He]2132-he pulls away and answers , keeping [himself]2132-he firmly between [my]236-baby thighs , [his]2132-he free hand around [my]236-baby waist . ‘[236-baby] What ’s up , [John]832-ava ? ’ [He]2132-he starts chewing [his]2132-he lip . ‘[832-ava] What ’s [he]832-ava doing there ? ’ [He]832-ava drops a chaste kiss on [my]832-ava lips . ‘[832-ava] No , [I]2342-matt ’ll be there … yes … see [you]832-ava in a bit . ’ [He]832-ava hangs up and studies [me]832-ava thoughtfully for a few seconds . ‘[832-ava] [I]2342-matt need to go to [The Manor]2356-the manor . [You]832-ava ’ll come . ’ [I]832-ava recoil . ‘[832-ava] No ! ’ [I]832-ava blurt . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] not being yanked off of [Central Jesse Cloud Nine]46-central jesse cloud nine by [her]46-central jesse cloud nine ! [He]832-ava frowns . ‘ But [I]832-ava want [you]832-ava to come . ’[832-ava] Absolutely not ! It ’s Sunday , [I]2342-matt ’m not working and [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not going to [The Manor]2356-the manor . ‘ [You]832-ava ’ll be working . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt search [my]2342-matt brain for a feasible excuse for [me]2342-matt not to go . ‘ [You]832-ava do what [you]832-ava need to do , and [I]2342-matt ’ll see [you]832-ava afterwards . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt reason instead . ‘ No , [you]832-ava ’ll come . ’[832-ava] [he]832-ava presses forcefully . ‘ [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] not coming . ’ [I]832-ava try to wriggle [myself]832-ava free of [his]832-ava grasp , but [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] going nowhere . ‘ Why ? ’[832-ava] ‘ Just because , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt snap , earning [myself]2342-matt a mighty scowl . [I]2342-matt ’m not about to start whining about [Sarah]54-victoria and off loading trivial jealousies on [him]832-ava . [He]832-ava searches [my]2342-matt eyes . ‘[2342-matt] Please , [Ava]832-ava . Will [you]832-ava just do what [you]832-ava ’re told ? ’[832-ava] ‘ No ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout . [I]2342-matt watch as [he]832-ava closes [his]832-ava eyes , clearly trying to gather some patience , but [I]2342-matt do n’t care . [He]832-ava can force [me]2342-matt to do many things , but [I]2342-matt ’m not going to [The Manor]2356-the manor . [I]832-ava sit on [the worktop]2614-the worktop , waiting for [him]832-ava to disintegrate under [my]832-ava disobedience . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , why do [you]832-ava insist on making things more difficult ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt make things more difficult ? ’ [I]2342-matt gape at [him]832-ava . It ’s [him]832-ava that needs some sense fucking into [him]832-ava . [He]832-ava ’s deluded . ‘[2342-matt] Yes , [you]832-ava do . [I]2342-matt ’m trying really hard here . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Trying hard to do what ? Send [me]2342-matt crazy ? It ’s working ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt beat [him]832-ava away from [me]2342-matt and storm out of [the kitchen]535-the bedroom , hearing [him]832-ava curse as [he]832-ava follows [me]2342-matt up [the stairs]272-the stairs . ‘ Okay ! ’[832-ava] [he]832-ava yells from behind [me]2342-matt . ‘ [You]832-ava will wait here . [I]832-ava ’ll be as quick as [I]832-ava can . ’[832-ava] ‘ [I]2342-matt ’ll go [home]281-home . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout over [my]2342-matt shoulder , continuing on [my]2342-matt way and shutting [myself]2342-matt in [the bathroom]535-the bedroom when [I]2342-matt get there . [I]2342-matt ’m not waiting around for [him]832-ava to come back . [His]832-ava being reasonable and relenting to [my]2342-matt refusal to go with [him]832-ava has just been trampled by the follow up of “ [you]832-ava will wait here ” . [I]2342-matt WILL do no such thing ! [I]2342-matt splash [my]2342-matt face with cold water to try and cool down [my]2342-matt raging temper . Why has [he]832-ava not given [me]2342-matt the countdown ? That ’s what [he]832-ava usually does when [I]2342-matt do n’t conform . [I]2342-matt hear [him]832-ava in [the bedroom]535-the bedroom on [his]832-ava phone . Wondering who [he]832-ava ’s talking to , [I]2342-matt open the door . ‘[2342-matt] See [you]2140-you in a while . ’ [He]832-ava hangs up , throwing [his]832-ava phone on the bed . Who is [he]832-ava seeing in a while ? [He]832-ava stands with [his]832-ava back to [me]2342-matt for a long time , [his]832-ava head dropped . [He]832-ava ’s thinking , and [I]2342-matt feel like an impostor all of a sudden . Eventually , [he]832-ava exhales heavily and turns towards [me]2342-matt . [He]832-ava watches [me]2342-matt for a short time before heading into [the bathroom]2350-the room to take a shower . [I]2342-matt stand in the middle of [the room]2350-the room wondering what to do . [He]832-ava ’s acting strange . No countdown ; [no manhandling]3504-no manhandling . What ’s going on ? Yesterday was so perfect , and now [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] back to mind meltdown . It looks like [I]2342-matt did n’t need [Sarah]54-victoria to yank [me]2342-matt off of [Central Jesse Cloud Nine]46-central jesse cloud nine after all . [I]2342-matt ’ve managed to do that all by [myself]2342-matt . Ten minutes later , [I]2342-matt ’m still stood twiddling [my]2342-matt thumbs , trying to work out what to do with [myself]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt hear the shower shut off . [He]832-ava comes out of [the bathroom]1993-the wardrobe , heading straight into [the wardrobe]1993-the wardrobe without a word . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] troubled by [his]2141-he defeated expression that also harbours a bit of sorrow . [I]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt actually want [him]2141-he to explode or give [me]2342-matt the countdown . [I]2342-matt have no idea what [he]2141-he ’s thinking , and it ’s the most frustrating feeling in [the world]516-the world . [He]2141-he appears at the wardrobe door . ‘ [I]2141-he need to go . ’[2141-he] [he]2141-he utters regretfully . [He]2141-he looks completely tormented . ‘ [Kate]2557-kate ’s on [her]2557-kate way over . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt frown . ‘ Why ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ So [you]2557-kate do n’t leave . ’[2141-he] [He]2141-he goes back into [the wardrobe]1993-the wardrobe , [me]2342-matt following swiftly behind . Pulling some jeans on , [he]2141-he looks up at [me]2342-matt briefly but gives nothing away . [He]2141-he grabs a black t - shirt from a hanger , pulling it on over [his]2141-he head quickly , before [he]2141-he sets about getting [his]2141-he Converse on . ‘ [I]2141-he ’m[2141-he] going [home]281-home . ’ [I]2141-he assert , but [he]2141-he still does n’t look at [me]2141-he . What ’s wrong with [him]2141-he ? [I]2141-he can feel [my]2141-he temper flaring at [his]2141-he lack of receptiveness , and not knowing what else to do , [I]2141-he start pulling down [my]2141-he clothes from [the hangers]3506-the hangers , draping them over [my]2141-he arms as [I]2141-he do . ‘[2141-he] What are [you]2145-you doing ? ’ [He]2141-he takes them from [my]2145-you hands , hanging them back up . ‘[2145-you] [You]2145-you ’re not leaving . ’[2141-he] [he]2141-he growls . ‘ Yes , [I]2342-matt am . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout , yanking [them]2146-them back down . ‘ Put the fucking clothes back , [Ava]832-ava ! ’[2141-he] [he]2141-he yells . [I]2342-matt hear a rip of material as [I]2342-matt fight [him]2141-he away , and within a few seconds , [my]2342-matt arms are free of clothes and [I]2342-matt ’m being hauled from the wardrobe . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] pinned to the bed , struggling against [him]2141-he in complete defiance , but [I]2342-matt go nowhere . If [he]2141-he tries to fuck [me]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt ’ll scream ! ‘ Calm the fuck down ! ’[2141-he] [he]2141-he yells , grabbing [my]2342-matt jaw and pulling it to the centre so [I]2342-matt have to look at [him]2141-he . [I]2342-matt slam [my]2342-matt eyes shut , puffing and panting like [an exhausted greyhound]2147-an exhausted greyhound . [I]2342-matt ’m not going to let [him]2141-he manipulate [me]832-ava with sex . ‘[832-ava] Open [your]2342-matt eyes , [Ava]832-ava . ’ ‘[832-ava] No ! ’ [I]832-ava sound so childish , but [I]832-ava know if [I]832-ava do , [I]832-ava ’ll be swallowed up in lust . ‘[832-ava] Open ! ’ [He]2148-he shakes [my]832-ava jaw slightly . ‘[832-ava] No ! ’ ‘[832-ava] Fine , ’ [he]2148-he shouts , while [I]832-ava continue to struggle . ‘[832-ava] Listen to [me]2342-matt , [lady]832-ava . [You]832-ava ’re not going anywhere . [I]2148-he ’ve told [you]832-ava repeatedly , so get fucking use to it ! ’[2148-he] [He]2148-he shifts [his]2148-he body so [he]2148-he has a firmer grip of [me]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2148-he ’m[2148-he] going to [The Manor]2356-the manor , and when [I]2342-matt get back , [we]2150-us ’re going to sit down to talk about [us]2150-us . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt stop struggling . Talk about [us]2150-us ? What ? Like a proper discussion about what the hell is going on here because [I]2342-matt ’m desperate to know this . ‘[2342-matt] Cards on the table , [Ava]832-ava . No more fucking about , no more drunken confessions and no more holding out on [me]2342-matt . Do [you]832-ava understand ? ’ [His]2148-he breathing is heavy , [his]2148-he tone determined . This is what [I]832-ava ’ve wanted all along – clarity and understanding of [our]2150-us relationship . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] so bloody confused . [I]2342-matt need to know what all this is and then , maybe , [I]2342-matt can work out whether [I]2342-matt need to break away . And what ’s this about drunken confessions and holding out ? [I]2342-matt open [my]2342-matt eyes to sludgy green gazing down at [me]2342-matt . [He]2151-he relaxes [his]2151-he grip on [my]2342-matt jaw . ‘ Come with [me]2151-he , [I]2151-he need [you]2151-he with [me]2151-he . ’[2151-he] [He]2151-he ’s almost pleading . ‘ Why ? ’[2151-he] ‘ [I]2342-matt just do . Why wo n’t [you]2151-he come ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt take a deep breath . ‘ [I]2342-matt do n’t feel comfortable . ’[2342-matt] There , that ’s the truth . [He]2151-he should be able to figure out for [himself]2151-he why [I]2342-matt do n’t feel comfortable at [The Manor]2356-the manor . [He]2151-he ca n’t be that stupid . ‘ Why do n’t [you]2151-he feel comfortable ? ’[2151-he] Okay . Maybe [he]2151-he is that stupid . ‘ [I]2151-he just do n’t . ’[2151-he] [I]2342-matt snap . [His]2151-he brow knits and [he]2151-he commences lip chomping . ‘ Please , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2151-he] [I]2342-matt shake [my]2342-matt head . ‘ [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] not coming . ’ [He]2151-he sighs . ‘[2342-matt] Promise [me]2342-matt that [you]2153-he ’ll be [here]314-here when [I]2342-matt get [home]281-home then . [We]2156-we need to sort this shit out . ’ ‘[2156-we] [I]2342-matt ’ll be here . ’ [I]2342-matt assure [him]2151-he . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] desperate to sort this shit out . [I]2342-matt ’m not going anywhere . ‘[2342-matt] Thank [you]2153-he . ’ [he]2151-he whispers , resting [his]2151-he forehead on [mine]2342-matt and clenching [his]2151-he eyes shut . [I]2342-matt feel immense hope blossoming inside [me]2342-matt at [his]2151-he determination to sort this shit out . [He]2151-he lifts [himself]2151-he , without so much as kissing [me]2342-matt , and leaves [the room]2350-the room . [I]2342-matt stay on the bed , recovering from [my]2342-matt pointless physical battle , wondering what ’s going to be established from the laying of cards and sorting of shit . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] torn between admitting to [him]2153-he how [I]2342-matt feel , or waiting to hear what [he]2153-he has to say first . What will [he]2153-he say ? So much needs clarifying . What is [us]2157-us ? Intense hot affair or more ? [I]2342-matt need it to be more , but [I]2342-matt ca n’t cope with [his]2153-he trampling and unreasonableness . It ’s exhausting . There was no denying the look of pure torment on [his]2153-he handsome face . What ’s running through that complex mind of [his]2153-he ? Why does [he]2153-he need [me]2342-matt ? So many questions … [I]2342-matt close [my]2342-matt eyes , trying to re - establish some steady breaths , and find [myself]2342-matt drifting into a semi - exhausted coma . The phone next to the bed starts ringing , snapping [my]2342-matt eyes open . [Kate]2557-kate ! [I]2342-matt scramble up the bed and answer . ‘ Send [her]2557-kate up , [Clive]101-clive . ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt fling a t - shirt on and run down [the stairs]272-the stairs , throwing the door open as [Kate]2557-kate exits [the elevator]780-the elevator . [I]2342-matt ’m so glad to see [her]2557-kate , but why [he]2153-he thinks [I]2342-matt need babysitting is beyond [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt run at [her]2557-kate , flinging [my]2342-matt arms around [her]2557-kate desperately . ‘[2342-matt] Whoa ! Is [someone]587-someone happy to see [me]2342-matt ? ’ [She]2557-kate returns [my]587-someone violent hug , [my]587-someone face buried in [her]2557-kate red locks . [I]587-someone did n’t realise how much [I]587-someone needed to see [her]2557-kate . ‘[587-someone] Are [you]587-someone going to invite [me]2342-matt into [the tower]2161-the tower , or are [we]2162-we staying put ? ’ [I]587-someone pull away . ‘[587-someone] Sorry , ’ [I]2342-matt blow [my]2342-matt hair out of [my]2342-matt face . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m a mess , [Kate]2557-kate . And [you]2557-kate ’ve been letting [men]2420-men rummage through [my]2342-matt things again . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt add on a scowl . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [he]2342-matt turned up at six in the morning , banging until [Sam]1914-sam answered . [I]2342-matt just let [him]2342-matt do [his]2342-matt thing , it ’s not like [anyone]2475-anyone can stop [him]2342-matt . [The man]2342-matt ’s a rhinoceros . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [He]2342-matt ’s more than that . ’[2163-she] [She]2163-she looks at [me]2342-matt all sorrowful , taking [my]2342-matt hand and leading [me]2342-matt back into [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse . ‘ [I]2163-she ca n’t believe [he]2342-matt lives [here]314-here , ’[2163-she] [she]2163-she mutters , directing [me]2342-matt into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen . ‘ Sit . ’[2163-she] [She]2163-she points to a stool . [I]2342-matt rest [my]2342-matt backside on the seat , watching as [Kate]2557-kate refreshes [her]2163-she memory of [the impressive kitchen]2349-the kitchen . ‘ [I]2557-kate ca n’t make [you]3511-you tea because [he]2342-matt has no milk . [The housekeeper]889-a housekeeper is on holiday . ’[2557-kate] ‘ [He]2342-matt has [a housekeeper]889-a housekeeper , ’[2163-she] [she]2163-she says to [herself]2163-she . ‘ Of course [he]2342-matt does . ’[2163-she] [She]2163-she shakes [her]2163-she head and goes to the fridge , collecting two bottles of water , before coming to sit next to [me]2342-matt . ‘ What ’s going on ? ’[2163-she] ‘ What am [I]2342-matt going to do , [Kate]2557-kate ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt rest [my]2342-matt head in [my]2342-matt hands . ‘ [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]2342-matt called [you]2557-kate here , just so [I]2342-matt do n’t leave . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Does n’t that tell [you]2557-kate something ? ’[2163-she] ‘ Yes , that [he]2342-matt ’s [a control freak]3513-a control freak ! [He]2342-matt ’s so intense , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look up to [Kate]2557-kate , who ’s smiling faintly . What ’s to smile about ? [I]2342-matt ’m in turmoil here . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know where [I]2342-matt am with [him]2342-matt . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Have [you]2166-you told [him]2342-matt ? ’ [she]2557-kate asks , with a perfectly plucked brow arched at [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] No , [I]2342-matt ca n’t . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Why ? ’ [she]2557-kate blurts , totally surprised . ‘[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate , [I]2342-matt do n’t know what [I]2342-matt am to [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt can be so gentle and loving , saying things [I]2342-matt ca n’t get [my]2342-matt head around , and the next minute , [he]2342-matt ’s brutally fierce , unreasonable and controlling . [He]2342-matt tries to control [me]2342-matt ! ’ [I]2342-matt open [my]2342-matt water , taking a swig to moisten [my]2342-matt dry mouth . ‘[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt manipulates [me]2342-matt with sex when [I]2342-matt do n’t jump at [his]2342-matt command , tramples [anyone]2475-anyone , including [me]2342-matt , if [they]2475-anyone get in the way of [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt ’s bordering on impossible . No , [he]2342-matt is impossible . ’ [Kate]2557-kate looks at [me]1914-sam with compassion in [her]2557-kate bright blues . ‘[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam told [me]2342-matt [he]2342-matt ’s never seen [Jesse]327-jesse like this before . Apparently , [he]2342-matt ’s famed for [his]2342-matt easy going nature . ’ [I]2557-kate laugh . [I]2557-kate could describe [Jesse]327-jesse with many words . Easy going would not feature anywhere on [my]2557-kate list . ‘[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate , [he]2342-matt ’s not easy going , trust [me]2342-matt . ’ ‘[2557-kate] [You]2557-kate obviously bring out the worst in [him]2342-matt . ’ [She]2557-kate smiles . ‘[2557-kate] Obviously , ’ [I]2342-matt agree . Easy going ? What a joke . ‘[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt brings out the worst in [me]2342-matt too . [He]2342-matt hates [me]2342-matt swearing , so [I]2342-matt do it more . [He]2342-matt has an issue with exposing [my]2342-matt flesh to anyone other than [him]2342-matt , so [I]2342-matt wear shorter dresses . [He]2342-matt tells [me]2342-matt not to get drunk , so [I]2342-matt do . It ’s not healthy , [Kate]2557-kate . One second [he]2342-matt tells [me]2342-matt that [he]2342-matt loves having [me]2342-matt around , the next [I]2342-matt ’m [his]2342-matt current fuck . What am [I]2342-matt supposed to think ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ But [you]2168-you ’re[2342-matt] still here , ’ [she]2426-my best friend says thoughtfully . ‘[2168-you] And [you]2168-you ’re not going to get any answers if [you]2168-you do n’t ask the damn questions . ’[2168-you] ‘ [I]2168-you do ask questions . ’[2168-you] ‘ [The right ones]3514-the right ones ? ’[2426-my best friend] What are the right questions ? [I]2342-matt look at [[my]2342-matt best friend]2426-my best friend and wonder why [she]2426-my best friend ’s not kidnapping [me]2342-matt from [the tower]2161-the tower and hiding [me]2342-matt away from [Jesse]327-jesse . [She]2426-my best friend ’s seen [him]2342-matt in action – surely that would be enough for [any best friend]2171-any best friend to intervene . ‘ Why are [you]2168-you not telling [me]2342-matt to leg it ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask suspiciously . ‘ Is it because [he]2342-matt brought [you]2168-you [a van]981-that van ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ Do n’t be stupid , [Ava]832-ava . [I]2342-matt would toss [that van]981-that van right back at [him]2342-matt if [you]2168-you wanted [me]2342-matt to . [You]2168-you ’re[2342-matt] more important . [I]2342-matt ’m not telling [you]2168-you to leg it because [I]2172-she know [you]2168-you do n’t want to . What [you]2168-you need to be doing is telling [him]2342-matt how [you]2168-you feel , negotiating acceptable levels of intenseness . ’[2172-she] [She]2172-she grins . ‘ In [the bedroom]535-the bedroom is fine , yes ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt smile . ‘ [He]2342-matt said [he]2342-matt ’d make sure [I]2342-matt ’ll always need [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt has . [I]2342-matt really need [him]2342-matt , [Kate]2557-kate . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Talk to [him]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2172-she] [She]2172-she gives [me]2342-matt a little nudge on the shoulder . ‘ [You]832-ava ca n’t go on like this . ’[2172-she] [She]2172-she shakes [her]2172-she head . [I]2342-matt definitely ca n’t go on like this ; [I]2342-matt ’ll be in [an asylum]2173-an asylum within a month . [My]2342-matt heart and brain are being yanked from one side to the other by the hour . [I]2342-matt do n’t know [my]2342-matt arse from [my]2342-matt head . If it means slapping [my]2342-matt heart down on the table for [him]2174-him to trample all over , then so be it . At least [I]2342-matt ’ll know where [I]2342-matt am . [I]2342-matt ’ll recover … eventually … [I]2342-matt think . [I]2342-matt stand up . ‘ Will [you]2174-him take [me]2342-matt to [The Manor]310-whoever ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [I]2342-matt need to do this now before [I]2342-matt bottle it . [I]2342-matt need to tell [him]2174-him how [I]2342-matt feel . [Kate]2557-kate springs from the stool . ‘ Yes ! ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate sings enthusiastically . ‘ [I]2557-kate ’ve been dying to see [this place]310-whoever . ’[2557-kate] ‘ It ’s [a hotel]321-a hotel , [Kate]2557-kate . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt roll [my]2342-matt eyes , but let [her]2557-kate have [her]2557-kate excitement . [[My]2342-matt car]2336-my car ’s at [hers]2557-kate , so [I]2342-matt ’m kind of stuck without [her]2557-kate . ‘[2342-matt] Give [me]2342-matt five . ’ [I]2342-matt run [upstairs]2469-upstairs to change into [my]2342-matt jeans and ballet pumps , meeting [Kate]2557-kate at the front door in record time . [I]2342-matt send [Jesse]327-jesse a quick text to tell [him]327-jesse [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] on [my]2342-matt way . It ’s time to lay [my]2342-matt cards on the table . Chapter 36 [We]2176-we walk into the Sunday evening sunshine , but [I]2342-matt do n’t see [Margo Junior]1052-margo . [I]2342-matt scan the car park for [the big , pink van]2177-the big , pink van , but it ’s not like [you]2178-you can miss the giant heap of metal . ‘ Oh , [I]2557-kate hope [you]2178-you do n’t mind . ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate laughs nervously , just as [I]2342-matt spot [my]2342-matt Mini , roof down and parked in one of [[Jesse]327-jesse ’s spaces]2179-jesse ’s spaces . ‘ [You]2178-you ’re[2180-a cheeky cow] [a cheeky cow]2180-a cheeky cow ! ’ [She]832-ava waves off [my]2180-a cheeky cow insult . ‘[2180-a cheeky cow] Do n’t [you]2178-you narrow those big browns on [me]2342-matt , [Ava O’Shea]832-ava . If [I]2342-matt did n’t drive [her]832-ava , then [she]832-ava would be sat outside [the house]308-the place for eternity . It ’s a waste . ’ The indicators flash , and [I]832-ava put [my]832-ava hand out for the keys , which [she]832-ava reluctantly hands over on a huff . [We]3520-we drive out towards the [Surrey Hills]1-surrey hills discussing the merits of [domineering men]3521-domineering men . [We]3520-we both reach the same conclusion : Yes to sex and no to all other aspects of a relationship . The problem is : [Jesse]327-jesse manages to drag sex into all aspects of [our]3520-we relationship , using it , mostly , to get [his]327-jesse way . And [I]832-ava ca n’t ever seem to say no so [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] pretty much doomed . This could all be over within an hour . The thought sends an unbearable ache to [my]2342-matt stomach , but [I]2342-matt have to be sensible here . [I]2342-matt ’m already in way over [my]2342-matt head . [I]2342-matt pull off [the main road]294-the main road , up to the gates . [They]294-the main road open immediately , letting [me]2342-matt through . ‘[2342-matt] Holy shit ! ’ [Kate]2557-kate exclaims as [we]3520-we drive up [the long , gravel driveway]3523-the long , gravel driveway , flanked by trees . [She]2557-kate ’s in awe already and [she]2557-kate has n’t even seen [the house]308-the place yet . [We]3520-we eventually emerge into [the courtyard]307-the courtyard . It ’s busy . ‘[251-shit] [Holy fucking shit]251-shit ! ’ [She]2557-kate gapes at [the imposing property]3526-the imposing property , leaning forward in [her]2557-kate seat . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse owns this ? ’ ‘[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse does . There ’s [[Sam]1914-sam ’s car]548-the car . ’ [I]1914-sam pull into a space next to [the Porsche]548-the car . ‘[1914-sam] [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]327-jesse comes here to have lunch . ’ [she]2557-kate grumbles , joining [me]1914-sam on [my]1914-sam side of [the car]548-the car . ‘[1914-sam] Holy fucking shit ! ’ [I]2557-kate laugh at [Kate]2557-kate ’s amazement – [she]2557-kate does n’t shock easily . [I]2557-kate lead [her]2557-kate towards the steps , expecting to find [John]832-ava greeting [us]3527-us , but [he]327-jesse does n’t appear . Instead , [I]2557-kate find the double doors ajar , so [I]2557-kate push [my]2557-kate way through . Looking back at [Kate]2557-kate , [I]2557-kate see [her]2557-kate gazing around , open mouthed and wide eyed at the splendid surroundings . ‘[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate , shut [your]2557-kate mouth . ’ [I]2557-kate scorn [her]2557-kate lightly . ‘[2557-kate] Sorry . ’ [She]2557-kate snaps [her]2557-kate mouth shut . ‘[2557-kate] This is one fancy place . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt know . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt want a tour . ’ [she]2557-kate says , craning [her]2557-kate neck to look up [the stairs]272-the stairs . ‘[2342-matt] Get [Sam]1914-sam to give [you]2557-kate a tour . ’ [I]2342-matt say shortly . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt need to see [Jesse]327-jesse . ’ [I]2342-matt head past [the restaurant]361-the bar and towards [the bar]361-the bar , spotting [Sam]1914-sam and [Drew]327-jesse immediately . [Sam]1914-sam gives [me]2342-matt a huge , cheeky grin as [he]1914-sam swigs [his]1914-sam beer , but spits it out when [Kate]2557-kate follows in behind [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] Fuck ! What are [you]2557-kate doing here ? ’ [he]1914-sam splutters . [Drew]327-jesse turns , clocks [Kate]2557-kate and breaks out in uncontrollable laughter . [I]2342-matt frown . [Kate]2557-kate looks less than delighted . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m pleased to see [you]2557-kate too , dick ! ’[2183-she] [she]2183-she spits indignantly at a stunned [Sam]1914-sam . [He]1914-sam quickly shoves [his]1914-sam beer on the bar , pulling a stool up close to [him]1914-sam . ‘ Sit ! ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam bashes the top of the stool , giving [Drew]327-jesse a worried look . ‘ Do n’t order [me]327-jesse about , [Samuel]1914-sam ! ’[327-jesse] The look of disgust on [her]2183-she face is fierce . [I]2342-matt ’ve never seen [Sam]1914-sam so twitchy before . Is [he]1914-sam hiding something ? Perhaps , it ’s [the girl from [Starbucks]12-starbucks]2184-the girl from starbucks ? [He]1914-sam pats the stool again , smiling nervously at [her]2184-the girl from starbucks . ‘ Please , ’[1914-sam] [Kate]2557-kate makes [her]2557-kate way over , resting [her]2557-kate bum on the stool . [Sam]1914-sam pulls [her]2557-kate even closer . [She]2557-kate ’ll be on [his]1914-sam lap soon . ‘ Buy [me]2557-kate a drink . ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate demands on a half - smile . ‘ Just one . ’[1914-sam] [he]1914-sam affirms , signaling to [Mario]89-mario . [Jesus]72-jesus , [he]1914-sam ’s breaking out in a sweat . ‘ [Ava]832-ava ? ’[1914-sam] ‘ No , [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] good . [I]2342-matt ’m going to find [Jesse]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt thumb over [my]2342-matt shoulder as [I]2342-matt start walking backwards . ‘ Does [he]1914-sam know [you]1914-sam ’re[2342-matt] here ? ’ [Sam]1914-sam asks , all wide eyed . What ’s the matter with [him]1914-sam ? ‘[1914-sam] Well , [I]2342-matt text [him]1914-sam , ’ [I]2342-matt glance around the bar , seeing plenty of familiar faces from [my]2342-matt previous few visits to [The Manor]2356-the manor . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] pleased to note there ’s no [Sarah]54-victoria , but this means nothing , of course . [She]54-victoria could be anywhere in [this huge house]2356-the manor . ‘ But [he]1914-sam did n’t reply . ’[54-victoria] [I]2342-matt add . It ’s only now [I]2342-matt realise how strange that is . [Sam]1914-sam gives [Drew]327-jesse a nervous look , prompting [Drew]327-jesse to laugh harder . ‘ Wait here , [I]1914-sam ’ll go and get [him]1914-sam . ’[1914-sam] ‘ [I]2342-matt know where [[his]1914-sam office]279-the office is . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say on a frown . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , will [you]832-ava just wait here ? ’[2342-matt] [Sam]1914-sam ’s face is pure panic . [I]2342-matt ’m super suspicious now . [He]1914-sam fixes [Kate]2557-kate with a stern glare as [he]1914-sam gets up . ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t move . ’ ‘[2342-matt] How much have [you]2186-you had to drink ? ’ [Kate]2557-kate asks , eyeing [his]1914-sam bottle of beer . Has [Kate]2557-kate picked up on [his]1914-sam unease too ? ‘[2342-matt] This is [my]2342-matt first and last , trust [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m going to get [Jesse]327-jesse , then [we]3531-we ’re[2342-matt] leaving . ’ [He]1914-sam looks around the bar nervously . Okay , now [I]1914-sam ’m[1914-sam] convinced [he]1914-sam ’s definitely hiding [someone]587-someone or something . [I]2342-matt ’m beginning to wish [Sarah]54-victoria was in [here]314-here because then [I]2342-matt would know for sure that [she]54-victoria is n’t with [Jesse]327-jesse . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] bristling from head to toe . [He]1914-sam jogs off , leaving [Kate]2557-kate and [I]2342-matt exchanging puzzled faces . ‘ Excuse [me]327-jesse [ladies]458-ladies , ’[327-jesse] [Drew]327-jesse gets up . ‘ [Nature]260-nature calls . ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam leaves [us]2188-us at the bar like a couple of spare parts . ‘ Oh , fuck this , ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate exclaims , taking [my]2342-matt hand . ‘ Give [me]2557-kate the tour . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate pulls [me]2342-matt back towards [the entrance hall]356-the entrance hall . ‘ A quick one , ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt agree , taking over the lead and guiding [her]2557-kate up [the massive staircase]2190-the massive staircase . ‘ [I]2557-kate ’ll show [you]2557-kate [the rooms [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] working on]3534-the rooms i ’m working on . ’ [We]2188-us reach the balcony landing and [Kate]2557-kate ’s gasps increase as [she]2557-kate takes in the opulent splendor of [The Manor]2356-the manor . ‘[2557-kate] This is some serious special . ’ [she]2557-kate mumbles , gazing around in awe . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt know . [He]2342-matt inherited the place from [[his]2342-matt uncle]2191-his uncle when [he]2342-matt was twenty one . ’ ‘[2192-twenty one] [Twenty one]2192-twenty one ? ’ ‘[2192-twenty one] Hmmm , ’ ‘[2192-twenty one] Wow ! ’ [Kate]2557-kate blurts . [I]2192-twenty one look behind [me]2192-twenty one , finding [her]2557-kate gawking at the huge stained glass window at the foot of [the second staircase]2190-the massive staircase . ‘[2192-twenty one] This way , ’ [I]2192-twenty one call behind [me]2192-twenty one , walking through the archway that leads to [the extension rooms]2350-the room , leaving [Kate]2557-kate to scuttle after [me]2192-twenty one . ‘[2192-twenty one] There are ten altogether . ’ [She]2557-kate follows [me]2192-twenty one into the middle of [the room]2350-the room , gazing around . [I]2192-twenty one ca n’t deny , they are mighty impressive , even as empty shells . Once completed , though , [they]3537-they ’ll be royal worthy . Will [I]2192-twenty one get through to completion ? After [our]3538-our little sorting of shit [I]2192-twenty one might not see [this place]2350-the room again . [I]2192-twenty one ca n’t say that would disappoint [me]2192-twenty one . [I]2192-twenty one do n’t like coming here . [I]2192-twenty one wander further into [the room]2350-the room and follow [Kate]2557-kate ’s gaze to the wall behind the door . What the hell ? ‘[2192-twenty one] What ’s that ? ’ [Kate]2557-kate asks the question that ’s batting around in [my]2342-matt own head . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know . It was n’t here before . ’ [I]2342-matt run [my]2342-matt eyes over the huge , wooden , crucifix style cross propped up against the wall . With giant , black , wrought iron screw eyes bolted to the corners , it looks imposing , but it ’s still a fine piece of art . ‘[2342-matt] It must be one of the big wall hangings [Jesse]327-jesse was talking about . ’ [I]327-jesse approach the piece , running [my]327-jesse hand over the highly polished wood . It ’s spectacular – if a little intimidating . ‘[327-jesse] Oh . Sorry , [ladies]458-ladies . ’ [We]3538-our both swing around , finding [a middle aged man in overalls holding a sander in one hand and a coffee in the other]3539-a middle aged man in overalls holding a sander in one hand and a coffee in the other . ‘[458-ladies] Looks good , huh ? ’ [He]327-jesse points up at the frame with [his]327-jesse sander as [he]327-jesse takes a slurp of [his]327-jesse coffee . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m just checking the size before [I]2342-matt make [the others]2888-the others . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]2342-matt made this ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask in disbelief . ‘ [I]327-jesse certainly did . ’[327-jesse] [He]327-jesse laughs , joining [me]2342-matt by the cross . ‘ It ’s stunning . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt muse . It ’ll fit in perfectly with the bed [I]2342-matt designed that [Jesse]327-jesse loved so much . ‘ Thank [you]2342-matt , [Miss.]252-miss. ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse says proudly . [I]2342-matt turn around and see [Kate]2557-kate observing the piece of art on a frown . ‘ [We]2196-we ’ll leave [you]2342-matt to it . ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt give [Kate]2557-kate the lets - be - going nod , and [she]2557-kate smiles at [the workman]2194-the workman before following [me]2342-matt out of [the room]308-the place . [We]2196-we walk back through to [the gallery landing]2393-the gallery landing . ‘ [I]2557-kate did n’t get it . ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate grumbles . ‘ It ’s art , [Kate]2557-kate . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt laugh . It ’s not pink and chintzy , so [I]2342-matt ’m not surprised [she]2557-kate does n’t like it . [Our]2196-we tastes are very different . ‘[2342-matt] What ’s up there ? ’ [I]2342-matt follow [her]2557-kate gaze up [the staircase]272-the stairs to [the third floor]1300-the third floor , stopping to look with [her]2557-kate . Those intimidating doors are slightly ajar . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do n’t know . [I]2342-matt think it might be [a function room]308-the place . ’ [Kate]2557-kate takes [the stairs]272-the stairs . ‘[2342-matt] Let ’s have a look . ’ ‘[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate ! ’ [I]2557-kate start after [her]2557-kate . [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] keen to find [Jesse]327-jesse . The longer [I]2342-matt delay speaking to [him]327-jesse , the longer [I]2342-matt have to convince [myself]2342-matt not to . ‘ [Kate]2557-kate , come on . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Just a peek . ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate says , pushing against the doors . ‘ Fuck ! ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate screeches . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , look at this . ’[2557-kate] Okay , [my]2342-matt curiosity has been well and truly teased . [I]2342-matt run the rest of the way up [the stairs]272-the stairs and into [the function room]308-the place , skidding to an abrupt halt next to [Kate]2557-kate . Fucking hell . ‘ Excuse [me]2199-us ! ’[2199-us] [We]2199-us both look in the direction of the foreign accented voice . [A dumpy lady]363-irene , holding cleaning cloths and anti - bacterial spray , comes wobbling towards [us]2199-us . ‘ No , no , no . [I]363-irene clean . [The communal room]308-the place is closed for cleaning . ’[363-irene] [She]363-irene shoos [us]2199-us back towards the door . ‘ Chill out , [Senorita]261-senorita , ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate laughs . ‘ [[Her]2557-kate boyfriend]398-her boyfriend owns [the place]308-the place . ’[363-irene] [The poor woman]363-irene recoils at [Kate]2557-kate ’s harshness , giving [me]2342-matt the once over before bowing . ‘ [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] so sorry . ’ [She]363-irene shoves [her]363-irene spray in [her]363-irene apron and clasps [my]327-jesse hands in [her]363-irene tanned wrinkled fingers . ‘[327-jesse] [Mr Ward]327-jesse , [he]327-jesse not say [you]327-jesse come . ’ [I]327-jesse fidget uncomfortably on the spot at [the woman]363-irene ’s panic , throwing [Kate]2557-kate a disgusted look , but [she]363-irene does n’t notice . [She]363-irene ’s too busy looking around at [the colossal room]3544-the colossal room [we]3545-we ’re[327-jesse] stood in . [I]2342-matt smile reassuringly at the Spanish cleaner , who ’s got [herself]2557-kate in a bit of a pickle over [my]2342-matt presence . ‘ It ’s fine , really . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt assure [her]2557-kate . [She]2557-kate bows again , moving off to the side , leaving [Kate]2557-kate and [me]2342-matt to try and comprehend [our]2201-our surroundings . [I]2342-matt gaze around , and the first thing that strikes [me]2342-matt is how beautiful [the room]2350-the room is . Just like [the rest of [the house]2350-the room]2203-the rest of the house , [this room]2350-the room has been lavished with beautiful materials and furniture . The space is huge , easily spanning half of [the entire buildings floor area]2204-the entire buildings floor area , and as [I]2342-matt look around , [I]2342-matt realise it backs onto its self , circling around [the stairwell]803-the stairwell . [We]2206-we ’ve entered the centre of [the room]2350-the room , so it ’s even bigger than [I]2342-matt originally thought . The ceiling is high and vaulted , with wooden beams stretching from end to end and over - elaborate , gold chandeliers hanging between them , offering a hazy glow of light . [The room]2350-the room is dominated by three arched , Georgian sash windows , dressed in crimson , with Austrian blinds edged in gold jute braid . Miles and miles of gold silk , piped in crimson braid , is softly gathered and held in place at the sides by simple gold ombres . The deep red walls provide a dramatic backdrop for elaborately dressed beds that are positioned around [the room]2350-the room . Beds ? ‘ [Ava]832-ava , something tells [me]2557-kate this is n’t [a function room]2350-the room . ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate whispers . [She]2557-kate starts to wander off to the right , while [I]2342-matt remain frozen in place , trying to grasp what [I]2342-matt ’m looking at . It ’s [an immense , super luxurious , communal bedroom – [The Communal Room]2350-the room]2350-the room . The walls are free from paintings , allowing space for various gold metal frames , hooks and hoists . [They]3546-they all look innocent enough , like extravagant wall hangings , but as [my]2342-matt mind starts to recover from its shocked state , the significance of [the room]2350-the room and its contents start to filter into [my]2342-matt brain . A million reasons try to distract [me]2342-matt from the conclusion [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] slowly drawing , but there is no other explanation for the devices and contraptions surrounding [me]2342-matt . The delayed reaction finally crashes down . ‘ Fucking hell , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt whisper to [myself]2342-matt . ‘ Watch [your]2342-matt mouth . ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt soft voice rolls over [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt fly around and find [him]2342-matt stood behind [me]2342-matt , watching quietly , [his]2342-matt hands in [his]2342-matt jean pockets , [his]2342-matt face completely expressionless . [My]2342-matt tongue is like lead in [my]2342-matt mouth as [I]2342-matt search [my]2342-matt brain for something to say . What can [I]2342-matt say ? [My]2342-matt head is invaded with a million memories of the last few weeks . All of the times [I]2342-matt ’ve brushed things off , ignored things or , more to the point , been distracted from things . Things [he]2342-matt ’s said , things [other people]2207-other people have said – things [I]2342-matt thought odd , but did n’t pursue because [I]2342-matt was distracted by [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt ’s been distracting [me]2342-matt this whole time . [He]2342-matt ’s been going out of [his]2342-matt way to keep all of this from [me]2342-matt . What else is [he]2342-matt keeping from [me]2342-matt ? [Kate]2557-kate appears in [my]2342-matt peripheral vision . [I]2342-matt do n’t have to look at [her]2557-kate to know [she]2557-kate ’s probably displaying a similar facial expression to [me]2342-matt , but [I]2342-matt ca n’t drag [my]2342-matt eyes away from [Jesse]327-jesse to be sure . [He]2342-matt flicks [his]2342-matt gaze in [Kate]2557-kate ’s direction , smiling at [her]2557-kate nervously . [Sam]1914-sam barges into [the room]308-the place . ‘ Oh , fucking hell ! [I]2342-matt thought [I]2342-matt told [you]72-jesus to stay put ! ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt shouts , fixing [Kate]2557-kate with a furious glare . ‘ Damn [you]72-jesus , [woman]72-jesus ! ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2557-kate think [we]3548-we need to go . ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate says quietly , walking towards [Sam]1914-sam and taking [his]2342-matt hand to lead [him]2342-matt out of [the room]308-the place . ‘ Thank [you]72-jesus . ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse nods at [them]2209-them before returning [his]327-jesse eyes to [me]2342-matt . [His]327-jesse shoulders are slightly raised , signaling [his]327-jesse tenseness . [He]327-jesse looks really worried . [He]327-jesse should be . [I]2342-matt hear the hushed , angry whispers of [Kate]2557-kate and [Sam]1914-sam as [they]2209-them take [the stairs]272-the stairs , leaving [us]2211-us alone in [the communal room]308-the place . [The communal room]308-the place . It all makes sense now . That crucifix [downstairs]2323-downstairs is no wall art . The strange grid - like contraption in [the suite]308-the place was no antique . [The women sauntering around [the place]308-the place like [they]2213-the women sauntering around the place like they live here live here]2213-the women sauntering around the place like they live here are not [business women]2214-business women . Well , [they]2213-the women sauntering around the place like they live here might be , but not while [they]2213-the women sauntering around the place like they live here ’re here . Oh God , help [me]832-ava . [I]832-ava watch as [Jesse]327-jesse teeth start a good work out on [his]327-jesse bottom lip . [My]832-ava strained heartbeats are quickening by the second . This certainly explains the thoughtful moments [he]327-jesse ’s been drifting in and out of over the last few days . [He]327-jesse must have known [I]832-ava would find out ? Was [he]327-jesse ever going to tell [me]832-ava ? [He]327-jesse drops [his]327-jesse eyes to the floor . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , why did n’t [you]832-ava wait at [home]281-home for [me]2342-matt ? ’ [My]832-ava shock starts to simmer into anger as everything starts clicking into place . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] so dense ! ‘ [You]832-ava wanted [me]2342-matt to come . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt remind [him]2342-matt . ‘ Not like this . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt sent [you]832-ava a text . [I]2342-matt told [you]832-ava [I]2342-matt was on [my]2342-matt way . ’[2342-matt] [He]2342-matt frowns . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt have n’t received a text from [you]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Where ’s [your]832-ava phone ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ It ’s in [[my]2342-matt office]1011-my office , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt go to retrieve [my]2342-matt mobile , but then [his]2342-matt words from this morning seep back in to [my]2342-matt brain . ‘ Is this what [you]832-ava wanted to talk about ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . [He]2342-matt did n’t want to talk about [us]2216-us at all . [He]2342-matt wanted to talk about all this shit . [He]2342-matt lifts [his]2342-matt eyes back up to [mine]2342-matt , and there ’s no mistaking the regret in [them]2217-them . ‘ It was time [you]832-ava knew . ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt eyes widen . ‘ No , it was time for [me]2342-matt to know a long time ago , [Jesse]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt do a full three sixty turn , refreshing [my]2342-matt eyes of where [I]2342-matt am . It ’s still all there , loud and proud – [I]2342-matt ’m not dreaming . ‘[2342-matt] Fuck ! ’ ‘[2342-matt] Watch [your]2342-matt mouth , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [he]2342-matt scorns [me]832-ava gently . [I]832-ava swing back around to face [him]2342-matt in shock . ‘[832-ava] Do n’t [you]2342-matt dare ! ’ [I]2342-matt cry , slapping the heel of [my]2342-matt hand against [my]2342-matt forehead . ‘[2342-matt] Fuck , fuck , fuck ! ’ ‘[2342-matt] Watch ... ’ ‘[2342-matt] Do n’t ! ’ [I]327-jesse pin [him]2342-matt with a fierce glare . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , do n’t [you]2342-matt dare tell [me]2342-matt to watch [my]2342-matt mouth ! ’ [I]327-jesse gesture around [the room]2350-the room . ‘[327-jesse] Look ! ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt see it , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [His]2383-god voice is soft and placating , but it ’s not going to calm [me]832-ava down . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] too stunned . ‘ Why did n’t [you]2383-god tell [me]2383-god ? ’[2383-god] Oh [[my]2342-matt God]2383-god , [he]2383-god ’s [a glorified pimp]2219-a glorified pimp . ‘ [I]2383-god thought [you]2383-god would have grasped The Manors operations on [our]3551-our first meeting , [Ava]832-ava . When it became obvious that [you]2383-god had n’t , it just got harder and harder to tell [you]2383-god . ’[2383-god] [My]2342-matt head hurts . This is like a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle , each piece clicking into place , all so very slowly . [I]2342-matt told [him]2383-god [he]2383-god had [a lovely hotel]2398-a lovely hotel . Oh , [he]2383-god must think [I]2342-matt ’m something else . [He]2383-god dropped enough hints with [his]2383-god specification and requirements , but because [I]2342-matt was so distracted by [him]2383-god , [I]2342-matt missed [them]3552-them all . [He]2383-god owns a sex club ? This is fucking awful . And the sex ? Oh God , the bloody sex . [He]2383-god really is sexpert extraordinaire , and it ’s not because of previous relationships . [He]2383-god said [himself]2383-god that [he]2383-god did n’t have time for relationships . Now [I]2342-matt know why . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m going to leave now , and [you]2342-matt ’re[2383-god] going to let [me]2342-matt go . ’ [I]2342-matt say it with all the determination [I]2342-matt feel . [I]2342-matt really have been a play toy to [him]2383-god . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] way past dense – [I]2342-matt ’m completely brainless . [He]2383-god ’s still frantically chewing [his]2383-god lip as [I]832-ava side step [him]2383-god , taking [the stairs]272-the stairs in a complete daze . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , wait . ’ [he]2383-god pleads , following [me]832-ava . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] swiftly reminded of the last time [I]2342-matt was fleeing here . [I]2342-matt should have kept running . [I]2342-matt block out [his]2342-matt voice , concentrating on getting [myself]2342-matt to [the entrance hall]356-the entrance hall without breaking [my]2342-matt leg in a fall . [I]2342-matt pass [the second floor bedrooms]2222-the second floor bedrooms and mentally slap [myself]2342-matt again . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [baby]832-ava , please . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt reach the bottom of [the stairs]272-the stairs and fly around to face [him]2342-matt . ‘ Do n’t even think about it ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout at [him]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt recoils in shock . ‘ [You]832-ava ’ll let [me]2342-matt leave . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [You]832-ava ’ve not even given [me]2342-matt the chance to explain , ’[2342-matt] [His]2342-matt eyes are all wide and full of fear . It ’s not an expression [I]2342-matt ’m use to from [Jesse]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] Please , let [me]2342-matt explain . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Explain what ? [I]2342-matt ’ve seen everything [I]2342-matt need to see . ’ [I]2342-matt shout . ‘[2342-matt] No explanation required ! It all speaks loud and clear for itself . ’ [He]2342-matt steps towards [me]2224-me with [his]2342-matt hands out . ‘[2224-me] [You]2224-me were n’t supposed to find out like this . ’ [I]2224-me ’m[2224-me] suddenly aware of [an audience]2225-an audience watching [our]2226-our little altercation . [Sam]1914-sam , [Drew]327-jesse and [Kate]2557-kate are all standing at [the bar entrance]2227-the bar entrance looking uncomfortable … pitiful , even . [John]832-ava looks grave as [he]832-ava assesses [Jesse]327-jesse , and [Sarah]54-victoria looks as smug as can be . [I]2342-matt know now that [she]54-victoria must have picked up [my]2342-matt message on [Jesse]327-jesse ’s phone . [She]54-victoria opened the gates and [she]54-victoria opened the door . [She]54-victoria ’s got [her]54-victoria way . [She]54-victoria can have [him]832-ava . [I]2342-matt do n’t recognise the snide , cocky looking man stood next to [her]54-victoria , but [he]832-ava ’s looking at [me]2342-matt with an unfriendly glare . [I]2342-matt watch [him]832-ava turn [his]832-ava eyes on [Jesse]327-jesse with a sneer . ‘ What a fuck up [you]832-ava really are . ’[832-ava] [he]832-ava spits at [Jesse]327-jesse ’s back , [his]832-ava tone full of hatred . Who the hell is [he]832-ava ? [I]2342-matt watch as [John]832-ava grabs [him]832-ava by the scruff of the neck , shaking [him]832-ava a little . ‘ [You]832-ava ’re[2228-a member] no longer [a member]2228-a member , [mother fucker]2229-mother fucker . [I]2342-matt ’ll be escorting [you]2230-you from [the grounds]1705-the grounds . ’ [The cocky creature]3554-the cocky creature laughs a cold sinister laugh . ‘[2232-my guest] Be [[my]2342-matt guest]2232-my guest . Looks like [your]2230-you tart has seen the light , [Ward]327-jesse . ’ [he]2232-my guest hisses . [Jesse]327-jesse ’s eyes turn black in a nanosecond . ‘[327-jesse] Shut the fuck up . ’ [John]832-ava growls . ‘[327-jesse] Revoked membership , ’ [I]2232-my guest whisper . ‘[2232-my guest] [He]2232-my guest got too excited . ’ [He]2232-my guest directs [his]2232-my guest cold eyes back at [me]2232-my guest . ‘[2232-my guest] [He]2232-my guest takes what [he]2232-my guest wants and leaves a trail of shit behind [him]2232-my guest , ’ [he]2232-my guest snarls , [his]2232-my guest words punching all the air from [my]2232-my guest lungs . [I]2232-my guest notice [Jesse]327-jesse stiffen from head to toe . ‘[2232-my guest] [He]2232-my guest fucks [them]2233-them all and fucks [them]2233-them off . ’ Turning [my]2232-my guest gaze back on [Jesse]327-jesse , [I]2232-my guest find [his]2232-my guest eyes are still black , [his]2232-my guest frown line a burden on [his]2232-my guest forehead . ‘[2232-my guest] Why ? ’ [I]2232-my guest ask . [I]2232-my guest do n’t know why [I]2232-my guest ’m[2232-my guest] asking this . It ’s not going to make a jot of difference . But [I]2342-matt feel [I]2342-matt deserve some sort of explanation . [He]2232-my guest fucks [them]2233-them all – once – and fucks [them]2233-them off . ‘ Do n’t listen to [him]2232-my guest , [Ava]832-ava . ’[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse steps forward . [I]2342-matt can see [his]327-jesse jaw is tense to snapping point . ‘ Ask [him]327-jesse how [[my]327-jesse wife]3555-my wife is . ’[327-jesse] The nasty piece of work spits . ‘ [He]327-jesse did the same to [her]3555-my wife as [he]327-jesse did to all the others . [Husbands]3556-husbands and conscience do n’t get in [his]327-jesse way . ’[327-jesse] And that ’s all it takes to tip [Jesse]327-jesse over the edge . [He]327-jesse turns and flies at [the man]2342-matt like a bullet , taking [him]2342-matt clean from [John]832-ava ’s grasp and to the parquet floor on a loud crash . [Sam]1914-sam yanks [Kate]2557-kate back and there are a few gasps , as [everyone]282-everyone watches [Jesse]327-jesse kick ten tons of shit out of [the man]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt ’m not compelled to scream at [him]2342-matt to stop , even though [he]2342-matt looks like [he]2342-matt could possibly kill [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt walk out of [The Manor]2356-the manor and get into [[my]2342-matt car]2336-my car . [Kate]2557-kate flies down the steps , racing towards [me]2342-matt . [She]2557-kate jumps in but does n’t say a word . When [we]3559-we reach the gates , [they]3559-we open without [me]2342-matt stopping . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] surprised – [I]2342-matt was preparing to ram them down . ‘ [Sam]1914-sam , ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate says when [I]2342-matt look at [her]2557-kate . ‘ [He]1914-sam said [we]3559-we ’re[2557-kate] better off out of here . ’ [I]2557-kate had n’t considered , until now , that all of this is news to [Kate]2557-kate as well . [She]2557-kate seems ever the laid back , take it in [her]2557-kate stride , [Kate]2557-kate . [I]2557-kate , however , feel like [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] freefalling into Hell . Chapter 37 [I]2342-matt walk through [Kate]2557-kate ’s front door and straight [upstairs]2469-upstairs to the flat like a zombie . [Bless Kate]2557-kate . [She]2557-kate makes no attempt to try and extract more information from [me]2342-matt . Instead , [she]2557-kate lets [me]2342-matt fall onto the sofa in a tear stained heap and brings [me]2342-matt a cup of tea . [My]2342-matt eyes widen when the front door slams . [Kate]2557-kate runs out to the banister . ‘ It ’s just [Sam]1914-sam . ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate reassures [me]2342-matt as [she]2557-kate comes back into [the lounge]614-the lounge . ‘ [He]1914-sam has a key ? ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt ask . [Kate]2557-kate shrugs it off , but this small snippet of news has [me]2342-matt smiling to [myself]2342-matt . Will [she]2557-kate take it back in light of this new found knowledge ? [My]2342-matt phone rings again and [I]2342-matt reject the call … again . [Sam]1914-sam steams into [the lounge]614-the lounge , looking as nervous as [he]1914-sam did at [The Manor]2356-the manor . [We]2239-we both look up at [him]1914-sam as [he]1914-sam does a little tennis spectator impression , flicking [his]1914-sam eyes from [me]2342-matt to [Kate]2557-kate and back again a few times . Stalking over to [Kate]2557-kate , [he]1914-sam all but hauls [her]2557-kate out of [the lounge]614-the lounge by [her]2557-kate elbow . ‘ [We]3560-we need to talk . ’[1914-sam] [he]1914-sam says urgently . [I]2342-matt crane [my]2342-matt neck around , watching as [he]1914-sam practically throws [her]2557-kate into [[her]2557-kate bedroom]614-the lounge , slamming the door behind [him]1914-sam . [I]2342-matt lie on the sofa , [my]2342-matt tea resting on [my]2342-matt stomach , and close [my]2342-matt eyes . [They]2241-they do n’t stay shut for long . Mental images of [Jesse]327-jesse are imprinted on [my]2342-matt brain , and with [my]2342-matt eyes closed , there ’s no other visual distraction , so they are all the more clearer . [I]2342-matt ’m never going to be able to sleep again . [My]2342-matt phone starts again . Reaching down , [I]2342-matt stab the reject button , staring up at the swirly artex ceiling of [the lounge]614-the lounge . [I]2342-matt ’ve never felt pain like this before . It ’s excruciating and way beyond fixable . [He]1914-sam owns [a fucking sex club]3561-a fucking sex club ? Why ? Why could n’t [he]1914-sam be [a banker]3562-a banker or [a financial advisor]3563-a financial advisor ? Or … [a hotel owner]3564-a hotel owner … [I]2342-matt knew there was something wrong , something dangerous . Why did n’t [I]2342-matt take a few moments to try and gather [my]2342-matt senses ? [I]2342-matt know exactly why – because [I]2342-matt was n’t allowed to , [I]2342-matt was n’t given a chance to . [I]2342-matt sit up when [I]2342-matt hear [Kate]2557-kate ’s high shrill travel across the landing , followed by [Sam]1914-sam ’s placating tones trying to calm [her]2557-kate down . [She]2557-kate flies out of [[her]2557-kate room]3565-her room with [Sam]1914-sam in tow . [He]1914-sam ’s struggling to pull [her]2557-kate back . ‘[2342-matt] Get [your]2242-your fucking hands off [me]2342-matt , [Samuel]1914-sam . [She]2243-she needs to know . ’ ‘[2557-kate] Wait a minute … [Kate]2557-kate … arhhhhhh ! What the fuck did [you]2242-your do that for ? ’ [Kate]2557-kate retrieves [her]2557-kate knee from [Sam]1914-sam ’s groin , leaving [him]1914-sam in a folded , groaning mess on the landing , before barging into [the lounge]614-the lounge and punching [me]2557-kate with [her]2557-kate blue stare . ‘[2557-kate] What ? ’ [I]2557-kate ask , apprehensively . What do [I]2557-kate need to know now ? [She]2557-kate throws [Sam]1914-sam a filthy look when [he]1914-sam appears at the lounge door grasping [his]1914-sam groin . [I]2557-kate ’m[2557-kate] left wondering why [Sam]1914-sam ’s looking so apologetic when it ’s [Kate]2557-kate that ’s just kneed [him]1914-sam in the balls . [She]2243-she points at the chair aggressively , silently demanding [him]1914-sam to sit . [He]1914-sam limps over , lowering [himself]1914-sam on a painful hiss . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [he]1914-sam ’s on [his]1914-sam way over . ’[2243-she] [she]2243-she tells [me]2342-matt calmly . [I]2342-matt do n’t know why [she]2243-she chooses this tone . It ’s not going to calm [me]2342-matt – not at all . [I]2342-matt gasp , looking at [Sam]1914-sam sat in the chair , refusing to meet [my]2342-matt eyes . [He]1914-sam was n’t going to tell [me]2342-matt ? [I]2342-matt was stupid to think [Jesse]327-jesse would make this easy . ‘ [I]2342-matt need to leave , ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt wail as [my]2342-matt damn phone starts again . ‘ Fuck off ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shout at the stupid thing . ‘ Take [her]2557-kate . ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate swings around to [Sam]1914-sam . ‘ [She]2557-kate ’s in no state to drive . ’[2557-kate] ‘ Oh no , not [me]1914-sam , ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam holds [his]1914-sam hands up , shaking [his]1914-sam head . ‘ It ’s more than [my]1914-sam life ’s worth . Anyway , [I]1914-sam need to talk to [you]1914-sam . ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam jerks [his]1914-sam head towards [Kate]2557-kate . [We]2244-we all jump at the sound of an almighty crash at the door , [my]2342-matt heart promptly leaping into [my]2342-matt throat as [I]2342-matt look at [Kate]2557-kate . [Sam]1914-sam groans , and it ’s not because of the pain [Kate]2557-kate ’s inflicted on [him]1914-sam . ‘ [You]2557-kate dirty little turncoat . ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate mutters angrily , piercing [Sam]1914-sam with [her]2557-kate sharp , blue eyes . ‘ Hey , [I]1914-sam did n’t say a fucking word ! ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam ’s on the major defensive . ‘ It would n’t take [a fucking rocket scientist]3567-a fucking rocket scientist to work out where [she]2557-kate is . ’[1914-sam] ‘ Do n’t answer it , [Kate]2557-kate . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt plead . A combination of more bangs play out on the front door . [God]2383-god , [I]2342-matt do n’t want to see [him]1914-sam . [My]2342-matt defences are not strong enough right now . [I]2342-matt jump at a succession of more bangs , followed by a chorus of car horns that sound off all around . ‘ For fucks sake , ’[2342-matt] [Kate]2557-kate yells , running across [the room]2350-the room to look out of the window . ‘ Shit . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate pulls the blind up , getting up close and personal with the glass . ‘ What ? ’[2557-kate] [I]2342-matt join [her]2557-kate at the window . [I]2342-matt know it ’s [him]1914-sam , but what ’s with the racket ? ‘ Look ! ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate yells , pointing down below . [I]2342-matt force [my]2342-matt eyes to follow [her]2557-kate hand and see [[Jesse]327-jesse ’s car]3284-jesse ’s car abandoned in [the middle of [the street]945-the street]2247-the middle of the street , [[his]327-jesse driver]1590-his driver ’s door wide open and a line of traffic starting to build up behind it . [He]327-jesse ’s not left [enough room for [cars]2251-cars]2250-enough room for cars to pass , causing tempers to flare and car horns to honk . It ’s all clearly audible from up here . ‘ [Ava]832-ava ! ’[1914-sam] [I]2342-matt hear [him]1914-sam bellow . [He]1914-sam proceeds to thump the door a few more times . ‘ Oh , fucking hell , [Ava]832-ava , ’[2557-kate] [Kate]2557-kate carps . ‘ [That man]465-that man ’s a walking , talking detonate button and [you]832-ava ’ve just pressed it ! ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate starts stalking out of [the lounge]614-the lounge . [I]2342-matt rush after [her]2557-kate . ‘ [I]2342-matt pressed nothing , [Kate]2557-kate . Do n’t answer the door ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt lean over the banister , watching [Kate]2557-kate fly down [the stairs]272-the stairs to the front door . ‘ [I]2557-kate ca n’t just leave [him]1914-sam out there causing anarchy on [the street]945-the street . ’[2557-kate] [She]2557-kate carries on [her]2557-kate way . [I]2342-matt panic and run back into [the lounge]614-the lounge , passing [Sam]1914-sam , who ’s still sat in the chair rubbing [his]1914-sam sore spot , mumbling inaudible words . ‘ Why did n’t [you]832-ava tell [Kate]2557-kate ? ’[1914-sam] [I]2342-matt ask [him]1914-sam sharply on [my]2342-matt way back to the window . ‘ [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] sorry , [Ava]832-ava . ’ ‘[832-ava] [You]832-ava need to be apologising to [Kate]2557-kate , not [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]832-ava turn back , finding no trace of the fun loving , cheeky chap that [I]832-ava ’ve become so fond of . Instead , there ’s [a tense , uneasy , timid man]3570-a tense , uneasy , timid man . ‘[832-ava] [I]2342-matt have apologised . And [I]2342-matt could n’t very well tell [her]2557-kate until [Jesse]327-jesse told [you]832-ava . [You]832-ava should know , this has been eating away at [him]1914-sam since [he]1914-sam met [you]832-ava . ’ [I]2557-kate laugh at [Sam]1914-sam ’s attempt to defend [[his]1914-sam friend]1914-sam and look out of the window again . [Jesse]327-jesse is still pacing outside , clearly desperate , smashing the buttons of [his]327-jesse mobile . [I]2557-kate know who [he]327-jesse ’s calling . And , like [I]2557-kate knew it would , [my]2557-kate phone starts shouting in [my]2557-kate hand . Should [I]2557-kate answer it and tell [him]1914-sam to go away ? [I]2557-kate stare down onto [the street]945-the street , panic flooding [me]2557-kate when [a driver from one of [the held up cars]3573-the held up cars]3572-a driver from one of the held up cars gets out . Oh God , do n’t challenge [him]1914-sam ! [Kate]2557-kate walks out , waving [her]2557-kate arms at [Jesse]327-jesse . [He]3572-a driver from one of the held up cars ignores [the driver that ’s]3572-a driver from one of the held up cars approached , turning to [Kate]2557-kate instead . [His]3572-a driver from one of the held up cars hand gestures are urgent . What ’s [he]3572-a driver from one of the held up cars saying ? What ’s [Kate]2557-kate saying ? After a few minutes , [Jesse]327-jesse gets in [[his]327-jesse car]2336-my car . Relief washes over [my]2557-kate entire being , but [he]327-jesse only moves it slightly so it ’s parked in a more considerate fashion , allowing [the other motorists]3575-the other motorists to pass . ‘[2557-kate] Oh God , [Kate]2557-kate ! What have [you]2557-kate done ? ’ [I]2557-kate yell at the window . ‘[2557-kate] What ’s going on ? ’ [Sam]1914-sam asks from [his]1914-sam chair . [I]2557-kate do n’t answer [him]1914-sam . [I]2557-kate stand , unable to move , watching as [Jesse]327-jesse leans up against [[my]2557-kate car]2336-my car , [his]327-jesse head dropped in defeat , [his]327-jesse arms hanging by [his]327-jesse sides . [Kate]2557-kate ’s arms are wrapped around [herself]2557-kate as [she]2557-kate stands in front of [him]1914-sam . [He]1914-sam looks up at [her]2557-kate , and even from here [I]2557-kate can see the anguish riddling [his]1914-sam face . [She]2557-kate reaches over to [him]1914-sam , rubbing [her]2557-kate palm up and down [his]1914-sam arm . It ’s a gesture of comfort . It ’s killing [me]2557-kate . After an eternity of watching [them]3576-them on [the street]945-the street , [Kate]2557-kate finally turns , making [her]2557-kate way back to [the flat]420-the flat , but to [my]2557-kate utter horror , [Jesse]327-jesse starts to follow , and [Kate]2557-kate makes no attempt to stop [him]327-jesse . ‘[2557-kate] Shit , no ! ’ [I]2557-kate exclaim , throwing [my]2557-kate hands to [my]2557-kate head in dread . What ’s [she]2557-kate thinking ? ‘[2557-kate] What ? ’ [Sam]1914-sam shouts anxiously . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava , what ? ’ [I]832-ava quickly consider [my]832-ava options . It does n’t take long because there are none , except to stand here and await the confrontation . There is only one way in and one way out of [this flat]420-the flat . And with [Jesse]327-jesse on [his]327-jesse way in , any plans to escape the inevitable altercation are totally floored . [Kate]2557-kate walks into [the lounge]614-the lounge , looking rather sheepish . [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] furious with [her]832-ava , and [she]832-ava knows it . [I]2342-matt pin [her]832-ava with [my]2342-matt most filthy stare as [she]832-ava smiles at [me]2342-matt nervously . ‘ Just hear [him]1914-sam out , [Ava]832-ava . [The man]1914-sam ’s a mess . ’[832-ava] [She]832-ava shakes [her]832-ava head sorrowfully , then looks at [Sam]1914-sam , [her]832-ava expression changing instantly . ‘ [You]1914-sam , get in [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen ! ’[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam scowls . ‘ [I]1914-sam ca n’t fucking move , [you]1914-sam evil cow ! ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam rubs [himself]1914-sam again , rolling [his]1914-sam head back on the chair . [Kate]2557-kate huffs and pulls [him]1914-sam out of the chair . [He]1914-sam groans , closing [his]1914-sam eyes and gingerly limping from [the room]2350-the room . [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [her]832-ava . The treacherous cow ! [She]832-ava backs out of [the room]2350-the room , giving [me]2342-matt eyes full of sympathy . [She]832-ava would n’t have to act so fucking sorry if [she]832-ava had n’t of let [him]1914-sam in – [the stupid , stupid woman]832-ava . [I]2342-matt turn to face the window before [he]1914-sam walks in . [I]2342-matt ca n’t look at [him]1914-sam . [I]2342-matt ’ll dissolve into tears if [I]2342-matt do , and [I]2342-matt do n’t want [him]1914-sam to have any excuse to comfort [me]2342-matt or wrap [his]1914-sam big warm arms around [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt brace [myself]2342-matt for [his]1914-sam voice to wash over [me]2342-matt , every frazzled nerve ending buzzing and every muscle tense . [I]2342-matt hear nothing . But as every hair on the back of [my]2342-matt neck tingles , standing upright , [I]2342-matt know [he]1914-sam ’s near . [My]2342-matt body ’s response to [his]1914-sam potent presence has [me]2342-matt closing [my]2342-matt eyes , taking a deep breath and praying for strength . ‘ Please , look at [me]1914-sam , [Ava]832-ava . ’[1914-sam] [His]1914-sam voice is quivering , full of emotion . [I]2342-matt swallow the tennis ball sized lump in [my]2342-matt throat , fighting back a barrage of tears that are pooling in [my]2342-matt eyes . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , please . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt feel [his]1914-sam hand brush down the back of [my]2342-matt arm . [I]2342-matt flinch at the contact . ‘ Please , do n’t touch [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt find the courage [I]2342-matt need to turn round and face [him]1914-sam . [His]1914-sam head is dropped , [his]1914-sam shoulders sagged . [He]1914-sam looks pitiful , but [I]2342-matt must n’t be swayed by [his]1914-sam sorrowful state . [I]2342-matt ’ve been influenced too many times by manipulation , and this ... this is just another form of manipulation … [Jesse]327-jesse style . [I]2342-matt ’ve been so blinded with lust , [I]2342-matt have n’t been seeing straight . [His]1914-sam glazed eyes pull [themselves]2255-themselves from the floor to meet [mine]2342-matt . ‘ Why did [you]2342-matt even take [me]2342-matt there ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ask . ‘ Because [I]2342-matt want [you]2342-matt with [me]2342-matt all of the time , [I]2342-matt ca n’t be away from [you]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Well , [you]2342-matt ’d better get use to it because [I]2342-matt do n’t want to see [you]2342-matt again . ’[2342-matt] [My]2342-matt voice is calm and controlled , but the pain that slices through [my]2342-matt heart in response to [my]2342-matt own words is enough to floor [me]2342-matt on the spot . [His]1914-sam eyes swim , searching [mine]2342-matt . ‘ [You]2342-matt do n’t mean that . [I]1914-sam know [you]2342-matt do n’t mean that . ’[1914-sam] ‘ [I]1914-sam mean it . ’[1914-sam] [His]1914-sam chest is expanding on each deep inhale , [his]1914-sam hair in disarray and [his]1914-sam frown line a crater across [his]1914-sam forehead . The distress splashed across [his]1914-sam face is like an ice spear through [my]2342-matt heart . ‘ [I]1914-sam never meant to hurt [you]2342-matt . ’[1914-sam] [he]1914-sam murmurs . ‘ Well , [you]2342-matt have . [You]2342-matt ’ve trampled into [my]1914-sam life and trampled all over [my]1914-sam heart . [I]1914-sam tried to walk away . [I]1914-sam knew there was more than meets the eye . Why did n’t [you]2342-matt let [me]1914-sam walk away ? ’[1914-sam] [My]2342-matt voice starts to trail off as the gravel in [my]2342-matt throat starts to win the battle and tears start to pinch at [my]2342-matt eyes . Damn [me]2342-matt , [I]2342-matt should have listened to [my]2342-matt instincts . [He]1914-sam starts chewing [his]1914-sam bottom lip . ‘ [You]2342-matt never really wanted to walk away . ’[1914-sam] [His]1914-sam voice is barely audible . ‘ Yes , [I]2342-matt did ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt blurt on a sniffle . ‘ [I]1914-sam fought [you]2342-matt off . [I]1914-sam knew [I]1914-sam was heading for trouble , but [you]2342-matt were relentless . What happened ? Did [you]2342-matt run out of [married women]3581-married women to fuck ? ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam shakes [his]1914-sam head . ‘ No , [I]1914-sam found [you]2342-matt . ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam steps forward , and [I]2342-matt remove [myself]2342-matt from [his]1914-sam reach . ‘ Get out . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say calmly , [my]2342-matt body shaking , [my]2342-matt breathing hitching – all evidence that [I]2342-matt ’m far from calm . [I]2342-matt barge past [him]1914-sam , knocking [his]1914-sam shoulder . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ca n’t . [I]2342-matt need [you]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . ’ [His]1914-sam pleading voice is going to haunt [me]832-ava for the rest of [my]832-ava days . [I]832-ava swing around violently . ‘[832-ava] [You]2342-matt do n’t need [me]2342-matt ! ’ [I]832-ava fight to keep [my]832-ava voice solid . ‘[832-ava] [You]2342-matt want [me]2342-matt . Oh God , [you]2342-matt are [a dominant]2256-a dominant , are n’t [you]2342-matt ? ’ Flashes of all [our]3582-our sexual encounters pass through [my]2342-matt mind at a hundred miles an hour . [He]1914-sam ’s truly fierce in [the bedroom]535-the bedroom and pretty fierce outside it too . ‘[2342-matt] No ! ’ ‘[2342-matt] Why the control issue then ? And the dominance and commands ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] The sex is just sex . [I]2342-matt ca n’t get close enough to [you]2342-matt . The control is because [I]2342-matt ’m frightened to death that something will happen to [you]2342-matt … that [you]2342-matt ’ll be taken away from [me]2257-he . [I]2257-he ’ve waited too long for [you]2342-matt , [Ava]832-ava . [I]2257-he ’ll do anything to keep [you]2342-matt safe . [I]2257-he ’ve lived a life with little control or care . Believe [me]2257-he , [I]2257-he need [you]2342-matt … please ... please do n’t leave [me]2257-he , ’[2257-he] [He]2257-he walks towards [me]2342-matt , but [I]2342-matt step back , fighting the instinct to let [him]2257-he swathe [me]2342-matt . [He]2257-he stops . ‘ [I]2257-he ’ll never recover . ’[2257-he] What ? No ! [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]2257-he ’s being so cruel as to use emotional blackmail . ‘ Do [you]2342-matt think this is going to be any easier for [me]2342-matt ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt scream , the tears starting to flow rapidly . The little colour that was left in [his]2257-he face drains out before [my]2342-matt eyes . [He]2257-he drops [his]2257-he head . [He]2257-he has no come back to that . What can [he]2257-he say ? [He]2257-he knows what [he]2257-he ’s done to [me]2342-matt . [He]2257-he ’s made [me]2342-matt need [him]2257-he . ‘ If [I]2257-he could change how [I]2257-he ’ve handled things , [I]2257-he would . ’[2257-he] [he]2257-he whispers . ‘ But [you]2257-he ca n’t . The damage is done . ’[2257-he] [My]2342-matt tone oozes contempt . [He]2257-he looks up at [me]2342-matt . ‘ The damage will be worse if [you]2257-he leave [me]2257-he . ’[2257-he] Oh God . ‘ Get out ! ’[2257-he] ‘ No , ’[2257-he] [He]2257-he shakes [his]2257-he head frantically , taking a step towards [me]2342-matt . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , please , [I]2257-he ’m[2257-he] begging [you]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt move away from [him]2257-he , mustering up [my]2342-matt most determined expression , swallowing constantly to keep the lump in [my]2342-matt throat at bay . This is so incredibly painful . This is exactly why [I]2342-matt could n’t see [him]2257-he . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] so angry with [him]2257-he , but seeing [him]2257-he so whitewashed is heart - breaking . [I]2342-matt have to keep reminding [myself]2342-matt that [he]2257-he ’s let [me]2342-matt down in the cruellest way . [He]2257-he ’s misled [me]2342-matt , deceived [me]2342-matt and , essentially , bullied [me]2342-matt into bed with [him]2257-he . [You]2342-matt let [me]2342-matt fall in love with [you]2342-matt ! [He]2257-he stares at [me]2342-matt , the pain in [his]2257-he sludgy eyes immeasurable . [I]2342-matt ’ll cave if [I]2342-matt do n’t look away – so [I]2342-matt do . [I]2342-matt drop [my]2342-matt gaze to the floor and silently beg [him]2257-he to leave before [I]2342-matt fall apart and welcome the comfort [he]2257-he always gives [me]2342-matt . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , look at [me]2342-matt . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt take a deep breath , turning [my]2342-matt eyes to [his]2257-he . ‘ Goodbye , [Jesse]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Please . ’[2257-he] [he]2257-he mouths . ‘ [I]2257-he said , goodbye . ’[2257-he] The words carry an air of finality that [I]2342-matt really do not mean . [He]2257-he searches [my]2342-matt face for such a long time , but eventually , [he]2257-he abandons trying to find any scrap of hope in [my]2342-matt eyes , [he]2257-he turns , and [he]2257-he silently leaves . [I]2342-matt provide [my]2342-matt lungs with the desperate rush of breath [they]2258-they need , walking on [my]2342-matt unstable legs to the window . The front door slams , vibrating through [the house]308-the place , and [Jesse]327-jesse appears , dragging [himself]327-jesse to [[his]327-jesse semi - abandoned car]2476-his car . [I]2342-matt flinch , letting out a sob as [he]327-jesse smashes [his]327-jesse fist through the window of [[his]327-jesse car]2476-his car , sending shards of glass spraying all over [the road]2482-the road . [He]327-jesse throws [himself]327-jesse in and repeatedly punches the steering wheel . After what seems like years of watching [him]327-jesse pound on [[his]327-jesse car]2476-his car , [he]327-jesse roars off , tyres screeching , car horns blaring . * * * [I]2342-matt get out of the shower and dry [my]2342-matt hair before resuming fetal position on [my]2342-matt bed . [I]2342-matt ’m completely numb . [I]2342-matt feel like [my]2342-matt heart has been ripped out , trampled on and shoved back into [my]2342-matt chest a battered mess . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] somewhere between grief and devastation , and it ’s the most painful thing [I]2342-matt ’ve ever experienced . [My]2342-matt life has fallen apart . [I]2342-matt feel empty , betrayed , lonely and lost . The only person that can make any of this better is the person that ’s made it all happen . [I]2342-matt do n’t feel like [I]2342-matt ’m ever going to recover from this . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava ? ’ [I]832-ava lift [my]832-ava pounding head from [my]832-ava pillow , finding [Kate]2557-kate stood in [my]832-ava doorway . The sympathy on [her]2557-kate face enflames the hurt a little bit more . [She]2557-kate perches on the edge of the bed , stroking [my]832-ava cheek . ‘[832-ava] It does n’t have to be like this . ’ [she]2557-kate says softly . How so ? How can it be any other way ? [I]832-ava just have to ride out this pain and see if [I]832-ava have the strength to deal with any of it . Start all over again . But at the moment , [I]832-ava ’m[832-ava] content just lying here feeling sorry for [myself]2342-matt . ‘ Yes , it does . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt reply on a whisper . ‘ No , it does n’t . ’[832-ava] [She]832-ava ’s firmer this time . ‘ [You]832-ava still love [him]2342-matt . Admit [you]832-ava still love [him]2342-matt . Did [you]832-ava tell [him]2342-matt ? ’[832-ava] [I]2342-matt ca n’t deny it . [I]2342-matt do . [I]2342-matt love [him]2342-matt – so much it hurts . But [I]2342-matt should n’t love [him]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt know [I]2342-matt should n’t . ‘ [I]2342-matt ca n’t . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt turn [my]2342-matt face into [my]2342-matt pillow . ‘ Why ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [He]2342-matt owns [a sex club]3584-a sex club , [Kate]2557-kate . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [He]2342-matt did n’t know how to tell [you]2557-kate . [He]2342-matt was worried [you]2557-kate would walk away . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look at [Kate]2557-kate . ‘ Well , [he]2342-matt did n’t tell [me]2342-matt , and [I]2342-matt ’ve still walked away . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt settle back down into [my]2342-matt tear drenched pillow . ‘ [You]2557-kate heard [that man]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt destroys marriages . [He]2342-matt screws [women]348-women for fun . ’[2342-matt] Why is [she]2557-kate being so defensive ? ‘ Why are [you]2557-kate not shocked ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt mutter into [my]2342-matt pillow . [I]2342-matt know [she]2557-kate ’s laid back , but this is shocking stuff . ‘ [I]2557-kate am … a bit . ’[2557-kate] ‘ [You]2557-kate could ’ve fooled [me]2557-kate . ’[2557-kate] ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [Jesse]327-jesse has n’t so much as looked at [another woman]2697-another woman since [he]327-jesse met [you]2557-kate . [The man]2342-matt is crazy about [you]2557-kate . [Sam]1914-sam never thought [he]2342-matt ’d see the day . ’[2557-kate] ‘ [Sam]1914-sam can say what [he]2342-matt likes , [Kate]2557-kate . It does n’t change the fact that [he]2342-matt owns [a place where [people]372-people go to have sex and [he]2342-matt sometime joins in]308-the place . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt shudder , feeling sick at the thought . Crazy about [me]2342-matt ? That ’s total crap . ‘ [You]2557-kate ca n’t punish [him]2342-matt because of [his]2342-matt past . ’[2557-kate] ‘ It ’s not [his]2342-matt past , though , is it ? [He]2342-matt still owns [the place]308-the place . ’[2557-kate] ‘ It ’s [his]2342-matt business . ’[2557-kate] ‘ Oh , leave [me]2342-matt alone , [Kate]2557-kate . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt spit . [Her]2263-she defending all of this is just pissing [me]2342-matt off . [She]2263-she should be supporting [me]2342-matt , not trying to justify [Jesse]327-jesse ’s misdemeanours . [I]2342-matt feel [her]2263-she weight lift from the bed on a sigh . ‘ [He]327-jesse ’s still [Jesse]327-jesse . ’[2263-she] [she]2263-she says as [she]2263-she leaves [[my]2342-matt bedroom]2495-my bedroom , and [me]2342-matt alone to mourn [my]2342-matt loss . [I]2342-matt lay in silence trying to rid [my]2342-matt head of all the inevitable thoughts . It ’s no good . [My]2342-matt brain is assaulted by flashbacks of the last few weeks . Of [our]2265-our first meeting when [he]327-jesse floored [me]2342-matt , the texts and the calls and then the stalking … and the sex . [I]2342-matt flip [myself]2342-matt onto [my]2342-matt stomach , sinking [my]2342-matt face into [my]2342-matt pillow . [Kate]2557-kate ’s words keep pin - balling around in [my]2342-matt mind “ [he]327-jesse ’s still [Jesse]327-jesse ” . Do [I]2342-matt even know who [Jesse]327-jesse is ? All [I]2342-matt know is [a man who swept [me]2342-matt up in [his]327-jesse intensity and blindsided [me]2342-matt with [his]327-jesse physical being]327-jesse . Another piece of the puzzle falls into place when [I]2342-matt recall [him]327-jesse telling [me]2342-matt that [he]327-jesse has no contact with [[his]327-jesse parents]3374-his parents . [They]3374-his parents disowned [him]327-jesse when [[his]327-jesse uncle]2191-his uncle died and [Jesse]327-jesse refused to sell [The Manor]2356-the manor . It makes sense now . It had nothing to do with the inheritance or sharing [the estate]2356-the manor , and all to do with [[their]3374-his parents twenty one year old son]2269-their twenty one year old son being left to run [a super posh sex club]2270-a super posh sex club . Of course [they]3374-his parents would be concerned , and probably highly pissed . [Their]3374-his parents disapproval of [Jesse]327-jesse ’s relationship with [Carmichael]327-jesse is absolutely warranted . [Christ]72-jesus , did [Carmichael]327-jesse encourage [Jesse]327-jesse to pursue that lifestyle ? [Jesse]327-jesse even said [he]327-jesse was having the time of [his]327-jesse life . [What young man]2271-what young man would n’t be in [a house]299-a house where anything goes ? [He]327-jesse really has had lots of practice . And there ’s a distinct possibility that [he]327-jesse really has never fucked [a woman]395-a woman more than once – apart from [me]2342-matt . It does n’t take [Einstein]263-einstein to figure out why [I]2342-matt was being chucked the evils by all of [those women when [I]2342-matt was at [The Manor]850-there]2274-those women when i was at the manor . [They]2274-those women when i was at the manor all want [him]327-jesse . No , [they]2274-those women when i was at the manor all want [him]327-jesse again . [He]327-jesse played it risky by taking [me]2342-matt [there]850-there , but when [I]2342-matt think carefully , [no one]2594-no one ever approached [me]2342-matt – [I]2342-matt was never alone , never free to roam . Did [everyone]282-everyone know [I]2342-matt was oblivious ? Were [they]282-everyone under instruction to keep quiet , to stay away ? [I]2342-matt must be a complete laughing stock . [He]327-jesse really did go out of [his]327-jesse way to keep [me]2342-matt in the dark . How did [he]327-jesse think [he]327-jesse could get away with it ? [Sarah]54-victoria ’s comment on leathers ... [I]2342-matt push [my]2342-matt face into the pillow in complete despair . ‘ [Ava]832-ava ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look up and see [Sam]1914-sam stood in the doorway , looking as deflated as [he]327-jesse was earlier . ‘ [He]327-jesse beat [himself]327-jesse up on a daily basis trying to think of how [he]327-jesse could tell [you]327-jesse . [I]1914-sam ’ve never seen [him]327-jesse like this before . ’[1914-sam] ‘ [You]327-jesse mean rejected ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say sarcastically . ‘ No , [I]2342-matt ca n’t imagine [Jesse Ward]327-jesse did get many knock backs . ’[2342-matt] ‘ No , [I]1914-sam mean crazy about [a woman]395-a woman . ’[1914-sam] ‘ Oh , [he]327-jesse ’s crazy all right . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt laugh . [Sam]1914-sam frowns , shaking [his]1914-sam head . ‘ Yes , crazy about [you]327-jesse . ’[1914-sam] ‘ No , [Sam]1914-sam . [Jesse]327-jesse is crazy about controlling and manipulating [me]1914-sam . ’[1914-sam] ‘ Do [you]327-jesse mind ? ’[1914-sam] [he]1914-sam asks , standing at the edge of [my]2342-matt bed . ‘ Help [yourself]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt grumble uncharitably . [He]1914-sam perches on the edge of the bed . [I]2342-matt ’ve never seen [him]1914-sam so serious . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [I]2342-matt ’ve known [Jesse]327-jesse for eight years . Not once have [I]2342-matt seen [him]1914-sam behave like this over [a woman]395-a woman . [He]1914-sam ’s never had a relationship beyond sex , but [you]327-jesse came along and it ’s like [he]1914-sam found purpose . [He]1914-sam ’s [a different man]1914-sam , and while [you]327-jesse might have been frustrated over [his]1914-sam protectiveness , as [a friend]2645-a friend , [I]2342-matt was happy to see [him]1914-sam finally care so much to behave like that . [Please]116-please , give [him]1914-sam a chance . ’[2342-matt] ‘ [He]1914-sam was n’t just protective , [Sam]1914-sam . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say tiredly . Protectiveness is just the start of a long list of unreasonable ways . ‘ [He]1914-sam ’s still [Jesse]327-jesse . ’[1914-sam] [Sam]1914-sam repeats [Kate]2557-kate ’s words , looking at [me]2342-matt pleadingly . ‘ [The Manor]2356-the manor is a business . Yes , [he]1914-sam mixed business with pleasure , but [he]1914-sam had nothing else . It all changed when [you]3593-you fell into [his]1914-sam life . ’[1914-sam] ‘ [I]1914-sam ca n’t wrap [my]1914-sam head around all of this , [Sam]1914-sam . ’[1914-sam] [He]1914-sam smiles , picking [my]2342-matt hand up in [his]1914-sam . ‘ If [you]3593-you can tell [me]1914-sam that [you]3593-you can walk away from [him]1914-sam , no second thoughts or regrets , then [I]1914-sam ’ll shut up now and leave . If [you]3593-you can tell [me]1914-sam that [you]3593-you do n’t love [him]1914-sam , [I]1914-sam ’ll walk away . But [I]1914-sam do n’t think [you]2278-you can . [You]2278-you ’re[1914-sam] shocked , [I]2342-matt realise that . And yes , [he]1914-sam has a history , but [you]2278-you ca n’t ignore the fact that [he]1914-sam adores [you]2278-you , [Ava]832-ava . It ’s written all over [his]1914-sam face , expressed in everything [he]1914-sam does . Please , give [him]1914-sam a chance . [He]1914-sam deserves a chance . ’ [Sam]1914-sam ’s pleading speech on behalf of [[his]1914-sam friend]1914-sam sounds like it ’s been well prepared and rehearsed . Maybe it has . [They]3594-they must have known [I]1914-sam ’d find out eventually . Can [I]1914-sam get past this shit ? [I]1914-sam know [I]1914-sam ’m[1914-sam] not doing [myself]2342-matt any favours laying here , kicking [my]2342-matt sorry arse around in circles . [I]2342-matt ’m trying to deal with something [I]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table just do n’t understand and probably never will . [He]1914-sam owns [a sex club]3584-a sex club . This crap does n’t feature into [my]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table idea of a normal , happy ever after . Could [I]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table ever trust [him]1914-sam ? [He]1914-sam cares enough to behave like this ? [He]1914-sam adores [me]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table ? Does adore equal love ? [I]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table ignored all of [Jesse]327-jesse ’s pillow talk in the beginning . All of the “ [you]2280-you ’re[2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table] [mine]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table ” crap and [his]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table declaration of never letting [me]2342-matt leave rubbish . [He]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table said the word love a lot , but not in the context [I]2342-matt so desperately wanted to hear . “ [I]2342-matt love [you]2280-you in lace ” , “ [I]2342-matt love sleepy sex with [you]2280-you ” , “ [I]2342-matt love having [you]2280-you [here ”]2281-here ” . Should [I]2342-matt have looked further into all of it ? Was [he]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table telling [me]2342-matt what [I]2342-matt wanted to hear but in a backwards way ? [He]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table persistently sought reassurance from [me]2342-matt that [I]2342-matt would stay . If all [he]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table needed was comfort that [I]2342-matt was staying put , then [I]2342-matt did that plenty of times , did n’t [I]2342-matt ? [I]2342-matt always told [him]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table [I]2342-matt would stay . But [I]2342-matt did n’t know about [The Manor]2356-the manor then . And now [I]2342-matt do , and [I]2342-matt ’ve left . [He]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table always wanted [me]2342-matt in lace , not leather . [He]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table claimed [me]2342-matt as [his]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table . [He]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table was possessive to the absolute maximum – unreasonably so . [He]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table always wanted to keep [me]2342-matt covered , never wanting [me]2342-matt to be exposed to [anyone]2475-anyone but [him]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table . Leather , sharing and the exposure of female flesh must be a regular occurrence at [The Manor]2356-the manor , surely . Was [he]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table was trying to make [me]2342-matt the complete opposite of everything [he]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table knows ? Everything [he]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table ’s use to ? But what about the sex ? [I]2342-matt sit up . [I]2342-matt need to talk to [him]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table . [I]2342-matt can get over [The Manor]2356-the manor , [I]2342-matt think . But [I]2342-matt know , for absolutely sure , [I]2342-matt ’ll never get over [Jesse]327-jesse . This is an easy decision really . Seeing [him]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table so fraught and desperate must at least mean [he]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table ’s hurting , surely ? [He]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table would n’t behave like that if [I]2342-matt did n’t mean something to [him]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table , would [he]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table ? So many questions … [I]2342-matt look at [Sam]1914-sam . A small smile spreads across [his]1914-sam cheeky face . ‘ [My]1914-sam work here is done . ’[1914-sam] [he]1914-sam mimics [Jesse]327-jesse ’s words as [he]1914-sam gets up on a little wince . ‘ That evil cow , [she]2557-kate ’ll be moaning when [I]1914-sam ca n’t perform . ’[1914-sam] [I]2342-matt smile on the inside . This bombshell , obviously , has n’t affected [Kate]2557-kate in the same way it has [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt throw on the nearest clothes [I]2342-matt can find – which happen to be ripped jeans and a Jimmy Hendrix t - shirt – and grab [my]2342-matt car keys . Tears flood [my]2342-matt eyes and guilt punches a great hole in the stomach . [I]2342-matt ’ve made a monumental fuck up . [He]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table was [the one who wanted the cards on the table]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table . [He]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table was going to tell [me]2342-matt about [The Manor]2356-the manor , but was there something else [he]2279-the one who wanted the cards on the table wanted to tell [me]2342-matt ? [I]2342-matt hope so , because [I]2342-matt ’m on [my]832-ava way to find out . [Sarah]54-victoria ’s warning about building dreams on [Jesse]327-jesse comes crashing back into [my]832-ava mind as [I]832-ava race down to [[my]832-ava car]3284-jesse ’s car . Maybe , [she]54-victoria ’s right , but [I]832-ava ca n’t live not knowing . Chapter 38 [I]832-ava drive to [Lusso]66-lusso in a stupid fashion , overtaking , banging [my]832-ava car horn impatiently and running a few red lights . When [I]832-ava pull up at [the docks]2630-the docks , [I]832-ava see [[Jesse]327-jesse ’s car]3284-jesse ’s car parked on an angle , spanning two of [[his]327-jesse allocated spaces]3598-his allocated spaces . [I]832-ava abandon [[my]832-ava Mini]2340-my mini on [the road]2482-the road , let [myself]832-ava in the pedestrian gate – thanking all that ’s holy [I]832-ava remember the code – and rush into [the foyer]2536-the foyer , finding [Clive]101-clive at the concierge desk . [He]327-jesse ’s looking more cheerful than usual . ‘[832-ava] [Ava]832-ava ! [I]2342-matt ’ve finally got the hang of all this ruddy equipment . ’ [he]327-jesse declares delightedly . [I]101-clive brace [myself]101-clive on the high , marble counter to catch [my]101-clive breath . ‘[101-clive] Great , [Clive]101-clive . [I]2342-matt told [you]101-clive it would come . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Are [you]101-clive okay ? ’ ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m fine . [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] just going up to [Jesse]327-jesse . ’ The phone on the desk starts ringing , and [Clive]101-clive holds [his]101-clive finger up in a signal for [me]264-mr holland to excuse [him]101-clive for a second . ‘[264-mr holland] [Mr Holland]264-mr holland ? Yes Sir , of course , [Sir]327-jesse . ’ [He]101-clive hangs up , scribbling a few notes on [his]101-clive pad . ‘[327-jesse] Sorry about that . ’ ‘[327-jesse] That ’s okay . [I]2342-matt ’ll make [my]2342-matt way up . ’ ‘[2342-matt] Ah , [Ava]832-ava , [Mr Ward]327-jesse has n’t notified [me]2342-matt of [your]327-jesse visit . ’ [He]101-clive scans [his]101-clive screen . [I]327-jesse gape at [him]101-clive . Is [he]101-clive having [me]327-jesse on ? [He]101-clive ’s seen [Jesse]327-jesse carry [me]327-jesse in and out of [this place]310-whoever on numerous occasions . What ’s [he]101-clive playing at ? [I]327-jesse smile sweetly . ‘[327-jesse] How are [you]327-jesse finding the job , [Clive]101-clive ? ’ [He]101-clive immediately becomes willing and animated . ‘[101-clive] Well , [I]2342-matt ’m basically [a personal assistant to [thirteen filthy rich residents]3604-thirteen filthy rich residents]3603-a personal assistant to thirteen filthy rich residents , but [I]101-clive love it . [You]327-jesse should hear some of the requests [I]101-clive get . Yesterday , [Mr Daniels]265-mr daniels asked [me]101-clive to organise a chopper ride over [the city]2326-the city for [[his]101-clive daughter]3606-his daughter and [three friends]3607-three friends and … ’[101-clive] [He]101-clive leans over the counter , lowering [his]101-clive voice . ‘ [Mr Gomez]266-mr gomez up on fifth , [he]101-clive has [a different woman]3608-a different woman every day of the week . And [Mr Holland]264-mr holland seems to have a thing for the Thai birds . But keep that to [yourself]264-mr holland . It ’s all confidential . ’[101-clive] [He]101-clive winks , and [I]2342-matt wonder what [Jesse]327-jesse has had [him]101-clive do or arrange . [Organise]267-organise for [his]101-clive smashed car window to be fixed would be a start . ‘ Wow , it sounds very interesting . [I]2285-you ’m[2285-you] glad [you]2285-you ’re enjoying it , [Clive]101-clive . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt broaden [my]2342-matt smile at [him]101-clive . ‘ Do [you]2285-you mind if [I]2342-matt head up ? ’[2342-matt] ‘ [I]2342-matt need to call first , [Ava]832-ava . ’[2342-matt] ‘ Call then ! ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt huff impatiently , standing and shifting irritably , while [Clive]101-clive rings up to [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse . [He]101-clive hangs up and dials again . ‘ [I]101-clive ’m[101-clive] sure [I]2342-matt saw [him]101-clive pass through . ’ [he]101-clive mutters on a frown . ‘[101-clive] Maybe , [I]2342-matt did n’t . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [[His]101-clive car]2476-his car ’s outside , [he]101-clive must be [here]314-here , ’ [I]101-clive push frantically . ‘[101-clive] Try again . ’ [I]101-clive point to the telephone . [Clive]101-clive presses a few buttons again as [I]101-clive look on . [He]101-clive hangs up again , shaking [his]101-clive head . ‘[101-clive] No , [he]101-clive ’s definitely not there . And [he]101-clive has n’t put a DND on [his]101-clive system , so [he]101-clive ’s not asleep or busy . [He]101-clive must have gone out . ’ [I]101-clive frown . ‘[101-clive] [DND]268-dnd ? ’ ‘[268-dnd] Do not disturb . ’ ‘[268-dnd] Oh . [Clive]101-clive , [I]2342-matt know [he]101-clive ’s [home]281-home . Please , can [I]2342-matt go up ? ’ [I]2342-matt plead . [I]2342-matt ca n’t believe [he]101-clive ’s being so difficult . [He]101-clive leans over [his]101-clive desk , narrows [his]101-clive eyes on [me]2342-matt and looks to either side , checking [the coast]3609-the coast is clear . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt can get in serious trouble for not following protocol , but as it ’s [you]101-clive , [Ava]832-ava , ’ [He]101-clive winks . ‘[832-ava] Go on . ’ [He]101-clive thumbs over [his]101-clive shoulder and straightens [his]101-clive green hat . ‘[101-clive] Thanks , [Clive]101-clive . ’ [I]101-clive jump in [the elevator]780-the elevator , punch in the code and pray [he]101-clive has n’t got around to re - programming it in the short time [I]101-clive ’ve been gone . [I]101-clive let out a relieved breath of air when the doors close and [I]101-clive start [my]101-clive journey to [the penthouse]2332-the penthouse . [He]101-clive ’s got to answer the door yet – [I]101-clive do n’t have a key . [My]101-clive stomach does a few three sixties as the elevator door slides open and [I]101-clive ’m[101-clive] faced with the double doors into [[Jesse]327-jesse ’s apartment]2332-the penthouse . [I]2342-matt frown to [myself]2342-matt . The door ’s open and there ’s music – very loud music . [I]2342-matt walk to the door , gently pushing it open , [my]2342-matt ears instantly bombarded from every direction by an extremely powerful and poignant , but equally sad track . [I]2342-matt recognise it instantly – [Angel]228-massive attack ’s angel . The words hit [me]2342-matt like a thunderbolt , immediately putting [me]2342-matt on guard . Right now , it sounds so loud and depressing , not soft and ardent like it was when [we]2291-we made love . [I]2342-matt need to find a remote control so [I]2342-matt can turn it down , or off . It ’s so affecting . And with it coming from all of [the integrated speakers]2292-the integrated speakers , there ’s no escaping it . Maybe [he]2293-he ’s not [here]314-here . Maybe the system has malfunctioned because [he]2293-he could n’t possibly sustain this noise level for long . But the door was wide open . [I]2342-matt clamp [my]2342-matt hands over [my]2342-matt ears as [I]2342-matt glance around the huge space trying to locate a remote control . Running into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , [I]2342-matt spot one on [the island]2653-the island and quickly find the volume button to turn the music down – a lot . Once [I]2342-matt ’ve taken care of the noise levels , [I]2342-matt go in search of [him]2293-he , making [my]2342-matt way through [the open plan area]2297-the open plan area . As [I]2342-matt reach [the stairs]272-the stairs , [I]2342-matt kick something and watch as it clatters across the floor . [I]2342-matt pick up the glass bottle and place it on the console unit at the bottom of [the stairs]272-the stairs before taking them two at a time . [I]2342-matt go straight to [the master suite]694-the master suite , but [he]2293-he ’s not in there . [I]2342-matt proceed to frantically search [every other room on the floor]2300-every other room on the floor . [He]2293-he ’s in none of [them]272-the stairs . Where is [he]2293-he ? [I]2342-matt get half way down [the stairs]272-the stairs , stopping abruptly when [my]2342-matt eyes land on the empty bottle that [I]2342-matt scooped up . It ’s vodka . Well , it was . It ’s been drained dry . A wave of uneasiness rolls over [me]2342-matt as a million thoughts invade [my]2342-matt head . [I]2342-matt ’ve never seen [Jesse]327-jesse drink – not ever . Every time alcohol has been on offer , [he]2293-he ’s refused , ordering water instead . It never occurred to [me]2342-matt to wonder why . Have [I]2342-matt ever seen [him]2293-he drink ? No , [I]2342-matt do n’t think [I]2342-matt have . Now , looking at the empty bottle of vodka placed carefully on the table and thinking about how carelessly it was tossed on the floor , something is n’t right . ‘ Oh , please no . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt whisper to [myself]2342-matt . [His]2293-he insistence on [me]2342-matt not drinking on Friday comes rushing back into [my]2342-matt mind like a tidal wave . [Our]2301-our little altercation in [The Blue Bar]1105-the blue bar , when [he]2293-he tried to force feed [me]2342-matt some water , suddenly does n’t seem so unusual or unreasonable . [I]2342-matt hear a crash , [my]2342-matt eyes snapping from the empty bottle of vodka to [the outside terrace]2303-the outside terrace . The huge glass doors are open . [I]2342-matt sprint the rest of the way down [the stairs]272-the stairs , across [the living space]2305-the living space , skidding to a halt at the doors when [I]2342-matt see [Jesse]327-jesse struggling to get [himself]327-jesse up from [one of [the sun loungers]2307-the sun loungers]2306-one of the sun loungers . Have [I]2342-matt had [my]2342-matt eyes closed for the past few weeks ? [I]2342-matt ’ve missed so much . [He]327-jesse has a towel wrapped around [his]327-jesse waist and a bottle of vodka in [his]327-jesse hand , which [he]327-jesse ’s keeping a tight hold of as [he]327-jesse fights to push [himself]327-jesse up on [his]327-jesse free arm . [He]327-jesse ’s swearing profusely . [I]2342-matt ’m froze on the spot as [I]65-ha watch this man that [I]65-ha ’ve fallen in love with , [a physically powerful , passionate and captivating man , reduced to a drunken wreck]327-jesse . How did this slip past [me]65-ha ? [I]65-ha ’ve not even wrapped [my]65-ha head around all of the other shit that ’s been landed on [me]65-ha today . And now this on top of everything else ? What have [I]65-ha done to deserve this ? Once [he]327-jesse ’s hauled [himself]327-jesse up , [he]327-jesse turns to face [me]65-ha , [his]327-jesse eyes hollow , [his]327-jesse face washed out . It does n’t look like [him]327-jesse . ‘[65-ha] [You]65-ha ’re too late , [lady]65-ha . ’[327-jesse] [he]327-jesse slurs viciously , glaring at [me]2342-matt . [He]327-jesse ’s never looked at [me]2342-matt like this before . [He]327-jesse ’s never spoken to [me]2342-matt like this before . Not even when [he]327-jesse ’s been crazy mad with [me]2342-matt . What ’s happened to [him]327-jesse ? ‘ [You]65-ha ’re[327-jesse] drunk . ’ [I]65-ha blurt . What a stupid thing to say , but all other words have run , screaming very loudly , from [my]65-ha brain . [My]65-ha eyes have been tortured way past repair today . ‘[65-ha] That ’s very observant of [you]65-ha . ’ [He]327-jesse lifts the bottle and swigs the rest of the vodka before wiping [his]327-jesse mouth with the back of [his]327-jesse hand . ‘[65-ha] Not drunk enough , though . ’ [He]327-jesse walks forward purposely , and [I]65-ha instinctively move out of [his]327-jesse way , knowing [he]327-jesse would cause [me]65-ha damage if [he]327-jesse crashed into [me]65-ha . ‘[65-ha] Where are [you]65-ha going ? ’ [I]65-ha ask as [he]327-jesse passes [me]65-ha . ‘[65-ha] What ’s it to [you]65-ha ? ’ [he]327-jesse spits , without so much as looking at [me]269-bastard . [I]269-bastard follow [him]327-jesse into [the kitchen]2349-the kitchen , watching as [he]327-jesse drags another bottle of vodka from the freezer and tosses [his]327-jesse empty into the sink . [He]327-jesse starts unscrewing the cap . ‘[269-bastard] [Bastard]269-bastard ! ’ [he]327-jesse hisses , shaking [his]327-jesse hand . It ’s then that [I]327-jesse notice the mass of swelling and cuts marring it . [He]327-jesse perseveres with the screw cap , eventually removing it before knocking back a huge swig . ‘[327-jesse] [Jesse]327-jesse , [your]327-jesse hand needs looking at . ’ [He]327-jesse throws [his]327-jesse hand up in front of [him]327-jesse , taking another mouthful from the bottle . ‘[327-jesse] Look then . Yet more damage [you]327-jesse ’ve caused . ’ [he]327-jesse snarls . [I]327-jesse ’ve caused ? What ’s [he]327-jesse trying to say ? That on top of everything else , [I]327-jesse ’ve pushed [him]327-jesse over the edge to drink ? ‘[327-jesse] Yeah , [you]327-jesse can stand there … stand there looking all bewildered … and … and … confused . [I]2342-matt fucking told [you]327-jesse ! ’ [he]327-jesse shouts . ‘[2342-matt] Did n’t [I]2342-matt warn [you]327-jesse ? [I]2342-matt … [I]2342-matt warned [you]327-jesse ! ’ [He]327-jesse ’s hysterical . ‘[2342-matt] Warned [me]2342-matt about what ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask quietly , but [I]2342-matt know what [he]327-jesse ’s going to say . This is the further damage [I]2342-matt would cause if [I]2342-matt left . This is what [he]327-jesse wo n’t recover from . Things were more bearable with [me]2342-matt around because [he]327-jesse was n’t drinking . Why ? [He]327-jesse throws back more vodka . [I]2342-matt try and mentally calculate how much [he]327-jesse ’s had . This is the third bottle [I]2342-matt ’ve seen , but what about the ones [I]2342-matt have n’t ? Can [anyone]2475-anyone drink that much ? ‘[2342-matt] Fucking typical . ’ [he]327-jesse shouts at the ceiling . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt did n’t know . ’ [I]2342-matt whisper . [He]327-jesse laughs . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2309-you did n’t know ? ’ [He]327-jesse points the bottle at [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt said [you]2309-you would cause more damage if [you]2309-you left [me]2342-matt , but [you]2309-you still left anyway . Now look at the fucking state of [me]2342-matt . ’ [I]2342-matt flinch at [his]327-jesse words . [I]2342-matt feel like crying . Seeing [him]327-jesse in [this state]3613-this state makes [me]2342-matt want to cry hard , but shock is controlling the tears . This is not [the Jesse [I]2342-matt know]3614-the jesse i know . [This man]327-jesse is [a stranger]327-jesse – [a hurtful , cruel and merciless man]327-jesse , who [I]2342-matt do n’t love at all . [I]2342-matt do n’t need [this man]327-jesse . [He]327-jesse starts pacing towards [me]2342-matt . [I]2342-matt back away . [I]2342-matt do n’t want to be anywhere near [him]327-jesse . ‘[2342-matt] That ’s it , run away . ’ [He]327-jesse continues stalking forward , gaining on [me]2310-you with every step . ‘[2310-you] [You]2310-you ’re a fucking prick tease , [Ava]832-ava . [I]2310-you can have [you]2310-you , then [I]2310-you ca n’t , then [I]2310-you can again . Make [your]2310-you fucking mind up ! ’[2310-you] ‘ Why did n’t [you]2310-you tell [me]2311-an alcoholic [you]2310-you ’re[2311-an alcoholic] [an alcoholic]2311-an alcoholic ? ’ [I]2311-an alcoholic ask as [my]2311-an alcoholic back hits the wall . There ’s no more retreating space . Why did n’t [you]2310-you tell [me]2311-an alcoholic everything ? ‘[2311-an alcoholic] And give [you]2310-you another reason not to want [me]2342-matt ? ’ [he]2342-matt spits . [He]2342-matt then seems to consider something . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt ’m not [an alcoholic]2311-an alcoholic ! ’[2342-matt] Denial ! Just how bad is this ? [I]2342-matt ’ve never seen [him]2342-matt drunk before . [He]2342-matt ’s on top of [me]2342-matt , looking down at [me]2342-matt . This close up , [his]2342-matt eyes are even more hollow and dark . ‘ [You]2310-you need help . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt say on a cracking voice . [I]2342-matt ’m going to need help too . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt needed [you]2310-you and … [you]2310-you … [you]2310-you left [me]2342-matt . ’ [His]2342-matt breath is hot , but it ’s not [his]2342-matt usual minty smell . All [I]2342-matt can smell are alcohol fumes , so whoever claims [you]2310-you ca n’t smell vodka is lying . [I]2342-matt plant [my]2342-matt palms on [his]2342-matt bare chest to push [him]2342-matt away , applying only a little pressure for fear [I]2342-matt might push [him]2342-matt over . It ’s laughable . [This tall , lean , strapping man]2342-matt , but [he]2342-matt ’s so unstable on [his]2342-matt feet . [His]2342-matt chest feels like [him]2342-matt – that [I]2342-matt recognise , but it ’s the only part of [him]2342-matt that [I]2342-matt do at the moment . [He]2342-matt takes a step back , tipping the bottle to [his]2342-matt lips again . [I]2342-matt want to grab it and smash it on the floor . ‘[2342-matt] Sorry , am [I]2342-matt invading [your]2312-you space ? ’ [He]2342-matt laughs . ‘[2342-matt] It ’s never bothered [you]2312-you before . ’ ‘[2342-matt] [You]2312-you were n’t drunk before . ’ [I]2342-matt retort . ‘[2342-matt] No … [I]2342-matt was n’t . [I]2342-matt was too busy fucking [you]2312-you to think about having a drink , ’ [He]2342-matt looks at [me]2342-matt with disgust , leaning forward . ‘[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt was too busy fucking [you]2312-you to think about anything . And [you]2312-you loved it . ’ [He]2342-matt smirks . ‘[2312-you] [You]2312-you were good . In fact , [you]2312-you were the best [I]2342-matt ’ve had . And [I]2342-matt ’ve had a lot . ’ Rage flies through [me]2342-matt like a rocket . So fast , [I]2342-matt do n’t even notice that [my]2342-matt hand has flown out and slapped [him]2342-matt clean across [his]2342-matt face – not until the sting sets in and it starts throbbing . Fuck , that hurt ! [He]2342-matt holds [his]2342-matt face to the side , where [my]2342-matt vicious hand has put it , before slowly turning it back to [me]2342-matt . [He]2342-matt laughs mildly . ‘[2342-matt] Fun , was n’t it ? ’ [I]2342-matt look at [him]2342-matt in complete contempt , shaking [my]2342-matt head . [I]2342-matt feel like [I]2342-matt ’m[2342-matt] being dragged through a madcap movie . This sort of shit just does n’t happen , especially not to [me]2342-matt . [Sex houses]2313-sex houses , crazy madness and alcoholic arseholes . How did [I]2342-matt get caught up in all of this freakiness ? ‘ [You]2314-you ’re[2342-matt] one fucked up sorry state . ’ ‘[2314-you] Watch [your]2314-you mouth . ’ [he]2342-matt slurs . ‘[2314-you] [You]2314-you do n’t get to tell [me]2342-matt what [I]2342-matt can say ! ’ [I]2342-matt shout . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2314-you do n’t get to tell how to do anything . Not anymore ! ’ ‘[2342-matt] I’m.a.fucked.up.sorry.state.and.it’s.all.because.of.you . ’ [He]2342-matt punctuates each and every word on a slur , jabbing [his]2342-matt finger in [my]2342-matt face . [I]2342-matt fear [I]2342-matt might actually punch [him]2342-matt in [his]2342-matt drunken face if [I]2342-matt do n’t leave now . But all of [my]2342-matt stuff is here , and [I]2342-matt need to get it . [I]2342-matt do n’t want to ever come back . [I]2342-matt brush past [him]2342-matt , hurrying for [the stairs]272-the stairs . With any luck , [he]2342-matt ’s too drunk to climb [them]272-the stairs , and [I]2342-matt can snatch [my]2342-matt things up without any further vicious exchanges . [I]2342-matt take [the stairs]272-the stairs fast , barreling into [the bedroom]2382-the bathroom and standing for a few moments wondering where [he]2342-matt would ’ve put [my]2342-matt bag . Finding [my]2342-matt overnight case tucked neatly behind some shoe boxes in the wardrobe , [I]2342-matt yank it free , pulling down [my]2342-matt clothes from the hangers and scooping up [my]2342-matt things from the floor at the same time . [I]2342-matt rush back into [the bedroom]2382-the bathroom , finding [Jesse]327-jesse stood in the doorway . It ’s taken [him]327-jesse a lot longer than usual , but [he]327-jesse ’s made it up [the stairs]272-the stairs . [I]2342-matt ignore [him]327-jesse and run into [the bathroom]2382-the bathroom , all but flinging [my]2342-matt toiletries into [my]2342-matt bag without checking they ’re[2342-matt] sealed . [I]2342-matt ’ll probably have a pile of clothes caked in shampoo by the time [I]2342-matt get out of [here]314-here , but [I]2342-matt could n’t care less . [I]2342-matt need out , and [I]2342-matt need out quickly . ‘ Does this bring back memories , [Ava]832-ava ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look up , finding [him]2342-matt stroking the top of the vanity unit , [his]2342-matt face straight as [he]2342-matt caresses the marble counter . [I]2342-matt try to blank out [our]2316-we launch night encounter . In [this very suite]2317-this very suite was where [I]2342-matt finally surrendered to [this man]327-jesse . In [this bathroom]2317-this very suite was where [we]2316-we made love for the first time . No , [we]2316-we fucked for the first time . And now it all ends here too . [He]327-jesse ’s blocking [my]2342-matt path with [his]327-jesse tall , swaying body . [I]2342-matt notice the bottle of vodka has been abandoned , [his]327-jesse towel working its way loose . [I]2342-matt try to side step [him]327-jesse , but [he]327-jesse moves with [me]2342-matt , hampering [my]2342-matt attempts to pass . ‘ [You]2342-matt ’re[327-jesse] really going ? ’ [he]327-jesse slurs softly . ‘[2342-matt] [You]2342-matt think [I]2342-matt would stay ? ’ [I]2342-matt ask exasperated . After everything that ’s transpired today ? [I]2342-matt ’d thought [I]2342-matt could overcome [The Manor]2356-the manor and all the crap that accompanies it , but this on top of all that has just catapulted [my]2342-matt already crumbled world into complete obliteration . No amount of love or feelings could ever fix this mess . [He]2342-matt ’s led [me]2342-matt on a merry dance . [He]2342-matt ’s purposely deceived [me]2342-matt and manipulated [me]2342-matt . ‘[2342-matt] So , that ’s it ? [You]2342-matt ’ve turned [my]2342-matt life upside down , caused all this damage , and now [you]2342-matt ’re leaving without fixing it ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt look up at [him]2342-matt in shock . Does [he]2342-matt think that [he]2342-matt ’s the only one affected by all of this ? [I]2342-matt ’ve turned [his]2342-matt world upside down ? Even in a paralytic state , [the man]2342-matt is delusional . ‘ Goodbye , [Jesse]327-jesse . ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt push past [him]2342-matt , heading straight for [the stairs]272-the stairs , fighting the urge to look back . [The devastating man [I]2342-matt fell [I]2342-matt love with]2342-matt , [the man that [I]2342-matt thought]2342-matt would be engraved on [my]2342-matt mind ’s eye for the rest of [my]2342-matt life , has been cruelly replaced by [that nasty , drunken creature]2342-matt . ‘ [I]2342-matt wanted to tell [you]2342-matt , but [you]2342-matt had to be [your]2342-matt usual difficult self ! ’[2342-matt] [he]2342-matt roars at [my]2342-matt back . ‘ How can [you]2342-matt walk away ? ’[2342-matt] [I]2342-matt flinch at [his]2342-matt harshness but keep going . ‘ [Ava]832-ava , [baby]832-ava , please ! ’[2342-matt] Half way down [the stairs]272-the stairs , [I]2342-matt hear a loud clatter and a collection of bangs and crashes . This just makes [me]2342-matt run faster . Any dream of falling into [his]2342-matt strong , loving arms has been sensationally dashed . [My]2342-matt happy ever after with [[my]2342-matt lovable rogue]2321-my lovable rogue has been chewed up and spat out . [I]2342-matt could have tumbled into a relationship with [Jesse]327-jesse without a clue about [his]2342-matt dark secrets . When would [I]2342-matt have eventually found out ? [I]2342-matt should be thankful . At least [I]2342-matt know now , before it ’s too late . Before it ’s too late ? It ’s way past too late . [I]2342-matt approach [Kate]2557-kate ’s door in a numb haze and it swings open before [I]2342-matt have a chance to put [my]2342-matt key in the lock . [She]2557-kate looks at [me]2342-matt , confusion clear on [her]2557-kate face . ‘ What ’s happened ? ’[2557-kate] [she]2557-kate asks , [her]2557-kate eyes all wide and concerned . [Sam]1914-sam appears behind [her]2557-kate . [One]270-one look at [his]270-one face tells [me]2342-matt [he]270-one knows exactly what ’s just happened . Every aching muscle gives way , including [my]2342-matt heart , and [I]2342-matt collapse to the floor in a heap , sobbing uncontrollably . [I]2342-matt ’m vaguely aware of arms wrapped around [me]327-jesse , rocking [me]327-jesse back and forth . But [they]3618-they do n’t comfort [me]327-jesse . [They]3618-they ’re[327-jesse] not [Jesse]327-jesse ’s . The end …